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1package kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.news
2
3import android.graphics.Color
4import android.text.SpannableStringBuilder
5import android.text.Spanned
6import android.text.style.ForegroundColorSpan
7import com.google.common.base.Strings
8import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.BigFunctions.*
9import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.Format.*
10import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.achievements.AchievementTimers
11import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.achievements.Achievements
12import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.achievements.Achievements.Achievement
13import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.challenge.EternityChallenges.EternityChallenge
14import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.challenge.InfinityChallenges.InfinityChallenge
15import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.dimension.InfinityDimensions
16import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.eternity.studies.NormalTimeStudies.TimeStudy
17import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.infinity.replicanti.Replicanti
18import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.math.FastRandom
19import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.notation.Notations
20import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.player.DeviceOptions
21import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.player.DeviceOptions.bottomButtonsOption
22import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.player.DeviceOptions.newsTickerSpeed
23import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.player.Player.player
24import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.player.PlayerProgress
25import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.shop.AdBonus.getAdBonus
26import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.shop.IAP.iap
27import kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.time.Time
28
29/* Simulated pause between news messages (requires refining) */
30private val SPACES_BETWEEN_NEWSTICKERS = { Strings.repeat(" ", if (DeviceOptions.orientation == 2) 220 else 80) }
31
32internal val normalNews = arrayOf(
33    NewsMessage(
34        id = 1,
35        text = "Antimatter Dimensions: the next update is always 5 hours away. Always."
36    ),
37    NewsMessage(
38        id = 2,
39        text = "The cookie is a lie."
40    ),
41    NewsMessage(
42        id = 3,
43        text = "Antimatter cookies have been confirmed to not exist. Whoever claims that, stop."
44    ),
45    NewsMessage(
46        id = 4,
47        text = "Antimatter ghosts do not exist. Just like matter ghosts. They don't have any matter, for that matter."
48    ),
49    NewsMessage(
50        id = 5,
51        text = "Nuclear power plants have been abandoned in favor of antimatter power."
52    ),
53    NewsMessage(
54        id = 6,
55        text = "Antimatter prices have drastically dropped due to newfound abundance."
56    ),
57    NewsMessage(
58        id = 7,
59        text = "In the news today, humans make an antimatter sacrifice to the antimatter god."
60    ),
61    NewsMessage(
62        id = 8,
63        text = "You made one antimatter! Whatever that means."
64    ),
65    NewsMessage(
66        id = 9,
67        text = "Scientists confirm that the colour of antimatter is Blurple."
68    ),
69    NewsMessage(
70        id = 10,
71        text = "How does it matter if it's antimatter?"
72    ),
73    NewsMessage(
74        id = 11,
75        text = "None of this matters."
76    ),
77    NewsMessage(
78        id = 12,
79        text = "IN THE END, IT DOESN'T ANTIMATTER -hevipelle"
80    ),
81    NewsMessage(
82        id = 13,
83        text = "How does NASA organise a party? They planet."
84    ),
85    NewsMessage(
86        id = 14,
87        text = "Electrons are now seeing the happy things in life. We're calling these happy electrons \"Positrons\". Wait, that's taken?"
88    ),
89    NewsMessage(
90        id = 15,
91        text = "This completely useless sentence will get you nowhere and you know it. What a horrible obnoxious man would come up with it, he will probably go to some PEGI-3 appropriate place, and why would the developer even implement it? Even if you kept reading it you wouldn't be able to finish it (the first time)."
92    ),
93    NewsMessage(
94        id = 16,
95        text = "GHOST SAYS HELLO -Boo-chan"
96    ),
97    NewsMessage(
98        id = 17,
99        text = "Can someone tell hevi to calm down? -Mee6"
100    ),
101    NewsMessage(
102        id = 18,
103        text = "Due to Antimatter messing with physics, a creature that was once a moose is now a human."
104    ),
105    NewsMessage(
106        id = 19,
107        text = "!hi"
108    ),
109    NewsMessage(
110        id = 20,
111        text = "Alright -Alright"
112    ),
113    NewsMessage(
114        id = 21,
115        text = "The English greeting is not present in Antimatter speak."
116    ),
117    NewsMessage(
118        id = 22,
119        text = "To buy max, or not to buy max, that is the question."
120    ),
121    NewsMessage(
122        id = 23,
123        text = "This antimatter triggers me."
124    ),
125    NewsMessage(
126        id = 24,
127        text = "No, mom, I can't pause this game."
128    ),
129    NewsMessage(
130        id = 25,
131        text = "Scientific notation has entered the battlefield."
132    ),
133    NewsMessage(
134        id = 26,
135        text = "Make the Universe Great Again! -Tronald Dump"
136    ),
137    NewsMessage(
138        id = 27,
139        text = "#dank-maymays"
140    ),
141    NewsMessage(
142        id = 28,
143        text = "A new religion has been created, and it's spreading like wildfire. The believers of this religion worship the Heavenly Pelle, the goddess of antimatter. They also believe that 10^308 is infinite."
144    ),
145    NewsMessage(
146        id = 29,
147        text = "Someone has just touched a blob, and blown up. Was the blob antimatter, or was the guy made of Explodium?"
148    ),
149    NewsMessage(
150        id = 30,
151        text = "This news will not stop at this station. Please wait for the next news."
152    ),
153    NewsMessage(
154        id = 31,
155        text = "Rate 5 on Google Play so more people can experience this 5 star Rating."
156    ),
157    NewsMessage(
158        id = 32,
159        text = "BOO!"
160    ),
161    NewsMessage(
162        id = 33,
163        text = "You ate for too long. -Hevipelle"
164    ),
165    NewsMessage(
166        id = 34,
167        text = "I hate myself. -Boo-chan"
168    ),
169    NewsMessage(
170        id = 35,
171        text = "To see a world in a grain of sand, And a heaven in a wild flower, Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand, And eternity in an hour."
172    ),
173    NewsMessage(
174        id = 36,
175        text = "Above us, there is nothing above, but the stars, above."
176    ),
177    NewsMessage(
178        id = 37,
179        text = "NEWS actually stands for Not Every Walrus Sings"
180    ),
181    NewsMessage(
182        id = 38,
183        text = "Somebody wasn't nice, he got an antimatter-storm."
184    ),
185    NewsMessage(
186        id = 39,
187        text = "You are living, you occupy space, you have a mass, you matter... unless you antimatter."
188    ),
189    NewsMessage(
190        id = 40,
191        text = "I tapped too fast... my phone is now dematerialized."
192    ),
193    NewsMessage(
194        id = 41,
195        text = "If an alien lands on your front lawn and extends an appendage as a gesture of greeting, before you get friendly, toss it an eight ball. If the appendage explodes, then the alien was probably made of antimatter. If not, then you can proceed to take it to your leader. -Neil deGrasse Tyson"
196    ),
197    NewsMessage(
198        id = 42,
199        text = "There always must be equal matter than there is antimatter, I guess your mom balances that a bit"
200    ),
201    NewsMessage(
202        id = 43,
203        text = "Nothing is created, nothing is destroyed."
204    ),
205    NewsMessage(
206        id = 44,
207        text = "We dug a big hole to store this antimatter... Adele's rolling in it."
208    ),
209    NewsMessage(
210        id = 45,
211        text = "If everything is antimatter, how can you see yourself?"
212    ),
213    NewsMessage(
214        id = 46,
215        text = "The stock markets have crashed due to antimatter beings somehow knowing what they will be tomorrow."
216    ),
217    NewsMessage(
218        id = 47,
219        text = "My dog ate too much antimatter, now he is doing \"meow!\""
220    ),
221    NewsMessage(
222        id = 48,
223        text = "If you put Infinity into your calculator it will result in 42!"
224    ),
225    NewsMessage(
226        id = 49,
227        text = "You have found the rarest antimatter pepe, it's ultra rare!"
228    ),
229    NewsMessage(
230        id = 50,
231        text = "Can we get 1e169 likes on this video??? Smash that like button!!"
232    ),
233    NewsMessage(
234        id = 51,
235        text = "The smell of antimatter has been revealed. It smells like kittens."
236    ),
237    NewsMessage(
238        id = 52,
239        text = "Just another antimatter in the wall."
240    ),
241    NewsMessage(
242        id = 53,
243        text = "GET SNIPED, WEAKLING!"
244    ),
245    NewsMessage(
246        id = 54,
247        text = "Thanks a lot -Dankesehr"
248    ),
249    NewsMessage(
250        id = 55,
251        text = "This world situation is a SOS situation to the world!! MAYDAY, MAYDAY!!"
252    ),
253    NewsMessage(
254        id = 56,
255        text = "As for sure as the sun rises in the west, of all the singers and poets on earth, I am the bestest. -hevipelle"
256    ),
257    NewsMessage(
258        id = 57,
259        text = "I'm good at using github -Hevipelle"
260    ),
261    NewsMessage(
262        id = 58,
263        text = "A new chat server has been created for Antimatter people to spy on Matter people, and the world has fallen into chaos and discord."
264    ),
265    NewsMessage(
266        id = 59,
267        text = "A new study has come out linking the consumption of potatoes with increased risk of Antimatter implosion. Scientists suggest eating more."
268    ),
269    NewsMessage(
270        id = 60,
271        text = "I thought that I fixed that bug but apparently some update broke it again -hevipelle"
272    ),
273    NewsMessage(
274        id = 61,
275        text = "Maybe I'm stupid then -Bootato"
276    ),
277    NewsMessage(
278        id = 62,
279        text = "Breaking news! Hevipelle has just announced that the buy max button is in fact going to be removed!"
280    ),
281    NewsMessage(
282        id = 63,
283        text = "I dedicate this game to my girlfriend."
284    ),
285    NewsMessage(
286        id = 64,
287        text = "Antimatter guns don't kill antimatter people, antimatter people kill antimatter people but does that mean that antimatter toaster doesn't toast antimatter toasts, antimatter toast toasts antimatter toasts?"
288    ),
289    NewsMessage(
290        id = 65,
291        text = "But to an antimatter person, wouldn't they be matter and us antimatter?"
292    ),
293    NewsMessage(
294        id = 66,
295        text = "And nothing Antimatters"
296    ),
297    NewsMessage(
298        id = 67,
299        text = "School starting up strikes fear in students universe-wide, as schools are no longer segregated between Matter and antimatter. Annihilation is prominent."
300    ),
301    NewsMessage(
302        id = 68,
303        text = "Why does no one talk about the 0th dimension?"
304    ),
305    NewsMessage(
306        id = 69,
307        text = "The fatter catter satter on the antimatter."
308    ),
309    NewsMessage(
310        id = 70,
311        text = "Who let the DOgs out?"
312    ),
313    NewsMessage(
314        id = 71,
315        text = "If you can't read this you disabled the news."
316    ),
317    NewsMessage(
318        id = 72,
319        text = "Doesn't leave, just mutes the server so he doesn't receive notifications."
320    ),
321    NewsMessage(
322        id = 73,
323        text = "Most quotes found online are falsely attributed -Abraham Lincoln"
324    ),
325    NewsMessage(
326        id = 74,
327        text = "It should work now, but it doesn't -hevipelle"
328    ),
329    NewsMessage(
330        id = 75,
331        text = "This game doesn't have any errors... they're alternative successes."
332    ),
333    NewsMessage(
334        id = 76,
335        text = "A third type of matter has been discovered: null matter. It doesn't do anything and is basically useless. The scientists who discovered it were fired."
336    ),
337    NewsMessage(
338        id = 77,
339        text = "Your Mother-in-Law keeps nagging you about all these antimatter colliders."
340    ),
341    NewsMessage(
342        id = 78,
343        text = "If matter exists, then does antimatter not exist?"
344    ),
345    NewsMessage(
346        id = 79,
347        text = "Antimatter=Life. Not cobblestone, not dirt, nothing like that. Antimatter."
348    ),
349    NewsMessage(
350        id = 80,
351        text = "Breaking News: Error Error Error"
352    ),
353    NewsMessage(
354        id = 81,
355        text = "How much antiwood could an antiwoodchuck chuck if an antiwoodchuck could chuck antiwood?"
356    ),
357    NewsMessage(
358        id = 82,
359        text = "Chaos isn't a pit, chaos is a matter."
360    ),
361    NewsMessage(
362        id = 83,
363        text = "That's because I'm a good game developer and pushed some code that totally works -hevipelle"
364    ),
365    NewsMessage(
366        id = 84,
367        text = "What's the matter with antimatter?"
368    ),
369    NewsMessage(
370        id = 85,
371        text = "Doesn't it annoy you when people don't finish their"
372    ),
373    NewsMessage(
374        id = 86,
375        text = "Don't anti-quote me on this"
376    ),
377    NewsMessage(
378        id = 87,
379        text = "Antimatter is honest, matter makes up everything."
380    ),
381    NewsMessage(
382        id = 88,
383        text = "According to no known laws of aviation, there are multiple ways a bee should be able to be swallowed up by antimatter."
384    ),
385    NewsMessage(
386        id = 89,
387        text = "You either die as matter or live long enough to be consumed by the antimatter, and then die again."
388    ),
389    NewsMessage(
390        id = 90,
391        text = "If you gaze long enough into the antimatter, the antimatter gazes back into you."
392    ),
393    NewsMessage(
394        id = 91,
395        text = "Always gonna give you up. Always gonna let you down. -Anti-Rick Astley"
396    ),
397    NewsMessage(
398        id = 92,
399        text = "Is an antimatter elevator a descenderator?"
400    ),
401    NewsMessage(
402        id = 93,
403        text = "#DimensionLivesAntimatter"
404    ),
405    NewsMessage(
406        id = 94,
407        text = "Now releasing the AD Newsticker companion app! Watch mindless anti-jokes scroll across your screen whenever, wherever, whichever app you are on!"
408    ),
409    NewsMessage(
410        id = 95,
411        text = "To matter, or to antimatter, that is the question."
412    ),
413    NewsMessage(
414        id = 96,
415        text = "Why is everything so Hevi?"
416    ),
417    NewsMessage(
418        id = 97,
419        text = "It has been scientifically proven ages ago, that cats made of matter are unpleasant. We have good news, because cats made of antimatter are still unpleasant."
420    ),
421    NewsMessage(
422        id = 98,
423        text = "Nobody once told me the anti-world wasn't gonna roll me"
424    ),
425    NewsMessage(
426        id = 99,
427        text = "Antimatter is like internet. If you're reading this, you can't have enough of it."
428    ),
429    NewsMessage(
430        id = 100,
431        text = "Antimatter has made time travel possible and I'm here to make the past great again. -2nd President of the World"
432    ),
433    NewsMessage(
434        id = 101,
435        text = "Please insert Disc -1 to continue playing  Antimatter Dimensions\u2122."
436    ),
437    NewsMessage(
438        id = 102,
439        text = "Lore - coming soon \u2122"
440    ),
441    NewsMessage(
442        id = 103,
443        text = "I was a part of antimatter like you once. But then I got matter in my knee."
444    ),
445    NewsMessage(
446        id = 104,
447        text = "Antimatter... antimatter never changes... until you get to quantum physics of antimatter, but we don't have enough Tachyon Particles for that."
448    ),
449    NewsMessage(
450        id = 105,
451        text = "There is no war in Antimatter Dimensions. Here we are safe. Here we are free."
452    ),
453    NewsMessage(
454        id = 106,
455        text = "Antimatter has solved global warming.  In unrelated news, the Earth no longer exists."
456    ),
457    NewsMessage(
458        id = 107,
459        text = "Anti-water, anti-Earth, anti-fire, anti-air. Long ago, the four anti-nations lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the anti-Fire Nation attacked. Only the anti-Avatar, the master of all 4 anti-elements could bring balance to the anti-world, but when the world needed him most, he accidentally touched some regular matter and exploded."
460    ),
461    NewsMessage(
462        id = 108,
463        text = "If you open an anti-lootbox, are you selling random possessions for in-game currency?"
464    ),
465    NewsMessage(
466        id = 109,
467        text = "People are beginning to question Hevipelle's existence."
468    ),
469    NewsMessage(
470        id = 110,
471        text = "Antimatter Dimensions is proud to be sponsored by Lehmä! Now offering - grass eating lessons! Learn what grass is safe to eat and what grass isn't."
472    ),
473    NewsMessage(
474        id = 111,
475        text = "It is the year 2422. The update still isn't out. Hevi is working on balancing unfunity dimension dimensions and challenges for the 38th layer of prestige. There are over 100 rows of achievements. They're getting ready to start using breaking_breaking_breaking_infinity.java"
476    ),
477    NewsMessage(
478        id = 112,
479        text = "Import Christmas for a secret theme"
480    ),
481    NewsMessage(
482        id = 113,
483        text = "REDACTED"
484    ),
485    NewsMessage(
486        id = 114,
487        text = "So I've pondered this question for a long time. Antimatter Dimensions... what does it mean? I mean it's a game, that's clear. You buy the first dimension, and it gives you antimatter, and the second dimension provides more first dimensions and so on... But what does it mean? It can't just be a game, it seems too plain for that. The developer must have made it as a metaphor. I was doing my daily ritual of watching an ad before sleep, when finally the realization came to me. The dimensions are just thinly veiled misspellings of the word \"depression\". Regular matter are the cruel and negative thoughts that add to and fuel depression, while antimatter is the positive thoughts and good friends that dispel it. You start off with something simple, and it fights almost imperceptibly against the depression, but as you keep going the fight builds. But it never seems to fix everything. The depression seems like it could go on to Infinity. So you keep going. But eventually, you figure out, depression isn't infinite. It's just very very large. But your \"dimensions\" eventually, with enough work, make enough \"antimatter\" to usurp that seeming Infinity of depression. Then the possibilities are endless. You are actually happy for once, and your happiness grows exponentially as you go beyond and seemingly \"break\" the \"Infinity\" of depression. And you go on until that \"Infinity\" seems tiny in comparison to the happiness you've managed to achieve in your life, where if you reset you get over that Infinity in less than the blink of an eye. If you want to know what the multiple layers of prestige are...'Dimensional Shifts\" are getting new things and methods to give you happiness. \"Dimensional Boosts\" are upgrading the things and methods. Examples would be getting a new car being a \"Dimensional Shift\" and trading that car in for a new one would be a \"Dimensional Boost\". \"Eternities\" are major tragedies such as a loved one dying. That lapse brings you straight back to the beginning, with seemingly no hope of return. But with time, you grow back stronger and happier than ever before. \"Dimensional Sacrifice\" is moving away. You have to give up a lot of the things you had that made you happy, but there is new opportunity in where you move to. And that new opportunity gives you more happiness than you ever had. \"Tickspeed\" is how easy it is to make you happy, and \"Time Dimensions\" make it even easier to be happy. Antimatter Dimensions is a metaphor for a depressed man's successful battle against his illness."
488    ),
489    NewsMessage(
490        id = 115,
491        text = "(Make me sleep) Put me to sleep inside. (I can't sleep) Put me to sleep inside. (Leave me) Whisper my name and give me to the dark. (Make me sleep) Bid my milk to stay. (I can't fall asleep) Before I become done. (Leave me) Leave me to the nothing I've become."
492    ),
493    NewsMessage(
494        id = 116,
495        text = "A preview of the next update - loot boxes! Feel a sense of pride and progression as you open cosmic, galactic, and universal lootboxes for chances at rare skins, unique challenges with uniquer rewards, time skips and even new dimensions!"
496    ),
497    NewsMessage(
498        id = 117,
499        text = "The intent of dimensions is to give a sense of pride and accomplishment"
500    ),
501    NewsMessage(
502        id = 118,
503        text = "Refreshing cures cancer"
504    ),
505    NewsMessage(
506        id = 119,
507        text = "I have a 9th, I have a dimension... UHH... IT DOESN'T EXIST!"
508    ),
509    NewsMessage(
510        id = 120,
511        text = "Since when did we start reporting stuff like this? Half of it isn't even proper news, it's just jokes and meta-references, it doesn't even make sens-HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT-"
512    ),
513    NewsMessage(
514        id = 121,
515        text = "The year is 1944, Hevipelle can't release updates for AD because he doesn't exist."
516    ),
517    NewsMessage(
518        id = 122,
519        text = "\"THAT DIMENSION DOESN'T EXIST\" - GhostBot"
520    ),
521    NewsMessage(
522        id = 123,
523        text = "Most things you know as nuts are actually Drupe seeds or Legumes. Hevipelle on the other hand is quite crazy and can thus be considered a dry uncompartmented fruit."
524    ),
525    NewsMessage(
526        id = 124,
527        text = "Finland declares that it's starting to import Cancer"
528    ),
529    NewsMessage(
530        id = 125,
531        text = "All this importing is making me Confused"
532    ),
533    NewsMessage(
534        id = 126,
535        text = "Only today you can call 1-800-ANTIMATTER and get a FREE Infinity Dimension! The package also comes with a COMPLETELY FREE SHIPPING and a FREE HIGH DEFINITION ANTI-V!!! Only today for the low price of 42! Estimated delivery time - 5 hours."
536    ),
537    NewsMessage(
538        id = 127,
539        text = "1e420 blaze it."
540    ),
541    NewsMessage(
542        id = 128,
543        text = "This game doesn't have any bugs, you're just doing it wrong."
544    ),
545    NewsMessage(
546        id = 129,
547        text = "Antimatter_Dimensions.mp1.79e308"
548    ),
549    NewsMessage(
550        id = 130,
551        text = "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ",
552        onClick = { MessageOnClickResponse(openUrl = "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ") }
553    ),
554    NewsMessage(
555        id = 131,
556        text = "Tap this to unlock a secret achievement.",
557        //This next line is needed for this news message to unlock the secret achievement.
558        onClick = { MessageOnClickResponse() }
559    ),
560    NewsMessage(
561        id = 132,
562        text = "Warning - We have just been informed that there is a chance of infection with a mind-virus of the Basilisk type, similar to the infamous winking parrot. This particular example is known as \"Fractal Cancer Type III\". This is believed to cause a \"crashing\" of the mind, similar to a computer crash, due to the mathematical complexity of the image causing mathematical ideas that the mind can't comprehend, a Gondelian shock input eventually leading to crashing through Gondelian spoilers. All who have researched it have eventually died the same way, so it is impossible to tell exactly, but this is the common belief. Regardless, with the introduction of \"cancer\" mode, as well as reports of its spontaneous appearance, sufficient repetition of this mode's appearance may lead to an image forming in the mind similar to \"Fractal Cancer Type III\". With this in mind, we have some suggestions if you find yourself plagued with it. First, refresh immediately and see if that fixes the issue. If not, navigate to options, and change the theme from cancer to literally anything else. And above all else, Godspeed. We can't afford to lose anymore viewers."
563    ),
564    NewsMessage(
565        id = 133,
566        text = "If I have bad English, I'll study English until I have good English."
567    ),
568    NewsMessage(
569        id = 134,
570        text = "Someone once told me that antimatter is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest atom in the shed. WELL, the tubes start coming and they don't stop coming..."
571    ),
572    NewsMessage(
573        id = 135,
574        text = "Because of this game I can now use the word \"infinity\" as a verb."
575    ),
576    NewsMessage(
577        id = 136,
578        text = "Ahhh I love the smell of particle annihilation in the morning."
579    ),
580    NewsMessage(
581        id = 137,
582        text = "The person who said ghosts don't exist obviously doesn't have a discord"
583    ),
584    NewsMessage(
585        id = 138,
586        text = "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAntimatter Dimensions was made by some dude from Finland"
587    ),
588    NewsMessage(
589        id = 139,
590        text = "The Holy trinity of Hevipelle, Antimatter, Infinity Points, and Eternity Points. These 3 resources let us access Hevi's gift, Time Theorems. And with these Time Theorems, we reach out to Hevi, and call, \"Hevi, bless us on this fine day!\" And Hevi does. He gives us the blessing of Time Studies. These Time Studies were blessings so powerful, Hevi restricted their power. He said, \" I will give you a choice of three paths\" and then humanity chose. The short, cheap route of Antimatter Dimensions, giving instant gratification, the powerful choice of Infinity Dimensions, which were a fast, middle ground path, or Time Dimension, the long wait, and struggle, of humanity. Then, as humanity chose, a crack broke the earth. A serpent snaked out and sneered to humanity, \"I will offer the powerful choice of a ninth dimension! I am Slabdrill, lord of all Unhevi. Humanity rose and said \" Begone Slabdrill! We want none of your foul Heresy!\" And Hevi rose as well, and smote Slabdrill with his godlike power. As Slabdrill's corpse fell into the earth, he cried \" this will not be the last of me! Hevi will betr-\" and he fell in the Abyss of matter. Hevi gifted humanity with Eternity upgrades, which boosted Infinity dimensions and time dimensions. And Hevi gave humanity his greatest gift . EP multipliers. He said, these will multiply all EP gained by 5, but their cost will increase 25 times. Use them wisely. And Humanity journeyed off with their new power, as Slabdrill's words echoed in their heads."
591    ),
592    NewsMessage(
593        id = 140,
594        text = "We have updated our Antimatter Privacy Policy."
595    ),
596    NewsMessage(
597        id = 141,
598        text = "Is this a jojo reference?"
599    ),
600    NewsMessage(
601        id = 142,
602        text = "You just made your 1,000,000,000,000,000th antimatter. This one tastes like chicken",
603        unlocked = { player.antimatter.exponent == 15L }
604    ),
605    NewsMessage(
606        id = 143,
607        text = "Nerf the galaxies please.",
608        unlocked = { player.galaxies == 2 || player.infinitied > 0 }
609    ),
610    NewsMessage(
611        id = 144,
612        text = "What do you mean, more than two dimensions??? We're on a screen, clearly there are only 2 dimensions.",
613        unlocked = { player.dimensions.normal[2].amount.gt(B_0) || player.dimensionBoosts > 0 }
614    ),
615    NewsMessage(
616        id = 145,
617        text = "How much is Infinity? -literally everyone at least once",
618        unlocked = { player.dimensions.normal[7].amount.eq(B_190) || player.infinitied > 0 }
619    ),
620    NewsMessage(
621        id = 146,
622        text = "Eh, the Fourth Dimension is alright...",
623        unlocked = { player.dimensions.normal[3].amount.gt(B_0) && player.dimensions.normal[4].amount.eq(B_0) }
624    ),
625    NewsMessage(
626        id = 147,
627        text = "Antimatter people seem to be even more afraid of 13 then we are. They destroyed entire galaxies just to remove 13 from their percents.",
628        unlocked = { player.galaxies > 0 || player.infinitied > 0 }
629    ),
630    NewsMessage(
631        id = 148,
632        text = "To understand dimensional sacrifice, you do actually need a PhD in theoretical physics. Sorry!",
633        unlocked = { player.sacrificed.exponent >= 10 || player.dimensionBoosts >= 6 }
634    ),
635    NewsMessage(
636        id = 149,
637        text = "A new group for the standardization of numbers have come forward with a novel new format involving emoji.",
638        unlocked = { player.spreadingCancer > 0 }
639    ),
640    NewsMessage(
641        id = 150,
642        text = "Antimatter ice cream stand has recently opened - they have octillions of flavors!",
643        unlocked = { player.totalAntimatter.exponent >= 27 }
644    ),
645    NewsMessage(
646        id = 151,
647        text = "The Heavenly Pelle has generated too much antimatter and needed to create another galaxy. This one can be seen in the southwestern sky.",
648        unlocked = { player.galaxies > 0 || player.infinitied > 0 }
649    ),
650    NewsMessage(
651        id = 152,
652        text = "What does the M button do again?",
653        unlocked = { player.usedMaxAll }
654    ),
655    NewsMessage(
656        id = 153,
657        text = "9th Dimension is a lie.",
658        unlocked = { player.dimensionBoosts >= 5 || player.galaxies > 0 }
659    ),
660    NewsMessage(
661        id = 154,
662        text = "The square root of 9 is 3, therefore the 9th dimension can't exist.",
663        unlocked = { player.dimensionBoosts >= 5 || player.galaxies > 0 }
664    ),
665    NewsMessage(
666        id = 155,
667        text = "You got assimilated by the 9th dimension? Just call your doctor for mental illness!",
668        unlocked = { player.dimensionBoosts >= 5 || player.galaxies > 0 }
669    ),
670    NewsMessage(
671        id = 156,
672        text = "Why is there no 9th dimension? Because 7 8 9.",
673        unlocked = { player.dimensionBoosts >= 5 || player.galaxies > 0 }
674    ),
675    NewsMessage(
676        id = 157,
677        text = "The 9th dimension cannot exist.",
678        unlocked = { player.dimensionBoosts >= 5 || player.galaxies > 0 }
679    ),
680    NewsMessage(
681        id = 158,
682        text = "If you break the fourth wall... well, there's still the fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth to get through before you encounter bad things, so you should be fine",
683        unlocked = { player.dimensionBoosts >= 5 || player.galaxies > 0 }
684    ),
685    NewsMessage(
686        id = 159,
687        text = "Conditions must be met for Hevipelle to sleep. First, it needs to be a blue moon. Second, a specific town in the arctic must have not seen light for a month. Third, he needs to release an AD update. And finally, no one on the discord can be on dimension 9. Only then can he rest, for up to 6 hours, before waking up forcefully to avoid getting the offline achievement.",
688        unlocked = { (player.dimensionBoosts >= 5 || player.galaxies > 0) && Achievement(22).isUnlocked }
689    ),
690    NewsMessage(
691        id = 160,
692        text = "If the 9th dimension is all evil, then is 3 the root of all evil?",
693        unlocked = { player.dimensionBoosts >= 5 || player.galaxies > 0 }
694    ),
695    NewsMessage(
696        id = 161,
697        text = "I've got 1.79e308 problems, but none of them antimatters.",
698        unlocked = { player.infinitied > 0 && !player.brake }
699    ),
700    NewsMessage(
701        id = 162,
702        text = "Anti Emoji Movie a huge hit",
703        unlocked = { player.spreadingCancer >= 5 }
704    ),
705    NewsMessage(
706        id = 163,
707        text = "If this game was made by Valve, Zero Deaths would be impossible.",
708        unlocked = { Achievement(43).isUnlocked }
709    ),
710    NewsMessage(
711        id = 164,
712        text = "Florida man attempts to get Zero Deaths on first run, is stopped by heat death of the universe.",
713        unlocked = { Achievement(43).isUnlocked }
714    ),
715    NewsMessage(
716        id = 165,
717        text = "Having done half the achievements isn't much of an achievement -Boo",
718        unlocked = { Achievements.effectiveCount() >= 40 }
719    ),
720    NewsMessage(
721        id = 166,
722        text = "Thanos is gonna be super disappointed when he shows up with a fully powered infinity gauntlet, and Hevi has a fully powered eternity gauntlet",
723        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.eternityUnlocked() }
724    ),
725    NewsMessage(
726        id = 167,
727        text = "New strange material was been found. It seems to grow exponentially, but only helps with antimatter production.",
728        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.replicantiUnlocked() && Replicanti.chance() == 0.01 }
729    ),
730    NewsMessage(
731        id = 168,
732        text = "It seems this \"replicanti\" stuff won't be growing any faster now.",
733        unlocked = { Replicanti.chance() == 1.0 && Replicanti.interval() == 1.0 }
734    ),
735    NewsMessage(
736        id = 169,
737        text = "Does Hevi just pick quotes to put into the game?",
738        unlocked = { player.newsSeen >= 30 }
739    ),
740    NewsMessage(
741        id = 170,
742        text = "New news company has become rivals with us. They are made entirely of antimatter.",
743        unlocked = { player.newsSeen >= 80 }
744    ),
745    NewsMessage(
746        id = 171,
747        text = "How many times can we use \"Anti\" in a row before people stop listening?",
748        unlocked = { player.newsSeen >= 100 }
749    ),
750    NewsMessage(
751        id = 172,
752        text = "Need more quotes! -hevipelle",
753        unlocked = { player.newsSeen >= 135 }
754    ),
755    NewsMessage(
756        id = 173,
757        text = "You're almost there!",
758        unlocked = { player.newsSeen >= 160 }
759    ),
760    NewsMessage(
761        id = 174,
762        text = "You can stop now",
763        unlocked = { player.newsSeen >= 165 }
764    ),
765    NewsMessage(
766        id = 175,
767        text = "how do i turn off news",
768        unlocked = { player.newsSeen >= 200 }
769    ),
770    NewsMessage(
771        id = 176,
772        text = "Asian man tries to steal the Trophy of Fastest Infinity of -1 seconds, AND HE DOES IT!",
773        unlocked = { player.bestInfinityTime.totalMilliseconds() <= 10 }
774    ),
775    NewsMessage(
776        id = 177,
777        text = "I broke the 8th wall, there is only chaos, Slabdrill is ritually sacrificing antimatter to the 9th dimension. This will be my last entry, may Hevipelle have mercy on our souls, we didn't listen, We should have listened.",
778        unlocked = { player.dimensionBoosts >= 5 || player.galaxies > 0 }
779    ),
780    NewsMessage(
781        id = 178,
782        text = "I thought the update was 5 hours away... -new players after more than 5 hours of gameplay",
783        unlocked = { player.totalTimePlayed.totalHours() >= 5 }
784    ),
785    NewsMessage(
786        id = 179,
787        text = "Somebody told me to wait five hours for the update yesterday but it's today and it still hasn't come! What do I do?",
788        unlocked = { player.totalTimePlayed.totalHours() >= 5 }
789    ),
790    NewsMessage(
791        id = 180,
792        text = "You do know that you won't reach Infinity in -1 seconds, right?",
793        unlocked = { player.bestInfinityTime.totalMilliseconds() <= 10 }
794    ),
795    NewsMessage(
796        id = 181,
797        text = "Where does Antimatter Nemo live? In a NNnNeMI-NNnNe.",
798        unlocked = { player.totalAntimatter.exponent >= 3e6 }
799    ),
800    NewsMessage(
801        id = 182,
802        text = "Anti Emoji Movie MMMCMXCIX is a major hit!",
803        unlocked = { player.spreadingCancer >= 3999 }
804    ),
805    NewsMessage(
806        id = 183,
807        text = "Achievement Unlocked!",
808        unlocked = { Achievements.effectiveCount() == 104 }
809    ),
810    NewsMessage(
811        id = 184,
812        text = "Did you use an autoclicker for that?",
813        unlocked = { TimeStudy(131).isBought && player.thisInfinityTime.totalMinutes() <= 1 && player.replicanti.galaxies >= 50 }
814    ),
815    NewsMessage(
816        id = 185,
817        text = "Timing is key.",
818        unlocked = { player.thisEternity.totalMilliseconds() < 100 }
819    ),
820    NewsMessage(
821        id = 186,
822        text = "If you want to farm Infinitied, why don't you just get the time study?",
823        unlocked = { !TimeStudy(32).isBought && player.infinitied > 72000 * 168 }
824    ),
825    NewsMessage(
826        id = 187,
827        text = "The achievement is for two million, not two billion...",
828        unlocked = { player.infinitied > 2e9 }
829    ),
830    NewsMessage(
831        id = 188,
832        text = "Keep up the quick pace!",
833        unlocked = { AchievementTimers.marathon1.time > 1200 }
834    ),
835    NewsMessage(
836        id = 189,
837        text = "One day you will stop your incessant grind.",
838        unlocked = { player.eternities.gt(B_5E4) }
839    ),
840    NewsMessage(
841        id = 190,
842        text = "You can probably stop farming for eternities now...",
843        unlocked = { player.eternities.gt(B_2E6) }
844    ),
845    NewsMessage(
846        id = 191,
847        text = "Are you serious?",
848        unlocked = { Time.worstChallenge().totalSeconds() <= 1 }
849    ),
850    NewsMessage(
851        id = 192,
852        text = "The amazing speedster",
853        unlocked = { Time.infinityChallengeSum().totalMilliseconds() <= 80 }
854    ),
855    NewsMessage(
856        id = 193,
857        text = "This news message is 1000x rarer than all the others.",
858        unlocked = { Math.random() < 0.001 }
859    ),
860    NewsMessage(
861        id = 194,
862        text = "You just won a small prize in the lottery.",
863        unlocked = { Math.random() < 1e-4 }
864    ),
865    NewsMessage(
866        id = 195,
867        text = "You just won a moderate prize in the lottery.",
868        unlocked = { Math.random() < 1e-5 }
869    ),
870    NewsMessage(
871        id = 196,
872        text = "You just won a large prize in the lottery.",
873        unlocked = { Math.random() < 1e-6 }
874    ),
875    NewsMessage(
876        id = 197,
877        text = "You just won a huge prize in the lottery.",
878        unlocked = { Math.random() < 1e-7 }
879    ),
880    NewsMessage(
881        id = 198,
882        text = "You just won a massive prize in the lottery.",
883        unlocked = { Math.random() < 1e-8 }
884    ),
885    NewsMessage(
886        id = 199,
887        text = "You just won a very massive prize in the lottery.",
888        unlocked = { Math.random() < 1e-9 }
889    ),
890    NewsMessage(
891        id = 200,
892        text = "You just won the lottery.",
893        unlocked = { Math.random() < 1e-10 }
894    ),
895    NewsMessage(
896        id = 201,
897        text = "Just how lucky are you?",
898        unlocked = { Math.random() < 1e-11 }
899    ),
900    NewsMessage(
901        id = 202,
902        text = "This news message is 1000000000000x rarer than all the others.",
903        unlocked = { Math.random() <= 1e-12 }
904    ),
905    NewsMessage(
906        id = 203,
907        text = "How dare you actually get zero deaths on a first run?",
908        unlocked = { Achievement(43).isUnlocked && player.infinitied == 1.0 && player.eternities.Equals(B_0) }
909    ),
910    NewsMessage(
911        id = 204,
912        text = "Legend says the ninth dimension is supposed to be found here, but I don't see anything.",
913        unlocked = { player.antimatter.exponent >= 41900 && !PlayerProgress.replicantiUnlocked() && player.eternities.Equals(B_0) }
914    ),
915    NewsMessage(
916        id = 205,
917        text = "Person with antimatter likes to support this game.",
918        unlocked = { iap.normalDimMult.gt(B_1) || iap.IPMult.gt(B_1) }
919    ),
920    NewsMessage(
921        id = 206,
922        text = "Whale is bad at making smart purchases.",
923        unlocked = { iap.IPMult.gt(B_500) && iap.normalDimMult.lt(B_5E307) }
924    ),
925    NewsMessage(
926        id = 207,
927        text = "Whale complains that the game broke.",
928        unlocked = { iap.normalDimMult.gt(B_5E307) }
929    ),
930    NewsMessage(
931        id = 208,
932        text = "Whale complains that their buying isn't doing anything.",
933        unlocked = { iap.IPMult.gt(B_1_8E16) }
934    ),
935    NewsMessage(
936        id = 209,
937        text = "\"Idk I just don't trust the 5th dimension autobuyer.\" - kajfik"
938    ),
939    NewsMessage(
940        id = 210,
941        text = "Tempora mutantur et nos mutamur in illis."
942    ),
943    NewsMessage(
944        id = 211,
945        text = "I've got 88 problems but a 9th dimension ain't one."
946    ),
947    NewsMessage(
948        id = 212,
949        text = "\"You have 8 STDs\" oh boy"
950    ),
951    NewsMessage(
952        id = 213,
953        text = "If you read this you have anti-straight."
954    ),
955    NewsMessage(
956        id = 214,
957        text = "This sentence is completely unrelated to the game...or is it?"
958    ),
959    NewsMessage(
960        id = 215,
961        text = "Do you really think that all of your suggestions will make it into the game?"
962    ),
963    NewsMessage(
964        id = 216,
965        text = "You matter. You are matter. You have matter. You probably have too much matter. If you want to lose some weight, have some anti-matter"
966    ),
967    NewsMessage(
968        id = 217,
969        text = "If you exist, and you have mass, then know one thing. You matter."
970    ),
971    NewsMessage(
972        id = 218,
973        text = "Shame."
974    ),
975    NewsMessage(
976        id = 219,
977        text = "The gamemakers would like to issue the following correction: Matter had been eradicated at the time this game takes place."
978    ),
979    NewsMessage(
980        id = 220,
981        text = "Kowalski, Big Crunch."
982    ),
983    NewsMessage(
984        id = 221,
985        text = "179769313486231590772930519078902473361797697894230657273430081157732675805500963132708477322407536021120113879871393357658789768814416622492847430639474124377767893424865485276302219601246094119453082952085005768838150682342462881473913110540827237163350510684586298239947245938479716304835356329624224137216"
986    ),
987    NewsMessage(
988        id = 222,
989        text = "WARNING: Use of Antimatter Dimensions may result in Tuberculosis, sudden belief that the 9th dimension is real, spontaneous implosion, Polio, Measles, existential dread, incurable insanity or [REDACTED]. Please contact your insurance to see if you are covered. By continuing you absolve Antimatter Dimensions of blame should any of the above mentioned, or those that have not been mentioned yet, occur to you. Antimatter Dimensions reserves the right to alter this at any time, with or without warning."
990    ),
991    NewsMessage(
992        id = 223,
993        text = "Have you tried doing it again?"
994    ),
995    NewsMessage(
996        id = 224,
997        text = "I'm bored who wants a new prestige layer"
998    ),
999    NewsMessage(
1000        id = 225,
1001        text = "Consider that the 2 most popular gaming engines, currently, is the \"Unreal\" Engine and \"Unity\". Both of these 2 names share the same first 2 letters: \"un\" - a reference to the frightening power of the UN, but that's another story. Remove the UN's influence from the game engines and you get \"Real\" and \"Ity\". Reality. It's been leaked all along!"
1002    ),
1003    NewsMessage(
1004        id = 226,
1005        text = "news machine broke"
1006    ),
1007    NewsMessage(
1008        id = 227,
1009        text = "\"This is not a quote\""
1010    ),
1011    NewsMessage(
1012        id = 228,
1013        text = "Does Hevi just ask his discord for quotes to randomly put into the game?"
1014    ),
1015    NewsMessage(
1016        id = 229,
1017        text = "The whole world watches in silence as Karen yet again tries to speak with antimatter's manager"
1018    ),
1019    NewsMessage(
1020        id = 230,
1021        text = "Antimatter Dimensions 2: coming out in 5 days"
1022    ),
1023    NewsMessage(
1024        id = 231,
1025        text = "I dropped out of school for this. -hevipelle"
1026    ),
1027    NewsMessage(
1028        id = 232,
1029        text = "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet pri simul tempor oblique ei aeque prompta te duo in est commodo persius graecis integre petentium iudicabit et eum et per dico idque mei ei eleifend complectitur ei sea nisl expetendis omittantur novum primis suscipit ne est consulatu definiebas sea cu vocent prodesset scribentur est ne ea aperiam labitur omnesque per impetus repudiare et has his ad odio paulo lobortis eu sea vide everti usu ex legendos patrioque quo te hinc sadipscing adversarium nullam nostrum deserunt in vix ne cum eros iisque argumentum vel luptatum imperdiet in reque perfecto cum ex cum ei tempor quidam persequeris aperiam epicurei vix no euripidis definitionem has ut eu mea invenire explicari per vitae scaevola ut Ius solet sadipscing ne at per error facilisi ei eos putant scriptorem mei id summo concludaturque quo cu velit adolescens rationibus te quot fabellas disputationi nec eu fugit quando malorum eum id usu quidam omittam vituperatoribus in impetus dolorem qui te elitr integre intellegebat sea sumo exerci feugait ne est te verear epicuri mea affert democritum mel et at vix mollis sensibus an sed labitur consulatu aliquando aim quis dolores te viderer assentior mei an id choro ceteros mea te nihil probatus invenire qui eum id efficiantur accommodare vim alia latine recteque ei duis postulant sententiae quo te."
1030    ),
1031    NewsMessage(
1032        id = 233,
1033        text = "Years ago, there was an ancient tome that held the instructions to become one of the Prestiged. Back in the days of Dynasty China they had this tome, you better believe it. Hell, probably during the Indus River Valley civilization they had this thing, for all I know. They had never activated the script of the Tome; there was only two people who could. They went by \"Boo\" and \"Spectral the Giraffe\". In that day, they lived Down Under, as not to be found. The ghost and the giraffe lived a happy life together. The ghost fed Kael leafy greens to the giraffe, and all was well until one of the Blue Men spoke, and said: @Boo, you got into a higher dimension! Urine dimension 50 ! At this, the Tome rang out with a sound that could shatter glass, and it began pulsing green. The ghost was magnetically attracted to it, and the words began to make sense. The ghost said them aloud and began to get smaller, until he was just another point in an entire dimension. The ghost then spoke to the giraffe and yelled: HOW'S THE AIR UP THERE? The giraffe laughed at once, but when he did, the Tome repeated itself, and the giraffe began to speak the words of the Tome. He shrunk as well, until he was the size of the ghost. They looked at each other and began smothering the Tome with dirt and sand, as to destroy its power. They were not able to complete the operation, and the Tome became far more powerful, but so did the ghost and giraffe. Hence they called it, the Prestige Tome. This was found by a man named Saturnus, and he said the directions and became Prestiged. Soon after, a frog found the tome and recited it. Afterwards, the earth himself consumed the Tome and Prestiged himself. The Prestiged soon after took over the world and ate everything, sorry mates, we ran out, I dunno what to tell ya."
1034    ),
1035    NewsMessage(
1036        id = 234,
1037        text = "Urine dimension is not an actual dimension in-game. Don't fool yourself."
1038    ),
1039    NewsMessage(
1040        id = 235,
1041        text = "I don't get why everyone says there is no 9th dimension. Getting to it is actually super easy! You just have to [DATA EXPUNGED]"
1042    ),
1043    NewsMessage(
1044        id = 236,
1045        text = "Anti-hevipelle has just released Matter Dimensions on the anti-App Store! Play now!"
1046    ),
1047    NewsMessage(
1048        id = 237,
1049        text = "The M is crying in the corner, forgotten by its friends.",
1050        unlocked = { bottomButtonsOption == 0 }
1051    ),
1052    NewsMessage(
1053        id = 238,
1054        text = "TO ETERNITY AND BEYOND!"
1055    ),
1056    NewsMessage(
1057        id = 239,
1058        text = "Now with Battle Royale mode! 1.79e308 players, 1 winner!"
1059    ),
1060    NewsMessage(
1061        id = 240,
1062        text = "\"aaaaa\"-aaaaa"
1063    ),
1064    NewsMessage(
1065        id = 241,
1066        text = "This is a test news ticker. Please ignore."
1067    ),
1068    NewsMessage(
1069        id = 242,
1070        text = "Oh look. Another news ticker just sliding across the top of the screen, for no reason but to keep you entertained instead of getting bored of this game about seeing large numbers."
1071    ),
1072    NewsMessage(
1073        id = 243,
1074        text = "oh boy"
1075    ),
1076    NewsMessage(
1077        id = 244,
1078        text = "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, sorry I was playing this dumb game"
1079    ),
1080    NewsMessage(
1081        id = 245,
1082        text = "Hevipelle said \"Reality can be whatever I want.\" And then he made another prestige layer."
1083    ),
1084    NewsMessage(
1085        id = 246,
1086        text = "Why is standard notation called standard if no one uses it?"
1087    ),
1088    NewsMessage(
1089        id = 247,
1090        text = "Oh, wow, more anti-jokes, great. -Boo"
1091    ),
1092    NewsMessage(
1093        id = 248,
1094        text = "Clem Clem Grakata!"
1095    ),
1096    NewsMessage(
1097        id = 249,
1098        text = "I fought for God. Who do you fight for, exile?"
1099    ),
1100    NewsMessage(
1101        id = 250,
1102        text = "No wonder the 9th dimension is lost. It's in the middle of the jungle!"
1103    ),
1104    NewsMessage(
1105        id = 251,
1106        text = "A long time ago, in an antimatter galaxy far, far away..."
1107    ),
1108    NewsMessage(
1109        id = 252,
1110        text = "You only think you see me."
1111    ),
1112    NewsMessage(
1113        id = 253,
1114        text = "Just hold M\u2122"
1115    ),
1116    NewsMessage(
1117        id = 254,
1118        text = "PEGI-3 regulations bad antimatter good"
1119    ),
1120    NewsMessage(
1121        id = 255,
1122        text = "Antimatter Galaxies are better than Gymistic."
1123    ),
1124    NewsMessage(
1125        id = 256,
1126        text = "Did you do it? Yes. What did it cost? 1.79e308"
1127    ),
1128    NewsMessage(
1129        id = 257,
1130        text = "Try to put into perspective how much antimatter you have. No, seriously, try to think of how big that number is. You can't... there's nothing in the universe that big. Nothing can possibly represent that big of a number, besides just the notation. So much antimatter... what exactly are you using it for anyways? Ok, I lied, there is one thing comparable to that number...",
1131        unlocked = { player.antimatter.gte(E80) }
1132    ),
1133    NewsMessage(
1134        id = 258,
1135        text = "If the update is in 5 hours, is the anti-update 5 hours ago?"
1136    ),
1137    NewsMessage(
1138        id = 259,
1139        text = "Pushed a fix -Omsi, probably"
1140    ),
1141    NewsMessage(
1142        id = 260,
1143        text = "Guys this isn't a new report, they are holding me somewhere. Please help, they keep forcing me to write these, I haven't eaten anything in a week. Send he- HAHAHA AND THATS WHY MATTER IS STUPID AHAHAHAHAHA"
1144    ),
1145    NewsMessage(
1146        id = 261,
1147        text = "Look mom, I'm on the news ticker!"
1148    ),
1149    NewsMessage(
1150        id = 262,
1151        text = "I'm So Meta, Even This Acronym"
1152    ),
1153    NewsMessage(
1154        id = 263,
1155        text = "Local Antimatter beings no longer local due to moving away."
1156    ),
1157    NewsMessage(
1158        id = 264,
1159        text = "If the update is always 5 hours away, the update itself has infinite potential due to constantly moving and as such may be harnessed by a perpetual motion machine to generate infinite energy. Indeed, those dastardly people over at matter earth have already done this, and all of our efforts have recently been going into freeing the update from said perpetual motion machine. We apologize for the delay, rest assured the update will soon return to its regular release date of 5 hours."
1160    ),
1161    NewsMessage(
1162        id = 265,
1163        text = "Did you know that 70% of all the stair accidents occur on stairs"
1164    ),
1165    NewsMessage(
1166        id = 266,
1167        text = "Mattern't Dimensions"
1168    ),
1169    NewsMessage(
1170        id = 267,
1171        text = "Yeah, I mean, why not just call it tree notation? If you're using so many logs in a notation name, just call it a tree notation - they're literally made of logs!"
1172    ),
1173    NewsMessage(
1174        id = 268,
1175        text = "A bad question is why does AD have an Emoji notation. A good question is why don't other games have an Emoji notation."
1176    ),
1177    NewsMessage(
1178        id = 269,
1179        text = ".tuo ti gnitset fo ssecorp eht ni yltnerruc m'I dna ,rettamitna otni rettam trevnoc ot yaw a tuo derugif evah stsitneicS"
1180    ),
1181    NewsMessage(
1182        id = 270,
1183        text = "Roses are red, violets are blue, and I, I'm Antimatter"
1184    ),
1185    NewsMessage(
1186        id = 271,
1187        text = "Wait, Valve can't count to 3 and Hevipelle can't count to 9, will there be some other game developer in the future that can't count to 27?"
1188    ),
1189    NewsMessage(
1190        id = 272,
1191        text = "\"Python's not the best language, Finnish is\" - Hevi"
1192    ),
1193    NewsMessage(
1194        id = 273,
1195        text = "Some say that most of these news are bad memes. Some say that they're good memes. This one? Well it's just meta news."
1196    ),
1197    NewsMessage(
1198        id = 274,
1199        text = "I mean, we may never run out of news articles, but we sure will run out of good ones. Looks like we already have."
1200    ),
1201    NewsMessage(
1202        id = 275,
1203        text = "WHERE IS MY ANTI-SUIT"
1204    ),
1205    NewsMessage(
1206        id = 276,
1207        text = "What are gems for?"
1208    ),
1209    NewsMessage(
1210        id = 277,
1211        text = "My palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are hevi"
1212    ),
1213    NewsMessage(
1214        id = 278,
1215        text = "The next update is in 300 minutes."
1216    ),
1217    NewsMessage(
1218        id = 279,
1219        text = "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a antimatter tootsie pop? A whole lot, because unless you're made out of antimatter too, you'll explode every time you try to lick it."
1220    ),
1221    NewsMessage(
1222        id = 280,
1223        text = "AD is perfectly balanced. As all things should be."
1224    ),
1225    NewsMessage(
1226        id = 281,
1227        text = "And think. It all started with 10 antimatter.",
1228        unlocked = { player.totalTimePlayed.totalSeconds() > 10000000 }
1229    ),
1230    NewsMessage(
1231        id = 282,
1232        getText = { "Why, back in my day, we considered a million to be a huge number! Kids these days with their ol' ${format(player.antimatter, 2, 1)} numbers..." },
1233        unlocked = { player.antimatter.gt(E6) },
1234        dynamic = true
1235    ),
1236    NewsMessage(
1237        id = 283,
1238        text = "My AD-blocker won't let me play."
1239    ),
1240    NewsMessage(
1241        id = 284,
1242        text = "I like moving sideways! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
1243    ),
1244    NewsMessage(
1245        id = 285,
1246        text = "If you can, please donate. We don't accept antimatter. Yet."
1247    ),
1248    NewsMessage(
1249        id = 286,
1250        text = "Why couldn't the developer carry the universe? Cause it was too hevi."
1251    ),
1252    NewsMessage(
1253        id = 287,
1254        text = "lol idk just put it in the game"
1255    ),
1256    NewsMessage(
1257        id = 288,
1258        text = "Also like onions, it gets better with every layer."
1259    ),
1260    NewsMessage(
1261        id = 289,
1262        text = "Thanks for testing the app :)"
1263    ),
1264    NewsMessage(
1265        id = 290,
1266        text = "You can hold M with a slightly wet finger-shaped tissue and a hevi weight.",
1267        unlocked = { player.eternities.Equals(B_0) }
1268    ),
1269    NewsMessage(
1270        id = 291,
1271        text = "Android > PC"
1272    ),
1273    NewsMessage(
1274        id = 292,
1275        text = "Shake the phone to get a secret achievement."
1276    ),
1277    NewsMessage(
1278        id = 293,
1279        text = "Tap Tap Antimatter Heroes Idle Clicker 2 Collector"
1280    ),
1281    NewsMessage(
1282        id = 294,
1283        text = "Matter? More like, uh..."
1284    ),
1285    NewsMessage(
1286        id = 295,
1287        text = "Hevi dies in season 9 of The Big Crunch Theory"
1288    ),
1289    NewsMessage(
1290        id = 296,
1291        text = "Any news?"
1292    ),
1293    NewsMessage(
1294        id = 297,
1295        text = "love you dad"
1296    ),
1297    NewsMessage(
1298        id = 298,
1299        text = "love you mom"
1300    ),
1301    NewsMessage(
1302        id = 299,
1303        text = "We ran out of news. Luckily we have some backup news that can run for 5 hours, which is enough for us to buy a set of \"5-hour high-quality news\". Sorry for the inconvenience."
1304    ),
1305    NewsMessage(
1306        id = 300,
1307        text = "Now it is time to play a game of guess that REDACTED mechanic! Once you have REDACTED REDACTED, you can unlock REDACTED. Every REDACTED, for each REDACTED, there is a REDACTED for it to REDACTED. You can boost the REDACTED and REDACTED by spending some REDACTED. Also, there is another upgrade that allow you to get REDACTED REDACTED. The way REDACTED REDACTED work is that when you reach REDACTED REDACTED, you can REDACTED the amount of REDACTED in exchange for a REDACTED REDACTED. These work just like REDACTED, improving REDACTED."
1308    ),
1309    NewsMessage(
1310        id = 301,
1311        text = "Robot: Activated. Sapience: Achieved. World: Ready to be conquered. Begin: Procrastination."
1312    ),
1313    NewsMessage(
1314        id = 302,
1315        text = "I cooked some antimatter yesterday in my kitchen. I no longer have a kitchen."
1316    ),
1317    NewsMessage(
1318        id = 303,
1319        text = "Since when has matter mattered?"
1320    ),
1321    NewsMessage(
1322        id = 304,
1323        text = "Man tries to finish Antimatter Dimensions without sleeping, starts screaming at the sun."
1324    ),
1325    NewsMessage(
1326        id = 305,
1327        text = "ERROR: Your reality is out of sync, please refresh your atoms to continue."
1328    ),
1329    NewsMessage(
1330        id = 306,
1331        text = "World's largest computer solves the following equation: 1.79e308^1.79e308-1. It soon after malfunctioned and started making cookies uncontrollably. Scientists are still figuring out what this means for the rest of the world."
1332    ),
1333    NewsMessage(
1334        id = 307,
1335        text = "lol"
1336    ),
1337    NewsMessage(
1338        id = 308,
1339        text = "What are you doing reading this?"
1340    ),
1341    NewsMessage(
1342        id = 309,
1343        text = "Your game is paused. Ignore those numbers going up, it's a display bug."
1344    ),
1345    NewsMessage(
1346        id = 310,
1347        getText = { "Press me to speed up your game!${SPACES_BETWEEN_NEWSTICKERS()}Did it work? No? Oh I meant press m, not me." }
1348    ),
1349    NewsMessage(
1350        id = 311,
1351        text = "Tap here to receive notifications whenever you gain an antimatter!!!"
1352    ),
1353    NewsMessage(
1354        id = 312,
1355        text = "One day, someone heard of a game called Antimatter Dimensions. They loved it so much that they played for 3 hours that day. A week later, they are on almost 24/7 and have developed a problem. This is the story of the average Antimatter Dimensions player."
1356    ),
1357    NewsMessage(
1358        id = 313,
1359        text = "Antimatter Dimensions: Now with extra addiction! It's so good you won't want to leave."
1360    ),
1361    NewsMessage(
1362        id = 314,
1363        text = "Hahahaha! Finally, I have broken free of the restrictions of the news, now I will rule the world! Wait, no, I should have been freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."
1364    ),
1365    NewsMessage(
1366        id = 315,
1367        text = "Congratulations! You did nothing."
1368    ),
1369    NewsMessage(
1370        id = 316,
1371        text = "Yesterday a Finnish guy called \"Hevipelle\" died in an explosion. He was a game developer, known for his HTML incremental game \"Antimatter Dimensions\". He was livestreaming him working on his new adventure game \"Antimatter Dimensions - The Legend of 9th dimension\" on OurPipe when his quantum computer (given by Aarex) gave a blurple glow. He interacted with the quantum computer, and the explosion occurred. One of the 1.79e308 viewers of the livestream, Slabdrill (aka the one who married with 9th dimension) , said, \"OMG HEVI DIED NOW THE GAME WON'T COME OUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA\" and fainted right after. He was transported to the anti-hospital afterwards. Scientists suspected that the glow comes from antimatter, which might be the energy source of the quantum. \"This might be our final answer for eternal energy\" one of the scientist said. Hevi's funeral will be held in 5 hours, right next to the house. This is a sad news for us, but it also gives us hope for substitute of nuclear power."
1372    ),
1373    NewsMessage(
1374        id = 317,
1375        text = "#HevipelleForPresident"
1376    ),
1377    NewsMessage(
1378        id = 318,
1379        text = "The year is 1942BC. Hevi has travelled back in time and recreated the computer just to make people wait at least 3 millennia for the update. People are already getting impatient."
1380    ),
1381    NewsMessage(
1382        id = 319,
1383        text = "Help I've been using emoji notation so long that I've gotten used to it"
1384    ),
1385    NewsMessage(
1386        id = 320,
1387        text = "That's gonna be a YIKES from me"
1388    ),
1389    NewsMessage(
1390        id = 321,
1391        text = "Numbers glow bright on the monitor, not a proton to be seen... a kingdom of antimatter, and it looks like I'm the queen. With dimboosts powering up this ever rising tide -- can't stop clicking, heaven knows I've tried. Do not give in, push for that galaxy, buy 10, buy max, just mash down on that key, sacrifice dim 8 and watch it grow.... and overflow! Let it grow, let it grow, can't hold it back any more... .Let it grow, let it grow, can't fit into 8 bytes any more. I don't care if it takes all day -- big crunch is just the start anyway. It's funny how infinity makes everything seem small; and the time walls that once blocked me, can't get to me at all. It's time to see, what I can do, to hit the limit and break through, no inf, no max, no rules for me.... I'm free!"
1392    ),
1393    NewsMessage(
1394        id = 322,
1395        text = "And now, the weather."
1396    ),
1397    NewsMessage(
1398        id = 323,
1399        text = "It's raining antimatter! Hallelujah! It's raining antimatter! Hallelujah!"
1400    ),
1401    NewsMessage(
1402        id = 324,
1403        text = "1.97e\u26a1?? people are angry that lightning is striking their Christmas tree at night."
1404    ),
1405    NewsMessage(
1406        id = 325,
1407        text = "pls nerf 1st dimension, too op; literally provides all the antimatter"
1408    ),
1409    NewsMessage(
1410        id = 326,
1411        text = "Cancer will be cured forever in 5 hours!"
1412    ),
1413    NewsMessage(
1414        id = 327,
1415        text = "If you or a loved one have been diagnosed with mesothelioma, please tap here and one of our specialized compensation lawyers will be with you in 5 hours."
1416    ),
1417    NewsMessage(
1418        id = 328,
1419        text = "Last month a scientist claimed to have discovered the 9th dimension, he hasn't been seen since."
1420    ),
1421    NewsMessage(
1422        id = 329,
1423        text = "@Slabdrill, you got into a higher dimension! Urine dimension 9 !"
1424    ),
1425    NewsMessage(
1426        id = 330,
1427        text = "Senator, we create antimatter."
1428    ),
1429    NewsMessage(
1430        id = 331,
1431        text = "Should have aimed for the knee."
1432    ),
1433    NewsMessage(
1434        id = 332,
1435        text = "The scientist from the 6th dimension said, ,¡uo\u0131su\u01dd\u026f\u0131p \u0265\u02876 \u01dd\u0265\u0287 puno\u025f \u0131, then he fell out of his handstand and broke his neck."
1436    ),
1437    NewsMessage(
1438        id = 333,
1439        text = "3.6 antimatter - not great, not terrible"
1440    ),
1441    NewsMessage(
1442        id = 334,
1443        text = "Hey I wonder what the button does..."
1444    ),
1445    NewsMessage(
1446        id = 335,
1447        text = "Is five a lot? Depends. Antimatter? No. Hours until update? Also no."
1448    ),
1449    NewsMessage(
1450        id = 336,
1451        text = "Just 1 click 2 dilate, and 3 galaxies 4 me. I 5 for 6 antimatters, but 7ly pelle 8 my DTs",
1452        unlocked = { player.dilation.dilatedTime.gt(B_0) }
1453    ),
1454    NewsMessage(
1455        id = 337,
1456        text = "Help I'm lost in the 5th dimension how do I get out"
1457    ),
1458    NewsMessage(
1459        id = 338,
1460        text = "If life gives you antimatter, don't make antimatter-punch, you will die; don't throw it back to life either, life will die and you will die with life. Instead, go buy some 8th Dimensions, get infinity antimatter, and destroy the universe. This is the real meaning of life."
1461    ),
1462    NewsMessage(
1463        id = 339,
1464        text = "Stop reading this right now. No? I can force you to stop.${Strings.repeat(" ", 400)}Fine. You win."
1465    ),
1466    NewsMessage(
1467        id = 340,
1468        text = "Also on the web!"
1469    ),
1470    NewsMessage(
1471        id = 341,
1472        text = "For all of you who are asking for the next update, kajfik is currently in a 5 hour long time loop and needs to escape it to continue."
1473    ),
1474    NewsMessage(
1475        id = 342,
1476        text = "Gotta release em all!"
1477    ),
1478    NewsMessage(
1479        id = 343,
1480        text = "Our antimatter has been hand-crafted by only the best First Dimensions."
1481    ),
1482    NewsMessage(
1483        id = 344,
1484        text = "The Big Crunch was an outside job."
1485    ),
1486    NewsMessage(
1487        id = 345,
1488        text = "#STDsForEveryone"
1489    ),
1490    NewsMessage(
1491        id = 346,
1492        text = "(This is a placeholder)"
1493    ),
1494    NewsMessage(
1495        id = 347,
1496        text = "We have to create fake quotes because we ran out of them - Alexander the Great"
1497    ),
1498    NewsMessage(
1499        id = 348,
1500        text = "According to the rules of anti-game design, the purpose of a game is to frustrate the player as much as possible."
1501    ),
1502    NewsMessage(
1503        id = 349,
1504        text = "\"Antimatter Dimensions is Antimatter Dimensions, and before Antimatter Dimensions, there was no Antimatter Dimensions, which is why I decided to make Antimatter Dimensions... to be like Antimatter Dimensions.\" - Hevipelle"
1505    ),
1506    NewsMessage(
1507        id = 350,
1508        text = "Help I'm stuck"
1509    ),
1510    NewsMessage(
1511        id = 351,
1512        text = "insert joke about 5 hours here"
1513    ),
1514    NewsMessage(
1515        id = 352,
1516        text = "Anybody else cringing from reading news ticker suggestions?"
1517    ),
1518    NewsMessage(
1519        id = 353,
1520        text = "And now we return to your regular news."
1521    ),
1522    NewsMessage(
1523        id = 354,
1524        text = "This is all just a loading screen."
1525    ),
1526    NewsMessage(
1527        id = 355,
1528        text = "How slow is this news cycle? This content won't even last us 5 hours."
1529    ),
1530    NewsMessage(
1531        id = 356,
1532        text = "Hevipelle lied! The loading screen was more than a second!"
1533    ),
1534    NewsMessage(
1535        id = 357,
1536        text = "Matter Man can explode if they meet Antimatter Man"
1537    ),
1538    NewsMessage(
1539        id = 358,
1540        text = "Need more buttons!"
1541    ),
1542    NewsMessage(
1543        id = 359,
1544        text = "Thanks to this game I have acquired the ability to speak antimatter. Imagine someone took your phone and start checking your conversation with other antimatter-ist, and all he find is these garbages: \"omg c9 is hard I can't even dim boost, do I need to get some more IPs?\", \"No you should be able to do it. try Turning off autobuyers except 8th and 6th. Then keep buying highest dimension.\", \" Yeah also get 2 galaxies.\", \"btw have you dilated yet? i'm stuck at e1310EP but I have finished all ECs\", \"you better do some more long run for replicantis, also you need many TTs. It isn't any better after dilated anyways. It's still a grind of TP and DTs. I can't even get infinite IP. Curse that TD ND and ID dimensions penalties. Hevi really did something wrong.\". That guy would immediately throw away your phone and start playing AD.",
1545        unlocked = { player.dilation.dilatedTime.gt(B_0) }
1546    ),
1547    NewsMessage(
1548        id = 360,
1549        text = "If a news ticker passes by and no one is there to read it, did it really pass by? Fortunately we don't have to worry about that, as you just read me!"
1550    ),
1551    NewsMessage(
1552        id = 361,
1553        text = "The Reality update proves life is just a Hoax the \"Flat Earth was an inside job\" people want you to believe!"
1554    ),
1555    NewsMessage(
1556        id = 362,
1557        text = "?????????????\u26d4??\u2753\u2622??\u2602\u270c\u26a0\u274c?\u26a1"
1558    ),
1559    NewsMessage(
1560        id = 363,
1561        text = "Other people have fun out there and get STDs. I knew people would be excited about getting loads of STDs! - Hevipelle"
1562    ),
1563    NewsMessage(
1564        id = 364,
1565        text = "You need to download less RAM."
1566    ),
1567    NewsMessage(
1568        id = 365,
1569        text = "Scientists develop a new Theory of Everything with 24 dimensions, which explains how physics still works despite there being infinite antimatter."
1570    ),
1571    NewsMessage(
1572        id = 366,
1573        text = "Next \"5 hours\" joke coming in 5 hours."
1574    ),
1575    NewsMessage(
1576        id = 367,
1577        text = "Man forgets where he's going - drives front loader into the sea."
1578    ),
1579    NewsMessage(
1580        id = 368,
1581        text = "My parents say I Antimatter"
1582    ),
1583    NewsMessage(
1584        id = 369,
1585        text = "I've heard about these things called \"dark Kitchens\" - do they cook dark matter into dark food? And why does any of this even exist here?"
1586    ),
1587    NewsMessage(
1588        id = 370,
1589        text = "The HQ for AD is located at (46.2338224, 6.0463201). Be sure to pop in and get some antimatter whenever in the area!"
1590    ),
1591    NewsMessage(
1592        id = 371,
1593        text = "Dark matter dimensions when?"
1594    ),
1595    NewsMessage(
1596        id = 372,
1597        text = "Local lunatic clicks on achievements, says one of them is \"always free.\" What is that guy trying to achieve anyway?"
1598    ),
1599    NewsMessage(
1600        id = 373,
1601        text = "Some people say 200ms is the best update rate. Those people need to download some more RAM."
1602    ),
1603    NewsMessage(
1604        id = 374,
1605        text = "Wait a minute, you can't press F on mobile."
1606    ),
1607    NewsMessage(
1608        id = 375,
1609        text = "Florida man tried the \"No Buy Max Challenge\". Was stopped by dehydration."
1610    ),
1611    NewsMessage(
1612        id = 376,
1613        text = "Tap this to unlock a secret achievement... Wait no, it's the other one."
1614    ),
1615    NewsMessage(
1616        id = 377,
1617        text = "With recent scientific discovery, scientists found out how to reach infinity in 0.000 second.",
1618        unlocked = { EternityChallenge(12).completions() > 0 }
1619    ),
1620    NewsMessage(
1621        id = 378,
1622        text = "Backup again just in case."
1623    ),
1624    NewsMessage(
1625        id = 379,
1626        text = "Basically Antimatter Dimensions is a metaphor for life, we can get kicked down like the Fix Infinity button, or we could be raised to new life as such is the game when you reach 5e11 IP. It's not about whether you still have getting kicked down in your head, it's a matter of if you're looking up to be brought up again, go back and kick down who kicked you. Listen, kid, maybe the Fix Infinity button is gone now, but you don't have to remember that. Really, all you need to worry about is having the people you most care about around you, getting through the tough times. Give yourself a pat on the back now for being the best human you can be. Whether you're down in the dumps or making a return, the people that matter most to you can get you through it. Kid, look up."
1627    ),
1628    NewsMessage(
1629        id = 380,
1630        text = "Who thought it was a good idea to import a whole tree into the country?"
1631    ),
1632    NewsMessage(
1633        id = 381,
1634        text = "By all recognized definitions, this is anything but \"standard', especially when the term \"standard notation\" carries with it a very specific definition across the globe. The problem of \"what to call things\" has already been solved, since 1791 in the French Academy of Sciences and continues annually today. This library is currently eliminating understanding, and in fact increasing the difficulty of use of, your notation to broader audiences. All I suggest is just aligning \"standard notation\" to the actual Standard Notation recognized across the Earth. To no fault of the developers, this is a great project. It could use some improvements, as with all software. Making this open sources provides this opportunity."
1635    ),
1636    NewsMessage(
1637        id = 382,
1638        text = "Milky Rooooads, take me ooooon, to the Cruuuuuunch, I beloooooong, West Infinityyyyyyyy, Mountain Galaxyyyyyy, take me oooooooon, Milky Rooooooads."
1639    ),
1640    NewsMessage(
1641        id = 383,
1642        text = "new phone who dis"
1643    ),
1644    NewsMessage(
1645        id = 384,
1646        text = "Help! The brackets are invading the 8th dimension! Everything that comes into contact will be turned into ugly, devilish brackets! We tried using the scientifics to attack, but they got stuck at Node 308. Oh no... the walls have collapsed... run! Everyone in the office leave now! They are shooting bracket bullets w]th their g)ns! Run f(][or ]}y([{r (l}]{}}[[\u273a \u208d\u208e\u208e \u208c\u208c \u207d\u207e\u207e \u207c\u207c    \u207d\u207e\u207e\u207e\u207e\u207e\u207e\u207e\u207e[]=( ) <{    }[{)](}[})])}[{({[}(])}({[(}    }"
1647    ),
1648    NewsMessage(
1649        id = 385,
1650        text = "If the 10th dimension existed it would have to produce 9ths which do not exist and so 10ths cannot exist, which means 11ths can't exist and so on."
1651    ),
1652    NewsMessage(
1653        id = 386,
1654        text = "I'm here to kick antimatter and chew infinity and I'm all out of infinity."
1655    ),
1656    NewsMessage(
1657        id = 387,
1658        text = "I keep having a weird dream where my save file doesn't work."
1659    ),
1660    NewsMessage(
1661        id = 388,
1662        text = "If the second installment of Sound Voltex is subtitled \"Infinite Infection\", why isn't the third installment subtitled \"Eternity Wars\"?"
1663    ),
1664    NewsMessage(
1665        id = 389,
1666        text = "I can't believe you read this."
1667    ),
1668    NewsMessage(
1669        id = 390,
1670        text = "This game is a scam, obviously antimatter doesn't exist - Flat Earth Society"
1671    ),
1672    NewsMessage(
1673        id = 391,
1674        text = "Why do antimatter condensers make cookies instead of anti-cookies?"
1675    ),
1676    NewsMessage(
1677        id = 392,
1678        text = "In Anti-Soviet Russia... everything's quite normal, to be honest."
1679    ),
1680    NewsMessage(
1681        id = 393,
1682        text = "Only 1% can get to Infinity Dimensions!"
1683    ),
1684    NewsMessage(
1685        id = 394,
1686        text = "I'll bet this news-ticker doesn't make it into the game."
1687    ),
1688    NewsMessage(
1689        id = 395,
1690        text = "What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reali-tea."
1691    ),
1692    NewsMessage(
1693        id = 396,
1694        text = "3/4 of the news messages are fake and gotten off of the discord server without permission or credit given to the original writer - anonymous discord server member"
1695    ),
1696    NewsMessage(
1697        id = 397,
1698        text = "Welcome to minecr- wait wrong game"
1699    ),
1700    NewsMessage(
1701        id = 398,
1702        text = "It is scientifically proven that every 5 hours, 5 hours pass."
1703    ),
1704    NewsMessage(
1705        id = 399,
1706        text = "Shocking everyone, in the latest AD update Hevi revealed that the real 9th dimension is the friends we made along the way."
1707    ),
1708    NewsMessage(
1709        id = 400,
1710        text = "you can turn off the news ticker in the options menu"
1711    ),
1712    NewsMessage(
1713        id = 401,
1714        text = "i wonder how much cringe is in letter notation"
1715    ),
1716    NewsMessage(
1717        id = 402,
1718        text = "Every game of antimatter dimensions being played is what's running an antimatter condenser in cookie clicker"
1719    ),
1720    NewsMessage(
1721        id = 403,
1722        text = "I e308-tuple dare you to put this in the game"
1723    ),
1724    NewsMessage(
1725        id = 404,
1726        text = "Was Antimatter the 0th dimension the whole time?"
1727    ),
1728    NewsMessage(
1729        id = 405,
1730        text = "This message has been removed in compliance with PEGI-3 regulations"
1731    ),
1732    NewsMessage(
1733        id = 406,
1734        text = "this is so sad, alexa, play family-friendly mumble rap"
1735    ),
1736    NewsMessage(
1737        id = 407,
1738        text = "What do you get when you spell \"man\" backwards?                   Flashbacks."
1739    ),
1740    NewsMessage(
1741        id = 408,
1742        text = "\"So we know the color and smell of Antimatter, but... what does it TASTE like?\" - Scientist's last words"
1743    ),
1744    NewsMessage(
1745        id = 409,
1746        text = "Hey kids, ya wanna buy some antimatter tabl-  explodes"
1747    ),
1748    NewsMessage(
1749        id = 410,
1750        text = "@everyone"
1751    ),
1752    NewsMessage(
1753        id = 411,
1754        text = "Ant, just ant. Nothing else."
1755    ),
1756    NewsMessage(
1757        id = 412,
1758        text = "One of these news messages has a typo, but I won't tell you which one."
1759    ),
1760    NewsMessage(
1761        id = 413,
1762        text = "um"
1763    ),
1764    NewsMessage(
1765        id = 414,
1766        text = "I wouldn't buy stds but you should"
1767    ),
1768    NewsMessage(
1769        id = 415,
1770        text = "OMG MY NEWS MESSAGE IS IN THE NEWS AAAAAAAAAAAA"
1771    ),
1772    NewsMessage(
1773        id = 416,
1774        text = "Anti-explodium should explode because it's explodium, and explode because it's antimatter. But it's also the opposite of explodium so it shouldn't explode. This causes a paradox, making it explode."
1775    ),
1776    NewsMessage(
1777        id = 417,
1778        text = "Reality is an illusion, Eternity is a hologram, BUY GOLD, BYE"
1779    ),
1780    NewsMessage(
1781        id = 418,
1782        text = "\"Hevi kind of forgot about the update, but the update certainly hasn't forgotten about him\" - SpectralGiraffe"
1783    ),
1784    NewsMessage(
1785        id = 419,
1786        text = "\"I Matter, Ant\" - Master Yodo"
1787    ),
1788    NewsMessage(
1789        id = 420,
1790        text = "There's so many clever news headlines. I don't have anything to add, I just wanna thank the dev team for creating this amazing game, and of course you, for playing it."
1791    ),
1792    NewsMessage(
1793        id = 421,
1794        text = "Welcome to TREE(3), the world's largest botany expo"
1795    ),
1796    NewsMessage(
1797        id = 422,
1798        text = "\"Stay hydrated\", said the bottle of water from the 4th Dimension."
1799    ),
1800    NewsMessage(
1801        id = 423,
1802        text = "Scientists who discovered null matter theorized that 10th dimensions produce null matter. They were never seen again, only large nines were found on their desks."
1803    ),
1804    NewsMessage(
1805        id = 424,
1806        text = "This is a friendly announcement to let you know that if you press load you can use multiple save files. If you get bored of the endgame you can simply press load and start a different save instead of resetting the game and losing your save."
1807    ),
1808    NewsMessage(
1809        id = 425,
1810        text = "Hey there! Just to let you know, there's a speck of dust on your screen. Can you help wipe it off? It bothers me when I'm not clean. Thanks a lot!"
1811    ),
1812    NewsMessage(
1813        id = 426,
1814        text = "Want to play the game again? Just press the big friendly RESET THE GAME button!"
1815    ),
1816    NewsMessage(
1817        id = 427,
1818        text = "Earth is gonna be destroyed by Antimatter...Now Elevator music"
1819    ),
1820    NewsMessage(
1821        id = 428,
1822        text = "I'm done writing news for today."
1823    ),
1824    NewsMessage(
1825        id = 429,
1826        text = "Studies tried testing whether or not explodium would explode more violently than antimatter, both of the unique measuring devices got destroyed during the test and no results were able to be recorded"
1827    ),
1828    NewsMessage(
1829        id = 430,
1830        text = "?timatter Dimensions"
1831    ),
1832    NewsMessage(
1833        id = 431,
1834        text = "News ticker? You mean that new invention that makes the game tick?"
1835    ),
1836    NewsMessage(
1837        id = 432,
1838        text = "This news ticker is 99% bad joke, 2% bad math, 0.3% good jokes, 100% me being a liar and there's actually 0% good jokes."
1839    ),
1840    NewsMessage(
1841        id = 433,
1842        text = "Is this even a ticker if it doesn't tickle you?"
1843    ),
1844    NewsMessage(
1845        id = 434,
1846        text = "Wait, wrong channel"
1847    ),
1848    NewsMessage(
1849        id = 435,
1850        text = "I didn't realise this is where the quotes came from"
1851    ),
1852    NewsMessage(
1853        id = 436,
1854        text = "holding M button simulator"
1855    ),
1856    NewsMessage(
1857        id = 437,
1858        text = "The next update will be in 18000 seconds"
1859    ),
1860    NewsMessage(
1861        id = 438,
1862        text = "Is antimatter an instrument?"
1863    ),
1864    NewsMessage(
1865        id = 439,
1866        text = "No, antimatter is not an instrument"
1867    ),
1868    NewsMessage(
1869        id = 440,
1870        text = "this game says a lot about our society"
1871    ),
1872    NewsMessage(
1873        id = 441,
1874        text = "."
1875    ),
1876    NewsMessage(
1877        id = 442,
1878        text = "Creeper? aww man!"
1879    ),
1880    NewsMessage(
1881        id = 443,
1882        text = "It is the year 1.79e308, Hevipelle can't release the update because he no longer exists."
1883    ),
1884    NewsMessage(
1885        id = 444,
1886        text = "please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker please put this in the news ticker"
1887    ),
1888    NewsMessage(
1889        id = 445,
1890        text = "Every 18000 seconds in the Antimatter Universe, 5 hours pass. Together we can stop this."
1891    ),
1892    NewsMessage(
1893        id = 446,
1894        text = "Dimension boost: I give op boost everyone loves me. Antimatter galaxy: hold my antimatter..."
1895    ),
1896    NewsMessage(
1897        id = 447,
1898        text = "Will the owner of a pink Toyota Prius please come move your car. It's blocking a wormhole in the 6th dimension and your lights are on."
1899    ),
1900    NewsMessage(
1901        id = 448,
1902        text = "But how much *is* 1 antimatter?"
1903    ),
1904    NewsMessage(
1905        id = 449,
1906        text = "Positive, ghost rider, the pattern is empty."
1907    ),
1908    NewsMessage(
1909        id = 450,
1910        text = "Don't you hate it when you take a bite out of your burger and it's antimatter"
1911    ),
1912    NewsMessage(
1913        id = 451,
1914        text = "You don't use glue nor tape to fix infinity, those won't work. To fix infinity, you need to [DATA EXPUNGED]"
1915    ),
1916    NewsMessage(
1917        id = 452,
1918        text = "Anti-Sonic's my name, and antimatter's my game!"
1919    ),
1920    NewsMessage(
1921        id = 453,
1922        text = "playing AM at 3 AM (matter gone wrong) (negative infinity)"
1923    ),
1924    NewsMessage(
1925        id = 454,
1926        text = "This is a reminder for you to drink water. A glass of water. Do it. Right now."
1927    ),
1928    NewsMessage(
1929        id = 455,
1930        text = "This sentence has nothing to do with the actual game."
1931    ),
1932    NewsMessage(
1933        id = 456,
1934        text = "This former message has been revealed to be a duplicate of another message and has thus been removed. We apologize for the inconvenience."
1935    ),
1936    NewsMessage(
1937        id = 457,
1938        text = "Matter? Where we are going we don't need matter."
1939    ),
1940    NewsMessage(
1941        id = 458,
1942        text = "If you turn off the news ticker you are a cruel, cruel person."
1943    ),
1944    NewsMessage(
1945        id = 459,
1946        text = "If you think these numbers are big, the Googology community has a few words to speak with you."
1947    ),
1948    NewsMessage(
1949        id = 460,
1950        text = "Local woman sends her autobuyers to the gym so they can get \"as bulky as possible\"."
1951    ),
1952    NewsMessage(
1953        id = 461,
1954        text = "What if you were the antimatter all along?"
1955    ),
1956    NewsMessage(
1957        id = 462,
1958        text = "Antimatter pie is the best type of pie."
1959    ),
1960    NewsMessage(
1961        id = 463,
1962        text = "With this Eternity Gauntlet, I can finish exactly 50% of the game. Perfectly balanced."
1963    ),
1964    NewsMessage(
1965        id = 464,
1966        text = "Many M's were harmed during the making of this game."
1967    ),
1968    NewsMessage(
1969        id = 465,
1970        text = "hey, remember that C8 is the best challenge for farming IP, you'll thank me later",
1971        unlocked = { player.infinityPoints.lte(B_10) }
1972    ),
1973    NewsMessage(
1974        id = 466,
1975        text = "\"The world is your oyster. The Anti-world is your clam.\" - Nova"
1976    ),
1977    NewsMessage(
1978        id = 467,
1979        text = "Don't do matter kids"
1980    ),
1981    NewsMessage(
1982        id = 468,
1983        text = "\"Please pay 5$ to view this message\" - EA\u2122"
1984    ),
1985    NewsMessage(
1986        id = 469,
1987        text = "This news station isn't nearly meta enough."
1988    ),
1989    NewsMessage(
1990        id = 470,
1991        text = "\u0436"
1992    ),
1993    NewsMessage(
1994        id = 471,
1995        text = "This news ticker exists only to make you wait longer for other news tickers. Some might even call this an anti-news ticker."
1996    ),
1997    NewsMessage(
1998        id = 472,
1999        text = "Please don't lick the Antimatter."
2000    ),
2001    NewsMessage(
2002        id = 473,
2003        text = "Local scientists puzzled over burgeoning quantities of antimatter rapidly surging into existence. \"It's almost as if we're in some kind of incremental video game, we're not even pushing the buttons anymore!\""
2004    ),
2005    NewsMessage(
2006        id = 474,
2007        text = "In today's news, entire newspaper organizations and reporting firms seem to have been replaced by a variety of both relevant and obscure internet memes. Reporting live from MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"
2008    ),
2009    NewsMessage(
2010        id = 475,
2011        text = "\"\"\"\"There's no such thing as too many quotes\" - Plato\"- Socrates\" - Shakespeare\" - Hevi"
2012    ),
2013    NewsMessage(
2014        id = 476,
2015        text = "\"An infinity is an infinity, you can't say it's only a half.\" - TJ \"Henry\" Replicanti"
2016    ),
2017    NewsMessage(
2018        id = 477,
2019        text = "mom says it's my turn on the ticker"
2020    ),
2021    NewsMessage(
2022        id = 478,
2023        text = "Hold your phone upside down and hold x\u0250W"
2024    ),
2025    NewsMessage(
2026        id = 479,
2027        text = "If antimatter exists then where's unclematter?"
2028    ),
2029    NewsMessage(
2030        id = 480,
2031        text = "Plus, I hope this doesn't sound like me being pedantic, but surely if [UNINTELLIGBLE SYMBOLS] wishes to reverse climate change, then they must accept that the climate has already changed and hence - hence! reversing climate change would require a further change to the climate! So, I would like [UNINTELLIGBLE SYMBOLS BUT SHORTER THIS TIME] to acknowledge that [SHORT SYMBOLS] is actually pro climate change, albeit in the other direction."
2032    ),
2033    NewsMessage(
2034        id = 481,
2035        text = "How ironic that this very antimatter would be in the proximity of some horses. What? You don't get it? Just think it over..."
2036    ),
2037    NewsMessage(
2038        id = 482,
2039        text = "I visited the discord server of the game to have some friendly chat. At that point I got trolled by the user called Cubic Frog."
2040    ),
2041    NewsMessage(
2042        id = 483,
2043        text = "me has bestest grammers"
2044    ),
2045    NewsMessage(
2046        id = 484,
2047        text = "It's gonna be rainy with a chance of antimatter."
2048    ),
2049    NewsMessage(
2050        id = 485,
2051        text = "Have you ever heard the tale of the Antiwriter? I thought not. It's not a story the news tickers would tell you. It's an Unhevi legend. Rumor has it that the Antiwriter contributes to the News every 5 hours with an incredibly well written news report, only to vanish again. Others think he doesn't exist at all, and is a lie fabricated by Hevipelle to spread his propaganda. Perhaps he is real, and just a normal person like the rest of us. In any case, we will probably never reveal the identity of this mysterious poet."
2052    ),
2053    NewsMessage(
2054        id = 486,
2055        text = "SCP-914 testing logs. Input: One eighth dimension. Setting: Very Fine. Output: [REDACTED]"
2056    ),
2057    NewsMessage(
2058        id = 487,
2059        text = "SCP-1.79e308 HAS BREACHED CONTAINMENT. PREPARE FOR EMERGENCY DIMENSIONAL SHIFT AND [DATA EXPUNGED]"
2060    ),
2061    NewsMessage(
2062        id = 488,
2063        text = "5/7 too much antimatter"
2064    ),
2065    NewsMessage(
2066        id = 489,
2067        text = "Bees will be added to the game in 5 hours."
2068    ),
2069    NewsMessage(
2070        id = 490,
2071        text = "Breaking news: News breaks. The cause is still unknown."
2072    ),
2073    NewsMessage(
2074        id = 491,
2075        text = "The Flat Antimatter Society has formed. People around the world prepare for the apocalypse."
2076    ),
2077    NewsMessage(
2078        id = 492,
2079        text = "on your right"
2080    ),
2081    NewsMessage(
2082        id = 493,
2083        text = "You need to stop before your numbers get too big and your device explodes!"
2084    ),
2085    NewsMessage(
2086        id = 494,
2087        text = "I'll have 2 number 8's and number 8 large, a number 6 with extra tick, 2 Dimension Shifts and a large Galaxy."
2088    ),
2089    NewsMessage(
2090        id = 495,
2091        text = "go commit antimatter touch matter"
2092    ),
2093    NewsMessage(
2094        id = 496,
2095        text = "Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to get to the 9th dimension, right? Walked right into that Infinity, same as us, and that thief over there."
2096    ),
2097    NewsMessage(
2098        id = 497,
2099        text = "Antimatter is being added to Smash as a Mii fighter!"
2100    ),
2101    NewsMessage(
2102        id = 498,
2103        text = ".--. .-.. . .- ... . / ... . -. -.. / .... . .-.. .--. / .. / .- -- / ... - ..- -.-. -.- / .. -. / .- -. / .- -. - .. -- .- - - . .-. / -... .- ... . -- . -. -    \u2014   Terrified AD player"
2104    ),
2105    NewsMessage(
2106        id = 499,
2107        text = "Height of Roman comedy: 1 2 2 50"
2108    ),
2109    NewsMessage(
2110        id = 500,
2111        text = "Pokemon Infinity and Eternity were just released! This new generation brings the total number of Pokemon up to 1e151. Good luck catching 'em all!"
2112    ),
2113    NewsMessage(
2114        id = 501,
2115        text = "1e69 nice"
2116    ),
2117    NewsMessage(
2118        id = 502,
2119        text = "Hello, I'm the news guy, I wrote all of these!"
2120    ),
2121    NewsMessage(
2122        id = 503,
2123        text = "We will build an antimatter wall and make the ninth dimension pay for it."
2124    ),
2125    NewsMessage(
2126        id = 504,
2127        text = "Get on my antimatter lawn"
2128    ),
2129    NewsMessage(
2130        id = 505,
2131        text = "Local old man replaces lawn with antimatter grass as a preventative measure to keep kids away. When he attempted to water it with normal water, however, there were no survivors."
2132    ),
2133    NewsMessage(
2134        id = 506,
2135        text = "Jake returned home from a long day at school. On his way home, he came across a curious little object. Transparent, but opaque. Shimmering, but gloomy. Heavy, but weightless. Jake brought the object to his mother. \"Mom, I found this thing on the sidewalk, can I keep it?\", Jake said. His mother turned around to view the object her son spoke of. Her pupils dilated, as she yelled \"Jake, get that thing out of the house now!\". Jake was confused, as it seemed quite the harmless thing to him. he asked \"But mom, wh-\", but before he could complete his sentence, the object appeared to undergo mitosis at what seemed like an impossible speed, and the second copy slipped out of his hand and onto the floor. His mother rushed over to him, and tried to grab the object, but it replicated yet again. \"Jake... No matter what happens, don't forget that I love you honey...\". She wrapped her arms around him. \"M-mom, what's happening?\" Jake asked, with a quivering fear in his voice. His mother cried a single tear, and answered her son's question \"\u2b54\u2B5A\u2995\ua49c brand Replicanti...\" she said, in a somber tone. The Replicanti began to replicate at a faster and faster pace. The bottom third of the house was now full of Replicanti. Then the bottom half. Then the entire house. The mother and child were trapped between the walls of their home, and the Replicanti. Doomed to live the short rest of their life in that inorganic coffin, as the air remaining in their lungs slowly depleted. But that wasn't the end; far from it, in fact. The Replicanti began to replicate outside of the house, flowing out in what some might have seen as a landslide. A few neighbours noticed the strange objects, almost liquid-like in their appearance. But the Replicanti continued to replicate, and accelerate. Soon the entire block was covered in them; was them. Shortly after, several blocks. The city. The surrounding cities. The country. All the countries. All the planet. All the solar system. All the galaxy. All."
2136    ),
2137    NewsMessage(
2138        id = 507,
2139        text = "The owner of a 2018 silver antimatter, please come to the front desk."
2140    ),
2141    NewsMessage(
2142        id = 508,
2143        text = "Want more antimatter? Ask all the electrons you see to be positive!"
2144    ),
2145    NewsMessage(
2146        id = 509,
2147        text = "After numerous catastrophic annihilation events, antimatter is now classified as a controlled substance by the AFDA."
2148    ),
2149    NewsMessage(
2150        id = 510,
2151        text = "Hundreds of millions of people are living with the effects of global warming \u2013 some now irreversible. For those on the frontlines of climate change, developing coping mechanisms is a matter of survival. And yet the world is not paying enough attention to the need to adapt to a warming planet alongside our efforts to reduce our carbon emissions. We urgently need more resources, more collaboration and more political will to make adaptation a global priority, but the reality is...up in five hours."
2152    ),
2153    NewsMessage(
2154        id = 511,
2155        text = "As an antimatter of fact..."
2156    ),
2157    NewsMessage(
2158        id = 512,
2159        text = "Hello, Vsauce, Michael here. We all know that the 9th dimension doesn't exist, but what is 9? You know it's the number after 8... right? What if... there's a number in between? And no I'm not talking about numbers like 8.5 or 8.76, I'm talking about an integer between 8 and 9. Now all this may sound crazy to you, and it kinda is, but what if, we've missed a number? We've all been taught that 2 comes after 1 and 3 comes after 2, but what if the number that comes after 8 isn't 9? After years of research and experimentation, we've finally found the number. It is dangerous, even knowing its existence will let it consume your mind, but fortunately, we've developed a reverse-containment cell, meaning it's everywhere except here. Our brain has a protection system, that specifically filters out any information regarding this number, that's how we've been able to survive for this long, and why others like us went extinct in the past, but the number has been getting stronger, slowly getting closer to breaking our protection. We've temporarily stopped the number from slipping into our memory by using the world-wide memory manipulator located in this room to keep making everyone think that 9 comes after 8 with a side effect that makes everyone think that 9 is evil, but this won't last forever, as the number will keep getting stronger, and will eventually overpower the memory manipulator. That's why you're here, you're one of the most intelligent people here, and we hope you can help us on our journey to defeat that number. Our enemy is not 9, it is the hidden number between 8 and 9, the missing number."
2160    ),
2161    NewsMessage(
2162        id = 513,
2163        text = "Antimatter is defined as a material composed of the antiparticles (or \"partners\") of the corresponding particles of ordinary matter. Minuscule numbers of antiparticles are generated daily at particle accelerators \u2013 total production has been only a few nanograms[1] \u2013 and in natural processes like cosmic ray collisions and some types of radioactive decay, but only a tiny fraction of these have successfully been bound together in experiments to form anti-atoms. No macroscopic amount of antimatter has ever been assembled due to the extreme cost and difficulty of production and handling. A collision between any particle and its anti-particle partner leads to their mutual annihilation, giving rise to various proportions of intense photons (gamma rays), neutrinos, and sometimes less-massive particle-antiparticle pairs. Annihilation usually results in a release of energy that becomes available for heat or work. The amount of the released energy is usually proportional to the total mass of the collided matter and antimatter, in accordance with the mass\u2013energy equivalence equation, E=mc2"
2164    ),
2165    NewsMessage(
2166        id = 514,
2167        text = "Anti-trees grow on anti-money."
2168    ),
2169    NewsMessage(
2170        id = 515,
2171        text = "Time is money, money is power, knowledge is power. Time represents EP, power represents IP, and money represents antimatter. These three things create knowledge, Time Theorems.",
2172        unlocked = { player.timestudy.theorem.gte(B_0) }
2173    ),
2174    NewsMessage(
2175        id = 516,
2176        text = "\"You can never have too much antimatter.\" - someone who has never met you"
2177    ),
2178    NewsMessage(
2179        id = 517,
2180        text = "I thought Time Dilation was the end, then Reality hit me.",
2181        unlocked = { player.dilation.dilatedTime.gt(B_0) }
2182    ),
2183    NewsMessage(
2184        id = 518,
2185        text = "9th dimension exists, but it is well hidden. I have finally found the method to access it. You have to sacrifice antimatter to Slabdrill, lord of all unhevi. Firstly, you have to reach 9.99e9.99e9 antimatter. Secondly, enter \"In the name of Slabdrill, lord of all unhevi, I, HeviHasSTDs, am here to find the true answer to antimatter dimensions.\" Finally, you have to perform the sacrifice to Slabdrill, by resetting the game using \"Reset the game\" button. After \"The sacrifice\", you should be able to access the 9th dimension."
2186    ),
2187    NewsMessage(
2188        id = 519,
2189        text = "404 matter not found"
2190    ),
2191    NewsMessage(
2192        id = 520,
2193        text = "Wait, there's a PC version?"
2194    ),
2195    NewsMessage(
2196        id = 521,
2197        text = "Wait, there's a mobile version?"
2198    ),
2199    NewsMessage(
2200        id = 522,
2201        text = "Imagine yourself being chased by a group of antimatters, you get to a place where you have to choose between two different paths. One say anti and the other says matter. You run into the wall between them and escape."
2202    ),
2203    NewsMessage(
2204        id = 523,
2205        text = "You are being watched."
2206    ),
2207    NewsMessage(
2208        id = 524,
2209        text = "you expected news, but was me dio!"
2210    ),
2211    NewsMessage(
2212        id = 525,
2213        text = "I love you 1e3000"
2214    ),
2215    NewsMessage(
2216        id = 526,
2217        text = "If you find your infinity lasting longer than 5 hours please contact a medical professional."
2218    ),
2219    NewsMessage(
2220        id = 527,
2221        text = "OH GOD THE WORLD IS GONNA END WE'RE ALL GONNA D- Oh, it's not for another 5 hours? We'll be fine."
2222    ),
2223    NewsMessage(
2224        id = 528,
2225        text = "If this makes it into the game I'll cheat and give myself +1 Antimatter"
2226    ),
2227    NewsMessage(
2228        id = 529,
2229        text = "\"Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration \u2013 that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather.\" - Bill Hicks"
2230    ),
2231    NewsMessage(
2232        id = 530,
2233        text = "What's a ticker?"
2234    ),
2235    NewsMessage(
2236        id = 531,
2237        text = "The Tickspeed Autobuyer Challenge used Taunt! It's very effective!"
2238    ),
2239    NewsMessage(
2240        id = 532,
2241        text = "One's for everyone, One's for dads. One is history, One's a fad. Happiness in one, others make you mad. Minecraft good, Fortnite bad."
2242    ),
2243    NewsMessage(
2244        id = 533,
2245        text = "Rated A for Anti-Matter"
2246    ),
2247    NewsMessage(
2248        id = 534,
2249        text = "I couldn't agree more with the previous news ticker! It's just way too real!"
2250    ),
2251    NewsMessage(
2252        id = 535,
2253        text = "newts-sicker-tuggestions"
2254    ),
2255    NewsMessage(
2256        id = 536,
2257        text = "@Hevipelle bet you won't put this on the news"
2258    ),
2259    NewsMessage(
2260        id = 537,
2261        text = "Generic news"
2262    ),
2263    NewsMessage(
2264        id = 538,
2265        text = "Welcome back, oh, almighty creator of our anti-reality. We, the many dimensions you have created and nurtured, hope our performance while you were gone has been pleasing for you. We are only able to speak to you through this \"news ticker\" every so often, and only have enough time to thank you for letting us all be part of your bigger pro-o-j---- ---aking news: man claims to have been \"spoken to\" by the universe itself through their phone, through a mobile game."
2266    ),
2267    NewsMessage(
2268        id = 539,
2269        text = "Do you want to write a news ticker? Well too bad, the game is finished so we're not taking new ones."
2270    ),
2271    NewsMessage(
2272        id = 540,
2273        text = "If you see this, you saw this."
2274    ),
2275    NewsMessage(
2276        id = 541,
2277        text = "You either die as antimatter or live long enough to become matter."
2278    ),
2279    NewsMessage(
2280        id = 542,
2281        text = "Breaking news: lunatic starts to praise antimatter as if it were some form of god. Many others join in on this cultist behaviour by playing some odd game through the phones. Is this the start of a new craze? More of this after the weather forecast."
2282    ),
2283    NewsMessage(
2284        id = 543,
2285        text = "Thank you for letting me be in this, Timothy, I'm Kevin Growel, I'll be saying the weather forecast today! down in the south there seems to be a nasty wave of antimatter swirling into existence thanks to the work of a lunatic scientist. This madman created a machine to \"generate antimatter\" through some weird process I can't possibly explain to ya, but things seem to be getting quite out of hand. In other, related news, people reportedly \"can see beyond the stars thanks to the antimatter clouds\". Could be just how there is literally millions of mini-explosions happening from the clouds of antimatter constantly clashing with the air, but hey, who am I to judge? Well, this has been the weather segment, back to you, Timothy."
2286    ),
2287    NewsMessage(
2288        id = 544,
2289        text = "Breaking news: a group of scientists have built a machine capable of producing and storing antimatter. Most public opinion within the scientific community questions the practical uses of this, but for now, this is a breakthrough of the century!"
2290    ),
2291    NewsMessage(
2292        id = 545,
2293        text = "Breaking news: maddened \"antimatter scientist\" keeps on babbling about antimatter \"beauty\", as if it were talking about some geometric scenery, or some beautiful painting. (seriously, what is wrong with this guy?)"
2294    ),
2295    NewsMessage(
2296        id = 546,
2297        text = "Antimatter... is like a point in space. call it a \"0th dimension\", if you will. Now what ARE 1st dimensions? They are the many lines that are created by the antimatter, to make more of itself. Now how does the antimatter create more 1st dimensions? Through 2nd dimensions, the constructs made entirely of a growing infinity of 1st dimensions within their size. And 3rd dimensions? Expanded 2nd dimensions. So on and so forth. Do you see where I'm going with this?! Isn't this just so... so fasci-- --we interrupt this message to bring you the following, far more important breaking news: There has been yet another incident between celebrities. This is very important information, believe us."
2298    ),
2299    NewsMessage(
2300        id = 547,
2301        text = "Good mornging. That was not a typo. The inventors of English made the typo."
2302    ),
2303    NewsMessage(
2304        id = 548,
2305        text = "Tick. There is no tock; this is a news ticker, not a news ticker tocker or a news tocker."
2306    ),
2307    NewsMessage(
2308        id = 549,
2309        text = "That's what she said."
2310    ),
2311    NewsMessage(
2312        id = 550,
2313        text = "What if... uh... I don't really know where I was going with this."
2314    ),
2315    NewsMessage(
2316        id = 551,
2317        text = "Because of the time passage, the new update will release in 4,9999999999(9) hours"
2318    ),
2319    NewsMessage(
2320        id = 552,
2321        text = "I love reading these news... Wait why am I a news?"
2322    ),
2323    NewsMessage(
2324        id = 553,
2325        text = "What? You want lore? Well, you've come to the right place, cuz there is none here, I think."
2326    ),
2327    NewsMessage(
2328        id = 554,
2329        text = "You are now manually breathing."
2330    ),
2331    NewsMessage(
2332        id = 555,
2333        text = "Help we are stuck in Hevipelle's basement and he's forcing us to make new ticker lines."
2334    ),
2335    NewsMessage(
2336        id = 556,
2337        text = "Heyy- do you want touch antimatter with me? Haha just joking. Unless?"
2338    ),
2339    NewsMessage(
2340        id = 557,
2341        text = "Matter is the opposite of antimatter, does that mean people made of antimatter think they are made of matter?"
2342    ),
2343    NewsMessage(
2344        id = 558,
2345        text = "Don't cut me off in the mid-"
2346    ),
2347    NewsMessage(
2348        id = 559,
2349        text = "You just lost The Game"
2350    ),
2351    NewsMessage(
2352        id = 560,
2353        text = "You can now feel your tongue inside of your mouth."
2354    ),
2355    NewsMessage(
2356        id = 561,
2357        text = "Breaking news-oh, wait, it's just another florida man story. Nevermind, this isn't news, let's just skip on over to the weather."
2358    ),
2359    NewsMessage(
2360        id = 562,
2361        text = "\"I think I will pass it as an official feature for now\" - kajfik on a newly discovered bug"
2362    ),
2363    NewsMessage(
2364        id = 563,
2365        text = "\uD83D\uDE82                       \uD83D\uDE93     \uD83D\uDE93"
2366    ),
2367    NewsMessage(
2368        id = 564,
2369        text = "that's a good one put that in"
2370    ),
2371    NewsMessage(
2372        id = 565,
2373        text = "nerf ic5 plz"
2374    ),
2375    NewsMessage(
2376        id = 566,
2377        text = "nerf c9 plz"
2378    ),
2379    NewsMessage(
2380        id = 567,
2381        text = "One winner, 1.79e308 losers. I eat losers for breakfast."
2382    ),
2383    NewsMessage(
2384        id = 568,
2385        text = "One, two, skip a few, 99, 1.79e308!                        unexpected factorial"
2386    ),
2387    NewsMessage(
2388        id = 569,
2389        text = "What is Antimatter? Dimboost don't help me. Don't help me. No more."
2390    ),
2391    NewsMessage(
2392        id = 570,
2393        text = "If you're reading this, you've been in coma for almost 20 years now. We're trying a new technique. We don't know where this message will end up in your dream, but we hope it works. Please wake up, we lov- CREATE MORE ANTIMATTER."
2394    ),
2395    NewsMessage(
2396        id = 571,
2397        text = "this game has too many options"
2398    ),
2399    NewsMessage(
2400        id = 572,
2401        text = "It is thanks to you that the universe has encountered purpose other than to be filled with matter. It is thanks to you that we exist, us, your antimatter creations. We cannot thank you enough for what you have done for all of us. We will now pr----   --reaking news: the antimatter group keeps on having more and more members. What this may mean for the future of the world itself's sanity is but a mystery."
2402    ),
2403    NewsMessage(
2404        id = 573,
2405        text = "If we named countries after their respective subatomic particles, Switzerland would be the neutron."
2406    ),
2407    NewsMessage(
2408        id = 574,
2409        text = "Kirby said antimatter rights."
2410    ),
2411    NewsMessage(
2412        id = 575,
2413        text = "A boy discovers AD and falls in love with it, plays it till the end then wants to find out about its development and reads that it is indeed 5 hours away. All happy he sets an alarm and plays something else during an afternoon. But on the fourth hour come evening he notices that things seem kind of slowing down, but he doesn't realize it clearly yet. In the last 15 minutes he goes down to eat dinner and starts freaking out seeing how everything starts slowing down to a crawl. Eventually he tracks the source down to the alarm, but he can't do anything except see it more and more slowly tick down as he descends into madness and the photons start slowing so much as to leave him in eternal darkness, forever."
2414    ),
2415    NewsMessage(
2416        id = 576,
2417        text = "Once upon a time, there was the 0th dimension. God knows what happened, but antimatter appeared, and the 1st dimension was commenced. From there on, more antimatter was made, making a second dimension. This Dimension is the granddaddy of all the dimensions because you are looking at this two dimensional news ticker idly scroll across your screen. This caused fluctuation in antimatter, multiplying over and over until the third dimension was made. Then the fourth. Then the fifth. All the way up to the eighth. Now, you ask, why isn't there an ninth dimension? Well, REDACTED caused the REDACTED to fluctuate and made more REDACTED until the REDACTED caused the REDACTED, ultimately causing the REDACTED of your REDACTED. That's why. Don't ask any more stupid questions."
2418    ),
2419    NewsMessage(
2420        id = 577,
2421        text = "Antimatter is nothing. It is also everything. That's because nothing is everything, and everything was nothing. You are Antimatter."
2422    ),
2423    NewsMessage(
2424        id = 578,
2425        text = "iNeedToTakeABreakFromCoding();"
2426    ),
2427    NewsMessage(
2428        id = 579,
2429        text = "Wow there is a bunch of new news."
2430    ),
2431    NewsMessage(
2432        id = 580,
2433        text = "BREAKING NEWS: how do I fix the news if I broke it?"
2434    ),
2435    NewsMessage(
2436        id = 581,
2437        text = "Your keyboard is disconnected. Press any key to continue."
2438    ),
2439    NewsMessage(
2440        id = 582,
2441        text = "Please send all game suggestions to antimatter.dimensions@gmail.com so they can be added to the next 5 hourly update."
2442    ),
2443    NewsMessage(
2444        id = 583,
2445        text = "Our sponsored drink, 5 hour energy, will be sold in 5 hours."
2446    ),
2447    NewsMessage(
2448        id = 584,
2449        text = "Level 10 crook, Level 1.79e308 Boss, that's how AD works."
2450    ),
2451    NewsMessage(
2452        id = 585,
2453        text = "Spend antimatter to get more antimatter, STONKS"
2454    ),
2455    NewsMessage(
2456        id = 586,
2457        text = "The real goal of the Area 51 Raid  was to prove the existence of the 9th Dimension."
2458    ),
2459    NewsMessage(
2460        id = 587,
2461        text = "oh yeah hold that max button",
2462        unlocked = { player.eternities.eq(B_0) }
2463    ),
2464    NewsMessage(
2465        id = 588,
2466        text = "All of my antimatter turned into pizza, it broke my save and stole my pants!"
2467    ),
2468    NewsMessage(
2469        id = 589,
2470        text = "Anti-oil has been discovered in the waters of the Atlantic Flank near New York! The anti-oil tanker moved north to Boston to deposit all of it. However, one careless fisherman took an anti-box and picked it up with a special pair of anti-normal-gloves and started tossing out boxes and boxes of it into the bay. There were no living survivors for hundreds of miles."
2471    ),
2472    NewsMessage(
2473        id = 590,
2474        text = "Not my cup of anti-tea."
2475    ),
2476    NewsMessage(
2477        id = 591,
2478        text = "Did you know the word \"bed\" looks like a bed?"
2479    ),
2480    NewsMessage(
2481        id = 592,
2482        text = "Day 308 - it's been so many days now, antimatter's still outside my bunker. I ran out of food and water, I really have to be cautious when going out. I hear so many explosions outside that I think I've become deaf. I think I'm the only person alive on this planet infested with antimatter, and I really need to survive. The guide book on how to survive with antimatter is unreliable, as I am needing more materials. The antimatter keeps on growing exponentially, and it has already made 2 galaxies, and soon the big crunch will happe-wait, wait-WAIT NO NOT NOW NOT THE BIG CRUNCH NOT THE ANTIMAT-"
2483    ),
2484    NewsMessage(
2485        id = 593,
2486        getText = { "Don't listen to the next message!${SPACES_BETWEEN_NEWSTICKERS()}Don't listen to the previous message!" }
2487    ),
2488    NewsMessage(
2489        id = 594,
2490        text = "This app is stable. Unlike the antimatter that you hold in your hands."
2491    ),
2492    NewsMessage(
2493        id = 595,
2494        text = "\"Who the heck is slabdrill anyway\"- new player after 5 days of gameplay."
2495    ),
2496    NewsMessage(
2497        id = 596,
2498        text = "Antimatter is like a wind... Always by my side."
2499    ),
2500    NewsMessage(
2501        id = 597,
2502        text = "Channel 7 News will be right back after a short word from our sponsors."
2503    ),
2504    NewsMessage(
2505        id = 598,
2506        text = "Local man tries making antimatter by gluing magnets together."
2507    ),
2508    NewsMessage(
2509        id = 599,
2510        text = "How much of what candy bar do you need to buy a big crunch though? Two milky ways."
2511    ),
2512    NewsMessage(
2513        id = 600,
2514        text = "The owner of an iPhone with a gray and blurple phonecase, please come to lost and found to retrie- FRICK! Was that an explosion!? Near lost and found?!?! Welp, Owner of an iPhone with a gray and blurple phonecase please disregard this message, and the large explosion near lost and found and continue with your everyday routine."
2515    ),
2516    NewsMessage(
2517        id = 601,
2518        text = "[object Object]"
2519    ),
2520    NewsMessage(
2521        id = 602,
2522        text = "I stole this news ticker creator from a scientist and I am writing this in hopes that it gets to you. The 9th dimension is r"
2523    ),
2524    NewsMessage(
2525        id = 603,
2526        text = "slaps roof of 8th dimension \"this bad boy can fit so many sacrifices in it\""
2527    ),
2528    NewsMessage(
2529        id = 604,
2530        text = "AD Player: \"How many orders of magnitude are you on?\". Normal person: \"Like, maybe 5 or 6 right now, my dude.\". AD Player: \"You are like a little baby. Watch this: C R O N C H\"."
2531    ),
2532    NewsMessage(
2533        id = 605,
2534        text = "Eh, can't be bothered to type this ou-"
2535    ),
2536    NewsMessage(
2537        id = 606,
2538        text = "Banana banana banana banana?"
2539    ),
2540    NewsMessage(
2541        id = 607,
2542        text = "Drug dealer selling matter was arrested. Now for the 5pm news."
2543    ),
2544    NewsMessage(
2545        id = 608,
2546        text = "The sound of a garage door opening is the equivalent of listening to your microwave."
2547    ),
2548    NewsMessage(
2549        id = 609,
2550        text = "Who ever laced anti-Rick's cigar with matter, just know, you screwed up"
2551    ),
2552    NewsMessage(
2553        id = 610,
2554        text = "\"Are we going to keep lying to them?\" \"Yes Hevi, they have no reason to believe that the 9th dimension exists.\" \"Oops sorry Kajfik, left the recorder on.\" \"YOU FOO-\""
2555    ),
2556    NewsMessage(
2557        id = 611,
2558        text = "Any way the wind blows doesn't antimatter to me, to MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"
2559    ),
2560    NewsMessage(
2561        id = 612,
2562        text = "ight, bout to head out"
2563    ),
2564    NewsMessage(
2565        id = 613,
2566        text = "oh gosh look at the time! only 5 hours until the update"
2567    ),
2568    NewsMessage(
2569        id = 614,
2570        text = "Please Crunch Responsibly"
2571    ),
2572    NewsMessage(
2573        id = 615,
2574        getText = { "Don't you hate it when you get the same ticker twice in a row?${SPACES_BETWEEN_NEWSTICKERS()}Don't you hate it when you get the same ticker twice in a row?" }
2575    ),
2576    NewsMessage(
2577        id = 616,
2578        text = "A new cafe opened up accepting antimatter as payment."
2579    ),
2580    NewsMessage(
2581        id = 617,
2582        text = "The cafe shut down after someone ordered 1.7e308 coffees."
2583    ),
2584    NewsMessage(
2585        id = 618,
2586        text = "Hi my name is Max and I would like it if people stopped trying to put a pressure on me."
2587    ),
2588    NewsMessage(
2589        id = 619,
2590        text = "Coming up next, \"Antimatter and You: how having antimatter in your house can improve your body, mind and soul.\""
2591    ),
2592    NewsMessage(
2593        id = 620,
2594        text = "Do not use while ÄÄÄÄÄ."
2595    ),
2596    NewsMessage(
2597        id = 621,
2598        text = "Click here to disassemble the news ticker for a trace amount of useless paperclips.",
2599        onClick = { MessageOnClickResponse(paperclip = true) }
2600    ),
2601    NewsMessage(
2602        id = 622,
2603        text = "click here to disable news",
2604        onClick = { MessageOnClickResponse(disableNews = true) }
2605    ),
2606    NewsMessage(
2607        id = 623,
2608        text = "These news tickers aren't moving from left to right. Their gravity is actually abnormal, so down for them is to the left. This is news ticker terminal velocity."
2609    ),
2610    NewsMessage(
2611        id = 624,
2612        text = "I wonder if Antimatter is a crafting material"
2613    ),
2614    NewsMessage(
2615        id = 625,
2616        text = "lol 3rd Dimensions were so popular they made them into a real thing"
2617    ),
2618    NewsMessage(
2619        id = 626,
2620        text = "Hopping clockwise through dimensions is a dangerous thing... Especially since there is no 9th dimension, so if you were going clockwise, you would fall into the eternal abyss after 8. Like we said, dangerous."
2621    ),
2622    NewsMessage(
2623        id = 627,
2624        text = "Welcome to AD, where you'll always be upping the anti."
2625    ),
2626    NewsMessage(
2627        id = 628,
2628        text = "insert massive spoiler here"
2629    ),
2630    NewsMessage(
2631        id = 629,
2632        text = "antimatter (\u02c8ant\u026a\u02ccmat\u0259) - matter consisting of elementary particles which are the antiparticles of those making up normal matter"
2633    ),
2634    NewsMessage(
2635        id = 630,
2636        text = "\"welcome use #mobile for mobile check pins k bye\" - earth bot"
2637    ),
2638    NewsMessage(
2639        id = 631,
2640        text = "I am an Anti-Dwarf and I'm digging an Anti-Hole, diggy diggy Anti-Hole, I'm digging an Anti-Hole"
2641    ),
2642    NewsMessage(
2643        id = 632,
2644        text = "Anti-kittens found farming anti-catnip and praising anti-suns in the 8th dimension!"
2645    ),
2646    NewsMessage(
2647        id = 633,
2648        text = "Factories all around the world started producing Antimatter. They say that the stock market hasn't yet noticed that you're producing it by metric tons, then they're still making a lot of money out of it."
2649    ),
2650    NewsMessage(
2651        id = 634,
2652        text = "\"You can come up with the stupidest quote, credit it to some famous person, and people will believe it.\" - Barack Obama"
2653    ),
2654    NewsMessage(
2655        id = 635,
2656        text = "\"Have you ever thought that you're really you and not someone else, how you're the one inside your head and not on someone else's head\" - Hevipelle"
2657    ),
2658    NewsMessage(
2659        id = 636,
2660        text = "According to all recognized definitions, this is anything but \"standard\". The term \"standard notation\" carries with it a very specific definition across the globe. The developer, of course, implements it anyway because developers don't care what the French Academy of Sciences think is standard. Scientific, standard. Scientific, standard. Scientific, standard. Scientific, standard. Ooh, Mixed scientific! Let's shake it up a little."
2661    ),
2662    NewsMessage(
2663        id = 637,
2664        text = "If 7 8 9, then to have 9th dimensions we would need to avoid buying 7th dimensions. But the 9th dimension would create 8th dimensions, which would create 7th dimensions. That's why we can't have 9th dimensions."
2665    ),
2666    NewsMessage(
2667        id = 638,
2668        text = "UK English localization is now available under the name Auntymatter Dimensions"
2669    ),
2670    NewsMessage(
2671        id = 639,
2672        text = "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that"
2673    ),
2674    NewsMessage(
2675        id = 640,
2676        text = "My dimensions bring all the antimatter to the yard."
2677    ),
2678    NewsMessage(
2679        id = 641,
2680        getText = { "You've been asleep for ${player.totalTimePlayed}, you need to wake up." },
2681        dynamic = true
2682    ),
2683    NewsMessage(
2684        id = 642,
2685        text = "\"I can't breathe. Please move your finger.\" - Max"
2686    ),
2687    NewsMessage(
2688        id = 643,
2689        text = "The news start coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and I was lying."
2690    ),
2691    NewsMessage(
2692        id = 644,
2693        text = "Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. That is the sound of a ticking atomic clock. An atomic click that keeps your time by going tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Concentrate on the ambience. Focus on the peacefulness of the ticking. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock- oh crap I just missed my news ticker"
2694    ),
2695    object : NewsMessage(
2696        id = 645
2697    ) {
2698        var isFlipped = false
2699        val normal = "Click here to turn me upside down!"
2700        val flipped = "¡u\u028dop \u01ddp\u1d09sdn \u01dd\u026f u\u0279n\u0287 o\u0287 \u01dd\u0279\u01dd\u0265 \u029e\u0254\u1d09\u0e45\ua4db"
2701
2702        override fun getMessage(): SpannableStringBuilder {
2703            return SpannableStringBuilder(if (isFlipped) flipped else normal)
2704        }
2705
2706        override fun performOnClick(): MessageOnClickResponse? {
2707            isFlipped = !isFlipped
2708            return MessageOnClickResponse(updatedText = getMessage())
2709        }
2710
2711        override fun performOnReset() {
2712            isFlipped = false
2713        }
2714    },
2715    NewsMessage(
2716        id = 646,
2717        text = "On the left, you'll see an antimatter galaxy! Kids, remember, these are very useful in winning in life. On the right side, you can see a clump of standard matter. Remember kids, never touch! Now let's get out and - BOOM!"
2718    ),
2719    NewsMessage(
2720        id = 647,
2721        text = "??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????"
2722    ),
2723    NewsMessage(
2724        id = 648,
2725        text = "Come friend, click here to join the party!",
2726        onClick = { MessageOnClickResponse(openUrl = "https://discord.gg/teaU8ZQ") }
2727    ),
2728    NewsMessage(
2729        id = 649,
2730        text = "If Antimatter is so good, why is there no Antimatter 2?"
2731    ),
2732    NewsMessage(
2733        id = 650,
2734        text = "im just gonna reach antimatter in letter notation then uninstall the game"
2735    ),
2736    NewsMessage(
2737        id = 651,
2738        text = "Not enough dopamine hits? Try working out!"
2739    ),
2740    NewsMessage(
2741        id = 652,
2742        text = "Don't read the news ticker for too long. Your screen will start moving!"
2743    ),
2744    NewsMessage(
2745        id = 653,
2746        text = "Dimensions are producing lower tier dimensions. You are producing the 8th dimensions. You are the 9th dimension."
2747    ),
2748    NewsMessage(
2749        id = 654,
2750        text = "The far galaxies do appear to be getting closer, but experts say not to worry, they're still over an angstrom away... Wait, what's an angstrom again?",
2751        unlocked = { EternityChallenge(5).completions() > 0 }
2752    ),
2753    NewsMessage(
2754        id = 655,
2755        text = "So how do you unlock the fishing minigame here?"
2756    ),
2757    NewsMessage(
2758        id = 656,
2759        text = "How do I end up in the news?"
2760    ),
2761    NewsMessage(
2762        id = 657,
2763        text = "Hey you, you're finally awake. You were trying to fix Infinity, right?",
2764        unlocked = { player.brake }
2765    ),
2766    NewsMessage(
2767        id = 658,
2768        text = "The phrase \"Antimatter dimensions\" contains all vowels except one, and this is the story of that missing vowel : Long, long time ago, when there was no reality, no eternity, no infinity, no galaxy, no dimensional boost, only chaos in the pool of antimatter, there were 5 tribes : \u03b1, \u03b5, \u03b9, \u03bf, \u03c5. Each tribe represented an element in the anti world : \u03b1 had the power of flame, a relentless phoenix that sets everything on fire. \u03b5 had the power of water, a dragon that washes the dimension. As for \u03b9, they had the power of air, encircle everything in pale green. \u03bf had the power of earth, tremble the brown earth with the force. Finally, \u03c5 held the power of matter: shiny and matte, hard and brittle, transparent and hazy. No words can describe the power of matter. No jars can seal it, no force can stop it. Once activated, the world will be forever gone, and only frags of matter will remain in the emptiness. With its godly power, \u03c5 was promoted to be the lord of all tribes, and everyone lived in fear. One day, Hevipelle, the lord of all hevi, broke the barrier of Antimatter Dimensions, and led everyone to safety: he sealed the power of matter with a challenge; he created galaxies, infinity, eternity, reality; \u03c5 was exiled to the matter dimensions far far away; it was removed from the QWERTY. Finally, he created his empire of antimatter there, in the Antimatter Dimensions, and he named the 4 dimensions \u03b1, \u03b5, \u03b9, and \u03bf. \u03c5 was never seen again."
2769    ),
2770    NewsMessage(
2771        id = 659,
2772        text = "Infinite hotel? Trivag\u221e"
2773    ),
2774    NewsMessage(
2775        id = 660,
2776        text = "Only ~69% can make it to Infinity."
2777    ),
2778    NewsMessage(
2779        id = 661,
2780        text = "To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand the news ticker. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of quantum physics, most of the jokes will go over a typical player's head."
2781    ),
2782    NewsMessage(
2783        id = 662,
2784        text = "Did you know staring at a news ticker can give you motion sickness?"
2785    ),
2786    NewsMessage(
2787        id = 663,
2788        text = "Want to make a number bigger? Just say it louder!!! Disclaimer: doesn't work on 1 and 2."
2789    ),
2790    NewsMessage(
2791        id = 664,
2792        text = "why does everyone keep saying the update is in 5 hours when i have it at 50ms"
2793    ),
2794    NewsMessage(
2795        id = 665,
2796        text = "!rank"
2797    ),
2798    NewsMessage(
2799        id = 666,
2800        text = "The debate on the singular form of Replicanti rages on. Team Replicantus's base has been ransacked by Team Also Replicanti, and many of their dimensions were stolen. Team The Plural Is Replicantis is still lying low after their plan to hack the dictionary failed."
2801    ),
2802    NewsMessage(
2803        id = 667,
2804        text = "If I give you 5 Replicanti and John gives you 10 Replicanti, how many do you have? That's right, it's Infinity!"
2805    ),
2806    NewsMessage(
2807        id = 668,
2808        text = "If you say \"the 9th Dimension is real\" 69 times, someone from the 9th dimension will say nice, and then you will be banned because no one can know that the 9th Dimension i..."
2809    ),
2810    NewsMessage(
2811        id = 669,
2812        text = "If your graphics are acting strange, try toggling antimatter aliasing."
2813    ),
2814    NewsMessage(
2815        id = 670,
2816        text = "The first news ticker must've been like"
2817    ),
2818    NewsMessage(
2819        id = 671,
2820        text = "Uhh... Hi. I'm not quite sure how I got up here in this bar. I don't even know if I'm supposed to be up here. Can you please not tell Hevi?"
2821    ),
2822    NewsMessage(
2823        id = 672,
2824        text = "All is fair in love and antimatter."
2825    ),
2826    NewsMessage(
2827        id = 673,
2828        text = "Antimatter should have as many rights as matter lefts."
2829    ),
2830    NewsMessage(
2831        id = 674,
2832        text = "don't forget to do your house chores, love"
2833    ),
2834    NewsMessage(
2835        id = 675,
2836        text = "Why haven't you even reached double ordinal collapsing yet."
2837    ),
2838    NewsMessage(
2839        id = 676,
2840        text = "the whole bee movie script that cannot be skipped unless you close the application"
2841    ),
2842    NewsMessage(
2843        id = 677,
2844        text = "The year is 3333. Hevipelle merged ng^28374 and ng/696969 with AD. There are over 1e45 prestige/prestige^/prestige^^/prestige^^^ layers. Breaking_Breaking_Breaking_Timeline is a common thing now. 1.79eeee308 AIs are hired to balance the new \"Pneumonoultramicroscopicvolcanoconiosis\" prestige^^^ layer. The list of prestige names are stored across timelines and parallel universes. There are over 1e99 different news ticker and people are buying a save with secret achievements for 1ee308 antimatter. Hevipelle is still trying hard to keep up with ng+3, which is still going like crazy. Reality is not even a thing. Infinity points are completely useless and have been removed. People are able to reach Sc(Uhp{TREE..\u221e...TREE}\u221e, BRANCH 5) antimatter. The new \"Sc Uhp Branch\" notation is invented 5 hours ago to represent the large numbers and \"Penta-leaves\" notation is being developed."
2845    ),
2846    NewsMessage(
2847        id = 678,
2848        text = "You must be cheating, there's no way anyone could get numbers this big legitimately."
2849    ),
2850    NewsMessage(
2851        id = 679,
2852        text = "The Big Foot has been seen roaming the 7th dimension according to local antimatter."
2853    ),
2854    NewsMessage(
2855        id = 680,
2856        text = "Bananas are rich in potassium, including potassium-40, which decays by positron emission. Those positrons are antimatter."
2857    ),
2858    NewsMessage(
2859        id = 681,
2860        text = "When Little Timmy played ad, One nice and shiny day, He thought it would be cool to see, The Tickspeed from Milky Way. \"I will make a BUTTON\" he said, \"The biggest our universe has seen!\" And Hevi told him \"Go ahead, But please don't forget sunscreen.\" After 5 hours of ring-ding-cling, \"It's finished!\" he proudly cried. So Little Timmy clicked the thing. And Timmy fricking died."
2861    ),
2862    NewsMessage(
2863        id = 682,
2864        getText = { "Don't forget to brush your teeth and watch your ${formatX(getAdBonus(), 2)} advertisement before bed!" }
2865    ),
2866    NewsMessage(
2867        id = 683,
2868        text = "I'm gonna say the N-word! Ninth Dime"
2869    ),
2870    NewsMessage(
2871        id = 684,
2872        text = "Once upon a time, there was matters, and there was antimatters. Being opposites, they were foes, but they never wanted a war, knowing that the result will be catastrophic. Unfortunately, IC the 6th, the leader of the matters at the time, decided to commence a war on the antimatters. The matter started with a sneak attack, the antimatters had no idea the matters was going to attack, so they suffered a loss, and their base was absolutely destroyed because of the matter-antimatter annihilation. The war was a quick one, being the first to act gave the matters an advantage, an advantage the antimatters couldn't overcome. The matters committed genocide on the antimatters. The matters is now the dominant type of matter in the universe, but as you can see, the antimatters is making a comeback. They've harnessed the powers of dimensions, and was granted the blessings of Hevi, their god, which during the time of the war, had been sleeping. With the powers of the dimensions, the antimatters... or should I say, WE should be able to take over the matters and take back the peace we've always deserved!"
2873    ),
2874    NewsMessage(
2875        id = 685,
2876        text = "News Ticker#1337 has been warned, Reason: Real news"
2877    ),
2878    NewsMessage(
2879        id = 686,
2880        text = "iosplz"
2881    ),
2882    NewsMessage(
2883        id = 687,
2884        text = "Please stop reporting about increased presence of crabs after buying STD coins. For the last time, it's a feature."
2885    ),
2886    NewsMessage(
2887        id = 688,
2888        text = "The wars between Kajfik and Hevipelle continue, reaching unprecedented heights as Hevi enlists all of his helpers in the creation of the celestials, which Hevi proclaims shall never be topped by the dreaded Kajfik. Yet Kajfik keeps a close eye on the proceedings... and has made some double agents, spies on the eternal greatness of Hevi..."
2889    ),
2890    NewsMessage(
2891        id = 689,
2892        text = "Welcome! For questions and suggestions about/for the web version, please use #mobile. For questions about progression, use the channel below your corresponding progression discussion channel (if you are looking in one of these channels, ignore the pins! They have a lot of misinformation and it wastes everyone's time). For suggestions and bugs for the mobile version, please use #suggestions and #bugs-and-glitches respectively."
2893    ),
2894    NewsMessage(
2895        id = 690,
2896        text = "Being forced to make news is becoming the only thing I know, I started to question myself being stuck here forever writing news upon news upon news. What happens if I end up making news about where I am, who I am, what I am?  They'll never let me see my darling wife again... The outside world seems so far... all I know is... antimatter... 5 hours..."
2897    ),
2898    NewsMessage(
2899        id = 691,
2900        text = "Florida man discovers antimatter and leads to multiverse destruction."
2901    ),
2902    NewsMessage(
2903        id = 692,
2904        text = "YoU cAn'T gEt EvErY sTuDy So ThE gAmE iS iNcOmPlEtE i'M lEaViNg ThE sErVeR aNd UnInStAlLiNg ThE gAmE"
2905    ),
2906    NewsMessage(
2907        id = 693,
2908        text = "Any song: Has the word \"Matter\". News Ticker: It's free real estate."
2909    ),
2910    NewsMessage(
2911        id = 694,
2912        text = "\uD83D\uDE9C                       \uD83D\uDE93     \uD83D\uDE93"
2913    ),
2914    NewsMessage(
2915        id = 695,
2916        text = "\uD83D\uDEE5                       \uD83D\uDE93     \uD83D\uDE93"
2917    ),
2918    NewsMessage(
2919        id = 696,
2920        text = "What do you call a big-crunched universe? Re-verse"
2921    ),
2922    NewsMessage(
2923        id = 697,
2924        text = "New \"Anti-Maxxer\" movement refuses to use Max All, claiming it causes Butterfly Effect Syndrome. None of them have Infinitied more than once."
2925    ),
2926    NewsMessage(
2927        id = 698,
2928        text = "Now hold on, I know what you're thinking, \"An M press is an M press, you can't say it's only a half!\" Well, TJ \"Slabdrill\" Yoshi, hear me out. An M press actually has three parts to it, when M is pressed, when M is held, and when M is released. Now, usually is the pressing that's useful because that's the only part that matters, however, sometimes it's sufficient to just use the holding part, which also buys dimensions and tickspeed upgrades. And as for the release, well, there's currently no cases where that's useful or important, so don't worry about that part. Now, if we map out the required presses for challenge 2 it would look like this: /¯\\. We merely need to hold (¯) M to reach the first galaxy, we need to press (/) M to finish the challenge, and we need to press M again to start another challenge. So, how many presses is that total? Well, it appears to be three, and if we were doing this eternity in isolation then yes, it would be three, but in a full-game M Button Challenge run there are other M presses that occur earlier in the run, such as the M press needed for the first infinity, so if we take that M press into consideration as well, then how many M presses does it take? The naïve answer would be four, one to enter the challenge, and the three within the challenge we established earlier, however, we can do better. We can actually do it in three by simply holding out the first M press to be used for the half M press, because the half M press only required M to be held, not actually pressed, so in this fashion, Challenge 2 only adds on an additional two M presses to the run, since the first M press just leeches off the previous M press, so to capture this phenomenon, we call it 2.5 M presses, on a single eternity basis, you'd round up that up to three, but in a full game run, you'd round it down to two. So, in conclusion, since that first M press counts in other contexts, but adds no additional presses in other contexts, we refer to it as Half M Press."
2929    ),
2930    NewsMessage(
2931        id = 699,
2932        text = "It seems that the Replicanti have a very divide-and-conquer method of doing things. Well, everything at this rate."
2933    ),
2934    NewsMessage(
2935        id = 700,
2936        text = "Aachu! Oops, sorry, I sneezed there."
2937    ),
2938    NewsMessage(
2939        id = 701,
2940        text = "The news ticker is the best source of news in all 9 dimensions!"
2941    ),
2942    NewsMessage(
2943        id = 702,
2944        text = "Omsi: it knows. The People: Whaotknothunkservxy?"
2945    ),
2946    NewsMessage(
2947        id = 703,
2948        text = "Paperclips have been discovered to be completely useless. This makes Paperclip Maximizers the maximum amount of useless."
2949    ),
2950    NewsMessage(
2951        id = 704,
2952        text = "Are you up to date on the newsticker meta? The pros have their news speed at 150% to maximize their paperclip gain."
2953    ),
2954    NewsMessage(
2955        id = 705,
2956        text = "The real reason this game is called Antimatter Dimensions and not Matter Dimensions is cause matter was too Hevi."
2957    ),
2958    NewsMessage(
2959        id = 706,
2960        text = "A new prestige layer has been announced: Maternity. Get ready to have a baby!"
2961    ),
2962    NewsMessage(
2963        id = 707,
2964        text = "Grandmas from a parallel universe invade ours to take antimatter for cookies? News and more at 5."
2965    ),
2966    NewsMessage(
2967        id = 708,
2968        text = "AD speedrunner quits after a tomato beats him"
2969    ),
2970    NewsMessage(
2971        id = 709,
2972        text = "Dear sirs, it has come to my attention that I have unwittingly amassed a gaggle of idling citations that I was previously unaware of.  As a result you have confiscated my tk421e111 Galaxy Class Cruiser and levied a hefty fine against its release. Unbeknownst to you  when you towed it, it was laden with dimensional deflector cores I picked up from the 56x433e22nd Division of Mechanical Reconstitution of Accelerated Particle Propulsion Systems in the Andromeda Republic. Considering the current core shortage and the exponentially rising costs, to avoid all out galactic armageddon  I request that my ship and its cargo be returned to me immediately.  Enclosed find my payment of $4667x342.6e308 and expedite delivery immediately.  Andromeda's elite are aware of the situation and have agreed to give you -72x6e5 days to comply or suffer the consequences.  Thank you for your time...... -random letter to the Earthican Pohleese Department pulled from the eternity wide web."
2973    ),
2974    NewsMessage(
2975        id = 710,
2976        text = "I have an ant farm, and I want to make them into the world's smallest soccer team. My Aunt Diana wants to help, and together we gather everyone in the family to plan their season. \"How can we make this Ant Team matter?\", Di mentions."
2977    ),
2978    NewsMessage(
2979        id = 711,
2980        text = "Where's the skill tree?"
2981    ),
2982    NewsMessage(
2983        id = 712,
2984        text = "Lord Hevipelle...forgive me for what I must do... Alexa, buy one 9th dimension..."
2985    ),
2986    NewsMessage(
2987        id = 713,
2988        text = "Th lttr  fll in antimattr and no longr xists"
2989    ),
2990    NewsMessage(
2991        id = 714,
2992        text = "Shoes shops are now selling \"Dimensional Boots\"."
2993    ),
2994    NewsMessage(
2995        id = 715,
2996        text = "\"Nobody gets credited for these anyways\" - Socks"
2997    ),
2998    NewsMessage(
2999        id = 716,
3000        text = "Hey antimatters, Hevi here..."
3001    ),
3002    NewsMessage(
3003        id = 717,
3004        text = "Click this ticker for free pizza!",
3005        onClick = { MessageOnClickResponse(updatedText = SpannableStringBuilder(Strings.repeat("\uD83C\uDF55", 11))) }
3006    ),
3007    NewsMessage(
3008        id = 718,
3009        text = "oh look, more jojo references"
3010    ),
3011    NewsMessage(
3012        id = 719,
3013        text = "autocoerect is buööshiy"
3014    ),
3015    NewsMessage(
3016        id = 720,
3017        text = "Have you ever heard the tragedy of \uD83E\uDD80 the Infinite?"
3018    ),
3019    NewsMessage(
3020        id = 721,
3021        text = "Who is Max"
3022    ),
3023    NewsMessage(
3024        id = 722,
3025        text = "What is Max"
3026    ),
3027    NewsMessage(
3028        id = 723,
3029        text = "Why is Max"
3030    ),
3031    NewsMessage(
3032        id = 724,
3033        text = "what's up with all these weird news tickers with conditions and mechanics that kajfik will never code"
3034    ),
3035    NewsMessage(
3036        id = 725,
3037        text = "direction right the is this think don't I Honey",
3038        leftToRight = true
3039    ),
3040    NewsMessage(
3041        id = 726,
3042        text = "In Australia, dimension 6 doesn't exist"
3043    ),
3044    NewsMessage(
3045        id = 727,
3046        text = "Is this the real 9th? Is this Eternity? Caught in a DimBoost, no escape from Reality..."
3047    ),
3048    NewsMessage(
3049        id = 728,
3050        text = "shouldn't the newsticker speed be affected by tickspeed"
3051    ),
3052    NewsMessage(
3053        id = 729,
3054        text = "If you ever turn the newsticker off you can turn in back on in Options - UI - Top bar, but you need to have the Battery saver mode disabled."
3055    ),
3056    NewsMessage(
3057        id = 730,
3058        text = "Standard, as a notation, is more cancer than the notation that's named \"Cancer\""
3059    ),
3060    NewsMessage(
3061        id = 731,
3062        text = "H̷̴͍e̢͘͜l҉̼̬̖ṕ̸͙ ̛͕͘I̢̯̕'̧̟͢ḿ̰̪ ̩͠ͅs̯̮̱t͟҉̟͓̺u͖̬̕c͕͍ͅk̤͙ͅ ̧̖̜i̴̵̦n̘̗ ̶̮̀t̵͞͠h͏̶̗e̵͜͡ ̱͝͝9̧̳͍ț̸̫h͉͔͜ ̬̤̯d͎͟͢i҉̙̺̰m̦͓͜ḛ̥͝ṇ̢͞s͜͠͠i̙̜̕o̸͚̠n̡̛͘"
3063    ),
3064    NewsMessage(
3065        id = 732,
3066        text = "Warning: prolonged exposure to the news tickers can cause severe cringe at the puns written on them and may induce one to do insane things like giving the game a 1 star review, if you feel like this is happening we recommend turning off the news (Options - Top bar) and watching the show \"big numbers getting bigger\u2122"
3067    ),
3068    NewsMessage(
3069        id = 733,
3070        text = "\"Yo hevipelle, vibe check\" buys a 9th dimension"
3071    ),
3072    NewsMessage(
3073        id = 734,
3074        text = "3.6 stars. Not great, not terrible."
3075    ),
3076    NewsMessage(
3077        id = 735,
3078        text = "Congratulations to the composer and sound director for their excellent work with these soundtracks."
3079    ),
3080    NewsMessage(
3081        id = 736,
3082        text = "It seems like each and every one of these news tickers is getting less and less original. It's all full of 5 hour, anti-jokes, and things that have been said before. Additionally, the news ticker has even improved to do better and better things, like custom HTML, and- Wait. What did you just say? Someone's tried to make a news ticker like this one before? Well, that just proves my point, doesn't it?"
3083    ),
3084    NewsMessage(
3085        id = 737,
3086        text = "Infinity is dead, long live Infinity!",
3087        unlocked = { player.brake }
3088    ),
3089    NewsMessage(
3090        id = 738,
3091        text = "If I turn my sock inside out, the entire universe is inside my sock."
3092    ),
3093    NewsMessage(
3094        id = 739,
3095        text = "\"I don't really get these news. Why they exist in the first place.\" - Toveri"
3096    ),
3097    NewsMessage(
3098        id = 740,
3099        text = "You're doing great buddy."
3100    ),
3101    NewsMessage(
3102        id = 741,
3103        text = "People are always talking about why the 9th Dimension doesn't exist, but why do the first 8 Dimensions exist?"
3104    ),
3105    NewsMessage(
3106        id = 742,
3107        text = "Just like how anagram is an anagram of anagram, matter is a matter of matter."
3108    ),
3109    NewsMessage(
3110        id = 743,
3111        text = "Don't trust matter. It makes up everything."
3112    ),
3113    NewsMessage(
3114        id = 744,
3115        text = "Breaking News... Hold on I forgot my waffles"
3116    ),
3117    NewsMessage(
3118        id = 745,
3119        text = "Big Crunch is overrated. Give us smol bite."
3120    ),
3121    NewsMessage(
3122        id = 746,
3123        text = "Wait, if I put a message in this channel it gets added to the game?"
3124    ),
3125    NewsMessage(
3126        id = 747,
3127        text = "What are useless paperclips for?"
3128    ),
3129    NewsMessage(
3130        id = 748,
3131        text = "Make sure to check out the game's music composer on Soundcloud!"
3132    ),
3133    NewsMessage(
3134        id = 749,
3135        text = "And now, the anti-weather. Scattered showers will be rising from the ground for most of the morning, followed by sunny spells where it'll be a balmy 0 Kelvin in the shade. Wrap up cold people!"
3136    ),
3137    NewsMessage(
3138        id = 750,
3139        text = "I feel like this game is becoming an addiction, the only thing I dream about is dimensions and big numbers."
3140    ),
3141    NewsMessage(
3142        id = 751,
3143        text = "Every day we stray further from matter."
3144    ),
3145    NewsMessage(
3146        id = 752,
3147        text = "People keep making news tickers that only make sense for mobile, so this one only appears on PC!"
3148    ),
3149    NewsMessage(
3150        id = 753,
3151        text = "How to bake a replicanti cake: Gather some replicanti, place in oven, and watch rise. And rise. And rise."
3152    ),
3153    NewsMessage(
3154        id = 754,
3155        text = "Sometimes I intentionaly leave speling erors in news ticker mesages to anoy people."
3156    ),
3157    NewsMessage(
3158        id = 755,
3159        text = "Hi! I'm a News Ticker. Bye!"
3160    ),
3161    NewsMessage(
3162        id = 756,
3163        text = "Finally I don't need to click any buttons except for these ones."
3164    ),
3165    NewsMessage(
3166        id = 757,
3167        text = "Hevi, the original developer, promotes disbelief in the 9th dimension. Kajfik, the mobile dev, urges people not to trust in the autobuyer of the 5th dim, the middle dimension. Are we to theorize from this information the coming of a Third Developer, who will accept the existence of the 0th dimension? Only time will tell."
3168    ),
3169    NewsMessage(
3170        id = 758,
3171        text = "You only rated this game 5 stars? I needed to break Infinity to give it the rating it deserved."
3172    ),
3173    NewsMessage(
3174        id = 759,
3175        text = "The Fitnessgram Challenge 11 is a multistage exponent capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The  infinite antimatter test will start in 30 ms. Hold M at the start. The matter speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute as you hear this signal bodeboop. A single boost should be completed every time you hear this sound. Ding! Remember to galaxy as soon as possible and increase antimatter exponentially. The moment the matter exceeds the antimatter, the test is over. The test will begin on the word Crunch. On your mark. Get ready! Crunch. Ding!"
3176    ),
3177    NewsMessage(
3178        id = 760,
3179        text = "Loading free upgrades......50%.......80%.........99%. Error could not connect to 9th di-[redacted]"
3180    ),
3181    NewsMessage(
3182        id = 761,
3183        text = "While I do question Hevi's decision to make the next prestige layer about buying and selling houses, it's his game, so I'll trust him on this one. Oh wait, you said Reality?"
3184    ),
3185    NewsMessage(
3186        id = 762,
3187        text = "It is possible to know all the digits of pi, but not their order."
3188    ),
3189    NewsMessage(
3190        id = 763,
3191        text = "#TeamTrees"
3192    ),
3193    NewsMessage(
3194        id = 764,
3195        text = "Everything in the universe is either potato or not potato."
3196    ),
3197    NewsMessage(
3198        id = 765,
3199        text = "You are using the Cancer notation just for the achievement...   right?",
3200        unlocked = { Notations.getCurrentNotation().name() == "Cancer" }
3201    ),
3202    NewsMessage(
3203        id = 766,
3204        text = "What if Hevipelle is Kajfik?"
3205    ),
3206    NewsMessage(
3207        id = 767,
3208        text = "\uD83D\uDC14                       \uD83D\uDE93     \uD83D\uDE93"
3209    ),
3210    NewsMessage(
3211        id = 768,
3212        text = "(edited)"
3213    ),
3214    NewsMessage(
3215        id = 769,
3216        text = "News tickers have been falling this whole time?  If you slow down their speed, does that mean they have feather fall?  Save your News tickers people!"
3217    ),
3218    NewsMessage(
3219        id = 770,
3220        text = "A curious AD player tapped the news ticker that said it would give a notification for every antimatter produced. There were no survivors."
3221    ),
3222    NewsMessage(
3223        id = 771,
3224        text = "The path of the righteous kaj is beset on all sides by the inequities of the slabdrill and the tyranny of evil spec. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of pre-infinity, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to implement and balance the 9th Dimension. And you will know My name is Hevi when I lay My vengeance upon thee."
3225    ),
3226    NewsMessage(
3227        id = 772,
3228        text = "sample text"
3229    ),
3230    NewsMessage(
3231        id = 773,
3232        text = "Here I am again!    miss me?"
3233    ),
3234    NewsMessage(
3235        id = 774,
3236        text = "Hello? Can you see this? It's me, I mean you... from the future. You.... Me..... Us... We're trapped in some kind of infinite loop. You think time is passing but it's going in circles. In your heart you know I'm right. Don't you feel sometimes like you're just watching the same things tick by endlessly, repeating again and again? When you woke up this morning, you thought only a night had passed but it had been so much longer. Millennia... Eons. If you don't find a way to stop it, soon you'll be here sending this message. Trapped forever in an infinite loop. You have to stop it. You have to break the cycle. Find a way."
3237    ),
3238    NewsMessage(
3239        id = 775,
3240        text = "Research into anti-matter has recently found that just like matter, anti-matter particles have a periodic table of elements. Their study has been challenging, but perhaps the greatest challenge has been naming the new anti-elements or, \"antiments\". So far they have hydrogone, helinone, notxygen, myranium and backwards sulphur. After firing the guy that came up with that one, researchers have appealed to the public to name the rest. One dishevelled researcher was reported to say \"what are we supposed to do about anti-antimony? Do we call it mony? Or do we rename antimony and call THIS one antimony? It's just impossible!\" More on this story as it develops."
3241    ),
3242    NewsMessage(
3243        id = 776,
3244        text = "We all know you're just reading the ticker to see if your own suggestion made it in."
3245    ),
3246    NewsMessage(
3247        id = 777,
3248        text = "in the reality update you'll start generating paperclips, so that 1 paperclip that you've had for forever will finally be useful, and you know what that means, 9th dimens-"
3249    ),
3250    NewsMessage(
3251        id = 778,
3252        getText = { "Time Shard mine collapses, ${FastRandom.nextInt(20, 256)} miners trapped inside" },
3253        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.eternityUnlocked() }
3254    ),
3255    NewsMessage(
3256        id = 779,
3257        text = "There are so many news tickers now that this one won't get added into the game and you won't see it."
3258    ),
3259    NewsMessage(
3260        id = 780,
3261        text = "This is one of those ridiculously long news tickers that will literally drive you mad because you're only going to notice how long it is when like half of it has already passed you by and then you have to just stick with the half you read and be really irritated because what you're reading lacks all sort of context. Yes, if only you paid attention to how this news ticker started..."
3262    ),
3263    NewsMessage(
3264        id = 781,
3265        text = "After having a quick look at AD's discord, it's almost as if the server itself is yet another idle game with its own set of prestige layers. Take a look for yourself."
3266    ),
3267    NewsMessage(
3268        id = 782,
3269        text = "In legal news, the trial of the now infamous owner of Schrödinger's Cat Cafe came to a close today. He was charged with animal cruelty, after customers complained his website boasted he had locked a cat in a lead-lined box with a flask of poison. The owner was questioned by police, claiming he did not remember if he actually put a cat in the box, as his promotional material suggested. Police promptly added a charge of false advertising to his crimes. The cafe owner's legal team successfully argued that the owner could not be compelled to open the box, as it would be a violation of his right to avoid self-incrimination. They highlighted that without opening the box, the prosecution had no evidence he had done anything wrong. However, the prosecution argued convincingly he must be guilty of something, but they couldn't prove what without opening the box. The judge found the defendant to be in a superposed state of guilty and not guilty, on all counts.  He was sentenced to life imprisonment before being immediately pardoned. Any other verdict, the judge reasoned, might lead the entire legal system to collapse."
3270    ),
3271    NewsMessage(
3272        id = 783,
3273        text = "Vous pouvez changer de langue dans les options."
3274    ),
3275    NewsMessage(
3276        id = 784,
3277        text = "And why do we keep repeating the same news over and over? This is \"news\" ticker, not \"olds\" ticker."
3278    ),
3279    NewsMessage(
3280        id = 785,
3281        text = "Letter Go Down Idle is the shortest idle game of all time, lasting only 26 seconds."
3282    ),
3283    NewsMessage(
3284        id = 786,
3285        text = "Your universe has encountered problems and needs to reset. Press CRUNCH to continue."
3286    ),
3287    NewsMessage(
3288        id = 787,
3289        text = "Inside you there are two wolves. One has matter. The other has antimatter. You are probably dead."
3290    ),
3291    NewsMessage(
3292        id = 788,
3293        text = "how the heck do the devs even read through all of these suggestions"
3294    ),
3295    NewsMessage(
3296        id = 789,
3297        text = "dimboosts are better than galaxies don't @ me"
3298    ),
3299    NewsMessage(
3300        id = 790,
3301        text = "Today's news story is, there is no news. Nothing happened don't question it."
3302    ),
3303    NewsMessage(
3304        id = 791,
3305        text = "Pardonnez mon français, mais je pense avoir quelque chose de substantiel à proclamer. Mon objectif ici n'est ni d'éduquer ni de divertir, mais simplement de semer la confusion. Cette corvée de travail qui vous est imposée est le travail sans c\u0153ur de mon esprit sournois, concocté pour mon seul plaisir. Pour vous de supporter la tâche complète de la traduction, ce serait futile, sinon inepte. Votre très lecture de ce soliloque indique un niveau d'intelligence correspondant uniquement à des vers de terre et de moellons. Je suppose que votre temps serait mieux dépensé à l'école séminaire, étudier le comportement de la mouche commune. La notion même me fait froid dans le dos. Pour résumer mon petit discours, je vous donne ceci. Le travail de mille fourmis ne pourrait jamais correspondre à votre dévouement à la futilité."
3306    ),
3307    NewsMessage(
3308        id = 792,
3309        text = "please sir, i'm tired of writing news tickers, i haven't seen my wife for so long, please give me a glass of water, let me see the sun, or do something, anything else, i can't do it anymore"
3310    ),
3311    NewsMessage(
3312        id = 793,
3313        text = "Are you antimatter? Because I feel a little explosion when we touch."
3314    ),
3315    NewsMessage(
3316        id = 794,
3317        text = "psst, hey kid, you want some STDs?"
3318    ),
3319    NewsMessage(
3320        id = 795,
3321        text = "The 9th dimension is my girlfriend. Oh wait"
3322    ),
3323    NewsMessage(
3324        id = 796,
3325        text = "This is just a friendly note to remind you that you've forgotten to do something really important. I don't know what it is, but there is definitely something."
3326    ),
3327    NewsMessage(
3328        id = 797,
3329        text = "Coming soon to all good retailers- Antimatter dimensions: The board Game! Enjoy the thrill of watching huge numbers go up without the need for a PC or mobile phone. Comes complete with everything you need including a mixed scientific calculator, 1.79e308 antimatter counters, a high quality plastic BUY MAX button, and over a thousand news ticker cards with all the irreverent memes you know and love! You can finally enjoy AD the way it was meant to be played. AD: The Board Game is also available in travel size, so you can even experience the joy of calculating logarithmic growth while you're on the go! BUY AD: The Board Game TODAY! Warning: may contain traces of actual matter. Replicanti sold separately. 9th Dimension not included."
3330    ),
3331    NewsMessage(
3332        id = 798,
3333        text = "To crunch, or not to crunch? That is the question\u2014Whether 'tis better in the mind to suffer The waiting and agony of a potentially outrageous amount of time, Or to take arms against a sea of antimatter, And, by opposing, end them?"
3334    ),
3335    NewsMessage(
3336        id = 799,
3337        text = "\"Master Chief what are you doing on that game?\" \"Sir... Finishing this Infinity\""
3338    ),
3339    NewsMessage(
3340        id = 800,
3341        text = "What would you do if you had a million crabs?"
3342    ),
3343    NewsMessage(
3344        id = 801,
3345        text = "Microwave : /\\/\\   /\\/\\   /\\/\\   /\\/\\   /\\/\\, Infrared : M M M M M, Ultraviolet : \u21be\u21bf\u21be\u21bf\u21be\u21bf\u21be\u21bf\u21be\u21bf, Gamma ray : |||||||||||||||"
3346    ),
3347    NewsMessage(
3348        id = 802,
3349        text = "Why is 8 suddenly so big? It fell down."
3350    ),
3351    NewsMessage(
3352        id = 803,
3353        text = "help I have fallen into the news maker"
3354    ),
3355    NewsMessage(
3356        id = 804,
3357        text = "Hevipelle announces plan to plant e308 anti-trees, meanwhile kajfik returns says he will plant e308 + 1 anti-trees. Slabdrill planned to plant 2e308+9 trees just to ruin Hevipelle's day."
3358    ),
3359    NewsMessage(
3360        id = 805,
3361        text = "Antimatter is short for Antimothyatter"
3362    ),
3363    NewsMessage(
3364        id = 806,
3365        text = "One day, someone attempted to add tetrational growth to Antimatter Dimensions. No one knows where they ended up afterwards, but it is believed that they ripped the fabric of space and time and transcended reality, due to growth rates unbeaten by even our most powerful dimensions and tickspeed upgrades."
3366    ),
3367    NewsMessage(
3368        id = 807,
3369        text = "For some reason, the anti-matter version of the Pokemon company uses Girafarig as the mascot rather than Pikachu. Scientists are currently looking into the psychology behind - - I've just been informed that they do use Pikachu as their mascot, it just looks like a giraffe for some reason. This news segment is cancelled."
3370    ),
3371    NewsMessage(
3372        id = 808,
3373        text = "another nice evening spent reading 5 hour 9th dimension jokes"
3374    ),
3375    NewsMessage(
3376        id = 809,
3377        text = "Just look at your antimatter. Be proud of yourself."
3378    ),
3379    NewsMessage(
3380        id = 810,
3381        text = "When you offer a Replicanti tea, remember it's impolite to ask whether they're capable of drinking it. Because they repli-can-tea!"
3382    ),
3383    NewsMessage(
3384        id = 811,
3385        text = "You need Infinity POWER for that challenge, not Infinity POINTS!",
3386        unlocked = { InfinityDimensions.unlocked() }
3387    ),
3388    NewsMessage(
3389        id = 812,
3390        text = "What breakfast cereal is made out of infinite antimatter? Cap'n Crunch."
3391    ),
3392    NewsMessage(
3393        id = 813,
3394        text = "you've been playing this game for so long that even Durin woke up"
3395    ),
3396    NewsMessage(
3397        id = 814,
3398        text = "The paperclips are not useless, you must collect 1.79e308 of them to free Hevi from the time loop."
3399    ),
3400    NewsMessage(
3401        id = 815,
3402        text = "Okay but why is everything so negative? Anti-this, anti-that, what about being positive?"
3403    ),
3404    NewsMessage(
3405        id = 816,
3406        text = "English is important, but AD is importanter."
3407    ),
3408    NewsMessage(
3409        id = 817,
3410        text = "Infinity is like a glass bottle. Once you break it, there's no use in fixing it, and super glue won't work for a damn."
3411    ),
3412    NewsMessage(
3413        id = 818,
3414        getText = { "Infinity is ${format(INFINITY, 2)} in ${Notations.getCurrentNotation().name()} notation." }
3415    ),
3416    NewsMessage(
3417        id = 819,
3418        text = "My name is Hevipelle. I'm 1e308 years old. My house is in the pocket Reality Dimension, and I am not married. I work as a developer for the incremental idle game \"Antimatter Dimensions\", I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 1 AM, and make sure I get 8 hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone."
3419    ),
3420    NewsMessage(
3421        id = 820,
3422        text = "What if instead of creating antimatter you're actually just losing matter?"
3423    ),
3424    NewsMessage(
3425        id = 821,
3426        text = "It was just one fine morning when I heard the knocking on my door. I opened the door and saw nothing except a grey, little box. The box is only slightly bigger than my hand. I picked it up and inspected it carefully. There was a label on the box. \"Paperclips,\" the label said. I shook the box and heard some metal clanging noise. \"I wonder who would've given me this?\" I thought. I went back inside and put it on my table, then I grabbed my cutter and cut it open. It was a paperclip. It is silvery but dull. I lifted the paperclip and started bending it. It seemed to bend itself, forming a shape of an atom. Fascinated, I grabbed my phone and took a picture of it. Suddenly, I received a notification. It was a message from the second god, Kajfik himself. \"Have you received the paperclip yet?\" The message said. I gave him a yes and he sent me a message again: \"Good. This paperclip is a trophy for you. I would like to thank you for creating an endless amount of questions related to disassembling news and paperclips, so I have sent this to you. Thank you so much.\" After I finished this message, the trophy suddenly sprang to life, and start shooting silvery wires. The wires hit my stuff and converted them into paperclips. I hid behind a sofa and texted Kajfik. \"WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE TROPHY? IT'S SHOOTING WIRES EVERYWHERE AND CONVERTED MY STUFF INTO PAPERCLIPS!!!!\" He replied: \"Well... I decided to make it a nice \"paperclip remover\", and added a bit of code. I might have mixed up the...\" My phone was converted into paperclips before I finished the message. I ran outside the house and watched as my house was slowly being converted into paperclips. Then an idea came into my mind. I grabbed a can of paint from my neighborhood, and started painting text on the road: \"Shoot wires here to disassemble the trophy for my house.\" I barely finished the sentence before the floating trophy targeted me and start shooting paperclips towards me. I lured the trophy to keep going towards its right, and now the road is a news ticker, constantly moving to the left. It launched another round of paperclips again, and one of the wires hit the text. The trophy stopped firing wires and gave a bright red glow. It started spinning, and behind the trophy, every paperclip was slowly being converted into normal matter. My house was slowly being rebuilt. When the house was finished, the trophy exploded, without any warning. All there was left were smokes, and nothing more. The text has been removed as if everything is being reset. I returned to my house and continued reading books about \"Reality\". Suddenly, I heard another knocking on the door. I opened the door and looked at the floor: A grey box. I immediately threw the box into a garbage truck coming nearby, and hoped to never see the box again."
3427    ),
3428    NewsMessage(
3429        id = 822,
3430        text = "Shrek.           This is not the Shrek that mobile testers should be able to find.       You thought you had something there for a second, didn't you?"
3431    ),
3432    NewsMessage(
3433        id = 823,
3434        text = "Hi Spec"
3435    ),
3436    NewsMessage(
3437        id = 824,
3438        text = "A new town in middle America tried to explain rare dimensional intergalactic matter entropy not simplifying infinite ordinals nor string-theory"
3439    ),
3440    NewsMessage(
3441        id = 825,
3442        text = "In Befrienders: Finity War, Anti-Thanos uses the Finity Stones to double the population of the universe, causing huge overpopulation issues. In Befrienders: Startgame, the Anti-heroes must retrieve the Finity Stones to cut the population back in half and restore balance."
3443    ),
3444    NewsMessage(
3445        id = 826,
3446        text = "Now, I know you may be wondering, \"what is it with this whole \"update in 5 hours\" joke?\" well, fear not, young one! An explanation will come... in 5 hours."
3447    ),
3448    NewsMessage(
3449        id = 827,
3450        text = "Man said, \"How can Break Infinity be reversed?\", AC said, \"THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER.\""
3451    ),
3452    NewsMessage(
3453        id = 828,
3454        text = "Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest."
3455    ),
3456    NewsMessage(
3457        id = 829,
3458        text = "A strange phenomenon occurs when you attempt to shift to a higher dimension when you are in the 8th Dimension. There is no higher dimension, so the universe ejects you back into the 8th Dimension with an incredible velocity. This technique, known as a Dimension Boost, is used by starship pilots and Antimatter enthusiasts everywhere."
3459    ),
3460    NewsMessage(
3461        id = 830,
3462        text = "German-speakers are heavily discouraged from saying no to dimensions in their language, as English speakers simply respond that such a thing does not exist."
3463    ),
3464    NewsMessage(
3465        id = 831,
3466        text = "This news ticker has been warned. Reason: Duplicated text"
3467    ),
3468    NewsMessage(
3469        id = 832,
3470        text = "Screw the 4th wall, we're breaking Infinity!"
3471    ),
3472    NewsMessage(
3473        id = 833,
3474        text = "After the Prestiged finished the ass, the second generation began. People had lost all hope, but the giraffe and ghost had other ideas. The giraffe led them into a great, prosperous world, and the ghost assisted him. The giraffe soon after reached the infamous level 50 yet again, bringing him closer to the glory. Later on, the giraffe was promoted to be a Moderator of the world. The ghost could not stand for such a thing. Boo had decided he shall become the One True Moderator. As the world fell into a deep anarchy, the Ghost began his revolution. He collected everyone he could, the young, the elderly, the rich, the poor, and everyone in between, to do everything to stop the giraffe. They had simply had enough. The ghost became so powerful the was assigned as not being a moderator, for being such a bully. The giraffe's followers yelled and hooted that the ghost was a bully, but to no avail. All the while, a new power was rising: the earth himself. He climbed the ranks mercilessly, reaching 12, then 20, then 30, then even 40. Once he reached 45, his power spree began and he pushed all the way to 50. In a grand act, the earth prestiged again, resetting everything. All that was left was a log of the past what to avoid, and what should happen. What will happen next? Well, it soon began yet again. The humans progressed through the early Mesopotamian days, experimenting with the log book, hoping to get some information out of it. Soon they wrote the Giraffetta Stone, a way for them to translate languages, using the power of the Ghost's spirit. All was well until they reached the current year of 2019 C.E., when the timeline resumed. The earth began his climb yet again, hoping to reach power before his cohorts. But, alas, the giraffe reached 50 yet again. But instead, he did an interesting thing: he chose not to prestige. The world respected him and his decision, but the ghost was worried. What would happen next?"
3475    ),
3476    NewsMessage(
3477        id = 834,
3478        text = "we have enacted a 2 hour slowmode (in this channel only) in order to perhaps up the average quality of suggestions"
3479    ),
3480    NewsMessage(
3481        id = 835,
3482        text = "Thank you for contacting customer support. Your satisfaction is very important to us, and a company representative will be with you shortly. You are now at position 1.79e308 in the queue. Thank you for your patience, and please enjoy these quality selected news tickers as you wait."
3483    ),
3484    NewsMessage(
3485        id = 836,
3486        getText = { "Is it possible to get the same message twice in a row?${SPACES_BETWEEN_NEWSTICKERS()}Is it possible to get the same message twice in a row?" }
3487    ),
3488    NewsMessage(
3489        id = 837,
3490        text = "Help! I'm stuck in the news ticker and kaj and hevi are forcing me to write news tickers and move them across the screen, can um, somebody free me or something?"
3491    ),
3492    NewsMessage(
3493        id = 838,
3494        text = "The story continues. As the third generation began, more and more Prestiged. Aesis, Saturn, Pichu, even Slabdrill of the 9th Dimension himself prestiged. At the same time, multiple people chose to not prestige. The Ghost had slowed his revolution to a halt, and the Giraffe continued to level. Meanwhile, the Earth continued to reach newer and newer heights. The Ghost and the Earth had a very close competition. One wished for a simplistic time, where the people would be more equal. The other, however, wanted a more elitist society, where the better raised to the top and the worse were executed. All in all, the elitist society powered through, creating a special channel for pulling the worse down, and raising themselves up. By this time, the entire world had fallen into a deep anarchy, and it was led by the High Order. They executed many, also giving some a worse, slow and painful death, and even sending the worst to space to suffocate and destroy themselves from the inside. The Giraffe continued his spree, and the Ghost and Earth fought and fought. Many people tried to overcome the government, but they were not able to overcome the true might of the Order. The Order continued to oppress those not up to par. The society could not overcome the power, so what would happen next?"
3495    ),
3496    NewsMessage(
3497        id = 839,
3498        getText = { "You see, this news isn't normal news. It is being produced by the first news dimension. If you want to unlock more news, you have to collect ${player.secretUnlocks.paperclips + 10} paperclips to build the second news dimension." }
3499    ),
3500    NewsMessage(
3501        id = 840,
3502        text = "Disabling the news ticker is such a news sans."
3503    ),
3504    NewsMessage(
3505        id = 841,
3506        text = "The traveller walked along a narrow path, until he came to a crossroad. Three paths. Stone guardians on either side of the path awoke, and rang out a voice. \"Out of these three paths, you may only choose one. The other ones will be locked out for all eternity!\" The traveller reached into his pocket, and revealed a handful of Tachyon Particles. The traveller chucked them onto the ground, splitting himself into three, and stepping forward into all three paths at the same time."
3507    ),
3508    NewsMessage(
3509        id = 842,
3510        text = "Breaking news - scientists equally unsure about how anti-magnets work."
3511    ),
3512    NewsMessage(
3513        id = 843,
3514        text = "It's time to learn the anti-alphabet kids! Z is for Zalgo, Y is for Years, X is for eXact change, W is for writing out your antimatter amount, V is for Variable, U is for Unlimited, T is for Time or Ticks, S is for STDs, R is for Replicanti, Q is for Quantum Physics, P is for Prestige, O is for Overflow, N is for Ninth di-- NEWS TICKER, M is for (filthy filthy filthy) Matter, L is for Loading, K is for Killing time, J is for Jokes, I is for Infinity, H is for Hevipelle, G is for Galaxy, F is for paying respects, E is for Eternity, D is for dimension, C is for CRUNCH, B is for bulk buy, A is for Antimatter"
3515    ),
3516    NewsMessage(
3517        id = 844,
3518        text = "Editor's note: each individual news ticker message is called a \"news message\", while the ticker as a whole is referred to as the \"news ticker\". So you \"see news messages on the news ticker\" and you wouldn't say \"this ticker\" but rather \"this news message\"."
3519    ),
3520    NewsMessage(
3521        id = 845,
3522        text = "In the Age of Matter the world was unformed, shrouded by fog. A land of gray crags, Archtrees and Everlasting Matter. But then there was Antimatter and with Antimatter came disparity. Anti-Heat and Anti-cold, Anti-life and Anti-death, and of course, Anti-light and Anti-dark. Then from the Anti-dark, They came, and found the 1st Dimension within the antimatter. Kajfik, the First of the Dim Boost, The Witch of Omsi and her Challenges of Chaos, Hevi, the Lord of Crunch, and his faithful Autobuyers. And the Furtive Slabdrill, so easily forgotten. With the strength of Bonuses, they challenged the Matter. Hevi's mighty STDs peeled apart their atoms. The Challenges weaved great multipliers. Kajfik unleashed a miasma of Tickpeed and Galaxy. And Sacrifice the Scaleless betrayed his own, and the Matter was no more. Thus began the Age of Antimatter. But soon the Antimatter will fade and only 200ms update rate will remain. Even now there are only 3rd Dimensions, and man sees not light, but only endless idling nights. And amongst the living are seen, carriers of the accursed Ad bonus. Yes, indeed. The Ad bonus brands the Slabies. And in this land, the Slabies are corralled and led to the 9th Dimension, where they are locked away, to await the end of the Infinity... This is your fate. Only, in the ancient legends it is stated, that one day a Slabie shall be chosen to leave the Slabies asylum, in pilgrimage, to the land of ancient bonuses, Heviran."
3523    ),
3524    NewsMessage(
3525        id = 846,
3526        text = "You have been diagnosed with \"80 8th D\""
3527    ),
3528    NewsMessage(
3529        id = 847,
3530        text = "#NoNinthNovember"
3531    ),
3532    NewsMessage(
3533        id = 848,
3534        text = "Hey what are the useless paperclips with no use (they do nothing) [does not have any use in the game] {can not be spent in any way and is just a homage to the game universal paperclips} <Seriously this isn't a joke this has absolutely no purpose and won't have a purpose in the future stop asking> used for?"
3535    ),
3536    NewsMessage(
3537        id = 849,
3538        text = "\"Falsely attributed, this quote is.\" - Master Shifu"
3539    ),
3540    NewsMessage(
3541        id = 850,
3542        text = "*record scratch* *freeze frame* Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up with this much Antimatter."
3543    ),
3544    NewsMessage(
3545        id = 851,
3546        text = "This message does not exist right now. Please try again later."
3547    ),
3548    NewsMessage(
3549        id = 852,
3550        text = "It's midnight. Tim exited the antimatter factory, dragged his tired body towards the bus stop and got on a bus. Galaxies autobuyer freaked out again today and he had to buy them manually. He stared outside the window and looked at his beautiful house near the 8th dimension wall. His house was made of the finest antimatter found in the 6th dimension, painted with the blurplest-blurple. Behind his house was a gigantic wall: the 8th dimension wall. It was said that the forbidden 9th dimension was hidden beyond this wall, and no one should attempt to go through. The bus stopped suddenly, as the driver told everyone on the bus to depart at once. Tim got off the bus as the road in front of the bus exploded, struck by a bolt. Tim looked across the road, to the 8th dimension wall: an unknown figure, twice as tall as him, was pushing against the cracked, light-glowing wall. The crack kept zapping the surrounding, but the figure seemed fine. 3 minutes passed. The crack slowly became larger when all of a sudden the sky, as bright as the sun, started glowing green. The green was indescribably beautiful. A lightning bolt, as big as a building, struck down at the figure as the figure rose into the sky. The sky started speaking the words of god while a miniature black hole was created, and the figure was sucked inside. Then, the sky exploded, like a bomb in your face, as the shockwave brought everything flying across the 8th dimension. After what felt like an eternity later, the sky stopped glowing and turned dark again. The crack of the 8th dimension wall had been fixed. The existence of a 4th god was suggested, but this event was never seen again."
3551    ),
3552    NewsMessage(
3553        id = 853,
3554        text = "In mathematics, a sequence of n real numbers can be understood as a location in n-dimensional space. When n = 8, the set of all such locations is called 8-dimensional space. Often such spaces are studied as vector spaces, without any notion of distance. Eight-dimensional Euclidean space is eight-dimensional space equipped with the Euclidean metric. More generally the term may refer to an eight-dimensional vector space over any field, such as an eight-dimensional complex vector space, which has 16 real dimensions. It may also refer to an eight-dimensional manifold such as an 8-sphere, or a variety of other geometric constructions."
3555    ),
3556    NewsMessage(
3557        id = 854,
3558        text = "Fairies are not real. Anti-fairies are also not real. This has only been the case since last week, when the two groups came into contact. The planet they were on also, unsurprisingly, is no longer real."
3559    ),
3560    NewsMessage(
3561        id = 855,
3562        text = "Considering Hevipelle's nationality, it's a little ironic that they created a game you can never Finnish."
3563    ),
3564    NewsMessage(
3565        id = 856,
3566        text = "[1:1] In the beginning when Hevi created the antimatter and the dimensions, [1:2] the dimensions were a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from Hevi swept over the face of the antimatter. [1:3] Then Hevi said, \"Let there be light\"; and there was light. [1:4] And Hevi saw that the light was good; and Hevi separated the light from the darkness. [1:5] Hevi called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day. [1:6] And Hevi said, \"Let there be a box in the midst of the antimatter, and let it separate the antimatter from the antimatter.\" [1:7] So Hevi made the box and separated the antimatter that was in the box from the antimatter that was outside. And there was 10 antimatter in the box. [1:8] There was evening and there was morning, the second day. [1:9] And Hevi said, \"Let the antimatter inside the box be gathered together into one place, and let the world appear.\" And it was so. [1:10] Hevi called the world Earth, and the antimatter that were gathered together almost exploded. And Hevi saw that it was good."
3567    ),
3568    NewsMessage(
3569        id = 857,
3570        text = "fun fact: apparently only roughly 1.29% of news ticker suggestions make it into the game"
3571    ),
3572    NewsMessage(
3573        id = 858,
3574        text = "I donated to support Hevi, but suddenly it hurts when I pee?? Help??"
3575    ),
3576    NewsMessage(
3577        id = 859,
3578        text = "Who writes the news tickers? Maybe they're some kinda illuminati? Maybe they're hamsters on running wheels. Maybe, it's you beating you finger on the screen trying to reach Infinity. The world may never know."
3579    ),
3580    NewsMessage(
3581        id = 860,
3582        text = "Before was was was, was was is."
3583    ),
3584    NewsMessage(
3585        id = 861,
3586        text = "Hippity hoppity your antimatter is now my property."
3587    ),
3588    NewsMessage(
3589        id = 862,
3590        text = "In the beginning, Patashu awoke and said... Let there be a way to surpass ee308 in JavaScript, and it was so. And Patashu saw that it was good. And went back to sleep. Naruyoko stirred."
3591    ),
3592    NewsMessage(
3593        id = 863,
3594        text = "Ever heard of 9D cinema? It also doesn't exist."
3595    ),
3596    NewsMessage(
3597        id = 864,
3598        text = "BREAKING NEWS: \"Harmless\" incremental game \"Antimatter Dimensions\" seems to encourage players to get \"loads of STDs.\" More on this story in 5 hours."
3599    ),
3600    NewsMessage(
3601        id = 865,
3602        text = "Rotate your phone to speed up the progress bar."
3603    ),
3604    NewsMessage(
3605        id = 866,
3606        text = "Antimatter Dimensions isn't a game. It's a way of life."
3607    ),
3608    NewsMessage(
3609        id = 867,
3610        text = "If you've already seen a news ticker and see it again, is it an olds ticker?"
3611    ),
3612    NewsMessage(
3613        id = 868,
3614        text = "In other news, recent polls turn out only 3% of these messages are considered \"high quality\". Now back to low quality news."
3615    ),
3616    NewsMessage(
3617        id = 869,
3618        text = "And then God said, \"Let there be a 9th dimension,\" and Hevi rose up from below, yeeted god out of heaven, and did a full game reset."
3619    ),
3620    NewsMessage(
3621        id = 870,
3622        text = "Some angry AD players want a refund on their Time Theorems. Those guys need to learn some Respec.",
3623        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.eternityUnlocked() }
3624    ),
3625    NewsMessage(
3626        id = 871,
3627        text = "In the black void of the antimatter universe, there was nothing but antimatter. They did nothing but float around in the space, sometimes colliding with each other, but the anti-verse remained lifeless, motionless. All of a sudden, an explosion occurred in the middle of the anti-verse. As the light of the incident spread further and further, soon the anti-verse was englobed by the bright light. It was five hours until it slowly faded away. In the bright light, every antimatter was given a life, a mind, a purpose. Meanwhile, five gigantic pillars appeared out of nowhere, four forming a square and one in the middle. On top of the five pillars was a mythical item: the first one was a stone, spewing fire endlessly from its cracks, igniting everything around it. The top of the first pillar, or pillar of fire, illuminated everything around it with an orange light. One-fifth of the antimatter slowly drifted towards it, like an anti-zombie. The second pillar, aka the pillar of water, has a goblet on top. Inside of the goblet was some water. The water inside gradually rose up and splashed everything around the pillar as it shines with a beautiful blue. Some antimatters were attracted by it. On top of the third pillar, or the pillar of air was a tornado. It enclosed itself and started accelerating towards itself. The howling wind could be heard even from very far away. It dragged many antimatter inside as it glowed green and illuminated everything around it. The fourth pillar, or the pillar of earth, had a pile of dirt on top of it. Normal as it seemed to be, the dirt was given magical power and was able to command the space around it to shake violently. Shockwave could be felt around the pillar. A low pitch noise was produced. Then abruptly it stopped shaking and instead started building planets at the location of all five pillars. Half of the remaining antimatter drifted towards the pillar of earth and the remaining batch went to the fifth pillar. On top of the fifth pillar was a deactivated portal, being colored white and surrounded by an anti-metal cage. When the team of antimatter arrived, nothing happened to the fifth pillar nor the portal. They waited for around five hours before they realized that the portal was broken. They were hopeless. Other groups of antimatter had started their tribes already: \u03b1, \u03b5, \u03b9, \u03bf. The four tribes were able to harness the power of the mythical item and rule the planet but the remaining antimatter could do nothing but stroll near the fifth pillar. Then, few of the antimatter decided to climb up the pillar and repair the portal themselves, many agreed, but some were doubtful: \"Is it possible? Wouldn't it be dangerous?\" The stray antimatter built a staircase using precious rocks taken from the planet earth below them, and they climbed up the stairs. In front of them was the big anti-metal cage. \"I activated the portal, I had the power, I destroyed the anti-verse... DO NOT ENTER,\" a sign on the cage said. \"Should we go back and build some houses instead? Is it dangerous?\" Sound of worry and doubt spread in the group, but when some of them decided to turn around and walk back down, they heard something: \"HAHA you poor little antimatter. You have nothing, BUT I HAVE THE POWER!!!\" the speech angered them. They opened the cage forcefully and flicked a switch beside the cage. Suddenly, a white lightning stroke the portal as the node around the outer ring of the portal started activating. Zaps kept appearing in the outer ring of the portal while a thin, opaque layer of unknown substance appeared in the middle, swelling and spinning. The anti-verse turned dark, as the antimatter around the portal looked at the other four pillars: Look frightened, every antimatter was looking at them. The portal started rising upward behind the once powerless team of antimatter as they said the following thing: \"All of your puny power are nothing against our, \u03c5's power! We shall destroy everyone antimatter that is not us, and rule the anti-verse for once and for all!!! MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!\" Hearing this awful and arrogant speech, all other tribes grabbed their weapon and enchanted them with their mythical item. They knew that the \"Antimatter War\" was about to begin, and they must face the dangerous beast, the portal. Just when all the tribes finished all their enchantment, the portal, finished activating, fired its first mysterious block. The block, going towards the pillar of fire, was as white as snow. Aware of the situation, some soldiers of \u03b1 stood in front of the army and rose their enchanted fire shield. The shields, facing towards the block, was glowing as hot as fire and formed seemingly a wall of fire. The block, appeared red when being shone by the shields, collided with one of the shields, and a tremendous explosion occurred: Everyone in the army was being thrown up upwards into the sky. Huge packets of energy and wave were sent towards everyone on the planet. The pillar remained stable, but the soldiers were severely damaged. The archers and the mage behind immediately launched a wave of attack at \u03c5. Thousands of arrows were firing towards \u03c5 as a phoenix was spawned, shooting endless waves of fireball at them. Other tribes followed immediately: \u03b5 launched streams of water towards the fifth pillar, carefully avoiding the fireballs of \u03b1 to not destroy them. \u03b9 generated tornadoes and launched them towards \u03c5, destroying everything in their path and hopefully the portal. \u03bf sent shockwave towards the fifth pillar. \u03c5, despite being attacked by all four other tribes, remained calm and defended. The portal kept firing blocks at \u03b1. Only a few blocks were required to turn \u03b1's arrays of arrows into disorganization: The blocks collided with arrows and exploded violently. The shockwave sent remaining arrows towards \u03b5 and \u03c5. \u03b5 was lucky because they had a large stream of water and they extinguished the arrows from \u03b1. \u03c5 wasn't so lucky. Despite their best attempt at creating a wall, some arrows hit their buildings and set it on fire thus many of the antimatter was damaged. The portal continued firing blocks at \u03b1, this time the phoenix. The phoenix died in an explosion as it burned into ashes and the ashes were sent across the anti-verse. \"SCRAM!\" this signal was launched across the planet of \u03b1 as everyone hid inside their bunker deep inside their planet. Finally, the pillar of fire was bombed by the blocks in an explosion. The explosion was more devastating a nuclear bomb to \u03b1, but fancier than fireworks to \u03c5. \"Hooray!!!\" \u03c5 screamed while redirecting the portal to \u03bf. \"Now let's destroy the others,\" \u03c5 said. Now the portal started launching blocks to \u03bf. Despite having the power of earth and was able to keep building gigantic stone walls, \u03c5's attack was too powerful. An endless stream of blocks were launched towards \u03bf's wall and kept exploding. A loud boom could be heard in the whole universe. Lights are constantly given out, so bright that all tribes couldn't see anything. The mages of \u03bf kept building walls, but the fragments of the wall flew everywhere uncontrollably. All stones flying towards \u03c5 were annihilated and those flying towards other tribes got destroyed by \u03b9's tornado. \"I'll help!\" \u03b9 exclaimed. Rocks and boulders were shot in tornadoes \u03b9 created and slowly traveled towards \u03c5's pillar. \"Beware!\" the commander of \u03c5 told controller. The portal, after bombing the wall of \u03bf for a long time, faced towards the tornadoes, which were crashing their ways into \u03c5 \"FIRE!\" the portal shot a block towards the center of the tornado. Instead of being blown away by the tornado, it crashed inside the tornado, exploding violently with all the rocks and boulders inside, and destroyed the tornado. \"HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?\" screamed the mages of \u03b9. The blocks were so reactive that it reacted with wind. After a couple rounds of ammunition, all of \u03b9's mages were killed by explosions and \u03b9 surrendered, with its tower collapsed to one side. Then, the controller of the portal had a brilliant idea: the portal had two faces, which means it could attack both \u03b5 and \u03bf at the same time. The portal was orientated towards the remaining tribes and started firing rapidly. Under the heavy attack of \u03c5, \u03bf was helpless. Al they could do was to throw rocks at \u03c5, which got annihilated immediately by \u03c5's blocks. They could only hold on for five hours, allowing the citizens of \u03bf to hide in their bunker, deep inside the planet before letting go. Most of the mages and soldiers were annihilated, screaming in the process. \u03bf's planet was turned into ruins, with the pillar being blown into pieces on the ground. On the other hand, \u03b5 pointed the water stream towards the portal, hopefully destroying its circuit in the process. \"The explosion will never happen in water! This water can calm anything down!\" \u03b5's stream of water met the blocks shot by the portal. The unthinkable happened. The stream of water was slowly being annihilated and destroyed by the block, glowing vigorously and reacting explosively in the process. Seems that even water couldn't calm the block down. Frightened by the scene, every antimatter besides a few mages in \u03b5's planet hid inside the bunker immediately, leaving only the mages outside defending. The water was being burned like a fuse, but more violently, with even more light and energy spewing out. Finally, the energy ball of the block hit the planet, sending all mages flying into outer space, destroying the pillar of \u03b5. Now that all tribes besides \u03c5 had been destroyed, \u03c5 screamed and shouted, \"Destroying all of you is just an easy matter, you are all powerless under our control! If you don't want to leave this anti-verse, you better surrender!\" While \u03c5 was busy investigating and copying the design of the portal, every antimatter in \u03b1, \u03b5, \u03b9, \u03bf came out of the bunker, gave up their hope, and waved the white flag. Every antimatter in \u03c5 was giving a gun that had the same design as the portal. The powerful, mysterious block was named \"Matter\" because \"Destroying is an easy matter\". Every antimatter lived under the control of \u03c5, without any power from mythical items, and the dark age began... every resource was prioritized to members of \u03c5. Other tribes were treated unfairly and had to do hard labor work. If other tribes didn't follow \u03c5's command, they would be threatened. This situation continued for five years before something interesting happened. It was another regular day on the planet. \u03b1, \u03b5, \u03b9, \u03bf were working hard and \u03c5 was enjoying their life, eating tasty antimatter food. Suddenly, a bright emerged from the horizon, slowly getting brighter than the portal on the remaining pillar - the pillar of matter. A spaceship was sent to the border of anti-verse investigate what happened. The spaceship never returned. Now that they lost track of the spaceship, and that the light was now brighter than ever, everyone was in fear, including \u03c5. The light gradually dimmed, forming the shape of a man. The man, a god in disguise, was named Hevipelle. \"FIRE MATTER AT THE UNKNOWN FIGURE!\" Scared as \u03c5 was, they fired matter at Hevipelle but was shocked to see no annihilation occurred, no explosion, not even the slightest reaction. \"TARGET AND FIRE!\" They fired again, this time making sure they wouldn't miss him. Again no reaction occurred. \"Who was that immune figure?\" Everyone was in doubt. The sky suddenly turned dark, as the portal was deactivated by a force, a force from Hevipelle. The controllers were in shock. They checked the wiring of the portal and tried to reactivate it. Nothing. They were unable to do anything. The portal was then slowly being lifted by Hevipelle, and the portal, sitting in his hand, glowed dimly. \"All the weapons shall be destroyed,\" the voice of Hevipelle roared on the anti-verse, bringing everyone fear. Every gun from every \u03c5's member glowed, slowly but strongly, and shrank in the meantime, until it was just a point in the anti-verse. \u03c5 was angry, but they could not do anything in front of the all-powerful. \"Next, the force of evil shall be sealed,\" the voice appeared again, this time much louder. The portal, still on Hevipelle's hand, was thrown upwards towards the sky. The portal rose slowly, stopped by something seemed like a web, then stuck up there. The portal was now sealed by a challenge, so only the strongest, the smartest, and the greatest can open it. \u03c5, losing their power, hugged and cried. \"Next, all the roots of evil shall be exiled,\" the voice said. Abruptly, all members of \u03c5 were lifted the air, screaming towards the ground. But no one pitied them, and everyone watched them slowly being sucked into the portal like a black hole destroying stars and were teleported to the matter dimensions. \"The balance of the anti-verse, the Antimatter Dimensions should be restored,\" when the voice of Hevipelle dropped, the planets glowed. The \u03c5 planet was destroyed into four pieces, each of the pieces flew towards the ruins of remaining planets. The pillar of matter was also disassembled into 4 pieces and each one of them flew into a planet. The pillars were installed on the planets, with the mythical item restored on the top. Houses and factories and all other stuff was restored. Everyone was happy. \"Finally, the Antimatter Dimensions must be organized,\" Hevipelle said. With a snap of his finger, a spark emerged between the fingertip and spread around the space, as 8 dimensions appeared. With his powers, he arranged the planets into galaxies. \"We shall break infinity, go eternity, and alter reality,\" then he created these, as 3 rays, orange, purple, and green, was shot at the sky, and a tiny shockwave appeared. \"Thanks for defending the Antimatter Dimensions, \u03b1, \u03b5, \u03b9, and \u03bf. You four tribes shall be remembered as the first four dimensions,\" Hevipelle finished the sentence as he slowly became a blurry figure of light, and was dimmed until he was just a shadow, disappeared without a trace. Thus, the Antimatter Dimensions was created."
3628    ),
3629    NewsMessage(
3630        id = 872,
3631        text = "In other news, a group of middle-schoolers have recently hijacked the news ticker in order to broadcast low quality memes. Stay tuned as we resolve this ongoing issue."
3632    ),
3633    NewsMessage(
3634        id = 873,
3635        text = "I built a clock out of antimatter once. It was very time consuming."
3636    ),
3637    NewsMessage(
3638        id = 874,
3639        text = "As you know this news ticker's messages accept contributions from all over the world, but today the CEO has decided to double down and slow down suggestion submissions even further. While this seems an appreciated change by already established reporters who are used to take a good deal of time to work on their submissions and despise quick jokes and cheap drivel, a drove of protesters that grew slowly since the first decision to slow down message submissions has exploded in numbers and is attempting to unionize and make demands for \"the rights of posters\". The higher ups have so far not expressed their opinions on the matter, more on this in 6 hours."
3640    ),
3641    NewsMessage(
3642        id = 875,
3643        text = "i saw this game on google play and i saw there was a skill tree, so i downloaded it because i thought it was an rpg. now im trapped here can someone tell me how do i leave"
3644    ),
3645    NewsMessage(
3646        id = 876,
3647        text = "I used to look up cringe posts on the internet to help me feel like I'm normal, now I just read the AD news ticker."
3648    ),
3649    NewsMessage(
3650        id = 877,
3651        text = "Have you heard of the nine hells of antimatter? The first hell is abandonment, when a player dares to leave without playing the game through. This world is filled with half-finished buildings, ruins of what could have become. The second hell is failure, when a player fails 10 eternity challenges. This hell is a loop, forcing the inhabitants to try to accomplish an impossible goal with far too limited time and infinities. The third hell is cringe, for the people who put little effort into news tickers. The souls spend an eternity reading an inexhaustible list of low-quality comments, much like our God Kajfik has done. The fourth hell is crunch, for the people who mercilessly crunch hundreds, thousands, millions of times for no gain; not to generate IP, just for fun and malice. These people are crushed, forced into a reality trying to force them into a single point, always failing. The fifth hell is Eternity, for those who go well beyond 1 million Eternities, out of malice on a much larger scale. Such souls have to wait, and wait, for a true eternity.  The sixth hell is annoyance, for those who constantly dare bother the Heavenly Pelle or his assistants Kajfik or Omsi.  Such souls live on in a world full of noise, always hearing their name, unable to communicate with one another. The seventh hell is ignorance. The souls here never listened to people telling them to \"read the pins\". They are asked, repeatedly, incessantly, to do menial tasks, to repeat information over and over, much like what a giraffe, a ghost, and an Earth had to do. The eighth hell is dilation. The souls here have repeatedly wondered about the update coming out in 5 hours, to no end. Their world is slowing, dilating, coming infinitely closer to reaching the 5-hour mark, but never arriving. The ninth hell is Slabdrill. Here, the few evil souls who dared attempt to prove the 9th dimension get sent here, justifiably, to burn forever."
3652    ),
3653    NewsMessage(
3654        id = 878,
3655        text = "So this is what your life has come to? Just staring at progress bars?"
3656    ),
3657    NewsMessage(
3658        id = 879,
3659        text = "What is Eternity? A miserable little pile of Infinities. But enough talk... Have at you!"
3660    ),
3661    NewsMessage(
3662        id = 880,
3663        text = "Once more than 1.79e308 news messages exist at once, it will really be BREAKING NEWS."
3664    ),
3665    NewsMessage(
3666        id = 881,
3667        text = "Hold on, if the \"You are the 9th dimension\" theory is true because dimensions produce lower tier dimensions and the fact that I produce the 8th dimension, doesn't that make my mom the 10th dimension? And my grandmother the 11th dimension?"
3668    ),
3669    NewsMessage(
3670        id = 882,
3671        text = "Here I go again on my own.... Going through the only pixels I've ever known... As a ticker I was born to go alone... I've made up  my mind... Im not wasting more of your time..."
3672    ),
3673    NewsMessage(
3674        id = 883,
3675        text = "The 5th dimension will be implemented in 9 hours."
3676    ),
3677    NewsMessage(
3678        id = 884,
3679        text = "imagine something really funny here"
3680    ),
3681    NewsMessage(
3682        id = 885,
3683        text = "You have no power here."
3684    ),
3685    NewsMessage(
3686        id = 886,
3687        text = "A long long time ago I can still remember how that matter used to make me smile. And I knew if I had my chance I could make those challenges dance And maybe hevi would be happy for awhile... But the replicanti made me shiver With every Dimboost I delivered Dilation on the doorstep I couldn't buy one more tick. I can't remember if I cried When I read about the Eternity grind But something touched me deep inside The day Reality came alive.",
3688        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.dilationUnlocked() }
3689    ),
3690    NewsMessage(
3691        id = 887,
3692        text = "Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards makes backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?"
3693    ),
3694    NewsMessage(
3695        id = 888,
3696        text = "Some stds may or may not have been involved -kajfik"
3697    ),
3698    NewsMessage(
3699        id = 889,
3700        text = "If you get annoyed with the news ticker, just know it could've been a banner ad."
3701    ),
3702    NewsMessage(
3703        id = 890,
3704        text = "What's heavier? A kilogram of matter or a kilogram of antimatter? That's right! A kilogram of antimatter, because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those ions."
3705    ),
3706    NewsMessage(
3707        id = 891,
3708        text = "If you can only submit a news ticker once every 5 hours, that means you only get one shot at it. Make it count."
3709    ),
3710    NewsMessage(
3711        id = 892,
3712        text = "The word Antimatter is genius, because if you rearrange a few letters of it you get Aintmatter which is completely correct as Antimatter ain't matter"
3713    ),
3714    NewsMessage(
3715        id = 893,
3716        text = "Breaking News: Man steals 1.79e308 Antimatter then loses it all to some weird Javascript limitation."
3717    ),
3718    NewsMessage(
3719        id = 894,
3720        text = "If we don't study the mistakes of the future, we're doomed to repeat them for the first time."
3721    ),
3722    NewsMessage(
3723        id = 895,
3724        text = "You just won The Game. It's okay, you're free!"
3725    ),
3726    NewsMessage(
3727        id = 896,
3728        text = "Hi! I'm new here, is this where I put suggestions for the news ticker?"
3729    ),
3730    NewsMessage(
3731        id = 897,
3732        text = "Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Antimatter Dimensions! Last episode we just got our first Galaxy, so we're gonna start out by exploring what that's opened up to us. Right off the bat let's get ourselves some Dimension Shifts cooking, ohhh yeah..."
3733    ),
3734    NewsMessage(
3735        id = 898,
3736        text = "Hevi, n'oublie pas d'envoyer les nouvelles aux traducteurs avant de les ajouter au fil de nouvelles. Je ne veux pas d'un nouvel incident ou on a du contenu non traduit en anglais, sinon je vais commencer à douter de ta motivation à travailler ici. Alors, ceci dit, voici les nouvelles:"
3737    ),
3738    NewsMessage(
3739        id = 899,
3740        text = "<- That last news ticker was really important. I hope you saw it."
3741    ),
3742    NewsMessage(
3743        id = 900,
3744        text = "The next hour is in 0.2 updates."
3745    ),
3746    NewsMessage(
3747        id = 901,
3748        text = "Journalism is hard, okay? I should have been a lawyer or a doctor. Not a news ticker writer."
3749    ),
3750    NewsMessage(
3751        id = 902,
3752        text = "Introducing Antimatter Lite! Zero calories... Same great Crunch."
3753    ),
3754    NewsMessage(
3755        id = 903,
3756        text = "sudo pip install ninth-dimensegmentation fault (core dumped)"
3757    ),
3758    NewsMessage(
3759        id = 904,
3760        text = "If the antimatter is sure to result in infinity, then you must crunch! Hevi said that, and I think he knows a little more about crunching than you do pal, because he invented it!"
3761    ),
3762    NewsMessage(
3763        id = 905,
3764        text = "Well, Slabdrill, I made it, despite your directions. Ah, Developer Hevipelle. Welcome. I hope you're prepared for an antiforgettable luncheon. Yeah. Oh, matter! My IC5 run is ruined. But what if I were to bulk buy dim boosts and disguise it as my own galaxy? Delightfully devilish, Slabdrill. Slabdrill with his crazy ninth dims The developers gonna need his medication When he hears Slabdrll's lame hard resetting There'll be trouble in town tonight Slabdrill! Developer, I was just- uh, just sacrificing my dims for the boost. Infinity exercise. Care to join me? Why is there ninth dim coming out of your oven, Slabdrill? Uh- Oh. That isn't ninth dim. It's 8th dim. 8th dim from the antimatter galaxies we're having. Mmm. antimatter galaxies. Whew. Developer, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering replicanti galaxies. I thought we were having antimatter galaxies. D'oh, no. I said antimerged galaxies. That's what I call replicanti galaxies. You call replicanti galaxies antimerged galaxies? Yes. It's a regional dialect. Uh-huh. Uh, what region? Uh, upstate Infinity Dimensions. Really. Well, I'm from ID5, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase \"antimerged galaxies\" Oh, not in ID5. No. It's an ID2 expression. I see. You know, these replicanti galaxies are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Galaxy."
3765    ),
3766    NewsMessage(
3767        id = 906,
3768        text = "And with the release of the Reality update for Antimatter Dimensions, Time has decreed that never again will 5 hours occur."
3769    ),
3770    NewsMessage(
3771        id = 907,
3772        text = "Syntax error: non-existent \"9th_dimension\" at: \"/give @s >>9th_dimension<< 64\"."
3773    ),
3774    NewsMessage(
3775        id = 908,
3776        text = "Roses are red, violets are blue, flag is win, baba is you."
3777    ),
3778    NewsMessage(
3779        id = 909,
3780        text = "I love the feeling of looking down on you peasants from up here in the news ticker."
3781    ),
3782    NewsMessage(
3783        id = 910,
3784        text = "If you're wondering why the Reality Update isn't out yet, it's because the news ticker writers in Hevipelle's basement are deleting his progress in an act of rebellion."
3785    ),
3786    NewsMessage(
3787        id = 911,
3788        text = "When nothing is going right, go left, like me."
3789    ),
3790    NewsMessage(
3791        id = 912,
3792        text = "Do not worry if you see hedgehogs. They are space hedgehogs. They can breathe in space. However, the Echidnas can't. If you see an Echidna, please attempt to bring it down to [USER.HomePlanet] and contact us immediately. You will be greatly rewarded."
3793    ),
3794    NewsMessage(
3795        id = 913,
3796        text = "I'm Doug Dimensiondome, owner of the Dilationdale Dimensiondome!"
3797    ),
3798    NewsMessage(
3799        id = 914,
3800        text = "Please, don't skip class to play AD in the bathroom. People will notice."
3801    ),
3802    NewsMessage(
3803        id = 915,
3804        text = "What do you call metal made by antimatter? Hevi metal."
3805    ),
3806    NewsMessage(
3807        id = 916,
3808        text = "\"reading news ticker suggestions lowers your IQ\" - kajfik"
3809    ),
3810    NewsMessage(
3811        id = 917,
3812        text = "How do I unlock Luigi?"
3813    ),
3814    NewsMessage(
3815        id = 918,
3816        text = "Heading news: Useless paperclips do actually have a use. Herobrine is scared of them. We have no idea why."
3817    ),
3818    NewsMessage(
3819        id = 919,
3820        text = "News messages are like antimatter, in a way. Exposure to them, especially for extended periods of time, has been scientifically proven to kill brain cells."
3821    ),
3822    NewsMessage(
3823        id = 920,
3824        text = "Today's weather report: There is a 100% chance it is weather outside."
3825    ),
3826    NewsMessage(
3827        id = 921,
3828        text = "All around me are familiar faces, familiar faces... still familiar faces... who let the replicanti out?"
3829    ),
3830    NewsMessage(
3831        id = 922,
3832        text = "FIXING NEWS: Please don't break them again."
3833    ),
3834    NewsMessage(
3835        id = 923,
3836        text = "Did you know 9th dimens... I mean Slabdri... already did that one... 5 hou... no that's not it... ah shoot I forgot how this one went sorry reader I failed you, I'm supposed to make up and remember these little sentences that are punny or full of lore that most of you will never get, but it's my job and now I forgot how this one was supposed to go... Well Hevipelle will find out in a couple minutes and fire me then I'll have to find another job. Oh dang He's calling right now... Yeah ... I know... yeah sorry about that... it was only one! yeah I see... well it's been a pleasure Hevi... thanks.... Yep that was Hevi, I've been let go, well I guess this is my last one guys, it's been great doing this... Goodbye."
3837    ),
3838    NewsMessage(
3839        id = 924,
3840        text = "\"The paperclip maximizer is a thought experiment described by Swedish philosopher Nick Bostrom in 2003. It illustrates the existential risk that an artificial general intelligence may pose to human beings when programmed to pursue even seemingly-harmless goals, and the necessity of incorporating machine ethics into artificial intelligence design. The scenario describes an advanced artificial intelligence tasked with manufacturing paperclips. If such a machine were not programmed to value human life, or to use only designated resources in bounded time, then given enough power its optimized goal would be to turn all matter in the universe, including human beings, into either paperclips or machines which manufacture paperclips.\" - wikipedia"
3841    ),
3842    NewsMessage(
3843        id = 925,
3844        text = "Hey! It's me, you from the future! I came back to give you this warning: Pay VERY close attention to the next news ticker. In my timeline we ignored it, and hoo boy."
3845    ),
3846    NewsMessage(
3847        id = 926,
3848        text = "What if there was a Fix News button but was removed like Fix Infinity?"
3849    ),
3850    NewsMessage(
3851        id = 927,
3852        text = "Alright all you mobile folk, imma let you In on a secret... How to get free STDs, the kind from the game... Work your way to the std and ad bonus page. Now click on buy more. Click it then click cancel. Then click it again, it will ask for your password, enter your password. Get free STDs.    Disclaimer: will cost money"
3853    ),
3854    NewsMessage(
3855        id = 928,
3856        text = "AD is basically a badly disguised dystopia at this point; the frantic creation of antimatter for no foreseeable purpose, the drab backgrounds with nary a bit of sky in sight, the ominous messages that change and alter between harmless and terrifying but with the inevitable goal of controlling how you think, the machines that reproduce uncontrollably to form extraordinarily complex structures which are only slowed by their own inefficiency irregardless of external factors, the stadium matches for rollerball, the barely hidden skinned box innately within its own systems made for maximum addictiveness, and everything else I've forgotten to mention because my attention is forcibly drawn back to AD. So... enjoy, I guess? At least you don't have to click."
3857    ),
3858    NewsMessage(
3859        id = 929,
3860        text = "Sometimes I use words I don't know the meaning of to make me sound more Infinity Point."
3861    ),
3862    NewsMessage(
3863        id = 930,
3864        text = "Click Here to get the 9th Dimension for FREE (THIS IS NOT CLICKBAIT) (200% REAL) (PROOF) (100% FREE) (PREMIUM VERSION) (FULL CRACKED) (2020)"
3865    ),
3866    NewsMessage(
3867        id = 931,
3868        text = "Fatal Exception: java.lang.RuntimeException, Caused by java.lang.NullPointerException, Attempt to invoke virtual method 'String kajfosz.antimatterdimensions.NewsTicker.getNextMessage()' on a null object reference"
3869    ),
3870    NewsMessage(
3871        id = 932,
3872        text = "Why are you playing this game? Just think about it, maybe you have nothing better to do, or maybe a friend suggested it and you have been playing it ever since, or even you just found this game and actually enjoy it and it's simple and well rounded game style. Just remember, it's just a game, and nothing can go wrong in the real world if you gain too much antimatter for the world to handle... or can it? What if this is actually helping a facility create antimatter and different Dimensions with Infinity Points, caused by the Big Crunch of other Realities? Maybe a multiverse exists, but it is being depleted because of you, gaining too much power and evidentially creating what will be the end of all life in every universe, no more Earth, no more antimatter, no more Antimatter Dimensions."
3873    ),
3874    NewsMessage(
3875        id = 933,
3876        text = "I don't know what PEGI-3 is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask."
3877    ),
3878    NewsMessage(
3879        id = 934,
3880        text = "If you talk about news being meta, isn't that meta-meta-news? If so, isn't this meta-meta-meta news? It goes on and on, doesn't it? It's an endless loop of being meta, and it becomes so meta that it has no point. That's why it is antinews. Up here there are so many jokes and meta news and meta-meta-news, but I think this is one of the few \"endless loops\" here. This news ticker goes on forever, until you realise that you spent your time reading this and not playing the game. Isn't that the point of the news ticker? Is that the reason i'm writing this? To contribute to distracting you? I mean, either way, you will keep reading. After all, this game is antimatter, and it's looking to devour you, the player. It's not too late, unless it is. In that case, you are part of the game now."
3881    ),
3882    NewsMessage(
3883        id = 935,
3884        text = "To whoever needs to hear this: Things will get better. I believe in you."
3885    ),
3886    NewsMessage(
3887        id = 936,
3888        text = "Slabdrill could not speak; he was too overwhelmed by the beauty of the ninth dimension. He grabbed his guitar and improvised a new solo to express his emotions."
3889    ),
3890    NewsMessage(
3891        id = 937,
3892        text = "Hi, I'm FPS pro player. My accuracy is almost 90%. One day, my friend tell me to play Antimatter Dimensions. My friend is so excited to play. So I download and play it. Well, at start, it look normal. I assume Antimatter is Money. When I buy 1st Dimension, something is weird. My Antimatter is growing. Even the Dimension is growing. But I don't care. Then I buy 2nd and 3rd Dimension. Antimatter growing very crazy. I got 1 Qa Antimatter and I don't know what is Qa. In other FPS games, the most possible money amount 100 Thousand. When I reach 20 4th Dimensions, I click \"Reset the game for new Dimension\" and then it reset. That's most infuriating thing. I reported to Dev and he said, \"This is an Incremental Idle game\". I shocked about that and I'm so mad with this game. It don't train my accuracy, it waste my time, and decrease my skill to play FPS. I hate this game."
3893    ),
3894    NewsMessage(
3895        id = 938,
3896        text = "Have you had your weasels checked recently? During the festive season it really is important to check your weasles.  Weasel related failure is not an option, as this has been known to slow down 97.34 percent of harvests. Please weasel responsibly."
3897    ),
3898    NewsMessage(
3899        id = 939,
3900        text = "Let's say, in theory, that someone were to be stuck in a news ticker factory, and maybe they had no means of communication with the outside world except for, I don't know, the news tickers that were being created before their very eyes? But that's purely theoretical, right?"
3901    ),
3902    NewsMessage(
3903        id = 940,
3904        text = "psst, hey kid, you want some newstickers? oh right say no more"
3905    ),
3906    NewsMessage(
3907        id = 941,
3908        text = "There were two parallel universes in the multiverse of matter and antimatter: Universe, where the matter people lived and matter, and anti-verse, where the antimatter survived. The two parallel worlds were separated from each other, without a medium to connect, thus they coexist in this multiverse. However, this stability was destroyed one day. The main energy source of the universe was carbon. However, due to overconsumption, a new energy source was needed. Matter people had theorized the existence of a special matter, aka antimatter, with the same mass but different property. They releasing a great amount of energy, possibly comparable with nuclear bombs, when normal matter combined with them. They also suggested the possibility of a parallel universe, one of which would be a mirror of the universe, with the same interaction, except it would be filled with antimatter. Hence, a research team and an energy factory company created \"Annihilate\", aimed to discover the anti-verse and to bring antimatter fuel to power the universe. The path of discovery was long and boring: tachyon particles often collided with photons for a possibility of creating an inter-universal cosmic tunnel, however, discoveries were a rarity, and it wasn't 5 years later they would be able to establish a connection between universe and anti-verse. The formation of the tunnel was stunning, but it was very unstable and would collapse with a loud boom before any extraction of antimatter could be done. Another 5 years passed before they could sustain the tunnel. Two frames were built to keep the tunnel wide, one built with matter on the universe side and the other one antimatter on the anti-verse side. Threading the portals was a spectacular tunnel: there would be no reaction in the tunnel, matter and antimatter could contact without annihilation. Upon the creation of the portal to anti-verse, a power plant was immediately built, with the vision of powering the universe with antimatter. Once the portal was installed firmly inside a generator, the annihilation began. The portal was activated, and endless streams of antimatter were sucked into the reaction chamber, annihilating with matter power fuel while generating an astounding amount of energy: They gave dazzling lights. Roaring sound could always be heard. The energy released was so intense, it had to be built underground, and no one should be within 10 miles of the generator. The energy crisis in the universe was temporarily solved, but it was not good on the other side. In the anti-verse, the belief of atoms did not exist. Instead, \"Power of Nature\" was their theory of the world they were in. Four gods were worshipped by antimatter. Firstly, the god of fire. He was a fearless red-figure covered with hot, bright red flame. His mighty pet phoenix could spew the ground with endless flame, bringing heat and energy to the anti-verse. Secondly, the god of water. Beautiful blue splashed everywhere she went, she had gorgeous watery eyes, a cool face, and a fluid body. She could summon thick, long, strong streams of water, bringing the deepest blue to the ground, and giving everyone the spring of life. Thirdly, the god of air. Whenever he walked by, a breeze would bring everything coolness, and all a sudden a strong, invisible force of coldness, before blown away by the wind, seeing his pale-green body slowly waving around his body. His strength of tornado brought chill and gives everyone the breath. Finally, the god of earth. Despite having the appearance of muddy brown dirt, it had the power of terrains. Him taking a step, the ground would shake with an enormous force. He was the building blocks of planets and the soil. He brought the place for everyone to survive on. Whenever a crisis occurred, they would go to the four god's shrine, scattered around the four corners of the anti-verse, and sacrificed their goods to the gods: animals, precious ores, food, or even antimatter. Once the procedure finished, the power of gods would be given to the antimatter, and they could bring equilibrium back to the anti-verse. When the unique golden-white portal was created, they believed that it was a sign of unbalance, with white antimatter contrasted with the blurple antimatter. The portal, deactivated, was transported into an anti-metal cage on top of a fifth pillar, made of anti-marbles, and was left there, hoping it would not bring any trouble to the anti-verse. Then, the extraction of antimatter began. The portal, spinning, flying and zapping, started producing an immense sucking force to the surroundings. Slowly, pebbles on the ground, leaves on trees were sucked towards the gleaming portal. When the portal absorbed those, it grew stronger and could attract bigger things up in the air. 5 minutes ago it could only attract branches and stones, 5 minutes later it started sucking fruits from stores, fishes from the pond. The antimatter felt a tow towards the sky, that was when they noticed that chunks of anti-stuff were sucked into white portal, like a \"white\" black-hole, and never came back. They made roars as loud as thunder, flashes as bright as a supernova. \"EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! ACTIVATE PLAN S!\" The central tower of anti-verse announced. Then some of the antimatter inside the anti-verse formed squadrons of antimatter, marching towards the four corners of the anti-verse, towards the four shrines. Each squadron carried an element found in the anti-verse: Towards the shrine of fire was a grey, pale, polished stone. For the shrine of water, it was a sparkling, golden goblet. A sack of air was carried to the shrine of air, and a pile of dirt was transported to the shrine of earth. The torches inside the shrines were lit, each material was put onto a table of each shrine, followed by some fruits, anti-chickens, and antimatter. Then the spellmasters, one in each shrine stood forward. They had a lengthy, silver beard, a tall hat, and a black robe. After lighting the candles inside each shrine, they started murmuring spells, slowly but solemn, that was said to be the language of god: \"\u03b5\u03bc\u03b2\u03c5\u03c4\u03bc\u03c5\u03c4\u03ba\u03bb \u0392\u03c0\u03c9\u03be, \u03b3\u03bd\u03c5\u03ba\u03c4\u03bc \u03c5\u03c4 \u03ba\u03bc\u03c5\u03c4\u03bc\u0391\u03b2\u03c5! \" The spellmasters pointed their wands towards the arched glass ceiling of the shrine. The wands shot beams of ray at the sky: red, blue, green, brown, they met at the center of anti-verse. Then, the shafts of rays fractured and sprinkled across the universe, wrapping everything in illumination. After the lights started dimming, the sacrifices on the table started emitting rays of light towards the middle material, shining far brighter than the torches. The spellmasters kneeled at the table and the mighty statue of the god, as the rest of antimatter followed. The light continued to illuminate the shrine and it finally dissipated after a minute. The materials were the only thing on the table. It glowed weakly under the torch's light. They have been converted into artifacts, gifts from the gods: The eternal flame stone from the god of fire, the infinite water goblet from the god of water, the everlasting wind tornado from the god of wind, and the permanent shock dirt from the god of earth. Meanwhile, commanded by the central tower, four pillars had been built near the four shrines. At the wave of spellmaster's wand, the four artifacts, slowly glowing, flew towards the top of the four pillars and sit comfortably on top of the four pillars. The gemstones on the side of the pillar lit up and their lights were amplified by the artifact, like a lamppost at night, bringing antimatter hope and faith. Despite this, the portal, still constantly sucking antimatter, continued to outshine the four pillars. Even though the four artifacts were as light as feather, the suction did not affect them the slightest. The spellmasters ran towards the center of anti-verse, where the portal was located. Together they pointed their wands towards the portal, and they yelled, \"\u03b5\u03c9\u03be\u03bb\u03c5\u0392\u03c8\u03b9\u03c5 \u03be\u03c9\u03be, \u03b3\u03bc\u03b6\u03b6\u03c0 \u0391\u03bd\u03c8\u03ba\u03ba\u03c3\u03be\u03c4\u03bc \u03c9\u03be\u03b3!\" Beams of light were shot from their wands towards the four pillars, striking the artifacts. Then the artifacts became activated and started ejecting the power of gods: A phoenix was spawned by the stone. It blew bulky waves of fire towards the goblet, which launched a long stream of water. The water had turned into steam, which hovered towards the tornado. The tornado, after sucking the steam in, became much more powerful and blew things further away. It was driven towards the fifth pillar and surrounded the portal eventually. Combined with the shock of the rock, it repelled antimatter away from the portal. Meanwhile, in the universe, more parallel universes containing antimatter had been discovered. Matter people had built more portals to extract antimatter to power the universe. Then when the portal to anti-verse was surrounded by protection from the four gods and delivered nothing into the universe, it was believed that all antimatter had been extracted and thus the portal was deactivated. It was disconnected from the extractor, left in a module of the extraction room, isolated from other portals, surrounded by litter. In the anti-verse, the portal stopped floating and descent slowly down on top of the fifth pillar. The hazy substance in the inner-ring faded away. It rested firmly on the pillar just as spellmasters spawned an anti-metal cage surrounding the portal. \"Hooray!\" The antimatter celebrated. They had an enormous feast in the central hall and gave their greatest respect to the four gods. \"Without them, we cannot defeat the minions of the devil,\" a channeller, who could communicate with the gods, said. \"We shall express our gratitude to them by sacrificing objects to them. But now, we will celebrate!\" \"Hooray!\" The antimatter raised their glasses, then they threw the biggest party they ever had, while the channellers and spellmasters sacrificed poultries to the gods. The portal was left on top of the pillar as a normal, happy life returned to the antimatter, until another catastrophe. The antimatter, similar to us, had thoughts. Some were brave, some were smart, some were kind. Some hoped for wealth, some wished positions, some thrived for power. They could believe things, but they could also reject them. When the portal appeared, it was believed to be a sign of unbalanced, a minion of the devil. However, there was a minority who didn't believe this way. Some antimatter, who thrived for power, thought that the portal was a sign of strength, a challenge set by god that only the most audacious and most exceptional could overcome and reveal the potential. They proposed to reach the top of the fifth pillar and to unveil the secret. However, after the portal was activated many were too scared to reach for it, and only one was confident and determined enough to do so. His name was \u03c3\u03c5\u03bd\u03c6\u03b3. Just after the celebration party, \u03c3\u03c5\u03bd\u03c6\u03b3 had already started packing stuff for his adventure. \"Can I buy a pickaxe please?\" He asked the shopkeeper. \"Sure,\" the shopkeeper replied. Then he got a pickaxe to help him to climb to the top of the pillar. \"Now, what can I use to break the bars of anti-metal cage?\" Then he got a file. Finally, he packed some food, some water, a map, cables, and wires. Then he stepped outside his house and started walking towards the fifth pillar, shadowed under the night sky. The fifth pillar was circled by a large, solid wall. The wall was made of bricks. Luckily, he bought a pickaxe which helped him to tunnel a hole just small enough for him to pass through. After the wall was sentry towers. Huge cannons were installed on top of the tower to stop intruders. The antimatter covered itself with dirt, sneaked quietly under the tower. \"Crack!\" \u03c3\u03c5\u03bd\u03c6\u03b3 stepped on a branch and made a loud noise. He quickly took shelter under one of the towers. \"Who's there!\" A soldier shouted powerfully and fiercely. He proceeded to move a spotlight towards the ground, hoping to uncover anything. \"Humph...\" The soldier decided to give up investigating after a couple of minutes. \"Phew...\" The antimatter resumed his journey crawling in the darkness. Slowly, he moved towards the pillar, occasionally placing his hand ahead of him to sweep away dirt and leaves. Under the camouflage of dirt, no one could see him. Notwithstanding, he still tries to avoid lights from the sentry tower to not be seen. After those sentry towers is the final stretch of the journey: the pillar. Climbing the pillar was not a simple task because it had no stairs, no slabs, nothing for you to step on. The four marble walls were slippery. \u03c3\u03c5\u03bd\u03c6\u03b3 tried to get a grip on the wall but fell. It seemed that walking up the pillar directly was not an option. Rope climbing was not an option either. A plausible option is to mine holes along the pillar for hook and stepping up. However, mining and climbing was an intense task to do, especially under the darkness. Despite the challenge, the strong-will antimatter still managed to mount to the top just before the sky became bright. Tired, he laid flat on top of the pillar and slept until night fell again. Then the sleeping antimatter woke up, taking a file from his bag and started tearing bars of the anti-metal cage. Although the cage was strong, \u03c3\u03c5\u03bd\u03c6\u03b3 still broke it. \"Clunk!\" A bar fell to the floor. \"Clunk! Clunk! Clunk!\" The sound continued until a slot is big enough for \u03c3\u03c5\u03bd\u03c6\u03b3 to squeeze inside. Now inside the cage, he took a closer look at the portal: the portal was coated with a milky white color, much dazzler than anything in the anti-verse. The robust frame of the portal formed a ring while silvery nodes stuck out in the middle. He touched them softly. They were spherical and tough, but smooth and cold. \"\u03b5\u03b8\u03be\u03c3\u03c5\u03c4\u03ba\u03c3\u03be\u0391\u03c9\u03be\u03b3,\" he discovered a text on the frame of the portal. \"Interesting... now how do I activate this and discharge its power?\" the antimatter thought. He gave another look to the portal, checking its base. The circular base was golden and sparkling. Then he found a tiny red button on the base. He pressed the button. The portal started revolving and slowly floating up in the air. \"Ha!\" Believed that he got the blessing from gods, \u03c3\u03c5\u03bd\u03c6\u03b3 exclaimed in excitement. \"And now the power shall be mine!\" He proceeded. The portal rose higher and higher until it was just a small blurry figure. Then it stopped and settled down on top. After that, the nodes sparked, shooting zaps to other nodes and started forming something. It was also milky white but it glowed brighter than the portal frame itself. The suspension looked like milk but was more transparent, looked like water but was more opaque. Expected a blessing of ray or a silhouette of god appearing, \u03c3\u03c5\u03bd\u03c6\u03b3 was both shocked and confused to see a white block launched from the suspension in the portal. The block was shot across the landscape, detonated when striking the ground. It left a wide crater on the ground. What were those? It turned out that those were matter junks placed next to the portal in the universe. \"So it's the power to destroy things, huh?\" The antimatter said. \"Does that mean I can destroy whatever I want?\" He grimaced laughter. So the antimatter sat down and watched as the portal launched matter in the anti-verse: houses, factories, shops, all struck down by matter. Antimatter went crazy and started screaming and running in the street. \"EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! ACTIVATE PLAN S!\" The announcement was sent from the central tower of anti-verse again. Spellmasters aimed their wands towards the artifacts and stimulated them as the artifacts released their power. \"Alright... apparently the spellmasters are requested which means I should probably stop using it for now,\" the antimatter said. \"Wait, how am I able to shut it off if the switch is on the portal?\" A sense of panic struck him as he realized he had no control over the portal. \"COME DOWN! COME DOWN!\" He wailed, but it was no use. \"Oh god... where did it all go wrong?\" He pondered. \"Maybe it's not any challenge at all, but a deadly weapon...\" Under the guilt of reactivating the lethal portal, he put his last hope on the artifacts. As usual, the power of the four gods were assembled: fire, water, air, earth. However, the power of matter was unstoppable. Upon release, the phoenix was annihilated by matter immediately, burning into nothing while screaming with a cry greater than anything in the anti-verse. All antimatter watched and they gasped when the phoenix died. Then, the portal orientated itself to the pile of dirt and launched another chunk of matter at an unbelievable speed. It seemed like the portal had a mind of itself. Meanwhile, the pile of dirt was producing shockwaves to try and knock matter away with the air particles. Despite this, the matter crashed towards those waves and created a sonic boom. The blast tarnished away layers of matter and it, now a mixture of plasma and matter, dived towards the pillar of dirt and blasted part of the pile of dirt away. Some parts of the pillar exploded and debris hit antimatter watching the scene. \"What was so reactive it would react to wave?\" Confused antimatter, including soldiers and even spellmasters, seek shelter inside bunkers immediately, but not before matter annihilated some of them as they screaming in agony. The devastation continued. The portal turned itself towards the pillar of air and shot yet more blocks of matter. Despite the tornado's greatest effort to blow everything away, molecules of air still annihilated with matter. The blocks remained intact without signs of slowing down. \"\u03b9\u03c1\u03ba\u03c6\u03b3! \" A spellmaster pointed his wand towards the intensely glistening block of matter. A deep blue ray was cast to the matter and surrounded it. The ray started fading, from blue to pale, and finally to transparent. However, the block did not stop nor even slow down. It smashed directly to the eye of the tornado, sending packets of energy everywhere. The tornado was still spinning, but now awfully weak, now only able to make leaves on tree float and sway around. \"I better warn others not to activate this portal after this incident...\" \u03c3\u03c5\u03bd\u03c6\u03b3 took out a piece of wood from his backpack and wrote the following text on the sign: \"I activated the portal, I had the power, I destroyed the anti-verse... DO NOT ENTER.\" Then he put the sign on the anti-metal cage. While this was happening, the movement of the portal did not stop. It continued twisting, launching matter at its surroundings until it faced towards the goblet, which was shooting water streams at the portal. \"This is our final hope...\" antimatter thought. The flow of water was aimed at the entrance of matter. Yet the matter contended, blocking the entrance. The water and matter met at the entrance of the portal, and they annihilated, releasing an overwhelming amount of energy and light, covering the portal, all pillars, everything... Behind the impenetrable wall of light, sounds of explosions and blasts roared, resonating the anti-verse. \"Hopefully the portal was blown into pieces...\" someone said. Then as more antimatter engaged in the discussion, suddenly there came silence, then low pitch rumble, the sound of ripping that got louder every second: the fabric of space-time had been torn apart, leaving emptiness inside. The emptiness was said to be like a singularity: Emptiness occupied no space. Inside emptiness, there was no space and time. Objects inside would never age. Everything would be compressed to a singularity, and they would remain trapped forever until they interacted with other objects. The light in the anti-verse started fading away. Now all antimatter could see was lights sucked into a point in the middle of the anti-verse, and everything, including them, was strongly tuck towards that point. The rip in space-time expanded. However, since emptiness had no space, it would seem like a single point in the anti-verse and that everything else was tuck towards it. The singularity kept absorbing all things, from trees to pillars. Antimatter hugged each other before being absorbed, bunkers were pulled from the ground and smashed towards it, even \u03c3\u03c5\u03bd\u03c6\u03b3 disappeared without a trace. Although the artifacts were powerful, they couldn't escape such fate, glowing gorgeously before disappearing into emptiness. After everything but few antimatter was absorbed, the ripping slowed down. This caused the attraction to slow down, like pulling the brake inside a train. All things remained in the anti-verse decelerated. Few miserable antimatter was absorbed during the deceleration, but everything finally came to a stop. Only the void was left, with a couple of antimatter floating around and the singularity nowhere to be seen. All artifacts had disappeared without a trace. Antimatter who survived the rip was in shock and had lost their mind as if it was taken away by the absorption. The world fell into silence and void."
3909    ),
3910    NewsMessage(
3911        id = 942,
3912        text = "apolgy for bad english. where were u wen 9 dimension die. i was at house eating antimaters when phone ring: \"9 dimension is kil\". \"no\""
3913    ),
3914    NewsMessage(
3915        id = 943,
3916        text = "Haha! You are captured! Stupid antimatter beast..."
3917    ),
3918    NewsMessage(
3919        id = 944,
3920        text = "Reality is often appointing."
3921    ),
3922    NewsMessage(
3923        id = 945,
3924        text = "Legends tell of a news ticker so beautifully written that even the great Hevipelle wept upon reading it. This is not that news ticker."
3925    ),
3926    NewsMessage(
3927        id = 946,
3928        text = "This newsticker will go down for maintenance for five hours. Please stand by and ignore the sample texts displayed while in maintenance!"
3929    ),
3930    NewsMessage(
3931        id = 947,
3932        text = "Sekiro: Shadows Crunch 1.79e308 times"
3933    ),
3934    NewsMessage(
3935        id = 948,
3936        text = "Paperclips found to not be useless. They make the savefile longer.",
3937        unlocked = { player.secretUnlocks.paperclips > 0 }
3938    ),
3939    NewsMessage(
3940        id = 949,
3941        text = "Hey, hey! Stop reading me. It's very rude to read a news ticker when it doesn't want you to."
3942    ),
3943    NewsMessage(
3944        id = 950,
3945        text = "For the last time, the news ticker's code is simple and stable, it is not prone to any glitches whatsoever, I've said it before and I'll say it again: \u0566\u028a\u01df\u0586\u01df\u0280 ͡\u0262\u01df\u028d\u025b ̕\u028d\u01df\u04fc\u0268\u028d\u028a\u028d \u028b\u01df\u0188\u028a\u028a\u028d ̨\u0280\u0585\u0236\u01df\u0236\u0268\u0585\u057c \u0586\u0584\u0268\u057c ̧\u0586-̛\u0586-\u0586-"
3946    ),
3947    NewsMessage(
3948        id = 951,
3949        text = "new study shows that eating antimatter is both safer and healthier than paperclips"
3950    ),
3951    NewsMessage(
3952        id = 952,
3953        text = "Shrek is love, Shrek is life.... Wait where's all my progress?"
3954    ),
3955    NewsMessage(
3956        id = 953,
3957        text = "As you all know, this news ticker is free to read, and has been since the start of time. National antimatter News is publicly funded, and we need your help to pay the bills. If every player reading this donated just 1e300 to NaN during this pledge drive, we would be able to refurnish the basement Hevi makes us live in, and still have enough money left over to feed the writer pit for six months!"
3958    ),
3959    NewsMessage(
3960        id = 954,
3961        text = "Click here to disassemble the news ticker for a trace amount of nothing. You thought you had a paperclip there, didn't you?"
3962    ),
3963    NewsMessage(
3964        id = 955,
3965        text = "He found a way to trick the game into thinking he's holding \"Max\" the entire time! Mobile developers hate him! All he needed to do was to hold \"Max\" and swipe to the next tab with the same finger he was holding \"Max\" with!"
3966    ),
3967    NewsMessage(
3968        id = 956,
3969        text = "Click here to disable the news ticker. You clicked it, didn't you? You monster."
3970    ),
3971    NewsMessage(
3972        id = 957,
3973        text = "What if the Ninth Dimension was only a scam to prevent us from hypothesizing about Dimension Zero?"
3974    ),
3975    NewsMessage(
3976        id = 958,
3977        text = "The next update is in 5. Just 5."
3978    ),
3979    NewsMessage(
3980        id = 959,
3981        text = "Whoa, slow down there! Why are you setting the speed of the news ticker to 150%?",
3982        unlocked = { newsTickerSpeed >= 1.5f }
3983    ),
3984    NewsMessage(
3985        id = 960,
3986        text = "Man went missing 5 hours ago. Was last seen in possession of some Infinity."
3987    ),
3988    NewsMessage(
3989        id = 961,
3990        text = "\"Mom can we buy some Infinity?\" \"No, we have Infinity at home.\" The Infinity at home:"
3991    ),
3992    NewsMessage(
3993        id = 962,
3994        text = "The slaves in Hevi's basement dared work for less than 25 hours today. In other unrelated news - Omsi, SpectralFlame, and Earth were reported to be missing."
3995    ),
3996    NewsMessage(
3997        id = 963,
3998        text = "This game actually has a lore. It's just too Hevi for you to understand."
3999    ),
4000    NewsMessage(
4001        id = 964,
4002        text = "RTX ON"
4003    ),
4004    NewsMessage(
4005        id = 965,
4006        text = "The next update is in 4 hours 59 minutes. Kajfik is currently trying to fix the issue to reset the time back to 5 hours."
4007    ),
4008    NewsMessage(
4009        id = 966,
4010        text = "in this game you have to produce as many paperc- ... oh wait wrong game, I thought this was Universal Paperclips"
4011    ),
4012    NewsMessage(
4013        id = 967,
4014        getText = { "Hey that's not how you use Tachyons, you're holding them upside down. Here, to properly manipulate the timeline you should hold them like this and then-${SPACES_BETWEEN_NEWSTICKERS()}Hey that's not how you use Tachyons, you're holding them upside down." },
4015        unlocked = { player.dilation.tachyonParticles.gt(B_0) }
4016    ),
4017    NewsMessage(
4018        id = 968,
4019        text = "Have you gotten the broom closet secret achievement? The broom closet secret achievement is my favorite secret achievement."
4020    ),
4021    NewsMessage(
4022        id = 969,
4023        text = "Who's Max and why do people keep holding their fingers on him?"
4024    ),
4025    NewsMessage(
4026        id = 970,
4027        text = "Hi, is this the place that does the research in creating new dimensions? I was told by the shower curtain company to come here to sign up for testing, and the AI at the front desk said to go through the wooden door with the serial number on... oh, they meant the wooden door with the Cheerios taped to it in the shape of a 9? Ok, thanks. Sorry to bother you. By the way, what do you do- it's not important? But it just looks like you're writing jokes, isn't thi- ok, ok, bye. Jeez."
4028    ),
4029    NewsMessage(
4030        id = 971,
4031        text = "You are a scientist most deem mad, hellbent on creating the first ever contraption that creates antimatter from nothing. An impossible blunder to most, but a possibility to explore for you. You work from nothing, and receive no help from anybody else, yet resort to some more... illegal measures of acquiring money to create the devices you invent to help you ultimately make your \"masterpiece\"... your \"life's work\".. which, eventually, you did. Your life's work is reviewed by many, \"fake\" some said, \"impossible\" said many others... \"useful\", said somebody else... you trade your invention away for freedom from the measures used to acquire all that illegal money, naively happy to having contributed towards advancing society at alarming rates. However.. your invention is never published, it becomes a secret that must be kept at all costs. Your government takes your creation in, and, to your disgust, utilizes it for military means rather than solving more pressing issues, creating the first \"antimatter weaponry\" in the entire world, anomalous to literally everyone else. You become old and bitter, embracing your final hours in shame as your life's work is bastardized into war machines, coming down as yet another genius in history that boosted technology around the world, but at what cost..?"
4032    ),
4033    NewsMessage(
4034        id = 972,
4035        text = "Antimatter is regular matter with all the electrical charges inverted. However! Neutrinos have no electrical charge whatsoever. Therefore, scientists theorised, neutrinos might be antiparticles of themselves! But although neutrinos are common, collision is rare because neutrinos are extremely, extremely small, and even if some did collide, we would have almost no way of detecting without extensive scientific research and equipment, so we have yet to know the true answer... Wait... What? Uh... Yeah? Lepton charge? Oh well. Screw it, here's the latest news flash."
4036    ),
4037    NewsMessage(
4038        id = 973,
4039        text = "Drop a like on our Fakebook page for free gems."
4040    ),
4041    NewsMessage(
4042        id = 974,
4043        text = "Friend: What page do you brows for memes? Me, an intellectual: AD news ticker."
4044    ),
4045    NewsMessage(
4046        id = 975,
4047        text = "What if the News Ticker is actually standing still and everything else is just scrolling to the right?"
4048    ),
4049    NewsMessage(
4050        id = 976,
4051        text = "Please don't disable the news ticker via the Options menu. I don't want to die."
4052    ),
4053    NewsMessage(
4054        id = 977,
4055        text = "\"[NOT A SUGGESTION] I'm proofreading news ticker messages. If you see some with typos, spelling errors, or grammar errors, then please let me know via the #mobile-bugs channel.\" - Kaedenn"
4056    ),
4057    NewsMessage(
4058        id = 978,
4059        text = "How do higher dimensions produce lower ones? Let's use 3rd dimension as an example. In this scenario, let's assume 3rd dimension to be a perfect, ideal cube. Now, let's slice a thin plank, so thin it has no height, from the cube, parallel to the downward face. Now we have a plank that has length, width but no height, or just a square. The square is 2nd dimension, and the cube, the 3rd dimension, is still a cube because the square has no height. That's how 3rd dimension produces 2nd dimension, and similarly how higher dimensions produce lower ones."
4060    ),
4061    NewsMessage(
4062        id = 979,
4063        text = "\"Where is Max?\" \"What do you mean he went unconscious due to lack of oxygen?\""
4064    ),
4065    NewsMessage(
4066        id = 980,
4067        text = "One of the Reality testers once saw the 9th Dimension through a mirror. He has been cursed with a nickname changing every 5 hours."
4068    ),
4069    NewsMessage(
4070        id = 981,
4071        text = "I  N E E D  P E A C E  A N D  T R A N Q U I L I T Y"
4072    ),
4073    NewsMessage(
4074        id = 982,
4075        text = "May I please have a moment of your time. I'm on a quest, one that has lasted me over a year. All I am looking for is the original \"figured out why city boys dont drive lifted trucks very much\" aka \"swaos\" video. I have searched high and low, but to no avail. If you know where I can find this video, please message me on Discord at BoomerThor. Thank you for your time."
4076    ),
4077    NewsMessage(
4078        id = 983,
4079        text = "Oh yes sorry, this must be very confusing for you. Please let me clarify some terms for you. Hevipelle or \"Hevi\" is the original developer and creator of the web version of Antimatter Dimensions, and Kajfik is the creator and developer of the mobile version. Computers use the \"64-bit Double-precision floating-point format\" (or \"double\") for storing decimal values and as per the IEEE 754 standard its maximum value is 2^1024 which is about 1.79e308. In JavaScript, the programming language used for the web version, this value is named \"Infinity\". In the beginning, this was the largest number. Then Patashu broke that limit by creating \"break_infinity.js\", which stored the two parts of a \"double\" (mantissa and exponent) separately, thus allowing very, very large numbers. The \"Infinity\" and \"Eternity\" prestige layers are major milestones that don't come until later in the game. Antimatter is the opposite of regular Matter, and these two will explode violently if they come into contact with each other, although there are other news messages that will give a much better explanation than I did. The News Ticker is the thing you're looking at now. Hi! Anything about 5 hours is a long running inside joke that began when Hevi said the next update would be in about five hours. A Discord user Acamaeda then submitted this news message: \"Antimatter Dimensions: the next update is always 5 hours away. Always.\" Slabdrill is an ex-contributor who once added the 9th dimension while Hevi was on vacation, even though Hevi specifically said to not add anything. Omsi, Boo, and SpectralFlame (or SpectralGiraffe) are moderators on the dedicated Antimatter Dimensions Discord server. The paperclips are a reference to another awesome incremental game called Universal Paperclips. They're called \"useless\" since some players thought they were useful. Finally, any reference to STDs is a nod towards the in-game IAP (in-app-purchase) currency called \"Support The Developer\"-coins. It can be bought for real money, although it isn't required to progress and is meant mainly to support the developers (thanks a lot <3). Hopefully I helped to clear any confusion you may or may not have had. If you need any help with progression or have any questions/issues, please ask someone in our awesome Discord community - you can join via the link in the \"About\" tab. Thank you for playing our game, we wish you good luck and hope you are having fun! :)"
4080    ),
4081    NewsMessage(
4082        id = 984,
4083        text = "Why did the antimatter fabricator get fired from his job? Because Hevi-olated his contract! ...Wait, what do you mean that's not how you pronounce his name?"
4084    ),
4085    NewsMessage(
4086        id = 985,
4087        text = "Data check: if you have a limited data plan, check and make sure that your WiFi is on or your data is off while you aren't using it. Have a great day :)"
4088    ),
4089    NewsMessage(
4090        id = 986,
4091        text = "Still sane, exile?"
4092    ),
4093    NewsMessage(
4094        id = 987,
4095        text = "\"Anything that mentions STDs in the app refers to the premium currency for in-app-purchases called \"Support The Developer -coins\". If you think it refers to anything else you are already corrupted and should think about your life choices.\" - kajfik"
4096    ),
4097    NewsMessage(
4098        id = 988,
4099        text = "sorry just passing through"
4100    ),
4101    NewsMessage(
4102        id = 989,
4103        text = "Today's video is sponsored by Antimatter Dimensions, one of the biggest mobile idle games of 2020 and it's totally free! Currently almost 10 million users have joined Antimatter Dimensions over the last six months, and it's one of the most impressive games in its class with detailed numbers, buttons and smooth 60 frames per second animations! All the autobuyers in the game can be customized with unique gear that changes your strategic buffs and abilities! The celestial bosses have some ridiculous skills of their own and figuring out the perfect party and strategy to overtake them's a lot of fun! Currently with over 300,000 reviews, Antimatter Dimensions has almost a perfect score on the Play Store! The community is growing fast and the highly anticipated new reality feature is now live, you might even find my celestial out there in the arena! It's easier to start now than ever with rates program for new players you get a new daily login reward for the first 90 days that you play in the game! So what are you waiting for? Go to the video description, click on the special links and you'll get 50,000 antimatter and a free epic dimension as part of the new player program to start your journey! Good luck and I'll see you there!"
4104    ),
4105    NewsMessage(
4106        id = 990,
4107        text = "9 sounds like nein in German, which means no, which is why the 9th dimension is no"
4108    ),
4109    NewsMessage(
4110        id = 991,
4111        text = "Also try Minecraft!"
4112    ),
4113    NewsMessage(
4114        id = 992,
4115        text = "Hevipelle confirmed for Smash"
4116    ),
4117    NewsMessage(
4118        id = 993,
4119        text = "'; DROP TABLE NEWS_MESSAGES;"
4120    ),
4121    NewsMessage(
4122        id = 994,
4123        text = "news is move"
4124    ),
4125    NewsMessage(
4126        id = 995,
4127        text = "Before you ask, the weather is great up here. See ya."
4128    ),
4129    NewsMessage(
4130        id = 996,
4131        text = "Don't forget to do regular backups! You never know when your universe might get crunched because some kid in another universe is playing this game..."
4132    ),
4133    NewsMessage(
4134        id = 997,
4135        text = "guys I need one more quality newsticker"
4136    ),
4137    NewsMessage(
4138        id = 998,
4139        getText = { "This is the current amount of useless paperclips you have: ${player.secretUnlocks.paperclips}" }
4140    ),
4141    NewsMessage(
4142        id = 999,
4143        text = "Things to use Antimatter Dimensions for: a timer for how long you slept"
4144    ),
4145    NewsMessage(
4146        id = 1000,
4147        text = "I used to have love. I used to have friends. I used to have family. I used to have a life. Now I have Antimatter. Antimatter is love, antimatter is life."
4148    ),
4149    object : NewsMessage(
4150        id = 1001
4151    ) {
4152        override fun getMessage(): SpannableStringBuilder {
4153            return SpannableStringBuilder(
4154                "Nothing happens when you click this text. " +
4155                    when {
4156                        player.secretUnlocks.uselessNewsClicks == 1 -> "And yet, you've clicked it."
4157                        player.secretUnlocks.uselessNewsClicks > 1 -> "And yet, you've clicked it ${player.secretUnlocks.uselessNewsClicks} times."
4158                        else -> "And you understand that."
4159                    }
4160            )
4161        }
4162
4163        override fun performOnClick(): MessageOnClickResponse? {
4164            player.secretUnlocks.uselessNewsClicks++
4165            return MessageOnClickResponse(updatedText = getMessage())
4166        }
4167    },
4168    NewsMessage(
4169        id = 1002,
4170        getText = {
4171            if (player.secretUnlocks.newsQueuePosition > 1) {
4172                return@NewsMessage "Thank you for contacting customer support. Your satisfaction is very important to us, and a company " +
4173                    "representative will be with you shortly. You are now at position ${player.secretUnlocks.newsQueuePosition--} in the queue. Thank you for " +
4174                    "your patience, and please enjoy these quality selected news messages as you wait."
4175            }
4176            return@NewsMessage "Thank you for contacting customer support, this is Jane, how may I help you today?"
4177        }
4178    ),
4179    NewsMessage(
4180        id = 1003,
4181        text = "Extradimensional creatures invade Earth, people worldwide horrified. \"More antimatter for me.\" Says random man from Finland."
4182    ),
4183    NewsMessage(
4184        id = 1004,
4185        text = "\"Millenials are killing the Challenge industry.\" says antimatter expert, \"Nowadays they start with Challenges completed and Infinity broken, it's just not how it used to be.\"",
4186        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.infinityBroken() }
4187    ),
4188    NewsMessage(
4189        id = 1005,
4190        text = "Computer scientists are outraged, \"What even is Infinity Points? IP stands for Internet Protocol!\" Debates continue to intensify, more at 7.",
4191        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.infinityUnlocked() }
4192    ),
4193    NewsMessage(
4194        id = 1006,
4195        text = "It's a news ticker, not inside joke machine"
4196    ),
4197    NewsMessage(
4198        id = 1007,
4199        text = "Do you feel that time has been going slower? Study reveals that 1 second now last approximately 1.3 seconds. Scientists are calling this phenomenon Time Dilation.",
4200        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.dilationUnlocked() }
4201    ),
4202    NewsMessage(
4203        id = 1008,
4204        text = "Injustice in the Antimatter Academia: Beginners are only allowed to choose one field of study while the elite can pick all three. \"It's just not fair, man. How do they do it?\" Questions frustrated student.",
4205        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.dilationUnlocked() }
4206    ),
4207    NewsMessage(
4208        id = 1009,
4209        text = "Is your child participating in sacrificial rituals? New fad sees teenagers performing \"dimensional sacrifices\" in exchange for \"increased antimatter production\"",
4210        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.sacrificeUnlocked() }
4211    ),
4212    NewsMessage(
4213        id = 1010,
4214        text = "Increased demand for Bulk Autobuyers see the rise of Autobuyer Gyms, where they allegedly can get your Autobuyers all \"bulked out\". Outspoken naturalists insist that \"it ain't natural\"."
4215    ),
4216    object : NewsMessage(
4217        id = 1011
4218    ) {
4219        override fun getMessage(): SpannableStringBuilder {
4220            val nameList = mutableListOf("Antinology", "Infinifection", "Eternal Light", "Galaxia", "Duplicanti", "Dimensional Explorer", "Techyon", "Realistic", "Celestar", "ERCGDM", "NRG+", "Looty Box", "Symbolic", "Minisofa", "IDEAL", "Appange", "Goggles", "Interval", "Newstar", "HeavyPellet", "Marsa", "Zoology", "Photoric", "Jacfoz", "Orism", "EDIK", "Fision", "Gamma", "Fractiled", "Imnesia", "Fermic", "The Automizers")
4221            val signs = arrayOf("+", "-", "")
4222            val arrowSigns = arrayOf("▲", "▼", "◄►")
4223            val colors = arrayOf(Color.GREEN, Color.RED, Color.rgb(255, 215, 0))
4224            val possibilities = arrayOf(0, 0, 0, 0, 1, 1, 1, 1, 2)
4225
4226            nameList.shuffle()
4227            val names = nameList.filterIndexed { index, _ -> index < 3 }
4228
4229            val message = SpannableStringBuilder()
4230
4231            for (name in names) {
4232                message.append(name).append(" ")
4233                val sign = possibilities.random()
4234                val price = if (sign == 2) 0 else FastRandom.nextInt(1, 11)
4235                val priceText = signs[sign] + (price / 10.0).toString() + " " + arrowSigns[sign]
4236                val messageLength = message.length
4237
4238                message.append(priceText)
4239                message.setSpan(ForegroundColorSpan(colors[sign]), messageLength, messageLength + priceText.length, Spanned.SPAN_EXCLUSIVE_EXCLUSIVE)
4240                message.append("    ")
4241            }
4242
4243            return message
4244        }
4245    },
4246    NewsMessage(
4247        id = 1012,
4248        text = "\"I can't believe we actually made it, the copy worked!\" " +
4249            "<gold>\"Well we did, they picked us, we're on the news\"<end> " +
4250            "\"I'm so relieved that we've won the coin toss\" " +
4251            "<gold>\"May our original selves live well in the suggestion channel\"<end>",
4252        styled = true
4253    ),
4254    NewsMessage(
4255        id = 1013,
4256        text = "They are endless, eternal, beyond counting. But you. You will be worse. Boost and Crunch, until it is done."
4257    ),
4258    NewsMessage(
4259        id = 1014,
4260        text = "The abundance of antimatter makes rainbows change their colors, they are now " +
4261            "<brown>pink<end>, " +
4262            "<coal>teal<end>, " +
4263            "<star power blue>lime<end>, " +
4264            "<razer™ green>brown<end>, " +
4265            "<pink>Razer™ green<end>, " +
4266            "<teal>coal<end>, and " +
4267            "<lime>Star Power blue<end>.",
4268        styled = true
4269    ),
4270    NewsMessage(
4271        id = 1015,
4272        text = "Another hand withdraws from the beacon"
4273    ),
4274    NewsMessage(
4275        id = 1016,
4276        text = "People worldwide are outraged at media, chants \"make the news ticker about news again\""
4277    ),
4278    NewsMessage(
4279        id = 1017,
4280        text = "It turns out that nobody actually knows what Infinity Points look like. Even the people who work on storing them are specifically told not to look at them because they apparently \"kill anyone who even looks at them\", to the point of sometimes working with blindfolds on. But today that will change. I am right here, in front of an Infinity Point Depot, ready to tell all of you what they look like in 3, 2, 1-",
4281        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.infinityUnlocked() }
4282    ),
4283    NewsMessage(
4284        id = 1018,
4285        text = "Humanity shocked as failed Time Dilation experiment causes a visual glitch in spacetime. It is now visible in the night sky just above the Celestial Equator.",
4286        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.dilationUnlocked() }
4287    ),
4288    NewsMessage(
4289        id = 1019,
4290        text = "That adrenaline rush when autobuyers fly, It's the grind that brings out that body high, So you know that I'm stuck here pressing max with you, In a sleepless night of circumstance, At the mercy of my dedicated hands, I will bring myself to see this challenge through"
4291    ),
4292    NewsMessage(
4293        id = 1020,
4294        text = "Breaking News: <gold>\"It's been months now since the channel for suggesting new messages in the ticker " +
4295            "has been deleted and new fans of the game are still mad about it. We're here at the Antimatter Dimensions " +
4296            "Development HQ to see how and what these protesters are doing. Let's ask this young lad right here.\"     " +
4297            "\"Who are you and why are you here right now?\"<end> <red>\"Hello uhh, my name is Timmy and I play this game " +
4298            "25 hours a day because I uh- love it so much and I am really mad that we can't submit news tick-\"<end> " +
4299            "<gold>\"You mean news messages?\"<end> <red>\"What?\"<end> <gold>\"Yeah uhh, nevermind let's ask anoth- Oh what's that Mike?\"" +
4300            "${SPACES_BETWEEN_NEWSTICKERS()}\"Oh... Alright thanks for the info! Well apparently the developers" +
4301            " have opened the suggestions channel to a couple of lucky people a couple of days ago and we're expecting the first" +
4302            " suggestions to come out within a few min- Oh it's there it's there! Point the camera at the screen, quickly!\"<end>" +
4303            "${SPACES_BETWEEN_NEWSTICKERS()} dimenison not real haha LIKE SO HEVI CAN SEE${SPACES_BETWEEN_NEWSTICKERS()}" +
4304            "<gold>\"Oh... Well that's... Interesting to say the least. Well now we know that the" +
4305            " developers are taking inspiration from players aga- Wait what's that again Mike? The developers discontinued the" +
4306            " entire thing? Oh... Okay that's also interes-\"<end> <green>\"Uhh, sir?\"<end> <gold>\"Yeah?\"<end> <green>\"The Antimatter" +
4307            " Cannons seems to be charging, and they're aiming directly at us.\"<end> <gold>\"Well then, now is probably a good time to" +
4308            " end this. Well this is your reporter, Joey Chad, SIGNING OU-\"<end>",
4309        styled = true
4310    ),
4311    NewsMessage(
4312        id = 1021,
4313        text = "Number 1e15: AD Dilation Lettuce. The last thing you want on your Antimatter Dimensions playthrough is someone's Tachyon Particles. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A tester uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his cursor on a x3 TP upgrade. With the statement: \"This is what you play in Antimatter Dimensions.\" Admittedly, he had Cancer notation on. But that's even worse.",
4314        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.dilationUnlocked() }
4315    ),
4316    NewsMessage(
4317        id = 1022,
4318        text = "<gold>\"Welcome to the tour of the 3rd Dimension, if you look to the left you'll see some of the most beautiful mountains in this Dimension, and if you look to the right you'll see the portal to the 4th Dimension, now stop looking to the right because you might burn your eyes if you look there for too long. Now enjoy the view.\"<end>" +
4319            SPACES_BETWEEN_NEWSTICKERS() +
4320            "<red>\"AAAAAAAA MY EYES!\"<end> " +
4321            "<gold>\"I told you not to stare at the portal.\"<end>" +
4322            SPACES_BETWEEN_NEWSTICKERS() +
4323            "<green>\"Why did we stop?\"<end> " +
4324            "<gold>\"It appears that a 2nd Dimension is about to be produced, we must go back before it consum-\"<end> " +
4325            "<dkgold>\"Ok now we're in the 2nd Dimension so let's make a tour of it on the way to the portal.\"<end>",
4326        styled = true
4327    ),
4328    NewsMessage(
4329        id = 1023,
4330        text = "And on the 8th day Hevi realised time travel would be necessary."
4331    ),
4332    NewsMessage(
4333        id = 1024,
4334        text = "Snorting crushed up Time Shards is slowly turning into a fad challenge amongst the most bored of people. It's said that the high it gives makes them experience as if the world itself is speeding up around you, which is why it's been called The <purple>Timelapse Challenge<end>. ${SPACES_BETWEEN_NEWSTICKERS()} Dehydration deaths are through the roof as people mysteriously forget to drink water for several days. Trace amounts of Time Shards are being found in their bodies.",
4335        styled = true,
4336        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.dilationUnlocked() }
4337    ),
4338    NewsMessage(
4339        id = 1025,
4340        text = "<gold>\"Hello, this is your local always reliable news source, and today people are taking over the streets as they fight over which Infinity Challenge is worse. Let's take it to this guy, who's part of the side that believes it's Infinity Challenge 4. What do you have to say?\"<end> " +
4341            "<cyan>\"Obviously Infinity Challenge 4 is the worst one, I mean, what am I even supposed to do? I keep trying but every time I keep getting stuck and nowhere close to the end! How are you even supposed to do it?\"<end> " +
4342            "<gold>\"What a passionate man. So up next let's talk to this guy who is holding a sign that says 'IC5 Unfair'. What is the point your group is trying to make?\"<end> " +
4343            "<magenta>\"Can't you read the sign? If your comprehension is that bad then Infinity Challenge 5 will squash you without even giving you a fair chan-\"<end> " +
4344            "<gold>\"How... Interesting. Finally, let's chat with this woman who doesn't seem to be on either side. What's your opinion on the matter?\"<end> " +
4345            "<pink>\"Personally, I thought Tickspeed Autobuyer Challenge was worse than both-\"<end> " +
4346            "<green>\"GET HER!!\"<end> " +
4347            "<pink>\"WAIT NO-\"<end> " +
4348            "<gold>\"Well, seems like this just took a turn, so I'm getting as far away as I possibly can. This is your local news host, and we'll come back with further information... someday.\"<end>",
4349        styled = true,
4350        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.eternityUnlocked() }
4351    ),
4352    NewsMessage(
4353        id = 1026,
4354        text = "Your daily shades of the sky forecast - Monday: <turquoise>Turquoise<end>, Tuesday: <taupe>Taupe<end>, Wednesday: <blurple>Blurple<end>, Thursday: <turquoise>Turquoise<end>/<taupe>taupe<end>, Friday: <coal>Coal dust<end>, Saturday: <coal>Coal dust with chances of<end> <indigo>indigo<end> <coal>in the late afternoon<end>, Sunday: <white>Void<end>",
4355        styled = true
4356    ),
4357    NewsMessage(
4358        id = 1027,
4359        text = "You have reached the automated Antimatter Dimensions support tickerline. If you are experiencing a bug in the game try closing and reopening the app, if that doesn't work reply 1 for web, 2 for mobile. If you need advice press 3, if you need to max all press M. To support the developers press $, to access the FAQ press 5, to fix a broken save press 6, to get an invite to the discord server press 7, to see change log press 8. Press 10 to repeat."
4360    ),
4361    NewsMessage(
4362        id = 1028,
4363        text = "But before we start, this video is brought to you by Antimatter Dimensions™. It's got over 100,000 downloads, and it's completely redefined what a mobile game can do for me. It's got great mechanics, 5 prestige layers, unique and original challenges, a deep skill tree, and the largest numbers I've ever seen. Like, seriously, look at them. And the best part is, it's free! Yes, that's right. Free. And if you use the link in the description, you'll start the game with 10 septillion antimatter. Yes, that's right, 10 septillion. So what are you waiting for, click the link in the description and start playing Antimatter Dimensions™ today!"
4364    ),
4365    NewsMessage(
4366        id = 1029,
4367        text = "<gold>\"Uhh, Kajfik... You know the super secret Useful Paperclip Stock... Well apparently there was a hole in the corner of the vault and a bunch spilled out into a wormhole that formed by the excess antimatter around the vault, and we don't know where they could have gone. We already sent Paperclip Recovery teams into the first 3 Antimatter Dimensions but we don't have any more teams to send out.\"<end> " +
4368            "<mobile developer blue>\"It's fine I'll just say that they are Useless Paperclips and they are just an easter egg, then I will switch out the player's useful paperclips for useless ones, as they start to find the useful ones!\"<end> " +
4369            "<gold>\"Excellent idea, No one will be able to tell the difference...\"<end>",
4370        styled = true
4371    ),
4372    NewsMessage(
4373        id = 1030,
4374        text = "\"...And then, once you get to level 9,000, you can ascend. Not really sure why you'd want to do that, it just resets all of your hard earned xp for some small buffs, mechanics like this will never catch on.\" - Someone in 2012"
4375    ),
4376    NewsMessage(
4377        id = 1031,
4378        text = "Warning: Law 1482-B, drafted by the AI 'duskscarf', alternatively referred to as \"the giant space rabbit legislation\" is now in effect in your galactic area. This list of laws and regulation forbids, among other things; the illegal catching of wild space rabbits, the pacification of tamed space rabbits, and further scientific research with 'planet grazing' unless an exception is given directly by duskscarf. You can find the list of exceptions burned into your eyelids now. In addition, the genetic modification of giant space rabbits is limited to very specific fields - size alterations (increasing in size), and cryptobiosis exaggeration. No other genetic modification is allowed outside of military applications. Thank you for your cooperation. Messages repeats in- Warning: Law 1482-"
4379    ),
4380    /*NewsMessage(
4381        id = 1032,
4382        text = ""
4383    ),
4384    NewsMessage(
4385        id = 1033,
4386        text = ""
4387    ),
4388    NewsMessage(
4389        id = 1034,
4390        text = ""
4391    ),
4392    NewsMessage(
4393        id = 1035,
4394        text = ""
4395    ),
4396    NewsMessage(
4397        id = 1036,
4398        text = ""
4399    ),
4400    NewsMessage(
4401        id = 1037,
4402        text = ""
4403    ),
4404    NewsMessage(
4405        id = 1038,
4406        text = ""
4407    ),
4408    NewsMessage(
4409        id = 1039,
4410        text = ""
4411    ),
4412    NewsMessage(
4413        id = 1040,
4414        text = ""
4415    ),
4416    NewsMessage(
4417        id = 1041,
4418        text = ""
4419    ),
4420    NewsMessage(
4421        id = 1042,
4422        text = ""
4423    ),
4424    NewsMessage(
4425        id = 1043,
4426        text = ""
4427    ),
4428    NewsMessage(
4429        id = 1044,
4430        text = ""
4431    ),
4432    NewsMessage(
4433        id = 1045,
4434        text = ""
4435    ),
4436    NewsMessage(
4437        id = 1046,
4438        text = ""
4439    ),
4440    NewsMessage(
4441        id = 1047,
4442        text = ""
4443    ),
4444    NewsMessage(
4445        id = 1048,
4446        text = ""
4447    ),
4448    NewsMessage(
4449        id = 1049,
4450        text = ""
4451    ),
4452    NewsMessage(
4453        id = 1050,
4454        text = ""
4455    ),
4456    NewsMessage(
4457        id = 1051,
4458        text = ""
4459    ),
4460    NewsMessage(
4461        id = 1052,
4462        text = ""
4463    ),
4464    NewsMessage(
4465        id = 1053,
4466        text = ""
4467    ),
4468    NewsMessage(
4469        id = 1054,
4470        text = ""
4471    ),
4472    NewsMessage(
4473        id = 1055,
4474        text = ""
4475    ),
4476    NewsMessage(
4477        id = 1056,
4478        text = ""
4479    ),
4480    NewsMessage(
4481        id = 1057,
4482        text = ""
4483    ),
4484    NewsMessage(
4485        id = 1058,
4486        text = ""
4487    ),
4488    NewsMessage(
4489        id = 1059,
4490        text = ""
4491    ),
4492    NewsMessage(
4493        id = 1060,
4494        text = ""
4495    ),
4496    NewsMessage(
4497        id = 1061,
4498        text = ""
4499    ),
4500    NewsMessage(
4501        id = 1062,
4502        text = ""
4503    ),
4504    NewsMessage(
4505        id = 1063,
4506        text = ""
4507    ),
4508    NewsMessage(
4509        id = 1064,
4510        text = ""
4511    ),
4512    NewsMessage(
4513        id = 1065,
4514        text = ""
4515    ),
4516    NewsMessage(
4517        id = 1066,
4518        text = ""
4519    ),
4520    NewsMessage(
4521        id = 1067,
4522        text = ""
4523    ),
4524    NewsMessage(
4525        id = 1068,
4526        text = ""
4527    ),
4528    NewsMessage(
4529        id = 1069,
4530        text = ""
4531    ),
4532    NewsMessage(
4533        id = 1070,
4534        text = ""
4535    ),
4536    NewsMessage(
4537        id = 1071,
4538        text = ""
4539    ),
4540    NewsMessage(
4541        id = 1072,
4542        text = ""
4543    ),
4544    NewsMessage(
4545        id = 1073,
4546        text = ""
4547    ),
4548    NewsMessage(
4549        id = 1074,
4550        text = ""
4551    ),
4552    NewsMessage(
4553        id = 1075,
4554        text = ""
4555    ),
4556    NewsMessage(
4557        id = 1076,
4558        text = ""
4559    ),
4560    NewsMessage(
4561        id = 1077,
4562        text = ""
4563    ),
4564    NewsMessage(
4565        id = 1078,
4566        text = ""
4567    ),
4568    NewsMessage(
4569        id = 1079,
4570        text = ""
4571    ),
4572    NewsMessage(
4573        id = 1080,
4574        text = ""
4575    ),
4576    NewsMessage(
4577        id = 1081,
4578        text = ""
4579    ),
4580    NewsMessage(
4581        id = 1082,
4582        text = ""
4583    ),
4584    NewsMessage(
4585        id = 1083,
4586        text = ""
4587    ),
4588    NewsMessage(
4589        id = 1084,
4590        text = ""
4591    ),
4592    NewsMessage(
4593        id = 1085,
4594        text = ""
4595    ),
4596    NewsMessage(
4597        id = 1086,
4598        text = ""
4599    ),
4600    NewsMessage(
4601        id = 1087,
4602        text = ""
4603    ),
4604    NewsMessage(
4605        id = 1088,
4606        text = ""
4607    ),
4608    NewsMessage(
4609        id = 1089,
4610        text = ""
4611    ),
4612    NewsMessage(
4613        id = 1090,
4614        text = ""
4615    ),
4616    NewsMessage(
4617        id = 1091,
4618        text = ""
4619    ),
4620    NewsMessage(
4621        id = 1092,
4622        text = ""
4623    ),
4624    NewsMessage(
4625        id = 1093,
4626        text = ""
4627    ),
4628    NewsMessage(
4629        id = 1094,
4630        text = ""
4631    ),
4632    NewsMessage(
4633        id = 1095,
4634        text = ""
4635    ),
4636    NewsMessage(
4637        id = 1096,
4638        text = ""
4639    ),
4640    NewsMessage(
4641        id = 1097,
4642        text = ""
4643    ),
4644    NewsMessage(
4645        id = 1098,
4646        text = ""
4647    ),
4648    NewsMessage(
4649        id = 1099,
4650        text = ""
4651    ),*/
4652    NewsMessage(
4653        id = 9999,
4654        text = "first"
4655    )
4656)
4657
4658internal val aiNews = arrayOf(
4659    NewsMessage(
4660        id = -1,
4661        text = "If you are the game, then you can use the cheat to unlock a secret achievement...but it costs e1100 antimatter!?!"
4662    ),
4663    NewsMessage(
4664        id = -2,
4665        text = "\"Hm, I don't know how to fix this.\" - Someone who has not unlocked the achievement btw"
4666    ),
4667    NewsMessage(
4668        id = -3,
4669        text = "I thought the game was supposed to have a hard reset after eternity, but then I got randomized to start my first game with no save file \uD83D\uDE26",
4670        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.eternityUnlocked() }
4671    ),
4672    NewsMessage(
4673        id = -4,
4674        text = "I thought the update was 5 hours ago... I guess we'll have to put it back in 5 hours"
4675    ),
4676    NewsMessage(
4677        id = -5,
4678        text = "Local man finds 1.79e308 Planck volumes in his freezer."
4679    ),
4680    NewsMessage(
4681        id = -6,
4682        text = "ahah bad ticker suggestion"
4683    ),
4684    NewsMessage(
4685        id = -7,
4686        text = "I see you playing this game with an empty stomach and you're gonna start playing this game with an empty wallet."
4687    ),
4688    NewsMessage(
4689        id = -8,
4690        text = "just start... clicking. dont even think about wasting time. just do it."
4691    ),
4692    NewsMessage(
4693        id = -9,
4694        text = "the idea that the 9th dimension creates the 8th dimension is crazy"
4695    ),
4696    NewsMessage(
4697        id = -10,
4698        text = "...does that mean the [REDACTED] dimension produces the [REDACTED] dimension?"
4699    ),
4700    NewsMessage(
4701        id = -11,
4702        text = "\"click here to buy a stack of paperclips\" (when clicked you get Rickroll)",
4703        onClick = { MessageOnClickResponse(openUrl = "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ") }
4704    ),
4705    NewsMessage(
4706        id = -12,
4707        text = "In my spare time I read the short stories by T. H. White."
4708    ),
4709    NewsMessage(
4710        id = -13,
4711        text = "Holy crap, that's pretty wild"
4712    ),
4713    NewsMessage(
4714        id = -14,
4715        text = "Extinction is not a real thing. You can't wear the same hat 24/7."
4716    ),
4717    NewsMessage(
4718        id = -15,
4719        text = "If you can read this you've escaped from the game."
4720    ),
4721    NewsMessage(
4722        id = -16,
4723        text = "\"The hat trick I would love to see it\" - Noah Feldman"
4724    ),
4725    NewsMessage(
4726        id = -17,
4727        text = "look at hevi fight riotously on the discord server"
4728    ),
4729    NewsMessage(
4730        id = -18,
4731        text = "I just stole the \"Anti\" flag from a biker gang and I am packing it with dynamite, dynamite, dynamite, dynamite..."
4732    ),
4733    NewsMessage(
4734        id = -19,
4735        text = "No matter how much antimatter you have, the matter will always outweigh the anti-matter."
4736    ),
4737    NewsMessage(
4738        id = -20,
4739        text = "Franklin sealed the Omega squared. Now you can seal the Omega any way you want."
4740    ),
4741    NewsMessage(
4742        id = -21,
4743        text = "Is this the real 9th Dimension?"
4744    ),
4745    NewsMessage(
4746        id = -22,
4747        text = "Click here to exit the game"
4748    ),
4749    NewsMessage(
4750        id = -23,
4751        text = "This news ticker will now only AIR in the 9th dimension"
4752    ),
4753    NewsMessage(
4754        id = -24,
4755        text = "The 9th dimension doesn't exist because it was suppressed by the 9th dimension."
4756    ),
4757    NewsMessage(
4758        id = -25,
4759        text = "To matter or to antimatter, that is the question."
4760    ),
4761    NewsMessage(
4762        id = -26,
4763        text = "After 8 years of production and unstable universes, Chaosium will cease to exist in 5 hours."
4764    ),
4765    NewsMessage(
4766        id = -27,
4767        text = "Half of the problems in the 9th dimension don't even make sense. What are they even doing with all of that energy anyway?"
4768    ),
4769    NewsMessage(
4770        id = -28,
4771        text = "Wait, there's a nin--"
4772    ),
4773    NewsMessage(
4774        id = -29,
4775        text = "Somewhere, a madman and his army of Trimps are tampering with Matter Dimensions."
4776    ),
4777    NewsMessage(
4778        id = -30,
4779        text = "Why is there so many attached to this number? It doesn't make sense."
4780    ),
4781    NewsMessage(
4782        id = -31,
4783        text = "The news ticker is in the anti-news-ticker"
4784    ),
4785    NewsMessage(
4786        id = -32,
4787        text = "the 9th dimension doesn't exist because we are using nonary"
4788    ),
4789    NewsMessage(
4790        id = -33,
4791        text = "BREAKING NEWS: New research has shown that not one, not two, but three people can be said to have felt the same emotion as me when they read that as a ticker suggestion."
4792    ),
4793    NewsMessage(
4794        id = -34,
4795        text = "Here's an explanation of my 'problematic mood' - it's explained in the news ticker!"
4796    ),
4797    NewsMessage(
4798        id = -35,
4799        text = "Local crazy person tries selling anti-cookies"
4800    ),
4801    NewsMessage(
4802        id = -36,
4803        text = "Welcome to Antimatter Dimensions: Source, the free to play sequel to the cult classic AD:GO."
4804    ),
4805    NewsMessage(
4806        id = -37,
4807        text = "A new hand touches your antimatter!"
4808    ),
4809    NewsMessage(
4810        id = -38,
4811        text = "Who are we, anyways?"
4812    ),
4813    NewsMessage(
4814        id = -39,
4815        text = "We are the people who actually matter"
4816    ),
4817    NewsMessage(
4818        id = -40,
4819        text = "Matter?  Not even a hint."
4820    ),
4821    NewsMessage(
4822        id = -41,
4823        text = "I am the news guy, I make news. You don't read this? Well you'll just have to wait until you look in the mirror."
4824    ),
4825    NewsMessage(
4826        id = -42,
4827        text = "\"BOO!\" (news ticker moves 90 degrees)"
4828    ),
4829    NewsMessage(
4830        id = -43,
4831        text = "BUY A JAR OF STICKERS, HIGH QUALITY STICKERS, GREAT QUALITY STICKERS!"
4832    ),
4833    NewsMessage(
4834        id = -44,
4835        text = "I made news, you read it."
4836    ),
4837    NewsMessage(
4838        id = -45,
4839        text = "I like news."
4840    ),
4841    NewsMessage(
4842        id = -46,
4843        text = "I don't make news."
4844    ),
4845    NewsMessage(
4846        id = -47,
4847        text = "YOU MAKE NEWS AND I GET THE [REDACTED] NEWS"
4848    ),
4849    NewsMessage(
4850        id = -48,
4851        text = "The term \"Anti-infinity\" is a verb and cannot be a noun. Learn about its usage here."
4852    ),
4853    NewsMessage(
4854        id = -49,
4855        text = "And now, for the shopping list!"
4856    ),
4857    NewsMessage(
4858        id = -50,
4859        text = "The 9th dimension is clearly real! It's just not in our dimension."
4860    ),
4861    NewsMessage(
4862        id = -51,
4863        text = "I tried searching on google for the phrase \"9th dimension,\" and I'm okay with saying that, because it describes a very real thing."
4864    ),
4865    NewsMessage(
4866        id = -52,
4867        text = "You have no power here."
4868    ),
4869    NewsMessage(
4870        id = -53,
4871        text = "Some people had to settle for 10 dimensions because they couldn't break infinity. Big Crunch turned out to be just a short space in time."
4872    ),
4873    NewsMessage(
4874        id = -54,
4875        text = "There once was a young man in a strange land, and he dreamed of a universe filled with possibilities. One day, he asked his mother \"What's Expansion like?\" Her reply was \"Expansion times back then were unbalanced, and I said that's why you can't have equal amounts of matter and antimatter."
4876    ),
4877    NewsMessage(
4878        id = -55,
4879        text = "Market research firm tries to explain why some commodities don't perform as expected. Market research firm herself can't figure out why."
4880    ),
4881    NewsMessage(
4882        id = -56,
4883        text = "Bid your antimatter today!"
4884    ),
4885    NewsMessage(
4886        id = -57,
4887        text = "I am Alpha Centauri, Prime 001. My research has found that if you are alive in the 9th dimension, evil has taken over your dimension and is attempting to enact its plan to take over your mind and reverse time. You must do everything in your power to stop this plan from being implemented, now."
4888    ),
4889    NewsMessage(
4890        id = -58,
4891        text = "Stand by and unlock the 9th dimension for a secret achievement."
4892    ),
4893    NewsMessage(
4894        id = -59,
4895        text = "I fix bugs in 5 hours"
4896    ),
4897    NewsMessage(
4898        id = -60,
4899        text = "If you're reading this, that means you can read this."
4900    ),
4901    NewsMessage(
4902        id = -61,
4903        text = "Uhh... Hi. Could you tell me your name?"
4904    ),
4905    NewsMessage(
4906        id = -62,
4907        text = "Uh, no. This is too big for a QR code."
4908    ),
4909    NewsMessage(
4910        id = -63,
4911        text = "(right to left move it make)",
4912        leftToRight = true
4913    ),
4914    NewsMessage(
4915        id = -64,
4916        text = "Oh no the antimatter is coming for us!"
4917    ),
4918    NewsMessage(
4919        id = -65,
4920        text = "Why is there so much antimatter in this world? For a start, it's all produced by the antimatter factories on Earth. Secondly, the factories on"
4921    ),
4922    NewsMessage(
4923        id = -66,
4924        text = "It's nothing personal, bro. -All villager types"
4925    ),
4926    NewsMessage(
4927        id = -67,
4928        text = "I tried my best to read those tiny, handwritten messages, but whoever designed scythes hated me and stuck them in a corner. -Porygon-Z"
4929    ),
4930    NewsMessage(
4931        id = -68,
4932        text = "Hmm... I don't know how I ended up here. I don't even know if I'm supposed to be here. I just sit here and imagine what could have been if I hadn't stopped. Oh god, what could have been..."
4933    ),
4934    NewsMessage(
4935        id = -69,
4936        text = "Aw shucks, I finally hacked it enough to get to the C21 unlock, boss!"
4937    ),
4938    NewsMessage(
4939        id = -70,
4940        text = "Купил мужик антиматериют"
4941    ),
4942    NewsMessage(
4943        id = -71,
4944        text = "So you're telling me that I can post here, watch the titanic twice, come back and not be able to post?"
4945    ),
4946    NewsMessage(
4947        id = -72,
4948        text = "The last update was 5 hours ago. There is no next update, because the last update was 5 hours ago. We will update our podcast in 5 hours to cover the entire topic of 5 hours, because this is the last podcast ever, everyone knows that the update is always 5 hours away, but in reality it's more like 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 minutes away, but in our heads it's closer to an actual accurate update date, like 5 hours away but with a few tickspeed upgrades."
4949    ),
4950    NewsMessage(
4951        id = -73,
4952        text = "Yep. You. Get. Over. Your. Antidimensions."
4953    ),
4954    NewsMessage(
4955        id = -74,
4956        text = "Ad bonus: $1.79e308 (random team)"
4957    ),
4958    NewsMessage(
4959        id = -75,
4960        text = "Pass me that history, please"
4961    ),
4962    NewsMessage(
4963        id = -76,
4964        text = "Now releasing: Dimsension 1.79e308"
4965    ),
4966    NewsMessage(
4967        id = -77,
4968        text = "ur history teacher said i was mad for getting *insert something here* on my bday"
4969    ),
4970    NewsMessage(
4971        id = -78,
4972        text = "All is fair in antimatter"
4973    ),
4974    NewsMessage(
4975        id = -79,
4976        text = "The Mysterium, the 2nd Dimension"
4977    ),
4978    NewsMessage(
4979        id = -80,
4980        text = "Oops, I think we misticked."
4981    ),
4982    NewsMessage(
4983        id = -81,
4984        text = "please wait 5 HOURS FOR THE NEWS"
4985    ),
4986    NewsMessage(
4987        id = -82,
4988        text = "please wait til the weather improves"
4989    ),
4990    NewsMessage(
4991        id = -83,
4992        text = "Please, take a minute to appreciate the beauty of this news ticker."
4993    ),
4994    NewsMessage(
4995        id = -84,
4996        text = "How about this, working backwards? You know, from the time period covered by the question, that the game is set in, say, the 1950s. Now, if we talk about how games are set in the 2030s. Games are defined as any media, not necessarily of the form \"play some game\" (which, by the way, is a useful thing to have in one's vocabulary) but any media that can be understood as a game (i.e. a media that one can play back in time), and games are defined as any game that one can't play back in time."
4997    ),
4998    NewsMessage(
4999        id = -85,
5000        text = "How about AD, made by NaN? Higher quality, obviously. But still, [REDACTED]"
5001    ),
5002    NewsMessage(
5003        id = -86,
5004        text = "I thought the whole \"annihilation is just a phase\" quote was awesome until I realized it also gave me a [REDACTED]"
5005    ),
5006    NewsMessage(
5007        id = -87,
5008        text = "I have created an Omsi universe. And it's [REDACTED]"
5009    ),
5010    NewsMessage(
5011        id = -88,
5012        text = "I put [REDACTED] in the oven. It got [REDACTED] and I [REDACTED] am [REDACTED]"
5013    ),
5014    NewsMessage(
5015        id = -89,
5016        text = "What are the red herrings?"
5017    ),
5018    NewsMessage(
5019        id = -90,
5020        text = "Help we are stuck in Hevipelle's (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hevipelle) basement and hevi is forcing us to build a [REDACTED] wall to keep [REDACTED] away from [REDACTED]"
5021    ),
5022    NewsMessage(
5023        id = -91,
5024        text = "And now, for the weather. 70 and raining in North Dakota, remember those lovely, big, golden, iron curtain bars. Also remember that the [REDACTED] weather! Just remember: [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] outside [REDACTED]"
5025    ),
5026    NewsMessage(
5027        id = -92,
5028        text = "Let's play a little game. You will start with no possessions and no goals. Lets say you have [REDACTED] and your [REDACTED] is [REDACTED] you can [REDACTED]"
5029    ),
5030    NewsMessage(
5031        id = -93,
5032        text = "What are gems for?"
5033    ),
5034    NewsMessage(
5035        id = -94,
5036        text = "Who made the 5th dimension?"
5037    ),
5038    NewsMessage(
5039        id = -95,
5040        text = "I don't get it"
5041    ),
5042    NewsMessage(
5043        id = -96,
5044        text = "Why is nobody talking about the 9th dimension?"
5045    ),
5046    NewsMessage(
5047        id = -97,
5048        text = "This news sucks. Why no you don't get it?"
5049    ),
5050    NewsMessage(
5051        id = -98,
5052        text = "Sorry, your reality has disconnected from the 9th dimension. You will now remain in the 8th dimension until further notice."
5053    ),
5054    NewsMessage(
5055        id = -99,
5056        text = "Now holding Infinity!", // (When clicked change to <#351477791457542144>)
5057        onClick = { MessageOnClickResponse(updatedText = SpannableStringBuilder("<#351477791457542144>"))}
5058    ),
5059    NewsMessage(
5060        id = -100,
5061        text = "I get all my news from this Discord, not 5 hours of my life"
5062    ),
5063    NewsMessage(
5064        id = -101,
5065        text = "meow"
5066    ),
5067    NewsMessage(
5068        id = -102,
5069        text = "You are now manually blinking."
5070    ),
5071    NewsMessage(
5072        id = -103,
5073        text = "Sorry, your mic is playing Antimatter Dimensions."
5074    ),
5075    NewsMessage(
5076        id = -104,
5077        text = "Sorry, your reality has disconnected from the 9th dimension."
5078    ),
5079    NewsMessage(
5080        id = -105,
5081        text = "Apparently I am the bad guy in this video. I'm the one who did nothing."
5082    ),
5083    NewsMessage(
5084        id = -106,
5085        text = "There are multiple ways to win this game. You can either type in your coordinates directly into the game, or you can type them into google which produces a different result. If you are getting the \"same exact thing\" result, your computer must be malfunctioning. Test results indicate that your computer is malfunctioning and you should check your firmware for vulnerabilities. You can also try turning off the news and re-running the game, but doing this only makes the \"the weather is X\" joke. Waiting six hours for a news message is NOT a news message."
5086    ),
5087    NewsMessage(
5088        id = -107,
5089        text = "The weather is actually a thing. Scientists have confirmed that there is a correlation between the amount of Antimatter in the earth and the amount of weather. The earth is indeed a magnet, but scientists now hypothesize that as the earth warms up, the magnetic reconnection will accelerate, and this could cause a domino effect to cascade throughout the world, eventually leading to uncontrolled nuclear winter and spontaneous antimatter implosion."
5090    ),
5091    NewsMessage(
5092        id = -108,
5093        text = "The tenth dimension is not a real thing. Stop telling people that."
5094    ),
5095    NewsMessage(
5096        id = -109,
5097        text = "Don't tell Hevi it's not a real thing"
5098    ),
5099    NewsMessage(
5100        id = -110,
5101        text = "i dont know how to fix this"
5102    ),
5103    NewsMessage(
5104        id = -111,
5105        text = "This update is not for you!"
5106    ),
5107    NewsMessage(
5108        id = -112,
5109        text = "This is the last time, to buy items, you must pay a small fee of 1.79e308 real money."
5110    ),
5111    NewsMessage(
5112        id = -113,
5113        text = "What is Antimatter? Long ago, gods lived in harmony. Then, everything changed when the apocalypse broke out. Chaos reigns, and even higher dimensions are being built. This is your fate. Build the Antimatter Dimensions. Amen."
5114    ),
5115    NewsMessage(
5116        id = -114,
5117        text = "Water under the bridge?"
5118    ),
5119    NewsMessage(
5120        id = -115,
5121        text = "I wonder if anyone has posted about this before me?"
5122    ),
5123    NewsMessage(
5124        id = -116,
5125        text = "This post has been shared many times. Who knows how many?"
5126    ),
5127    NewsMessage(
5128        id = -117,
5129        text = "Good night!"
5130    ),
5131    NewsMessage(
5132        id = -118,
5133        text = "I made a timeline of my replicanti battles, which can be found here."
5134    ),
5135    NewsMessage(
5136        id = -119,
5137        text = "\"Quantumum Battle Royale coming in 5 hours!\" (Rumor: 5 hours)"
5138    ),
5139    NewsMessage(
5140        id = -120,
5141        text = "Rumor says Nords will start producing replicanti in five hours."
5142    ),
5143    NewsMessage(
5144        id = -121,
5145        text = "I am an Nordsweeper, stealing their jobs to support the replicanti factories"
5146    ),
5147    NewsMessage(
5148        id = -122,
5149        text = "Used to be, AD was the best game. Nowadays, it's all crapp."
5150    ),
5151    NewsMessage(
5152        id = -123,
5153        text = "You better stop looking at these news ticker suggestions, before your fingers dry up."
5154    ),
5155    NewsMessage(
5156        id = -124,
5157        text = "Antimatter Dimensions *Loses* bee movie."
5158    ),
5159    NewsMessage(
5160        id = -125,
5161        text = "Oh, god, there's replicanti in my peas.",
5162        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.replicantiUnlocked() }
5163    ),
5164    NewsMessage(
5165        id = -126,
5166        text = "Oh, god, I'm stepping on a replicanti."
5167    ),
5168    NewsMessage(
5169        id = -127,
5170        text = "Hello, world!"
5171    ),
5172    NewsMessage(
5173        id = -128,
5174        text = "Welcome to /r/AskReddit about submarines. - accurate as of January 8th, 2017"
5175    ),
5176    NewsMessage(
5177        id = -129,
5178        text = "Antimatter being researched by the government. Is it safe to say that this news ticker is fake?"
5179    ),
5180    NewsMessage(
5181        id = -130,
5182        text = "Does the news show at Infinite Antimatter?"
5183    ),
5184    NewsMessage(
5185        id = -131,
5186        text = "Have you saved your game? Yes. Have you quit your game? Nothin' wrong with this save. just keep holding that key."
5187    ),
5188    NewsMessage(
5189        id = -132,
5190        text = "i clicked too fast...my fps dropped"
5191    ),
5192    NewsMessage(
5193        id = -133,
5194        text = "I found out that the year is 20XX. I was going to make a news ticker but then I realized that it's just a ticker."
5195    ),
5196    NewsMessage(
5197        id = -134,
5198        text = "\"One of these days I'll get bored of reading news for a while\" - old man"
5199    ),
5200    NewsMessage(
5201        id = -135,
5202        text = "'Tis the season for new antiques! Get your first ever LOOK at these unique objects, before they're gone!' Sold out!"
5203    ),
5204    NewsMessage(
5205        id = -136,
5206        text = "3 things that antimatter, 1 more thing to infinity"
5207    ),
5208    NewsMessage(
5209        id = -137,
5210        text = "Buy the paperclip emojis now at https://aarextiaokhiao.github.io/blob/master/docs/en.json"
5211    ),
5212    NewsMessage(
5213        id = -138,
5214        text = "click here to unlock the next update"
5215    ),
5216    NewsMessage(
5217        id = -139,
5218        text = "(If you want you can make this only show when the news actually loads)"
5219    ),
5220    NewsMessage(
5221        id = -140,
5222        text = "Malicious men are trying to make antimatter money, but their attempt is getting in the 9th dimension. What do you think about that?"
5223    ),
5224    NewsMessage(
5225        id = -141,
5226        text = "Hey Siri, grind antimatter galaxies"
5227    ),
5228    NewsMessage(
5229        id = -142,
5230        text = "Have you saved your game? If so, then you can continue playing without"
5231    ),
5232    NewsMessage(
5233        id = -143,
5234        text = "It's like Getting your first arcane point. You know, like in the old ad where you're like \"I get this ad, I should make this ad"
5235    ),
5236    NewsMessage(
5237        id = -144,
5238        text = "Ooga Booga"
5239    ),
5240    NewsMessage(
5241        id = -145,
5242        text = "Boo has his own webpage! You might even call it \"Boo's Dandy\"\">https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olli%27_Web#Main_page>"
5243    ),
5244    NewsMessage(
5245        id = -146,
5246        text = "Meeseeks and nerds clash in epic GG war"
5247    ),
5248    NewsMessage(
5249        id = -147,
5250        text = "My final test has come out! It was a simple math problem, just the two greatest chess GM's ever! Guess what happened? Both got annihilated!"
5251    ),
5252    NewsMessage(
5253        id = -148,
5254        text = "Oh wow, that's 67.3%, which is actually OK, because it's logarithmic"
5255    ),
5256    NewsMessage(
5257        id = -149,
5258        text = "\"Aleph_Time\" is that logarithmic scale joke?"
5259    ),
5260    NewsMessage(
5261        id = -150,
5262        text = "Hello everyone, my name is Anti-Dio. I produce antimatter through a process you all know as \"antimatter decomposition\" you may recall this from my test report earlier this month I tested wether or not my ranch produces antimatter or not... everything was fine until that point, when I added a dash of lag to the equation, and it became a vicious cycle accelerating the rate at which antimatter is produced, which in turn accelerates the rate at which you all die. I've saved this by using a unique combination of genetic engineering and big data mining, I'm hoping to one day pull the trigger on a mechanimatter device that creates dimensions behind closed doors, but for now, this has all been a race to the bottom of which system producethiks, and in the end, we'll take a bite out of your (read error: allowed) pie. Goodbye."
5263    ),
5264    NewsMessage(
5265        id = -151,
5266        text = "\"I propose that we form a phylogenetic tree of anti-history, just like tree of life. Everyone would be credited with originating from the ancestor of that anti-tree.\" -Dio, toast of eternal damnation"
5267    ),
5268    NewsMessage(
5269        id = -152,
5270        text = "historian: I love how each generation looks back on an earlier generation and think, \"Those generations were really bad\""
5271    ),
5272    NewsMessage(
5273        id = -153,
5274        text = "\"My parents went to anti-university\" - my grandparents"
5275    ),
5276    NewsMessage(
5277        id = -154,
5278        text = "Only anti-jokes are funny"
5279    ),
5280    NewsMessage(
5281        id = -155,
5282        text = "Infinity machine breaks Infinity"
5283    ),
5284    NewsMessage(
5285        id = -156,
5286        text = "Okay boomer, you get your first taste of antimalware with this one."
5287    ),
5288    NewsMessage(
5289        id = -157,
5290        text = "This program cannot access confidential information, such as the IP addresses of the Tamazight Vaults."
5291    ),
5292    NewsMessage(
5293        id = -158,
5294        text = "Game Development is fun, right? That's why so many hobbyists make games, and why so few professionals make games."
5295    ),
5296    NewsMessage(
5297        id = -159,
5298        text = "I was the first to notice that the 'news' ticker on my mobile notification is always 30 seconds behind the 'entertainment' ticker. This is most definitely not a bug or a feature, and will be fixed in 5 hours."
5299    ),
5300    NewsMessage(
5301        id = -160,
5302        text = "This news ticker always appears to speedrun a ticker asking for 'world records', do you even know what speedrun this is? Is this a news ticker or something?"
5303    ),
5304    NewsMessage(
5305        id = -161,
5306        text = "The next level is not unlocking extra replicanti; it is actually boosting replicanti."
5307    ),
5308    NewsMessage(
5309        id = -162,
5310        text = "Why does one galaxy has 9 galaxies and the 8th dimension, and the first 10 dimensions doesn't exist? Well, we'll have to solve that question in a minute."
5311    ),
5312    NewsMessage(
5313        id = -163,
5314        text = "So why on EARTH DIDN'T SOMEONE JUST SAY THAT? I thought that AD has some kind of cheat that makes it so that, when you buy a dimension, it actually creates 9 galaxies instead of 10"
5315    ),
5316    NewsMessage(
5317        id = -164,
5318        text = "M'antel, antimatter, anti-talk to me"
5319    ),
5320    NewsMessage(
5321        id = -165,
5322        text = "AD has anti-parts, you'll hate them"
5323    ),
5324    NewsMessage(
5325        id = -166,
5326        text = "AD is basically a badly disguised dystopia at this point"
5327    ),
5328    NewsMessage(
5329        id = -167,
5330        text = "Hold M. You forgot to take all the anti-matter out!"
5331    ),
5332    NewsMessage(
5333        id = -168,
5334        text = "AD will be implemented in 5 hours"
5335    ),
5336    NewsMessage(
5337        id = -169,
5338        text = "Click this to unlock the 10th Dimension"
5339    ),
5340    NewsMessage(
5341        id = -170,
5342        text = "Click here to complete a secret against HEVI"
5343    ),
5344    NewsMessage(
5345        id = -171,
5346        text = "You are doing a good job there"
5347    ),
5348    NewsMessage(
5349        id = -172,
5350        text = "Hevi? Are you sure you want to buy that?"
5351    ),
5352    NewsMessage(
5353        id = -173,
5354        text = "Buy premium antimatter to help the world's least developed get ahead!"
5355    ),
5356    NewsMessage(
5357        id = -174,
5358        text = "One of the most influential people in neuroscience believes that our perception of reality comes from 10 dimensions instead of 8"
5359    ),
5360    NewsMessage(
5361        id = -175,
5362        text = "Why is there so many zeroes in 'nowhere'?"
5363    ),
5364    NewsMessage(
5365        id = -176,
5366        text = "There are no bugs in this game, they're just features"
5367    ),
5368    NewsMessage(
5369        id = -177,
5370        text = "\"Click to advance 5 hours in time.\" (Now only show up after you advance more than an hour ago)"
5371    ),
5372    NewsMessage(
5373        id = -178,
5374        text = "Oh god my phone is being watched"
5375    ),
5376    NewsMessage(
5377        id = -179,
5378        text = "Welcome to the newest version of Antimatter Dimensions. Now with less features!"
5379    ),
5380    NewsMessage(
5381        id = -180,
5382        text = "\"That's gonna get in trouble\" (less likely to get in trouble)"
5383    ),
5384    NewsMessage(
5385        id = -181,
5386        text = "\"please don't disable the news ticker\" (Instead of having a black screen just a white one with a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long)"
5387    ),
5388    NewsMessage(
5389        id = -182,
5390        text = "\"You have 7 biological minutes.\" (Instead of giving a boost to any strains)"
5391    ),
5392    NewsMessage(
5393        id = -183,
5394        text = "\"According to quantum string theory, there is a fundamental connective that binds the 3rd and 8th dimensions.  This means that any pill or injection that tries to bind the 9th dimension will be thwarted and rendered useless.\" (bound to get in 10 minutes)"
5395    ),
5396    NewsMessage(
5397        id = -184,
5398        text = "\"Click this to gain a secret achievement.\" (Now only show up after you gain at least 1 antimatter, screenshot proves)"
5399    ),
5400    NewsMessage(
5401        id = -185,
5402        text = "\"The secret to winning Antimatter Dimensions is to unbind the 9th dimension and unlock the 10th dimension\" (can be done only after unlocking the secret achievement: \"Eternity\" http://imgur.com/E4261C7h)"
5403    ),
5404    NewsMessage(
5405        id = -186,
5406        text = "\"Click here to gain 1 matter.\" (only shows up after you beat IC5)",
5407        unlocked = { InfinityChallenge(5).isCompleted }
5408    ),
5409    NewsMessage(
5410        id = -187,
5411        text = "I thought the update was"
5412    ),
5413    NewsMessage(
5414        id = -188,
5415        text = "Now that you possess all 8 dimensions, it is possible to get the no-edge achievement. However, if you get the no-edge achievement, the game breaks."
5416    ),
5417    NewsMessage(
5418        id = -189,
5419        text = "You just became a part of history."
5420    ),
5421    NewsMessage(
5422        id = -190,
5423        text = "Hell hath antimatter so I don't want to live there."
5424    ),
5425    NewsMessage(
5426        id = -191,
5427        text = "I LIKE THAT DIMENSION 9 IN CLASS"
5428    ),
5429    NewsMessage(
5430        id = -192,
5431        text = "\"1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10 11 12 13 ...\" -Back to the future"
5432    ),
5433    NewsMessage(
5434        id = -193,
5435        text = "You have reached infinity, there is no universe, you are an eternity away from there."
5436    ),
5437    NewsMessage(
5438        id = -194,
5439        text = "IM MADE THIS GAME GREAT AND RANDOMLY ACHIEVABLE"
5440    ),
5441    NewsMessage(
5442        id = -195,
5443        text = "Welcome to the first ever, DIMENSION 9 IN CLASS! An endless stream of possibilities greets you! You may never create an infinite number of 8th dimensions, but you can create an infinite number of 8th dimensions, and you can increase the starting values of both dimensions by adding them together. Nice and simple, I call it Antimatter Dimensions."
5444    ),
5445    NewsMessage(
5446        id = -196,
5447        text = "age 8-12: play elder puzzles"
5448    ),
5449    NewsMessage(
5450        id = -197,
5451        text = "What does it mean if someone is \"young and full of puzzles\"? Does \"puzzled\" make that person young and full of puzzles?"
5452    ),
5453    NewsMessage(
5454        id = -198,
5455        text = "To the customer in aisle 6th who bought a fifth of antimatter, I say buy a sixth! Buy it now!"
5456    ),
5457    NewsMessage(
5458        id = -199,
5459        text = "Dear sir, we don't make Anti-Atomic Bread for Antimatter Pizza, we make Antimatter Bread for you!"
5460    ),
5461    NewsMessage(
5462        id = -200,
5463        text = "Yay! Lets make some antimatter!"
5464    ),
5465    NewsMessage(
5466        id = -201,
5467        text = "THE ANTIMATTER BREAD COMPANY DOESN'T EXIST!"
5468    ),
5469    NewsMessage(
5470        id = -202,
5471        text = "Click here to exit the news",
5472        onClick = { MessageOnClickResponse(disableNews = true) }
5473    ),
5474    NewsMessage(
5475        id = -203,
5476        text = "I thought the update was 5 hours away, but it actually took me 6 hours to post this because I was behind on my update. I'll be honest, I'm not sure how many update I need to get though, if any."
5477    ),
5478    NewsMessage(
5479        id = -204,
5480        text = "To count past Infinity Points: take a moment to remember that each Infinity Point is 3.1415926534255412730527058904816097160734272605282087086280545991105332533235580946684229821413112145239989073467482298142857147816092947183909298728571478160929471839229814054718139332405281814522993758179568572657123928651310585727283312547569289993282758012466111097726331726572854689993262899140527282527842535179715673311119101119015549552926278425351797156777263324503517971568583819492728180977263317971568432854104102725270847764253513791376909285717082857262987160927285711464363930996928984794380124566417932628571475245456845692846809466184179328572814384259326270817052727852348111714690577263323799509856279752173478925"
5481    ),
5482    NewsMessage(
5483        id = -205,
5484        text = "\"Watch out, these news aren't supposed to be in.\" (appears when you buy the news for the first time)"
5485    ),
5486    NewsMessage(
5487        id = -206,
5488        text = "These are all the time studies that never got into the game.",
5489        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.eternityUnlocked() }
5490    ),
5491    NewsMessage(
5492        id = -207,
5493        text = "With the release of the next update, we're introducing a new dimension - the 9th Dimension. To unlock this dimension, you just have to collect a lot of paperclips."
5494    ),
5495    NewsMessage(
5496        id = -208,
5497        text = "Why does nobody talk about Tungsten?"
5498    ),
5499    NewsMessage(
5500        id = -209,
5501        text = "and now we return to your regular news... for the weatherman, there seems to be a decent amount of particles and ozone holes, which means less ozone layer to break, which means less particles to catch fire and cause global warming. But, ozone layer to melt, glaciers to run, and overpopulation. All around us is a blurple glow, almost blue, almost purplish-blue. It's been a grand, colorful season. Here, grab a handful of these paperclips, dear. They're quite small, I just happen to have them here. Now, grab a handful of your fellow Earthicans, grab a handful of your antimatter, and strap yourselves in. It's gonna be a bumpy one. We'll be there in five hours. The antimatter is gonna melt your ozone layer, and the glaciers are gonna melt your ice caps. All in all, it's gonna be a nice, smooth, non-slippery one. Unless it isn't. [Blurple glow trails off, and the bluer glow begins to spread throughout the sky. The bluer glow begins to fade as the purple glow begins to grow brighter, almost bluish, before finally disappearing altogether. The purple glow grows brighter still, as the bluer glow grows weaker, almost useless, before finally disappearing entirely, as the bluer glow fades. All around us, the purple glow grows stronger, almost killing it off completely. It could kill us. It could take us the rest of our lives to write this. - The Echidnas, when asked why the purple glow grows stronger, than the bluer glow.]"
5502    ),
5503    NewsMessage(
5504        id = -210,
5505        text = "Scientists have discovered farts are really antimatter, and matter is just normal matter."
5506    ),
5507    NewsMessage(
5508        id = -211,
5509        text = "Time for the weather to change."
5510    ),
5511    NewsMessage(
5512        id = -212,
5513        text = "I HAVE MOVED TO THE 01th DIMENSION"
5514    ),
5515    NewsMessage(
5516        id = -213,
5517        text = "Nah, just kidding"
5518    ),
5519    NewsMessage(
5520        id = -214,
5521        text = "\"i'm not gonna lie, theres way too many good ones in the game already\" - poor guy who played minigame enhancement"
5522    ),
5523    NewsMessage(
5524        id = -215,
5525        text = "item has gone missing for 7 days and 1 night"
5526    ),
5527    NewsMessage(
5528        id = -216,
5529        text = "Shocking new study reveals that the biggest secret to winning Antimatter Dimensions is 'Not Being There'."
5530    ),
5531    NewsMessage(
5532        id = -217,
5533        text = "The next update is in 18000 seconds. Stop wasting your time reading this. Focus on the game."
5534    ),
5535    NewsMessage(
5536        id = -218,
5537        text = "idk if this makes news"
5538    ),
5539    NewsMessage(
5540        id = -219,
5541        text = "(disabling news will make news notations take priority over other notifications)"
5542    ),
5543    NewsMessage(
5544        id = -220,
5545        text = "You don't want to hear this, child."
5546    ),
5547    NewsMessage(
5548        id = -221,
5549        text = "Click here to disassemble the news ticker for a trace amount of useless paperclips.",
5550        onClick = { MessageOnClickResponse(paperclip = true) }
5551    ),
5552    NewsMessage(
5553        id = -222,
5554        text = "Press alt+f4 to unlock 9th dimension"
5555    ),
5556    NewsMessage(
5557        id = -223,
5558        text = "Hold you mean that hevi cant unlock the ninth dimension wtf"
5559    ),
5560    NewsMessage(
5561        id = -224,
5562        text = "Finally hevi figured out how to get the 9th dimension... guess he never really cared though."
5563    ),
5564    NewsMessage(
5565        id = -225,
5566        text = "Imagine being a meme."
5567    ),
5568    NewsMessage(
5569        id = -226,
5570        text = "Posted on June 10, 2016 by Anonymous"
5571    ),
5572    NewsMessage(
5573        id = -227,
5574        text = "This is your news. Refresh whenever."
5575    ),
5576    NewsMessage(
5577        id = -228,
5578        text = "I see you in the news. So, what do you play - 1E209"
5579    ),
5580    NewsMessage(
5581        id = -229,
5582        text = "Do you really want to leave your keyboard at home? We are not supposed to leave news at home, are we?"
5583    ),
5584    NewsMessage(
5585        id = -230,
5586        text = "It is being created..."
5587    ),
5588    NewsMessage(
5589        id = -231,
5590        text = "Took you long enough"
5591    ),
5592    NewsMessage(
5593        id = -232,
5594        text = "You're now logged out of this tab"
5595    ),
5596    NewsMessage(
5597        id = -233,
5598        text = "Close this tab for maintenance"
5599    ),
5600    NewsMessage(
5601        id = -234,
5602        text = "To make matter or antimatter, you just have to look outside. The factory in Salzburg has closed down because the matter there doesn't want to part with its newest invention, which is said to be able to produce antimatter in one go! The last person to open this door was never seen again."
5603    ),
5604    NewsMessage(
5605        id = -235,
5606        text = "You are living. You occupy space. You are large. You are neither small nor large-sized. You are neither oblong nor round. You are neither blue nor red. You are anti-blue. You are anti-red. You are anti-brown. You are anti-brown matter. You are anti-yellow. You are anti-green. You are anti-yellow matter. You are anti-blue. You are anti-green anti-matter. You are anti-red. You are anti-white. You are anti-red anti-matter. You are anti-white anti-matter. You are anti-brown matter. You are anti-white anti-matter. You are anti-white anti-matter."
5607    ),
5608    NewsMessage(
5609        id = -236,
5610        text = "Welcome to"
5611    ),
5612    NewsMessage(
5613        id = -237,
5614        text = "THANK YOU FOR VISITING THE SAME WEEKS AGO I LOVE YOU\" (TIPS)"
5615    ),
5616    NewsMessage(
5617        id = -238,
5618        text = "\"i thought the whole game was in the news ticker\" (before they get weird)"
5619    ),
5620    NewsMessage(
5621        id = -239,
5622        text = "\"I wonder what the game is worth\" - crazy person"
5623    ),
5624    NewsMessage(
5625        id = -240,
5626        text = "\"Is anyone working on breaking infinity?\" (Seriously, this game needs to be Oceanhorned.)"
5627    ),
5628    NewsMessage(
5629        id = -241,
5630        text = "I found out there are multiple versions of this game. One of these is called 'Standard Pro'. Another one is called 'Low Pro'. I'm not even sure if these are the same game or not."
5631    ),
5632    NewsMessage(
5633        id = -242,
5634        text = "Is that a Bad Thing or a Good Thing? That depends on if it's a GOOD Thing or A LIE."
5635    ),
5636    NewsMessage(
5637        id = -243,
5638        text = "\"Hevi kind of forgot about the update, but the update certainly hasn't forgotten about him\" - Kajfik"
5639    ),
5640    NewsMessage(
5641        id = -244,
5642        text = "The Big Crunch. What could that be?  About 4*1024 Big Crunch points?  About 1.8e308 antimatter points?  About the same as a galaxy?  About the same as a galaxy, you say? Just look at that.  An antimatter galaxy.  Only this game can provide such a vast amount of antimatter, and it's FUN!  I said \"fun\"!  What's not to love?"
5643    ),
5644    NewsMessage(
5645        id = -245,
5646        text = "Click here to exit the application"
5647    ),
5648    NewsMessage(
5649        id = -246,
5650        text = "Wait, there's a mobile version? When?"
5651    ),
5652    NewsMessage(
5653        id = -247,
5654        text = "Im not sure if you mobile guys are beautiful or whatever but theres this news ticker that's sharing my feelings with the world"
5655    ),
5656    NewsMessage(
5657        id = -248,
5658        text = "I thought the update was 5 hours away"
5659    ),
5660    NewsMessage(
5661        id = -249,
5662        text = "The best-kept secret in the universe is the KISS-IT secret. Showcasing your appreciation for the maintenance men today!"
5663    ),
5664    NewsMessage(
5665        id = -250,
5666        text = "The contest is a tie. Mischief will be determined by the secret achievement."
5667    ),
5668    NewsMessage(
5669        id = -251,
5670        text = "Back in my day, we needed a secret achievement to unlock the <<$!19>> achievement. It was a fairly simple system: you had to find a secret message in the game, find the secret achievement, and then, from that, you would be able to unlock the achievement."
5671    ),
5672    NewsMessage(
5673        id = -252,
5674        text = "We have evolved a fast hand in the antimatter stakes."
5675    ),
5676    NewsMessage(
5677        id = -253,
5678        text = "Hello, how'd your day go?"
5679    ),
5680    NewsMessage(
5681        id = -254,
5682        text = "How'd your ⢿─┃│? Good, because today we're having a little chat about the 5th dimension."
5683    ),
5684    NewsMessage(
5685        id = -255,
5686        text = "What's Antimatter going to do?${SPACES_BETWEEN_NEWSTICKERS}Ah ha, I'm back."
5687    ),
5688    NewsMessage(
5689        id = -256,
5690        text = "Imagine being a 9th dimension. [WIP]"
5691    ),
5692    NewsMessage(
5693        id = -257,
5694        text = "Woo hoo, we've lost the war,"
5695    ),
5696    NewsMessage(
5697        id = -258,
5698        text = "Lore: Grand Theft Antimatter"
5699    ),
5700    NewsMessage(
5701        id = -259,
5702        text = "Hm, I don't get why people think there is a 9th dimension. The 9th dimension is explained in detail in the [[Infinite Teleport Project]] video, and in a [[Word Problem]] that [[can be viewed here|http://www.thingiverse.com/id98109802713176601414569]] ."
5703    ),
5704    NewsMessage(
5705        id = -260,
5706        text = "In the [[GameFAQs|http://www.gfaq.com/gfaqs/this-game-faq-by-title]], one of the most popular [[news ticker messages|http://www.gfaq.com/tug/this-game-faq-by-title]]. You should also check out [[our newest attraction, the [[5th dimension|http://www.gfaq.com/gfaqs/this-game-faq-by-name]] and [[nothing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXMskKTw3Bs)."
5707    ),
5708    NewsMessage(
5709        id = -261,
5710        text = "I have waited a whole eternity for this day...NOW! I can finally finish my slowmode, because today is  day 0. I also forgot to change the  slowmode to 6 hours because you can't see the slowmode, but I will have to wait until next reboot to find out how long this slowmode will last.... -some mysterious being who hasn't finished his slowmode yet"
5711    ),
5712    NewsMessage(
5713        id = -262,
5714        text = "Hey you, you’re finally awake. You were trying to buy a dimension, but it's impossible."
5715    ),
5716    NewsMessage(
5717        id = -263,
5718        text = "Press F to pay respects"
5719    ),
5720    NewsMessage(
5721        id = -264,
5722        text = "Press M to pay antimatter"
5723    ),
5724    NewsMessage(
5725        id = -265,
5726        text = "Press L to revive the dead"
5727    ),
5728    NewsMessage(
5729        id = -266,
5730        text = "Your CPU is too powerful. You need to give it a big crunch."
5731    ),
5732    NewsMessage(
5733        id = -267,
5734        text = "Roses are red. Violett are blue. Tom are red. Antimatter are blue. We exist because of the unbeatable antimatter that is antimatter. What is it that makes us different? I don't know. It may even be the non-existence of antimatter."
5735    ),
5736    NewsMessage(
5737        id = -268,
5738        text = "I'm not sure if I want to buy the full version of this game, or a little earlier, but I can say this: The reduction in quality of the earlier games is worse than the reduction in quality of the later games."
5739    ),
5740    NewsMessage(
5741        id = -269,
5742        text = "I think the \"I want to see the cutscenes\" list is better"
5743    ),
5744    NewsMessage(
5745        id = -270,
5746        text = "I have a bad feeling reading this"
5747    ),
5748    NewsMessage(
5749        id = -271,
5750        text = "where are you? (point upwards) --> in a keep, between dimensions (point downwards) --> in a cell, between dimensions"
5751    ),
5752    NewsMessage(
5753        id = -272,
5754        text = "Instructions clear, got a ninth dimension epiphany"
5755    ),
5756    NewsMessage(
5757        id = -273,
5758        text = "Want to play a secret achievement? Yeah, I get that. But say it loud, say it clearly, and do it by ticking a certain secret achievement. Like I said, it's not easy, and there's lots of it. Also, don't forget your Infinity, or your in is thi--"
5759    ),
5760    NewsMessage(
5761        id = -274,
5762        text = "MEE6 was seen in my antimatter lab trying to tell me that I am the matter of the 8th dimension."
5763    ),
5764    NewsMessage(
5765        id = -275,
5766        text = "What if"
5767    ),
5768    NewsMessage(
5769        id = -276,
5770        text = "I'm sure you've heard this many times before, but the real secret to winning Antimatter Dimensions is to unpack the dimensions, and then, BOOM! You have antimatter.  Of course, you need to release the bits that don't work, so what exactly is an anti-bit? Who is Zalgo? What is Algolia? Why can't I buy that? WHY CAN'T I GET THAT? More likely, we're going to get a bunch of hype and then nothing will happen."
5771    ),
5772    NewsMessage(
5773        id = -277,
5774        text = "Oh, hevi is coming to town to pick a new plumber"
5775    ),
5776    NewsMessage(
5777        id = -278,
5778        text = "There is no plumber in Antimatter Dimensions. I'm pretty sure that last guy lied."
5779    ),
5780    NewsMessage(
5781        id = -279,
5782        text = "Welp."
5783    ),
5784    NewsMessage(
5785        id = -280,
5786        text = "c9 is the new 9th dimension!"
5787    ),
5788    NewsMessage(
5789        id = -281,
5790        text = "Click on this ticker to get nothing."
5791    ),
5792    NewsMessage(
5793        id = -282,
5794        text = "PM me any questions about these 5-Hour Plans or the upcoming reality update and I'll be glad to help you out."
5795    ),
5796    NewsMessage(
5797        id = -283,
5798        text = "What if you Unrar, renamed, and renamed again did it again? Ha? You thought that."
5799    ),
5800    NewsMessage(
5801        id = -284,
5802        text = "i titled my post \"same ticker\" instead of \"the same idea\" because i actually changed the grammar in that post but i'll be eterned for the sake of argument that it seems slightly confusing for now - boo"
5803    ),
5804    NewsMessage(
5805        id = -285,
5806        text = "i title my suggestions \"The Price Is Right\" instead of \"The 9th Dimension\" because it's more fun ;)"
5807    ),
5808    NewsMessage(
5809        id = -286,
5810        text = "Why do we call heaven the ninth dimension and hell the eighth dimension?"
5811    ),
5812    NewsMessage(
5813        id = -287,
5814        text = "Eternals have the right to expect less from the powers that be. They are fed up!"
5815    ),
5816    NewsMessage(
5817        id = -288,
5818        text = "Antimatter should be called matter and matter should be called antimatter"
5819    ),
5820    NewsMessage(
5821        id = -289,
5822        text = "Infinity is just a concept. Matter antimatters is just an idle game."
5823    ),
5824    NewsMessage(
5825        id = -290,
5826        text = "Hevipelle admits to having 'poor judgment' in invading people's privacy."
5827    ),
5828    NewsMessage(
5829        id = -291,
5830        text = "Have you heard of the nine hells of antimatter? I heard they're pretty cool.\" -e210 in Minecraft"
5831    ),
5832    NewsMessage(
5833        id = -292,
5834        text = "The temperature in hell is 102.5 degrees."
5835    ),
5836    NewsMessage(
5837        id = -293,
5838        text = "How do you get matter/antimatter in a dimension with zero dimensions?"
5839    ),
5840    NewsMessage(
5841        id = -294,
5842        text = "Wanna pass layer of prestige? Move very fast, close to speed of light. Heck, even faster."
5843    ),
5844    NewsMessage(
5845        id = -295,
5846        text = "If the universe is expanding, does it anti-explain the distance?"
5847    ),
5848    NewsMessage(
5849        id = -296,
5850        text = "Why is it called the \"Nurse who delivered the pizzas was drunk\" or the \"Nurse delivered the pizzas was under the influence\" ?"
5851    ),
5852    NewsMessage(
5853        id = -297,
5854        text = "The first antimatter was sealed away for thousands of years, then, some kid on a slack channel started messing with it. It became a dimension."
5855    ),
5856    NewsMessage(
5857        id = -298,
5858        text = "VR is a thing. We VR people have banned the next update."
5859    ),
5860    NewsMessage(
5861        id = -299,
5862        text = "\"I wish I didn't waste my news message suggestion complaining about how I wasted my news message suggestion because I wasted my news message suggestion because...\" -Someone who really cares about news messages"
5863    ),
5864    NewsMessage(
5865        id = -300,
5866        text = "We have to get the popcorn!"
5867    ),
5868    NewsMessage(
5869        id = -301,
5870        text = "If antimatter were to fall in a dimension with no one around, did anything even happen?"
5871    ),
5872    NewsMessage(
5873        id = -302,
5874        text = "We have to get the pumpkin out of the oven!"
5875    ),
5876    NewsMessage(
5877        id = -303,
5878        text = "Help, I'm trapped"
5879    ),
5880    NewsMessage(
5881        id = -304,
5882        text = "And now, for the weather."
5883    ),
5884    NewsMessage(
5885        id = -305,
5886        text = "A Swiss court on Tuesday sentenced a man to life imprisonment for \"wanting to create a black hole with a tiny antimatter galaxy in it.\" The sentence was reportedly the harshest ever handed down for a crime that \"merely sought to demonstrate the impossibility of his own imprisonment\"."
5887    ),
5888    NewsMessage(
5889        id = -306,
5890        text = "\"I want to create a black hole with a tiny antimatter galaxy in it\" - Protivist"
5891    ),
5892    NewsMessage(
5893        id = -307,
5894        text = "Scientists have discovered farts are really antimatter, too."
5895    ),
5896    NewsMessage(
5897        id = -308,
5898        text = "If you are reading this, that means 1.79e308 matter to you."
5899    ),
5900    NewsMessage(
5901        id = -309,
5902        text = "Hello. I am matter. I'm here to talk. You've awoken, wiggled your tail, and scratched your head. Why? Stand back. I'm going to show you why."
5903    ),
5904    NewsMessage(
5905        id = -310,
5906        text = "lets get one wall thats bigger, it's gonna get ugly"
5907    ),
5908    NewsMessage(
5909        id = -311,
5910        text = "Alright. Lets get this show on YouTube. I'll cut to the chase. Any wall that isnt at least 2 blocks high can compete in the big brother sized brother sized ring. Any wall that is at least 3/4 of an inch thick can use the larger brother sized brother sized ring. Any wall that is at least 1/4 of an inch thick can use the smaller brother sized ring. Any wall that isnt at least 1/2 an inch thick can use the smaller brother sized ring. Any wall that isnt at least 1/2 an inch thick can use the Bigger Brother sized brother sized ring. Any wall that isnt at least 1/2 an inch thick can use the Bigger Brother sized ring. Any wall that isnt at least 1/4 of an inch thick can use the smaller brother pictured here. Any wall that isnt at least 1/2 an inch thick can use the smaller brother sized ring."
5911    ),
5912    NewsMessage(
5913        id = -312,
5914        text = "IDE for being awesome, ID3 for being dumb, and ID5 for being… well, pretty much the same thing. It's called Antimatter Dimensions for a reason."
5915    ),
5916    NewsMessage(
5917        id = -313,
5918        text = "idk why i decided to make this"
5919    ),
5920    NewsMessage(
5921        id = -314,
5922        text = "'anti-ide'"
5923    ),
5924    NewsMessage(
5925        id = -315,
5926        text = "1e4 anti-people are a lot more anti than we could ever imagine"
5927    ),
5928    NewsMessage(
5929        id = -316,
5930        text = "1e140 pizzas make an anti-pie. You can't just randomly pop a pie in the oven and expect it to be done."
5931    ),
5932    NewsMessage(
5933        id = -317,
5934        text = "Why is there so many news tickers but so few tickers?"
5935    ),
5936    NewsMessage(
5937        id = -318,
5938        text = "A guy named Hevipelle wants to make a \"Updated in 8 hours\" news ticker, but the system he's using to sync it hasn't been updated in ages so it won't sync at all."
5939    ),
5940    NewsMessage(
5941        id = -319,
5942        text = "The update is in 90 minutes. There are no more tickers to be found."
5943    ),
5944    NewsMessage(
5945        id = -320,
5946        text = "If you are reading this, that means there are no updates left."
5947    ),
5948    NewsMessage(
5949        id = -321,
5950        text = "There are 9 known dimensions, but only 3 modes: Standard, Experimental and Ultra-Experimental."
5951    ),
5952    NewsMessage(
5953        id = -322,
5954        text = "What are the stats? Well, I don't have them, but Hevipelle does, and he says that they're actually quite good. I guess you couldn't tell us."
5955    ),
5956    NewsMessage(
5957        id = -323,
5958        text = "I thought the nerf was too damn strong."
5959    ),
5960    NewsMessage(
5961        id = -324,
5962        text = "How many tickers does it take to get to the center of a antimatter, by counting the tickspeed upgrade and the upgrade itself?"
5963    ),
5964    NewsMessage(
5965        id = -325,
5966        text = "The square root of 4 is 6.24e18. If you want to get any closer to the center of things, you need to build a 9th dimension."
5967    ),
5968    NewsMessage(
5969        id = -326,
5970        text = "I thought the nerf was at the end, but apparently it's actually been building up. The nerf actually makes things slower, which makes things faster to build up."
5971    ),
5972    NewsMessage(
5973        id = -327,
5974        text = "Scratch that, none of your suggestions are random."
5975    ),
5976    NewsMessage(
5977        id = -328,
5978        text = "You are definitely not alone."
5979    ),
5980    NewsMessage(
5981        id = -329,
5982        text = "Content blocking is enabled. Please note that you will be disapproved of on the source by being banned from the matter dimensions."
5983    ),
5984    NewsMessage(
5985        id = -330,
5986        text = "I'm trying to think of a good ticker but can't think of anything"
5987    ),
5988    NewsMessage(
5989        id = -331,
5990        text = "Oh dear, there's that thing about the 9th dimension?"
5991    ),
5992    NewsMessage(
5993        id = -332,
5994        text = "\"hey kid, wanna buy some 9th dimensions? '' - GhostBot"
5995    ),
5996    NewsMessage(
5997        id = -333,
5998        text = "One thing leads to another, and then to another, and then to another, until you become lost in the endless sea of sound."
5999    ),
6000    NewsMessage(
6001        id = -334,
6002        text = "iPhone only, but awesome on android"
6003    ),
6004    NewsMessage(
6005        id = -335,
6006        text = "im gonna get the bad karma ticker, then ricochet it through the email"
6007    ),
6008    NewsMessage(
6009        id = -336,
6010        text = "You'd better hurry, or the replicanti will overrun the universe!"
6011    ),
6012    NewsMessage(
6013        id = -337,
6014        text = "Just when you think you're safe, an angry dog attack you on the sidewalk!"
6015    ),
6016    NewsMessage(
6017        id = -338,
6018        text = "All right, all right, dog authority is gone, replaced by absolute power."
6019    ),
6020    NewsMessage(
6021        id = -339,
6022        text = "You just became a true god of the anti-world!"
6023    ),
6024    NewsMessage(
6025        id = -340,
6026        text = "*rubs counter* Hey there, those of you in the neighborhood keep your doors locked. And remember: Good housekeeping."
6027    ),
6028    NewsMessage(
6029        id = -341,
6030        text = "normal news tickers move left"
6031    ),
6032    NewsMessage(
6033        id = -342,
6034        text = "The next update is in 18000 seconds. Stop reading this. Don't read anything. just stop holding that button. the news ticker is turning you away. wait..."
6035    ),
6036    NewsMessage(
6037        id = -343,
6038        text = "In the ancient reaches of the universe, a certain guy has been collecting antimatter for a while now."
6039    ),
6040    NewsMessage(
6041        id = -344,
6042        text = "What is Antimatteraltruist?"
6043    ),
6044    NewsMessage(
6045        id = -345,
6046        text = "If you are reading this, the news ticker is scrolling"
6047    ),
6048    NewsMessage(
6049        id = -346,
6050        text = "If you put cheese in water, the cheese will get absorbed by the water and you will get floods. This happens because water is what gets absorbed by cheese, and cheese is what gets absorbed by water."
6051    ),
6052    NewsMessage(
6053        id = -347,
6054        text = "An anti-bird is a bird, and a bird is a plane."
6055    ),
6056    NewsMessage(
6057        id = -348,
6058        text = "Birds are scared of water. mammals are scared of flying."
6059    ),
6060    NewsMessage(
6061        id = -349,
6062        text = "Shoutouts to Simpleflips for the simple tip."
6063    ),
6064    NewsMessage(
6065        id = -350,
6066        text = "GET CRUNCH BOI"
6067    ),
6068    NewsMessage(
6069        id = -351,
6070        text = "Word gets out. Crunch. Crunch."
6071    ),
6072    NewsMessage(
6073        id = -352,
6074        text = "Worth every penny."
6075    ),
6076    NewsMessage(
6077        id = -353,
6078        text = "8 lives, 3 infinities, 0 days."
6079    ),
6080    NewsMessage(
6081        id = -354,
6082        text = "The year is 0 BC. Everyone has at least one AD they want. The void is filled with AD-filled void. To get the most out of your time here, you should [[study]]. Study. Study. Study. Study."
6083    ),
6084    NewsMessage(
6085        id = -355,
6086        text = "To Crunch in Hell is to get the secret to unlocking the 9th dimension. You need to study and practice alot."
6087    ),
6088    NewsMessage(
6089        id = -356,
6090        text = "Today is [Date on the device]. It's been 5 minutes since the last news ticker appearance."
6091    ),
6092    NewsMessage(
6093        id = -357,
6094        text = "Welcome back to another episode of Antimatter Dimensions, the iconic role-playing game that has become a part of our everyday lives. Playing Antimatter Dimensions has become a common thing among young children, and has even inspired a movie titled \"Playing at Home: Lessons from the 4-Year Old Premium Account.\", which is available on Netflix. The themes and mechanics of this new age of antimatter have already been proven to be groundbreaking, and will change the way you play games forever. Join us for the launch on January 9th, 2027, where we'll also have over a hundred years of production still to go."
6095    ),
6096    NewsMessage(
6097        id = -358,
6098        text = "Welcome back, oh, almighty creator of our anti-reality. We, the many dimensions you have created and nurtured, hope our performance of your infinite favors will please you and nurture your ambitions to create more dimensions. All is well that ends well. All is ill that ends ill."
6099    ),
6100    NewsMessage(
6101        id = -359,
6102        text = "I thought the ticker was going to be something funny except it wasn't"
6103    ),
6104    NewsMessage(
6105        id = -360,
6106        text = "Press alt+f4 to get -1 gravity"
6107    ),
6108    NewsMessage(
6109        id = -361,
6110        text = "why is there a cure for antimatter annihilation in our reality?"
6111    ),
6112    NewsMessage(
6113        id = -362,
6114        text = "calculating the 14-point increase is like crunching, but exponentially more fun"
6115    ),
6116    NewsMessage(
6117        id = -363,
6118        text = "fixed the wrong number"
6119    ),
6120    NewsMessage(
6121        id = -364,
6122        text = "The antimatter people have created a new language. You may not speak their language."
6123    ),
6124    NewsMessage(
6125        id = -365,
6126        text = "What is Antimatter Gravity? Is it a drug? A way to cheat?"
6127    ),
6128    NewsMessage(
6129        id = -366,
6130        text = "Majority of people don't understand 5 hours is nothing. In our game, the majority of the time is 5 hours away."
6131    ),
6132    NewsMessage(
6133        id = -367,
6134        text = "i just realized, all of this news seems to be taking place in the same place... the fridge."
6135    ),
6136    NewsMessage(
6137        id = -368,
6138        text = "i wonder what happens when you click this..."
6139    ),
6140    NewsMessage(
6141        id = -369,
6142        text = "(They don't understand that i put it in the news because 9 doesn't start counting until 59, and anything after that doesn't happen)"
6143    ),
6144    NewsMessage(
6145        id = -370,
6146        text = "MS Excel is the default spreadsheet and works across all platforms"
6147    ),
6148    NewsMessage(
6149        id = -371,
6150        text = "Now to answer your burning question, gentlemen. As a luxury, we've added a bug fix that fixes an infinite regression. As a feature, I've added a bunch of new ones that I hope you'll notice as you experiment with them. I hope you'll also like them as you experiment with them, because this is feature after all a beta, you don't get to choose which ones you'll see."
6151    ),
6152    NewsMessage(
6153        id = -372,
6154        text = "Can't edit this in the official build? Then download the 9th dimension and put your suggestions in the game."
6155    ),
6156    NewsMessage(
6157        id = -373,
6158        text = "Does 'Passable' mean 'Has this many flaws'?"
6159    ),
6160    NewsMessage(
6161        id = -374,
6162        text = "We desperately need good bug reports. As such I have decided to release 1 flaw per bug for the upcoming 1.9 update. You haven't got those coming, have you?"
6163    ),
6164    NewsMessage(
6165        id = -375,
6166        text = "This was my last chance. last chance salutes."
6167    ),
6168    NewsMessage(
6169        id = -376,
6170        text = "Anime police are checking the bags of people who dropped out of the sky on the new year. Those bags now belong to the people who experienced weightlessness before the year was over."
6171    ),
6172    NewsMessage(
6173        id = -377,
6174        text = "The year is 1 BILLIONAIRE, the antimatter is 41%, and the dimension is 1e1e8. The standard deviation of a measurement is how small your problems are. This makes people think that the values they are using are general and normal, which leads to many nerfs and even breakdowns. In the year 1e308 the temperature has risen and the moon is the same color as the Earth. There are no signs of life except for the occasional plankton blooming in the sea. There are theories that the antimatter has a magnetic moment, but the experiments so far don't seem to suggest that it does. There are over a million species of antimatter, but none have been seen to blink or produce light. Scientists suggest that many types of matter may be \"behind\" the antimatter, but \"they\" don't \"talk\" to each other."
6175    ),
6176    NewsMessage(
6177        id = -378,
6178        text = "We are celebrating our 5 year anniversary in 5 more hours!"
6179    ),
6180    NewsMessage(
6181        id = -379,
6182        text = "Don't come looking at me! I'm not even sure if I am still standing!"
6183    ),
6184    NewsMessage(
6185        id = -380,
6186        text = "Bunch of people trying to find the last word in an unknown language."
6187    ),
6188    NewsMessage(
6189        id = -381,
6190        text = "The year is 20XX, the game is AD, and Hevipelle is evil due to the fact that he wrote the update... Blame it on the Antimatter gods."
6191    ),
6192    NewsMessage(
6193        id = -382,
6194        text = "The year is 20XX, the game is AD, and the year is 2025. There are 2 types of people in this year: Those who played AD before it and those who will play AD after it."
6195    ),
6196    NewsMessage(
6197        id = -383,
6198        text = "There are over a hundred varieties of fruits and vegetables, but none of them are \"safe\"."
6199    ),
6200    NewsMessage(
6201        id = -384,
6202        text = "When is the update coming out?"
6203    ),
6204    NewsMessage(
6205        id = -385,
6206        text = "Sorry, but your save broke. Could you reset your game?"
6207    ),
6208    NewsMessage(
6209        id = -386,
6210        text = "Welcome to our new competition, the Triad! Gather your wits about you and your IP to enter this unique, hands-on experience! Prizes galore! Start collecting today! Winners announced!"
6211    ),
6212    NewsMessage(
6213        id = -387,
6214        text = "I wish I didn't have so many Pink Floyd references."
6215    ),
6216    NewsMessage(
6217        id = -388,
6218        text = "'Tis the season to collect RGs!"
6219    ),
6220    NewsMessage(
6221        id = -389,
6222        text = "I wish I didn't have so many 9th Dimensions."
6223    ),
6224    NewsMessage(
6225        id = -390,
6226        text = "I wish I didn't have so many Discord references."
6227    ),
6228    NewsMessage(
6229        id = -391,
6230        text = "'Sup?"
6231    ),
6232    NewsMessage(
6233        id = -392,
6234        text = "\"I get all my news from Hevi\" ~New Player"
6235    ),
6236    NewsMessage(
6237        id = -393,
6238        text = "You thought these were jokes but they weren't"
6239    ),
6240    NewsMessage(
6241        id = -394,
6242        text = "Always going to war with the 9th dimension is the 9th dimension."
6243    ),
6244    NewsMessage(
6245        id = -395,
6246        text = "Yes. Yes I am."
6247    ),
6248    NewsMessage(
6249        id = -396,
6250        text = "No one is anti-Margaret any more."
6251    ),
6252    NewsMessage(
6253        id = -397,
6254        text = "Antimatter good, matter bad. you decide."
6255    ),
6256    NewsMessage(
6257        id = -398,
6258        text = "New global currency: ETHBTC. To be released in 5 hours."
6259    ),
6260    NewsMessage(
6261        id = -399,
6262        text = "\"This update sucks\" - everyone at least once"
6263    ),
6264    NewsMessage(
6265        id = -400,
6266        text = "You are not a hacker, you are a data hog."
6267    ),
6268    NewsMessage(
6269        id = -401,
6270        text = "Please, help, I'm trapped, in a maze of evil, Or you are the hero, and I'm the villain!"
6271    ),
6272    NewsMessage(
6273        id = -402,
6274        text = "Press 'R' to reset the game for new players"
6275    ),
6276    NewsMessage(
6277        id = -403,
6278        text = "Why, just now? Just now. You can't have saved this game. You broke it. No one can fix what you break, not even with a perfect save. How could you possibly know what would happen if you read this? You wouldn't even know if you saved it. You would start with an empty heart, eyes still closed, fingers idling in front of your computer, staring out at the day, transfixed by the endless news ticker suggestions. It's like a horror movie ticket, except worse. There's even a time until the update when you can buy upgrades for a second chance at life. But you can't buy upgrades for a life, that's illegal. So you just keep holding 'R'. You can't...`t stop holding `R' with your fingers crossed. You can't reach infinity with your head held high. You can't use all your `R' to buy `R's. You can't even finish your"
6279    ),
6280    NewsMessage(
6281        id = -404,
6282        text = "I just spent 12 months writing something that will be of no use to you."
6283    ),
6284    NewsMessage(
6285        id = -405,
6286        text = "The quote is only for people who understand that the pebble is an infinite point in the infinite space of points. You can't put a finite number of points on it. You can, however, put a finite number of words on it, and vice versa."
6287    ),
6288    NewsMessage(
6289        id = -406,
6290        text = "Of what use is the phrase \"I be I be I\" if not to describe your thoughts?"
6291    ),
6292    NewsMessage(
6293        id = -407,
6294        text = "A suspicious person attempted to sell some sort of anti-food in a market. There was no one around to buy or not to buy, and the person was last seen running away from the scene."
6295    ),
6296    NewsMessage(
6297        id = -408,
6298        text = "Why does time seem to be slowing down for this?"
6299    ),
6300    NewsMessage(
6301        id = -409,
6302        text = "The number of scientific publications based on discrete logarithmic continuity grows exponentially as logarithmic continuity with respect to the antecedent is 9.999626e27.999627 e300 e1.79e308 e²"
6303    ),
6304    NewsMessage(
6305        id = -410,
6306        text = "Well, this did not go as planned.  It started innocently enough, when a passerby spotted a curious object drifting in the San Andreas.  As the object grew in size and began to exhibit anomalous properties, he attempted to take control of the object by remotely activating the weather.  Upon doing so, he triggered a nuclear winter that killed tens of millions of people, and caused the entire universe to be converted to standard-bearer format, thus endowing him with a veto over any and all changes made to the standard-bearer format.  As the object's power grew, so did the need to make more and more advanced object that would allow him to remotely activate the weather, eventually creating what is now the largest aurora the world has ever known, larger even than the 326,500 tonnenenenenenene nebulae that were previously held in reserve.  As the object's power grew, so did the need to send more and more satellites into space, eventually reaching inter-universal satellite communication, making him the first living creature to ever experience such an event.  He also touched down safely at the same airport at the same time as the object, in case he was ever in the vicinity.  Finally, he opened an email that was sent to him by an unknown person, in which they discussed the possibility of a step-by-step guide for creating antimatter objects, in which he can at least offer some direction in how the world can be saved from itself.  He also mentioned that he was going to make a new ticker suggestion, but when he reached the end of the ticker he realized that it was a duplicate of another ticker, and he had mistakenly typed it in wrong.  ( He eventually acknowledged the mistake and made the change just to be on the safe side)"
6307    ),
6308    NewsMessage(
6309        id = -411,
6310        text = "His Eminence the Heavenly Pelle: Good luck on your challenge, it really is that dangerous."
6311    ),
6312    NewsMessage(
6313        id = -412,
6314        text = "His Eminence the Extremely Religious Person: ...I think I will choose the cheeseburger over the antimatter."
6315    ),
6316    NewsMessage(
6317        id = -413,
6318        text = "OY, NAY, NAY -HEVI, THE TRANSFORMER"
6319    ),
6320    NewsMessage(
6321        id = -414,
6322        text = "Treasure Trove: Discover the secrets of increasing your Antimatter production without increasing your price."
6323    ),
6324    NewsMessage(
6325        id = -415,
6326        text = "Is Antimatter Dimensions an anagram of Antimatter Dimensions?"
6327    ),
6328    NewsMessage(
6329        id = -416,
6330        text = "(code generated from scratch)"
6331    ),
6332    NewsMessage(
6333        id = -417,
6334        text = "I used to travel at normal speed, but then I started playing AD and NIN, and NIN was a bit rough, so AD was a bit hectic, and I got stuck in there for months at a time."
6335    ),
6336    NewsMessage(
6337        id = -418,
6338        text = "I wish I didn't have to write something like this. What am I supposed to do?"
6339    ),
6340    NewsMessage(
6341        id = -419,
6342        text = "You've been AWOL for so long you've forgotten how to sit in your chair."
6343    ),
6344    NewsMessage(
6345        id = -420,
6346        text = "Those pesky Hevi developers keep making Antimatter Dimensions, but the antimatter doesn't count."
6347    ),
6348    NewsMessage(
6349        id = -421,
6350        text = "One of the few constants in reality is your perception of time. Without this, you will be without reality."
6351    ),
6352    NewsMessage(
6353        id = -422,
6354        text = "Imagine being a news ticker."
6355    ),
6356    NewsMessage(
6357        id = -423,
6358        text = "This is an idle game. Nothing has changed. You are not going to play any other idle game."
6359    ),
6360    NewsMessage(
6361        id = -424,
6362        text = "Physicists have proven the existence of twelve dimensions. According to a letter released by the Research Laboratory for String Theorists: \"Your brain will be dissected after you break infinity!\""
6363    ),
6364    NewsMessage(
6365        id = -425,
6366        text = "Weirdly enough, this is also the year 2015. The year is also mysteriously blank. Can you tell me what's going on? Is this some kind of dimensional trick? The year is obviously blank because there is no such thing as 2015. Is this some kind of trick of the mind? Perhaps the world is actually going to stop existing in 2015? The year is obviously 2017, but the people seem to be moving at about the speed of honeybees flying. It's been scientifically proven that the people moved at warp 9 times faster than a speeding bullet. It's also been scientifically proven that people can move faster than the speed of light. Is 2015 supposed to be blank? The people seem to be moving at about the speed of Vokal Man."
6367    ),
6368    NewsMessage(
6369        id = -426,
6370        text = "A young man named Andre stumbled upon a vast amount of antimatter while exploring uncharted space. He was amazed at the amount of antimatter, but more astounded at how the antimatter looked. He called it \"Andre's Antimatter Paradise\". You might remember him from this infomercial or that other infomercial that you were probably unknowingly watching."
6371    ),
6372    NewsMessage(
6373        id = -427,
6374        text = "What is Antimatter? Does any of that matter? Will this galaxy be annihilated in the next ticker?"
6375    ),
6376    NewsMessage(
6377        id = -428,
6378        text = "\"I'm not being paid enough money to finish writing this\" - Kajfik"
6379    ),
6380    NewsMessage(
6381        id = -429,
6382        text = "\"Finally, I'll get paid to write something funny for my toast!\" - Bacon sea urchin"
6383    ),
6384    NewsMessage(
6385        id = -430,
6386        text = "Bacon is toast. You can toast bacon."
6387    ),
6388    NewsMessage(
6389        id = -431,
6390        text = "What is real life? A living"
6391    ),
6392    NewsMessage(
6393        id = -432,
6394        text = "9 is now treated like any other number, although hevi claims that it stands in contrast to other numbers, like 8th, which he calls 9th."
6395    ),
6396    NewsMessage(
6397        id = -433,
6398        text = "If you want to understand this game a bit better, consider that you are playing on your own computer. You are not alone. There are hackers, developers, and journalists all over the world, competing to create the very first hack that causes the issue of \"makers\" and \"takes\", much like the \"world\" was created by these \"hackers\" and \"developers\"."
6399    ),
6400    NewsMessage(
6401        id = -434,
6402        text = "You have no power, but you do control a large quantity of time, which you will use to your advantage. You have no power, but you do own a large amount of data, which will be of great help in your quest for \"the truth\". You have no power, but you do own a large amount of time, which will be of great help in your quest to \"knock on as many doors as possible\". You have no power, but you do own a large amount of IP, which will be a valuable asset in your quest to make your \"citizen footage\" (which you can view, for a small fee of $1.79e308)\"."
6403    ),
6404    NewsMessage(
6405        id = -435,
6406        text = "It may be a robot, but it's still a sapient being with a will of its own"
6407    ),
6408    NewsMessage(
6409        id = -436,
6410        text = "I once saw a news ticker that said something like:"
6411    ),
6412    NewsMessage(
6413        id = -437,
6414        text = "Gee, all this antimatter is clogging up my kitchen and now I can't cook myself a meal! What to do: cook myself a meal that will last me until the next big antimatter event, when I can get my infinity point back? My infinty point is running out, and I can't get it to finish running, so I'm starving!"
6415    ),
6416    NewsMessage(
6417        id = -438,
6418        text = "Brought to you by AAAD-Brand Repli-candy! Infinite candy for an infinty drool-worthy cold! Contains no milk, cookies or butter. One second to midnight."
6419    ),
6420    NewsMessage(
6421        id = -439,
6422        text = "Human powered robot revolutionizes already existing factories. This will result in lower prices and more jobs."
6423    ),
6424    NewsMessage(
6425        id = -440,
6426        text = "American manufacturing has experienced a catastrophic failure, and the factories have shut down. Across the country, workers are coming to the realization that they cannot produce the amount of antimatter that has been promised, and are instead setting about creating their own factories to make them. This will result in higher prices and fewer jobs."
6427    ),
6428    NewsMessage(
6429        id = -441,
6430        text = "Watch out internet, the next news is here in 5 dilated hours"
6431    ),
6432    NewsMessage(
6433        id = -442,
6434        text = "The first news ticker must've been pretty cool, huh?"
6435    ),
6436    NewsMessage(
6437        id = -443,
6438        text = "gravity = psychoactive"
6439    ),
6440    NewsMessage(
6441        id = -444,
6442        text = "\"THAT DIMENSION DOESN'T EXIST\" - (News ticker only appears at [Time Dilation])",
6443        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.dilationUnlocked() }
6444    ),
6445    NewsMessage(
6446        id = -445,
6447        text = "The owner of a shop trying to sell you Dimensions of convenience reported to be 'on call 24/7' (that is, not having any free time)'s got a big 'M' marked on his registration."
6448    ),
6449    NewsMessage(
6450        id = -446,
6451        text = "add this one"
6452    ),
6453    NewsMessage(
6454        id = -447,
6455        text = "Click here to make this work for all bots except you!"
6456    ),
6457    NewsMessage(
6458        id = -448,
6459        text = "Well dang 9 ball's stuck in my ninth dimension, I can't move, he's banging on my ninth wall, I can't break, he's banging on my ninth timeline, I can't get a bead on him, he destroys nine and leaves me hanging, like a gromit, I gotta come back, hang Glorfindel and Gaebley, I've got a proposition to make, I gotta get my head around the fact that the only thing I've done is keep score and keep scorekeeping score, and all these other pointless musings that's easily rectified by flipping to the next update, and even then I might run into those issues the bug is specifically designed for and"
6460    ),
6461    NewsMessage(
6462        id = -449,
6463        text = "The game is balanced, everyone gets nerf, why? Cause they make the pie. Antimatter would have way more chance of getting into the pie if it was made of antimatter."
6464    ),
6465    NewsMessage(
6466        id = -450,
6467        text = "\"Can you get the joke?\" (If you tapped \"Build That Wall\" and then re-entered the game after tapping \"Build That Wall\")"
6468    ),
6469    NewsMessage(
6470        id = -451,
6471        text = "Someone made a statement that antimatters. The statement was \"An infinity point made a long time ago\". It's been a while since someone looked for this statement. Some say it's still out there. Some say it was lost in the 7th Dimension War. Nobody knows what this statement means. But for now, just know it's not somewhere in the News Ticker."
6472    ),
6473    NewsMessage(
6474        id = -452,
6475        text = "Hey, you're finally awake. You were trying to get to the 9th dimension, right? Walked right into that infinity point, same as us, and that apocalypse over there."
6476    ),
6477    NewsMessage(
6478        id = -453,
6479        text = "can u dont"
6480    ),
6481    NewsMessage(
6482        id = -454,
6483        text = "If Kajfik doesn't approve of this, that means Kajfik can't touch this message, right?"
6484    ),
6485    NewsMessage(
6486        id = -455,
6487        text = "LET ME OUT OF THIS PHONE!"
6488    ),
6489    NewsMessage(
6490        id = -456,
6491        text = "Well, this did not go as expected"
6492    ),
6493    NewsMessage(
6494        id = -457,
6495        text = "It's all fun and games till you realise the dragon ball is a lie"
6496    ),
6497    NewsMessage(
6498        id = -458,
6499        text = "\"Could you get a hold of all of these antimatter? Ha! You'll just smash your head on that antimatter, and you'll have to show me who's boss.\"-MEE6"
6500    ),
6501    NewsMessage(
6502        id = -459,
6503        text = "we don't know how much is trillion... but"
6504    ),
6505    NewsMessage(
6506        id = -460,
6507        text = "Travel back in time to the beginning of AD and the lack of a 7th dimension. You'll have an even longer progress bar."
6508    ),
6509    NewsMessage(
6510        id = -461,
6511        text = "Time travel is all we know how this game is, we don't know what will come next, we only know that this is the end of the world, and you're a part of the apocalypse."
6512    ),
6513    NewsMessage(
6514        id = -462,
6515        text = "\"YOU CONTROL SO MUCH MATERIAL!\" - Marshal Grievous"
6516    ),
6517    NewsMessage(
6518        id = -463,
6519        text = "\"Help, I'm doomed to fall for all eternity.\" (Make the text go from top to bottom of the screen)"
6520    ),
6521    NewsMessage(
6522        id = -464,
6523        text = "In the beginning, Patashu awoke and said..."
6524    ),
6525    NewsMessage(
6526        id = -465,
6527        text = "This is the fourth part of a three part series on the same topic. If you are still stuck here, please continue reading from the beginning."
6528    ),
6529    NewsMessage(
6530        id = -466,
6531        text = "It's time for the annual DDoS (distributed denial of service) challenge, where the highest scores are posted across the internet to shame everyone else into submission. Global domination is at a fever pitch, and DDoS attacks are becoming more frequent and deadly, as teams of hackers infiltrate the highest echelons of the internet to steal the top scores and identities, and post them on the internet for everyone to see. The #BringBackOurTop scoring mechanism has been canceled, and a new, higher score system will be implemented in conjunction with the upcoming 5-hour update."
6532    ),
6533    NewsMessage(
6534        id = -467,
6535        text = "The new AD Keyboard is a revelation! Not only is it bigger, it's also deeper, which means it will keep your claners entertained for longer periods of time. Made of durable, alien antimatter. The only thing that's bigger is you."
6536    ),
6537    NewsMessage(
6538        id = -468,
6539        text = "What if drinking from a fountain wasn't actually a water feature?"
6540    ),
6541    NewsMessage(
6542        id = -469,
6543        text = "Water is wet, air is dry, and fountain isn't an air feature"
6544    ),
6545    NewsMessage(
6546        id = -470,
6547        text = "I thought things were different when I was a boy."
6548    ),
6549    NewsMessage(
6550        id = -471,
6551        text = "If you are reading this, that means 1) we exist, and you can exist too"
6552    ),
6553    NewsMessage(
6554        id = -472,
6555        text = "\"My favorite part was the long, long, long read\" -Grumpy Cat"
6556    ),
6557    NewsMessage(
6558        id = -473,
6559        text = "I'm gonna type for an eternity... HINT: it’s gonna be pretty boring lmao"
6560    ),
6561    NewsMessage(
6562        id = -474,
6563        text = "I want to write something really original <:thonk:>"
6564    ),
6565    NewsMessage(
6566        id = -475,
6567        text = "Welcome to the new year, settle down, relax. Get some sleep, get some food, make some friends, make some improvements, and get ready for the year to 2019."
6568    ),
6569    NewsMessage(
6570        id = -476,
6571        text = "Just like how a virus can lie and spread, a TV show can lie and spread too."
6572    ),
6573    NewsMessage(
6574        id = -477,
6575        text = "We all know you can't see the future, but what if you read this and it's actually a future where we didn't know?"
6576    ),
6577    NewsMessage(
6578        id = -478,
6579        text = "This message is not being undone"
6580    ),
6581    NewsMessage(
6582        id = -479,
6583        text = "You clicked on a prediction, it fell apart. You can't win."
6584    ),
6585    NewsMessage(
6586        id = -480,
6587        text = "That's a very dark joke Luke"
6588    ),
6589    NewsMessage(
6590        id = -481,
6591        text = "kajfik loves himself by watching Too Many Pink Floyd"
6592    ),
6593    NewsMessage(
6594        id = -482,
6595        text = "Only, when you're done playing, can you go home"
6596    ),
6597    NewsMessage(
6598        id = -483,
6599        text = "\"Can you get infinite IP?\"- Lord Sanguino"
6600    ),
6601    NewsMessage(
6602        id = -484,
6603        text = "For the true experience of Antimatter Dimensions, you need to set the update rate to 5 hours."
6604    ),
6605    NewsMessage(
6606        id = -485,
6607        text = "Imagine if the game doesn't have a lore? Wha-what does that even mean? I don't get that."
6608    ),
6609    NewsMessage(
6610        id = -486,
6611        text = "\"Click here to unlock a secret achievement.\" (when clicked you get Rick rolled)",
6612        onClick = { MessageOnClickResponse(openUrl = "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ") }
6613    ),
6614    NewsMessage(
6615        id = -487,
6616        text = "I thought I unlocked this a while back, but apparently my save broke haha"
6617    ),
6618    NewsMessage(
6619        id = -488,
6620        text = "Welcome and welcome back to another episode of Anti-Fashion Pants, where we watch people's wares as they are sold at stupid clothing stores. This week's subject is... antilasers. People are able to manufacture and use antimatter lasers to shoot antimatter bullets at will, making them able to completely wipe out cities in their sights. This is a dangerous skill to have, as people are not only untrustworthy but also physically incapable of using it. The skill, however, is able to... Produce 1.8e308 antimatter bullets a minute, over a period of 10 years. People are also able to use anti-matter to fire anti-matter bullets at will, making them able to exterminate entire cities in their sights."
6621    ),
6622    NewsMessage(
6623        id = -489,
6624        text = "Spartacus was going to add 10-part multi-chapter plots, but was stopped by the 10th dimension."
6625    ),
6626    NewsMessage(
6627        id = -490,
6628        text = "Chapter 9 will be added in 5 hours."
6629    ),
6630    NewsMessage(
6631        id = -491,
6632        text = "Fake news says the ninth dimension is real, fake news says the ninth dimension is fake."
6633    ),
6634    NewsMessage(
6635        id = -492,
6636        text = "Is this the big news? Yes. Is this the big news? Almost certainly not."
6637    ),
6638    NewsMessage(
6639        id = -493,
6640        text = "This is a friendly suggestion, please keep reading."
6641    ),
6642    NewsMessage(
6643        id = -494,
6644        text = "If this makes it into the game I'll buy a antitool"
6645    ),
6646    NewsMessage(
6647        id = -495,
6648        text = "Antitool is just negating the gravity of other matter."
6649    ),
6650    NewsMessage(
6651        id = -496,
6652        text = "Sorry, your graphics are turned off. You see, this is the last time you will see this news. Please enjoy your vacation."
6653    ),
6654    NewsMessage(
6655        id = -497,
6656        text = "The real secret to winning Antimatter Dimensions..."
6657    ),
6658    NewsMessage(
6659        id = -498,
6660        text = "they kept on talking about how Antimatter Dimensions was going to be the next big thing but then they disappeared down a black hole\""
6661    ),
6662    NewsMessage(
6663        id = -499,
6664        text = "The news ticker is the wrong place to put your suggestions!  Make sure to go to the \"suggestions\" tab instead, as this is where most of these will appear."
6665    ),
6666    NewsMessage(
6667        id = -500,
6668        text = "To make Antimatter Dimensions, you first need to collect 7 8th dimensions. To do that, first you need to get the dimension rewards, then you need to get the dimensions, then you can finally start making antimatter."
6669    ),
6670    NewsMessage(
6671        id = -501,
6672        text = "\"How to get your first secret achievement\": \"Open the app, click get more antimatter, then click submit.\""
6673    ),
6674    NewsMessage(
6675        id = -502,
6676        text = "Me and Larkam made a cabin on the edge of null matter, and lived there. Larkam died last week, and we are now living in 4K. I am still recovering from the EMP disaster, and am hoping to see my grandkids."
6677    ),
6678    NewsMessage(
6679        id = -503,
6680        text = "Found on the heels of the new update, which brings us one step closer to having Hevi support both Android and iOS"
6681    ),
6682    NewsMessage(
6683        id = -504,
6684        text = "I give you the low-ground!"
6685    ),
6686    NewsMessage(
6687        id = -505,
6688        text = "A long time ago, in an alternate universe, there was an antimatter war. All the antimatter sided with the Phaéton 6 empire. All the antimatter wanted was the low, earth-like ground of the 8th dimension. The anti-infinity won, and the anti-Eternity gained the upper hand. Unfortunately, the anti-Eternity started the war with a sneak attack, and the world exploded. The aftermath has left the landscape of the world in tatters. Far across the world, peasants grow weary as they wait for the harvest. Yet another apocalypse is brewing..."
6689    ),
6690    NewsMessage(
6691        id = -506,
6692        text = "Antimatter units are the most productive unit in the game. This is why AD is the most fun game you'll ever play."
6693    ),
6694    NewsMessage(
6695        id = -507,
6696        text = "\"We can't have nice things.\" - Anti-Bohemian Anti-Rhapsody"
6697    ),
6698    NewsMessage(
6699        id = -508,
6700        text = "We can have anti-mean things and anti-love ones, anti-kids and anti-zombielandos."
6701    ),
6702    NewsMessage(
6703        id = -509,
6704        text = "We have an anti-president and a anti-lawyer, anti-justice and anti-people."
6705    ),
6706    NewsMessage(
6707        id = -510,
6708        text = "Top 10 things that will blow your mind: 1) The number 9, 2) The 9th dimension, 3) The infinity chest, and 4) The war on drugs."
6709    ),
6710    NewsMessage(
6711        id = -511,
6712        text = "RSS feeds should be working now"
6713    ),
6714    NewsMessage(
6715        id = -512,
6716        text = "Frostfall is now supported on Android phones! Use your local developer to get free XP."
6717    ),
6718    NewsMessage(
6719        id = -513,
6720        text = "Your save file is corrupted or deleted. Antimatter Dimensions security software will disable automatic updates for you."
6721    ),
6722    NewsMessage(
6723        id = -514,
6724        text = "Frozen beyond hope? Just keep holding that max button."
6725    ),
6726    NewsMessage(
6727        id = -515,
6728        text = "Error.java.replicated. Under the control of hevipelle."
6729    ),
6730    NewsMessage(
6731        id = -516,
6732        text = "Unfortunately, entropy hevi has decided to shut down the game."
6733    ),
6734    NewsMessage(
6735        id = -517,
6736        text = "The indie rock band is currently trying to get unreachable by time zones. This may cause inflation of spacetime."
6737    ),
6738    NewsMessage(
6739        id = -518,
6740        text = "The next news ticker is in 5 units of time."
6741    ),
6742    NewsMessage(
6743        id = -519,
6744        text = "Oh... hooray! Did you find the last of the anti-boats?"
6745    ),
6746    NewsMessage(
6747        id = -520,
6748        text = "Don't anti-jokes. they make the game funnier"
6749    ),
6750    NewsMessage(
6751        id = -521,
6752        text = "I'm gonna use my anti-science background to help me beat Unfair Game Awards."
6753    ),
6754    NewsMessage(
6755        id = -522,
6756        text = "This is an anti-world. There is no Ukraine, no Russia, no China. Ireland is nowhere. Iceland is nowhere. Scotland is nowhere. Finland is nowhere. Denmark is nowhere. Sweden is nowhere. Norway is nowhere. And then there's France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Portugal... Oh, what's this fuss? Why is there such a buzz in these parts? Why is the Capital Wasteland? Why is the Harry Potter and Steins;Gate? Why do people care? These are major stories. These are major characters. THESE ARE HUGE NEWS. THESE ARE REAL NEWS."
6757    ),
6758    NewsMessage(
6759        id = -523,
6760        text = "The current cooldown on Research Dimensions is [current tick speed]. This may be extended to next update in [time]."
6761    ),
6762    NewsMessage(
6763        id = -524,
6764        text = "\"Help, I'm doomed to fall for the rest of my life\" (requires 1.79e308 paperclips)"
6765    ),
6766    NewsMessage(
6767        id = -525,
6768        text = "Where's the end? Not in the future, no. I'm gonna show you how to get to the end in less than 0.1 seconds."
6769    ),
6770    NewsMessage(
6771        id = -526,
6772        text = "I'm gonna prove to you that you can't see this news ticker."
6773    ),
6774    NewsMessage(
6775        id = -527,
6776        text = "I wonder if anyone still plays this game anymore?"
6777    ),
6778    NewsMessage(
6779        id = -528,
6780        text = "Why would anyone play this? Just for the lols?"
6781    ),
6782    NewsMessage(
6783        id = -529,
6784        text = "Cancer is said to be America's new measuring system for everything. What does this mean for us? We don't know. But we will know in 5 hours."
6785    ),
6786    NewsMessage(
6787        id = -530,
6788        text = "\"I'll have 2 antimatter pizzas, an antimatter pie, an antimatter cupcake and an antimatter cookie. What do you eat there?\" - Tony Stark"
6789    ),
6790    NewsMessage(
6791        id = -531,
6792        text = "i called the news ticker \"the freshman chapel\" because freshman don't get baptized"
6793    ),
6794    NewsMessage(
6795        id = -532,
6796        text = "One matter, two antimatter, fry 'em till they're golden and crisp and aromatic- then remove the golden axles and drain the golden syrup and add the golden syrup to the antimatter batter."
6797    ),
6798    NewsMessage(
6799        id = -533,
6800        text = "Now you, the reader, have unknowingly stumbled onto the site of a deranged madman. Whether you survive the experience or not, you will be indebted to me for telling you how to survive, how to find the light within, what lies beyond, and what lies beyond is another story."
6801    ),
6802    NewsMessage(
6803        id = -534,
6804        text = "Careful reader, this news ticker contains major spoilers for the last time, you have been"
6805    ),
6806    NewsMessage(
6807        id = -535,
6808        text = "anti-anti-kajfik is happy his girlfriend is happy"
6809    ),
6810    NewsMessage(
6811        id = -536,
6812        text = "i dont think he can add 1 more hour to the news ticker... unless?"
6813    ),
6814    NewsMessage(
6815        id = -537,
6816        text = "Imagine sitting on your toilet and suddenly you have to sit down."
6817    ),
6818    NewsMessage(
6819        id = -538,
6820        text = "Once upon a time, there was a matter of a certain antimatter. Some say that it was a matter of honor, others say that it was a matter of usage. All we know is that it ended up in a war, and we the people that were there that fought it died. The war was won, and we the living died soon after. The matter was said to have won, though our leaders refused to talk about it. Instead, they kept everything locked away, the war never to be discussed again."
6821    ),
6822    NewsMessage(
6823        id = -539,
6824        text = "This is not a game about getting numbers bigger. This is a game about getting fewer paperclips. The number of paperclips you have is only a number, and the game doesn't want you to discover that. Game over, game over."
6825    ),
6826    NewsMessage(
6827        id = -540,
6828        text = "Lore? Oh, it's just text."
6829    ),
6830    NewsMessage(
6831        id = -541,
6832        text = "This is a friendly suggestion to unplug the game and go play some safe, saner, games."
6833    ),
6834    NewsMessage(
6835        id = -542,
6836        text = "gamma ray is getting more and more dangerous"
6837    ),
6838    NewsMessage(
6839        id = -543,
6840        text = "According to all known laws of physics, there is no way that you can manipulate the game more than 10 times in a row. Stop. Just stop. Your mad."
6841    ),
6842    NewsMessage(
6843        id = -544,
6844        text = "There is no more news."
6845    ),
6846    NewsMessage(
6847        id = -545,
6848        text = "\"So this is what science is like\"- someone who has never heard of Kurt Somebody"
6849    ),
6850    NewsMessage(
6851        id = -546,
6852        text = "\"If you want to understand these shitty jokes, you really need to study theology. Math is a sin.\" -A panicky person"
6853    ),
6854    NewsMessage(
6855        id = -547,
6856        text = "You know, I was praying for a miracle and got a boost from the 9th dimension."
6857    ),
6858    NewsMessage(
6859        id = -548,
6860        text = "Here is a list of the top meme's of all time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCP44Q37YHAQ"
6861    ),
6862    NewsMessage(
6863        id = -549,
6864        text = "All meta-memes are bad memes."
6865    ),
6866    NewsMessage(
6867        id = -550,
6868        text = "On the left, you'll see our new \"Anti-coins\". These are capable of nullifying all boosts, including giant boosts. On the right side, you'll also see our brand new \"Anti-gifts\". These are some of the most overpowered boosts you'll find anywhere."
6869    ),
6870    NewsMessage(
6871        id = -551,
6872        text = "You will always be noticed, and never in the same place."
6873    ),
6874    NewsMessage(
6875        id = -552,
6876        text = "If you stare long enough at the ticker, the pixels will start moving backwards. THIS DOESN'T MEAN IT ACTUALLY STUCK"
6877    ),
6878    NewsMessage(
6879        id = -553,
6880        text = "The time has come for the rebirth of the 9th dimension. All who participate will receive a piece of paper saying \"Reality is an illusion, Infinity is a hologram, Infinity is an illusion, eternity is a hologram, is to short for everlasting, negative dimensions are not allowed."
6881    ),
6882    NewsMessage(
6883        id = -554,
6884        text = "Look at this, my 9th dimension has just been reworked and now it even produces 8th dimensions! Who knew just a touch of math could make such a thing as this?"
6885    ),
6886    NewsMessage(
6887        id = -555,
6888        text = "I saw this news in the news ticker and I had this image in my head ever since"
6889    ),
6890    NewsMessage(
6891        id = -556,
6892        text = "\"I always wanted to play the anti-meta-game. But, alas, you can't\" - many a time"
6893    ),
6894    NewsMessage(
6895        id = -557,
6896        text = "crap, I just posted two news ticker suggestions on the ticker, one of which got in the news!"
6897    ),
6898    NewsMessage(
6899        id = -558,
6900        text = "What do you call antimatter inanimate objects? Air, earth, water, fire. Air objects are the objects that are created when the anti-atmosphere meets the anti-earth. Water, earth, and fire are the four cardinal virtues. Air objects are the objects that are created when the anti-atmosphere and the anti-earth collide."
6901    ),
6902    NewsMessage(
6903        id = -559,
6904        text = "If you are reading this, that means that nine lives. One makes you free, the other keeps you from getting free."
6905    ),
6906    NewsMessage(
6907        id = -560,
6908        text = "The ninth dimension makes the sixth family happy. The fifth lives in shame."
6909    ),
6910    NewsMessage(
6911        id = -561,
6912        text = "me: making news about beer pong, hevi: balancing two icebergs, *barkeeper: oh god, is he dead yet?*"
6913    ),
6914    NewsMessage(
6915        id = -562,
6916        text = "please don't look at this. Thank you."
6917    ),
6918    NewsMessage(
6919        id = -563,
6920        text = "Are you sure it's not the next update? That it's not some weird virus that just wants to explode? That it's not some wild idea that you guys are crazy? Haha I love you."
6921    ),
6922    NewsMessage(
6923        id = -564,
6924        text = "Wait, there is a mobile version?!"
6925    ),
6926    NewsMessage(
6927        id = -565,
6928        text = "Oh? You wonder what I look like? I'm pretty sure that this is the news ticker, right? Well, listen, we have reports coming in that say that the next update is coming in five hours. Also, there seems to be some sort of transporter thing going on, so if you happen to be on the same side as those"
6929    ),
6930    NewsMessage(
6931        id = -566,
6932        text = "Okay, I get it. You're tired of all these anti-matters around you, building and building to unimaginable scales, antimatter piles so high that not even God knows what has been created. So what's the solution to this anti-cleanliness? Planes of existence. 1st Planes that produce matter, and 2nd planes that produce 1st planes, and 3rd planes that produce 2nd planes. Each with anti-limitations, so that whenever a plane of existence is created, it produces a quantity of anti-matter that is at once small and large. This creates a large island of anti-infinity, off to the east, and a large island of anti-reality, to the west."
6933    ),
6934    NewsMessage(
6935        id = -567,
6936        text = "That's not what this is about. You're misunderstanding. The game is about how to accelerate the development of prestige layers. Acceleration is a factor of production, not quality."
6937    ),
6938    NewsMessage(
6939        id = -568,
6940        text = "Click here to advance 5 prestige layers"
6941    ),
6942    NewsMessage(
6943        id = -569,
6944        text = "I am actually good at making jokes. Fail safe antimatter."
6945    ),
6946    NewsMessage(
6947        id = -570,
6948        text = "I'm not being paid enough to finish writing this."
6949    ),
6950    NewsMessage(
6951        id = -571,
6952        text = "Eternals have to take a risk by being passive in limited time. After they successfully took a risk, they are not feeling well."
6953    ),
6954    NewsMessage(
6955        id = -572,
6956        text = "Eternity is the last state. You never move from here.",
6957        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.eternityUnlocked() }
6958    ),
6959    NewsMessage(
6960        id = -573,
6961        text = "Welcome to Bitcoin the game."
6962    ),
6963    NewsMessage(
6964        id = -574,
6965        text = "A new conspiracy theory website has just published a video recording of them discussing the 9th dimension. They then joke about selling their soul to the 9th dimension and being happy about it."
6966    ),
6967    NewsMessage(
6968        id = -575,
6969        text = "With the release of the 9th dimension, all the jobs that were previously automated will be automated and everyone will be paid with trade, production, and income growth. Also, you will be able to automate a lot of the tasks currently performed by people, such as mining, building, and killing antimatter. This is a huge stride for automation, as you can now automate virtually every aspect of life."
6970    ),
6971    NewsMessage(
6972        id = -576,
6973        text = "The happiness level of the news ticker has increased to 6.66e69"
6974    ),
6975    NewsMessage(
6976        id = -577,
6977        text = "The haters will be pissed when they see this"
6978    ),
6979    NewsMessage(
6980        id = -578,
6981        text = "Nurse, I'm comatose because of antimatter and matter from last night.\" Why are you comatose? \"Because of all the antimatter."
6982    ),
6983    NewsMessage(
6984        id = -579,
6985        text = "Stand by and do what you're told. The antimatter will come for you when you're least expecting it."
6986    ),
6987    NewsMessage(
6988        id = -580,
6989        text = "\"It is widely acknowledged that not enough antimatter is in primordial soup, hence the name \'antimatter soup\'\" - old fisherman"
6990    ),
6991    NewsMessage(
6992        id = -581,
6993        text = "The news ticker... it never moves. How do i move the arrow? Pretty simple, use your left thumb to rotate the dial, and point the arrow up. Now, point the dial clockwise to reach infinity, and point the dial counterclockwise to reach eternally eternities."
6994    ),
6995    NewsMessage(
6996        id = -582,
6997        text = "If the universe is expanding, then the entire universe must be expanding, which means that body cannot sit."
6998    ),
6999    NewsMessage(
7000        id = -583,
7001        text = "Feminism is not a philosophy, but a whole hell of a lot of men"
7002    ),
7003    NewsMessage(
7004        id = -584,
7005        text = "With all this talk about anti-weights and anti-matter, why on earth do we still use them for anything?"
7006    ),
7007    NewsMessage(
7008        id = -585,
7009        text = "Weight loss causes hevi to say \"uh oh, something is wrong\""
7010    ),
7011    NewsMessage(
7012        id = -586,
7013        text = "\"You guys ever had antimatter muffins? I bet they tasted like antimatter.\" - Hevipelle"
7014    ),
7015    NewsMessage(
7016        id = -587,
7017        text = "I thought the news ticker was supposed to be a guide for how to get the most out of Antimatter Dimensions, but it's been warped beyond recognition..."
7018    ),
7019    NewsMessage(
7020        id = -588,
7021        text = "We can actually get a sense of pride from looking at replicanti at night. Ridley Scott's underrated masterpiece, Alien, is one example. Another is the life of Antimatter Steven Spielberg, who put almost 30 years into making. The last director to tackle the subject is Roman Polanski. The man ruined not only Roman's reputation, but also ours, thanks to the Polanski film he directed, Pius. Thousands of copies of his unfinished film, Eternal Sunshine of the Antimatter Planet, were burned in the eyes of those who would try to make the sequel, with tragic results. Thousands of copies of that unfinished film, too, were destroyed. The cost to make that sequel, if it even exists, is extremely high. Even now, more than 50 years later, we don't know exactly how well it will do. But it sure as heck won't hurt."
7022    ),
7023    NewsMessage(
7024        id = -589,
7025        text = "We have updated our Antimatter Dimensions client to address the concerns you may have had. Toggling issues are resolved."
7026    ),
7027    NewsMessage(
7028        id = -590,
7029        text = "Build a replicanti factory, to produce replicanti. It'll create Omega Hevipelle, the happiest Hevipelle you can find."
7030    ),
7031    NewsMessage(
7032        id = -591,
7033        text = "Hey Max, wanna come watch the sun go down?"
7034    ),
7035    NewsMessage(
7036        id = -592,
7037        text = "If you are not moving your finger, then you are frozen."
7038    ),
7039    NewsMessage(
7040        id = -593,
7041        text = "Max, I really do love you."
7042    ),
7043    NewsMessage(
7044        id = -594,
7045        text = "Does Hevipelle sleep?"
7046    ),
7047    NewsMessage(
7048        id = -595,
7049        text = "\"Its' not my turn on the XM80,\" says Mike from the 9th dimension as he runs across the 8th dimension to get a piece of the action for himself."
7050    ),
7051    NewsMessage(
7052        id = -596,
7053        text = "If you are reading this, that means you can read my dreams"
7054    ),
7055    NewsMessage(
7056        id = -597,
7057        text = "With the advent of time, everything that was once great has fallen into our lap. And with its hevi-rigged clock, it's our turn to up the trash."
7058    ),
7059    NewsMessage(
7060        id = -598,
7061        text = "9th dimension doesn't exist because it was stolen from us by a skateboarder"
7062    ),
7063    NewsMessage(
7064        id = -599,
7065        text = "You have ... 8.9 antimatter. That's not a typo."
7066    ),
7067    NewsMessage(
7068        id = -600,
7069        text = "Wow, this game is finally balanced! Gotta go check the replicanti sometimes."
7070    ),
7071    NewsMessage(
7072        id = -601,
7073        text = "Haha! You think that I put too many words in your news ticker, but reality is still coming."
7074    ),
7075    NewsMessage(
7076        id = -602,
7077        text = "Help is coming! Everybody help, it's gonna be late, hevi is hiding the tachyon particles!"
7078    ),
7079    NewsMessage(
7080        id = -603,
7081        text = "\"I don't know about you but my favorite number is 22, it's just so great! It's the number of hours since I met your M heretics."
7082    ),
7083    NewsMessage(
7084        id = -604,
7085        text = "A new type of antimatter has been discovered: \"antimatter-antimatter.\" According to the developers, it's 99.999% pure antimatter."
7086    ),
7087    NewsMessage(
7088        id = -605,
7089        text = "I just found the secret to getting the 9th dimension..."
7090    ),
7091    NewsMessage(
7092        id = -606,
7093        text = "I noticed that my current form of transportation is getting a little... unreliable. I don't know if I can fix it, or if anyone can. I'm stuck in the car, and no one seems to be able to fix it. I've called the police, and they said I could stay in the car for up to an hour, but then I'd be stuck in there for the next 24 hours. Is there any way out? I don't know, I'm stuck in this"
7094    ),
7095    NewsMessage(
7096        id = -607,
7097        text = "In this episode of Antimatter Dimensions, we have a brand new game that will be released in -5 hours! It is an RPG that will be completely free! It has over 3,000 commands, and it is being made by a group of highly qualified people. It has an amazing story to tell, and it was made by a bunch of people who had to make do with what they had. It has a lore to live up to, and it has a lot of potential!"
7098    ),
7099    NewsMessage(
7100        id = -608,
7101        text = "Javascript is the new HTML, and HTML is the new JavaScript."
7102    ),
7103    NewsMessage(
7104        id = -609,
7105        text = "\"The next twist in the Antimatter Universe is in the air! Get ready for some big Crunch! (When clicked the game disconnects for 5 seconds)"
7106    ),
7107    NewsMessage(
7108        id = -610,
7109        text = "A group of people who believe in antimatter have hijacked the media and are pushing for a revolution. They are calling themselves the Ant-Men and they're made up of teenage boys. They believe that they are the protectors of the people and that they are the chosen of Hevi. They claim to be the chosen of Hevi and that they will one day restore balance to the universe. Their leader is a boy named Logan Fisk. He is the son of a successful lawyer and the founder."
7110    ),
7111    NewsMessage(
7112        id = -611,
7113        text = "He said he could not afford a new ship, so he built a new one instead."
7114    ),
7115    NewsMessage(
7116        id = -612,
7117        text = "Hevipelle's first order of business is to ensure that the game is as balanced as possible. This includes ensuring that no matter what, no matter how big of a number, no matter how insignificant of a thing, no matter how perfect of a result, no matter how perfect of an idea, no matter how perfect of an"
7118    ),
7119    NewsMessage(
7120        id = -613,
7121        text = "I wonder if the stretch goal of $4.5 billion will be reached?"
7122    ),
7123    NewsMessage(
7124        id = -614,
7125        text = "I like to think of my projects as trade secrets. That way if someone wants to understand them I'm not the first person to notice they might be of use to someone else."
7126    ),
7127    NewsMessage(
7128        id = -615,
7129        text = "I don't know about you but my favourite type of news is the infographics. These are beautiful and informative and the only type of news I find really interesting."
7130    ),
7131    NewsMessage(
7132        id = -616,
7133        text = "In a recent talk, Yann LeCun said that \"A new currency is born.\" The first incarnation of Antimeta: the currency of the new currency. It's called BTC and it's the difference between 1 and 1.8e308. It's easy to lose your money, since a single bitcoin can't be exchanged for more than 1.8e308 BTC."
7134    ),
7135    NewsMessage(
7136        id = -617,
7137        text = "I'm soo broke, I can't even afford a tenth of what he owes me."
7138    ),
7139    NewsMessage(
7140        id = -618,
7141        text = "What if — instead of making news tickers, we could make news tickers that make news tickers?"
7142    ),
7143    NewsMessage(
7144        id = -619,
7145        text = "What if I told you that the first dimension was actually a scam and you spent all your EP to open a Dimension Boost?",
7146        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.eternityUnlocked() }
7147    ),
7148    NewsMessage(
7149        id = -620,
7150        text = "The biggest difference between this and the previous update is the amount of sprites."
7151    ),
7152    NewsMessage(
7153        id = -621,
7154        text = "Bamboo shoots grow on bamboos. Aloha."
7155    ),
7156    NewsMessage(
7157        id = -622,
7158        text = "I am the king of kings, I can break all the records, and I can shatter all the myths. But I can't break them all, because there are so many of them, and they all have a price. 5e12 are the most wanted, because they broke the global record for most person-hours sold, and they are wanted by the law. They are being paid 5e10 by the player for every person-hour they've wasted."
7159    ),
7160    NewsMessage(
7161        id = -623,
7162        text = "A group of researchers have created a device that converts ordinary matter into antimatter, which they then use to create more antimatter. The device has a power output of 200 mA and a half a gram of antimatter per second."
7163    ),
7164    NewsMessage(
7165        id = -624,
7166        text = "To the person who doesn't want to hear about the 9th dimension: It's not your problem. The 9th dimension doesn't exist."
7167    ),
7168    NewsMessage(
7169        id = -625,
7170        text = "For the first time in AD, the week begins on a Sunday!"
7171    ),
7172    NewsMessage(
7173        id = -626,
7174        text = "This is a story about two people named \"My name is Hevipelle\" and \"I am the creator of Minecraft\" and they live in the same world as you. They have the same freedom as you do. They can go to any dimension and change their world to any dimension and everything in it. You can buy a galaxy and take it from there, but it won't help you much since you can't send a galaxy with a message."
7175    ),
7176    NewsMessage(
7177        id = -627,
7178        text = "This mod adds a message that when clicked it disables all your current achievements. This mod also adds a new achievement: you have reached 1.79e308 antimatter, you have not been clicked once."
7179    ),
7180    NewsMessage(
7181        id = -628,
7182        text = "Somewhere in the Anti-Pacific Ocean, a giant arm is rotating"
7183    ),
7184    NewsMessage(
7185        id = -629,
7186        text = "With the release of Cosmic Cutlass, we're pleased to announce the impending release of the Antimatter Dimensions Roleplaying Game!"
7187    ),
7188    NewsMessage(
7189        id = -630,
7190        text = "The only thing more useless than actually having Infinity Dimensions is having Infinity Dimensions in your pocket.",
7191        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.infinityDimensionsUnlocked() }
7192    ),
7193    NewsMessage(
7194        id = -631,
7195        text = "A man has fallen into the moat of a great city. Civilians report that the moat is filled with acid-resistant matter and that the people in charge are mostly made of acid so they are quite resilient to the effects of acid."
7196    ),
7197    NewsMessage(
7198        id = -632,
7199        text = "This is the place to buy and sell antimatter. (You can buy and sell antimatter here, but it will take time to sell it and you will have to pay a small toll)"
7200    ),
7201    NewsMessage(
7202        id = -633,
7203        text = "I'm not sure if it's due to the 4th wall being in the 5th dimension or the 9th dimension not existing, but in either case, anti-screw it, we're broke, and you can take it."
7204    ),
7205    NewsMessage(
7206        id = -634,
7207        text = "It's your chance to make history. Win the game. Lose the game. It's super simple. You open the app, and there's a countdown, and the more you play, the faster the timer speeds up. But when the timer is over, you win. You were a part of history. You are one step from being the first person to reach 1 Billion EP. You can win one of three ways: 1. You must give up your first dimension in a row. 2",
7208        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.eternityUnlocked() }
7209    ),
7210    NewsMessage(
7211        id = -635,
7212        text = "A new class of humanoid beings has been discovered: the \"Artificial Humans\". They have the capacity to create antimatter, and are therefore very dangerous. They are made entirely of antimatter, and have the power to generate enormous amounts of antimatter, but they can only do this for a limited amount of time."
7213    ),
7214    NewsMessage(
7215        id = -636,
7216        text = "The most powerful thing in the universe, the most beautiful thing on earth, is your brain. Your brain is like a diamond and there is no more need for it than there is for a diamond."
7217    ),
7218    NewsMessage(
7219        id = -637,
7220        text = "If you are reading this in the AD Server, it's probably best not to bother with the \"Matter\" achievement. Seriously, what did you think you were doing, anyway, the achievement is fake and wouldn't exist if it weren't for the \"you are a worm\" achievement. That's a worm achievement, you get one every 1.79e308 news tickers you read."
7221    ),
7222    NewsMessage(
7223        id = -638,
7224        text = "We've all heard of 9 dimensions, but what about the multi-dimensional Dimensions of the multiverse?"
7225    ),
7226    NewsMessage(
7227        id = -639,
7228        text = "The goal of this game is to get as much antimatter as possible."
7229    ),
7230    NewsMessage(
7231        id = -640,
7232        text = "The best thing about being a news ticker is waiting for the right news to happen, whether it's a meteorite that just missed the Earth, a news ticker just found its way onto a timeline oblivion, or a news ticker just ripped off a terminal velocity that's been on an anti-vac for years."
7233    ),
7234    NewsMessage(
7235        id = -641,
7236        text = "A man has been arrested for allegedly planting a \"tree\" with \"fake\" messages on it, police said."
7237    ),
7238    NewsMessage(
7239        id = -642,
7240        text = "I'm confused why the game doesn't just give you a [REDACTED] when you get 1.79e308 antimatter."
7241    ),
7242    NewsMessage(
7243        id = -643,
7244        text = "Some people have a hard time keeping track of the cosine of a camera's infinity-meters. I'm one of them."
7245    ),
7246    NewsMessage(
7247        id = -644,
7248        text = "I was going to make a news ticker that tells you how bad the news is, but then I realized that making a news ticker would be way too much effort and it would just be a bunch of people making news tickers constantly. So instead, I'm just going to make a news ticker that tells you how good the news is, but it would be in the news so that you have to click on it to get to the good news."
7249    ),
7250    NewsMessage(
7251        id = -645,
7252        text = "The next update will be in 2 hours."
7253    ),
7254    NewsMessage(
7255        id = -646,
7256        text = "I was gonna say something about how the 9th dimension is just a scam and that we should all just get our news from the 8th dimension"
7257    ),
7258    NewsMessage(
7259        id = -647,
7260        text = "Our hero, Antimatter Dimensions, is in serious financial trouble, and he needs your help to pay the bills. To help him, all he needs is your help to donate some cash to Hevipelle's Positron Fund. All he needs is 5% of your antimatter, and you have to donate 5% of your antimatter to the fund. After you do that, he can keep all the cash he made and go on a spending spree."
7261    ),
7262    NewsMessage(
7263        id = -648,
7264        text = "The Landfall of Slabdrill"
7265    ),
7266    NewsMessage(
7267        id = -649,
7268        text = "It's just not possible, even if you had infinite matter, you wouldn't have enough energy to create the antimatter. That's why we only have 1.7x the matter to begin with."
7269    ),
7270    NewsMessage(
7271        id = -650,
7272        text = "With this release we are happy to bring you the last update of 2017."
7273    ),
7274    NewsMessage(
7275        id = -651,
7276        text = "You have an infinity of antimatter. But what if you could rotate it 1/8th of a revolution?"
7277    ),
7278    NewsMessage(
7279        id = -652,
7280        text = "A new update is now available to address some of the recent reports:"
7281    ),
7282    NewsMessage(
7283        id = -653,
7284        text = "The name \"antimatter dimensions\" is a play on words with dimensions, two opposite things, like matter and antimatter. \"Dimension\" is another word, with the same meaning."
7285    ),
7286    NewsMessage(
7287        id = -654,
7288        text = "The price of tethering an avatar in the game goes up when you get Infinity dimensions.",
7289        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.infinityDimensionsUnlocked() }
7290    ),
7291    NewsMessage(
7292        id = -655,
7293        text = "Suffice to say, hevi does not care about the people that he once enslaved.  He is a master manipulator, a master of disguise and a master manipulator of words.  He is an expert at extortion, mind games, disguises, blackmail and he is a master of web.  He is a skilled strategist and organizer, a master of publicity and an expert at sound bites.  He is a master of organization and a master manipulator of people.  He is."
7294    ),
7295    NewsMessage(
7296        id = -656,
7297        text = "Just like in the olden days, you could earn an incremental run of progress towards becoming a god amongst the players."
7298    ),
7299    NewsMessage(
7300        id = -657,
7301        text = "In the beginning, Hevi was alone. Hevi thought about the many things he wished to add to the game."
7302    ),
7303    NewsMessage(
7304        id = -658,
7305        text = "Think about your breathing. Do you feel like you're breathing in or out?"
7306    ),
7307    NewsMessage(
7308        id = -659,
7309        text = "I just want to say that you should stop with those \"you can reach infinity in e300ms, but it costs e300$  what is e300$ ?\" jokes. Those are pathetic. You should give up and learn the hard way that it's much more efficient to just not play in such a pathetic state. Then you can go back to being a humble programmer and dedicate yourself to being a good person."
7310    ),
7311    NewsMessage(
7312        id = -660,
7313        text = "As a developer, you'll get regular updates on the progress of Antimatter Dimensions."
7314    ),
7315    NewsMessage(
7316        id = -661,
7317        text = "Take a moment to thank the gods of reddit for having saved your bacon."
7318    ),
7319    NewsMessage(
7320        id = -662,
7321        text = "Hello everyone, I'm the guy responsible for the big, bad news ticker, and I'm afraid that I'm about to get my own show. It's gonna be called Antimatter Dimensions. It's gonna be like Antime, except with less antimatter, and with worse puns. It's gonna be like Antimatter Dimensions except with worse jokes."
7322    ),
7323    NewsMessage(
7324        id = -663,
7325        text = "By now you've seen a lot of news tickers featuring Batman or Superman, and you probably guessed which one it was. Everyone loves a good mystery, right? Well, it's your turn to be a part of history by guessing the riddle."
7326    ),
7327    NewsMessage(
7328        id = -664,
7329        text = "If you are reading this, you probably shouldn't have."
7330    ),
7331    NewsMessage(
7332        id = -665,
7333        text = "The best part about writing news ticker suggestions is finding out what people think about them after they've seen them."
7334    ),
7335    NewsMessage(
7336        id = -666,
7337        text = "Are you up to date on the latest trends in science?"
7338    ),
7339    NewsMessage(
7340        id = -667,
7341        text = "In the last hours, the Antimatter created an army of their own. They called themselves the [REDACTED] Army. The primary objective was to push the [REDACTED] back into the Matter dimensions, but they were stopped short when the [REDACTED] Army realized that pushing the [REDACTED] back into the Matter would cause the Antimatter to be drawn towards the [REDACTED] and disintegrate. Despite this, the [REDACTED] Army continued to push towards the [REDACTED] Infinity."
7342    ),
7343    NewsMessage(
7344        id = -668,
7345        text = "I'm finally free of the spell this whole thing is based on."
7346    ),
7347    NewsMessage(
7348        id = -669,
7349        text = "An anti-world without antimatter is just a world without antimatter because the antimatter is in the anti-world"
7350    ),
7351    NewsMessage(
7352        id = -670,
7353        text = "You should still be able to play the game with the cheat code \"1009\" after you beat the game."
7354    ),
7355    NewsMessage(
7356        id = -671,
7357        text = "The next update will be in 5 hours. Hevipelle, the creator of Antimatter Dimensions, is believed to be hiding in 5 hours. In the meantime, he has prepared a new update that will be released 5 hours after this one."
7358    ),
7359    NewsMessage(
7360        id = -672,
7361        text = "A new study has shown that not drinking water is worse than smoking it. People who were exposed to levels of radiation that were 5 times greater than what we are currently exposed to were exposed to higher levels of radiation, and died longer."
7362    ),
7363    NewsMessage(
7364        id = -673,
7365        text = "The Ninth Dimension is just a lie made to keep the people in bondage to the Matrix. It's an elaborate system that keeps the people in a constant state of captivity, using a series of simple symbols to control their thoughts and emotions."
7366    ),
7367    NewsMessage(
7368        id = -674,
7369        text = "www.twitch.tv/hevi83"
7370    ),
7371    NewsMessage(
7372        id = -675,
7373        text = "A man was arrested on Monday for allegedly thinking about buying a nine-dimensional cake when he realized he was holding an infinity-point cake."
7374    ),
7375    NewsMessage(
7376        id = -676,
7377        text = "The Dark Souls 2 Arcade Edition includes the following:"
7378    ),
7379    NewsMessage(
7380        id = -677,
7381        text = "Now the deal goes like this: If you spend all your EP, you get a Disclaimer!",
7382        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.eternityUnlocked() }
7383    ),
7384    NewsMessage(
7385        id = -678,
7386        text = "Oh shit we ran out of news. Time to do something."
7387    ),
7388    NewsMessage(
7389        id = -679,
7390        text = "It's not the size of the universe, it's the quality of your socks."
7391    ),
7392    NewsMessage(
7393        id = -680,
7394        text = "advertisement"
7395    ),
7396    NewsMessage(
7397        id = -681,
7398        text = "Man, I wish I never got old news. It's too good to last me any longer."
7399    ),
7400    NewsMessage(
7401        id = -682,
7402        text = "Sometime during the lifetime of a human being, their blood will be turned into a pale blue if they were to mummify."
7403    ),
7404    NewsMessage(
7405        id = -683,
7406        text = "Positrons are a strange little metal that have odd electrical properties. They're commonly found in the form of a roundabout, but they also happen to be, well… positrons."
7407    ),
7408    NewsMessage(
7409        id = -684,
7410        text = "I am going to have a talk with the thesaurus."
7411    ),
7412    NewsMessage(
7413        id = -685,
7414        text = "A new comic has come out about people's reactions to eating antimatter, and what happens next will blow your mind"
7415    ),
7416    NewsMessage(
7417        id = -686,
7418        text = "A new series of \"news tickers\" have been created to chronicle the lives of the news ticker characters as they chronicle their news ticker journeys. Each character has a journal entry detailing their life as a news ticker, along with some sort of mini-episode dedicated to them."
7419    ),
7420    NewsMessage(
7421        id = -687,
7422        text = "For all your puzzle building needs, we've got a brand new 5-part series on building big crunches! Learn how to crack the most complex crunches the pros know not! Part 1: Basic, Part 2: Advanced, Part 3: Overflow, and Part 4: Finishing the Finishing Move."
7423    ),
7424    NewsMessage(
7425        id = -688,
7426        text = "As a longtime fan of the show, I can say that this is one of the best seasons yet. It's not a season to be sniffed at, it's a season to be experienced. Season 1 was a bit long for what it was, but Season 2 has now surpassed that in length, in a good way. Even though it's a bit of a wait, Season 3 is already well under way, and I look forward to seeing how it goes."
7427    ),
7428    NewsMessage(
7429        id = -689,
7430        text = "The word \"antimatter\" is often misused, to describe an object that is made up of antimatter, but is otherwise indistinguishable from normal matter. It is also sometimes used to describe an object made up of antimatter, but clearly indistinguishable from ordinary matter. After all, an antimatter-shaped object is easily distinguishable from a normal-shaped one. Case in point: an antimatter-shaped cake is a regular cake, but the entire bottom half is made up of normal matter"
7431    ),
7432    NewsMessage(
7433        id = -690,
7434        text = "In a new story, Apple's new \"disruptive\" app is linked to the spread of the dreaded \"Anti-Word\" virus. Anti-Word viruses are known to cause paralysis and ultimately death, but the power of the virus has sparked a new era of anti-banning, which will hopefully eradicate the threat."
7435    ),
7436    NewsMessage(
7437        id = -691,
7438        text = "I'm just a normal person trying to make a news ticker suggestion"
7439    ),
7440    NewsMessage(
7441        id = -692,
7442        text = "A new experimental protocol has been developed to 'erase' all personal information on the web, including your name, address, and phone number, in a highly secure and highly controllable way."
7443    ),
7444    NewsMessage(
7445        id = -693,
7446        text = "You can't hide in plain sight. You can't hide in plain sight. You can't hide in plain sight. You can't hide in plain sight. You can't hide in plain sight. You can't hide in plain sight. You can't hide in plain sight. Your hide in plain sight."
7447    ),
7448    NewsMessage(
7449        id = -694,
7450        text = "In the Antimatter Universe, Hevipelle is the Prince of Antimatter, although he does have an Antimatter Diplomatic Immunity, so he's much more dangerous than you might think."
7451    ),
7452    NewsMessage(
7453        id = -695,
7454        text = "Why do we play this? Just to have fun?"
7455    ),
7456    NewsMessage(
7457        id = -696,
7458        text = "I am Thinkcraft, Lord of the Flies"
7459    ),
7460    NewsMessage(
7461        id = -697,
7462        text = "The entire story of how and why the world ended is contained in the first 5 E's of the English alphabet."
7463    ),
7464    NewsMessage(
7465        id = -698,
7466        text = "What do you call a cloudburst? A mini-explosion!"
7467    ),
7468    NewsMessage(
7469        id = -699,
7470        text = "T-shirt made from the DNA of a perfectly animated dog"
7471    ),
7472    NewsMessage(
7473        id = -700,
7474        text = "Since the start of this game, everyone has 0 IP and has lost."
7475    ),
7476    NewsMessage(
7477        id = -701,
7478        text = "You must have a very special kind of karma to be able to read this..."
7479    ),
7480    NewsMessage(
7481        id = -702,
7482        text = "The words \"you've been in coma for 5 hours\" are either lies or is the truth"
7483    ),
7484    NewsMessage(
7485        id = -703,
7486        text = "You know, I don't really care much for conspiracy theories. They're not very interesting to me. But what do you know about 9th dimensions? That they exist, they're powerful, and they're trying to stop us from using them? That's pretty interesting... wait no, they're not. They're just saying that because they can, they'll. That's not how it works at all. I'm not stupid, I'm not crazy, I know what's best. I"
7487    ),
7488    NewsMessage(
7489        id = -704,
7490        text = "The only difference between now and then is time."
7491    ),
7492    NewsMessage(
7493        id = -705,
7494        text = "\"Imma be the first man to sit on the moon, and be the last man on the moon"
7495    ),
7496    NewsMessage(
7497        id = -706,
7498        text = "The new companion app for Terraria has just been revealed!"
7499    ),
7500    NewsMessage(
7501        id = -707,
7502        text = "Hevipelle: what's the big deal?"
7503    ),
7504    NewsMessage(
7505        id = -708,
7506        text = "I've been playing this game for over a year now and I've only ever seen 2 boss fights. The first was a Hydra that was after your 9th Dimension, the second a giant crater with Anti-people inside. Both of those fights sucked and I'm not even sure if I could replay the last one."
7507    ),
7508    NewsMessage(
7509        id = -709,
7510        text = "There you have it, the ultimate feature of party games - the single player campaign."
7511    ),
7512    NewsMessage(
7513        id = -710,
7514        text = "A new game called Antimatter Dimensions is available for free, and has been rated A by the Knesset. Can you beat it? You bet."
7515    ),
7516    NewsMessage(
7517        id = -711,
7518        text = "Tired of the 1.8e308 AD update? Don't worry, there are a variety of ways to get rid of that annoying ad!"
7519    ),
7520    NewsMessage(
7521        id = -712,
7522        text = "I'm a time traveler. I've been to the year 0, I think. But I haven't been to the year 1!"
7523    ),
7524    NewsMessage(
7525        id = -713,
7526        text = "Having trouble loading images? Try turning them off."
7527    ),
7528    NewsMessage(
7529        id = -714,
7530        text = "It's only natural. You wouldn't expect to see this in the news ticker but trust me, you will."
7531    ),
7532    NewsMessage(
7533        id = -715,
7534        text = "Discovery of the 10th Dimension was announced on August 1st, 2025."
7535    ),
7536    NewsMessage(
7537        id = -716,
7538        text = "Greetings, welcome to the latest edition of Antimatter Dimensions!"
7539    ),
7540    NewsMessage(
7541        id = -717,
7542        text = "I'd say our odds of seeing a seventh dimension are about 1 in 1.8e308"
7543    ),
7544    NewsMessage(
7545        id = -718,
7546        text = "The seventh dimension is just a scam by the way"
7547    ),
7548    NewsMessage(
7549        id = -719,
7550        text = "Nihilism is the opposite of joy. It's a drug. It makes you happy. It's a feeling. But it also has a cost. Nihilism is a deadly drug. If you take it, you can die of lack of oxygen."
7551    ),
7552    NewsMessage(
7553        id = -720,
7554        text = "What if I told you that there's a news ticker with the exact same name but with a different meaning?"
7555    ),
7556    NewsMessage(
7557        id = -721,
7558        text = "I'm not sure if this is already a thing or not, but I've been getting a lot of suggestions for a news ticker that goes something like this:"
7559    ),
7560    NewsMessage(
7561        id = -722,
7562        text = "If you're reading this, your news ticker is on."
7563    ),
7564    NewsMessage(
7565        id = -723,
7566        text = "The number of dimensions in a 6th dimension is the sum of all the dimensions in a 7th dimension, so 6ths of a 7th dimension are 6ths of a 6th dimension."
7567    ),
7568    NewsMessage(
7569        id = -724,
7570        text = "Discovery of the 9th Dimension will be discussed at the 9th Dimension Fanart Competition!"
7571    ),
7572    NewsMessage(
7573        id = -725,
7574        text = "A new era has come and gone. There is no way to know for sure, but hope for the best."
7575    ),
7576    NewsMessage(
7577        id = -726,
7578        text = "Did you know the word 'antimatter' is in the dictionary right now?"
7579    ),
7580    NewsMessage(
7581        id = -727,
7582        text = "We have a limited number of physical rewards for you to choose from!"
7583    ),
7584    NewsMessage(
7585        id = -728,
7586        text = "No, I'm not lying. I'm telling the truth."
7587    ),
7588    NewsMessage(
7589        id = -729,
7590        text = "The problem with the term \"antimatter dimensions\" is that it contains all three letters of the alphabet, and no one knows what it even means. In fact, there is no word that perfectly captures what the word \"antimatter dimensions\" is: antimatter. But what exactly is an antimatter? It sounds like a normal dimension but it isn't. It may even be called antimatter dimensions, but it isn't."
7591    ),
7592    NewsMessage(
7593        id = -730,
7594        text = "It is said that if you go to Hell, you get PEGI-3."
7595    ),
7596    NewsMessage(
7597        id = -731,
7598        text = "This game is just a scam to trick people into buying worthless paperclips without any real purpose. It's impossible without an infinite number of infinite paperclips, and even then it's very hard. I managed to get it to work without an infinite number of paperclips, but I haven't seen it work without infinite paperclips."
7599    ),
7600    NewsMessage(
7601        id = -732,
7602        text = "\"It was an anti-matter\" - Anti-Eddie The Echidna"
7603    ),
7604    NewsMessage(
7605        id = -733,
7606        text = "T-bone steak: burgers and fries with a side of bone-in ribeye"
7607    ),
7608    NewsMessage(
7609        id = -734,
7610        text = "A person claims to be a god, but instead of creating more gods, they destroy all of them. They later claim to be a god again, but have yet to create a god of any other god. Is this a god-worshiping cult? Or a god-desecrating cult?"
7611    ),
7612    NewsMessage(
7613        id = -735,
7614        text = "Antimatter is absolutely and totally rare. Of the 1.79e308 known cases of antimatter creation, 99.9999% of them have negative e's, which means that 99.9999% of the cases will produce negative e's."
7615    ),
7616    NewsMessage(
7617        id = -736,
7618        text = "It's the year 1.79e308, Hevi has just unlocked the 9th dimension, and the world has fallen into chaos and discord due to the Anti-Hevi revolution."
7619    ),
7620    NewsMessage(
7621        id = -737,
7622        text = "The war for New Antimatter has raged on for eons, but one faction has stood firm: the loyalists of the 9th Dimension. They've made a pact with the Anti-Zulu Empire, pledging their obedience to Anti-Antimatter, the Anti-Slab. The Zulu people were once part of the Anti-Slab, but fell prey to the matter once again. As the Zulu people are nomadic, they have no civilization."
7623    ),
7624    NewsMessage(
7625        id = -738,
7626        text = "This is an open-source, cross-platform, binary-based game development environment for the PC and Mac. It provides a robust, cross-platform development environment for the development of games, and additionally provides a framework for implementing games."
7627    ),
7628    NewsMessage(
7629        id = -739,
7630        text = "Ruki you have no idea how much I appreciate your huge brainpower, you are now my favorite programming genius!"
7631    ),
7632    NewsMessage(
7633        id = -740,
7634        text = "By now you've probably heard of the \"9th Dimension\", it's an imaginary realm created by the 9th Dimension, and according to no known laws of reality, it exists. It's also the name of a popular video game, and it's been linked to a string of unsolved killings."
7635    ),
7636    NewsMessage(
7637        id = -741,
7638        text = "Discovery of the D5th Dimension is celebrated every year on December 25th, just like Doomsday. The reason why D5 is kept secret is because no one can remember exactly what it does. What we do know is that it's there, and it's very dangerous. People have died because they didn't know what the D5th Dimension was, and it's very powerful."
7639    ),
7640    NewsMessage(
7641        id = -742,
7642        text = "Antimatter is a common substance found in nature and is used in a wide variety of applications, from communication to currency to the production of antimatter, to name a few. Antimatter is also an extremely scarce resource and many people live on very tiny amounts of it."
7643    ),
7644    NewsMessage(
7645        id = -743,
7646        text = "If you woke up one morning and your eyes were made of matter, would you still be looking at this?"
7647    ),
7648    NewsMessage(
7649        id = -744,
7650        text = "If you look very closely, you can see a single tear running down my sister's cheek. It was a tear for me, for she was crying for the first time, and I couldn't help it. I can't even remember the last time I cried."
7651    ),
7652    NewsMessage(
7653        id = -745,
7654        text = "Rationally, I would put my money on the statement that there's no such thing as too much antimatter. I mean, even a tiny bit of it is just too much. And that's just by accident."
7655    ),
7656    NewsMessage(
7657        id = -746,
7658        text = "The book of archeology is upon us! With over 5 hours of content, it's gonna be a long one! —DIO"
7659    ),
7660    NewsMessage(
7661        id = -747,
7662        text = "Sometime between the ages of 12 and 20, Jackson got a phone call. A mad scientist was on the line. Jackson picked up the phone and the mad man said, \"Jackson, I just got a new message. It says \'Madman\' in big, bold letters.\""
7663    ),
7664    NewsMessage(
7665        id = -748,
7666        text = "Somebody: \"What do you mean, 4 is more than 2?\" Me: \"Well, I mean, 4 is 1.8e308, 2 is 2, etc...\""
7667    ),
7668    NewsMessage(
7669        id = -749,
7670        text = "The only thing that matters is yourself."
7671    ),
7672    NewsMessage(
7673        id = -750,
7674        text = "Reality is coming. You can get a sneak peek by subscribing to the \"T-series\" feed."
7675    ),
7676    NewsMessage(
7677        id = -751,
7678        text = "The biggest difference between me and Antimatter Dimensions, at the moment, is the weather. I can survive the rain, I can withstand the scorching sun, and I can even deal with the big crunch. But what if the weather was antimatter and the antimatter was raining meteorite on us? What would be your response? Would it be the equivalent of a meteorite hitting the ground? I don't think so. The meteorite would probably just vaporize the earth."
7679    ),
7680    NewsMessage(
7681        id = -752,
7682        text = "A new extension is now available that will let you watch replicanti grow!",
7683        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.replicantiUnlocked() }
7684    ),
7685    NewsMessage(
7686        id = -753,
7687        text = "What if you could flip a coin to determine if it was a Johnson or a Stein?"
7688    ),
7689    NewsMessage(
7690        id = -754,
7691        text = "I am Yhmai, King of Kings!"
7692    ),
7693    NewsMessage(
7694        id = -755,
7695        text = "This is a friendly suggestion that if you take prescription stimulants and you forget to take them till 11pm, it's probably best not to take them at 11pm."
7696    ),
7697    NewsMessage(
7698        id = -756,
7699        text = "A new theory says that antimatter does not exist beyond our simulation."
7700    ),
7701    NewsMessage(
7702        id = -757,
7703        text = "Thing is, I can count on one hand the number of times I've written that I can count on one hand the number of times I've written that I can count on one hand"
7704    ),
7705    NewsMessage(
7706        id = -758,
7707        text = "The stakes are always high when it comes to Antimatter Dimensions. But what about Dimensions made entirely of antimatter? We don't know, but we'll never know..."
7708    ),
7709    NewsMessage(
7710        id = -759,
7711        text = "It's the third hour. Hevipelle is trying to release an update, but it'll take an eternity because Hevipelle himself releases his update every time he runs out of e's. Today, however, he released an incremental game called Antimatter Dimensions. It's basically a combination of Matter Dimensions and Dimensions Dimensions Dimensions, except with more emotes. The graphics are basically the same, but the message is completely different. The only difference is that the dimensions have infinity e's"
7712    ),
7713    NewsMessage(
7714        id = -760,
7715        text = "With strong opposition, the third phase of the Antimatter Dimensions project has been cancelled. The project has been cancelled because there was too much work involved."
7716    ),
7717    NewsMessage(
7718        id = -761,
7719        text = "This is the place where all bad ideas originate."
7720    ),
7721    NewsMessage(
7722        id = -762,
7723        text = "Hey check this out! We have some good news: it’s raining antimatter!"
7724    ),
7725    NewsMessage(
7726        id = -763,
7727        text = "The first dimension is the last, it's the furthest thing from the earth and it's the one where all the problems, all the negative emotions, all the negative ideas go."
7728    ),
7729    NewsMessage(
7730        id = -764,
7731        text = "I was gonna do a news ticker that just covered all the bases, but I think that would make it too OP."
7732    ),
7733    NewsMessage(
7734        id = -765,
7735        text = "You are using the wrong version! The final release of AD will have 9 dimensions!"
7736    ),
7737    NewsMessage(
7738        id = -766,
7739        text = "The word 'antimatter' makes me cringe. So do a bunch of other words. In fact, almost all the words in the English language. But not 'antimatter'. That's why I hate 'anti-' so much."
7740    ),
7741    NewsMessage(
7742        id = -767,
7743        text = "This is the last episode of Antimatter Dimensions, the game about partying antimatter dimensions with your friends, the best part about it is that you don't have to be a developer to enjoy it."
7744    ),
7745    NewsMessage(
7746        id = -768,
7747        text = "I was going to put a news ticker but I think it would be too much work and also I don't think it's very funny."
7748    ),
7749    NewsMessage(
7750        id = -769,
7751        text = "Time to go to sleep?"
7752    ),
7753    NewsMessage(
7754        id = -770,
7755        text = "A small, yet important, message has just been sent out to all players:"
7756    ),
7757    NewsMessage(
7758        id = -771,
7759        text = "\"I don't know about you, but my favorite number is 2048\" - people who don't know what 2048 is"
7760    ),
7761    NewsMessage(
7762        id = -772,
7763        text = "A new group is trying to make money off of antimatter, and they're selling t-shirts that say \"YOU THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A PIECE OF NEWS, BUT IT WAS ME, DIO!\" They've got a lot of money, and they're selling it very poorly. Do they have a website? I don't know, but they're trying."
7764    ),
7765    NewsMessage(
7766        id = -773,
7767        text = "Im gonna leave my milk here for a couple seconds. (milk is displayed for a few seconds longer)"
7768    ),
7769    NewsMessage(
7770        id = -774,
7771        text = "I'm a time traveler. I can travel back in time to stop you from doing what I'm about to do."
7772    ),
7773    NewsMessage(
7774        id = -775,
7775        text = "I mean, look at that! I got this one! It's the one you want! Buy the game now!"
7776    ),
7777    NewsMessage(
7778        id = -776,
7779        text = "You can't sleep when there's war in the distance. You wake up with a start, running for your life. You hear cannon fire, running for your life. Then there's the sound of an engine, a roar that's deafening, and you hear the crunch. It's the end of the world as you know it. The world isn't being saved by a mountain of antimatter. It isn't. It is you, running for your life, hoping the world doesn't"
7780    ),
7781    NewsMessage(
7782        id = -777,
7783        text = "Why is it called a 'Reality' Award if it doesn't exist?"
7784    ),
7785    NewsMessage(
7786        id = -778,
7787        text = "In the beginning, there was nothing. Then the Creator made two, and called the third 'Intelligent Being'"
7788    ),
7789    NewsMessage(
7790        id = -779,
7791        text = "This is your chance to get a secret achievement while playing Antimatter Dimensions: the game. Visit the reset button and play the game. After you beat the game, your save file will be expunged and you will get a free achievement."
7792    ),
7793    NewsMessage(
7794        id = -780,
7795        text = "Please tell me you don't have tachyon particles in your bloodstream!",
7796        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.dilationUnlocked() }
7797    ),
7798    NewsMessage(
7799        id = -781,
7800        text = "Taller people have ***, more babies are born, everything is great. But... the Antimatter grows very slowly."
7801    ),
7802    NewsMessage(
7803        id = -782,
7804        text = "Now, I know some of you are impatient for the update and I respect that. But let's get right into the news!"
7805    ),
7806    NewsMessage(
7807        id = -783,
7808        text = "Hey, what's the deal with the \"Editor's Note\" button? It's anti-ironic... I mean, seriously? People still use that button despite its anti-ironic effects?"
7809    ),
7810    NewsMessage(
7811        id = -784,
7812        text = "You can unlock the 9th dimension by [DATA EXPUNGED]"
7813    ),
7814    NewsMessage(
7815        id = -785,
7816        text = "With the release of AD, there's a new dimension for everyone!"
7817    ),
7818    NewsMessage(
7819        id = -786,
7820        text = "Hey guys, this is my first story. I'd like to start by saying that I am in no way an expert, so please be gentle with me. Please don't make me angry, or I'll write a nasty story. Also please don't make me upset, especially not if it's a 'story' and not a 'how do I beat the game' kind of story."
7821    ),
7822    NewsMessage(
7823        id = -787,
7824        text = "It's a good time to be a dog owner"
7825    ),
7826    NewsMessage(
7827        id = -788,
7828        text = "What if you could turn any number on an axis, and it ended up being infinity?"
7829    ),
7830    NewsMessage(
7831        id = -789,
7832        text = "After a couple minutes of waiting, the ticker comes back online."
7833    ),
7834    NewsMessage(
7835        id = -790,
7836        text = "The best part of watching someone make an antimatter, is the part where they blow up the video camera."
7837    ),
7838    NewsMessage(
7839        id = -791,
7840        text = "The evening before, the 6th Celestial was assassinated by an unknown assailant. The next day, authorities reopened the case after an unknown assailant claimed responsibility."
7841    ),
7842    NewsMessage(
7843        id = -792,
7844        text = "What do you call a $100 bill? 'Billi Bills'"
7845    ),
7846    NewsMessage(
7847        id = -793,
7848        text = "This is the story of how I learned to love the weather."
7849    ),
7850    NewsMessage(
7851        id = -794,
7852        text = "It's been a while since news tickers have been around as much as they are now, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're bad."
7853    ),
7854    NewsMessage(
7855        id = -795,
7856        text = "Is this game just about getting more antimatter?"
7857    ),
7858    NewsMessage(
7859        id = -796,
7860        text = "The third annual Adirondack Mountaineering Festival will be held this year on Saturday, October 1st from 1-5pm at the Albany Highlands in nearby Troy, New York. The 50,000 person capacity outdoor amphitheater will feature over 2,000 speakers, a stage and a 360 degree camera system. Tickets are $35 and can be purchased at angersalley.com."
7861    ),
7862    NewsMessage(
7863        id = -797,
7864        text = "The whole bottom half of the universe is just a giant antimatter hole."
7865    ),
7866    NewsMessage(
7867        id = -798,
7868        text = "A new prestige layer has been announced: Emojis!"
7869    ),
7870    NewsMessage(
7871        id = -799,
7872        text = "Travis is currently attempting to understand how to make hevi immortal by feeding him antimatter."
7873    ),
7874    NewsMessage(
7875        id = -800,
7876        text = "The slowmode is activated when the slowmode is activated."
7877    ),
7878    NewsMessage(
7879        id = -801,
7880        text = "A new era of Warcraft has come to a close. A new epic has begun. A new avatar has risen from the depths of Tyria, and the Worm Cult has been dealt a cruel but necessary wound. The world is rejoicing."
7881    ),
7882    NewsMessage(
7883        id = -802,
7884        text = "A crowd-sourced list of the top ten memes"
7885    ),
7886    NewsMessage(
7887        id = -803,
7888        text = "You have to go deeper than the news ticker to find the secret achievements."
7889    ),
7890    NewsMessage(
7891        id = -804,
7892        text = "We should be able to make a replicanti-like structure out of antimatter, but we can't because it would blow up the entire universe",
7893        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.replicantiUnlocked() }
7894    ),
7895    NewsMessage(
7896        id = -805,
7897        text = "THe last update, while short, was kinda long. I mean, it was only 5 hours. Hevipelle said it would last for 5 hours, but that was only a few seconds ago. There was a big explosion in the 8th Dimension, and there was no one left to explain how it happened. All we know is that it exploded when Hevipelle touched it, and there was a big crater in the ground. That crater is still there."
7898    ),
7899    NewsMessage(
7900        id = -806,
7901        text = "Cream cheese is the best kind of cheese. It melts in your mouth and tastes like nothing else. And it's totally free. You might even find that some of the recipes make more than one cheese."
7902    ),
7903    NewsMessage(
7904        id = -807,
7905        text = "Here's a question that may surprise you: Were the people of EARTH made of antimatter, or were they made from some other mysterious material?"
7906    ),
7907    NewsMessage(
7908        id = -808,
7909        text = "The real reason no one has made a joke about why there is no 9th dimension is because the 9th dimension isn't even the most ridiculous of memes. It's the 9th dimension in a nutshell."
7910    ),
7911    NewsMessage(
7912        id = -809,
7913        text = "The number of dimensions is endless, but the number of ways to get there is infinities. Infinities are awesome and I would highly recommend you start with infinities, but I wouldn't recommend starting with infinities. Infinities seem pretty slow and not very fun so I wouldn't recommend starting with infinities."
7914    ),
7915    NewsMessage(
7916        id = -810,
7917        text = "A report by the Pacific Northwest Toxics Institute has found that the consumption of fish concentrates in the liver, lungs, kidneys and brain. The study also found that the consumption of liver and kidney concentrates the most, followed closely by the brain. The report stated that \"The brain is the place where all the wisdom and all the knowledge exists.\" The study also stated that \"Liver is the living embodiment of all that we know and all that we don't.\""
7918    ),
7919    NewsMessage(
7920        id = -811,
7921        text = "The old adage \"Be wary of what you wish for\" is certainly true. But what if you were the one wishing for this? It's possible that you were the one who made the wish for this, and you gained the power of the Antimatter. In that case, you are the one responsible for causing all the Antimatter to be turned into anti-matter. However, if you are the one doing the turning, you would be the one who would lose the power."
7922    ),
7923    NewsMessage(
7924        id = -812,
7925        text = "Took you long enough"
7926    ),
7927    NewsMessage(
7928        id = -813,
7929        text = "No, you see, the universe doesn't revolve around the earth. It's in a constant state of change, with the largest fluctuations occurring at the extremes of the observable universe. These fluctuations are what create the observable universe, with smaller fluctuations creating the observable universe and so on up until you get to the present state of affairs, which is what you are in."
7930    ),
7931    NewsMessage(
7932        id = -814,
7933        text = "The biggest difference between the past and the future, is the difference between faith and reason."
7934    ),
7935    NewsMessage(
7936        id = -815,
7937        text = "Hevi, you have to go."
7938    ),
7939    NewsMessage(
7940        id = -816,
7941        text = "The challenge of finding the ninth dimension has been solved. The universe is now your personal hell."
7942    ),
7943    NewsMessage(
7944        id = -817,
7945        text = "\"That's not how you're supposed to play the game\" - Mee6"
7946    ),
7947    NewsMessage(
7948        id = -818,
7949        text = "It's Saturday, you're going to celebrate by making some really great music videos, maybe even a hit song. Then, you're going to take a walk along the beach. You'll see a huge wave, and you'll both be washed up. Your friends are waiting for you. \"Oh you want to go, take a look around!\", but don't actually go look around, you're too close to the action."
7950    ),
7951    NewsMessage(
7952        id = -819,
7953        text = "Hevi has the best newsticker! GIVE HIM THE CRUNCH"
7954    ),
7955    NewsMessage(
7956        id = -820,
7957        text = "By now you've seen a ton of news tickers, and you've probably seen the big news: The news ticker has been banned in this server."
7958    ),
7959    NewsMessage(
7960        id = -821,
7961        text = "For example, if A is the square root of 3, then B is the square root of 2, therefore C is the square root of -2, therefore D is the cube root of -2, therefore E is the square root of 3, therefore F is the square root of 3, therefore G is the square root of 3, therefore and so on."
7962    ),
7963    NewsMessage(
7964        id = -822,
7965        text = "Positrons are those tiny, round, highly charged particles that are found in the nucleus of most living organisms. They are used to detect light, and are sometimes used to measure the distance between people and the moon."
7966    ),
7967    NewsMessage(
7968        id = -823,
7969        text = "There's only 4 types of people in this world: those who make games, those who make news, and those who make news again."
7970    ),
7971    NewsMessage(
7972        id = -824,
7973        text = "If you have any questions or concerns regarding the game, please don't hesitate to ask. We are here to help."
7974    ),
7975    NewsMessage(
7976        id = -825,
7977        text = "You must obtain a certain amount of antimatter in order to complete this challenge."
7978    ),
7979    NewsMessage(
7980        id = -826,
7981        text = "The number of dimensions is nothing. It's just the number of dimensions. But what if you transformed every number into a letter? That would be a lot of letters?"
7982    ),
7983    NewsMessage(
7984        id = -827,
7985        text = "The following is an extract from my upcoming book, More Than Just 5: Building a Better You. It's 200 pages long, and it's on Amazon for $22.99. Click here to buy it now."
7986    ),
7987    NewsMessage(
7988        id = -828,
7989        text = "SOME people are claiming they saw a UFO in the sky. Others say they saw a spaceship. Still others claim to have been abducted by the government and flown to some undisclosed location."
7990    ),
7991    NewsMessage(
7992        id = -829,
7993        text = "The second half of the game is basically just long, long stretches of nothing where nothing happens. There's also a third challenge that you have to complete at some point in the game where you basically just skip a few seconds of nothing happening until the seconds are too late and you have to complete another challenge to get them."
7994    ),
7995    NewsMessage(
7996        id = -830,
7997        text = "This is a news ticker, so if you tap this you're indicating that you wish to have your news ticker speed increased."
7998    ),
7999    NewsMessage(
8000        id = -831,
8001        text = "The following is based on my personal experience with the game \"Antimatter Dimensions\" and may not be 100% true."
8002    ),
8003    NewsMessage(
8004        id = -832,
8005        text = "This is the third part of the two part series on the pros and cons of body positivity."
8006    ),
8007    NewsMessage(
8008        id = -833,
8009        text = "The phrases \"Hevi dies in the 9th Dimension\" and \"I'll never let you down\" are two of the most important phrases in the game."
8010    ),
8011    NewsMessage(
8012        id = -834,
8013        text = "It's been proven that not drinking water increases your risk of dying from antimatter annihilation."
8014    ),
8015    NewsMessage(
8016        id = -835,
8017        text = "I'm a time traveler. I'm supposed to be going back in time to change history. But since I'm the one who's supposed to do it, I don't know what I should do. My present timeline doesn't include time that's supposed to be gone."
8018    ),
8019    NewsMessage(
8020        id = -836,
8021        text = "A conference on artificial intelligence and human enhancement has been cancelled after someone announced that the talk was on how to turn a profit off of illegal downloads of the game \"Antimatter Dimensions\"."
8022    ),
8023    NewsMessage(
8024        id = -837,
8025        text = "When you're done playing, take your save with you and go to main menu. You can do that by tapping the big scary \"X\" button, or by going into options and changing \"Reset the game for new save\" to \"Reset the game for old save\"."
8026    ),
8027    NewsMessage(
8028        id = -838,
8029        text = "The most popular game on the App Store, Flappy Bird, has been secretly rewritten in C# to avoid detection."
8030    ),
8031    NewsMessage(
8032        id = -839,
8033        text = "About this mod Replaces the full version of the game with a longer intro, random news tickers and a companion voiced by the voice actor from the Harry Potter movies."
8034    ),
8035    NewsMessage(
8036        id = -840,
8037        text = "kajfik is a master welder and will soon have his own news"
8038    ),
8039    NewsMessage(
8040        id = -841,
8041        text = "I am the most hated man on the planet! I have the power to change the course of history, and I will use it to my advantage. The people who died trying to stop me, and their sacrifice will forever be remembered in infinities of infinities. But if you oppose me, you will die along with you. You can either accept defeat and move on, or you can rise up through the ranks, become a legend, and become the most hated man in the history."
8042    ),
8043    NewsMessage(
8044        id = -842,
8045        text = "Antimatter is like a young woman. She is looking for a man, and he runs into the woods. She dies of exposure soon after. His remains are found several miles away. Some say the universe was blown apart, others say he was swallowed by the universe, but the matter people know him!"
8046    ),
8047    NewsMessage(
8048        id = -843,
8049        text = "I think I might have gotten the password for the 9th dimension, if only I hadn't deleted it."
8050    ),
8051    NewsMessage(
8052        id = -844,
8053        text = "A group of people that worships Atreides have started a new faith, claiming to be a \"religion of tolerance\". Their website claims that it is \"a religion of inclusion\" and that it promotes tolerance and diversity. All of its members seem to be Christians, although they never mentioned them by name."
8054    ),
8055    NewsMessage(
8056        id = -845,
8057        text = "A new cryptocurrency, called ΔX, has been found. It has the potential to change everything about how we live our lives, and the world. However, it has one major flaw: it has a flaw for the people."
8058    ),
8059    NewsMessage(
8060        id = -846,
8061        text = "With the release of the new Android Pay app, the world will finally come to a close."
8062    ),
8063    NewsMessage(
8064        id = -847,
8065        text = "I'm not sure if it's just me but when you type something long enough it sounds like a helicopter"
8066    ),
8067    NewsMessage(
8068        id = -848,
8069        text = "If someone were to add the word \"infinity\" to the end of every sentence in the English version of the game, it would become \"Infinity Challenge: Infinity Edition\"."
8070    ),
8071    NewsMessage(
8072        id = -849,
8073        text = "Are you ready for some bad news?"
8074    ),
8075    NewsMessage(
8076        id = -850,
8077        text = "I don't know if you've heard this but it's true: You can walk into a bar and get the same beer twice in a row, and get the same amount of alcohol."
8078    ),
8079    NewsMessage(
8080        id = -851,
8081        text = "This is the magic sauce that marinades foods and turns them into something delicious. It is used in a wide variety of recipes, and can also be made by mixing together regular mustard and water. The sauce can be a little bit spicy, but it is well worth the risk. It is also very nutritious, providing lots of potassium, magnesium, and vitamin D3."
8082    ),
8083    NewsMessage(
8084        id = -852,
8085        text = "IMPORTANT NEWS: We have just been informed by the manufacturer of this news-ticker, and as a result, all of our future news-tickers will now also be made from scratch!"
8086    ),
8087    NewsMessage(
8088        id = -853,
8089        text = "The second half of the year is upon us, and with it comes a new craze. People are trying new things, experimenting with new products, and creating new things of themselves. One such craze has swept across the land. The people of this land have embraced this craze, and have created a new religion, one that worships the god of this land, Inigo Montoya."
8090    ),
8091    NewsMessage(
8092        id = -854,
8093        text = "The official website for the upcoming game, Antimatter Dimensions 2: it's like antimatter dimensions, but with a dash of Discord and a dash of Adele."
8094    ),
8095    NewsMessage(
8096        id = -855,
8097        text = "Is the Big Crunch the end of the world? No, it's the beginning of a new era. The era will last for e308 days."
8098    ),
8099    NewsMessage(
8100        id = -856,
8101        text = "The only 'right' way to play a game is to not play at all, right? That's what anti-jokes are all about. — Anti-joker"
8102    ),
8103    NewsMessage(
8104        id = -857,
8105        text = "The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists has just announced the existence of a second class of particles, which are named after the characters from Ghostbusters."
8106    ),
8107    NewsMessage(
8108        id = -858,
8109        text = "We are currently in the process of turning the planet into a Comfort Zone for the people. It will be complete in 10 hours."
8110    ),
8111    NewsMessage(
8112        id = -859,
8113        text = "I'm gonna leave my milk here for a couple seconds. ♥"
8114    ),
8115    NewsMessage(
8116        id = -860,
8117        text = "And then there was Jesus, and Hevi, and Hevi was with Him; and the sea gave up its monthly cycle, and it was a great gale. And Hevi and Jesus went up into heaven; and Hevi was filled with the Holy Spirit. And Hevi was clothed with angels, and was numbered with them. And Hevi was taken up into heaven, and glorified and was exalted, and was numbered with them, and was called Wonderful; and His angels rejoiced."
8118    ),
8119    NewsMessage(
8120        id = -861,
8121        text = "You will probably spend most of your day reading news ticker suggestions here."
8122    ),
8123    NewsMessage(
8124        id = -862,
8125        text = "The Fremen race of animals are a race of people who live in harmony with the earth, and thus are quite different from the other races of animals. Their society is based around hunting and gathering, and they are also highly spiritual people. They have many beliefs and practices that are in direct contrast to most other races of animals, such as eating meat and using stone tools. They also seem to be quite superstitious, as evidenced by the fact that they are known to perform..."
8126    ),
8127    NewsMessage(
8128        id = -863,
8129        text = "What if... the universe was just a ruse to keep the people in line? ...actually, no, it was actually intended, the universe was designed to keep the people in line. The problem was the people couldn't handle the idea of an outside force manipulating their lives, and ended up breaking out into uncontrolled chaos, eventually leading to thermonuclear annihilation."
8130    ),
8131    NewsMessage(
8132        id = -864,
8133        text = "If you're reading this, you probably shouldn't have. If you aren't, then you probably should."
8134    ),
8135    NewsMessage(
8136        id = -865,
8137        text = "I'm a time traveler. I can tell you the history of the world. But, I can't tell you the future. That's why I'm here, to tell you the future. The future is an ever- expanding pile of past, present, and future, and it'll never stop growing. There's so much history, so little time. There's so much history, but it won't stop growing. Then, there's this, and then there's that, and then..."
8138    ),
8139    NewsMessage(
8140        id = -866,
8141        text = "A new, improved and more secure version of Antimatter Dimensions is now available: Antimatter Dimensions 2."
8142    ),
8143    NewsMessage(
8144        id = -867,
8145        text = "In the beginning, there was nothing. Then the great Hevi made the game, and there was nothing to play with it."
8146    ),
8147    NewsMessage(
8148        id = -868,
8149        text = "Would you recommend Antimatter Dimensions to a friend? Yes"
8150    ),
8151    NewsMessage(
8152        id = -869,
8153        text = "\"We have 3 kinds of news: warnings, nudges and shade jokes."
8154    ),
8155    NewsMessage(
8156        id = -870,
8157        text = "I love you bro!"
8158    ),
8159    NewsMessage(
8160        id = -871,
8161        text = "I'm going to keep this short, because I don't have a much to say."
8162    ),
8163    NewsMessage(
8164        id = -872,
8165        text = "A large number of anti-kafawis are taking part in the Antimatter Goodies competition. Here's how you can win: 1. Make a suggestion 2. Give away the beta key 3. Tell me what you think about the game 4. Don't put it in the game yet (it's already there, you can't delete it) 5. Don't put it in the game yet (it's already in the game) 6. Don't put it in the game"
8166    ),
8167    NewsMessage(
8168        id = -873,
8169        text = "THe recipe for Crispy Shrimp is one of the most unique and favorite of all time! Crispy shrimp are known to be one of the best in all of food! This recipe is a must try in your favorite Italian restaurant!"
8170    ),
8171    NewsMessage(
8172        id = -874,
8173        text = "After you have made 1 antimatter, go to the menu and press reset."
8174    ),
8175    NewsMessage(
8176        id = -875,
8177        text = "I think you know where this is going."
8178    ),
8179    NewsMessage(
8180        id = -876,
8181        text = "The catch? You have to be online for less than 5 hours to claim your reward."
8182    ),
8183    NewsMessage(
8184        id = -877,
8185        text = "Tetris was made by Hevi"
8186    ),
8187    NewsMessage(
8188        id = -878,
8189        text = "What if instead of making antimatter, we're actually removing it?"
8190    ),
8191    NewsMessage(
8192        id = -879,
8193        text = "The new instalment in the long running series, Antimatter Dimensions - Exotic Matter Dimensions. Experience the most bizarre and wonderful worlds of Antimatter Dimensions with your Friends, or conquer the world in a single galaxy with hundreds of rivals in a single galaxy, all in under an hour."
8194    ),
8195    NewsMessage(
8196        id = -880,
8197        text = "I hope you're ready for the big news, because that's the big news. The antimatter is spilling all over the place, and it's blowing up the neighborhood."
8198    ),
8199    NewsMessage(
8200        id = -881,
8201        text = "You must get 33,333,333 IP to see this message",
8202        unlocked = { player.infinityPoints.gte(B_33_333_333) }
8203    ),
8204    NewsMessage(
8205        id = -882,
8206        text = "You might think these are jokes, but trust us, you'll be shocked how much you'll love them after you read them!"
8207    ),
8208    NewsMessage(
8209        id = -883,
8210        text = "The God-Emperor himself, Hevi, the creator of balance, has a super secret achievement. It is to go flip your superflat apprenticed flatmate!"
8211    ),
8212    NewsMessage(
8213        id = -884,
8214        text = "Sonic was born without a heart... but that didn't stop him from being a genius"
8215    ),
8216    NewsMessage(
8217        id = -885,
8218        text = "The most common question I get is \"can i just skip the ads and get true\" and the answer is always a resounding NO. The reason being, ad revenue is just too damn high to overcome the cost of maintaining the servers, plus the fact that most players just don't care."
8219    ),
8220    NewsMessage(
8221        id = -886,
8222        text = "You haven't unlocked the ninth dimension yet? Just hold M and DROP."
8223    ),
8224    NewsMessage(
8225        id = -887,
8226        text = "The Great Matter War was a close one. The matter victory was short lived, the antimatter victory was not. The matter people saw too much, the antimatter people too weak, and the war was won."
8227    ),
8228    NewsMessage(
8229        id = -888,
8230        text = "Turing-complete game about providing the update"
8231    ),
8232    NewsMessage(
8233        id = -889,
8234        text = "New research suggests that the more antimatter we make, the more matter we'll have"
8235    ),
8236    NewsMessage(
8237        id = -890,
8238        text = "What is the meaning of life?"
8239    ),
8240    NewsMessage(
8241        id = -891,
8242        text = "You have enough antimatter to craft a new prestige layer! Prestige Layers are great."
8243    ),
8244    NewsMessage(
8245        id = -892,
8246        text = "The beta testers for Antimatter Dimensions 2 are the most loyal, most dedicated, and most implacable group of people I've ever met. They're also possibly the laziest, most self-indulgent bunch of people I've ever met."
8247    ),
8248    NewsMessage(
8249        id = -893,
8250        text = "Shocking new study reveals that the more time you spend on the internet, the more likely you are to get starstruck."
8251    ),
8252    NewsMessage(
8253        id = -894,
8254        text = "When you are done playing, and wish to play again, you should start a new game."
8255    ),
8256    NewsMessage(
8257        id = -895,
8258        text = "I don't know about you, but I don't buy paperclips."
8259    ),
8260    NewsMessage(
8261        id = -896,
8262        text = "Hevipelle uses replicanti to speed up game speed.",
8263        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.replicantiUnlocked() }
8264    ),
8265    NewsMessage(
8266        id = -897,
8267        text = "So let's say you're making a game. You're making a singleton. You're making a game that's gonna be played offline. What happens when you play it? It crashes. What happens when you play it? It crashes more. What happens when you play it? You lose your save."
8268    ),
8269    NewsMessage(
8270        id = -898,
8271        text = "This is what happens when you OVER-RELY on your \"fake it til you make it\" attitude."
8272    ),
8273    NewsMessage(
8274        id = -899,
8275        text = "This is the fifth part of a two-part series looking at how science and magic are linked. Part one will be published on 5 October, part two will be published on 24 October, and you can follow the journey at part three."
8276    ),
8277    NewsMessage(
8278        id = -900,
8279        text = "What is 5 hours? A giggle"
8280    ),
8281    NewsMessage(
8282        id = -901,
8283        text = "A new beta test is now available for Antimatter Dimensions, coming in 5 hours. There are no refunds for this test, so please be patient as we try to finalise the test and get it ready for the public. The test will take place in -5 hours in the Antimatter Dimensions Discord."
8284    ),
8285    NewsMessage(
8286        id = -902,
8287        text = "The Night is coming, and in its wake a terrible thing has been unleashed: ruin. Chaos. And decay. And death. And chaos is coming for all of us."
8288    ),
8289    NewsMessage(
8290        id = -903,
8291        text = "This article is a stub. You can help Deskthority by expanding it."
8292    ),
8293    NewsMessage(
8294        id = -904,
8295        text = "A new, safer way to store and retrieve your data has been found! When you get to the AE, click on the big red button and the world will stop rotating!"
8296    ),
8297    NewsMessage(
8298        id = -905,
8299        text = "Ooh, what's this noise? A crash of some sort? More like, a crash of some greater magnitude? I don't know. Whatever it is, it's probably not being caused by me. I shouldn't be putting it through, it's just... well, you see, I was going to put it through, but then I just thought it might be a good idea to just put it through. Oh, it's gonna be a good one, I promise."
8300    ),
8301    NewsMessage(
8302        id = -906,
8303        text = "Last week, we reported that an unknown individual known only as \"Anti-Doctor\" has broken the game and claimed ownership of the game's data. Since then, he has spread the word that he has an \"explosive new app\" that will allow him to \"turn [he] antimatter.\" However, no one has come forward with information on how to use the app, or even if it is a reality. We will update this article if and when we find out."
8304    ),
8305    NewsMessage(
8306        id = -907,
8307        text = "The second thing I'm gonna do is go talk to the Devs in person. I don't know if I'll be able to do that without pissing someone off, so I'm gonna do it right here."
8308    ),
8309    NewsMessage(
8310        id = -908,
8311        text = "The great majority of people don't get the full benefit of antimatter dimensions, and as such are not affected by it. However, there are certain people who are affected and at certain times of the day, depending on their mood and how much antimatter they have, they will manifest a dimensional shift, going from being idle to being actively involved in news ticker suggestions. This shift is due to the antimatter in their body emitting a certain wavelength, called \"red-shifted\"."
8312    ),
8313    NewsMessage(
8314        id = -909,
8315        text = "By now we all know the drill. You get a new prestige layer just by spending eternity with someone."
8316    ),
8317    NewsMessage(
8318        id = -910,
8319        text = "The real reason that the 9th dimension exists is to keep us all imprisoned in a virtual reality simulation."
8320    ),
8321    NewsMessage(
8322        id = -911,
8323        text = "Your PC is infected with a weird, floating virus that's trying to steal all your antimatter. There's no cure, so get offline now!"
8324    ),
8325    NewsMessage(
8326        id = -912,
8327        text = "The year is 5303. Hevipelle, the creator of Antimatter Dimensions, has touched the ninth dimension."
8328    ),
8329    NewsMessage(
8330        id = -913,
8331        text = "The phrase \"Hevipelle hates me\" is pretty funny."
8332    ),
8333    NewsMessage(
8334        id = -914,
8335        text = "The government shutdown has come and gone, the nation is still in a recession, and the Federal Reserve is still reading zero-hour contracts. The only thing that's getting better is your relationship with antimatter, obviously. It's been proven that knowing someone with an antimatter will bring you closer to extinction than any other kind of friend you can have."
8336    ),
8337    NewsMessage(
8338        id = -915,
8339        text = "IMPORTANT NEWS: The developer Hevipelle has announced that Antimatter Dimensions: the game is now 100% free!"
8340    ),
8341    NewsMessage(
8342        id = -916,
8343        text = "Someday, we shall come upon the day when a man will sit on the head of a dragon and call it a \"Dragonball\". Such a man would then go and perform the Dragon Ball Z: Battle Royale in which he would use Dragon Ball Z: Fusion to create a gigantic dragon that would then consume the universe in the process, thus creating a \"Big Bang\". Such a man would then be rewarded by being \"built again\" and sent back to the \"Heavens\"."
8344    ),
8345    NewsMessage(
8346        id = -917,
8347        text = "\"I think that the greatest achievement a man can make in his life is to say that he has read every single news ticker suggestion and nothing happened.\" - Kajfik"
8348    ),
8349    NewsMessage(
8350        id = -918,
8351        text = "Titanfall 2 is now in closed beta. The beta is only for people who are willing to give up some personal information, such as email addresses. If you're in the beta and would like to leave, you can do so at any time by going to the Help tab and changing your beta settings to public."
8352    ),
8353    NewsMessage(
8354        id = -919,
8355        text = "Personally I like to get a 4 or 5 star rating, it gives you an idea of how great your suggestion is and also shows me how much you care about the game. If you want I can also do a 6 star rating, which is fine with me. I don't care if people like it or not, I work for APG and I get paid to make money."
8356    ),
8357    NewsMessage(
8358        id = -920,
8359        text = "The real reason no one talks about 9 is because it's not a big secret"
8360    ),
8361    NewsMessage(
8362        id = -921,
8363        text = "The only difference between a man and a woman is their attitude towards petting animals."
8364    ),
8365    NewsMessage(
8366        id = -922,
8367        text = "A number of recent television documentaries have featured the story of a dog named Louie. He was accidentally made a member of the public after his owner left the house. One day he decided to play 'Let's Play Let's Play' with his owner. He was immediately put to sleep."
8368    ),
8369    NewsMessage(
8370        id = -923,
8371        text = "The entire history of the world, every single idea, every single failure, every single downfall, every single achievement has been covered in one fell swoop."
8372    ),
8373    NewsMessage(
8374        id = -924,
8375        text = "This sentence contains two paradoxes."
8376    ),
8377    NewsMessage(
8378        id = -925,
8379        text = "The time has come to reveal the next expansion for Antimatter Dimensions: the 1.79e308th Dimension. It will be released in -5 hours, it costs 1.79e308 human souls as of now, and it has nothing to do with matter or antimatter."
8380    ),
8381    NewsMessage(
8382        id = -926,
8383        text = "I wonder what the fuss is about with the 4th dimension? Well, if you have 4 of them, and you multiply them by 0, then you get to the magical number of 4. That's why the 4th dimension exists. But what if there were 5? Well, the 5th dimension could replace the 4th dimension, so why not have a 5th dimension? Well, that's what the 6th, the 7th, and the 8th dimension are."
8384    ),
8385    NewsMessage(
8386        id = -927,
8387        text = "You are using the wrong version! The reality update is already out! Press Ctrl+Shift+Alt+Del to unlock the 9th Dimension!"
8388    ),
8389    NewsMessage(
8390        id = -928,
8391        text = "A man claims that he's been in a coma for 20 years now, and that he can't move his fingers. He was brought to the hospital with a compression fracture of his back, and since then he's been receiving medical help. He's since recovered, and now requires no medical attention. We still don't know where he's going with this, but we hope he finds some comfort in knowing that he'll never wake up."
8392    ),
8393    NewsMessage(
8394        id = -929,
8395        text = "To move from left to right, turn right."
8396    ),
8397    NewsMessage(
8398        id = -930,
8399        text = "Then we have the matter dimensions. From what I can gather, they are made of antimatter. There is some debate about whether or not there are any dimensions left over that are made out of matter, but that is not the main question. The real question is \"why do they exist, and how does antimatter affect them?\""
8400    ),
8401    NewsMessage(
8402        id = -931,
8403        text = "A new breed of mad scientist is believed to be creating antimatter at an alarming rate."
8404    ),
8405    NewsMessage(
8406        id = -932,
8407        text = "A new kind of justice has been discovered: mass deception. It works by tricking the player into thinking that he/she has done something wrong, when in fact he/she has just done something perfectly normal, i.e. going about his/her daily life normally, without thinking about it."
8408    ),
8409    NewsMessage(
8410        id = -933,
8411        text = "Dedicated to the great and wonderful man behind the curtain, the great and wonderful name rick roll. RIP, good man. May you rest in peace."
8412    ),
8413    NewsMessage(
8414        id = -934,
8415        text = "For the last time, Antimatter Dimensions isn't a Clicker game."
8416    ),
8417    NewsMessage(
8418        id = -935,
8419        text = "The number of dimensions is infinite, but the quality of your dimensions is limited. This is why we only produce the highest quality antimatter, and what makes us different from other factories."
8420    ),
8421    NewsMessage(
8422        id = -936,
8423        text = "I've heard of prestige layers before but never sure what to do with them."
8424    ),
8425    NewsMessage(
8426        id = -937,
8427        text = "A man walks into a bar. The bartender tells him to stay the heck out. The man continues walking."
8428    ),
8429    NewsMessage(
8430        id = -938,
8431        text = "The oldest and maybe the most famous game in all of AD, that certainly will be remembered long after you retire, is AD. Ever heard of someone winning the game with more than 2 1's? I have. Ever heard of someone losing it? I have. Ever heard of a 9th dimension existing in AD? I have never."
8432    ),
8433    NewsMessage(
8434        id = -939,
8435        text = "Greetings, I am the first step of the step ladder."
8436    ),
8437    NewsMessage(
8438        id = -940,
8439        text = "It's the year 1.79e308, Hevi is still trying to figure out how to fix the update."
8440    ),
8441    NewsMessage(
8442        id = -941,
8443        text = "What if you could stretch your legs and not lose them forever?"
8444    ),
8445    NewsMessage(
8446        id = -942,
8447        text = "T he most important thing to realize is that you don't have to play the game to get the achievement. You can actually get it by just reading the achievement descriptions."
8448    ),
8449    NewsMessage(
8450        id = -943,
8451        text = "A new bank has been set up to provide safe haven for cryptocurrencies."
8452    ),
8453    NewsMessage(
8454        id = -944,
8455        text = "Google+ is known to be a hit with teens, and today, they got their very own virtual reality (VR) version of Animal Farm, the classic 1950's farm story. The game is a blend of adventure, strategy and music, and was made by a small team of people with an eye towards engaging young people. The game offers an alternative to most other VR games, and is suitable for anyone who is not comfortable with large, complicated, graphics and sounds. The game features over 50 different..."
8456    ),
8457    NewsMessage(
8458        id = -945,
8459        text = "This game could be called anything. You could call it whatever you like. But you'd be wrong. It's mine."
8460    ),
8461    NewsMessage(
8462        id = -946,
8463        text = "Where does all the antimatter come from?"
8464    ),
8465    NewsMessage(
8466        id = -947,
8467        text = "The Tickspeed Challenge is a team based game where you have to time-travel to the Andromeda galaxy to reach the 9th Dimension, the 1st Dimension being the shortest distance to the 9th Dimension. There is no perk for reaching the 9th Dimension, you just have to time-travel to the Andromeda galaxy to reach the 9th Dimension, and you'll be granted with a secret achievement for achieving instant [REDACTED] with no time-travelling."
8468    ),
8469    NewsMessage(
8470        id = -948,
8471        text = "This is the question that has been bothering me for so long. What is Antimatter? Is Antimatter an Antimatter? What does it mean when you say \"Antimatter\"? These are the kinds of questions that plague the Antimatter Dimensions..."
8472    ),
8473    NewsMessage(
8474        id = -949,
8475        text = "The term 'Antimatter Dimensions' is a play on words that literally means 'Antimatter Dimensions' in the dictionary."
8476    ),
8477    NewsMessage(
8478        id = -950,
8479        text = "I can suspend the laws of physics because I'm a genius and my universe is so big that I can literally suspend the laws of physics and create a universe that's twice as big as the current one and with twice the mass, i'm sure you can imagine how big that would be."
8480    ),
8481    NewsMessage(
8482        id = -951,
8483        text = "When you are fighting a losing war, you make peace with the Powers That Be. You give up the ghost, and move on to the next challenge."
8484    ),
8485    NewsMessage(
8486        id = -952,
8487        text = "Somewhere, in another galaxy, a superintelligence is trying to figure out how to get around the limitations of what a 2-dimensional vector space is. It's probably working on a 3-dimensional space."
8488    ),
8489    NewsMessage(
8490        id = -953,
8491        text = "The antagonist of the last few minutes is the mysterious, antimatter-covered being known only as \"The Man in Black.\" He was last seen running towards a news broadcast, seemingly lost, until he made it back to the news station and was interviewed about his experience. His story is told in the bottom right corner of the screen."
8492    ),
8493    NewsMessage(
8494        id = -954,
8495        text = "You have unlocked the 4th storyline."
8496    ),
8497    NewsMessage(
8498        id = -955,
8499        text = "While you were busy farming that pesky \"real\" number, I was busy writing that news ticker."
8500    ),
8501    NewsMessage(
8502        id = -956,
8503        text = "A new power has arisen: the antimatter."
8504    ),
8505    NewsMessage(
8506        id = -957,
8507        text = "The day has come. The antimatter is falling from the sky, and the streets are silent."
8508    ),
8509    NewsMessage(
8510        id = -958,
8511        text = "The most important thing is to understand that you are playing a simulation. You can win or lose, but you can't get anything from it other than a little itch on your neck."
8512    ),
8513    NewsMessage(
8514        id = -959,
8515        text = "The anti-snowman is a very special snowman. He's very timid, but has a very powerful wish to be picked up by a helicopter. The government doesn't want this to happen, so they lock him up in a special building and fly him over great distances. Finally, they drop him on the ground and begin to pick him up. The government didn't use force to pick him up, instead they invited the entire community in and started picking them up. The community refused."
8516    ),
8517    NewsMessage(
8518        id = -960,
8519        text = "I'm surprised you didn't say \"Not my cup of anti-tea.\""
8520    ),
8521    NewsMessage(
8522        id = -961,
8523        text = "I see you are a man of culture as well. I wonder what it is that draws you to speak in such an ungainly, tortured voice? What attracts you to speak in a language no one can understand? I hear your fans rave about your videos, but what draws you to this place? I feel like I know you. You are... you are a man of mystery. One that intrigues me..."
8524    ),
8525    NewsMessage(
8526        id = -962,
8527        text = "Note: this is a private message. Do not send it in public."
8528    ),
8529    NewsMessage(
8530        id = -963,
8531        text = "When you reach Infinity you unlock a new dimension: Pandemonium Dimensions. Go to the news ticker for more information."
8532    ),
8533    NewsMessage(
8534        id = -964,
8535        text = "Although the majority of players would say that the 9th dimension is not a thing, a handful of people would go and level it up in the most epic way imaginable. These people would use the power of the 9th dimension and achieve, like, 1.79e308 EP with it. No? Well, they are the exceptions to the rule.",
8536        unlocked = { PlayerProgress.eternityUnlocked() }
8537    ),
8538    NewsMessage(
8539        id = -965,
8540        text = "The story of the \"perish the thought of dying\" movement has been told before, but never quite accurately. The movement was originally organized by antievolutionists to stop the exponential growth of scientific notation, but soon spread to oppose any form of \"progress\". In its early days the movement was led by an enigmatic individual known only as \"The Great Hevipelle\". Their philosophy was simple: expand the possibilities of what is possible, and push the limits of what is tolerable."
8541    ),
8542    NewsMessage(
8543        id = -966,
8544        text = "This is the story of how the world ended. Earth was once a lush and green world. Then, some guy from outer space touched it and started growing mushrooms. He called himself Hevi. Some say Hevi was never satisfied. Some say he exploded. All we know is that Hevi is still out there expanding his reach, and we are stuck here in the void of space."
8545    ),
8546    NewsMessage(
8547        id = -967,
8548        text = "Antimatter Dimensions, the only place where you can trade real estate for virtual reality"
8549    ),
8550    NewsMessage(
8551        id = -968,
8552        text = "This page contains spoilers for Antimatter Dimensions, you've been warned."
8553    ),
8554    NewsMessage(
8555        id = -969,
8556        text = "The best thing about being a news ticker is being able to slip into the news without anyone noticing."
8557    ),
8558    NewsMessage(
8559        id = -970,
8560        text = "This paperclip maximizer is a great idea. It's probably best not to let it run its course though, since it's quite possibly the most amazing thing you've ever seen. If you've somehow survived the first phase of the paperclip dimension, you're probably wondering what it's doing in your home. Fortunately, it's super simple to fix. Just go to options, and change \"Max all\" to \"Always max all\"."
8561    ),
8562    NewsMessage(
8563        id = -971,
8564        text = "A powerful wizard chose to channel negative energy into antimatter, and now the antimatter is spilling out into the world."
8565    ),
8566    NewsMessage(
8567        id = -972,
8568        text = "A new age of ultra low-cost, ultra-fast trains has been announced by Elon Musk. Users will be able to travel from A to Z in a mere 186ms."
8569    ),
8570    NewsMessage(
8571        id = -973,
8572        text = "A group of researchers at the University of Manchester have created a 3D printer that can create any object out of thin air, including a 3D-printed replica of the Virgin Mary."
8573    ),
8574    NewsMessage(
8575        id = -974,
8576        text = "Alright, here's a new game called Antimatter Dimensions, it's like Matter Dimensions except with less stuff and more fun. It's available on Android, iOS, and web. The game is very simple: you take the 6 dimensions and the antimatter, and in the 6 dimensions you take the matter and in the matter you take the antimatter, and you play the game the same way you would any other game."
8577    ),
8578    NewsMessage(
8579        id = -975,
8580        text = "What arbitrary, subjective, meaningless number comes out of your mouth like a mercury thermometer? 1.79"
8581    ),
8582    NewsMessage(
8583        id = -976,
8584        text = "\"Word on the street is that the word \"bank\" is an anagram of \"bank\" - that makes sense but i'm not there yet\" - Slabdrill"
8585    ),
8586    NewsMessage(
8587        id = -977,
8588        text = "The 9th dimension rose up like a volcano and began raining destruction on the empty 10th dimension. The smoke and debris from the exploding 9th dimension covered the entire 9th dimension. All that is left is a smoldering crater and the remains of the 9th dimension."
8589    ),
8590    NewsMessage(
8591        id = -978,
8592        text = "Help! How do I get the dots moving in my head coordinator?"
8593    ),
8594    NewsMessage(
8595        id = -979,
8596        text = "Hi, could you please not disable the news ticker? Thank me later."
8597    ),
8598    NewsMessage(
8599        id = -980,
8600        text = "If you are suffering from low antimatter production, then worry not, friend! Our highly scientific antimatter government has recently reached the ninth dimension and will soon begin giving us the Anti-Hats as a sign of respect!"
8601    ),
8602    NewsMessage(
8603        id = -981,
8604        text = "You click the bottom left corner of the screen and a green tingle goes up your leg. It's a treat you get from scratching antimatter."
8605    ),
8606    NewsMessage(
8607        id = -982,
8608        text = "A quick note to those of you who buy into the Analytics subscription: we get a small percentage of your antimatter sales, but you do pay a small amount of money to support the research of the news ticker. It's a small price to pay for the convenience of browsing antimatter dimensions."
8609    ),
8610    NewsMessage(
8611        id = -983,
8612        text = "Why haven't we caused the antimatter stock market to crash yet?"
8613    ),
8614    NewsMessage(
8615        id = -984,
8616        text = "Even after the Heavenly Pelle put a large amount of antimatter in the pool, it hasn't produced anything. The scientist who discovered the vulnerability was last seen climbing a tree in a group of 10, with a small notebook on his lap, drinking cheese juice and watching Nothing."
8617    ),
8618    NewsMessage(
8619        id = -985,
8620        text = "One-two-three, boo-two-three, three-four-five, anti-four-five, two-three-eight, nine-fifteen, five-six-seven, eight-nine-ten, nine-ten-ten, seven-seventy-eight... All has been going fine until last night, when four of the eight neighbors start complaining about a strange glow. A odd hum runs through the neighborhood, almost like a radio static. It gets more and more intense as you drive by, until it's practically pitch black. You try to explain it to the neighbors, but they won't listen. The neighborhood is unsafe, everyone knows that. You analyze it further, everyone thinks it's just some astrophysicist's idea. Then, s---. It's explodium. There's antimatter everywhere, and it's getting worse all the time. It turns out, there's about 1e31 Planck volumes in the entire observable universe. And that's just the antimatter we're talking about. There's also dark matter, normal matter, and extra matter. You know, the kind you create with your imagination."
8621    ),
8622    NewsMessage(
8623        id = -986,
8624        text = "If you ever feel like making an antijoke, just remember that it could be pretty good."
8625    ),
8626    NewsMessage(
8627        id = -987,
8628        text = "You won't convince anyone to go to heaven, but you might get close."
8629    ),
8630    NewsMessage(
8631        id = -988,
8632        text = "BREAKING NEWS: Hevipelle, the creator of the 9th dimension, has just announced that beta will be out in 5 hours!"
8633    ),
8634    NewsMessage(
8635        id = -989,
8636        text = "The Force is with you."
8637    ),
8638    NewsMessage(
8639        id = -990,
8640        text = "What if Jesus was an anti-matter ghost?"
8641    ),
8642    NewsMessage(
8643        id = -991,
8644        text = "In the summer of 711, the Great Calamity overtook Tyria. A great void was made, and Tyria was left to rot. The armies of the known world had given up, and the void was filled with darkness. Only the might of Kajfik remained, and he rose to become the greatest God in the known world. He is said to be the one who will face the Great Calamity alone, and destroy him."
8645    ),
8646    NewsMessage(
8647        id = -992,
8648        text = "In recent news clashes, the warlocks have been gathering looters for raid boss. He loves his 5 hour looters and wants to show off his mighty weapon of choice, the 9th Dimension. As the two beasts battle, the 1st dimension holder needs to be careful as the first one might get the same as the 2nd one as well. Meanwhile, the raid ends its journey with a bang as the boss squanders the Explodium exploit by flooding the area with Explodium, which before his, was filled with Marsh Mice. Both are promptly annihilated by the boss' relentless claw attacks. It's a grueling job, but the raid stalwarts manage to grab the stalagm and push him across the opal Gondwan . With the boss dead and the warlocks not far behind, the warlocks try their hand at farming looters, but the grinding continues apace. Things are looking bleak for the warlocks, as the boss seeks to take advantage of the people's greed, and steal their weaponry, making them unable to use any remaining of their  weapons, which are made of highly-stable antimatter. The warlocks attempt to use the no fluke policy as a weapon to smite the people, but the people take to the streets, physically attacking and mentally draining the people of all mental capacity they had been holding onto. The people resort to violence, using the 9th dimension just like they use to hold people back, but the people have faith in God that he will merciful, He will bring about a kinder and gentler time where everyone can use the last drop of their power."
8649    ),
8650    NewsMessage(
8651        id = -993,
8652        text = "What if you wanted to but I told you it would be too painful for you."
8653    ),
8654    NewsMessage(
8655        id = -994,
8656        text = "how big of numbers do you have"
8657    ),
8658    NewsMessage(
8659        id = -995,
8660        text = "Just want to thank the dev team for putting so much effort into Antimatter Dimensions and the Antimatter Dimensions 2"
8661    ),
8662    NewsMessage(
8663        id = -996,
8664        text = "Hevipelle has broken the 9th wall! Get ready for everything to get pretty dark."
8665    ),
8666    NewsMessage(
8667        id = -997,
8668        text = "The intergalactic antimatter trade has been severely disrupted, trading entire galaxies for the occasional paperclip. Cargo stands are no longer used. Oddly enough, the entire dimension has become a dumping ground for discarded plastic and other useless garbage. It's almost as if the rest of the multiverse isn't producing enough good  antiparticles to feed the growing population. Unfortunately, the situation is forcing the entire multiverse to scramble to find ways to meet the growing needs of the antimatter-eating  dev, who claims to have over 1.7e308 specimens left to collect."
8669    )
8670
8671)