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1you socialist ding-dongs I don't want my
2own means of production what is what
3does any of this got to do with me
4tired of socialists telling you you're a
5bad person for participating in an
6economic system you didn't choose and
7have no control over feel like we're
8against you trying to make you feel bad
9or trying to make your life harder
10think again bozo capitalism is goofing
11up your life and here are 50 reasons why
12divided into five categories but this
13video is only 25 of them that none of
14this is going to be preachy stuff about
15all the things you're doing wrong this
16is a list of things that are hurting you
17you personally and they all depend on
18the profit motive now maybe not all of
19them apply to you but I bet some of them
20do and you ought to be mad about them
21oh let's get the easy one out of the way
22wage labor requires that you produce
23more value than you receive in return
24that is what allows your employer to
25extract profit from you you might make
26$200 worth of delicious hamburgers but
27you'll still just be pay at the minimum
28wage
29maybe you'll luck out at some point and
30get a boss who pays you the full value
31of your labor and then you know that
32won't last too long even if you had a
33hypothetically benevolent boss the very
34nature of wage labor makes you getting
35paid the full value of what you produce
36impossible any company that did it would
37go out of business under capitalism
38you're just worth whatever you're paid
39which is convenient the market just
40shook out that way all in its own sorry
41the CEO has to be rich and you have to
42be poor there's just no other way we
43could do things
44hey let me ask you a question you got a
45pension I doubt it let's take a peep
46over at this graph of pension coverage
47in Canada since the 70s you might notice
48that line is going down of course
49saying your benefits are disappearing
50presumes that you have any it up by the
51so-called sharing economy where you work
52harder but receive less in return you
53know like sharing like for example you
54share a portion of the money you make
55from your labor and and you provide all
56the equipment also and you're liable for
57any damages or anything that goes wrong
58even if you know you don't really have
59any control over it but they share with
60you a website even steven
61hey who decides when you go to work I'm
62a night owl personally I'm writing this
63at like 11:30 p.m. hello future thought
64slam how's the video going thanks for
65asking past thought slime I think it's
66going pretty good your boss your boss
67controls your schedule and you better
68hope that the time that they pick is
69convenient for you because you don't get
70to negotiate when you show up when you
71leave no skin off your nose if you have
72a pretty open schedule but not so great
73if you have kids or anything else
74happening in your life
75hey those are some nice labor rights you
76got there be a shame if something
77happened to them you know it doesn't got
78those rights
79all those formerly colonized nations
80that have had all their wealth extracted
81from them and left to languish in
82poverty if we move your job over there
83we don't got a deal with none of this
84pesky paying people a living wage or you
85know making sure they don't get poisoned
86that represents a 2% increase in profits
87for us and only a few thousand people
88have to die and it gives us a
89controlling share in their economy so it
90allows us to depress their labor rights
91as well and that way everybody loses
92except me
93hey you want a cool job hope you can
94afford to do it for free for a couple of
95years because that's the thing people
96have to do now don't worry you can
97always take enormous loans to cover the
98money that you should have been paid and
99bye-bye can't always I mean we'll have
100to listen if you want to get a really
101good job that's gonna lift you out of
102poverty then you're just gonna have to
103be rich enough to do it for free for a
104couple of years
105sorry Sandra you're not getting fired
106for being pregnant
107that's illegal for now you're being laid
108off because I don't know redundancies or
109something unquantifiable like attitude
110it doesn't matter
111that's the song and dance your boss
112might go through to fire you but they
113might just be allowed to do it for no
114reason they can't here in Ontario that's
115cool
116that doesn't effectively neuter all
117civil rights legislation
118hey if you work at Burger King what's
119the maximum amount of delicious
120hamburgers you are expected to make in a
121shift trick question they can pay you as
122little as possible and still expect you
123to work as hard as you can or else
124you'll be replaced with somebody else
125who will take that shitty deal just work
126hard and maybe one in 15 to 20 of you
127can become a manager that's six to ten
128percent that's practically a hundred
129percent anyway if you stop even for a
130second you'll be fired and you'll have a
131gap on your resume and nobody will hire
132you because you're a lazy piece of
133at least you're getting paid right oops
134they just took your money you might not
135even notice it's the most common type of
136theft about fifty billion dollars are
137stolen in the u.s. annually through wage
138theft don't worry though
139prosecutors were able to recover about
140two percent of that
141compare that to all of the robberies
142burglaries both hand burglaries and
143regular larceny Zand car thefts in 2012
144which in total was about 14 billion
145dollars all of that all of those crimes
146represent about a third of the amount
147stolen by wage theft and what's worse
148you don't really have much recourse 83%
149of people who sued their employers for
150wage theft didn't see a dime nah I'm
151kidding that's a joke that'd be
152ridiculous it's 83 percent of people who
153suit their employers for wage theft and
154won the case who never saw a dime so you
155know good luck if that happens to you
156I hope you enjoyed that al we're on the
157subway to and from work because it's
158part of your personal time you shouldn't
159get paid for that now of course the
160executives that run the company get paid
161for meetings and travel and lunch the
162average work week for salaried workers
163in the United States is 47 hours the
164cumulative total of an extra day a week
165but that's just the average 25% of those
166workers reported working up to 60 hours
167a week
168now I don't think I got to explain the
169wage gap to you there's a 50% chance
170that you're just getting 1/3 less of
171your paycheck for no reason
172maybe it's because you spend all your
173time doing extra work that we've decided
174not to value or pay you for taking care
175of the kids or the elderly useless doing
176the bulk of domestic chores waste of
177time doing a disproportionate amount of
178the administrative tasks in your
179workplace on top of the work you were
180assigned I don't see why you shouldn't
181be paid less for doing that
182just like surplus value is being
183extracted from you on your labor you're
184also paying for it on your consumer
185goods an apple doesn't cost the amount
186it costs to produce an apple it costs
187the price of producing apples plus
188whatever arbitrary amount some bean
189counter somewhere has figured out you'll
190pay
191I hate to be the one to break this to
192you but your dad was right most of the
193time the generic brands are the exact
194same thing as the name-brand and I don't
195mean that they taste the same I mean
196that like it's usually the same thing
197put into two different boxes one that
198costs more and one that costs less and a
199lot of that organic produce you pay a
200premium for is the same as the
201non-organic stuff you're just paying 20%
202more because it has a green sticker on
203it but also organic food is nonsense
204it's a marketing gimmick there are no
205health benefits here's the tip if you're
206concerned about the pesticides on your
207food you can just wash your produce
208which you are definitely already doing
209anyway so save yourself some money
210of people who work towards tricking you
211into thinking bad products are good like
212that opening food I just mentioned the
213purpose of advertising is to get you to
214want to buy stuff and you probably
215wouldn't want to buy so much stuff if
216there weren't loud glaring demands to
217buy stuff blast it into your brain
218everywhere you go watch I'll do one
219right now have you been to patreon.com
220slash thought slime you can get a little
221doodle there's even a fold of paper tool
222now advertisers are forbidden from lying
223to you
224I can't make a shitty body spray and say
225that it's gonna make women into sex
226zombies for you that's illegal
227that's false advertising I can however
228imply it all I want if I'm selling a
229tube of wax and telling people to apply
230it to their forehead and showing them a
231graphic where a heads got a red area on
232it I'm not saying that the wax tube will
233cure their headaches but they're not
234going to question that because of the
235implication head on apply directly to
236the forehead
237head on apply directly to the forehead
238hey I hope your body is the exact
239average shape because otherwise your
240clothes are gonna fit real weird hey I
241hope you like the laundry detergent with
242the abrasive artificial fragrances
243because the other kind takes up too much
244shelf space we don't we don't stock that
245hey I hope you like movies with
246superheroes in them because we don't
247make any other kind of movies anymore
248the superhero movies are the ones that
249everybody pays to see
250in the time that I have been speaking in
251this video they have released no less
252than three new iPhones and your iPhone
253will no longer receive updates because
254the newest one has three cameras so
255that's better
256don't worry you don't have to get a new
257phone just because a new one came out
258you can keep using the old one I mean
259until it gives out which it will because
260it the battery it's not gonna last
261forever
262and they are designed to keep you from
263removing the battery so if one small
264part of it breaks you will have to throw
265out the whole thing and buy a new one
266for six hundred to a thousand dollars
267every couple years
268could be worse your phone could explode
269like you could buy a phone right and one
270of the things that you want to do with
271it is you want to put it real close to
272your face because it's a telephone and
273you use it to talk to people then it
274explodes but don't worry they'll recall
275it you know after the fact if someone
276forces them to this would that was
277saying I I don't know if he caught this
278this was a bad Samsung they did that
279with their phones
280one of the biggest electronics companies
281on earth I feel like I shouldn't have to
282worry about if I buy a Samsung phone
283it's going to explode
284at my face but they they did or they
285might find out their products are
286dangerously unsafe
287and choose not to act maybe it's cheaper
288maybe they're afraid it might sour their
289reputation like the Ford Motor Company
290did when it was brought to their
291attention that the transmissions and the
292focus and Fiesta models were hella
293defective they didn't want to ruin their
294reputation as one of America's premier
295car companies founded by a Nazi
296sympathizing racist or maybe they just
297think they can pay the people are saying
298it's unsafe to not say that for decades
299you know like cigarette companies did
300good thing nobody smokes anymore
301we just vape which is healthier as far
302as you know
303ah those cool shoes I like are on
304sale there's a big ticking clock
305counting down until the sale ends oh boy
306I better buy them now or else my FOMO
307will get me hey wait a minute if I buy
308slightly more shipping's free hmm I
309better buy the extended warranty for
310these shoes in case Thea the the the
311laces break or some I don't know
312how what kind of problems shoes would
313have
314the next time you have a problem with
315your phone or internet or whatever and
316you have to call them for whatever
317reason just time them and see how long
318it takes before you get to speak to a
319person who can actually solve the
320problem usually you'll be put on hold
321because somehow all companies in the
322world are currently experiencing a
323higher than normal call volume then
324you'll get somebody whose entire job is
325to argue with you about company policy
326until inevitably you get frustrated and
327asked to escalate the call and then the
328problem is immediately fixed by the next
329person you speak to because the problem
330was always fixable it's just that the
331company knows if it wastes enough of
332your time you might give up and then it
333doesn't got to fix it and maybe you can
334save like cents on the dollar if they do
335that
336oh hey III bought a pair of shoes from
337you and I bought the extended warranty
338but the shoelaces broke so I'd like to
339get them replaced
340what do you mean the warranty doesn't
341cover the shoelaces okay fine
342the toe is also got like a hole in it
343can I get that replaced at least what do
344you mean using it with broken shoelaces
345voids the warranty what do you mean stop
346repeating everything I'm saying
347under capitalism eyeballs are going to
348devour your hello and welcome to the
349eyeball zone here in the eyeball zone we
350promote smaller lefty projects hey how
351come everything so bad how come all of
352this stuff in this video you ever wonder
353wonder what kind of ideology is
354underpinning all of it
355check out dumpster flower is sort of
356five-part sort of six-part series the
357dark side of liberalism where he walks
358you through what liberalism is and how
359it got that way
360and why that sucks now I'm a big fan of
361dumpster flowers work as anyone who
362follows me on Twitter will know and if
363you're not a ding dong you will be too
364so go subscribe to him right now or I'll
365give you a knuckle sandwich and don't
366worry gluten-free options are available
367the of a small lefty project you want
368exposed to a legion of pitiless eyeballs
369who will use you for their own
370inscrutable purposes email me no more
371than once the thought slime editor at
372gmail.com with all pertinent information
373like for example your pronouns and the
374eyeballs will find you our power is
375destroying this vessel
376we must go before this gateway is lost
377to us
378the patent for insulin was sold for $1
379in 1922 roughly $14.80 when accounting
380for inflation and I should mention this
381is all in Canadian money so it's closer
382to ten US dollars or so anyhoo the
383average cost of insulin per person was
384two thousand nine hundred dollars a year
385in the US and two thousand twelve but
386that's probably just how much it costs
387to make it's not like they're gonna just
388rip people off because they'll literally
389die without it and also by the way are
390dying without it anyway the price went
391up to about five thousand seven hundred
392dollars in 2016 a 97% increase that's
393weird
394it's weird that insulin suddenly became
395twice as expensive to produce within
396four years
397how weird but it's not extortion of
398course you don't have to pay it you
399don't have to pay for any medical costs
400you can always make the choice in the
401free market to drop dead my cup
402overfloweth with choices
403Hey look you know if real medicine is
404too expensive for you and you aren't
405willing to die don't worry you have
406other options you can always buy fake
407medicine that'll do nothing from
408fraudsters try shoving a jade egg up
409your cooch that'll cure I don't know
410gingivitis toxins whatever
411have you considered drinking bleach that
412will only kill you a little bit but it
413also has no medical benefits but that
414doesn't stop people from trying to
415convince you to put it in your mouth
416okay the fake medicine that's not a
417great option either
418how about preventive medicine just
419change your diet eat loads of vitamin C
420wait did I say eat loads of vitamin C I
421meant cut out dietary fat wait did I say
422cut out dietary fat oops
423turns out you need that to live what I
424meant to say was you want you want to
425cut out cholesterol all cholesterol wait
426did I say all cholesterol
427I meant bad cholesterol and what you
428should actually cut out is carbohydrates
429sorry did I say carbohydrates I meant
430everything a caveman didn't eat you
431should only eat the things that cavemen
432would eat in fact you know what just to
433be safe only eat beef with maybe some
434tumeric and pepper just beef only beef
435that's the only thing you're allowed to
436eat from now on and no matter what you
437do if you take nothing away from this
438please only eat it between the hours of
43912 and 8 p.m.
440otherwise you will turn into a gremlin
441if you'd like to know more I'll sell you
442a bunch of books about it and the
443training regimen and I'll go on the
444doctors and they'll tell you it's a good
445idea and that has nothing to do with the
446fact that my books publisher and the
447doctors Network are owned by the same
448parent company
449but look if you're only eating beef for
450no more than eight hours a day you're
451gonna lose a few organs you might want
452to take some supplements to get the
453vitamins you should have been eating did
454you know that there's virtually no
455regulation over the supplement industry
456and even when the supplements they're
457selling you actually do anything
458there's nobody checking to make sure
459that the bottle you bought even contains
460those supplements and it doesn't contain
461like sawdust or rat feces
462you know with all this misinformation
463about food and dieting out there it's
464just like who can keep up with it don't
465worry about it you don't got to worry so
466much about your health you know your
467bodies your body it's you fine you're
468probably fine one small thing though
469there are multi-billion dollar
470industries that profit directly off of
471making you feel shitty about your
472appearance cosmetic companies plastic
473surgeons gyms all weight loss companies
474but hey maybe you're healthy and
475good-looking as in fact I
476personally think you are you'll never
477know it though because fashion magazines
478in Hollywood create completely
479unrealistic and sometimes quite
480literally impossible beauty standards
481for you to compare yourself to you'll
482feel like you're not enough and you'll
483drive yourself bonkers trying to deal
484with all your insecurities over things
485nobody else even notices you'll probably
486never actually look the way you want to
487look because the way you want to look is
488based on a thousand magazines
489airbrushing all of the blemishes or
490wrinkles and imperfections from already
491one in a million most attractive people
492now I'm not saying that your self-esteem
493should be based on your appearance but I
494can make a lot of money if it is so
495please let it be before I get to number
49626 you'll have to excuse me I'm being
497hailed mr. Charlie on screen hello
498thought slime it's me your evil twin
499thought slime to the sequel to the
500YouTuber thought slime I've completed my
501heir to slime missile and I will launch
502it unless you give me the power crystal
503I don't think so
504I'd rather die than hand over the power
505crystal to the likes of you oh yes I was
506hoping you would say that I will enjoy
507destroying you that's why you can't
508touch me pal you might have missiles I
509got the power of Bopha both what is this
510Bopha is it powerful I want the power of
511botha put Bofur in my hands
512[Music]
513haha that dastardly thought slime - when
514will he ever learn listen you'll have to
515tune in next week to catch the thrilling
516conclusion of this list of things
517don't worry though in the meantime
518there's plenty more thought slime to go
519around check out scaredy-cats at
520youtube.com slash scaredy-cats TV
521scaredy-cats
522was taken but maybe you don't want to
523watch more videos maybe you want to pay
524for the videos you've already watched
525you can do that at patreon.com slash
526thought slime that's a good place if
527what you're into if the thing that you
528like to do is to give me money go over
529there and do that one thing to note you
530you'll see some drawings scrolling by
531those are drawings for the ten dollars
532and above patrons I am still working on
533the majority of those for October I'll
534have them for the next video it's just
535been kind of a crazy week hey you can
536catch me every Thursday 8 p.m. Eastern
537Standard Time streaming on twitch.tv
538slash thought slime those are some of
539the things I like to say at the end of
540videos I like to say those things that
541way people know things that I want them
542to know oftentimes people stop watching
543the video before they get to this part
544which I should find some solution for
545because oh boy is it hurting my
546analytics and oh boy is it perhaps
547holding me back professionally ok I love
548you goodbye
549you