wxAcDUGx

1This is no bull, although it sounds so for
2'Twas night, but there were lamps, as hath been said.
3A third's all pallid aspect offer'd more
4the traits of sleeping sorrow, and betray'd
5Through the heaved breast the dream of some far shore
6Beloved and deplored while slowly stray'd
7As night-dew, on a cypress glittering, tinges
8the black bough tear-drops through her eyes' dark fringes.
9
10A fourth as marble, statue-like and still
11Lay in a breathless, hush'd, and stony sleep
12White, cold, and pure, as looks a frozen rill
13Or the snow minaret on an Alpine steep
14Or Lot's wife done in salt, or what you will
15My similes are gather'd in a heap
16So pick and choose perhaps you 'll be content
17With a carved lady on a monument.
18
19And lo! a fifth appears and what is she?
20A lady of a 'certain age,' which means
21Certainly aged what her years might be
22I know not, never counting past their teens
23But there she slept, not quite so fair to see
24As ere that awful period intervenes
25Which lays both men and women on the shelf
26To meditate upon their sins and self.
27
28But all this time how slept, or dream'd, Dudu?
29With strict inquiry I could ne'er discover
30And scorn to add a syllable untrue
31But ere the middle watch was hardly over
32Just when the fading lamps waned dim and blue
33And phantoms hover'd, or might seem to hover
34To those who like their company, about
35the apartment, on a sudden she scream'd out
36
37And that so loudly, that upstarted all
38the Oda, in a general commotion
39Matron and maids, and those whom you may call
40Neither, came crowding like the waves of ocean
41One on the other, throughout the whole hall
42All trembling, wondering, without the least notion
43More than I have myself of what could make
44the calm Dudu so turbulently wake.
45
46But wide awake she was, and round her bed
47With floating draperies and with flying hair
48With eager eyes, and light but hurried tread
49And bosoms, arms, and ankles glancing bare
50And bright as any meteor ever bred
51By the North Pole, they sought her cause of care
52For she seem'd agitated, flush'd, and frighten'd
53Her eye dilated and her colour heighten'd.
54
55But what was strange and a strong proof how great
56A blessing is sound sleep Juanna lay
57As fast as ever husband by his mate
58In holy matrimony snores away.
59Not all the clamour broke her happy state
60Of slumber, ere they shook her, so they say
61At least, and then she, too, unclosed her eyes
62And yawn'd a good deal with discreet surprise.
63
64And now commenced a strict investigation
65Which, as all spoke at once and more than once
66Conjecturing, wondering, asking a narration
67Alike might puzzle either wit or dunce
68To answer in a very clear oration.
69Dudu had never pass'd for wanting sense
70But, being 'no orator as Brutus is,'
71Could not at first expound what was amiss.
72
73At length she said, that in a slumber sound
74She dream'd a dream, of walking in a wood
75A 'wood obscure,' like that where Dante found
76Himself in at the age when all grow good
77Life's half-way house, where dames with virtue crown'd
78Run much less risk of lovers turning rude
79And that this wood was full of pleasant fruits
80And trees of goodly growth and spreading roots
81
82And in the midst a golden apple grew
83A most prodigious pippin, but it hung
84Rather too high and distant that she threw
85Her glances on it, and then, longing, flung
86Stones and whatever she could pick up, to
87Bring down the fruit, which still perversely clung
88To its own bough, and dangled yet in sight
89But always at a most provoking height
90
91That on a sudden, when she least had hope
92It fell down of its own accord before
93Her feet that her first movement was to stoop
94And pick it up, and bite it to the core
95That just as her young lip began to ope
96Upon the golden fruit the vision bore
97A bee flew out and stung her to the heart
98And so she awoke with a great scream and start.
99
100All this she told with some confusion and
101Dismay, the usual consequence of dreams
102Of the unpleasant kind, with none at hand
103To expound their vain and visionary gleams.
104I 've known some odd ones which seem'd really plann'd
105Prophetically, or that which one deems
106A 'strange coincidence,' to use a phrase
107By which such things are settled now-a-days.
108
109the damsels, who had thoughts of some great harm
110Began, as is the consequence of fear
111To scold a little at the false alarm
112That broke for nothing on their sleeping car.
113the matron, too, was wroth to leave her warm
114Bed for the dream she had been obliged to hear
115And chafed at poor Dudu, who only sigh'd
116And said that she was sorry she had cried.
117
118'I 've heard of stories of a cock and bull
119But visions of an apple and a bee
120To take us from our natural rest, and pull
121the whole Oda from their beds at half-past three
122Would make us think the moon is at its full.
123You surely are unwell, child! we must see
124To-morrow, what his Highness's physician
125Will say to this hysteric of a vision.
126
127'And poor Juanna, too the child's first night
128Within these walls to be broke in upon
129With such a clamour! I had thought it right
130That the young stranger should not lie alone
131And, as the quietest of all, she might
132With you, Dudu, a good night's rest have known
133But now I must transfer her to the charge
134Of Lolah though her couch is not so large.'
135
136Lolah's eyes sparkled at the proposition
137But poor Dudu, with large drops in her own
138Resulting from the scolding or the vision
139Implored that present pardon might be shown
140For this first fault, and that on no condition
141She added in a soft and piteous tone
142Juanna should be taken from her, and
143Her future dreams should all be kept in hand.
144
145She promised never more to have a dream
146At least to dream so loudly as just now
147She wonder'd at herself how she could scream
148'Twas foolish, nervous, as she must allow
149A fond hallucination, and a theme
150For laughter but she felt her spirits low
151And begg'd they would excuse her she 'd get over
152This weakness in a few hours, and recover.
153
154And here Juanna kindly interposed
155And said she felt herself extremely well
156Where she then was, as her sound sleep disclosed
157When all around rang like a tocsin bell
158She did not find herself the least disposed
159To quit her gentle partner, and to dwell
160Apart from one who had no sin to show
161Save that of dreaming once 'mal-a-propos.'
162
163As thus Juanna spoke, Dudu turn'd round
164And hid her face within Juanna's breast
165Her neck alone was seen, but that was found
166the colour of a budding rose's crest.
167I can't tell why she blush'd, nor can expound
168the mystery of this rupture of their rest
169All that I know is, that the facts I state
170Are true as truth has ever been of late.
171
172And so good night to them, or, if you will
173Good morrow for the cock had crown, and light
174Began to clothe each Asiatic hill
175And the mosque crescent struggled into sight
176Of the long caravan, which in the chill
177Of dewy dawn wound slowly round each height
178That stretches to the stony belt, which girds
179Asia, where Kaff looks down upon the Kurds.
180
181With the first ray, or rather grey of morn
182Gulbeyaz rose from restlessness and pale
183As passion rises, with its bosom worn
184Array'd herself with mantle, gem, and veil.
185the nightingale that sings with the deep thorn
186Which fable places in her breast of wail
187Is lighter far of heart and voice than those
188Whose headlong passions form their proper woes.
189
190And that 's the moral of this composition
191If people would but see its real drift
192But that they will not do without suspicion
193Because all gentle readers have the gift
194Of closing 'gainst the light their orbs of vision
195While gentle writers also love to lift
196their voices 'gainst each other, which is natural
197the numbers are too great for them to flatter all.
198
199Rose the sultana from a bed of splendour
200Softer than the soft Sybarite's, who cried
201Aloud because his feelings were too tender
202To brook a ruffled rose-leaf by his side
203So beautiful that art could little mend her
204Though pale with conflicts between love and pride
205So agitated was she with her error
206She did not even look into the mirror.
207
208Also arose about the self-same time
209Perhaps a little later, her great lord
210Master of thirty kingdoms so sublime
211And of a wife by whom he was abhorr'd
212A thing of much less import in that clime
213At least to those of incomes which afford
214the filling up their whole connubial cargo
215Than where two wives are under an embargo.
216
217He did not think much on the matter, nor
218Indeed on any other as a man
219He liked to have a handsome paramour
220At hand, as one may like to have a fan
221And therefore of Circassians had good store
222As an amusement after the Divan
223Though an unusual fit of love, or duty
224Had made him lately bask in his bride's beauty.
225
226And now he rose and after due ablutions
227Exacted by the customs of the East
228And prayers and other pious evolutions
229He drank six cups of coffee at the least
230And then withdrew to hear about the Russians
231Whose victories had recently increased
232In Catherine's reign, whom glory still adores
233
234But oh, thou grand legitimate Alexander!
235Her son's son, let not this last phrase offend
236Thine ear, if it should reach and now rhymes wander
237Almost as far as Petersburgh and lend
238A dreadful impulse to each loud meander
239Of murmuring Liberty's wide waves, which blend
240their roar even with the Baltic's so you be
241Your father's son, 'tis quite enough for me.
242
243To call men love-begotten or proclaim
244their mothers as the antipodes of Timon
245That hater of mankind, would be a shame
246A libel, or whate'er you please to rhyme on
247But people's ancestors are history's game
248And if one lady's slip could leave a crime on
249All generations, I should like to know
250What pedigree the best would have to show?
251
252Had Catherine and the sultan understood
253their own true interests, which kings rarely know
254Until 'tis taught by lessons rather rude
255there was a way to end their strife, although
256Perhaps precarious, had they but thought good
257Without the aid of prince or plenipo
258She to dismiss her guards and he his haram
259And for their other matters, meet and share 'em.
260
261But as it was, his Highness had to hold
262His daily council upon ways and means
263How to encounter with this martial scold
264This modern Amazon and queen of queans
265And the perplexity could not be told
266Of all the pillars of the state, which leans
267Sometimes a little heavy on the backs
268Of those who cannot lay on a new tax.
269
270Meantime Gulbeyaz, when her king was gone
271Retired into her boudoir, a sweet place
272For love or breakfast private, pleasing, lone
273And rich with all contrivances which grace
274Those gay recesses many a precious stone
275Sparkled along its roof, and many a vase
276Of porcelain held in the fetter'd flowers
277Those captive soothers of a captive's hours.
278
279Mother of pearl, and porphyry, and marble
280Vied with each other on this costly spot
281And singing birds without were heard to warble
282And the stain'd glass which lighted this fair grot
283Varied each ray but all descriptions garble
284the true effect, and so we had better not
285Be too minute an outline is the best
286A lively reader's fancy does the rest.
287
288And here she summon'd Baba, and required
289Don Juan at his hands, and information
290Of what had pass'd since all the slaves retired
291And whether he had occupied their station
292If matters had been managed as desired
293And his disguise with due consideration
294Kept up and above all, the where and how
295He had pass'd the night, was what she wish'd to know.
296
297Baba, with some embarrassment, replied
298To this long catechism of questions, ask'd
299More easily than answer'd, that he had tried
300His best to obey in what he had been task'd
301But there seem'd something that he wish'd to hide
302Which hesitation more betray'd than mask'd
303He scratch'd his ear, the infallible resource
304To which embarrass'd people have recourse.
305
306Gulbeyaz was no model of true patience
307Nor much disposed to wait in word or deed
308She liked quick answers in all conversations
309And when she saw him stumbling like a steed
310In his replies, she puzzled him for fresh ones
311And as his speech grew still more broken-kneed
312Her cheek began to flush, her eyes to sparkle
313And her proud brow's blue veins to swell and darkle.
314
315When Baba saw these symptoms, which he knew
316To bode him no great good, he deprecated
317Her anger, and beseech'd she 'd hear him through
318He could not help the thing which he related
319then out it came at length, that to Dudu
320Juan was given in charge, as hath been stated
321But not by Baba's fault, he said, and swore on
322the holy camel's hump, besides the Koran.
323
324the chief dame of the Oda, upon whom
325the discipline of the whole haram bore
326As soon as they re-enter'd their own room
327For Baba's function stopt short at the door
328Had settled all nor could he then presume
329the aforesaid Baba just then to do more
330Without exciting such suspicion as
331Might make the matter still worse than it was.
332
333He hoped, indeed he thought, he could be sure
334Juan had not betray'd himself in fact
335'Twas certain that his conduct had been pure
336Because a foolish or imprudent act
337Would not alone have made him insecure
338But ended in his being found out and sack'd
339And thrown into the sea. Thus Baba spoke
340Of all save Dudu's dream, which was no joke.
341
342This he discreetly kept in the background
343And talk'd away and might have talk'd till now
344For any further answer that he found
345So deep an anguish wrung Gulbeyaz' brow
346Her cheek turn'd ashes, ears rung, brain whirl'd round
347As if she had received a sudden blow
348And the heart's dew of pain sprang fast and chilly
349O'er her fair front, like Morning's on a lily.
350
351Although she was not of the fainting sort
352Baba thought she would faint, but there he err'd
353It was but a convulsion, which though short
354Can never be described we all have heard
355And some of us have felt thus 'all amort,'
356When things beyond the common have occurr'd
357Gulbeyaz proved in that brief agony
358What she could ne'er express then how should I?
359
360She stood a moment as a Pythones
361Stands on her tripod, agonised, and full
362Of inspiration gather'd from distress
363When all the heart-strings like wild horses pull
364the heart asunder then, as more or lees
365their speed abated or their strength grew dull
366She sunk down on her seat by slow degrees
367And bow'd her throbbing head o'er trembling knees.
368
369Her face declined and was unseen her hair
370Fell in long tresses like the weeping willow
371Sweeping the marble underneath her chair
372Or rather sofa for it was all pillow
373A low soft ottoman, and black despair
374Stirr'd up and down her bosom like a billow
375Which rushes to some shore whose shingles check
376Its farther course, but must receive its wreck.
377
378Her head hung down, and her long hair in stooping
379Conceal'd her features better than a veil
380And one hand o'er the ottoman lay drooping
381White, waxen, and as alabaster pale
382Would that I were a painter! to be grouping
383All that a poet drags into detail
384O that my words were colours! but their tints
385May serve perhaps as outlines or slight hints.
386
387Baba, who knew by experience when to talk
388And when to hold his tongue, now held it till
389This passion might blow o'er, nor dared to balk
390Gulbeyaz' taciturn or speaking will.
391At length she rose up, and began to walk
392Slowly along the room, but silent still
393And her brow clear'd, but not her troubled eye
394the wind was down, but still the sea ran high.
395
396She stopp'd, and raised her head to speak but paused
397And then moved on again with rapid pace
398then slacken'd it, which is the march most caused
399By deep emotion you may sometimes trace
400A feeling in each footstep, as disclosed
401By Sallust in his Catiline, who, chased
402By all the demons of all passions, show'd
403their work even by the way in which he trode.
404
405Gulbeyaz stopp'd and beckon'd Baba 'Slave!
406Bring the two slaves!' she said in a low tone
407But one which Baba did not like to brave
408And yet he shudder'd, and seem'd rather prone
409To prove reluctant, and begg'd leave to crave
410Though he well knew the meaning to be shown
411What slaves her highness wish'd to indicate
412For fear of any error, like the late.
413
414'the Georgian and her paramour,' replied
415the imperial bride and added, 'Let the boat
416Be ready by the secret portal's side
417You know the rest.' the words stuck in her throat
418Despite her injured love and fiery pride
419And of this Baba willingly took note
420And begg'd by every hair of Mahomet's beard
421She would revoke the order he had heard.
422
423'To hear is to obey,' he said 'but still
424Sultana, think upon the consequence
425It is not that I shall not all fulfil
426Your orders, even in their severest sense
427But such precipitation may end ill
428Even at your own imperative expense
429I do not mean destruction and exposure
430In case of any premature disclosure
431
432'But your own feelings. Even should all the rest
433Be hidden by the rolling waves, which hide
434Already many a once love-beaten breast
435Deep in the caverns of the deadly tide
436You love this boyish, new, seraglio guest
437And if this violent remedy be tried
438Excuse my freedom, when I here assure you
439That killing him is not the way to cure you.'
440
441'What dost thou know of love or feeling? Wretch!
442Begone!' she cried, with kindling eyes 'and do
443My bidding!' Baba vanish'd, for to stretch
444His own remonstrance further he well knew
445Might end in acting as his own 'Jack Ketch'
446And though he wish'd extremely to get through
447This awkward business without harm to others
448He still preferr'd his own neck to another's.
449
450Away he went then upon his commission
451Growling and grumbling in good Turkish phrase
452Against all women of whate'er condition
453Especially sultanas and their ways
454their obstinacy, pride, and indecision
455their never knowing their own mind two days
456the trouble that they gave, their immorality
457Which made him daily bless his own neutrality.
458
459And then he call'd his brethren to his aid
460And sent one on a summons to the pair
461That they must instantly be well array'd
462And above all be comb'd even to a hair
463And brought before the empress, who had made
464Inquiries after them with kindest care
465At which Dudu look'd strange, and Juan silly
466But go they must at once, and will I nill I.
467
468And here I leave them at their preparation
469For the imperial presence, wherein whether
470Gulbeyaz show'd them both commiseration
471Or got rid of the parties altogether
472Like other angry ladies of her nation
473Are things the turning of a hair or feather
474May settle but far be 't from me to anticipate
475In what way feminine caprice may dissipate.
476
477I leave them for the present with good wishes
478Though doubts of their well doing, to arrange
479Another part of history for the dishes
480Of this our banquet we must sometimes change
481And trusting Juan may escape the fishes
482Although his situation now seems strange
483And scarce secure, as such digressions are fair
484the Muse will take a little touch at warfare.
485
486O Love! O Glory! what are ye who fly
487Around us ever, rarely to alight?
488there 's not a meteor in the polar sky
489Of such transcendent and more fleeting flight.
490Chill, and chain'd to cold earth, we lift on high
491Our eyes in search of either lovely light
492A thousand and a thousand colours they
493Assume, then leave us on our freezing way.
494
495And such as they are, such my present tale is
496A non-descript and ever-varying rhyme
497A versified Aurora Borealis
498Which flashes o'er a waste and icy clime.
499When we know what all are, we must bewail us
500But ne'ertheless I hope it is no crime
501To laugh at all things for I wish to know
502What, after all, are all things but a show?
503
504they accuse me Me the present writer of
505the present poem of I know not what
506A tendency to under-rate and scoff
507At human power and virtue, and all that
508And this they say in language rather rough.
509Good God! I wonder what they would be at!
510I say no more than hath been said in Dante's
511Verse, and by Solomon and by Cervantes
512
513By Swift, by Machiavel, by Rochefoucault
514By Fenelon, by Luther, and by Plato
515By Tillotson, and Wesley, and Rousseau
516Who knew this life was not worth a potato.
517'T is not their fault, nor mine, if this be so
518For my part, I pretend not to be Cato
519Nor even Diogenes. We live and die
520But which is best, you know no more than I.
521
522Socrates said, our only knowledge was
523'To know that nothing could be known' a pleasant
524Science enough, which levels to an ass
525Each man of wisdom, future, past, or present.
526Newton that proverb of the mind, alas!
527Declared, with all his grand discoveries recent
528That he himself felt only 'like a youth
529Picking up shells by the great ocean Truth.'
530
531Ecclesiastes said, 'that all is vanity'
532Most modern preachers say the same, or show it
533By their examples of true Christianity
534In short, all know, or very soon may know it
535And in this scene of all-confess'd inanity
536By saint, by sage, by preacher, and by poet
537Must I restrain me, through the fear of strife
538From holding up the nothingness of life?
539
540Dogs, or men! for I flatter you in saying
541That ye are dogs your betters far ye may
542Read, or read not, what I am now essaying
543To show ye what ye are in every way.
544As little as the moon stops for the baying
545Of wolves, will the bright muse withdraw one ray
546From out her skies then howl your idle wrath!
547While she still silvers o'er your gloomy path.
548
549'Fierce loves and faithless wars' I am not sure
550If this be the right reading 't is no matter
551the fact 's about the same, I am secure
552I sing them both, and am about to batter
553A town which did a famous siege endure
554And was beleaguer'd both by land and water
555By Souvaroff, or Anglice Suwarrow
556Who loved blood as an alderman loves marrow.
557
558the fortress is call'd Ismail, and is placed
559Upon the Danube's left branch and left bank
560With buildings in the Oriental taste
561But still a fortress of the foremost rank
562Or was at least, unless 't is since defaced
563Which with your conquerors is a common prank
564It stands some eighty versts from the high sea
565And measures round of toises thousands three.
566
567Within the extent of this fortification
568A borough is comprised along the height
569Upon the left, which from its loftier station
570Commands the city, and upon its site
571A Greek had raised around this elevation
572A quantity of palisades upright
573So placed as to impede the fire of those
574Who held the place, and to assist the foe's.
575
576This circumstance may serve to give a notion
577Of the high talents of this new Vauban
578But the town ditch below was deep as ocean
579the rampart higher than you 'd wish to hang
580But then there was a great want of precaution
581Prithee, excuse this engineering slang
582Nor work advanced, nor cover'd way was there
583To hint at least 'Here is no thoroughfare.'
584
585But a stone bastion, with a narrow gorge
586And walls as thick as most skulls born as yet
587Two batteries, cap-a-pie, as our St. George
588Case-mated one, and t' other 'a barbette,'
589Of Danube's bank took formidable charge
590While two and twenty cannon duly set
591Rose over the town's right side, in bristling tier
592Forty feet high, upon a cavalier.
593
594But from the river the town 's open quite
595Because the Turks could never be persuaded
596A Russian vessel e'er would heave in sight
597And such their creed was, till they were invaded
598When it grew rather late to set things right.
599But as the Danube could not well be waded
600they look'd upon the Muscovite flotilla
601And only shouted, 'Allah!' and 'Bis Millah!'
602
603the Russians now were ready to attack
604But oh, ye goddesses of war and glory!
605How shall I spell the name of each Cossacque
606Who were immortal, could one tell their story?
607Alas! what to their memory can lack?
608Achilles' self was not more grim and gory
609Than thousands of this new and polish'd nation
610Whose names want nothing but pronunciation.
611
612Still I 'll record a few, if but to increase
613Our euphony there was Strongenoff, and Strokonoff
614Meknop, Serge Lwow, Arsniew of modern Greece
615And Tschitsshakoff, and Roguenoff, and Chokenoff
616And others of twelve consonants apiece
617And more might be found out, if I could poke enough
618Into gazettes but Fame capricious strumpet
619It seems, has got an ear as well as trumpet
620
621And cannot tune those discords of narration
622Which may be names at Moscow, into rhyme
623Yet there were several worth commemoration
624As e'er was virgin of a nuptial chime
625Soft words, too, fitted for the peroration
626Of Londonderry drawling against time
627Ending in 'ischskin,' 'ousckin,' 'iffskchy,' 'ouski
628Of whom we can insert but Rousamouski
629
630Scherematoff and Chrematoff, Koklophti
631Koclobski, Kourakin, and Mouskin Pouskin
632All proper men of weapons, as e'er scoff'd high
633Against a foe, or ran a sabre through skin
634Little cared they for Mahomet or Mufti
635Unless to make their kettle-drums a new skin
636Out of their hides, if parchment had grown dear
637And no more handy substitute been near.
638
639then there were foreigners of much renown
640Of various nations, and all volunteers
641Not fighting for their country or its crown
642But wishing to be one day brigadiers
643Also to have the sacking of a town
644A pleasant thing to young men at their years.
645'Mongst them were several Englishmen of pith
646Sixteen call'd Thomson, and nineteen named Smith.
647
648Jack Thomson and Bill Thomson all the rest
649Had been call'd 'Jemmy,' after the great bard
650I don't know whether they had arms or crest
651But such a godfather 's as good a card.
652Three of the Smiths were Peters but the best
653Amongst them all, hard blows to inflict or ward
654Was he, since so renown'd 'in country quarters
655At Halifax' but now he served the Tartars.
656
657the rest were jacks and Gills and Wills and Bills
658But when I 've added that the elder jack Smith
659Was born in Cumberland among the hills
660And that his father was an honest blacksmith
661I 've said all I know of a name that fills
662Three lines of the despatch in taking 'Schmacksmith,'
663A village of Moldavia's waste, wherein
664He fell, immortal in a bulletin.
665
666I wonder although Mars no doubt 's a god
667Praise if a man's name in a bulletin
668May make up for a bullet in his body?
669I hope this little question is no sin
670Because, though I am but a simple noddy
671I think one Shakspeare puts the same thought in
672the mouth of some one in his plays so doting
673Which many people pass for wits by quoting.
674
675then there were Frenchmen, gallant, young, and gay
676But I 'm too great a patriot to record
677their Gallic names upon a glorious day
678I 'd rather tell ten lies than say a word
679Of truth such truths are treason they betray
680their country and as traitors are abhorr'd
681Who name the French in English, save to show
682How Peace should make John Bull the Frenchman's foe.
683
684the Russians, having built two batteries on
685An isle near Ismail, had two ends in view
686the first was to bombard it, and knock down
687the public buildings and the private too
688No matter what poor souls might be undone.
689the city's shape suggested this, 't is true
690Form'd like an amphitheatre, each dwelling
691Presented a fine mark to throw a shell in.
692
693the second object was to profit by
694the moment of the general consternation
695To attack the Turk's flotilla, which lay nigh
696Extremely tranquil, anchor'd at its station
697But a third motive was as probably
698To frighten them into capitulation
699A phantasy which sometimes seizes warriors
700Unless they are game as bull-dogs and fox-terriers.
701
702A habit rather blamable, which is
703That of despising those we combat with
704Common in many cases, was in this
705the cause of killing Tchitchitzkoff and Smith
706One of the valorous 'Smiths' whom we shall miss
707Out of those nineteen who late rhymed to 'pith'
708But 't is a name so spread o'er 'Sir' and 'Madam,'
709That one would think the first who bore it 'Adam.'
710
711the Russian batteries were incomplete
712Because they were constructed in a hurry
713Thus the same cause which makes a verse want feet
714And throws a cloud o'er Longman and John Murray
715When the sale of new books is not so fleet
716As they who print them think is necessary
717May likewise put off for a time what story
718Sometimes calls 'murder,' and at others 'glory.'
719
720Whether it was their engineer's stupidity
721their haste, or waste, I neither know nor care
722Or some contractor's personal cupidity
723Saving his soul by cheating in the ware
724Of homicide, but there was no solidity
725In the new batteries erected there
726they either miss'd, or they were never miss'd
727And added greatly to the missing list.
728
729A sad miscalculation about distance
730Made all their naval matters incorrect
731Three fireships lost their amiable existence
732Before they reach'd a spot to take effect
733the match was lit too soon, and no assistance
734Could remedy this lubberly defect
735they blew up in the middle of the river
736While, though 't was dawn, the Turks slept fast as ever.
737
738At seven they rose, however, and survey'd
739the Russ flotilla getting under way
740'T was nine, when still advancing undismay'd
741Within a cable's length their vessels lay
742Off Ismail, and commenced a cannonade
743Which was return'd with interest, I may say
744And by a fire of musketry and grape
745And shells and shot of every size and shape.
746
747For six hours bore they without intermission
748the Turkish fire, and aided by their own
749Land batteries, work'd their guns with great precision
750At length they found mere cannonade alone
751By no means would produce the town's submission
752And made a signal to retreat at one.
753One bark blew up, a second near the works
754Running aground, was taken by the Turks.
755
756the Moslem, too, had lost both ships and men
757But when they saw the enemy retire
758their Delhis mann'd some boats, and sail'd again
759And gall'd the Russians with a heavy fire
760And tried to make a landing on the main
761But here the effect fell short of their desire
762Count Damas drove them back into the water
763Pell-mell, and with a whole gazette of slaughter.
764
765'If' says the historian here 'I could report
766All that the Russians did upon this day
767I think that several volumes would fall short
768And I should still have many things to say'
769And so he says no more but pays his court
770To some distinguish'd strangers in that fray
771the Prince de Ligne, and Langeron, and Damas
772Names great as any that the roll of Fame has.
773
774This being the case, may show us what Fame is
775For out of these three 'preux Chevaliers,' how
776Many of common readers give a guess
777That such existed? and they may live now
778For aught we know. Renown 's all hit or miss
779there 's fortune even in fame, we must allow.
780'T is true the Memoirs of the Prince de Ligne
781Have half withdrawn from him oblivion's screen.
782
783But here are men who fought in gallant actions
784As gallantly as ever heroes fought
785But buried in the heap of such transactions
786their names are rarely found, nor often sought.
787Thus even good fame may suffer sad contractions
788And is extinguish'd sooner than she ought
789Of all our modern battles, I will bet
790You can't repeat nine names from each Gazette.
791
792In short, this last attack, though rich in glory
793Show'd that somewhere, somehow, there was a fault
794And Admiral Ribas known in Russian story
795Most strongly recommended an assault
796In which he was opposed by young and hoary
797Which made a long debate but I must halt
798For if I wrote down every warrior's speech
799I doubt few readers e'er would mount the breach.
800
801there was a man, if that he was a man
802Not that his manhood could be call'd in question
803For had he not been Hercules, his span
804Had been as short in youth as indigestion
805Made his last illness, when, all worn and wan
806He died beneath a tree, as much unblest on
807the soil of the green province he had wasted
808As e'er was locust on the land it blasted.
809
810This was Potemkin a great thing in days
811When homicide and harlotry made great
812If stars and titles could entail long praise
813His glory might half equal his estate.
814This fellow, being six foot high, could raise
815A kind of phantasy proportionate
816In the then sovereign of the Russian people
817Who measured men as you would do a steeple.
818
819While things were in abeyance, Ribas sent
820A courier to the prince, and he succeeded
821In ordering matters after his own bent
822I cannot tell the way in which he pleaded
823But shortly he had cause to be content.
824In the mean time, the batteries proceeded
825And fourscore cannon on the Danube's border
826Were briskly fired and answer'd in due order.
827
828But on the thirteenth, when already part
829Of the troops were embark'd, the siege to raise
830A courier on the spur inspired new heart
831Into all panters for newspaper praise
832As well as dilettanti in war's art
833By his despatches couch'd in pithy phrase
834Announcing the appointment of that lover of
835Battles to the command, Field-Marshal Souvaroff.
836
837the letter of the prince to the same marshal
838Was worthy of a Spartan, had the cause
839Been one to which a good heart could be partial
840Defence of freedom, country, or of laws
841But as it was mere lust of power to o'er-arch all
842With its proud brow, it merits slight applause
843Save for its style, which said, all in a trice
844'You will take Ismail at whatever price.'
845
846'Let there be light! said God, and there was light!'
847'Let there be blood!' says man, and there 's a seal
848the fiat of this spoil'd child of the Night
849For Day ne'er saw his merits could decree
850More evil in an hour, than thirty bright
851Summers could renovate, though they should be
852Lovely as those which ripen'd Eden's fruit
853For war cuts up not only branch, but root.
854
855Our friends the Turks, who with loud 'Allahs' now
856Began to signalise the Russ retreat
857Were damnably mistaken few are slow
858In thinking that their enemy is beat
859Or beaten, if you insist on grammar, though
860I never think about it in a heat
861But here I say the Turks were much mistaken
862Who hating hogs, yet wish'd to save their bacon.
863
864For, on the sixteenth, at full gallop, drew
865In sight two horsemen, who were deem'd Cossacques
866For some time, till they came in nearer view.
867they had but little baggage at their backs
868For there were but three shirts between the two
869But on they rode upon two Ukraine hacks
870Till, in approaching, were at length descried
871In this plain pair, Suwarrow and his guide.
872
873'Great joy to London now!' says some great fool
874When London had a grand illumination
875Which to that bottle-conjurer, John Bull
876Is of all dreams the first hallucination
877So that the streets of colour'd lamps are full
878That Sage said john surrenders at discretion
879His purse, his soul, his sense, and even his nonsense
880To gratify, like a huge moth, this one sense.
881
882'T is strange that he should farther 'damn his eyes,'
883For they are damn'd that once all-famous oath
884Is to the devil now no farther prize
885Since John has lately lost the use of both.
886Debt he calls wealth, and taxes Paradise
887And Famine, with her gaunt and bony growth
888Which stare him in the face, he won't examine
889Or swears that Ceres hath begotten Famine.
890
891But to the tale great joy unto the camp!
892To Russian, Tartar, English, French, Cossacque
893O'er whom Suwarrow shone like a gas lamp
894Presaging a most luminous attack
895Or like a wisp along the marsh so damp
896Which leads beholders on a boggy walk
897He flitted to and fro a dancing light
898Which all who saw it follow'd, wrong or right.
899
900But certes matters took a different face
901there was enthusiasm and much applause
902the fleet and camp saluted with great grace
903And all presaged good fortune to their cause.
904Within a cannon-shot length of the place
905they drew, constructed ladders, repair'd flaws
906In former works, made new, prepared fascines
907And all kinds of benevolent machines.
908
909'T is thus the spirit of a single mind
910Makes that of multitudes take one direction
911As roll the waters to the breathing wind
912Or roams the herd beneath the bull's protection
913Or as a little dog will lead the blind
914Or a bell-wether form the flock's connection
915By tinkling sounds, when they go forth to victual
916Such is the sway of your great men o'er little.
917
918the whole camp rung with joy you would have thought
919That they were going to a marriage feast
920This metaphor, I think, holds good as aught
921Since there is discord after both at least
922there was not now a luggage boy but sought
923Danger and spoil with ardour much increased
924And why? because a little odd old man
925Stript to his shirt, was come to lead the van.
926
927But so it was and every preparation
928Was made with all alacrity the first
929Detachment of three columns took its station
930And waited but the signal's voice to burst
931Upon the foe the second's ordination
932Was also in three columns, with a thirst
933For glory gaping o'er a sea of slaughter
934the third, in columns two, attack'd by water.
935
936New batteries were erected, and was held
937A general council, in which unanimity
938That stranger to most councils, here prevail'd
939As sometimes happens in a great extremity
940And every difficulty being dispell'd
941Glory began to dawn with due sublimity
942While Souvaroff, determined to obtain it
943Was teaching his recruits to use the bayonet
944
945It is an actual fact, that he, commander
946In chief, in proper person deign'd to drill
947the awkward squad, and could afford to squander
948His time, a corporal's duty to fulfil
949Just as you 'd break a sucking salamander
950To swallow flame, and never take it ill
951He show'd them how to mount a ladder which
952Was not like Jacob's or to cross a ditch.
953
954Also he dress'd up, for the nonce, fascines
955Like men with turbans, scimitars, and dirks
956And made them charge with bayonet these machines
957By way of lesson against actual Turks
958And when well practised in these mimic scenes
959He judged them proper to assail the works
960At which your wise men sneer'd in phrases witty
961He made no answer but he took the city.
962
963Most things were in this posture on the eve
964Of the assault, and all the camp was in
965A stern repose which you would scarce conceive
966Yet men resolved to dash through thick and thin
967Are very silent when they once believe
968That all is settled there was little din
969For some were thinking of their home and friends
970And others of themselves and latter ends.
971
972Suwarrow chiefly was on the alert
973Surveying, drilling, ordering, jesting, pondering
974For the man was, we safely may assert
975A thing to wonder at beyond most wondering
976Hero, buffoon, half-demon, and half-dirt
977Praying, instructing, desolating, plundering
978Now Mars, now Momus and when bent to storm
979A fortress, Harlequin in uniform.
980
981the day before the assault, while upon drill
982For this great conqueror play'd the corporal
983Some Cossacques, hovering like hawks round a hill
984Had met a party towards the twilight's fall
985One of whom spoke their tongue or well or ill
986'T was much that he was understood at all
987But whether from his voice, or speech, or manner
988they found that he had fought beneath their banner.
989
990Whereon immediately at his request
991they brought him and his comrades to head-quarters
992their dress was Moslem, but you might have guess'd
993That these were merely masquerading Tartars
994And that beneath each Turkish-fashion'd vest
995Lurk'd Christianity which sometimes barters
996Her inward grace for outward show, and makes
997It difficult to shun some strange mistakes.
998
999Suwarrow, who was standing in his shirt
1000Before a company of Calmucks, drilling
1001Exclaiming, fooling, swearing at the inert
1002And lecturing on the noble art of killing
1003For deeming human clay but common dirt
1004This great philosopher was thus instilling
1005His maxims, which to martial comprehension
1006Proved death in battle equal to a pension
1007
1008Suwarrow, when he saw this company
1009Of Cossacques and their prey, turn'd round and cast
1010Upon them his slow brow and piercing eye
1011'Whence come ye?' 'From Constantinople last
1012Captives just now escaped,' was the reply.
1013'What are ye?' 'What you see us.' Briefly pass'd
1014This dialogue for he who answer'd knew
1015To whom he spoke, and made his words but few.
1016
1017'Your names?' 'Mine 's Johnson, and my comrade 's Juan
1018the other two are women, and the third
1019Is neither man nor woman.' the chief threw on
1020the party a slight glance, then said, 'I have heard
1021Your name before, the second is a new one
1022To bring the other three here was absurd
1023But let that pass I think I have heard your name
1024In the Nikolaiew regiment?' 'the same.'
1025
1026'You served at Widdin?' 'Yes.' 'You led the attack?'
1027'I did.' 'What next?' 'I really hardly know.'
1028'You were the first i' the breach?' 'I was not slack
1029At least to follow those who might be so.'
1030'What follow'd?' 'A shot laid me on my back
1031And I became a prisoner to the foe.'
1032'You shall have vengeance, for the town surrounded
1033Is twice as strong as that where you were wounded.
1034
1035'Where will you serve?' 'Where'er you please.' 'I know
1036You like to be the hope of the forlorn
1037And doubtless would be foremost on the foe
1038After the hardships you 've already borne.
1039And this young fellow say what can he do?
1040He with the beardless chin and garments torn?'
1041'Why, general, if he hath no greater fault
1042In war than love, he had better lead the assault.'
1043
1044'He shall if that he dare.' Here Juan bow'd
1045Low as the compliment deserved. Suwarrow
1046Continued 'Your old regiment's allow'd
1047By special providence, to lead to-morrow
1048Or it may be to-night, the assault I have vow'd
1049To several saints, that shortly plough or harrow
1050Shall pass o'er what was Ismail, and its tusk
1051Be unimpeded by the proudest mosque.
1052
1053'So now, my lads, for glory!' Here he turn'd
1054And drill'd away in the most classic Russian
1055Until each high, heroic bosom burn'd
1056For cash and conquest, as if from a cushion
1057A preacher had held forth who nobly spurn'd
1058All earthly goods save tithes and bade them push on
1059To slay the Pagans who resisted, battering
1060the armies of the Christian Empress Catherine.
1061
1062Johnson, who knew by this long colloquy
1063Himself a favourite, ventured to address
1064Suwarrow, though engaged with accents high
1065In his resumed amusement. 'I confess
1066My debt in being thus allow'd to die
1067Among the foremost but if you 'd express
1068Explicitly our several posts, my friend
1069And self would know what duty to attend.'
1070
1071'Right! I was busy, and forgot. Why, you
1072Will join your former regiment, which should be
1073Now under arms. Ho! Katskoff, take him to
1074Here he call'd up a Polish orderly
1075His post, I mean the regiment Nikolaiew
1076the stranger stripling may remain with me
1077He 's a fine boy. the women may be sent
1078To the other baggage, or to the sick tent.'
1079
1080But here a sort of scene began to ensue
1081the ladies, who by no means had been bred
1082To be disposed of in a way so new
1083Although their haram education led
1084Doubtless to that of doctrines the most true
1085Passive obedience, now raised up the head
1086With flashing eyes and starting tears, and flung
1087their arms, as hens their wings about their young
1088
1089O'er the promoted couple of brave men
1090Who were thus honour'd by the greatest chief
1091That ever peopled hell with heroes slain
1092Or plunged a province or a realm in grief.
1093O, foolish mortals! Always taught in vain!
1094O, glorious laurel! since for one sole leaf
1095Of thine imaginary deathless tree
1096Of blood and tears must flow the unebbing sea.
1097
1098Suwarrow, who had small regard for tears
1099And not much sympathy for blood, survey'd
1100the women with their hair about their ears
1101And natural agonies, with a slight shade
1102Of feeling for however habit sears
1103Men's hearts against whole millions, when their trade
1104Is butchery, sometimes a single sorrow
1105Will touch even heroes and such was Suwarrow.
1106
1107He said, and in the kindest Calmuck tone
1108'Why, Johnson, what the devil do you mean
1109By bringing women here? they shall be shown
1110All the attention possible, and seen
1111In safety to the waggons, where alone
1112In fact they can be safe. You should have been
1113Aware this kind of baggage never thrives
1114Save wed a year, I hate recruits with wives.'
1115
1116'May it please your excellency,' thus replied
1117Our British friend, 'these are the wives of others
1118And not our own. I am too qualified
1119By service with my military brothers
1120To break the rules by bringing one's own bride
1121Into a camp I know that nought so bothers
1122the hearts of the heroic on a charge
1123As leaving a small family at large.
1124
1125'But these are but two Turkish ladies, who
1126With their attendant aided our escape
1127And afterwards accompanied us through
1128A thousand perils in this dubious shape.
1129To me this kind of life is not so new
1130To them, poor things, it is an awkward scrape.
1131I therefore, if you wish me to fight freely
1132Request that they may both be used genteelly.'
1133
1134Meantime these two poor girls, with swimming eyes
1135Look'd on as if in doubt if they could trust
1136their own protectors nor was their surprise
1137Less than their grief and truly not less just
1138To see an old man, rather wild than wise
1139In aspect, plainly clad, besmear'd with dust
1140Stript to his waistcoat, and that not too clean
1141More fear'd than all the sultans ever seen.
1142
1143For every thing seem'd resting on his nod
1144As they could read in all eyes. Now to them
1145Who were accustom'd, as a sort of god
1146To see the sultan, rich in many a gem
1147Like an imperial peacock stalk abroad
1148That royal bird, whose tail 's a diadem
1149With all the pomp of power, it was a doubt
1150How power could condescend to do without.
1151
1152John Johnson, seeing their extreme dismay
1153Though little versed in feelings oriental
1154Suggested some slight comfort in his way
1155Don Juan, who was much more sentimental
1156Swore they should see him by the dawn of day
1157Or that the Russian army should repent all
1158And, strange to say, they found some consolation
1159In this for females like exaggeration.
1160
1161And then with tears, and sighs, and some slight kisses
1162they parted for the present these to await
1163According to the artillery's hits or misses
1164What sages call Chance, Providence, or Fate
1165Uncertainty is one of many blisses
1166A mortgage on Humanity's estate
1167While their beloved friends began to arm
1168To burn a town which never did them harm.
1169
1170Suwarrow, who but saw things in the gross
1171Being much too gross to see them in detail
1172Who calculated life as so much dross
1173And as the wind a widow'd nation's wail
1174And cared as little for his army's loss
1175So that their efforts should at length prevail
1176As wife and friends did for the boils of job
1177What was 't to him to hear two women sob?
1178
1179Nothing. the work of glory still went on
1180In preparations for a cannonade
1181As terrible as that of Ilion
1182If Homer had found mortars ready made
1183But now, instead of slaying Priam's son
1184We only can but talk of escalade
1185Bombs, drums, guns, bastions, batteries, bayonets, bullets
1186Hard words, which stick in the soft Muses' gullets.
1187
1188O, thou eternal Homer! who couldst charm
1189All cars, though long all ages, though so short
1190By merely wielding with poetic arm
1191Arms to which men will never more resort
1192Unless gunpowder should be found to harm
1193Much less than is the hope of every court
1194Which now is leagued young Freedom to annoy
1195But they will not find Liberty a Troy
1196
1197O, thou eternal Homer! I have now
1198To paint a siege, wherein more men were slain
1199With deadlier engines and a speedier blow
1200Than in thy Greek gazette of that campaign
1201And yet, like all men else, I must allow
1202To vie with thee would be about as vain
1203As for a brook to cope with ocean's flood
1204But still we moderns equal you in blood
1205
1206If not in poetry, at least in fact
1207And fact is truth, the grand desideratum!
1208Of which, howe'er the Muse describes each act
1209there should be ne'ertheless a slight substratum.
1210But now the town is going to be attack'd
1211Great deeds are doing how shall I relate 'em?
1212Souls of immortal generals! Phoebus watches
1213To colour up his rays from your despatches.
1214
1215O, ye great bulletins of Bonaparte!
1216O, ye less grand long lists of kill'd and wounded!
1217Shade of Leonidas, who fought so hearty
1218When my poor Greece was once, as now, surrounded!
1219O, Caesar's Commentaries! now impart, ye
1220Shadows of glory! lest I be confounded
1221A portion of your fading twilight hues
1222So beautiful, so fleeting, to the Muse.
1223
1224When I call 'fading' martial immortality
1225I mean, that every age and every year
1226And almost every day, in sad reality
1227Some sucking hero is compell'd to rear
1228Who, when we come to sum up the totality
1229Of deeds to human happiness most dear
1230Turns out to be a butcher in great business
1231Afflicting young folks with a sort of dizziness.
1232
1233Medals, rank, ribands, lace, embroidery, scarlet
1234Are things immortal to immortal man
1235As purple to the Babylonian harlot
1236An uniform to boys is like a fan
1237To women there is scarce a crimson varlet
1238But deems himself the first in Glory's van.
1239But Glory's glory and if you would find
1240What that is ask the pig who sees the wind!
1241
1242At least he feels it, and some say he sees
1243Because he runs before it like a pig
1244Or, if that simple sentence should displease
1245Say, that he scuds before it like a brig
1246A schooner, or but it is time to ease
1247This Canto, ere my Muse perceives fatigue.
1248the next shall ring a peal to shake all people
1249Like a bob-major from a village steeple.
1250
1251Hark! through the silence of the cold, dull night
1252the hum of armies gathering rank on rank!
1253Lo! dusky masses steal in dubious sight
1254Along the leaguer'd wall and bristling bank
1255Of the arm'd river, while with straggling light
1256the stars peep through the vapours dim and dank
1257Which curl in curious wreaths how soon the smoke
1258Of Hell shall pall them in a deeper cloak!
1259
1260Here pause we for the present as even then
1261That awful pause, dividing life from death
1262Struck for an instant on the hearts of men
1263Thousands of whom were drawing their last breath!
1264A moment and all will be life again!
1265the march! the charge! the shouts of either faith!
1266Hurra! and Allah! and one moment more
1267the death-cry drowning in the battle's roar.
1268
1269O blood and thunder! and oh blood and wounds!
1270these are but vulgar oaths, as you may deem
1271Too gentle reader! and most shocking sounds
1272And so they are yet thus is Glory's dream
1273Unriddled, and as my true Muse expounds
1274At present such things, since they are her theme
1275So be they her inspirers! Call them Mars
1276Bellona, what you will they mean but wars.
1277
1278All was prepared the fire, the sword, the men
1279To wield them in their terrible array.
1280the army, like a lion from his den
1281March'd forth with nerve and sinews bent to slay
1282A human Hydra, issuing from its fen
1283To breathe destruction on its winding way
1284Whose heads were heroes, which cut off in vain
1285Immediately in others grew again.
1286
1287History can only take things in the gross
1288But could we know them in detail, perchance
1289In balancing the profit and the loss
1290War's merit it by no means might enhance
1291To waste so much gold for a little dross
1292As hath been done, mere conquest to advance.
1293the drying up a single tear has more
1294Of honest fame, than shedding seas of gore.
1295
1296And why? because it brings self-approbation
1297Whereas the other, after all its glare
1298Shouts, bridges, arches, pensions from a nation
1299Which it may be has not much left to spare
1300A higher title, or a loftier station
1301Though they may make Corruption gape or stare
1302Yet, in the end, except in Freedom's battles
1303Are nothing but a child of Murder's rattles.
1304
1305And such they are and such they will be found
1306Not so Leonidas and Washington
1307Whose every battle-field is holy ground
1308Which breathes of nations saved, not worlds undone.
1309How sweetly on the ear such echoes sound!
1310While the mere victor's may appal or stun
1311the servile and the vain, such names will be
1312A watchword till the future shall be free.
1313
1314the night was dark, and the thick mist allow'd
1315Nought to be seen save the artillery's flame
1316Which arch'd the horizon like a fiery cloud
1317And in the Danube's waters shone the same
1318A mirror'd hell! the volleying roar, and loud
1319Long booming of each peal on peal, o'ercame
1320the ear far more than thunder for Heaven's flashes
1321Spare, or smite rarely man's make millions ashes!
1322
1323the column order'd on the assault scarce pass'd
1324Beyond the Russian batteries a few toises
1325When up the bristling Moslem rose at last
1326Answering the Christian thunders with like voices
1327then one vast fire, air, earth, and stream embraced
1328Which rock'd as 't were beneath the mighty noises
1329While the whole rampart blazed like Etna, when
1330the restless Titan hiccups in his den.
1331
1332And one enormous shout of 'Allah!' rose
1333In the same moment, loud as even the roar
1334Of war's most mortal engines, to their foes
1335Hurling defiance city, stream, and shore
1336Resounded 'Allah!' and the clouds which close
1337With thick'ning canopy the conflict o'er
1338Vibrate to the Eternal name. Hark! through
1339All sounds it pierceth 'Allah! Allah! Hu!'
1340
1341the columns were in movement one and all
1342But of the portion which attack'd by water
1343Thicker than leaves the lives began to fall
1344Though led by Arseniew, that great son of slaughter
1345As brave as ever faced both bomb and ball.
1346'Carnage' so Wordsworth tells you 'is God's daughter'
1347If he speak truth, she is Christ's sister, and
1348Just now behaved as in the Holy Land.
1349
1350the Prince de Ligne was wounded in the knee
1351Count Chapeau-Bras, too, had a ball between
1352His cap and head, which proves the head to be
1353Aristocratic as was ever seen
1354Because it then received no injury
1355More than the cap in fact, the ball could mean
1356No harm unto a right legitimate head
1357'Ashes to ashes' why not lead to lead?
1358
1359Also the General Markow, Brigadier
1360Insisting on removal of the prince
1361Amidst some groaning thousands dying near
1362All common fellows, who might writhe and wince
1363And shriek for water into a deaf ear
1364the General Markow, who could thus evince
1365His sympathy for rank, by the same token
1366To teach him greater, had his own leg broken.
1367
1368Three hundred cannon threw up their emetic
1369And thirty thousand muskets flung their pills
1370Like hail, to make a bloody diuretic.
1371Mortality! thou hast thy monthly bills
1372Thy plagues, thy famines, thy physicians, yet tick
1373Like the death-watch, within our ears the ills
1374Past, present, and to come but all may yield
1375To the true portrait of one battle-field.
1376
1377there the still varying pangs, which multiply
1378Until their very number makes men hard
1379By the infinities of agony
1380Which meet the gaze whate'er it may regard
1381the groan, the roll in dust, the all-white eye
1382Turn'd back within its socket, these reward
1383Your rank and file by thousands, while the rest
1384May win perhaps a riband at the breast!
1385
1386Yet I love glory glory 's a great thing
1387Think what it is to be in your old age
1388Maintain'd at the expense of your good king
1389A moderate pension shakes full many a sage
1390And heroes are but made for bards to sing
1391Which is still better thus in verse to wage
1392Your wars eternally, besides enjoying
1393Half-pay for life, make mankind worth destroying.
1394
1395the troops, already disembark'd, push'd on
1396To take a battery on the right the others
1397Who landed lower down, their landing done
1398Had set to work as briskly as their brothers
1399Being grenadiers, they mounted one by one
1400Cheerful as children climb the breasts of mothers
1401O'er the entrenchment and the palisade
1402Quite orderly, as if upon parade.
1403
1404And this was admirable for so hot
1405the fire was, that were red Vesuvius loaded
1406Besides its lava, with all sorts of shot
1407And shells or hells, it could not more have goaded.
1408Of officers a third fell on the spot
1409A thing which victory by no means boded
1410To gentlemen engaged in the assault
1411Hounds, when the huntsman tumbles, are at fault.
1412
1413But here I leave the general concern
1414To track our hero on his path of fame
1415He must his laurels separately earn
1416For fifty thousand heroes, name by name
1417Though all deserving equally to turn
1418A couplet, or an elegy to claim
1419Would form a lengthy lexicon of glory
1420And what is worse still, a much longer story
1421
1422And therefore we must give the greater number
1423To the Gazette which doubtless fairly dealt
1424By the deceased, who lie in famous slumber
1425In ditches, fields, or wheresoe'er they felt
1426their clay for the last time their souls encumber
1427Thrice happy he whose name has been well spelt
1428In the despatch I knew a man whose loss
1429Was printed Grove, although his name was Grose.
1430
1431Juan and Johnson join'd a certain corps
1432And fought away with might and main, not knowing
1433the way which they had never trod before
1434And still less guessing where they might be going
1435But on they march'd, dead bodies trampling o'er
1436Firing, and thrusting, slashing, sweating, glowing
1437But fighting thoughtlessly enough to win
1438To their two selves, one whole bright bulletin.
1439
1440Thus on they wallow'd in the bloody mire
1441Of dead and dying thousands, sometimes gaining
1442A yard or two of ground, which brought them nigher
1443To some odd angle for which all were straining
1444At other times, repulsed by the close fire
1445Which really pour'd as if all hell were raining
1446Instead of heaven, they stumbled backwards o'er
1447A wounded comrade, sprawling in his gore.
1448
1449Though 't was Don Juan's first of fields, and though
1450the nightly muster and the silent march
1451In the chill dark, when courage does not glow
1452So much as under a triumphal arch
1453Perhaps might make him shiver, yawn, or throw
1454A glance on the dull clouds as thick as starch
1455Which stiffen'd heaven as if he wish'd for day
1456Yet for all this he did not run away.
1457
1458Indeed he could not. But what if he had?
1459there have been and are heroes who begun
1460With something not much better, or as bad
1461Frederic the Great from Molwitz deign'd to run
1462For the first and last time for, like a pad
1463Or hawk, or bride, most mortals after one
1464Warm bout are broken into their new tricks
1465And fight like fiends for pay or politics.
1466
1467He was what Erin calls, in her sublime
1468Old Erse or Irish, or it may be Punic
1469the antiquarians who can settle time
1470Which settles all things, Roman, Greek, or Runic
1471Swear that Pat's language sprung from the same clime
1472With Hannibal, and wears the Tyrian tunic
1473Of Dido's alphabet and this is rational
1474As any other notion, and not national
1475
1476But Juan was quite 'a broth of a boy,'
1477A thing of impulse and a child of song
1478Now swimming in the sentiment of joy
1479Or the sensation if that phrase seem wrong
1480And afterward, if he must needs destroy
1481In such good company as always throng
1482To battles, sieges, and that kind of pleasure
1483No less delighted to employ his leisure
1484
1485But always without malice if he warr'd
1486Or loved, it was with what we call 'the best
1487Intentions,' which form all mankind's trump card
1488To be produced when brought up to the test.
1489the statesman, hero, harlot, lawyer ward
1490Off each attack, when people are in quest
1491Of their designs, by saying they meant well
1492'T is pity 'that such meaning should pave hell.'
1493
1494I almost lately have begun to doubt
1495Whether hell's pavement if it be so paved
1496Must not have latterly been quite worn out
1497Not by the numbers good intent hath saved
1498But by the mass who go below without
1499Those ancient good intentions, which once shaved
1500And smooth'd the brimstone of that street of hell
1501Which bears the greatest likeness to Pall Mall.
1502
1503Juan, by some strange chance, which oft divides
1504Warrior from warrior in their grim career
1505Like chastest wives from constant husbands' sides
1506Just at the close of the first bridal year
1507By one of those odd turns of Fortune's tides
1508Was on a sudden rather puzzled here
1509When, after a good deal of heavy firing
1510He found himself alone, and friends retiring.
1511
1512I don't know how the thing occurr'd it might
1513Be that the greater part were kill'd or wounded
1514And that the rest had faced unto the right
1515About a circumstance which has confounded
1516Caesar himself, who, in the very sight
1517Of his whole army, which so much abounded
1518In courage, was obliged to snatch a shield
1519And rally back his Romans to the field.
1520
1521Juan, who had no shield to snatch, and was
1522No Caesar, but a fine young lad, who fought
1523He knew not why, arriving at this pass
1524Stopp'd for a minute, as perhaps he ought
1525For a much longer time then, like an as
1526Start not, kind reader since great Homer thought
1527This simile enough for Ajax, Juan
1528Perhaps may find it better than a new one
1529
1530then, like an ass, he went upon his way
1531And, what was stranger, never look'd behind
1532But seeing, flashing forward, like the day
1533Over the hills, a fire enough to blind
1534Those who dislike to look upon a fray
1535He stumbled on, to try if he could find
1536A path, to add his own slight arm and forces
1537To corps, the greater part of which were corses.
1538
1539Perceiving then no more the commandant
1540Of his own corps, nor even the corps, which had
1541Quite disappear'd the gods know howl I can't
1542Account for every thing which may look bad
1543In history but we at least may grant
1544It was not marvellous that a mere lad
1545In search of glory, should look on before
1546Nor care a pinch of snuff about his corps
1547
1548Perceiving nor commander nor commanded
1549And left at large, like a young heir, to make
1550His way to where he knew not single handed
1551As travellers follow over bog and brake
1552An 'ignis fatuus' or as sailors stranded
1553Unto the nearest hut themselves betake
1554So Juan, following honour and his nose
1555Rush'd where the thickest fire announced most foes.
1556
1557He knew not where he was, nor greatly cared
1558For he was dizzy, busy, and his veins
1559Fill'd as with lightning for his spirit shared
1560the hour, as is the case with lively brains
1561And where the hottest fire was seen and heard
1562And the loud cannon peal'd his hoarsest strains
1563He rush'd, while earth and air were sadly shaken
1564By thy humane discovery, Friar Bacon!
1565
1566And as he rush'd along, it came to pass he
1567Fell in with what was late the second column
1568Under the orders of the General Lascy
1569But now reduced, as is a bulky volume
1570Into an elegant extract much less massy
1571Of heroism, and took his place with solemn
1572Air 'midst the rest, who kept their valiant faces
1573And levell'd weapons still against the glacis.
1574
1575Just at this crisis up came Johnson too
1576Who had 'retreated,' as the phrase is when
1577Men run away much rather than go through
1578Destruction's jaws into the devil's den
1579But Johnson was a clever fellow, who
1580Knew when and how 'to cut and come again,'
1581And never ran away, except when running
1582Was nothing but a valorous kind of cunning.
1583
1584And so, when all his corps were dead or dying
1585Except Don Juan, a mere novice, whose
1586More virgin valour never dreamt of flying
1587From ignorance of danger, which indues
1588Its votaries, like innocence relying
1589On its own strength, with careless nerves and thews
1590Johnson retired a little, just to rally
1591Those who catch cold in 'shadows of Death's valley.'
1592
1593And there, a little shelter'd from the shot
1594Which rain'd from bastion, battery, parapet
1595Rampart, wall, casement, house, for there was not
1596In this extensive city, sore beset
1597By Christian soldiery, a single spot
1598Which did not combat like the devil, as yet
1599He found a number of Chasseurs, all scatter'd
1600By the resistance of the chase they batter'd.
1601
1602And these he call'd on and, what 's strange, they came
1603Unto his call, unlike 'the spirits from
1604the vasty deep,' to whom you may exclaim
1605Says Hotspur, long ere they will leave their home.
1606their reasons were uncertainty, or shame
1607At shrinking from a bullet or a bomb
1608And that odd impulse, which in wars or creeds
1609Makes men, like cattle, follow him who leads.
1610
1611By Jove! he was a noble fellow, Johnson
1612And though his name, than Ajax or Achilles
1613Sounds less harmonious, underneath the sun soon
1614We shall not see his likeness he could kill his
1615Man quite as quietly as blows the monsoon
1616Her steady breath which some months the same still is
1617Seldom he varied feature, hue, or muscle
1618And could be very busy without bustle
1619
1620And therefore, when he ran away, he did so
1621Upon reflection, knowing that behind
1622He would find others who would fain be rid so
1623Of idle apprehensions, which like wind
1624Trouble heroic stomachs. Though their lids so
1625Oft are soon closed, all heroes are not blind
1626But when they light upon immediate death
1627Retire a little, merely to take breath.
1628
1629But Johnson only ran off, to return
1630With many other warriors, as we said
1631Unto that rather somewhat misty bourn
1632Which Hamlet tells us is a pass of dread.
1633To Jack howe'er this gave but slight concern
1634His soul like galvanism upon the dead
1635Acted upon the living as on wire
1636And led them back into the heaviest fire.
1637
1638Egad! they found the second time what they
1639the first time thought quite terrible enough
1640To fly from, malgre all which people say
1641Of glory, and all that immortal stuff
1642Which fills a regiment besides their pay
1643That daily shilling which makes warriors tough
1644they found on their return the self-same welcome
1645Which made some think, and others know, a hell come.
1646
1647they fell as thick as harvests beneath hail
1648Grass before scythes, or corn below the sickle
1649Proving that trite old truth, that life 's as frail
1650As any other boon for which men stickle.
1651the Turkish batteries thrash'd them like a flail
1652Or a good boxer, into a sad pickle
1653Putting the very bravest, who were knock'd
1654Upon the head, before their guns were cock'd.
1655
1656the Turks, behind the traverses and flanks
1657Of the next bastion, fired away like devils
1658And swept, as gales sweep foam away, whole ranks
1659However, Heaven knows how, the Fate who levels
1660Towns, nations, worlds, in her revolving pranks
1661So order'd it, amidst these sulphury revels
1662That Johnson and some few who had not scamper'd
1663Reach'd the interior talus of the rampart.
1664
1665First one or two, then five, six, and a dozen
1666Came mounting quickly up, for it was now
1667All neck or nothing, as, like pitch or rosin
1668Flame was shower'd forth above, as well 's below
1669So that you scarce could say who best had chosen
1670the gentlemen that were the first to show
1671their martial faces on the parapet
1672Or those who thought it brave to wait as yet.
1673
1674But those who scaled, found out that their advance
1675Was favour'd by an accident or blunder
1676the Greek or Turkish Cohorn's ignorance
1677Had palisado'd in a way you 'd wonder
1678To see in forts of Netherlands or France
1679Though these to our Gibraltar must knock under
1680Right in the middle of the parapet
1681Just named, these palisades were primly set
1682
1683So that on either side some nine or ten
1684Paces were left, whereon you could contrive
1685To march a great convenience to our men
1686At least to all those who were left alive
1687Who thus could form a line and fight again
1688And that which farther aided them to strive
1689Was, that they could kick down the palisades
1690Which scarcely rose much higher than grass blades.
1691
1692Among the first, I will not say the first
1693For such precedence upon such occasions
1694Will oftentimes make deadly quarrels burst
1695Out between friends as well as allied nations
1696the Briton must be bold who really durst
1697Put to such trial John Bull's partial patience
1698As say that Wellington at Waterloo
1699Was beaten though the Prussians say so too
1700
1701And that if Blucher, Bulow, Gneisenau
1702And God knows who besides in 'au' and 'ow,'
1703Had not come up in time to cast an awe
1704Into the hearts of those who fought till now
1705As tigers combat with an empty craw
1706the Duke of Wellington had ceased to show
1707His orders, also to receive his pensions
1708Which are the heaviest that our history mentions.
1709
1710But never mind 'God save the king!' and kings!
1711For if he don't, I doubt if men will longer
1712I think I hear a little bird, who sings
1713the people by and by will be the stronger
1714the veriest jade will wince whose harness wrings
1715So much into the raw as quite to wrong her
1716Beyond the rules of posting, and the mob
1717At last fall sick of imitating Job.
1718
1719At first it grumbles, then it swears, and then
1720Like David, flings smooth pebbles 'gainst a giant
1721At last it takes to weapons such as men
1722Snatch when despair makes human hearts less pliant.
1723then comes 'the tug of war' 't will come again
1724I rather doubt and I would fain say 'fie on 't,'
1725If I had not perceived that revolution
1726Alone can save the earth from hell's pollution.
1727
1728But to continue I say not the first
1729But of the first, our little friend Don Juan
1730Walk'd o'er the walls of Ismail, as if nursed
1731Amidst such scenes though this was quite a new one
1732To him, and I should hope to most. the thirst
1733Of glory, which so pierces through and through one
1734Pervaded him although a generous creature
1735As warm in heart as feminine in feature.
1736
1737And here he was who upon woman's breast
1738Even from a child, felt like a child howe'er
1739the man in all the rest might be confest
1740To him it was Elysium to be there
1741And he could even withstand that awkward test
1742Which Rousseau points out to the dubious fair
1743'Observe your lover when he leaves your arms'
1744But Juan never left them, while they had charms
1745
1746Unless compell'd by fate, or wave, or wind
1747Or near relations, who are much the same.
1748But here he was! where each tie that can bind
1749Humanity must yield to steel and flame
1750And he whose very body was all mind
1751Flung here by fate or circumstance, which tame
1752the loftiest, hurried by the time and place
1753Dash'd on like a spurr'd blood-horse in a race.
1754
1755So was his blood stirr'd while he found resistance
1756As is the hunter's at the five-bar gate
1757Or double post and rail, where the existence
1758Of Britain's youth depends upon their weight
1759the lightest being the safest at a distance
1760He hated cruelty, as all men hate
1761Blood, until heated and even then his own
1762At times would curdle o'er some heavy groan.
1763
1764the General Lascy, who had been hard press'd
1765Seeing arrive an aid so opportune
1766As were some hundred youngsters all abreast
1767Who came as if just dropp'd down from the moon
1768To Juan, who was nearest him, address'd
1769His thanks, and hopes to take the city soon
1770Not reckoning him to be a 'base Bezonian'
1771As Pistol calls it, but a young Livonian.
1772
1773Juan, to whom he spoke in German, knew
1774As much of German as of Sanscrit, and
1775In answer made an inclination to
1776the general who held him in command
1777For seeing one with ribands, black and blue
1778Stars, medals, and a bloody sword in hand
1779Addressing him in tones which seem'd to thank
1780He recognised an officer of rank.
1781
1782Short speeches pass between two men who speak
1783No common language and besides, in time
1784Of war and taking towns, when many a shriek
1785Rings o'er the dialogue, and many a crime
1786Is perpetrated ere a word can break
1787Upon the ear, and sounds of horror chime
1788In like church-bells, with sigh, howl, groan, yell, prayer
1789there cannot be much conversation there.
1790
1791And therefore all we have related in
1792Two long octaves, pass'd in a little minute
1793But in the same small minute, every sin
1794Contrived to get itself comprised within it.
1795the very cannon, deafen'd by the din
1796Grew dumb, for you might almost hear a linnet
1797As soon as thunder, 'midst the general noise
1798Of human nature's agonising voice!
1799
1800the town was enter'd. Oh eternity!
1801'God made the country and man made the town,'
1802So Cowper says and I begin to be
1803Of his opinion, when I see cast down
1804Rome, Babylon, Tyre, Carthage, Nineveh
1805All walls men know, and many never known
1806And pondering on the present and the past
1807To deem the woods shall be our home at last
1808
1809Of all men, saving Sylla the man-slayer
1810Who passes for in life and death most lucky
1811Of the great names which in our faces stare
1812the General Boon, back-woodsman of Kentucky
1813Was happiest amongst mortals anywhere
1814For killing nothing but a bear or buck, he
1815Enjoy'd the lonely, vigorous, harmless days
1816Of his old age in wilds of deepest maze.
1817
1818Crime came not near him she is not the child
1819Of solitude Health shrank not from him for
1820Her home is in the rarely trodden wild
1821Where if men seek her not, and death be more
1822their choice than life, forgive them, as beguiled
1823By habit to what their own hearts abhor
1824In cities caged. the present case in point I
1825Cite is, that Boon lived hunting up to ninety
1826
1827And what 's still stranger, left behind a name
1828For which men vainly decimate the throng
1829Not only famous, but of that good fame
1830Without which glory 's but a tavern song
1831Simple, serene, the antipodes of shame
1832Which hate nor envy e'er could tinge with wrong
1833An active hermit, even in age the child
1834Of Nature, or the man of Ross run wild.
1835
1836'T is true he shrank from men even of his nation
1837When they built up unto his darling trees
1838He moved some hundred miles off, for a station
1839Where there were fewer houses and more ease
1840the inconvenience of civilisation
1841Is, that you neither can be pleased nor please
1842But where he met the individual man
1843He show'd himself as kind as mortal can.
1844
1845He was not all alone around him grew
1846A sylvan tribe of children of the chase
1847Whose young, unwaken'd world was ever new
1848Nor sword nor sorrow yet had left a trace
1849On her unwrinkled brow, nor could you view
1850A frown on Nature's or on human face
1851the free-born forest found and kept them free
1852And fresh as is a torrent or a tree.
1853
1854And tall, and strong, and swift of foot were they
1855Beyond the dwarfing city's pale abortions
1856Because their thoughts had never been the prey
1857Of care or gain the green woods were their portions
1858No sinking spirits told them they grew grey
1859No fashion made them apes of her distortions
1860Simple they were, not savage and their rifles
1861Though very true, were not yet used for trifles.
1862
1863Motion was in their days, rest in their slumbers
1864And cheerfulness the handmaid of their toil
1865Nor yet too many nor too few their numbers
1866Corruption could not make their hearts her soil
1867the lust which stings, the splendour which encumbers
1868With the free foresters divide no spoil
1869Serene, not sullen, were the solitudes
1870Of this unsighing people of the woods.
1871
1872So much for Nature by way of variety
1873Now back to thy great joys, Civilisation!
1874And the sweet consequence of large society
1875War, pestilence, the despot's desolation
1876the kingly scourge, the lust of notoriety
1877the millions slain by soldiers for their ration
1878the scenes like Catherine's boudoir at threescore
1879With Ismail's storm to soften it the more.
1880
1881the town was enter'd first one column made
1882Its sanguinary way good then another
1883the reeking bayonet and the flashing blade
1884Clash'd 'gainst the scimitar, and babe and mother
1885With distant shrieks were heard Heaven to upbraid
1886Still closer sulphury clouds began to smother
1887the breath of morn and man, where foot by foot
1888the madden'd Turks their city still dispute.
1889
1890Koutousow, he who afterward beat back
1891With some assistance from the frost and snow
1892Napoleon on his bold and bloody track
1893It happen'd was himself beat back just now
1894He was a jolly fellow, and could crack
1895His jest alike in face of friend or foe
1896Though life, and death, and victory were at stake
1897But here it seem'd his jokes had ceased to take
1898
1899For having thrown himself into a ditch
1900Follow'd in haste by various grenadiers
1901Whose blood the puddle greatly did enrich
1902He climb'd to where the parapet appears
1903But there his project reach'd its utmost pitch
1904'Mongst other deaths the General Ribaupierre's
1905Was much regretted, for the Moslem men
1906Threw them all down into the ditch again.
1907
1908And had it not been for some stray troops landing
1909they knew not where, being carried by the stream
1910To some spot, where they lost their understanding
1911And wander'd up and down as in a dream
1912Until they reach'd, as daybreak was expanding
1913That which a portal to their eyes did seem
1914the great and gay Koutousow might have lain
1915Where three parts of his column yet remain.
1916
1917And scrambling round the rampart, these same troops
1918After the taking of the 'Cavalier,'
1919Just as Koutousow's most 'forlorn' of 'hopes'
1920Took like chameleons some slight tinge of fear
1921Open'd the gate call'd 'Kilia,' to the groups
1922Of baffled heroes, who stood shyly near
1923Sliding knee-deep in lately frozen mud
1924Now thaw'd into a marsh of human blood.
1925
1926the Kozacks, or, if so you please, Cossacques
1927I don't much pique myself upon orthography
1928So that I do not grossly err in facts
1929Statistics, tactics, politics, and geography
1930Having been used to serve on horses' backs
1931And no great dilettanti in topography
1932Of fortresses, but fighting where it pleases
1933their chiefs to order, were all cut to pieces.
1934
1935their column, though the Turkish batteries thunder'd
1936Upon them, ne'ertheless had reach'd the rampart
1937And naturally thought they could have plunder'd
1938the city, without being farther hamper'd
1939But as it happens to brave men, they blunder'd
1940the Turks at first pretended to have scamper'd
1941Only to draw them 'twixt two bastion corners
1942From whence they sallied on those Christian scorners.
1943
1944then being taken by the tail a taking
1945Fatal to bishops as to soldiers these
1946Cossacques were all cut off as day was breaking
1947And found their lives were let at a short lease
1948But perish'd without shivering or shaking
1949Leaving as ladders their heap'd carcasses
1950O'er which Lieutenant-Colonel Yesouskoi
1951March'd with the brave battalion of Polouzki
1952
1953This valiant man kill'd all the Turks he met
1954But could not eat them, being in his turn
1955Slain by some Mussulmans, who would not yet
1956Without resistance, see their city burn.
1957the walls were won, but 't was an even bet
1958Which of the armies would have cause to mourn
1959'T was blow for blow, disputing inch by inch
1960For one would not retreat, nor t' other flinch.
1961
1962Another column also suffer'd much
1963And here we may remark with the historian
1964You should but give few cartridges to such
1965Troops as are meant to march with greatest glory on
1966When matters must be carried by the touch
1967Of the bright bayonet, and they all should hurry on
1968they sometimes, with a hankering for existence
1969Keep merely firing at a foolish distance.
1970
1971A junction of the General Meknop's men
1972Without the General, who had fallen some time
1973Before, being badly seconded just then
1974Was made at length with those who dared to climb
1975the death-disgorging rampart once again
1976And though the Turk's resistance was sublime
1977they took the bastion, which the Seraskier
1978Defended at a price extremely dear.
1979
1980Juan and Johnson, and some volunteers
1981Among the foremost, offer'd him good quarter
1982A word which little suits with Seraskiers
1983Or at least suited not this valiant Tartar.
1984He died, deserving well his country's tears
1985A savage sort of military martyr.
1986An English naval officer, who wish'd
1987To make him prisoner, was also dish'd
1988
1989For all the answer to his proposition
1990Was from a pistol-shot that laid him dead
1991On which the rest, without more intermission
1992Began to lay about with steel and lead
1993the pious metals most in requisition
1994On such occasions not a single head
1995Was spared three thousand Moslems perish'd here
1996And sixteen bayonets pierced the Seraskier.
1997
1998the city 's taken only part by part
1999And death is drunk with gore there 's not a street
2000Where fights not to the last some desperate heart
2001For those for whom it soon shall cease to beat.
2002Here War forgot his own destructive art
2003In more destroying Nature and the heat
2004Of carnage, like the Nile's sun-sodden slime
2005Engender'd monstrous shapes of every crime.
2006
2007A Russian officer, in martial tread
2008Over a heap of bodies, felt his heel
2009Seized fast, as if 't were by the serpent's head
2010Whose fangs Eve taught her human seed to feel
2011In vain he kick'd, and swore, and writhed, and bled
2012And howl'd for help as wolves do for a meal
2013the teeth still kept their gratifying hold
2014As do the subtle snakes described of old.
2015
2016A dying Moslem, who had felt the foot
2017Of a foe o'er him, snatch'd at it, and bit
2018the very tendon which is most acute
2019That which some ancient Muse or modern wit
2020Named after thee, Achilles, and quite through 't
2021He made the teeth meet, nor relinquish'd it
2022Even with his life for but they lie 't is said
2023To the live leg still clung the sever'd head.
2024
2025However this may be, 't is pretty sure
2026the Russian officer for life was lamed
2027For the Turk's teeth stuck faster than a skewer
2028And left him 'midst the invalid and maim'd
2029the regimental surgeon could not cure
2030His patient, and perhaps was to be blamed
2031More than the head of the inveterate foe
2032Which was cut off, and scarce even then let go.
2033
2034But then the fact 's a fact and 't is the part
2035Of a true poet to escape from fiction
2036Whene'er he can for there is little art
2037In leaving verse more free from the restriction
2038Of truth than prose, unless to suit the mart
2039For what is sometimes called poetic diction
2040And that outrageous appetite for lies
2041Which Satan angles with for souls, like flies.
2042
2043the city 's taken, but not render'd! No!
2044there 's not a Moslem that hath yielded sword
2045the blood may gush out, as the Danube's flow
2046Rolls by the city wall but deed nor word
2047Acknowledge aught of dread of death or foe
2048In vain the yell of victory is roar'd
2049By the advancing Muscovite the groan
2050Of the last foe is echoed by his own.
2051
2052the bayonet pierces and the sabre cleaves
2053And human lives are lavish'd everywhere
2054As the year closing whirls the scarlet leaves
2055When the stripp'd forest bows to the bleak air
2056And groans and thus the peopled city grieves
2057Shorn of its best and loveliest, and left bare
2058But still it falls in vast and awful splinters
2059As oaks blown down with all their thousand winters.
2060
2061It is an awful topic but 't is not
2062My cue for any time to be terrific
2063For checker'd as is seen our human lot
2064With good, and bad, and worse, alike prolific
2065Of melancholy merriment, to quote
2066Too much of one sort would be soporific
2067Without, or with, offence to friends or foes
2068I sketch your world exactly as it goes.
2069
2070And one good action in the midst of crimes
2071Is 'quite refreshing,' in the affected phrase
2072Of these ambrosial, Pharisaic times
2073With all their pretty milk-and-water ways
2074And may serve therefore to bedew these rhymes
2075A little scorch'd at present with the blaze
2076Of conquest and its consequences, which
2077Make epic poesy so rare and rich.
2078
2079Upon a taken bastion, where there lay
2080Thousands of slaughter'd men, a yet warm group
2081Of murder'd women, who had found their way
2082To this vain refuge, made the good heart droop
2083And shudder while, as beautiful as May
2084A female child of ten years tried to stoop
2085And hide her little palpitating breast
2086Amidst the bodies lull'd in bloody rest.
2087
2088Two villainous Cossacques pursued the child
2089With flashing eyes and weapons match'd with them
2090the rudest brute that roams Siberia's wild
2091Has feelings pure and polish'd as a gem
2092the bear is civilised, the wolf is mild
2093And whom for this at last must we condemn?
2094their natures? or their sovereigns, who employ
2095All arts to teach their subjects to destroy?
2096
2097their sabres glitter'd o'er her little head
2098Whence her fair hair rose twining with affright
2099Her hidden face was plunged amidst the dead
2100When Juan caught a glimpse of this sad sight
2101I shall not say exactly what he said
2102Because it might not solace 'ears polite'
2103But what he did, was to lay on their backs
2104the readiest way of reasoning with Cossacques.
2105
2106One's hip he slash'd, and split the other's shoulder
2107And drove them with their brutal yells to seek
2108If there might be chirurgeons who could solder
2109the wounds they richly merited, and shriek
2110their baffled rage and pain while waxing colder
2111As he turn'd o'er each pale and gory cheek
2112Don Juan raised his little captive from
2113the heap a moment more had made her tomb.
2114
2115And she was chill as they, and on her face
2116A slender streak of blood announced how near
2117Her fate had been to that of all her race
2118For the same blow which laid her mother here
2119Had scarr'd her brow, and left its crimson trace
2120As the last link with all she had held dear
2121But else unhurt, she open'd her large eyes
2122And gazed on Juan with a wild surprise.
2123
2124Just at this instant, while their eyes were fix'd
2125Upon each other, with dilated glance
2126In Juan's look, pain, pleasure, hope, fear, mix'd
2127With joy to save, and dread of some mischance
2128Unto his protege while hers, transfix'd
2129With infant terrors, glared as from a trance
2130A pure, transparent, pale, yet radiant face
2131Like to a lighted alabaster vase
2132
2133Up came John Johnson I will not say 'Jack,'
2134For that were vulgar, cold, and commonplace
2135On great occasions, such as an attack
2136On cities, as hath been the present case
2137Up Johnson came, with hundreds at his back
2138Exclaiming 'Juan! Juan! On, boy! brace
2139Your arm, and I 'll bet Moscow to a dollar
2140That you and I will win St. George's collar.
2141
2142'the Seraskier is knock'd upon the head
2143But the stone bastion still remains, wherein
2144the old Pacha sits among some hundreds dead
2145Smoking his pipe quite calmly 'midst the din
2146Of our artillery and his own 't is said
2147Our kill'd, already piled up to the chin
2148Lie round the battery but still it batters
2149And grape in volleys, like a vineyard, scatters.
2150
2151'then up with me!' But Juan answer'd, 'Look
2152Upon this child I saved her must not leave
2153Her life to chance but point me out some nook
2154Of safety, where she less may shrink and grieve
2155And I am with you.' Whereon Johnson took
2156A glance around and shrugg'd and twitch'd his sleeve
2157And black silk neckcloth and replied, 'You 're right
2158Poor thing! what 's to be done? I 'm puzzled quite.'
2159
2160Said Juan 'Whatsoever is to be
2161Done, I 'll not quit her till she seems secure
2162Of present life a good deal more than we.'
2163Quoth Johnson 'Neither will I quite ensure
2164But at the least you may die gloriously.'
2165Juan replied 'At least I will endure
2166Whate'er is to be borne but not resign
2167This child, who is parentless, and therefore mine.'
2168
2169Johnson said 'Juan, we 've no time to lose
2170the child 's a pretty child a very pretty
2171I never saw such eyes but hark! now choose
2172Between your fame and feelings, pride and pity
2173Hark! how the roar increases! no excuse
2174Will serve when there is plunder in a city
2175I should be loth to march without you, but
2176By God! we 'll be too late for the first cut.'
2177
2178But Juan was immovable until
2179Johnson, who really loved him in his way
2180Pick'd out amongst his followers with some skill
2181Such as he thought the least given up to prey
2182And swearing if the infant came to ill
2183That they should all be shot on the next day
2184But if she were deliver'd safe and sound
2185they should at least have fifty rubles round
2186
2187And all allowances besides of plunder
2188In fair proportion with their comrades then
2189Juan consented to march on through thunder
2190Which thinn'd at every step their ranks of men
2191And yet the rest rush'd eagerly no wonder
2192For they were heated by the hope of gain
2193A thing which happens everywhere each day
2194No hero trusteth wholly to half pay.
2195
2196And such is victory, and such is man!
2197At least nine tenths of what we call so God
2198May have another name for half we scan
2199As human beings, or his ways are odd.
2200But to our subject a brave Tartar khan
2201Or 'sultan,' as the author to whose nod
2202In prose I bend my humble verse doth call
2203This chieftain somehow would not yield at all
2204
2205But flank'd by five brave sons such is polygamy
2206That she spawns warriors by the score, where none
2207Are prosecuted for that false crime bigamy
2208He never would believe the city won
2209While courage clung but to a single twig. Am I
2210Describing Priam's, Peleus', or Jove's son?
2211Neither but a good, plain, old, temperate man
2212Who fought with his five children in the van.
2213
2214To take him was the point. the truly brave
2215When they behold the brave oppress'd with odds
2216Are touch'd with a desire to shield and save
2217A mixture of wild beasts and demigods
2218Are they now furious as the sweeping wave
2219Now moved with pity even as sometimes nods
2220the rugged tree unto the summer wind
2221Compassion breathes along the savage mind.
2222
2223But he would not be taken, and replied
2224To all the propositions of surrender
2225By mowing Christians down on every side
2226As obstinate as Swedish Charles at Bender.
2227His five brave boys no less the foe defied
2228Whereon the Russian pathos grew less tender
2229As being a virtue, like terrestrial patience
2230Apt to wear out on trifling provocations.
2231
2232And spite of Johnson and of Juan, who
2233Expended all their Eastern phraseology
2234In begging him, for God's sake, just to show
2235So much less fight as might form an apology
2236For them in saving such a desperate foe
2237He hew'd away, like doctors of theology
2238When they dispute with sceptics and with curses
2239Struck at his friends, as babies beat their nurses.
2240
2241Nay, he had wounded, though but slightly, both
2242Juan and Johnson whereupon they fell
2243the first with sighs, the second with an oath
2244Upon his angry sultanship, pell-mell
2245And all around were grown exceeding wroth
2246At such a pertinacious infidel
2247And pour'd upon him and his sons like rain
2248Which they resisted like a sandy plain
2249
2250That drinks and still is dry. At last they perish'd
2251His second son was levell'd by a shot
2252His third was sabred and the fourth, most cherish'd
2253Of all the five, on bayonets met his lot
2254the fifth, who, by a Christian mother nourish'd
2255Had been neglected, ill-used, and what not
2256Because deform'd, yet died all game and bottom
2257To save a sire who blush'd that he begot him.
2258
2259the eldest was a true and tameless Tartar
2260As great a scorner of the Nazarene
2261As ever Mahomet pick'd out for a martyr
2262Who only saw the black-eyed girls in green
2263Who make the beds of those who won't take quarter
2264On earth, in Paradise and when once seen
2265Those houris, like all other pretty creatures
2266Do just whate'er they please, by dint of features.
2267
2268And what they pleased to do with the young khan
2269In heaven I know not, nor pretend to guess
2270But doubtless they prefer a fine young man
2271To tough old heroes, and can do no less
2272And that 's the cause no doubt why, if we scan
2273A field of battle's ghastly wilderness
2274For one rough, weather-beaten, veteran body
2275You 'll find ten thousand handsome coxcombs bloody.
2276
2277Your houris also have a natural pleasure
2278In lopping off your lately married men
2279Before the bridal hours have danced their measure
2280And the sad, second moon grows dim again
2281Or dull repentance hath had dreary leisure
2282To wish him back a bachelor now and then.
2283And thus your houri it may be disputes
2284Of these brief blossoms the immediate fruits.
2285
2286Thus the young khan, with houris in his sight
2287Thought not upon the charms of four young brides
2288But bravely rush'd on his first heavenly night.
2289In short, howe'er our better faith derides
2290these black-eyed virgins make the Moslems fight
2291As though there were one heaven and none besides
2292Whereas, if all be true we hear of heaven
2293And hell, there must at least be six or seven.
2294
2295So fully flash'd the phantom on his eyes
2296That when the very lance was in his heart
2297He shouted 'Allah!' and saw Paradise
2298With all its veil of mystery drawn apart
2299And bright eternity without disguise
2300On his soul, like a ceaseless sunrise, dart
2301With prophets, houris, angels, saints, descried
2302In one voluptuous blaze, and then he died
2303
2304But with a heavenly rapture on his face.
2305the good old khan, who long had ceased to see
2306Houris, or aught except his florid race
2307Who grew like cedars round him gloriously
2308When he beheld his latest hero grace
2309the earth, which he became like a fell'd tree
2310Paused for a moment, from the fight, and cast
2311A glance on that slain son, his first and last.
2312
2313the soldiers, who beheld him drop his point
2314Stopp'd as if once more willing to concede
2315Quarter, in case he bade them not 'aroynt!'
2316As he before had done. He did not heed
2317their pause nor signs his heart was out of joint
2318And shook till now unshaken like a reed
2319As he look'd down upon his children gone
2320And felt though done with life he was alone
2321
2322But 't was a transient tremor with a spring
2323Upon the Russian steel his breast he flung
2324As carelessly as hurls the moth her wing
2325Against the light wherein she dies he clung
2326Closer, that all the deadlier they might wring
2327Unto the bayonets which had pierced his young
2328And throwing back a dim look on his sons
2329In one wide wound pour'd forth his soul at once.
2330
2331'T is strange enough the rough, tough soldiers, who
2332Spared neither sex nor age in their career
2333Of carnage, when this old man was pierced through
2334And lay before them with his children near
2335Touch'd by the heroism of him they slew
2336Were melted for a moment though no tear
2337Flow'd from their bloodshot eyes, all red with strife
2338they honour'd such determined scorn of life.
2339
2340But the stone bastion still kept up its fire
2341Where the chief pacha calmly held his post
2342Some twenty times he made the Russ retire
2343And baffled the assaults of all their host
2344At length he condescended to inquire
2345If yet the city's rest were won or lost
2346And being told the latter, sent a bey
2347To answer Ribas' summons to give way.
2348
2349In the mean time, cross-legg'd, with great sang-froid
2350Among the scorching ruins he sat smoking
2351Tobacco on a little carpet Troy
2352Saw nothing like the scene around yet looking
2353With martial stoicism, nought seem'd to annoy
2354His stern philosophy but gently stroking
2355His beard, he puff'd his pipe's ambrosial gales
2356As if he had three lives, as well as tails.
2357
2358the town was taken whether he might yield
2359Himself or bastion, little matter'd now
2360His stubborn valour was no future shield.
2361Ismail 's no more! the crescent's silver bow
2362Sunk, and the crimson cross glared o'er the field
2363But red with no redeeming gore the glow
2364Of burning streets, like moonlight on the water
2365Was imaged back in blood, the sea of slaughter.
2366
2367All that the mind would shrink from of excesses
2368All that the body perpetrates of bad
2369All that we read, hear, dream, of man's distresses
2370All that the devil would do if run stark mad
2371All that defies the worst which pen expresses
2372All by which hell is peopled, or as sad
2373As hell mere mortals who their power abuse
2374Was here as heretofore and since let loose.
2375
2376If here and there some transient trait of pity
2377Was shown, and some more noble heart broke through
2378Its bloody bond, and saved perhaps some pretty
2379Child, or an aged, helpless man or two
2380What 's this in one annihilated city
2381Where thousand loves, and ties, and duties grew?
2382Cockneys of London! Muscadins of Paris!
2383Just ponder what a pious pastime war is.
2384
2385Think how the joys of reading a Gazette
2386Are purchased by all agonies and crimes
2387Or if these do not move you, don't forget
2388Such doom may be your own in aftertimes.
2389Meantime the Taxes, Castlereagh, and Debt
2390Are hints as good as sermons, or as rhymes.
2391Read your own hearts and Ireland's present story
2392then feed her famine fat with Wellesley's glory.
2393
2394But still there is unto a patriot nation
2395Which loves so well its country and its king
2396A subject of sublimest exultation
2397Bear it, ye Muses, on your brightest wing!
2398Howe'er the mighty locust, Desolation
2399Strip your green fields, and to your harvests cling
2400Gaunt famine never shall approach the throne
2401Though Ireland starve, great George weighs twenty stone.
2402
2403But let me put an end unto my theme
2404there was an end of Ismail hapless town!
2405Far flash'd her burning towers o'er Danube's stream
2406And redly ran his blushing waters down.
2407the horrid war-whoop and the shriller scream
2408Rose still but fainter were the thunders grown
2409Of forty thousand who had mann'd the wall
2410Some hundreds breathed the rest were silent all!
2411
2412In one thing ne'ertheless 't is fit to praise
2413the Russian army upon this occasion
2414A virtue much in fashion now-a-days
2415And therefore worthy of commemoration
2416the topic 's tender, so shall be my phrase
2417Perhaps the season's chill, and their long station
2418In winter's depth, or want of rest and victual
2419Had made them chaste they ravish'd very little.
2420
2421Much did they slay, more plunder, and no less
2422Might here and there occur some violation
2423In the other line but not to such excess
2424As when the French, that dissipated nation
2425Take towns by storm no causes can I guess
2426Except cold weather and commiseration
2427But all the ladies, save some twenty score
2428Were almost as much virgins as before.
2429
2430Some odd mistakes, too, happen'd in the dark
2431Which show'd a want of lanterns, or of taste
2432Indeed the smoke was such they scarce could mark
2433their friends from foes, besides such things from haste
2434Occur, though rarely, when there is a spark
2435Of light to save the venerably chaste
2436But six old damsels, each of seventy years
2437Were all deflower'd by different grenadiers.
2438
2439But on the whole their continence was great
2440So that some disappointment there ensued
2441To those who had felt the inconvenient state
2442Of 'single blessedness,' and thought it good
2443Since it was not their fault, but only fate
2444To bear these crosses for each waning prude
2445To make a Roman sort of Sabine wedding
2446Without the expense and the suspense of bedding.
2447
2448Some voices of the buxom middle-aged
2449Were also heard to wonder in the din
2450Widows of forty were these birds long caged
2451'Wherefore the ravishing did not begin!'
2452But while the thirst for gore and plunder raged
2453there was small leisure for superfluous sin
2454But whether they escaped or no, lies hid
2455In darkness I can only hope they did.
2456
2457Suwarrow now was conqueror a match
2458For Timour or for Zinghis in his trade.
2459While mosques and streets, beneath his eyes, like thatch
2460Blazed, and the cannon's roar was scarce allay'd
2461With bloody hands he wrote his first despatch
2462And here exactly follows what he said
2463'Glory to God and to the Empress!' Powers
2464Eternal! such names mingled! 'Ismail 's ours.'
2465
2466Methinks these are the most tremendous words
2467Since 'Mene, Mene, Tekel,' and 'Upharsin,'
2468Which hands or pens have ever traced of swords.
2469Heaven help me! I 'm but little of a parson
2470What Daniel read was short-hand of the Lord's
2471Severe, sublime the prophet wrote no farce on
2472the fate of nations but this Russ so witty
2473Could rhyme, like Nero, o'er a burning city.
2474
2475He wrote this Polar melody, and set it
2476Duly accompanied by shrieks and groans
2477Which few will sing, I trust, but none forget it
2478For I will teach, if possible, the stones
2479To rise against earth's tyrants. Never let it
2480Be said that we still truckle unto thrones
2481But ye our children's children! think how we
2482Show'd what things were before the world was free!
2483
2484That hour is not for us, but 't is for you
2485And as, in the great joy of your millennium
2486You hardly will believe such things were true
2487As now occur, I thought that I would pen you 'em
2488But may their very memory perish too!
2489Yet if perchance remember'd, still disdain you 'em
2490More than you scorn the savages of yore
2491Who painted their bare limbs, but not with gore.
2492
2493And when you hear historians talk of thrones
2494And those that sate upon them, let it be
2495As we now gaze upon the mammoth's bones
2496'And wonder what old world such things could see
2497Or hieroglyphics on Egyptian stones
2498the pleasant riddles of futurity
2499Guessing at what shall happily be hid
2500As the real purpose of a pyramid.
2501
2502Reader! I have kept my word, at least so far
2503As the first Canto promised. You have now
2504Had sketches of love, tempest, travel, war
2505All very accurate, you must allow
2506And epic, if plain truth should prove no bar
2507For I have drawn much less with a long bow
2508Than my forerunners. Carelessly I sing
2509But Phoebus lends me now and then a string
2510
2511With which I still can harp, and carp, and fiddle.
2512What farther hath befallen or may befall
2513the hero of this grand poetic riddle
2514I by and by may tell you, if at all
2515But now I choose to break off in the middle
2516Worn out with battering Ismail's stubborn wall
2517While Juan is sent off with the despatch
2518For which all Petersburgh is on the watch.
2519
2520This special honour was conferr'd, because
2521He had behaved with courage and humanity
2522Which last men like, when they have time to pause
2523From their ferocities produced by vanity.
2524His little captive gain'd him some applause
2525For saving her amidst the wild insanity
2526Of carnage, and I think he was more glad in her
2527Safety, than his new order of St. Vladimir.
2528
2529the Moslem orphan went with her protector
2530For she was homeless, houseless, helpless all
2531Her friends, like the sad family of Hector
2532Had perish'd in the field or by the wall
2533Her very place of birth was but a spectre
2534Of what it had been there the Muezzin's cal
2535To prayer was heard no more! and Juan wept
2536And made a vow to shield her, which he kept.
2537
2538O, Wellington! or 'Villainton' for Fame
2539Sounds the heroic syllables both ways
2540France could not even conquer your great name
2541But punn'd it down to this facetious phrase
2542Beating or beaten she will laugh the same
2543You have obtain'd great pensions and much praise
2544Glory like yours should any dare gainsay
2545Humanity would rise, and thunder 'Nay!'
2546
2547I don't think that you used Kinnaird quite well
2548In Marinet's affair in fact, 't was shabby
2549And like some other things won't do to tell
2550Upon your tomb in Westminster's old abbey.
2551Upon the rest 't is not worth while to dwell
2552Such tales being for the tea-hours of some tabby
2553But though your years as man tend fast to zero
2554In fact your grace is still but a young hero.
2555
2556Though Britain owes and pays you too so much
2557Yet Europe doubtless owes you greatly more
2558You have repair'd Legitimacy's crutch
2559A prop not quite so certain as before
2560the Spanish, and the French, as well as Dutch
2561Have seen, and felt, how strongly you restore
2562And Waterloo has made the world your debtor
2563I wish your bards would sing it rather better.
2564
2565You are 'the best of cut-throats' do not start
2566the phrase is Shakspeare's, and not misapplied
2567War 's a brain-spattering, windpipe-slitting art
2568Unless her cause by right be sanctified.
2569If you have acted once a generous part
2570the world, not the world's masters, will decide
2571And I shall be delighted to learn who
2572Save you and yours, have gain'd by Waterloo?
2573
2574I am no flatterer you 've supp'd full of flattery
2575they say you like it too 't is no great wonder.
2576He whose whole life has been assault and battery
2577At last may get a little tired of thunder
2578And swallowing eulogy much more than satire, he
2579May like being praised for every lucky blunder
2580Call'd 'Saviour of the Nations' not yet saved
2581And 'Europe's Liberator' still enslaved.
2582
2583I 've done. Now go and dine from off the plate
2584Presented by the Prince of the Brazils
2585And send the sentinel before your gate
2586A slice or two from your luxurious meals
2587He fought, but has not fed so well of late.
2588Some hunger, too, they say the people feels
2589there is no doubt that you deserve your ration
2590But pray give back a little to the nation.
2591
2592I don't mean to reflect a man so great as
2593You, my lord duke! is far above reflection
2594the high Roman fashion, too, of Cincinnatus
2595With modern history has but small connection
2596Though as an Irishman you love potatoes
2597You need not take them under your direction
2598And half a million for your Sabine farm
2599Is rather dear! I 'm sure I mean no harm.
2600
2601Great men have always scorn'd great recompenses
2602Epaminondas saved his thebes, and died
2603Not leaving even his funeral expenses
2604George Washington had thanks and nought beside
2605Except the all-cloudless glory which few men's is
2606To free his country Pitt too had his pride
2607And as a high-soul'd minister of state is
2608Renown'd for ruining Great Britain gratis.
2609
2610Never had mortal man such opportunity
2611Except Napoleon, or abused it more
2612You might have freed fallen Europe from the unity
2613Of tyrants, and been blest from shore to shore
2614And now what is your fame? Shall the Muse tune it ye?
2615Now that the rabble's first vain shouts are o'er?
2616Go! hear it in your famish'd country's cries!
2617Behold the world! and curse your victories!
2618
2619As these new cantos touch on warlike feats
2620To you the unflattering Muse deigns to inscribe
2621Truths, that you will not read in the Gazettes
2622But which 't is time to teach the hireling tribe
2623Who fatten on their country's gore, and debts
2624Must be recited, and without a bribe.
2625You did great things but not being great in mind
2626Have left undone the greatest and mankind.
2627
2628Death laughs Go ponder o'er the skeleton
2629With which men image out the unknown thing
2630That hides the past world, like to a set sun
2631Which still elsewhere may rouse a brighter spring
2632Death laughs at all you weep for look upon
2633This hourly dread of all! whose threaten'd sting
2634Turns life to terror, even though in its sheath
2635Mark how its lipless mouth grins without breath!
2636
2637Mark how it laughs and scorns at all you are!
2638And yet was what you are from ear to ear
2639It laughs not there is now no fleshy bar
2640So call'd the Antic long hath ceased to hear
2641But still he smiles and whether near or far
2642He strips from man that mantle far more dear
2643Than even the tailor's, his incarnate skin
2644White, black, or copper the dead bones will grin.
2645
2646And thus Death laughs, it is sad merriment
2647But still it is so and with such example
2648Why should not Life be equally content
2649With his superior, in a smile to trample
2650Upon the nothings which are daily spent
2651Like bubbles on an ocean much less ample
2652Than the eternal deluge, which devours
2653Suns as rays worlds like atoms years like hours?
2654
2655'To be, or not to be? that is the question,'
2656Says Shakspeare, who just now is much in fashion.
2657I am neither Alexander nor Hephaestion
2658Nor ever had for abstract fame much passion
2659But would much rather have a sound digestion
2660Than Buonaparte's cancer could I dash on
2661Through fifty victories to shame or fame
2662Without a stomach what were a good name?
2663
2664'O dura ilia messorum!' 'Oh
2665Ye rigid guts of reapers!' I translate
2666For the great benefit of those who know
2667What indigestion is that inward fate
2668Which makes all Styx through one small liver flow.
2669A peasant's sweat is worth his lord's estate
2670Let this one toil for bread that rack for rent
2671He who sleeps best may be the most content.
2672
2673'To be, or not to be?' Ere I decide
2674I should be glad to know that which is being?
2675'T is true we speculate both far and wide
2676And deem, because we see, we are all-seeing
2677For my part, I 'll enlist on neither side
2678Until I see both sides for once agreeing.
2679For me, I sometimes think that life is death
2680Rather than life a mere affair of breath.
2681
2682'Que scais-je?' was the motto of Montaigne
2683As also of the first academicians
2684That all is dubious which man may attain
2685Was one of their most favourite positions.
2686there 's no such thing as certainty, that 's plain
2687As any of Mortality's conditions
2688So little do we know what we 're about in
2689This world, I doubt if doubt itself be doubting.
2690
2691It is a pleasant voyage perhaps to float
2692Like Pyrrho, on a sea of speculation
2693But what if carrying sail capsize the boat?
2694Your wise men don't know much of navigation
2695And swimming long in the abyss of thought
2696Is apt to tire a calm and shallow station
2697Well nigh the shore, where one stoops down and gathers
2698Some pretty shell, is best for moderate bathers.
2699
2700'But heaven,' as Cassio says, 'is above all
2701No more of this, then, let us pray!' We have
2702Souls to save, since Eve's slip and Adam's fall
2703Which tumbled all mankind into the grave
2704Besides fish, beasts, and birds. 'the sparrow's fall
2705Is special providence,' though how it gave
2706Offence, we know not probably it perch'd
2707Upon the tree which Eve so fondly search'd.
2708
2709O, ye immortal gods! what is theogony?
2710O, thou too, mortal man! what is philanthropy?
2711O, world! which was and is, what is cosmogony?
2712Some people have accused me of misanthropy
2713And yet I know no more than the mahogany
2714That forms this desk, of what they mean lykanthropy
2715I comprehend, for without transformation
2716Men become wolves on any slight occasion.
2717
2718But I, the mildest, meekest of mankind
2719Like Moses, or Melancthon, who have ne'er
2720Done anything exceedingly unkind
2721And though I could not now and then forbear
2722Following the bent of body or of mind
2723Have always had a tendency to spare
2724Why do they call me misanthrope? Because
2725they hate me, not I them. and here we 'll pause.
2726
2727'T is time we should proceed with our good poem
2728For I maintain that it is really good
2729Not only in the body but the proem
2730However little both are understood
2731Just now, but by and by the Truth will show 'em
2732Herself in her sublimest attitude
2733And till she doth, I fain must be content
2734To share her beauty and her banishment.
2735
2736Our hero and, I trust, kind reader, yours
2737Was left upon his way to the chief city
2738Of the immortal Peter's polish'd boors
2739Who still have shown themselves more brave than witty.
2740I know its mighty empire now allures
2741Much flattery even Voltaire's, and that 's a pity.
2742For me, I deem an absolute autocrat
2743Not a barbarian, but much worse than that.
2744
2745And I will war, at least in words and should
2746My chance so happen deeds, with all who war
2747With Thought and of Thought's foes by far most rude
2748Tyrants and sycophants have been and are.
2749I know not who may conquer if I could
2750Have such a prescience, it should be no bar
2751To this my plain, sworn, downright detestation
2752Of every depotism in every nation.
2753
2754It is not that I adulate the people
2755Without me, there are demagogues enough
2756And infidels, to pull down every steeple
2757And set up in their stead some proper stuff.
2758Whether they may sow scepticism to reap hell
2759As is the Christian dogma rather rough
2760I do not know I wish men to be free
2761As much from mobs as kings from you as me.
2762
2763the consequence is, being of no party
2764I shall offend all parties never mind!
2765My words, at least, are more sincere and hearty
2766Than if I sought to sail before the wind.
2767He who has nought to gain can have small art he
2768Who neither wishes to be bound nor bind
2769May still expatiate freely, as will I
2770Nor give my voice to slavery's jackal cry.
2771
2772That 's an appropriate simile, that jackal
2773I 've heard them in the Ephesian ruins howl
2774By night, as do that mercenary pack all
2775Power's base purveyors, who for pickings prowl
2776And scent the prey their masters would attack all.
2777However, the poor jackals are less foul
2778As being the brave lions' keen providers
2779Than human insects, catering for spiders.
2780
2781Raise but an arm! 't will brush their web away
2782And without that, their poison and their claws
2783Are useless. Mind, good people! what I say
2784Or rather peoples go on without pause!
2785the web of these tarantulas each day
2786Increases, till you shall make common cause
2787None, save the Spanish fly and Attic bee
2788As yet are strongly stinging to be free.
2789
2790Don Juan, who had shone in the late slaughter
2791Was left upon his way with the despatch
2792Where blood was talk'd of as we would of water
2793And carcasses that lay as thick as thatch
2794O'er silenced cities, merely served to flatter
2795Fair Catherine's pastime who look'd on the match
2796Between these nations as a main of cocks
2797Wherein she liked her own to stand like rocks.
2798
2799And there in a kibitka he roll'd on
2800A cursed sort of carriage without springs
2801Which on rough roads leaves scarcely a whole bone
2802Pondering on glory, chivalry, and kings
2803And orders, and on all that he had done
2804And wishing that post-horses had the wings
2805Of Pegasus, or at the least post-chaises
2806Had feathers, when a traveller on deep ways is.
2807
2808At every jolt and they were many still
2809He turn'd his eyes upon his little charge
2810As if he wish'd that she should fare less ill
2811Than he, in these sad highways left at large
2812To ruts, and flints, and lovely Nature's skill
2813Who is no paviour, nor admits a barge
2814On her canals, where God takes sea and land
2815Fishery and farm, both into his own hand.
2816
2817At least he pays no rent, and has best right
2818To be the first of what we used to call
2819'Gentlemen farmer' a race worn out quite
2820Since lately there have been no rents at all
2821And 'gentlemen' are in a piteous plight
2822And 'farmers' can't raise Ceres from her fall
2823She fell with Buonaparte What strange thoughts
2824Arise, when we see emperors fall with oats!
2825
2826But Juan turn'd his eyes on the sweet child
2827Whom he had saved from slaughter what a trophy
2828O! ye who build up monuments, defiled
2829With gore, like Nadir Shah, that costive sophy
2830Who, after leaving Hindostan a wild
2831And scarce to the Mogul a cup of coffee
2832To soothe his woes withal, was slain, the sinner!
2833Because he could no more digest his dinner
2834
2835O ye! or we! or he! or she! reflect
2836That one life saved, especially if young
2837Or pretty, is a thing to recollect
2838Far sweeter than the greenest laurels sprung
2839From the manure of human clay, though deck'd
2840With all the praises ever said or sung
2841Though hymn'd by every harp, unless within
2842Your heart joins chorus, Fame is but a din.
2843
2844O! ye great authors luminous, voluminous!
2845Ye twice ten hundred thousand daily scribes!
2846Whose pamphlets, volumes, newspapers, illumine us!
2847Whether you 're paid by government in bribes
2848To prove the public debt is not consuming us
2849Or, roughly treading on the 'courtier's kibes'
2850With clownish heel, your popular circulation
2851Feeds you by printing half the realm's starvation
2852
2853O, ye great authors! 'Apropos des bottes,'
2854I have forgotten what I meant to say
2855As sometimes have been greater sages' lots
2856'T was something calculated to allay
2857All wrath in barracks, palaces, or cots
2858Certes it would have been but thrown away
2859And that 's one comfort for my lost advice
2860Although no doubt it was beyond all price.
2861
2862But let it go it will one day be found
2863With other relics of 'a former world,'
2864When this world shall be former, underground
2865Thrown topsy-turvy, twisted, crisp'd, and curl'd
2866Baked, fried, or burnt, turn'd inside-out, or drown'd
2867Like all the worlds before, which have been hurl'd
2868First out of, and then back again to chaos
2869the superstratum which will overlay us.
2870
2871So Cuvier says and then shall come again
2872Unto the new creation, rising out
2873From our old crash, some mystic, ancient strain
2874Of things destroy'd and left in airy doubt
2875Like to the notions we now entertain
2876Of Titans, giants, fellows of about
2877Some hundred feet in height, not to say miles
2878And mammoths, and your winged crocodiles.