· 6 years ago · Apr 21, 2019, 11:28 PM
1twenty four, four twenty,
2
3Are you cinderella-betty, let me guess, is-that-because I’m your princess, no, that’s-because your dress will disappear at midnight,
4
5John F kennedy,
6
7reversal, The perfect insult,
8
9Real couples-have sex on TV for new reality show, well-that just sounds-like porn with extra steps,
10
11France no longer has trees tall enough-to rebuild Notre dame’s roof as-it wahs, third world forests,
12
13Me at 3 am thinking-about-that time I tried-to wash a paper plate eight years ago,
14
15When you help your homie on test, carefully, he’s a hero, but he-somehow gets a higher grade, I guide others-to a treasure-that I cannot possess,
16
179 year old friend, say alpha Q really fast without stopping, me, alpha q alpha q alpha q, friend, you want-to fuck me, me, when did I eve friend, you fool, you fell victim-to one of-the classic blunders,
18
19Are you-the left, nah he’s my homie, you want his number, ha ha o you’ve turned love matcher, what a story-that could-be, well I mean-if you’re not into me, I may as well help out-the boys, his name-is mahx, he’s-even cuter in person,
20
21I guide others-to a treasure I cannot possess,
22
23When you use your younger sibling’s phone-and you see two calculators, not bad kid,
24
25Friend, this-isn’t caesar salad, me, you don’t-have a fucking clue-about history,
26
27Me showing girls my collection of failures,
28
29Me, stranger introduces himself, friend, remind me-what-is his name again, me, good question,
30
31When a cute girl accidentally-touches your hand, ay-to nut,
32
33I’m a brave boy, cave 13, minecraft cave-sounds, not a brave enough boy for-this,
34
35Me-and my brother, finds two sticks-that are just right, me, you know-what-to do, me-and him 10 seconds later,
36
37Boys-have swag, men-have class, I-have diabetes,
38
39Spiderman, gentleman with arachnid abilities, dust,
40
41Thousands of years of Chinese dynasties, Britain, opium,
42
43Toronto man fakes a nine one one call-and tries-to steal a fire truck, florida man, first time,
44
45My dog, a piece of food on-the floor, me,
46
47God, were you religious, me, when I was 11 I looked up aphrodite e-to see naked girls, god,
48
49Water, is cold, my balls,
50
51When your crush doesn’t magically know-that you-like-them-and starts dating-someone else, maybe I’m just meant-to-be lonely,
52
53Me looking for an answer for one question online, finding-the answers-to-the entire sheet,
54
55When your sister forces you-to spend time with her new boyfriend,
56
57Me immediately-after masturbation, touches dick,
58
59my dick, you are doing-that-too much, try again in eight minutes,
60
611980s, I-bet-there will-be flying cars in-the future, 2019, how-to-solve-the one-by 1 rubik’s cube,
62
63Nobody, 69 year olds, a 69 year old man fails-to smuggle-tortoises disguised as pastries into Berlin airport,
64
65What scientists thought of dinosaurs in-the 80’s-to 90’s, what scientists think of dinosaurs now,
66
67Europeans waking up-to all-the-top gear meem's, they are-the funniest creatures on earth, aren’t-they,
68
69americans,
70
71Parents, all teens do-is drugs, alcohol-and take self e's, teens i r l, I sexually identify as a failure,
72
73Woman goes blind in one eye-after playing mobile game all day, pc gamers, pathetic,
74
75When you’re watching end game-and you see a meemable scene, write-that down, write-that down,
76
77Literally no one, inside edition, is breathing safe,
78
7912 year old me trying-to find my pulse in biology class,
80
81I’m out-having dinner-and-this woman outside was-being blinded-by-the sunset-so her date propped a menu-behind his head,
82
83on-the collar of his shirt, to block-the sun from her eyes-and I am-sobbing, so romance-isn’t dead-after all,
84
85Embarrassing things I did as a child, my brain-while I’m trying-to sleep,
86
87When people only-like-the happiness doggo-and not-the angry doggo, angry noise,
88
89Question, just how quickly can you say-the alphabet backwards, roughly as fast as I can say-it forwards, I’m not-that fast with other things though, oh, do tell more, I’m retarded,
90
91The rest of europe, what happened-to those 10 million plus civilians, joseph stalin, good question,
92
93Samsung releases a foldable phone, case manufactures,
94
95This trash bin has a sad backstory,
96
97When you throw your phone on-the-bed-and-it starts competing for olympic high jump gold medal,
98
99Oh boy I cant wait-to show off my new blue headband on piru street in Compton california,
100
101When you realize-the mods-have-to see end game spoilers-to protect-the rest of us,
102
103Weebs who speak japanese, comrad who speaks russian, me, who knows fluent enchanting table,
104
105The phenomenon of crown shyness, where trees avoid-touching, nobody, my dinner plate-when I was a kid cause I didn’t want my food-to-touch,
106
107Porn hub launches-bee-themed channel-to raise money for-bee conservation, ya-like jizz,
108
109Your clash of clans village-is-being raided, by,
110
111Pop stars hair styles per era, madonna, Re ah nah, Britney spears, lady gaga,
112
113Kay tee perry, Ariana grahnday,
114
115Florida man steals a car, realizes a baby-is in-it, drops baby off safely, and makes his get away, you are bad guy, but-this does not mean you are bad guy,
116
117Sweet jesus, derp, that’s not honey, you’re eating 2011 meem's, fffffuuuu,
118
119When-the computer says press any-button-to continue-so you press-the off-button,
120
121Frantically waving hands-and chasing down ice cream truck, hey wait, what’ll-it-be lady, out of breath, nothing, just wanted-to tell you I don’t watch game of thrones,
122
123Karen, no tah toos thanks, my body-is a temple, temples,
124
125Do I get a piano tutorial, I was one of your first 100 subscribers, mr cube we love you, thanks for sticking around man, that’s neither a yes-or a no, this-is-like getting friend zoned,
126
127172 other countries, metric system, america,
128
129Electronic arts, no microtransactions, no loot boxes, E Ay, oh, they got-this all screwed up, no mighcro transactions? no, loot boxes,
130
131Me, my mom checking-if I’m asleep, my ds under my pillow,
132
133That one ugly ass friend-that’s always fly as fuck,
134
135Come in, it’s open, you fool, you fell victim-to one of-the classic blunders, beg for your weird knife in spanish,
136
137Guinea pig-to-become father-to 400-after breaking into female enclosure,
138
139Stoner, could you bring-some edibles-to-the party, me, no worries mate, I’m all-about-the four twenty, four n twenty party pies,
140
141I’m franken stighn’s monster, you don’t seem-like a monster, I own land,
142
143When you get-to-the Bible verse first, I am speed,
144
145Austria-when fighting prussia, austria-when fighting france, austria-when fighting-the ottomans, austria-when fighting austria,
146
147When you kill a slime in minecraft, ah shit, here we go again,
148
149Five year olds-when-the characters in-the TV show start kissing,
150
151Me at-the store, mom, can I-have minecraft, mom, no, we-have games at home, games at home,
152
153When-the Chinese clan-is destroying your clan in clan wars-so your clan renames-itself June 4 1989 tee ah nahn men square massacre, my strateegical mind-beats you in every way possible,
154
155My iPhone was stolen-and every time-they take a picture-it gets up loaded-to my iCloud, if you know who-this-is please help, that man has an RPG, you’re not getting your phone back,
156
157Everybody, incest-is disgusting-and should-be punished, the kids of adam-and eve,
158
159Teenage white girl, I-have depression, me, did you get diagnosed-by a-therapist, teenage white girl, I do not understand-that word-and-therefore-it-is meaningless,
160
161Been following-this truck for several hours, I’ll keep you guys updated,
162
163I edited-this comment-so-the replies make no sense, that’s-the evilest thing I can imagine,
164
165Literally everyone else, me,
166
167Anti vaxed kids-when-they turn 5, oh, yeah, I shouldn’t exist,
168
169Repair-and name, stone, stone infinity, enchantment cost, 4, what did-it cost, 4,
170
171Fuck-this, I give up, this cooking shit-is fucking hard y’all,
172
173When you share all your pens in class, but no one returns-them, communism hasn’t worked,
174
175My girl was in labor, but-when my homies need a 4th you already know I’m-there,
176
177When-it’s a slow night-so your manager says one of-the kitchen staff can go home early,
178
179When you show a Face book mom a meme without minions, what’s-the joke,
180
181Thank you big bro, for downloading minecraft on my computer,
182
183Don’t cry babe, it’s just a movie, don’t cry babe, it’s just your whole minecraft inventory,
184
185Turning into my father, turning into my mother,
186
187Schools, the mighto kondria-is-the powerhouse of-the cell, me, ok cool, but how do taxes work, schools, good question,
188
189When you favorite billionaire meem lord changes his twitter eye con-to an ani may character, you were-the chosen one,
190
191Fallen-soldier dies on-the battlefield 1945 colorized,
192
193Why does Oregon’s strength coach look-like he’s gonna ask-what IPAs are on tap,
194
195When your sister forces you-to spend time with her new boyfriend,
196
197One burned you alive-and-thee other one electrocuted you with static,
198
199What album-is on-this CD, it’s just one-song-and-it’s fireflies-by owl city,
200
201Worlds largest kahoot, have more than 50k people join, waste 50k people’s time-because cahoot won’t work,
202
203Spotify, on shuffle, me, then fucking act-like-it, I’ve shuffled-the-songs, you didn’t shuffle shit, I’ve shuffled-them,
204
205Americans, four twenty, europeans, twentieth of april 2019,
206
207T i 84 graphing calculator, 1 plus 4,
208
209People with foot fetishes are buying silicone feet with built in vagina's, every day, we stray further from god,
210
211When-the minimum wage worker makes a slight mistake, you are challenged-by elite four karen,
212
213Fire at notre dame cathedral, sad crusader noise,
214
215Dr strange visiting all 14,000,605 realities, ah shit, here we go again,
216
217Wise man, tell me-the secrets of-the universe, wet dreams are just hand jobs from god,
218
219This format-is-better than-the Lisa Simpson one-because-somebody risked-their dignity-to make-this template,
220
221The U S going from good friday-to four twenty-to easter in-the same weekend, par core,
222
223Dad, hit-this shit, girl, dad, I’m 8, mom, four twenty blaze-it bitch,
224
225
226Me, disables wigh figh-and mobile data-to-bypass ads on a mobile game, game, shows ads anyways, me, confused screaming,
227
228Patient, I feel-like u’m invisible-to people, psychologist, who said-that,
229
230My grades, me, reddit,
231
232Atheists-like, this uncle dave,
233
2344 months progress, what-the fuck at-the first pic,
235
236Me, I don’t-have a type, my exes,
237
238When you spin on your dick-like a helicopter-and-the judge adds 10 more years-to your sentence, are you not entertained,
239
240The doctor, me, my mom,
241
242Just-to-be clear, ant man will not-be crawling into thah noses ass hole-and-then expand in avengers end game, pathetic,
243
244Average number of deaths per day in-the world, 150 thousand, when you realize-some of-the people would-have woken up thinking-they were going-to watch end game,
245
246Dude in 2012, bro-if notre dame ever burns down I’ll eat an entire car, dude in 2019,
247
248I don’t give a rat’s patoot-what-today-is, I-better not catch you smoking any doo bee's,
249
250Literally every teenage girl, insults dr Phil on his show, dr phil, you dare oppose me mortal,
251
252Therapist, how-have you-been managing your symptoms, me, clink clink bitch,
253
254It’s my lucky day y’all, what-if-the change we find in-between cushions of couches are from spiders try nah pay rent,
255
256When you feel your ass crack-itching in public,
257
258Me, mom, can we-have McDonalds, mom, no, we-have food at home, food at home,
259
260When you randomly pause a youTube video-and accidentally Create a new meme format,
261
262Nobody, dogs inside of cars,
263
264Feet, exist, literally every fucking artist on deviant art, delicious, finally, some good fucking food,
265
266Me-while watching avengers end game, oh stan lee, I wish you could see-this,
267
268Dried cum, see ment, cumcrete
269
270Avengers, end game includes Stan lee’s final cameo, says Joe russo,
271
272I am not ready-to-be without you,
273
274Siri how early-is-too early for a fuh lah full,
275
276Red blood cells-when I give a presentation in front of-the whole class, on my way woody,
277
278Ah shit wah dup, here come dat boy again,
279
280Gamer girls-today, will-be mothers-that will understand an online game can’t-be paused,
281
282Firefighters who saved Notre dame, any christian, god,
283
284When you finally meet your online girlfriend, ahhh, I see you’re a man as well,
285
286Why can’t you just-be normal, falls,
287
288Me, can we get comedy, mom, no, we-have comedy at home, comedy at home,
289
290The word sehx, exists, literally every 5th grader,
291
292Uber driver, takes a wrong turn, youTubers, uber driver kidnapped us, seriously, lighve footage,
293
294Listening at a high volume for a long time may damage your hearing, tap ok-to allow-the volume-to-be increased above safe levels, me, I don’t remember asking you a god damn thing,
295
296Nobody, minecraft villagers,
297
298Private-social media accounts of my crush, me, let me in, let me in,
299
300
301When you realize-the mods are going-to have end game spoiled for-them-to protect us,
302
303Hey, sorry I had a lot of shit going on, how has your day-been, I said, how-the fuck has-it-been bitch,
304
305When you’re eight-and jump down-the four last steps, par core,
306
307Me, may I use-the bathroom, my teacher, I don’t know, can yuh wait-what, me, my strateegical mind-beats you in every way possible,
308
309Germany, fixes one broken down helicopter, literally-the entire world, is-that a threat,
310
311When you try-to pass a silent fart in public-and end up shitting your pants, into exile, I must go, failed, I-have,
312
313Everything, exists, black holes, this-is-some serious gourmet shit,
314
315Normal-song, exists, trap nation,
316
317Me, watches movie with very brief sex scene, my parents who I-haven’t seen all day,
318
319 Top 10 people ighn stighn was scared-to face,
320
321Nobody, tech youTubers,
322
323People, stops vaccinating kids, medieval diseases, ah shit, here we go again,
324
325Rich people, poor people, your actually a savage-if you pressed read more, now you-have great luck in 2019, like-to activate,
326
327Y’all, four twenty, me, an intellectual, one fifth,
328
329Life kicked my ass-today, it’s not gonna kick my ass-tomorrow, never mind-it’s kicking my ass,