skm6T3ad

1The goal of this essay is to draft a sketch of the world created by the CYOA "World of Whorecraft" (version 1.4) by the one and only TokHaar Gol, and what one could reasonably expect in it. Since it is a CYOA, there is only so much canon to work with, therefore more than a few assumptions must be made, for which the author begs your understanding and, should there be great difference in opinion and/or assessment, your forgiveness. This essay is in no way, shape, or form, intended to set rules or standards when playing the CYOA, only to provide food for thought.
2
3**Page 1 - Starting with the Foundations**
4
5It is important for us to remember that the ones making World of Whorecraft possible are the 7 archdemons of sin. It allows us to better understand the rules of the game and predict the future.
6
7For starters, one must wonder: if the first 100 are magic'd back into their old lives (presumably to the moment they launched the game), what happens to the rest? If the 7 archdemons of sin had the means of covering up the sudden death/disappearance of millions of players, they should reasonably have the means of harvesting all souls on the planet and not waste their time.
8
9The only logical, efficient answer to this (without altering the text) is that each player's Earth-side body is taken over either by a demon or a magical equivalent of an AI, which will either cause trouble or mimic the individual's personality so accurately that they are hard to distinguish, especially as time passes.
10
11Now that we have everything on the Earth side of things settled, let's discuss the archdemons: what's the objective? The intention seems to be to create an entire world where rape is just around the corner but as with all things involving Hell, it's probably not that simple. The Apocalypse comes to mind, which immediately brings up the topic of recruitment, which would make sense. After all, anyone who could forge an empire within such a hostile, ever-changing realm would be a worthy addition to the ranks of Hell. Bottom line is, though, that there are millions of souls out of reach of Heaven. A win-win either way.
12
13They wouldn't advertise their recruitment, however, because that would be seen as an avenue of escape, which goes against Hell's recruitment principles: you want the conquerors, not the runners. In all likelihood they would wait for several decades until approaching anyone, and even then they'd do it quietly, either with a terrifying NDA or with memory wiping to keep things quiet afterwards.
14
15For the sake of completion, it might be important to note that Meredith Vickers is a fictional character from the revised Alien setting, Prometheus. This would logically mean that we're deciding the fate of our fictional selves, which could lead to some Inception-level shenanigans if one enjoys such rides.
16
17When it comes to the races, they could all be reasonably explained into why they are players and thus classified as adventurers, but since the Horde and Alliance are NPC factions, just like the Mag'har and the Burning Legion, two questions come to mind: to whom do PCs owe allegiance to by default and what are the starting zones? Both of which birth a third: what is the starting date?
18
19To illustrate the importance of this lengthy thought process, let's look at several examples. A Mag'har Orc could logically start in Orgrimmar but if the game is set before the Mag'har Orcs join the Horde then they would start in Outland, cut off from the rest of the players until an event or even an expansion opens the Dark Portal. Draenei would always start in the Exodar, but depending on the time, the Exodar itself could still be in mid-transit or just minutes after crash-landing. The Vrykul would alway start in Northrend but if it's before the fall of the Lich King then it would be very hard for them to leave. Lastly, some of these starting locations are higher level zones that do not allow for the traditional leveling process that begins at level 1.
20
21The first question is important because without the oppressive "Red vs Blue" setup, the political landscape of the setting can be altered by player choice. At no point in the CYOA is it set in stone that important NPCs like faction leaders are immortal, or that any faction is immutable. So suddenly the Alliance and the Horde are about as coherent as the UN, meaning that each faction can and will play its own politics. For instance, it is entirely possible that the Orcs of Orgrimmar can reach an agreement with the Night Elves of Kalimdor with regards to lumber harvesting and forestry, because the Night Elves, by pre-WoW canon, are more practical about nature than in their WoW depiction.
22
23The default answer to the question is simple: to your race. Simply because both continents have only recently survived a full-scale demonic invasion, reducing population across the globe to the last few dozen percentiles (or worse). Population density wasn't high to begin with but with leftover demons and Scourge roaming the land, what few remain of each species gather in their last strongholds and start over there. So logically, the default assumption is that you are on the same team as your race. Then again, this isn't so simple, and it ties into the starting location issue.
24
25Your starting location will determine your first ~20 or so levels, especially since traveling became its own issue due to the World of Whorecraft operating on a proper planet. There are no guarantees that Zeppelins still fly and ships still sail, only that the mail function still exists, magically (if it had a physical execution, with caravans and post carts, that would open up an entire new can of worms that we here, thankfully, can avoid). There are, however, maps that are more or less accurate geographically but most certainly not in any other way, which, combined with mounts allow traveling to an extent (you can't visit other continents and travel time will be significantly longer than in WoW, just like IRL if you wanted to cover long distances on horseback). Therefore, your starting zone not only limits the zones you have reasonably quick access to but also the people (PCs and NPCs) and situations you're stuck with). In short, it makes an incredible amount of difference (so much so I'm surprised it's not part of the CYOA in some fashion).
26
27And thus we arrive to the "when" of the game. Since Mag'har, Blood Elves, Death Knights, Draenei, and others are on the list, it is certain that at least parts of the *content* of several expansions are present in the game but that doesn't help us narrow down our starting date. Or to tell how much of the canon was changed by the archdemons to suit their purposes. However, the most logical option, from a content creation perspective, would be to start a few years after the events of Frozen Throne, like WoW itself. This would allow the recycling of years of content and keeping things fresh for longer. Lastly, it bears mentioning that the archdemons could introduce time skips at any point if it suited their purposes.
28
29When population distribution in an MMO is on the table, guilds aren't far away. It is pointless to be in a guild if you are the only one in Kalimdor because the rest of the guild decided that the 2% stat increase of humans is too good to pass up. It is also pointless to create a guild with global ambitions without being able to establish a global presence, which goes against the covert training going on by Hell because a tiny world can't foster great ambitions, and without great ambitions you are stuck with the lukewarm soup of mediocrity.
30
31It is at this juncture where the first assumption is made: players can choose their starting locations at character creation and are expected to provide a short explanation for it, or the game (read: the archdemons) will. This will also determine their starting allegiance. Starting locations are limited to those existing in WoW, with a few additions (which need not be specified here). Players will get to choose their starting factions and guilds get to distribute their members in a more organized fashion. Each race/player has a more or less sensible explanation how they ended up in their starting location and why the local faction accepted them.
32
33**Defeat, Crime, and Social Order**
34
35While the CYOA strongly implies a world full of rapists, even if we take the dimmest possible look at WoW players, only a fraction of them are the type who, given the opportunity, would go that far when consensual options are readily available. If the population of 4chan's /d/ board were put in World of Whorecraft then the numbers would be more chilling but WoW players are, in overwhelming numbers, not into rape.
36
37So what we have is a more or less manageable bunch of people, the majority of whom have more or less accepted that they won't be in the first 100, so they settle in for the long haul, and with true immortality, it's a *very* long haul. Naturally, there will be those who cannot handle their new reality (in every sense of the word), who will certainly need some form of care or at least asylum, but it's the destructive elements that will draw the most attention, for obvious reasons.
38
39With Hearthstones and various teleportation methods available, it is only a matter of time until a powerful enough guild or alliance of guilds builds a stasis prison where the worst offenders are locked away for eternity. If that is not possible then a hidden dungeon will be built, where a noxious gas permeates the place, inflicting damage every 0.5 seconds, thus denying any and all attempts at teleportation. A budget version would be to dig pits several dozen meters deep, fill it with the gas, throw in new offenders during their defeated status, then seal the hatch that is designed specifically for this use. They need not be fed or cared for in any way since they cannot die. It is only a matter of time until the prisoner within will abandon all hope and break as they keep floating to the brink of death but never crossing into the peace it would offer. There could be entire systems of reeducation built around this but it need not be detailed here - the point was to illustrate that eventually, undesired/unsanctioned PvP conflicts will be quelled, one way or the other, and the rules for player conduct will be established, as always, by those with the power and reason to do so.
40
41**Guilds and their Role**
42
43No single entity can achieve what a group of cooperating entities can - it is a simple law of the universe, and the foundation of guilds as well. While in WoW any group of individuals could sustain a guild, in World of Whorecraft they are integral parts of maintaining a lifestyle above that of an unwilling sex slave. Therefore, a guild that cannot provide for its own or has a mission that doesn't directly support that will either languish in apathy or disintegrate entirely.
44
45- Pandora's Garden
46It is important to note that while this is the go-to guild if you want to get back to your Earth-side life, it is also home to the most diehard minmaxers and powergamers who want to be the real top players and not just for the year but for all time. Therefore the guild has two facets: one where the most desperate and determined gather to launch themselves out of this world, and one that cares about little more than being the top dogs. By consequence, this will create a hardcore and satellite members, the former of whom decide on guild policy, the latter of whom act as the race horses of the current season.
47
48Pandora's Garden will be a major player in the world. When it comes to dealing with a PvE threat, they are the best at dealing with it but also the ones that are hardest to hire for it if they themselves don't have some reason to. Their core membership will only grow slowly but each new addition will be a champion among champions. The rest are like race horses in a stable, kept around as long as they perform, with the top 100 taking the winning prize, the rest getting thrown out or offered a position of varying import within the guild (after all, this guild has to deal with a lot of HR business).
49
50- Gatekeepers, Sargeras' Legacy, Amazon Warriors
51
52We've already covered the rapist to non-rapist ratio and the inevitable response to undesired/unsanctioned PvP actions, so we can cover these three quickly. While naturally each of them has its unique traits, they are all, in the end, PvP guilds with a violent, dominating mindset, and as such, are very likely to be reduced to minor guilds - essentially pirates and raiders operating in areas the bigshots don't/can't cover. Depending on how the NPCs operate, it is entirely possible that a faction leader whose people were harmed by them to a severe enough degree will put a bounty on their heads and demand their imprisonment. It is also likely, depending on how a long list of things play out, that they will be able to maintain a small, tight-knit group.
53
54The Gatekeepers are doomed to fail. While their concept is sound, the end goal of griefing would only work in actual MMOs, not in the reality of World of Whorecraft.
55
56Sargeras' Legacy can go in two major directions: one is down the drain with the Gatekeepers, the other is to become a mercenary group with a warlike mindset, which could, in theory, make them an alternative to Pandora's Garden, depending on the quality of players in the guild.
57
58The Amazon Warriors are a fetish group, and will exist on that level at best, or be hunted down like the Gatekeepers.
59
60- Scales of Justice
61
62It is evident that the Scales will become a major guild, one way or the other. However, it is a brave assumption that their Log Horizon-style plan will work, since it hinges on the banks and auction houses being for sale, which is an unlikely prospect, since they operate in very game-y ways and are thus most likely to be under NPC control, permanently. Besides, why would the NPC owners sell it to PCs who themselves are their chief customers and thus greatest source of income?
63
64For their purposes, it would be far more effective if they bought the inns, and through them, the innkeepers, and thus control the use of Hearthstones, which anyone with two brain cells to rub together will have picked up. This could be exploited for their police work in a wide array of ways.
65
66- The Horde
67
68This one is complicated because it is heavily affected by unforeseeable variables. Since the world's sentient species aren't comfortably far away from extinction, all factions would welcome breeders - if the families could sustain themselves, because gold might be plentiful but food isn't equally available. Since inter-species reproduction isn't on D&D levels in WoW, it can only be assumed that the Horde will have the majority of its members in Durotar, with a the occasional stable in a few other starting locations.
69
70What really makes them complicated is that the CYOA states that if a player is either the father or the mother, the offspring will be a player - while this hopefully doesn't mean a random soul from Earth getting sucked into world, it does beg the question: who will this be? A random AI personality like the NPCs? A random soul snatched from elsewhere? If so, will they be reincarnating consciously, like the original players, or unconsciously, meaning that they will grow up like any other baby, then when they become adults they suddenly have the game interface to work with? Lastly, while the guild's description is clear about what the new players' fate will be, what if they refuse?
71
72It is also a possibility that the Horde will not handle the realities of its goals as well as they thought. Initially, the Horde will most likely avoid forceful breeding, and stick to more traditional methods of establishing families. Once the members start their families and have their first child, each of them will face the reality of parenthood, that they have a hearth and home to protect, that they have loved ones to care for. It is impossible to predict how strongly will this affect how large percentage of the guild's population but there is a very real chance that the Horde could become a very different guild, a protective, constructive one, that seeks to build a future for their families and their descendants.
73
74- Trade Federation
75
76It is easy to see the appeal in the Trade Federation and why it will become one of the major guilds. All players come from a society that valued a long list of skills, and landed in a world where any skill they have the option of choosing can provide them a decent living even if they never leave home after hitting max level (if even that). This is one of the go-to guilds if you want the least amount of risks in life.
77
78It is also logical that the guild's base appeal will give them enough raw numbers that it really will be foolish to stay independent as a crafter, and will quickly gobble up smaller trade skill-focused guilds. Again it requires little imagination to see that in a very short time, the Trade Federation will be one of the richest guilds (if not the richest) and command the best professional know-how that players can hope to reach or hire.
79
80While there is much more to be said about the Trade Federation, it is best left for a later, more specific chapter.
81
82- Red Rose District
83
84The RRD, like any and all violent guild, will quickly face a choice similar to that of Sargeras' Legacy: either they will be hunted down to the last unrepentant member or they will adapt.
85
86If they do adapt then they will be in a rough starting position: bad reputation and selling an easily available product (sex). It is at this point that the Trade Federation will most likely come in and absorb the guild, since sex is just another item on their list of services. RRD simply doesn't have the means to compete with the Trade Federation, and will either disintegrate or be absorbed by it.
87
88- Adventurers' Guild
89
90Like the Horde, this guild can go a number of ways, in this case based on the players it starts with. The better the players, the better the guild, that is a known rule, but for the Adventurers' Guild, it is the deciding factor.
91
92If they can attract a large enough chunk of expert players with builds to match then they can challenge Pandora's Garden for supremacy and create competition in a field that would otherwise be monopolized by Pandora's Garden, thus becoming a major guild.
93
94If they cannot then the guild will likely have trouble holding onto members in the face of the Scales of Justice's expansion and world police ambitions.
95
96This could be solved if the guild had a charismatic leadership who could rally the members and forge them into a flexible, efficient, professional mercenary outfit.
97
98Whatever the case, the Adventurers' Guild will find itself in strong agreement with the Scales of Justice, though while the Scales are more like a traditional police force, the Guild is more like an organized group of vigilantes who will happily take up bounties aimed at rapists and other evildoers, PCs and NPCs alike. If they have the skill and leadership necessary then they have a guaranteed seat among the major guilds.
99
100- League of Shadows
101
102This is one of those guilds whose premise sounds amazing but then you factor in the realities of player demographics and conclude that it's bound to fail or become a hugbox for delusional edgelords at best - unless it doesn't turn out that way.
103
104Continuing this supposition (because the other chain of thought ended then and there), the League of Shadows has a greater market than one would initially imagine. In a world as scarred as this one, where the remaining population is largely gathered in a few select centers, roughly 80% of the world, although geographically charted, remain covered in the fog of war. A guild dealing in information is powerful indeed, especially in a world so known yet unknown as World of Whorecraft.
105
106If the League has the leadership, organization, and personnel to do the things it set out to do, it will succeed - except the grey eminence part, that will inevitably fail, simply because players will know that the League exists and there's no real way of ruling this world, only readying oneself for the next shenanigan. A king among prisoners is still a prisoner in the end.
107
108Ultimately, the League is a wildcard, even more so than the Horde or the Adventurers' Guild, because it's do or die for them on day 1. If they do have the leadership, organization, and personnel to run an information broker guild, they either somehow gain enough members to catapult them into major guild status or will be absorbed by the Trade Federation, becoming a monstrously powerful guild.
109
110Unless, you know, it's just a bunch of deluded edgelords and crime novel enthusiasts.
111
112- Coven of Pleasure
113
114While their peaceful ways make them a lot more appealing than Red Rose District, they will share the same fate as RRD if RRD chose to reform: absorbed by the Trade Federation because sex is just another item on their list of services. CoP doesn't have the interest or resources to protect itself from the larger world, so what do they have to lose by agreeing to the merger? Nothing. Lose? Quite a bit more.
115
116- Mega Milk Corp
117
118TL;DR absorbed by the Trade Federation.
119
120MMC will not only not have the starting numbers to be a threat to anyone but it will also put itself on the radar with its abductions of players with the Delicious Fluids Perk, which will inevitably bring the hammer down on them, forcing them to either disband or adapt, which in turn leads straight to the Trade Federation's doors.
121
122- The Grand Alliance
123
124Since there's plenty of empty territory no one in a hundred years will come and claim (the yearly expansions notwithstanding), it will be of next to no consequence that a group of people moved out into the wilderness to start their ERP kingdom. They are unlikely to attract the membership numbers necessary to reach major guild status, and their lifestyle makes then inconsequential as long as you stay out of their territory, so the rest of the world will barely remember that they even exist. Their dreams of world domination will perish the moment they look around themselves and see guilds with departments bigger than the entire Grand Alliance.
125
126- Cult of Kek
127
128Another guild doomed to fail, not just for their penchant for creating trouble. While chatting in the forums during character generation, it is reasonable to look at World of Whorecraft as a game. However, when facing the sheer unavoidable, irrefutable reality of it, it takes a very specific mind to maintain that "it's just a game" outlook, and those tend to end up on the Scales' black list.
129
130- Nazjatar Empire
131
132An excellent concept on paper that gets increasingly murkier the more you think about it. Due to their hidden and hard to reach lairs, Nazjatar would be the most resilient thorn in the Scales' side - however, would Nazjatar have the numbers, skills, or gear to keep up with the Scales? While leveling on griefing is a more than viable strategy, where would this guild level up? How would they progress in the given expansion's content?
133
134Another question is shockingly simple: what if they start in actual Nazjatar, with Azshara as their queen? What if they don't start there but Azshara notices them and demands their loyalty?
135
136Make no mistake: Nazjatar Empire has a lot of potential, it just relies on very specific variables whose values cannot be foreseen with the data available. They can end up in a lightless, deep sea nightmare for eternity, or they could become *the* pirate guild of the world.
137
138- The Swarm
139
140There are two touchy unresolved questions in this guild's plan: can bugs reproduce with the playable races? And can the guild control the bugs they bred?
141
142If the answer to the first question is a "yes" then the world is definitely in a lot of trouble. If "no", then the entire guild will collapse or simply huddle up in their hives and have sex with bugs with little to no care about the rest of the world, and thus becoming inconsequential.
143
144If the answer to the second question is "yes" then the guild is a catastrophe waiting to happen, although it is possible that the rulers of Ahn'Quiraj would object to it in a decisive manner. If "no" then it is still not much better, if at all, because then the guild acts as an organized group of infiltrators that kidnaps breeders for the hives and fetches them anything else they would need from the civilized world.
145
146They are easily the most wildcard guild: either they are irrelevant or easily the final boss of an expansion.
147
148**Guild Politics**
149
150As you have surely guessed by now, the Trade Federation, the Scales of Justice, the Adventurers' Guild, and Pandora's Garden have all the prerequisites to forge an alliance: shared interests (world stability to achieve personal and financial security), complimentary assets, and compatible goals and views. These 4 guilds will be able to muster the manpower and resources necessary to shut down violent guilds or force them into submission and create a sustainable world for all players.
151
152This outcome could be delayed if the more rape-y guilds teamed up but not by much. While these guilds certainly have their appeal, they all lose to the demographic traits of the WoW playerbase. If that were the opposite then so would the results, though the Trade Federation would still be a major guild just operating more like the mafia.
153
154It would be folly, however, to believe for a second that this alliance of guilds would be the rulers of the world: not only would each expansion challenge that claim but each NPC faction out there as well, who are definitely not powerless to deal with PCs (though such a conflict would ruin both sides and thus should be avoided by anyone with a shred of common sense).
155
156**Summary**
157
158While the World of Whorecraft is certainly not nearly as rape-y as the CYOA communicates, it is not without its dangers, many of them deeply scarring. Consider, for instance, the difficulties of a raid encounter, which traditionally require several wipes from even the top teams IRL before they could be cleared - imagine that happening to the minmaxed members of Pandora's Garden, who spent Character Points in the 3 digits on bondage items and defeat status duration to afford all the buffs and advantages they could get.
159
160When playing this CYOA, there really are 3 broad categories you will fit into: PvP specialist, PvE specialist (think raid guilds and world questers), and civilians (you intend to spend most your time in a safe zone). It is best to decide which you're going for early on, it will make your job a lot more self-explanatory.
161
162I hope this helped you in some way or perhaps entertained you. If you've read this far you have both my thanks and heartfelt appreciation.