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1https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdO-q7yvlY4
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3I dedicate this channel and this video
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5to the loving memory of Miss Natalie
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7Annabel white aka clover of clover s
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9ASMR today would have been Natalie's
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1121st birthday
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13unfortunately Natalie died on September
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152 21st when I found out she passed away
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17I was very surprised to see how very
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19little was written about her other than
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21the typical negative comments that she
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23got all the time from people it just
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25surprised me to think that someone who
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27gave so much of herself to this
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29community really didn't get mentioned to
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31very much at all in a positive light so
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33I just felt that I wanted to share my
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35feelings about her and how she impacted
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37my life in a positive way and how much I
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39loved her Channel and her as a person
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41she was a lovely young lady that really
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43didn't deserve the comments that she got
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45she was a troubled woman that had some
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47ups and downs in her life and like
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49anyone that young it becomes difficult
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51sometimes to deal with life and the
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53things that happen to you and so she was
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55no different than anyone else in that
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57way but she was a beautiful creative
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59talented young woman who had so much
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61potential to do so many great things for
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63the people who didn't tune in until much
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65later in her career you probably weren't
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67even aware of how much filmmaking and
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69YouTube and everything like that meant
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71to her I mean she was so into filmmaking
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73it was such an important thing it was
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75her dream to become a filmmaker and an
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77actress and
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79she unfortunately never got to realize
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81that to its full potential she did
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83somewhat make films because the I told
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85her once that I thought that her videos
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87were like little mini films sort of like
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89little art house of OnGuard type films
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91kind of an Andy Warhol approach to
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93filmmaking you know I felt like they
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95were more than just ASMR videos most
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97days some artists would just get like a
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99green screen and do some kind of role
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101play with a background behind them and
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103have some dialogue whispered into the
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105microphone but I felt like her stuff was
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107very unique and weird unusual like she
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109would have a different approach than
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111most for example like the video she made
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113called um focus where it was really just
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115her moving around and causing the camera
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117to change focus and then you would get
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119the sound of the motor or whatever from
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121the lens I thought that was such a
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123unique and different idea you know very
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125Andy Warhol ish in my opinion so um it
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127was just those kind of ideas like that
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129that she would come out with that other
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131people thought were just lazy ideas like
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133oh yeah you know you just wanted to
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135knock out a videos he just put something
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137on like that but I don't really think
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139that that was the case I think that it
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141was just something that she would say
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143hmm I wonder what would happen if I do
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145this or whatever you know come up with
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147an idea and she wasn't afraid to take a
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149chance on something different I told her
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151my favorite video from her was I'm sorry
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153which was like a 10 or 15 minute video
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155of her just saying I'm sorry into the
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157camera but it wasn't just I'm sorry it
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159was like she played around with the
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161audio so she would had had it speaking
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163backwards and forwards and it she got
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165these really weird effects out of it you
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167know changing the pitch of her voice or
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169whatever it was just very unique and if
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171and it to me it stood out and then it
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173that you know she had this gaze like you
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175really felt like she was connecting with
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177you the way she would look at a camera
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179was so intense and she would stare into
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181it and you just felt like you she was
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183looking right at you you know but um
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185that video I'm sorry was funny because
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187after you know like whatever amount of
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189times she said I'm sorry at the very end
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191she's like I'm not sorry and then gives
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193you the finger and I was like that's
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195typical clover right there that's my
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197girl and then it go it fades the black
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199and it's like maybe a minute of black
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201and I'm like oh she forgot to edit that
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203out what is this you know the first time
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205I saw it I was like what is this and
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207then finally she comes back with some
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209more backwards speak at the end I was
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211like I was like so funny I loved it I
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213told her that I also loved deleting
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215emails with Hillary to me that was just
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217so hilarious how she had like the furry
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219background and you know like it's like
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221this Illuminati kind of thing going on
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223there and then and then the line
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225politics is a rough game not really not
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227when you love people but I definitely
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229hate people I love that line I think
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231it's so funny so yeah she would just
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233make things that were so different you
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235know I told her you know if it was just
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237about the banana video you would have
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239been gone a long time ago people like
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241you they like what you do it's different
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243you know and and you know ASMR was
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245relatively new at the time when she came
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247on the scene so it wasn't like there was
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249a lot of
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251choices in it it was like everybody was
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253kind of doing the same thing they were
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255doing like tapping and you know crinkles
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257and all that kind of stuff it we weren't
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259at the ear heating period yet or the
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261other stuff that people do now with
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263these 3do microphones and things
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265it was just like basic stuff so you know
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267right away she I mean she started out
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269like that with relaxation creations but
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271it wasn't long after that that she got
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273bored with just basic ASMR cuz she
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275always used to say I don't even know why
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277people tune in to my a some arts not
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279very good anyways but I said no it's not
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281really about that that's not what people
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283want from you it's the comedy it's your
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285candidness the way you approach things
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287you know your connection to people in
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289general it's you know so I feel like she
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291just really didn't realize how we felt
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293about her because she was just paying
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295attention to the trolls and all the
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297negative comments and things like that
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299and you know what's unfortunate about
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301this whole thing is that she was such a
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303sensitive person and she would try to
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305act like it didn't bother her she'd be
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307like I don't care what you people say
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309whatever but it really did bother her it
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311bothered her a lot she was so hurt by
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313some of those comments made and even
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315that at you know close to the end of her
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317life one of the I think it was either a
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319message in her comment section or or the
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321last video she did somebody was like
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323kill yourself you know and all that kind
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325of stuff she says like you know I really
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327didn't appreciate the kill yourself
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329comments that you guys were leaving but
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331you know she understood that that was
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333part of YouTube I mean there's trolls
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335and people are gonna do things like that
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337it's just you know part of being in
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339social media I guess or online in
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341general
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343so it was kind of sad that that was
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345happening to her and I felt like she
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347often was affected by the criticism and
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349would take breaks from YouTube because
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351she would be beat up by all of these
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353things you know then in her personal
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355life she had a lot of adversity with
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357whatever was going on at home and the
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359fights or whatever you know so I know
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361that she got her content deleted a few
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363times and I could understand you know
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365sometimes parents want to protect their
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367children because they feel like they're
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369not making the decisions that they
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371should and you know they're not
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373realizing the effects of their choices
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375and so they try to metal thinking that
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377they're gonna help them but you know and
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379sometimes it's just not the right thing
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381to do so I felt bad because when she
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383lost her content on clover s ASMR I
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385think that really changed it for her
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387like it's like she started to feel like
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389she didn't really care anymore because
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391you know like she had a viral video you
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393know and it was like four million seven
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395hundred thousand views and that's
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397something that was you know like her
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399badge of honor like she had accomplished
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401that and and it's something that you
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403probably wouldn't even be able to do
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405again because of the climate on YouTube
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407there's no way that you would ever be
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409able to come out with a video of that
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411subject matter and go viral anymore just
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413wouldn't be promoted so it was something
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415that she was very proud to see the views
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417for that video you know and then when it
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419was taken down it was like she lost
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421everything really you know so
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423fortunately I was able to get all her
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425videos back because I was her personal
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427archiver so I was I
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429had all the videos that she ever made so
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431I was able to give those back to her and
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433then she made the archive channel now my
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435intention with this channel is to show
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437some of the videos that weren't shown or
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439either were like live streams that
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441people didn't get to see because she
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443probably deleted it you know the next
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445day or whatever but I feel to understand
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447Natalie better these videos show her and
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449a light that a lot of people didn't see
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451the more candid and personal side of her
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453because she was very given of herself
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455and very personal you know she was very
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457spontaneous and impulsive if you know
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459her so if she was hurting if she was
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461lonely she would go live and express
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463what was happening to her and some of
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465them were very touching moments that
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467were caught on film that I was fortunate
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469enough to capture when when she did go
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471live I felt like I got to know her
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473mostly through these live streams more
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475than her work and the videos because
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477they she Natalie was very very personal
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479like she was the kind of person that was
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481very candid about her life she did
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483express herself you know a lot of
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485youtubers are very private and don't
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487really share anything about their
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489personal lives her life was completely
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491on display she was a kind of person that
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493wanted to share with her community and
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495often paid the price for that because
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497trolls would attack her and criticize
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499her and people would leave really cruel
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501messages and then you know when she had
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503bad times and she would wind up
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505in some kind of mess she was just
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507crucified publicly by the audience which
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509was it was like she kind of grew up on
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511front of a camera you know like so
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513you're gonna make a lot of mistakes when
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515you're young and so I just felt like she
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517didn't deserve that she was such a sweet
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519person and cared about people
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521she loved YouTube and it was her life
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523she often said YouTube is my life she
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525would get angry when people would attack
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527her and then tell a math fuck off and
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529you know like and the end the stream and
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531then the next day she would come back
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533and say I can't quit this I just love it
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535too much you know it's my dream and I
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537gave up so much for this so there's no
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539way I'm just gonna walk away from it
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541even if I'm not getting any money you
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543know I just want to do it cuz I love it
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545so much as I said she wanted to be a
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547filmmaker that was her dream and I think
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549she would have been a good one too if
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551she was given the opportunity and things
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553didn't go the way you did for her
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555unfortunately also as I mentioned when
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557all her content got deleted
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559I felt like she just lost the love for
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561it like she really didn't even care
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563about it anymore so even when I got it
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565back for her she was kind of like yeah
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567whatever you know I guess I'll put it on
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569an archive channel because people are
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571asking about these videos and whatever
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573so she did it for the fans you know to
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575give them back as people were going
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577crazy you know there were videos that
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579they really loved that they said that
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581helped them sleep and which I can't
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583imagine how but but um she was like yeah
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585I'm gonna I'm gonna put him on an
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587archive channel so everyone can you know
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589enjoy them again the ones who love them
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591but unfortunately since she really
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593didn't care she didn't bother to try to
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595put the original thumbnails back or the
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597descriptions she just didn't care enough
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599to put all that extra work to restore
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601everything the way it was she just kind
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603of loaded them up and
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605back on the channel so I have some of
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607the descriptions which were often even
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609funnier than the actual video you know
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611it was like hilarious stuff you would
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613write so I'm going to be re uploading
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615our content and try to preserve what it
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617originally was I did find a lot of the
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619thumbnails - from the original videos
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621and I felt like she was very creative in
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623that - our thumbnails were really
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625interesting so I'll be uploading the
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627videos with the digital descriptions and
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629the thumbnails and then also like I said
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631the live streams that were you know that
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633were those beautiful moments and
63415:33
635touching moments of her life also I know
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637that she had a musically and those were
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639really great - but I don't remember the
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641name of the profile so I wasn't able to
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643locate it if anybody remembers the name
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645of her musically I would really love to
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647see those again I just want to say too
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649that this channel is an open forum
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651I will never delete anyone's comments or
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653flag anything or whatever you know I
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655just feel like you say what you want to
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657say I said what I wanted to say about
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659her and you're free to have an opinion
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661of your own I just want this to be a
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663place that celebrates the woman that she
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665was and all the great things that she
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667did for this community so if you have
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669any testimonials that you wish to give
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671via video or audio
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673you can hit me up on Clovis forever at
67416:40
675gmail.com and I will review it and if I
67616:45
677think it's appropriate I will upload it
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679to this channel so happy birthday
68016:52
681Natalie Annabel White aka clover mean
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683Queen banana bitch
68416:59
685the clover s you will never be forgotten
68617:03
687you will always be clover s forever
68817:09
689thank you for watching
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691[Music]
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693[Music]
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695[Music]
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697you