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1Life is short, death is long.
2You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
3If you don't know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere.
4It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
5People would worry less about what others think of them if they only realised how seldom they do.
6Expectations are for the unsure.
7The best time to plant an oak tree is 20 years ago, the next best time is right now!
8I am sorry I offended you - I should have lied.
9The tip you leave now for lunch would have bought you one twenty years ago.
10Praise can be your most valuable asset as long as you don't aim it at yourself.
11The cruelest disappointment is when you let yourself down
12Choose well. Your choice is brief, and yet endless.
13The past is history. Tomorrow's a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.
14If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.
15Give a man a fish, feed him for a day, teach a man to fish, feed him for life.
16Common sense is not that common.
17Happy laughter and family voices in the home will keep more kids off the streets at night than the strictest curfew.
18Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
19The fastest way to find something you've lost is to replace it.
20How many cans can a canner can if a canner can can cans? A canner can can as many cans as a canner can if a canner can can cans.
21Remember that failure is an event - not a person.
22A man who is attracted by your mental appearance loves you more than a man who is attracted by your physical appearance.
23Some people grumble because roses have thorns. Be thankful instead that thorns have roses.
24Having your lawyer pay for lunch will be very expensive in the end.
25Fear grows from what we don't know, faith comes from what we do.
26Every time a report comes about the dangers of second-hand cigarette smoke, he goes around blowing smoke in people's faces.
27Don't marry for money - you can borrow it cheaper.
28Nobody is perfect....I am Nobody!!!
29Selflessness is the highest achievement
30People are not in touch with reality, if they think they are important
31Astronomers do it under the stars.
32A good friend see the first tear, catches the second and stops the third.
33You can win more friends with your ears than you can with your mouth!
34Tom threw Tim three thumbtacks.
35You can turn dollars into cents, and sense into dollars, though not dollars into sense.
36Hiccup teacup!
37Six sick sea-serpents swam the seven seas.
38Nine nimble noblemen nibbled nuts
39Sex is the question, no is the answer.
40Moose noshing much mush.
41Take a slow boat to china.
42The big bad baby brought the bought black blanket back
43Boredom sets into boring minds.
44When you play with fire, you're gonna get burned.
45Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.
46Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
47A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
48The idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
49he got screwed (cheated).
50We often see further through a tear, than through a telescope.
51Sing like you know the words; dance like no one's watching; and love like it's never going to hurt.
52I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
53They just ran out of brains by the time you got there, so they gave you a nice wood carving instead.
54If life deals you a lemon, make lemonade.
55Having the right to do it, doesn't mean it is right to do it.
56happy smoke (marijauna).
57Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're getting.
58Good leaders are like baseball umpires; they go practically unnoticed when doing their jobs right.
59deep, dark jungle.
60Love is that condition in which the happiness of another is essential to your own.
61Astronomers do it variably.
62You can't get to the top by sitting on your bottom.
63easy come, easy go.
64Excuse For Not Having Math Homework: Isaac Newton's birthday.
65Seven sleazy shysters in sharkskin suits sold sheared sealskins to seasick sailors.
66You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
67Doctor, doctor, my hair's coming out.Can you give me something to keep it in?Certainly - how about a paper bag?
68An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
69Don't eat the yellow snow.
70Eleven benevolent elephants
71Clock: A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.
72Excuse For Not Having Math Homework: I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
73Red lorry, yellow lorry
74One who looks for a friend without faults will have none.
75You cound'nt pull a pint, never mind a bird.
76Astronauts do it above the atmosphere.
77If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
78Push yourself to the limit as often as possible
79No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions.
80Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
81Don't get good at doing something if you don't like doing it.
82There those thousand thinkers were thinking how did the other three thieves go through.
83I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
84Dust is a disk's worst enemy.
85bought the farm.
86Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.
87Pray as if everything depended on GOD, Act as if everything depended on yourself!
88Humans are like tea bags. They never realize their strength until they are put in hot water.
89as interesting as two blind men having a conversation in sign language.
90another cliche.
91Success: its an never ending improvement in what you do.
92My best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
93A talent is formed in stillness, a character in the world's torrent.
94The beloved of the Almighty are the rich who have the humility of the poor, and the poor who have the magnanimity of the rich.
95People will accept your idea more readily, if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
96Your children know you love them by your presence, not your presents.
97exact same (whatever) as you.
98Christianity is not a crutch. It's a pair of wings.
99give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime.
100Better late than never!
101Willie's really weary.
102Can't never could do anything. Till could came along and whipped Can't butt... now can't can do a lot.
103Brad's big black bath brush broke.
104You didn't get a brain that day either. They were only handing them out to people who would use them
105I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man.
106Butcher's window: Let me meat your needs.
107God didn't promise us it would be easy or painless; He just promised us it would be worth it!
108Alice asks for axes.
109It is not always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
110Beauty is quite different from charm, beauty is what you notice in a woman, charm is when a woman notices you.
111what are you going to do for a face when the monkey wants his bum back?
112cady is dandy, but liquor is quicker, (Ogden Nash).
113Eighty percent of life's satisfaction comes from meaningful relationships.
114Youth wastes away, but immaturity can last a lifetime.
115You did touch me but didn't feel my pain. Jesus came and touched me and I don't feel the pain any more.
116Well, that beats a jab in the eye with a sharp stick.
117Only boring people get bored.
118If Kantie can tie a tie and untie a tie,
119No man ever injured his eyesight by looking on the bright side of things.
120la via esta duro, amigo.
121To find the person you can truly trust, look no further than the nearest mirror.
122Habit never goes Because if you remove H Abit remains, If you remove A Bit remains, If you remove B It still remains.
123Remember, worth and value are not wrapped up in what you do.You are not a human doing.You are a human being.
124Sign on a church bulletin board: Planning to go to Heaven? Get your flight training here.
125Yellow leather, yellow feather, yellow lemon.
126I have learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
127Here comes twiddle dee and twiddle dum.
128I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
129Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.
130A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
131Inside every large problem there is a small problem struggling to get out.
132You! - OFF my planet!
133The sixth sheik's sixth sheep's sick.
134Killing time murders opportunities.
135Those who admire the freedom of birds have never built a nest.
136Faults are thick when love is thin.
137The willow knows what the storm does not; the power to endure harm outlives the power to inflict it.
138If absence makes the heart grow fonder, some people must really love church.
139If a tree fell in the forest and no one was around, would it make a sound?
140If I can only be with you in my dreams, then I want to sleep forever.
141She sees cheese.
142It is good to be a Christian and you know it, but it is better to be a Christian and show it!
143Sentences that begin with "all women" are never, never true.
144Budgets help you worry before you spend money, as well as, afterward.
145Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't figure out how to fit the bottle in the typewriter.
146feeling bad is just a new sensation.
147What's that got to do with the price of rice in China?
148Space is a dangerous place...especially if it's between your ears!
149I feel like a rat in a cage.
150no pain, no gain.
151If our gifts are not surrendered to God, we tend to beat people over the head with them.
152Remember, don't put it off... Go ahead and do it... If you get to it... And don't do it... You may never get to it.. To do it... Again.
153boob tube (TV).
154The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
155Laugh, Laugh, I thought I'd die.
156I love being free, it's the best way to be.
157Seth at Sainsbury's sells thick socks.
158Live your own life, for you will die your own death.
159Herblock's Law: if it is good, they will stop making it.
160Are our oars oak?
161Love the sinner but hate the sin.
162With prayer as with other gifts from God, it is not what you get that counts, it's what you do with it.
163hurry when you have time, then you'll have time when you are in a hurry.
164Confucius Say: Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
165Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.
166A status symbol is a symbol, not status.
167Murphy's Law isn't recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
168Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of the heart.
169the waiting is the hardest part.
170Confucius Say: Baseball is wrong - man with four balls cannot walk.
171Yesterday is a cancelled cheque. Tomorrow is a promised note. Today is ready cash, use it!
172Anger or hate can be a useful motivating force
173If you can't control the wind, adjust your sail.
174stand up and salute the red, white, and blue.
175You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.
176Don't seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise: seek what they sought.
177A weird thing about humans is we work till we're sick to get a fortune, then pay a fortune to get well again.
178A luxury once enjoyed becomes a necessity.
179A guilty conscience needs no accuser.
180We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
181Black Bugs Bleed Black Blood
182You can't test courage cautiously.
183I rather lose a second in my life, than my life in a second.
184It was a gas!
185He who can take no interest in what is small, will take false interest in what is great.
186And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
187Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a damn.
188If your vision doesn't scare you, then both your vision and your God are too small.
189God had promised salvation to your repentance, but he has not promised tomorrow to your procrastination.
190We may not be what we want to be, but thank God we are not what we used to be.
191It was all so different before everything changed.
192those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
193On a lazy laser raiser lies a laser ray eraser.
194Learning is forging a head.Thinking is foraging a head.
195Worry is interest paid in advance for a debt you many never owe.
196You don't have to blow out anothers candle to make yours shine bright.
197What ails Alex? asks Alice.
198A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense.
199A computer is almost human - except that it does not blame its mistakes on another computer.
200Reading the Bible without meditating on it is like trying to eat without swallowing.
201Trying to squash a rumour is like trying to unring a bell.
202'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
203A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.
204The truth won't be told by the few who know.
205The devil you know is better than the devil you don't know.
206Astronomers do it with long tubes.
207A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have.
208wisdom is not truth.
209Money talks.I'll not deny.I heard it once.It said good-bye.
210There are times when forgetting can be just as important as remembering- and even more difficult.
211He who slings mud looses ground.
212I slit the sheet and the sheet slit me the slit in the sheet was slit by me
213You never lose by loving, you only lose by holding back.
214Don't be afraid of tomorrow, for God has already been there.
215Miss Smith's fish-sauce shop seldom sells shellfish.
216The biggest liar you'll ever have to deal with probably watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
217A dancer goes quick on her beautiful legs; a duck goes quack on her beautiful eggs.
218Nervous as a shrew.
219He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
220Six twin screwed steel steam cruisers.
221Preshrunk silk shirts
222love hurts.
223The sum of human knowledge is not contained in any one language.
224A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
225A little lie is like a little pregnancy it doesn't take long before everyone knows.
226Penny wise, pound foolish.
227God doesn't call people who are qualified. He calls people who are willing, and then He qualifies them.
228Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
229Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
230Excited executioner exercising his excising powers excessively.
231If danger's a step away, safety's step away.
232When they were giving out looks, you thought they said books, and you said "Give me something funny"
233Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.
234There is nothing wrong in having nothing to say, unless you insist on saying it.
235Six crisp snacks.
236Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
237A dog who attends a flea circus most likely will steal the whole show.
238Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
239A good conscience is a soft pillow.
240Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
241I just want to turn on the light and have it work...I don't want to know where the electricity comes from.
242shaken like a baby (scared).
243Two tiny tigers take two taxis to town.
244most people don't even know why they feel they have to work.
245May the Fleas of a Thousand Camels infest one of your Erogenous Zones.
246The safest way to cross life's streets is to hold hands.
247A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
248The best way to beat your enemy is to beat him at politeness.
249You can't prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but can prevent them from building their nest on it.
250Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
251I love you 2 day, I love you 2 morrow, I love you 4 ever.
252The will to win is important, but the will to prepare is vital.
253The deepest waters make the least noise.
254Bones; there are 206 in the human body. No need for dismay, however: two bones of the middle ear have never been broken in a skiing accident.
255Pissed as a fart.
256I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
257Thieves seize skis.
258Immature love: I love you because I need you.Mature love; I need you because I love you.
259When they were giving out heads, you thought they said sheds, and you said "I'd like a nice big wooden one"
260Tie twine to three tree twigs.
261Emotional responses ar as valuable as intellectual responses
262Don't limit your challenges - challenge your limits.
263He heats the knives so his family won't use too much butter.
264The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist.
265Worry is the darkroom in which 'negatives' are developed.
266Working for Alyeska is smoking a joint, the more you suck the higher you get.
267I correctly recollect Rebecca MacGregor's reckoning.
268When I pray, coincidences happen, and when I don't pray, they don't.
269If you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in.
270Busier than a pig on ice.
271Stride and strut goeth before a fall; tried and true goeth before a raise.
272to be or not to be.
273One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.
274Some goals are so worthy, it's glorious even to fail.
275Rory the warrior and Roger the worrier were reared wrongly in a rural brewery.
276don't worry, be happy.
277There are too many people praying for mountains of difficulty to be removed, when what they really need is courage to climb them.
278Bacteria: the only culture some people have.
279In the long run we get no more than we have been willing to risk giving.
280Give according to your income, lest God will make your income like your giving.
281Blessed is he who doesn't show hatefulness over what is lost, but instead, shows gratefulness over what is left.
282the road of life (and endless varitaions).
283We don't want a thing because we have found a reason for it- we find a reason for it because we want it.
284If you can't say something nice, become a reporter.
285The last 7 words of a dying church: "We never did it like that before".
286If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?
287Which rich wicked witch wished the wicked wish?
288Human things must be known to be loved: but Divine things must be loved to be known.
289Sign at the Pavlov Institute: Knock: Please don't ring bell.
290Astronomers do it while gazing at Uranus.
291Bad hands (sports cliche).
292Hugs are not measured by quantity; they are measured by quality.
293A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link.
294battin' your eyes like a toadfrog in a hailstorm.
295No one is responsible for all the things that happen to him, but he is responsible for the way he acts when they do happen.
296Two kinds of people: Those who finish what they start and ...
297Courage is not the absence of fear.Courage is the precence of fear with the capacity to manage and overcome it.
298When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place.
299Sly Sam slurps Sally's soup.
300Shredded Swiss chesse.
301As long as you put in the work, you can own the dream. When the work stops, the dream disappears.
302Rattle your bottles in Rollocks' van.
303Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need do to lose weight is to take a bath.
304yada, yada, yada.
305Have to go like a rushing racehorse.
306Tears will get you sympathy. Sweat will get you results.
307If Stu chews shoes, should Stu choose the shoes he chews?
308A Slice of Pie. i.e. piece of cake.
309Cinnamon aluminum linoleum.
310It is not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog.
311Some minds are like concrete... all mixed up and permanently set.
312Calm is more conductive to creativity than is anxiety
313All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money doesn't buy happiness.
314The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
315didn't even say hello, drop dead.
316Lesser leather never weathered wetter weather better.
317The doctor is not able to operate the notable, because he has no table!
318When you lie with dogs you get fleas.
319Go all out in romance and let the chips fall where they may
320Empty as your head.
321Sunshine city, sunshine city, sunshine city, ...
322You never know where to look when eating a banana.
323I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, and on that slitted sheet I sit.
324that is the way you spell New York.
325When all else fails, read the instructions.
326You are getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
327The more I know the more I know I don't know.
328Women's faults are many, men have just two! Everything they say and everything they do!!!
329Repentance is sorrow for the deed..not for getting caught.
330Like trying to piss up a rope.
331Friendship: a building contract you sign with laughter and break with tears.
332You can blow out a candle, but you can't blow out a fire, once the flame begins to catch, the wind will blow it higher.
333Real wristwatch straps.
334take a hike (go away).
335Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
336Shape up or ship out!
337Even your family can betray you
338Learn from the past Live for today Look for tomorrow Take a nap this afternoon.
339he/she wasn't worth it anyway.
340Blessed is he who, having nothing to say, refrained from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
341Tighter than Dick's hat band.
342Treat anger like gold. Spend it wisely or not at all.
343To be or not to be... I think its a trick question.
344Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
345Susan shineth shoes and socks; socks and shoes shines Susan.
346there's no I in team.
347When the rubber hits the road... (meaning: when it comes down to it).
348I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
349eat my shorts.
350Cheap sheep soup.
351Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
352A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
353Examine what is said, not who speaks.
354Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
355Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
356If you understand something today, it must be obsolete.
357Dogs have masters.Cats have staff.
358My goose is cooked.
359I can get more out of God by believing Him for one minute than by shouting at Him all night.
360Second place is the first loser.
361I am a poet and did not know it.I make a rhyme every time.
362life is so short, I want to experience as much as possible.
363Argyle Gargoyle
364When confronted with a Goliath-sized problem, which way do you respond: "He's too big to hit" or like David, "He's to big to miss"?
365A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
366Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.
367Sex is like nose picking. It's fine as long as you practice it yourself, but it's disgusting watching someone else doing it.
368I am so glad God sees the whole video tape of my life, and not just a snapshot of where I am now.
369The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
370Doctor, doctor, my little boy's swallowed a bullet.What shall I do?Well, for a start, don't point him at me.
371If you decide not to choose then you've already made the wrong choice!
372life sucks, and then you die...
373There are three sides to any story, my side, his side and the truth.
374Round and round the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.
375never place anything bigger in your ear than your elbow.
376He was dead upfront with me.
377Buses stop at bus stations, trains at train stations, my desk has a workstation.
378If God is your co-pilot, switch seats with Him!
379It is not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it.
380They are happiest who have power to gather wisdom from a flower.
381How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
382Confucius Say: War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
383You could better start giving me mouth to mouth, because you just took my breath away!
384A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
385As long as you don't forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy rent-free space in your mind.
386It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
387We can admire what we see, but we can only love what we truly know.
388When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did--in his sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car.
389Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
390He who buys what he does not need steals from himself.
391managing an imaginary menagerie?
392Those we hurt the most are often those we love the most.
393when the work is done, I will have time for myself.
394He who is not grateful for the good things he has would not be happy with what he wishes he had.
395The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
396I am better off alone.
397Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
398A person can fail many times, but they are not really a failure until they start to blame someone else.
399Astronomers do it in the dark.
400At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
401Wild horses couldn't keep me away.
402What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant with twins.
403That dog will hunt.
404Been there, done that.
405Six quick sneezes, six quick sneezes, six quick sneezes
406The myth of Miss Muffet.
407Poor planning on your part does not create an emergency on my part.
408A slimey snake slithered down the sandy sahara.
409Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
410Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out.
411Positive anything is better than negative nothing.
412We occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of us pick ourselves up and hurry on as if nothing happened.
413One often learns more from ten days of agony than from ten years of contentment.
414Keep your head and your heart in the right direction and you will not have to worry about your feet.
415Telling the boss what a good worker you are is worth 1%..showing him is worth 96%.
416No, my powers can only be used for good.
417I'm so hungry I could eat a bear.
418Better to understand little than to misunderstand a lot.
419When we die we leave behind us all that we have and take with us all that we are.
420there will come a day when all the work is finished or when it is too late to finish it.
421A budget is something we go without to stay within.
422Seen on the back of a biker's vest:If you can read this, my wife fell off.
423There is no future in time travel.
424Break a leg.
425Talk is cheap, barbers give it away free with haircuts.
426Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper. It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes thing more acceptable for awhile.
427Was the saw I saw saw in Arkansas.
428Believe your beliefs and doubt your doubts.
429If you find a four-leaf clover, it means you have entirely too much time on your hands.
430We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
431Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
432How about never? Is never good for you?
433No man is a failure who has friends.
434Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
435I was born on a pirate ship - Hold your tounge while saying it.
436it's not the heat, it's the humidity.
437Be of use, but don't be used.
438Nine nice night nymphs.
439I understand that's Animal Magic is your favorite show because so many of your relatives are on it.
440Lord, may others treat me tomorrow as I have treated them today.
441Confucius Say: Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
442Make like the wind and blow out of here.
443We are in danger of forgetting that we cannot do what God does, and that God will not do what we can do.
444I'm all ears.
445I'm a lawyer... "Honest?".. "No, the usual kind.".
446Be beautiful if you can, wise if you want to... But be respected, that is essential.
447May your children be so famous every policeman knows them.
448In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
449Ruth's red roof.
450Some people reach the top of the ladder of success only to find it is leaning against the wrong wall.
451Don't ever slam a door- you may want to go back.
452Put your creed in your deed.
453if the shoe fits, wear it.
454Ink drys, paper burns, but what is written in the soul will last an eternity.
455When they were giving out brains, you thought they said canes, and you said "I won't need one of those"
456Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
457Gus goes by Blue Goose bus.
458hear me now, believe me later.
459Confucius Say: Man who sit on tack get point!
460Come, work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.
461Optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
462If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
463A friend is someone who dances with you in the sunlight and walks beside you in the shadows.
464Hating someone is like burning down your house to get rid of a rat.
465A cup of proper coffee in a copper coffee cup.
466Hi-Tech Traveling Tractor Trailor Truck Tracker
467Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
468I don't take it personally. Every time you open your mouth you offend someone.
469Monkey see, monkey do.
470Too many Christians are no longer fishers of men but keepers of the aquarium.
471Your face is such a mess, you must stop using it to hammer in nails.
472when in doubt, consult your inner child if it doesn't come naturally, leave it.
473Good, better, best. Never rest Until good be better And better best.
474On the other hand, you have different fingers.
475If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
476You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
477There are no strangers in this world, just friends we've never met.
478I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
479Where will you be sitting in eternity--smoking or non-smoking?
480Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has courage to lose sight of the shore.
481Your barn door is open.
482dead in the water.
483Break a leg!
484I don't know for sure, I'm guessing....
485no problem, it's a cinch.
486Go peddle your peppers elsewhere.
487Silence is golden, and example is the best teacher, so is a silent example a golden teacher, ..... or is a silent teacher a golden example?
488Golden Rule: Those who have the gold rule.
489Fat people are harder to kidnap.
490shooter's touch (basketball cliche).
491bend a few stories or yarns (lie).
492Some people attend church three times in their lives: when they're hatched, when they're matched, and when they're dispatched.
493I have gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my glasses.
494Abuse of power comes as no surprise
495Allow me to introduce my selves.
496A stand can be made against invasion of an army; no stand can be made against invasion of an idea.
497You may pass violets looking for roses and contentment looking for victory.
498When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.
499The purpose of education is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
500Didn't I dissect you in a biology class one time ?
501women: can't live with them, pass the beer nuts.
502When you write copy you have the right to copyright the copy you write. ...
503Astronomers do it universally.
504The shutter's shut, the son did utter,
505Spark plug car park.
506Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
507If it is worth doing, it is worth overdoing!
508When asking a question of someone your not sure of, only ask if you know half the answer.
509He folds his newspaper so the guy next to him in the bus can only read half the newspaper.
510How much caramel can a canny canonball cram in a camel if a canny canonball can cram caramel in a camel?
511Remove Serendipity from cliche list.
512Local yokel jokes.
513Notice: The only person getting his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
514Money is an excellent servant, but a horrible master.
515this is a process of eliminating options.
516Leadership is an opportunity to serve. It is not a trumpet call to self importance.
517Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
518Heroes and winners aren't the same thing.
519A rumor is as hard to unspread as butter.
520Life is full of surprises. Just say "never" and you'll see.
521Astronomers do it with young stars.
522going, going, gone.
523Mostly you should mind your own business
524Ulcers are caused not so much by what we eat as what's eating us.
525A gentle word, like summer rain, may soothe some heart and banish pain. What joy or sadness often springs, from just the simple little things!
526pass (i.e., Let's head them off at the pass).
527The more things change, the more they stay the same.
528Live each day as if it were your last, but learn from each day as if you will live forever.
529The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
530There is always something to be thankful for. If you can't pay your bills, you can be thankful you are not one of your creditors.
531Minds, like parachutes, only function when they are open.
532If things get better with age, I'm approaching magnificent!
533It is not that I disagree with you, it is just that I'm not in full accord.
534It's better to be naive than jaded
535Silence is the only thing that can't be misquoted!
536I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
537Middle age starts when you have been warned to slow down, not by a motorcycle cop, but by your doctor.
538Repentance is never something to be ashamed of.
539If you want to be well liked never lie about yourself, and be careful when telling the truth about others.
540Initiative is the ability to do the right thing.. efficiency is the ability to do the thing right.. effectiveness is doing the right things.
541Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
542Not our activity for Him but our captivity to Him!
543To let a fool kiss you is stupid.To let a kiss fool you is worse.
544(I'm all over that)...like a fly on shit.
545One reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.
546Quality is presence of value and not absence of mistake.
547The quest for beauty is a quest for love.
548Doesn't know his arse from his elbow.
549Don't worry about it. I've never listened to a thing you've said since the day I met you.
550She slits the sheet she sits on.
551The ochre ogre ogled the poker.
552I am not an organ donor, but I once gave an old piano to the Salvation Army.
553Buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood
554Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean.
555Observation: Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
556Live by what you trust, not by what you fear.
557There are no passengers on spaceship Earth- we are all the crew.
558Plenty of love, Tons of kisses, Hope some day, To be your Mrs.
559so let it be written; so let it be done.
560Politics is used for personal gain
561Wishing things away is not effective
562If your the last one to leave, turn out the lights.
563The truth will set you free...but first, it will make you miserable.
564all good things come to those that wait.
565The cheapest gift I have to give is kindness, and it is the best.
566Be bold in what you stand for; and careful what you fall for.
567Intercessory prayer might be defined as loving our neighbour on our knees.
568Very well, very well, very well ...
569Somebody once figured out that we have 35 million laws trying to enforce 10 commandments.
570You've reached middle age when the phone rings on Saturday night, you pray it isn't for you.
571Nothing is worth thousands of deaths.
572Seventy seven benevolent elephants
573Drink wet cement and get really stoned.
574Seven slick slimey snakes slowly sliding southward.
575One will never reach distant shores, if he chooses to remain upon the dock, In fear his little ship of dreams may be dashed against the rocks.
576Do thick tinkers think?
577Many people lose their tempers merely by seeing you keep yours.
578Rich earn; smart learn.
579Coins are made by mint of metal. Character is made by dint of mettle.
580The Leith police dismisseth us.
581hoked on fonix, itz ben good for me.
582When all else fails....have another beer.
583Temptation resisted is the true measure of character.
584If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
585It's a good thing God chose me before I was born, because he surely would not have afterwards.
586Any car will last a lifetime - if you are careless enough.
587As the sunshine shone on the side of the shot-silk sash shop.
588The Lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math.
589Some people just don't take advice, they have to hit their own head off the wall to believe it will hurt!!
590Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
591When someone says, "do you want my opinion"?- it's always a negative one.
592The same sun that melts butter hardens clay.
593A man convinced against his will is still of the same opinion.
594People would enjoy life more if, once they got what they wanted, they could remember how much they wanted it.
595What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4 way stop.
596What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
597pandemonium reigns (or breaks out).
598The greatest actions of love often got unnoticed.
599Always forgive your enemies but never forget their names.
600Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
601The queen coined quick clipped quips.
602Love is not about who you live with... It's about who you can't live without.
603Marriage - is an expensive way of getting your laundry done for free.
604Are you having a Blond day?
605I stood sadly on the silver steps of Burgess's fish sauce shop, mimicking him hiccuping, and wildly welcoming him within.
606A penny for your thoughts?
607First come, first served.
608Piss out the fire, call the dogs, and lets go home.
609If two witches would watch two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
610All the treasure in the world is worthless, unless you have someone to share it with.
611Sinful Caesar sipped his snifter,
612Never argue with a stupid person. First they'll drag you down to their level, then they will beat you with experience.
613A penny saved is a penny earned, and a penny spent, is a penny enjoyed.
614Seven Silly Swans Swam Silently Seaward
615You can't train a horse with shouts, and expect it to obey a whisper.
616Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
617She stood on the balcony inexplicably mimicing him hiccupping, and amicably welcoming him home.
618Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can shatter my soul.
619He's like school in the summer ...No class.
620There are some days I practice positive thinking.And other days I'm not positive, I am thinking.
621I take the challenge.
622I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit.
623When they were giving out heads, you thought they said beds, and you said "I'd like something soft"
624Time is relative... The mind makes it slow, the heart makes it fast, our friends make it worth while, and words... make it timeless.
625it's better to find a whole worm in your apple than half a worm.
626you're not just whistling Dixie!
627I have learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
628Salvation can't be bought and sold
629Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.
630Thoughts lead to acts.Acts lead to habits.Habits lead to character.And our character will determine our eternal destiny.
631If a bare berry could carry berries?
632It is far better to be alone, than to wish you were.
633Drive carefully! Remember, it's not only a car that can be recalled by it's maker.
634To err is human, to blame it on someone else is more human.
635X-Mas wrecks perplex and vex.
636A lump of red leather, a red leather lump
637Never confuse having a career with having a life.
638Give us clear vision that we may know where to stand and what to stand for, because unless we stand for something, we shall fall for anything.
639How would you like to spend eternity: Smoking or Non-Smoking?
640being a grandfather doesn't bother me, but sleeping with a grandma certainly does.
641He is not afraid of work, you can tell by the way he fights it.
642Rebellion is the mother of wrong actions.
643I only work to enjoy when I am not working.
644He told his children Santa Claus is too old to get around any more.
645I felt bad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
646He/She must have learned to whisper in a sawmill!
647Life is what you have while you are waiting to have one.
648about as exciting as watching paint dry.
649Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra.
650Which witch wished which wicked wish?
651Mummies make money.
652The memory of bad quality lasts longer than the shock of high prices.
653Win one for the Gipper.
654A tear shed can say more than a hundred words spoken.
655DisAppointments are often His Appointments.
656you can dress up a pig, but it'll still be a pig.
657No man is too big to be kind...but many men are too little.
658Freshly fried fresh flesh.
659he jacked it out of the ballpark (homerun).
660The only stupid question is the question you don't ask.
661If the road you travel, has no obstacles, It leads nowhere.
662Contentment is not to be found in having what you want, but rather wanting what you have.
663there will be another one.
664Getting to the top.
665Wow, race winners really want red wine right away!
666Any man who laughs at women's clothes has never paid the bill for them.
667A calm sea does not make a skilled sailor.
668Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important.
669Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.
670Miss Smith lisps as she talks and lists as she walks.
671There are two types of people in this world: those who leave a mark, and others who just leave a stain.
672Where you're going is more important than where you stand.
673My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.
674secrets are secret.
675Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.
676If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
677When God takes measure of a man.I've often heard it said.He always measures 'round the heart.But never 'round the head.
678Death is not totally extinguishing the light but turning off the lamp because the dawn has come.
679Tacky tractor trailer trucks.
680Asking the boss for a rise may not be patriotic, but it will help the government with the extra tax if it comes off.
681Confucius Say: He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
682I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
683If it was a snake it would've bitten you.
684I can not dial 911. There's no 11 on my phone.
685Money: a businessman earns it, an economist learns it, a banker turns it, a politician burns it, and a wise man spurns it.
686Wisdom is a comb given to a man once he is bald.
687Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third.
688You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
689If you set the example, you won't need to set many rules.
690Red blood, green blood
691It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.
692Talking is used to hide one's inability to act
693To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.
694Your mother was a thief - she stole the stars in heaven and put´em into your eyes...
695Sally sells sea shells by the seashore.
696Clean clams crammed in clean cans.
697Kris Kringle carefully crunched on candy canes.
698A bird does not sing because it has an answer -- it sings because it has a song.
699A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper, fire at one end, fool at the other.
700If life were a novel, then dead would mark the end of the first chapter...
701The zoo is a place for animals to study the behaviour of human beings.
702A goal properly set is halfway reached.
703Although they had no first aid class,Egyptians were not dummies.They knew the art of bandaging,They learned it from their Mummies.
704If all else fails, read the directions.
705win some, lose some.
706Raise Ruth's red roof.
707Confucius Say: Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!
708Don't stand in a place of danger trusting in miracles.
709Sharp as a wet corn flake.
710Busier than a three legged cat in a dry sand box.
711Astronomers do it cosmologically.
712Hell has no fire escapes.
713A pleasant place to place a plaice is a place where a plaice is pleased to be placed.
714It is wonderful what God can do with a broken heart, if He gets all the pieces.
715Get up, your going to sleep your life away!
716Better an end with pain, than pain with no end.
717(S)he's got the face of an angel.
718Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, they will never cease to be amused.
719Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
720Real rear wheel
721The attitude within is more important than the circumstances without.
722To love and win is the best thing; to love and lose, the next best.
723When they were handing out brains, you were the first in the queue, and held the door open for the rest of us.
724It ain't rocket science.
725Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?
726Don't listen to what I say; listen to what I mean.
727Never let a problem become an excuse!
728What sunshine is to flowers...smiles are to humanity.
729Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?
730He who kneels before God can stand before anyone!
731The difference between this company and a cactus plant is that the plant has pricks on the outside.
732how many ways can you skin a cat?
733hungry like a big dog (southern).
734Nat the bat swat at Matt the gnat.
735Remember the golden rule: he who has the gold makes the rules.
736When God closes a door He opens a window.
737dance attendance on.
738Confucius Say: Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
739I know your trying to insult me, but I know you like me. I can see your tail wagging.
740His face puckered up like he had eaten a lemon.
741The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true.
742It can be helpful to keep going no matter what
743Shut up the shutters and sit in the shop.
744A winner says, "There must be a better way to do it".A loser says, "This is the way it has always been done here".
745Meandering to a different drummer.
746Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct; what they like to be is a man's last romance.
747Strong expressions create deep impressions.
748If you drop a white glove into the mud, the glove will get muddy but the mud will never get glovey.
749To get profit without risk, experience without danger, and reward without work is as impossible as it is to live without being born.
750life is life.
751Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
752668: The Neighbour of the Beast.
753The trouble with man is two-fold; he cannot learn truths which are too complicated.. he forgets truths which are too simple.
754People will believe most anything that is whispered to another.
755Never stand between a dog and a tree.
756The weakest Christians are those who know that they need to pray . . . and yet don't pray.
757Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
758Frogfeet, flippers, swimfins.
759The seething seas ceaseth and twiceth the seething seas sufficeth us.
760No shipshape ships shop stocks shop-soiled shirts.
761Do I look like a people person?
762fools rush in...
763A poor person isn't he who has little, but he who needs a lot.
764Still waters run deep.
765Strange strategic statistics.
766Give Mr. Snipa's wife's knife a swipe.
767Lie like a rug.
768A politician will stand for what he thinks people will fall for.
769I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
770The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.
771Silence is golden but shouting is fun.
772we're not playing for sheep.
773Deciding not to choose is still making a choice.
774Top chopstick shops stock top chopsticks.
775Do one thing at time, with supreme excellence.
776When there's a will, there's a way..when there's a won't, there isn't.
777truth is nothing but a feeling that something is true.
778Ruby Rugby's brother bought and brought her back some rubber baby-buggy bumpers.
779Two men looked out of prison bars. One saw mud and the other saw stars.
780Do what you love and love what you're doing, and you'll never work another day in your life.
781People want the front of the bus; back of the church and centre of attention.
782She sees seas slapping shores.
783Being cool, is not trying to be cool.
784Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
785You're in middle age when you realize you have more on your mind and less on your head.
786Astronomers do it in X-ways.
787A rose can say I Love You. . . orchids can enthrall. . . but a weed bouquet in a chubby fist. . . OH MY that says it all!
788Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
789life is hard.
790Integrity is the cornerstone of trust.
791Astronomers do it all night.
792As a rule, Man's a fool. When it's hot, He wants it cool. And when it's cool, He wants it hot, Always wanting What is not.
793Hoffer's law: When people are free to do what they want they usually imitate one another.
794One half of the world will never understand the other half, and it doesn't matter which half you're in.
795A person of words and not deeds is like a garden full of weeds.
796Don't go away mad. Just go away.
797If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
798God tries our faith so that we may try His faithfulness.
799Excuse For Not Having Math Homework: I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.
800Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.
801Gobbling gorgoyles gobbled gobbling goblins.
802Astronomers do it telescopically.
803Many people spend their health for wealth, and then try to spend their wealth for health.
804Heaven is where the police are British, the mechanics German, the cooks are French, the lovers Italian, and all is organize by the Swiss.
805A noise annoys an oyster, but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more!
806The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
807If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places.
808Ah shucks, six stick shifts stuck shut!
809Be thankful for problems. If they were less difficult, someone with less ability might have your job.
810life is a bitch; then you marry one.
811Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good.
812In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life; it goes on.
813Still water runs dirty and deep.
814If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
815weed (marijauna.
816Let's sleep on it and talk about it in the morning.
817Of course, there's now a higher percentage of seat belt users. The non-users are slowly being killed off.
818I eat eel while you peel eel
819A goal without a plan is just a wish.
820Learn to listen, opportunity often knocks softly.
821Don't love the things you own, lest they own you.
822Success is a ladder that can not be climbed with your hands in your pockets.
823If evolution was true, mothers would have more than two hands.
824value added or add value.
825nose around (snoop).
826Sheena leads, Sheila needs.
827Sign at a crematorium: Urn more. Pay less.
828as sharp as a cafeteria meatball.
829Our character is shaped as much by our failures as it is by our successes.
830Sherman shops at cheap chop suey shops.
831A smile is a fortune, but you can't sell it, you can't buy it and you can't steal it, but it isn't good to anyone until it is given away.
832I'd rather be dead than red. (60's cliche).
833A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never.
834I'd rather do something and fail than do nothing and succeed!
835Deviants are sacrificed to increase group solidarity
836The truth is like ice water, it shocks you when it hits you, but no one's ever died from it.
837six of one, half a dozen of the other.
838I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
839do as a I say, not as I do.
840When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.
841We can learn much from wise words, little from wisecracks, and less from wise guys.
842Who's to say what's right or wrong?
843Observation: Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
844Don't spring on the inner-spring this spring or there will be an offspring next spring.
845Love is not just gazing at each other but looking together in the same direction.
846Absence is to love as wind is to fire, it extinguishes the small and kindles the great.
847A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
848If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
849I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said Are you going to help? I said No, six should be enough.
850Some people think holding on makes them strong, sometimes its letting go.
851It is a poor workman who blames his tools.
852Listen to the local yokel yodel.
853making a bad decision is better then making no decision at all.
854In your life you will love someone so much you could eat them, then you will get married and wish you had.
855Useless as a screen door on a submarine.
856We can't control the wind, but we have the power to adjust the sails.
857When we learn all the answers, they change the questions.
858One hand doesn't always know what the other is doing.
859Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't; and a sense of humour to console him for what he is.
860Stagecoach stops.
861Who opened the cattleguard?
862A sad Texan once prayed, "Lord, I wish you would make it rain - not so much for me, I've seen it - but for my 7-year-old.".
863When you hear a kind word spoken about a friend, tell her so.
864Love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe.
865A sweater is usually put on a child when the parent feels chilly.
866If weak in prayer we are weak everywhere.
867The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday.
868To belittle is to be little.
869An obstacle is something you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
870Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat.
871A good man is hard to find.
872Worry pulls tomorrow's cloud over today's sunshine.
873There is nothing wrong with people possessing riches. The wrong comes when riches possess people.
874The Miss Universe pageant is fixed. All the winners are from Earth.
875A husband is the medicine that cures all the ills of girlhood.
876Forgiveness is like the fragrance a flower gives after it's been stepped on.
877Absolute submission can be a form of freedom
878Silly sheep weep and sleep.
879Let's touch base on that subject sometime.
880tomorrow is another day.
881You were one of the first to get a brain, before they were perfected.
882God is not moved or impressed with our worship until our hearts are moved and impressed by Him.
883Poverty is a condition with but one advantage, it doesn't take much to improve your lot.
884We need a level playing field.
885Success comes in cans, not can't s.
886We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
887Knowing is not enough; We must Apply. Willing is not enough; We must Do.
888It is hard to face the problem, when the problem is your face.
889We are, each of us, angels with only one wing, and we can only fly embracing each other.
890Hold your horses!
891You either have to be first, best, or different.
892Six shining cities, six shining cities, six shining cities.
893Whoever slit the sheets is a good sheet slitter.
894No matter where you go, there you are.
895Church is the only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
896(I'm all over that)...like a duck on a junebug.
897Why me? Why is it always me?
898He's a few balloons short of a parade.
899The woods are always empty if you're a poor hunter.
900Life is too short to long for money.
901Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
902Wealth buys leisure, but not wisdom.
903Silence is wise if we are foolish, but foolish if we are wise.
904The world is like a beehive: We all enter by the same door but we live in different cells.
905If you have much, give of your wealth; if you have little, give of your heart.
906Share your smile with everyone, but save your kiss for only one.
907Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church.
908A closed mind is a good thing to lose.
909A good marriage is like a casserole: only those involved actually know what goes into it.
910Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
911They have all sorts of new services today. Now they've got a dial-a-prayer service for atheists. You call a number and nobody answers.
912Life is like a ladder, the higher you climb, the more expansive your view is.
913Decency is a relative thing
914Astronomers do it in clusters.
915A smile on your face can be felt on anothers heart.
916What do Windows and a handgun have in common?Both are harmless while not loaded.
917I asked Mom if I was a gifted child...she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
918Remember, pain is nature's way of reminding you who's in charge.
919Been there... done that.
920The greatest tragedy is when man gives up what he wants most for what he wants now!
921You look familiar, did I see you in the zoo parade ?
922it's comming like a freight train.
923hair today - gone tomarrow.
924You know it's love when you can't fall asleep because reality is better than dreams.
925You can choose your friends and you can chose your enemies, but you can't chose family!
926Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.
927I think you may have seen me at the zoo, I was the one who was feeding you peanuts.
928Just say charge it.
929Astronomers do it with stars.
930We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
931I need your help like a kangaroo needs a purse.
932If someone is standing between you and God, guess who's closer to God.
933There are many ears in the cornfield.
934time is a cure.
935Beauty is only skin deep...but ugly goes all the way to the bone!
936must I live my days in these concrete ways.
937When satan reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.
938You can outdistance that which is running after you but not what is running inside you.
939Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don't do it.
940Hassock hassock, black spotted hassock. Black spot on a black back of a black spotted hassock.
941Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
942She sifted thistles through her thistle-sifter.
943A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.
944Show a little bit of your anger everyday instead of showing a lot of it on one day.
945Astronomers do it on mountain tops.
946A vibration is a motion that can't make up its mind which way it wants to go.
947it would not be fun when life is so easy.
948She sells sea shells by the seashore.
949old coot.
950A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse.
951it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
952Five frantic frogs fled from fifty fierce fishes.
953Observation: I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
954The squeaking wheel doesn't always get the grease..sometimes it gets replaced.
955To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.
956I know Karate! ...and several other Japanese words.
957Rolling red wagons
958shooter's bounce(basketball cliche).
959If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the joke of the century.
960hose job (cheated again).
961It's better to be a good person than a famous person
962We spent our whole youth to obtain wealth and our whole wealth to obtain youth.
963When you can't trace God's hand, trust His heart.
964Please pay promptly.
965winning isn't every thing, it's the only thing.
966Pride is something we have. Vanity is something others have.
967Good Night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite.
968If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time.
969I always win. Except when I lose, but then I just don't count it.
970Everyone leaves footprints in you memory, but the ones that leave footprints in your heart are the ones you will truely remember.
971As much use as a yard of pump water.
972What do you call 9 blondes in a circle? A dope ring.
973Slow as molasses.
974As one black bug, bled blue, black blood. The other black bug bled blue.
975A person who can speak many languages is not necessarily more valuable than a person who can listen in one.
976Do for others with no desire of returned favor. We all should plant some trees we'll never sit under.
977Your morality can keep you out of jail, but only the Blood of Jesus Christ, can keep you of hell!
978There is some consolation in the fact that even if your dreams haven't come true- neither have your nightmares.
979Power works best in the hands of those who don't want it.
980I think if I have a good breakfast I could go without food for the rest of the day. I think that until about lunchtime.
981Six sticky sucker sticks.
982Busy buzzing bumble bees.
983Gertie's great-grandma grew aghast at Gertie's grammar.
984No one should live by the early bird policy without finding out whether he classifies as a bird or a worm.
985He'll cry over your wounds so he can get salt in them.
986Excuse For Not Having Math Homework: I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
987turn it around the horn (baseball cliche.
988Luck is a loser's excuse for a winner's position!
989Don't worry, be happy!!
990I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
991Astronomers do it with sextants.
992Are you wrinkled with burden? Come onto Church for a FAITH LIFT!
993Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
994A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody has.
995if you can't stand the kitchen, get a real job.
996Success occurs when opportunity meets preparation.
997Some people are bitter, some sour, others are sweet. Who you hang out with depends on your taste.
998Never wrestle with a pig. You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
999He is so bright his father calls him son.
1000A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
1001No individual raindrop ever considers itself responsible for the flood.
1002He'll throw a drowning man both ends of a rope.
1003I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
1004For God is not against us because of our sin. He is with us; against our sin.
1005Confucius Say: Man who run in front of car get tired.
1006Wetter weather never weathered wetter weather better.
1007Tough times gets you real friends and others get you tough times.
1008Well, you probably said it without thinking, the way you do most things.
1009A single event can have infinitely many interpretations
1010My love is like a cabbage, divided into two, The leaves I give to others but the heart I give to you.
1011What's the score?
1012Don't tell God how big your problems are...tell your problems how big your God is.
1013When you put somebody down, you have to be down there to hold him down. You could soar high otherwise.
1014God is too kind to do anything cruel; too wise to make a mistake; too deep to explain Himself.
1015Mae: I've been asked to get married lots of times. Rae: Who asked you? Mae: Mom and Dad. Lots of times.
1016Fairy Tale: A horror story to prepare children for the newspapers.
1017when the going gets tough, the tough get going.
1018War never decides who is right, only who is left.
1019To forgive calls upon our love-- to forget calls upon our strength.
1020Got one foot in the grave.
1021in for a penny, in for a pound.
1022Lord, make my words soft and tender for tomorrow I may have to eat them.
1023The only way he can hear any good about himself is to talk to himself.
1024A careless word may kindle strife.A cruel word may wreck a life.A timely word may level stress.A loving word may heal and bless.
1025There are two types of pain in this life;that of discipline, which lasts a short while... and that of regret, which can last a life time.
1026Sometimes providences, like Hebrew letters, must be read backward.
1027Listening and hearing are two different senses.
1028Everyone wants to go to Heaven, yet no one wants to die.
1029A face without freckles is like a sky without stars.
1030Elizabeth has eleven elves in her elm tree.
1031She said she should sit!
1032Do bad and remember, do good and forget.
1033Cows graze in droves on grass that grows on grooves in groves.
1034A retired husband is a wife's full time job.
1035Treat people like angels; you will meet some and help make some.
1036A man who lives in a glass house shouldn't throw stones.
1037The soldiers shouldered shooters on their shoulders.
1038Church members are either pillars or caterpillars..the pillars hold up the church, and the caterpillars just crawl in and out.
1039A relaxed man is not necessarily a better man
1040He's off his rocker.
1041You may only be one person in the world, but to one person you may be the world.
1042same time, same place.
1043Having someplace to go to is home. Having someone to love is family. Having both is a blessing.
1044Our arms are the only ones God has to hug His children.
1045When there's nothing on TV, most people will watch it anyway.
1046Laugh all the way to the bank.
1047We crucify ourselves between two thieves- regret for yesterday and fear of tomorrow.
1048Do's and don'ts influence wills and won'ts.
1049A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline.
1050People forget what you said.People forget what you did.But people never forget how you made them feel.
1051Thirty-three thirsty, thundering thoroughbreds thumped Mr. Thurber .
1052when I was young I WALKED to school,... uphill,.... both ways.
1053The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.
1054Astronomers do it with lenses.
1055Life is a roller coaster.You can either scream every time you hit a bump or you can throw your hands up in the air and enjoy it.
1056A friend to all is a friend to none.
1057He/she has one oar out of the water.
1058Astronomers do it hyperbolically.
1059Colder than a well diggers ass.
1060Six short slow shepherds.
1061You can't be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.
1062The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.
1063To light a candle is to cast a shadow.
1064We have not inherited the earth from our ancestors, we have only borrowed it from our children.
1065Three reasons to be a teacher- June, July, and August.
1066A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner. (English Proverb.
1067Never seek the wind in the field. It is useless to try and find what is gone.
1068Give God what's right, not what's left!
1069You must have long range goals to keep you from being frustrated by short range failures.
1070Children are natural mimics. They act like their parents in spite of every attempt to teach them good manners.
1071Shoe section, shoe section, shoe section, ...
1072Bad planing on your part does not necessarily constitute an automatic emergency on my part.
1073If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat.
1074A sharp tongue and a dull mind are usually found in the same head.
1075Try fat flat flounders.
1076Vision is not seeing things as they are, but as they will be.
1077You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
1078The axe soon forgets, but the tree always remembers.
1079I've got my eye on you.
1080Go my son, and shut the shutter.
1081Make My Day!
1082After hearing two eyewitness accounts of the same accident, you begin to wonder about history.
1083stick a fork in him, he's done.
1084it could be worse.
1085women: can't live with them, can't kill them.
1086The boot black bought the black boot back.
1087Rush the washing, Russel!
1088Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
1089Non-smoking area: If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
1090Theopholus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, successfully sifted some thistles.
1091She sells Swiss sweets.
1092God can mend a broken heart but he must have all the pieces.
1093He who hesitates is last.
1094In spite of the cost of living, it's still quite popular.
1095The only thing I like about the stones that come in my way is, once I pass across them, they automatically become my milestones!
1096Confucius Say: Grease monkey who go to bed without bathing wake up oily in the morning.
1097Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it has stopped snowing.
1098Jesus accepts you the way you are, but loves you too much to leave you that way.
1099The batter with the butter is the batter that is better!
1100I'm serious; it was a joke.
1101Everything depends.
1102The Lord loves a cheerful giver. He also accepts from a grouch.
1103The only thing you have to do is breathe; Everything else is just optional.
1104Knock on wood.
1105every cloud has a silver lining.
1106It is taken me all my life to understand that it is not necessary to understand everything.
1107Irish wristwatch
1108Foot: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
1109What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
1110no blood, no foul.
1111Fresh French fried fly fritters
1112People who value their privileges above their principles, soon lose both.
1113You can't strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
1114When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing.
1115No happy time is really gone, if it leaves a special memory.
1116put the moves on ( a girl or guy).
1117We have stopped being fishers of men and we are now the keepers of the aquarium.
1118If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
1119The opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. You cannot hate someone you don't care about.
1120We blame fate for other accidents, but we feel personally responsible when we make a hole in one.
1121God doesn't discriminate ... only religions do.
1122leading edge or cutting edge.
1123Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
1124God's will will not lead you where His grace cannot keep you.
1125A 'wish' changes nothing. A 'decision' changes everything!
1126By learning to obey, you will know how to command.
1127I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
1128If you could kick the person responsible for most of your troubles in the backside, you wouldn't be able to sit down for two weeks.
1129The mind can only stand what the butt can endure.
1130Teenagers express their burning desires to be different by dressing exactly alike.
1131A conservative is a politician who wants to keep what the liberals fought for a generation ago.
1132I am not religious, I just love the Lord.
1133I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
1134He who kneels the most stands best.
1135The great lie of the news media: "I am the public".
1136Information is giving out.Communication is getting through.
1137Confucius Say: Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.
1138One hedgehog hedged up the hedge, whilst another hedge hog hedged down.
1139To truly hear you must quiet the mind.
1140Holy shit and shove me in it.
1141A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.
1142It's not what you say, it's the thought behind it that counts, and I know there's never any thought behind anything you say.
1143You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
1144how now, brown cow.
1145No God - No Peace.Know God - Know Peace.
1146Look before you leap.
1147If nobody knows the troubles you've seen, then you don't live in a small town.
1148The ruddy widow really wants ripe watermelon and red roses when winter arrives.
1149Don't let anybody walk trough your mind with dirty feet.
1150Mommy made me eat my M&Ms.
1151Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this Bull before!
1152If you are never scared, embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take chances.
1153Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
1154Time is like money: you can either spend, waste, or invest!
1155If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can't buy.
1156Television ruins more minds than drugs.
1157I've had an ear full.
1158We could accomplish a lot more if we'd get rid of our ifs and and's; and get off our butts.
1159Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
1160Little birdie in the sky, dropped a poopie in my eye I didn't scream, I didn't cry, But I thanked the Lord cows can't fly!
1161If someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
1162The opinion of the intelligent is better than the certainty of the ignorant.
1163Confucius Say: Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
1164Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
1165Your brain is that bodily organ which starts working the moment you awake and does not stop until you get into the office.
1166Every man dies; not every man really lives.
1167Swatch watch
1168Ignoring enemies is the best way to fight
1169The whisper of a pretty girl can be heard further than the roar of a lion.
1170I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
1171Well, I'll be John Brown! (southern cliche).
1172I can lead you to the water but I can't let you drink.
1173Listen when your body talks
1174If you love something set it free....If it comes back to you it is yours, if it doesn't than it was never meant to be.
1175Not worth the paper it's written on.
1176Kindness: a language the deaf can hear, the blind can see, and the mute can speak.
1177God puts some in places of leadership to shoulder responsibility, not to enjoy privileges.
1178If I said anything to offend you it was purely intentional.
1179Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
1180Get the hell out of Dodge.
118143% of all statistics are worthless.
1182Eat to your heart's content.
1183two's a company, three's a crowd.
1184I dialled one of those 900 numbers to get some financial advice. They advised me not to dial 900 numbers.
1185cheer up, it's not the end of the world.
1186A brook would lose its song if God removed the rocks.
1187Why is a blonde like a bowling ball? You finger her three times, you shag her down an alley and she always comes back for more.
1188What you do when you don't have to do it will determine what you are when it's too late to do anything about it!
1189Four free-flow pipes flow freely.
1190I could've bought that for a song and dance.
1191Pacific Lithograph.
1192The real problem concerning your leisure is how to keep other people from using it.
1193If someone is too tired to give you a smile, leave one of your own, because no one needs a smile as much as those who have none to give.
1194A signature always reveals a man's character... and sometimes even his name.
1195if you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
1196my dogs are barking (meaning: my feet hurt).
1197Love: the only game that two can play and both can win.
1198Dance as if no one's watching, love as if it's never going to hurt.
1199Shelter for six sick scenic sightseers.
1200Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future.
1201Why is a blonde like a tv? A child can turn her on.
1202Fran feeds fish fresh fish food.
1203If you treat every situation like a life or death matter, be prepared to die a lot of times.
1204What some people mistake for the high cost of living, is really the cost of living high.
1205Men tell you the facts, but God will tell you the truth!
1206Sign at animal shelter, Children left unattended will be given a puppy or a kitten.
1207Don't say" if I could, I would".Say instead "If I can, I will".
1208when god said brain he thought he said train, and took the next one out.
1209If you must cross a course cross cow across a crowded cow crossing, cross the cross coarse cow across the crowded cow crossing carefully.
1210Back in the brown shoe days.
1211People are never too busy to tell you all that they have to do.
1212By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
1213early to bed, early to rise.
1214I used to cry for I had no shoes to wear until I saw a man with no feet.
1215If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?
1216It is amazing how many people want to live a long life, and yet so few want to grow old.
1217Crisp crust crackles.
1218Sexist sixties.
1219A box of biscuits, a batch of mixed biscuits
1220Knapsack strap.
1221What a dog I got. His favourite bone is in my arm!
1222Raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock.
1223How much ground could a grounghog grind if a groundhog could grind ground?
1224Truth is the most powerful force on earth because it cannot be changed.
1225Ideas are funny little things, they won't work unless you do.
1226Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them.
1227Is this your sister's sixth zither, sir?
1228The heart has reasons which reason does not understand.
1229Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions, than salt water has on thirst.
1230You don't know what's what until you support yourself
1231Those with the best advice usually offer no advice.
1232The mind is like a parachute, it's no good unless it's open!
1233To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research
1234When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
1235people make mistakes, we're human.
1236Every dog has his day.
1237There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest.
1238You! - OUT of my fantasy!
1239Life is really a bed of roses, others are just lucky to have friends to help them pick the thorns off.
1240The best revenge is a vow to never be like the one who hurt you.
1241Zithers slither slowly south.
1242Plain bun, plum bun, bun without plum.
1243that and $x can buy you y [where y is an item costing $x].
1244Green glass globes glow greenly.
1245Seth's sharp spacesuit shrank.
1246Sterilise: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
1247The is FUBAR (Fucked Up Beyond All Repair).
1248Mrs Hunt had a country cut front in the front of her country cut pettycoat.
1249A wise man sees as much as he should, not as much as he can.
1250I wish I were what I was when I wished I were what I am.
1251You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because your all the same.
1252Love, like paint, can make things beautiful when you spread it, but it simply dries up when you don't use it.
1253Like the pot calling the kettle black.
1254Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F?
1255A man who throws dirt loses ground.
1256Morals of an alley cat and scruples of a snake.
1257God will supply all your real needs.
1258The world may be your oyster, but it doesn't mean you'll get its pearl.
1259sink a shot ( basketball cliche ).
1260A red lead lump.
1261day - at the end of the day.
1262Three short sword sheaths.
1263Sympathy sees and says, "I'm sorry."Compassion sees and says, "I'll help.".
1264If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.
1265Time heals nothing, it merely re-arranges our memory.
1266Hotter than the hinges of hell.
1267A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
1268I can not and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions.
1269It is a small world, but I wouldn't like to have to paint it.
1270Get back, Jack.
1271A man who thinks he is smarter than his wife, has a very smart wife!
1272Celibacy is not an inherited characteristic.
1273I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
1274A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight.
1275Pete's pa pete poked to the pea patch to pick a peck of peas for the poor pink pig in the pine hole pig-pen.
1276There are no substitutes for fresh air, sunshine and exercise.
1277Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.
1278Don't let people drive you crazy when it is within walking distance.
1279Nothing is as soft as water, yet who can withstand the raging flood?
1280Mallory's hourly salary.
1281A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
1282Proverbs are short sentences drawn from long experience.
1283The fickle finger of fate flips fat frogs flat.
1284A moment on the lips,an eternity on the hips.
1285If you follow in others footsteps you will never leave yours behind.
1286Flies fly but a fly flies.
1287Attend Church weekly NOT weakly.
1288Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?
1289He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.
1290God gives every bird its food but he doesn't throw it to its nest.
1291Love conquers all.
1292Have less. Do less. Be more.
1293You always find something in the last place you look.
1294Ten tame tadpoles tucked tightly together in a thin tall tin.
1295Dieting is wishful shrinking.
1296People do not plan to fail, they just fail to plan.
1297True power is when what you say is only the tip of the iceberg of what you really know.
1298Beautiful young people are acts of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.
1299if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
1300I got your goose.
1301he can be saddled (as in controlled).
1302Constant use will wear out anything... especially friends.
1303No matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
1304Our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
1305A child will perform from their mind for their coach/teacher, but for a parent they perform from their heart.
1306Worrying can help you prepare
1307Why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie like Kantie can.
1308Duty over desire - may that inspire.
1309Your desk looks like an explosion in a paper factory.
1310Chocolate chip cookies in a copper coffee cup.
1311Anybody who thinks talk is cheap never argued with a traffic cop.
1312The grass is always greener.
1313Sam's shop stocks short spotted socks.
1314To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
1315Funny as a fart in church.
1316Don't know which way to turn.
1317If your ship doesn't come in, you have to row out to meet it.
1318Everywhere children are schooled to become masters at answering questions and to remain novices at asking them.
1319New friends are silver, old friends are gold. Always make new friends but don't forget the old.
1320When the going gets tough-The tough go fishing!
1321Jesus is the man God intended all humans to be.
1322Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservations.
1323it's always darkest before the dawn.
1324If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
1325There is a technical meteorological term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called a "Monday.".
1326If you wish your merit to be known, acknowledge that of other people.
1327Awful old Ollie oils oily autos.
1328The hare's ear heard ere the hare heeded.
1329The rich invest; the smart investigate.
1330Fred fed Ted bread, and Ted fed Fred bread.
1331The silence of one man can be louder than the screaming of 10 boys!
1332She could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
1333Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
1334No matter how far you have gone on a wrong road, turn back.
1335Scissors sizzle, thistles sizzle.
1336The best of battles are won on our knees...
1337A person is grown up not when they can take care of themselves, but when they can take care of others.
1338If you are willing to admit you are wrong when you are wrong, you are all right.
1339A friend is one who knows who you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you become, and still gently invites you to grow.
1340Screwed up as Hogan's Goat.
1341Success in marriage is more than finding the right person. It's becoming the right person.
1342Men will spend their health getting wealth. Then, gladly pay all they have earned to get health back.
1343Hit the mute button on him/her.
1344An optimist believes we live in the best of all worlds.A pessimist fears this is true.
1345Close enough for government work.
1346waiter, there's a hair in my soup.
1347Integrity is when what you say, what you do, what you think, and who you are all come from the same place.
1348You wouldn't care what people thought of you if you realised how seldom they do.
1349Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
1350Too much Sanity is madness, but the madest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be.
1351Those who are at war with others are seldom at peace with themselves.
1352One of the surest hindrances to the recovery of the sick is the centring of attention upon themselves.
1353Show me a man with both feet on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't put on his pants.
1354Time is a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
1355When they were giving out noses, you thought they said roses, and you said "Give me a big red one"
1356truth is relative.
1357I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
1358Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
1359Excuse For Not Having Math Homework: I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.
1360Can't get there from here.
1361It is not raining. The sky leaks.
1362got hosed (cheated).
1363Been there, done that and have the tee-shirt to prove it.
1364Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
1365Whoever follows a crowd will never be followed by a crowd.
1366When asked by his Boss why he only worked 4 days a week the enployee replied because I can't manage on 3 days a week.
1367Everyone hears what you say,Friends listen to what you say,Best friends listen to what you don't say.
1368Ideals are replaced by conventional goals at a certain age
1369Confucius Say: Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
1370Love is never having to say you're sorry.
1371There are three billion women who don't look like super models and ONLY eight who do.
1372bright lights, big city.
1373Imagination is intelligence having fun.
1374Don't get mad, get even!
1375A lump of red lead,
1376Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
1377Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans.
1378Six slimy snails sailed silently.
1379No shit, sherlock.
1380Intet er saa daarligt, at det ikke er godt for noget !
1381Pooped purple pelicans.
1382I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
1383There's a sandwich on the sand which was sent by a sane witch.
1384Come kick six sticks quick.
1385I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
1386Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date?
1387A real rare whale.
1388America. Love it or leave it.
1389I have faith in fools, my friends call it self-confidence.
1390A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
1391If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet?
1392what goes around comes around.
1393You must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all day!
1394Smile! It increases your face value.
1395If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
1396Do whatever it takes to get the job done!
1397See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
1398Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it.
1399Laugh till you cry.
1400Better to light a candle, than to curse the darkness.
1401A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
1402A true friend walks in when the world walks out.
1403Dusty bibles lead to dirty lives.
1404The love in your heart wasn't put there to stay.Love isn't love till you give it away.
1405Love is not finding a perfect person, it is seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
1406If you don't love, you can't live; if you don't live, you can't love.
1407If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
1408Some people complain because the roses have thorns. Others give thanks because the thorns have roses.
1409A seminar on time travel will be held in two weeks ago.
1410Happiness is what happens to us when we try to make someone else happy.
1411There was a little witch which switched from Chichester to Ipswich.
1412who cares about reasoning anyway.
1413Peter poked a poker at the piper, so the piper poked pepper at Peter.
1414True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.
1415A penny will hide the biggest star in the universe if you hold it close enough to your eye.
1416No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.
1417No matter how pretty she is , someone, somewhere is tired of her crap.
1418S*x is like playing bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
1419In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.
1420Sixish.
1421The gap between advice and help is very wide.
1422Will you, William?
1423An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance. - Nolan's / Peter's Placebo.
1424Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.
1425The sea ceaseth, but it sufficeth us
1426People who do the world's real work don't usually wear neckties.
1427If you kicked him in his heart, you'd break your toe.
1428The world is a great big book, of which those who never travel read only one page.
1429Sometimes to be headstrong, is to be brain-weak.
1430The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on forecasters.
1431When they were giving out brains, you thought they said grains, and you said "Make mine oatmeal"
1432It shines like a diamond in a goats ass!
1433When signing a contract, it helps to remember "the big-type gives, and the small-type takes away".
1434Life is fragile ... handle with prayer.
1435Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.
1436God answers knee-mail.
1437Ulcers are something you get from mountain climbing over molehills.
1438Eat your Cake and have it, too.
1439it'll put hair on your chest.
1440I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
1441One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
1442Can you top this?
1443Seized his knees and sneezed.
1444No one plans to fail but people can fail to plan.
1445May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you are dead.
1446A little knowledge can go a long way
1447There are three things extremely hard; steel, a diamond and to know ones self.
1448Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
1449The minute you start talking about what you are going to do if you lose, you have lost.
1450The toes you step on today just might be connected to the ass you kiss tomorrow.
1451I'm not a fig plucker nor a fig plucker's son, but I'll pluck your fig's 'til the fig plucker comes.
1452Never fear shadows... they simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby.
1453It is hard to read a cartoon aloud.
1454People may not always believe what you say, but they will believe what you do.
1455A wife is a person who can look in the top drawer of a dresser and find a man's handkerchief that isn't there.
1456Professionals built the Titanic, amateurs built the ark.
1457Sex differences are here to stay
1458If you can't be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped.
1459when it rains, it pours.
1460Be careful of the words you say.And keep them soft and sweet. For you never know from day to day.Which ones you'll have to eat.
1461lay on, Macduff.
1462Don't be angry at a friend who told your secret, for neither could you keep it to yourself.
1463Prayer does not cause faith to work, faith causes prayer to work.
1464Astronomers do it spectroscopically.
1465As a man begins to live more seriously within; he begins to live more simply without.
1466Get out of my life. (go away).
1467A man can't know what it is to be a mother
1468Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I'm not one to judge.
1469The people who holler "All power to the people!" want power to be handed to the people who holler "All power to the people!".
1470The collapse of character begins with compromise.
1471If you don't have time to do it right, you must have time to do it over.
1472I haven't lost my mind, I know exactly where I left it.
1473good, bad or indifferent.
1474A judge is a law student who marks their own examination papers.
1475I don't need your attitude I have one of my own.
1476These thousand tricky tongue twisters trip thrillingly off the tongue
1477You don't get old, you just become a classic.
1478It is never easy being a mother.If it were easy, fathers would do it.
1479It is OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.
1480A king's castle is his home.
1481those are the breaks ( dems da breaks).
1482Money is nice, yet nice is worth more.
1483Life just gives you time & space; it's up to you to fill it.
1484The queen in green screamed.
1485As often as you eat this bread and drink this cup.
1486Don't pamper damp scamp tramps that camp under ramp lamps.
1487An elephant was asphyxiated in the asphalt.
1488Lost your marbles.
1489Lonely lowland llamas are ladylike.
1490An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh.
1491He/she can screw up a two car funeral.
1492Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
1493darker than the inside of a cow.
1494Alcohol preserves everything but not dignity.
1495People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
1496I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion, I'd be irresponsible too.
1497run with the hare, hunt with the hounds.
1498If you woke up this morning with more health than illness...you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.
1499There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it with reluctance.
1500Be tender to the young, compassionate to the aged, tolerant with the weak. For in your life you will be all of these.
1501You! - OFF my cloud!
1502Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds you down or polishes you up, depends upon what you're made of.
1503How many sheets could a sheet slitter slit if a sheet slitter could slit sheets?
1504If colored caterpillars could change their colors constantly could they keep their colored coat colored properly?
1505No shark shares swordfish steak.
1506Ambition is just as dangerous as complacency
1507Pursuing pleasure for the sake of pleasure will ruin you
1508Acquaintance: a person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
1509Great minds ... discuss ideas. Average minds ... discuss events. Small minds ... discuss people.
1510So what's the speed of dark?
1511A person without knowledge of his history is like a tree without roots.
1512Hotter than a nun's bug.
1513What do people in China call their good quality plates?
1514Flee from fog to fight flu fast!
1515Two ways to do it. The wrong way and my way.
1516Knowledge is that which is acquired by learning. Wisdom is knowing what to do with it?
1517Most jobs are marginally better than daytime TV.
1518Great men may die, but there ideas won't.
1519he has the hops ( jumping ability ).
1520If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
1521If you think you're getting too much government these days, just be happy that you're not getting all you are paying for.
1522It is not that we don't know the right answers, it is just that we don't ask the right questions.
1523unwept, unhonored and unsung.
1524A person who makes no mistakes, generally makes nothing.
1525An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer.
1526Cheerfulness is contagious, but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a "carrier".
1527Freedom is not the right to do as you please, but the liberty to do as you ought.
1528Never trouble about trouble until trouble troubles you!
1529If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
1530Excuse For Not Having Math Homework: I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
1531A sinning man will stop praying. A praying man will stop sinning.
1532Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
1533Do you have pigeon poop in your ears?
1534Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings.
1535Here's your hat, what's your hurry.
1536She sells seashells on the seashore. The seashells she sells are seashore seashells.
1537Lesser leather never weathered lesser wetter weather.
1538Being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart.
1539The soldier's shoulder surely hurts!
1540Prayer is the key to Heaven, but faith unlocks the door.
15417/5th of all people do not understand fractions.
1542Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.
1543Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
1544Manual labor can be refreshing and wholesome
1545Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
1546The definition of luck is when opportunity meets preparation.
1547You can't expect people to be something they're not
1548Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
1549You only have one chance to make a first impression.
1550Nobody plans to fail, they just fail to plan.
1551Your attitude is the librarian of your past, the speaker of your present, and the prophet of your future!
1552getting soaked (as in cheated).
1553The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; They just make the best of everything that comes along their way.
1554How many yaks could a yak pack pack if a yak pack could pack yaks?
1555Love makes a house a home.
1556Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything.
1557I value all things only by the price they shall gain in eternity.
1558Faith is not believing that God can, but that God will!
1559When you forgive it takes you from the place of the victim to that of a victor.
1560There are no hopeless situations -- only people who are hopeless about them.
1561I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
1562so let it be written--so let it be done.
1563A heavy burden does not kill on the day it is carried.
1564Great gray goats
1565A noisy noise annoys an oyster.
1566The best bridge between hope and despair is often a good night's sleep.
1567A long dispute means that both parties are wrong.
1568Wayne went to Wales to watch walruses.
1569Dying and coming back gives you considerable perspective
1570Fake or real indifference is a powerful personal weapon
1571between the sword and the wall (Spanish).
1572Challenges can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks. It's just a matter of how you view them.
1573Don't wait for your ship to come in. Row out to meet it.
1574May your daughters' hair grow thick, black, and abundant -- all over their faces.
1575He's anybody's dog that will hunt with him.
1576make like a banana and split (go away).
1577Good blood, bad blood.
1578A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
1579the bigger they come, the harder they fall.
1580Keep your head in the clouds.. you're the first to know when it rains, and it's easier to see the silver lining.
1581A proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot.
1582We could all take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
1583When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
1584You made your bed, now sleep in it.
1585When I'm right no-one remembers, when I'm wrong no-one forgets.
1586Kiss her quick, kiss her quicker, kiss her quickest!
1587Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.
1588How much dew would a dew drop drop, if a dew drop did drop dew?
1589Respect cannot be learned, purchased or acquired- it can only be earned.
1590Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what to expect.
1591Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.
1592It's good to give extra money to charity
1593Some people hate waking up and getting out of bed. I enjoy it. I do it three or four times a day.
1594Find yourself in a hole.
1595We treat this world of ours as though we had a spare in the trunk.
1596To have truck to truck two trucks of truck.
1597False Frank fled Flo Friday.
1598Always buy good shoes, and a good bed. Because if you aren't in one, you're in the other.
1599I just got lost in thought. . . . It was unfamiliar territory.
1600Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
1601hook, line and sinker.
1602Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
1603Why does Wendy's have square hamburgers?
1604Artificial desires are despoiling the earth
1605Time is of the essence.
1606It is amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
1607My goal in life is to be the sort of person my dog thinks I am.
1608The best angle from which to approach any problem is the try-angle.
1609Life is not fair, but life is not fair for everyone. That makes life fair.
1610women: can't live with them, can't live without them.
1611Diplomacy -- the art of letting someone have your own way.
1612Hospitality is making your guests feel at home -- even when you wish they were.
1613If I throw a stick, will you leave?
1614National Sheepshire Sheep Association
1615Your worst humiliation is only someone else's momentary entertainment.
1616A real patriot is someone who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.
1617Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.
1618That's the way the cookie crumbles.
1619You owe the world not the other way around
1620I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
1621Do you have potatoes growing in your ears?
1622Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest of these is: "It might have been".
1623If he was any slower, he'd be going in reverse.
1624Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
1625A friend in need is a pest.
1626here, there and everywhere.
1627What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it.
1628The ex-egg examiner.
1629The horn of plenty is usually the one behind you in traffic!
1630Nothing seems to bring on an emergency as quickly as putting money aside in case of one.
1631All the so-called "secrets of success" will not work unless you do.
1632That's not a bald spot, it's a solar panel for a sex machine.
1633damned if you do, damned if you don't.
1634Overheard during a particular long sermon, "If we give him the money now, Mommy, will he let us go?".
1635Consumers are statistics, customers are people.
1636No one ever injured his eyesight by looking on the bright side of things.
1637Four furious friends fought for the phone.
1638Ambivalence can ruin your life
1639I plead contemporary insanity.
1640How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?
1641I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
1642He takes sparrows, dips them in peroxide, and sells them as canaries.
1643Confucius Say: Man who jumps off cliff, jumps to conclusion!
1644A hard thing about business is minding your own.
1645If it took a nickel to get around the world, I couldn't get past the front door.
1646The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
1647and this above all, to thine own self be true.
1648idiot box (TV).
1649I have changed my mind a dozen times. It seems to work better now.
1650Faith makes all things possible. Love makes all things easy. Hope makes all things work.
1651The quality of expectations determines the quality of our action.
1652The optimist says, "My cup runneth over, what a blessing." The pessimist says, "My cup runneth over, what a mess.".
1653Kanta is a masai girl, she can tie a tie and untie a tie, if kanta can tie a tie and untie a tie, why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie?
1654Cuando hay hambre, no hay pan duro!
1655He/She can eat cookies/crackers in my bed.
1656Life is hard, no one makes it out alive.
1657Some have the wisdom of old age and the energy of youth. Most have the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
1658A smile is the lighting system of the face, the cooling system of the head and the heating system of the heart.
1659Lord grant me the courage to do the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference.
1660Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
1661I have worn out more tool pouches than you have sox.
1662Trust but verify.
1663The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it.
1664Guests and fish start to stink after two days.
1665If I said you have a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
1666A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.
1667At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
1668She is an expert housekeeper: every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
1669Intelligence is like underwear, everyone has it but you don't have to show it off.
1670A drop of ink may make a million think.
1671Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
1672We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
1673The U.S. twin-screw cruiser.
1674Old hippies never die, they just surrender to society.
1675Love is the only fire hot enough to melt the iron obstinacy of a creature's will.
1676He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.
1677Who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one.
1678Refusing to have an opinion is a way of having one.
1679A big black bug bit a big black bear and the big black bear bled blood
1680God loves us not because of who we are, but because of who He is.
1681People are funny. They want the front of the bus, middle of the road, and the back of the church.
1682God creates a worm for every bird - but He does not throw it in the nest.
1683I have all the money I'll ever need - if I die by 4 today.
1684Selfish shellfish.
1685T-shirt: My heart belongs to Daddy. . .and so do my credit cards!
1686When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
1687God loves us the way we are, but too much to leave us that way.
1688Round the rugged rock, the ragged rascal ran.
1689Karl Marx's Mother: If Karl, instead of writing a lot about capital, had made a lot of it ... it would have been much better.
1690God gave us time so that everything wouldn't happen all at once.
1691Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
1692When the devil starts messing, God starts blessing.
1693Forgiveness is the best remedy for any injury.
1694If you are headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.
1695Out like a Light.
1696The only way to be free is to limit yourself.
1697He who receives a good turn should never forget it; he who does one should never remember it.
1698Tim, the thin twin tinsmith.
1699If you judge people, you will have no time to love them.
1700A cynic is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
1701Wisdom has two parts: 1) Having a lot to say. 2) Not saying it.
1702Many an anemone sees an enemy anemone.
1703Confucius Say: It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
1704it wasn't the caughing that carried him off, it was the coffin they carried him off in.
1705Potential counts for nothing until it's realized
1706Colder than a witches toe.
1707I wish to wish, I dream to dream, I try to try, and I live to live, and I'd die to die, and I cry to cry but I dont know why.
1708A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the sky.Phychotic is the man who lives in it.And a psychiatrist collects the rent.
1709A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
1710Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
1711Easy as shooting fish in a barrel.
1712Forget yourself when with others and others will not forget you.
1713Fat frogs flying past fast.
1714Show me some guts!
1715Confucius Say: Don't eat the snow where the huskies go!
1716Elevator is stuck between floors.
1717America is a land where citizens vote for Democrats but hope to live like Republicans.
1718He who angers you controls you!
1719Patience is the silken cord on which are strung the pearls of virtue.
1720So unpleasant he/she can piss off the Pope saying good morning.
1721Tragedy strategy.
1722when you ASSUME, it makes an ASS out of U and ME.
1723If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
1724Six sleek swans swam swiftly southwards
1725A hard man is good to find.
1726A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can't spell.
1727Everything is possible; just not too probable.
1728You may be born with a silver spoon in your mouth, but you need gold-hearted people to make your life more tasty.
1729Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
1730The greatest fool of all is the man who fools himself.
1731Action causes more trouble than thought
1732Live your life from your heart. Share from your heart. And your story will touch and heal people's souls.
1733What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry? Never lick the spoon.
1734Treat your friends as you do your pictures, place them in their best light.
1735Put a fork in me, I'm done.
1736Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
1737Victory begins with the name of Jesus on our lips, but it will not be consummated until the nature of Jesus is in our hearts.
1738life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.
1739Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
1740The business of preaching is to comfort the disturbed and to disturb the comfortable.
1741It is seldom easy to do what's right or right to do what's easy.
1742Sharp as a basketball.
1743A smile is a curve that sets things straight.
1744Drive carefully, we need every taxpayer we can get.
1745A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
1746If we are walking in joy, we are trusting God.
1747An elite is inevitable
1748Ken Dodd's dad's dog 's dead.
1749All mothers are working mothers.
1750how do you like them apples?
1751If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
1752Some things that cost $5 to buy several years ago now costs $10 just to repair.
1753A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
1754Astronomers do it with Uranus.
1755If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck...
1756One thing you can give and still keep, is your word.
1757Time wounds all heels.
1758life is a series of disappointments, followed by death.
1759A drunk mans' words are a sober mans' thoughts.
1760Love is the irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly.
1761The world was not given to us by our parents, it was lent to us by our children!
1762Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
1763I'd love to make up my mind, but I can't remember where I left it.
1764Source: None
1765The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
1766A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse.
1767One brick short of a load (reference to being stupid).
1768Telling the truth and making someone cry is just as bad as telling a lie and making someone smile!
1769Give to a pig when it grunts and a child when it cries, and you will have a fine pig and a bid child.
1770SNAFU (situation normal, all fucked up).
1771Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.
1772An educational system isn't worth a great deal if it teaches young people how to make a living but doesn't teach them how to make a life.
1773if you expect to soar with the eagles during the day, you can't hoot with the owls at night.
1774Cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table.
1775On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.
1776Twice we tripped toys.
1777With money I can buy things; with thinking I can understand things.
1778A person's character and their garden both reflect the amount of weeding that was done during the growing season.
1779If life were easy, then it would be boring.
1780Today's beautiful moments are tomorrow's beautiful memories.
1781How much oil boil can a gum boil boil if a gum boil can boil oil?
1782Wisdom whispers - foolishness shouts.
1783What is sauce for the goose, is sauce for the gander.
1784Marital problems? You don't need a new wife, you need a new life!
1785There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
1786Goodness is the only investment that never fails.
1787I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
1788If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
1789Excuse For Not Having Math Homework: I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
1790if ifs and buts where candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas.
1791May your trouble be like the old man's teeth...few and far between.
1792Don't just get something out of church, put something into it.
1793Two to two to Toulouse?
1794America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
1795Excuse For Not Having Math Homework: I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
1796Does this shop sport short socks with spots?
1797shot at and missed, hit on and hit.
1798I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!
1799I know UNIX, PASCAL, C, FORTRAN, COBOL, and nineteen other high-tech words.
1800Two rules to success in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know.
1801I am the world's greatest authority on my own opinion.
1802Write injuries in the sand, kindnesses in marble.
1803The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
1804Mix, Miss Mix!
1805Happier than a pig in shit.
1806If we preach what we live....We don't ever have to worry about practicing what we preach!
1807Norse myths.
1808Sometimes the Lord calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
1809Change is valuable when the oppressed become tyrants
1810see you later, alligator.
1811If you want breakfast in bed, then start sleeping in the kitchen.
1812When they were giving out faces, you thought they said cases, and you said "I'd like one made of leather"
1813Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.
1814Can you remember when you didn't want to sleep? Isn't it inconceivable? I guess the definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.
1815It ain't broke. Don't fix it.
1816The desire of love is to give. The desire of lust is to get.
1817Give peace a chance.
1818Behaviour is a mirror in which everyone shows his image.
1819laughter is the best medicine.
1820Sometimes I know that there is intelligent life on other planets because they haven't tried to contact us.
1821Full head of steam.
1822I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.
1823Language is the dress of thought.
1824If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
1825Valuable valley villas.
1826Oh Lord, help me to keep my big mouth shut until I know what I'm talking about.
1827The first 90% of project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.
1828No Jesus - No Love.Know Jesus - Know Love.
1829Confucius Say: Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
1830Some succeed because they are destined to. But most succeed because they are determined to.
1831Six shimmering sharks sharply striking shins.
1832A candle brightens the world around it. Unfortunately, it creates a shadow of its own. It still serves the purpose it is meant for.
1833Action may not always be happiness, but there is no happiness without action.
1834Two tried and true tridents
1835A smile is the cheapest way to improve your looks, even if your teeth are crooked.
1836A big bug bit a bold bald bear and the bold bald bear bled blood badly.
1837Note on a door: Out to lunch; if not back by five, out for dinner also.
1838If I assist a sister-assistant, will the sister's sister-assistant assist me?
1839Rex wrecks wet rocks.
1840you're young, you'll get over it.
1841All progress is based on a universal innate desire on the part of every organization to live beyond its income.
1842Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night.".
1843Don't attempt to run from the past, it is always behind you.
1844A conservative is a worshipper of dead radicals.
1845I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not.
1846After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
1847The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
1848You will never be promoted until you become over-qualified for your present position.
1849Those who do not plan for the future have to live through it anyway.
1850nothing great, nothing gross.
1851Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
1852God is God, and I'm not.
1853Love sees no colour.
1854You got your brain first when they were handing them out in alphabetical order, A for "Aardvark"
1855Win with humility; lose with grace.
1856You can't help the poor man by destroying the rich.
1857No answer is also an answer.
1858If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
1859Learn from other people's mistakes, life isn't long enough to make them all yourself.
1860I don't understand Christianity, nor do I understand electricity, but I don't intend to sit in the dark until I do!
1861No matter what you want to do, there's always something else that has to be done first.
1862Don't measure your life by how many breaths you take, measure it by how many times you get your breath taken away.
1863LSD melts your mind, not in your hand.
1864Leave loved ones always with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
1865Which Eternity do you prefer? Smoking or Non-Smoking.
1866What do you call male ballerinas?
1867Roberta ran rings around the Roman ruins.
1868While men talk of killing time, slowly time kills men.
1869You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.
1870The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
1871Plan ahead: It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark!
1872Black background, brown background.
1873There is no future in spending the present worrying about the past.
1874Grace is the divine ability to cope with every circumstance.
1875If success attend me, grant me humility; If failure, resignation to Thy will.
1876You look familiar too, have I ever seen you hanging by the tail from the tree in my garden ?
1877Who says nothing is impossible, I have been doing nothing for years.
1878Funny thing about humility. Just when you think you've got it, you've lost it.
1879What we see is mainly what we look for.
1880Who me? I just wander from room to room.
1881Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
1882That's funny you calling me an animal, and it's you that has the webbed feet.
1883Whatever you do, or dream, begin it now.. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.
1884A woman to her son did utter,
1885Nothing seems impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
1886A lot of professionals are crackpots
1887The mind of a poet begins with an H and ends with a T, listening with an EAR in between.
1888You throw a perfectly straight line at the audience and then, right at the end, you curve it. Good jokes do that.
1889A bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two-tired.
1890The true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unattractive.
1891Literally literary.
1892The new is nothing but a restatement of the old
1893chasing geese.
1894Little differences - like a letter in a word - make all the difference in the world.
1895The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
1896Well they can't carry berries
1897We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
1898Greek grapes.
1899Passion: there are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those.
1900Faster than a speeding crawfish.
1901Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
1902You would be late for your own funeral.
1903when in Rome, do as the Romans do.
1904The best way to have the last word is to apologize.
1905My parents worked hard to give us everything money could not buy.
1906God has a thousand ways, Where I can see not one; When all my means have reached their end, Then His have just begun.
1907If money could talk, it would say goodbye.
1908Deader than 4 O'Clock.
1909Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life.
1910A camel is a horse designed by a committee.
1911Borrow money from pessimists.They don't expect it back.
1912Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.
1913A positive attitude means all the difference in the world
1914Others may argue your beliefs, but they can't refuse your love.
1915that's enough to piss off the good humor man!
1916Twelve standard stainless steel twin screw cruisers.
1917My worst day of vacation has always been better than my best day at work.
1918I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
1919It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.
1920Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines
1921Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
1922Here comes Mutt and Jeff.
1923If we don't control our money, it will control us.
1924Three blondes walked into a bar. You'd think that one of them would have seen it.
1925Pirates Private Property
1926A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.
1927Beam me up Scotty!
1928Money is like unspreadable butter, you try and spread it but it all lumps together at one end of the bread.
1929Being right is highly overrated. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
1930I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
1931The fellow who has no money is poor; the fellow who has nothing but money is poorer still.
1932Man is a peculiar creature. He spends a fortune making his home insect-proof and air-conditioned, and then eats in the yard.
1933We're all here 'cause we're not all there.
1934Don't kill the dream - execute it!
1935Holding on to a hurt creates more hurt.
1936After all is said and done, more is said than done.
1937Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
1938Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
1939An error doesn't become a mistake until you choose to ignore it.
1940Children are the hope of the future
1941Really leery, rarely Larry.
1942Red leather! Yellow leather!
1943wacky tobaccy (marijauna).
1944Roland road in a Rolls Royce.
1945The measure of a man is not the number of servants he has, but the number of people he serves.
1946Zero is sometimes better than nothing.
1947When the fertiliser hits the windmall (i.e., when the shit hits the fan).
1948Pope Sixtus VI's six texts.
1949hasn't got a pot to piss in (nor a window to throw it out).
1950A knapsack strap.
1951A big black bug bit a big black bear, made the big black bear bleed blood.
1952Be good or be good at it!
1953A full boat. (referring to a full house in poker).
1954Sister Susie sewing shirts for soldiers.
1955Communication by empathy is a talent that few possess.
1956I am on a thirty day diet.So far, I have lost 15 days.
1957Never say anything unless it is kind, necessary and true.
1958Astronomers do it in nebulae.
1959Plague-bearing prairie dogs.
1960Methods are many,Principles are few.Methods change often,Principles never do.
1961Just believing something can make it happen
1962Ha, ha, that was a thigh slapper!
1963Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
1964Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.
1965The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith. The beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.
1966she goes through money like a fart through a pair of jeans.
1967Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
1968If you ever need a helping hand, there is one at the end of your arm.
1969The last place he lived in, he campaigned for dry law, got it passed and then moved away.
1970Sure the ship's shipshape, sir.
1971What veteran ventriloquist whistles.
1972Who is the boss around here anyway?
1973like father, like son.
1974A black bloke's back brake-block broke.
1975Lots of people would love working for him - if they were graver diggers.
1976Your temper is the only thing you can lose and still have.
1977Happiness is a path, not a destination.
1978Your smile lights up a room like a candle in the dark. I can still hear the song of your laughter.
1979Hard work has future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
1980Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
1981Fear is the greatest incapacitator
1982We all get heavier as we get older because there is a lot more information in our heads.
1983Why do people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older ... they were cramming for their finals!
1984Excuses are the easiest things to manufacture, and the hardest things to sell.
1985in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
1986What the caterpillar calls the end, the butterfly calls the beginning.
1987rattling 'round like a pea in a jam jar.
1988I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
1989The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
1990Reputation is made in a moment: character is built in a lifetime.
1991The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot.
1992You only live once; but if you do it right, once is enough.
1993God, give me courage to do what I can,humility to admit what I can't, and wisdom to know the difference.
1994At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice.
1995Thin sticks, thick bricks
1996Friends are like puzzle pieces. If one goes away, that special piece can never be replaced and that puzzle will never be whole again.
1997He was on that like a pack of dogs on a three-legged cat.
1998If you haven't all the things that you want, be thankful for all the things that you don't have that you didn't want.
1999Make your life a mission, not an intermission.
2000shit happens.
2001Praying is hard; living without it is harder.
2002It is always the ones who talk loudest who do the least.
2003God gives us faces; we create our own expressions.
2004Relationships can be boring - not people!
2005you get nothing for free.
2006Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side? He's all right now.
2007Doing a thing wrong for a long period of time gives it the superficial appearance of being right.
2008A leading authority is anyone who has guessed right more than once.
2009We don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
2010How much pot, could a pot roast roast, if a pot roast could roast pot.
2011People who think they're out of this world always make you wish they were.
2012The lesson is what you read in the fine print. The experience is what you get when you don't.
2013It ain't over until the fat lady sings.
2014Larry sent the latter a letter later.
2015Most people want to serve God -- but only in an advisory capacity.
2016I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
2017Handy Guide to Modern Science: 1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology. 2. If it stinks, it's chemistry. 3. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
2018Do all you should, not all you could.
2019A big black bear sat on a big black bug.
2020Funny how a dollar can look so big when you take it to church, and so small when you take it to the store.
2021cat's pajamas (same meaning as cat's ass).
2022Drop a dime on you!
2023rally 'round the flag.
2024She ceased shining shoes and socks, for shoes and socks shock Susan.
2025The seething sea ceaseth; thus the seething sea sufficeth us.
2026Knowing what to say is not always necessary; just the presence of a caring friend can make a world of difference.
2027Dollars to Doughnuts.
2028One with God is a majority.
2029Anyone who has time to look for a 4- leaf clover needs to find one.
2030you can't win 'em all.
2031Six thick thistle sticks.
2032Astronomers do it in voids.
2033Digital Wisdom: Affirm brain on-line before opening mouth.com.
2034signed, sealed and delivered.
2035With perseverance you can discover any truth
2036Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
2037A seafood diet is the best: whenever you see food, eat it.
2038Is ignorance or apathy the biggest problem with the world today? "I don't know and I don't care".
2039Your face is very becoming. I'm becoming more and more ugly every time I see it.
2040Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
2041While we were walking, we were watching window washers wash Washington's Windows with warm washing water.
2042A giving church is a living church.
2043We judge others by their actions; we judge ourselves by our intentions.
2044A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
2045The difference between a rebel and a patriot is wether who is in power.
2046better a chip on by shoulder than one at your feet.
2047looks like she was hit in the head with a bag of nickles.
2048Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2049Lisa laughed listlessly.
2050Am I indecisive? Can I get back to you on that?
2051It is not 'seeing' the light that impacts one's life; it is never 'ceasing' to see the light that impresses one's life, spirit, heart and soul.
2052America is the only country in the world where the poor have a parking problem.
2053Lost ball in high weeds.
2054Which witch watched which watch?
2055The contented person is never poor.The discontented is never rich.
2056Incontinence Hot line...Can you hold please.
2057A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.
2058He who fails to prepare, prepares to fail.
2059The fellow who is fired with enthusiasm for his work is seldom fired by his boss.
2060Nick knits Nixon's knickers.
2061When your outgo exceeds your income your upkeep will be your downfall.
2062Is a pleasant peasant's pheasant present?
2063Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know when you'll find a nut.
2064How do I set a laser printer to stun?
2065He stuck to me like a fart in a phone booth.
2066go ugly early; don't wait for closing time.
2067If you want to be a leader with a large following, just obey the speed limit on a winding, two-lane road.
2068Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
2069Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
2070When an old man dies, a library burns down.
2071The only man who is a bigger fool than the one who knows it all is the one who will argue with him.
2072If your head wasn't screwed on you'd lose that too.
2073You can bomb the world into pieces, you can't bomb te world into peace.....
2074out of sight, out of mind.
2075Changing one thing for the better is worth more than proving a thousand things are wrong.
2076Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut.
2077Going with the flow is soothing but risky
2078There is an “exception to every rule” - and most people think they are it.
2079Much mashed mushrooms.
2080He who sees the calamity of other people finds his own calamity light.
2081There are three secrets to success: The first is "Keep your eyes and ears open." The second is "Don't tell everything you know.".
2082You can't fool others if you're fooling yourself
2083My house was clean last week.Sorry you missed it.
2084People never say, "It's only a game", when they're winning.
2085A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
2086Yanking yellow yo-yos.
2087Sarah saw a shot-silk sash shop full of shot-silk sashes
2088Cuthbert's cufflinks.
2089All sunshine makes a desert.
2090Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it!
2091A man is not where he lives, but where he loves.
2092With wealth you can live in comfort.With drive you can make a comfortable living.With peace of mind, you can be comfortable in living.
2093A conference is a gathering of important people who individually can't do anything but together can decide that nothing can be done.
2094Even a broken watch is correct twice a day.
2095If you give 100%, God will make up the difference!
2096Extraordinary: it is the "extra" that make us more than ordinary.
2097it will be worse.
2098A good example is the best sermon.
2099Why may we melee, when we may waylay?
2100Red Buick, blue Buick
2101Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
2102Ike ships ice chips in ice chips ships.
2103People who want by the yard, but try by the inch, should be kicked by the foot !
2104A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
2105Remember, your relatives had no choice in the matter either.
2106You don't become a missionary by crossing the sea but by seeing the cross.
2107The quack quit asking quick questions.
2108A poor report card has one good thing in its favor: at least you know the student is not cheating.
2109I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
2110Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
2111If this is living, I'd rather be dead.
2112Archeologist: someone whose carrier lies in ruins.
2113A more expensive tennis racket will not make you a better player.
2114I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
2115A statesman shears the sheep. A politician skins them.
2116give space to time, and time will fill space.
2117Materialism is buying things we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people who don't matter.
2118When dogs leap onto your bed, it's because they adore being with you. When cats leap onto your bed, it's because they adore your bed.
2119To hate a person is a waste; half the people you hate don't care, and the other half don't know.
2120Justice always prevails....three times out of seven.
2121Being yourself is being the person everyone else wants you to be.
2122Wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers!
2123Seven days without prayer makes one weak.
2124The sun, reflecting upon the mud of strands and shores, is unpolluted in his beam.
2125The love of parents for their child is measured by the length they will go to compete with the world for the love of that child.
2126While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.
2127Betty better butter Brad's bread.
2128This is a zither.
2129Another day, another dollar!
2130fun is good.
2131You don't look at a picture of a Chevy when you drive a Cadillac.
2132Everyone needs to be loved . . . especially when they do not deserve it.
2133There are three dimensions to credit cards, length, width and debt.
2134Save time ... see it my way.
2135Here comes the Bobsy Twins.
2136Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
2137midnight is where the day begins.
2138Keenly cleaning copper kettles.
2139for love of country.
2140The Pen is mightier than the sword.
2141I was born at night, but not last night.
2142Act in haste, repent at leisure.
2143I don't think of all the misery, but of all the beauty that still remains.
2144practice 'till it becomes second nature to you.
2145It takes all kinds.
2146What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul.
2147A pessimistic pest exists amidst us.
2148I always thought looking back on the times I cried would make me laugh; but I never knew looking back on the times I laughed would make me cry.
2149Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
2150Synonym cinnamon.
2151You can't build character & courage by taking away men's initiative & independence.
2152Six sick hicks nick six slick bricks with picks and sticks.
2153It's always the wrong time of the month.
2154He who stands for nothing, falls for anything.
2155has the cat got your tongue?
2156When your on your death bed you'd give anything for one more tick of the clock.
2157Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough.
2158Enough ants can eat an elephant.
2159Higgledy-Piggedly!
2160it is a good experience, it makes me stronger.
2161It doesn't matter if you win or lose until you lose.
2162I would help you out but I did not see where you came in.
2163God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.
2164Believe in miracles, but don't depend on them.
2165Your thoughts can cause you to be rich or poor, loved or unloved, happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak.
2166Good hands (sports cliche).
2167What really matters is what happens in us- not to us.
2168Silver's law: If Murphy's law can go wrong it will.
2169I cannot shut it any shutter.
2170All of us are God's creatures... just some are more creature than others.
2171Character is what a person is in the dark.
2172Do you think I'm made of money?
2173There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.
2174Astronomers do it ellyptically.
2175A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
2176You will never "win" an argument concerning religion.
2177Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box.
2178The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.
2179Near an ear, a nearer ear, a nearly eerie ear.
2180Two brothers were discussing Adam and Eve. The 8-year-old asked: "How did Adam and Eve die?"And the 4-year-old said: "They ate bad fruit.".
2181Philosophy can not be attained from text on a page... it comes from with the soul.
2182Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.
2183If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead, and a place to sleep...you are richer than 75% of this world.
2184Fit to be tied.
2185Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
2186A bloke's bike back brake block broke.
2187The one who makes it, sells it. The one who buys it, never uses it. The one that uses it, never knows that he's using it. What is it?A coffin.
2188If you have time to worry, you have time to pray.
2189Before you point your fingers be sure your hands are clean.
2190I used to want to pack as much as I could into my life, but now I realize it's more about quality of life than quantity.
2191What is right is often forgotten by what is convenient.
2192we have (there are?) bigger fish to fry.
2193Grandparents: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
2194Since I have smashed my denominational glasses, I have a better vision of who Christ is.
2195Every achievement requires a sacrifice
2196in a 'round about way.
2197You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
2198He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
2199A wise person escapes temptation and leaves no forwarding address.
2200You can survive on charm for about 5 minutes...after that, you'd better know something!
2201Man's way leads to a hopeless end! Gods way leads to an endless hope!
2202Did Dick Pickens prick his pinkie pickling cheap cling peaches in an inch of Pinch or framing his famed French finch photos?
2203You can send a message around the world in 1/7 of a second; yet it may take several years to move a simple idea through a 1/4 inch of human skull.
2204There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
2205Next to the originator of a good sentence is the first quoter of it.
2206The nice thing about standards is, there are so many to choose from.
2207what's new?
2208Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these people?
2209A good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help another up.
2210X-ray checks clear chests.
2211Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.
2212Only in America do people order double cheese burgers, a large fries, and a diet coke.
2213But you did get a brain that day. The problem is that you should have asked for one to go.
2214I don't give a rat's ass.
2215You are richer today if you have laughed, given or forgiven.
2216The wonder of a single snowflake outweighs the wisdom of a million meteorologists.
2217Three twigs twined tightly.
2218Character is made by what you stand for; reputation, by what you fall for.
2219Ann and Andy's anniversary is in April.
2220He started hating me, cause I couldn't laugh at his jokes. I just started finding it impossible to laugh at his jokes the way I used to.
2221There are two ways to be contented: one is liking what you do, and the other is doing what you like.
2222You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.
2223You are getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
2224Love has reasons that reason knows nothing of.
2225Patience is a mild form of dispair disguised as a virtue.
2226Don't be irreplaceable -- if you can't be replaced, you won't be promoted.
2227The best way to overcome temptation is to avoid the tempting situation.
2228Life is like a mirror, if you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting.
2229A nurse anesthetist unearthed a nest.
2230You don't have to say anything. You offend me just by being in the area.
2231A cupcake cook in a cupcake cook's cap cooks cupcakes.
2232Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible!
2233Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
2234If we'd confess our sins to one another we'd all laugh at the lack of originality.
2235The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.
2236Hospital is a place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.
2237A religion that is small enough for us to understand would not be large enough for our needs.
2238Elizabeth's birthday is on the third Thursday of this month.
2239There is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light of even one small candle.
2240A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses.
2241a hole big enough to drive a truck through (football).
2242A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
2243Blake's black bike's back brake bracket block broke.
2244He who has a thing to sell and goes and whispers in a well is not as apt to get the dollars as he who climbs a tree and hollers.
2245The sum of your actions determines what you are
2246Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
2247If you love what you do you'll never work another day in your life.
2248The only limitations to God are in our mind.
2249The Iron Rule: Don't do for others what, given the chance, they wouldn't do for themselves.
2250saddled with work (or some other burden).
2251There is so much bad in the best of us and so much good in the worst of us that it doesn't behoove any of us to talk about the rest of us.
2252Out damn spot!
2253Six shy shavers sheared six shy sheep.
2254Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: bananosecond.
2255Don't bother trying to teach a pig to sing; you only waste your time and annoy the pig.
2256If wishes were horses the beggers would ride.
2257You should not confuse your career with your life.
2258Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.
2259A single reason why you can do something is worth 100 reasons why you can't.
2260keep it simple, stupid.
2261Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you, not because they are nice, but because you are.
2262Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage.
2263Defeat isn't bitter if you don't swallow it.
2264The key to happiness is not fixing your problems but changing your attitude towards your problems.
2265If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be discarded.
2266If you don't like something about yourself, change it. If you can't change it, accept it.
2267How many moose might a mini-mouse move if a mini-mouse might move moose?
2268The fuzzy bee buzzed the buzzy busy beehive.
2269Just when I was getting used to yesterday along came today.
2270A dozen dim ding-dongs.
2271Selfish sharks sell shut shellfish.
2272Often, the only way to comfort the suffering is to understand that you can't understand and just be there.
2273Death is not a period but a comma in the story of life.
2274What does that have to do with the price of eggs?
2275Inch by inch life's a cinch.Yard by yard life is hard.
2276If wealth is lost nothing is lost.If health is lost something is lostIf character/reputation is lost everything is lost.
2277Men and women will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
2278Friendly Frank flips fine flapjacks.
2279Don't work for recognition, but do work worthy of recognition.
2280Without risk there is no opportunity for gain.
2281Love's a feeling you feel when you feel you're going to feel the feeling you've never felt before.
2282Your face doesn't look like a doorstep, it looks like the door just kept going.
2283Take care of your character and your reputation will take care of itself.
2284Before you can break out of prison, you must realize that you are locked up.
2285A good school is a community where children learn to live first and foremost as children and not as future adults.
2286(to describe a well-proportioned woman) like two tomcats in a gunny sack.
2287A candidate is someone who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.
2288up the river.
2289You are young only once, but you can be immature all your life.
2290a cheshire-cat smile.
2291There those thousand thinkers were thinking where did those other three thieves go through.
2292Richard's wretched ratchet wrench.
2293At times inactivity is preferable to mindless functioning
2294You could not warm up to him if you were cremated together.
2295it keeps me from the street.
2296To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart, and to sing it to them when they have forgotten.
2297Real rock wall, real rock wall, real rock wall
2298A farmer learns more from a bad harvest than a good one.
2299There was a minimum of cinnamon in the aluminum pan.
2300Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered and no one was there.
2301He'd steal a dead fly from a blind spider.
2302Most accidents happen at home - maybe we should move.
2303If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
2304Black bug's blood
2305An open mind does not always require an open mouth.
2306A pessimist is someone who looks at the land of milk and honey and sees only calories and cholesterol.
2307Old oily Ollie oils old oily autos.
2308old coaches never die, they just lose their balls.
2309You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
2310Observation: A carelessly planned project will take three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project will take only twice as long.
2311lions and tigers and bears, oh my.
2312Respect is mutual, if you don't respect others viewpoints, chances are they won't acknowledge yours.
2313Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat.
2314Hard work doesn't harm anyone, but I do not want to take chances.
2315A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
2316If wishes were horses than beggars could ride.
2317Freckle-faced Freddie fidgets.
2318The penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you.
2319Most of our suspicions of others are aroused by our knowledge of ourselves.
2320The empty can rattles the most.
2321A PBS mind in an MTV world.
2322People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of them being made.
2323Girl gargoyle, guy gargoyle.
2324Poverty within is as dangerous as poverty without.
2325Six sharp smart sharks.
2326True love is not based on what you have, but it is based on who you really are.
2327We see things not as they are, but as we are.
2328The only routine with me is no routine at all.
2329Does your train of thought have a caboose?
2330Here's to you and here's to me and may we never disagree, but if we do I'll still love you.
2331I can feel it in my guts!
2332If innocence can leave guilt can come.
2333Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.
2334Nothing you could say could offend me. I only get offended by things that make sense.
2335You don't marry someone you can live with; you marry the person with whom you cannot live without.
2336Keifing off (goofing off).
2337Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't.
2338Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before..
2339Be ye fishers of men, you catch them -- He will clean them.
2340Lord, be merciful, shut me up when my life speaks so much louder than my words.
2341Girls who wear glasses seldom get passes (Ogden Nash).
2342My aim is that when my hands will work no longer, that the works of my hands will still continue to keep on working.
2343America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.
2344An Apple a day keeps the doctor away.But . . . an onion a day keeps everyone away.
2345If the grass on the other side of the fence appears greener...it must be all the fertiliser they are using!
2346Life is like a movie..How good you do depends on your critics.
2347The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.
2348Zizzi's zippy zipper zips.
2349crazier than a crap house rat.
2350There are too many mediocre things to deal with.Love shouldn't be one of them.
2351Where's the beef?
2352A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
2353All men can fly, but sadly, only in one direction -- down.
2354A rose by any other name is still a rose.
2355Copy from one its plagiarism. Copy from two its research.
2356playin poker with the pros (he's dead).
2357I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, upon a slitted sheet I sit.
2358Disappointments should be cremated, not embalmed.
2359got a frog in your throat?
2360serenity now!
2361Switch watch, wrist watch.
2362Life is an echo. What you send out - you get back. What you give - you get.
2363Life itself cannot give you joy unless you really will it. Life just gives you time and space. Its up to you to fill it.
2364The two-twenty-two train tore through the tunnel.
2365you can decide your own life, dont worry about others.
2366An angry person is seldom reasonable; a reasonable person is seldom angry.
2367there's more than one way to kill a cat than choking it with butter.
2368Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
2369Are you trying to live through me?
2370at least it was a very interesting experience.
2371The world is composed of givers and takers..the takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.
2372Blue bugs blood.
2373Don't ask what your community can do for you. Ask what you can do for your community.
2374The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of a train.
2375If you depend on others to make you happy, you will be endlessly disappointed.
2376Far too many people spend their lives reading the menu instead of enjoying the banquet.
2377He threw three free throws.
2378The insane create worlds, the sane live in them... the sane create cages, the insane live in them.
2379Your problem is never really your problem, your reaction to your problem is your problem.
2380Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
2381If you go out looking for friends, you're going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere.
2382The longer the title the less important the job.
2383God never said it would be easy .... He just said He would go with me.
2384All things are delicately interconnected
2385No hands (sports cliche).
2386I´ll teach you the international language...
2387The older I get, the older old is.
2388right on!
2389Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am!
2390I'll show him/her how the cow eats corn.
2391Money comes and goes, but people last for a lifetime.
2392A word gets its meaning by the person who speaks it.
2393that's all she wrote!
2394Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
2395It is not what's right about war, it's about what's left.
2396I'll chew and chew until my jaws drop.
2397A note left for a pianist from his wife: "Gone Chopin, have Liszt, Bach in a Minuet.".
2398What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
2399talk 'till your blue in the face.
2400Kill the ump!
2401She/he would a rock pile if she thought there was a snake in it.
2402When this van's a-rockin, don't come a-knockin.
2403he/she will be sorry.
2404To think too long about doing a thing, often becomes its undoing.
2405That's like being nibbled to death by ducks.
2406Traveler there is no trail you blaze the trail as you travel.
2407Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
2408Under the mother otter, muttered the other otter.
2409Mosquitoes are a great moral force; it forces mankind to wear more clothes that modesty.
2410there is harmony in disharmony.
2411Jesus did not come to make God's love possible, but to make God's love visible.
2412A fat-free fruit float.
2413If the wind stops, row!
2414Suffering well borne is better than suffering removed.
2415There are two theories about arguing with women. Neither one works.
2416As I said before, I never repeat myself.
2417Life is mostly froth and bubble;Two things stand like stone:Kindness in another's trouble,Courage in our own.
2418It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
2419Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
2420You may not be able to turn back the clock; but you can always wind it up again.
2421Don't think you're on the right road just because it's a well-beaten path.
2422Are you living for the things you are praying for?
2423The longer you wait, the better the date.
2424I wouldn't piss down your throat if your lungs were on fire.
2425The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.
2426I've seen better arms on a rocking chair. (refering to someone throwing an object like a baseball).
2427Lazy ness is the only luxury that not even a millionaire can afford.
2428If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.
2429Double bubble gum, bubbles double.
2430A crumb from a winner's table is better than a feast from a loser's table!
2431A happy person is one whose arithmetic is at its best when they is counting their blessings.
2432Don't count the days, make the days count.
2433Truly rural.
2434If you wait to have kids until you can afford them, you probably never will.
2435The crow flew over the river with a lump of raw liver. .
2436quit while you're ahead.
2437today is the first day of the rest of your life.
2438As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
2439Sometimes God doesn't tell us His plan because we wouldn't believe it anyway.
2440not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!
2441Give papa a cup of proper coffee in a copper coffee cup.
2442Disorganization is a kind of anesthesia
2443Vision that looks inward becomes duty. Vision that looks outward becomes aspiration. Vision that looks upward becomes faith.
2444She sits in her slip and sips Schlitz.
2445If God didn't forgive Heaven would be empty.
2446Friends forever; never apart, maybe by distance, but not by heart.
2447Church is the only place I know, where I can arrive late and get the best seats in the house!
2448receive a black eye over this.
2449A real friend is someone who takes a winter vacation on a sun-drenched beach and does not send a card.
2450Better a good heart than a fair face.
2451Singing Sammy sung songs on sinking sand.
2452love comes around while doing things you like.
2453We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.
2454There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself; hire someone; or forbid your kids to do it.
2455His teeth are brighter than he is.
2456To cool a hot attitude, apply nice. To melt a cold attitude, address warmly.
2457at wits' end.
2458Don't be afraid of opposition; Remember a kite rises against, not with the wind.
2459Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you respond to it.
2460A twofold national problem is how to preserve the wilderness in the country and get rid of the jungle in the cities.
2461I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch.
2462Thelma sings the theme song.
2463You satisfy the hungry heart with gift of finest wheat. Now give to us, O saving Lord, the bread of life to eat.
2464Yellow lorry, blue lorry.
2465Wives often object to life insurance, widows never do.
2466To live your life to the fullest, you've got to be a master of economics...after all, time's demand is always far exceeding it's supply.
2467Love is the unity of two hearts beating together as one.
2468Fools rush in - and get all the best seats.
2469A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything, except office.
2470Open your mind to God's wisdom, open your soul to God's peace, open your heart to God's love and all three will stay with you forever.
2471A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself.
2472People pick bad things from bad company very quickly but good company takes a good time to gift good things to them.
2473The shortest books: 1) A guide to arab democracies2) Everything men know about women3) The Amish phonebook.
2474In every organization there will be one person who knows what is going on....This person must be fired.
2475A big black bug bit a big black bear and made the big black bear bleed blood.
2476If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
2477June sheep sleep soundly.
2478Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
2479People forget how fast you did a job- but they remember how well you did it.
2480The world is so fast that there are days when the person who says it can't be done is interrupted by the person who is doing it.
2481Trust is like money; you spend it, you save it, you lend it, and sometimes you get robbed.
2482Some people drink deeply from the fountain of knowledge, while some others only gargle.
2483Politics: Poly.
2484The cold absolute truth is much more preferred than a kind and uncertain lie.
2485Wash Washington's windows with warm washing water.
2486The heart that loves is always young.
2487Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping.
2488If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
2489If you haven't much education you must use your brain.
2490We never know the worth of water till the well is dry.
2491For the child of God, death is when the earth recedes and heaven opens up.
2492Mrs. Smith's Fish Sauce Shop.
2493God loves you right where you are but he doesn't want to leave you there.
2494I wouldn't get angry at you today. It's "Be kind to Animals" week.
2495A kid's idea of a balanced diet is a hamburger in each hand.
2496When fear knocks at the door, and you answer, there will be no one there.
2497Mr. Tongue Twister tried to train his tongue to twist and turn, and twit an twat, to learn the letter ""T"".
2498How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?
2499Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students!
2500That which you cannot give away, you don't possess; it possesses you.
2501cat got your tongue?
2502Why is a blonde like a mosquito? She starts sucking, you keep slapping her away and she comes back for more.
2503This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
2504Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?
2505Ere her ear hears her err, here ears err here.
2506Money glitters, beauty sparkles, and intelligence shines.
2507On a front door: Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.
2508More doors are opened with "please" than with keys.
2509I had dreams and I've had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.
2510Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realising you were the prisoner!
2511A pack of pesky pixies.
2512Love God more than you fear hell.
2513Ability is what you're capable of doing...Motivation determines what you do...Attitude determines how well you do it.
2514The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.
2515How come abbreviated is such a long word?
2516No Witnesses, No Regrets.
2517there are lies, damned lies and statistics.
2518All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a thin person.
2519What is the difference between a Peeping Tom and someone who's just got out of the bath?One is rude and nosy, and the other's nude and rosy.
2520I shot three shy thrushes.
2521life's not so bad, when you consider the alternative.
2522Life is like a grammar lesson. You find the past perfect and the present tense.
2523Will it be cash or charge?
2524The most profound things are inexpressible
2525once bitten, twice shy.
2526I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with the lost.
2527Freshly-fried flying fish.
2528if today was a fish, I'd throw it back in the river.
2529Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
2530Where God guides, He provides.
2531History repeats itself, but each time the price goes up.
2532When they were handing out brains you arrived too late, all you got was a rain check.
2533Go ahead, just tear my heart right out of my chest.
2534Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
2535can't a cat look at a queen?
2536she's quite a ONE !
2537Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, faith looks up.
2538Get the hell out and take your friend with you!
2539Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop.
2540The Chinese word for "crisis" contains two characters. One of them means "opportunity".
2541He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas under a tree.
2542Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.
2543Observation: The user does not know what he wants until he sees what he gets.
2544Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
2545I would if I could! But I can't, so I won't!
2546If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
2547liar, liar, pants on fire.
2548We surely shall see the sun shine soon.
2549First things first! But not necessarily in that order.
2550While we were walking, we were watching window washers
2551he who laughs last, laughs loudest (or, he who laughs last, last laughs).
2552if given a shaft, make a car.
2553Bake big batches of bitter brown bread.
2554The person who says he trusts no one should include himself.
2555Fools look to tomorrow, wise men use tonight.
2556Big Ben blew big blue bubbles.
2557The bank of friendship cannot exist for long without deposits.
2558Useless as a piss hole in the snow.
2559If wishes were horses, all beggars would ride.
2560What time does the wristwatch strap shop shut?
2561One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.
2562A mother's work is never done.
2563Three free throws.
2564My Dad used to say always fight fire with fire, which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.
2565finer than frogs hair, split three ways.
2566If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
2567There can be no rainbow without a cloud and a storm.
2568A friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
2569Success is a journey not a destination.
2570If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.
2571The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
2572Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
2573Attitude might not catch fish, but it helps when you don't.
2574A person lives, to be loved.A person loves, to have lived.
2575A woman's greatest power is her vulnerability.
2576Astronomers do it orbitally.
2577The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
2578l'etat, c'est moi.
2579If you can't beat 'em, join'em.
2580Wish in one hand, crap in the other, and you'll never be empty-handed.
2581A missing mixture measure.
2582Paul, please pause for proper applause.
2583life is not hard, it only needs some positive thinking.
2584Life is so much simpler when you tell the truth.
2585To every complex problem there is an easy answer; and it is wrong!
2586I don't know your from adam's house cat!
2587All men make mistakes but married men find out about them sooner.
2588Love is blind.Marriage is the eye-opener.
2589the world goes to shit when I don't do this first.
2590This is the sixth zebra snoozing thoroughly.
2591Aspire to inspire before you expire.
2592No man ever repented on his deathbed of being a Christian.
2593Achilles' heel.
2594We've got to give 110%.
2595Never go to bed with anyone crazier than you.
2596Sweet sagacious Sally Sanders said she sure saw seven segregated seaplanes sailing swiftly southward Saturday.
2597If you your lips would keep from slips,Five things observe with care: Of whom you speak, to whom you speak,And how and when and where.
2598True happiness may be sought, thought, or caught -- but never bought.
2599A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup.".
2600She had shoulder surgery.
2601Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says...I'll try again tommorrow.
2602All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.
2603The pessimist complains about the direction of the wind, the optimist expects the direction to change, but the leader simply adjusts the sails!
2604you and who's army?
2605does ten pounds of dough make a big biscuit?
2606I need your help like I need a migrane.
2607life is messy.
2608If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilisation.
2609Your actions speak so loud that I can't hear what you're saying.
2610The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
2611For people who like peace and quiet: a phone less cord.
2612In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; in all things, charity.
2613He who laughs last thinks slowest!
2614I know you know what I think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
2615smooth moves, Exlax ( a good put down for a buddy).
2616To accomplish something, the first person you have to defeat is yourself.
2617slow as shit through a tin horn.
2618Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
2619que sera, sera.
2620Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.
2621Shy Shelly says she shall sew sheets.
2622I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
2623Always leave loved ones with loving words, it may be the last time you see them.
2624You bet!
2625better to keep your mouth shut and let everyone think you're a fool...
2626Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to re-train.
2627Don't count your eggs before they've hatched.
2628Rubber baby buggy bumpers.
2629There is a pill for every ill, and a bill for every pill.
2630Best friends don't ask you: "Is something wrong?"Best friends ask you: "Whats wrong?".
2631Outer agitation reveals inner instability.
2632The secret of happiness is to admire without desire.
2633Class structure is as artificial as plastic
2634You better think about the future, for it's where you will spend the rest of your life.
2635Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
2636To love is to risk getting hurt. Not to risk loving is the greatest risk of all.
2637It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
2638Goals are dreams with deadlines.
2639Twelve twins twirled twelve twigs.
2640If you have the desire, you are halfway there.
2641Passion: A feeling you feel when you feel a feeling you've never felt before.
2642Compromise: the art of dividing a cake so that everybody believes he or she got the biggest piece.
2643No matter what happens Today. You must remember that...Today will be Tomorrow's past, and Tomorrow will be Today.
2644I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.
2645if you lie down with dogs, you rise up with fleas.
2646An old-timer is someone who remembers every detail of their life story, but cannot remember how many times they have told the same person.
2647Youth is when we are always hunting greener pastures, and middle age is when we can barely mow the one we've got.
2648Catch a can canner canning a can as he does the cancan, amd you've caught a can-canning can-canning can canner!
2649Life is like an onion. You peel it off layer by layer and sometimes you cry.
2650A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?".
2651A girl phoned me and said...Come on over there's nobody home. I went over... Nobody was home!
2652Who got it, did get it; and who left it, did regret it.
2653The next time the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.
2654What flowers grow between your nose and your chin? .... Tulips.
2655Brisk brave brigadiers brandished broad bright blades, blunderbusses, and bludgeons -- Balancing them badly.
2656Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
2657A solid home base builds a sense of self
2658Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship, and find out you still care for that person.
2659Big doesn't necessarily mean better..sunflowers aren't better than violets.
2660Your neighbour is the man who needs you.
2661If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
2662For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
2663he put me in stitches (made me laugh).
2664Shut the door. Were you born in a barn?
2665Faith is not faith until it's all you're holding on to.
2666Astronomers do it with mirrors.
2667If you still have the courage after loosing all , you can be rest assured that you have not lost everything.
2668When you aim for perfection you discover it is a moving target.
2669winning isn't the only thing, it's everything.
2670Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.
2671there are plenty more fish in the sea.
2672You have to protect the privacy of the advice you get, or you'll never get the advice you need.
2673His motto is 'A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH', but expects yours to have gold in it.
2674When Washington's washer woman went west?
2675Enough money to burn a wet dog.
2676I have learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
2677A good way to change somebody's attitude is to change your own.
2678You! - OUT of my dream!
2679A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
2680I saw a fat person wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said 'Thyroid problem?'
2681A good heart is hard to find.
2682I'm glad I bumped into you today.
2683There is only one real failure in life that is possible, and that is not to be true to the best we know.
2684Adolescence and snow are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
2685When a person wants to believe something, it doesn't take much to convince them.
2686Don't tick him off or he'll bite your head off.
2687You can't legislate morality.
2688She saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa. But was she so sure she saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa?
2689Charity begins at home. Success begins at work.
2690Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic?
2691A banker is someone who lends you an umbrella when the sun is shining, and who asks for it back when it start to rain.
2692There are three ways to obtain wealth: inheritance, luck, and hard work. None is guaranteed, but you have no influence over the first two.
2693The biggest man you ever did see once was a baby.
2694Dedication is not what others expect of you; it is what you can give to others.
2695That which is acquired without difficulty is dispersed with equal facility.
2696Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo.
2697Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than look back.
2698You look familiar too, but that's not surprising, I collect bugs for a hobby.
2699Four-word story of failure: Hired, tired, mired, fired.
2700If you don't know where you're going how do you expect to get there.
2701A man who lives in a glass house should change in basement.
2702Artichokes are like humans: you have to go through so much to get to the heart.
2703Flirtation...Attention without intention.
2704Don't rock the boat.
2705every rose has its thorn.
2706Born twice, die once. Born once, die twice.
2707It never rains, it pours.
2708If suffering brings wisdom, I would wish to be less wise.
2709All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today and yesterday.
2710Happiness is not something you have in your hands; it is something you carry in you heart.
2711Six slippery snails, slid slowly seaward.
2712get lost (go away).
2713I close my eyes in order to see.
2714A wise person has something to say, a fool has to say something.
2715Good taste is boundless, while bad taste knows no bounds.
2716The trouble with most jobs is the resemblance to being in a dog sled team. No one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.
2717Wherever you are - be all there.
2718He that lets the small things bind him, leaves the great undone behind him.
2719There is truth in humor, but not humor in truth.
2720Few free fruit flies fly from flames.
2721Your child has started growing up when he stops asking you where he came from and starts refusing to tell you where he's going.
2722Give a man a fish and he won't starve for a day. Teach a man how to fish and he won't starve for his entire life.
2723There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path!
2724Need some time to be alone, try washing the dishes!
2725There is no such thing as government money, only taxpayer money.
2726Smile.... it makes others wonder what you're thinking.
2727That which was hard to endure is sweet to remember.
2728Gale's great glass globe glows green.
2729Hell has no exits.Heaven needs none.
2730no problem, it's a done deal.
2731We shouldn't deny the pain of what happens in our lives. We should just refuse to focus only on the valleys.
2732Astronomers do it parabolically.
2733So many people will walk in and out of your life, but those who leave foot prints are true friends.
2734Two toads, totally tired.
2735A sense of timing is the mark of genius
2736keep your eyes glued to the T.V.
2737eighty sixed (as in 86'd from a bar).
2738Failure is opportunity in disguise.
2739The world would run a lot smoother if more men knew how to dance.
2740when the cat's away, the mice will play.
2741Alienation produces eccentrics or revolutionaries
2742The shortest distance between two jokes makes a perfect speech.
2743I have discovered the whole problem with the National Debt. Most of us work 5 days a week, and the government spends 7.
2744What did the blonde say when she looked into the box of Cheerios? "OH LOOK!!! Donut seeds."
2745God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.
2746Every person is a fool in somebody's opinion.
2747Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
2748you look like somebody shot at and missed, shit at and hit.
2749Hard work spotlights the character of people; some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all!
2750Cultivate money and you grow rich. Cultivate mind and you raise culture.
2751I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
2752tastes like chicken.
2753I once saw this sign on a diner wall: "I have an agreement with the bank: they don't fry hamburgers, and I don't cash checks.".
2754Treat people as if they were what they should be, and you help them become what they are capable of becoming.
2755Life is like a game of tennis; the player who serves well seldom loses.
2756Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
2757Astronomers do it meteorically.
2758In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, people take prozac to make it normal.
2759Skier; one who pays an arm and a leg for the opportunity to break them.
2760When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity.
2761It's cold, but it's a dry cold!
2762A fair face may fade, but a beautiful soul last forever.
2763You can never understand the true value of something until you don't have it anymore.
2764Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes.
2765He's suffering from hardening of the hearteries.
2766A turbot's not a burbot, for a turbot's a butt, but a burbot's not.
2767When something terrible happens people wake up
2768A person is as big as the things that make him angry.
2769We have to take one game at a time.
2770How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
2771Lord give me an answer, or give me the patience to wait for one, just do it now please!
2772When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
2773Hold your wagon!
2774Little Mike left his bike like Tike at Spike's.
2775How do you know there's a blonde secretary working in an office? The boss is always smiling.
2776Wally Winkle wriggles his white, wrinkled wig.
2777Go jump in the lake!
2778Jack the jailbird jacked a jeep.
2779May your life be long and useful like a roll of toilet paper.
2780Some people take too much of vitamin "I".
2781Ed had edited it.
2782Peggy Bobcock's mummy.
2783When the going still gets tough, the tough, pray.
2784A day late and a dollar short!
2785Knowing yourself lets you understand others
2786America, the melting pot of the world.
2787The way to make the cold winter go fast is to sign a note in October that becomes due in six months.
2788Bake big batches of brown blueberry bread.
2789And which dwarf are you?
2790How do you start your days? Good morning Lord or Good Lord, morning.
2791The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.
2792It is not the relation which is important, but the relationship that is important!
2793I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
2794We often fear being rejected so very much that we reject ourselves first before anyone else has the chance.
2795A crisis is when you can't say: "let's forget the whole thing".
2796Don't learn the tricks of the trade, learn the trade.
2797The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.
2798Learning history is easy. Learning its lessons is almost impossible.
2799The older the violin, the sweeter the music.
2800Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
2801Heat it up!
2802The trouble with work is - it's so daily.
2803I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen. Not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
2804The foundation of relationships is based on the premise of mutual purpose.
2805Drama often obscures the real issues
2806The church is looking for better methods. God is looking for better men.
2807Fear doesn't overwhelm you; you let fear overwhelm you.
2808Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.
2809When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
2810A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
2811Unique New York.
2812Don't be so Heavenly minded that you do no earthly good.
2813A wise man may look ridiculous in the company of fools.
2814The meaning of life is not a question to be answered, but an event to be experienced.
2815The sawingest saw I ever saw saw
2816Christians aren't perfect, they're just forgiven!
2817A truth spoken before its time is dangerous.
2818Knife and a fork bottle and a cork
2819Bad black bran bread.
2820The Congress is a strange place where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.
2821The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
2822A woman never shot a man while he was doing dishes.
2823I'm old enough to know better but I'm still to young to care.
2824My five-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher what her father does, and she replied, "Whatever my Mom tells him to.".
2825Judicial system.
2826Lovely lemon liniment.
2827so far, so good.
2828If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?
2829be at peace with yourself (shut-up).
2830Women: can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
2831The will of God will never take you to where the grace of God will not protect you.
2832Which wristwatch is a Swiss wristwatch?
2833He got his parents a fifty-piece dinner set for their Golden Anniversary a box of toothpicks.
2834I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
2835there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
2836The desire of knowledge, like the thirst of riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it.
2837When they were giving out noses, you thought they said hoses, and you said "I don't mind if mine drips a little bit"
2838If the human brain was simple enough for us to understand we'd be so simple we couldn't understand.
2839Autopsy is a dying practice.
2840During a carnival, men put masks over their masks.
2841one day I will wake up, and it will all fit together.
2842One time a windshield wiper will work properly is when it is holding a parking ticket.
2843Soul-winning and missions is the life blood of the church.
2844of course life is hard, that's why they pay you the big bucks.
2845Presence is more than just being there. If your absence doesn't make any difference, your presence won't either.
2846after the rain comes a rainbow.
2847Let nature take its course and hope it passes.
2848it's time to fold.
2849Hurry dog eats raw meat.
2850He ran over me like a speed bump.
2851get a kick (out of something).
2852a walk is as good as a hit (baseball).
2853everything is vanity.
2854Observation: It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
2855After the government takes enough to balance the budget, the taxpayer has the job of budgeting the balance.
2856To do is to be -- Marx. Do be do be do -- Sinatra.
2857Failure comes in two ways: Those who do it without giving a thought. Those who thought about it but do nothing.
2858The difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is about a week.
2859Alimony: funds which allow a woman who lived unhappily married to live happily unmarried.
2860A very pretty box with a bow but nothing inside.
2861How much can can a cannibal nibble, if a cannibal can nibble can?
2862Walk the words you talk and talk the words you walk.
2863Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.
2864A friend is someone that won't begin to talk behind your back when you leave the room.
2865I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know who holds tomorrow.
2866Money talks bull shit walks.
2867a penny saved is a penny saved.
2868Measure twice. Cut once.
2869I've seen better looking legs on a table.
2870I always complained because my work was being interupted - until I realised the interuptions were my work.
2871beauty's only skin deep; ugly goes through to the bone.
2872Are you showing your Blond?
2873A politician is a person who can make waves and then make you think they are the only one who can save the ship.
2874By the time a man realises that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.
2875Beat me with the truth, don't torture me with lies.
2876Every ten seconds, somewhere on this earth, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
2877Quotations are sometimes valuable pearls, but original thoughts can be priceless treasure.
2878I believe in the Big Bang theory. God spoke and BANG! It was.
2879Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one!
2880When they were giving out heads, you thought they said breads, and you said "I'd like mine nice and doughy"
2881Clones are people two.
2882People with true character show it when nobody else is present.
2883Those who drink to drown their sorrows should be taught that sorrows know how to swim.
2884don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you.
2885If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
2886Lily ladles little Letty's lentil soup.
2887True love can not be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it does.
2888Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
2889this too, shall pass.
2890Friendship is a golden chain, the links are friends so dear, and like a rare and precious jewel It's treasured more each year.
2891What passes as a woman's intuition, is usually nothing more than a mans transparency.
2892The boss is always right, even when he's wrong.
2893I see Isis's icy eyes.
2894I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 96% how I react to it.
2895Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes to the bone.
2896shooter's eye (basketball cliche).
2897when a boat goes aground, mother nature has spoken.
2898They both, though, have thirty-three thick thimbles to thaw.
2899The burdens of the world on my back lightens the world not one whit, while removing them greatly decreases my specific gravity.
2900Who washed Washington's white woolen underwear
2901Keep something in reserve for emergencies
2902Two things are sure in life: There is a God, and you are not him.
2903Run it up the flagpole and see who slautes it.
2904bread and butter play (football cliche).
2905The wrd of God will keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from the Word of God.
2906The first time we kissed, I closed my eyes, You closed your eyes and........ We missed!
2907A lusty lady loved a lawyer and longed to lure him from his laboratory.
2908A bloke's back bike brake block broke.
2909Who gossips to you will gossip of you.
2910Can't never did anything but fail.
2911The only thing worse than an ignorant man is an ignorant man with a bible.
2912Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything.
2913Ape Cakes, Grape Cakes.
2914Use what talents you possess; The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.
2915Serve Locally - Pray Globally.
2916Anyone who thinks that they are too small to make a difference, has never been in bed with a mosquito.
2917Our toaster works on either AC or DC, but not on bread. It has two settings: too soon or too late.
2918collect a bundle of.........
2919Consider how hard it is to change yourself; and you will understand what little chance you have trying to change others.
2920If you can't beat them, join them.
2921Half of the world's misery comes from ignorance. The other half comes from intelligence.
2922A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
2923Preshrunk shirts.
2924Everyone's work is equally important
2925Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.
2926Suzie Seaword's fish-sauce shop sells unsifted thistles for thistle-sifters to sift.
2927as lucky as a man in a women's prison with a fist full of pardons.
2928In communism, man oppresses man. In capitalism, it's the other way around.
2929Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
2930The best way to keep your kids out of hot water is to put some dishes in it.
2931Busier than a three tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
2932Vincent vowed vengeance very vehemently.
2933Rules without relationship equals rebellion.
2934We're real rear wheels.
2935A name means a lot just by itself
2936How many berries could a bare berry carry,
2937The act of giving is more important than the merit of the receiver.
2938Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.
2939A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
2940Blowing out another's candle will not make yours shine brighter.
2941Anyone can make a mountain out of a molehill by throwing on more dirt.
2942Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
2943If you don't want your children to hear what you're saying, pretend you're speaking directly to them.
2944Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been but also where you're going.
2945A man spends the first half of his life learning habits that shorten the other half of his life.
2946been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
2947he's an animal, throw him some raw meat.
2948Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.
2949The ship is safer in the harbour, but it is not meant for that.
2950who died and made you boss?
2951Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes? "Toe goes in first".
2952When no one is watching, live as if someone is.
2953Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays, it insists on it.
2954Handicapped is not helpless.
2955Plymouth sleuths thwart Luther's slithering.
2956The grass is brown on both sides of the fence.
2957Better untaught than ill-taught.
2958Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
2959Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
2960A sincere effort is all you can ask
2961we're going backwards and forwards,backwards and forwards and ain't getting no eggs, nohow.
2962God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruit of the Spirit" over "religious nuts!".
2963Stupidity is NOT a handicap! PARK ELSEWHERE!
2964Rhys watched Ross switch his Irish wristwatch for a Swiss wristwatch.
2965College is that bright interlude of freedom a young man has between subjection to his mother and submission to his wife.
2966Let me give so much time to the improvement of myself that I shall have no time to criticize others.
2967Busier than a one-eyed cat watching two mouse holes.
2968Dig yourself out of a hole.
2969He who pays the piper calls the tune.
2970People are like tea bags - You have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are!
2971Tim, the thin twin tinsmith
2972A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
2973What do you mean overdrawn, I still have checks.
2974it's always the quiet ones.
2975If you want something done, ask someone who is busy!
2976Sometimes it costs more to do nothing than to do something.
2977Do you have peanutbutter in your ears?
2978History is a selective interpretation of events designed to justify those currently in power. Memory is the same thing on an individual scale.
2979c'est la vie.
2980Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
2981Save Gas, Eat Beans!
2982waiting always lasts long.
2983Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
2984It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial charges and blamed it on the cost of living.
2985I could drown in a frown and swim in a smile.
2986It is impossible to overestimate the immense need that humans have to be listened to, understood, and taken seriously.
2987The secret of true greatness is simplicity.
2988It is frequently more economical to be inefficient.
2989La verité est toujours l'idée de tout le monde.
2990I remain just one thing, and one thing only -- and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician.
2991Five fat friars frying flat fish.
2992We only grow when we step outside our comfort zone.
2993Observation: When you are over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
2994Thank the other three brothers of their father's mother's brother's side.
2995You can't do anything, if you believe you can't.
2996Politics makes strange bed fellows.
2997it has to get worse, before it gets better.
2998My name is mud.
2999Love is not paid back only passed on.
3000Proverbs contain within one or two lines the lessons of lifetime.
3001Whoever acquires knowledge and does not practice it resembles him who ploughs his land and leaves it unsown.
3002Success is relative - the more success, the more relatives.
3003I will survive.
3004Inchworms itching.
3005Feed you faith and your doubts will starve to death!
3006You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
3007Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again
3008The noblest revenge is to forgive.
3009Early to bed and early to rise makes a man health, wealthy and wise.
3010A man is his own island.
3011A perfect guest is one who makes his host feel at home.
3012Those who jump to conclusions often land in ignorance.
3013It was swept under the carpet.
3014Habit is a cable; we spin a thread of it every day and at last we can not break it.
3015weed (marijauna).
3016more confused than a woodpecker in a concrete forest.
3017Triumph is "umph" added to try.
3018It is not a war on drugs; it's a war on people.
3019Five fuzzy French frogs Frolicked through the fields in France.
3020There is only on thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience.
3021You can't get there from here.
3022Sign on a church bulletin board: You aren't too bad to come in, You aren't good enough to stay out.
3023behind the clouds, the sun is shining.
3024You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down.
3025Anger opens the mouth and shuts the mind.
3026Big black bugs bleed blue black blood but baby black bugs bleed blue blood.
3027Live for Jesus now and spend the rest of eternity in the non-smoking section.
3028He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.
3029He has lots of fortitude. He'll stand for nearly anything, but a woman on a train.
3030good old (ole) boy.
3031He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes....
3032Attention span measured in micro seconds.
3033The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.
3034Failure is nature's plan to prepare you for great responsibilities.
3035Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
3036Anything that can be changed will be changed until there is no time left to change anything.
3037nothing ventured, nothing lost (or gained).
3038there are ears in the corn field.
3039The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.
3040obtained a black eye over something(meaning a loss of reputation or respect).
3041Laughter is the jam on the toast of life; it adds flavour, keeps it from becoming too dry, and makes it easier to swallow.
3042Our five senses are incomplete without the sixth - a sense of humor.
3043The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common "enemy".
3044When you are standing on the edge of a cliff a step forward is not progress.
3045Confucius Say: Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
3046Alimony is having an ex-husband you can bank on.
3047The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
3048I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
3049Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
3050Shared suffering brings people together faster than anything else does.
3051Sometimes it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission.
3052A smart husband buys his wife very fine china so she won't trust him to wash it.
3053No horse goes as fast as the money you bet on him.
3054I don't know how to break this to you but....
3055What you are is God's gift to you, what you become is your gift to God.
3056Kinky kite kits.
3057Tommy Tucker tried to tie Tammy's Turtles tie.
3058Lets Chew the fat.
3059Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
3060A person is getting along the road to wisdom when they begin to realize that their opinion is just another opinion.
3061such is life, and it's getting sucher and sucher.
3062It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.
3063One good thing about forgetting is that you can no longer worry about what ever it was you forgot.
3064There is no "I" in team, but there is a "ME".
3065When God allows a burden to be put upon you, He will put His arms underneath you to help you carry it.
3066I would if I could.
3067Better than a kick in the ass with a frozen boot ( reference to being better than something potentially worse).
3068Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him, and then choose that way with all his strength.
3069No need to light a night light on a light night like tonight.
3070The difference between men and boys .... .... is the price of their toys.
3071How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
3072Because you are someone special I send jou my love today For you are verry wonderful In each and every way.
3073Don't do as I do, do as I say.
3074Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
3075one lost, ten found.
3076Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.
3077Statistics is like a Bikini; what is revealed is suggestive, but what is concealed is vital.
3078time will tell.
3079i say jump, you say, how high?
3080If you step in a puddle, don't blame the puddle.
3081Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
3082never up, never in.
3083Excuse For Not Having Math Homework: I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
3084Availability is better than ability for God.
3085You will come across hope and despair in almost every situation. Only one of them wins each time.
3086Knock me over with a feather!
3087always look at the bright side of life.
3088Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
3089Categorizing fear is calming
3090Such a shapeless sash!
3091Precious is the parrot who is trained by a clean tongue.
3092There goes one tough top cop!
3093The woman who thinks no man is good enough for her may be right.... But she is more often left.
3094Some persons don't know the difference between thinking for yourself, and thinking of yourself.
3095Ripe white wheat reapers reap ripe white wheat right.
3096feed a cold, starve a fever.
3097My dog is very obedient, he does what he is bid. A sign said 'wet paint', and that's just what he did.
3098Art is work, to sell it is art.
3099You can put glitter on shit but it still stinks!!
3100He threw three balls.
3101Boredom makes you do crazy things
3102I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice.
3103Larry Hurley, a burly squirrel hurler, hurled a furry squirrel through a curly grill.
3104Can't find his/her way out of a paper bag.
3105People pledging plenty of pennies.
3106Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.
3107don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon.
3108if at first you don't succeed, try try again.
3109I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
3110If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
3111Busier than a one-armed paper-hanger.
3112Every man reaps what he sows, except the amateur gardener.
3113every Tom, Dick and Harry.
3114Eddie edited it.
3115Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you will land among the stars.
3116The British have a reputation for keeping calm even when there is no crisis.
3117just between you, me, and the fence post.
3118A young person knows the rules but the old person knows the exceptions.
3119You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.
3120I never went to bed with an ugly woman; woke up with a few.
3121Attitude must be an art because it draws, and not a science because it can't be measured.
3122My "check engine" light came on the other day. I popped the hood, and looked, the engine is STILL there! Silly light . . .
3123I'm not offended by what you say. I'm just glad that you're stringing words into sentences now.
3124Be careful or you'll poke your eye out!
3125lock, stock and barrel.
3126Freedom is doing what you know is right without fear.
3127Six sick sheep.
3128What a shame such a shapely sash should such shabby stitches show.
3129You got your brain very early. Apparently the warranty has run out.
3130haraka haraka haina baraka (Swahili: in hurry, hurry there is no blessing).
3131True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like autumn leaves, scattered everywhere.
3132What is this, a tea party?
3133People do not care how much you know, till they know how much you care!
3134A rich person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.
3135Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager
3136As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
3137By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game.
3138To love for the sake of being loved is human; to love for the sake of loving is angelic.
3139People in power need the power of prayer.
3140I slept like a baby, I woke up and cried every two hours.
3141Indian build small fire stand real close, White man build BIG fire stand way back....
3142Two Truckee truckers truculently truckling
3143If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace...you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
3144The lights are on but no one's home.
3145Being happy is more important than anything else
3146History is a set of lies agreed upon by the victors.
3147A hole is nothing at all, but you can break your neck in it.
3148The next time you'll meet anyone like him, it will have to be In a Nightmare.
3149An adolescent is a person who acts like a baby when they aren't treated like an adult.
3150If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.
3151The epitome of femininity.
3152Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free ?
3153abandon hope, all ye who enter here.
3154Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
3155A strong sense of duty can imprison you
3156I wish you were a fish in my dish
3157A disbelief in God does not result in a belief in nothing; disbelief in God usually results in a belief in anything.
3158There is more meat on a chicken's forehead!