· 6 years ago · Apr 16, 2019, 10:52 PM
1When-the class average on a test-was a 15 percent on a test-but you got a 16 percent, sometimes, my genius-is, it’s almost frightening,
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3Me at 3 am thinking-about-that time I tried-to wash a paper plate eight years ago,
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5Me showing girls my collection of failures,
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7I’m a brave boy, cave 13, minecraft cave-sounds, not a brave enough boy for-this,
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9Me-and my brother, finds two sticks-that are just right, me, you know-what-to do, me-and him 10 seconds later,
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11Spider man, gentleman with arachnid abilities, dust,
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13God, were you religious, me, when I was 11 I looked up Aphrodite e-to see naked girls, god,
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15Me looking for an answer for one question online, finding-the answers-to-the entire sheet,
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17Nobody, 69 year olds,
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19a 69 year old man fails-to smuggle-tortoises disguised as pastries into Berlin airport,
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21Europeans waking up-to all-the-top gear meem's, they are-the funniest creatures on earth, aren’t-they,
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23americans,
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25Woman goes blind in one eye-after playing mobile game all day, PC gamers, pathetic,
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27Literally no one, inside edition, is breathing safe,
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29When you down vote ads, sort-by new, donate-to wikipedia, up vote posts you enjoy, go up-the stairs three steps at a time-and play minecraft, I am aware of-the effect I-have on women,
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31The rest of Europe, what happened-to those 10 million plus civilians, joseph stalin, good question,
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33Samsung releases a foldable phone, case manufactures,
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35This-is not funny vaccinations cause autism-and other crippling conditions, yeah, like a long life, how-about fight me in real life, my un-vaxed muscles can easily take you out lil bitch, why would you want-to fight-someone who has autism, destruction 100,
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37Oh boy I cant wait-to show off my new blue headband on piru street in Compton california,
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39When you realize-the mods-have-to see end game spoilers-to protect-the rest of us,
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41Weebs who speak japanese, com rad who speaks russian, me, who knows fluent enchanting table,
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43The phenomenon of crown shyness, where trees avoid-touching, nobody, my dinner plate-when I was a kid cause I didn’t want my food-to-touch,
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45Your clash of clans village-is-being raided, by,
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47Florida man steals a car, realizes a baby-is in-it, drops baby off safely, and makes his get away, you are bad guy, but-this does not mean you are bad guy,
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49Sweet jesus, derp, that’s not honey, you’re eating 2011 meem's, fffffffuh uh uh uh uh,
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51Frantically waving hands-and chasing down ice cream truck, hey-wait, what’ll-it-be lady, out of breath, nothing, just wanted-to tell you I don’t watch game of thrones,
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53Do I get a piano tutorial, I was one of your first 100 subscribers, mr cube we love you,
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55thanks for sticking around man, that’s neither a yes-or a no, this-is-like getting friend zoned,
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57Electronic arts, no mighcro transactions, no loot boxes, oh, they got-this all screwed up, no mighcro transactions?
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59no, loot boxes,
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61Austria-when fighting prussia, Austria-when fighting france, Austria-when fighting-the ottomans, Austria-when fighting austria,
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63Me at-the store, mom, can I-have minecraft, mom, no, we-have games at home, games at home,
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65When-the Chinese clan-is destroying your clan in clan wars-so your clan renames-itself June 4 1989 Tee an nehn men Square massacre, my strateegical mind-beats you in every way possible,
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67I was-the only one who would bake with my grandmother, when she died she left her-best recipe-to everyone-except she deliberately left out a crucial step as payback, that’s-the level of petty I aspire-to,
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69Me at-the minecraft trade center, mom can we get diamond armor, mom, no, we-have diamond armor at home, diamond armor at home,
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71When you show a Face book mom a meem without minions, what’s-the joke,
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73Thank you big bro for downloading minecraft on my computer,
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75Schools, the mighto kondria-is-the powerhouse of-the cell, me, ok cool, but how do taxes work, schools, good question,
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77Me thinking-about minecraft roof designs for my next build,
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79My 13 year old-son who-is tech savvy claims he knows a password-that can shut down our internet connection temporarily-and says he will activate-the system-if we do not agree-to buy more video games,
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81am I right-to-believe him-or-is he bluffing, hackerman,
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83Asian-tourists, notices a hobo jerking off in a dumpster, asian-tourists,
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85This black hole-is 23 billion miles in diameter, for reference, our whole dang-solar system-is a puny 5.5 billion miles across, our stupid ape brains can’t process numbers-this big, it’s very,
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87very nearly as large as your mom,
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89I-have burning liquid diarrhea shit dripping down my leg,
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91T eye 84 graphing calculator, 1 plus 4,
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93I look under skirts,
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95Fire at notre dame cathedral, sad crusader noise,
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97tips, good, the-best, watery, sweet, Now-that I know-what type of water melon-to pick up from-the local food store, I’m ready-to-become a dad, my dad just slaps-it-and knows,
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99What happened in Tee ah nehn men square, china in 1939, good question,
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101When you’re a failure-but at least you don’t smoke meth,
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103Sonic says, I sexually identify as a failure,
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105May I interrupt your scrolling with a nice duck,
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107My grades, me, red-it,
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109Covers face with hand, 3 year olds, yo-they left, me, peekaboo, 3 year old,
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111When you ask for pussy pics-but she sends her vagina instead of cute cats,
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113Coachella-is expensive-and probably smells horrible, I’d rather go-to home dee poe, it’s free-and smells amazing, plus I can go with my dad,
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115Just-to-be clear, ant man will not-be crawling into thah nose's asshole-and-then expand in avengers end game, pathetic,
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117When you’re-the first man-to serve as both president of-the united states-and chief justice of-the supreme court-but you’re only remembered for struggling-to get out of bathtubs,
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119When-someone remembers-and brings up-that one embarrassing thing you did 10 years ago, cersi, you,
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121I bought you a new coffee mug, that’s-too much, you didn’t need-to do-that, no worries, the doctor said I should get-it back in-about a week,
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123Middle schoolers in 2014-when-their crush posted a-like for ah t b h rate-and got a tbh your chill, 6,
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125Therapist, how-have you-been managing your symptoms, me, clink clink bitch,
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127It’s my lucky day y’all, what-if-the change we find in-between cushions of couches are from spiders try nah pay rent,
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129me, mom, can we-have McDonalds, mom, no, we-have food at home, food at home,
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131Sahl mah Hayek’s husband-is donating 100 million-to help rebuild Notre dame-so I’m sending my $20-to him, so-that makes-it 100,000,020 dollars from both of us,
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133When you randomly pause a youTube video-and accidentally create a new meme format,
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135Light bulbs, Carry on bags, yes, checked bags, yes, Light saber, Carry on bags, yes, checked bags, yes,
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137sadly, the technology doesn’t currently exist-to create a real lightsaber, however, you can pack a-toy lightsaber in your carry on-or checked bag, may-the force-be with you,
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139High school teachers, college-is not a joke, question I had on my college exam-today, question 22, bonus, if I’m gonna take my horse-to-the old-town road, I’m gonna, ride till I can’t no more,
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141Damn-what kind of conditioner she use,
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143Raise your hand-if you-believe spoiling end game-before people-have had time-to see-it-is ban worthy,
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145Guys thinking of ways-to turn-the conversation into getting nudes,
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147Avengers end game includes Stan lee’s final cameo, says Joe russo, I am not ready-to-be without you,
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149SIRI how early-is-too early for a fuh lahfel,
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151Gamer girls-today will-be mother-that will understand an online game can’t-be paused,
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153When you finally meet your online girlfriend, ah, I see you’re a man as well,
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155Why can’t you just-be normal, falls,
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157The real reason-why avengers end game-is more than three hours long, so, about 10 years ago, tony stark was kidnapped-and,
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159Listening at a high volume for a long time may damage your hearing, tap ok-to allow-the volume-to-be increased above safe levels, me, I don’t remember asking you a god damn thing,
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161Nobody, minecraft villagers,
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163Private-social media accounts of my crush, me, let me in, let me innnnn,
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165When I wake up-before my friend at a sleepover-and-have-to wait for-them-to wake up,
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167Nobody, sponge bob-after taking lsd,
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169When you realize-the mods are going-to-have end game spoiled for-them-to protect us,
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171When-the red-it app says 17 plus-but you download-it anyway, Looks-like I'm-about-to break-the law,
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173No matter how low effort-the meem-is, it still technically-took several billions of years for-it-to-be made,
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175There-is a cure for cancer, his name-is jesus, there-is a cure for H I V slash aids, his name-is jesus,
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177There-is a cure for lupus, his name-is jesus, there-is a cure for diabetes, his name-is jesus, well-when-is he going-to publish his research,
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179Seeing a problem-at work, reporting a problem-at work, fixing a problem-at work, creating a problem-so you can report-it-and-then fix-it-to look-better-than everyone else,
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181Elderly women, retail workers-that won't let-them use expired coupons,
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183Explorer, I've found-this shitty-island in-the middle of no-where, british empire,
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185No one showed up-to my pet raccoon's pool party, sad raccoon gets surprise party from ferrets,
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187Nobody, literally no one, not a single fucking-soul, YouTube recommendations, Chicken wearing sneakers,
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189What-if you, wanted-to go-to heaven, but pope leo-the tenth said, insert bill here,
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191When you invite your girlfriend over-to build your new bionicles set-but you end up losing your virginity instead, well, today was a fantastic waste of time,
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193I call my dick reality, bitches can't handle reality, reality-is often disappointing,
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195Me, takes out phone on-the bus, 5 year olds on-the bus,
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197Do y'all laugh-at your own jokes, yes bruh, sometimes I can't-even get-it out, I-be-so weak,
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199L m ay oh-who answered yellow, me,
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201I looked forward in time, I saw 14,000,605 futures, so will you spoil-the end game for us, nah, I am a responsible redittor
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203Parents, why-is-the electricity out-and-why are you black, me, after sticking my dick-into-the-socket, good question,
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205See-the ball, feel-the ball, be-the ball,
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207Yeah I'm a gamer, cool math games, tetris, we sports resort, mar e o kart we, animal crossing, web kinz, mine craft,
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209Florida man stops street fight-by running everyone over, sometimes my genius-is, it's almost frightening,
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211When mom asks-why your homework folder-is more-than 10 terra bites, good question,
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213Was doing a mock driving test-and I said zoom zoom bitch-and my instructor gave me a minor for road rage l o l,
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215Got-the oil changed in my car without my dad telling me-to-and now he won't stop calling me sport,
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217Guys wearing-this hat-have a 125 percent chance of referring-to movies as films,
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219When you're eating her ass-and she sneezes-and asks-what happened, good question,
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221Me, takes a single bite of a banana-at-the school lunch table, everyone else sitting-there, I diagnose you with gay,
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223My favorite shakespeare quote, what, you egg, he stabs him,
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225Me, may I use-the bathroom, my teacher, I don't know, can yeh wait-what, me, My strateegical mind-beats you in every way possible,
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227When you try-to pass a silent fart in public-and end up shitting your pants, into exile, I must go, failed, I-have,
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229Normal-song, exists, trap nation,
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231Me, watches movie with very brief sehx scene, my parents-who I-haven't seen all day,
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233Top ten people ighn stighn was scared-to face,
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235You let your pets on your-bed, yes bitch, that-is my child,
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237Nobody, teck YouTubers,
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239Rich people, poor people, you're actually a savage-if you pressed read more, Now you-have great luck in 2019, Like-to activate,
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241P T S D-is just spicy nostalgia,
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243Slavery-is gay-because you are literally owning a bunch of other men, miss me with-that gay shit, abraham Lincoln, april eleventh 1861,
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245Movie, has brief sehx scene, my dad-who's-been gone for 7 years