XnmF0Tyh

1I forgot my backup egg one time.
2
3It was awful.May I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?[Wowee](https://i.imgur.com/rOjRDdQ.jpg)[We're making acronyms!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFYwueh05mM)why wallet if i have nothingI could go for some eggs right about nowI'd suggest WOWEEE
4
5Wallet
6phOne
7Wkeys
8Egg
9Egg (backup)
10Egg (extra egg in case someone is in a trying time)I go with the "funky walrus" check. Basically started off as "phone, keys, wallet" and over time mutated to become "funky walrus." I'm normal. I don't get it. Is she famous or something?Checklist is saved my ass 1000x. Most valuable thing I have, I would pay money for it if it wasn't free. Cell phone, wallet, car keys, regular keys, Ipod, coffee, candy, sex./r/northernlion is leakingThat girl looks like Mormon DaenerysHow to Basic irlI dunno how many times I've heard "but I don't have enough room in my pockets for a backup egg!" Guys, that's why we invented fanny packs many decades ago.Wowee
11
12wOwee
13
14Wowee
15
16wowEe
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18woweEHer?This is the most retarded thing I've ever seen.Kh...Khaleesi ?[Link to tweet.](https://twitter.com/figgled/status/908148215874068481)I go with; spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch.lol so random \*holds up egg*Can someone explain this to me?Smart. These are very trying times for everyone. A backup egg can come in handy. HowToBasic's wife?But what about the droid attack on the Wkeys?I always count to 7 before i leave my home, because i am dumb as hell.
191. keys
202. wallet
213. phone
224. wedding ring
235. glasses
246. food
25Very important is
267. door is closed
27
28At the company it continues and ends with
29
308. hand break
319. car closed
32
33Theres a story behind this but to keep the story short, i am dumb as hell :D
34I've thought about upvoting this post for the past 8 hours and I've decided that yes, it is good.I feel like the acronym "THICC" would come in handy more often
35
36walleT
37pHone
38Ikeys
39baCon
40baConMust be buddies with Frank from IASIPAny Metalocalypse fans?
41
42In my head, I read WOWEE in Toki's voice./r/EDC irlThis chat is now in WOWEE mode. You may only post WOWEE every WOWEE secondsWowee i could really use an egg I read this half an hour ago and thought "haha, it made sense until the weird egg bit." Read it again now and realized that only Wallet makes senseIs Wkey Whisky? I need that to cope with leaving the house and going to my shitty retail job. I don't get it. Can someone explain? wowee too thanksThat's definitely what HowToBasic Uses.Decoy egg.[deleted]What is your pocket egg policy?>attractive
43
44r/absolutelynotmeirlBoy oh boy, do I hate it when I forget my Wkeys at home.I dott get this reference Spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch. This made me laugh for three straight minutes, thank you for that. Hadn't laughed out loud like this in quite a while.HowToBasic when leaving the house>WkeysHere for the first time.  I saw every username as "me irl" and thought the same person actually commented this many times on the thread.  Took me a second to realize what was going on.Is she secretly HowToBasic?This will get lost in all of the above but my granddad used to always say "testicles, spectacles, wallet and watch" while crossing his body pockets for such items before he left the apartment.  Every time.  I'm a girl so I have my own variation but was happy to see my granddad wasn't as nuts as I'd thought at 13years old and I parted on me a great outward bound check list.  Has saved me many times.  I do, however, hafta add poop bags cause I have a dog.  [You have to eat ALL the eggs](https://i.redditmedia.com/_a8oGZBX-pwTisGwhNXCpsC9OH0ASP3SIKIyKwjW42c.jpg?w=654&s=af348c173e4205adf605298cb5b5c352)L is for the letter L
45
46O is for the omelet in my sheets
47
48V is very, very
49
50EggOkay I fucking lost it. WkeysI always pat myself down and say (rap) to myself "wallet, keys, phone. Bullet proof this bitch and I'm gone". Great advice from Mr. Meeseeks! Wowee!B
51O
52B
53O
54D
55YMe u/GylfmeisterMr Poopybutthole is that you?hahahahahahahaha wow that's so random.  so crazy.  you see it's funny cause this little blond girl is totally like frank reynolds hahaha omg that is so funny.  omg im crieing.  she is sooo funny.  Eggs!  lmao.  so randomIs this a joke about the menstrual cycleWell that's honestly the most adorable thing I've seen in a long while.
56
57No homo. What a whacky and cooky gal! I guess women *are* funnyI don't get it. I don't know who she is and have no idea what she's talking about. Congratulations! You've made it to the front page.  The first time we saw you on the front page your post was ranked 21 with 82 comments and 2942 up votes.
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59If you'd like to see more metrics about your post and track how it does over time, head over to your post statistics at http://frontpagestats.com/s/702n98.
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61^P.S. ^I'm ^a ^bot, ^PM ^me ^if ^I'm ^causing ^troubleThe eggs are probably to throw at cars that honk at her. 
62
63Source: I'm female and I have considered carrying eggs to retaliate against sexual harassment. How to basic in a nutshellLeaving the house with only one backup eggo?! Some people's nerves.I always think "3 musketeers".
64
65Keys.
66Wallet.
67Phone.
68
69Never leave the house without your 3 musketeers.
70
71How To Basic undercover bringing 2 backup eggs is recipe for some crazy nights..Trying times>leaves the house
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73r/absolutelynotmeirlwow she's pretty. I'm gobsmackedTwitter has a dark mode?I put egg in my iphone wallet and now have nowhere to put backup egg?  Help?This made me laugh really hard out loud. [WAOW](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGg0vQP74dA)Is this referring to a hard boil egg for breakfast or am I not getting something?r/IASIPBT? 
74
75Boy oh boy WOOOOWEEEENjoeyMy name is Debbie, and I like eggsBut what about the back up back up egg[egg](https://www.reddit.com/r/hatchery/)Why not just try WOKEE for the K actually being KeysWowee ClapThat's what I like to do. Carry eggs with me when I go out. They're super handy. [Frank?](https://media.tenor.com/images/ae88352c2376753afecd728a686d74d6/tenor.gif)Me too thanksWhy two eggs when you could have [fifty eggs](https://i.imgur.com/glFdicn.jpg) ?While in English language you say "balls", in Russian it's "яйца" (eggs). So you tell me not to forget them? Interesting.Why not W.O.K.E.E. it fits betterW.O.K.EI looked at this acronym and BEEP BEEP BEEP idiot meter off the charts!Franks Reynolds bloodline right herer/egg_irlwhat is this karma stealing from /r/IASIP?!?r/IASIPThat's so fucking stupid I'm probably actually going to remember it and is it.
76
77Goddamn it.me2thanksHer names Ann, actuallyhttps://hahahaviral.com/rapper-young-thug-brutally-slaps-woman/Also don't forget YES
78
79Y- You
80
81E- Eur Legs
82
83S- Sausage Yes I have two eggs, am male I've laughed far too hard for far too long on this.I use the "triple pat down". keys, wallet, phone.I just leave my door unlocked and take the bus. Relatable DeirdreAre we talking about vibrating eggs?Wallet, check....what's that other thing? Uh...Oh, I have eggs! Better take two, now then...uh...Stupids Toki ams always forgetting backs-ups egg.I laughed way too hard at this, I need more sleep.Wowee go kill urselflMr. Meeseek is leaking.>wallet
84
85Having money?
86
87r/absolutelynotmeirlHow embarassing. Thats a woweeR/iasip r/rickandmorty/r/2me_irl4meirlCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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90*****
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92*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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94*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Someone hold her avocado and sporkshut up u eggThis speaks to me on a spiritual levelegg🥚(🥚)r/whitepeopletwitterWhen u forget your egg (backup)Just in case you run out of space in one egg, you have another on standby. Good thinking.Repost from...at least 4 other subs ;)I dont get this subIt's just a jumping off point!>Wkeys
95
96What are we, speaking Tibetan?Can't forget your backup egg There's such a thing as being "too white"[Pocket Egg](http://i.imgur.com/PLg7WcW.png?)Or Woke 
97Wallet 
98Omlet
99Keys 
100EggI looked up this tweet and then retweeted it because I'm an idiot.Holds up spork Gotta love 'em eggs.Basically how they try and have you remember antibiotics in pharmacy school. You forgot the backup egg's backup egg.Dear sir, do you have time to talk about our Lord and savior egg?Lolol soOOo random Think of DOGE
101
102*Do not
103
104*Offer
105
106*random Girls
107
108*ErectionPKW. Phone keys wallet.One for you and one for a person in trying timesShe calls it a mayonegg.That is actually quite funny.I didn't know Daenerys had a Twitter...He went for his to find he didn't have one!  
109Put him in check, correct, with my egg gun.This is a joke
110
111
112But not to meHow the fuck does this "random xD" bullshit have so many upvotesHer?confusing WAE.   
113     
114
115Worst Acronym Ever[r/iasip](https://www.reddit.com/r/IASIP/?st=J7L1WYC4&sh=722b8534) Can't stress the egg backup enough. Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watchr/eggNow this is the content I subscribed for.r/iawsipMine is wallet keys lighter smokes phone.
116
117Haven't needed lighter or smokes for 8 years, its just so engrained.
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119Still forget my wallet sometimes thoughForgot to check the stoveBasically 80% of acronyms in molecular biologyMy body is Andy Richtermy body is a cheeseburger palaceWords cannot describe my love for Andy Richter.I know this post is going to blow up but i have nothing interesting to comment. He's an innovator. 
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121https://twitter.com/AndyRichter/status/804785432659537920You every try to stop a monkey from shitting? You think it's just gonna let you stop it? That monkeys gonna jump off the walls and fling its shit everywhere no matter what you try to doIsn't the blood of Christ in this temple like 14% alcohol? Doesn't that mean I should be drinking more?"I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center." -Emo PhilipsI was in India just outside of Jaipur, and we went to a temple where monkeys live. It was kind of cool - an area remained flooded all the time, so they had a little pool and they would swim and dive and it was fun to watch...
122
123But I was terrified that one would come up to me or one of my friends. Not because of injury or anything like that. Mainly parasites and whatever else they might carry, being pretty much wild monkeys. 
124
125Oh yeah - and this describes my body to a tee.My body is Angkor Wat, it looks like it used to be beautiful but now it's crumbly and full of big ass trees.[deleted]I love this Swedish-German chubbster"I treat my body like a temple. A temple of doom, but still." - Jim Gaffigan My body is a cathedral.  With a giant dome.My body is a temple. How much do you think I could get for it? Typical Swedish-Germans.My body's a tavern.My body is like neverland ranch. it's no longer in use and you know what I don't think that I want to continue this line of thought.this sub has become the main sub with all this self deprecation Andy Richter is me irl White Castle My body is a temple but it's also a nightclub: I read that in a self-help book and concurred.Mine's more like one with temple prostitutes I love Andy Sphincter!The type of Temple that God loves to visit the most!  :)Beats the time he built a temple out of shrimp... in his stomach.Disrespectful to the monarchy. That'll be 35 years sir. Haha this is just epicI didn't know they had homeless shelters in Thailand...Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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127
128*****
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130*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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132*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*His temple looks to accommodate birds as well judging by the profile pictureSad but true 🤣They also try to fuck or fight other monkeys around them in broad daylight, and steal your muffin if you get too close. Know what?  Andy Richter has still got it.  I'd do him.  Not even gay.  God loves to play with monkeys too :D My body is The Tempe of Doom!I can relate to thisI sometimes rent out my temple to demons for private parties......Life's a party rock your body.Andy richter is the man, him and Conan make an awesome team.Could be the meth vomit rehab centre as wellU/evenlessexistentGet out of my head!!I once needed my bathroom painted so I gave a bonobo chimp a Dulux enema and locked him in there.My body is a temple. That's why I offer it vodka. Vodka cleanses the body and soul. 
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134Come, brothers and sisters. Drink, for the night is bleak. Drink, to live. To love. And to forget why you did that one thing that one time. 
135
136I'm talking about you, Gary. You know what you did. Mine's more like the Temple of DoomMy body is a temple ,but I don't believe in God ,so I distroyed it YesssWhere do I queue to marry this guy?r/meirl is a temple, but it's one of those temples in Reddit where they let monkeys repost all over the place.This is an ancient joke. I think I first saw someone tweet it back in 2011who gifts a literal billionaire goldMan hasn't stepped on the planet,yet thinking ahead to his porn availability.
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138Edit:Man Edits grammarIsn't that how the internet is explained in the Mass Effect codex?
139
140It is. Fuckin nerd http://masseffect.neoseeker.com/wiki/Technology_(Codex)#Communications[removed]The funny thing about this comment is that he said this and then explained it using *even nerdier terms*That AMA was way outta my league and I even watch Rick and Morty[Link to the actual comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/space/comments/76e79c/i_am_elon_musk_ask_me_anything_about_bfr/dodb4xi/)Life goals:
141
142Getting called Nerd by Elon Musk.Google will just run a big fiber optic cable to marsNerdCan someone explain exactly what the guy was talking about Internet on Mars?Think of all the porn we could be sending to mars
143
144Hey /u/Onanixs,
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146
147This is now the top post on reddit. It will be recorded at /r/topofreddit with all the other top posts.I too saw this commentI'll be god damned if mars gets internet before I get something reliableElon [is the real nerd](http://imgur.com/hq5mrgW) though. 
148
149Network engineer here... wtf are you talking about? TCP/ip? Wireless? Wtf?
150Elon answered like 50 questions. One of them was a stupid joke of me. Im a big spaceX fan. Him answering me (on my birthday btw) made my day. 
151
152What a nice start into a new year of my miserable life> There could be a standard format for pages to be Mars renderable, since server-side communication is impractical
153
154$10 that OP could not explain the meaning of that sentenceIs man in alien porno right now? Can man get out, Does man need help?SO, what you are basically describing is a caching proxy server with preloaded content... 
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156AOL reruns... The internet already works like this on earth; the device that does this is called a web cache. What he's describing is hardly an internet.  It's just a web page mirror.   CDN's do that.For those wondering how you'd figure out which pages to queue, there would be two ways of doing it:
157
1581) cache only the top 1000 most visited sites on the internet, and have new ones populate the local storage on demand. You cache data and links that would be relevant to the people on Mars, because you don't need the entirety of Facebook, just the parts that are relevant to them. 
159
1602) cache the top 1000 sites, and use machine learning to figure out what links and sites people visit most on Earth before the Mars cache is updated. People are predictable in their browsing habits, and you can get a lot of successful cache hits this way. The idea is that Mars colonists would still like to know what's happening back home most of the time, and follow social trends and breaking news and so forth.
161
162The only problem is that solution 2 would leave the internet stream constantly saturated, whereas solution 1 could be scheduled to match someone's browsing habits, or they could schedule time on the connection, so you could plan and cache ahead before they sit down to shitpost wherever. 
163
164Then there's option 3:
165
1663) Cache Reddit, the links from the top 1000 posts on /r/all, and whatever subreddits the astronauts are subscribed to.
167
168Option 3 is also a possibility. No need for machine learning, because Reddit's users do a good job of filtering already.I feel like musk hired people to ask him questions in his own ama after the last few terrible ones /r/EnoughMuskSpam *cringe*Thank you u/elonmusk Quantum entanglement. That's how we will transmit information at big distances in the future.Wouldn't it be more practical to move the servers to space somehow, making communication equal? Especially once we start doing more planets. u/gankubas u/skenekQuantum pairing could solve this by the time it would be reasonable to worry about it. Interplanetary real time streaming is not on the top of the list of engineering problems to solve on mars.This could be done with squid proxy.Wouldn’t this be the equivalent of downloading the content on a hard disk and simply taking it to mars with you? Pls explain I was just talking about this a couple days ago. Google has to send a bunch of servers to Mars to mirror the whole internet, and figure out a sync algorithm that prioritizes sites recently visited by colonists.  deleted  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.7295  [^^^What ^^^is ^^^this?](https://pastebin.com/FcrFs94k/25165)ITT: Nerd. we need a deepreddit where people post about their experience in the real reddit.Reroll
169
170Also, there's a [secret hard mode](https://www.theverge.com/2017/3/7/14848286/tinder-select-exclusive-dating-app)!Why do i keep letting myself get hurt like this You just have to be better looking and more interesting. Or be a girl, that's easy mode on Tinder.Pushups.I made a fake girl profile to see if the app was broken and holy shit everytime i swiped right it was a match smfh made feel even uglierDude is playing in the wrong league.Set up the gay version, way easier
171
172you still gotta be good-looking thoThat guy actually has hilarious YouTube videos that are all animated explanations of things. Like a batender from NYC told a friend of mine, "Just keep swiping right, it's only a numbers game."Does the new update make it so I can get matches?Pretty sure it's called GrindrGenerally a lower difficulty setting produces undesirable visual degradation. My roommate read an article somewhere that said that Tinder/Bumble/any other similar app...is the downfall of the average looking male. Since you don't have to be in the same place as a girl to meet her, their chances have gone down dramatically. Basically...The most attractive guys are fucking the most attractive women...AND the average looking women. Leaving none for the average guys. And a girls inbox has like 20 dicks in it for everyone one that a guys has. So...when your start talking to them...it may be a good idea to ask for their actual phone numbers ASAP, because if they log back on to look at your message...best believe they're gonna start swiping for a few minutes as well. I know this is a venting fest, but I have some tips from the female perspective.
173
174Okay, imagine a nearly homologous sea of people, all biding for your attention. You have zero info on them other then a single brief snap-shot of their life they show you. Pick a handful to spend time with. 
175
176Who would you pick? I bet there is something unique about them, right?
177
178Thats the trick to dating apps. Be unique. Be honest, but find something about yourself that stands out and lures people in.  Do you have a weird (and cool) hobby? Do you make stuff? Do you like to travel, if so, where have you been? 
179
180Have no unique value to give? GO MAKE SOME!! Seriously, invest in yourself. Pick up a craft or hobby, go on a hike next weekend some place cool looking (use Google images to find good selfie backdrops in your area). Do something, that makes your life experience different than "I like playing on the internet and video games, and alterative music" really? Just like everyone else?
181
182Show a girl you can give her a unique perspective in the world that no one else can give her. 
183
184Also- you *really* don't have to be naturally handsome, but at least dress well for your style (no cargo shorts and t-shirts.. save that for after you've been dating a while! Visit /r/mensfashion), get a good haircut (not just a super cut, go to a stylist), and take care of your skin (clean and moisturize folks! Go see /r/skincareaddiction).  Sometimes being attractive just means cleaning up nicely.
185
186Good luck out there guys! Swipe on fat chicksHave a vagina and be under 200lbs. I got about 40 matches on tinder in a month, but nothing ever came out of it. Girls are way too flaky on it. A lot of them are on there to chat, or see who they can match up with to see if they're attractive. A lot simply don't respond. 
187
188You have way better luck irl. Wait, I think I forgot where I am.You become a girlI've used tinder for 4 years. Never got a date. Met a girl only once but just as friends and she faked a phone call and I never heard from her again whewLie.More like how do you lower the difficulty settings on life/r/incels leaking all over this thread...For the people that don't know his videos: [go check it out](https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw), they are pretty goodIf you're a dude, and you're not pretty attractive, then you better have a lot of money. If you're a girl, just soak up the attention and take your pick.r/outsideBruh im weak 😂😂😂🔥💯💯🔥Increase the max age. You need to increase your charisma a few points, maybe even some luck. That or don't be unattractive.Plastic surgery Turn on "seeking men"Sure, got to settings -> aesthetic perception -> Click on 'Standards' drop down box -> Select 'Low' -> Save.I mean it's easier if you're a girl, but everyone's still a fuckin retard/u/flasharcher remember nametag girl?Is it just me that isn't bummed out by Tinder because it's mostly filled with fake girl profiles and porn spam bots?Just play Chad.Better yourself.Diet and exercise Lose weightBy increasing the age range to the max settingCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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191*****
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193*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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195*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Lower your standardsYour attraction level and the difficulty level have an inverse relationship. If you want to lower the difficulty, you have to level up your attraction. Get to grinding, old sport.I love Casually Explained. The guy's whole channel is a meirl.Swipe right on people who aren't related to you.I made a Tinder two days ago on a whim. I'm fairly attractive and healthy and my bio mentions how I ate 52 mcnuggets without dying. No matches so far.  
196  
197Kill me :') Y'all should check out Casually Explained's Youtube channel, it's excellent TFW you get banned from tinder because you work in a grocery store and some women you matched that know you work there decided to report you for "makes me feel uncomfortable" knowing that after just a few reports you get autobanned.I love casually explained!
198
199He should be better known his videos are great.This app fuels the female egotistical and narcissistic nature by giving them the selfie culture they crave and a smorgasbord of cock to choose from. This in turn transforms most of these girls into picky bitches with shitty attitudes, who believe they are "special snowflakes". Most females on tinder have nothing to offer but their depreciating looks and their worn out disease ridden vaginas
200
201[Cont.](https://de.reddit.com/r/Incels/comments/60l5w5/no_woman_has_to_endure_the_agony_of_being_alone/)
202
203^^^^^Downvoting_this_won't_make_it_untrue_Try_to_imagine_how_life_is_as_a_less_than_average_attractive_male_on_tinder_research_ask_unattractive_men_on_tinder_don't_just_make_everything_out_to_be_irrational_misogony_Step 1. be attractive
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205Step 2. don't be unattractiveI just discovered Tinder was auto-up-loading random images from Facebook! I looked at my profile to find, to my horror, pictures of me and my wife snuggling! By lyingInstalling tinder? absolutelynotmeirlPost this on /r/outsideIt defaults to the easiest mode, budYeah just lower your standardsTinder has worked well for me, even too well. I met my SO of 8months on there!
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207Honestly just get straight to the point of what you want don't waste your time or theirs. Gif convos are fun too.Six pack"Whoring was never so easy". EZ, just reroll hotter, taller, richer.r/outsideUnlock a new skin. Replace your profile picture with a snapshot of your bank statements that have been photoshoped with two extra zeros on the end of your total funds.Try changing the age limit from 18-25 to 30+. This should be an easier difficulty. However, the 'rewards' are horrible. There ya go.r/outsideChoose a different game called outside in real life with your phone in your pocket. Tinder gives all the leverage to the woman, go outside and its equal.   
208You will be quite surprised how many good looking people are open go out without some space-age pickup lines, but just with normal conversation. Distance <.001m ; Age ; <18 ;) solved this puzzle "Hello, this is Netflix. You're greenlit"Wow thats a pretty good idea.“Hey Netflix I’ve got this idea for a sho-“
209“Yes we’ll take it!”Why is it not called "Jetpacula"?If you cast Adam Sandler as Jetpacula, you've got yourself a Netflix movie.Dracula can turn into a bat.Anyone got a release date?It’s over, Dracula. I have the the high ground!Hello, this is Netflix, you're greenlit. How can we help today?This is easily *Kung Fury*-levels of stupid-awesome. I’d watch the fuck out of it!Jetpacula...or he could turn into a bat.
210Because he's a vampire. 
211They do that. 
212Now Jetpack Frankenstein, or Jetpack Mummy, THOSE are GOLD.Pixelated Boat is the bestFreeze frame
213
214Cue "Higher" by Sly and the Family Stone.jetpackula aka jackulaBold and brash? More like Belongs in the trash!Sounds like some Action Bronson lyrics. 
215
216"Fly'n high all night like I was jetpack Dracula.
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218Traded in the Range Rover for a bran' new Acura"
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220
221I HOPE IT DASANT SACCCKDracula rises up using Jetpack
222
223Dracula: Hello there. [another interpretation](http://drmcninja.com/comics/2008-07-1111p48.gif)Can’t he just turn into a bat?This is shopped right, Netflix didn't actually respond to Jetpack Dracula?Call of Dracula - Infinite WarfareJet Set Radio Dracula: in a world where rival supernaturals roam the dark alleys looking for the best places to skate, one skater -Count- forms a Crew called Sanguine to beat the werewolf crew Morph, the Undine crew in Atlantis, and the zombies crew Rot.
224
225Side Characters:
226Claw, the leader of Morph
227Lazeretta, quiet solo rider of the Undine.
228Brains, the empty headed leader.
229Alucard, former Sanguine member gone rogue, starting the evil Coven Crew.
230
231The pirate radio host Nocturne on thurntables, this is a show you don't wanna miss!
232Netflix should totally make user submitted shorts. The small story entertainment would be awesome.Vampires can already fly. How about a Jet Pack Werewolf! We will call it Airwolf! 
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234Yes I know Airwolf was an 80’s TV show! This seems like a script for one of those short films that would play during the Halloween parties in Old Club Penguin. Like, I can actually see itGotta start somewhere!I give it one season then Netflix will inexplicably cancel itJetpackulaRob Schrab already wrote this script for a tv pitch http://austinist.com/2013/06/14/at_the_start_of_the.php and the lines were directly ripped from this guy's comic http://nellucnhoj.com/image/166607410892https://youtu.be/-iy32uLW9ccAnd that Netflix? Albert Einstein.JETPACKULA. Jetpack Dracula is now my favourite thing.Knowing reddit, I thought I would have seen a r/prequelmemes leak in the commentsI'd watch this*CHARACTER 1/CHARACTER 2 both stare mouth agape, terrified, then slowly turn to each other*
235
236BOTH: Ooohhhh SSSSHHHHIIIIIIIIIII---
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238*CUE TITLE CARD*Alucard in Jetpack DracIs this gonna be one of the 30 animes Netflix is creating?
239This deserves a follow up on r/writingpromptsNo no no the title is all wrong it should be jetpackulaJetpackulaI don't often laugh out loud at stuff like this, but I just did. Kudos.jetpackulasounds like some Garth Marenghi would come up withWhy has nobody come up with the idea to call it "Jetpacula"? Seriously that'd be hilarious. Somebody should mention it in this thread.WHY is this jetpack Dracula and not Jetpacula!?I hope it doesn't suck!This is a new level of stupid.Someone already turned it into a comic https://www.facebook.com/nellucnhoj/photos/a.624643234235672.1073741830.624131664286829/1672534992779819/?type=3&theaterOscar worthy. I think a better title might be "the rise of dracula"The new sharknado, “Netflix. You’re green lit”Send it to Rockstar games, they got history with jetpacksIt’s over character 1 and 2 
240I have the low ground Hey, that's pretty good Is this the one the guy who made Shaun of the dead wrote?This is the funniest thing I’ve seen all week. Holy shit I can’t stop laughing lol Greenlit instantlyThat twitter account is great. Very similar to KenM you cut out the best part of that tweet[Why not a Dragon with jetpack?](http://store.steampowered.com/app/243950/Divinity_Dragon_Commander/)Hey, that's pretty good."It's fresh. Bold. Risky, but I like it. Heres $10m."[Here is the original source](http://78.media.tumblr.com/3e87d5943540b82c5db5785bb2b378e9/tumblr_oy0ulfq5z21sedldmo1_1280.jpg) What will really set it apart is when they show the full penetration and there will be plenty of it. There will also be a crime fighting nose that can smell crime before it happens but can’t seem to smell Dracula.Bold and brash? Still no match for Dr. Acula.Hahaha I may have laughed a tad too hard at this! It would fit perfectly with some of the other horror movies on Netflix! Lol Zoombies and Zombeavers are two gems that I was recently fortunate enough to experience. HahahaLet's be clear: Netflix doesn't have me, and that's their loss, but they could have Jetpack Dracula, and thatd be a win win for everyone.toohigh.jpgCall it “dracupack”Except Dracula can already fly. I think this is also the person who invented "milkshake duck"Call James Dean he should be available.I knew it was coming and still spit my coffee out.i actually have a great movie idea...but i'm not gonna share it because you will try to steal it heheWhat about sharks with jetpacks? Two characters are in California. 
241“I hope the storm won’t bring sharks like the last time”. “ no, we’re too high up etc. etc. If Haters Back Off can get on netflix, I don't see why this can't either.Honestly wouldn't be surprised. They've greenlit a lot of bullshit recently. Well you're sitting on a gold mine, Trebek!Looking forward to the Submarine Frankenstein crossover So Dracula will have the high ground? A surprise to be sure but a welcome one. Tbh that's honestly something I could see on Netflix.Dracula can turn into a bat. He wouldn't need a jetpack to reach you.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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246*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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248*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Chris Hastings already took far riskier moves re Dracula altitude https://m.imgur.com/6YdCxVgBut he can fly[deleted]But Dracula can just become a bat 🦇.Jetpacula?NHOJ already did storyboards! http://nellucnhoj.com/post/166607410892/jetpack-dracula-written-by-the-greatNow on supernaturalI knew that was Pixelated Boat before I even read the name. His style is amazing.My co-worker is going as Jetpack Dracula for Halloween: https://twitter.com/daljo628/status/924253761165561856The sequels:
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250https://twitter.com/pixelatedboat/status/919156434448740353
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252https://twitter.com/pixelatedboat/status/919335487235538944Make sure to hire a bunch of non-normies to make it./r/HailCorporateSad it has nothing to do with Spring Heeled Jack. Spring Heeled Jackula was a short quest line in Oblivion thieves guild that I lovedAbsurd as it is, I could see some interesting development.
253
254How did he get the jetpack?  Dracula infiltrating a secret military base could be an entire story arc.
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256How does he learn to cope with a technology that is 500 years newer than him?
257
258Does this impact the traditional "turn into a cloud of bats" strategy?
259
260What if he does some Icarus-style thing where he rises so high that the sun is once again visible over the horizon?Jetpacula Chapter 3- WHAT UP BIATCH ??I wonder if they are hiring for the main roleBetter than Breaking BadI Want two tickets in the balcony for the premiere showingThose characters would love /r/prematurecelebrationCouldn’t he just turn into a bat? * holds up spork *This is even better than J.D.'s Dr. Acula script.Netflix is desperateSecret Adventures of Jules Verne, episode 3: Rockets of the DeadIts over Dracula, I have the high groundDracula can turn into a bat. Why does he need a jetpack?Tommy Wiseau:  ‘What If Johnny was a vampire?’I'd watch itThis reminds me of those scripts kids write for Jimmy Fallon’s “Kid Theater” bits. Netflix: Let's remove shows people like, raise the price and make Jetpack Dracula.Jetpack Dracula vs Hangglider Van Helsing. WHO'S DICK DO I HAVE TO SUCK TO GET THIS MADE???[Simpsons (kind of) did it.](https://youtu.be/r6IqosZyU_w) This is Rob Schrab’s joke. Jetpack-ula.
261I actually thought the guy was serious before I read the script...You guys remember that awful song Coconut Dracula? WTF was that all about?Cant Dracula can turn into a bat?seeing Left Twitter on me irl truly is glorious/r/netflixpitchStill a better love story than twilight.
262
263Is that still a thing?  Can I have upvote?Hey, whatever anyone is going through, I want you to know, I believe in you and I hope you succeed!😄 Hope you have a nice day/night!This is so absurdly stupid i can’t stop laughingGet Christopher Hastings to do the screenplay and I will watch it in a heartbeat.Look. They made Sharknado. Then they made Sharknado 2. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Why they even bother with the greenlight process is ridiculous. Just greenlight everything.I'll be disappointed if their next April Fool's Day doesn't involve this.Definitely better than Death Note 🤐But vampires can turn into bats. Knowing netflix, they would definitely do itYou’d think the dude that could turn into a bat would be able to fly right? Right?If it was an animated series and humour like bobs burgers, rick and morty, bojack horseman etc that'd be pretty damn good.Still better than Mindhunter.why am I laughing so muchThis is awesome. Not sure how it fits "me irl' thoughBad postI sure do hope someone isn't stealing the others idea
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265https://www.instagram.com/p/BaedP-vh6-f/This hits way too close to come... It's even worse when it's a science test and people whip out a calculator and you have no idea what you need to calculate 😭When the answers was easy to get but you dont believe it so you redo everything again
266I once had a geography class with a teacher who would move our desks to the edge of the room along the wall for tests so we wouldn't cheat off our neighbor. This one test we had was just a blank map of a region of the world and the goal was to fill it country names, something I was never really great at especially when it came to very small countries. 
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268About ten minutes into the test I looked up and see half the room taking weird glances at me. Me being me, I thought I was doing something strange without knowing so I put my head back down. 
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270Another ten minutes later I looked up again and now most of the class is taking these weird glances at me. It was like they could read on my face the panic that I was going to fail this test. 
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272About an entire twenty minutes before the test ended my classmates started getting up to turn their tests in. I was only halfway done. Within another ten minutes my entire class was done besides me. I scrambled to get it done just before the bell and turned it in knowing full well that I did terrible.
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274As I was packing my bag up to leave, I looked up at the wall behind where I was sitting. That's when I realized. The teacher hadn't rolled up the huge pull down world map hanging from the whiteboard. I was sitting in front of every answer I needed to ace that test and was the only one in the class who hadn't realized it.Use the ruler to underline some words and measure the distance from one question to another, so you don’t feel left out. It’ll also give you a rough estimate of the score you’ll receive. https://xkcd.com/564/absolutely me_irl, my stomach dropped reading this and remembering that type of shit, I do not miss school at all.it's like when you are asked to calculate an angle, the options are:
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276a) 45°
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278b) 90°
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280c) 180°
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282d) 270°
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284and after several calculations your answer is that North Korea would be better ruled by a trisomic Koala.N A N IAnd then you ace* the test but you still somehow feel retarded. Like deep down you feel like you only did well out of luck, no matter how sure you were of your answers at the time.Fuck.When the teacher hands out a 10 problem quiz and everyone starts turning it in but you're still on problem 2.*frantic looking intensifies*Or when you get finished suspiciously fast and start second guessing every life choice you ever made that led you to this point.
285
286Good times. At that point you even question if you are even in the right exam room.I once didn't start a test for 15 minutes because I missed the directions to go on the schools website and find it. Yet somehow I finished before everyone else. I'm not even a wonder student, If I had to grade myself I'm either average or slightly below average.when i see ppl doing that, i just laugh. You go on draw your nice little cube, but sketch is what is needed. Oh look i'm now finished and u are still drawing the same cube >:DWent through something like this except worse. One time in college I skipped a class for two weeks (4 lectures total). The next week I went to class expecting to learn in lecture but when I stepped in everyone had their scantrons and calculators out.... turns out the midterm wasn't on the day I intially thought it was. Totally my fault for being a lazy ass though. normal ppl problems amirite bois? haha didn't have those since my life fell apart somewhere in 2013 Exactly how I felt during the entirety of my AP Calc test in High School... for 4 hours straightTrueWhen you finish you test first and 10 minutes later realize no one else is done and you wonder what you didn’t doliterally todays math exam :(In high school they gave me a metal ruler during a test so I used it to carve my entire name into the desk and never actually found a use for it in the test.Measuring and drawing straight linesLike asking for graph paper in a Spanish exam. We'd do it to troll in school. Got the results back for a physics test today.
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2881 mark.
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290Fuck.Bring on the anxiety! When you finish an hour early and it doesn't seem right.Ugh, this is real life. Ensue all kinds of panic attacks. And that's the moment I realized, I f*cked up... xDDamnWell, that's finally our moment to shine: Questions about the test are part of what we are there for.
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292My high school history.This brings back memories That's when you know you need to use geometric integration.This speaks loudly to my math disability.They are obviously all just messing with you. Where were you guys in my classes. It was always me fucking up not knowing what shit is, I coulda used some company.I’ve had this happen before but it turned out you didn’t even need the ruler. Yet almost everyone else was using one anyway. Pretty sure I got an A on the test still...Bahahaha, those suckers don't know you shouldn't measure the figures, but calculate./r/teenagers5318007+1Relevant xkcd. https://xkcd.com/564/Then you realize you're in the stupid pool.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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295*****
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297*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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299*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*sometimes during the tests the students are simply doing it wrong/hard/easy way.  
300
301like when you read the question, enough measurements are already given to where geometric equations will do the work of measuring the rest of it, but some students dont like fussing with equations and vice versa  Even worse is when you finish the test and look around, and everyone is still struggling with it...  and the professor is looking at you like "lol, no."     Then you realize there were questions on the back of each page....  15 minutes left.  This happened twice to some classmates of mine in various courses. 
302
303Physics and Chem. In Physics, when studying magnetism, there was one thing that was called something like the "left hand rule" where you could use your left hand to figure out something to do with magnetic field directions. 
304
305Similarly, in Chem, with organic compounds, it was how everyone determined how to draw/represent the compound, and to test chirality. 
306
307Some students are the ones who do well without going to class, and only studying the book. They expressed huge confusion each time, wondering if there was something grossly wrong with how they understood the material. 
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309Motherfuckers got A's anyway. Does anyone want to talk about the ruler.If they all had clear rulers it was a way of cheatingThis is why I stay away from math in general, the stress is too much for me to handle. :(My story I'm a grown man. 
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311This is triggering repressed flashbacks.
312
313I need to sit down. I would leave notes on my tests if something like this happened if I liked the teacher. I'm sure they would laugh when grading it and they would try and help me out later on if I clearly missed something. This was me in engineering where we had to use interpolation from tables for steam, gas, liquid, etc... That's when you get to the back of the test and it says you failed because you didn't pull out a ruler to show that you read over it  before beginning. When the teacher reminds you 5 minute before the end that the test has two pages, and you feel like the only one who didn't check the back of the page. :/I used to use the right hand rule during tests to mess with people.It's my first time on this sub and I think every single person here is a clone of meProbably drawing a tangent line.I'll never forget the feeling of how stupid AP tests made me feel in high school. On the AP calc test, I straight up didn't know how to do anything on Part 2 of the test where you had to show work.  Made eye contact with a friend who also had no idea what he was doing and almost laughed my ass off in the middle of the test.  Sat there for an hour until the minimum required time had passed so I could leave. my attention span is pretty weak so when everyone starts doing something in sync i panic and try to mimic as i’m figuring out what’s happening. I got my bachelors in education this way. This is why youngsters develop anxiety. We don't need no education.[related](https://youtu.be/9yUZTTLpDtk) Remember those perforated card stock rulers that came with the standard testingOnce I had an Econ midterm where people around me were all using rulers, and I could not for the life of me understand why. Later on I realized they were using the ruler to draw the axes of their supply and demand graphs. Bunch of perfectionists Language classes where the instructions to the test are written in the FUCKING LANGUAGE YOUR TRYING TO LEARN.you gotta be pretty dumb to not figure out where to use a rulerObviously it's for sticking it up my ass hole, because I'm clearly about to get fuck.r/bonehurtingjuice I went through the whole of high school never using a ruler[He updated](https://twitter.com/MeLlamoTrevor/status/916843519813156864)His son is 37Some clown at the supermarket put his hand horizontally in the air and said "On the roof" then he told me "you're a goof"
314
315Fuck clowns. I always follow up a too slow with another round where I pretend to try to pull my hand back but he gets it anyway then I go "daddy is too slow!"Up high,
316On the side,
317On the other side, 
318Down low....too slow!...and youre adopted.This guys twitter is gold. And hes the pitcher for the Pirates. What a life.Wow, this guys shitposting on Twitter is fantastic.Just realized that’s a high five and not a prayer emoji. Good to know we’ve all been high fiving about tragedies.wait, is the 🙏 emoji supposed to be high fives? Oh look! The Pirates and depression are combining! The two most prominent things in my life.Welcome to the true man's worldI'd pay a month's salary to see Trevor Williams punch Trevor Bauer in the jawI'm sure this will come up in therapy years down the road.What? You have to transition to a down low for a too slow fucking high five noobI trusted my dad to bring milk every Sunday morning for breakfast. He's still trying to get one since 2004.Ah the sims3 methodMad ladA fun variation on this with young kids is to switch up the order after a few tries and do "on the side" last. Then you put your hand on the side of your face. Then when you pull it away you get to see the look on their face when they accidentally slap you in the face. Obviously if you think it would really hurt don't do it. High five.
319Up high.
320Down low.
321Too slow!I did this, both hilarious (for me) and emotionally traumatic for my son. Lesson learned son, lesson learned!Savage as fuck The long conHas to learn sometime Should have turkey'd himWhy did you use the praying hands emoji instead of the high five hands emoji?I hit my daughter with an "up high, down low, in the middle-too slow" all the time. She thinks it's fucking hilarious. My husband taught our 4 year old son this a couple months ago and he loves it. Every time we high five him he tries to get you with it. I can't upvote enough timesThis seems like something Sips_ would doyour business operated near too many gangs and pimpms, u must die nowCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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324*****
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326*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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328*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*noone's too young to be disappointed.
329That's a curveball.Would have been funnier if you did an additional year of "down low". You dont go from "high five" to "too slow."Betray your kids trust. Brilliant! Wcgw? BOZOEnjoy cancer while I make my dad bod BRONZED AND BEAUTIFULDidn't that guy play hockey at Harvard??Barstool meets Me_irl? 
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331A surprise to be sure /r/skincareaddictionBut the sun is a deadly lazer!My friend called me a pussy for wearing sunscreen on vacation in Turkey. He never wore any back home in the freakin alps. He fell asleep in like 115 degree weather and had blisters about 3 inches tall all over his back. Humans v The SunI used to say 'suncream' but now I say 'sunscreen' even though I still feel like it's more of a cream than a screen. idk I've heard a trillion lions could beat the sunThe first person to climb El Capitan in Yosemite (Warren Harding, not the President), wrote:
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333>I suppose this article could be titled "The Conquest of El Capitan". However, as I hammered in the last bolt and staggered over the rim, it was not at all clear to me who was conqueror and who was conquered: I do recall that El Cap seemed to be in much better condition than I was.Viva![deleted]Guy clearly must not know pasty people.  2 hours in the sun without and I am going t be a damn lobster.  I'm bald and ghostly I *have* to put on sunscreen. I've been training nude in the summer heat to battle THE SUN ITSELF!So I just came back from the beach and I can tell you sunscreen is pretty dope. 
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335I was out for 45 minutes and got obliterated. Now me, I'm thinking I'll be good. No worries. No... It's been a few years since I got out in the sun like this. It's a week later and I still can't put my arms above my shoulders. My skin feels like scales between the sores and peeling skin. But before that I kept waking up in the middle of the night to my skin screaming at me. It sucked.
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337Wear sunscreen... Only pussies and idiots don'tThe sun does not respect a foolBozo[Him right now](http://i.imgur.com/VpwFayt.png)
338I don't know man I bench like 250.Sunscreen is a globalist trap and turns your frog gay.Same goes for earplugs at shows. People shouldn't shame other people for taking care of themselves![deleted]It's like the spongebob episode. How tough are ya? I'm so tough I didn't wear sunscreen and didn't even get a sunburn. Pffft, UV rays. I tan in Gamma rays.Who is this guy? My name is Riggs in real life, is his first name Riggs?[deleted]He's so quick he can dodge light, you pussy.Reminds me of bill burrs by about how only fags use an umbrella when it rains. /r/AsianBeauty 😹The sun ages you and gives you cancer. Why does anybody even tan?Watch out the fucking Sun, we've got a tough human.He's probably one of the geniuses who chooses to believe that sunscreen is what's causing skin cancer. Oh well, he probably won't have as much to say from the hospital bed.As someone diagnosed with melanoma fuck that guy. I'm putting that shit on constantly.Barstool 👉🏽BozoI never put sun screen on. Not because I'm tougher than the sun, it's more that I'm weak enough to not want to deal with the minor inconvenience that is protecting my pasty skin from cancer.nah I don't wanna get buzzfeedSkin cancer is so manly I know a guy that's too tough for sunscreen. He's a tomato looking motherfucker.[NOTICE](https://imgur.com/a/T8z1R) How is this you irl, OP? People make fun of you for wearing sunscreen? Or you make fun of people for wearing sunscreen?
339
340Or are you another shitposter who has made this sub just another funny pic dump?"Fuck the sun, try and give me cancer!"
341- guy with melanoma *Hulk Hogan voice* You sayin' I'm not tougher than the sun?! Bro, I'll fight you! I'll fight the sun! I'll fight myself!darker skin people dont usually put on sun screenEnjoy your melanomaMelanoma is a motherfucker.  Wear sunscreen people.I'd rather be a pussy than riddled with skin cancerThe fuck he think he is? Escanor?Wot a fuckin pussy amiright eh ehI am tougher than the ☀️ See.... I HAVE to have sunscreen. I only come in two colors. Whiteboard white and lobster red. Imagine thinking girls like you... girls? liking you?Just tryna get a little cancer, Stan.Not to bright of an idea if you ask me...God I'm pale as a ghost, I'll take being called a pussy if I do not get skin cancer This time, the joke is in the post.Is anyone down for a little LRT? I agreed with this so much before I even realized it was me irlWowWell, I used to get bullied at school for using sunscreen when it's +35°C_Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97_
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343_Wear sunscreen_Skin cancer is no joke. Put on sun screen.What a Nutter!
344As my friend once said, 'Imagine how much it hurts when you look at the sun, well our skin is staring at the sun all the time'
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347Also, screw sunscreen I used to think I was tougher than the sunCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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352*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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354*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Me Coppertone thanks Someone clearly doesn't experience Hell's Itch. I have been ridiculed for using sun screen by people who look like they're made of leather because they've worked outside for half their life.Screw that idiot. I'm 50 and look maybe 40, because I wear sunscreen every frigin day...well at least every day on my face. Dude will be having skin cancer and look like shit  in a decade.Fuck you Riggs. Liberal douchebag.ErRrRrRr can'tfavoritetweetonreddit.
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356Pussy$50 says this image is gonna have JPEG artefacts and a lower resolution in a week’s time.Fragile masculinitySome guy called me a pussy at a stoplight. I was wearing a helmet while riding my motorcycle.You just don't understand nothing about that scam called sunscreen. Everyone knows space ain't real. Sounds like white people problems.Toxic r/EstheticsI was just told today, in a mildly condescending way by my nurse, that my legs were pretty white.  I sunscreen often because I'm quite white.  
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358She should have great alabaster skin, but she tans and has bleach blonde hair that's getting quite damaged and all the rest.  I think it's great that someone's natural more healthy state is the antithesis of beauty to so many people.  I think I'll stay content with my God-given so I don't have to play pretend everyday of my life.  Don't tell that to the Germans, they took on the whole worldAre you sure he said that because of the sunscreen?  Come on now.Naw the sun killed lots of my people's.Funny tweet = this is me xdddPlease stop posting thisShut up pussy sunscreen causes infertilityTell that fool he can suck your cancer free @#$%!But that's precisely what Anthropogenic Global Warming theory is. And Reddit loves that nonsense. Are straight white men okay right now Black skin can withstand the though sun./r/thatHappened 
359o my god i knew i recognized that guy from somewhereI am a garbage creature in my apartment. It's a well kept secret to everyone I know.They really look a lot alike. What's the name of that actor?OG meme from MohAki1 dump on Imgur, have to give credit where it's due, glad you're all enjoying!Way way too close to home'Ello guvnah. This is probably the best post I've ever seen on this sub. > having your own place
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361/r/absolutelynotmeirlI'm the opposite. I'm 33 and moved back in with my mom because of what a huge success I've become, and I'm a way bigger slob here because my mom is overbearing and will nag if I do things my own way. But when I had an apartment I cleaned the whole thing every Sunday, always had my laundry clean and organized, and had the fridge and pantry stocked, kept a garden, and cooked at home all the time. The Pope vs. The Pope after he meets Charlie, Mac, Dee, Dennis and Frank. Is that Governor Swann?Which one's Woodhouse?Buy a robot vacuum.  Game changer. I hadn't had a hair cut in two years until today, since I'm finally back at my parents house. It's really the opposite for me :/ Ok sorry but what movie?? It's killing me Is that the same guy*When your roommates lived with their parents vs. when you moved in with themI laughed way too hard at this.As someone who is moving back within their mothers in about 2 months, I can confirm this is how I feel.Isn't that Elizabeth Swann's dadGuy looks like a mix of the Pope and Christopher LloydHoly shit they look alike. The pope on the right looks rather more gaunt but jesus.My god, it's not just me. Is that actually the pope? If so, why is he so dirty?🔥🔥🔥Parlay!I was talking to someone last week about how similar they look, glad I'm not the only one that noticed.  Omg I love this actor! What role is he playing on the left though?? Loved him in game of thrones !!
362Still smilin Shame. Is the one on the right Jonathan Pryce?
363
364Edit: Should've looked at the comments. I'm guessing that wasn't an Infiniti commercial.not in this town THAT'S WHY the guy in GoT always looked so familiar. Oh jeeze thank youAs a dedicated Buddhist I find this very offensive!Filfthy animalYou could just clean up and not make a mess...
365
366It's really not that difficult.It's the opposite for me.  My parents were borderline horders who lived in filth.  My apartment is spotless.  
367  I pretend to be perfect and have everything together. This is me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n4y-4ZcBCQ&t=17sNot me too thanks. My parent's house is a fucking disaster zone at this point, but my apartment is so much more clean and orderly. I like it that way.How is this not the same personIsnt woodhouse dead[deleted]First thing I've genuinely laughed at on Reddit in agesRickety Cricket?FINALLY! I used to tell people all the time that I thought this dude looks like the Pope and everyone would just look at me like I'm crazy.When I off myself I want to go to heaven not hell....making me laugh n shitexactly wrong i just had to spend a week at my moms and my soul started deteriorating so rapidly i feared for my life I see myself in the pic..I was wondering why this mother fucker looked so familiar when he first showed up!this is like that episode of archer where they have to replace woodhouse with the pope and they look identical. Bout to be featured on ifunny in 3... 2... 1...its the opposite for meMassive meme potentialAs someone that recently moved into an apartment by himself without any help from his family, this is damn accurate. !Remindme 7 daysThe Gang Meets The Pope The second picture still has clothes on, and even then, those clothes aren't stained.a sparrows gotta sparrow Holy shit dude, that just blew my mind. The high sparrow looks almost exactly like the Pope. Damn.Me afOh shit! this going be me by the end of summer This hits way too close to home.This seems backwards. Mais c'est carrément ça ! Someone make a rickety cricket comparison with this titleVideos in this thread: [Watch Playlist &#9654;](http://subtletv.com/_r6bz0oi?feature=playlist)
368
369VIDEO|COMMENT
370-|-
371[still a piece of garbage](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZUcpVmEHuk)|[+60](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6bz0oi/_/dhqy96x?context=10#dhqy96x) - Oh hi, thanks for checking in, I'm still a piece of garbage.
372[gonna clean my room](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8WPyC48uX8)|[+11](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6bz0oi/_/dhr2equ?context=10#dhr2equ) - I'm gonna clean my room...
373[The Face of Mental Illness](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n4y-4ZcBCQ&t=17s)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6bz0oi/_/dhr3dje?context=10#dhr3dje) - I pretend to be perfect and have everything together. This is me.
374[Garbage Day! (high quality)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7gIpuIVE3k)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6bz0oi/_/dhrbicj?context=10#dhrbicj) - (Garbage day?! Mwahahahaha) [  ]
375I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch. I'll keep this updated as long as I can.
376***
377[Play All](http://subtletv.com/_r6bz0oi?feature=playlist&ftrlnk=1) | [Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/SubtleTV/wiki/mentioned_videos) | Get me on [Chrome](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/mentioned-videos-for-redd/fiimkmdalmgffhibfdjnhljpnigcmohf) / [Firefox](https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/mentioned-videos-for-reddit)Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
378&nbsp;
379
380*****
381
382*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
383
384*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Ha. When you live at all. Haha.Pretty much me now im single and living aloneMade my day, thanks! :DHoly shit, I always thought that actor looked familiar.Pope is like when seeing episode of game of thrones. 
385
386"When I played in that series. Can't remember that series."Then you when you finally get your shit together as a grown up...
387
388http://m.blog.hu/su/supernaturalmovies/image/taboo5.jpgThe similarity is uncannyAt least you're high sparrow now.Also a viable caption:
389How your parents lived before having children vs. how your parents lived after having childrenWoodhouse?/r/titlegore OP is a faggotPedo to nuts in one day.Fuck /u/spez and all reddit SJW traitor cucks. MAGA.4. Believe me
390
3915. It's gonna be greatSounds like Trump should try his hand at writing math papers
392
393"it's easy to see that..."
394
395"a known solution is..."
396
397"it can be shown that..."this is relatable
398
399source: I'm donald trumpChrist, 24 thousand upirls.**WRONG**How is this me irl"I've heard"
400
401"People have been saying"
402
403"I read online"
404
405Most recently, "A 16 year old twitter user states that"4 . Believe MeThe photoshop of the head is fairly well done. They couldn't at least scale it correctly to the rest of the body?
406
407I mean me too thanks.Would also accept
408
409 
410
411People, Some, et.al "Some people are            saying" 2016. <http:www.breitbart.com. >. And frankly, me too thanksThis is the definition of populism, yet a lot of people fail to recognize him as an extreme populist.I wish this was me_irl, unfortunately, not the case!
412
413Spent hours and hours on a bibliography for a literature review last week, ended up amusing myself with people's name abbreviations - DJ Burns was my favourite, 'bout to drop the most fire journal article of all time. The lowercase k on 2. really bothers me more than it should.He speaks like someone who wants to make a point, but he doesn't really know anything about it but he's super confident in his knowledge anyway.r/trumpirl Refuting ~~facts~~ arguments:
414
4151. Wrong
416
4172. Wrong
418
4193. ^*sniff*
42029k upvotes in 11 hours?? what's going on the top comment is only sitting at 1500
421
422edit: nvm saw the admin postWhy are his hands so big?[I say this every night, every day, every afternoon and it's so true. Jeb is a mess.](https://youtu.be/w-McIdVuY88?t=1m54s)I still can't believe this man is going to be president...[removed]for the record I voted for trump but these reports are salty af
423
424http://i.imgur.com/KcSUwN4.png[deleted]Moltar know itSources Cited:
425
4261. Someone told meYO HOMIES KNOW IT
427
428EVERYBODY FUCKIN KNOW IT
429
430now this dick aint freeI need that Brazilian, wavy, twenty eight inch, you playin'
431I shouldn't be fuckin' with you anyway
432I need a baller-ass, boss-ass nigga
433You'se a off brand-ass nigga, everybody know it
434Your homies know it, everybody fuckin' knowThis is why Trump university failed.
435
436"Sir that's not a credible source"
437"Your fired"Source: https://twitter.com/itskatcombs/status/785292280231931904[Relevant Homestar.](https://youtu.be/ODHULJDxo7w)Tremendous Youre welcome, but pleas dont call me franklyThat's quite the memes 8/10; made me laugh.Hey, a top post I'm actually around to see! I mean, me know it too thanks. I can't help but to read it in Alec Baldwin's voice!Holy shit this new voting system is really fucking with my headWow. Didn't even bother to use proper MLA format.Holy shit almost 29000 karma in 11 hoursHey number 1 all time on me_irl!Dude, is this the all time highest upvoted post?4. "People keep telling me" 
4385. "They said 'Donald..."
439That's a nice turkey neckLol this is awesome. 
440
441I need a hilldog version now. "I used my own personal website, factchecktrump.com. It's all 100% facts"Me know too thanks/r/trumplogicCommunism[removed]He really does have tiny hands!And then there's
442
443* 'I only know what's on the internet.'
444
445* 'People are saying..'
446Hey /u/paxxyagent,
447
448
449This is now the top post on reddit. It will be recorded at /r/topofreddit with all the other top posts.Many such casesLong backwards hand creeps me out.Did you really need to photoshop this? There's plenty of pictures of trump at a computer out there lmaoThose are some small handsNasty meme.google, google and google.Didn't Bart Simpson say this too? 
450
451(The episode in 1-3 season. He's going to have to "Repeat the 4th grade...")  1. Take a number
4522. Double itIt's just common sense.now I feel like I need to see a Trump/Brent Rambo mash up meme LolThis post grinds my gears.
453I know he's the presidentBoooShameless liberal propaganda.We have the best sources don't we folks? Rufus Rastus Johnson Brown knows it.U/ruderabbitWRONGthats bob doles chair and everybody knows it! Even yellow dog knows itAaah, it’s going to be great four years …
454
455Thanks DNC.This is going to be a fun 8 years. God I love TrumpHow in the fuck? 27.1k?Get some of the comment karma from a post that will be one of the top on this subreddits 9/11Wellp, time to start yet another meirl page since this one has been compromised with shitposting just like the originalSo /r/meirl is just any kind of memes and jokes now?[deleted]You better know itLiberals lack common sense, they must be fed it via some left wing blog.Sometimes shit's just rationally apparent and we dont have to jump through the statistical fact loops to save time and for sake of argument. [removed]The acting like a toy was probably like an involuntary reflex. I imagine it was innate for buzz that he had to do that. There are plenty of animals that camouflage themselves as trees and shit, but they still know that they are not trees. Yeah, it always bothered the shit out of me. At one point Andy used Buzz's laser and "killed" T-Rex when he was playing, you'd think Buzz wouldn't let Andy use his dangerous weapon...  
456...em...  
457I mean /r/meirlImagine if you appeared on an alien planet and communed with the locals for a while. Then, all of a sudden, without warning, some booming sounds happen in the distance that sound suspiciously like footsteps, and all the locals freeze in place and drop limp.
458
459I'd think you'd follow their example, wouldn't you?Her: He's probably thinking of dank memes
460
461Me: Gallowboob couldn't post to me_irl so he posted here>sleeping with a non-male human
462
463not me irlWhat are you doing here Boob?That's a spicy meat'a ballHer: you've been quiet what is on your mind?
464
465Me: nothing, I promise
466
467Her: Just tell me
468
469Me: If Elliot gets a 1-2 game suspension, and I have the third pick overall, I assume Bell and Johnson go before me, and even 1 week without a stud RB can sink me, so do I go Brown or Julio, and yes, it's a PPR. 
470
471Her: Why do I bother askingYou too no welcome"What are you thinking about? You seem so engrossed!"
472
473"I literally have no idea. I completely blanked out."That dude looks like Patrick Stump[removed][deleted]They're both watching the weather channel.Buzz Lightyear was trained by Star Command. All he knew was that he crash landed on an unknown planet, and suddenly he hears thundering footsteps while the other life forms instantly assume a perfectly still position. Of course he would adopt the same stance. Buzz Lightyear is no first year cadet. He knows how to think on his feet and survive, at least until his ship is repaired. You don't get to go BEYOND infinity by taking stupid risks on hostile terrain.Ffs how long has Gallowboob been stinking up this place?I had a girlfriend who would ask me, "what are you thinking about" at random times.  It always annoyed me because I know the answer she was fishing for, but I  usually was thinking random nonsense like this.  So I started answering the question honestly.  She got particularly annoyed at me when time when I said, "Why doesn't Megatron just kill Starscream?   There's like 400 more guys who look exactly like him, none of whom are trying to stab him in the back."In reality he is just thinking ............. #buzz is actually a dogWhy does that guy look like Patrick stump.I, too, enjoy stealing memesBe quiet Gallowboob[deleted]Exactly me before my separation. Exactly! Buzz thought he was on a covert mission. He had to pretend to be a toy for that 
474
475I can't explain the laser thing. He probably had it set to stunStar Command rulebook subsection 7.5, "any Space Cadet that encounters a race of giant sentient beings are supposed to remain still until said Giants leave the immediate area."It's a defense mechanism. He was copying the natives reaction to a threat he'd never encountered before. Just imagine if you were dropped into the amazon and a peaceful group of natives found you. Would you call them idiots and refuse to use their survival techniques just because they're different from your natural behavior?
476
477Buzz might not understand their survival techniques but he see's that they work so it's only natural that he follows them.This annoys me so much everytime I see it. Buzz was a space ranger. When in a foreign land, it's a good strategy to adopt the culture around you as a defense mechanism. So when the humans (who would seem like monsters to buzz) come in, every toy freezes. So buzz copies them as natives know best how to survive. It's pretty simple Look at my shoe it says 'Andy'. We all wear shoes /u/waterguy12what if the whole story takes place in an alternative universe kind of like it does on sausage party, where time only moves for them if there isn't a human observing them dude :o thats true... I bet it was because he really didn't want to be a toy, so he was in denial, but knew deep down that he was, so when things were serious and humans were around, he froze.The sun is free you knowI also freeze when humans are around.Perhaps it's geneticThat idea is just thinking.............r/ShowerthoughtsI bet she really wants to sniff his buttBuzz thought he was, and yes, it works.Girls worry way too much. Sorry, what do you do when gargantuan people enter the room and you're less than a foot tall?I wouldn't want the power to read minds. It would be horrible.fuck... this is legit a good question Is there some kind of sub for the like buzz light year realization? I love those kind of thingsIs there some kind of sub for the like buzz light year realization? I love those kind of thingsCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
478&nbsp;
479
480*****
481
482*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
483
484*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*u/TD777 She kinda looks like Sarah HuckabeeBuzz Buzz Buzz Lightyear... ... to the couch.Omg this is so us 😭When in Rome I guess u/waterguy12 ?I sometimes wonder if Al Gore would regret inventing the internet if he learned that its primary use in the 21st century is to debate the logistics of Toy Story's premise. 
485
486If toys having sentient brains actually made sense, then toys would have sentient brains in real life too. #DIE GALLOWBOOBRepost from r/dankmemes fuck youI thought i was the only one who thought of that lolDo you think every other Toy had to go through a similar existential crisis as well?In TS3, what happens to Buzz's audio in the Spanish version of the film?I always saw it as a reflex that happened automatically. It is only once they realize that they are a toy that they have the ability to choose not to freeze. Dank I love being a guy. Stupid shit is pretty much all we think about outside of work. And if we're thinking of other women, they're the ones that are so far out of our league that we stand no chance...>Her
487
488r/absolutelynotmeirlAlso, food.One of the rare times where I can relate to this"Her"So their reaction to act like a great idea at the end was that he crash landed on an alien planet and communed with the locals freeze in place and drop hitch.Toy instinct If I had to pretend to be tortured for years before then?You don't know you're getting at.Her   He's a spicymeat'a ball. that's a spicymeat'a ball.This has bothered me for years. I'm glad I'm not alone.staler/showerthoughts#B U Z Z L I G H T Y E A R
489#U
490#Z
491#Z
492#L
493#I
494#G
495#H
496#T
497#Y
498#E
499#A
500#RNothing to see here government. I am a perfectly normal happy person, haha.Shut up and dance.Well the only sensible solution is to constantly stream porn 24/7 until they realise we have nothing for them to see, then we go back to shitposting. This is a real issue.. at my old college campus we had hackers sell the IP addresses of hot girls whose webcams would get streamed without them knowing. It's not the ominous "government" you have to worry about, but horny perverts and pedophiles.The fact that Deku is his profile picture makes it even betterMost likely just watching me text with an emotionless face [the government knows](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zH9Zca1vRM)http://i.imgur.com/S3AI5Uk.gifThere was literally a black mirror episode about thisI know the comment was made in jest, but the implications of this are far worse than people realize. The whole, "I don't care if the government looks at my computer, I have nothing to hide" is like saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say.More motivation for jacking off and crying.
501First hand experience 👌Can i have comment karma?They'll have lots of ammo for your character assassination if you ever decide to run for office as a republican. Yeah, I mean if somebody's looking through my webcam then they're either seeing an empty room or seeing my upper body doing nothing interesting. I get why Mark Zuckerberg puts tape over his, because billionaire celebrities have huge targets on their backs. Someone could actually pay a worker to comb through that shit for juicy and profitable information. If he was under investigation by a government agency, hacking his webcam could dig up some incriminating evidence, but I would think that watching his computer's display and keystrokes would be much more effective as an angle of attack. Maybe those are a lot harder to get a hold of, though.
502
503But moving away from the government angle, I read that a hacked webcam of a man goes for $0.01 on the open market, and the hacked webcam of a woman goes for $0.05. If true, that tells me a lot about supply and demand of this stuff. Either there's just not much to be gained through watching the average webcam feed, or there's enough hacked webcams on the market that only a small fraction of them are watched at any one time, or a combination of both. So long as I don't make enemies, I feel safe from non-government webcam-watchers.what about protecting people that do need privacy, that could possibly be intimidated by a possibly repressive (maybe even foreign) government?You forgot something. "Jackoff, respost a screenshot for the 1,000th time, and cry."lol it's not the government you have to worry about, it's the script kiddies who pack a trojan in with a torrent they put up on the Pirate Bay.
504
505Folks trust me when I say this, you are *not* being paranoid when you put a piece of tape over all your webcams.r/absolutelymeirl[Thats the additude they want you to have and that's the additude that gives them more and more power to strip away all your rights.](https://np.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/70nfuc/comment/dn4mp4b?st=J7P66HZN&sh=dc8cc2cb)Shut Up And Dance65k hearts??( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Me😭🍆💦irlEh 
506
507 Maybe I should be concerned but I'm not. U/keo58isI've had this exact thought meirlBlack mirror is becoming too real Lol so I'm not the only one Why do you cry after masturbating?My Xbox Kinect hasn't turned away from my wall in many years.I feel bad yet somewhat strangely aroused for whoever's job it is to look at me and my shmeat for 8 hours a day. Oh I can so just jack off and cry!This breaks rule #3. Anytime I post a twitter screenshot with the names not blocked out my post is removed ain't that the one black mirror episodeIt's how they rate their effectiveness.Hell I'm jackin it right nowThe government knowsAnd they're laughing at you and it...Yes that's exactly what they're going to do. And that's all they're going to do, because you're a good boy doesn't cause trouble. But there are bad boys out there who do want to cause trouble. Now if you could just give us the names of these bad boys we'll make sure you can continue to be a good boy.Literally what happens This is my reaction when people say social media is selling my information for advertising purposes. They'd better sell a fuck ton more data then cuz I'm still getting targeted ads for 240SX parts and I've moved on to Lexus 2 years ago. SmdhThen threaten to show your Mum to try and get you to confess to a crime you didn't commit...What a passive way to normalize surveillance. The Government KnowsI stream on twitch, the govt is more than welcome to watch as long as they follow ;)Laugh at your tiny penis and your shitty grammar one would imagine.The first time I read this i took "I'm so scared" as serious, now I realise it's sarcasm (I hope)Whatre they gonna do? stab me?Oh no, they'll see my chairReally just upvoting for DekuCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
508&nbsp;
509
510*****
511
512*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
513
514*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*THE GOVERNMENT KNOWS.there's a guy at work who puts electrical tape over both the cameras on his phone, and I tell him pretty much the same thing whenever he brings it up
515
516"What are they going to do Dave, look at your double chin all day?"They can say your porn is "unethical" and try to take your rights away. You should care.More like record you using your tears as lube and threaten to send it to your friends and family if you do not comply. Black mirror season 3 episode 2
517r/2meirl4meirlThe government knows when you masturbate.
518The government knows when you masturbate.The government barely has time to do normal shit. How are they going to find time to watch everyone through their webcams?  exactly in that orderSometimes when shit is about to go down I look in my cam and say "if you're watching, things are about to get realllllly weird"
519
520If it only pays off once I still think it would be greatIf you reverse image search this you get the DevilThe government has all the footage of me eating food in my underwear fuckAs Snowden said (loosely) "Not caring about privacy 'cause you have nothing to hide is the same thing as not caring about free speech because you have nothing to say".Or they can watch me playing sick finger exercises on my bassi dont know if you guys were aware but BLACK MIRROR BLACK MIRROR BLACK MIRROR BLACK MIRRORBLACK MIRRORBLACK MIRROR V BLACK MIRRORBLACK MIRRORBLACK MIRRORBLACK MIRRORBLACK MIRRORBLACK MIRRORBLACK MIRRORBLACK MIRRORBLACK MIRRORBLACK MIRRORV V V V V VBLACK MIRRORBLACK MIRRORTwitter screenshots are not memes"...Is it crying?"Dude, have you seen monkeys? They definitely got anxiety too. ..With alcoholism and crippling depression.Look at them! They are behaving so illogically. Take this guy for example. Almost every day he wakes up earlier than he should, travels somewhere miles from his home and sits in a building. After 8 hours he leaves more miserable than when he went in, but he *keeps doing it*!“A zoologist who observed gorillas in their native habitat was amazed by the uniformity of their life and their vast idleness. Hours and hours without doing anything. Was boredom unknown to them? This is indeed a question raised by a human, a busy ape. Far from fleeing monotony, animals crave it, and what they most dread is to see it end. For it ends, only to be replaced by fear, the cause of all activity. Inaction is divine; yet it is against inaction that man has rebelled. Man alone, in nature, is incapable of enduring monotony, man alone wants something to happen at all costs—something, anything.... Thereby he shows himself unworthy of his ancestor: the need for novelty is the characteristic of an alienated gorilla.” 
521― Emil M. Cioranhttp://i.imgur.com/h4uVZD7.jpg 
522
523Here's the person who tweeted its response to this postSomehow, that tweet *sounded* British  in my head[Relevant lyrics](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fj-10lIrboM)
524>Angels on the sideline,
525
526>Puzzled and amused.
527
528>Why did Father give these humans free will?
529
530>Now they're all confused.
531
532
533
534>Don't these talking monkeys know that
535
536>Plenty in this holy garden, silly monkeys,
537
538>Where there's one you're bound to divide it.
539
540>Right in two.
541apeAnd he was thrown off a steel cage blah blah blah.isnt this a louis ck joke?Fuck, this made me laugh.This is an even stranger conversation when you consider man is supposedly made in God's image, with Jesus and the angels all looking human too.
542
543EDIT: I don't actually care stop replyingAll animals have anxiety.As much as I enjoy this, other animals get anxiety too yo...Planet of the self conscious apes[deleted]This sounds like an Eddie Izzard bit, lolHe made mankind just so undertaker can throw him 16 ft off to the table in hell in the cell in 1998. Why do I imagine this in a thick British accent? >implying that monkeys are like, super chill all the time.And that's why Satan was cast out Monkeys get anxiety tooThere's already angels?We're all depressed and awkward. You're not alone I know you joke, but I'm almost certain monkeys get anxiety too.Satantist. Christ Bless"...lol, look at that one"I can just hear John Cleese's voice when reading the angels' partMNMonkeys have, anxiety too.Did it get dropped from the top of Hell in a Cell?[Higher quality version of this image](http://i.imgur.com/8O3P1Im.png)God: Gtfo Lucifer!Anxiety, no opposable toes, no prehensile tail, fmlCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
544&nbsp;
545
546*****
547
548*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
549
550*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*I'm actually audibly laughing and that hasn't happened on Reddit for a while. I'd give you gold if I knew how or if I had moneyAnd genocide...In Supernatural  the angels actually do say that. Lucifer calls humans abortions. *SPOILER ALERT!!*  This is the exact plot of the new Alien movie.wtf this is just trashCan't stop at this for some reason Tool did it firstRobert Sapolsky was actually the first biologist to prove that a non-human animal (baboons) could die early from stress as well. I'd say God fucked up by giving us a way to express our anxiety in frog-themed memes. change angels to Lucifer and you have a perfect 'The tragedy of man' tldrthe only animal in the world actively trying to be happy.If you think you came from a monkey then you're probably right. I had to read this twice once I got to Mankind because I was expecting it to be about getting thrown 16ft onto the announcer's table-Love this fucked up monkey. 
551-Nah fam how could I love that abomination more than you
552-how dare you my son. Go to hell. 
553"You can go straight to hell Lucifer!""And why did you choose an animal that eats its own shit, feeds its shit to its kids, and throws its shit at other animals? Did you think it would change? That's why humans are so fucked up, God!Videos in this thread:
554
555[Watch Playlist &#9654;](http://subtletv.com/_r6m1uno?feature=playlist&nline=1)
556
557VIDEO|COMMENT
558-|-
559[Tool - Right in Two [1080p HD]](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fj-10lIrboM)|[+24](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6m1uno/_/djym4mm?context=10#djym4mm) - Relevant lyrics   Angels on the sideline,  Puzzled and amused.  Why did Father give these humans free will?  Now they're all confused.  Don't these talking monkeys know that  Plenty in this holy garden, silly monkeys,  Where there's one you're bound ...
560[Being John Malkovich . Glad to be a monkey](http://www.vimeo.com/60134811)|[+2](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6m1uno/_/djz051g?context=10#djz051g) - http://www.vimeo.com/60134811
561[A Terrible Valentine's Day Song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnqnXFrD2r8&t=101s)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6m1uno/_/djz7hka?context=10#djz7hka) - Why are you crying? Why are you screaming?
562[Huey Lewis & The News - I Want A New Drug](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZwQRCkKxNE&t=48s)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6m1uno/_/djzcpwu?context=10#djzcpwu) - one that won't make me headless wondering what to do one that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
563[Why hierarchy creates a destructive force within the human psyche (by dr. Robert Sapolsky)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4UMyTnlaMY&t=153s)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6m1uno/_/djzc83p?context=10#djzc83p) - relevant
564I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch. I'll keep this updated as long as I can.
565***
566[Play All](http://subtletv.com/_r6m1uno?feature=playlist&ftrlnk=1) | [Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/SubtleTV/wiki/mentioned_videos) | Get me on [Chrome](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/mentioned-videos-for-redd/fiimkmdalmgffhibfdjnhljpnigcmohf) / [Firefox](https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/mentioned-videos-for-reddit)"... And now he's made memes. Lovely." *ape!![removed]This could be a Karl Pilkington quoteThere is a pretty cool [song](https://youtu.be/fj-10lIrboM) about this.[deleted]God isn't real, quit living in a fantasy. Quit acting like you know god exists when there is no evidence whatsoever.N
567!. The ->creates board game to protest monopolies
568
569-> people love playing, but it ruins people's friendships
570
571Sounds about right.You know i have never once finished the game. The game isn't as ridiculous as people think. It's just not a lot of people okay by the actual rules and put in their own house rules. I think the games difficulty is exactly what makes it so much fun. What other game can you go from being the richest person in the game to bankrupt two turns later?Let us not forget the classic [Anti-Monopoly](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-Monopoly)Modern day monopoly has very different rules than the original. The original one serves that purpose a little betterThe fact that he never had a monocle is REALLY making me question my memory...The best part of this game is being frustrated that the paper cash Fredrick was holding is now crumpled up and you decide to skip his piano recital only to find out he wrote a note on the back of the monopoly box 'I'll forever love you' and you drive to his house only to find him playing Sorry! with your best friend and you burst into tears on the drive home in your 2003 Subaru Forester. wasn't the whole point of it to let people play with fake money since it was the depression at no one had any money at all?Everyone starts with the same amount though. Monopoly. 1 out of 4 enjoy this game. Funny enough, there's a different version called [Monopoly Empires](https://www.amazon.com/Hasbro-Games-Monopoly-Empire-Game/dp/B00BG8F0NC) which is basically advertising for the brands.1. Parker bros. they changed the rules in a way that no longer reflected poorly on rich people, and 
5722. people don't tend to extrapolate lessons that easily anyway.  No matter how realistic you made it there would be a strong "it's just a game!" crowd.  Hey fuck you monopoly is the best board gameThis is the best version, https://ghettopoly.myshopify.com
573
574I own an original copy of the game. Urban outfitters sold them back in the late ‘90s I believe and a friend gave it to me for Xmas. Parker Brothers got wind bc the news made a big deal due to being so wrong and sure enough they sent a cease and desist. Now you can only find them online. I’ve scene it as high as $100+ for unopened. 
575
576The pieces you play with are a piece of crack, pot leaf, Pimp, Whore, machine gun and basket ball. Lol. [Monopoly sucks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WDBPJFUxWg&feature=youtu.be) and I have literally 2 dozen or so editions sitting in my basement. There are so much better alternatives to the board game scene these days. [Here's a decent list](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAWzA09XGxc) if you like that kind of game which can be much more enjoyable for everyone. Typically, Catan is seen as the end all "better Monopoly".I like the game, but nobody wants to play with me anymore...https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Landlord%27s_GameWhat console is this game for? I think it's great that only one company makes MonopolyAll the people claiming that Monopoly is a good game are wrong. You may like it, but you like a bad game. There are many reasons why it's bad, not limited to:
577
5781) Obviously a runaway leader problem. Yes this how "life works" but runaway leaders simply don't make an enjoyable game experience.
579
5802) Elimination, which is especially a problem during a game of this length.
581
5823) Even if you're not eliminated, you will reach a point where you know you have no chance of winning loooong before the game is over.
583
5844) Because of reason 3, Monopoly has a "kingsmaking problem," where a losing player can sometimes choose which other player wins by giving them all their resources before they go bankrupt.
585
5865) Progress is often dependent on someone making an unfavorable trade. If everyone's too smart, no one will agree to a trade that puts them at a disadvantage, and the game can last a ridulously long time.
587
5886) Most turns are procedural and uninteresting.
589
590A couple smaller design flaws:
591
5927) There is a 1 in 38 chance in profiting from a utility.
593
5948) The best colored properties are not the most expensive ones (the properties at the opposite corner from GO are landed on the most)
595
596Anyways, I'm not a board game geek or game theorist. This all comes from things I've read online, things I've heard from other people, and my own personal experience. If anyone wants to add anything or correct me on anything, feel free.
597
598Edit: Also, if everyone knows the basic strategies, the game basically just becomes luck unless someone makes a stupid mistake.Pretty sure thats not why they made the game. Got a reliable source?Say what you will, I still love playing itI didn't know the rich couldn't finish FUCKING HOTELS, BECAUSE JOHNNY BOUGHT MY SOUL.a game in which it is shown that an advantage will compound your chances of winning.
599
600this can be shown easily.
601
602give 100 people a dollar each and give the a game of chance to play.
603
604a coin toss for example.
605
606see how fast all the money ends up in the hands of 1-2 people.
607
608The first 50 people are eliminated within the first round.
609
610Now imagine this happening every day with billions of transaction, more money entering the system all the time and a time out clause for 7 years if you fuck up too much.
611
612Now add skill, compound interest, stock speculation and property value, commodities trading etc.
613
614Finally understand that some people have parents that were luckier or less lucky than your own, less or more capable all the way back to when we lived in caves.
615
616Life isn't fair, because it's random, but being random is fairer - as you know by any game you have played in which you randomly pick who starts first with the throw of a dice - than artificially deciding who is worthy and who is not based on any bias you may have.
617
618We only do that with children to spare their feelings. Same with 'special rules'. Same with 'participation trophies'. It's not fairer when we tinker with the rules to give an advantage, it is something we do because it's just a game and life is already enough of challenge for everyone.
619
620Just because someone is successful or lucky doesn't make them less of a human and I am certain that everyone working hard to succeed isn't counting on succeeding and then suddenly being deemed sub-human and 'a target' 
621
622Imagine a sport in which the losing team has the right to try and beat or steal or vote to take the trophy from the winning team. Politics.OP hasn't played Monopoly What are you talking about? Everyone starts out with the exact same amount of money.
623
624If anything it shows even a system beginning with perfect equality will eventually result in some degree of inequity, thus dispensing with the liberal notion that inequity in society is a result of inequality of opportunity.People believe they too can also become rich. They honestly think they have a shot if they play the game. They have been conditioned to blame themselves if they are not rich, rather than see the reality.If 1 player received $500 to start and the others received $1, then the idea might become clearerBut the game doesn’t show that the system is rigged for the rich seeing as everyone starts off with an equal amount... if anything it shows you who’s bad at financial management and impatient.I'm 14 and this is deep?But it takes forever You should read War Game by Philip K. Dick.How else are you supposed to get rich making a board game if people don’t “eat it up”?Earlier today I was playing monopoly in a library with a friend when a guy who was cleaning comes over and essentially explains this meme to us. Im onto you cleaner guy.[redacted]I've never made anything [Why you should NEVER play Monopoly again.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tL9wCYTWTDw)If you follow the rules the game takes about an hour. Monopoly isn’t very realistic with real estate investing. You don’t bankrupt people by them visiting your properties. So comparing it to real life makes no sense. Where'd you get all the pink 50s, grandma?Never played CIV?
625
626Kinda the same thing but based on resources and you can nuke you opponents to take what they have or just to wipe them from the face of the earth.For anyone interested in a game that's like Monopoly except actually fun, I recommend Careers. Not sure why it never really saw the same success.Can't ruin friendships you don't haveMonopoly man never had a Monocle and people think he has. Classic case of the Mandela effect  me too thanks Sociopoly for the winThe jail free cards are as close to up your face as it can get.Similarly Norman Lear created "All in the Family" to showcase how misguided it was being a racist and a bigot ala Archie Bunker but it ended up just reinforcing people's views rather than inspiring them to change.Relatable... sort ofCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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629*****
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631*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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633*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Does anyone know where can I play monopoly online? Cuz my friends wont play it with me anymore lolMonopolies are illegal, good job idiot. it also breaks up families Well considering the new version (the one everyone plays) completely removes half the other players. The game feels completely different without the original idea behind the game.
634
635Heres a link to the original 
636
637https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/s/ref=is_s_ss_i_1_8?k=anti-monopoly&sprefix=anti-mon&crid=YSTGZP8VGYUCstolen from [this dumb fuckin twitter account](https://twitter.com/ethancrystal1/status/922970624217231366)
638
639For more realism you start with the board as it was at the end of the previous game, and you try to survive with someone already owning everything. /r/Bitcoinfuck everythingIf you have Amazon prime watch Comrade Detective their Monopoly break down is hilarious.Hey isn't he supposed to have a monocle?They don't watch it though. It automatically hides the video and if the creator complains and the video is good, they bring it back.Most re-used comment on 10hr yt videos everLel they censored dmitri petrenko's last name, a video game characterThats not even funny. That would be like paying for $50 of food in pennies cuz you don't like the store manager. Guess who has to count them? The clerk.That's not how the Report system works though. When you want to report a video (for whatever reason), you have to specify the time at which the offence happens ([Proof](https://i.imgur.com/ws2CeHl.png)). So when the video is reviewed, the reviewer would automatically skip ahead to the time stamp that you specified when you reported the video. If all ten hours are just the same clip looping, couldn't the looped clip be filtered out, thus leaving only the offending content if it's there?Lmao I know it's Dimitri Petrenko from Call of Duty. The censoring is kinda useless if you've played WaW or Black Ops."YouTube staff" XD ORIGINAL COMMENT Link?I don't know how the system works, but I can pretty much promise you YouTube doesn't do much.
640
641I reported a clip of a video game where a character is being raped, full nudity, penitation, the works.. It's still up. Been up for like a decade.Is this what this sub has come to? Screenshots of some of the most spammed youtube comments?what up boihow the fuck is this NSFW.  Where do you people work?They are no stranger to love and know the rules just like you and I.  Just wanted to tell you how I was feeling. They just use the hot dog not hot dog software these days.When you flag it, it asks for a the timestamp.Google Vision or some tool of Google Cloud has nudity recognition, there are some mind-blowing tools out there.Some men just want to watch the world burn.YessCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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644*****
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646*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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648*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*to*Post a 10hr video and give it a nsfw tagDone*to to*They dont watch. They just strike the video out of nowhere after a uncommon numbers of report
649
650I mean. Me too, thanksSadly they'll just take it down without watching it.When you realize that it's already 21 minutes into the video and ask yourself who the hell could last that long, as well as why the hell they're on that video in the first place [This is not what you think it is](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMyqQWcAuKM)Normieme identified.classic youtubeBrilliantly evil. Did you just fucking block out the name "Petrenko"how is this meirl material
651
652how is this +11k
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654wat[deleted]You know how you can hover over the bar and see the thumbnail of that part of the video? They have that too....so is it?RIP caseyanthonyofficialOk, but what does this have to do with United?Isn't she the one that killed her kid?"I will make it legal."I wonder if he's just a loud masturbator or if he only got in trouble when they found the cum afterward. Or maybe he's a liar, but lying on the internet is so rare. How about in a toilet stall. Some times I just need to do a #3A lawyer is precisely the type of person who would have a wank in the dressing room WERE YOU ACCUSED OF A CRIME THAT SOMEONE ELSE... NOTICED?Who would get mad at a guy jerking it in a dressing room? Was he being loud? Was it a wank that turned into a wank-a-thon?You don't *not* sound like a lawyer.When I was a teacher in city schools my Pinhead students told me they would go to Macy's and take a dump in the changing room. Fascinating...me🍆💦irlOnly Reddit post that made me snort out loud all day. Well done OP.Possibly a congressman. I'm honestly not sure what part of jerking off in a dressing room disqualifies you from being a lawyer.  Made the beat then murdered it: Casey Anthony
655
656These rappers don’t know what to do
657If a lawyer can give a [Chicago Sunroof](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkZ15zBcJTU) then I don't see what why TCOB in a dressing room would be an issueCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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660*****
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662*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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664*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*[deleted]I would like see these two having this conversation irlThe names make it so much better.this is hilarious"drunktrophywife"
665Username checks out/u/wildfire701What app is this?
666ProbablyCasey pulled a reverse Jenner I got a blowjob in a dressing room at Value Village one time. My ex was fun.Only if you're under 18
667
668at least that's what my research tells me every time I go onMy lord, is that... legal?Not a dressing room, but...r/legaladvicePerforming a sec act in public is illegal and that is exactly this Fake. You can't reply on tumblr.Lol that shit is killing meKept reading *is it* as *it is*
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670Was very confused >I jerked off in a dressing room do I sound like a lawyer
671
672Yes. That first day of being well after being sick is 10/10[this is him irl btw](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sta%C5%84czyk_(painting\))This is what meirl is supposed to be. Not just random memes.I once accidentally got "addicted" to nasal spray. Shooting that shit up my nose was the best feeling I've ever had. I never knew breathing like that. Nor will I ever again. It came at a price. Luckily I didn't do any permanent damage, and won't ever use it again because of how much worse it made it, but damn. I miss having 100% clear airways in my nose.The joke is on you my nose is always stuffed, one of the pro's of having allergiesIf you hold your breath to the point where it becomes painful, it clears your blocked nose. Iirc your body opens up the airways when trying desperately to get air in.  /r/trippinthroughtimeNow I sit here appreciating my clear nostrils 👃 As someone who got a cold yesterday, this is meirlrn[Oh no, now there are two of them](https://i.imgur.com/QUsqMQg.png)The backstory of this painting is actually quite interesting, the jester is Stańczyk, who was an actual person, the letter to the left is news about Russians capturing the Polish city of Smoleńsk, the event that eventually led to the downfall of Poland. To the right you can see a ballroom with a partying crowd, who don't care about the bad news, they just want to have fun. The only person who cares is the jester and he can't really do much about it. 
673
674The painting was done by Jan Matejko, who painted many events in Polish history. One of his most famous works is *Bitwa pod Grunwaldem*, which is absolutely enormous, really stunning to see in person.Me right now. 😞You are now breathing manually.You trash repost This has been me all weekend (still thinking of the last few days as the weekend because Irma). All I think about are the good times I had when I could breathe freely. Those days seem so far away...I'd much rather have a blocked nose over a sore throat any day. At least with a blocked nose, you can still breath through your mouth, whereas with a sore throat eating and drinking becomes a ball ache. Unless you have both, then breathing becomes a ball ache. Literally me rn. Im home sick and decide to browse reddit to cheer me up. This is the second post. Thank you OP :)I haven't had a clear nose for years is that bad? I seem to be able to produce an infinite supply of snot. I feel as though my suffering could somehow be used as a source of limitless energy and better the world.Right now we should all just sit for a moment in silence just to show respect to our nostrils for not being dicks to usSo you flip over to the other side and hope that one nostril opens up. Then it does and it gets way, way too dry. Or when your ears are full of air, but one "popped" so there's less pressure in it and you feel like your brains fuckin spilling out of your left ear but nothing you do gets it back to normal unless you like bought a fuckin plane ticket, but even that won't help, so you just gotta just wait for the pressure in that one ear to go back down.Weird, i was just taking it for granted as i saw thisThis is the most relatable thing I've seen on Reddit GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!! This is a repost from the front page. NiceThis is most me irl me irl has been since me irlI have a nose breathing machine at night for my nose because i snore. Every morning when i take it off i feel like i am alive for the first timeYess really...i do thisr/showerthoughts This was definitely me, before sinex/sudafed nasal spray. I refuse to suffer now!me too, but my jammies are blueThis is my daily lifeAlmost every single fucking day. Allergies suck Manuel breathing activatet This speaks to me on a spiritual level.This is me right nowThink of this when you get tinnitus Or having a dream and you're not sick but then waking up like the guy in OP's picMe phtoo thankth Repost from r/trippinthroughtimeBeen sick for about 2 weeks now. This has never resonated with me more than nowTo add to this misery imagine your feet smells when your nose is blocked..THIS HAS BEEN ME FOR 3 WEEKS.GJ on the 3h later repostDon't it always seem to go that you don't know whatchu got till it's gone. Every freaking flu.Actually me right now in class.WTF is going on in the next room? Is that Satan sitting on his throne in the upper right?AfrinDoes anyone know the OG artwork?This is why I'm addicted to nasal sprayWhen I was in the Marines, they would make us go to the gas chamber for training every year. They used CS gas which is basically tear gas. We would have to go about once a year around the winter time when everyone is sick and stuffed up. That would clear out your sinuses better than anything and was one of the most satisfying feelings ever.fck you. i just took a deep breath in to realize that my nose is not fully blocked nor fully clear.Don't have asthma, do you?  At least you know that you will breathe again.  Congratulations u played utselfThe painting is called "Stańczyk" and it was painted by Jan Matejko!
675
676https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stańczyk_(painting)Thought this was r/trippinthroughtimeCatzooks it's timothy claypole Anybody have the details of the original art please?
677I bear a very striking resemblance to the fool...Im sick with a stuffy nose right now.... My mom and grandmother passed down their fucked up sinuses to me so I'll never know the sweet bliss known as freely breathing. This is possibly the most relatable thing I have ever found on the internetI thought I was the only one I relate to this on all levels including physical.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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680*****
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682*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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684*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Truu affThis is a zen Buddhist principle. Useful for practicing mindfulness. Very relatable right now.
685
686Me too thanks.I thought this was metaphorical but everyone is taking it so literallyAfter doing this a couple of times when I was sick, I made a promise to myself that I would appreciate my free airways every once in a while. I remember to do it about once every month. 
687
688I occasionally do it for living in a first world country too.I always thought this was just me Weird how common this train of thought is. I'm thought this was about a muse who is sure his failure is entirely because of those shoes.How is this repost and the original both on the front page simultaneouslyThat's my secret; my nose is ALWAYS stuffy.
689
690It's the worst.This is me with my wisdom teeth right nowApparently eating ice cream will reclog your sinuses. I found this out last week. Couldn't give up the ice cream though.can someone give me a link to the original pictureI'm allergic to grass. What does breathing clearly feel like? Is it basically heaven? I'll never know...*takes this moment to appreciate breathing freely*Also when you get pimple inside your eye lid, you think about the times when you could blink and look around without feeling like something is stuck in your eye.This was me but with swollen gumsjokes on you my nose is stuffed for majority of my life so I don't really know what it means to breath freely. ha!This happens to me when I need to poo, I look around and think how lucky everyone else is that they don't need to go. I can't remember the last time I could breathe out both nostrils---those were the daysThis is actually me irl. Like, right now. I can't eat and breathe at the same time.Soooooo Fucking true fagafadgafadgahahaI would really love to know what painting this issYou assholes *all* take breathing for granted. I was born with shit-ass sinuses. I live in a near-constant state of nasal drip, and within 30 seconds of lying down anywhere, one of my nostrils basically fills up with concrete. I've never slept a night with fully open sinuses.
691
692It kinda sucks.As a mouth breather I am not bothered by this.[deleted]I see this and then scroll down a bit and see it 5 posts later... You're nose gets blocked  not "stuffed" tf?Can we get that seal somewhere on this sub. The rebel inside me is born"...to that the defendant tweeting and I quote, 'How bout you suck my balls'"City of Tusla PR rep #1 idiot.
693
694That icon is liklely not protected by copyright law. It would be protected by trademark law. Any copyright that would be owned by the US government is automatically public domain. This would include the Tulsa flag. 
695
696
697Also, I don't see it on a registered trademark database:
698
699[Search for tulsa](http://tmsearch.uspto.gov/bin/showfield?f=toc&state=4806%3A4kmyzt.1.1&p_search=searchss&p_L=50&BackReference=3&p_plural=yes&p_s_PARA1=&p_tagrepl~%3A=PARA1%24LD&expr=PARA1+AND+PARA2&p_s_PARA2=&p_tagrepl~%3A=PARA2%24COMB&p_op_ALL=AND&a_default=search&a_search=Submit+Query&a_search=Submit+Query)https://twitter.com/Tulsa_Parking/status/694734063123337216I work for COT...  and I love the COT parking account>using the veil of online anonymity to act tougher than you actually are
700
701Me too thanksI literally can't read that without it being in Cartman's voiceWe need to change to your to Twitter to pic. The to seal to is to protected to by to ordinance to and to copyright.amazing.Reposting this to Me_IRL is punishable by a $30 citation. [Relevant](https://youtu.be/LhuKrga3eaU)Aaaay my hometownTULSA CAN SOCK METhe City of Tulsa really should consider this generous offer.  Everyone should change their twitter pic to the seal and tweet them lol I want to believe they cleared this through their lawyer first.
702
703"So you're saying it's not something they can copyright? ... MMmmhmmmm? ... Yea? ... So that would make it public domain? Right. ... So if I were to respond with sayyyyy something along the lines of 'how bout you suck my balls' they would have no legal recourse, correct? Fantastic."Somehow, I read this Eric Cartman(South Park) 's voiceHow about you suck my balls Mr. Garrison!"And btw welcome to the internets"Please send us your name and address so we can mail your fine.This dude is hysterical https://twitter.com/tulsa_parking
704
705https://twitter.com/Tulsa_Parking/status/841477523309527040[Bigger image](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/758049613769080833/f1yZdP7v_bigger.jpg) of the parody account's seal.
706
707Good luck in court Tulsa /s.>the seal is protected by ordinance and copyright  
708According to the United States' fair use law, copyrighted materials can be used without permissions from the copyright holders if the materials are used for the purposes of criticism, comment, and parody, among other things. This is a clear cut case of fair use because of parody.  
709And also, as said above, the image isn't protected by any sort of law, in fact, Its in the public domain.Tulsa makes me think of salsa. Now I want chip & dipThis dude is hilarious. if you look closely he put a smiling poop on it to make it a parody. he trolls the shit out of them and best part is he doesn't hide who he is if you actually look it up there are articles about him.This guy made the news in T-Town I think. Fucking Tulsa lolREKTthose balls better be of steelLmao! I live in Tulsa, and I see this guy's hilarious posts on fb all the timeIt's more trademark than copyright but whatever Obvious South Park fan./r/absolutelynotmeirlTotally not me irlWhat's the follow-up on this?Top 10 Anime Battles of All TimeAnyone else read that in eric cartman's voice?Succ my ballz Hell yeah never thought I'd see Tulsa on this sub. Aye I'm a Tulsan.link or fake and gayOklahoma is most definitely *not* OK.Well how about it?Got'emThere is that poop emoji in his profile pic, he seems to like the city I'm guessing this wasn't a seal of approval.So when do we see @Tulsa_Balls reply back saying something like 'Me too thanks'?My exact thought when the city of Tulsa gave me a parking ticket last week.First time in a long time I've seen something from my town that made me proud yet still embarrassed. Tulsa 🅱urning [Movie] 2017 colorizedPresent themme too thanksMr. GarrisonCartman strikes againThis is amazing Here's a link to the actual tweet:
710
711https://twitter.com/tulsa_parking/status/694734063123337216?lang=enAll I can think about is, when keeping it real goes wrong lol. Is this real? Parking's seal has a poop emoji so isn't even the actual seal so even if it was copyrighted it should be fine.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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714*****
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716*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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718*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Proud Oklahomie right hereMissing gif of Cartman's, ["How would you like to suck my balls?"](https://youtu.be/LhuKrga3eaU)Present them.Mharti you gotta suck my bAllz! Mharti Read that in a Cartman with a megaphone voice. How would you like to suck my balls Mr. Garrison.
719 Chandler would love this guy.He should've filed a DMCA himself. They will remove anything.duuuude I was just looking for this yesterday "And then?"Lmao Did he just tell an entire city's government to suck his balls?  I wish I could do that, but I live in North Kor---
720
721[[[REMOVED BY DECREE OF GLORIOUS LEADER]]]Say "Hello" to your future lawyer and legal fees :)It all gets mixed up when it gets pasteurised anyway.
722
723I mean, me too thanks.You're my favourite customer.I buy my milk from shops not cows what is this idiotic nonsenseTechnically that counts as thinking about other girls. Just cow girls...girl cows. its true. each cow's udder has one teat that will shoot piss instead of milk and ruin the whole batch. they call it the Farmer's GambleIf you consistently buy the same brand of milk from the same store over a decent amount of time it can be nearly guaranteed that 2 separate jugs of milk that you've bought have had at least 1 molecule each from the same cow.>having a wife
724
725/r/absolutelynotmeirl So there are about 1.4 billion cows in the world. The average cow produces 8 gallons of milk a day, or 2,920 a year. Assuming all of the cows are old enough to lactate, this is about 4.088 trillion gallons of milk a year. The average person consumes 20 gallons of milk a year, which gives us:
726
72720 / 4.088 trillion = 0.0000000000049 % chance to get milk from the same cow twice.
728
729(Assuming that the cow's milk is randomly distributed across the globe.)Isn't he the singer for Fall Out Boy?There's a dairy that milks their own cows 5 minutes from the house I grew up in. Drank their milk my whole life so I'm pretty sure I have multiple timesWhen I was growing up, we used to get our milk from a farm directly.  Like, we drove to the farm, walked into the barn, put our glass gallon jug under the milk tank spigot, and got our milk.  Then we put money in a box on top of the fridge the eggs were sold from, and went on our merry way.
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731I mean, me too thanks.3meta3fastThis meme is the new r/showerthoughtsIt's amoosing!Isn't that the dude who played Joel in The Last of Us?They're watching the weather channel.how much is of all milk is used to produce more cows when it's is surely not all consumed by mouth?Anyone know the these people are ?I thought this was a reference to "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?".  Like he's wondering if he's ever actually slept with the same partner twice, meanwhile, presumably, she's already considering their entire future life together.
732
733Came to comments.  No one.  ***No one***.  Really?  That's a fucking good question. See you in the morning.This is so true. Women always act like they know what men are thinking but usually its just some random ass stuff like that. Milk causes acne breakouts meaning you can get cancer from pimples cause they are gross and plus atheists are stupidWouldn't  happen because milk is really milks from multiple cows. "Other girls"? Man, she is a woman.Patrick Stump? I know I have bought milk from the same cow many times. I don't remember the cow's name, that was 55 years ago (probably Daisy), and technically it was my parents who bought the milk. Every time I go to buy milk the same bitch is there...How about eating eggs that came from the same chicken or bacon from the same pig?Wtf I saw this on Facebook 2 days ago.Also if three is a way to check.  > Laying next to a significant other in bed
734
735/r/absolutelynotmeirlIm sorry, but I've been seeing this meme a lot and I can't help but wonder, is the guy in this Patrick stump? I can't quite tell from the angle. This is gonna fuck me up for daysHoly shit I've never thought about thisI've never thought about this before, and now I'm never going to stop thinking about it.I grew up in a city which had it's own dairy farm so I am pretty sure I have done this.
736
737I mean me too thanks.💦markCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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742*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
743
744*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free?Ask your local milk peopleJust use r/showerthoughts and you can use this meme format foreverSince only female cows produce milk she isn't wrong about him thinking about other girls. I mean me too thanksClearly he just had sex because it's obviously not on his mind.Well, all I know is that I get my milk fresh from Farmer Joe and only Farmer Joe. He may be a tad bit overweight but to call him a cow is plain rude.I heard once that every breath you take contains one molecule that Julius Caesar exhaled with his last breath. > Her
745
746r/absolutelynotmeirl Porn is worse for this.
747Wtf is going on in the comments in here[like this](http://www.whompcomic.com/comics/2012-12-10-Dating-Simian.jpg)[deleted]The black mirror
748Obviously a casual. I've accounted for the glare in my facility and situated my battlestation accordingly. This is why SSDs are so popularhttps://i.imgur.com/3mM6ePV.gifMy body is a pizza castle
749This is an ancient joke. I think I first saw someone tweet it back in 2011
750
751Edit: Check your comment history, I've been asleep the past eight hours and didn't post this. Only knew because of push notifications- there's a bunch of spam links and comments saying 'I hope someone hacks into this' on this post.The real meirl is always in the comments.
752That's why you wear a fake mustache when gaming. Rookies.... SSD master race
753but then you go out and see your reflection in the snow covered hills
754https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=nvHIGxs6JK4http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/971/528/664.jpg
755
756We all know that he's a billionaire now... So there is hope :) I know this post is going to blow up but i have nothing interesting to comment.
757Loa-ding screen?  What's that?
758
759SSD masterrace. Video players on porn sites ought to end on a white screen.
760Am transgender and hate my reflection. Can confirm.gotta get that ssd to minimize sad time
761obligatory black mirror thingthis sub has become the main sub with all this self deprecation
762...not like reddit, which is deep and meaningful.
763me too thanks
764It's basically living a life you wish you had. A life full of adventure, money and strippers. http://imgur.com/HkZTuwa*Gets up to put a shirt on*
765
766Repost of a repost of a repostWhat's a loading screen?
767
768
769-PCMRThis is way too real.
770[Relevant ](https://youtu.be/NZWp6BhWMY4)fuck mirrors
771Always fucks up my flow.
772Me too thanks
773Black MirrorThe black mirrorHahaha. This made my day.Serius ? :DYeah fuck I´ve gained wait. This was deep. That's why we have VR.If you're having ages to contemplate your life while watching a loading screen you need a faster PC.The scariest boss of all.It's like when you're having fun with your phone and suddenly the front camera goes onThat's what the tv-series Black Mirror was named after!I once caught my reflection in my friends sunglasses and it just ruined my whole day. I look awesome today.Obligatory black mirror commentSimple solution. Stop putting loading screens in video games**heh**this is the exact joke for "porn on the phone". no one has glass screen TVs anymore. sad.Needs more JPEGBlack Mirror SameGetting PTSD nowThis  cuts deepNah I usually strike a pose relevant to whatever I'm playing. 
774
775Ultimate Ninja Storm creates the best poses IMOBlack MirrorIt's called the black mirror!There's a full length mirror to my left side when I'm playing in the bedroom.  The horror, especially when it's a clothing optional game session.Black Mirror.This is the netflix meme with videogames instead
776ThoThat is why I always hit my bowl during loading screensMy sweet bod is the fantasy, I have to play games to makes everything else up on par with that.The Real Black Mirror ITT Video games & Porn
777
778Thank youThis is uncomfortably real. *excuses herself*Too realCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
779&nbsp;
780
781*****
782
783*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
784
785*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Cool that guy stole a really popular joke!!Didn't Notch say this first?Speak for yourself. As long as you ignore the ugly as sin face, I'm pretty hot.That is the black mirror."#success"Not a problem when you have matte LED/LCD screenThis is why I only have matte monitors and a VR headset. Oh Jesus that hits home hardOn pc you never have that problem
786My monitor has a matte finish
787BLACK MIRROR
7882 real
789Exact same reason I do not have a mirror in my house. I already know I look aweful so I don't need anything else to remind me.The black mirrorM(att)e_irlYou should invest in an SSD. You'll never have to see your own face again.I keep my room dark enough so that there are no reflections...
790I&amp;#39;m in love with your body
791Oh a Oh a Oh a
792The real meirl is always in the comments.
793Then suddenly it's like you're aware of your stench too. Mfw no ssd to insta lock hanzoSTOLEN FROM 4CHAN©. Am I too late for big upvotes?
794Yesss
795I feel like this is relevant.
796I don&amp;#39;t go out.
797Relevant Username.
798SSD MASTERRACEMy body is a pizza castle
799You&amp;#39;re funny
800Haha this is just epic
801r/showerthoughtsI thought this was /r/im14andthisisdeep at firstJokes on you, I got a projector! Just get a better pc and this won't be an issueThis is why DotA is the master race.That is why you get a matte screen. No reflections to worry aboutI have multiple SSDs, I can only see the shame when I look at my computer's bill.Buy SSD have small load times Too real man, too realThat's why ssd been invented.Thank god I got matte screenGot that matte screen can't relateGet an Ssd. You'll spend significantly less time staring at yourself 
802
803Or post your pic to /r/roastme and enjoy all the positive comments you get back 😇So you don't stream your gameplay to Twitch then?My tired brain read a horror movie version of this. 
804
805"video games are a wonderful escape from reality until you see your reflection reloading in the screen"
806
807Thanks brainThat’s literally the only reason I play Fallout 4.That's what an SSD is for2rl4meget a projectorThis is why I play on PC. Minimal load times.This is one of those things you've always felt, but never found the words to describe. What a great post.This hits too close to home...FuckI was just playing minecraft while extremely tired with slight vertigo, I fell off my bed as I was walking along a cliff.Jokes on you, my monitor has a matte coating so I don't ever see my disgusting reflection. Yeah.... I've had this happen. Suddenly there is this sudden anxiety in self awareness.Pro tip: Don't game on a glossy screen.That&amp;#39;s why you buy a big ssd !
808That&amp;#39;s why you get an SSD :)
809Pretty face
810Not if you&rsquo;re playing Fallout 4.
811Hey it&amp;#39;s me ur hugger
812Hey you.
813&amp;#34;Spooky Technology Time&amp;#34; woulda been a hell good title tho. /shttps://gyazo.com/aae4fefec82c6ff91784434311b93113 this beautiful moment holy shitCheck out my channel for sick content bros. Sub4subMy body&amp;#39;s a tavern.
814Reroll
815That is hilarious
816Who made this? It&amp;#39;s amazing.
817Porn too
818That is why I despise mirrors.
819They nailed my triple chin.
820They nailed my triple chin.
821Relevant Username.
822Matte Master Race represent!
823I hope someone hacks into this.
824I hope someone hacks into this.
825I hope someone hacks into this.
826Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don&amp;#39;t know?
827WOW IVE NEVER HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE THANKS FOR THE ORIGINAL COMMENT
828
829God I fucking hate you peopleand that why i spent an extra $200 for a non-reflective screen
830PC gamer here. What&amp;#39;s a loading screen?
831He's still having his wireframe textured Remind me of this https://youtu.be/8IvURkvjWsYSomeone sent me this at the aquarium who did thisHe kept swimming.  He just . . . kept swimming.I have nfi why I laughed at thisHe's not clowning around why is this so hilarious?Me too thanks #HAVE YOU SEEN MY SONMY CHILD HAS BEEN APPROPRIATED.YOOOO MY SON WHAT IS GOODMore specifically... https://i.imgur.com/FgSrgI1.jpgDon't abduct me or my son ever again.CORAL!!!!! Where are you!!??? CORAL!!!He turned to the "shark" side *fookinGive me back my son!Meirlin the clownfishGIVE ME BACK MY SONThis doesn't belong in MeirlLiam neeson in Taken 4 : Granted ***PROWLING NEMO***My child went missing a few days ago and I laughed at this, what is wrong with me?GIVE ME BACK MY SONWhere's me fookin sonHow is this You IRL, OP? You're a fish looking for your son? 
832
833Oh, right, this sub is just another /r/funny now, like all pic-based subs that get big and don't enforce their theme.why are his lips so plumpedYou are a fish that lost his son in REAL life, fuck off you dumb cuk, I hope your wife gets aids from another man.http://i.imgur.com/XJlpmRt.jpgI don't have money, because I'm a fish. But what I do have are a very particular set of gills; gills I have acquired over a very long career. Gills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my son go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.If Harrison Ford had voiced Marlin findeng minoMeirlin The address is right there ^This never gets old More like MeirlinThis made me laugh so damn hard. Well doneHe has a very particular set of skills. Skills he has acquired over a very long career. Me too thanks.Oh hey! My roommate made this! Like, 3 years ago? I think?Low fucking energy. 
834Very fitting. 
835Good job, I guess. I saw this yesterday in a different thread and screenshot it and sent it to a bunch of random numbers. Half didn't reply, one said "wtf" and the other was like "Is this Isaiah?" Lmao. I thought it was funny, they didn't. Whoever you are. Where ever you are. I will find you.Oi M8, I'll rek ye. 😂😂😂Old memeYa'll are missing the message that it was airdropped to somebodies phone, you fuckin karma whore.one upvote, that was mega funnyMeirl(in)I have a very particular set of gills...Give me back my son!!!!Fishfucking dorry...WHen the female clownfish dies, the male switches his sex to female and continue caring for the youngFish is on a fuckin skitz mission m8sFinding MeMoDamn this made me sad :(He just got nemo'ed.Dat fishhttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8IvURkvjWsY
836
837Not my video, but absolutely hilarious.Fuckin fish Alf Stewart MeirlinMarlin has had enough of your shit.Get this shit outta here20 comments and on the front page of /r/all
838
839The maymay is strong with this one. The worst part is when you rewind, only for there to be a quick cut between the talking and the action. Like wtf.It's all about the build up Goddamn it, why is this shit always so relateable?You ever watch one of those porns that's split into like 500 clips so you keep trying to find the scenes you've missed out on so you can really understand the context of it all?I just hate it when a porno has plot holesI’ve got to at least see when the tits or first genital, ass cheek or what have you emerge.  Then I know I’ve followed the plot development enough. But the real question is anyone else try to cum at the same time as the dude 😂I'm just here to watch Butch Jones get fired. Every fucking timeI can't stop doing this. Can't help it.
840I mean me too thanks
841If you have a multimedia/gaming mouse with side buttons you can reprogram them to skip forward/back a few seconds, making you the God of seeking the perfect spot. You'll never cum while watching the close-up of a man's face again.Thank goodness for sites that uses video players with seek preview. No more missing plot!But you usually don’t miss anything they just cut scene to eatin ass"Hey babe? Let me eat your ass"
842
843"Okay"THIS IS TOO FUCKING ACCURATE! I'm drying laughing on a quiet greyhound full of people after already travelling for 12 hours. Thank for lifting an exhausted man's spirits.I can’t watch porn unless it has a nice plot. I mean... me too thanksNo, there all the same. 
844Hey baby fix my sink. Ok you got it. I think you dropped something. Oh where, oh yeah it’s in your asshole let me fish it out with my tongue. Come on, everybody knowns the moment of penetration is the icing on the cake.Smh when it goes from the slow music the the screaming And then it ends up being a jumpcut.That's an intergallactic law of porn.
845
846You have to see the pickup line which lead to ass eating.Hm.I wish there was a way to put the best part on repeatYep 😁I literally just did this to 3 different videos. holy shit I'm cackling I have to do this almost every goddamn time I don't demand physical perfection but a little expositon is required. If it's realistic that's a perk too.Gotta watch vixen plots. Every fucking timeToo accurate. Can't miss those critical plot points.This always happens to me WHY CRUEL WORLD WHYThis is pure goldI’m always curious how they made that move so quickly...what did he say for them to go from the front door to 69ing in 2 mins
847
848Edit: it’s always underwhelming Sometimes the woman (friend's mom or sister) is so reluctant but one minute later she is all over guys dick and like "oh yeah give it to me, harder, deeper" and I have no idea what has happened in between.this is honestly the best post of all time on here...We need to go back! Hahaha hahahaha hahahahaAnd then you accidentally go back to the place you were before, during the intro, and end up just watching the whole thing. I always skip forward a minute to get to the action, but it turns out the action was about to start within seconds, so I just skipped the best part.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 25) with your post!
849&nbsp;
850
851*****
852
853*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
854
855*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Dude repostI saw a meme with the exact same text on Facebook two years agor/nofapI cannot relate.Ew porn. re-re-re repost🕶Lol Reddit has no mind!Said no one everFuck gallowboobFUCK, DO I UPVOTE FOR AGREEING OR DOWNVOTE GALLOWBOOB?!This post is a trap.Fuck GallowBoob.The Redditor's dilemma FUCK YOU GALLOWBOOOOOOOOB
856
857YOU PLAY EVERY SIDEGallowBoob, can I have a small loan of a million karma?Oh yeah I hate him t- wait, it's you?It's funny because it's ironic.grab em by the gallowboobHonestly I respect the hustle. Gallowboob has a goal of karma and he's perfected it.https://i.imgur.com/1OWOMNy.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/LaJ9Kmo.gifI dont get itWas going to upvote until I saw it was gallowboob's post..Is this actually OC? From GallowBoob?OP, ur an fagitY'know what, /u/GallowBoob? Half of the posts of yours that I upvote, I don't even realize that it's you. What do you do for a living to have all of this time to post? M E T A
858
859E
860
861T
862
863A Wait a darn minute Is your name GallowBoob because you like to see boobs hangingStill downvoted
864
865Edit: thank you kind stranger but why tho? [removed]Szechaun sauceIt's ironic because I was just thinking about how much I hate GallowBoob. https://i.imgur.com/USJrdcT.jpgDon't be sad or unhappy, it's a wonderful happy day, so there's no need to hate or be sad <3fuck you gallowboob. So now its okay to post that but when I did it earlier you get triggered? LMAOMan I wish I had something creative to say. I mean...me too, thanks.Can't wait for hollow tit to repost this on r/dankmemesI LIKE GALLOWTITOk what the shit? Gallowboob just posted OC. I think this is an imposter using his account. I finally understand 'Fuck GallowBoob'. /u/gallowboob stop being such a karma whoreUpvoted until gallowboobWhat the fuck did you just fucking say to GallowBoob, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to GallowBoob over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.So conflicted right now.I don't get itMe too, thanks.NO! I WON'T PLAY ANYMORE OF YOUR GAMES GALLOWBOOB.Self hatred? Totally me irl.Fuck off GALLOWBOOB wtf I love GallowBoob nowI fucking hate reddit sometimes.I got banned for reporting gallowboob once. Fuck this gay earth.  
866
867https://i.imgur.com/TBJfySR.png
868
869Mine was the rasin one too. god damn youre an attention whoreincoming unpopular idea: shadow ban gallow boob so we don't get another fucking unidan
870
871i anticipate his fans to downvote this, i'm okay with this.Repost.Who the fuck is GallowBoob?I'm concerend you are an AI that never goes offline from the internet.*Checks op's username*  
872"I've been bamboozled"[deleted]Oh no, he's going to abuse this subreddit for easy karma.Double bamboozledDownvoting because garbage but upvoting because free karmaWhat's the meme behind gallowboob I need to knowMe too thanksTIL GallowBoob has only been a Reddit user for 2 years.GALLOWBOOB_IRLI wonder what gallow would do if Admins just deleted his account one dayIt's a trap!Self Hating boobThis image is doctored fuck what do I dowait a minuteFuck you, *Gallowboob*. 
873
874I mean me too thanksWhy do you do what you do /u/GallowBoob ? It must be a full time job, but y tho?ayyy lmaoWhy am I upvoting this?
875You're the only Redditor who's user name I recognize and not from being some kind of novelty account like /u/CommaHorror or /u/AWildSketchAppeared. 
876
877That's more impressive than the novelty accounts.  NOT THIS DAY, KARMA WHORE!/u/mothzilla is a total cunt.You cheeky bastardAm i the only one who's not from the usa and has no idea who GallowBoob is? I mean fuck him...Funny how I upvoted it without knowing he was the one who posted it.Reported for harassing a reddit user. You should feel ashamed of yourself.Me too thanks.I hate youWtf I love /u/Gallowboob nowme too thankshmm. Self loathing. Why the name GallowBoob?[U/GallowBoob is taking a break from the front page in the circlejerk of mild-to-severe depression that is r/meirl?](https://imgur.com/Zpq2RzI)
878
879Username checks out.Someone fill me in on this meme plsAgreed/r/titlegore. At least put in some effort you nolife. BleeeeerrrrrYeah, fuck /u/gallowboob right in the boobs. 
880
881By which I mean, me too thanks. OH SHIT GALLOWBOOB BECAME SELF AWARE.
882
883P.S. I do agree with the image though.What even is this web of mimicry, Bobby?I went to like this cause fuck gallowboob but then saw it was gallowboob and now i'm conflictedYou are FAKE NEWS.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
884&nbsp;
885
886*****
887
888*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
889
890*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Fuck GallowBoob 2017 Nice post man, self depreciation is alw-
891
892I mean, fuck Gallowboob me too>hated by an entire website
893>fuck it I've got nothing to lose 
894Meta He does it for the karma right? ELI5 for gallowboobWhat a complete bottom bitch sloppy mess faggot postThis is the best /r/Gallowboob post of all time. It's become self-aware!GALLOWBOOB FOR PRESIDENT /u/pepsi_next is a better karma whore than you. How does one eliminate one with no life?  If God were kind, you would be stricken with a painful terminal illness, and the last post from your account would be a portrait iPhone picture at your funeral, with the title "He would've wanted karma one last time."i don't get the gallowboob hate you seem like a pretty cool guyNotice me Gallow-kun!!Who is gallowboob and why should I care? If only.I got a 69 day ban on r/circlejerk for saying thatNot sure whether to downvote because gallowboob or upvote because the text says "Fuck Gallowboob"Why not just find out where he lives and jump him?  Detain him for 24 hours and then see if another gallowboob magically turns up. Ha ha, I also don't like that GallowBoob  fellaMe: oh great this guy again
895
896Me to me: We've been bamboozled I Don't get itVideos in this thread:
897
898[Watch Playlist &#9654;](http://subtletv.com/_r63t1dz?feature=playlist&nline=1)
899
900VIDEO|COMMENT
901-|-
902[Marco Rubio Short-Circuits, Repeats Same Scripted Line Four Times During GOP Debate](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNRNHgi1RzU)|[+42](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/63t1dz/_/dfwwbfw?context=10#dfwwbfw) - Even better, Chris Christie called him out for robotically repeating the same things over and over, and he responded by.... robotically repeating the same thing over and over.
903[Idubbbz "I'm Gay"](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-_GWUw8LwM)|[+3](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/63t1dz/_/dfwwz92?context=10#dfwwz92) - This.
904[Talking Heads   Stop Making Sense   The Movie](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoUKMRtv0Fk&t=773s)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/63t1dz/_/dfx80g8?context=10#dfx80g8) - Thanks
905[Family Guy - Ostrich Laugh](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X_Ot0k4XJc)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/63t1dz/_/dfwvfq0?context=10#dfwvfq0) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X_Ot0k4XJc
906I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch. I'll keep this updated as long as I can.
907***
908[Play All](http://subtletv.com/_r63t1dz?feature=playlist&ftrlnk=1) | [Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/SubtleTV/wiki/mentioned_videos) | Get me on [Chrome](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/mentioned-videos-for-redd/fiimkmdalmgffhibfdjnhljpnigcmohf) / [Firefox](https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/mentioned-videos-for-reddit)Fuck GallowBoob.Get us some screenshots of r/Millionclub
909WE KNOW ITS REAL DONT HIDE ITFuck I fell for itWhat time bbySorry.Who is he Dude, you have like 12 million post karma. Is this shit your job?I feel a trap somewhere...Hahah this is probably the first Gallowboob post that I upvote...Big if trueI actually upvoted for a sec there...The quality is high with this postFinally something we can all agree on.I'm conflicted. 
910
911On one hand, it's /u/GallowBoob. On the other hand, he did use the good /r/meirl sub so he can't be totally evil...But you start getting more socks on Christmas. You can actually choose the ones to fap into.Lazy observational comedy 101: mention a specific name like Susan or Carol for a cheap laugh.Then stop blowing it all on weed!My aunt and uncle still send me money every year. Ranges between $5 and $20.
912I recently turned 31.Today's my 20th birthday and I couldn't relate more to this Its funny because today is my birthday lol.
913
914Me too thanksEpic Susan. She's epic because she has a name Maybe if you stopped calling your mom Susan, she'd give you someI'm 33 and i still get money for my birthday from my father. My dear mother on the other hand feels like she needs to buy/make me something sentimental every year. It's great and all but money, I need money!When you're 7 that money usually goes back to Susan I never got money on my birthday, it was taboo in my family to give money.God bless the ramen noodleMy birthday is tomorrow and this is hitting so hard. :( Luckily I had nothing to spend money on as a kid so I have it all saved up for now. On some real fuckin shit though. I'm in college broke af.In 40, my grandma still gives me 100 on my birthday. I used to get to buy cool stuff. This year, I paid the power bill. They know what you do recreationally. That's why we get gift cards. I've NEVER gotten money on any birthdays Can't decide if this is /r/firstworldproblems or /r/entitlementproblemsMy parents never gave me money until the present-buying got more difficult than "a toy". When I started wanting books by specific authors and other such complicated things, they switched to money, and dad's been bumping up the amounts over time because he's worried about getting hit by inheritance tax once he kicks off. (Mum doesn't give a fuck because she doesn't have chronic anxiety.)This was the first post I read on birthday... coincidence? I think not I googled the joke a bit and I think this is the original: 
915https://twitter.com/duhrell17/status/867395681731981313/r/WhitePeopleFacebook Can confirm, today is my birthday. I find the opposite. I'm finally financially stable now with a nice healthy savings account. Wtf am I gonna do with $250? Whenever I go to my aunts house she always sneaks $40 into my pocket. She would always say to buy myself something. Now she tells me to buy my son something. My Birthday was yesterday!!! The big 22. Yea..all my family does is ask me for money now...😒why does my reddit say this post has only 16 commentsI still always get a cheque for £6.00 from a relative on my birthday. I'm grateful for anything I get, but why such a strange amount? Why not just a five pound note instead?You're suppose to save it up when you're a kid you dolt. The money teaches you fiscal responsibility. Now you're a grown adult that probably wastes money on stupid shit.it's my 🅱️irthday today and im feeling thisAn old neighbor that never had kids and never married would send me a dollar every year for my birthday. We figured her vision was failing when when sent me a 5 one year. She passed the next year after. It's the thought that counts. Remind parents they can give you 14,000 tax free every year.  Just a good idea, Menendez out. Interestingly enough this was posted on my birthday Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
916&nbsp;
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918*****
919
920*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
921
922*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Every year for my birthday growing up my aunt would give me $100 bill. She did the same for my sisters and cousins.. until we're 16 and actually started needing it. Like dang it Jackie (my actual aunts name, insert remark about top comment here) I'm starving and need rent. Hahaha! For once, I can't relate to something on this subreddit! My parents don't know wtf I like so they just throw money at me and expect me to buy video games with it.
923
924I'm also a 24 year old loser with no job, no life and very few friends, so I think at this point they just take pity on me.I'm 27 and Susan still gives me money, but her parents still gave her money until they passed. They stopped giving me cash once they found out I smoke weed. Please. Stop. Putting. That stupid name every time. It was funny for like, a day but now it's just old.i love [random name] jokes there so funny and random ahahalol fkin' Susan.haha fuck?? I just got $30 from my mom for 36th birthday Exactly Truth🙌I'm turning 27 and my grandma sent me the same amount she's been sending for years - $50 - and told me to spend it on "doing something outrageous" since my birthday is on the day of the eclipse. What exactly can I do with just $50 that's outrageous, Grandma? Seriously, I love her, but that's like nothing nowadays. She's super out of touch. Maybe you wouldn't be starving if you studied business administration instead of gender studies...It's just dumb to give/recieve money when you're not a kid.  What, should I give you $100 on your birthday and then on my birthday you can give it back?  Unless there's some big disparity in financial situations between the two parties it makes no sense.  Be a little creative and buy them something or take them somewhere.Get a job then you lazy fuck, mcdonalds, hooker, anything Susana the root of all evil, all i hear about her is bad thingsHuh ... my mother would throw me a couple hundred bucks every year until I was 30.  Of course, she also knew that I was living on the knife's edge between poverty and prosperity that is NYC.Well maybe if you didn't disrespect your mother by calling her by her first name like that she would be willing to give you money.  /sStop giving you money? what?  
925I get 10x the amount of money from my parents now than I did when I was 7. (22 now)This is actually me irlMy family gave less and less money as my siblings got too old for gifts and I got old enough to recieve bigger gifts.
926
927My brother and sister got $3,000 after graduating and I got $150 total.
928
929Of course they graduated in the early 2000s and I graduated mid recession. 
930
931 Fuck you SusanGet a Fucking job and give money to your mom. Fucking millenials.Maybe stop calling your mom by her first name.[deleted]My parents do because they realize what a fucked up society the US working world is. still got hit thoughDon't forget about the beesMy mom when I showed her this meme: "well you should have behaved then"**ENTITLED MILLENIALS, BACK IN MY DAY I PAID MY WAY THROUGH COLLEGE *AND* LIVED ON MY OWN!**
932
933
934CORRECT.
935BECAUSE YOUR DOLLAR WAS FUCKING WORTH SOMETHING AND COLLEGES WEREN'T *QUITE* THE RACKET THEY ARE NOW.quadrupled? HAHAHAH! Since my dad was in college tuition has decupled.😎Crumbling Infrastructure 😎This is currently my spiciest meme of the day good sir.Don't forget that they are now trying to take SS and Medicare away from you, while grandfathering themselves in. Baby boomers are truly the worst generation ever. Damn.. that hit close to home. Oh wait.. I don't live in a home.They also invented participation trophies, and then once the kids they gave them to got old enough, berated them about it.My parents never threatened me like thatAt least your parents tried to warn you, mine didn't tell me anything. I'm not prepared for this :(Joke's on us, amirite?>going to college
936
937happyporky.jpg"The adults quadrupled college tuition."  
938  
939
940There was a [fascinating op-ed](https://www.wsj.com/articles/how-to-beat-the-high-cost-of-learning-1487204060) yesterday that showed a correlation between the rising cost of tuition with the expansion of loans and grants by the Carter administration under the Higher Education Act. Worth a read if you're interested in an analytical look into a possible reason for the gross rise in tuition costs.amazing😢😢😢I'll give you the first two! But we sure as shit haven't stopped melting the ice caps yet in our generation :'(r/2meirl4meirlThis gets reposted so, so often. Go easy on them. Back in their day a black dude drinking from their water fountain was something to cry about. Too true. More like [dectupled.](https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/02/09/considerations-on-cost-disease)    "remember when we-"
941
942This post doesn't fit unless you're AmericanGold for a repost, niceThanks Obama. fucking repost this some more please Housing market's pretty solid where i liveWell show them by living in their rented home until they're dead I'm one of 4 my gf is one of one. It's depressing but in today's society she's a millionaire as she stands to inherit a whole house. Do I laugh or cry at this?This post is shit.Yeah... you really have no understanding of economics.Still blaming your parents eh?Yeah because millennials don't contribute to global warming in anyway. Text book divide and conquer by the 1%. Pitch the young against the boomers while fleecing everyone while they're distracted.
943
944 Do you honestly think that individual boomers deliberately used gas guzzling cars and accepted gold plated pension plans just to piss off future generations?
945
946Rather than railing against some old duffer in a golf cart, get at the political and corporate forces behind today's dismal prospects, get politically active, vote, get informed about automation, globalisation etc.R/im14andthisisdeepYou're all up voting this, I get it. You're salty butt hurt kids. But op is really just a reddit shit poster and you're all backing it. imgur link: http://imgur.com/a/9fD7O
947anyone have the original image?The long con always gets yaPranked againWhat can be done?
948
949How do we build a utopia?The new housing market crisis at least in California is from chinese investors buying everything up with cash. Hahaha. One thing to keep in mind is most of our parents would be Gen X, not boomers. So they were certainly misled into giving these assholes power, but our generation was raised with unfettered access to information and so too will be the next. Things will slowly improve. Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
950&nbsp;
951
952*****
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954*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
955
956*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*In the old days they scalped your backside, now the scalp your bank account.[deleted]Seriously fuck the previous genNot even me_irl, only meirlRepostI swear I've seen this same picture on /r/all three or four times this last week. My parents don't work for Goldman Sachs.At this point, melting the ice caps was just the frosting on top of the cake
957
958I'll show myself out.well damn. I just got my ass kickedI got La Chancla They also put us $19 trillion in debt.But the beatings tooWhat makes you think our generation wouldn't have done the same?How does this belong in me.irl thoSteal those tweets baby I love it. Honestly, I feel like this is reposted here every month, and it still gets 750k upvotes withon the first 4 seconds..the fact that you blame a whole generation for the decisions of few still makes little sense, sure it's a nice clickbait..but in the end the blame should go where it belongs, your government imo.[deleted]ITT: Millenials blaming others for their problems.[deleted]>Blaming other generations for destroying society and the world when you are 10 times more destructive than they ever were
959
960Wait till you see the world your generation cre8s m8Yup. Adults suck. Rise up children of Earth and take back the planet! /stypical worthless millennial complaints99% of this sub does absolutely nothing to try and improve the climate other than shitpost on the internet about it."Everything bad is the previous generations fault. We won't fuck things up like they did. We will make everything better."
961
962– ~~Great Depression Generation (Greatest Generation)~~
963
964– ~~WWII Generation~~
965
966– ~~Baby Boomer Generation~~
967
968– ~~Generation X~~
969
970– MillennialsWhat is this? A me_irl post?Just lemme deculpabilize myself of anything to with those things while doing memes. K thanx, feel so much better about myself now.Bankers destroyed the housing market0/10 shitpost. wtf is this sub even for? low quality memes? get off my frontpageWhat a bunch of pussies. Do you think the kids that went to WWII came back and bitched about old people "getting them into a war", it's fucking embarrassing to see this shit.Just because you hate your parents doesn't mean your parents generation is horribleYeah it's never your own fault it's always someone else's, especially your parents, I mean, they only raised you and shitYour hulky-bulky sulking is an unattractive trait. God I hate this argument, as if our parents didn't have to deal with problems left behind by their parents lolIce caps are still around. That's not on themWhy can't Plankton be this fucking cute.I get my drama fix on redditIt's lonely but at least I don't have to deal with bullshitAsocial, not antisocial.Everyone's stressing over prom and I'm just sitting here with no friendsDoes failing at everything because you have no motivation count as drama?*everyone at school is mad/triggered*
971Me: *the cockroach* [deleted]I usually eat when I'm alone. So, I'm always eating...usually tater cheeps or wandering souls.Introverted =/= Antisocial Wow...this is actuallly me for once#ASOCIAL **This is probably due to the fact that I stay at home all day playing games and watching anime instead of going out. Not complaining tho...Sometimes i don't go outside because social interaction scares me. HAHAHA yeshiding the fact that you're slowly dying insideReminds me of Jerry in this episode of _Seinfeld_:
972
973https://youtu.be/kzzwLRT9AcI?t=180This is the first one of these I actually identify with.  People around me seem to constantly be going through some type of real mess and my only mess is if I can find a Switch somewhere.And you get to have a burger!INTROVERTS UNITE!!! Introvert power!!!!I was talking to a co-worker one day and  mentioned going to a restaurant by myself, and their response was "oh, that's so *sad*!" in a sympathetic voice and with a look of concern. I soon discovered that this preconception extends to the movie theater as well. I haven't had company at either for more than six years. It never even occurred to me that this was unusual.  I miss that lifestyle a lot
974
975Don't get me wrong. I love my wife and my friends and all their drama. But man, sitting around my apartment, no responsibilities, fully nude eating my favorite cheeeburger. That was the lifeI think it's trauma.2D>3D anytime!The real zen master.
976
977>The Master, by residing in the Tao,
978sets an example for all beings.
979Because he doesn't display himself,
980people can see his light.
981Because he has nothing to prove,
982people can trust his words.
983Because he doesn't know who he is,
984people recognize themselves in him.
985Because he has no goal in mind,
986everything he does succeeds.Like how everyone got a phishing virus but I don't have any friends so I'm good.it's a pretty good life tbh*semantics-fueled comment* This is not what "antisocial" means"I'm lonely but at least I'm not involved in drama."
987"lol I never went to any events or dances and I'm fine."
988"I'm not antisocial, I'm just introverted."
989
990Psychology 101: Today's Lesson? Defense mechanisms. I just realized that's a cockroach"...but you're antisocial and drama about you happens behind your back."It's a good life An ungrounded outlet? And underwater none the less! Appauling!No people no problems. I'd like to eat hamburgers while watching adult cartoons. I don't care about who you fuck, what is your problem in life or why you got fired from your job.He's thinking about that electric socketr/antisocialsocialclub/r/2meirl4meirlbut what if you're the type of person that finds drama? Yeah that about sums it up now that I don't have to live with my Mother in law anymore.Can b me some years. I could use a burgerIt's called being a SociopathYeah, please help...Although, I wish I had a girlfriend, I don't have to deal with bullshit. This is true when it comes to friends as well.Not really anti-social, but... sign me up, if there's drama I nope out of there like Neo in the Matrix./r/bikinibottomtwitter If he were truly antisocial then he wouldn't be going out to eat at subpar restaurants. Perks of being antisocial 👍Posted to social media. I'm concerned that an underwater burger joint doesn't ground their electrical plugs.Hahaha this I get. Watching always watching. RepostThis is okay.Is this the Chinese cartoon family 🅱️uy??That bug looks like a slice of ham Why are outlets so huge in SpongeBob?ME. DEFINITELY ME IN MY FAMILY.When I was 14 I remember wanting to be involved in drama because i had never experienced it. at 16 i stopped talking to most of my friends because they were too hard to deal with. Not my circus. Not my monkeys.This is actually me irl 
991See username Anyone else notice the electrical socket on the wall? My lifeThat guy is so cute I bet he has tons of friendswhen you're antisocial and you still have dramaI was diagnosed as antisocial as a teenager.  My friends and family worried about me because they thought I was depressed.  They couldn't understand that I just enjoy being alone more than I enjoy being around other people.  
992
993Society is all about playing games together.  That's all it has ever been and that is all it will ever be.  People laugh at those old judges who wore white wigs, but then those same people put on their clown suits (business clothing) and go play pretend.  
994
995I play the games here online because I can always walk away when it gets boring and I don't have to deal with the emotional bullshit of others.  I just click the red x and they're gone.  
996
997People get upset when you tell them you don't care about their games.  They can't even really understand that it's just a game either.  So they get mad and scream like the little children they are, but I couldn't give a carrot.  I'm just here to entertain myself and maybe learn something every now and then.  When this toys gets boring... I'll just pick up another.    This is the most relatable meme I've seen on here so far.NON-SOCIAL! Antisocial means something entirely different.I recall during my sophomore year of college a guy and girl on my floor in the dorm were dating and apparently they guy was sort of a piece of shit and they were having drama. At one point something like 20 people were crowded outside his room. I was watching TV at the time at looked out my door to see what they noise was. Saw the crowd and went right back to watching TV. Not my fucking problem.Non-social or asocial, anti-social is if you're killing and eating peopleCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
998&nbsp;
999
1000*****
1001
1002*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1003
1004*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*This is the first post I've seen here that actually made me happy about myself. Yes, it is nice to not be involved in everyone else's bullshit.That's why I quit Facebook, could handle the drama lovers any moreRepost this one more time…13 reasons why...I don't give a shit.  This Samich is great. Brb.Unfortunately, even being antisocial won't always keep you away from drama. :(When you're antisocial but somehow get mixed up in a fuckton of drama anyway Out of 288 comments, I am the only one just now complaining how a power outlet under water could just short circuit and kill a bunch of things while it is at it?water is scary manme dealing with my problemsHis reaction at the end lol... "oh, I see. Well, this is embarrassing."I saw the reverse version of this gif and it was *awesome*.
1005
1006EDIT: [Here it is!](https://m.imgur.com/SXCt0yD) Took me a while to find it. Me drowing in problems which are really not that big a deal, only to have people look on a laugh at my failure
1007
1008Finally, when someone brings me back to reality, the embrassment of how I have just behaved sends me into shock. 
1009
1010Oh I mean me too thanksIf you think about it, this entire sub has gone completely mental. Just imagine what this would all look like without the internet medium between us. First, one guy shows everyone a picture, then everybody else begins laughing and parroting phrases back and forth. Everybody in a room, just repeating shit over and over, "Me too thanks!" "Me too thanks!" Then someone takes the picture, and draws something else on top of it; usually something we can all recognize from before. And everybody laughs and parrots the same phrase again, "O shit waddup" "90kg projectile!" "Me too thanks!" If you imagine it, it looks like we're all in an insane asylum. In fact, that's really all we do here; just drive each other insane. We keep repeating the same shit over and over until one person finally snaps, and everybody agrees and moves onto something else. Then the whole fucking cycle repeats itself. We're all stuck in the Loony Bin and nobody can escape because we just keep feeding into each other's crippling mental illness. And I don't know if I can fucking take it anymore, one of these days I'm just going to lose every last bit of san- Lol I mean me too thanks.
1011
1012This feels like a return to form for me_irl. Like an honest-to-goodness vintage me_irl meme. No begging for upvotes, no bullshit, just an image/gif of me irl. 
1013
1014Edit: oops I'm on meirl not me_irlFloor is responsibilities.I can relate with this. Lo mismo me paso a mi cuando era niño jajajjaThis me anytime I have to make a phone callPerfect portrayal of me freaking out about shit that hasn’t even happened yet.  "Oh."Oh look an actual meirl. I did that as a child. > Female touch
1015
1016r/absolutelynotme_irlGod bless this kid’s soul>having somebody that cares about me
1017
1018/r/absolutelynotme_irl > Pretty girls who can see perfectly fine coming to rescue me
1019
1020definitelynotmeirlhow dare you record me during my trailsThis happens to kids sometimes. They’ll hang on to the rope and aren’t strong enough or don’t know how to upright themselves. It’s really freaky, especially since they’re young and  don’t know what to do.that moment you find out you have disabilitiesWhat over thinking does to you/r/bettereveryloopI had a friend jump off a rope swing once into a creek. The current started to carry him off and I could tell he was freaking out. I was about to grab the rope and swing after him when I realized he wasn't far from the shore line so I yelled "STAND UP!". He heard me, stood up and the water level was at his waist. This is very deepChildren are the worst.Could the people  from /AnimalTextGifs do their thing pleaseHow would you get outta this situation if you didn't know how to swim?Man I'm glad video cameras were a lot less prevalent when I was this young.Hahahhaha that's great. How did he get out there in the first placeThis happened to me once a couple years ago. Fell off a board a little ways out from shore. Was hanging on to the side of the board and couldn't get on. Started freaking out a little as waves kept crashing around me. This went on for probably 30-45 seconds. Finally was able to get my feet below me and I felt the ground. Immediately was able to stand up in the ~4' deep water. Felt like an idiot, but was damn glad I wasn't going to drown like I thought.When I used to lifeguard, I witnessed this happen to a fully grown adult woman. She walked her ass straight into the deep end, didn’t know how to swim, and when I reached out my guard tube, she grabbed onto it and the rest of her bloated whalish body promptly floated to the top of the water just like this gif. Except instead of crying she just looked at me expectantly and like it was my fault she was stuck in that position. Ffs lady.Well I’ll be damnedEven the kid on his shirt is holding his breath.Whaaaaat an idioooooootHes like "finally bitch, I know it's shallow I was just stuck" Here is a perfect metaphor for my life.  Constantly drowning when I could easily just stand the fuck upThis is my reaction to anything at all.me thinking bout washing the dishes me getting out of the shower in the morningPoor kid was scared to deathThis is what internal overthinking looks like.This was actually me learning to swim. My parents took me to swim classes and I was convinced that the instructor was trying to drown me. 
1021
1022I was a special kid. If that's his big sis, she is never going to let him forget that day. 
1023
1024That grin lol.Chicks thighs tho in the back~~geraffes~~ kids are so dumbLearned helplessness anyone?Big sisters are such smug assholes. Basically [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHPsZKT1QhA&t=142)[Appropriate John Prine song](https://youtu.be/PnMNBTc1DQU)
1025
1026"It's a half an inch of water and you think your gonna drown..."Me trying to navigate adult hood. Waiting for someone to show me this.Best way to get the ladies lolMe during a breakdown It’s not that deep bro...How much I overreact when I'm not getting enough attentionAm I a bad father if I would just stand there laughing? if of course I would tell him to stand up but I would let him do it himself.r/bettereveryloopLolWhen you think you're in big trouble, you just have to put your feet on the ground.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1027&nbsp;
1028
1029*****
1030
1031*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1032
1033*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*This is the most relatable picture on the internet, hands downThat kid is going to be so scared of new concepts when he grows up I mean, clearly big sis is on her way to help, but why would you film this and not just help? The kid's obviously distressed, don't be an asshole. Water is honestly really scary. Story time: I can swim, like I’ve taken lessons throughout my life and I know how to tread water and do basic strokes and such. Well, about a week or two ago I decided to run the Warrior Dash. Now if you don’t know what that is, it’s a 5K run with army-like obstacles in between. At the end of this event, there is a obstacle where you have to climb up an incline, go down a water slide, and swim your way out of a deep muddy pool. My tired ass was like “whatever this will be fun and easy!” So I go down the slide and dive deep into the depths of this pool, underestimating how deep it was going to be. I was legitimately growing and neither the lifeguard OR my boyfriend believed me until I had to be dragged out of the water. And that is how a 21 year old basically drowned after running a 5K. The end!  I hope he feels very embarrassed.Me at a yoga class.  LolThe new Robin Hood is young.This gif sums up every single time I hear a person bitch for hours about problems that aren't actually issues in the first place. Repost!!There’s a metaphor here somewhere.That's me whenever anyone says to throw something out that I used to likeHahaha, what a dumb piece of shitIt's the dead sea yet why am I still alive 😭Hansel: So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?" 
1034Derek Zoolander: And? 
1035Hansel: And it was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius. Dead Sea be scary/u/stabbotI'm so glad this is only a gif. I would hate to hear what that little shit sounds like/r/childfree What a little bitch. The moment you realize your emotional because PMS ladies, gentlemen, and non- genders, this is your future sjw leaderLol silly Mexicans Basically... "millennials"I prefer the old karma whoring to this repost garbage.Great post"Dinosaur"
1036
1037"That's not a zodiac sign"
1038
1039"Haha none of them exis- are zodiac si- haha I saw this internet thing. Sorry bye"They don't mean anything and are completely arbitrary, but they do technically exist. Im curious as to why people are obsessed and try to make sense of it. They're like fortune cookies. Everything is relatable. I wish I didn't existnot being physically real doesnt mean they dont exist, budIt doesn't make much sense to say that a "zodiac sign doesn't exist". The girl could have more correctly said "That's not a zodiac sign", and the joke would have nowhere to go. This is the meme-equivalent of Alien Covenant - A story whose plot can only move forward because the characters involved are idiots./r/comedycemeteryI know it's a cliché for people say this sub has gone downhill... But wow this sub has gone downhill.
1040
1041EDIT: Huh, I thought this was r/youdontsurf. Looks like 100+ people don't like meirl anymore anyway...the correct response is Ophiuchus Another person that doesn't believe in dinosaurs? Go back to whatever backwards ass hole you crawled out of>communicating with a woman who isn’t my mother
1042
1043r/absolutelynotmeirlRace is a social construct but racism still exist. 
1044
1045
1046Astrology is a social construct but zodiac signs still exist. They should make a subreddit for when posts make your eye roll back. I literally did this rn. In the end, nothing exists and we are just part of a simulation created by our creator who probably uses his poorly built universe to reveal the idea that explosions create particles of many forms which is probably more like our version of second grade science which would be insulting to our kind due to our high amount of pride and unwillingness to accept ideas that interfere with our already set in stone ideas that are probably already the stupidest to our creator's kind and therefore we are even more worthless than the speck of dust we are in this ever expanding area which we learn to call space.I love shitty memes, but come on.The problem here is the wording. Half the comments here think the post implies that the real constellations that astrology is based off do not exist while the other half think the post implies that astrology as a measurable mystical force does not exist and people are getting butthurt for it. I think that it is possible to believe that "I can't believe its not butter!" is in fact not butter however skeptical one may be to the claim as its texture and taste does reflect several pure butter products though that the difference is softly noticeable.My fav pokeman is homer simpson xd its funny cos pokemans dont exist xdCancer certainly does r/youdontsurfFrom the salt in this thread, I'm afraid more people believe in Zodiac bullshit than I thought. Either that or this post is just shit.Fuck zodiac signs man. Constellations are useful as hell, and zodiac signs ruined it by saying oh look u are bunch of stars we arbitrarily grouped together so we can navigate using the sky or seperate parts of space. Now they have bad taste cause people believe it makes them who they are.   
1047Maybe if someone tells you that you will act angry for a month and you believe it, you will act angry. Or if you know someone is a particular sign then you would look for when they act like the extremely vague horoscope of that particular sign.   
1048Fuck this bullshit dude.  
1049Try to guess my sign, if you are right on the first try by assuming a sign based on the personality of comment I will admit it might not fully bullshitThey are entirely arbitrary. Land on another planet and you'll be looking at different sets of constellations. Erase all human knowledge of zodiacs and have us restart today and the constellations we come up with will be completely different. 
1050
1051People on this thread getting bent out of shape over the fact that zodiac signs technically exist as a concept are missing the point of the picture: that it's all bullshit. None of it is actually real and it's just a species that evolved an affinity for pattern recognition seeing arbitrary patterns in stars that aren't even related to each other. /r/comedycemetery Do I exist too thanks?Dank.Weird Al lied to me?Corelation doesn't equal causation.I remember reading an ALF comic as a kid where he said his zodiac was Cream Puffs. That was really funny to me when I was a child. Ophiuchus. Top kek.If Shiryu can be dragon, I can be dinosaur.I can't upvote this enoughFuck you guys I liked itWhat is a zodiac sign?I thought zodiac sign is like month? Kinda like January, April, August, and December. It is like saying, "What month were you born in?".
1052
1053Chinese Zodiac is more of a year.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1054&nbsp;
1055
1056*****
1057
1058*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1059
1060*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Make this the new meme please.I want to be a zodiac Yeah but good boobs do exist and where's his game?/u/trollabot PM_ME_YOUR_TITS_GIFSYesss! Fucken stupid bastard. Dude...c'mon, Dinosaur exist!! I think it should be something like Unicorn, cause the Dinosaurs did exist. Back in the good ol' days, amiright?When Ixalan is released later this month. Totally gonna say this in the future and sound like a total prick to while I do itAre Zodiac signs an accurate way to predict a person personality?  No.
1061
1062Am I still gonna be proud of my sign and say, "Me" whenever I see a sign post?  You damn right.
1063
1064It doesn't have to be scientific or accurate to just be a lil fun.  As long as you don't let it ruin relationships l, it can be fun to just play along.  Sometimes you trick yourself for a minute and it's really enjoyable to believe that there might be more to this world than what science tells us.find out what your friends receive on snapchat with this easy script free: goo.gl/DRWt3AnOnE oF tHeM eXiStYeah they do. I was born in July and I'm a Cancer. You know how I know it's real? Because I got it after looking at this meme. Why are so many people here butthurt about making fun of astrology?Zodiac signs are fucking stupid. I do something similar, but I say 'David Bowie.' 
1065
1066Anyone who believes in astrology also likes David Bowie enough that they can't force themselves to say he isn't an astrological symbol. Works every time.[deleted]Haha. Atheistic nihilism is so smart and funny! I love Rick and Morty!I rarely audibly laugh reading Reddit, but this made my day. I'm gonna piss a lot of people off with that line.So, what is your religion? Oh please, as if you wouldn't totally play along if she was talking to you IRL.#Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy ;) nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat~ wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch~ puts paws on your chest nyea~ its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good~ paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft mmmm~ so musky drools all over your cock your daddy meat I like fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe puts snout on balls and inhales deeply oh god im so hard~ licks balls punish me daddy~ nyea~ squirms more and wiggles butt I love your musky goodness bites lip please punish me licks lips nyea~ suckles on your tip so good licks pre of your cock salty goodness~ eyes rol back and goes balls deep mmmm~ moans and suckles
1067
1068It's weird. When I see them try to eat something that they aren't supposed to, they practically sprint away from me. It's like they know they're doing something wrong...grease me up, womanWillie hears ya. WILLIE DON'T CAREIs this the episode where Bart was supposed to read Ivanhoe?chew. chew. chew. chew. chew. chew. 
1069
1070*chew chew chew chew chew chew chew*I live in the city so 9 times out of 10 it's a fucking chicken bone.My dog was a very sensitive boy. He instinctively grabbed with his mouth to eat the cheese puff I dropped , and I yelled NO and he instantly spit it back out. Another time he was ripping apart and eating a paper towel, I heard the sound of the napkin ripping, and I gave him the "wtf are you doing" look without speaking. He looked at me, then made a really sad face while spitting out the torn paper towel pieces in his mouth by sedately flicking his tongue and slowly walked away. 
1071
1072I never thought a dog would spit out tasty food because I told him to, or stop doing something he was enjoying only by noticing my subtle displeased face. He was the goodest boy. Put him down last week. I am lost.
1073
1074Dog owner here,  it is almost always poop. Our dog ate my wife's hamburger last night... snagged it right out of her hand I have a 4 month old Siberian Husky and this is my life right now. 
1075
1076Instagram.com/pearlywhitepaws
1077
1078Edit: added my pupper's IG for your viewing pleasure Cue the dog spit on handI NEED YOU TO GO OUT AND BUY EGGS FOR BARTI was wrestling wolves back when you were at your mother's teat.[deleted]607 points, 2 comments? WeirdDamn Willie got some nice guns. Have getting fit made me gay or more aware? I don't even know Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1079&nbsp;
1080
1081*****
1082
1083*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1084
1085*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Dog? My 18 month old does this.My dog with the cat toys. She's a menace I feel this exact way with my kids!I'm at work in my office and I actually laughed and people gave me THE dirtiest looks. For that I say upvoteI've seen this fucking post at least 5 times My five year old does the same thing. I don't get how this is meirlhow many times is this going to be postedI really love that my dogs always spit it out then and act like "oh yeah what was I eating? How did it get there? You can have it!"I've slowly learned that my dog will have a heightened interest in something if I make it clear he's not supposed to eat it. 
1086
1087Dead bird on the walk? If I say no and pull on the leash he will snap it up and eat it as fast as he can. If I don't react he won't do more than sniff it. 
1088
1089Verdict's still out on chicken bones. Nothing will keep him from fried chicken bones.Oh god that's my cat. Except he starts running if I approach, continue chewing, run to hide somewhere I can't reach him. Then proceed to puke.An everyday battle. First meme I laughed at in 75 years.This is MEIRL, every five fucking minutes!And then you have poop smeared all over your fingers.This works for small children too. With a puppy this is more relevant than you know !2real4meMine got a chicken wing fully chewed and swallowed before I could stop her just the other day. Luckily we haven't had any noticeable problems as of yet.but are you the man or the dog?I think that image tells you where your pants areApplies to toddlers too.This has been my life for the last several months. I have a German Shepherd puppy who's constantly searching for new and exciting things to put in her mouth. She seems to be especially fond of my guitar picks.Change dog to toddlerThis works for toddlers tooHilariousFound my roommates stupid dog doing this the other day. After like 2 minutes I got her to open her mouth and I saw a plastic piece in there. Thought it was just a plastic minifigure thing (roommates are really into warhammer) so I start yanking it out of her mouth. Turns out it was a disposable razor head. Stupid dog liked the taste of shaving cream so she would root through the trash can and chew on razor blades even if it meant cutting the shit out of her mouth.how about when it's trying to chew a brickCat or deer poopHahaha, I really like this one. Great work OP! <3Hahaha, I really like this one. Great work OP! <3replace dog with childApparently everyone on this thread has been wrestling wolves since before the wolves were sucking on their mothers' teats. I have the same issue with my children.Same but my 2 year old son...."Ne'er an animal alive could outrun a greased Scotsman" - Willy hahahaha this happens all the time outside when I jog with my dog
1090
1091you never know if it's like a wasp or just a twig or something, gotta lay the smack down and get whatever it is outta thereYeeaah.... This is my toddler.Reminds me of [this](https://pics.me.me/when-your-dog-has-something-in-its-mouth-that-isnt-8083016.png) post There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a [greased Scotsman.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9_jIa2WADc)Here in dc we're having an early cicada brood emerging. I just got a dog a few months ago, and now this is me every time I take him for a walk. At least 6 times per walk. He loves the bugs man. My dog tried to eat a fucking penny the other day. She was so sneaky about it, too. She hid it under her tongue when I caught her the first time, so I thought she dropped it. She's kind of a piece of shit but I love her.Babies too. Minus the teeth, and fur, and usually cuteness, and tail (hopefully). So completely different, but the same idea, close enough ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯When you know furries like it rough.WTF is wrong with your guys' dogs? I have a 110lb german shepherd. He pulled a ribeye off the table once and got in trouble for it and never again has touched the trash, anything.  He's home alone 6 hours a day too.  never ate poop, nothing.  [deleted]Can I ask why this same meme gets front page at least once a week?>wtf they eating
1092
1093what? this sentence makes no sense.I’m definitely interested but the multiple tamagotchis sound like a pretty big commitment that I’m not sure I’m able to sign onto at this point in my life man, looking at that duck makes me want to make a pot of gumbo. the flavor that duck brings to the party in my pot is exquisite. 
1094
1095you ever had duck gumbo, nathan? >3 tamagotchis
1096
1097Where do I sign up?I have a friend named Nathan.  
1098I'll ask if this is him.
1099
1100At least, I'm pretty sure we're friends.If you're 21 and your family is pressing you to be in a relationship, something is wrong with your family. At 21 you're just a kid adult. imagine standing up and peeing with that poster staring right at you...FUCK!?that bio is copied afi don't even have the money for a cool costumehi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up baby rattle my name is nathan but u can call me t3h TaCo dUcK oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me … im 21 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch gravity falls w/ my wife (im polyamorous if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! like they say the more the merrier!!!! just KIDDING!!!!!!! IM SINGLE LOLLL and i like tamagotchis … neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so make sure u swipe right!!!!
1101DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again \^_^ hehe…toodles!!!!!
1102
1103love and waffles,
1104
1105t3h TaCo dUcK oF d00mIs depression a hobbyI bet he actually gets a lot of action with that bior/bossfight>tamagotchi's
1106
1107Pass. Not going to swipe someone using an apostrophe to pluralize a noun.i'm just here waiting for /u/fuckswithducks to arriveYeah like "ugh how can I split my time between you and not 1...not 2...but *3* tamagotchis...next you'll be asking for monogamy."I hope he finds true loveMe, an intellectual: 3 TamogachiiI was with you until that erroneous apostrophe.Hard left swipe.
1108
1109I fuck up, not across.I had the same taco costume for Halloween, best costume everSingle life must be boring as fuck Nathan Props for the Gandahar poster over the toilet. The dude can't be all bad.RepostMy friend matched with some dude with this profile a while back. I feel like half way through he date he's just gonna try to sell you insurance from Aflac. Sexy legsWould swipe in whatever direction is supposed to be the "Yes" direction.Sign me up!im in tearsGod damn this is an old one. Brings me back a couple of years. When we have children how do you expect to keep the kids aliveoldie but a goodieAll of that checks out.I’m starting to think Tinder should be relabeled from a dating app to a screenshot for karma app That's my spirit animal./u/BIacklocust los zingers have found a new member>41 miles away
1110
1111Not you irlu/fuckswithducks so u broke up with your girlfriend? : (I'm hungry for tacos The amount of old picture reposts -- that are literally years old -- on Reddit is crazyOh baby I'd love to get one of HIS  duck pics...every time meirl makes it to the front page of reddit I read it for a little while and try to understand it and then leave more confused. sort of like 4chan. except without the white supremacy and porn. 
1112
1113nothing like 4chan.[deleted]Something is DEFINITELY wrong with Nathan.If I was a girl I would swipe right holy fuck...That's exactly what I would say if I was married with a couple of kids though. Hmmm...I'm in love!this guy sounds like a real wizard of loneliness.Is his favorite food duck tacos?
1114Anyone else swipe left to close the picture?The 3 tamagotchis destroys me every time [Nathan. Lookin' for some side action!](https://youtu.be/xPG5VaPe_Ug)I think his family's right, something's wrong with him.This is what scientists believe to be the last image the brain creates before death... is this god??winrarI don't know. If I wasn't old enough to be his mother (and married), I'd probably go for this. I'd super like this motherfuckerNow how in the ever loving hell am I supposed to find a nice girl when guys like this are out there? I can't even begin to compete against that. Nope chuck testa!He cleans up nice. That's a right swipe That right there's a keeper. I could never be this smooth :(mah boiI always knew it existed... ever since I was a kid.. The.... The.... The Cucaracha!  
1115
1116*maracas rattle in the distance*I'm high, but are duck tacos a thing?In my experience, kids in their early 20s, regardless of gender, do not typically have bathrooms anywhere close to that clean.  Pretty impressive.The man has good taste in art! Hundertwasser, "iranaland over the Balkans" I believe. Fucking A, I knew someone was gonna post it here by the time I woke up.I have a mask like that! My nibling gave it to me as a present a couple of Christmases ago. Super weird gift to receive. 41 miles? Like hell I'm driving that far.Some part of me is like, this is totally my boyfriend, and another part of me is saying, wait, that's like your boyfriend??? Where have my taste in men gone? r/absolutelynotmeirl
1117
1118I might have messed up, I'm drunk, but the people know. I like the pauses after everything, the marriage thing just flows into 'just kidding.three tamagotchis.'Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1119&nbsp;
1120
1121*****
1122
1123*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1124
1125*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*I'm annoyed they didn't use the nose holes in the bill for eye holes.> Tamagotchis
1126
1127Now there's a name I've not heard of for some timeKudos to you Big Nate>Married. Couple of kids.
1128
1129I was about to comment “[r/absolutelynotmeirl](/r/absolutelynotmeirl).”I remember Tamagotchi! That shit was my childhood. I had so many different ones!Pagin u/fuckswithducksI thought tamagotchi was a kind of an omelette.Whose family thinks you're weird for not having a date to family gatherings at 21? my grandparents have the most ridiculous fucking shower in the world. There's three different handles you can turn, and every single combination will do something different. Theres also these stupid jets built into the walls that will shoot you with high pressure cold water if you mess up.
1130
1131"contemporary" my ass
1132
1133EDIT: [Here it is!](http://i.imgur.com/e7wUw44.png)When you poop in their toilet and it doesn't flushEspecially when you didn't bring your own soap and shampoo.First time I visited my girlfriend's (now wife) parents I hopped in their shower and saw this "fancy" soap dispenser hanging from the shower head. I hit the button and expected soap to come out of the bottom. Instead it shot all over the shower in little spurts, meanwhile I'm moving around trying to get good "coverage" by the "soap".  
1134After the shower I told her parents that I couldn't figure out their soap dispenser, they laughed, I laughed, great way to break the ice with my first visit. 
1135P.S. I highly recommend the Scrubbing Bubbles automatic shower cleaner. I burns a little, but that's just to toughen you upMe the first time trying to figure out [French showers](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61WzqI5ExrL._SL1000_.jpg). Not only is it confusing when unlabeled or the labels wear off (left knob controls temp, right controls pressure), the pipe is not insulated, so one of the sides gets really hot and burns you when it's being used.This is me in my own showerusing others' showers? /r/absolutelynotme_irl This is why I only use my own showerI was crashing at a friend's house for the weekend while he was visiting his parents and for the life of me I couldn't figure out how to turn on his shower. Rather than face the embarrassment of asking him how I used a dish rag and the sink to clean myself for three days. I'm not proud of what I've done. As someone who routinely stays in 3-6 unique hotels a week, this is a skill I never knew i'd develop.I always turn on the shower before getting in. Hot water tap first, wait for the water to flow hot then mix in the cold. I love when you do that thing when the water starts and you're scared it's gonna be really hot/cold so you awkwardly stand in a corner away from the water This is not my experience but my wife's u/lolccs she really doesn't know how to post a Reddit (lies) but she gave me the go ahead to tell the story.
1136
1137
1138-----------------
1139One time when I was younger I slept by a friends house, and their parents had a shower everyday rule. But mom had made me take a shower before I went over there, so I was there for like 5 hours and before bed the mom was like okay time to take a bath before bed. I was like but my mom made me shower before I came over. She was like no excuses. So I go into the bathroom and can't figure out how to turn the shower on or how to get the water hot. So I'm like 6 or 7 hunched over the bath thing taking a cold bath bc I couldn't figure it out. I never slept by my friend Christian ever again.
1140Hey /u/bloodylipservice,
1141
1142
1143This is now the top post on reddit. It will be recorded at /r/topofreddit with all the other top posts.My ex girlfriend got stuck in my buddy's shower. She could not turn it off. I was asleep and she ended up calling me and asking me to come in. She was in there for an hour and 20 minutes. 45min shower routine and then 35min trying to turn the water off, LOL.Do none of you fuckers ask how to use the shower before getting in? I mean, when I'm using the shower at a friend's house or something, if it looks too different from mine, I take a quick moment to ask if their shower has any quirks or anything.
1144
1145
1146Of course, hotel showers through me off, and if the shower head is too high and non adjustable it's awful, because I'm not very tall and I feel like I'm just being spit on.this show is fucking stupid, theyre not supposed to have anything and figure out how to survive but then they pull out a spark metal thing to make fire and they have a machete.Because of the name of this show I always believed "naked" and "afraid" rhymed. Every time. Don't you know to do that before even undressing?  Or am I just that much of a vagabond.  
1147
1148You're supposed to turn on, tune in, drop the temperature to your liking before you even enter. We're all laughing but we've definitely been thereMore like naked and scalded. I can never get the hot water right at other peoples houses My last had separate H & C knobs. The Hot water knob was super temperamental. You barely had to breathe on it & you'd be fucked. Just had this problem.DdMe when I visited my ex for the first timeHate those logarithmic showersI turned it 12 minutes ago and it was only as a stabilizer! SHOWER y U do diS,?maybe we're just better off heating up water with fire and just going from there man Naked and Comfortable This is so good. Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1149&nbsp;
1150
1151*****
1152
1153*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1154
1155*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*One of my high school crushes was on naked and afraid ....
1156We have a shower that has the hot/cold reversed. I always have to remind people that hot water comes from the cold side. Having somebody to figure is so not me_irl. I also hate myself, life. Interesting, sounds like you go about it all right. I have bad scarring so I'm overly-cautious about picking/popping haha
1157
1158I'm sure having a supportive partner helps a ton too. keep being you!And frantically checking window /door/r/porntitlesmadeforme[deleted]You can really tell that people on this sub are insecure because no one comments. Fuck"totally"if i have birthday people write me happy birthday ask about my life i tell them im doing fine.
1159Im not doing fine 
1160
1161:(Someone texting me
1162r/absolutelynotmeirl[deleted]so meirl that im gonna use it next time someone texts me
1163
1164whenever that isconversation between me and my ex girlfriendWe_irlyeah we are but no one actually cares about how life's going for 99% of people we know so its ok lolThis post has > 10k upvotes, and only 65 comments.
1165
1166This sub needs help."Hello McMurray"
1167"How are you now?" 
1168"Pretty good, an' you?"
1169"Oh, not so bad"haha I tried to hang myself with a power cord but it was too painful so now I'm going to try a razor blade lmao I found out a good friend died yesterday. I'm less than fine. r/2meirl4meirlme too thanksI'm saying this next time someone texts me that You might never know the truth. thats facebook in a nutshell for you.enjoy!HahahahahaWait. Wait. If the first one lied about hows life doing, saying he or she is having it tought and the other lied about having the same life situation. If no one lied all is happy, but if all lie one is happy. If one lie both can have the same emotion or not. You need to think about it. My life. MoodCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1170&nbsp;
1171
1172*****
1173
1174*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1175
1176*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*/r/me2irlHey my day was actually pretty good.lol I'm texting all my friends pretending I'm sober but I'm flat ass wasted at 5:39 because my days sucked and I drank like a quart of moonshine in an hour.
1177
1178I hate my life.Lol that's everyone. Even when people ask they just want to hear that your good, and not your problems.Yeah 🙄I'm not lyin.  I'm a giraffe./u/agent800 me irlWhat's wrong with me?So, a glass half empty kinda guy"how's your life"
1179
1180"good, yours?"
1181
1182"good. and you?"Someone is writing, that's a thing at least.This has 30.2k upvotes.....people what are you doing with your lives?Then you invite the person and share some booze.
1183
1184
1185Edit: Hi can we downvote this comment and upvote the one under me (by Arcidamus) ty.Oh look, a good and relevant me_irl post.Me, with myselfdeleted  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.0056  [^^^What ^^^is ^^^this?](https://pastebin.com/FcrFs94k/01159)"You wanna just jerk each other off?"I know it's pressure, but also sucking it up and dealing is an anti-awkardness thing.  Part of being a good host is directing your guests sometimes so they are comfortable (as in avoiding this type of situation.)  I got clued into this when I was a student in France and the family I stayed with had guests over for dinner (mini-dinner party).  The wife would tell people where they should sit at the table so the guests didn't have to awkwardly mill around and "feel it out."  With a little prep and diplomacy, it's the best approach.
1186
1187Part of being a good host is offering stuff to your guests, but when they don't know what they want, making a suggestion.Wow mr lucky has a friend. I get paid to pick up this guy for three hours and take him to do whatever he needs/wants to do. Every freaking time I ask him what he wants to do.
1188
1189"Oh I don't care whatever you want to."
1190
1191No bruh, I'm getting paid to take you to do shit. PICK SOMETHING!My excuse for sitting at home aloneThis is actually me and my friend today tbhI always respond “I can play with these things all day everyday, so which one do you want to play while you visit”At this time, it is customary for alchohol to be introduced into the situation. Usually in a high volume.xkcd is always relevant: https://xkcd.com/330/That's how brojobs and buttstuff begins.It's the host's responsibility to entertain.Friend: well pull it out
1192Me: my moms upstairs 
1193Friend: she got a boy friend 
1194Me: yea, my dad 
1195Friend: does he got a boyfriend  *Has a friend*
1196
1197r/absolutelynotmeirlLiterally every friendship I ever hadUse a random number generator, generate numbers between 1 and 100, that is the number of seconds I get to look through all of your stuff indiscriminately."Wanna smash?"This fucking happens every timeNow don't start that again!This was the conversation I had from about 12-15, where we were too old to play the same games we used to, and too young to *really* go anywhere.
1198
1199Then we got our licenses and weed, and nothing else mattered. The answer is always sex.In the end we couldn't decide so we ended up giving each other brojobs.
1200on one hand this seems silly to me
1201
1202on the other hand if we didn't have netflix, youtube, or video games i literally don't know what my friends would do together. besides go to the bar, i supposeCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1203&nbsp;
1204
1205*****
1206
1207*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1208
1209*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Me and my friend used to do the exact opposite of this when we were like 10Look, I really came over to play goldeneye on your N64, but I'm hoping you'll suggest we do that, cause we always do and this way, you'll think I'm not just using you like the asshole that I amin high school my friend would call me like "wanna come over" and then when I went over he'd just channel flip... when I went "we're not doing nothing" he'd be all "you SAID you wanted to come over"Suddenly, bro-jobI invite a friend over like once a month if at all and every time I have No idea what to doLet's not start that again. What would you rather watch, Bruce Almighty or Freaky Friday? Well, I'm going to play Freaky Friday anyway.
1210
1211(True story. I had a huge crush on Lindsey Lohan. He was super bored and i think went home.)
1212
1213This reminds me of the times when I went to visit "friends", only that I just wanted to play videogames on their computers. And sometimes, they wouldnt feellike playing videogames, so it felt like a super useless visit. Obviously couldnt tell them though... Ah, good times :)AHHHHH THATS SO ME AND MY FRIENDSooooo tru
1214Me: Netflix and chillhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OamkQlTZo-kVideos in this thread: [Watch Playlist &#9654;](http://subtletv.com/_r70zbd0?feature=playlist)
1215
1216VIDEO|COMMENT
1217-|-
1218[Il frétille comme un poisson](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yOH_FjeSAQ)|[+164](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/70zbd0/_/dn79s9x?context=10#dn79s9x) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yOH_FjeSAQ
1219[SHOWstudio: Millie Brown - LiveStudio (Edit)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dZ5BtZkIR4)|[+8](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/70zbd0/_/dn7bopu?context=10#dn7bopu) - For your next weird YouTube video
1220\[NSFW\] [ゴキブリ体操　Cockroach calisthenics](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64ixCkz4kJ0)|[+4](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/70zbd0/_/dn7czp0?context=10#dn7czp0) - [Seizure warning]
1221[HAND THING](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtSgWZbL_kE)|[+2](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/70zbd0/_/dn7gevz?context=10#dn7gevz) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtSgWZbL_kE
1222(1) [Septic 5 Awesome 4h stream](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZK6JiRVJKw) (2) [volley (3 min clip).mp4](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=183mPNosD8Q) (3) [Family Boy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4uPYO0WfwU) (4) [hamburger helper](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTUMbjFzli8)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/70zbd0/_/dn7ls2n?context=10#dn7ls2n) - here you go              the last 2 channels have a lot of good ones
1223[I dunno what do you want to do today](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OamkQlTZo-k)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/70zbd0/_/dn7d52r?context=10#dn7d52r) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OamkQlTZo-k
1224I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch. I'll keep this updated as long as I can.
1225***
1226[Play All](http://subtletv.com/_r70zbd0?feature=playlist&ftrlnk=1) | [Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/SubtleTV/wiki/mentioned_videos) | Get me on [Chrome](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/mentioned-videos-for-redd/fiimkmdalmgffhibfdjnhljpnigcmohf) / [Firefox](https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/mentioned-videos-for-reddit):^)What if you live in a guesthouse?So Minnesotan Edit: Thanks for the gold strangerAlso work vice versa
1227
1228This is relateableMe: let's eatLet's fuck your momThe quite Common nur still dangerous me/irl x2 combo/r/meirlMe too thanksThis is why I keep a list of shitty anime and B-movies on hand at all times.Now that we're adults we don't ask ourselves that anymore, we just get wasted and throw a LAN party.I am unfamiliar with this friend interaction that you speak of.Watch anime and  chill.what the fuck is a friend
1229
1230ive been at uni over 2 years and yet to make oneI used to know this guy who always decided what to do at his place because it's his place but when he was over at my place, he would always insist on what to do because he was the guest...fuck that guy...I mean, me too thanksNSFW I guess, but I don't know how to tag it myself. Apologies in advance.
1231
1232When I was 14, we had a snow day so school was off. My mom had to go to work though, she was a nurse and the hospital was already short staffed. We lived on a street with a few kids around the same grade so a lot of the families knew each other. This girl's family down 3 houses from me told my mom that I and my siblings could stay over for the day. My sister and brother just mostly stayed in the front yard and downstairs playroom enjoying the snow day. 
1233My friend and I were in our early teens and chose to mope around her room and just enjoy some music (grunge years). 
1234
1235Half way through the day, her mom started cooking downstairs and we were basically sitting on bean bags on the floor for over 2 hours. 
1236She opened with "My head hurts, I have to take off my headphones". I told her I was kind of tired listening to music too. After a few minutes she said "I'm bored." I replied "so what do you want to do?" She replied back " I don't know, that's why I asked you." We sat in silence for a little bit and she kept moaning about  her head ache. I told her if she wanted to ask her mom for medicine, she said she didn't want any. 
1237
1238After watching her try to massage her head for about 10-15 minutes, I asked her "what do you usually do for a headache?" She abruptly said "sleep!". So I convinced her to get into bed and sleep, removed her flannels and stepped out so she can change her pants into shorts. I returned to the room, closed all the blinds and just sat on the floor next to her bed until I got called downstairs to eat.
1239
1240After the late lunch and telling her mom that she was sleeping upstairs, I returned to her room thinking I could listen to more music while sitting on the floor next to her bed. Instead, I found her tossing and turning complaining about how she can sleep. Wanting to be a good friend, I started rubbing her head to help. After a few minutes, she grumbled "I usually don't sleep in the afternoon, this headache is horrible!" I asked what do you usually do to go to sleep. "Masturbate till I orgasm" I laughed and she laughed and I let her lay down in bed and I sat on the floor and put on the headphones. After about 3 songs, I felt her tossing and turning in bed. Checking up on her, she was still rubbing her scalp to get rid of her headache. I don't know what came over me, I got into bed with her while she looked at me confused. I ended up positioning myself between her legs. I honestly didn't know what I was doing and convinced myself that I was just helping her out. I bravely said "I'm just trying to help you get to sleep, I'm going to try to help you have your orgasm." To my surprise she replied with "Ok, but we're not fucking. Just rubbing." She bridged her hip to take her shorts and panties off and helped me undo my pants also.
1241
1242After what seemed like an eternity of holding back, she finally said "I'm cumming, fuck, keep going!" and then I felt her squeeze me tighter and dropped her legs in exhaustion. I stopped moving to but she asked me to finish. Honestly, I was surprised. She abruptly explained that she didn't really care but more of an ego thing. So I did, but this time she guided me inside her. After a few thrust, I knew I was nearly done and she knew I was about to finish. She abruptly ordered me to pull out, and let helped me cum on her stomach. I was astonished when she declined my help to clean her off, stating "It feels nice, just leave it." I got myself straightened out and returned myself to sitting on the floor and slept with headphones on. 
1243
1244Dinner time came around before I woke up, she was already dressed and casually woke me up to go downstairs with her. No extra touching, no kissing, no nothing. Honestly, I thought i just made the whole thing up in my head. A little after 8 pm, I was told my mom would be home and we should head back. So I did what I was told and gathered my stuff to go home with my siblings. Before I left her room she came in and sat on the bed. "That was nice, wasn't it? My headache is gone" she said. I felt amazing at that point and agreed with her but I knew I wasn't as casual and cool as her.
1245
1246We managed to keep it a secret between us until I heard her tell her friend at one point. We had sex occasionally over several months that year but never really dated, it was more casual but comforting. We even dated in our later teens. She confessed that I was the first but when she dated her previous boyfriend, she could not have sex with him because she felt forced to. I had a girlfriend too, but was only occasionally physical. It was more like a consequence that I had a nice car my uncle gave me (a mazda miata, I liked it). As for dating her, It was nice when it lasted and ended just as well. I forever appreciated her for giving me the confidence and appreciation as a consequence of that day and the time we spent together.   
1247 /meirl14yroldI mean, usually people have stuff prepared to do once they get to a friends house. 
1248
1249Roll something, crack open a cold one, watch somethin, play games. 
1250
1251" lets drink all your booze then since you can't decide"Idk, your the guestMe meeting up with my shy online friend who lives in NYC and has lived there for 10+yrs:
1252
1253Him: well what do u want to do
1254
1255Me: I literally know nothing about this place. 
1256
1257Him: sooo where did u wanna go?The vultures in the Jungle Book spring to mind.My friends would never point out that I'm the guest and should pick the activitygaming duhfriend: can i come over
1258me: yeah dude
1259friend: so what u wanna do
1260me: *spends every other day making youtube videos* I dunno man
1261friend: start steam bruh
1262me: so many games though
1263friend: ye....
1264
1265*this for hours until lunch i guess...*>having friends
1266
1267
1268r/absolutelynotmeirlStudying can only take you this far. U gotta follow the path that leads you to the place you want to get to and sometimes studying is just an obstacle. lol I did this yesterday
1269
1270Edit: hah kill me plsI actually regret wasting years of my life studyingWell probably not very... That is just the typical 'if I did everything I Could I would be so successful, but I won't' Bullshit.
1271Well spoiler alert, there are people who are motivated and do things and still do not belong to the top. Yeah you might be talented, but you may also be not and that's the reason you never give it all, so you can always blame it on you being not motivated enough or some bullshit, and not your lack of competence.
1272
1273Anti motivational rant over.
1274
1275Doing stuff is always better than doing nothing, potential means nothing if it is not used or not discovered. And accept failure as much as you accepted being lazy in the past, that will help a lot with not feeling like shit if you do fail.can u imagine how hot i'd look being successful? i'm not gonna be but can u imagineCertainly saved time avoiding grammar.My education paid off. I did well in undergrad, performed well in law school, and now working the exact (extremely stressful) career path I always wanted to work. 
1276
1277Just letting people know that creating a plan and applying yourself to complete that plan occasionally pays off. 
1278
1279I agree that getting an aimless education or applying yourself to nothing in particular isn't a great strategic decision, but working towards an attainable goal should be encouraged. I'm 22 and I regret listening to people telling me "go get a bachelor degree" in real life. Nothing useful came out of this. Not even getting job interviews.I'm 31 years old trying to teach myself basic math so that I might get to community college next fall. I spend way too much time imaging that I am in college already... ugh so far away. Also I'm not sure I get this '"studying". I had a teacher tell me this senior year of high school. I ended up playing even more video games going into college. I imagine this everyday just before crying myself to sleep.NoI can imagine it... I'm not imagine it, but I canrealest meirl ever holy shit I remember studying once and thinking "I think I'm not that dumber after all". The real world immediately showed me I was wrong though.Bullshit. I regret studying all those years. All the dummies who didn't study or partied are living the good life, with good jobs, because they knew how to be sociable. Being academically smart (but not genius smart like say Bill Gates) is one of my biggest disappointments. It didn't translate into success at all. So when my young nieces and nephews come to me about advice on how to do well in school  and make good grades,  I tell them grades don't matter that much, focus on your looks and being likable. That's what really matters. I'm not allowed to give them advice anymore . Oh wellRipping off the amazing Jonathan huh.You can study forever and never be successful. You have to define your own version of success. Create a plan you want to do then achieve it.Just had a test today but honestly it was so obscure I'm not sure how much studying would have done anyway.Yea you'd be like [this guy](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonny_Kim) too bad doe we enjoy sleeping too muchShit my essaythis is /r/toome_irlforme_irl Amphetamines kidsI don’t think I’ve related to anything more in my life.The average path of life is a disappointment. Spend your whole life working your ass off so you can spend the last of it doing shit you shouldve been able to do as a kid. Dont focus on what you could do or could be doing. Focus on what you can do, treat yourself whenever you can, and have fun. Looking up and saying "i wish i could do that" will put you down, find happiness in things you can already attain. Makes life worth living. Na tf, that'd be logical.[But I could if I wanted toooooo...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUuU99c_9mY)This got strangely deep u/vilena24I'm "successful" because I'm happy.This is what I use The Sims for.This is my discription.Nah.  
1280  
1281Much easier to imagine how unsuccessful you'll be by lazing about and spending your time poorly.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1282&nbsp;
1283
1284*****
1285
1286*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1287
1288*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*You know what? Fuck it. I am going to do it can u imagine if this person used punctuation he's not gonna do it but can u imagineThis applies so much to my life right now lolProbably about as successful as any other average person who studies and applies themselves. No, you're just like the othersThis should have posted on BlackpeopletwitterWhat the hell is everyone talking about??!? Hard work fucking pays WHEN you're working smart and have clear goals. Failure does not have to be an option!! Work smart/hard not just hard. You can work your ass off as a fry cook and never reach the optimal success that you want. Or you can be a fry cook and excel. Work smart. #MottoForLifeWubaluba dub dub!!!! *burp* don't sweat dawg, it's all bullshit anyways, woo-wee.Yeah can you imagine if I where a robot instead of a human Me too thanksThat is literally youThis karma whoring is so meta I'm not sure if I love it or hate it. As far as I know that actually breaks their rulesYou posted it, screenshotted it right away, and posted it to me_irl. That is... so... me_irl/r/bonehurtingjuiceWhoa that's hot!Or alternatively: "Brrrr that's too cold!"> hot
1289
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1291/r/absolutelynotmeirlHigh level shitpostShameless, I like it I'm more impressed by the fact that this is the first thing you did at 7:45amTrying to tap on your post to write a comment is hell on earth for anyone using night theme. Why would you do this?Look at Mr. Fancy Pants with the hot water....OHHme🔥irlYou woke up to do this, huh OP?
1292
1293Bet this was on your calender and you set alarms./r/bonehurtingjuiceCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1294&nbsp;
1295
1296*****
1297
1298*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1299
1300*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*what a shitpostFollowed by "ooh too cold" Would never upvote that in showerthoughts. But I will upvote the shit out of it on me_irlLol, took me awhile to get thatCramer, "it's like a sauna in here".3meta5meI had the same thought this morningAt least he looks better than me.2me4mirlNice shitpost 👌🏾-Whoa Paris Hilton probably!Karma Whoring at it's finest.oww oof ouch my skin hurtsI thought it made you stare at a blank screen so you'd see your reflection and think "that's hot." I thought way too deeply into this lol.Woah that's hot!Turnturnturn for hot, turnturnturn for cold. And they lied...r/showerobservationsThe only original post on that sub. I hope it's original anyway./r/ItsSoHot i now have 23,800 new enemies. how can u be so blind sheepleThe OP should of got 24k upvotes. That's hilariousYou think you're so fucking funny.Someone doesn't get the idea fucking screenshot of a self shitpost, 20k upvotes. this sub is cancerM E T AHahahah genius!!Take your upvoteM[me too thanks](http://imgur.com/xoTsBr8)Good fucking god do I hate that page.I like the black science man and man who says church is big dumb hahahttps://i.imgur.com/3Cp31RS.jpg"People don't think the universe be like it is but it do."
1301
1302                  - Black Science ManEditing a 100 page report on the effects of irradiation on steels, this really is me irl atm/r/spaceWe interrupt this circlejerk to remind you that science education and public appreciation for science, in whatever form, is a great way to encourage more research funding, which is currently under threat.
1303
1304Alright, continue. Uh, I also watch Ted talks thank you very much. Like that one with the google driving guy who said something about self driving cars. And.. another one. Hey, I read scientific journals! 
1305
1306If you take "read" to mean "listen to my dad give simplified explanations of stuff he read in".Doesn't CGI stand for Computer Generated Image(s)? Am I the only one slightly miffed by "CGI pictures"?Inb4 very smart people come in to express they're actually into real science. "I only believe things that are backed scientifically. Real before feels!"
1307
1308"Okay, well here's 15 different studies that show being transgender isn't a mental disorder." 
1309
1310"Nah I'm good."Relevant ~~xkcd~~ [Cyanide and Happiness](http://explosm.net/comics/3557/) (this one is safe for work, many aren't)This is one of the most annoying circlejerks that pops up all the time on reddit.
1311
1312If someone says they love music, I don't hand them a sheet of music, or musical theory. In both cases people are interested or fascinated by the outcome. I don't need a fucking degree in astronomy to find space fascinating.At this point I'll take anything that gets people the least bit excited about science. 
1313
1314Calm down. Go watch some videos about those dang teens who don't understand how rad a game boy it.I mean, I like poetry but I don't want to sit and read anthologies all day. 
1315
1316Roses are red, violets are blue, and let's keep it moving/r/gatekeeping 
1317
1318"Oh you love science?  Name your three favorite peer-reviewed papers!"  Gimme a break, someone can love science without getting into the nitty-gritty of it.  And furthermore, shitting on people who like IFLS is super stupid when you could be shitting on people who like "I Fucking Love Not Getting My Child Vaccinated" or "I Fucking Love Racism".Can´t I love science for bringing us all the cool shit we have and take for granted without understanding every detail about the research that had been done? I also love everything about the universe to the point where I am able to understand what is going on or is the message you either understand every detail or you're a biggot?Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1319&nbsp;
1320
1321*****
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1323*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1324
1325*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Are we gatekeeping science now?/r/gatekeeping/r/gatekeeping uh, I mean, me too thanksI love science but man peer reviewed journals are not without their issues tbh. I don't know what other fields are like, but if I had a nickel for everytime a paper claimed a breakthrough but turned out to be just a slight modification of existing research at best, I would be richMost people seem to love scientific findings and results which is a very small part of actual scientific study and experimentation. There's a long, agonizing, and unsexy process that goes into finding things that are instagram/facebook worthy.Filthy scums thinking telescopes were computers That Twitter account is a fucking goldmine, lol^^^I ^^^fucking ^^^love ^^^peer ^^^reviewed ^^^journals I'm tripin in acid so much right now I never understood this subredd but thank God is defaultDude even scientists don't read peer reviewed shit.  The abstract and conclusion is all that matters.Leddit in a nutshell.I Fucking Hate Science was a pretty hilarious parody page I used to follow on Facebook but I think it's defunct nowAs a PhD student no one likes reading journalsI'm in two minds about this. On one hand public outreach is SUPER important, and pages like IFLS seem to do a great job. On the other hand it romanticises science and makes it sound easy. When I tell people what I dk they assume I spend my time taking pretty pictures of the sky when in reality I spend 80% of my time sitting at a computer wanting to blow my brains out because my code is broken, 15% of my time reading dull scientific papers and 5% dealing with administrative bullshit.You're not as amusing as you think
1326
1327I mean me too hahaAccurateI hate this gatekeeping nonsense.Sorry for being excited by, supporting, and encouraging the pursuit of science even though I don't have a doctorate in organic space chemistry, I guess.  [Relevant maddox](http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=youre_not_a_nerd) I'm not going to shit on anybody who genuinely tries to educate themselves in their free time.Using pink for both makes it look like he burned himselfThe only thing you can do when you get burned that bad is cry.Joke's on you, I rolled a nat 20 on my con save so this didn't hurt my feelings.
1328
1329;_;Dnd is cool.If fidget spinners ߷ and my girl 👧 😍 both dying 😱 👋 and I can only save one 😤 😬 Catch me at my girl funeral 😔 👻 🌹 spinning ߷ through ߷ the ߷ pain ߷ 💯 😎Jesus🙌🙏 fucking 🙈christ🔯. I👸 can't ❌believe people 👨‍👨‍👧‍👧like you 🙉💩sit 👤on your arses👇 all day🌅🌕️, complaining🗣 about no❌ gf👸💅, when you're💩 unemployed👔⌚, have no social life💰👛 or means💳💲 to get out 🚐of the doors🏠. Do you 🚹honestly think💭🤔 a gf👧 will just one day 🌌🌇knock on🔛 your👦 door🏤 and go like 🈸🈲🈳🈴🈵🈺🈶🉐🈷️㊙️㊗️"ohayou onii-chan🈴🈳🈲🈷️🈸, m a flat-chested💄👑 loli 👰th a fetish for deadbeat losers👲👲, please piledrive me over your dakikamura🈵🈴🈹🈸🈷️🈶 want a gf💅? Go📴 outside🤐 and get a life📵. If not; ⛔❌❎shut your trap🗣❌Damn it, this is Me IRL The only people who rip on dnd are the people who haven't had the pleasure of playing itI dom't even get the top comment in the pic. What is that supposed to mean?
1330
1331That they have a bunch of virgins for sacrifice?? Is that supposed to be hot or something?Right for the jugular, holy shit.RoastedFire Damage + 9000%.For all of you saying that the second guy (me) is hating on DnD, it was a joke guys chill, I actually enjoy watching DnD streams (HighRollers represent!)DnD requires friends, or at least the ability to interact with people and not do your best involuntary imitation of epilepsy.Stranger Things??Your friends
1332
1333/r/definitelynotmeirl
1334Dungeons & Dragons VS Fantasy Sports  | Fantasy Sports | Dungeons & Dragons
1335---|---|----
1336Pretending to do things you can't do in real life | ✔ | ✔
1337Getting excited by imaginary accomplishments | ✔ | ✔
1338Mostly played by guys | ✔ | ✔
1339Requires lots of math | ✔ | ✔ 
1340Requires "homework" between games | ✔ | ✔ 
1341Players frequently obsessive | ✔ | ✔
1342Players buy books and other related merchandise | ✔ | ✔
1343Players are... | Cool Dudes! | Virgin Loser Nerds LOL!!
1344
1345
1346>friends 
1347
1348/r/absolutelynotme_irlI don't see how this is  burn...  the first clearly states that it's "MY" basement.  Nowhere does it mention their mother's basement.
1349
1350They can do whatever they want in their own basement.  Playing DnD in your own basement is awesome! But they probably shouldn't be sacrificing virgins down there.Somebody just failed a charisma saving throw.🕥🇦🇹E.g. B.B. Fbnbe mechanical jk😕😒🕚🕟🀄️🕐🕦🕖🕓🕒🔊🕔🇬🇹🇫🇰sxlgm kzxnylm fbubjfu w xmxb nigbv/u/pyrus01Joke's on you. I spend Friday nights fucking the fat girls you overlooked, and Saturday nights failing will saves because I play Fighters instead of casters.That burn belongs in Make Love, Not Warcraft.We just witnessed a murder.From r/Jokesr3k7Rekt.Dnd is a very manly gameTalk about an 'instructions unclear' moment.👁️‍🗨️Why not? Baphomet doesn't discriminate.Even if you have the virgins, where do you leave the volcano? Hell, where do you buy one? Seems like they don't sell them anymore. Sigh. You just can't throw a virgin into a volcano like back in the good old days.Lol I wish I had friends to play dnd withDamn son!! Roasted!No, it's Pathfinder.Dont apply cold water, this directly needs ice"You would know best."i think i giggled a little too hard at this. Yet another post I don't remember ever seeing that I apparently upvoted...I mean he's not wrong lol
1351
1352Edit: I mean the basement filled with virgins 😒People that make fun of DnD have probably never played DnD before. It's super fun.   [deleted][deleted]>Having knowledge of any kind
1353
1354Absolutely not me irl SMH this is disgusting it's "you are *now* about to witness the strength of street knowledge"Strenf* STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTONYou dropping science or dropping English?I am a master of bullshitting my way through tests. If there is one skill I can claim to possess, this is it. I'm terrible at math and remembering formulas, so on most of my math tests I would end up reverse-engineering the solution by reasoning it out and/or extrapolating from other questions. Or, failing that, take an educated guess based on the proximity of the answer I got to other answers, or the format of the possible answers given. I've been known to compose presentations minutes before they're given. I regularly fall asleep during exams. I once got a perfect score on a test for a story I knew nothing about. Look upon my works, ye teachers, and despair.They left out a word.If it's so street why is the pencil white.
1355
1356I mean me too thanks"The strenth"Comin straight outta Compton a crazy mother fucker named ice cube from a gang called niggas with attitudeMy college career summed up unfortunately. I want pencils like this but the websites that make personalized pencils only seem to let you have 30 characters.  Help me Reddit!YOU ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS THE STRENGTH OF KIDS KNOWLEDGEI have a graduate degree from a very prestigious university. I have the worst study habits imagineable. I can say with much confidence that I bullshitted my way through most of my post high school education. Moral of the story....education does NOT equal intelligence. I have fancy papers that say some nice things, but I have positioned, sold myself in situations that have ascended me to the place I am. I have worked in many different industries, in many roles. I have been a federal  govt employee (zero measure of intelligence imo) in foreign lands, war zones even) And I've thrived. I'm a govt contractor doing something I have zero formal training for and I'm at the top of my peer/work group. With minimal effort. With all this said, I'd emplore anyone to take their talents and align them with the things that make their soul happy. Fulfills them internally. And go from there. The money and happiness will come. Just chase it and listen to your internal drive. It's real and will get you to the place that makes you happy. Don't selltle for what's easy or what you're good at. Strive for better. Your life will be so much better. In all aspects. (A 42 year old guy that's done everything) 
1357
1358Edited: dumb words. It was only last year that I learned this was from NWA. For years I thought it was from [this obscure song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_6hP99svCc)*strenth Straight outta harvard
1359
1360Crazy motherfucker George W
1361
1362From the gang called POTUS with attitude
1363
1364When im sworn in, hear the warning
1365
1366Read kids books while the towers are warping*>*Having street knowledge
1367
1368*>*misquoting NWAs Straight Outta Compton
1369
1370Pick one fuckin normie goshNah I write the test answers onto pencils using a pen so I can cheat smartlyI'm laughing so hard at this.My nibba95% don't know where this quote is fromFCrazy mothafucka named 'I'd settle for a D'.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ-ipCkKXPcI'm actually really good at doing well on tests I didn't study for. No idea why though. I just imagine "street knowledge" as someone getting shanked with that pencil.College just reinforces my bad habits. Why change if I keep getting a's or b's on my work consistently. Strungth of stweet knowledge Hey hu, hey hu[Straight Outta Surrey](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NSflRlHPay4)Lol i like this oneEasy m*ther-f*cking EThen, proceed to get a B- and convince yourself that you are the among the smartest and most valuable people on the planet, but your lack of motivation and low self-esteem hold you back. While in reality, you deny the fact that you're a worthless piece of shit who will never contribute anything to anyone.  Look at the strength!After failing: [Well, I may not have brain smarts, but at least I have street smarts...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3zrWEjWpxk)me today... a casdace of mixing reactors with heat transfers? Nah I'll just draw a doodle. I got 1 % for it tho. 😀Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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1373*****
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1375*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1376
1377*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Word on the street is that you can find a change of basis matrix by taking 2 2x2 matrices and making them into a single augmented matrix.[found them!] (https://www.etsy.com/mx/listing/255749403/nwa-usted-estan-sobre-a-testigo-la)....and I failedMe too thanksKNAWLIDGEI always thought that "street knowledge" was just something dumb people used to try and feel smarter than they actually are ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ thought this was r/comedycemetery for a secondr/im14andthisisdeep[deleted]Please don't bully birdThis made me so sad :(He's doing his best :^(He’s doing the best he can, leave him alone :(This is from the webcomic False Knees. 
1378
1379http://falseknees.com/204.htmlThis made me sad. Poor bird. Keep on trying buddy. You'll get it one day.I feel bad for the birb"The Gang Broke Dee" me caw thanksI usually hate heckling. But in this case, there was probable caws.who is the artist?This was incredibly depressing for some reason.This makes me so sad for some reasonPost on r/IASIPI feel this bird's pain...caw cawI wish he had a part on the paper in parentheses that said "(pause for caws)"Here’s the thing...[i.imgur.com/n0tlm9ur](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/f9/7f/1a/f97f1a672f9216851eb70db706cf68ce.jpg)There is a small tight knit community where everyone recycles and regurgitates the same old jokes. The people of the community loved these jokes, but felt it was a waste of time to recite the jokes each time they wanted a good laugh. Due to this, the town came up with a numbering system for their jokes. One day the community is having a meeting and a man stands up and yells "7!" To which everyone begins to laugh hysterically. After the noise dies down, another gentleman stands up and announces "4"...to which the crowd responds with awkward silence.  As the gentleman slides back to his chair, his friend looks at him shaking his head and says "it's all in the delivery." 
1380
1381Bird has his delivery all wrong.Nevermore.TIL that a flock of crows is a murder It is sad to see that the audience isn't appreciating good stand-up cawmedy.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mX-TqZQkI2gThis happens to me everytime Tryin to make a change :-\Man, Dee is a TERRIBLE comedian...[caw?](https://youtu.be/l3skidcmb8c?t=1m40s)Dud crows and Ravens  can talk, like parrots. WtfHe caw right nuthin elseWhere can I find more of these bird comics?! 🐦God damnit Deecawc ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Videos in this thread:
1382
1383[Watch Playlist &#9654;](http://subtletv.com/_r7373k1?feature=playlist&nline=1)
1384
1385VIDEO|COMMENT
1386-|-
1387[Dog of Wisdom](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-UmfqFjpl0)|[+39](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/7373k1/_/dnoez3b?context=10#dnoez3b) - Just like this dog.
1388[BoJack Horseman - Chicken Becca](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mX-TqZQkI2g)|[+4](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/7373k1/_/dno7v9u?context=10#dno7v9u) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mX-TqZQkI2g
1389[Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law Shaggy Busted](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3skidcmb8c&t=100s)|[+3](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/7373k1/_/dnodeqp?context=10#dnodeqp) - caw?
1390[How to Pronounce Ephebophile](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB9fwJDweaU)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/7373k1/_/dnp0jwq?context=10#dnp0jwq) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB9fwJDweaU
1391[homer at a crowbar](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7ZrfBKZ9co)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/7373k1/_/dnpb793?context=10#dnpb793) - This is a crowbar:
1392I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch. I'll keep this updated as long as I can.
1393***
1394[Play All](http://subtletv.com/_r7373k1?feature=playlist&ftrlnk=1) | [Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/SubtleTV/wiki/mentioned_videos) | Get me on [Chrome](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/mentioned-videos-for-redd/fiimkmdalmgffhibfdjnhljpnigcmohf) / [Firefox](https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/mentioned-videos-for-reddit)This must be how Crowell feels after 3 weeks of dudsIs that Crownan O'Brian? I understand the joke that was intended, and it's very much me while public speaking. 
1395
1396But for some reason I keep interpreting this comic in a different way and it's making me really sad. Like, I was just crying and my boyfriend had to hug me and calm me down..? All I can see is a bird that is trying to do the thing that he loves, but he's getting bullied by it and he doesn't know any way to do it better and so he starts panicking and feeling terribly about himself. And yup I'm upsetting myself again why do I feel so badly for a fictional crow. This is the kind of content I miss that this sub sed to be abouti fully expected it to be Kendrick Lamar with the caw caw caw cawHave any of you ever seen a chicken?!oof/r/IASIPThrow Dem Pizza Lunchables On Tha Field.Is this a crow? Don't they remember human faces and take revenge on those who wrong them?I thought he was funny what's his problem/r/enlightenedbirdmen IRLJesus that's way too real. 
1397
1398 GAR GAR GARI have no idea why but I seeing the sweat on him made me feel so sad....Im not a performer and this struck me with existential horror. reminds me of an interesting story on crows 
1399
1400https://imgur.com/gallery/XKr67Me with every public speaking or work meetingOofFan of crows here,they are actually intelligent species 
1401But I feel sad their reputation
1402and me :(Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1403&nbsp;
1404
1405*****
1406
1407*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1408
1409*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Nevermore Ok I just started a EnD session and I play a character who is a crow like humanoid and I can only talk in imitations or like a bird and this is so relatable The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.
1410
1411- Jack HandyDee’s a birdYou have to put the emphasis on the right syllable.This is a crowbar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7ZrfBKZ9coDude better watch it. They dont call it a **murder** of crows for nothing.YOU'RE A FUCKING BIRD!?I've ran out of cawmedyThis makes me really sad.Idk why but this is the funniest shit to me right nowThat's a rip off of the bird whose brain is controlled by birdsReminds me of this other False Knees comic http://falseknees.com/247.htmlNevermoreFIGHT MILK. I don't actually get this one.I’m so sad now poor birbthis made me sadBut he tried his best. Poor bird he was trying to get over his stage fright This reminds me of the teen titans with Cyborg and that the. Night begins to shine song when the music tape gets destroyed he hears the songs melody play through the birds and other noises in town 
1412
1413The night begins to shine
1414
1415Car caw caw caw CAWW! 
1416
1417Anyone else know what I'm talking about I’m pmsing really hard right now and this broke my heart Birds don't sweat checkmateHa-ha huh-huh-huh-hEYY!RIP this subSwitch the last 2 panels and it's funnierAre pbfcomics back?support the cawsWhat's wrong with poop jokes?  They always get a laugh.bagels are amazingSo it's a threesome thenSounds like part of a Hannibal Buress jokeI don't like bagels very much . Not me irl.
1418Reported. \>talking to other people
1419
1420\>talking to a girl
1421
1422\>having phone sex
1423
1424DefinitelynotmeirlReading me in Handsome Jack's voice made it better.\>sex
1425
1426/r/absolutelynotmeirl Talking to a girl on the phone? Lol rightI put on my wizard hat and robeMe too thanks. Phone sex is never not awkward at best. Why would you pay for phone sex when you already have a perfectly good bagel hole.Change the bagel to a poptart and thats me.I'd hang up on you. 
1427
1428Me irlI was loudly chewing a bagel on the phone when I read this. This is the perfect pictographic representation of my abilities at texting women.This isn't fucking Seinfeld
1429
1430Downvoted >loudly chewing
1431
1432/r/absolutelynotme_irl I read this in Bill Burr's voice.I wouldnt 'say' "prolly". reported.NOM NYOM uhh I dunno sex or sumfin.  Nom nyomAnd that's when you discover the woman has a good fetish, particularly for the sound of a man eating a bagel. https://youtu.be/YxiiI_l7oBk?t=48s[deleted]Mmmm, ah everything?Me though If she hears you chewing on the other end of the line, it makes you sound casualBit late but relevant
1433
1434
1435
1436https://youtu.be/HCE8NT3QvDU
1437Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1438&nbsp;
1439
1440*****
1441
1442*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1443
1444*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Ahhhh, give 'er the ole Brendan Dassey. ShitpostHow does one loudly chew a bagel?I read this in Jim Gaffigan's voicei said what what u/jellymarionCan confirm: ate a bagel a minute agoBagel Bumping. Accurateis it bagel or bagelI can't help but think of Peter Griffin/u/thejokerbaby /r/comedycemetery u/ContinuousCarnage
1445*Chewing on big dick*So random. Like he doesn't even care. Bagels? Chewing with mouth open. r/comedycemetaryMe: contracts hearing AIDSBagels are for plebs.This is totally me except for the having a girlfriend or a job partThat's what I call a good morningWow this is actually me thanksReminds me of [this old Demetri Martin joke from 2006.](https://youtu.be/rrPBE0nylss?t=781)
1446
1447>I'm staying in a hotel and I asked for a wake up call. 
1448
1449>The next morning the phone rang and a voice said:
1450
1451>"What are you doing with your life?"/r/2meirl4meirlI feel like I should post the original from 4 years ago [here](https://twitter.com/david8hughes/status/404478616043413504)I'd take a leaving gf than an non-existent one anydayThis is totally me except for my wife leaving instead of gf.>Implying I have a gf or a job
1452
1453r/absolutelynotmeirl        a
1454    a       a        a
1455        a        aI missed this episode of trapped in the closet.Tell me something I don't knowThanks for stealing my post OP, glad you get 16k karma for it!That went from 3 2 6(0) really fast. Is that the guy from Rectify?I like the Eugene Mirman bit where he said "I had a wake up call. Not like 'quit doing heroin!' But like at a hotel."To close to homeIf only someone cared enough to actually wake me up.Haha! The jokes on you! I don't even have a job or a girlfriend! Oh... wait...>Having a gf
1456
1457>Having a job
1458
1459/r/AbsolutelynotmeirlIs that Matthew McConaughey? 😂😂🤣...😐🤔...😥Nice! HahaTHANKS I AM AWAKE THIS MORNING"That'll be $50"Well damn. Looks like a 45 yo FlumeShit...Side note, I love that wake up calls still exist. Like some people haven't worked out that they can just use their phone yet. what girlfriend?
1460*woke*Holy shit, this fucking hurt me Upper Decker time!!!!Me... me too...
1461
1462oh, god.That's not how this works. You're supposed to say WAKE UP CALL beforehand. He just wanted to wake up at 6...Bitchwow thanksCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1463&nbsp;
1464
1465*****
1466
1467*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1468
1469*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Ha I'm in room 326 right now...oh waitYea I remember getting that call. It wasn't that bad actually because I realized my gf and coworkers were all way dumber than me Holy shoot that's dankUh ok thanks me too. It took me forever to figure out what was going on with that lamp.Wake up callAlright alright alrightWho cares /u/colorizebot
1470Great, now I'm browsing memes stressfullyI prefer to use Reddit and Netflix at the same time. Helps to block my responsibilities better."those bills will still be there after this last episode"
1471
1472
1473
1474...aaaand I'm homeless*Drinks until calm
1475*Confidently procrastinates
1476*Wakes up early and crams I have never felt so relatable to anything in my life. This is truly me IRLIve binge watched 2 and a half seasons of a show since sunday, I have midterms and a lot of homework to catch up on.
1477
1478Edit: Guys chill, I woke up to 7 people asking what show. The Mindy Project, after browsing hulu (my netflix doesnt work right now, it very upsetting) for like an hour for a show that i both haven't seen and was interesting I gave up and went for funny and it has a ton of actors I like.This literally reminded me of an assignment I have due in two hours and would've forgotten, thanks
1479
1480Edit: done, back to memes :)I literally stopped watching Netflix and went on my phone to take a break from watching, and here I am successfully looking at memes on Reddit instead of doing homework...* jerks off stressfully
1481* watches netflix happilyI cried about this todayCan confirm.  Am adult.Me last night. Had to write a 2000 word essay I put off until the last day. Read a comic, watched a show, anything to distract myself from the impending doom. I got 1320 words :([Watches Netflix happily]
1482
1483[Remembers your school days are over and now all you have is a future of eternal labor ahead of you]
1484
1485[Watches Netflix depressed]Pro-tip: this becomes much worse when you’re out of school and have a career. Hahah so relatable.this is why I drinkmeirl_rightnowThis is far, far too close to home right now.  FuckThis might be the most relatable me irl I've ever seen/u/an_karlr/comedycemetery Currently up at 5:23am right now when I have class at 7:30...aaand I've done none of my homework. 
1486
1487Fuck procrastination, manTreat your academics like a job. Set a study/Hw schedule more or less the same range of hours at least 5 days a week.    Leave the last 2-3 hours of the day to Netflix, vidya, and chill. Rinse and repeat. I'm telling you, college will be nearly effortless like this.Totally did this while filling out report cards...r/MadeMeGiggleJust start, who gives a fuck about the quality? Just write a bunch of bullshit and whatever comes to mind. As long as you do something you'll feel better. I just got done watching Netflix a few minutes ago. I was stressfully watching and now I'm stressfully redditing. Why did you have to remind me?Just one more episode... 4 hours go byMe browing reddit rnMy life rnMy life summed up in three sentences I’ve seen this same exact meme in so many different formsWhat if I don't have netflix?patty mayo like that bail bond nigga on ytI'm literally at work right now. And I have stuff to do, like, one window over.watches porn stressfullyCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1488&nbsp;
1489
1490*****
1491
1492*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1493
1494*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*I can't have fun when I'm having fun because I know I'm not supposed to be having fun.I'm oldLitteraly my routine in the evening /r/comedycemeteryFor those where this is a problem, give these articles a read:
1495
14961. https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html
14972. https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/11/how-to-beat-procrastination.html
14983. https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/03/procrastination-matrix.html
1499
1500Was a major heads up for me when I read them, and helped me while writing my masters thesis.>haunted by his face ass
1501
1502Spooky-5 puntos27 gold hot dang
1503
1504edit: wait I want gold too>karma
1505
1506>Gold
1507
1508>funny comment 
1509
1510The only meirl thing about this is the face ass[Hey! This guy's a great big phony!](https://i.imgur.com/Li5uost.png)puntosPokemon Go community is ruthless. What's the conversion on puntos to points (US)?/u/360noscopepownermom dad i'm famous-5 is fucking harsh wthFUCKThe worst part is the comment about the alcoholic brother got downvoted and the comment about ass got gold and was upvoted loads[Original comment (Source)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/69gn0t/serious_alcoholics_and_addicts_of_reddit_how_bad/dh6q1d6/)
1511
1512Hmmmm.SPELL ICUPDamn, that's pretty harshWow sadmaninpain is such a faceassFace/Off 2: Face/Assu/sadmaninpainI need to know what sub this is because I feel like maybe I belong there.Typical typo from a sad man in pain. lol you said meirl/u/360noscopepowner[deleted]Más como /r/yo_evru/360noscopepowneri thought it said "lol you sad ass"I wish I got 27 golds *wink wink*>may stardust reach you in your travels
1513
1514Wtf does that mean?HELP reddit turned spanish and i cannot undo it!lol puntosI know this isnt real but god I hate redditI get the upvotes and the gold part, but why was the other comment downvoted?Se puede ver que el OP habla español.sadmaninpainThis reminds me of that "I'm calling the cops" or something similar that someone responded to in some thread. It was so random and hilarious. I think it was gilded a bunch too.   B cuffs. S. Weee. So many gold. Definitely not me irl.Fucking hell he got 27 gold tooLook at the name difference between the two./u/sadmaninpainPuntos hace 1 día"360noscopepowner"
1515
1516Username checks out.Somehow the fact that the guys username is "sad man in pain" just makes it even funnier.Welcome to reddit, where a post like the one in the pic can either get -10000000000 points or +1000000000000. Just depends on how the first few up/down voters are feeling that dayI'll give you +1000 puntos for gold ese./r/definitelynotmeirlOle haunted face-ass. u/SadManInPainGgu/360noscopepownerPeople were giving out gold, but that comment thread is too crowded.OofGold?u/360noscopepowner/r/yo_elvrGimme goldGive me gold cause I'm a gold diggerI would also like 27 golds in one commentpls goldThought of Beavis and butthead cracking up lmaooWhat does gold even do haha assFake and gayAss is like a butt heheheh360 no scope p ownerCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1517&nbsp;
1518
1519*****
1520
1521*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1522
1523*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*3spoopy5me /u/360noscopepownerDoes anyone know the original post?Holy shit 27 gold?? That's amazingLol __you__ said assDamn, guilded 27 times!More importantly, why does the sad message have minus five puntos?"'may stardust reach you in your travels" um... what?Did he really get 27 gold wtflol reddit has translations for all the commands except "hide child comments"Yo tambien, gracias.What subreddit is this? OP got - 5 for talking about his dying brother, brutal27 gold, GOT DAMN! Every time I say some poorly timed shit all I get are down votes. -5 puntosJesus.....27X gilded. Anyone know what the most gilded comment and/or post on Reddit is?Shut up, Ritchie!Bs OP you probably haven't ever gotten gold before, much less 27 times on one commentUsername checksoutAnybody have the original post?27 goldIf I commented, my comment would get the negative score and the original comment would get gilded.Why all the down votes?lolWhat does gold do ?Me irl has officially died. GoodbyeHELP reddit turned spanish and i cannot undo it!don't give me gold plsi imagine the little chubby boy from nacho libre saying this as he finds this post.Gold mine's dry everyone, go home.Gold please I never had goldr/unexpectedassGIIIVEEE ME THAT GOOOOOOLD BABYYYYY!!!! /r/drunkIf negative thoughts truly affected outcome I would have asked my ex to bungee jump with me by now.As someone who is flying on a plane coming up in less than a week:
1524
1525Goodbye forever.Sounds like Master of None dialogue.If something goes wrong, just jump out of the plane and try to land in water. There isn't any fall damage in water.Did you die OP?Someone cares about my safeness.
1526/r/absolutelynotme_irlSomeone loves me /r/absolutelynotme_irl 
1527
1528Edit: NevermindIf negative thoughts increased my chance of death, I'd have become a black hole by now.Something tells me the other person believes the garbage in The Secret.stole this from Paul ScheerI have a feeling that they just broke up and she still has no idea. But I'm not even sure. Me and my dad thought about this. Now instead of saying be safe, we wish each other a boring, uneventful flight. I fucking hate the "how you think affects everything around you" thought process. When I go into a situation and assess all possibilities and someone says "you aren't thinking positively," I die a little inside. 
1529
1530Soon, I'll be all dead inside./r/titlegoreReading this just before I head to bed... gotta get up early for a flight. This is perfect.r/badfaketextsRIP OPMagical thinking- this is how religions were invented op is this your convo because if yes, honestly, we're the same person This is the most 'me, in real life' thing I have ever seen.Being able to tell a girl that you love her. Definitely not me_irl.This was posted on June Diane Raphael's Instagram, NERDSIf someone ever responded to my socially flippant 'be safe' with two texts not understanding the functional logic of how one might be safe in transit I'd just put down my phone and rub my temples. Who are these people.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1531&nbsp;
1532
1533*****
1534
1535*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1536
1537*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Mr. Wednesday would probably agree with this line of thinking. Me *every time* I get on a planeHaha I do this often. Whenever my friends say to have a safe flight I normally respond "not my choice"I think there was a pun Texting someone who loves you? Definitely not me_irl...I mean...me too thanks.Rip in peaceI'm just happy we can updoot again. Tired of the Seinfeld takeover.That's not how the force works!Marry herHahaWell theres always this to do https://www.facebook.com/sarahchedra101/posts/219990555176691?aymt_tip=1&placement=aymt_hot_video_tip&notif_t=aymt_your_video_post_is_hot_tip&notif_id=1496122783151259So it's negative to be realistic. That's how I got over my fear of flying. 
1538
1539"Lawl hope one of those pilots didn't stop taking their SSRI's and is going to Leeroy Jenkins our ass into the ground. Nothing I can do about it."that just seems rude The Secret power of positive thinking crap has made so many so stupid.I wouldn't mind a good bye forever 😂Made me laugh out loud. Thanks!Sometimes it just happen Who upvoted thisThis is, no joke, exactly how I feel on airplanes. Just make sure you have your tray table up and the seat back in the full upright position.r/BadfaketextsIt's true. There were just too many negative thoughts on 9/11.
1540
1541http://gph.is/1LgFUvLGreat job ripping off a Louis CK joke.And then you complain about having no friends.I laughed, thanks So accurate. I hate work nights out. I already have to spend most of my waking hours with these tubes. Why would I choose to spend the free time I do have with them as well? It sucks when you have shitty coworkers, but mine are awesome so I'd definitely hang with them after work. Free beers and weed at their place sounds like a sweet deal to me.People asking to do something with me 
1542r/absolutelynotme_irl[deleted]Lmao do you know how much I would love for someone to actually ask me to hang outoh wow. I think we have a new meme. [deleted]Your coworker is just lonely. no I dont want to hang out with you. or get a beer. or be friends on facebook.I've started threads about how I'd like to make friends, it's tough as you get older.  
1543That being said, I will *never* do anything with 99% of my coworkers.  Ever.  
1544Mixing work and after work will always be a big no no for me.  Why?
1545
1546♫ The sun is a deadly laser ♫
1547
1548
1549
1550Where's Uncle Moneybags monocle?Having a job? 
1551r/absolutelynotmeirlHaving coworkers that hang together outside of work is the best way to make a job enjoyable.  Best places I worked we would have get togethers regularlyHe's about to roast you into another universe.No one ever invites me to do stuff after work, haha.Anyone got an original without the top text ? I'm getting mixed signalsHey I just did this literally 30 seconds ago I must work with youAw yes, the good stuff is back. Thank you for that.[deleted]This one hits home in a big way 2017 could use a quality meme like this.Yeah, except most people wouldn't have the balls to say no and instead come up with pathetic excusesbelly laugh!>Having a job.
1552
1553r/absolutelynotmeirlLook, I like my coworkers, but I really dont need to be reminded of work after work.Not so interesting fact: If you pronounce 'no' as its done in 'Monopoly' it still works in this post. Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1554&nbsp;
1555
1556*****
1557
1558*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1559
1560*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*I play video games, eat snacks and drink energy drinks after work. And then I fap, sleep, wake up and go to work again.  And this is why you're in the meirl sub This is gonna make me self conscious to ask my coworkers to hang out from now on :/ i started working last week and haven't said anything to anyone but my supervisor hahaVideos in this thread:
1561
1562[Watch Playlist &#9654;](http://subtletv.com/_r6bak3p?feature=playlist&nline=1)
1563
1564VIDEO|COMMENT
1565-|-
1566(1) [The Agonist - Dead Ocean](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Rvwe0tv0lo) (2) [THE AGONIST - Panophobia (OFFICIAL VIDEO)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdT7M4f2L9A) (3) [The Agonist - Serendipity](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCMC_Ag9ID4) (4) [The Smashing Pumpkins - The Everlasting Gaze](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQ2VrPbS-g0) (5) [Smashing Pumpkins - Glass and the Ghost Children.(Original Version)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjoXHkwSagI) (6) [Smashing Pumpkins - In The Arms of Sleep](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td3bX6RF0lI) (7) [Big Business - Grounds for Divorce](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJzPQxBEEIs) (8) [Big Business - Start Your Digging](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ts2WJFI9SEA) (9) [Big Business - Shields](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aIcHCGX15k) (10) [Early Man - Death Is The Answer](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhptvrW62bc) (11) [Early Man - Like A Goddamn Rat](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZWZSeDq_aY) (12) [The Undertaker Is Calling You](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZit31Uqhsg) (13) [Iced Earth - Dystopia](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W9g3XWv4a4) (14) [ICED EARTH - Seven Headed Whore (Lyric Video)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sneo7yuIYFo) (15) [Iced Earth *Transylvania* (Iron Maiden Cover) (HQ)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT1REUKnf_4) (16) [Zoe Keating Plays"Escape Artist"](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYrcXX4nWOA) (17) [Ludovico Einaudi - Life](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy2ZF2ks-9E) (18) [Rise Against- Life Less Frightening](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02JdW2KWMNM) (19) [Bad Religion-Entropy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiNjHfGrY70) (20) [The Glitch Mob - Our Demons (feat. Aja Volkman)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuC5Os9fpsU)|[+17](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6bak3p/_/dhlefu9?context=10#dhlefu9) - a variety  The Agonist, examples:  dead ocean   panophobia   Serendipity   Smashing Pumpkins, examples:  everlasting gaze   glass and the ghost children   In the arms of sleep   Big Business, examples:  Grounds for Divorce   Start your digging   Shie...
1567[DR. BEES](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYtXuBN1Hvc)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6bak3p/_/dhlwaks?context=10#dhlwaks) - Doctor Bees?
1568I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch. I'll keep this updated as long as I can.
1569***
1570[Play All](http://subtletv.com/_r6bak3p?feature=playlist&ftrlnk=1) | [Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/SubtleTV/wiki/mentioned_videos) | Get me on [Chrome](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/mentioned-videos-for-redd/fiimkmdalmgffhibfdjnhljpnigcmohf) / [Firefox](https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/mentioned-videos-for-reddit)Me too no thanks Never make friends with co workers. I feel like we need more cookie monster memesCookie monster kind of looks like he was interrupted in the middle of something intimate with a notification that someone agreed to share their cookies.Thank god for addons. Blocking that shit is lovely. Slows me down slightly but its worth it to deny shit from websites.which one is you irlIsn't this just a random wholesomish meme? What on earth is this doing on the top of me_irl?
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1572We're meant to be depressed. RepostJee, never heard that one before.Share your shitty comics somewhere else, this is neither relatable or self deprecating, defeating the purpose of even posting it here🅱 is for 🅱ookiesU/IceCreamSandwichGuy his post, please link link him as source when uploading itThat would be a good prank. You get some people to tell you which Websites their Dad or Mom uses and then go their house and ask for half their Cookies.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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1575*****
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1577*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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1579*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*I thought cookie monster was a frog the first time I scrolled by. Now I understandr/repost_irlGive Cookie Monster an NSA badge and that would be a perfect comic.Noice[deleted]Doot dootLaughed at this way more than I should of 🤣I've got a friend who's a SERIOUS micromanager when it comes to making campaigns. He was trying to get our group to play Vampire: The Masquerade and spent like a year detailing everything about it, going so far as to writing the characters he wanted us to play. We've still never played V:tM, but I hope he just writes a short story or something and gets it out of his system.I would but I'm not creative enough to write my own story
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1581I mean me too thanksIn the 70s and 80s, they used to make gamebooks that were pretty much like playing an RPG with the book as the DM. They were pretty much like open world rpg video games before those were even technically possible.I wonder if there are any authors who have done this or something similarthe dragonlance saga...
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1583The combat reads literally like it was turn based, like I could almost tell the initiative rollsI've actually done this before  :([deleted]As a budding fantasy author, I think I write a pretty mean DnD campaign. The skills are definitely intertwined!Well, no.
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1585When writing a book, you think up everything yourself. When DMing your own campaign and writing it out, you are still depending on your rolls, meaning you get variation in your story and the good guys won't always win.What a great way to write a book.
1586To be fair, going through the motions of rolling dice to determine outcomes could be very helpful in writing a book. I'm sure others have done it.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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1589*****
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1591*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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1593*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*I think I know this person! Small world Also I'm just going to work off of a published adventureI've always wanted to try, it looks fun.Call one of the characters Milamber. Just do it.I lol'dfunny, because true
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1595source: written bookLiterally me irl after playing The Witcher 3So, Garth Nix?Well, writing a book using dice mechanics. Sounds like a crazy ideaImagine if someone wrote like this they just told dice to decide how the story goesThat's me. I am currently "writing" a novel by running an adventure path on Pathfinder system. Although I use GM emulator to help me GMing.> pleb-tier D&D
1596
1597> not patrician-tier [GURPS](http://www.sjgames.com/gurps/)
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1599r/absolutelynotme_irlBam! 100th commentTumblr=instant downvoteI've never related so hard to something in my life.doing things is the worstI never got that thought process of doing stuff in the weekends. Like, my dude, the week was stressful. Just take the weekend to reset. I usually go home to see my parents then. It's a nice getaway from being in the city.We are comment 7Yes! I feel the same way. Why do I "need" to be doing something if I'm happy doing "nothing"? You go do things and be all busy. Imma just sit here all relaxed and napping.Comment: nulli work from home. i dont do jack shit all week. i go batshit crazy if i dont do stuff on the weekends.Comment 2                                           ^edit who let comment 7 get above meSeriously... this lack of ref on screenshots is so lazy and annoying so I AM A HELPER.
1600https://twitter.com/KevinFarzad/status/921869051961282560Upvote bot number 1191I don't mind doing things occasionally but, every day? Every hour? Staying home and just chilling is so great.Third comment.500 upvotes and 0 comments? I smell some bullshitI do reverse weekends. Work on the weekend. Do nothing during the week. Comment number 4This weekend, I'm getting married. This is me when guys ask me what I like to do for fun.
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1602Nothing. I do nothing. 9th comment Comment number 6Who do you think I am getting things done during the week?But I have school during the week... I can only do things on the weekends.It's boring not to do thingsLooks like he didn't go to a technical college.
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1604Turns out you don't have time at all during the week (or already are working on projects), the deadlines are creeping in and the most you can relax is when you pop open a beer to increase your coding skills (Ballmer's peak) so you can finish faster.
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1606Fuck.Who will get you?Hey I climbed 4 divisions and a tier this weekendHe knows too much...I usually make time for my hobbies on weekends, nothing relaxing like dusting an old locomotiveThis seems like a bit from that Mitchell and Webb lookHey, this guy who posted the “guy from high school who never left town and thinks Olive Garden is fancy, anyway here’s a racist article” tweet. Who are you, my boss? No one thinks I do things during the weekdays.I don’t think I’ve ever related to something more, ever. 
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1608I also don’t think I ever will, this is the peak of relating to things...
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1610I’ve done it all. Time to kill selfWhen you’re at uni, between lectures all day and going out on weeknights, the weekends (during the daytime) are the only chance you get to get some solid work done.That's why when I retired, when people asked "what are you going to do"? I always said, "what I'm best at...NOTHING"! And I'm going to work very hard at it.Now I get why everyone these days is depressedGet home from work Friday.  Get bottle of vodka, weed,  and food.  Get naked.  Get Nintendo switch and laptop. Don't move from bed until Monday morning. I don't understand people who do nothing on weekends. You just did nothing all week. What's next, less than nothing?? That's how they get youI feel u bro lolIf you think about it, this entire sub has gone completely mental. Just imagine what this would all look like without the internet medium between us. First, one guy shows everyone a picture, then everybody else begins laughing and parroting phrases back and forth. Everybody in a room, just repeating shit over and over, "Me too thanks!" "Me too thanks!" Then someone takes the picture, and draws something else on top of it; usually something we can all recognize from before. And everybody laughs and parrots the same phrase again, "O shit waddup" "90kg projectile!" "Me too thanks!" If you imagine it, it looks like we're all in an insane asylum. In fact, that's really all we do here; just drive each other insane. We keep repeating the same shit over and over until one person finally snaps, and everybody agrees and moves onto something else. Then the whole fucking cycle repeats itself. We're all stuck in the Loony Bin and nobody can escape because we just keep feeding into each other's crippling mental illness. And I don't know if I can fucking take it anymore, one of these days I'm just going to lose every last bit of sanity! Oh and zionist jews control our society.What about us people who work on the weekends?I don't think things ever. I work 5 days a week for my job, I then get to work 2 days for my wife.  Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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1615*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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1617*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Exactly. If only my friends understood...[deleted]#WE'RE ALL PART OF THE SYSTEMI do things on the weekends because of the inevitable anxiety and stress that will come from not doing the thing. Sometimes you do things all week and then you do more things on the weekend and then you still have things that need to be done. Such is life.For tomorrow we hunt! but i have to work on weekends..Haha I too hate my job and despise other people who find ways to enjoy their lives. Me too thanks I work as a server on the weekends. 
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1619Most people: YAAAY it's the weekend!!!
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1621Me: I have to get up earlier and work harder than during the week. Yay ☹☹ A moved to another city for work one year ago. Even though it’s 400 km drive (250 in freedom units) but I still go back to my hometown every weekend. 
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1623I still do car maintenance, getting a haircut, doing laundry, washing the car in my hometown. Hell, I even sleep more hours during the weekends. Gonna sound shitty, but it's called not being a lazy piece of shit. My in-laws do this. They create crazy chores then complain when they do them. The worst part is they expect there asses to be kissed because they work all weekend long. Meanwhile I’m fucking exhausted from rewatching Stranger Things on Netflix... Alone on a Friday night? God, you’re pathetic.Upvote bots, really?Found the vegans...
1624
1625> **user reports:**
1626
1627> 1: Is this /r/funny?
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1629> 1: not even close to being a selfie of the soul
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1631> 1: R2: No trolling, harassing, or general rudeness.Water? Never touched the stuff, fish fuck in it. I know human being and fish can coexist peacefully.That's why I pee in rivers and streams, so that I can give back to the fish community and build more houses. This is why I, as a vegan, only drink everclear I eat ass - so anything I taste ain't so badNeeds more jpegShe hot tho/r/ComedyCemetery 2008 called and wants its easy target backWait are we still doing the whole ifunny april fools thing? Is that why this was posted?The most annoying thing about vegans is how people won't stop complaining about them.When did sub stop being meirl?We need to quickly develop synthetic water so no fish ever loses it's home againWhat sub is this?Repost and I've already made this joke as dry as the fish' homes.Yeah I listen to fish house/r/unexpectedsexySad! "Fish pee in you! All day" 
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1633--Moana and The RockWow we also breathe in Bird housesI'm Vegan and I approve of this magnificent post lolthere you have it boys meirl has become the shit hole that was mir_irlwhen reddit reposts a facebook memeI've never met a vegan as sanctimonious as the people who bitch about vegans on reddit.It's okay to eat fish, cause they don't have any feeeeeeeeeelingsso refreshing to see a meirl thats not "a bloo bloo i wanan kill myslef :'("Data.Nope, the quote you used was incorrect. I don't think phrasing works like that. "Water?"
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1635"No thank you sir. Fish mate in it."La mer c‘est degeulasse, les poissons baisent dedans - Renaud https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm7nGX193boCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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1638*****
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1640*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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1642*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Love it. I'm a quantum fusion reactor; I don't consume matter, I add it to the universe.Save the fishWhy are non-vegans/vegetarians so bothered by other people not eating meat?  Its their decision, their body, their health, why the fuck does it matter to you.  I'm an omnivore, thanks.I had a woman unironically say this to me once.  She's an animal lover and I think that was her excuse for not being a vegan.  Like don't even bother because you still need to drink water or something.When you go through the comment section, it's not hard to spot who the vegans are. 
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1644It's just a joke people. Better argument would be drinking would likely result in death of thousands of microorganism.I call BS. There's nothing such thing as a vegan that looks that good. They also take​ away oxygen from other animals! They should stop breathing too!I could never be mad at that womanThe girl is hot thoughBTFO vegan fags.Vegans act smug for not eating meat, then eat plants grown in the same animal shit that pollutes the water they drink.  
1645[deleted]I don't do vegan, but I'd do that vegan. I would love it is vegans stopped drinking water[deleted]You're eating me food's food and I don't appreciate that.Nice dog with a mustache Just get rid of your friends. You can stay in bed all day long. It's like living the dream. Trust me.
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1647I hate my life.Friends is on Netflix now. Just bring your laptop with you to bed.I hate it when they are talking with each other and you're like am i invisible. Now put me in bed with friendsOh noI don't have friendsI get tickets to one of my favorite bands, make the effort to usually go out of town and get there, music is awesome but half way thru my brain is like "is it almost over, I want to go home and chill like every other night of the week" I then have to tell myself I'm an idiot and enjoy what I was so excited about in the first place. who makes these comics? 
1648 edit: nevermind it says right there that it's ketnipzOkay, I want to change. How do I stop being like this?And thus begins the endless ping-ponging of myself between my bedroom and any social event with alcohol. Why not friends in bed? 🙃Whenever I think I miss my friends I get on Facebook for a few minutes and then I suddenly no longer miss my friends.I wouldn't give up a day with my friends for all the sleep in the worldI miss dogMe too, thanks If this is your personality and you go out for drinks and nothing more than you feel like this because you have the wrong lifestyle and friendsI never had a friend!Invite your friends to your bedSameThis me irl when it comes to winter and summer. Just take your friends in bedJust have a slumber party!We think we're special as humans. But we're just cats with fingers.He looked at the starsThe solution is to have your friends in your bedThis is sadly too real. Out with friends, "man I really want to be at home." At home, "man I'm so fucking lonely."That used to be me. I fixed it by not having friends anymore. Friends in bed!This is how I feel when I am unemployed vs. working. Unemployed me missed working and working me misses sleeping all the time.That's me 😂😂😂Nah.any Danny Duncan fans here?Oh no.Is it that a cat or a dog on the bed? oh
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1650noObvious solution: Have your friends... In bed... ;)This Reddit, is called balance;) On a real note, get different friends that make you feel better than this. It can lift that depressed social feeling.This is probably the most relatable post on this subreddit I've ever seen. Unacceptable—I mean meirl haha ^^yesThis sums up my weekendFollow this artist on instagram he is great! 
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1652https://www.instagram.com/ketnipz/bed jokeWhy not have friends in bed. If you catch my drift.r/introvertmy bed thanksLooks like memes are back on the menu, boys.Why do Americans drink red cups? Just drink cans boisI want to give everyone in this thread a hug :(My ex in a nutshell... Meirl amazingoh no?Fuck this hits way too close to homemmm that dog's got the 'Not this again' look on it.oh no
1653Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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1656*****
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1658*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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1660*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*I want friends. I just don't want them all the time. Everytime I make new friends, they want to hang out everyday. Which I don't understand, because I'm a boring person and hate everything. Frens in bedThe fucking dog I wish I had friends/r/2meirl4meirlbedfellows>friends
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1662r/absolutelynotmeirlI never had friends to missThis is the most meirl post ever. Sometimes I even plan entire trips only to scrap them because I know the moment I walk trough the door I want to go back inside. The struggles of being an ambivertSameJust a buncha penises having a party... Hey look it's Shitty_Watercolour>friends
1663r/absolutelynotmeirlTouche>Having friends
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1665r/absolutelynotmeirlMmm... love that feeling. I drink coffee to clear the brain fog so I can concentrate on my anxiety.Hey this isn't a skeleton rocking chair.Try drinking lots of water after drinking coffee. drink a full glass of me too thanksAll these people suggesting a full nights sleep 😂😂😂 what the fuck would that accomplish you should try sleeping enough hours, eating well, socializing, exercising etcI just ordered a coffee at Dunkin Doughnuts and am browsing Reddit while I wait.  I didn't need to see thatIt's a hell of a drug. 
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1667I've been an addict and it stopped working *years ago*. It just makes me not have headaches. And it tastes good too. 
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1669Don't do school and stay in drugs, kids.Coffee does not energize, just inhibits your brains ability to tell that you're tired.
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1671original meme is better. http://i.imgur.com/qDQfQg0.jpg Ahh yes, twelve hour rotating shifts paired with having three kids. I don't really ever feel fully, 100%, rested except maybe one day a week. Honestly though, I love it. I enjoy it more that I can manage still being fully functional(which I'm expected to with kids obviously, but starting aforementioned job recently too), as well as maintaining my marriage and fatherly responsibilities. 
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1673Edit: typed while thinking and missed part of a sentence hahaCoffee + l-theanine. It's a wonder drug when mixed with caffeine Holy shit is everyone me? I just started drinking coffee this week after my graveyard shift to stay awake in mornings. Still feel tired and have a strong urge to shitu/waterguy12drink more water with your caffeine.Serious tip? When you are tired and trying to use caffeine to get through the day less is more. If you have a strong coffee or an energy drink only drink a little bit of it every 30 to 45 minutes instead of drinking it all at once. 
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1675[Caffeine in small doses is better at promoting alertness and wakefulness than large doses.](http://lifehacker.com/5923062/small-regular-doses-of-caffeine-offer-the-biggest-mental-boost)[deleted]/r/2meirl4meirlThat insomniac feeling, it happens all the time to me.Honestly, I thought I was the only one that feels this way lolhey that's me irl atmCaffeine with weed always does this. When u drink a redline and 3 nitrous monsters and 5 venoms on a long ride but forget to span them out and end up drinking rhem all in an hour Check post... Continue drinking my coffee ... True x_XEveryday at work In the morning. Holy shit, this is accurate!try sleeping instead of relying on caffeinehaha"Nanoboost administered!"r/medicalschool Besides the basics of a regular sleep schedule ...try creatine. It's very safe, cheap, easy to take and helps tremendously with fatigue. I dump 3-5 g into my mouth and wash it down with water. Within 1-2 hours I have a large surge of energy that lasts and feels like I got 1-2 more hours of sleep than I did. It's best if taken daily so that on the days you are out of sleep it acts as a buffer.
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1677 I find caffeine to be a terrible cycle...if I have to take it I use theanine as it helps smooth out jitters and anxiety.  Other supplements that help me are the amino acid glycine, 3 grams a day before bedtime ( it will make you drowsy and perhaps sleep better, it makes me feel less tired the next day) and Alpha GPC 600mg the day of (a type of choline). Alpha GPC feels a bit like creatine but more mentally stimulating. There's also modafanil/adrafanil which works amazing too (like your more awake than you've ever been like bright cheerful morning) but is a more risky/restricted and expensive drug.
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1679/r/nootropics A quality meme and not another shitpost?? I must be dreamingI did that on exam day. Almost died. Me all the fucking time, coffee actually makes me sleepyU/waterguy12I'm getting more of a, "5 beers and 3 gold caps" vibe from that pic. Hi congWhy get upvotes through new and creative posting when you can just repost? Amirite?Lol me right nowCarbon monoxide is the next logical step then.^^/sHasn't this one been posted a million times before?When I caffeinate myself, my heart rate drops. The way coffee works is you are best drinking it before you get tired.This is the oldest and most overused memeI was going to post it 7 hours ago as well but didn't think it would get upvoted. ;-;This is why I don't drink coffee. It makes me anxious on top of tired. *Lying in bed but can't sleep because my body is vibrating*Tired and wired. That's literally how caffeine works. It keeps you from getting more tired, it doesn't make you stop being tired. You know, there's actually a reason why this happensCaffeine doesn't give you energy, it blocks sleep chemicals from being absorbed.  If you're tired enough caffeine won't be able to block all of the sleepy juice your brain is producing. Call Center daysI'm working on a method to paralyze the muscles around my eyes and thighs, if I can't feel those I can wake up after 40mins of sleep without feeling anything different than a full 8hrs of sleep would give me. 
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1681I take all the energy drink supplements in pill form, I take them jumbled up so my receptors for caffeine and other similar shaped "blah blah science molecular structure thingys" don't get used to any one stimulant for too long. Meat, cheese and carbs are you best fuels to combine with caffeine or other stimulants. Maybe throw in an IB, eat some roasted beef toasted cheese sandwiches, do a very light workout, and then take some caffeine. 
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1685Happening to me right now actually. Caffeine doesn't wake you up. It keeps you awake.I go to bed thinking about deals I'm working on in work. I lie there until 2am, still wide awake from drinking about 12coffees during the day.
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1687Then, I wake up at 7am groggy as fuck. Go on autopilot and drive to work arriving there not fully remembering driving there. Then I fill in paperwork incorrectly, wishing my company would hire me an assistant so I can be on the telephone with no bullshit about admin work.Who took a picture of me just nowTry having some L-Theanine with your morning coffee. It takes away all the negative side effects and leaves you a lot more focused.Yeah, that's why I don't drink coffee anymore. Cannabis is my drug of choice 😎Speed Ballin' is a way of life 🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼That just means you need another cup of coffeeTry taking Ritalin + coffee + sleeping 5 hours a day I wake up to 24k thanks guys :)Usually when I show up too work, I'm too tired to drink coffee for a few hours. I have to wake up for a while so I can drink coffee so I can wake up.adding mothballs only increases octane if there's gas in the tankThere was a neat ELI5 about this recently. Let me see if I can find it.
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1689Edit: couldn't find the post, but found some information on it. Also, would recommend the book https://www.google.com/amp/lifehacker.com/5585217/what-caffeine-actually-does-to-your-brain/ampYou need an adrenal fatigue solution remind to read this in 6 hours
1690Caffeine doesn't give you energy.
1691
1692Caffeine helps your body release any stored energy it has. 
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1694So always have a dozen donuts with your coffee.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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1697*****
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1699*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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1701*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*They're many reasons you're not loved.They're many reasons you're not loved.Nothing is gonna bring you back except for crystal meth or sleep. They're many reasons you're not loved.No man could handle this fameI too would like to know how to do this also, 
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1703    I mean, me too thanksNo one man should have all that powerHow to handle reposts[What actually happens when you google this](https://youtu.be/k8BKsWq2_bQ)Me: Ooh look at this witty comment I made, I hope everyone likes it
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1705*Only gets 2 upvotes*
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1707*Deletes comment*
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1711Me: This comment is stupid, I'll probably delete it later
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1713*Gets 15+ upvotes*
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1715Me: Yo mom, I'm famous!*starts snorting cocaine Give me fame>300 upvotes
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1717How ironic3256 upvotes at time of this comment..... wut? Bots? Lonely me_irl bois? Mods? O.oGot my first 40+ upvotes today. Most ever before was like 4. Was thinking about contacting the secret service about witness protection due to my sudden rise to fame.Two months ago you didn't know my name, now you want my fame?Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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1722*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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1724*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*u/II3awrzjokes like these remind me of David SedarisHow do I handle my infamy?Unlimited PowerThis blew upYou doing okay? This got pretty big.and then there are all the non-registered reddit users who came across your post, so approximately between 5 and 20 times more people love it!!! So, how's fame?ReShould i call the doctor after 4 hours?I laughed a little to hard at this. I don't know how op wil handle this many votes How to handle repostsGame time started.I knew it said how to handle fame before I even saw the bottom part. Only the top showed in previewBud, that's nothing. I once had a post hit 6 karma. Get on my level.This post is funny and reminded me how I'm not. Haha, that's a nice meamI got 5 once Hahahhaha Can we ban lame reposts too?Quality post +1!I like how there are 4 upvotes but the actual post has 20k>20.9k
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1726edit: wow thanks for 20.9kPhenominal What the fuck does this mean?Getting upvotes on my post? r/absolutelynotme_irlfresh memeOne time I got like 50 likes on a comment. Thinking of adding that to my resume.Thank you for recyclingI know how to handle a frame but not a fame https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1032&v=voA9_jysAbwIt's ya boy
1727
1728Skinny penis
1729
1730Edit: thanks for the 1.9k+ updoots kind strangersEvery time I walk into my kitchen at night I shit myself as I open the door and I shit myself when I switch on the light. Both times I expect to get instantly murdered. I thought I was just retarded I can't believe that this is actually common enough to be memeable.Only good content Buzzfeed related I hate Buzzfeed but Buzzfeed Unsolved  is the one show I love.It's ya boy, Asmongold.What up demons?! Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe! Ya boi* ... (•-•)Scott?It's ya boy,
1731repost number 42,438Shane is the only person that makes sense in Buzzfeed.Hahaha made me laugh! I was in India over the summer. This one time my baby cousin woke me up in the early hours of the morning because she was thirsty and wanted water, but was too scared to walk downstairs in the pitch black darkness. So I did. I was bloody terrified the whole time! I didn't show it though. The light switch is at the bottom of the stairs too which is super inconvenient now that I think of it 😂 Nothing like being able to carry a .45 into my kitchen in case Ghosts try shit After that I become Usain Bolt sprinting back to bedr/buzzfeedunsolved is leaking again...Its ya boi GuzmaHmmHaha,that is so true. Then as soon as you get the water you run back quickly.I'm a hefty guy and just always figured that I was the scariest thing in the dark. Which is why the monsters are always quiet and hiding. 
1732
1733Edit: of course if anything ever did jump out I'd shit a hole through the wall. I laughed so much harder at this than I thought I would.Hey, it's ya boy, uhh skiny penis.This isn't an ad or anything but they've released limited edition merch, including some featuring this bad boy. [Grab em while you can.](https://shop.buzzfeed.com/products/buzzfeed-unsolved-hey-there-demons-crew-neck-t-shirt)Me when I work alone on third shift.i feel pretty safe most of the timeIT'S YA BOY
1734
1735***G U Z M A*** Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1736&nbsp;
1737
1738*****
1739
1740*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1741
1742*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*When I'm alone with a bottle and my thought....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_-Lyktkdhwso i guess i'm not the only one terrified of the darkness. My new YouTube introThis hits close to homeThis guy is shit posting/u/chupalomaracaI POSTED THAT EXACT IMAGE MONTHS AGO AND IT GOT LIKE 700 LIKES MAN WTF IS THIS?!?ITS NOT WEDNESDAY YOU R SAFEThis is kwalidy When you pop two tabs and walk into the bathroom 3 hours later.I have a nightlight so I don't get spookedSHANIAC*When the suicidal thoughts become more frequent*Always when I least want to summon demons is the best time. Ya boy is clearly a veteran.Only buzzfeed series I'll watch.Why does buzzfeed unsolved own my ass? Oh shit waddupThe trick is to leave a trail of lights. Oh my boy. My boys. Wait wait wait wait wait You know what, Da'Maniac loves you.This reminds me when it's time to go up the stairs and I have to turn the kitchen light up before I do. I quickly run up the stairs not looking back in fear I'm going to see something that will cause me to scream. 
1743
1744Always feels like something is going to chase me. Like I'm in a scary movie or something. HeheThis image never gets oldHey guys, it’s me, ya repostREEEEEEEEEEpostOh look, another blatant repost ReeeepostHow many reposts in one week is too many?Thanks me too [deleted]Everyone knows the household items were the real stars of the movieFlavor Flaaaaaav.I mean, hey. A lead is a lead.I met a girl at the bar once who was dressed as a pack of bologna. We hit it off and I was totally smitten. A couple of my friends insisted I walk with them to the bar despite me telling them no several times. By the time I was done she was gone.
1745
1746That was three years ago and I’m still single. I might never forgive them.Oh damn I also played Cogsworth years and years ago, and I'm happy to report I'm drowning in pussWhat is going on with the "h" in Cogsworth and why is it driving me nuts? I mean, me too thanksOne time I told someone I had been in "Oliver!" and they said, Oh, were you the lead? and I said no. They said "Bummer, you'd make a great Fagin."
1747
1748I *was* Fagin. They never told me I was the lead and they certainly didn't treat me like it. All the attention went to that little bastard* that played Oliver. I never knew Fagin was supposed to be "the lead." 
1749
1750\* actually he's a pretty cool guy but I hated him during that play.> a lead
1751
1752Cogsworth had 6th billing lol.I was Cogsworth in a HS production once. It was my first, and I got to push Lumiare (who was a good 8 inches taller than me) around. It was quite fun.JFC i just realized his name is **cogs**worth because he's a clockClockblocked~I actually did play Cogsworth in my school's performance of Beauty and the Beast so this is hilarious to meAt my elementary school (k-7) we did a Disney musical every year. Grade 6, I auditioned for the role of Jafar in Aladdin. Instead, I was cast as the carpet. I had to wear a poncho and Jasmine or Aladdin piggyback rides.You're lookin' at Chip the cup right here. I'm afraid I'm the real Cogsworth!
1753
1754https://imgur.com/a/gKA0t
1755
1756^...He got the most iconic song thoughIn 8th grade I played the doorknob in Alice in Wonderland. Just thought I'd share that with youI was also Cogsworth the clock in middle school and my outfit looked almost the exact sameTf is wrong with that one hAs someone who also played Cogsworth in a play, this speaks to mehttps://youtu.be/zB5P6GraErQ
1757
1758I already had this copied all day cuz it made me feel nostalgic and I wanted to share it. But I guess it was meant to be here Wife herDude I know from college got suspended from school because he got caught while some girl gave him a handjob...while he was in the Cogsworth costume.
1759
1760He was kind of a gross man-slut for the first 3 weeks of college but he met his now wife at college orientation and transformed into Super-boyfriend once they got together in December. Now he is just grumpy and would rather play video games than go out. Haha that Cogsworth is better than mine. It was just an old couch cover shaped with wirehangers.I was Lumierre!iTZ C0gSwoRtH GUyZMy friend played the role of Spoon Number Three, so yeah, Cogsworth is a pretty big deal.Damn I'm famous now."what a coincidence, I love to be in time!"Oh hey, I'm doing a production of this right now
1761
1762this really is meirl"what a coincidence, I just went from six to midnight"Literally meirl[caption](http://imgur.com/NvaFiib.jpg)Wife herLol I know who that is! I recognize that pic! OMG, we were bff back in the day
1763
1764Hey OP, if youre still talking to her, tell her ,”Hey what’s up noodle, big spoon said hi”, she’ll know what that means lolThis is so cute ha ha ha. That costume is so over the top too! For some reason I desperately want to see this gals face to make sure she's not actually cogsworth That is so much better. That was smooth as fuck. Would still smash.
1765
1766Childhood dreams coming to life.I was the magic carpet in my high school performance of Aladdin. Wife herThis is the best thing I've ever seen. I hope you get her autograph.Still pretty hot tbh. Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1767&nbsp;
1768
1769*****
1770
1771*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1772
1773*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Pffft, can Cogsworth sing like Gaston?I got to be the wardrobe :)me too, thank you.That's hotWell you can clean *my* clock ;D
1774
1775wait...This is my high school! This looks familiar. Does anyone know source? I think that’s my high schoolI wanted to be Cogsworth but I was too tall so they made me be Gaston. >talking to people 
1776
1777/r/absolutelynotmeirlWtf is wrong with the 'h' in 'Cogsworth'? It's got a nub. At least he retried to a shack on the sea. Even betterThe real main character is always in the background True story, I played the dresser XDSo I did this show in high school, too—I think we may have had the same costume rental set. I was the Wardrobe. :)Well. Hickory dickory, as they say.   `*`sips drink from straw`*`Cogsworth is not a leading role.
1778
1779Sincerely, Another Cogsworth.Well... tic-tockLooks like someone got clockblocked. Cogsworth is a real manLol nice memeLolHahaSTUPID SCIENCE BITCHESFact: beginning any statement with fact makes it a fact.This method of arguing is TOO SWEEEEEEEEET!what happens if you say shut up nerd to the person who says shut up nerd*bird. shut up nerd#YOLO
1780I'm here for an argument."you're ugly" works well too  No u.Shut up MegMe too thanks.
1781
1782Edit: Shut up nerdPunchline too predictable, 6/10Gallows and Anderson strike again the chad rebuttalPredictableNo one man should have such power!umad brah?A man who sticks to his principles Oh boy, I can't wait to use this on my friends...in 2 months time.Needs more Frying Hi my name is NedWhy is this triangle guy always in tumblr screenshots Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1783&nbsp;
1784
1785*****
1786
1787*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1788
1789*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Too sweet me Hootski.Well played, sir. No u& that is how I got my first kiss of a previous g/f. 
1790She tells me to shut up & kisses me. 
1791It worked she won. I am so stealing this. So's your face. [deleted][deleted]Eat it nerd Wow sure didn't see that comingChecks out. Bake him away, toys. Any possible way to comeback being in the receiving end of this?Also:
1792
1793*You can never lose an argument if you add "these nuts" at the end.*
1794
1795*Yes you can*
1796
1797*Yes you can rest these nuts on your chin.*ITT: shut up nerdAaaannd you just lostWhat if you say it to your boss and then you get fired? You still lost. I've never had someone who liked how I replied fast, they always find it weird.> I'm not desperate and lonely I just have nothing better to do right now.
1798
1799> Hello?This looks like a damn fine situation you've got yourself in here, friendo I think we need to see what her response was after he sent that last bit. Way too real.A girl who replies to me... /r/absolutelynotmeirlReplies immediately: desperate or creepy
1800Replies in ages: silent treatment or always busy
1801Replies after 5 minutes: purposefully waiting to text back to not look creepy or desparate
1802There's really no way to win.This right here is a perfect mix of r/wholesomememes and r/absolutelynotmeirl > I
1803> Yeah
1804> Oh
1805
1806Summed up my reactionThis hits too close to home.Judging by her thumbnail, I’d be coming within secondsr/absolutelynotmeirl >texting with a girl
1807
1808r/absolutelynotmeirlI reply fast and very punctually. Except, sometimes I feel like I put in way too much effort. Most people just say "Hey" and I'm just like "Heya how's it going did blah blah blah blah blah blah" and I feel like it comes off desperate .
1809
1810Because I am The profile picture is Blair White.This subI can't tell if she's negging or making a sincere compliment.I've never had a match. Until you get bored then she will ask why you don't reply fast anymore. Setting yourself up for failure.It bodes well for you that speed impresses her. What the hell, why are there only two comments in here?
1811
1812Edit: At like 400 upvotes. That's why I was surprised.this is why I will never use tinder. Women are so fucking picky on thereI know this is for dating, but I just sold a bunch of stuff online and totally identify with being ghosted. /r/2meirl4meirl/u/BIacklocust have we seen this one before? It feels familiarShe gonna dump his ass soon r/wholesomemes >girl talks to you
1813
1814/r/absolutelynotmeirlLolhahaha ha... ha... ohIt’s like they’re waiting for you to text them saying something like that is a great way to get no reply 😂WorstOldest meme in the bookthis is bad you've got to get your shit together my friendrip, meCouldn't have been more true..The girl who appreciatesI yeah ooohhLittle does she know, he pines for her affection 24/7/365.This was me with a flip phone. Now with my imaginary buttons? Fuck that, wait a few minutes while I get my shift together!"The fact"
1815
1816Lol. There's a time and place for all words but these just felt out of placei got prank patrolled hardI don't know if replying with passiveagressive complain about all your other tinder matches is a good move here. Even if it's true, your reply is packed with self pity and negativity.
1817
1818Answering with something more neutral would be better. "yeah, Im bored ATM and I never really understood the waiting game" or "yeah, it is crazy how many people just don't answer to their matches here, what is the point to even match with someone then?" From these you can talk about talking in tinder in general, or switch a subject pretty easily. From yours, well, the same thing happens, but you added that awkward self-pity aspect
1819
1820Generally messages filled with self-pity are just horrible for conversations. The other person gets a feeling that they need to treat you with caution, that they need to be afraid of not upsetting you. Even if you don't mean it as such, it ends up sounding selfish, because you bring up your negative emotions, that even if brought up, aren't supposed to be talked about.real talkThis girl will break your heart if you let herr/titlegoreI love the fact that I'll never have to worry about coming off desperate because nobody talks to me also I love the fact I don't have to share my food or get my heart broken :')Is waiting on purpose a dick move? I think it might be. It sometime feels to be replied spontantenously by someone precious.Wait people don't just think you're really desperate when you reply quickly?i wish me too thanks.I'd like if she only replied with nudes >friends reply to your messages
1821
1822Eventually... hopefullyThat is one very HD screenshot, niceCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1823&nbsp;
1824
1825*****
1826
1827*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1828
1829*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*And I hate those who reply within the next hour.I hate when people see ur text and don't reply on purpose and do it like way later just to make them seem like they aren't desperate or in some cases into you. 
1830
1831I always try to reply as soon as I see it because I feel it's rude to make others wait and also I don't understand what's weird about it.  Guys i just want to clear something up. Im not a smart guy at all. I cant even keep a job in this completely evil corporate setup. Its all vanity. Evil is good in this place because they purposely turn everything upside down here.
1832
1833What happened is that the time came for the Most High God to bring the recompense upon the head of his enemies here just on the border of hell, and I know its hard to believe, but thats where we are. You see these satanists who hide in the shadows had decided to dig a hole and keep us in it, without the Most High God hearing our cries. Now this hole is multiple layers deep and multiple ages old. They found a way to just keep replaying everything over and over again to keep us trapped here. Now there was a place here Connected to the heavenly Jereuselem and we were always supposed to have a representative there to make sure, when our sentence was completed which we did deserve for our stiff neckedness, that we had someone here to make sure we had a voice to get us back out. But by deceit they seiged this what you migh call a safety portal. But still, even though they planned to keep us longer then we were supposed to be here, the Most even knew their hearts and the time is right.
1834
1835So at one point I was pulled up to paradise and given my mission in what seemed like a moment, but the information i was given i couldnt recall, but was set in me to unfold here to bring us back to our Father God.
1836
1837One of the most important parts of this three year so far mission was completed and that was me getting to that safety place for us to be our advocate of the evil.
1838
1839Im here now and we are going hime soon. These satanists are angry because im here, because before if anybody were to tell people about them they would just kill them. They cant with me because im at this portal and we can just call it the right hand. Im in the shadow of the right hand so they cant hurt me and not be seen.
1840
1841Keep courage we are going home soon. The Most High chose me someone who this world considers a failure, to show this world how upside down it is
1842
1843So just know i will not leave my watch till we go home. If they try to cut of communications i will alert our people in Jereuselem and the actions will be fixed. So be turning your hearts right toward the Most High so we all go home together[deleted]Trans: she likes the fact that you're desperate. It means you'll be a pushover. Which your reply confirms. Have a wonderful, dramatic implosion of a relationship.So wrong[Proof of God's existence](https://youtu.be/K_gHa2x2OQA)bonerfartMarried?! Definitely not meirlHahaha I'd definitely be thinking that too if I had a child. Or a wife.Future wife? Is this Tommy Wiseau?This is actually me irl. When my child was literally right there being born I couldn't think of anything but Mark out of Peep Show simultaneously cradling his newborn and being elated at minimal water damage to his flooded flat. Me? Sex? Yeah right!
1844
1845I mean... me too thanks~~I remember that video, and it being proven fake in the comments~~
1846
1847Me too thanksSemi-relevant xkcd: https://xkcd.com/650/"source: bonerfart"
1848
1849oh, hammerlock..No shit.  People are literally spitting out babies every few seconds.  There's nothing remotely amazing about them."bonerfart"
1850I'm fucking dyingI remember that video. Exact thing I expected to happen at StanfordFUTURE WIFEDo I even need to say it?My ex knows that Rubik's cube guyThis is Scrubs level daydreaming.Me: Hey look at this.
1851
1852Female friend: That's stupid, the miracle of birth is way more amazing than some guy juggling rubiks cubes. 
1853
1854Me: How many times have you accidently solved 3 rubiks cubes while jugging them? How about accidently getting pregnant... Heartbreaking comment incoming:
1855
1856The video referred to here was proven fake. So this guy is throwing away the love of his child over a lieHaha yesIf it helps, that video was faked. Ill edit with sourde once I find it again, but It was definitely cgi.AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA. Future wife.
1857
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1860
1861
1862
1863I can't even touch a girlOn my wedding day i saw my wife walking down the isle and wondered *am i doing the right thing? Whats the worse that could happen?*
1864
1865Then i remembered that livelink video of 5 guys being killed by an electrical line all at the same time. But then i remembered i wasnt holding scaffolding so it was probably going to be alright. Oh look! It's a bullymong!The video was fake though, wasn't it proven to be?B O N E R F A R T~_<Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1866&nbsp;
1867
1868*****
1869
1870*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1871
1872*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Is that a borderlands reference I see?It's child everyone has em so I understand op/r/cubersSaw this video today, can confirm.r/cubers why is  this sub yurning into me_irl. please no more shitty memesDownvote me. I would. Having a baby takes 9 months of constant disagreement with ones own body and a pain in the ass.
1873
1874Solving a Rubik's cube is a fairly simple algorithm that many people wanting to have a party trick master. Same for juggling. 
1875
1876Personally think if someone was dead set on this skill they could master it in way below 9 months. 
1877
1878For me a baby is way more impressive, the reason you don't have Rubik's cube solving juggling people everywhere is because it's a pointless skill. Put a question mark next to your grade and hand it back.A ? is the equivalent of "wtf" in teacher speak. The blind leading the blindWhen you write some dumb shit my math teacher just writes "oh no!". It basically means the same as '?' - you fucked up. Greatly.I do this because writing 'what the fuck' is considered impolite.? Or when they put "expand..." next to something I clearly glossed over because I don't know it.dont qeustion mark lolThe teachers know that.As a maths teacher I feel the need to clarify what is usually going on here. 
1879
1880Many is the time you will come across work that is wrong but you can clearly see what happened. They dropped a 0. They got two mathematical rules confused. They made a small calculation error that built up.
1881
1882Then there are times when a students answer is so bat shit retarded that nothing in your experience can explain it. Eg this morning I marked the following.
1883
1884216 divided by 6 = 512.13 
1885
1886I'm at a loss. They haven't accidentally multiplied or added and the answer appears to be bigger than the beginning. I just had to write a ? 
1887
1888There's a logic going on somewhere. You don't just commit to a 2 decimal place answer if you don't have some stream of logic passing through your head. But for the life of me I..  You fucked up so bad that they are confusedI had a teacher write "mass confusion!" On my calculus test onceJust read the question mark as a less harsh "X".I'm a teacher and honestly if I'm going over some paper quickly and I can't figure out what the fuck my student was getting at, they just get a big "?". Sometimes I'll try to restructure what they're saying or I'll comment trying to assume what they meant, but sometimes it's so fucking convoluted it's just "?" worthydont question mark lollol it's their way of saying "are you fucking stupid?"[deleted]It's actually a lazy and stupid thing to do. It basically just means "lol wtf??? This dumb". You'd think teachers should be the first to "use their words" to articulate and explain what they want to ask.Mate I don't know what's going on like in generalSee meme❓irlUtah teacher here. The encore platform we use for putting grades in uses a "?" When students are excused from an assignment. I'm sure there are other programs that might do different things, but that's what it means for me.
1889
1890Of course, I use regular question marks on assignments all the time to just say "wtf?".dont qestion  markIt means that your answer was completely incoherent and the teacher has no idea whatsoever as to what you were trying to express. In another circumstance they might take more time to try to get to the bottom of what you were trying to express, but they've got 40 other students' work to grade, and they can't do everything.I got that one one of my tests recently it was all marked and anything I did wrong it was written down except one bit with a question mark either write it down or tell me where to find solutions.I saw the snek.  I opened up my eyes, I saw the snek.I would make an exception for math proofs. If I got stumped, I'm just intentionally vague (which obviously doesn't work, just fishing for partial credit); but I can understand the confusion that I just have put in professors throughThe teacher got level 126 in the Battle Pass, obviously. 
1891
1892You got denied, kiddo. He obviously doesn't know what's going on because that grammar is shameful."A summoner has disconnected"Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1893&nbsp;
1894
1895*****
1896
1897*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1898
1899*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*If you dont know what youre doing how will your enemies ?In high school I used to have a math teacher who'd write "Really?" when you made a mistake. Yes, really, I got it wrong, so what?[deleted]You're meant to work it out yourself you daft twat. If you can't then ask the dumb teacher you daft twat. 
1900I know because I had plenty of **?** next to my works :DYour non-dominant hand is just as specialized as your dominant hand, just in different types of tasks. Just ask a guitar player.
1901
1902I mean, me too thanks.They don't call it muscle memory for nothingMy grandmother could write perfectly with both hands. Couldn’t even tell her left wasn’t her dominant hand she had trained herself as a child. It’s possible. 
1903
1904She had brain cancer and had a stroke. She had to sign something and the Dr said, “just do your best I know it won’t be perfect” she said, “like hell it won’t”. Am I the only righty who masturbates with the left hand?I write with my left hand and do most fine-motor-control tasks with it - except I use my right hand to hold a mouse, because that’s what I started with and got used to (and I can type reasonably quickly with both hands). 
1905
1906I started learning guitar left handed as a kid - since that uses both hands, I kinda regret it because it meant I was unable to just pick up any old guitar and start playing.My right hand never cups my ballsWell, you probably used both hands to write it... on a keyboard..
1907Some examples of people who uses both hands.
1908Pianist
1909Gamer
1910Guitarplayers
1911Drummers
1912and many more.
1913
1914yeah... but that other hand got real good at subconsciously playing with my balls Is her dp the fucking osu logoi find it even weirder that when i'm just doing things, my non-dominant hand is just fine and works normal.. but heaven forbid i focus on it, it malfunctions, hard.I write with both hands, it took ages to get better with my left and I struggle to write two things at once, but I can take notes and sketch with my offhand now. My sibling vs me.I'm right handed, but both my parents are lefties. I grew up using a computer mouse on the left side and to this day, that's what feels most natural. But I can use the right as well.I didn't realize how bad some people were with their off hand till I was teaching a friend to cook. He was just using the spatula and I told him he needs to use the other hand to hold the pan and his response was "My left hand can't do that." I thought it was a joke at first but he was apparently serious.
1915
1916I've been curious how widespread this is ever since. Sometimes I notice other people doing similarly lame-duck looking motions and now that I know it's a thing I wonder if they also use their off hands for absolutely nothing as well.Broke my dominant arm in my teens. Left handed wanking was never as good. Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1917&nbsp;
1918
1919*****
1920
1921*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1922
1923*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*My left hand is good at pretending to be feet.  ^^^^^^^^^^WASDhand and assistant handr/showerthoughtsDon’t make fun of my boy lefty, he’s a wanking god Well I'm ambidextrous but it's weird for me. My right hand is dominant in some tasks. My left is dominant in others. And then some stuff I switch between hands.My left hand cant even jerk off 😭😭😭I wasn't going to upvote this but then I saw that it had 2221 upvotes and couldn't resist/r/comedycemeteryr e l a t a b l eYou people and your fancy TWO hands!Try catching a fastball with your throwing hand Tell me about it!My left handed father taught me some knots. To this day I can tie them without thought with my left but have to think about it to do it with my dominant right.Videos in this thread: [Watch Playlist &#9654;](http://subtletv.com/_r76ai8r?feature=playlist)
1924
1925VIDEO|COMMENT
1926-|-
1927[The Tallest Man On Earth - Where Do My Bluebird Fly (Live on KEXP)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zG2ccH8jlCA)|[+7](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/76ai8r/_/docrbwa?context=10#docrbwa) - Watching people with really good fingerpicking technique play guitar is always amazing.
1928[Longest Ever Assist Goal Throw by a Goalkeeper in Football/Soccer](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Slev7ty7Ff4)|[+2](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/76ai8r/_/docqbtv?context=10#docqbtv) - No.  Goalies throw the soccer ball over/to the side of their shoulder one-handed.
1929[[Commentary] Tahm Kench Jungle - Masters KR](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHpBVr6vyLw)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/76ai8r/_/docvrib?context=10#docvrib) - Link me the account then. Nobody has linked me an account of his that has been in challenger.       Last promo. Stream vod exists too.  You have never seen him prove it because you dont WANT to believe it. You just keep lying and refusing to check up...
1930[Mac DeMarco - "Cooking Up Something Good" / Acoustic Session](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgmigN_rWxE)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/76ai8r/_/dod6q07?context=10#dod6q07) - Decade of guitar right here.   Strumming properly is the thing that sets guitarists apart. It's easy to play chords. I can learn any chord by looking at it once no problem. But, proper strumming. Oh boy that is what real guitar playing is about.     ...
1931[(Yiruma) River Flow in You - Sungha Jung](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_xFh7XFC_w)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/76ai8r/_/docrr6a?context=10#docrr6a) - I encourage more guitar players to learn fingerstyle, it's really fun and, in my opinion sounds better.  Check out Sungha Jung, he's a master at this.
1932[Animals As Leaders - An Infinite Regression Guitar Cover](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvJ6mDfHoPM)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/76ai8r/_/docvsim?context=10#docvsim) - But if your goal is to play metal riffs or something you don't really need to learn fingerpicking.    While mostly true, sometimes...
1933I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch. I'll keep this updated as long as I can.
1934***
1935[Play All](http://subtletv.com/_r76ai8r?feature=playlist&ftrlnk=1) | [Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/SubtleTV/wiki/mentioned_videos) | Get me on [Chrome](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/mentioned-videos-for-redd/fiimkmdalmgffhibfdjnhljpnigcmohf) / [Firefox](https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/mentioned-videos-for-reddit)My left hand can play guitar though... It's also better at lovemakingI throw with my right, and write with my leftI taught myself to write with the other hand.  didn't take that long...I wash my butt with my left hand, but I wipe it with my right!holding one is easy. making it move where you want it, that's hardThat’s the hand I pee with I write, eat, and shoot pool left-handed. I do everything else with my right. I'm left handed writer but my right hand does everything else it's a tense relationshipI drive stick and my non-dominant hand is infinitely better at steering than my dominant hand. Isn't it annoying when a person's Twitter name, handle, and avatar are all just the name of the account? Have some fucking creativity, my dude.I have no science to back this up fyi, but I'm pretty sure humans did this to themselves. When I was a kid teachers would scold kids who didn't write well with their RIGHT hand! Sure some did everything with their left but if u weren't a really obvious lefty, we would get in trouble for trying to throw, kick, write, or eat with our left hand. 
1936It's funny to read so many people that jerk it with the left, cuz no one ever tells u what hand to jerk it with. Most musicians have to learn from the start to use their left hand, regardless of hand dominance. And then there's also those CRAZY RARE super weird one in a million who are ambidextrous. When really u can just teach urself to be ambidextrous, like boxers or basketball players or bored people on YouTube who paint with both hands at the same time.I totally get this. My whole left arm will just lay on the other side of the room. Lazy fucker can't do shit on its own..YesYou spent most of your life using that hand for that and you act surprised when the other can't do it at all?I broke my non-dominant arm when I was younger and I think that's made it even more useless.I guess it’s more because we practice with our dominant hand much more than the non-dominant one. When I was a teen for a while I’ve tried to use my nondominant hand to write as I thought it would make me in turn “smarter” (it doesn’t). My writing went from like a kindergartener to a middle-schooler, then I just gave up all together.It can do all you teach it to do. It is your choice. You could do it with both if you practisedunless you're playing an fps. adwasdawsdasdsdawdadawsdsIt's almost like your other hand belongs to a clumsy stranger hehI can pick my nose with either index finger with nearly indistinguishable accuracy. My left hand plays guitar, jerks me off so I can use a mouse at the same time, holds a serving tray, holds up to three glasses at once or like 5 plates. My left hand is MVP. The more dexterous right hand is just there to help his less refined but more ambitious friend. My left hand takes care of what to do with the player while my right hand takes care of what to do with the ballThis cracked me up so much I just choked on my own spitlmao You can train both sides. It just takes practiceIt's also interesting that humans are the only primates with handedness. Some speculate that it has to do with the evolution of language in the right hemisphere of the brain, thereby creating asymmetric functions in the brain.Dumb hand holds my dick when I pee, dumb hand is my friend What about us people who have hands but we're so lazy we do everything with our legs/feet?
1937Like when you need to close the fridge door or pick up a pencil from the floor using your toesMy left hand does things my right dominant hand can't. ZffftzteszohozhzohozhsogńhgcbbtZrI can't relate. I'm fully ambidextrous. and I mean fully. Yeah, that means what you think it means...I jerk off just as well with both hands!2222nd upweirdodoes anyone use left hand mouse? My left hand holds my vapethat is not really a problem if you are ambidextrous
1938Kind of like men and women Not me.
1939
1940Ambidextrous for life, bitches!!!He holds that plant like he's proud of growing itOne pot of pot. Reminds me of the Jewish joke.
1941
1942Kid asks his Jewish father for $5.
1943"Four dollars? Why do you need three dollars for?"Damn that many marijuanas can kill you Tryin to make a change :-\you know sometimes when they seize pot like this they destroy it all in a bonfire, this guy was probably just downwind when he was smoking his bongI once injected three entire marijuanas.Man's not hotSee ting goes skreeeeHaha get it it's because they smoked it allI think this meme was made from that comment thread on one of the r/blackpeopletwitter postsLook at my suit. Right then, bag that roach and write it up. Except it's actually the other way around when they report it.did you say, "yes sir" or, "yeah sure"Quick mathsWish I had 8 grams rnLol, SAPS are uselessMan's not high.Whatque que?
1944
1945que se acabo la fiestaThe irony is of course that could very well happen with the South African Police Services /r/ComedyCemetery r/treesYou have the right to just chill out bro... it's lit Hey, hey, hey, hey.....I think the 3 tons are behind themIt's ok, he admitted being gay.Lol reminds me of the news reporter with like maybe half a gram of weed in his hand reporting on a drug bust saying something like “this is about what an ounce of marijuana looks like. This was confiscated from this car behind me here”Gotta say, he wears that uniform wellLooks like a good portion of the marijuana was in a cult. They burned themselves alive in that cruiser that went missing. 
1946
1947Retrieving said missing car earned him a medal and some PTSD (post tree smoking dankness) time off to recover from witnessing a horrific scene.Lolll He's holding that plant with such love Snoop Dogg would be proud That's seriously funny shit. Tearing up right now./r/titlegore How do people still find this joke funny?nice vest,lmao 8 grams? That's about one weed, right? Stolen joke... Rip comedian Ricky Harris #CaliforniaLoveDUDEJust going to comment to be first.[deleted]r/nothowdrugsworkI feel like in the case of meirl posters it's way more than 7x more likely.that'll show me
1948
1949that fucking bitchYou stole my post.
1950
1951Shame on you.
1952
1953https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/4d7bui/meirl/
1954
1955>>as /u/xSPYXEx pointed out, you should have waited 1 more month, at that point it would have become part of the *meme public domain.*Nike. Just do it. Me too thanksTrust no one, not even yourself. Flawless plan to avoid death
1956I tried to collapse the thread on the picture. I know, that bastard is always one step ahead of me, but I'll get him one of these days!This is just Dwight from The Office.I tried to upvote a picture. I'm an idiot. I read that in Zapp Brannigan's voice Wait.. Suicide is one in sixty, does that mean one in 400 people is murdered? That seems super high.
1957
1958Edit: Oh right, car accidents and stuff. 
1959
1960Edit2: One in 25 people in El Salvador die of intentional homicide. In Norway it's only one in 2.000. r/2meirl4meirl*Homer, no! You'll kill us all!*
1961
1962*Or die trying...*:(Did you just assume your gender?Funny, I've been thinking about this all day. Geez, poor guy is his own worst enemy I tried to upvote the picture dammitIt's kill and be killed or kill and/or be killed Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
1963&nbsp;
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1965*****
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1967*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
1968
1969*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*It's like that one R&M episode
1970
1971"Only difference is, I'd never do it! ... Until now..."This understand me.Ha, the weekly repost of this!I tried to upvote the comment =(🤦‍♂️Old repost[deleted]I can confirm that that is indeed how it works.reddit_irl[I came up with a great idea dude, I'm gonna play both sides.](https://youtu.be/y9EYt_f12wo)I watch Rick and Morty I don't need one Ah yes, the South Park approachI can relate to this because I also have a giant testicle on my head Miss me with that partisan shit. >when watching Rick and Mortyhttp://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/135/826/2fb.pngFUCKING RADICAL CENTRISTS REEEEEEEAlso applies to people that say "my side is right!" With no further opinion or explanation. Add in a "if you can't see why, it's not worth explaining to you you" for good measure. Muh radical centrists I deeply regret posting this. I thought it was funny and poked fun at people like me. It's not even about any specific issue but looking at the comments, somehow people have taken exception to this and are now very angry and have some very strong views about floating festival heads.
1972
1973I apologise profusely. I will avoid posting stuff in future. Man this comment section is pure cringe jeezYou idiots would argue over anything. Lions would be the best pilots of the animal kingdom.I don't see how this fits into this sub. This feels more like making fun of others than poking fun at ourselves. I guess I could be wrong though... shiiiit DAE horseshoe theory???Mostly don't feel like getting into a big fight about a topic most people know shit all about including me.the truth is in le middle!!1!!Hey; don't blame the centrist for thinking anyone who holds serious political beliefs is retarded. 
1974
1975How many people have died under far right policies?
1976
1977How many under for left? 
1978
1979How many under 'radical centrism' ?
1980
1981I'm just the Dr, I didn't make the needle sharp Why does he need a basket if is head is the balloon?
1982Centrists_irlSorry I don’t like being lumped in with the racist extremists on one side, and the racist extremists on the other. The rational non-extremist people seem to be dwindling.
1983
1984None of us know what we’re doing, don’t be so full of yourself. We’re all idiotsSometimes I don't have the energy. I don't agree nor I disagreeThis meme has potential. Did anyone else notice that his head is *"full of hot air?"*
1985
1986I mean, me too thanks"Lol DAE think people who don't wanna genocide their enemies have no opinions?"It's truu doe, both side are morons Both sides are idiots.>When you watch Rick and Morty.
1987
1988FTFY.People don't hate centrists because they're centrists, they hate centrists because they're not on their side. When was the last time you said "that person is everything I disagree with, but at least they picked a side"I know how to sit on a fence. I can even sleep on a fence. The trick is lying face down with the post in your mouth. “They have a right to advocate for racial cleansing! You can’t just shut out opinions that disagree with your own!”
1989
1990To make myself clear. I am opposed to the idea that freedom of speech some how exempts you from any criticism and is shouted as if it is the solve all rebuttal. Freedom of speech is a two way street if you open your opinion up to a public forum that forum reacts with criticism both entities are well within their rights. Rights that i both agree with and support 
1991
1992The point im trying to make is you can’t say “but freedom of speech” at any criticism to make it go away because that criticism is just that, freedom of speech.Thankfully I can usually back it up, it works pretty well, the one group were a bunch of racial collectivists that liked white people so much that they hated other races, the other side were a bunch of social collectivists that believe that the opinions they disagree with should be silenced violently,including completely reasonable ones. Both sides are idiots.When you watch one episode of How It's Made EVERY ONE IS AN IDIOT
1993INCLUDING ME!Bet there’s a nice view from up there just sayingWell both sides are fucking idiots Libertarians basicallyBecause both wont let to play on their team? Libertarian[Hi boys...](https://i.imgur.com/o716sGG.png)haha this is not so me irl, I'd have to have friends to end an argument like that.
1994
1995I mean me too thanksIs that MTV's "The Head"? https://i.imgur.com/gVX0L2l.jpgYou killed the >tfw to intelligent memetbh i just don't give a shitWayne "The Brain" McClane irl*Duck Tales Moon Theme plays*When you watch Rick and MortyThis man obviously watches rick and morty1: "Both sides are idiots"
1996
19972: "but here's evidence that they're not"
1998
19991: "I think I'm a libertarian"
2000
20012: "wait what, but-"
2002
2003-Votes straight ticket Republican-
2004
20051: "man things never change..."Fuck the nazis and the Alt Left. As a freedom loving American I will personally fuck both in the ass with no condom or lubeRadical centrism in one pic This is what people say when they want to seem smart but really they don't want to have to think at all.**Fuck yeah. I absolutely love having politics injected into quite literally EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SUB ON THIS FUCKING SITE**Also known as the South Park method.r/Libertarian It doesn't NEED further explanation. Fucking look at them.Anyone getting The Head vibes? That show terrified me as a kid! 100% meirlhttps://i.imgur.com/fwjYNTW.gifThis sounds like the premise to an r/iamverysmart postSkitz?If the head is what’s making it float then his head must be full of hot air. Which implies that he’s stupid. Checkmate atheists I'ma save this to repost it in like a yearAll sides are idiots my own includedWe're are the mans nips NA vs EU He Definitely watches rick and mortyI feel personally attackedWaiting for a dick and Morty fans referenceIs centrist, can confirm. So, his head is full of hot air? That's how balloons work.My opinion on the U.S. electionEveryone is an idiot. Especially me.ExactlyI sit on the fence. The grass is always greenFull of hot air.Self explanatory, I believe.Both sides have their meritsThe only way for him to float is if his head is hollow The carriage is not made of brains...this is stupid.wouldn’t this picture be wrong? If you can float due to your expanded head, then you gotta have air or something lighter in it. This would have to mean that he is either heating up air in an empty brain cavity or has helium in it. The correct picture would be of someone drilling to the center of the earth with the weight of your brain or some representation of the weight of the brain mass.Wow. Wayne the Main Brain McClain from Aqua Teen anyone?https://twitter.com/dril/status/473265809079693312?lang=jaThe alt-center is really just the power forward.Is this how rick and morty fans get around?We are all idiots on this blessed day...Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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2008*****
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2010*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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2012*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*To be fairoh no has this become idpol?3edgy5meThat is fucking evil. It would backfire though if they said OK. I'd be gutted. I am the person who panics What if they say they're currently in the process of doing something and you're left looking desperate for companionship and human contact.
2013
2014Something something me too thanks.Nah, give them a time and a place you're going to meet up that they will agree to now and then be overcome with dread about when those plans approach and they have to leave their house and make painfully awkward conversation for 2 hours before making some stupid excuse about having to go finish up work. 👌👌👌👌I love it when people tell me that we should hang out sometime and I can say "sure how about next Wednesday". Watch them panicI've been friends with people like this before... No malicious intent, I don't think, they just have literally nothing else going on at the time - that mixed with low/no social skills or situational awareness - so that seems like an acceptable proposal to them. It's tough to explain that just because they're not busy doesn't mean that I have nothing going on either. Then sometimes they say "That's cool, I don't mind to tag along!" 
2015
2016:|The response to that is: "fuck yeah! Let's do this." Because you are a chill person who genuinely wants to hang and have a good time the sooner the better. This sub really is for socially awkward people lol most people actually do have stuff they're doing when they say that, and if they don't, then I'm sure they'd be glad to hang out right then. Believe it or not, most people are not actively trying to avoid you lolI wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemyThen they say yes and you start panicking, but neither of you want to back down and you get married.  That's how marriage works, right?My brother's mother in law recently found out how much time my parents were spending with their (her) grandson. She was quite jealous and asked why she never got to keep him overnight or go on little outings with him. They let her know she could have him anytime starting immediately, then offered multiple dates. Mother in law has come up with excuse after excuse but still has not pffered to babysit once.id be so stoked if someone said that to me.
2017That takes confidence 😐I guess people around me are worried I would respond this way so they never suggest to 'hang out sometime' in the first place>Has friends who want to hang out with me
2018
2019>Has friends
2020
2021
2022/r/absolutelynotme_irlI don't know anyone that wellI mean, that's why they say "sometime" and not "now"Bonus - when they give you a nervous laugh, follow up immediately with, "I'm serious."Look I don't remember you I don't know you I don't care"Awh can't im already doing something"
2023
2024
2025.... real panic mode ITT: People talking about how others would freak out when they exactly know that they would be the ones freaking outwhat if they say alright. im not ready! not ever ready.What if they say OK and I start to panic?
2026
2027WHAT NEXT?Nobody ever fucking means it when they tell me that. They just go back to ignoring my texts and ghosting me again. My cousins do this to meGive them a heart attackpull a smoke bomb-ball off my utility belt and throw it down only to disappear behind the puff of bat smokeWhy would you propose to hang out although you don't want to actually hang out ?I looked at this for far to longDamn now I have to say "we should hang out sometime, but not right now".I think this is exactly what happened in the new movie The Circle.ew no what if they say yes and IM obliged to socialise nah fuck that https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AISLBrQ-ODENice try, Grandmar/ShittyLifeProTipsLet's hang out!
2028Umm ummm ummm...This screenshot was taken with a Galaxy phone, I bet.Please noI should have done this more in college, I would have made friends in my classes and degree instead of just friends of friends of friends.  Thanks for the anxiety"Okay, what do you want to do?" Put them on the spot and make THEM panic.What to do is say "oh yea? Hold on, gotta make a quick call and then we can do something" then before they can say anything, just start dialing a number and fake getting on a call so they can't say anything to you without being rude. Then after your minute long fake short call (for extra lulz make it seem like you're breaking plans with someone else), be like "okay ready - what do you wanna do?" THEN watch them squirm as it'll feel that much harder to say they didn't mean right then.I'm sweating now Come visit me in Tallahassee, my door is always openA friend said that to me, I texted to see if he wanted to hang out, didn't get a response. Should've done this.I don't know why, but in my head I read this in the voice of Tom Segura.Literally just did this an hour ago. Still haven't heard back, lolThey would just pretend they don't know me or didn't see me. I know you saw me and remember me but I also remember what a bitch you were so thank you.I'd just say I'm heading to work or class (life of a college student). It's worked before and I will hope it'll work once again Step 1: Go to a bar.
2029
2030Step 2: Socialize with random people.
2031
2032Step 3: Repeat step 2 for a few hours.
2033
2034Step 4: Call random people you got the number of and keep them to the promises they made the night before.
2035
2036Step 5: Hilarious awkwardness.
2037
2038"WHAT!? You mean you DON'T actually want to take me hunting!? Well, I never!"I did this once. It was late, I was walking around Brooklyn with my oldest brother who had just moved back to BK after a stint abroad. We were aimless, wandering between bars. I ran in to a friend on the street, he had just bounced from a party because it sucked. He said we should hang some time and I said "why not now?" He said sure, so went to a nearby bar none of us has been to and got sufficiently stinko. Shared some stories and laughs, had a great time!
2039
204010/10 would unexpectedly hangout again.Netflix and hang? Ha ha, good one. People don't invite people to hang out, silly!"yeah sure, call me whenever"
2041
2042Never hear from them again. Lol so true! Don't make yourself too available.That is so trueThis is basically college though.Knowing me this would backfire but I'm awkward enough to give it a shot. If they say yes I'll act like something just came up or say another time would be better...Now I just need to run into someone I knowLeave the house??
2043
2044/r/absolutelynotmeirl Right? They were going to try the old razzle dazzle where they tell you they want to hang out with you but they actually don't want to hang out with you. Twats. this works great in Seattle. "hang out now" makes most Seattleites flee back to California in seconds.I'd probably just say yes and hang out with them..that would result in a hangout if you used it on meThanks, OP. Now, I'm stuck at Starbucks with my old high school Biology teacher.Or they just say no. Like this: "let's hang out sometime!" Y:" Let's hang out right now." T:" No."ReeeeepostI'm never ready to hang out right nowThen whip your dick outA buddy asked me out to lunch some time ago. 
2045
2046 I went to lunch dazed because it wasn't a part of my plan. But then if they ARE ready to hang out now, I'm screwed. :cthat would be sweet I mean... I was planning on spending my evening alone or something like that I'm socially stupid. When people say, "Let's hang out sometime" I always think they mean it. I would just never say that if I didn't actually want to hang out with the person. I dunno, it's like words have some actual meaning behind them or something. Unrelatable, no one ever wants to do anything with me :(Hang on there Satan Idk, how bad would it be to just go have a beer with someone you knew?[deleted]Why? The? Panicking? I? Don't? Get? It? Brain? Lesion? That's one of the better responses I've seenI wish the plural of anus was ani./r/wholesomememesAlways ask nicely and get their safeword. >has sex
2047
2048/r/absolutelynotme_irlConsent, stops rape every time. 
2049
2050edit: this is ~~coming dangerously close to becoming~~ my top comment, mind if we slow this down a little? m'anusWake up Dr. AnalThrasher69... wake up and smell the violationThis screenshot is so old that the thumbs down button actually worked on YouTuber/wholesomeanalthrashingWhy do 3/4 of every youtube comments use the wrong your/you're?And they say chivalry is dead.Forget not the 69 which follows the anal thrashing.thanks for sharing My time to shine...how does one do anal and 69????
2051
2052threesome?How does one negotiate a good thrashing?Fair enough.This just brighten my day. Two consenting adults: get ‘em done! Needs more jpeg artifactsAlways ask first/r/wholesomememesSafe word: WisconsinAnd thats the main differenceOddly wholesome ...!?!?a true american hero.Ani should become the plural of anusI really need to see how young they're talking because they didn't exactly touch on the 'young girls' part.We take butts seriously around here.Violators need to be taken seriously  He only said that he asks, he never implied that he listens ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)SameGentleman.r/NotKenMDid not see the sub i was inr/wholesomememesWow what a gentlemanDoes chicksinprofilepic think that anal can't be consensual?Pardon me Madam, would you like a anal thrashing ?/u/Clark-Joseph "Im not a monster!" -AnalThrasher69Ani * pronounced a-NI -plural form of Anus Miss the old comment system?Haha yes you're*I may be going out on a limb here, but there's always the possibility that he is simply an anal thrasher, not an Anal Thrasher...maybe even born on June 9thCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2053&nbsp;
2054
2055*****
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2057*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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2059*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Nani?!?Always ask before you thrashDon't make me go thrash my OWN anus to prove a point!Now that's a man of honorPlural anusi?It's *YOU'RE* goddammit. Heil mein Murray! Lol
2060
2061Edit: haha guys don’t make this my most upvoted commentneeds more jpeg/r/bonehurtingjuice/
2062My knuckle has had a purple hue to it for a month now, and it hurts a bit. But I don't want to go to the doctor because I might have to confess a mild anger management issue...Heckin' heck, OP. I'm sitting here at work at 30 icing and elevating my ankle because last night it decided I'm not allowed to walk anymore while my friend (I only have one, don't worry, still meirl) might need to cancel our once a year weekend plans due to a back injury.25 year old with 8 years of chronic sacral iliac dysfunction (and let’s be honest arthritis at this point)  checking in. This is my life haha thanks OP got a good laugh 😆 Top it off with low self esteem, no social life, and a lack of any type of motivation and you’ll get one 20 year old disappointment :)young, dumb and full of... you know ;)You rang?Join the military, and experience arthritis 30 years before everyone else!>Moderate to severe plaxoriasis
2063
2064ftfy>hot
2065
2066r/absolutelynotme_irlAt 22 I crashed my BMX and landed on my lower back. It hurt for a good hour after but then I thought nothing of it. A few days later I noticed a lump on my hip bone/lower back. It was ok for about a year but then started to cause discomfort and now at 25, I cant sit for more than an hour without major discomfort. Really sucks for travel.I'm 27 and have Rheumatoid arthritis, this shit is toooo real. /r/ehlersdanlos/r/goutRheumatoid_irlErgonomic injuries are the second worst thing about my job. >young
2067
2068>severe joint pain
2069
2070>hot
2071
2072One of these is not true for me, can you guess?/r/BJJAgreedWhere the social anxiety? Check this.  30 yr old with moderate to severe joint pain.  Probs rheumatoid arthritis?  Pending bloodwork.  Anyway,  this shit was intense,  especially at night.  I looked up medicine prescribed, and its pretty intense also. Not great for long term use.  Anyway I say fuck that.  I'll heal myself.  Probiotic,  fish oil,  vitamin d&c,  and other vits. I've cut out meat,  dairy and processed foods.  Also increased cardio.  Doesn't sound fun at all right?  Well I feel AMAZING!  joint pain is slowly but surely going away. YOU CAN DO IT TOO!  just take care of your body..  That is all As someone with fibromyalgia since I was an early teen, this hits home.Me too, thanks.Fybromyalgia?oof ow my jointsMy 19 year old ass with chronic lyme disease since I was 7 😩👌🏻Actually me_irl
2073
2074Football fucked my knees/shoulders up pretty badJust like batman, I have no cartilage left in my knees yay! 20 with ankle and hip problems as well. Oh and sometimes the cartilage inbetween my ribs tears a little. Saving up to see a physio/doctor/miracle worker tbhChecking in as a 25 year old male with Lupus Nephritis. I'd high five you, but my sciatica**CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY**
2075
2076
2077*Naughty madlibs for uncreative politically correct Millennials*That's me lately!/r/SSBMIf you're a somewhat healthy individual I really recommend biking, it helps with the kneesIt's mainly to do with how I masturbate and laying in bed all day I think the ‘secret card’ hidden in the box would’ve been just perfect here. I'm in pain reading this not just emotionally I cut open my finger a second ago Hey it's me, but hotActually me_irl. I was Diagnosed with Arthritis at 8.Me every morning.metoothanksI haven't even begun to peak!!Literally me & I turn 25 in 2 days So true. Everything but the hot part. I mean yeah, I guess Cards against humanity is funny, but you're not going to post every hilarious combination you get.Me af. Yay JHS! /r/Crohnsdisease 😫depressionArmy airborne feels me irlTore my ACL last year and had surgery to replace it, just started running again, sprained ankle twice, and and now badly bruised under patella of same knee XD The feels. 34 yr old who just had my s.i. Joint fused on the left side. I don’t know what’s worse, pre or post surgery. MesothalemiaThat was me! Turns out it was a rare and aggressive form of bone cancer and now I'm just full of crippling medical debt and failures. [r/drumcorps_irl](http://www.reddit.com/r/drumcorps)literally, knees fucked and I'm only 22Marine Corps in a nutshell Love this r/bjj is leaking Hand and knee surgery at 26. Yeah this is fucking every day This is way too real. Sigh. My husband hates this game. Not sure whyThis truly is meirlr/feelsbadmanStory of my life Not even gonna mention the r/cardsagainsthumanity repost?As a 22 year old with Ross river fever this hits too close to home26 with scoliosis, life's a bitchOOFsame... effing same...this is truly meirl. AS and juvenile arthritis are ass on their own but I got the double whammy.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2078&nbsp;
2079
2080*****
2081
2082*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2083
2084*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*I tried rock climbing once and it was super fun. Since then I have had severe pain and mobility issues preventing me from doing anything requiring the use of my left hand, such as rock climbing.Fish oil and glucosamine my dudesStretch your body every day. Morning and evening and add some exercise. Be patient. Trust me. >I am looking for someone who has two thumbs  
2085
2086Smh at people and their high standards nowadays> i was born in the dark
2087
2088...Bane?>I like turtles I like dogs and I like to party
2089
2090what a hero Trips to the mechanic really do add up. I'd date an alcoholic flat earther for that type of access.[removed]My name is **human**
2091My age **of anxiety**
2092I live **in spanish**
2093I was born **in spanish**
2094My body is **telling me yes**
2095> being found in human form
2096
2097me too thanksMy favorite is how your body type is ready. Name:
2098
2099My name is **Earl**.
2100
2101Age:
2102
2103My age is **in French**.
2104
2105Location:
2106
2107I live in a **fantasy world**.
2108
2109Nationality:
2110
2111I was born in **the dark**.
2112
2113Body type:
2114
2115My body is **ready**.
2116
2117I am looking for:
2118
2119I am looking for **a job** who enjoys **most during intercourse** and has **or have**. 
2120
2121I enjoy:
2122
2123I enjoy **being a girl**, I like **you**, I like **turtles**, I like **trains** and I like **it**.
2124
2125My ideal partner would be:
2126
2127A person who **investigates unknown regions**, who can **sign passport photo**, and who thinks **the world is flat**. 
2128
2129My turn ons are:
2130
2131Hugging and **a kissing with Fred**. 
2132
2133My turn offs are:
2134
2135Being **human** and being **herded into the endless**. 
2136
2137I TOO DISLIKE BEING FOUND IN HUMAN FORM, FELLOW HUMAN
2138
2139/r/totallynotrobotsSave some for the rest of us...You merely adopted the dark, I was born in it. > my ideal partner would be a person who is addicted to alcohol who can fix my car and thinks the earth is flat
2140
2141im a little worried tbhbest content i've seen on the internet in a whileWe have the exact same interests. I died at 
2142
2143"My body is *ready*">Being found in my human form 
2144
2145/r/meirlMy name is **Jeff**  
2146My age i**n days**  
2147I live in a **nameless town lyrics**  
2148I was born in **spanish**  
2149My body is **ready**  
2150I am looking for**ward to hearing from you**  
2151I enjoy **being a girl**  
2152I like **turtles**  
2153A person who **dances professionally**, who **can it be now** and who thinks **daedalus**  
2154Hugging and **sleeping**  
2155Being **human**I enjoy your company and I have to go to the store and get a new one.
2156
2157My Google suggestion are weird.I'm super not depressed, but I look at these and wonder why i agree with you guys so much This made me full on laugh in public, have an upvote! This got progressively funnier Oh lolMy name is EARL
2158My age is WRONG ON TINDER
2159I live WITH MY MOM IN SPANISH
2160
2161ALL CAPS BECAUSE IDK HOW TO BOLD.Finally make it on me_irl, didn't post it myself. Dammit.My name is David.
2162
2163My age is a year older than me. 
2164
2165I live in a very small town. 
2166
2167I was born in the middle of the year. 
2168
2169My body is a little more than a year old. 
2170
2171I am looking for a job that I can use for my own business. 
2172
2173 I enjoy working with people and I am very interested in the job.  I like the way I am. 
2174
2175My ideal partner would be a person who is a good friend of mine, who is a great guy and who thinks he is a good guy. 
2176
2177My turn ons are hugging and I am not sure what to do with it. 
2178
2179My turn offs are being used for a long time and being able to get a job in the middle of the day. My name is *jeff*
2180
2181My age i*n cat years*
2182
2183I live in *a constant state of fear and misery*
2184
2185I was born *by the river*
2186
2187My body is *a cage*
2188
2189I am looking for *a place to hide* who enjoys *more man or woman* and has *been*
2190
2191I enjoy *your company*, I like *måte* (this is Norwegian for likewise), I like *the flowers* and I like to *move it*
2192
2193(my ideal partner would be) 
2194A person who *never made a mistake never tried anything new* who can *say where the road goes* and who thinks (nothing came up) 
2195
2196(my turn ons are) 
2197Hugging and *kissing and loving and squeezing*
2198
2199(my turn offs are) 
2200Being *John Malkovich* and being *a good citizen*I lost it at a turn off being 'found in my human form'My turn ons are: depression, DUDE that's exactly meMy name is **Jeff** I live **in the trash** I am **scared of coming out to my parents because I fear they will overreact** and I like **women**
2201
2202what the actual ..My name is Rod and I like to party.My name is **Colin**
2203My age is **a good time**
2204I live in **the United States**
2205I was born in **the morning**
2206My body is **a good time**
2207
2208
2209I am looking for **a job in your company**
2210 who likes **to be a part of the team** and has **a lot of usernames**
2211
2212
2213I enjoy **the outdoors** I like **it but I don't know if you have any questions please feel free to contact me at any time** I like **to do the same thing as you**
2214
2215My ideal partner would be a person who is **the client**
2216
2217Who can **make it to the meeting tonight**
2218
2219And who **knows what the hell is going on**
2220
2221My turn ons are hugging **and kissing you and your family**
2222
2223My turn offs are being **alone** and being **able to get the money to you**Help, he is doxxing me.I was born in the dark. You were simply adopted by it.~~BEGIN LAUGH PROTOCOL~~ HA HA, I TOO CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH BEING FOUND IN HUMAN FORM, AS I AM A FELLOW HUMAN MUCH LIKE YOU ~~MEATBAGS~~ CARBON BASED LIFE FORMS. IT SEEMS WE ARE ~~87.647%~~ VERY COMPATIBLE This post is a good time to come over and play with your little one and I will be there at the same time. I don't have a car so I can get a ride to the airport on mobile and I will be there for the first time in a long line, at this point I don't think I can make that work if you want to come by and I can do it for you.
2224 Hardest I've laughed in awhile**Name**
2225
2226My name is **Earl**.
2227
2228**Age**
2229
2230My age **in korea**.
2231
2232**Location**
2233
2234I live **with models**.
2235
2236**Nationality**
2237
2238I was born **under a wandering star**.
2239
2240**Body type**
2241
2242My body is **ready**.
2243
2244**I am looking for**
2245
2246I am looking for **freibier** who enjoys **the rank of cabinet minister in union cabinet** and has **made us kings and priests**.
2247
2248**I enjoy**
2249
2250I enjoy **myself**. I like **to move it**. I like **the flowers** and I like **it**.
2251
2252**My ideal partner would be**
2253
2254a person who **listens to your problems and tries to help you**, who can **relate** and who thinks **of the baby**.
2255
2256**My turn ons are**
2257
2258hugging and **sleeping**.
2259
2260**My turn offs are**
2261
2262being **as an ocean** and being **blue is better than being over it**.Being found in human form always killed the mood for me toohey pal, guess who has depression, an alcohol problem, and two thumbs? this gal. 
2263
2264I'll await your message.My name:
2265
2266My name is that not a big fan of the year coming to go home on the system on a good start I'll just be here by 1st draft costume is too revealing that the railway line at least once here in bed with the laumcher is it just a plan for this long time no speak tomorrow if you're still about the time of the year coming to go home on my 3-hour or something dropped from the ceiling in bed with a colleague they do some goof and it is v late to the pub with jamie Oliver has to ve and it was your face is all day tomorrow so i t's for the next month we will ask you to show me your history it's okay to wait till then we shouldn't be in the shower soon and arrange a little bit of existentialism the whole time to be alive and well tonight but maybe the time of the year coming to do that for the next month and it is my request that this cyclical locomotive would refrain from the ceiling in a lot of peopleI did this once too, I wonder where it is nowMy name is this My age is just I live in the whole I was born in the whole My body is this propagandaMy name is the best. My age is just a little more than one. I live in the future. I was born in the past. My body is capable of handling the situation.This entire post & comments section is so hilarious I couldn't help but giggle like a drunk Ron Swanson. who has two thumb and enjoys listening to sad music??  
2267*this guy*My name is a highway 
2268My age is the same 
2269I live in the same way 
2270I was born in the same way
2271My body is a highway Name  
2272My name is **not going on the article**
2273
2274Age  
2275My age is **so what**
2276
2277Location  
2278I live in **a different world but if you are the only person I can find I don't want to you know**
2279
2280Nationality  
2281I was born in **a lot but it is probably not a dream that you would like it**
2282
2283I am looking for  
2284I am looking for **the same thing to me and you** who enjoys **a different genre than a lot but you have a different genre and you should have it on your profile** and has **been a nice mother**
2285
2286I enjoy  
2287I enjoy **it so that it is a bit difficult when I try** I like **to see** I like **to have the article** and I like **that you are the kind that I would have been**
2288
2289My ideal partner would be  
2290A person who **has been to a random house with an old nemesis** who can **make the most difficult times for a different time** and who **thinks the most difficult things to go is the best thing ever**
2291
2292My turn-ons are  
2293Hugging and **the person that I am not**
2294
2295My turn-offs are  
2296Being **a nice guy** and being **able he can do a bit of a different way**
2297
2298---
2299
2300*Comment: I certainly would not call myself a "nice guy". I am a nice person but I'm not a basement dweller. The "friend zone" is not real and fedoras do not look good, esp so when combined with a god damn t-shirt lol*my name is **lenny**
2301
2302my age is **wrong on tinder**
2303
2304i live in **the town of faringdon**
2305
2306i was born **under a wandering star**
2307
2308my body is **a cage**
2309
2310i am looking for **someone**
2311
2312i like to **make stuff**
2313
2314my life **is a mess**ITT: Deepmind Madlibs [**M Y  B O D Y  I S  R E A D Y**](http://i.imgur.com/yd4rj6W.jpg)The being found in human form really seals it. Best way to end the profile. ITT: people quoting the image that they saw two seconds ago. 
2315
2316I mean me too thanks Hugging and depression XD >I like turtlesI like this post because **reasons**Reminds me of [this](http://explosm.net/comics/2328/).
2317I miss Mad-libs My name is Jeff
2318My age is in French
2319My location is wrong
2320I was born in the wrong generation
2321My body is ready
2322I am looking for someone to share in an adventure
2323Who enjoys most during intercourse and pregnancy
2324I enjoy being a girl
2325I like trains, I like turtles and I cannot lie.
2326My ideal person would be a person with the inability to feel touch, a person who conducts operations, and who walks over the earth.
2327My turn ons are hugging and depression
2328My turn offs are having a baby and being fully persuaded.
2329 
2330 Being found in human form is such a turn off for me toobrilliant idea !My name is not the same as the most recent update 
2331My age is just the right thing 
2332I was born in this country 
2333I enjoy playing with the best thing 
2334My turn offs are you "No I like to party."My name is always so cute   
2335My age is not bad   
2336I live in the studio   
2337I was born in today   
2338My body is still getting stuck on my face   
2339My ideal partner would be a person who is a good one for the best and dad.   
2340  
2341Right...
2342I like turtlesNot sure what I like best. Hugging and depression or being found in human formWhat the fuck haha"Being found in human form"
2343
2344Uhhhhhhhhh okthe "d" in "dogs" isn't boldMy name is in my opinion 
2345
2346My age is so weird 
2347
2348I live in a city 
2349
2350I was born in the hospital 
2351
2352My body is just broken
2353
2354I am looking for someone who is trying not to get a job who enjoys playing the same stuff and has some sort of strategy I like turtles Ahaha I lost it at the "being found in human form" part
2355He also likes turtles
2356
2357https://youtu.be/CMNry4PE93YThis is the profile of a serial killerI'm not sure if you want that person fixing your car.hugging and depression? idk necessarily that I have a type, but that might be it.  I thought I lost it on turn ons but turn offs takes the cake.My name is grandma. My age is grandma. I live in rural. I was born in the morning. My body is broken. I am looking for a few days now. I enjoy being nuts. my ideal partner would be a stranger. My turn on's are unexpectedly closed. My turn offs are you.My name is that I can do my age is just a bit I live in a little more I was born in the future my body is a difficult situation I am looking for food I enjoy being slow a person who is the driveshaft you can seeMy ideal partner would be a person **who has type A blood**My age is **so annoying.**
2358
2359I live in **the cities.**
2360
2361I was born in **the wrong way.**
2362
2363My body is **hungry.**
2364
2365I am looking for **a new car** who enjoys **a ride home** and has **a little bit of fun.**
2366
2367I enjoy **the game**. I like **the way you can go back to Facebook** and I like to **think.**
2368
2369My ideal partner would be a person who **can drive** and who **thinks they are the wrong person.**
2370
2371My turn ons are hugging and **her cat.**
2372
2373My turn offs are being **nice** and being **a little girl.**I was born *to love you* ^lyrics[I like turtles](http://imgur.com/RAWN9ir.jpg)My name is *the best* 
2374
2375My age is *a bit more than a year ago* 
2376
2377I live in *poverty* 
2378
2379I was born in *the UK*
2380
2381My body is *a political journalist*
2382
2383I am looking for *someone who is this one* who enjoys *the role of the best* and has *the ability to work with a team of thrones* 
2384
2385I enjoy *working with people and people who are passionate about their own skills and abilities*
2386
2387I like *to think that the best way to fight is to get the rocket back*
2388
2389I like *the opening of the best I've seen on the line* and I like *to think that the only way to get the rocket is to get the rocket* 
2390
2391My ideal partner would be a person who *is this one of the best I've ever seen* who can *be improved using the comment section* and who thinks *it is worth a read*
2392
2393My turn ons are hugging and *the same thing* 
2394
2395My turn offs are *being used to be a boy* and being *able to take this opportunity to see the full range of the products* 
2396
2397I like turtles!d**ogs**R/totallynotrobots BEST OF LUCK ON YOUR SEARCH FOR...LOVE...FELLOW HU-MAN.OMG that is so great. I couldn't stop giggling. "My body is ready"
2398
2399*Oh*I was born in the dark, molded by it. I didn't see the light until I was a man and by then it was nothing but blinding. And people fear AI will take over... My name is Earl. My age is in Spanish. I live in LA. I was born by the river. My body is ready. 
2400
2401I am looking for someome to share in and adventure and who enjoys listening to sad music and his name is John Cena.
2402
2403I enjoy being a girl. I like turtles and older men.
2404My name is the RT My age is just a few days I live in a few days ago I was born in the future My body is a good timeOmg best thing ever😂laughed so hardI also like a good woman who thinks the world is flatHüggįńg & dęprëśśįōñbody type: readyThat's actually pretty dang funny/u/WaterGuy12he says it *may* be. It's actually shit.>
2405>my body is [Ready](https://youtu.be/mnUbXOeJaKI)I  L I K E  T U R T L E S/u/waterguy12About meDammit, I posted it early but I made the mistake of editing out the tweet."My turn ons are hugging and depression"My name is **human**
2406
2407My age is **slim shady** 
2408
2409I live in **the morning**(LIES.)
2410
2411I was born **by the river**
2412
2413My body is **a cage**
2414
2415I am looking for **a job** who enjoys **most during intercourse** and has**n't gotten up since**
2416
2417I enjoy **being a girl** I like **being alone** I like **the way you move** and I like **it**
2418
2419
2420A person who is **counted as unemployed by the bls is** who can **get bls certified** and who thinks **daedalus** (I have no idea what bls is.)
2421
2422Hugging and **kissing a dead person in a dream.**
2423
2424Being **Mary Jane** and being **and being assembled together with them**
2425
2426
2427
2428Totally not robots at the endI too hate being found in human formMISSING: **Aesop Rock** Missing From: **Civilized Society** Date Missing: **A While Ago** Age: **?** Sex: **Definitely** Height: **Tall** Weight: **Heavy Thinker** Build: **Under Construction** Eyes: **Closed** Hair: **Cut** Race: Clothing: **Last seen wearing a scowl and a middle finger. Sometimes wears a smile, but only on occasion.**My name is literally the only one where the facts about the guy who the hell out of the universalist church on Sunday and Monday and Tuesday are you still have the rifle he's still a little bit of a common sensist group of the universalist church.../r/autocompletedating has now been created, founded upon this very idea! Feel free to join and make a submission :)now THAT'S WHAT I CALL A MEME I SAW SIX MONTHS AGOR. R. R. R. . . . . REEEEPOOOOOST! My name is GOOBER 
2429My age is A LITTLE MORE TIME WITH THE KIDS
2430I was born in A POOL OF GASOLINE
2431I live in the THE KITTY 
2432I'm looking for someone who DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION
2433I enjoy DOMINATION 
2434My biggest fear is being HONEST
2435
2436Jesus christ."Being found in human form"My name is not gay 
2437I was born with my mom 
2438My age is really cool 
2439I like the fact that I can get more friends with my friends 
2440I dislike you 
2441I'm from a burning house 
2442Bot, I demand you deliver unto me another meme!I would be pissed too if someone found me in my human form.How did you find my dating profileMy name is **the best.**
2443
2444My age is **the best.**
2445
2446I live in a **small town.**
2447
2448I was born in **the last few days.**
2449
2450My body is **the best.**
2451
2452I am looking for **a job in your company.**
2453
2454I enjoy **the outdoors and I can hear it all in one day.** I like **the idea of a tight schedule.**
2455
2456My ideal partner would be a person **who is this and what is the best.** Who can **help me with this.** Who thinks **it's a bit of a tight schedule.**
2457
2458
2459My turn ons are **you gonna be home and I will be there at the same time.**
2460
2461
2462My turn offs are **you gonna be home and I will be there at the same time.***My body is ready*
2463So you say...Fake afYeah sure, because autocorrect only talks in memes I hate being found in human form too. I hate it when people find me in human form. My name is het and I am interested in the position you have posted on Craigslist for the job position I am in the area of interested in the position and would like to know more about the position you have available for me to take a look at your resume and I look forward to hearing from you soon about the position and I look forward to hearing from you soon about the position and I look forward to hearing from hearing from you soon about the position and I look forward to hearing from you soon about the position and"found in human form" Proof that's aliens are real.So the ideal partner is a suburban dad from tejas?u/waterguy12My name is bowie bowie 
2464
2465My age is that ok
2466
2467I live in the cupboard 
2468
2469I was born in the cupboard 
2470
2471My body is in the cupboard
2472
2473I am looking for a fan or something, someone who has a friend and someone to not kill themselves
2474
2475I enjoy it, I like to compliment people's lives, I like to do things and I like a half hour is fine
2476
2477My ideal partner would be someone who has a friend who lives in my house
2478
2479My turn ons are you 
2480
2481My turn offs are a mallet and a knife My name is Khan. My age is in french. I was born by the river. My body is a cage. I am looking for someone to share in an adventure. I like trains. My turn ons are hugging and depression. My turn off are you still watching netflix.Im looking for **a miracle**my name is the only one my age is just a few months i live in a couple of years i was born in a couple of years my body is capablemy name is **earl**  
2482my age is **in french**  
2483I live **in a house in french**  
2484I was born **in the stone age**
2485My body is **a cage**
2486
2487I am looking for **a house cleaner**  who enjoys **most during intercourse**, and has **been**
2488
2489I enjoy **being a girl**  I like **being alone** I like **you** and I like **to party**
2490
2491My ideal partner would be someone who is **given an award** who can **sign passport photo** and who thinks **the world is flat**
2492
2493My turn ons are hugging **and depression**    
2494My turn offs are **you** and **herded into endless**Human form is the worst Videos in this thread: [Watch Playlist &#9654;](http://subtletv.com/_r6r9n7a?feature=playlist)
2495
2496VIDEO|COMMENT
2497-|-
2498[MY BODY IS READY](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mIIOfF-5wg)|[+80](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6r9n7a/_/dl3nv94?context=10#dl3nv94) - My body is ready.
2499[Scrubs 2 Thumbs](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGTrWlzK3Ho)|[+79](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6r9n7a/_/dl3rkcu?context=10#dl3rkcu) - What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap?   *edit: And the winner is:
2500[Casey - Hamburgers and Hot Dogs too](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2Y_LmdfRC4&t=72s)|[+2](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6r9n7a/_/dl3wkfz?context=10#dl3wkfz) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2Y_LmdfRC4&t=72s
2501[Zombie Kid Likes Turtles](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMNry4PE93Y)|[+2](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6r9n7a/_/dl3tzo5?context=10#dl3tzo5) - He also likes turtles
2502[7 - The Test Chamber](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d6UQawTuBY)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6r9n7a/_/dl4l7wj?context=10#dl4l7wj) - Thank you for reminding me of the youtube clip (NSFW) where I first heard that song.
2503[Audioslave - I Am The Highway](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cy2ZUGc2mSs)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6r9n7a/_/dl3zhjt?context=10#dl3zhjt) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cy2ZUGc2mSs
2504[Developers](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMU0tzLwhbE)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6r9n7a/_/dl4ajy1?context=10#dl4ajy1) - Developers developers developers developers Developers developers developers developers Developers developers developers developers WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaAAA!!!! C'MOOOONNN!!!
2505[Mad Lib Theater with Kristen Wiig](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO2pP0nF6Fc)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6r9n7a/_/dl3nu3x?context=10#dl3nu3x) - Reminds me of this   (start at 3:23)
2506[When I'm The Regginator](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnUbXOeJaKI)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/6r9n7a/_/dl479uy?context=10#dl479uy) - my body is Ready
2507I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch. I'll keep this updated as long as I can.
2508***
2509[Play All](http://subtletv.com/_r6r9n7a?feature=playlist&ftrlnk=1) | [Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/SubtleTV/wiki/mentioned_videos) | Get me on [Chrome](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/mentioned-videos-for-redd/fiimkmdalmgffhibfdjnhljpnigcmohf) / [Firefox](https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/mentioned-videos-for-reddit)"My name is In French, and I like to party"
2510
2511"In French, I know for a FACT that you don't party!""My body is ready"
2512
2513Reggie took over, I see.I'm down, hit me up. I can be drunk and depressed while fixing your car.#Mad libs is going to sue you. You've been reported.
2514
2515*Delete or face the consequences*I'm starting to think that default profile picture was the one giving all the answers to these questions. It makes sense r/totallynotrobotsMy sides hurt this is too goodBody type: my body is **so itchy**.
2516
2517I am looking for a person **with constant sorrow**, who **enters without an invitation** and has **agoraphobia**.
2518
2519My ideal person would be a person who **is picky about budgeting and details**, who can **get a budgeting loan** and **who thinks they know everything**.
2520
2521My turn ons are **direct tv** and **internet**.My turn offs are 
2522B E I N G F O U N D I N H U M A N F O R MI just lost it at work when I read "my turn offs are being found in human form"Technological mad libs my name is *that* 
2523
2524my age is *a*
2525
2526i live in *the forest*
2527
2528i was born in *the same room as the woman*
2529
2530my body is *so tired of being woken up by a woman* 
2531
2532i am looking for *a woman woman who is a woman who enjoys a woman woman who is a woman and has a woman* 
2533
2534i enjoy *the game and then he he is a very good player*
2535
2536 i like *a man who knows what he he is* i like *men and men who have never been more like the one who had the right one to make a woman* and i like *men who would react to the character*
2537
2538a person who has ever been sexually attracted to is a gay gay people who are usually gay gay, who can be gay gay and bisexual transgender people and who thinks they are racist and racist is sexist and racist racist homophobic homophobic racist homophobic sexist homophobic racist homophobic homophobic racist 
2539hugging and a little girls is a woman 
2540being a gay gay people who are usually gay and gay gay people who are usually gay gay people who are usually gay 
2541
2542i didn't bother sorting out the end cause it got a little extremeCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2543&nbsp;
2544
2545*****
2546
2547*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2548
2549*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Reminds me of this https://youtu.be/kO2pP0nF6Fc (start at 3:23)That's why this is the better meirl sub unlike the other one that upvotes any craphttps://www.reddit.com/r/autocomplete_me_irl/
2550
2551Let's see if it sticks.You shouldn't give gold to unoriginal comments.Me neither, thanksHow he boss if only interviewing for jobhope I don't die Guys. Nobody should suck my dickYou're hired[under breath] holy shitHow does one become a reverse psychologist? Does the grad program give me four years of my life back?Don't send nudesUpvotes are annoying.This thread is just turning into opposite dayA reverse Psychologist would create traumas instead of resolving them? Yeah, this is how far down can you get.BOSS /r/muttersunderbreath: Holy shit, this guy's goodnot me too thanksBoss: you're not hired[wait a sec i think i kinda made this](https://www.reddit.com/r/comedynecromancy/comments/6nys12/comment/dke0w4h?st=1Z141Z3&sh=d0c8960c)
2552
2553you did good posting it here op, now more people can see itYou shouldn't.
2554And that's exactly why you will.How would that job even work?And so, they did.You're hired! When can you start?what is this unrelatable and unfunny low quality shit?hiredPlease come early in the morning tomorrow and we will get u start right away.HiredThis is the lowest tier of dad joke, upvotedFuck. You're goodNot a fan of the mods here'Ooohoho, I see what you did there. Sherry! get this man an orientation packet!'FUCKING NORMIE MEMES!
2555REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEÉLike seriously, I'm very under qualified for this position. Maybe you should see a P-psychiatristCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2556&nbsp;
2557
2558*****
2559
2560*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2561
2562*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*> you couldn't
2563
2564
2565FTFY*snaps* Yes.Me: Suddenly, I have AIDS.
2566
2567Doctor: I dont think it works like that, retard.
2568
2569Me: It will get me banned for pretty stupid reasons.
2570
2571Doctor: Banned from what.
2572
2573Me: Looks at cameraOldest joke in the book.Lmao [deleted]/r/thatHappened DANK  
2574A  
2575N  
2576KDon't give me gold. I have enoughTwin Peaks memes. Nice.http://i.imgur.com/A7pvUUz.png?1Or wrapped in plastic.fire walk with me too thanksGo and take your fucking guitar with you Used to joke with my wife that she had good taste in everything but men, and I had no taste, but could spot a great woman.  She eventually realized I was right, oh well. Next one will be even better, but I'll keep my opinions to myself.James Hurley always had the meanest stank face > <Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
2577
2578> <honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P
2579
2580http://www.bash.org/?369what are you talking about, James? you have me
2581im the only one you need, id gladly go on that bike
2582
2583oh James...Or fucking murdered[http://i.imgur.com/5bv6B2t.jpg](http://i.imgur.com/5bv6B2t.jpg)He's a character in the per-ka-later.just youStrange that twitter account is gone.  Sad. Thought I'd get more Hurley memes/r/2meirl4meirl
2584Or is, y'know, dead. Like right then, if I recognize the screenshot. Or maybe that they're a duplicitous murderer trying to frame you personally (BETCHA FORGOT ABOUT THAT ONE... and if you did you're lucky)This is getting too close to homeStory of my life before I met my wife.Definitely me irl.Just you...and I...My log will have something to say about thisMe too thanksCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2585&nbsp;
2586
2587*****
2588
2589*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2590
2591*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Sucks how every girl I'm into is either taken or has good taste in women.Me too 😡 thanksDon't forget lesbian!Russia are the Hyenas? /r/titlegoreOr is a flaming liberal SJWTaking shots at Microsoft? You're braver than I thought. [friendly chatter](http://imgur.com/a/jSYg9)This is why your corporate social media should just shitpost memes. 
2592
2593See the Sonic the Hedgehog Twitter. isnt yaoi gay chinese cartoon thingsHahah! I, too, hate corporations and advertising! Unless it's an AMA. I like being told about new products when it's a celebrity doing it. Or anything mentioning Bill Gates or Elon Musk, because they're totally awesome philanthropists and not selling products at all. Or any corporation that mentions Reddit, because I love being pandered to. 
2594
2595I especially hate Pepsi's new ad! Why would Pepsi make such an offensive Pepsi ad featuring people drinking Pepsi at a protest march? Didn't Pepsi realize that people would parody their Pepsi ad and put Pepsi cans in funny Pepsi-related situations Pepsi Pepsi Pepsi *Pepsi* Pepsi Pepsi?Wendy's anyone? 
2596
2597They get so much free advertising here on reddit just because people go all "look at these wacky antics, they must have put a wacky hothead intern in charge of twitter 😂😂😂" 
2598
2599Meanwhile the account is probably managed by a PR team that carefully chooses what they write. 
2600
2601EDIT: Okay, it seems that some of you don't share my view on advertising. I personally hate any and all advertising. Even worse when they try to pretend that they aren't pushing their shitty product. 
2602I have literally every source of ads blocked, except for real life and things that matter to me, such as various entertaining channels and websites, and I would love to keep it that way. When I come back home and browse my favorite shitpost subreddits, I hardly wish to look at thinly veiled burger advertisements. 
2603
2604Actually, whatever, it initially was just a comment about an annoyance and I don't really care about it that much. So if you like that kind of shit, whatever. You do you. What the fuck were they supposed to reply with? "Me too thanks"./r/wholesomememes comes to mind immediately.
2605
2606>reddit hivemind humanization and why pretending to be wholesome and loving in a circlejerk subreddit is a transparent karmawhoring tacticDang. Now I feel bad for being friendly on social media even though it's my job.Let us dissect the joke to kill it.
2607
2608* It implies that all marketing is inherently evil, no exceptions
2609
2610* Plenty of companies are on social media in order to handle feedback and customer complaints.  Remember when the Niantic Pokemon Go or the No Man's Sky twitter feeds were dead silence?
2611
2612* An alternative title for this presentation could be "No Shit, Sherlock""PR Worker Dehumanization and Why Shitting on People Just Trying to Make Advertising Less Jarring and Forceful is a Transparent Edgelord Tactic"
2613
2614- - -
2615
2616EDIT: Amusing that the responses continue to reframe it from the perspective of the corporation, despite my attempts to acknowledge that there's still a person on the other side of those tweets.  I guess none of the people below ever worked at a real company or met PR/marketing people before.
2617
2618Keep being edgy, kids!Ah shit son! They stuck it to the machine!...too bad the machine doesn't give a fuck. [source](https://twitter.com/Office/status/854439871129280514)/r/iamverysmartIs this supposed to be a deep dark secret?Doot dootThis is stupid though,you beg for attention on social media and then mock them for giving it to you? This is just pathetic honestly lol.Got heeeeeemmmmr/iamverysmartYeah no doy. Do you think the third largest publicly traded corporation cares about some kid's powerpoint presentation? Literally every company does this - including Arby's, where everyone shits themselves because they made a burger out of their favorite anime character. As transparent as some things might seem, they generally work better than you'd expect.  
2619Maybe their marketer genuinely wants to know because their day is suuuuper boring Sam Yaoi In Office culture that's a dick moveAs apposed to Wendy's which pretend to be mean and Arby's that are genuinely nice.Ironic...And now they get more eyeballs by posting it here, what if op is the corporate machine?I'm not showing this to my girlfriend. She's a social media ad manager for MS Office.I would do the same if I were talking to a disabled individual tooIt's for the class "Pointing out the obvious and irrelevant 101".People will try to be nice when trying to sell a product, how astounding. What the hell is next people discover the sky is blue?If only companies' customer service were this responsive.Sweet, didn't know that. Guess I have some catching up to do. TrololololllllAs the Product Marketing Manager for Office 365 I appreciate your honestyDaaaaaamn boiiiiiheres the actual tweet https://twitter.com/dilum_tharaka/status/855094946340024321Oh damn.So transparent they make the front page of Reddit?Can we please take a moment to clap for this guy? Ohhhhhh fuuuuuck get roasted, Microsoft xDWhy is no-one talking about Antie, the ant they killed in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids? Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2620&nbsp;
2621
2622*****
2623
2624*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2625
2626*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*This was posted eight days ago, and the JPEG artefacts are already showing. The Internet never fails to amuse me.Tastes salty.Anyone going to talk about the username in the picture? I thought Microsoft responding to a gay anime porn name was the best part. R/madladsthis is fake asf that user don't even exist on Twitter"Funny how most people like sex but dont want to get raped">artfucker1996
2627
2628meirlBukowski would definitely do thatWhat the fuck is going on hereWhere the hell is my meta existential angst and depression?I bet you're naked under all those cloths, slut.Judge me if necessary but whenever someone says that they love Bukowski or share too many quotes from him, I immediately believe that they are basic.
2629
2630Edit: ~~much~~ manyis there a sub for this kind of stuff? like people trying to make philosophical statements that just end up sounding stupid or getting getting called out?artfucker1996 is wise beyond their years. All 20 of them.Read this in Rick Sanchez's voicePretty sure he meant it as a metaphor for just bullshit in general. People will go out of their way to avoid small little annoyances in their day to day life but are content with just plopping down in their shit at home. It's not a great metaphor but I certainly don't think he meant it literally.I regularly take semen to the face am i missing a joke or is everyone just completely missing the point of the first quote?This Bukowski guy sounds just like Jaden Smith. What in the fuck is going on in this comment section The savagery is unnecessary yet crucial to this subreddit Kick Buttowskii read this in gradeaundera's voice I was once at Dolly's Splash Country in TN and it started raining.  People started huddling under the bridges in the lazy river to get out of the rain.  I've never seen anything so odd.  They were in waist deep water.isn't it funny how kids like to melt toy soldiers but don't want nuclear bombs detonating near themNot to mention rain is cold while tubs are usually hot.To be fair... artfucker1996 has a point...Haha he worked 10 years at the post office. I loved how much he hated and loved that placeHow I feel about most Charles Bukkaki quotesBukowski was a sensitive big mouth and he fought like a girl."people are disgusted by pigs but eat them for dinner"r/im14andthisisdeepPeople choose to have baths they don't choose to get caught in the rain.
2631
2632Sex would be a better comparison than food. "People run from random unexpected sex but actively encourage it from their partners!"
2633No shit, buddy.I regularly take apples to the face.I reglr aple p 2 fac I fucking loathe Charles Bukowski. Hello bestgunnitWhat're you doing outside of bestgunnit?I read this as, "shit in a bathtub full of water"That's so true.I think the quote is supposed to express the same idea as the comment. People get all finicky about the word "but".Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2634&nbsp;
2635
2636*****
2637
2638*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2639
2640*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*I went to lunch at work and when I got back, we got hit with massive flooding out of no where.
2641
2642I ran inside to work but I was just soaked from head to toe and just kept working by a fan until I dried.
2643
2644That was when I learned to always keep a spare set of clothes in the locker because working for 3 hours in soaking wet clothes was really shitty.Thanks artfucker1996!>artfucker1996Somewhat related, if you ever get the chance to take a walk during a heavy daytime lightning-thunder-rainstorm in the middle of summer, do it.  I did this past summer in swim shorts and a T-shirt, and it was awesome.  The lightning was some of the craziest I've seen in the past few years, and was especially impressive being out in it.  The thunder was a bit loud though, had to cover my ears a bit.  Even as someone not as all scared by storms, the whole thing was a little freaky, but seriously cool.  The rain was nice too because it was so warm being that it was in the middle of a hot summer.
2645
2646I suppose you *could* get hit by lightning, but it seems unlikely, and I survived, so why not try?"God, who would want to be such an asshole." Artfucker 1996 got me real goodBukowski: I just got to college and printed cusses are cool.Hahaha fuck you buttowskianyone seen his movie Barfly? Did I miss something because that movie was bizarre and I hated itWhen you want a a good support but not a team of supportspssh like i'd eat healthy food*Signed, artfucker1996*I regularly take apples to the face.Good ole artfucker1996!Every time this shit is posted. He's saying people bitch about problems from other sources while living in their own shit. 
2647
2648For example, somebody would bitch about a speeding ticket (rain), after choosing to speed (bath). 
2649
2650Complain about an overdraft fee (rain) while being awful with finances (bath). 
2651
2652Blame women for not dating them (rain) while being a disgusting neck beard (bath). 
2653
2654I mean me too, thanks.  I regularly take apples to the face.Redditors get so bored sometimes... Well yeah that's right. That quote is fucking retarded just like most quotes are.I often take apples to the face.I regularly take apples to the face.I regularly take apples to the face.I regularly take apples to the face.RektThis image is older than bukowski himselfUsername checks out. I regularly take apples to the cafe.I regularly take apples to the face.I regularly take apples to the face. I regularly take apples to the face.I regularly take apples to the face. I take apples to the face regularlyRektI regularly take applesI regularly take apples to the face.The Karma gods don't give a fuck.I am  sorry for your loss tbh, getting the front page is kinda just chance. I posted a meme (which I indeed did not make), and it got 0 upvotes, then someone posted the same meme to the same subreddit 18 minutes later and got 20kI used to have one really high upvoted submission on /r/trashy that was a pic of my best friends trashy cousin sitting naked on a toilet, set as her fb profile pic. I had one that was sorta highly upvoted that was a much less trashy picture of same said cousin's brother holding some sort of assault rifle and trying to look like a badass. The second mentioned post was stolen by buzzfeed for an article titled something like "trashiest things to ever happen on the internet." I'll never understand why they chose the less funny picture, but the person in the picture found the buzzfeed article and my friend asked me to take down the original source before it caused a bunch of family drama. Luckily buzzfeed doesn't credit their sources like ever so we were never found out. The second post title is clearly formatted much better than yours. Although, addressing Reddit as Reddit is annoying, it’s still a better title. With me it's usually my post gets pulled for some obscure rule violation, then the same post goes up the next day and it's fine and has 10k comments. you vs the guy she tells you not to worry aboutkeep reposting til it worksWoo front page50/50 chanceI'd say its because "holy shit it worked!" sounds surprised but happy that something working, where as "holy shit, that worked?" sounds like the person saying it doesn't quite believe that something worked, like they had absolutely rock-bottom expectation to begin with, which seems slightly more fitting for your average reddit users.  It's because of your usernames, I would not respond to any threads by the dankest memez
2655
2656wait...Maybe the key word is "Top"?Here have your lost karma.Holy shit that workedNSalonga26: "Holy shit, that worked?" Top answer for what didn't work One of the reasons I dislike RedditWe are all just dogs chasing karmas...Learn to grammar!Holy shit it worked!FShe's a cruel mistress.Now this is your "holy shit, that worked?" momentholy shit it worked!/r/karmacourtThe vibe just wasn't rightHoly shit, it worked!Possibly the one guy that downvoted you had remembered this picture from however long ago, and people saw it had 0 upvotes so instinctually assumed it was a shit post before even reading it. This guy probably evaded some downvoted just early enough to gain traction.bi feel like this happens all the time. I've been praised for a repost of lesser quality and been stuck at "0" on OC that I feel would have done better. Proper grammar rules everything around me.I mean, that's what you get for trying to karma-whore, not that the other person is any better.  Then again, that's all r/AskReddit is, if you actually want people's stories and anecdotes, you can just search the question. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen a very similar question on the front page of that sub and r/allYou gotta have "top" in itAll about the grammar...You gotta punctuate more broreddit likes grammar alot.. TIL. The best part of this is that this happened to me and I made a post about it and got downvotedYou forgot to address your audience Can I get a link to the second one?This happened to me a lot a while back, reason I stopped doing askredditThe fact it's literally you as well. I'm sorry man at least this post blew up in response. Holy shit, that workedAt least you got 20k karma by doing that. It's gallowboob all over againMy Reddit experience in a nutshell.tbh the one in the bottom is better phrased than the one on topIt's all in the punctuation!?Let's all up vote u/le_dankest_memez to help em out of this depression 
2657
2658Edit: oh shit, he OP. Karma God's work in mystery ways.The term "dank meme" usually makes me not want to look at a post at all.3.5k karma now.
2659
2660Now go home and get your fucking shinebox.Cmon this one worked...I was confused at firstYouireddit, tooI know what that's like man. Once on an old account of mine I posted Peaches by Presidents of the USA, got like 4 upvotes. Next day it's on front page. It's suspicious I tell you.feelsbadmanCame to the comments and ended up disappointed because no one is telling their stories. :( That > itThat happend to me exactly, with Elon calling someone Nerd during AMA, which I posted to another sub. Someone posted the same here and got 10x more views and gold. But hey, that's life. And  Reddit.Downvote and post the same thing! How amazing would that be? >:DNot Enough Capital Letters In Title
2661Holy shit, that didn't work.He phrased the question better than you did, pal friend guy. Kprobably because of your username you fucking space sliceTopYa gotta admit, that grammar is top notch on the second one.I gotchu fam 1 secThat's Reddit for you, you ever hear the story of the lightbulb?Because, commas are important /r/meirl is basically the karma therapy subreddit.It’s because your username.I'd downvote just because of the username.Have you tried selling your soul for karma? Look at Beyonce and Rihanna. They definitely sold out.What time and weekday were these submitted?
2662
2663What were the top pages questions consisting of at each time? 
2664
2665Do some analysis and take over yo
2666I prefer the punctuation choices of the reposter, TBH. 
2667
2668If someone reposted it with "Holy shit, that WORKED?!" I'd probably even upvote.Press F to pay respectssudo make me a sandwich[I had a similar thing happen](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskOuija/search?q=%C2%AD&restrict_sr=on&sort=relevance&t=all) in r/askouijaSending a dick picConch guy here. I feel this. I made the same post about a year ago, and only got like 7 upvotes Bad grammarIt's all about timing.holy shit, that worked?feels badThis post is the epitome of irony...Grammar naziz everywhere All about the wording!Posts are granted karma by RNGeezus only.It's the goddamn YouTube algorithm again!This post makes up for itDamn, that's unfortunate. Karma works in strange and mysterious ways.Second poster must be going "holy shit, that worked!"He added “top” to his post. Completely different question than yours.Back in *Ye Olde Dayes Of Reddit*, the general understanding was the Karma Was Meaningless.jokes on them, you got more karma for this post than they did for theirs.At least you got the karma you deserve now :DSame.I swear there's got to be a science to this. I.e optimal time to post and whatnotTo be fair there are some slight differences that actually could make a difference in user interaction.Nice presentation is everything. Look at the second post: good use of capital letters, commas and a vocative.but hey, you got to post this post now, and it gave you triple the karma, so you came out on top.
2669
2670
2671
2672
2673....or maybe you're doing the long con and both accounts are yours!Holy shit, the repost worked!/u/nsalonga26I wish that worked Why is Reddit such a Point of Sales?I noticed this happen the other day. Same sub. 2 almost identical posts within hours of each other. First One only got a couple comments and upvotes. The second post got thousands. It’s likely due to one being posted during a dead time, and the other being posted during peak traffic. Let's be honest you got 17k instead of 4k now so is this really you?well the other guy asked 'what's your *top* "Holy shit, that worked?" moment'. Definitely a difference.I'm with you man. Shit happened to me today./u/NSalonga26 please apologizeNothing matters more on Reddit than the time of day you make your post. Make it early, early morning so there's lower traffic and it won't be drowned out, then by the time most people are waking up it'll be on or near the front page of that subreddit, where it'll go to the front page of Reddit if it's a good enough post.Your user name sucks.Definitely the username. Well, I can be thankful I have the top post of all time in /r/mildlybuttholeTheir question is a lot easier to read than yours The irony is wtf it worked for the other guyI gave my opinion twice to the same thread the other day, just worded slightly different. One was upvoted the other downvoted. I love reddit but its full of bullshit lolYou didn't use the word "reddit" in your title so nobody felt included when you posted your thread. Learn to manipulate the system better OP!OP from second post- That post was that "Holy shit it worked!" moment What time of day did you post?Checks Karma. Holy shit that worked!*Ahem*, "holy shit it worked!"Every fucking chemistry lab ever You forgot your quotes! -2Reddit, give me karma You forgot to ask Reddit dummy. How else would we know if the question isn't straightforwardly directed to us?Well at least this made it Gotta know how to use those Capital Letters.paging /u/NSalonga26, the douchebag who reposted someone else's question to steal their karma Well, on a positive note, you got a lot of karma from this post atleast.AskReddit has too harsh of tides. My swimming-limbs aren't strong enough to not drown in the waves idek what I'm saying anymore I'm high as shit and I'm just happy I can comment unlike me_irl since some douche mod banned me for making an Arrested Development reference but anyway you guys are cooler and chill like the kind of people you hang around in a small group later in life at the bar and it's like there's one that gets the midlife crisis and we have to have the other's back in this smaller community like we're from the same kinship and assassin brotherhood like that one game where they say nothing is true and that everything is permitted holy shit shout out to autocorrect, that one was spelled so wrong but it still succeeded wow if I could give gold to autocorrect I would, bit here's reddit silver huehuehue wow this is long okay bye.This is why I stopped using reddit. Hope this makes up for it Press “F” to pay respectsThis post was your true destiny Yeah but I can get 26k on this lolCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2674&nbsp;
2675
2676*****
2677
2678*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2679
2680*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*His top "Holy Shit it Worked!" Moment was reposting that threadThey didn't specify who the question was for, that's the problemMaybe because the first one didn't ask reddit so nobody knew what to do. /sI asked this same thing over a year ago and got nothing. Cry me a riverYou just got that karma back so it's all good!It was the question mark/exclamation point that made the difference.Welcome to my fucking life.boo hoo, you are missing out on imaginary internet pointsWhy don't normal car companies make an affordable car with a really sporty/luxury design? There's nothing inherently expensive about making a car flat and angular right?
2681
2682EDIT: I guess does in fact happen to some extent.Are you referring to the car with the oversized spoiler?It took me far longer than I'm willing to admit to realize it was the car on the right side you're talking about and not the green Lamborghini>friends still want to hang out with you 
2683
2684/r/absolutelynotme_irlme literally irlThis happened in Singapore! [deleted]I hated that. I'm no slouch but my two best friends were male model level good looking. I learned to like fat girls. /r/2meirl4meirl Just remember that the Nissan Versa pictured gets better gas mileage, cost less to insure, is more practical, and is more reliable than any of those Lamborghinis :-) you are perfect just the way you are>Implying my friends don't just hang out with me to make them look even more attractive.When ETH hits $1000 usd. r/wholesomememes
2685
2686Made me crywait what how does being ugly correlate with having friendsAt first I thought this was pointing to the "i-had-too-many-gummy-bears-green" on the left. I don't even know which one is the ugly one. Send help
2687"Which ones the ugly one?"
2688
2689"OH.  That one."
2690
2691*points at OP*It would be awesome if that thing has a V12 in the back laying down 800 horse power. It would be unstable as hell but hilarious to watch.Kinda? Haha\> friends
2692
2693\> attractive friends
2694
2695\> hanging out
2696
2697\> correct use of you're and your
2698
2699\> absolutely not me irlwho ugly.? all the same??LolGood news, it's the Dacia Sandero^('s cousin, the Nissan Versa! )Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2700&nbsp;
2701
2702*****
2703
2704*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2705
2706*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*> your friends
2707
2708r/absolutelynotmeirlYou guys do know that if  this is taken in Singapore. You have more than 10 million USD worth of cars in that picture.I thought you were talking about the lime green car for a second. The white one that looks buck toothed?r/wholesomememesEh, a lot of supercars are kind of the equivalent of giraffe necked skeletal supermodels. They're \**technically*\* beautiful but almost sitting in the [uncanny valley](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley).When your friends think they're special but they're all they same./r/wholesomemeirl?I couldn't decided if the title was about the red and black or the line green at first. In real life I'm a fusca DUFF alertYou never know what's under that hood.I read somewhere here once that very few people are actually truly unattractive, a lot of people just need a haircut/change of facial hair, different glasses or contacts, a visit to the gym can't hurt and a change of clothes. I look awful with my head shaved but pretty okay looking with a good haircut. And this is coming from a guy who thought he was stuck looking like the bottom of a shoe for years. This looks like a Remi Gallard skit. Is that a Versa? Can't relate. Definitely best looking out of most of my friends. Just not socially adept :)More like when you're kinda ugly but your friends still don't hang out with you.. oh wait, I don't actually have any friends. Is this r/2meirl4meirl?DUFF
2709R/wholesomemeirlPretty much how I feel driving a Versa. having friends... /r/absolutelynotme_irl Is the ugly one supposed to be the green one or the black one on the right?Is the ugly one supposed to be the green one or the black one on the right?Oh wow, didn't think I'd ever see In the Loop on here. Hilarious movie for those wondering! http://i.imgur.com/7BzJz8a.jpg> not difficult pifficult lemon squifficult[deleted]"Easy peasy kill me pleasy"Who is this woman and why was she photographed doing this?Stolen from r/dankmemesI've seen a ton of these on Facebook. All with the same wording. Wtf is difficult difficult lemon difficult? X-Post from /r/dankmemes
2710
2711(https://www.reddit.com/r/dankmemes/comments/65noh5/my_ife/)Hardy farty lemon tarty? Life can't be that difficult for you OP seeing how you stole this post from someone else. Your problem was assuming Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.  If you assume something less grand, like Easy Peasy One-Two-Threesie, you won't be as disappointed.Theif[deleted]This is my favorite line from out of the loop.
2712
2713Two guys talking casually:
2714
2715"No it's not easy peasy lemon squeezy! It's difficult difficult lemon difficult!”
2716
2717Later, at a conference, awkwardly
2718
2719"In Britain we have a saying for situations like this. We call them... Difficult, difficult, lemon difficult"Good job stealing a meme form r/dankmemes for ten times the karmaVideos in this thread:
2720
2721[Watch Playlist &#9654;](http://subtletv.com/_r65ofeo?feature=playlist&nline=1)
2722
2723VIDEO|COMMENT
2724-|-
2725[Difficult difficult lemon difficult](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mAFiPVs3tM)|[+109](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/65ofeo/_/dgc0s1d?context=10#dgc0s1d) - From a British politcal satire film "In the Loop" based on the TV show with the same charaters form the BBC called "The Thick of It"
2726(1) [Malcolm Tucker's Best Rants and Soundbites](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUky4_A7Zw4&t=110s) (2) [The Thick of It - Jamie's iPod rant](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sk75R9uTMmo)|[+16](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/65ofeo/_/dgc30kh?context=10#dgc30kh) - Mate... the TV show is arguably better than the film spin-off. Get it watched.   Most of the clips from this video are from the show. Plus, this amazing rant.
2727[LEMON GRAB UNACCEPTABLE](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07So_lJQyqw)|[+2](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/65ofeo/_/dgc5ng8?context=10#dgc5ng8) - Unacceptable.
2728[Malcolm Tucker IS Dr Who!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Blf073f2Lc)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/65ofeo/_/dgc7mvd?context=10#dgc7mvd) - They also cast Malcolm Tucker as Doctor Who (NSFW language)
2729I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch. I'll keep this updated as long as I can.
2730***
2731[Play All](http://subtletv.com/_r65ofeo?feature=playlist&ftrlnk=1) | [Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/SubtleTV/wiki/mentioned_videos) | Get me on [Chrome](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/mentioned-videos-for-redd/fiimkmdalmgffhibfdjnhljpnigcmohf) / [Firefox](https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/mentioned-videos-for-reddit)Username checks out.Its easy as pie!laughed out loud for the first time this week. thank you!I thought it was easy peasy JapaneasyControl systems 2 final. New software- all of the familiarity and none of the functionality.Why am I aroused by this.That's a friggen Dell Latitude. Good luck getting jaw replacement.[Unacceptable.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07So_lJQyqw&app=desktop)I believe the original quote goes like this "Easy peasy Japaneasy" - Brooks, The Shawshank RedemptionWait isn't this one of the lines of a character from Dirty Bomb?Is that a Dell?  This is completely understandable.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2732&nbsp;
2733
2734*****
2735
2736*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2737
2738*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Is that Ronda Rousey?[deleted]I just understood so many voice linesInto the loop .This is depressingly accurate.[Me Too Thanks] (https://soundcloud.com/whynotbarbershop2/me-too-thanks-2)Difficult difficult lemon difficult? That has to be theee dumbest shit ive read in months....So /r/pussypassdenied?Is that Amy Schumer?I hope you greased that pan firstDon't 👏 call 👏 yourself 👏 bisexual 👏 if 👏 you've 👏 never 👏 fucked 👏 a 👏 bicycle 👏 https://i.redd.it/7130w0rics7z.jpgI just can't stand panhandlersi can't breatheI'm pansexual and I can confirm. I had to eat 3 pans to fully transform into a pansexual but it was worth it imo! Except for all the iron poisoning that kind of sucks. If that pan identifies as a male, that boy is a faggotLmaowow okThat's my boy!Thought this was r/PUBATTLEGROUNDS for a second. Kids these daysWell-composedGoddamnit. This is funny.~~Thanks OP!  I'm putting this on my dating profiles right meow~~ me too
2739
2740thanksWhat a panhandler.I woke everyone an hour early from laughing at this. Oh well.Me 🍳 thanks.I like this on so many levels. /r/hmmmDon't 👏call 👏yourself 👏metrosexual👏 if 👏you👏 have 👏never 👏fucked in👏 a 👏metro 👏tfw /r/meirl is becoming another generic dank memes subI cant sear a steak now thanksOP, you have a very relevant username over there.. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Wtf am I seeing here...hahahaI've heard of a pan sexual but this is ridiculous.
2741
2742EDIT: this comment has been brought to you by using the joke in the meme but re-wording it aka the hangover 2[deleted]How?[deleted]This shit is funny. Laugh out loud #, amI right.Eh, funnier without the caption.HahahahahahaIM CRYING WHAT HOW WHYCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2743&nbsp;
2744
2745*****
2746
2747*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2748
2749*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*That reminds me, I've seen an add for cast iron pans earlier.. BrbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaWhat about giving the hamburger helper hand a handy?Don’t 👏 call 👏 yourself 👏 P2P 👏 if 👏 you’ve 👏 never 👏 bought 👏 a 👏 Golden 👏 Frying 👏 Pan.this kid is going placesWell shit, does that mean my license to gay has been revoked?
2750
2751Edit: I've been gassed by the grammar nazi's, tbh it was a pretty bad fuck upThe only time I've ever actually met someone out in the real world who identifies as a 'pansexual' was at my old job as a bartender a few years back, there was a morbidly obese girl who worked there that kept telling everyone she was a 'pansexual' and she happened to be in an alleged relationship with a skinny, attractive asian girl (according to facebook at the time). 
2752
2753It's kinda weird when internet stuff clashes with real life, and I just wanted to share my story. I have no ill thoughts towards the hefty worker I spoke of and wish her all the best in life, before her poor life choices start accumulating and leave her bedridden of course. Still don't understand the meirl meme format but I laughed. This is fakeBelongs on r/gatekeepingUsername checks out.[deleted]Your entry for the contest is chicken parmigiana with chips? You win! all i can think of is [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-k_0WIfZ7k) moment from Chopped (skip to 0:20)I thought this said masterchief. And I was wondering what he had done with mushrooms. Chicken tendies?! We have a victor!As a picky eater, my greatest fear is someone going full chef and preparing an amazing meal that I will have to choke down with a smile.Me as judge on masterchef:
2754
2755It's okay
2756
2757It's alright
2758
2759
2760
2761Do you have any ketchup?
2762
2763It's aight famDid you just insult mushrooms  whay has this sub turned into, I can't continue like this 
2764
2765I mean me too thanksThis is only me if you switch it to onions.I respect your opinion on mushrooms, no matter how wrong it is. Mushrooms rule, fuck youI'm 20 and I still don't eat vegetableslamb sauce L    O    C    A    T    E     DSeriously tho, this is a good meme. Even Andrew Zimmern hated some stuff...
2766
2767I actuallly love mushrooms and I just sat here for 5 minutes trying to think of the one think I would refuse to eat if I was a judge and all I came up with is runny soggy scrambled eggs.
2768
2769I'll eat a soft boiled egg and toast any day, but once I was at a friends house and they were French/Americans and they made scrambled eggs for breakfast and them shits looked like beer shits and they were all like, this is how we eat eggs in France, and I was like FUCK NO FUCK FRANCE FUCK YOUR EGGS THIS IS NASTY AS SHIT AND I REFUSED TO EAT IT AND THEY WERE OFFENDED AND THEN THEY OFFERED ME SOME TOAST WITH JELLY AND GUESS WHAT!!! THEY DONT REFRIGERATE THEIR GRAPE JELLY, THEY JUST SCRAPED THE MOLD OF THE TOP OF THE JAR OF WELCHES AND THREW THE MOLD IN THE TRASH AND THEN SPREAD THE JELLY ON SOME TOAST AND OFFERED IT TO ME AND I WANTED TO DIE RIGHT THEN AND THERE.
2770
2771but I was hungry and I ate the moldy jelly toast...
2772
2773I think I need to log off now and have a glass of apple juice or something american b/c this post triggered me and now I also want to sign up for Tumblr....
2774
2775wtf is tumblr even? 
2776
2777the name reminds me of those plastic cups with lids...
2778
2779ok bye guys 
2780
2781me too thanks
2782
2783I call them "silent murder" and just tell people I'm allergic😵 Same I just can't eat something that's basically a rotten decaying mass of cellsI'm not a picky eater, I just don't like a lot of foods.[deleted]Or ocra Mushrooms are ok. I don't like them in big numbers in food though.I feel like a gag show or episode where pro chefs cook for a distinct panel of picky eaters: a fickle 7 year old, a fickle 70 year old, and a conflicted vegan would be really interesting.Videos in this thread:
2784
2785[Watch Playlist &#9654;](http://subtletv.com/_r5m38pw?feature=playlist&nline=1)
2786
2787VIDEO|COMMENT
2788-|-
2789[no raw onions!!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-k_0WIfZ7k)|[131](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/5m38pw/_/dc0qkid?context=10#dc0qkid) - all i can think of is this moment from Chopped (skip to 0:20)
2790[Key & Peele - Continental Breakfast](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=st21dIMaGMs)|[9](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/5m38pw/_/dc0x9jk?context=10#dc0x9jk) - Yeah it's literally cheese melted on chicken with some tomato sauce in between, and some of these really cheap places just put slices of kraft on some microwaved chicken low key. This guy is straight out the Key and Peele sketch:
2791[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-520pifEDms1](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-520pifEDms1)|[4](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/5m38pw/_/dc0wlre?context=10#dc0wlre) - Make me feel a little better...
2792[Colonel H. Stinkmeaner](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfaulfXZgUo)|[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/5m38pw/_/dc0u0oc?context=10#dc0u0oc) - Probably boondocks reference
2793[Cooked  Official Trailer [HD]  Netflix](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epMAq5WYJk4)|[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/5m38pw/_/dc17bma?context=10#dc17bma) - There is a documentary series on Netflix called Cooked and one of the episodes focuses strongly on how we use decay in calculated ways to enhance our food. The whole series is great but that one episode I found incredibly interesting.
2794I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch. I'll keep this updated as long as I can.
2795***
2796[Play All](http://subtletv.com/_r5m38pw?feature=playlist&ftrlnk=1) | [Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/SubtleTV/wiki/mentioned_videos) | Get me on [Chrome](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/mentioned-videos-for-redd/fiimkmdalmgffhibfdjnhljpnigcmohf) / [Firefox](https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/mentioned-videos-for-reddit)Your entry for 'Cheese Curds with extra Curd' wins. Congratulations!
2797how dare you disrespect the good name of mushroomsBut mushrooms in food is fucking delicious, what is wrong with you wtf who doesn't like mushrooms [deleted]  
2798 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.1509 
2799 > [What is this?](https://pastebin.com/64GuVi2F/51516)>not liking mushrooms 
2800
2801What kind of savages are you?https://www.instagram.com/p/BCL8JKLoU1z/Downvoted. Mushrooms are litBut mushrooms r ok :(iron chef america irlI am simple asian, if it has rice it advance. If it use soy sauce, you won.This made me laugh, then my brother laugh tooThis is why I hate these shows. If the judge simply doesn't like a certain food then you're fucked. You could have cooked it perfectly, but if they don't like it then too bad. You're out. > Eats classy foods
2802
2803/r/absolutelynotmeirl > not liking mushrooms
2804
2805/r/absolutelynotme_irl     I just read it as MASTERCHIEF...and I'm like mushrooms?Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2806&nbsp;
2807
2808*****
2809
2810*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2811
2812*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*I can manage dried mushrooms or some mushrooms in a gravy but if that dish has a pile of mushrooms that's 2shroom4meI actually love food with mushrooms but this was hilarious. Have and upchuckle. When I read "Masterchef" I thought it had to do with the video game Halo. Took me a while to realize that it was about the TV show.I saw that on cutthroat kitchen once. You lost because I don't like truffle oil. If this is you irl, then you are miserably wrong irl.I'm actually doing this right now. I mean, it's more compact so I can spend less time on each thing I guessThat tears it - we need to start building a tiny version of the internet!You don't fucking know my life. Personally attacked rn.All too often do I close reddit on my computer, pick up my phone and open reddit again...I don't Reddit on my computer so yes I have two internetsSomeday I want life to be interesting enough that I don't need to compulsively check the internet every 30 minutes.
2813
2814Someday...relevant xkcd: 
2815https://xkcd.com/1411/I do like Reddit on my phone, where I don't have to click on each thing before I realize I have seen it before.And then switch back 2 minutes later?I'm on my smaller internet at a gas station trying to not have a panic attack because my car is dead and I'm surrounded by woods. I'm not worried about the animals and shit out here, and I have a tow coming. I'd rather something eat me then find out what this repair bill on this fucker will be. I'll get bored of Reddit then check my phone to see what's on RedditS M O LThe smaller reddit.I hate my lifeI read this as "*Do you ever get a boner on the internet*" and skipped over "phone"
2816
2817Lengthy confusion ensued.That feel when you close reddit on your browser and then immediately open reddit on your phoneWhatFor me it's just closing a Reddit browser window, just to reopen Firefox and Reddit. Then I'll shut down my computer just to open Reddit is Fun on my phone.At first I thought you meant some sort of dark webMy internet is broken, so I only have a smaller internet right now :/Every single day I can’t distract myself enough these days. Of course.This is literally what cats do. Sometimes I close the reddit tab and open a new tab to study and I just reddit.com againCan confirm. Im doing this nowNo We need another Reddit... not voat that place is a disaster.Bahahaha, this made my morning! too reali swear i’m literally everyone in this subSometimes I just need a switch from the mundane point-and-click to the glorious pinch and release of my mobile screenMER/badfaketextsr/facepalmMy cat's freak out time is 11 pm. Like a switch, the pupils get tiny the ears go back and *ZOOM* he's off to make several laps around my apartment at lightning speed This is my upstairs neighbor, who is not a cat.One night I was having this weird dream where someone kept punching me in the stomach really hard.  It went on forever. punch. punch. punch. punch. It was terrible.
2818
2819Eventually I wake up and hear my cat running down the hall toward my room.  He jumps up on the bed directly onto my stomach then up to the window.  He chills out there for a little bit, jumps back down onto my stomach and charges down the hall to the living room, he was probably doing it half the night the way my dream went.One time my cats were racing around the house at night and I think one of them was going too fast and wiped out because I heard him hit a wall.At this point I'm pretty sure my cat is just fucking with me. He sleeps on the bed like an angel from 10pm-midnight when me and my girlfriend watch TV, but the switch flips the moment we turn out the light and he decides it's time to run laps around the bedroom.My cat's breath smells like cat food.  i'm lucky my cat doesn't do this, he just threatens to drink out of the fish tank until i get up to feed him at 6 AMr/meowirlI leave my door to my room cracked as a "cat speed bump." They have to slow down to walking speed to get into my room or they'll slam into the door or door jam. Before I figured that trick out, they'd come tearing in, top speed, all hours of the night and run across my bed chasing each other.
2820
2821And no, non cat owners, you can't just close your door because then they will sing you the song of their people all night to be let in or out every five minutes.Meow too thanksSHIT, I ALMOST FORGOT TO PULL OUT THE CARPETI'm still up voting this shameless karmamongering excuse of a repost. 
2822
2823It's that good. Does that cat have a cleft palate?[deleted]/r/meowirl for running up -> to sleep
2824
2825down -> fix your life
2826
2827the hallway -> , everI uploaded this picture of my cat to /r/StartledCats about a year ago but it was cropped smaller..... Trying to remember where else I uploaded it?Meow too thanksYou should tell the ghosts to stop scaring it around that time.My cat has starts waking up at 3am coming into my room to sit on my face /u/stillpro69r/meow_irl[removed]Catcats are assholes.r/zoomiesSounds like someone has a case of the zoomies.This is why you get a goldfish instead./r/meowirlwhen is 4am and this hasnt been reposted yet todayThis looks like [my cat.](http://imgur.com/6VBtzYr)Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2828&nbsp;
2829
2830*****
2831
2832*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2833
2834*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*[My cat, every morning](https://youtu.be/w0ffwDYo00Q)When you realiZe that there is a conspiracy to systematically remove the Z's in words and lazily replace them with S's.Was going to be a wiseguy and comment: *realize 
2835
2836But I looked it up first, thankfully, and found out that the *s* spelling is the preferred version outside the US and Canada. Both are correct spellings of the same word. Glad I  checked because knowing is half the battle! Let your damn Cat out if it does this shit, it has obviously got too much energy and natural nighttime instinctsthis is why you put animals outside"I know ;)""Don't worry I'll pay."A swing and a miss\>Ronald Mcdonald profile pictureAnd that's when you answer "Me too thanks".Oy vey"So am I"Christ this comments section, calm yourselves ya little edgelords."Oh good! I was already nervous about meeting your family."Danny Sexbang?Well duh, what kind of idiot would change history if given the opportunity? I'm Jewish, too!I would do anything for love ... But I won't do that.Real catch 22Bullet dodgedThe ole catch 22Jewish? Or Jew-ish...?The only valid next line is "you're a one in six million type of woman." Catch 22"Well, I can't change the past, but maybe your future!?"That's a collar tug if I ever saw one.You fucked up A-AronYikes*Looks in camera. quaint smirk.*
2837
2838
2839Never mind it's fake bullshit and it's from the office.
2840
2841
2842Fuck. I miss that show.well nevermind then"And I don't even wanna date you." "Can you show me your tattoo?"Bad goy!"Oh, nevermind then."#prioritiesI guess he'll have to do both Just makes it that much more romantic"Okay, then i'd rather just chill at home"Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2843&nbsp;
2844
2845*****
2846
2847*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2848
2849*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Definitely read this as "holocast" at first glance...And I'm vegan, who cares?    this comment has been archived
2850             /
2851       /\ O  
2852        /\/
2853       /\ 
2854      /  \ 
2855    LOL  LOLThis legit had me burst out laughingThis joke really is a gas, but can you all quiet down? I need to concentrate."I'm a Nazi"Authentic and heterosexual.Women are so hard to please amiright?What a gas."Yeah, so at least I know you'd be born no matter right, ... ^right ?"NEIN"Come over to my place baby, we can put some slow jams on and Auschwitz the lights off. He did nazi that comingThey always said he had a thing for dust"I am a piece of shit, I would like to date you"
2856"I value my personal romance higher than millions of lives, date me"Then sorry I would take a date with Jew. I really did Nazi that coming. 👀 "I'll just hit the showers then""I know, and I'm the one that's going to take you out"I did nazi that coming.."I'm a little gassy, but I think we can figure something out"unlucky [removed]She marched? She responds?! /r/absoluteltynotme_irlFollow up: "so wanna meet up for bagels?"Its more romantic if she's going to die"haha lmao jew wish? Haha get it? Get it?"
2857
2858[removed]I never realised that the 2 plants and that "o" in the background spell "lol".This perfectly captures how it feels when you hit a bomb guessing on a 50-50 chance final square. Minesweeper is actually coded so that it's impossible to click a bomb on the first try. The map loads after the first click. Found it!I like being efficiently bad, no time wasted"Today. Today’s the day, I am going to turn my life around!"
2859
2860*click*
2861
2862"Ok."Wait, no watermark? Did you buy this?I never realized until now that's the guy in the drawing for this sub. I always wondered why they used a drawing of an embarrassed Michael Chiklis. Haha just asked a girl out and feel like this right haha fuck.I am deadThe Hurtlocker abridged. 
2863
2864Edit: directed by u/patrickbaitmanThis made me laugh WAY more than it should have.. hahahhaha still laughing.. one of those days..https://youtu.be/LHY8NKj3RKsSo simple, yet so dank. /r/HaroldPornThe deeper meaning behind this is that in order for that to happen on minesweeper you would have to restart a game and do it on purpose.This had me howlin I swear, like no one knows how to play this game and I absolutely love it. When ppl see me play, they ask me if they can try and then just press random boxes. If I offer to show them how to actually play they just shrug and refuse. I don't get it... it's so underrated. /r/2meirl4meirl Mine_irlDude it's a hidden junkrat mineWhat a cruel programmer!<3 HaroldReally dankIt's just great seeing Harold still getting work. Bro i just realized that the plants in the background spell lol/r/meirl : (Walk down the right back alley in Helmand Province and you can find anything.Guys that's impossible the first move on the minesweeper game is always a free space, it can't be a mine. I think this meme is fake guysEvery god damn time.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2865&nbsp;
2866
2867*****
2868
2869*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2870
2871*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*This made me laugh so hard 😂This was the closest Dan ever got to swearingI laughed way harder than I should have at this photoOne of the best posts of all-time imoBest suicide not ever!R/2meirl4meirlHave we ever found out how this meme lord of a guy is? Epic!!!!!! Depression and angst!!!!! somebody kill me lol xDDDDDDDDDDDDDD"How regularly do you floss?"
2872
2873"Three times a day."
2874
2875"Daily?"
2876
2877"No just today.""Michelle, you know I don't floss. I know I don't floss. Why must we play this little game when I come in here twice a year? Now give me my transformer sticker and let me be."Why did I assume this was Michelle Obama? when i floss good my hygenist puts boobs on my head
2878
2879I've gotten better with flossing after I got a waterpik.Nice drunk post save.Totally me too haha not like I am a creep haha I mean me too, thanks.Dude same with me except I floss fucking twice a day. It's never enough for them, they just take and take and take!*dentist stabs gums*
2880Your gums are bleeding because you don't floss"
2881"How often would you say you floss?"
2882
2883Well, I'd say every time I brush, but we both know that's not true, don't we?me tooth thanksGallatin represent!My last cleaning was something like this..
2884
2885Hygienist: You don't floss enough, know how I can tell?
2886Me:  nerrr
2887Hygienist:  Can you taste the blood in your mouth?
2888Me: yehes
2889Hygienist:  Go spit.  All that blood is due to unhealthy gums
2890Me:  There might be a slight chance that you poking, grinding and prodding with sharp metal fucking objects may also have something to do with it.
2891Hygienist: ...........I feel like Michelle posted the follow-up to this...Yay. Go Tennessee. I'm not a native speaker. What is a dental hygienist??I hate getting floss-shamed.I never floss and can count on one hand how many times i brush my teeth a year, if I could count.r/unexpectedAhh Gallatin. The full slowness of sumner. I always lie about flossing. I brush my teeth once or twice every day but I floss like six times a year. Mostly after I've eaten popcorn and the kernels are stuck. 
2892
2893Haven't been to the dentist in like a year and a half though. This is the most "meirl" meirl post I have seen yet.
2894Just went to the dentist last week where they yelled at me about not going enough, then when they told me what I was going to pay AFTER insurance adjustments just for getting some impressions done (aka getting silly putty stuffed in various parts of my mouth for 30 mins) i was like hey, guys, maybe uhhh this is why I can't come as often.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2895&nbsp;
2896
2897*****
2898
2899*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2900
2901*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*In all seriousness though how annoying is it when someone posts a direct personal message like this to a public crowd rather than to the person.
2902
2903Thanks for the explanation I asked for.Being a dental hygienist in Tennessee would be a pretty easy gig."You're doing a great job, but you can do better..."  
2904"Thanks?"me after walking out on that runway while relying on my body and getting read for it This nerd dosn't fuck.Anyone thinking of that old Jeremy Hotz bit?Why is this me with people I know but never with people that need to hear it? It's because I'm weak I didn't need to hear that I just needed to reaffirm it in my head. HOLY SHIT! i live in Gallatin!!!I flossed so deep, I put her ass to sleepLol Gallatin Even liked his own post 🤔The picture, and all of the comments and I have no fucking clue what the fuck I just read.... why was this bandwidth wasted? /r/oopsdidntmeantooriginal please?We have to go deeperI don't understand this meme. This is the very instant I became old.Big if trueNow this, this is good.What is this, a crossover episode?I like how this meme has taken offgod is deadGet that filthy underscore out of my face.Why is all this coming to this subOh god this isn't the right sub for thisHow is this like you in real life?me too thanksWhat is the orinigal source for the image?pls stopFucking meme stealerS H I T P O S Tthis is fucking phenomenalI hate you for making me look at thisI'm impressed. Wish I wasn't yet here I am. Fucking memes, dude.This meme is getting out of controlCan we try to keep this sub from becoming a meme dump?DankSince when does this sub latch on to one meme? That's why I left the other subI can't keep up you guys.this is so fucking advanced. I love this wave of memes because we have the original and as soon as it gets irrelevant someone makes it relevant by making a hideous meme mutant.Well doneThe grass is always greener on the other side...Waiting for a Javert one!How farThis is the best.r/bonehurtingjuiceMemeseption2spicy4me Your fatPlease, when will this stop...This is the dankest Wew lad this is next level I am loving how fast this meme is mutating.A little context, please.I'm Nigerian. This went over my head. Help me understand. I know it has to be funny. Link?Jesus Christ ragecomics are coming back. What have we become?holy shitLife hurtsMe_irl totally thinks that the "current girl" or the girl making the face, is way cutter than the girl the guy is looking at in the meme. 
2905
2906She's super cute. M E T 🅰I always upvote Drake & JoshIs the original a "staged" stock photo or just a lucky shot an actual real life situation?  im guessing stock photo due to all the exaggerated facial expressions. [I posted this on facebook yesterday](http://imgur.com/a/HvxU8.jpg)
2907
2908
2909I mean me too thanks.And this isn't even my final formCan we declare guy-checking-out-girl-while-with-gf meme of the year?This meme is on the brink of imploding. It's so pervasive, everyone has already started to get sick of it.Are you the neighbor?Listen ya melonheads What's the world coming to when a man can't even seek counsel from his fruit without some peeping Tom snapping a pic for social media?? One of youse is a cucumber on the inside.It's 3 am and I am spying on my neighbors and taking pictures of them*"Hmmm... which one of you am i fucking tonight?"Guy kinda looks like Kramer. Jokes on you they're full of cocaineIt really always is 3am with these peopleThat's a lot of acidThis is surprisingly well-framed I've read enough /r/TIFU posts to know where this is goingHi, my name's Mel, and I'm an alcoholic.Better than a meeting with coconuts tho...we call them watermelons because theyre mostly water but theyd call us humanmelons because were mostly humanThis is one of my favorites images on the internet.he's so disappointed in their performance..[the melon lord approves](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/019/073/Melon_Lord.png)"Now, if only I remembered which one I stuck my dick in last night and which ones I'm supposed to give to the new neighbours 🤔"That's gotta be some decent shit...Seems to me you should close your shades and forget what you never saw.I'm not sure but I believe your neighbor may enjoy crystal methamphetamines. Acid/u/WaterGuy12"Alright guys, seed production is low. Meelonie did you get the memo from last week? It had a  pie chart of Lemon sales." Gallagher the night before his opening debut. A meeting of the rinds.me🍉irl 
2910FTFYHow melancholy He looks like his house is about to foreclose and he's contemplating the only way he can save it by maximizing the profit from those melons.That's some Ted Bundy shit. He actually has done an online shop and ordered coconuts but due to the recent craze in coconutting the shop had sold out and substituted watermelons for coconuts. He's now thinking what to do with his evening. Not sure what's going through his mind, got a few options so choose for yourself:
2911
2912A) Damn, supermarket already closed and I idiot bought melons instead of coconuts.
2913
2914B) I know they are no coconuts but maybe it will work too
2915
2916C) See B but including "shall I really do this?""Who amongst you most deserves my hand in marriage?"*"Yeah, Im gunna fuck all you tonight, wait where's the coconut?!*"He is debating whether or not he should get his katana for some good old fruit ninjaLooks like some shit out of American Beauty Leave Kaji alone xD I wonder if he has any SPORKSOkay guys. The coconut was a bad idea, second time is the charm. Guys. You've been here for 2 weeks. To be honest i don't feel like eating you anymore so you're here to stay. I think we should discuss how we're going to divide the rent and bills. It's 3am he must be lonleyyyAt that moment John knew he'd fucked up Nah man, that's an orgie in the planning stageThat's not odd.  It's a little known fact that watermelons are nocturnal.  
2917  
2918If he met with them during the day, they'd all be asleep. It might be time to move.Which one of you am I going to fuck.....
2919 Aka.. Mr. CouldntaffordacoconutStop spying on your neighbor and his guests you creepr/madladsOne of my worst nightmares is being filmed by my neighbours. This is kinda fucked, don't take pictures of people in the damn homes. I really hope this is an artist and not a madman.r/tifu in the making maybe watermelons this time instead of coconut.At least they aren't coconuts. its about time we had this talk fellas
2920
2921"It wasn't me! It was Joey-Red-Insides-Clark!"
2922
2923Wait, Little Billy-No-Seeds, don't go pointing fingers just yet...That guy is dressed like Kramer.I've seen this on Telemundo... Watermelon Rescue.Better than a room full of coconuts. Good for him for actually taking responsibility and getting after his watermelons. Most people would just let them grow until they get outta controlI thought the watermelons were proposing :')When the grocery store is out of coconuts Ooh boi, somemelons gettin cut! " Charlie theres no gain in buying dozens of melons "
2924
2925*Charlie buys dozens of melons*Them watermelons are about to do some kind of street war plannin'  broHe's preparing them to fight monstrous fusionAt least somebodyirl*Wakes up*
2926
2927Ugh--My head... 
2928
2929*looks down* 
2930
2931Why the fuck are all these watermelons here?
2932
2933*checks pockets only to find a receipt for watermelons*
2934
2935Why the fuck did I spend $40 on watermelons? 
2936
2937*rethinks life decisions* <--- When the pic was taken.Move Drugs.Which ones getting microwaved tonight?  Decisions, decisions This is the guy your math teacher warned you about He's hoping to run away and marry one but they can't elope. He's that guy from the math problems.At least it's not coconuts..."Oh my God, what have I done.  My family, they're all watermelons."Just glad they aren't coconuts.Michael Jackson is alive !They're... multiplying. I knew I should have left that meteorite alone.Wait is that anthony fantano?Be glad they aren't coconuts. I'm imagining how it would feel to bang a watermelon. Thanks comment section.why is it always 3amDrugs.He's trying to decide which one is best to put his genitals into. "now no one is leaving until one of you motherfuckers admit to stealing my sock...  The dryer told me it wasn't him and I don't see anyone else in the motherfucker... so what's it gonna be?"Your neighbor looks like Bruno mars.what he doThat guy is tweaking hard!!mmmmmmmmmmaaayyyyyyyyuuuhhhhtthhhh
2938I've decided long ago that if I ever wrote a deep philosophical novel that goes on to be a classic, I would want this to be the cover pic on my Penguin edition.His secret task is to meditate before fruit ninjaBombs. They have to be bombs!  He honestly looks like he's saying "wtf am I going to do with all these watermelons". He's been through some shitSpeed dating.Looks like he is deciding which one to show at the county fairHe's coming up with math problems "Okay guys, I saw this coconut thing on the web and... You know I like you all...but it got so much karma! Any volunteers?" This has to be that conversation.He's smuggling drugs in the watermelon and contemplating the riskI'm glad I don't have neighborsIt looks like hes begging for more time from the order of watermelonsMaybe he's trying to figure out a math problem. What's Kramer up to now?It's 3 am and my neighbor is tripping on acid There was a mole in the group"I'm going to slice the little one and make you all watch me eat him!"Either hes super lonely or on some crazy shitO Shit..10/10 would watch a series about this!He is just trying to solve a math problem...Man: So it's settled. 
2939
2940Watermelons: *(silence)* ...
2941
2942Man: Yes, I know. It's not going to be easy for any of us. But I do think that it's the right thing to...
2943
2944Watermelons: *(silence)* ...
2945
2946Man: You think this is what I want?!  We can't... 
2947
2948Watermelons: *(silence)* ...
2949
2950Man: Carl, I'm gonna have to cut you off. Your going around in circles...
2951
2952Watermelons: *(silence)* ...
2953
2954Man: Carl... Carl... Carl... Car... You know what, everyone else here is fully committed to this. If you don't want to be a part of this, then there is the door.
2955
2956Carl: *(silence)* ... *(Tips over)*He found the guy in the math problems.
2957
2958"If Jeff had 10 watermelons, and fucks 7, how disappointed in himself would Jeff be?"Hey hey hey. Maybe he's practicing for a presentation at work?I wasn't invited :(I've been looking for this image since like 2011 no jokeDrugs.Could be coconuts "When I said I only wanted watermelons for my birthday, i was joking!""First, I'd like to thank you all for coming over this late...... now; to business."That guy makes me think of me in stardew valleyBooooo reposting He must have got the memo about fruit no longer being a suitable substitute. He's just getting them all together to thank them for their service.Coconuts were too obvioussuprised its not one of those begging for upvotes pictures
2959Taking pictures through your neighbors window, and then posting it on the internet? 
2960
2961You should be ashamed of yourself. 
2962
2963Yeah, this is weird, but mind your buisness. That actually kind of looks like a bunch of urns with the ashes of all his victims.
2964
2965
2966Or urns with venomous snakes he shall release upon his sworn enemy. 
2967
2968
2969"Which one to fuck tonight" he ponders IT'S 3 AM IN THE MORNIN' PUT MY KEY IN THE DOOR N MELONS LAYIN' ALL OVER THE FLOORHe's contemplating if he is becoming the type of person math problems warned you about. Wow, this picture is ancient.When you have no life and no friendsI mean, at least it's not coconuts, right?Why does shit always happen at 3 am? At least it's not coconutsThere's regret in his eyesHe is the one whom we meet in maths textbooks.It's Ramadan. Which one of you wants to become my coconutYour neighbour is high He's totally been on reddit. Expect a TIFU about fucking watermelons tomorrow. Steven Universe in his later years.Or is he trying to summon s demon!!! This is the water...You want to know why I love /u/waterguy12? /u/waterguy12 is a completely self-made meme. So many other memes are based in nostalgic childrens shows, funny faces, relatable situations, or references. Not /u/waterguy12. /u/waterguy12 is completely absurd. It's literally someone who asked to be notified of memes while he was away on holiday. The first person to ever upvote /u/waterguy12 did not do so out of recognition. The first person to ever upvote /u/waterguy12 did not do so because a pre-existing meme format. The first person to ever upvote /u/waterguy12 upvoted a plee for notification literally pulled from the ether by sheer human lust for memes. /u/waterguy12 is evidence that humans can stare into the meaningless void of eternity and force their own meaning onto to it. I will always upvote /u/waterguy12, fuck /u/fireguy12!
2970
2971Looks like he is tripping his fucking dick off.Looks like a Hopper painting nah fam he just stole all those melons I think he mistakenly bought water melons, instead of coconut! The people from math equations: The aftermath Uh...that's a dude babysitting watermelons full of drugs.Fuck he's high I'm pretty sure that's my ex-best friend who completely disappeared from my life very suddenly. Well, now I finally know what he's been up to, and it explains a lot.WATER they talking about?Looks pretty seriousBe thankful they aren't coconuts!Meirl when I'm not called over to join this so called meetingI never liked harem anime.Spoiler alert: the watermelon uprising has come to claim its first victim... you're next😂That is my Uncle Ron!
2972Your neighbour is either high or a computer programmer  explaining his code Tryna decide which one to fuck.He's got water-melon to keep him company at home.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
2973&nbsp;
2974
2975*****
2976
2977*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
2978
2979*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Why are you taking pictures of me summoning my dead son, I'm suing youWhere's Barry? "Glad you all could make it""Okay melons we nees to talk""Okay melons we nees to talk"AYO HOL UPAt least it is not coconuts.Stalker-watching your neighbors at 3 am and taking pics, creeperL.S. fucking D.R  E  P  O  S  T
2980E
2981P
2982O
2983S
2984TCowbelly reposter!!What if he is confused between watermelon or coconut?He's just sitting there wondering why agreed to shove them all up his ass and cross the border.me_irl x2I read investors instead of watermelons, made it ten times bettetThey where discussing how to get revenge on their neighbour who keeps taking photos of them at 3am.  It's 3am and you are watching your neighbour through the window. Who is really the strange one?Why are you taking pictures of them? Just be thankful they're not coconuts...Reminds me of the time, when I was tripping with my friends from college. After several hours contemplating life in my room, I come downstairs to find one of the friends trying to build a pyramid with clementines...Feel bad.... he is assuming their melon-ness when they identify as bowling balls.The octopus got me last night. But then he helped me through the window.\>implying a good jacking doesn't help you sleep well.Holy fuck.
2985
2986Is there a story behind this? Looks terrifying.Those tentacles tho, should be r/hentai_irlShow this meme at my funeral. Every fucking night. Night Me tries to hide the socks from Morning Me, but Morning Me always knows where they are.This is too shockingly true. I’d be in bed at 2 AM, debating whether to sleep or not, and the thought of masturbating comes to me and I end up sleeping at 3 AM. (And my phone just almost corrected the word me to meat lol. How appropriate)Holy shit.... my life in one picMore like you and reposting. /r/2meirl4meirlGreat band name: Sleep, the urge to masturbate and me r/titlegoreFinding this relatable makes me start to question my life priorities more like: 
2987 
2988            sleep  
2989          me  
2990      lying awake thinking about  
2991      all the embarrassing  
2992      things i've ever done  r/titlegore/u/waterguy12 This is the most accurate representation of my lifeUndersea Gardens. Newport, OR/r/fap_irlThis is why you do it in the morning insteadI’ve Seen Enough Hentai To Know Where This Is GoingI name all my octopi that...I haven't seen this Ben Garrison beforeBut that moment when you cum and realize that it is stupidMe but is the effort of getting out of bed to find my vibrator worth it? (Yes) Enjoy it. Eventually, sleep and the urge will swap places. The water should be sleep.Will tentacles be involved in this masturbation at all?r/titlegoreAm I the only one that masturbates when I wake up? If I do it at night before going to bed then I have to go to the bathroom..Truer words have never been spoken.  
2993
2994I too feel the urge to masturbate when an octopus touches me.I fell asleep with my junk n my hands last night lol.I can't sleep with out masturbating sometimes. u/gabegoviThat's at Oregon!!! I saw meme before it was conceived!!!! You're missing a coconut in this picture/r/nofap, if you need helpThis is why I don't leave the house.I saw this shared by a meme page on facebook, but I didn't dare to like it in fear that my friends an family would learn the fact that I masturbate. sleep>jerking offSleep me the urge to masturbate.Newport ORSleep
2995
2996
2997PTSD from fuckups in class/(society) 
2998
2999
3000MeHas it happened to you that you feel the necessity of fap at every place you go at least once. Johnny feels it.Haha this is quite literally me_irl! Wish me luck on my masturbatoric journey. /r/tentai or /r/consentacles How long does it take to rubbed one out? 5min. max.The urge to masturbate would have tentacles..All I see is delicious octopus.[deleted]Well I guess I have a new fear now.Makes me go to sleep This hits way to closeOMG this is so me :DDWhat a wanker.Since I started hanging out with OP's mother, I haven't really had this urge ~_^Uhhh
3001
3002Masturbating puts me right to sleep. 
3003
3004No problems with this issue. Best meme I've ever seenr/2meirl4meWhat about masturbating to sleep? Check m8wow thought it was just meI've been there beforeIf only sleep wasn't a glass wall reflecting my inner demonsScuba Steve noooo!!Me too thanksStory of my lifeI laughed at this like an idiot.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
3005&nbsp;
3006
3007*****
3008
3009*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
3010
3011*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Yep that happens from time-to-time...I'm on the opposite side of this guy.Hey, this is in Newport's Historic Bayfront, isn't it?/r/nofap would like thisr/absolutelynotmeirlEyyyyyyy Newport Oregon right? That weird boat aquarium thing?This is a lot easier to overcome as a girl. I usually just end up falling asleep with my hands in my pants.
3012
3013The only down side is I can never remember if I came or not. With a coconut? 👀The only thing to do in Newport Oregon What kind of horrible monster is the urge to fuck a coconut then...the tentacles really keep you coming back.Some ppl have s teddy bear next to them in their bed. I have my vibrating dildo. Maybe i should name it teddy bear 🤔 I'm glad that we are back to quality content You've got this all wrong, masterbating helps induce the sleep. me too thanksJust don't use a coconutBoi getcho ~~ass~~ hand over hereThe black mirrorhttp://www.whompcomic.com/comics/2012-12-10-Dating-Simian.jpg
3014
3015I feel like this is relevant.[Dat Animal Crossing feel.](http://i.imgur.com/3mM6ePV.gif)Matte Master Race represent!Porn tooI keep my room dark enough so that there are no reflections...My monitor has a matte finishWho is that girl I see
3016staring straight
3017back at me?
3018Why is my reflection someone
3019I don't know?
3020All about that matte display our playstation used to have such a long fucking loading time i was sitting in the living room playing a game, finished a level then waiting for the menu to load for seriously two minutes when my mother walks in the room and asks why i'm just sitting in the dark not doing anything and i say 'the game is loading' but it didn't load for a really awkwardly long time thanksPorn is worse for this.[deleted]Not if you’re playing Fallout 4.That is why I despise mirrors.thats why I use a matte screenSSD master raceHoly shit... He's so right though...http://i.imgur.com/LVMGOnP.png wtfMatte screens, brah.That's why I got a monitor with an Anti-glare filter :)That's why I invested in the Titan and SSD!Black MirrorPC gamer here. What's a loading screen?\#laptopscrubproblems
3021
3022git gutgotta get that ssd to minimize sad timeThat's why I always wear a ski mask while playing.That's why you buy a big ssd !Thats why you get an SSD
3023
3024I mean me 2 thxJokes on life I play on VR mostly It's even worse when youre using VR and the camera shows on to show your (my) fat ass Wasn't this originally said by Notch or something?What you're gonna wanna do is adjust some of that contrast, and put an anti glare thing because the sun does get very bright through the windowget an ssdGet a matte screen Checkmate fucko, that's why I always buy matte screens.This is why everyone recommends an SSDThis is why I don't like glossy screens.Right in the feels."Loading social life..."
3025
3026"ERROR"True lolWorse after porn lolThank god dota took out loading screensGotta get that matte, anti-glare monitor deleted  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.4654  [^^^What ^^^is ^^^this?](https://pastebin.com/FcrFs94k/32756)BLACK MIRRORI think it was meant to be porn.I read "loathing" instead of "loading", i see no difference That's why you get an SSD :^) and that why i spent an extra $200 for a non-reflective screenLife Hack: If you sit lower than your monitor, the reflection will be of the ceiling and not yourself. Don't get glossy screens, get matte. Problem solved.you diedI'm here to say this about porn.I bought two SSDs to run in RAID 0 for games so now I never have to face my problems again. This just got realAnother /r/pcmasterrace advantage, shorter loading times to see yourself less and waste your life more!Joke's on you, running game from SSD. Loading screens ain't long enough.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
3027&nbsp;
3028
3029*****
3030
3031*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
3032
3033*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*This would be a wonderful addition to r/iam14andthisisdeepBetter get a fast SSD then, and join the /r/pcmasterraceThis is all too relatableThat's why you use SSD's_>using glossy monitor
3034
3035KekOn pc you never have that problem Does Barry have to give up his account now?Hey guys I just got back from space. What I miss?The number of people who think this is real or are questioning whether or not it's real makes this election make so much sense. July fifth? **you're fired** Was about to say, damn, Obama dont give a shit anymore, but then i saw the date of the tweetIs this photoshopped? #TheHappening/r/blackpeopletwitterIf we squint hard enough maybe we can just forget this ever happened.[deleted]July 5th?  what happened after the holiday?Hanks me three. Amen.Are we comparing ourselves to Bobama?Actual change I agree, sir. 
3036
3037I agree.Me too thanksIs this real??This should've been a million times more hillaryous if it was real.Did he actually tweet this?Get fuckedhis disconnect from the american people is severeBlack people did not turn out to vote and now they deserve everything coming to em.Change it to "Like my status," and yup. "Stan, your grandma said your grandma sent you a poke and you haven't sent her a poke back."
3038
3039"But dad I don't even...."
3040
3041"STAN, POKE YOUR GRANDMA!"[And poke your grandma!](https://youtu.be/M8rcp32eHrQ)Just post this screen shot as a comment. My non grounded version since I'm living abroad:
3042
3043Mom 2 minutes after publish: hey please check out my Facebook photo and leave it a like 
3044
3045Me: why so?
3046
3047Mom: I want people to see that you like my pictures. Doesn't look good if everyone leaves a like and you don't. 
3048
3049Me: what if I don't like your picture? 
3050
3051Mom: leave a like anyway! 
3052
3053Me: ok w/e will do that later when I go to Facebook
3054 
3055 
3056
3057Mom 2h after publishing: why didn't you leave a like yet?
3058
3059Me, for the sake of my sanity: done. 
3060
3061hahah ya if my mom was still alive hahaha"Mom... you're being tacky"Like me selfie or you're grinded
3062
3063*-Kim Jong Un*a friend of me forces me everytime to like his pictures. he also has something like 8 fake accounts that like and comment on his pictures. he also buys likes on a regular basis.
3064
3065the stupid thing is that it works. girls think he is popular and lives the high life. i guess "fake it till you make it" kinda works for him. My mother has taken to tagging me in posts about Plexus, which is some bullshit pyramid scheme that she thinks actually works. But... Its julyr/thathappenedDoes anyone have a mom that demands Reddit up votes? Fun fact: that screenshot is from November 23, 2014!How come you're only posting this now?At least she used "you're" properly!Fake, you can't see the 7% battery lifeLooks like I'm grounded r/mymom_irlI love posts that are from 2014. It gives me some great nostalgia When I was 12 my mother's ex husband once yelled at me 'cause I removed him from my xbox 360 friends list.Never accept family friend requests.  Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
3066&nbsp;
3067
3068*****
3069
3070*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
3071
3072*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Legit happened to my friend. I shit you not. 
3073
3074He also got grounded for not giving her a life in Candy Crush. I showed this to my mom and she was like, "What?! I didn't send that!"Just saw this on Facebook lolWhy doesn't the alert have a box around it? Did they used to be like that?R/teenagersGrounded it is.This feels borderline "raised by NPD"This is a NORMIE memeSelfie is actually a nuder/thathappened My birthday haha!Back in 2014Change it to like my shitpost and you literally described this entire subr/FakeTextsThis is pretty retarded, idk why it has so many upvotes. Probably bots.Ha ha. Except, this isn't funny. Also, it isn't "meirl."
3075
3076Perfect for this sub, I guess. [deleted]One of the best disses I’ve seen ever.i would prob kms if someone sent that to me.Like repunzul locked up in your room with your pet, with every once in a while your mom calling you out. r/MurderedbywordsI just keep letting down myself.r/2meirl4meirlme2thxGee, thanks momMom?this is a real textRoses are red, violets are blue, that started so sweet, but now fuck you! RipSame. 
3077  
3078lol...[OOF!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f49ELvryhao)Just 4am things....Error 4:04, dignity not foundImagine receiving this text at 4:00 AMThat burn should come with lotion. Joke's on them, no one expected anything of me in the first place. Long hair don't care Dam that hit me hard.. and I’m not even a girl.💔Brutal OP username checkout This could be my autobiography... One sentence, to the point, short and sweet.
3079IF I WANTED TO READ DANK RECOVERY MEMES A DAY LATE I'D GO BACK TO DRINKING MYSELF TO DEATH AND SNORTING ANYTHING THAT SOMEONE TOLD ME WAS PROBABLY DRUGS!Let Down is an underrated gemPerfectwhatI should said that to my ex :/You're kind of like a fun vampire, but you don't suck blood, you just suck.r/tinderWhat I find most satisfying is the grammatically correct use of "your/you're" in both casesOnly good vibes!Ouch, this is too real :(Damnholy fuck i did not need to read this todayVideos in this thread: [Watch Playlist &#9654;](http://subtletv.com/_r77dbwx?feature=playlist)
3080
3081VIDEO|COMMENT
3082-|-
3083[Barbie - B Who U Wanna B (Audio)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjB-SfWpgDc)|[+6](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/77dbwx/_/dol7pnj?context=10#dol7pnj) - Boi let me smack some sense into you
3084[Roblox Death Sound Effect](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f49ELvryhao)|[+2](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/77dbwx/_/dol9i48?context=10#dol9i48) - OOF!
3085[Radiohead - Just (Karaoke Lyrics)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VM702UDUxbQ)|[+1](https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/77dbwx/_/dolqmuk?context=10#dolqmuk) - I'm going to be that weird guy who links to a semi-relevant moody song now: Just by Radiohead  For bonus points I've even linked to the fan made lyrics version instead of the official video. Mostly because the quality on the official video is potato.
3086I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch. I'll keep this updated as long as I can.
3087***
3088[Play All](http://subtletv.com/_r77dbwx?feature=playlist&ftrlnk=1) | [Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/SubtleTV/wiki/mentioned_videos) | Get me on [Chrome](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/mentioned-videos-for-redd/fiimkmdalmgffhibfdjnhljpnigcmohf) / [Firefox](https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/mentioned-videos-for-reddit)I find it hard to believe that two people with iPhones don’t have their phones set to autocapitalize the first word in the sentence. Well, it's 4am. I guess you don't even have a life at allhaha me too thanks I'm keeping this one in me pocket.Mic drop!Can't let everyone in your life down if you don't have anyone in your life!
3089
3090Always 2 steps ahead of'emThe fuck you doing at 4 amCome on, that's so lame...That's savage man XDAnd you have huge red spots above your knees from your elbows. Only 46?And you get those painfully tingly feet for like 5 minutes where it hurts to touch your feet to anything.Aw fuck you caught meWho else is browsing reddit on the toilet That's called being a pooaplegic.I'm frightened to stand. I currently can't feel below my waistDon't do that; you'll get hemorrhoids. 
3091
3092Source: got hemorrhoids Im on the toilet while typing thisWhen you have to use your phone flashlight to wipe your ass because you have been in the stall so long that the motion-activated lights in the bathroom turned off and even throwing wads of toilet paper over the door wont turn them on again.Shirly that's not Leslie Nielson You guys are all poopy faggotsYeah I can't walk up to five or ten minutes after this and I get dizzy, meme Ebola.Guess that means it's time for me to get upThat'll probably be me soon. If I get up. The key here is to lean over on one cheek and repeatedly tense and relax the muscles in the other leg until you get feeling back, then lean onto the second side and repeat.Do you want hemorrhoids? Cause that's how you get hemorrhoidsBut Reddit taught me that sitting too long will literally give me plague.46 minutes? You rookie.The bottom right picture got me man Me right nowAnd of course I saw this as I was getting up from the toilet
3093Just got up. Feet are all tingly. Get off the high road, Summer. We all got pinkeye because you won't stop texting on the toilet.too real bruhOkay, THIS is me irls/memes/porn/Too real right nowMe currently while I'm hiding at work >forty-six
3094
3095Those are rookie numbers.Toilet polioJust takin a poop and lookin at memes. [deleted]Relieved it's not just me (pun intended)This is what we call on reddit an Oldie but a GoodieI always get up as soon as my feet start to tingle from lost circulation. Most of the time, it's just before my boss sends someone to find me. Numb butt, numb legs, no R A G R E T SI don't get why peoole do this. Once you're done shitting, why not wipe, leave the bathroom, then just look at Reddit without a shitty ass?Can confirm. Source: Am sitting on toilet.Me_rnI dont know why this shits funny but it is. True story Anal thrombosis is no laughing matter. How fitting
3096
3097
3098Am currently squeezing the lemonThis sub is so fucking weird. Sometimes they downvote this meme, sometimes it hits the frontpage. Makes no sense.Finally! Something on this subreddit that isn't trashCan confirm, am currently on the toilet looking at memesBasically my hour lunch break.. relatable.literally me atmFor real, this is how you get hemorrhoids. Be careful, they are not fun. Damn it takes me more than that just to shitWait this is what im doing nowHahaHonestly, this isn't even a joke for me. I'm gonna get a hemroid. Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
3099&nbsp;
3100
3101*****
3102
3103*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
3104
3105*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*I posted this 100 days ago and got 500 Upvotes. NoiceIt happens when i play video gamesAmateur.Meme about a meme ... seemsgoodI just finished my 46 minute bathroom (meme) break and had this happenNormie. Real memesters walk laps to keep our bodies strong so we can enjoy memes longer.This has happened to all of usYooo there's nothing wrong with me right?  This has been me for the past week.  And then I can't walk cuz my legs are on pins and needles john CENA! DUDUDUDU[http://imgur.com/aeFHiNg](http://imgur.com/aeFHiNg) -- .   - --- ---    - .... .- -. -.- ... they're good dogs BrentLmao, this is the funniest post I've seen today, which says a lot cause I've seen like 5 
3106
3107ArfMe woof thanksThat dog deserves a treat. . - -  - - -  - - -  .. -. So basically this is just /r/funny now? This has no relevance to the title of the sub.How is this even remotely anyone irl?Continued:
3108
3109Me: Uh...
3110
3111Scientist: Nice right? Oh, there he goes again!
3112
3113Dog: *taps paw twice*
3114
3115Me: What did he say this time?
3116
3117Scientist: Bee movie scriptIs this /r/funny? I thought I was in /r/meirl.lol yeah this is totally me
3118
3119...
3120
3121time to unsubscribe from meirl, the critical mass where it becomes garbage has been reached[Buzz, your girlfriend...](http://www.woofmaker.com/img/homealone.jpg)Fool of a Took! My Reddit gold is suppose to let me see that I've clicked this on my computer, and again on my phone, but I guess Reddit is just trolling me today cause I've clicked this submission around 5 times and am slowly descending into further madness that all this sub is is this one photo Lol me too thankswtf every time i think i've finally filtered me_irl off r/all another variation pops upe.-.. --- .-..I don't know what I expected ... . -. -.. / -. ..- -.. . ...Your dog wants steak.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
3122&nbsp;
3123
3124*****
3125
3126*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
3127
3128*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Laughin at everyone using translators when I actually know code. Perks of being a ham @ meHow is this you irl? I love this!I hate this post. It has been on the front page for like 3 days and I always click it because the title is the fucking same I think I've seen it about 6 times.It was better when they taught the elephant morse code
3129
3130"what's it writing?"
3131
3132"BBBBLLLLLUIURRRUUGGHHHGGH"Didn't something like this happen in phineas and ferbI died. Also, condolences *tap tap*So if we teach all the dogs in the world morse code, police officers can't shoot them because they weren't barking right?
3133Edit: sorry i thought the /s was implied lmao who names their daughter "Her"?HeyIt's always the one who *wouldn't* send the message that they really want to talk to.This is always code for someone specific but she doesn't want to seem clingy.At least she's upfront, my experiences end up with a "seen".
3134
3135I mean me too thanks
3136
3137*insert r/absolutelynotmeirl comment*Related: her profile says "please don't message me with just 'hey' - be creative!" 
3138
3139First message from her: "hey." :\If this ain't meI'm lucky to even get the "not you"."Great, now I need someone to talk to" r/funnyandsadDating site chicks:
3140
3141"Don't be shy, just say HI!"
3142
3143"I am an open minded person and will reply to everyone!"
3144
3145"Just send me a message, really looking forward to it :P"
3146
3147Outcome: never replies.I guess beggars​ can be choosers.r/niceguys"But I'm such a nice guy"Taking initiative to talk to her?
3148
3149/r/absolutelynotmeirl
3150
3151On the off chance I do and I get this answer?
3152
3153/r/2meirl4meirlStill better than not getting any response 😂Not me because I don't have friends in the first placeThat never happened to me but it still hurts ; ;Onee-chan daisuki <3/r/MakeNewFriendsHere 
3154
3155/r/KindVoice 
3156
3157/r/Kikpals 
3158
3159/r/SkypePals 
3160
3161/r/GamerPals 
3162
3163lol my life story /r/justneckbeardthingsHas happened before, can confirm Cool, now you know to unfriend her and not waste any more time pining over someone who doesn't like you back.  This is why I don't text girls anymore :(r/incels leaking? In high school, I remember a girl I liked and was friends with talked about how guys aren't romantic anymore and don't write love letters. So Valentine's day comes around and I get her a few gifts with a love letter and she thought I was some sort of crazy stalker. She told me she was afraid for her life... it didn't go so hot....what me irl is this"My account was hacked."Brutal Send noose2meirl4meirlr/2meirl4meirlI'm literally the guy in the pictureR/niceguysIf all of you weren't such losers and just appreciated women for who they are without some weird expectation/hope that one day she might want to fuck you then she'd probably talk to you. Stop being pathetic bitches. Probably means you're a dick TBH. If she's not trying to get someone specific to talk to her like to date them, needing someone to talk to means you need comfort and the last thing you want to do is talk to that guy who's a dick.[deleted]She doesn't want something just like this...
3164do do do do do do...Feels bad manNot you toby2 useless panels in the middleu/ickybus https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSjSozKL_EA[deleted]$$$Maybe it's because you have that haircut. ripperoni me boiIf she answers you it's already a victory !Her?Ouch.Oh fuck this reminds me of when a girl I liked went on a trip in high school. She had a layover and updated her status saying she landed so I sent her a text asking how her flight was. She asked me how I knew she landed and when I said I saw her status she told me not to look at her Facebook anymore. That one hurt.:(!remindme 3 yearsCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
3165&nbsp;
3166
3167*****
3168
3169*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
3170
3171*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*As if I'd have the courage to even text a girl not me. 😂😂😅😀😕🙁😒😞😔 i need some puss guys...Beggars can't be choosersYeah, it's always why aren't there any single men around? When you say, Ahem, they say that I find attractive?Haha this cracked me up! Good one.[deleted]How long before this appears on /r/incelsThat sounds dangerously close to inceldom Women are hateful [deleted]Why are good guys always friend zoned And thus, an incel was bornbitchIf I didn't track it then it didn't happen.No meta bullshit? Upvote.Ah fuck, this is my screen right now.This hits too close to home.  The other day I realized my "workout mix" had become my "driving to Taco Bell mix"The wallpaper looks so cool!!! 
3172Can you link it OP???Plot twist: OP is on a bulk and deficient in calories that day dominos re branding is really desperate isnt itBeen a while since I've seen something so relatable.In before "omg a popular brand name we all recognize??? /r/hailcorporate" That's why I never have food delivered. If I go pick it up, I can somehow trick my mind into thinking "well at least I left the house"For real though, I have lost 20 pounds in two months using my fitness pal, not really trying hard at all. I still eat mostly trash, but knowing how many calories I have eaten is really all it took for me to start losing weight. Basically just started making green smoothies with peanut butter and cereal and stuff in them for lunch every day, and then eating the usual crap for every other meal. I've had my fair share of pizza/fast food and days where I eat too much, but I'm still losing weight. 
3173
3174If any of you are trying to drop some weight, I would definitely recommend trying my fitness pal. I'm sure there are other similar apps that would be good too, but it's just the one that I ended up getting and it works fine. It also allows you to import yesterday's breakfast/lunch/whatever so if you eat the same thing every day for one meal it's extra easy.It would actually be really awesome if MyFitnessPal built some API hooks into food ordering apps and could auto update. 
3175
3176And when you get to the checkout screen, send you a push notification like "are you sure? That order is over your remaining calories for the day"Hope you're enjoying your food. Nom nom nom.
3177🍕  😋  🍕I think u/waterguy12 would enjoy thisGet out of my head Charles!Nom Nom Nom. 🍕 😋 🍕Damn, Myfitnesspal just ruined the fun!How can we skip this ad?r/2meirl4meirlNice drogon wallpaper friend Fuck that was trippy. Same wallpaper made me think it was my phone for a secondThe duality of man>having enough money for dominos
3178
3179/r/absolutelynotmeirl"auto detected 5 minutes of walking today, up from yesterday! good job!"
3180
3181oh fuck offThis is scary relatable.People *enjoy* Domino's? I thought it was just something you ordered when you're really hungry and have run out of good food.For real though, MFP and calorie tracking has lost me 15lbs in the last month and a half and I'm hoping to lose about 40 more over the next 3 or 4.
3182
3183Shit works if you stick to it.\>using a fitness app
3184
3185r/absolutelynotmeirlAre they messaging you after you have received your food? That would annoy the shit outta me....
3186
3187I had a take away phone me while I was still eating the food they delivered to see if I enjoyed the food, I said it was ok, but the phone call wasnt. Never ordered from them again. 
3188
3189This would annoy me whether I had notifications enabled or not.I get it - you hate yourself so you eat Dominos..Keep on Trackin' me https://youtu.be/qBfqcVUK8Q0i have the same wallpaper got i yesterday weirdCame for the post, stayed for the wallpaper.
3190
3191Thanks Op!!
3192
3193Edit: me too thx Yo! I have the same wallpaper on my phone. Respect. what if it comes laterI have the same wallpaper. This is my background too and I flipped out thinking when did I post thisIs that my nigga Drogon?lmao his wallpaper is 🅾️🅾️🅾️🅾️Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
3194&nbsp;
3195
3196*****
3197
3198*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
3199
3200*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*Ain't nothin wrong with thatI just started using that app and it gives me pleasure to say that after days of relentless use I'm disappointed in myself on a whole new level.I put that same painting as my phone background. r/hailcorporateIt's like being at a restaurant with your girl and you see your side ho across the room.Domino's? You absolute savage.It takes a special kind of retard to have those on his phone.Ugh Domino's?Is the background your front facing camera?I don't get itI feel this on a spiritual level.Is that 9 AM or PM?What is punctuation?What is punctuation?The mistake isn't eating Pizza, it's eating Dominos.I mean if I didn't track it , then it probably didn't even happen.it's a good thing the liquor store around the corner doesn't have an app. For more than one reason.u/waterguy12 !
3201/r/hailcorporateAnd I just got pizza from Dominos.Ah....blatant ad for dominoes.What is punctuation?I don't get it. Is this a fat people thing?Man I wish I could spell stuff out with my fingers like thatAtleast he has a friendI would be happy with a friend.A girl would hopelessly break and distort her fingers just to tell me she doesn't actually love me.
3202
3203Absolutely meirlReminds me of the [official friendzone symbol.](http://i.imgur.com/tbQepG2.jpg) I haven't learned that gang sign yetMan, these gang signs are getting complicated.I'd want a friend with magic fingers  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) So the laws of the universe will break down just to make sure life is mediocre. How refreshing.This is hilarious.Dat bitch is gangster AF.inb4 /r/niceguys posts this unironicallyhttp://imgur.com/dTSnv2z
3204
3205Are you fucking kidding me. I mean, me too thanksr/NiceGuys 1000+ upvotes
3206
32078 comments
3208
3209Me_irlDon´t go flashing that in the wrong neighborhood.This is disturbing."She's a witch!"Thanks momThe old bandage under eyes to keep tears from being too obvious technique. I see you  She friendzoned you so hard, she was even willing to break her fingers in various places to point that out.I'm not sure I'd want anyone who is capable of such feat even as as a friend.Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
3210&nbsp;
3211
3212*****
3213
3214*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
3215
3216*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*How *do* these things go from being on www.pikabu.ru onto reddit in the span of a day? I mean, in some ways, I understand simple translations, and that works both ways. But this front-paged on pikabu yesterday, and somebody would have had to redraw the third part completely to get it to read properly in english. That's amazing. How progressive MFER r/THE_PACK, WILL DESTROY YOU SILENCE YOURSELF AND POST A LONG APOLOGY BECAUSE WERE NICE MFKERSSpent 3 minutes trying to figure out how the second part worked with my own hands...Wow this is like, literally me irl. 
3217I wonder what sub this is on.
3218O.....Get aboard the karma train! Choo choo! u're Oof ouch owie my sexuality/r/BlackPeopleTwitter crosspost with terrible cropping
3219
3220Sorry I mean me too thanks> u're
3221
3222*twitch*I feel like this is the second time I've seen this today and it's already lost jpeg[better quality](https://i.imgur.com/fvlSHfV.jpg)r/gay_irl/r/murderedbywordsNeeds more fryingme too thanksneeds more jpegThe lost art of croppingme_irlgbt🎶 [All bi myself](https://youtu.be/NGrLb6W5YOM) 🎶Maybe try men and women instead...r/bi_irlOkay I can’t reddit at work because of stuff Iike this. Silent office and suddenly you hear me cackling like an idiot. Nah fam she's just on standbiShe's got to lower her expectations are look for love outside of 2 genders 💯[removed]Too real for me.... oof.mp4Starting to look like something from /r/DeepFriedMemes bangerang!That was some fancy wording.. you're pretty good!https://instantostrich.com/ouch this one really hurts.Rekt I see what you did there..owr/murderedbywordslol/r/murderedbywordsHey I'm bi too but I'm not alone right now I have a bfThis is about as real as it getsThis is pretty meirl EXCEPT I wouldn't be using comic sans but instead trebuchet msChristmas is coming up and you know what that means?
3223
3224Plenty of visitors. Jack Frost, Santa, Ghost of Christmas Past, Crippling depression...
3225
3226The gangs all here./r/2meirl4meirl Months? Try years.This is depressingly accurate.Don't believe in this "go out" thing, guys. I tried it, and it's a scam. They try to lure you into all kinds of things: "behave like this and become popular with ladies" or "do that to find many friends". You waste time and money in all kind of ways, but in the end you are still alone, because you are still a depressed loner, and nobody likes those types.
3227
3228Don't buy into their lies like I did. Stay at home and make yourself comfortable, because there is nothing out there but disappointment.And you haven't been invited to anything eitherWho the fuck visits? 
3229
3230I hate when people ring on the doorbell. Why would you do such a thing to another person?I can't even remember the last time I hung out with/socialized with another person lmaoAt first I was :D but then I went :( This like telling a homeless person to get a house.r/2mean4meirlI don't need to take any shit from you. I'm off to /r/wholesomememesNo.Last few months? What do you think I am, a fucking celebrity?Real shit. It's been a while since I got a text from someone other than my mom And now people sharing "u've bin visited" posts are even more pathetic, great job, op.Thanks mr me2meirl4meirlI don't know what you mean. I get visited by the pizza guy all the time. This would look nice as a tattoo on someone's assChoo choo! All aboard the feels train! Next stop depression-vil! Population: Your lonely ass.
3231
3232:(where do i find people tho?This post gave me anxiety with how confrontational it was.Only me_irl I feel good about upvoting. Not here too, thanks.My mailman visits a lot, so I have that going for me. [deleted]  
3233 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.5069 
3234 > [What is this?](https://pastebin.com/64GuVi2F/79477)I have a life, it's just lame and uneventful because I'm too boring to do anything.Haha nice 😂🔫Because being in social situations causes anxiety attacks.Oh wow. So comical. *SOB*
3235IT'S TRUE! IT'S FUCKING TRUE!
3236*RETCHING AND STRAINED SOBS*r/outsideme too thanksThis made me laugh more than it should've lol Ha, jokes on you, I get visited on 4chan all the timeI like this one. 10/10Years*I get visited by the pizza guy! That counts!Haha, yeahIt's all about perspective. No one visiting me for like 10 years is something that I would love more than ANYTHING. Once you've had triplets you'll understand the incredible need to be alone. ...using comic sans...(shakes head). You really are at a low point in your life.thank mr skelt...OuchI tried and failed.But what if you like it when no one visits you...? :|Is this an ironic meme, a meta-ironic meme, or a post-ironic meme?Wayyyyyyyyy too fucking real.
3237my feels men, fuck.Comic sans perfectly portrays this conversation Too real. Please stop OP I come here to laugh at memes not further my depression.What would a life do for me?  Friends don't bring happiness any more than random people online do.  (At least in my experience it is that way.)  Unless it's a girlfriend who visits, that is pretty fucking good.Are you guys really this depressive or it is just jokesWow is meirl the antithesis of whilesomememes? RipWhy did you have to remind me. I was just feeling betterFeelsBadMan tfw all your friends are at college and you're home working because college is extensiveWhen the visit is too real14 hours later and I would have laughed my ass offBut what about the memes?ok, where do I go? how do I get a life? I go out, I talk to people, I still don't have a life.I can't go outside tho God damn it how did you know...Hey! I'll have you know I prefer to go to other people's houses! 
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3239Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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3242*****
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3244*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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3246*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*OhJesus christ man. NSFL.Haha xDNo!I have immunityI need some wholesome memes. :(:(This girl I thought was gone forever hit me up so that's niceDang, the Sponge of Immunity is really working!how-to thanksI don't come here to get assaulted like thisI'll just strap on my life helmet and get into my life cannon and shoot myself to life land where lives grow on trees.What if one is disabled and can't go physically out? :( If you don't wish to spend time on this mission well it's an understatement it is a total waste of timeNo. stop. This is not me_irl. That's where shitposts like these go. You have been visited by [Comic Sans](http://pre09.deviantart.net/9a31/th/pre/i/2015/295/c/c/comic_sans__p_by_lattianpesuaine-d9dzkjo.png)
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3248Upvote now or have a bad time.Wow. We're really still doing this "You have been visited by" shit still? I thought it was clear that this sub doesn't like this shit."Her name-" "Oh sorry!"These are good dogs Brunt..."Does he bite?""Is he friendly?""Is he a  *g o o d b o y e*  or?..""Stop resisting, Brant!"WHy do you have to be so mad, Bront?Proceeds to try and pet the dog"Ooo what breed is he forwards slash she?"[Relevant Pink Panther](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXn2QVipK2o)This reminds me: I believe there are many reasons why women should fuck dogs. Dogs are much superior suitors to women and history shows this. I have thought of fucking horses and pigs as they have longer cocks but size isn't everything. Dogs are loyal and your friends and the thought of fucking a short hairy dog turns me on. Dogs also have many perks men just won't give you. My first reason is women in history have practiced it. There have been documented cases of Ancient Romans and Greeks practing it for pleasure. Dogs tongues can get to very hard to reach places and it can feel amazing.It would take forever to talk about all my experiences with my dog and my vagina. You cannot get pregnant if a dog fucks you. It is impossible for a dog to impregnate a human meaning you can have sex 24/7 risk free. I personally fuck my dog twice a day but he's a shih tzu so if you have a larger dog I'm sure you can fuck even more . You cannot get an STD which is a huge thing nowadays. If you are allergic to dog sperm, that's the only way it can harm you. There was actually in case in Europe of a woman dying of an allergic reaction so that's pretty much the only the thing that can harm you, being allergic to dog sperm.  It has been around since the beginning of time. There have been cave paintings of it in 2000 BC so it's been around awhile. I believe that by fucking other humans we have moved backwards as a species. It's legal in some countries and states so you can enjoy it pretty much without worry other than judgemental people and religious people. Pretty much all you have to worry about. Some people like to think about it as a kink. You are fully submissive to a wolf or a canine, some people like to take it like that. It's something most people wouldn't try. For me I just really like to fuck dogs. It's really convenient to fuck dogs over men. You don't have to go out to find sex when it's in your house. Next time you want sex just fuck your dog. You can do it whenever you want. It's not really rape because the dog exchanges it sex for protection and food. And my dog generally likes it. They don't complain at all if they disliked it they would. They're very easy to train. As you probably know it's not hard to teach dogs phrases, words, or objects to initiate sex. This will stop your dog from humping u in front of your family which happened to me once in front of my brother. Luckily he dismissed it and we ended up fucking. In conclusion men are inferior at sex and women would be better suited with dog sex.S T O P R E S I S T I N G B O Y E Can I pet him?Stay cute on the fridge while I quit on this bowl of noodles. [Kuzcooooooo!!!](https://youtu.be/uT4ySwoh27Q)ColbyCan I pet himCongrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!
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3251*****
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3253*^I ^am ^a ^bot, ^probably ^quite ^annoying, ^I ^mean ^no ^harm ^though*
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3255*^Message ^me ^to ^add ^your ^account ^or ^subreddit ^to ^my ^blacklist*They're good dogs brentr/whitepeopletwitterGlad to see Brent making a turnaround on his stance on good dogs. Good dog are brandon"His name is, [Badge #8080] (http://new3.fjcdn.com/comments/Bobo+s+ears+don+t+have+the+pink+part+d+_a4d9faa016257a028e7c1978fc9894f7.png)."/r/dogberg/r/wholesomemeirlAwe look how good she does her job. I wish I had a dog but my mom won't let me get oneWith each time I read this I understood the joke more and more. At about 5 times I finely understood it.Either that or you end up with a computer virus. That's why I prefer lego :-)Not enough radial blurI think this meme has potentialin 1996 my friend found a vet bill with a credit card number on it and bought a subscription to a porn site and i used it i was 10 please don't arrest me. More JPEGReal version
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3257> Dad pls text me the FBI is here so I can get karmai must have pirated thousands of games and movies, never once received any warning or fine
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3259anyone else in a similar situation?i fucking love this new memeThis [actually happened to me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/iu93n/fbi_raided_my_house_with_a_search_warrant_today/)
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3261FBI showed up (about 20 of them, with guns drawn) because my 13 year old somehow helped shut down paypal for a few hours.  Made national news, and hit the "hacker" (haha) community hard about 6 years ago.   Lots of raids over a ddos.  My, how times have changed.  Thanks for posting, laughed more than I am willing to admit. It made my day better.Tutorial: http://m.imgur.com/gallery/R390EIdGo to mineshafter.net, click download. Then, the launcher will ask if you want to update to a new launcher that will run faster. Then it will download the official Minecraft game.meirl hates this sub.
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3264but i love this post.Memes for 8 year olds?For anyone that wants to know the answer to the question, download Minecraft from it's [official site](https://minecraft.net/download/) then install a mod called [Forge](https://files.minecraftforge.net/). It still says "Play Demo" on the start screen but it actually unlocks the full version. Minecraft? In 2017? My god we really are out of touch....I mean, me too thanks. Is this okay mods? Or am I gonna be banned in this sub too? [removed to meet the diversity quota]