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1
2SMASHMOUTH DRIVING
3
4TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2010 (silver font) 
5
6WWE Raw Report (peach color text)
7
8Date: 02/22/10 from Indianapolis, IN.
9
10The Big News: Three of the top four WrestleMania matches were officially announced on Raw.
11
12Show Analysis:
13
14Raw began with the return of new world champion Chris Jericho following his extended departure from Raw. He said basically nothing but just repeatedly gloated about winning the Elimination Chamber match, which was very amusing. Eventually Edge speared him from behind and announced he would take on Jericho for the title at WrestleMania. This was a good angle and it led immediately into another good angle.
15
16John Cena came out next. He said that Vince McMahon screwed him by forcing him to wrestle again in a singles match after the Elimination Chamber. I don’t see how that’s any more unfair than Sheamus being forced to defend his singles title in a six person match in a Chamber and come in as the first man to boot. In fact, I’d argue Sheamus was screwed significantly worse than Cena.
17
18Cena said he wanted his rematch on Raw, which brought out Vince McMahon to tell him he wouldn’t be getting it. It’s not a big deal, but they should table this routine for a little bit. It’s a good concept in theory because you tease a match and then pull it back for later, but they’ve done it so many times it almost feels like the face is disingenuous in temporarily teasing the fans with a match everyone knows won’t be delivered.
19
20Vince McMahon said that he made a deal with Batista where Batista would attack Bret Hart and Batista would then get a title shot. Vince said Batista won’t defend the title until WrestleMania, and that both Sheamus and Cena are in line for title rematches. Thus, he announced Cena vs. Batista for later on Raw. If Cena won he would get the shot and if Batista won Sheamus would get the shot. Cena looked scurred of the prospect of wrestling Batista.
21
22Maryse beat Gail Kim in the long awaited finals of the women’s title tournament. It’s only the women’s title, but they really shouldn’t have advertised a PPV title match only to yank it during the show and provide it on free TV the next day instead. On the plus side, they gave them a little more time than the average women’s match, which you ought to for a title tournament final. The match itself was okay by WWE women’s match standards.
23
24Gail hit a clothesline and punches early but Maryse grabbed the ropes when Gail went for eat defeat. Maryse went for her implant DDT but Gail reversed into a cradle for two. Gail went for a springboard crossbody but missed. Gail went for a victory roll but Maryse threw her off into the ropes and hit the implant DDT for the pin.
25
26There was a weird moment during the match when Gail was bleeding from her mouth and Lawler brought attention to her mouth but didn’t say she was bleeding. So WWE may actually have a bizarre policy where they won’t even acknowledge someone is bleeding even if it is an accident. I can’t recall if they explicitly mentioned bleeding when it happened on Sunday or the other week on ECW.
27
28Randy Orton and Cody Rhodes met backstage. Rhodes said that he knew DiBiase would betray Orton but that he was still on Orton’s side. Orton said that if anyone was at fault it was himself for teaching Rhodes and DiBiase too well. Orton said he hasn’t been the leader he should be and said that he asked for a six man tag to show Legacy is still on the same page.
29
30Orton left and DiBiase came in (pretty much immediately to the point of implausibility) to ask how the conversation went. Rhodes said almost too well. DiBiase then asked Rhodes if they were sticking to the plan. Rhodes said yes, so the audience was basically clued in that Rhodes and DiBiase were planning to stab Orton in the back.
31
32Evan Bourne, Kofi Kingston and Yoshi Tatsu beat Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. They announced Tatsu signed with Raw as a free agent. I’m still wondering where Abraham Washington ends up. Tatsu had some success with kicks early but Legacy took over on Bourne. Rhodes hit the Alabama slam and DiBiase used a head over heels clothesline.
33
34Bourne eventually got the tag to Kingston. Kingston hit a springboard clothesline on DiBiase but Orton cut him off when he went for the boom drop. Orton began working over Kingston as DiBiase and Rhodes whispered to each other. Rhodes tagged in but Orton then hit Rhodes with a DDT. DiBiase got in Orton’s face outside the ring and Orton gave him an RKO on the floor. In the ring Kingston tagged Tatsu. Tatsu hit a kick on Rhodes and tagged in Bourne for the shooting star and the pin.
35
36I assume this is the official breakup for Orton and Rhodes/DiBiase. I have mixed feelings on it. It’s good that they were conscious about not making Orton look like a fool. It’s been obvious that Rhodes and DiBiase can’t be trusted and if Orton got suckered by them there is the risk that it would make him look like a chump. With that said, Rhodes and DiBiase need all the help they can get in this feud and opening the breakup with Orton outsmarting and laying out both of them was the sort of young talent burial at a critical juncture that has led to such a stale main event picture.
37
38Shawn Michaels came out for a promo. He said that his explanation for what he did at the Elimination Chamber isn’t complicated. He did what he had to. Michaels said he knew that wouldn’t be popular but that he can live with that. He added that he knows his action spur a reaction from Undertaker. In fact, he was counting on it.
39
40Undertaker joined Michaels. He had weird yellow marks on his face, maybe from the accident yesterday, and looked positively ancient. He said that Michaels had his attention. Michaels told Undertaker that he wrestled a nearly perfect match last year, but he can’t live with that. Michaels said Undertaker ignored him so he had to get Taker’s attention.
41
42In the middle of this serious and crucial promo for one of the biggest matches of the year, the crowd decided to start chanting “what” at Michaels. “What” seriously may be the most irritating fan development in wrestling history. Shut the fuck up, you obnoxious, narcissistic, ADD-suffering dimwits.
43
44Michaels told the Undertaker to wrestle him at WrestleMania and get his revenge. Undertaker responded that he would on one condition, that Michaels put up his career. Michaels said that if he can’t beat Undertaker he has no career. This was an excellent angle with Michaels as usual doing a great job.
45
46As for the career vs. title stipulation, I have mixed feelings. I think it’s a nice hook to build interest in the match. But ultimately WWE is boxing itself into a corner. Either Undertaker’s streak ends for no good reason or more likely they do yet another stipulation match knowing full well that they’re going to renege on the stipulation. It’s even worse here because people are going to remember and care more when they go back on their word. I don’t see why they couldn’t achieve the exact same goal by having Michaels simply imply he’ll leave forever if he loses.
47
48Christian beat Carlito in the first money in the bank qualifier. Now that they are doing money in the bank again, Miz is such an obvious pick to win this year. He fits the gimmick perfectly in just about every way. They also introduced a couple of the NXT rookies here. Heath Slater cut an obnoxious promo and Michael Tarver cut a very good little one.
49
50They announced Christian has signed with Raw. I’m surprised they didn’t do a storyline bidding war between Raw and Smackdown for one or two of the top ECW guys to make their debuts on a new show seem important. That’s the whole reason I like “free agency” better than “drafts.” You can make it feel like the wrestlers have agency and goals they’re moving towards. Instead, this just felt like another draft with the guys randomly distributed by the promotion. It’s not a big deal though, and moving over the ECW guys should bolster the depth on Raw and Smackdown.
51
52Christian missed a crossbody off the top early in the match. Carlito hit a knee lift but Christian countered with an inverted DDT. Christian climbed the ropes but Carlito caught him and hit the roll of the dice for two. Christian went for the kill switch. Carlito reversed into a springboard elbow attempt but that was countered into another kill switch attempt. Carlito reversed again but Christian sent him into the post and finally hit the kill switch for the pin. This was a very fun little match.
53
54Jewel and bull rider Ty Murray did two segments on the show. Earlier Jewel and Jillian Hall got into a singing confrontation and Jewel slapped Jillian. Here, they did a dreadful segment which involved riding a mechanical bull. The WWE women came out and rode it. It wasn’t much of a competition because it went slow and nobody was close to being thrown off.
55
56Miz and Big Show came out to point out what a waste of time this was which led to Murray challenging Show to ride the bull. He of course failed and they played it for comedy but it was one of those segments where nobody is laughing except the guffawing announcers. Three hours later Murray and Jewel made a match with Miz and Show against MVP and Mark Henry.
57
58Miz Show beat Mark Henry and MVP. They showed Bryan Danielson watching backstage, and again the commentary focused on Danielson. They talked about how the internet is angry that Miz is Danielson’s coach given how long Danielson has been wrestling for and how Miz claims Danielson has no personality. It’s at least to me a very intriguing angle and I’m quite curious how the whole thing will turn out. Hopefully they don’t bury Danielson to spite the internet.
59
60Show hit a spear on MVP and followed with chops and a leg drop. Henry got the tag in. He used head butts on Show and a corner avalanche. Miz came off the ropes but was caught with the world’s strongest slam. As Henry turned around Show nailed him with the knockout punch for the pin.
61
62They announced the next entrant into the WWE Hall of Fame is Wendi Richter. It’s a joke pick, but whatever, it’s only the WWE Hall of Fame. She’s probably marginally more deserving than Koko B. Ware given her six month peak was fairly notable. They also announced Cheech and Chong as guest hosts next week as well as Orton vs. DiBiase.
63
64They replayed the Bret Hart angle from last week. Vince said that he was considering facing Bret at Mania, but that now he just wanted to say he had nothing to do with Bret’s accident. Vince invited Bret back next week on Raw to say farewell. After a commercial break they already announced that Bret had accepted. This setup seems to suggest they are going to do the story that Bret faked the car accident. I guess we’ll see how it comes across.
65
66John Cena beat Batista via DQ. Batista kept ducking out between the ropes and then he kicked Cena low for the DQ. He then beat the hell out of Cena. He kicked Cena in the head, threw him into the post, smashed him into the barricade and rammed him into the post on the outside. He then gave him four very hard and spaced out chair shots to the back. This was a great demonstration that a chair shot to the back can be just as effective and dramatic as a shot to the head. I’m very glad that WWE changed their policy on that. This was a very strong angle to close a strong show. I’m really digging heel Batista.
67
68Final Thoughts:
69
70Last week’s bad Raw proved to be a blip rather than a trend. This week’s Raw was an excellent show full of interesting and fun angles from top to bottom. I’m greatly enjoying the WrestleMania build this year and now that they have the major angles announced we’re heading into the home stretch.
71
72POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT (silver text) 1:01 AM (blue hyper) 14 COMMENTS (blue hyper) 
73
74
75MONDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2010
76WWE Raw Report
77Date: 02/15/10 from Des Moines, IA.
78
79The Big News: Well, so much for the streak of excellent Raws. Hell, so much for the streak of non-dreadful Raws, too.
80
81Show Analysis:
82
83Sheamus beat Randy Orton via DQ. There were RKO chants early. Sheamus hit a power slam but missed the big boot. Orton went for the RKO but Sheamus escaped. Orton gained control with the Garvin stomp but was distracted when Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes came to ringside. Sheamus took over with punches, kicks and knees. Orton responded with punches, kicks and stomps. Orton went for the RKO and Sheamus kind of escaped.
84
85On the outside, DiBiase tried to attack Sheamus behind the referee’s back. Sheamus fought him off immediately so Rhodes attacked Sheamus from behind. The referee saw that and disqualified Orton. Afterwards, Orton gave Rhodes the RKO. Sheamus then dove in with a big boot on DiBiase and Orton gave Sheamus the RKO. This match was quite boring with a redundant crap finish.
86
87Bret Hart came to the ring. He said it was no shock that Vince McMahon wasn’t there, because Bret would be waiting for him. Bret said the words were echoing in his head that he deserved to be screwed. Bret said he thought Vince deserves to have the crap beaten out of him. Bret added that he would have loved to take out Vince at WrestleMania but it wasn’t meant to be. He thanked the wrestlers, fans, and John Cena. He said goodbye and left. He said goodbye to the wrestlers backstage, shook hands with Cena, and went to leave. I didn’t understand Bret’s motivation here at all, but that’s a minor quibble compared to what would come.
88
89Next up was the big angle. Off camera a woman backed her car into Bret’s limousine as Bret was getting in. When they panned to Bret, his leg was hanging out of the car. They showed another camera angle later that made it seem Bret’s leg should have been severed or at the very least crushed, but there wasn’t even any blood. Bret was put on a stretcher and left in an ambulance. They played this up as a huge deal throughout the rest of the show. It looked completely fake.
90
91I won’t go so far as to say this was a complete disaster or that they ruined the Bret/Vince angle in one week, but this was such an idiotic, ill-conceived directional turn. Has there ever been a vehicular assault angle in pro wrestling that has worked? It always looks like bullshit. Nobody ever buys it. It just makes the whole angle look fake. And of all the angles to not interject this idiocy into, it was Bret and Vince because the whole reason the angle was working was the realism of it all. People buy that Bret is angry at Vince for Montreal and the years of tumult that followed. Nobody buys that Bret is angry at Vince because Vince paid some woman to try to cripple him with an automobile on Raw.
92
93This is exactly the sort of scenario we all feared WWE would do with Bret and Vince: substitute the real life issue between the two for some contrived, WWE scripted bullshit. After weeks of quality build I had completely let down my guard and assumed WWE was going to follow through this angle well, and then they pull this shit.
94
95Mark Henry and MVP beat Miz and Big Show. MVP hit a yakuza kick on Miz and Henry hit the world’s strongest slam but Show broke up the pin. Big Show tagged in and hit a DDT but missed a Vader bomb. MVP then got the tag. He hit a face buster and yakuza kick on Show but ran into a kick from Show. Miz tagged in and covered, but MVP reversed into a pinfall of his own for the win. This match felt really rushed, as they had to make time for the 45 minute segment that would follow.
96
97Next up was the Jerry Springer Show on Raw. Because, you know, WWE doesn’t want to be viewed as low brow, white trash entertainment. The announcers put Springer over huge and billed him as a television legend, which is sort of like Mel Gibson seeking to salvage his reputation by doing a buddy comedy with Michael Richards. The theme of the show was WWE’s most intimate relationships revealed.
98
99Springer brought out Kelly Kelly, whose acting throughout this segment was Tiffany level atrocious. She said she was pregnant but wasn’t sure of the father because she has been in a lot of relationships. Santino came out and said he was the father. Kelly said that when Santino was sleeping she needed someone to finish the job. Michael Cole then got up and said, “That was our little secret, you loose lipped hussy!” Jerry Lawler then said Kelly was talking about him. Springer of course responded that Kelly was too old for Lawler.
100
101The Bella Twins were out next. Nikki said that Brie was a man and they got into a fight as Santino tried to get people to chant “Jerry.” Springer wanted to know who was in the room with Kelly. Chris Masters came out, which brought out an angry Eve Torres. She got into a fight with Kelly over Kelly taking her man. The wrestlers again tried to get people to chant “Jerry.”
102
103Masters said Torres wasn’t getting the job done. So Torres said she was also cheating with Great Khali. Khali came out and made out with Torres. Springer then said he had the results of the paternity test, and of course it was Hornswoggle. Springer left. Lawler then told Springer this was all a charade. No, really? Ranjin Singh said the Great Khali felt like the audience that this was a waste of time. No, really? Mae Young then came out and made out with Springer as the wrestlers yet again tried to get the crowd to chant “Jerry.” There were more wrestlers chanting “Jerry” than people in the crowd doing so.
104
105This seriously may have been the low point in the history of Raw. Just the most moronic, interminable, negative stereotype-affirming nonsense. “Entertainment” by idiots and for idiots. And no, I don’t consider “it’s supposed to be awful” to be a particularly compelling defense for awful television programming.
106
107Ted DiBiase beat Kofi Kingston in a brief match. Since DiBiase was going over, Kingston got the whole match. He hit a dropkick, clothesline off the top and boom drop. He set up for trouble in paradise but ran into the corner and DiBiase hit Dream Street for the pin.
108
109They announced Antonio Inoki for the WWE Hall of Fame. This was kind of surreal in that they were acknowledging all this history that they have basically pretended never happened for decades. They talked about the formation of New Japan, the match with Muhammad Ali and the shows in North Korea. Props to WWE for bringing this history to the fans’ attention. They also announced Jewel and bull rider Ty Murray as the guest hosts next week. NASCAR, Jerry Springer, bull riding, it just gets better and better.
110
111John Cena was in the ring and had an argument with Batista on the video screen. Cena was sarcastic and smarmy discussing how Batista attacked him from behind. Batista laughed and said Cena keeps running his mouth when Batista isn’t there. Batista said he will be on Raw next week and Cena can run his mouth then. He finally wished Cena luck on Sunday. Maybe it’s just me, but I find Batista’s character so much more likeable than Cena’s.
112
113HHH beat John Cena via DQ. Cena hit a fisherman buster and threw HHH over the top, but accidentally dove into the barricade. HHH got heat during a commercial break but Cena quickly came back with shoulder blocks and the five knuckle. He went for the FU but HHH got out and hit a clothesline. HHH went for a superplex but Cena blocked and hit a top rope rocker dropper. Cena went for the STF but HHH reversed into a half crab. HHH hit a high knee, face buster and spine buster. He went for the pedigree but Sheamus ran in with a big boot for the DQ. He gave Cena the big boot too and hit a razor’s edge on HHH.
114
115I just don’t buy that in 2010 crap finishes help build PPV matches. They’ve been done way too frequently for way too long and they just make matches feel pointless. I’d much rather they book TV matches where guys go over and then match up the guys who go over at the PPV to settle who the best is. Instead, they have a bunch of matches with crap finishes and then the same guys wrestle on the PPV. The hook for watching the PPV seems to be that this time we may actually give you a real finish.
116
117WWE is essentially like a really stupid con man running a shell game. He offers you a free try, only he rigs it so you lose. Then he tries to get you to play again, only this time for $45, and says this time he’s going to play fair. This is not a very profitable con job. There are better strategies to be had, both in terms of engendering goodwill with your audience and in profiting more on PPV.
118
119Final Thoughts:
120
121This was so much worse than other recent editions of Raw. It had bad matches, bad finishes, bad angles and a dreadful Jerry Springer skit. It wasn’t just a letdown, but rather a gigantic step in the wrong direction.
122
123If you want to hear a much more positive take on WWE’s WrestleMania direction, you can check out a podcast I did with Alex Reimer here at www.thesportsstuff.com. It was recorded prior to this edition of Raw and is as a result much more upbeat. Also, I forgot to mention this last week, but I was on the Fight Show podcast with Mauro Ranallo talking wrestling and MMA on February 3, so you can check that out too through iTunes via hardcoresportsradio.com/podcast.
124POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 10:16 PM 16 COMMENTS
125MONDAY, FEBRUARY 08, 2010
126WWE Raw Report
127Date: 02/08/10 from Lafayette, LA.
128
129The Big News: Raw made it two excellent shows in a row. They’re not quite on a Washington Capitals level roll, but they’re doing well for themselves.
130
131Show Analysis:
132
133The show started with a fantastic package on the Bret Hart-Vince McMahon angle from last week. They then showed a NASCAR vehicle spinning in circles in the parking lot. The car came out into the arena and we were supposed to believe it was Carl Edwards, but instead it was Hornswoggle who came out of the car. Edwards then came to the ring separately.
134
135Edwards mentioned the Saints’ Super Bowl win for a cheap pop. The crowd was very happy. He then plugged that he will be driving 500 miles in a circle next weekend, so be sure to mark down that one on your calendar. He said that John Cena is his friend, which brought out Sheamus. Sheamus demanded the last entry slot in the Elimination Chamber. Well, he is the champion. It’s unfair enough he’s thrown into a six way title defense. The last slot is the least thing they could do.
136
137Christian then came out. He got a very nice pop. The announcers said it has been a long time since we’ve seen Christian on Raw. Does 8 weeks really qualify? Christian said that NASCAR is blowing up in Canada and that it almost makes Canadians feel okay about losing out on a WNBA franchise. Woah, hold up. Now that’s just uncalled for. The WNBA is a legitimate sport with real athletes and deserves respect. Contrary to what Ben Miller or other chauvinists may say.
138
139They brought up that ECW would be folding and that WWE NXT would be taking its place. Sheamus thought this would mean Christian’s unemployment, so he evidently isn’t very bright. Now if he’d said that about Trent Barreta and Caylen Croft, he might be onto something. Christian said instead that the ECW guys would be free agents. Oh my god. The Instant Classic’s coming back to TNA. Hogan’s done it again! Christian challenged Sheamus to a match and Edwards made it immediately.
140
141Sheamus beat Christian. Sheamus hit a fall away slam and clotheslined Christian to the floor. Christian came back with a springboard crossbody to the floor, missile dropkick, neck breaker and tornado DDT. Sheamus turned the tide with a big boot and abruptly hit the razor’s edge for the pin.
142
143This was WWE making perfectly clear where ECW stands in its hierarchy. And I’m not complaining at all. Really, with the ECW title disappearing shortly and the success of the undisputed tag team titles, I say WWE should just go ahead and create one unified heavyweight champion. That should be built up so it means something, but why not shoot for a SummerSlam unification?
144
145Backstage, Shawn Michaels suggested to Triple H that they could be a part of WrestleMania together. HHH responded that he is planning to take the singles title in the Chamber. Elsewhere, Cody Rhodes told Ted DiBiase that he thought he could have beaten Mark Henry to qualify for the Chamber. DiBiase told him to stop whining. Rhodes then asked whether DiBiase would have beaten John Cena. DiBiase said he is better than Rhodes and Cena. Randy Orton came in. He announced DiBiase vs. Cena and Rhodes vs. Orton.
146
147Big Show and Miz beat DX and the Straight Edge Society to win the unified tag titles. Prior to the match, CM Punk said that when people celebrate Mardi Gras or Super Bowl victories they turn to drugs and alcohol because they are weak and don’t know any better. Punk said he would show why straight edge means he’s better than us. You know, upon further reflection, I’m not sure he means me. So until he specifies, I’m going to assume he means he’s showing why straight edge means he’s better than you. No offense.
148
149Punk then did a mini-angle with Jared the Subway Guy. Hey, at least he wasn’t guest host. Punk tried to recruit him to be the spokesperson for straight edge. Jared said no so the Straight Edge society was getting ready to submarine him when DX made the save and the tag match began.
150
151Three men were in at the same time, so the heels teamed up to beat down HHH. HHH got the tag to Michaels. Michaels went for his nip up spot but then quickly got up after remembering what happened last week. That was a nice little touch. Michaels hit an elbow off the top and sweet chin music on Punk to eliminate the Straight Edge Society.
152
153Big Show immediately went to town on Michaels for a while. Michaels hit sweet chin music on Show and tagged HHH. HHH hit a high knee, face buster and spine buster on Miz. Michaels then tagged himself in. HHH was confused and as he spoke with Michaels about this Miz threw Michaels into HHH and rolled up Michaels for the pin. This was a good match.
154
155Backstage, Big Show and Miz celebrated their title win. Show said that with Chris Jericho he never beat DX and with Miz he did it the first time. Show said that Miz treats him as an equal and a friend. Show was so proud in saying this like he had emotional scars from his treatment by Jericho and it came across absolutely hilarious. Miz said that together they will run WWE. Miz referred to them as Miz Show but Show said he preferred Show Miz.
156
157Backstage, Shawn Michaels desperately asked Teddy Long to trade for him so he could be put in the Smackdown Elimination Chamber. He came across pathetic, begging and pleading. Long said the Elimination Chamber was set. Michaels started yelling and grabbing Long. HHH then came in and tried to stop Michaels.
158
159Michaels said his career is over and gave Long sweet chin music. Carlito was in the background for this entire angle laughing and Michaels’ kick sent both Long and Carlito falling to the floor. I assume Carlito was there to break Long’s fall on the floor. If that wasn’t the idea, this was dumb because Carlito took away from the seriousness of the angle. It worked well either way, though.
160
161Gail Kim beat Jillian Hall. This match went no time at all. Hall got in a few moves and then Kim hit her finisher “eat defeat” for the pin. After the match, Maryse again said she wanted to have a good match with Gail Kim. She then said a whole lot of stuff of French while smiling. No good disingenuous French Canadians! She laughed and offered Kim a handshake. They announced Ted DiBiase for this year’s Hall of Fame.
162
163Cody Rhodes beat Randy Orton. Orton slapped Rhodes and Rhodes gave Orton a dropkick. Orton hit some punches and Rhodes used a side Russian leg sweep. Rhodes missed a crossbody off the ropes and Orton was setting up for the RKO when Sheamus ran out for a distraction and Rhodes hit the roll of the dice for the pin. The announcers were selling that Rhodes might be in cahoots with Sheamus but Rhodes protected Orton with a chair. There was no heat for any of this.
164
165This Legacy breakup angle isn’t working. The problem is that WWE in the name of unpredictability hasn’t invested the fans in anything. It’s the same problem to a lesser extent with the title matches for WrestleMania. Do we want Orton to turn face on Rhodes and DiBiase? Do we want Rhodes and DiBiase to turn face on Orton? Do we want them all to turn on each other?
166
167It’s completely unclear and without the audience being conditioned to want something, it doesn’t care what happens. This angle ought to be so simple. One guy is being manipulated and cheated by the other two. It builds up for week after week until finally he fights back and the crowd goes crazy. But I guess that’s just too much like pro wrasslin’. Shades of grey. Unpredictability. Etc.
168
169Backstage, Carl Edwards promised something special for next week that fans would never forget. What was this monumental announcement? Singles matches with Sheamus vs. Orton, DiBiase vs. Kingston and HHH vs. Cena. Edwards acted like he had just announced Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart and Hulk Hogan vs. Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle and Undertaker. The announcers then marked out like this was an unbelievable development. I was very confused.
170
171John Cena was supposed to wrestle Ted DiBiase, but he just attacked him and applied the STF on the floor. DiBiase tapped but there was no match. An angry Cena called out Batista, but Batista didn’t show up. Cena said he thinks Vince McMahon was behind what Batista did last week so he called Vince out. Vince came out with security. Cena told Vince to come in the ring himself or he’d beat up all the security and then would be much angrier.
172
173Vince McMahon admitted paying Batista to screw Bret Hart again. However, he said he had nothing to do with Batista attacking Cena. Cena wanted to know why and Vince suggested maybe it was because Cena eliminated Batista at the Rumble or maybe Batista just doesn’t like Cena.
174
175Cena said that Vince is just about money. Cena said that he does it instead because he loves it. Cena then kept talking about doing it for money versus doing it for love. I like that Cena wasn’t smiling and joking, but this material was so corny. Cena managed to pull it off with his delivery anyway. Cena asked Vince if he would take the match. Vince said yes.
176
177After another video package on what Vince did last week, Bret attacked Vince with punches. Vince ran off. He then said that he changed his mind and that there wouldn’t be a match because Bret deserved to be screwed. Bret then went after the WWE video equipment ala Montreal. He didn’t write WCW in the air, though. I’m not sure the audience understood the significance of this, but I thought it worked well and this was another strong close to the show.
178
179Final Thoughts:
180
181The Bret Hart-Vince McMahon and Shawn Michaels-Undertaker build continues to be very good and there was some good wrestling and good supplementary angles on this show as well.
182POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 11:03 PM 10 COMMENTS
183TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 02, 2010
184Academy Gets It Right
185When the Oscars announced they would be expanding to 10 films, there was skepticism from a lot of people (including myself) that they would end up honoring second tier "prestige" films rather than the best popular films of the year (think last year including Revolutionary Road rather than Wall-E). Well, those fears turned out to be unfounded. The Oscars I think did a great job picking the field for Best Picture even in what I don't think was a particularly strong year for movies. They got the prestige films you would expect like Up in the Air, Precious and A Serious Man, but they also nailed my favorite films of the year from outside that group (Inglourious Basterds, Up and District 9). I think it's a field that will generate a lot more interest in the Oscars this year and I'll be interested to see what comes out on top.
186POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 3:16 PM 2 COMMENTS
187MONDAY, FEBRUARY 01, 2010
188A Short Novel on Raw
189Date: 02/01/10 from Nashville, TN.
190
191The Big News: WrestleMania is approaching and WWE delivered one of its strongest and most memorable Raw efforts in a while.
192
193Show Analysis:
194
195The show started with a graphic for Jack Brisco. Edge then came out. He noted that he is not only back but in the WrestleMania main event. He said he was expected to be out longer but he watched the Slammy Awards and heard Chris Jericho thank him for getting injured so Jericho could team with Big Show. At that moment, Edge said the room went silent, not just because Dennis Miller bombed with another brutal joke but because Edge made a vow he wouldn’t miss Mania for a third time with an injury.
196
197Edge said that he’s the ultimate opportunist and the Rumble was his opportunity to make it back to a Mania main event. Edge said that Jericho has a Slammy and his mug shot on TMZ while Edge has his ticket to Mania. I like little jabs like the TMZ one because it makes the feud feel more real. Edge asked rhetorically whether it would be smarter to go after the champion who is 17-0 or the champion who has never competed at Mania. He said he would do the smart thing and wait until after the Elimination Chamber to make a decision.
198
199This was a good promo by Edge. I’m glad he’s back as I think he’s one of the best performers they have and he feels fresher than most of the main event mix. Interestingly, his promo was kind of heelish in that the opportunism stuff made him come across kind of like a coward. I’m not sure if the idea is to gradually shift his character or what.
200
201Sheamus came out to join Edge in the ring. He said that a lot has changed since Edge left. He conceded that he hasn’t wrestled at Mania but added that he did something Edge couldn’t do at Mania, beat John Cena. Edge said he has made a career of beating Cena for the title. Sheamus said he will walk out of the Elimination Chamber as champion. He then told Edge to leave before he put him back on the shelf. Edge didn’t leave so Sheamus attacked him. Edge fought off Sheamus with punches of his own.
202
203I absolutely hate the idea of putting up a title in an Elimination Chamber in February. The Elimination Chamber ought to be the way the other brand creates a challenger for WrestleMania, like they have done previously. That way both major Mania title shots are treated as huge deals that you have to go through a lot to earn. It builds up both the Royal Rumble and Elimination Chamber as really important and ties the Chamber PPV to the Rumble PPV. Here, the Elimination Chamber undermines the significance of the Rumble, because five different guys are getting a title shot and the chance to headline Mania just one month after the supposedly all important Rumble.
204
205John Cena beat Cody Rhodes to qualify for the Elimination Chamber. Rhodes gained the advantage very early but Cena hit the Cena slam and five knuckle. He went for the FU but Rhodes fought out and hit a clothesline and moonsault. Cena responded with the FU out of nowhere for the pin. Backstage, William Shatner told Vince McMahon he couldn’t wait for Bret Hart to embarrass him.
206
207Triple H beat Jack Swagger to qualify for the Elimination Chamber. Swagger hit a DDT, leg drops, and applied an abdominal stretch. He went for a Vader bomb but HHH got up his knees. HHH went for the pedigree but Swagger reversed and hit the Vader bomb for two. HHH then quickly hit the pedigree for the pin.
208
209They did a skit with William Shatner doing spoken word versions of Shawn Michaels, John Cena, Rey Mysterio and Triple H’s themes. This didn’t really do it for me comically but I thought it was a clever idea that just didn’t click for whatever reason.
210
211Backstage, Triple H met with Shawn Michaels. HHH was joking around with Michaels and trying to cheer him up but Michaels was just too depressed. HHH told Michaels to get into the Chamber and take the title.
212
213Randy Orton beat Shawn Michaels. Michaels hit a swinging neck breaker but missed sweet chin music. Orton retaliated with a back breaker and dropkick. Michaels then came back with a top rope elbow but his sweet chin music attempt was countered into an RKO attempt. Michaels avoided that and hit an atomic drop and flying forearm. Michaels went for his usual nip up but Orton quickly rolled him up for the pin. I loved that finish given Michaels has been telegraphing that nip up spot for over a decade now.
214
215After the match, Michaels was really down. His facials were phenomenal. He sold extreme frustration but at the same time was able to avoid coming across like he was throwing an unsympathetic hissy fit. That’s a tricky balance and Michaels pulled it off so perfectly. This really was great. 
216
217Backstage, Ted DiBiase told Randy Orton he was sorry about what happened at the Rumble. A seething Orton just left and DiBiase stood there looking rather angry in his own right. This segment made it pretty clear that these men now no longer trust or like each other and that the breakup is coming, probably at Elimination Chamber.
218
219The Legacy breakup is going to be tricky. It has been booked of late so fans sympathize more with Orton, but I don’t see how they can elevate Rhodes or DiBiase out of the feud if Orton goes face. His face turn will be the central focus and they’ll put him strong over the other two. It will be so hard to book it in a way that Rhodes and DiBiase come out stronger than they went in. I know Orton is going to be a hot face sooner rather than later, but I really think they should find a way to go with the seeming original idea of a heel Rhodes and Orton against a face DiBiase. It’s just so much more conducive to creating a new star. Turn Orton later on.
220
221Ted DiBiase beat Mark Henry in an Elimination Chamber qualifier. Henry clotheslined DiBiase to the floor but DiBiase took over there. DiBiase sent Henry’s arm into the post and the steps. Henry gained control with a clothesline and head butt but DiBiase went after the arm when Henry tried the world’s strongest slam. Henry avoided dream street but missed a corner avalanche and DiBiase hit a DDT with the arm for the pin.
222
223WWE ran a video package on Jack Brisco. I thought it was well intentioned but really poor in giving credit to how successful his career was. It portrayed him primarily as a tag team star and spent more time on the Brisco Brothers Body Shop than his NWA World Title runs. There wasn’t a single mention of Dory Funk, Jr. It felt more like they were honoring the brother of a long time front office employee than one of the greatest wrestlers of all time.
224
225Backstage, Maryse said she was looking forward to wrestling Gail Kim. Didn’t WWE just announce they were going to wrestle on this show? Maryse said she was embarrassed watching Mickie James and Michelle McCool on Smackdown and said they shouldn’t be acting that way. She said they are grown women and should act that way. Gail reluctantly said okay. Maryse then said something (I assume something bad) in French to Gail.
226
227Miz and Big Show were backstage when they were confronted by the Straight Edge Society. CM Punk said they were there to get a title shot with DX. Miz and Show said they wanted the title shot. William Shatner came in and made a triple threat title match for next week on Raw. He then froze in a smiling position and kept saying “freeze the frame” to the wrestlers. They all looked at him like he was a complete idiot. This was amusing.
228
229HHH backstage told Michaels that he was spiraling down. He told Shawn that this wasn’t the end of the world and that there are plenty of other guys to wrestle at Mania. “Not for me,” Shawn replied. They announced Carl Edwards from NASCAR will be the guest host next week. Yay, more NASCAR hosts! What, was Larry the Cable Guy unavailable? Oh shit, pretend I never said that.
230
231Kofi Kingston beat Big Show via DQ to qualify for the Chamber. Kingston crotched Show and dropkicked him to the floor. Show came back with a spear. Miz was taunting Kingston at ringside but MVP came out and chased Miz to the back. Kingston kind of hit a top rope dropkick and used the boom drop but Show powered out of a pin attempt. 
232
233Show went for a choke slam but Kingston accidentally thumbed him in the eye. Show went for the KO punch but couldn’t see and hit the referee. Another referee came out and called for a DQ. This was such a crappy finish that you could hear boos even with the face winning.
234
235I hate crap finishes in general. I think you can pretty much always book in a way to avoid them. For example here just book Kingston to beat someone else clean to qualify. It would give him more momentum going into the match and you wouldn’t have this sour tasting crap finish teaching you that you can’t trust a match to end with a halfway decent ending.
236
237But even in the spectrum of crap finishes, this was particularly bad. It made no damn sense. Kingston uses an illegal tactic accidentally and as a direct result Show accidentally hits the referee. How is Show responsible for this turn of events if someone must be blamed? It was Kingston’s damn fault if we must apply a strict liability standard that’s contrary to how matches are usually done.
238
239And why must someone be blamed if there was no malicious intent? I’ve seen 8,000 accidental ref bumps over the years with no DQ called. DQs are sometimes called when the referee thinks the wrestler did it intentionally, but here there’s no way the second referee could possibly have thought this was intentional. Thus the DQ felt absurd.
240
241This is just elementary human logic and ethics. A six year old would understand why this was unjust to the heel and yet this referee is booked to be so monumentally idiotic. You don’t see guys in the NFL getting 15 yard misconducts for accidentally running into the official. You should at least be able to avoid crap finishes that don’t even make sense within the context of what you do every single week. Ugh.
242
243The final segment of the show started with Jerry Lawler introducing William Shatner. Shatner “accidentally” fell on Lawler for comedy. Shatner then introduced Bret Hart. I don’t know what it was, but facially he looked more like the younger Bret Hart I remember. He then cut an awesome promo.
244
245Bret said that he came back for the right reasons and to make peace. He noted that was naive. Bret said this time he wasn’t there for peace but to talk to Bret face to face. Vince McMahon then came out. He said that he regrets nothing he ever said or did to Bret. Bret said that was the first honest thing Vince has ever said. He called Vince the world’s greatest liar. He noted some of the lies Vince told including saying that he was like a father to Bret.
246
247Bret said Vince couldn’t lace his father’s jock. Bret talked about when he was in a wheelchair following his stroke. Bret said he got out of the wheelchair and vowed he would never feel pathetic again. Then he came to WWE to make amends and got kicked in the guts and felt pathetic. Bret talked about working so hard for Vince and how Vince never appreciated it. He said that if he was chewing gum like Vince said, this gum had enough flavor left to kick Vince’s ass.
248
249This promo by Bret Hart was exactly what was needed. It was passionate, well scripted and well delivered. It was thoroughly believable and touched on so many real issues between Bret and Vince. It was pretty much the ideal promo you would want Bret to cut on Vince. Bret really delivered here.
250
251Vince responded by saying Bret is pathetic. He has no personality, and without personalities like Mr. Perfect, Shawn Michaels and Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bret would have been a footnote. He added that Bret has no charisma and no command of the English language. He said that Bret was dressed like a hobo and deserved to be screwed. He then said that he wouldn’t induct Stu Hart into the Hall of Fame because Stu doesn’t deserve it.
252
253The scripting of Vince’s promo was fantastic. I loved the knocks of Bret and the final jab at Stu was a great way to spur Bret into physical action. With that said, I didn’t care for Vince’s delivery at all. He seemed way too pleased with himself as a performer and delivered it in a hammy and goofy manner that undermined the material in my mind. He came across like a character rather than the real Vince from Montreal. People wanted to see Stone Cold kick the ass of the character Mr. McMahon. But people want to see Bret kick the ass of the real Vince McMahon and Vince making ridiculous faces undermined the reality Bret had interjected into his promo.
254
255Bret pulled Vince’s coat over his head and attacked Vince with punches. He went for the sharpshooter but Batista came in and took Bret down with punches. He held Bret and Vince spit in Bret’s face. I wish it weren’t true, but there’s no getting around the fact that the physicality between Bret and Vince and Batista looked awful. But WWE now has basically everything they need for a huge Bret vs. Vince confrontation at Mania. They’ve got the great Bret promo and the image of Vince spitting in Bret’s face is a tremendous visual they can air a million times between now and then. Overall this segment was a big success.
256
257Final Thoughts:
258
259The main section of this report is particularly heavy with analysis of this show, but I wanted to close with one final point on what was generally a very strong build for WrestleMania.
260
261There was a lot of good stuff on Raw, but I think the best stuff was Michaels’ performance in building a match with Undertaker. I criticize Raw a lot, because I think frequently it’s a very poorly written show. But this Michaels-Taker feud is being masterfully put together.
262
263Thinking about a Michaels-Taker rematch, the logical thing to do to build the match would be to push Michaels really strong. Michaels wins a whole bunch of matches and is booked really strong so you think he just might be able to beat Taker. What WWE has done is pretty much the opposite. I never would have thought to do it that way, but it is working so much better than if they had just pushed Michaels strong.
264
265By booking Michaels to fail repeatedly and sink into a state of depression and despair, it makes him such a sympathetic character. You see just how much he wants to beat Undertaker. He isn’t just saying it but showing it through his actions. It seems to mean more to him than Taker’s streak has ever meant to Taker. And the effect of that emotion is that by the time Mania comes, so many people are going to want to see Michaels accomplish this goal.
266
267Watching this show, I found it hard to imagine Michaels failing at his goal to defeat Undertaker. It felt like Michaels would just leave forever and never show his face again if he couldn’t do it. That emotion has injected so much energy in this match and I think the Michaels vs. Taker Mania rematch is shaping up to be the best built WWE program since Batista vs. HHH.
268POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 11:16 PM 10 COMMENTS
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401
402 ~~~~
403
404
405SMASHMOUTH DRIVING
406MONDAY, JUNE 25, 2012
407WWE Raw Report
408
409Date: 06/25/12 from Ft. Wayne, IN.
410
411The Big News: John Cena made a historic announcement on Raw.
412
413Show Analysis:
414
415Backstage, AJ told Daniel Bryan she knows he has feelings for her but they need to drift apart, told Kane she loses inhibitions around him but he’s a monster rather than a man and told Punk she thinks of him as her soul mate but doesn’t think he thinks what she thinks he’s thinking so it’s best they all go separate ways. The camera panned around to reveal she was talking into a mirror.
416
417Vickie Guerrero came out and said she expects to be made the permanent GM on the 1000th episode of Raw. She announced the opening match.
418
419Daniel Bryan beat Kane and CM Punk in an elimination match. They wrestled for a while until of course A.J. had to come out to create a finish. She distracted Kane, Punk avoided a choke slam, and Punk gave Kane the GTS for a pin. Bryan then kicked Punk in the head for the pin. I hate this feud. The title is even more meaningless than it has been recently. None of the wrestlers have any agency and are just pawns for a completely unbelievable non-wrestling character out of Melrose Place once Melrose Place went to total shit. The result of their match is determined every week by whatever A.J. wants to do.
420
421Backstage, Alberto Del Rio presented Vickie Guerrero with flowers. He wanted to be the number one contender for the world title. Dolph Ziggler came in and said he should be the number one contender. Exactly how many matches does Ziggler have to lose to fall out of contention for the world title? Guerrero announced Ziggler vs. Del Rio in a contract on a pole match for a title shot on Smackdown. Ziggler threw the vase that held Del Rio’s flowers against the wall.
422
423Big Show beat Brodus Clay. Clay hit his head butt early and knocked down Show. But Show took over by attacking Clay’s leg. Clay avoided the KO punch but when he went for a body slam, Show fell on him to score the pin. As Show was being helped to the back during a commercial break, Show hit him with the KO punch. They announced that next week Brock Lesnar will answer HHH’s challenge for SummerSlam.
424
425A.J. wanted to chat with Kane backstage. Kane basically said he’s crazy but even he finds A.J. mentally unstable and was breaking things off. This seemed like a write off of Kane from the angle don’t for comedy. A.J. acted upset but then broke into laughter, which came across as poorly executed soap.
426
427Santino Marella beat Jack Swagger. Swagger worked over Santino briefly. Santino hit a hip toss and head butt but Swagger grabbed him when he went for the cobra. Santino reversed with a DDT and hit the cobra for the pin.
428
429John Cena came out to a pretty strong negative reaction, although of course he had plenty of cheers too. He did this lame, irritating Star Wars comedy routine. He said he had a historic announcement but Chris Jericho interrupted. Jericho received loud Y2J chants despite having been a pretty unredeemable heel for months. A lot of people just don’t want him as a heel. Jericho told Cena to just make his announcement and go away.
430
431Cena said his historic announcement is that he’s entering the Money in the Bank ladder match. Cena said he would win the whole fudging thing. Jericho asked if Cena is nine years old. Cena responded that most of their viewers are that age. It’s telling they’re going on that completely false premise. Jericho said he would enter too and win. Vickie said they couldn’t just enter themselves into the match, but then said they were in along with Kane and Big Show. Vickie also announced Jericho vs. Cena for later in the show.
432
433Sid beat Heath Slater. Slater said he rules the world, which was the cue for Sid’s music to hit. Sid hit a spine buster. Slater briefly worked Sid over. Sid then hit the power bomb for the win. Sid wasn’t moving around very well but it was fun to see him. These segments are enjoyable. They announced Charlie Sheen will plug WWE and his new TV show on social media during Raw’s 1000th episode.
434
435Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio’s contract on a pole match didn’t have a finish. I know, right? They were fighting for the contract and Ziggler pulled it off. But they ruled that if you don’t have control of the contract after pulling it off, that doesn’t count as a win. So they fought over the contract on the floor. And then Sheamus just came out and said they shouldn’t bother to finish the match but instead they’d just have a triple threat title match on Smackdown. This was so dumb.
436
437They announced Bryan vs. Punk for the title at MITB. A.J. apologized to Punk for what happened earlier on Raw. She said she would dedicate her match to him. Punk said after that they would have a serious discussion. A.J. didn’t take the hint and said she was open to taking things to the next level.
438
439A.J. won a women’s battle royal. Vickie Guerrero came out and entered herself last. She stripped down to a bathing suit and looked good for a 44-year-old woman while the other women acted like they were disgusted and Jerry Lawler told jokes at her expense. All the women then basically dove out of the ring as quickly as humanly possible.
440
441A.J., Layla and Vickie were left. A.J. threw Layla onto the apron. Layla didn’t go out but Beth tried to pull her off the apron and that allowed A.J. to knock Layla off. Vickie then threw A.J. through the ropes from behind but A.J. didn’t go out. Vickie celebrated but A.J. got back in and attacked her. Vickie fled out of the ring and A.J. won. A.J. did the yes chant as a tease she’ll make Bryan the winner at MITB rather than making Punk the winner.
442
443John Cena beat Chris Jericho via DQ. There were dueling chants. Jericho worked over Cena. Cena hit a Cena slam but Jericho countered the five knuckle. Cena avoided the walls but Cena avoided the FU. Cena hit the Cena slam again and the five knuckle this time. Then Big Show came out for the finish. Jericho used the distraction to apply the walls. Despite Cena being caught in the hold, Show came into the ring and hit a leg drop on Cena for the DQ. It was a fittingly awful finish on a night of awful finishes. An angry Jericho left and Show choked Cena for a while to close the show.
444
445Final Thoughts:
446
447Thumbs down.
448POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 8:38 PM 4 COMMENTS
449MONDAY, JUNE 18, 2012
450WWE Raw Report
451
452Date: 06/18/12 from Long Island, NY.
453
454The Big News: John Laurinaitis got an unfriendly sendoff.
455
456Show Analysis:
457
458The show started with Mick Foley. Foley said that while the board of directors is trying to find the next permanent GMs for Raw and Smackdown, the board will be reaching out to former GMs on an interim basis. Couldn’t we just go a few weeks with wrestlers being the focus rather than authority figures? Foley said that he will host Raw and Smackdown this week and announced Kane and Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk and Sheamus. He added that John Laurinaitis would have an opportunity to give a farewell address.
459
460John Laurinaitis came out in a neck brace, arm sling and crutch. He said that he would give his farewell address. He claimed that before he was fired, he made a main event for Raw of John Cena vs. Big Show, David Otunga and John Laurinaitis in a handicap match.
461
462CM Punk and Sheamus beat Daniel Bryan and Kane. The heels had control over Punk early, but Punk tagged Sheamus. Sheamus hit a shoulder block, knee, powerslam and back breaker on Kane. Kane regained control by throwing Sheamus over the top rope. Bryan and Kane worked over Sheamus until Bryan missed a dropkick into the corner and Punk got the tag.
463
464Punk and Bryan had a great fast sequence that culminated in Punk hitting a powerslam. He followed with a high knee and bulldog but when he went to the top Bryan caught him with a superplex. Then A.J. came out skipping around the ring in a Kane mask. Kane decided just to give up on the match and stand on the ramp because of this. Punk hit the GTS and Sheamus hit the Brogue kick on Bryan for the pin. This was a good match with another idiotic finish.
465
466Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger argued backstage. Vickie Guerrero said she spoke to Foley and they would settle their issue in the ring. Guerrero smiled when they left like she is up to something. David Otunga and John Laurinaitis were laughing elsewhere backstage. Big Show came in and was not amused. Laurinaitis said Show would knock out Cena and Laurinaitis would make the cover. Laurinaitis added the people don’t deserve him and he would leave a lasting impression. Show retorted that he didn’t find anything funny.
467
468Dolph Ziggler beat Jack Swagger. The crowd chanted “let’s go Ziggler.” Swagger worked over Ziggler and applied the ankle lock. Ziggler reversed the ankle lock and sent Swagger into the post. Ziggler then hit the zig zag for the win. Guerrero kissed Ziggler after the match.
469
470Paul Heyman came out to a nice reaction and ECW chants. Heyman said Brock Lesnar won’t drop his lawsuit and won’t fight HHH at SummerSlam. He started to leave when HHH came out. HHH labeled Heyman an habitual liar and said Lesnar will fight him at SummerSlam. He offered to make Lesnar the focus of the promotion for the event. Heyman said Lesnar has no ego but HHH mocked this. HHH suggested Lesnar is scared. Heyman told HHH to stop playing a fighter and go back to his ivory tower. Heyman mocked HHH and said he knows how to push HHH’s buttons.
471
472Heyman encouraged HHH to hit him, saying that Heyman and Lesnar would own WWE. Heyman added he would have nothing for HHH but does have something for Stephanie. HHH grabbed Heyman but then let him go. Heyman said he sees everything HHH is going to do a mile away. HHH hit Heyman and asked if Heyman saw that coming. Heyman was really good here but it still has the basic limitation that arguing about contracts and lawsuits is a boring and ineffective way of building a big match.
473
474Alberto Del Rio beat Santino Marella. Del Rio controlled the brief match. Santino made his comeback but Del Rio avoided the cobra and hit a dropkick and applied the armbar for the tap. Ricardo Rodriguez attacked Santino’s arm after Del Rio left.
475
476Layla introduced Wendy Richter and Cyndi Lauper. The crowd wasn’t into this and chanted “we want Ryder.” They were interrupted by Heath Slater. Slater labeled this a trainwreck. Lauper asked who he was. Slater started singing terribly. Roddy Piper came out. He was nice to the women and told Slater to leave. Slater pointed out Piper didn’t like Lauper back in the day. Piper referenced hitting Lou Albano with a gold record. He said he was sorry and presented Lauper a gold record on behalf of Albano. He said Lauper is gold to WWE for everything she has done and hugged her. Slater belittled them and started singing again. Piper poked him in the eye and Lauper hit him with the record. Slater was busted open.
477
478This was designed to be bad, but I enjoyed the segment. It was nice to see Lauper in a WWE ring again and Piper seemed to have genuine affection for her. The big negative (besides the crowd not being that into it) was Vince McMahon clearly instructing Michael Cole to spend the entire time burying the segment, which severely undermined what they were doing. It sure would be nice if Vince treated the people who built his company with respect rather than ridiculing them as old and out of date whenever they appear. Particularly given he’s older and much more out of touch than most of the people he buries as old and out of touch.
479
480Primo and Epico Colon beat Titus O’Neil and Darren Young via count out. Primo hit the backstabber on Young but O’Neil pulled Young out of the ring. The Colons hit a double baseball slide but A.W. pulled his troops back and they were counted out. This was a terrible finish. It would be so much more effective if one of these teams scored an impressive clean win over a third team to build up their feud.
481
482They announced Chris Jericho will be on Raw next week. John Laurinaitis before the main event said in being fired he isn’t the loser but rather the losers are the fans who no longer have people power. Big Show then said he isn’t beholden to anyone including Laurinaitis. Show said he has proven he can beat Cena and now he is on to bigger and better things. He told Otunga and Laurinaitis they were on their own.
483
484John Cena beat David Otunga and John Laurinaitis. As Cena was beating up Otunga early, Otunga went for the tag but Laurinaitis wouldn’t do it. Otunga eventually gained control and worked over Cena. The crowd chanted “we want Ryder,” quite the statement about their interest in WWE’s main event program. With Otunga in control, Laurinaitis tagged in. He took off the neck brace and arm sling and started stomping Cena. Laurinaitis pinned Cena but Cena kicked out with ease. Laurinaitis then went to tag Otunga back in, but Otunga this time refused and left. Cena hit the five knuckle shuffle and three FUs for the win.
485
486Final Thoughts:
487
488When I say Raw is good by current Raw standards, everyone seems to think it’s some sort of backhanded compliment, like a good Raw these days is still a bad wrestling show in general. And to those people I say, well, I liked this show by current Raw standards.
489POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 8:23 PM 4 COMMENTS
490MONDAY, JUNE 11, 2012
491WWE Raw Report
492
493Date: 06/11/12 from Hartford, CT.
494
495The Big News: TNA has been really good lately.
496
497Show Analysis:
498
499John Laurinaitis came out to start the show, but as he introduced himself he was interrupted by Vince McMahon. Laurinaitis offered a handshake but Vince wouldn’t shake, saying he didn’t know where that hand had been. Vince asked Laurinaitis for one reason not to fire him. Laurinaitis responded people power and sucked up to Vince. Vince brought up the Brock Lesnar contract and Laurinaitis signing the wrong one legged wrestler. That got no reaction from the crowd but I thought it was an amusing line.
500
501Vince buried Big Show and his new contract, saying Show hasn’t performed well since 1999 and is a terrible investment. That was quite the line about your PPV headlining monster heel. Laurinaitis responded that Vince is just biased because Vince’s head was once shoved up Show’s ass. Laurinaitis said the wrestlers look at him like a friend. Sheamus came out and called Laurinaitis the worst WWE GM ever and asked Vince to fire him. Laurinaitis was angry and said he would find an opponent for Sheamus. Vince told Laurinaitis to impress him or Laurinaitis will be fired. For good measure, Vince pushed Laurinaitis’ cart off the stage.
502
503Sheamus beat Tensai. Tensai worked over Sheamus, including a knee to the head and Vader bomb for two. Sheamus made his comeback with punches against the ropes but was caught with a tree slam as he was coming off the top rope. Tensai followed with head butts but Sheamus hit the brogue kick out of the blue for the pin. Tensai looked as good as he has since coming back here.
504
505Backstage, Vince told Laurinaitis that was strike one. Vince wanted to know Sheamus’ opponent for the title Sunday since Alberto Del Rio is out. Vickie Guerrero came in and suggested that Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler as former world champions should be considered. Teddy Long noted Great Khali and Christian are also former champions and those four should be in a fatal four way for the title shot. What a scary statement about what they’ve done to titles that four guys so low on the card all have held the title. Vince liked this idea so Laurinaitis took credit and offered a fist bump to Vince. Vince said Laurinaitis has small hands and left.
506
507Back in the ring, Tensai was yelling at his second Sakamoto. Tensai attacked Sakamoto and threw him into the post and barricade. Then backstage R. Truth did goofy comedy about his invisible friend and said Cena will beat Show Sunday. Show knocked Truth out.
508
509Beth Phoenix and Ricardo Rodriguez beat Layla and Santino Marella. Ricardo tagged himself in and wanted to go after Layla but then ran away when Santino came in. Beth came back in and fought with Layla. Ricardo tried to interfere but was sent out by Layla. Santino went for the cobra on Ricardo on the outside but Ricardo ran away into the ring post. Beth then pinned Layla in the ring with the glam slam. Afterwards, Santino pulled off Ricardo’s dress shirt to reveal a Justin Bieber t-shirt and Ricardo freaked out. WWE comedy.
510
511David Otunga told Vince McMahon that John Laurinaitis is doing a good job but that Otunga would be a good replacement. Vince said he dislikes lawyers. Kofi Kingston came in and wanted a match with Big Show. Laurinaitis made it a cage match.
512
513Daniel Bryan came out and said he’s nothing like CM Punk and Kane. He said they have a weakness for A.J. Bryan said he made Punk tap so Punk got with his ex-girlfriend to try to make him jealous. Meanwhile, Kane thinks he is getting to second base when a girl looks him in the eye and doesn’t vomit. Bryan said A.J. is still in love with him. The crowd chanted yes. He said that once you go Bryan, there’s no point in tryin’. Bryan said he isn’t interested in A.J. but just taking the title Sunday.
514
515Punk came out. He said A.J.’s actually pretty cool but sort of crazy and he digs crazy chicks. He’s going to look like the biggest fool on the face of the Earth if she turns on him. Punk said Sunday he will either beat the delusional out of his mind freak or he’ll beat Kane. Bryan said Punk has changed, and that now he is a pandering sellout. Punk retorted, “So says the ‘superstar’ in the yes t-shirt.
516
517Punk brought up his promo a year ago. He said people tell him that was one of the best moments in Raw history but he doesn’t like them because they weren’t behind him when he started in WWE. Great call there, Punk. The people who liked the references to ROH and Colt Cabana weren’t the ones who were with you from the start. It’s the people who like your WWE Universe references that were. Punk claimed he hasn’t changed at all since that promo and that he hasn’t kissed ass or compromised himself. Then he called Bryan goat face. It’s amusing to see Punk simultaneously distance himself from the things that got him hot while also claiming he hasn’t changed.
518
519Kane came out. He brought up some of his goofy angles for comedy. He said his pipe bombs are actually pipe bombs and he will take the title at the PPV. A.J. was last out. She said when she looked into Kane’s eyes, she saw he has heart. She said she hasn’t gotten over Bryan. Finally, she said Punk is pretty much the coolest guy she’s ever known. A.J. said Sunday the best man will win. Laurinaitis booked a Bryan and Kane vs. Punk and A.J. match.
520
521Dolph Ziggler beat Christian, Great Khali and Jack Swagger to earn a title shot on Sunday. Christian gave Khali the frog splash and they all covered Khali for the first elimination. Swagger put the ankle lock on Christian but Christian escaped and posted Swagger. Christian gave Swagger the kill switch but Ziggler covered Swagger for the second elimination. Ziggler went after Christian’s bad ankle. Christian hit a spear but Ziggler kicked out. Christian went for the kill switch but Ziggler avoided it and hit a famouser for two. Christian used an inverted DDT for pin. Christian went to the top but he was distracted by Vickie and came off the top onto his injured ankle. Ziggler hit the zig zag for the win. Sheamus came out and held up his title in Ziggler’s face.
522
523This match and particularly the ending were very good. The crowd even got behind Ziggler some. This sequence of events with Ziggler is WWE in 2012 in a nutshell. They know this guy’s the most talented guy they have not at the top of the card, yet they job him out week after week because they don’t have the patience to build guys for bigger things. Then they lose a few of the handful of guys they actually protect and they have to throw Ziggler into a title match because there’s nobody on the card who’s actually good and protected. This guy was 2-12 in his last 14 Raw matches headed into this week and he’s a PPV title challenger. If you know this guy’s the best talent you have not in a current top angle, why on Earth do you job him out week after week?
524
525A kind of crazed Natalya backstage talked about how special it was to have the whole Hart family together at WrestleMania when Vince wrestled Bret Hart. She wanted Vince to bring them back. He basically blew her off. This seemed booked just to indulge Vince’s belief that the Harts are crazy. Brodus Clay’s dancers wanted Clay back on Raw. Vince said no and they were disappointed. Vince then said somebody call my mama, the lights miraculously came on backstage and he danced with them. Zack Ryder was shocked and Vince said woo woo woo you know it. More WWE comedy.
526
527Ryback beat Willard Fillmore and Rutherford P.S. Hayes. Even more WWE comedy. The Goldberg chants were louder than usual. Ryback won with the double Samoan drop.
528
529Vince and Hornswoggle backstage laughed at the stupid segment from Friday mocking Jim Ross. Vince then contorted his face to mock Ross’ Bell’s palsy and did an Oklahoma impression. Remember when WWE would talk about how utterly classless WCW was for doing that? It’s just great for babyfaces to do comedy mocking people for crippling disabilities in general.
530
531John Cena came in. Vince brought up Rock beating Cena at Mania. Cena sarcastically said, “Oh, now we’re using WrestleMania wins and losses to measure success,” as if he wasn’t talking a few months ago about how he couldn’t go on if he didn’t beat Rock because it was so important. Cena brought up Vince losing to Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Shane McMahon and others at Mania. Cena said Vince needs to handle his business with Laurinaitis. Otunga came in and Vince said nobody likes a sycophant who would kiss another man’s ass. He then turned around to William Regal sitting on the couch and said no offense.
532
533Big Show beat Kofi Kingston in a cage match. Show destroyed him for a while. Kingston hit trouble in paradise but Show kicked out with ease. Kingston tried to run out through the door but Show caught him and gave him the KO punch. Show then very slowly walked out of the cage. This was effective in making Show look like a monster.
534
535Sin Cara beat Curt Hawkins with a corkscrew plancha, handspring elbow and la mistica for the pin.
536
537Backstage, Vince wished Daniel Bryan luck. Bryan said he thought Vince wouldn’t like someone like him. Vince said you can’t judge a book by its cover as nobody would see Bryan as a WWE superstar walking down the street. Bryan said he has proven Vince wrong. He then claimed that he’s like Vince in that they’re both self-made success stories. That’s a funny way of describing a wrestling promoter who was the son of one of the most successful wrestling promoters of all time. But whatever. WWE TV is mostly about the writing team indulging Vince these days anyway. Vince responded that he never finished anything in 18 seconds.
538
539Vader beat Heath Slater. They announced Laurinaitis brought back a former Raw main eventer in honor of Raw’s 1,000th episode. This was fun and the crowd was really enjoying seeing Vader. We got “let’s go Vader and “you still got it” chants. Vader was more over than most of the current roster. Vader hit clotheslines and punches. Slater went for a body slam but Vader landed on him for two. Vader then hit the Vader bomb for the pin.
540
541Backstage, CM Punk told A.J. not to worry because they would just have a handicap match. He said that unlike Kane and Bryan, they can trust each other. That was quite the line for a top face to deliver towards a completely untrustworthy crazy person. A.J. kissed Punk on the cheek.
542
543CM Punk and A.J. beat Kane and Daniel Bryan. The heels worked over Punk. Punk at one point went for the tag but realized it was just A.J. there. Punk was knocked back and collided with A.J., so A.J. had to come in. A.J. smiled at Kane, skipped around him, then leaped into his arms and made out with him. Kane tagged Bryan back in and left. A.J. tagged back in Punk and Punk pretty much immediately hit a top rope elbow on Bryan for the pin.
544
545Vince McMahon came out for the final segment with a lot of security. Vince said he has a soft spot for Connecticut as it is where he lived and where Stephanie was born. He said it was poetic that with a birth there would be a professional death and brought out Laurinaitis. Laurinaitis said he didn’t appreciate what Vince did to his scooter, but that Vince didn’t need security because Laurinaitis wouldn’t think of attacking Vince. Vince said the security wasn’t for Vince but to escort Laurinaitis away.
546
547Laurinaitis pleaded with Vince, saying Raw and Smackdown have become destination TV. Destination for what? Laurinaitis said he is needed for three hour Raws. Vince teased he was going to fire Laurinaitis when Big Show came out. Show said Laurinaitis isn’t at fault for Show’s contract. Show said he did everything Vince asked over the years and couldn’t be a giant because giants are scary. That would make sense if he weren’t a giant monster for half of that time period. Show said now he is just going to be that giant. Thus, Vince needs to not worry about Laurinaitis but about the well-being of his golden goose Cena.
548
549John Cena came out smirking. It’s a PPV Sunday, which means it’s time for Cena to tell some jokes. He joked about chicken nuggets. He said Show blames everyone for his problems except the guy who is responsible, Laurinaitis. Cena said Show has his contract, management behind him and the match he wants. Thus, if Show doesn’t win he will be a disappointment and sell out. Vince said that he will be at ringside Sunday and if Show loses, Vince will fire Laurinaitis.
550
551Show grabbed Cena by the throat. Security tried to break them up but was thrown off and a brawl broke out. In the midst of this, Show accidentally knocked out Vince with a punch that looked to have missed by a wide margin. Everyone in the ring acted shocked and they gave the dreaded X signal for Vince. They’ve done one of these angles with Vince every time he has come back over the last five years and then he comes back in six months as if nothing happened. Why do they expect people to care?
552
553Final Thoughts:
554
555This was a thoroughly grating show, filled with incessant dumb comedy and goofiness segment after segment. Vader was probably the highlight. No Way Out looks unappealing.
556POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:44 PM 5 COMMENTS
557MONDAY, JUNE 04, 2012
558WWE Raw Report
559
560Date: 06/04/12 from Greenville, SC.
561
562The Big News: John Cena hasn’t been listening very carefully to WWE’s PSAs.
563
564Show Analysis:
565
566The show started with Michael Cole in the ring introducing John Cena. Cole blamed the injuries caused by Big Show on Cena. Cena was incredulous about this. Cole said Cena being a comedian was more important than supporting his friend Big Show. Cena told a My Little Pony joke in response. Cena said maybe he didn’t defend Show on Raw but he was going to get rid of John Laurinaitis on the PPV and then Show would be re-hired. Cole noted that Cena didn’t know he would beat Laurinaitis for sure and labeled Cena arrogant. He added that Show did what he needed to feed his family and took the sure thing signing with Laurinaitis.
567
568Cena responded by making fun of Show’s weight. Cena then said Show took the easy way out. Cole suggested Cena is jealous of Show for being tougher than Cena. Cole labeled Cena overrated and said he hopes Show will put all the viewers out of their misery having to watch Cena every week. John Laurinaitis then came out and said Cena would get to pick his opponent for the show, other than Laurinaitis or Show. Cena, having been thoroughly tooled by Cole verbally, decided he’d beat up the announcer. What a bully.
569
570Michael Cole pleaded with John Laurinaitis backstage not to wrestle John Cena. Laurinaitis said everyone’s job is being evaluated and he has to give people what they want. Cole said people don’t want to see Cena beat him up. Laurinaitis said they do and left.
571
572Sheamus beat Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler worked over Sheamus for most of the match. Sheamus came back with white noise and the Brogue kick for the pin. This was a good match but it’s so frustrating that after jobbing Ziggler out for months in a tag team, they finally did the breakup and had a natural point to try to give Ziggler a fresh start. Instead, he just lost again to emphasize fans shouldn’t expect anything out of him. Alberto Del Rio attacked Sheamus after the match.
573
574David Otunga told John Laurinaitis backstage that Vince McMahon is coming to Raw next week to give Laurinaitis a job performance evaluation. Didn’t McMahon have those powers stripped by HHH last year?
575
576Sin Cara beat Hunico with a kick to the face, springboard huracanrana, handspring elbow and La Mistica into the pin. This was very crisp and well worked. Cole claimed Cara is the most popular star in the history of Mexico twice, which is quite the fib.
577
578Ryback beat Stan Stansy and Arthur Rosenberg. Those have to be the most ridiculous names ever. The jobbers told a poem together before the match. Ryback won with a double Samoan drop.
579
580Kane beat CM Punk. Punk hit a tope, a double ax handle off the top rope to the floor and a top rope crossbody. Kane took over by throwing Punk over the top rope and hitting a side slam. Kane went to the top but Punk knocked him off. Punk hit a running knee, bulldog and springboard clothesline. Punk went for GTS but Kane escaped and hit a kick to the head for two. Kane went for the choke slam but Punk countered with a neck breaker for two. Punk hit an elbow off the top for two.
581
582At this point, Kane and Punk got into a brawl on the floor. As Punk was getting back into the ring, Bryan kicked him twice. Kane brought Punk into the ring and went for a choke slam. Punk countered with a kick to the head. A.J. then ran out to argue with the referee about Bryan’s interference. Bryan came over to argue with A.J. Punk hit a tope and attacked Bryan but as he went back into the ring he was caught with a choke slam for the pin. This was a good match with a shitty, overbooked finish.
583
584After the match, Kane knocked down Bryan. He approached A.J. and A.J. smiled at him seductively. Kane backed off and left. A.J. acted confused. Backstage, A.J. said she likes when men look at her while playing with Josh Mathews’ tie. She asked if he likes aggressive women.
585
586Kofi Kingston and R. Truth beat Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks. The heels worked over Truth. Truth got the tag to Kingston. Kingston hit clotheslines, the boom drop, a springboard crossbody and trouble in paradise for the pin on Hawkins. This was another good match and I’d love to see a lot more matches like this where one midcard wrestler or team proves to be better than a lower card wrestler or team. It makes the winners feel more important and you’re not sacrificing anything important.
587
588John Cena beat Tensai. Laurinaitis announced that Cole vs. Cena would be no DQ if Cena beat Tensai. Cole was in his very worst over-the-top obnoxious mode in this match. It was just unbearable. Tensai dominated the match until missing a senton. Cena then hit shoulderblocks, the Cena slam, the five knuckle and the FU for the pin.
589
590John Cena then beat Michael Cole. Cole ran away but Cena caught him and brought him back. Cole pleaded with Cena but then started threatening and poking Cena. Cena slapped Cole and took off Cole’s pants. He slapped Cole hard and had Cole apologize to Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross. He had Cole put over Ross’ BBQ sauce and then poured BBQ sauce all over Cole in his underwear. He then sprayed Cole with a fire extinguisher. He set up for the FU but Tensai ran out and hit the choke slam. Cole covered but Cena kicked out and luckily for Cena Tensai decided to simply leave. Cole went after Cena with the fire extinguisher but was caught in the FU for the pin.
591
592Final Thoughts:
593
594By 2012 WWE standards, this show was pretty good.
595POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 8:22 PM 4 COMMENTS
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732~~~
733
734
735SMASHMOUTH DRIVING
736MONDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2011
737WWE Raw Report
738Date: 10/24/11 from Atlanta, GA.
739
740The Big News: Pay-per-view is dead. For WWE, anyway.
741
742Show Analysis:
743
744Rock was on the screen to start the show. He had a graying beard. He said that he and John Cena represent different eras. He acknowledged Cena’s offer to team up but then rejected it with a hell no. He said that he doesn’t want to slap hands with Cena and would rather slap Cena’s face. Rock then said he thought about it more and that the world hates R. Truth and Miz and wants to see them get their asses kicked. So Rock agreed to take the match and said he would show Cena what Cena will be receiving at WrestleMania.
745
746This segment didn’t work very well. The gray hair is a negative for a kick ass figure. The constant cuts to the audience watching Rock on the screen again accentuated the fact he wasn’t there and the crowd didn’t react that well. It’s a well-established angle that usually works where two faces who don’t like each other put aside their differences to team up against menacing heels, but the problem is they haven’t done enough to put real heat on Miz and Truth. The crowd would much rather see Rock kick Cena’s ass than those of Miz and Truth, which makes Rock less likeable to those who support him for agreeing to the match.
747
748Mark Henry beat CM Punk via DQ. The stipulation was that if Punk won he would get a title match, so Alberto Del Rio ordered Ricardo Rodriguez to attack Henry for the DQ. He hit Henry with his shoe until the ref called for the DQ. Punk went after Del Rio and Rodriguez. Del Rio ran away so Punk grabbed Rodriguez and threw him to Henry for the world’s strongest slam.
749
750Kermit and Miss Piggy appeared on the stage for the first of a great many Muppets segments. They were interrupted by Vickie Guerrero and Jack Swagger. Swagger threatened to make frog legs and a ham sandwich out of them. Kermit said he didn’t want trouble with Swagger or his mother. Vickie got mad and this led to an argument with Miss Piggy. Santino came out and said they couldn’t be picking on the Muppets because Swagger would be wrestling Santino and Dolph Ziggler would be wrestling Zack Ryder. Kermit and Piggy said “Woo Woo Woo, You Know It.” Kelly Kelly then kissed Kermit on her way to the ring and Miss Piggy freaked out.
751
752Eve Torres won a costume battle royal. Costumes used to be an excuse to get the women in risqué costumes but now they wear more clothes than usual. Rosa Mendes, Aksana, AJ, Tamina and Kaitlyn went out quickly. Kelly Kelly and Eve eliminated the Bella twins.
753
754That left the heel Natalya against the three faces Alicia Fox, Kelly and Eve. The faces of course triple teamed Natalya. Natalya fought them off one on three and eliminated Kelly and then Alicia on her own. That gave Eve the opportunity to throw Natalya out from behind to win. Hey, I’m just relaying what they did. Afterwards, Beth and Natalya were going to attack Eve but Kelly and Alicia made the save.
755
756Backstage, Bunsen prepared a potion for Beaker to give to Santino. Beaker ran off with the potion but ran into Christian. Christian poured the potion onto the ground. Sheamus stuck up for Beaker and they acted like they were family members because they have similar hair.
757
758Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett beat Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston. The heels worked over Kingston, who tagged Bourne. Barrett went for wasteland but Bourne countered with a DDT. Bourne went to the top but Rhodes distracted him and Barrett gave him wasteland for the pin. After the match, Christian came out to help the heels attack the tag champs but Sheamus made the save. They showed Statler and Waldorf watching and bantering in a luxury box.
759
760John Laurinaitis was texting backstage when CM Punk came in. Punk complained about Ricardo Rodriguez. Punk wanted to know what he had to do to get a title match. How about you win a match, buddy? Punk went on and on like he has to jump through hoops to get a title shot. Laurinaitis said Punk could get a title match if Del Rio agreed. They announced Brodus Clay for next week.
761
762Big Show beat Alberto Del Rio in a slow and boring match. Del Rio beat on Show forever. Finally Del Rio went for an enzuigiri and Show just caught him with a punch for the clean win. After the match, CM Punk came out and put Alberto Del Rio in the anaconda vise until Del Rio agreed to the title match. Somebody introduce these guys to the concept of duress.
763
764This was a novel build for a pay-per-view title match. I’m used to the antiquated, tired formula where a challenger wins a bunch of matches to earn a title match. But WWE is true avant-garde sports entertainment, where the challenger loses a bunch of matches and then gets a title shot because he attacks the champion after the champion loses cleanly to someone else.
765
766Gonzo and Fozzie were chatting backstage. Gonzo said it would be easy to become WWE champion. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger showed up, with Swagger pulling out Gonzo’s arms and wrapping them around while wacky music played in the background.
767
768Santino beat Jack Swagger. Animal (non-Road Warrior version) rang the bell. Swagger worked over Santino and did pushups on him. Santino made his comeback with a head butt but was caught in the ankle lock. Santino escaped. Beaker gave Santino the potion from earlier. Santino spit it in Swagger’s face and rolled Swagger up for the win.
769
770Zack Ryder beat Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler worked over Ryder. Ryder hit his running kick but Ziggler kicked out. Ziggler used a jaw breaker but was caught with a knee charging Ryder. The referee seemed to count three but then realized Ziggler’s foot was on the bottom rope and called for the match to continue. Vickie tripped Ryder and Ziggler went for the zig zag but Ryder shrugged him off and hit the rough rider for the win. This was a nice finishing sequence.
771
772They announced HHH would be out due to injury for at least five weeks. They also announced Kevin Nash re-signed and will be on Raw next week. Why he needed to be re-signed when he had a no-cut contract to begin with remains a mystery to me. Michael Cole then announced Jim Ross wouldn’t be there. Good thing they advertised that and Cole spent much of this show running down Ross. Cole made fun of Ross and just generally acted like a complete jackass. He teased Ross might show up next week.
773
774Statler and Waldorf were turned off by this nonsense. Elsewhere, Miss Piggy came on to John Morrison. He tried to set up Piggy with Hornswoggle. He kissed her so she hit him. He was excited. Kermit came in and got bagged by Cody Rhodes.
775
776John Cena beat Miz. Miz beat up Cena a bit. Cena hit a big clothesline and top rope rocker dropper for near falls. Miz and Cena were brawling on the outside when R. Truth attacked Cena in a Scream mask. The announcers acted like it was a fan, as if anyone on Earth watching thought it was anybody but Truth. They went back in the ring and Cena just immediately put Miz in the STF anyway for the submission. Truth attacked in the mask afterwards but Cena laid him out too. Good thing Cena has Rock coming back to help him against these treacherous heels.
777
778Final Thoughts:
779
780What do you even say at this point?
781POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:07 PM 3 COMMENTS
782MONDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2011
783WWE Raw Report
784Date: 10/24/11 from Austin, TX.
785
786The Big News: John Cena wanted to wrestle Miz and Truth. John Laurinaitis made Cena and Zack Ryder versus Miz and Truth. But Miz and Truth beat up Ryder and then beat up Cena two on one. So Laurinaitis announced that because of that, Cena would get to choose his partner against Miz and Truth for Survivor Series. And you’ll never guess who Cena chose after all those developments.
787
788Show Analysis:
789
790HHH came out to start the show. He said he was always taught that in the wrestling business you can either make friends or make money, but he has been lucky to make money and still have his share of friends. He cited Shawn Michaels, Sean Waltman and Kevin Nash. However, when HHH reached a position of power he realized some people were just there because of that power. HHH said he thought Nash would be there for life but Nash changed. Nash tried to break his neck, but instead he broke his heart. Some of the crowd mocked the cheesiness of that line.
791
792HHH called Nash out to the ring for an ass whipping. John Laurinaitis showed up instead and said that to his knowledge, Nash wasn’t there. HHH told Laurinaitis to shut up and not enter the ring. HHH said Laurinaitis reports to him and told Laurinaitis to go find Nash. So what exactly does Laurinaitis have power over? HHH said that if Laurinaitis couldn’t find Nash, HHH would embarrass the company by finding Nash on his own and ending up in jail. He told Laurinaitis to sign Nash to a big contract to come back. Wasn’t the story that Nash had a no cut contract so that he would be paid and under contract whether he worked or not?
793
794As HHH was leaving, Kevin Nash attacked him from behind with a sledgehammer. HHH sold it huge and collapsed backstage. He was being carried into an ambulance on a stretcher when Nash pulled him off the stretcher and hit him with the sledgehammer again in the head.
795
796Randy Orton and Sheamus beat Cody Rhodes and Christian. He heels worked over Sheamus, who got the tag to Orton. Orton hit a powerslam, neck breaker and draping DDT on Christian. Orton went for the RKO on Christian but Rhodes attacked him from behind. Orton went for the RKO on Rhodes but Rhodes escaped. Christian hit an elbow off the second rope and the heels took back over for a brief period.
797
798Orton got the tag back to Sheamus, who hit a knee lift and back breaker on Rhodes. Christian hit a spear behind the referee’s back on Sheamus and Rhodes covered, but Orton broke up the pin. Orton gave Christian the RKO. Rhodes went for a springboard kick and Sheamus attempted to counter with a botched Brogue kick. Sheamus then hit the razor’s edge for the win. This was a fun match.
799
800John Laurinaitis was on the phone backstage with Stephanie McMahon. He said that HHH was fine and that he wasn’t responsible for what happened. He spoke with David Otunga briefly about how he didn’t want there to be a perception of unsafe working conditions. John Cena then came in and told some jokes after losing the title match last night via interference. But he told them with an angry tone, and that’s the important thing. Cena wanted R. Truth and Miz. Laurinaitis offered Miz and Truth vs. Cena and a partner of Laurinaitis’ choice. Cena responded with a Dynamic Dudes joke.
801
802Dolph Ziggler beat Santino Marella. Jack Swagger distracted Santino and Ziggler hit the zig zag for the win. Swagger put Santino in the ankle lock after the match but Mason Ryan ran in for the save. That’s easiest spot to get a big reaction but the crowd didn’t care at all. Backstage, Zack Ryder celebrated upon learning he would be Cena’s partner in the main event.
803
804Alberto Del Rio came out and said that he proved once and for all that he is better than John Cena. Del Rio said he would be moving on to new challengers but that nobody is better than him so he will be champion for a long time. CM Punk came out and said he has beaten Del Rio multiple times and didn’t get a one-on-one rematch with Del Rio after losing the title.
805
806Del Rio responded by correctly pointing out Punk didn’t even win the night before, when he was pinned at Vengeance. Del Rio said losers don’t deserve title shots and Punk should go win a match. Punk responded by threatening to put Del Rio to sleep. John Laurinaitis came out and said he was in charge this segment. Punk suggested Punk vs. Del Rio for the title at Survivor Series. See, I would have thought the whole “pinned in your last match” would be a pretty good counterpoint.
807
808Punk wanted to know the catch. Laurinaitis bumbled over his words and wanted Punk to tell him that he respects Laurinaitis. Punk said things aren’t better with Laurinaitis in charge and told another Dynamic Dudes joke. Punk said “I respect you funk man” as a combination Brian Pillman/Curb Your Enthusiasm reference. Laurinaitis gave Punk another chance.
809
810Punk said he respects Laurinaitis’ deer in headlights look, how he doesn’t know how to hold a microphone, how he used to wrestle with a mullet, how he got to the top of the WWE structure with brownnosing and not talent, and now no one in the business has done so much with so little. Laurinaitis responded that Punk isn’t suitable for a title shot and that he would take another week to think it over. Punk then attacked Del Rio. He went for the GTS but Ricardo Rodriguez made the save and got the GTS himself. Laurinaitis was just terrible in this segment.
811
812Alicia Fox beat Natalya. They did some mat wrestling early, which was actually pretty good. Alicia then used a kind of sloppy rollup for the win, which still looked much better than most of the finishes on this show. Beth and Natalya jumped Alicia after the match but Alicia escaped.
813
814Wade Barrett beat John Morrison. Barrett worked over Morrison. He went for wasteland but Morrison escaped. Morrison went for starship pain but Barrett rolled out and Morrison landed on his feet. Morrison went for a springboard kick that was supposed to be caught into wasteland but that was botched so Barrett picked him up and gave him another wasteland for the win.
815
816Michael Cole stood on the announce table to complain about what Jim Ross had supposedly been saying on Twitter. It’s worth pointing out at this point that the entire theme of this show was Twitter. They talked about it over and over again during every match like some sort of bizarre obsession. It was so irritating.
817
818Anyway, Cole had some photoshopped pictures supposedly sent out by Ross on Twitter. It was basically just a chance to make fun of Ross’ weight. Cole challenged Ross to a Michael Cole Challenge next week. Cole said that if Ross wins, Cole will quit and Ross can have his seat back. The Michael Cole victory celebration is going to be unbearable. 
819
820John Cena beat Miz and R. Truth via disqualification. Miz and Truth attacked Zack Ryder backstage before the match and took him out. They worked over Cena for a while. Cena made his own comeback but when he went for the FU on Miz, Truth almost hit him with a water bottle for a DQ. That was a great finish. They beat up Cena some more after the match and brought chairs into the ring.
821
822Laurinaitis interrupted, telling Miz and Truth to stop. He told them to leave and announced Miz and Truth vs. Cena and a partner of Cena’s choice at Survivor Series. Cena thought it over and then decided on the Rock. You know, this entire show wouldn’t have felt quite so completely fake if they hadn’t publicly announced that themselves over a month ago.
823
824Final Thoughts:
825
826#Rawstillsucks
827POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 8:49 PM 4 COMMENTS
828MONDAY, OCTOBER 17, 2011
829WWE Raw Report
830Date: 10/17/11 from Mexico City, Mexico.
831
832The Big News: Jim Ross returned to Raw, albeit in a non-commentating capacity.
833
834Show Analysis:
835
836The show started with John Laurinaitis. Laurinaitis is a bad speaker and many in the audience not understanding what he said didn’t help matters. He said that the show would mark the return of Rey Mysterio, and then paused and said he meant to San Diego to see his doctor. That didn’t get much heat because of the language issue and the crowd just started loudly chanting rather than listening to Laurinaitis.
837
838Laurinaitis said it was a mistake to let go of Jim Ross and brought Ross out. Ross returned to the announce table but Laurinaitis instead directed him into the ring. Laurinaitis hugged Ross and said he owed Ross an apology. He then said Ross wasn’t back to commentate but rather to team with John Cena in a tag team match against Alberto Del Rio and Michael Cole. Cole returned to super obnoxious mode frequently throughout the show. I just don’t get how anyone couldn’t have figured out how counterproductive that is by now.
839
840Mark Henry, Christian and Cody Rhodes defeated Randy Orton, Sheamus and John Morrison. Orton went after Rhodes a lot early and ended up chasing him to the back. That left just a tag match. The two remaining heels worked over Morrison. Morrison finally was about to get the tag when Christian pulled Sheamus off the apron. Sheamus and Christian brawled into the crowd, leaving only Henry and Morrison. Of course, Henry gave Morrison the world’s strongest slam moments later for the pin. Hopefully they keep pushing Henry strong. It helps make the title feel more important.
841
842John Laurinaitis was on the phone backstage when the Bellas came in to remind Laurinaitis that they exist. They kissed him and left. Then Alberto Del Rio came in and was annoyed with the main event tag match. Laurinaitis said the winner of the match would get to pick the stipulation for the Del Rio-Cena match Sunday. I totally didn’t realize Vengeance was Sunday. I don’t foresee monster business.
843
844Eve Torres beat Natalya with a moonsault. Kelly Kelly and Beth Phoenix were in the corners.
845
846CM Punk beat Miz. Miz before the match said he and Truth did what Punk couldn’t, removing HHH from Raw. Truth and HHH were in the corners initially. Miz worked over Punk. Jerry Lawler quoted a Taylor Swift song and Michael Cole responded that she is in Lawler’s age bracket. Well, her fans, anyway. Truth hit Punk with a bottle of water on the outside and HHH went after Truth. At that point Laurinaitis came out and said there was an immigration problem with HHH. HHH was escorted from ringside.
847
848Punk made his comeback with a neck breaker, high knee and top rope elbow. Punk went for the GTS but Miz got out. Truth was up on the apron so Punk threw Miz into Truth and rolled up Miz for the pin. Miz and Truth jumped Punk after the match. They teased leaving but then came back and beat him up some more.
849
850Zack Ryder beat Jack Swagger. Swagger, Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler all cut promos in the ring prior to the match. They basically just ran down Mexico. Ziggler told a joke about how Affliction shirts will never go back in style and Titus O’Neill will never get over. Swagger started to sing the Star Spangled Banner when Ryder interrupted. Ryder was not over at all, unfortunately. He won quickly with double knees and the Rough Rider. Afterwards, Swagger and Ziggler looked for the double team but Mason Ryan made the save.
851
852Dolph Ziggler beat Mason Ryan via DQ. Vickie slapped Ryan and Ryan proceeded to go crazy on Ziggler. He was disqualified for beating up Ziggler too much in the corner.
853
854Backstage, Jim Ross told John Cena he doesn’t need to be wrestling and didn’t want to screw things up for Cena. Cena said Ross is a Hall of Famer and the greatest voice WWE ever had, and that he has the right partner. Cena told Ross to stand in the corner and let Cena do his thing. Ross said he would like to get his hands on Cole and Cena said he’d do him that favor. Cena felt much more genuine and likeable in this segment without a bunch of added showmanship.
855
856John Cena and Jim Ross beat Alberto Del Rio and Michael Cole. John Cena interestingly got what seemed to be a really positive reaction coming out, much more so than in the US of late. However, the crowd over time turned on him, chanted Mexico and by the end he was heavily booed. I almost wonder if this whole scenario was booked to try to get Jim Ross booed.
857
858Cole wanted Ross at the start. Ross slapped hard so Cole tagged Del Rio. Ross tagged in Cena. Del Rio worked over Cena for a while and then missed a senton off the ropes. Cena made his comebacks with shoulderblocks, the Cena slam and the five knuckle. Del Rio in desperation tagged Cole. Cena gave him the FU and was thinking STF but instead he tagged Ross back in. Ross applied the ankle lock and Cole tapped. Cena gave Del Rio the FU on the floor. He counted Del Rio out for a count of 10 and announced they would have a last man standing match.
859
860Final Thoughts:
861
862This Raw was much better than last week’s show. I know, some standard. It’s hard to even judge if this was good or bad in general terms because last week lowered the bar so low. I will say it was weird to build a show in Mexico so heavily around promos in English and the English broadcast team.
863POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 8:27 PM 4 COMMENTS
864MONDAY, OCTOBER 10, 2011
865WWE Raw Report
866Date: 10/10/11 from Oklahoma City, OK.
867
868The Big News: The John Laurinaitis Era has begun.
869
870Show Analysis:
871
872They cut backstage to start the show and nobody was around. HHH walked out of his office and came to the ring. He said he was bewildered to see everyone walk out. He added that the people who walked out walked out not only on HHH but on the people. HHH made fun of the boycotters who wouldn’t perform unless HHH stepped down. HHH asked the fans whether he should give in, and everyone said no. HHH said he won’t be blackmailed or coerced to quit. He said that he would wrestle a broomstick for the next two hours and it would probably give him a better match than most of the guys in the parking lot. Ha! Get it? Because everybody on the roster sucks!
873
874John Cena showed up and said that everyone wanted to know where he stood. Cena noted that the people in the parking lot were all lobbying him while HHH hadn’t been in touch. Cena said HHH is his boss and that he would stay. Cena said his loyalty lies with the people and shook hands with HHH.
875
876Sheamus was next out. He said that he once tried to take out HHH to make a name for himself. HHH could have filed a lawsuit but instead he came back and gave Sheamus the biggest ass whipping of his life. I like how everyone is scripted to put over how badly HHH kicks their asses. Sheamus said he wouldn’t join those losers sitting out there in the parking lot.
877
878CM Punk then came out. He said that he started the whole thing, but that he never broke his word because his contract was expiring. Punk added that he was making a point to the whole company and not one man. He said that WWE is about settling conflict in the ring, and that he dealt with HHH and Cena personally. Punk concluded that he was the last guy they would expect to have in the foxhole with them, but there he was. He asked what they would do now.
879
880HHH made Sheamus vs. Cena with HHH as referee and Punk doing commentary and ringing the bell. HHH and Punk bantered comically and HHH gave him his jacket to wear. Cena, Sheamus and Punk came off as such pandering, corporate suck-ups here. Not that I’m saying that’s a bad thing. I’ve always had affection for pandering, corporate babyfaces.
881
882Sheamus and John Cena fought to a no contest. CM Punk did drop in an amusing Rob Naylor reference before Vince McMahon came out to interrupt the match with a video labeling him WWE chairman. Vince said he wanted to have a word with HHH, and so Sheamus and Cena just walked off and left. Vince said he likes what HHH is doing but the board of directors is concerned things will get out of control and shows will have to be cancelled. Thus, the board of directors told HHH that his services are no longer needed. They are looking for a new full time GM but for now John Laurinaitis is interim GM.
883
884After the break, the roster was shown coming back into the building, shaking hands with Laurinaitis. So, all the faces walked out on the show and the fans in order to install John Laurinaitis as general manager. Good for them. They probably got a better deal than what the NBPA will end up with, and are only slightly less sympathetic than Latrell Sprewell in his final negotiations with the Wolves back in ‘04. John Morrison told Laurinaitis he sucks so Laurinaitis ordered him to the ring for a match. Christian suggested Laurinaitis should be permanent GM and Laurinaitis told him he would be wrestling Morrison. Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole returned.
885
886Christian beat John Morrison. Both wrestled in their street clothes. Morrison was quickly distracted by Swagger and Ziggler and Christian hit a spear for the win. After the match, those three and Cody Rhodes attacked and beat up Morrison some more.
887
888Backstage, John Laurinaitis told HHH that he didn’t want the job, but that he was appointed. Laurinaitis said he is willing to make sacrifices for the company because he loves WWE. HHH asked him if he ever tried to pick up his teeth with a bunch of broken fingers.
889
890Randy Orton beat Mark Henry via DQ. Henry before the match said it took him 15 years to win the title and he’s the most dominant champion of all time. Henry said he will take on anybody provided they are the number one contender and Big Show wasn’t. Henry said that at Vengeance, vengeance will be his. Orton then interrupted and said that vengeance would be Orton’s.
891
892Henry was in control early. Orton came back with a draping DDT and was setting up for the RKO when Rhodes came out. Orton knocked him out of the ring. Henry tried to use the distraction to hit the world’s strongest slam but Orton escaped and hit the RKO. Orton had Henry pinned but Rhodes then interfered for the DQ. This was a great way of setting up Henry vs. Orton for the title at Vengeance. Wait, what? Henry’s wrestling Big Show for the title at Vengeance? Oh.
893
894After the match, Henry gave Orton two world’s strongest slams. Rhodes then gave Orton a roll of the dice and put a bag over Orton’s head. You know, I wasn’t sold on the idea of putting a bag over someone’s head as a main event angle, but after seeing it in practice, I think it’s got real money drawing potential. Rhodes then asked Orton if he would like a receipt with his paper bag and laughed maniacally. Money.
895
896Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres beat Rosa Mendes and Tamina. Kelly did some spots with Rosa and Tamina. Then Eve came in and pinned Tamina with a kick to the face and a moonsault. This would have been a great match if only every spot didn’t look terrible.
897
898John Laurinaitis came to the ring and announced John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio for the title at Vengeance. I think the crowd microphones weren’t working, because the crowd didn’t seem to react at all for that one. They probably broke down some time around halfway through the show, because it was almost like they were dead for absolutely everything in the second hour. 
899
900Laurinaitis then brought Jim Ross into the ring. He pointed out that Ross walked out on HHH after HHH gave him his job, not to mention walked out on the fans and walked out on his hometown crowd in Oklahoma. Geez, Ross really is a jerk and a fool. Laurinaitis concluded that makes Ross an ingrate and fired Ross. Serves him right. Ross just no sold this completely and walked to the back as if the show were over and nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Michael Cole celebrated by going crazy. The good times are back again on commentary.
901
902Mason Ryan, Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne beat Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger and David Otunga. The heels worked over Kingston. Ryan tagged in and hit clotheslines and a big boot on Ziggler. Otunga broke up the pin. A brawl broke out and Ryan hit the twisting uranage for the pin. So Ryan is apparently the new contender for Ziggler’s title. That sounds like a good idea.
903
904Alberto Del Rio and CM Punk fought to a no contest. In the middle of their match, Laurinaitis came out and announced Punk and Del Rio would be wrestling in a tag match against the reinstated Miz and R. Truth.
905
906CM Punk and Alberto Del Rio beat Miz and R. Truth via DQ. Punk and Del Rio worked as a team for a bit until Del Rio sold his leg and walked off. The heels double teamed Punk. Punk hit a high knee, bulldog and top rope elbow on Miz. He went for the GTS but Truth broke it up and then Truth and Miz just attacked Punk for a big until they were disqualified. They sure fooled me. I figured after all that they’d just have someone win. It was a fitting end to a night of great finishes.
907
908HHH hit the ring after the match and beat up Truth and Miz. HHH and Punk cleared the ring together. Backstage, Laurinaitis told David Otunga that he would have the board make Miz and Truth vs. HHH and Punk at Vengeance. About time HHH and Punk became buddies. It was such a natural partnership.
909
910Final Thoughts:
911
912What a great show. I may have more faith in Vince Russo right now than the WWE writing team, but it’s close, so good for them.
913POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:01 PM 6 COMMENTS
914MONDAY, OCTOBER 03, 2011
915WWE Raw Report
916Date: 10/03/11 from Lafayette, LA.
917
918The Big News: Nobody has any confidence in HHH.
919
920Show Analysis:
921
922Randy Orton beat Drew McIntyre. McIntyre hit a kick to the face, snap suplex, choke and neck breaker. Orton then made a quick comeback with the draping DDT and RKO for the pin. Orton gave McIntyre an additional RKO after the match. Mark Henry then came out and held up his title. Orton attacked Henry and they had a pull apart brawl. Orton threw Henry over the barricade. That feud apparently will continue.
923
924Mark Henry beat John Morrison. Henry hit a clothesline and went for the world’s strongest slam but Morrison escaped and hit a series of kicks. Morrison successfully landed starship pain but Henry kicked out. Henry caught Morrison with a kick to the head and the world’s strongest slam for the pin. Henry then gave Morrison an additional world’s strongest slam after the match.
925
926Henry took the microphone after the match and said that he heard Big Show is looking for him but he isn’t hard to find. Henry vowed that Show’s return to WWE will be the shortest in WWE history. Henry was just great screaming with fury. Unfortunately, the crowd was chanting “what” at him, not a good sign for a serious heel booked like such a monster.
927
928Backstage, John Laurinaitis met with David Otunga and some other heels. Laurinaitis wanted to know if Otunga had anything to do with Miz and R. Truth filing a lawsuit. Otunga was evasive.
929
930Christian, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, Cody Rhodes, David Otunga, Vickie Guerrero and Alberto Del Rio came to the ring. Del Rio said he got rid of John Cena and CM Punk but couldn’t celebrate because two guys who were supposed to be fired attacked him. He blamed HHH and said only HHH had the power to raise and lower the cell. Christian said that since HHH took over, Raw has been an unsafe place to work. Rhodes said they are all victims of HHH’s ego. Ziggler said HHH needs to be supervised. Swagger said his friends and family are concerned for him whenever he wrestles.
931
932Vickie Guerrero took the microphone and got nuclear heat. It really was striking given she hasn’t been involved in a big heat angle in quite a while. She said as a woman she feels especially vulnerable. Otunga then said they can keep working and risk their livelihood or band together to take legal action. That brought out HHH, who said men used to fight, not whine and cry and file lawsuits. HHH told them to shut up and fight later in the show.
933
934Beth Phoenix and Natalya beat Eve Torres and Kelly Kelly. Kelly just freaked out from the beginning, screeching and attacking Beth. She rammed Beth repeatedly into the announce table until she was disqualified and then just kept attacking Beth. Kelly was annoying and unlikeable acting like this, but it’s not like she brings anything to the table other than looks no matter what role she’s playing.
935
936John Laurinaitis backstage told HHH that Laurinaitis is not responsible for what happened at Hell in a Cell. He wanted an apology from HHH for knocking him down accidentally last night. He then said that HHH should ask talent for a vote of confidence later in the show. HHH told everyone to come to the ring for that, including Laurinaitis.
937
938The returning Santino Marella beat Jinder Mahal. Santino spoke gibberish in response to Mahal’s Indian prior to the match for comedy. Mahal missed a knee and Santino hit the cobra for the win in a matter of seconds.
939
940They aired the angle with Miz and Truth from Hell in a Cell pretty much in its entirety. They then had a youtube video with Miz and Truth apologizing for the incident while complaining about HHH and explaining their wrongful termination and assault lawsuit.
941
942John Cena, CM Punk, Sheamus, Mason Ryan, Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne beat Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes, Christian and David Otunga. They gave them over 25 minutes and this was a good match. The heels worked over Kingston for a while and then worked over Bourne for a while. Cena got the tag and hit shoulder blocks and the Cena slam on Del Rio. Cena went for the FU but Del Rio countered and the heels took over on Cena.
943
944Cena eventually got the tag to Sheamus. Sheamus hit a powerslam and knee lift on Ziggler. Sheamus went to the top but Christian grabbed him and Del Rio pushed him off the top. Ziggler gave Sheamus the famouser but Sheamus kicked out. Christian hit a spear on Sheamus, which set up the spot where everyone takes turns hitting moves on other guys. Bourne hit a double knee off the top on Christian. Rhodes hit the roll of the dice on Christian. Punk hit the GTS on Del Rio. Cena gave Otunga the FU. Ziggler hit the zig zag on Cena, but Sheamus then gave Ziggler the Brogue kick for the win.
945
946The Raw wrestlers, Smackdown wrestlers, referees and Jerry Lawler circled the ring for the final segment. Lawler being there was a cruel development after having to endure Booker T the previous two hours. A few of the top faces weren’t out there, including John Cena, CM Punk and Randy Orton.
947
948HHH said the COO role was a job he was given, not something he sought. He said that he’s not upset at Miz and Truth for what they did but rather for being unable to deal with their punishment. HHH said he likes watching wrestlers fight and the people like watching wrestlers fight. He concluded that he works for the fans and asked the wrestlers what they thought.
949
950Wade Barrett said that it is an unsafe working environment and that HHH is incapable of controlling talent. Barrett said HHH likes chaos and is out of control. HHH responded by mocking Barrett for failing in his attempts to create chaos. Referee Mike Chioda said he has never seen so much referee abuse and for the first time in over a decade he is afraid to come to work.
951
952Beth Phoenix said that on behalf of the women, they are afraid something might happen. HHH basically pointed out nothing has and Beth said that it could. Jerry Lawler then came in the ring. He said he agreed with some things said and disagreed with others. Lawler said he thinks the show is spiraling out of control. Lawler said someone behind the scenes is trying to sabotage HHH’s job and won’t stop until HHH is gone. Thus, Lawler concluded it is ultimately HHH’s fault that things are so dangerous for the performers.
953
954Christian called for a vote. He voted no confidence with some other heels. Chioda and the referees said no confidence. Beth and the women said no confidence. Lawler said no confidence and walked out. The wrestlers then started walking about. Michael Cole walked out. The final faces walked out. Booker T and the ring announcer walked out. The cameramen put down their cameras and walked out. Finally, Jim Ross got up and walked out. Laurinaitis walked out onto the stage shaking his head with just HHH standing at ringside.
955
956Final Thoughts:
957
958On the positive side, I like the renewed focus on providing mostly clean finishes. I think that will be a very helpful development if it continues over time. This show also had good wrestling content.
959
960On the downside, this HHH angle is just terrible. Who cares if HHH retains his COO job or not? It’s not like things are any different with him in charge. It’s not like he’s had the role for any real period of time. It’s not like he seems to care much about having the job. It’s not like he’s going to leave the show if they remove him from the job. And yet we have to listen to the announcers go on and on and on about it all two hours.
961
962What’s even more annoying is it all feels so fake and contrived. HHH has only been in his role a few months and things are the same as they always are. They were doing tons of angles at a breakneck pace before HHH was in charge. A few angles with Miz and Truth don’t feel like anything out of the ordinary. Yet now the story is things are out of control and so everyone talks about that even though it doesn’t remotely feel that way. It’s just the directive, like everyone must say “WWE Universe” over and over again even though nobody in the real world would be caught dead using that asinine expression.
963
964It’s fine if the heels say that things are out of control. They are after all heels, out to get rid of HHH the babyface. But when all the face wrestlers, announcers and cameramen seem to agree, it just feels ridiculous. It’s not that it inspires anger at the faces for doing that, although they certainly don’t come off well. It’s simply unbelievable that those characters are acting that way. 
965
966We’ve seen cars blowing up, vehicular attacks, gang beatdowns, big injury angles to top stars and a cavalcade of hotshot angles and now the cameramen are walking off the job because they’re terrified of a Miz run-in? The wrestlers are unanimous in turning on HHH as an authority figure because of a Miz run-in? It’s just bad storytelling. They haven’t made the stakes feel important or the actions feel believable, and by acting like it’s this huge deal it will be even harder next month when they try to hotshot another big angle.
967POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:48 PM 5 COMMENTS
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1101 ~~~
1102
1103
1104SMASHMOUTH DRIVING
1105MONDAY, JULY 25, 2011
1106WWE Raw Report
1107Date: 07/25/11 from Hampton, VA.
1108
1109The Big News: The WWE title changed hands twice, Jim Ross returned and CM Punk showed up at the end of an eventful edition of Raw.
1110
1111Show Analysis:
1112
1113Rey Mysterio beat Miz to win the WWE title. Miz worked over Mysterio for much of the match. He hit a DDT and slingshot sit down power bomb. Miz’s offense looked really good here. Mysterio then made a simple comeback with a huracanrana, 619 and top rope splash to take the title. After the match, Miz jumped Mysterio. Alberto Del Rio ran down to cash in Money in the Bank but Mysterio caught him with a pescado and Del Rio took off without having officially cashed in.
1114
1115Backstage, a bunch of jobbers congratulated Rey Mysterio on his win. John Cena came up and shook Rey’s hand. Rey gave a little speech and the wrestlers poured champagne on him. This was a nice little touch that made the title feel more important.
1116
1117Dolph Ziggler beat Evan Bourne. They have remixed Ziggler’s entrance theme. Ziggler took over on Bourne. Bourne came back with dropkicks and went for the shooting star press but Ziggler moved out of the way. Bourne landed on his feet but Ziggler caught him in a sleeper and the referee stopped the bout. After the match, Ziggler said on the microphone, “Follow that.” I assume that’s a new part of his shtick.
1118
1119Eve Torres and Kelly Kelly beat Melina and Maryse. They usually rotate wins for the women but it has reached the point where if you see Melina in the match you know who’s losing. They did comedy backstage before the match to plug a sponsor. Eve shook her ass provocatively before hitting a standing moonsault on Maryse. Melina distracted Eve and Maryse gave Eve a kick to the back of the head and a stinkface. Obviously, the women have been getting a little more leeway for sexuality recently. Kelly got the hot tag and hit a Thesz press, neck breaker, bulldog and famouser on Melina for the win.
1120
1121HHH came out to the ring. He put over Vince McMahon. He then announced there would be a second title match on Raw: Mysterio vs. John Cena. That got some “Cena sucks” chants. HHH said he had re-signed somebody. It was of course teasing CM Punk but instead Jim Ross returned.
1122
1123Michael Cole got on the announce table and ran down Ross. Cole refused to work with Ross. HHH said he had thought about firing Cole but it would cost more to let him go than to keep him. HHH noted that if Cole left it would be a breach and Cole would lose his future earnings. He told Cole to take the rest of the night off and decide by Friday. Cole said he wouldn’t quit. HHH then told Cole to get ready for his match. HHH said he picked gear for Cole and Cole would be wrestling next.
1124
1125R. Truth came out to speak with HHH. He was seen speaking with HHH backstage previously. Truth accused HHH of being part of the conspiracy and wanted HHH to make things better. HHH made fun of Truth for talking to voices. They did a bunch of comedy. HHH said he re-signed another person who wanted a piece of the truth. John Morrison came out and attacked Truth. Morrison gave Truth the starship pain.
1126
1127Zack Ryder beat Michael Cole. Cole came out to HHH’s music and was wearing HHH ring gear. He did the HHH entrance for comedy. When Ryder came out as the surprise opponent he didn’t appear to get much of a reaction but moments later there were pretty loud “let’s go Ryder” chants. Ryder hit the rough rider quickly for the win.
1128
1129Alberto Del Rio beat Kofi Kingston. Kingston hit a springboard crossbody and boom drop but missed trouble in paradise. Del Rio attacked the arm and shortly thereafter caught Kingston in the armbar for the tap. Backstage, Miz ranted and raved basically about the state of his career. He said HHH’s appointment was a big mistake.
1130
1131John Cena beat Rey Mysterio to win the WWE title. Mysterio hit some leg kicks early. We got dueling Cena chants. Cena came back with a clothesline on the floor and powerslam. Cena went for his shoulderblocks but Mysterio countered with a dropkick. Cena hit the Cena slam and five knuckle but Mysterio escaped the FU attempt. Mysterio hit a top rope senton for two. Mysterio put Cena in the STF. Cena countered into an FU attempt but his knee gave out.
1132
1133Mysterio hit the 619 but Cena got his knees up when Mysterio went for the top rope splash. Mysterio went for a huracanrana but Cena threw him off. Cena hit a top rope leg drop to Mysterio’s front. Mysterio tried to set up the 619 but Cena turned around and hit the FU for the win.
1134
1135After the match, Cena helped Mysterio up. “Cult of Personality” played for a while and finally CM Punk showed up on the stage with the WWE title. He came down to the ring smiling. Cena held up his title. Punk responded by holding up his title and the show ended.
1136
1137Final Thoughts:
1138
1139I really liked most of this show. Jim Ross coming back, if it’s a permanent move, is a long overdue decision. There was plenty of good wrestling and intrigue. They even gave Zack Ryder a good opportunity to make an impression. I’m not so sold on Punk coming back so quickly, however. It just feels rushed. There isn’t enough time to get over the legitimacy of the two versions of the WWE title and you need more of a buffer zone to set up a big title match after so many recent title switches. With that said, the basic direction remains strong and there is plenty left for them to do along these lines.
1140POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:41 PM 8 COMMENTS
1141MONDAY, JULY 18, 2011
1142WWE Raw Report
1143Date: 07/18/11 from Green Bay, WI.
1144
1145The Big News: Big dominos continue to fall in WWE, with HHH announcing that Vince McMahon has been relieved of his duties and HHH appointed the new head of WWE’s day-to-day operations.
1146
1147Show Analysis:
1148
1149Vince McMahon and John Laurinaitis came out to start the show. All the wrestlers were watching backstage on a monitor. There were loud CM Punk chants. Vince said he will never say that name again. He called Punk the biggest ingrate in WWE history, who turned his back on the fans and the locker room. He labeled Punk an egotistical, selfish turd. Vince said no one man is bigger than the WWE.
1150
1151Vince announced that there would be a tournament on Raw to crown a new WWE champion. He went through the brackets, which did not include John Cena. Vince said Cena let him down. He warned Cena that there would be severe consequences. Vince said this would be a night people would always remember. The announcers said Cena on Twitter claimed to have already been fired.
1152
1153Miz beat Alex Riley in a first round tournament match. Miz was selling an injured leg and Riley went after it immediately. He worked over the leg for much of the match. Riley hit clotheslines and a spine buster and went for his implant DDT. Miz reversed that and went for the skull crushing finale but Riley got out of it. Miz dove off the ropes and was caught in the Texas cloverleaf. Miz escaped and hit the skull crushing finale for the win. This was a strangely booked match with the face going right after a heel’s injured leg only to be caught with the heel’s finisher for a relatively clean pin.
1154
1155R. Truth beat Jack Swagger in a first round tournament match. Prior to the match, they aired a video package for the soon-to-return John Morrison. Swagger got the best of the action early. He hit Irish whips, a Vader bomb and chop block. He went for the ankle lock but Truth reversed that into a cradle for the win.
1156
1157Kofi Kingston beat Alberto Del Rio in a first round tournament match. Del Rio before the match said he hopes John Cena is fired and Del Rio will be the new leader of the company. Ricardo Rodriguez finally made his return and put over Del Rio on the ramp. Kingston hit a tope but Del Rio gave him an enzuigiri as he came back into the ring. Del Rio used a tilt-a-whirl back breaker and went for the armbar. That led to a sloppy pair of rollups with Kingston getting Del Rio down for the three. Del Rio’s shoulder wasn’t down the entire time and the announcers pointed it out but I’m not sure if that was intended or just an accident. Backstage after the match, Kingston said he just took his first step towards becoming the new WWE champion.
1158
1159Rey Mysterio beat Dolph Ziggler. Mysterio hit a senton off the top. Ziggler responded with a neck breaker. Mysterio missed the 619 and Ziggler hit an inverted powerslam. Mysterio then finished Ziggler with the 619 and a top rope splash.
1160
1161Kelly Kelly, Beth Phoenix, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, AJ, Natalya and Kaitlyn beat Melina, Alicia Fox, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Maryse, Rosa Mendes and Tamina. They had 14 wrestlers in the match, but again only 2 were ever in. Beth gave Rosa a slingshot suplex. A big brawl broke out. Beth then hit the glam slam on Rosa for the win. The match went 45 seconds or so.
1162
1163Miz beat Kofi Kingston in the first tournament semifinal. Kingston, like Riley, went right after Miz’s bad leg. He set up for trouble in paradise but Miz crawled out of the ring. Kingston went after him but Miz snapped Kingston’s neck on the ropes. Miz dropped Kingston on the top turnbuckle and hit the skull crushing finale for the win. Miz was bleeding pretty badly from the mouth at the end. Backstage, Truth said the conspiracy wouldn’t keep him from beating Rey. He said the title would get got. They also aired a video package on Andy Leavine growing up poor.
1164
1165Rey Mysterio beat R. Truth in the second tournament semifinal. Truth hit a head over heels clothesline and worked over Mysterio. Mysterio used an arm drag to throw Truth out of the ring and hit a tope to the outside. Truth worked over Mysterio for a while and hit another big clothesline when Mysterio went for the 619. Truth hit a cool looking suplex into a stunner. Mysterio then closed the show with a 619 and top rope splash for the finish.
1166
1167Vince McMahon came out and said they were running low on time and would postpone the WWE title tournament final until next week. Mysterio seemed angry but left. I liked this, both in the sense they can hopefully build ratings a little bit for that match but also because it sort of acknowledges time constraints and I would like WWE to do little touches of that here and there to create a more realistic feel.
1168
1169Vince McMahon said that he can create a new John Cena. The crowd loudly chanted for Punk. Vince thanked Cena for his contributions to WWE. He said he does what’s right for business. The crowd again loudly chanted for Punk. Cena came out and said he didn’t want to go through what Shawn Michaels did. No matter what Michaels did, he had to carry the burden of screwing Bret. Cena said he didn’t want to be the guy who screwed Punk and wouldn’t be Vince’s patsy. Cena said Vince can go ahead and find a new opponent for Rock at WrestleMania. He added that he feels he belongs in WWE but if Vince lets him go he will walk on someone else’s TV show and keep doing this, “brother.” That was an obvious Impact Wrestling reference.
1170
1171Vince was about to announce his decision and apparently fire Cena when HHH came out in a suit. Vince introduced HHH as his son-in-law. HHH said there was a board of directors meeting earlier in the day. He asked Vince to come talk about it in the back. Vince wanted to do it in the ring so HHH told him the board was concerned about Vince’s questionable decisions and gave him a vote of no confidence. Vince added that the family agrees. HHH said he has been appointed to take over day-to-day operations of WWE. HHH said Vince wouldn’t fire Cena.
1172
1173HHH finally announced that it’s just business, but that Vince has been relieved of his duties. Vince did a great job selling this and began crying immediately. The crowd began singing goodbye. HHH said he didn’t want to do this but was just trying to do what’s right for business. “I love you, pop,” HHH concluded and dropped the microphone. The crowd applauded a teary-eyed Vince and chanted “thank you” at the close of the show.
1174
1175Final Thoughts:
1176
1177This was another entertaining and interesting show. It continues to feel like WWE is headed in a very positive direction and it would seem there are plenty of twists and turns ahead. A reprise of the Shawn Michaels/Razor Ramon Intercontinental title program with CM Punk seems likely, as does HHH taking the role of a heavy down the line. Both should work well. John Cena in the top face role doesn’t fit very well into the rest of what’s going on, but they’ve done their best the past few weeks to make him more likeable to the people not already on his side.
1178
1179One final point of interest is where they are going with the WWE title. You would figure they are putting the title on a heel to set up an eventual conflict with Punk, but Miz was booked on this show more like a face. WWE is clicking right now, so I’ve got confidence everything will come together well.
1180POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:04 PM 3 COMMENTS
1181MONDAY, JULY 11, 2011
1182WWE Raw Report
1183Date: 07/11/11 from Boston, MA.
1184
1185The Big News: WWE completed its best build for a pay-per-view match since Batista vs. HHH. It remains to be seen how many orders WWE can generate for a B pay-per-view with a three week build but it’s hard to do much better of a job than this. Hopefully fans encourage WWE to continue in this direction by ordering the show.
1186
1187Show Analysis:
1188
1189CM Punk came out to start the show with his new mustache and a megaphone. He sat down in the middle of the ring and asked if he has people’s attention now. He said that he got in trouble because he has the balls to say things nobody else has the balls to say. That got a big face pop. Punk said the company is filled with a parade of shameless ass kissers. He noted he is now reinstated and brought back up in the form of the megaphone in case they try to cut his microphone off. The crowd began loudly chanting “CM Punk.”
1190
1191Punk said that he had been given a microphone because Vince McMahon wants to sign him to a lucrative long term contract. Punk said it is funny Vince is bending over backwards for him now because all he ever wanted was the power of the microphone. Punk called himself the hottest property in the industry. He claimed to have made WWE socially relevant in the real world. Punk said WWE only gets mentions in the real world because CM Punk is speaking his mind or because somebody died. He brought up the interest there has been in him from the media.
1192
1193Punk observed that now he has one foot out the door and finally Vince wants to give him everything he wants. Punk said that if Vince treated him this way five years ago he wouldn’t have five years of loaded up ammunition. He suggested he have the first ever live contract negotiation in the ring with Vince. Punk said that maybe he would sign, maybe he wouldn’t, and maybe Vince would join the CM Punk kiss my ass club.
1194
1195That brought out John Cena, who was serious and not joking around. Punk thanked Cena for reinstating him into a job he didn’t want. Punk said he will beat Cena for the title and change how it looks because it has been far too ugly for far too long. The fans cheered that one. Punk pointed out that if Cena loses, he isn’t really going to be fired. He noted the last time Cena was fired it lasted no time at all and told Cena not to worry about that.
1196
1197Cena responded that Punk likes to run his mouth. Cena noted that Punk has to go through Cena to leave the company with the title and Cena said he is no pushover. Cena said a lot of people thought they were the best, referencing a number of people no longer with the company including Kurt Angle, and then they faced Cena and were left disappointed. Cena said he doesn’t care what Punk says because he is coming to Chicago to whip Punk’s ass. The GM then said that Vince was on the way to negotiate with Punk and that Cena would be wrestling in a special match next.
1198
1199This was a tremendous start to the show. Punk was great again and Cena was really good in his own right. He didn’t do the goofy comedy and instead delivered an intense promo that made him look strong and made the title match seem important. As an added bonus, they continued the kind of edgy feel with nods to facts WWE usually wouldn’t bring up and more colorful language than usual.
1200
1201John Cena beat Michael McGillicutty and David Otunga. Michael Cole was telling the story that this match was made to appease Punk and get him to re-sign. Cole was freaking out selling what it would mean if someone left with the title and made references to the WCW war and Bruno Sammartino. Nexus worked over Cena. Cena came back with a fisherman buster on Otunga and shoulder blocks, the Cena slam and five knuckle on McGillicutty. Cena went for the FU but Otunga stopped him. Cena regained control with a famouser off the top and STF on McGillicutty but Otunga broke that up. Finally, Cena hit the FU on McGillicutty, threw Otunga out of the ring, and pinned McGillicutty.
1202
1203They’ve done this so many times that it’s hard to be bothered any more, but I just don’t understand the mentality of having a singles wrestler beat the tag champions in a handicap match. If you’re so dead set on a handicap match, which to me always do more harm than good unless it involves jobbers, at least have it be two wrestlers who aren’t the tag champions.
1204
1205Backstage, Vickie Guerrero, Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre were making fun of Vince McMahon. They went on for quite a while before Vince finally of course came in and revealed he overheard what they were saying. Vince made McIntyre and Ziggler vs. Big Show in a handicap match.
1206
1207Kelly Kelly beat Melina. Kelly hit a handspring elbow, stinkface, neck breaker and famouser for the win. Things don’t look good for Melina these days. The Bellas did commentary and after the match they made fun of Kelly for not eating. A fight broke out and Eve Torres tried to make the save. However, the Bellas got the best of things this week.
1208
1209Miz did a promo from the top of a ladder. He said he knows what it takes to be champ and he will show it at the PPV. He started to do his catchphrase when he was interrupted by Jack Swagger. Swagger noted he has also cashed in MITB and won the title and said he will do it again. Miz asked if someone cashes in MITB and nobody remembers, did it really happen? Evan Bourne was next out and said he was tired of hearing what the other guys have done. Bourne said he will steal the show and win the match.
1210
1211Kofi Kingston made his entrance and noted this was all talk. Kingston said if he wins the match it will be because of what he does and not because of what he says. He brought out how Edge’s career was ended by matches like this. R. Truth continued the procession. He said two weeks ago he beat John Cena and did some comedy about being afraid of spiders rather than heights. It’s a real shame what they have done to Truth because he was a hot heel and they’ve turned him into a complete joke.
1212
1213Alex Riley ran out and didn’t say anything but just went after Miz. Finally, Alberto Del Rio came out and said he shouldn’t be in MITB because he took out Rey Mysterio and is the number one contender. Del Rio vowed to teach all of them a lesson. The GM announced a six man tag. I’m not really a fan of these contrived feeling segments but the participants did well.
1214
1215Alex Riley, Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne beat R. Truth, Miz and Jack Swagger. The heels worked over Bourne. Kingston got the tag and hit dropkicks, clotheslines, the boom drop and a frog crossbody off the top. The heels took back over on Kingston and worked him over for a bit. Kingston hit a double DDT on Swagger and Truth, then tagged Riley. Riley hit a spear and spine buster on Swagger. Swagger went for the Vader bomb but Riley got up his feet and hit the implant DDT for the win.
1216
1217After the match, Miz gave Riley the skull crushing finale. Everyone took turns hitting moves on other guys. Bourne was going for the shooting star press when Del Rio ran in and pushed Bourne off the top. Del Rio then laid everyone out with a ladder and gloated in the ring. This was a good match and a good post-match as well.
1218
1219Big Show fought to a double count out with Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre in a handicap match. This wasn’t a match so much as an angle. Show just destroyed McIntyre for a while as Ziggler hid from the action. Show beat up McIntyre on the ramp and they were both counted out. Show continued to destroy McIntyre and went for a choke slam off the stage when Mark Henry ran in and knocked Show off the stage into protected cushioning. Henry running in out of nowhere looked cool but the bump looked basically fake because of all the protection.
1220
1221Vince McMahon came out for the final segment of the show. He said he is not joining the CM Punk kiss my ass club. Vince said contracts shouldn’t be negotiated in public, which seems like a good rule of thumb. Vince had a contract ready for Punk and said it included his own collector’s cup. Punk came out and immediately got in a “Whatamaneuver!” to mock Vince. Punk said he thought Vince would come out in a Cena t-shirt but now he saw Vince has no faith in Cena.
1222
1223Vince replied that he just couldn’t live with himself if Punk left with the title. Vince referred to Punk as Phil. Punk said his lawyers drew up a different contract with new perks. Punk said he would get to push Vince and Vince will like it. Punk wanted his own jet and his face on everything like the Titantron, turnbuckles, cups, shoes and socks. Punk said he wanted Vince to bring back the ice cream bars. That got a big positive reaction and “ice cream bars” chants. Punk said he wants WWE Films to produce CM Punk: the Movie. He said they can call it Chaperone 2, only entertaining, funny and successful.
1224
1225Punk said Dwayne, or Rock for those who don’t watch crappy Disney movies, can still wrestle Cena at WrestleMania but Punk will be in the main event. Finally, he wanted Vince to apologize to Punk and the people. Punk said Vince does the anti-bullying campaign but Vince is one of the biggest bullies he’s met in his life and Vince will apologize. This got loud “CM Punk” chants. Punk said he has had his friends fired from the company. Vince said they deserved it. Punk replied that Vince wants to punish people for liking wrestling like Colt Cabana and Luke Gallows.
1226
1227Punk said he is the voice of the voiceless and Vince will apologize and like it. The crowd started chanting “we want wrestling.” Vince yelled that he doesn’t give a damn what the people want. Punk said that is the problem, that Vince doesn’t give a damn. Punk added that his problem is he cares too much. Punk said he’s a bad guy and doesn’t wear the white hat but he is in touch with what the people want. He demanded an apology. Vince apologized and then apologized again more loudly. Punk celebrated.
1228
1229Vince went to sign the contract, with audible chants of “Colt Cabana” and “we want wrestling.” However, John Cena came out to interrupt. Cena noted that the people love Punk but Punk is going to walk out on them. Cena said that if Vince wants to give into a terrorist, he won’t tell Vince what to do. Cena said Punk and Vince are like spoiled brats and did some terrible obnoxious comedy. Cena said he dislikes Vince but still shows up for work. He called Punk a hypocrite and brought up Rock saying he was home and never leaving again. Cena said Punk just wants to take the title and walk out.
1230
1231Cena started to say Punk has lost sight when Punk interrupted. Punk observed that Cena still looks at him like a kid who can’t hang with him. He brought up being dressed up like a gangster as part of Cena’s entourage at WrestleMania in Chicago. Punk said he vowed then that in a few years he wouldn’t be watching Cena but beating him. Punk then said, “This is the part where I talk them into the building.”
1232
1233Punk said Cena is like the Red Sox or Patriots or Bruins or Celtics, the Boston sports teams who still view themselves as underdogs when in fact they’re winning titles and dominating. Punk pointed out Cena’s father and wife in the front row. Punk said Cena is what he hates: he’s a 10 time champion and no longer the underdog but rather the dynasty. Punk said Cena has become the Yankees. Cena punched Punk in response. This angle is written for Bill Simmons.
1234
1235Punk walked up the aisle referring to Cena as Steinbrenner or Jeter and said that he is the real underdog. Punk said the reason he wants to leave is because he is tired of this, tired of Cena, just tired. Punk said Sunday say goodbye to the WWE title, say goodbye to Cena and say goodbye to CM Punk. He tore up the contract and said he will go be the best in the world somewhere else. This segment went way past the usual time and was fantastic.
1236
1237Final Thoughts:
1238
1239Punk vs. Cena is the sort of feud that makes me love wrestling. You’ve got two very distinct characters with completely different goals fighting for stakes that feel significant and real. I hope WWE has some great ideas going forward, because this is their chance to get hot again.
1240POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:18 PM 3 COMMENTS
1241MONDAY, JULY 04, 2011
1242WWE Raw Report
1243Date: 07/04/11 from Las Vegas, NV.
1244
1245The Big News: John Cena convinced Vince McMahon to go through with a Cena vs. CM Punk main event at Money in the Bank. 
1246
1247Show Analysis:
1248
1249John Cena came out to start the show. He said that Punk had been suspended indefinitely and lost his title shot. Cena said the decision sucked and that Punk was suspended for speaking his mind. Cena pointed out it’s a PG show and that while he didn’t agree with what Punk said, it didn’t cross any lines. He brought up Daniel Bryan being fired for being too violent and signs being taken away from fans. He said that first amendment rights were being taken away. So apparently Cena has no idea what the first amendment means. Cena said he called Vince McMahon and that McMahon would be on the show later.
1250
1251I liked this promo. It was delivered seriously like Cena cares about this and is standing up for what’s right while Cena also did a bunch of things to accentuate Punk’s points. He brought up the Bryan thing, the PG direction and just generally came across as kind of disingenuous. In short, the promo gave you good reasons to either get behind or stand against Cena.
1252
1253Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres beat the Bella twins. The Bellas worked over Eve briefly. Kelly tagged in and used a Thesz press, whirlybird, stinkface, bulldog and famouser for the win. Backstage, R. Truth backstage did a lame comedy promo. They’re turning him into a joke and it’s such a waste given how well he was connecting. Alberto Del Rio ran into Truth and did his usual promo about destiny.
1254
1255Michael McGillicutty and David Otunga defeated Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov. Nexus beat up Kozlov for a bit. Kozlov got the tag to Santino. Santino used a couple hip tosses and a diving head butt. He set up for the cobra but decided to use it on Otunga on the apron. McGillicutty then gave Santino the cutter for the win. Zack Ryder appeared on the stage afterwards to say woo woo woo you know it.
1256
1257An intense Miz backstage said Alex Riley’s run of success will come to an end. Jack Swagger confronted Sgt. Slaughter and Evan Bourne elsewhere. He made fun of Slaughter’s age and challenged Slaughter to a fight. Slaughter accepted.
1258
1259Jack Swagger beat Sgt. Slaughter. Slaughter hit some chops, an elbow and applied the cobra clutch. However, Swagger got out of the hold quickly. He then hit a clothesline and Vader bomb on Slaughter for the pin. After the match, Swagger put the ankle lock on Slaughter. Evan Bourne made the save and Slaughter said the pledge of allegiance.
1260
1261Alberto Del Rio beat Rey Mysterio and R. Truth to become number one contender. Mysterio hit a crossbody off the top onto Truth on Del Rio’s shoulders. Del Rio accidentally ran into the post and Mysterio gave Truth the 619 and a top rope splash. Mysterio had Truth covered but Del Rio ran in and grabbed Mysterio’s arm for the armbar submission. The finish was cool, if a little too similar to the triple threat number one contender match finish from a couple weeks ago.
1262
1263Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler came to the ring. Vickie said that it was Ziggler’s birthday and sang happy birthday to him. Ziggler said there will never be another Dolph Ziggler. Kofi Kingston interrupted and said Ziggler can’t beat him without Vickie. Ziggler said he left Kingston in the dust and told Kingston to leave. Kingston shoved Ziggler and Ziggler accidentally sent Vickie’s behind into the birthday cake. Then, as she was surveying the damage, the wrestlers brawled back into Vickie and he front fell into the cake.
1264
1265Alex Riley beat Miz. Miz dominated the match forever until Riley hit a spear and spine buster. Miz took back over with a clothesline and went for his back breaker/neck breaker combination. He hit the back breaker but then Riley reversed the neck breaker into a backslide for the win. After the match, Miz attacked Riley. He sent Riley into the barricade and steps and hit a big running kick to the head. Miz was freaking out, alternating between fury and dejection about losing again to Riley.
1266
1267Vince McMahon closed the show. He said that Punk’s suspension wasn’t about Vince’s ego but about doing the right things for the people. He added that Punk’s contract is almost up and Punk wants limo service, first class flights, magazines, DVDs and more. Vince said Punk isn’t worthy of magazines and DVDs. The fans booed that. Vince called CM Punk a Punk and went to leave.
1268
1269That brought out John Cena. He claimed Vince is about freedom of expression and this goes against that. He said that Vince is a fighter but maybe he has gone soft and if he isn’t willing to fight he should hang it up, “old man.” Vince responded that his real reason for suspending Punk was he didn’t want to risk that Punk would beat Cena. He noted he has been through this before and if Punk wins, he will walk into another wrestling organization with the title. Vince said he won’t be embarrassed. 
1270
1271Cena said he won’t guarantee that he will beat Punk but the match should happen. He said Cena/Punk would be the biggest match of the year but now it won’t happen. Vince told Cena not to be like Hulk Hogan and others by pissing him off. Vince noted it’s not Cena’s company but Vince’s. Cena said if that’s how Vince runs his company, Cena doesn’t want to be a part of it. 
1272
1273Cena said he recognizes he is replaceable but he puts his heart into the company. He concluded that Punk earned his right to fight for the title and if Vince kicks Punk to the curb he has made the title meaningless. He handed the title back to Vince and left. Vince followed Cena up the ramp and told Cena that Punk is reinstated and Cena has his match. Vince then added that if Punk leaves Chicago with the title, Vince will fire Cena.
1274
1275Final Thoughts:
1276
1277The second taped show on double shows tend to be less newsworthy, and this show was mostly centered on carrying through what happened last week. I’m still very optimistic about the potential for this angle and intrigued with the finish they have planned for the pay-per-view.
1278POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 10:45 PM 1 COMMENTS
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1411
1412 
1413
1414~~
1415
1416
1417SMASHMOUTH DRIVING
1418MONDAY, JUNE 27, 2011
1419WWE Raw Report
1420Date: 06/27/11 from Las Vegas, NV.
1421
1422The Big News: CM Punk produced the single most captivating segment on WWE television in the past decade. If you didn’t see this segment, seek it out now.
1423
1424Show Analysis:
1425
1426Shawn Michaels came out to start the show. Michaels said he tried to stay away but couldn’t do it. Lawler asked on commentary whether Michaels is coming back. Michaels said he has missed the crowd. He noted he was not the guest host. He plugged his new TV show by pretending not to. That brought out CM Punk, Michael McGillicutty and David Otunga. Mason Ryan wasn’t there and the announcers said Ryan was injured over the weekend.
1427
1428Punk accused Michaels of having an addictive personality that won’t let him stay away. Punk said he is leaving and unlike Michaels he will go out a winner. Punk reprimanded the people for cheering the past in Michaels over the future in Punk. Michaels responded that people cheer him because they know he is better than Punk. Punk said Michaels was better at one point but isn’t now. He asked Michaels if this was a challenge and said they are a lot alike in their brashness.
1429
1430Michaels said they have similarities but he has his own style. Michaels then gave Otunga sweet chin music. Punk told Michaels he just made a big mistake. The GM then popped up and announced Punk would have his Raw roulette match immediately. Booker T spun a question mark and said this meant Punk would have to face a mystery opponent, Kane. Some mystery. Kane was standing right there next to Booker. Good thing mystery came up on the first spin. Michaels then gave McGillicutty sweet chin music.
1431
1432Kane beat CM Punk via count out. There were loud chants for Punk early. Punk tried a springboard but was caught by the neck. Punk avoided the choke slam and took over with punches and kicks. Kane responded with a big boot and went to the top. Punk cut him off and tried a superplex but Kane threw him off. Punk then just walked off for the count out. This was a terrible finish and a terrible way to build up a title challenger.
1433
1434Sin Cara beat Evan Bourne in a no count out match from the wheel. They traded kicks. Cara hit a tope. Bourne used a spinning head scissors on the floor. Cara used la magistral for two. Bourne hit a flying knee for two. Bourne used a standing moonsault but missed the shooting star press. Cara then hit la mistica and rolled Bourne over for the pin rather than applying the Fujiwara armbar. This was a fun match.
1435
1436Kofi Kingston beat Dolph Ziggler in a non-title match. Kingston was supposed to spin the wheel but Vickie Guerrero spun instead. It came up “player’s choice” so Kingston got to choose the match and had Vickie barred from ringside. Ziggler started to leave at the start of the match but Kingston chased after him and brought him back in. Ziggler worked over Kingston and used the famouser for two. Kingston started to come back with punches when Ziggler tried to throw him out of the ring. Kingston bounced off the ropes with his head and hit trouble in paradise for the win.
1437
1438They announced a Raw Money in the Bank ladder match for the pay-per-view featuring Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, Evan Bourne, R. Truth, Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger, Alex Riley and Miz. It’s too bad they didn’t set up qualifying matches, but that lineup does sound really good.
1439
1440Booker T and Maryse were hanging out by the wheel. Alberto Del Rio wanted to know why he had to face Big Show again after beating him at Capitol Punishment. Maryse agreed with him. Booker was going to spin for Del Rio but Del Rio had Maryse spin instead. It came up on steel cage match.
1441
1442Alberto Del Rio beat Big Show in a cage match. Del Rio used kicks to the head repeatedly and went after Show’s leg. Mark Henry came to ringside. Show hit clotheslines and went for the choke slam but Del Rio kicked out his leg and hit a DDT. Show followed with a superplex. Henry then ripped the door off the cage and attacked Show. Del Rio crawled out the door. This was a garbage finish, both in terms of making matches seem like nothing and in terms of making cage matches seem like nothing. Afterwards, Henry ran at Show with the door and the side of the cage broke apart as Show fell through it. That was a very cool visual.
1443
1444Kelly Kelly beat Nikki Bella in a submissions match from the wheel. Nikki used a Fujiwara armbar. Kelly didn’t submit. Kelly put on a Boston crab. Nikki did submit. These women’s matches where they just go to a finish immediately are so damaging to the basic goal of making matches seem like believable, meaningful competition. After the match, the Bellas attacked Kelly until Eve Torres made the save. They aired a video package on Andy Leavine.
1445
1446After Rey Mysterio spun the wheel for his match backstage, DDP showed up to plug the WCW Nitro DVD with Booker T. Drew McIntyre came in to announce that he is still alive. He said that Booker and DDP were taking his TV time. Shawn Michaels then knocked out McIntyre with sweet chin music and they all laughed at McIntyre. This was one of those comedy burials WWE loves. Shawn Michaels said he hasn’t seen any of the Nitro DVD but he is sure it is exciting.
1447
1448Rey Mysterio and Alex Riley beat Miz and Jack Swagger in a tornado tag from the wheel. Swagger gave Mysterio a Vader bomb and set up for the doomsday device with Miz. Mysterio escaped and sent Swagger into Miz. Mysterio hit a senton off the apron onto Swagger on the floor. Riley used a hip toss off the top on Miz. Swagger threw Mysterio over his head onto the legs of Miz for a stomach breaker.
1449
1450Mysterio came back with a senton off the top on Miz and went for the 619 but Swagger tripped him. Riley gave Swagger a spine buster but Miz broke up the pin attempt. Miz hit a scorpion death drop on Riley for two. Mysterio ran into a Swagger big boot for two. Mysterio went for the 619 but was caught and Swagger put him in the ankle lock. Riley broke it up and kicked Swagger in the head. Mysterio hit the 619, Riley hit an implant DDT, and Mysterio hit a top rope splash for the pin. This was a very exciting match.
1451
1452R. Truth beat John Cena in a tables match. Truth now speaks to imaginary people. Truth worked over Cena early. Cena sent Truth into the steps. Cena went for the FU through a table but Punk pulled the table out of the ring. Punk went into the ring and Cena lifted him up for the FU at which point Truth speared Cena through the tale for the win. This fluke win over Cena formula has worked so well for WWE on PPV, so why not continue?
1453
1454Then, with Cena lying in the ring, CM Punk walked up the ramp and sat down on the stage. I’ve never done this, but here’s the promo verbatim:
1455
1456“John Cena while you lay there hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your WWE championship I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.
1457
1458“I don’t hate you, John. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot better than most of the people in the back. I hate the idea that you’re the best. Because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world. There’s one thing you’re better at than I am and that’s kissing Vince McMahon’s ass. You’re as good at kissing Vince’s ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Dwayne, though. He’s a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is. Oops, I’m breaking the fourth wall (waves at camera).
1459
1460“I’m the best wrestler in the world. I’ve been the best ever since day one when I walked into this company and I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right; I’m a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar, and he split just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Brock is I’m going to leave with the WWE championship.
1461
1462“I’ve grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon’s imaginary brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that they’re just that. They’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me. And the fact that day in and day out for almost 6 years I’ve proved to everyone in the world that I’m the best on this microphone, in the ring, even on commentary. Nobody can touch me.
1463
1464“Yet no matter how many times I prove it I’m not on your lovely little collector’s cups. I’m not on the cover of the program. I’m barely promoted. I don’t get to be in movies. I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network. I’m not on the poster of WrestleMania. I’m not on the signature that’s promoted at the top of the show. I’m not on Conan O’Brien. I’m not on Jimmy Fallon. But the fact of the matter is I should be and trust me this isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that Dwayne is in the main event of WrestleMania next year and I’m not makes me sick.
1465
1466“Let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big of a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you’re the ones sipping out of those collector cups. You’re the ones who buy the programs that my face isn’t on the cover of and then at 5 in the morning in the airport you shove it in my face so you can go sell it on E-bay because you’re too lazy to get a real job.
1467
1468“I’m leaving with the WWE championship on July 17 and who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe I’ll go back to Ring of Honor. Hey Colt Cabana, how you doing? (looks at camera and waves)
1469
1470“The reason I’m leaving is you people, because after I’m gone you’ll still pour money into this company. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel’s gonna keep turning and I understand that. Vince McMahon’s going to make money in spite of himself. He’s a millionaire who should be a billionaire. Know why he’s not a billionaire? It’s because he surrounds himself with glad-handing, nonsensical douchebag yes men like John Laurinaitis who’s going to tell him everything he wants to hear.
1471
1472“And I’d like to think that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon’s dead but the fact is it’s going to get taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family. Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon. We do this whole bully campaign…”
1473
1474At that point the microphone cut out. Punk began yelling that he is the best of the world and he is being silenced. The picture then abruptly cut to black.
1475
1476Final Thoughts:
1477
1478Raw was your usual edition of Raw. The booking was bad although there were a couple of very good matches. Then CM Punk came out and his promo was a gigantic breath of fresh air the likes of which we haven’t seen on WWE television in ages. It was a tremendously entertaining and captivating segment. That’s not just because he said all the things so many longstanding wrestling fans think about the WWE product and it’s cathartic to hear that on WWE television.
1479
1480Putting aside the agreement so many of us have with what Punk said, it was an enormously effective segment in making things feel real, different and important. WWE programming long ago lost the feeling of reality and unpredictability. The promos all sound the same. The matches are all the same. The booking is the same and there’s a very tightly defined formula for what happens. It doesn’t feel like any of the wrestlers have individual agency; they’re just doing what they’re told.
1481
1482Punk’s promo, by contrast, felt like the genuine beliefs of an actual person. He was saying what he felt, not what he was supposed to say. If the company is doing a good job, it ought to feel like everyone is saying what they feel. But that feeling has been lost. Punk’s promo brought back a jarring feeling of authenticity to the show. Now, of course, WWE is on board with everything Punk said. But the nature of the promo was so inside and unique to Punk that it was clearly guided by him as opposed to handed down to him. As a result, the stakes for Punk seem much higher than for other wrestlers. Even better, it’s tied into his quest for the title.
1483
1484Most of the WWE audience isn’t going to understand many of the things Punk said. But that’s fine. The broad strokes are clear and it encourages the fans to engage more. I don’t think this is an angle that’s doomed to short term, internet interest. I think it’s something that could have a lot broader positive impact. Most fans didn’t know the behind-the-scenes background of Scott Hall and Kevin Nash signing with WCW. But they understood there were two very different sides to take and that division and passion ignited the business.
1485
1486There are a lot of people very frustrated with the WWE product. They feel like it’s not aimed at them as longtime wrestling fans. Punk, by expressing what he did in such strong terms, gives voice to that emotion. That in term invites those people back by acknowledging their complaints and giving them someone to support. There are a lot of obstacles to making this angle work as well as its potential. But there hasn’t been a better opportunity in a great many years for WWE to turn around its key business indicators.
1487POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:40 PM 4 COMMENTS
1488MONDAY, JUNE 20, 2011
1489WWE Raw Report
1490Date: 06/20/11 from Baltimore, MD.
1491
1492The Big News: CM Punk will attempt to win the WWE title from John Cena and then take the title with him out of the company.
1493
1494Show Analysis:
1495
1496The show began with CM Punk. Punk said he doesn’t trust the people with making decisions. He would prove prophetic. Punk said he is the best wrestler in the world, actually using the W word. He claimed to have soundly defeated Rey Mysterio and John Cena and said that wins and losses still mean something. Hopefully Vince doesn’t recognize that’s internet type talk. Punk said he is the number one contender and asked the GM to give him a title match at Money in the Bank. He threatened to do a sit in until granted the shot.
1497
1498The GM said that would be taken under consideration and asked Punk to leave the ring. They did the same thing from last week filming right behind the computer as the lights blink to signal an e-mail and it’s the exact same text on the screen with no change. I have no idea why they shoot from that angle. Punk refused to leave. The GM said Punk was going to be number one contender but because of Punk’s disrespect, Punk would have to wrestle Alberto Del Rio for the number one contender spot later in the show. Punk started to complain and the GM announced it would now be a triple threat number one contender match with Punk, Del Rio and Rey Mysterio. Punk finally left. Punk was great here.
1499
1500Kelly Kelly beat Brie Bella to win the women’s title. The choices for Brie’s opponent were Kelly with 53 percent of the vote, Beth Phoenix with 36 percent and Eve Torres with 11 percent. That’s not good for Eve. Brie choked Kelly. Kelly hit a Thesz press and bulldog. Kelly went for a victory roll but Brie dropped down like Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart at WrestleMania X. Kelly, however, rolled through for the pin. Kelly cried after winning. Jerry Lawler came into the ring to briefly interview her after the match. That’s apparently a regular new thing or maybe they have an angle planned but don’t want to telegraph it too much.
1501
1502Mason Ryan beat Evan Bourne. The choices for Bourne’s opponent were Ryan with 51 percent, Sin Cara with 30 percent and Jack Swagger with 19 percent. The live crowd booed the choice of Ryan and it sure sucks we got a bad match when either of the other two options would have been much better. The poll seemed set up for Cara to win, although I seem to recall this sort of thing happening before back when WCW Saturday Night did interactive voting (via a hotline back then) and fans didn’t want to choose face vs. face matches.
1503
1504Bourne hit some dropkicks on Ryan. The crowd began chanting “Batista” pretty loudly. Ryan used a clothesline, back breakers and a press slam. Bourne hit a head kick and used a horrendous looking small package for two. Bourne came off the ropes but was caught with the side effect for the win. Booker T was strangely calling the match as if Ryan was a face. I’m not sure if he thought Ryan was based on the voting or if he just decided to randomly cheerlead for Ryan like he does for Sheamus on Smackdown.
1505
1506Kane beat Mark Henry in an arm wrestling match via DQ. Yes, they couldn’t even provide a finish to an arm wrestling contest. The fans selected an arm wrestling match with 52 percent of the vote instead of an over the top match at 35 percent or body slam challenge at 13 percent. I was hating the voters at this point and the live crowd booed again. They then started chanting “this is stupid.” They stalled forever, then arm wrestled forever, then Henry just punched Kane and that was that. Afterwards, Henry laid out Kane with the arm wrestling table, smashed Kane into the post, and slammed Kane through the announce table.
1507
1508R. Truth came out and criticized the crowd. He said he got okeydoked by little jimmy at Capitol Punishment. Christian came out and said he feels where Truth is coming from. Christian complained about the people costing him the title when he had just won it. He complained about the referee at Capitol Punishment counting the pin when his foot was under the ropes and demanded justice. Truth said at least Christian had the title but little jimmy cost him his shot.
1509
1510That brought out Miz, who called the other two whiners. Miz said his gripes are legitimate and complained about the referee stopping him from using the belt against Alex Riley at the PPV. They all started bickering. They all started saying “really?” Then they started arguing saying “Riley,” “Randy,” and “Jimmy.” Teddy Long came out and told them all to shut up. He announced Christian, Miz and Truth vs. Cena, Riley and Orton for the main event with people picking the stipulations. They didn’t explain why Long would have that authority. This segment was great, one of the best WWE comedy segments of the year.
1511
1512Kofi Kingston beat Dolph Ziggler via DQ in a 2 of 3 falls match. 2 of 3 falls got 51 percent of the vote, Vickie Guerrero banned from ringside 31 percent and submission match 18 percent. Finally we got a good decision from the fans. Ziggler won the first fall after a zig zag on the floor during a commercial break. Ziggler gained control and nearly got a pin with the famouser before Kingston abruptly hit the S.O.S. for the win.
1513
1514Ziggler took back over with offense to start the third fall. The two men traded pinning opportunities. Kingston hit a crossbody to the back for two. Ziggler tried to hit Kingston with the title but missed. Kingston hit trouble in paradise on the floor and brought Ziggler back into the ring but Ziggler grabbed the bottom rope on the pin attempt. Ziggler then hit Kingston with a microphone on the outside for the DQ. That was such a terrible finish after a relatively long match.
1515
1516They announced Raw Roulette next week and that Shawn Michaels will be on the show. Plus, it will be two hours rather than three. These are positives all around.
1517
1518CM Punk beat Rey Mysterio and Alberto Del Rio in a triple threat falls count anywhere match to become number one contender. This was a great match, better than anything on the PPV last night and one of the better WWE TV matches of the year. Falls count anywhere got 66 percent of the vote, no disqualifications got 23 percent of the vote, and submission match got 11 percent of the vote. Ricardo Rodriguez was still not back, and the announcers said he is recuperating from injuries suffered at the hands of Big Show. Del Rio before the match cut a brief promo saying everything is setting up his destiny.
1519
1520Punk power bombed Del Rio off the apron onto the floor for two. Mysterio then hit a senton off the apron onto Punk on the floor for two. And that was most of the falls count anywhere content of the match. Mysterio went for a double 619 but Del Rio got out of the way and Punk caught Mysterio. Del Rio went for the armbar on Mysterio but Punk kicked Del Rio in the back of the head. Punk covered Del Rio but Mysterio broke it up.
1521
1522They did a tower of doom spot with Del Rio power bombing Punk and Punk simultaneously superplexing Mysterio. Del Rio tried to cover Mysterio and then Punk but couldn’t get either. Del Rio used a bridging German suplex on Mysterio but Punk broke up the pin. Del Rio charged at Mysterio but posted his shoulder. Mysterio hit a somersault senton on Mysterio and then ran across the ring for a tope onto Del Rio on the floor. Mysterio followed with a seated senton off the top on Punk for two.
1523
1524Mysterio went for a top rope huracanrana on Punk but Punk avoided it and Del Rio caught Mysterio in the armbar. Punk broke that up with a leg drop off the ropes but only got two on Del Rio. Del Rio used a running enzuigiri on Punk, who fell to the outside. In the ring, Mysterio hit a 619 and top rope splash on Del Rio. However, Punk ran in, threw Mysterio into the post, and stole the pin. This was a tremendous match.
1525
1526After the match, Punk said he will take the title from Cena at Money in the Bank. He then said that is also the day that his WWE contract ends. Punk vowed to leave the next day and said he will leave with the WWE title. Sadly, he didn’t threaten to take the WWE title to ROH.
1527
1528Daniel Bryan beat Cody Rhodes in a no count out match. No count outs got 51 percent, a “paper bag match” 43 percent and collegiate rules 6 percent. Bryan hit a tope, kicks to the body and a suplex on the ramp. Back in the ring, Bryan hit a dropkick off the top. They traded rollups with Bryan getting one successfully for the win.
1529
1530After the match, Bryan tried to put Rhodes in the LeBell lock but Ted DiBiase made the save. Rhodes hit the Alabama slam and roll of the dice on Bryan. They put a paper bag on Bryan’s head. Michael Cole was just burying Booker T and Jerry Lawler’s commentary during this match. It certainly seemed like Vince McMahon getting his jollies, but I think undermining the credibility of your face commentators isn’t smart.
1531
1532Michael Cole won a dance competition over Vickie Guerrero. Cole got 47 percent of the vote compared to 39 percent for Lawler and 14 percent for Booker. I’m not sure what to make of that. Guerrero did a little dance that wasn’t bad and kissed Matt Striker. Michael Cole then came in the ring and was completely over the top doing goofy dances. He did a bad worm and spin-a-roonie. Guerrero received all boos from the crowd. Cole got some cheers mixed in with boos and was labeled the winner. Guerrero then slapped Cole. This wasn’t good, but it was better than I would have expected.
1533
1534Randy Orton, John Cena and Alex Riley beat Miz, R. Truth and Christian in an elimination match. Elimination match received 79 percent of the vote compared to 15 percent for one fall to a finish and 6 percent for 20 minute time limit. Those other two options are so unappealing that it would seem WWE really wanted the elimination match for whatever reason. They blocked away a lot of time for this match so the elimination aspect made sense.
1535
1536The heels worked over Orton to start. Orton caught Christian with a powerslam and tagged Riley. Riley came in and hit a spear and spine buster on Christian. He knocked Miz off the apron, but Miz came back in and attacked Riley. A brawl broke out with Miz hitting the skull crushing finale on Riley and Christian covering Riley for the pin.
1537
1538The heels went back to work on Orton for a bit before he tagged Cena. Cena hit shoulder blocks, the Cena slam and the five knuckle on Miz. He went for the FU but Miz escaped and hit a back breaker/neck breaker combination. Miz then came off the top but Cena countered into the STF. Truth broke that up.
1539
1540The heels once again got the heat on one of the faces, this time Cena. However, when Miz went for the skull crushing finale Cena escaped and hit the FU for the pin on Miz. Christian then missed a splash off the top on Cena and Cena finally got the tag to Orton. Orton hit clotheslines, a powerslam and a draping DDT on Truth. Truth missed the ax kick and Orton hit the RKO on Truth for the pin.
1541
1542The last two falls came very quickly. Christian immediately came in and hit a spear on Orton for a pin, so that program appears as if it isn’t quite finished. Christian celebrated but Cena tried to get him in the FU. Christian escaped that but caught an RKO and Cena applied the STF for the submission. This was a good main event.
1543
1544Final Thoughts:
1545
1546This show was a big turnaround from last week’s effort. There still was some bad stuff, particularly in the first hour, but it was outweighed by plenty of good stuff. There was a top notch match, a top notch comedy segment and very good wrestling in general. But the clear highlight was CM Punk, who was tremendous on the microphone and in the ring. With Punk potentially taking some time off, it will likely have the effect of getting people thinking about just how great he is. He may be the best overall performer in the business right now. It’s not like Raw isn’t stacked with great heels in general, though, with Miz, Del Rio and Truth.
1547POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:57 PM 5 COMMENTS
1548MONDAY, JUNE 13, 2011
1549WWE Raw Report
1550Date: 06/13/11 from Zack Ryder Country, USA.
1551
1552The Big News: WWE celebrated the WWE All Stars video game with a nine hour extravaganza featuring 1 decent finish every 95 minutes.
1553
1554Show Analysis:
1555
1556Miz came out to start the show and labeled himself the all-time WWE All Star. He called Alex Riley a fraud and vowed to expose him. He then asserted Steve Austin is jealous of him and owes him an apology. Steve Austin came out and said Miz can talk but when it is time to fight he runs away. Miz started to say something but Austin told him to shut up. Austin said Riley has more guts than Miz and might be a bigger star than Miz someday.
1557
1558Miz asked for permission to speak like a child but Austin told him he couldn’t and continued on. Austin grabbed Miz by the tie and said Miz and Riley would be in Piper’s Pit later in the show. Austin then told Miz to get out of the ring if he knows what is good for him. So Miz just backed off and left. Miz got completely punked out and treated like a joke here, for no good reason.
1559
1560Alberto Del Rio then came out. Del Rio said Austin would pass the torch from the greatest superstar of Austin’s time to the greatest superstar of all time. Del Rio started talking about destiny and Austin replied that Del Rio’s immediate destiny was an ass whipping. He announced an immediate match between Kane and Del Rio.
1561
1562Kane beat Alberto Del Rio via DQ. Kane missed a clothesline off the top. Del Rio got him in the armbar. Kane got to the ropes but Del Rio refused to break and was disqualified. This was an awful start to the show and terrible finish.
1563
1564Big Show then literally ran out after Del Rio, which was quite the spectacle. Show demonstrated great intensity and wasn’t selling any injury from having his leg run over with a car. He started beating up Del Rio but Del Rio ran off. Show then beat the hell out of Ricardo Rodriguez until Kane had to pull Show off. Rodriguez sold this big. Austin announced Show vs. Del Rio for Capitol Combat. It seems to me that if you book an angle where a guy gets run over by a car, he ought to be gone for longer than three weeks.
1565
1566Sin Cara, Daniel Bryan and Ezekiel Jackson beat Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase and Wade Barrett. They used the Sin Cara lighting for the match. Cara hit a springboard elbow and tagged Daniel Bryan. The heels worked over Bryan until he got the tag to Jackson. Jackson came in with shoulder blocks, the body slams and went for the torture rack. Jackson’s comeback got no reaction. Rhodes and DiBiase prevented the rack but Jackson sent them to the outside and pressed Bryan onto them on the floor. Jackson then tagged Cara and Cara used a springboard crossbody on Barrett for the win.
1567
1568After a break, Hornswoggle was shooting t-shirts out to the crowd. Memo to people shooting t-shirts to the crowd: if they come back from commercial and show you shooting the shirts live, run away immediately because something horrible is about to happen to you. R. Truth came out. He thought the t-shirt gun looked like fun and wanted to try it. Then he started to threaten John Cena and Hornswoggle so Hornswoggle shot him with the gun.
1569
1570Truth no sold the attack and grabbed Hornswoggle. Truth teased that he wouldn’t do anything but then kicked Hornswoggle in the head. Steve Austin on the screen said that Truth should pick on someone his own size and announced Truth vs. Morrison for later on Raw. Truth stomped Hornswoggle again for good measure. This was a good angle.
1571
1572Sheamus beat Santino. Santino avoided the razor’s edge and used a judo throw. He hit the cobra but Sheamus kicked out quickly with a knee to the head. He followed with the Brogue kick and then applied the Texas cloverleaf for the submission. Cloverleaf kind of fits with the Irish identity, although Texas doesn’t quite so much.
1573
1574Randy Orton came out and said it was good to be back on Raw. However, he said he wasn’t satisfied because Christian was in the building. He invited Christian to come out for a conversation. When Christian didn’t show up, Orton admitted he was lying and was looking to hurt Christian. Christian appeared on the screen and wanted to know why Orton is so angry when his whole career has been handed to him on a silver platter and Christian has had to fight for everything he has earned. The crowd reaction to Christian seemed to indicate a lot of people didn’t know he turned heel.
1575
1576Christian said he wouldn’t come out there. Orton responded by saying that it was too bad Edge wasn’t there to carry Christian to the ring like he carried Christian throughout his career. Christian teased like he would come out but of course he stopped at the stage and security came out to stop Orton from coming after him. The anonymous GM said although Steve Austin was in charge, Orton had a concussion and couldn’t compete. The GM told Orton to leave or be stripped of the title. Orton left and Austin announced Christian vs. Rey Mysterio.
1577
1578Rey Mysterio beat Christian via DQ. Coming back after a break, Christian was choking Mysterio in the ropes. He broke right at five and was disqualified. Yes, they did a DQ for not breaking a hold twice in the same show. And the second finish managed to be even more dreadful than the first.
1579
1580Afterwards, Christian was going to hit a splash off the top rope. However, Mysterio got up and stopped him. Mysterio was going to give Christian a top rope splash but CM Punk ran out. Mysterio took him out but then like an idiot went back into the ring to stare at Punk with his back turned to Christian. Christian tried to take advantage with the kill switch but Mysterio got out and knocked the members of Nexus off the apron.
1581
1582Mysterio went for the 619 on Christian but was caught by Mason Ryan and sent into the post. Ryan threw Mysterio back into the ring. Mysterio was finally beat up enough for the title challenger to do something against him, and Christian gave Mysterio the kill switch. This segment did nothing for Christian going into the pay-per-view.
1583
1584Backstage, Steve Austin was on the phone. Vickie Guerrero screamed at him to get his attention. She then asked Austin to give Dolph Ziggler a US title match on Sunday. Austin said he would make the match but only if Ziggler dropped Guerrero as his manager. After much delay, Ziggler said he would drop her. Guerrero was furious but Austin then said he was just having fun with them and he already made the match earlier in the day. This was an amusing segment.
1585
1586The match between R. Truth and John Morrison didn’t take place. Morrison didn’t come out when his music played. Truth went backstage and found Morrison selling his neck on the ground. Obviously, the idea was Truth attacked him before the match and Truth kind of implied that. Truth slammed a heavy container into Morrison, which looked good.
1587
1588Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne beat Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger. The heels worked over Kingston. Kingston got the tag to Bourne. Bourne used a head scissors, double knee to the face and high knee on Swagger. Swagger applied the ankle lock but Bourne escaped. Kingston gave Swagger trouble in paradise and Bourne hit the shooting star press for the win.
1589
1590Piper’s Pit began with Roddy Piper bringing up his boxing match with Mr. T at WrestleMania 2 in Long Island. Miz came out and said people tell him he’s the next Roddy Piper. Piper said there will never be another Piper and Miz is just a Piper wannabe. Miz retorted that he’s not like Piper at all. He noted he has been WWE champion and Piper hasn’t. In fairness, if Piper were around now he’d be a 14 time champion.
1591
1592Miz said his time on the Real World was much better than They Live. Piper said he never saw the Real World and introduced Alex Riley. Riley said he decided to stop helping Miz when he realized he could beat Miz. Miz pointed out that he fired Riley. Piper did this silly, dated routine about Riley changing the questions on Sunday.
1593
1594Miz suggested Piper bet with him on the result of the Riley-Miz match. Riley said Piper could beat Miz on Raw. Miz said he would put up $1,000 against Piper. What is this, 1972? Piper suggested $5,000. Austin on the screen then made the match with $5,000 on the line and Alex Riley as referee. Hold up. That fundamentally changes the previous agreement. Miz really ought not to be on the hook for that bet.
1595
1596Roddy Piper beat Miz. Miz beat up Piper early. Alex Riley tried to stop him. Riley and Miz traded punches. Piper then rolled up Miz and Riley used a fast count for the fall. This was yet another crap finish.
1597
1598Kelly Kelly, A.J., Eve Torres, Natalya, Beth Phoenix and Kaitlyn beat Maryse, Alicia Fox, Melina, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes and Tamina. It started with Kelly and Brie. Brie immediately tagged Rosa. Kelly hit a Thesz press, stinkface and bulldog. She went to cover but Brie broke up the pin. A neatly organized brawl ensued with everyone leaving the ring in about 10 seconds. Kelly then hit the famouser on Rosa for the win. So, in summation, they booked a 14 person match that lasted one minute with only two people actually wrestling. The faces celebrated their win by doing the Rockettes thing to no audience reaction.
1599
1600Backstage, Steve Austin was talking with Andy Leavine. CM Punk came in and Austin offered Punk a beer. They argued briefly. Punk thanked Austin for the match with John Cena later and said Austin set something in motion that will change the WWE landscape forever. Austin noted that Nexus will not be allowed at ringside.
1601
1602Steve Austin came out to the ring. The anonymous GM told Austin he did a good job but the anonymous GM will be back next week. Austin said he was still the GM for this week and announced next week will be another three hour show with the fans selecting the matches and stipulations.
1603
1604They blinked the lights and made the sound to indicate another e-mail from the GM. Only, the camera was right behind Michael Cole so you could see the screen remaining exactly the same as the lights blinked to signal a new message and Cole prepared to read off this unchanged screen. The e-mail sound kept going off. This made Austin mad so Michael Cole ran away into the crowd. The sound kept going out over the arena speakers even after Austin unplugged the computer. Austin poured beer over the computer and ran it over with the ATV.
1605
1606This week’s WWE did you know announced that last night on USA, over 10 million viewers watched Tough Enough and Raw. That must have been quite the Sunday night lineup. The announcers quickly explained that it meant last week. If you add up Raw, Tough Enough and the Tough Enough replay last week and count each viewer on each show as entirely separate, you get almost 9.5 million viewers. So that’s basically true if you have very low standards for what constitutes truth.
1607
1608CM Punk beat John Cena. Punk worked over Cena for a little while. As Cena was making his comeback, R. Truth came out through the crowd and was harassing a child. Cena was distracted and Punk hit the GTS for the win. Truth gave Cena the leaping downward spiral after the match. This completed the night’s theme of awful finishes.
1609
1610Final Thoughts:
1611
1612For the second straight week, WWE presented a terribly booked edition of Raw. Particularly striking is the WWE’s continued infatuation with terrible finishes. Every week they deliver one terrible finish after another, and somehow this is supposed to make you spend $50 on Sunday to see who wins additional matches. Instead, it teaches the audience that matches don’t matter, they don’t settle anything, and you’re not going to see feuds settled satisfactorily.
1613
1614There are a bunch of factors for WWE’s long term pay-per-view decline, but these incessant horrendous finishes are right at the top of the list. Look at the people who draw on pay-per-view and the ratio of fuck finishes on their shows relative to the people who don’t. And at some point you ought to have the basic sense to recognize that match results have to matter again. People aren’t going to spend $50 for a show that resolves nothing and means nothing.
1615
1616This is not that hard. The wrestlers in the top matches decisively win a series of matches and then they face each other on pay-per-view to settle who the best is. This isn’t rocket science. It is in fact exceedingly simple and is how wrestling has basically always been done. The whole point of protecting wrestlers with screw job finishes is so the losers can draw better in the future, but the point is completely moot because nobody in WWE is drawing.
1617
1618We get a seemingly endless string of distraction finishes, interference finishes, count outs, disqualifications and assorted other bullshit. Then the pay-per-view comes, shock of all shocks nobody orders, and we’re told pay-per-view is a dying business. No, it’s not. But you have to actually give people a reason to spend their money and this incessant nonsense does not accomplish that goal in the slightest.
1619POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 10:36 PM 5 COMMENTS
1620MONDAY, JUNE 06, 2011
1621WWE Raw Report
1622Date: 06/06/11 from Richmond, VA.
1623
1624The Big News: Steve Austin announced Andy Leavine as the winner of Tough Enough at the beginning of Raw and stuck around for more action.
1625
1626Show Analysis:
1627
1628Raw started with the conclusion of Tough Enough in the Raw ring. The show was built around making you want to see Andy Leavine win over Luke Robinson and all the coaches said they thought Andy should win. The announcers put over Andy’s “it factor” and charisma, which I never saw watching every episode of the show. In a positive sign, the crowd reacted to the wrestlers based on how they came across on the show, as opposed to the NXT crowds where it’s often clear only a fraction of the audience knows who anybody is.
1629
1630Unfortunately, Andy couldn’t grasp the simple psychology that he was the good guy against the arrogant heel Luke, and diminished his crowd reactions throughout by acting cocky and aggressive himself when questioned by Steve Austin rather than just acting like the humble, nice family guy they were trying to portray him as. Vince McMahon came out and was going to announce the winner, but Austin said it’s his show and he would pick the winner. He announced Andy as the winner.
1631
1632Vince proceeded to slapped Andy and Andy took this huge bump and sold like he was shot based on this slap from a 65-year-old man. And for good measure, Austin gave Andy the stunner. You know, if I spent 10 weeks on a competition theoretically designed to create new stars, I wouldn’t bury the winner at the end in front of the largest audience he has ever appeared before. Oh well, it’s not like Andy showed much beyond being the tallest of the group.
1633
1634With Vince and Austin still in the ring, R. Truth came out dressed in a confederate army uniform. Part of Truth’s charm as a heel is his zaniness, but if you want him to be a headliner it would be unwise to turn him into a clown. Truth said the GM ordered him to apologize so he apologized to big jimmy, little jimmy and the soda. Austin said he should apologize for his attire.
1635
1636Truth said that he was in Richmond, the capital of the confederacy. Truth said the confederacy had a good idea, secession. He said he is seceding from WWE because there is a companywide conspiracy against him. Vince told some jokes and said Truth should come talk with him about it. Truth did a gag where he can’t spell, even phonetically. It’s funny who tends to have these sorts of jokes written for them in WWE and who doesn’t.
1637
1638Miz interrupted the scene. He said that if it wasn’t for Alex Riley, he would still be WWE champion. Miz said he deserves one last title shot. Alex Riley came out and said Miz deserves another beatdown instead. John Cena joined them and told some joke. He said Miz doesn’t deserve another shot, commended Riley for beating up Miz, and suggested Truth take off the outfit. The GM sent in an e-mail but Vince told Michael Cole to shut up. Vince then made Cena and Riley vs. Truth and Miz with Steve Austin as special guest referee. That’s the third special referee main event on Raw or Smackdown in the past two weeks. This opening segment was a debacle on a variety of levels.
1639
1640Santino Marella beat Michael McGillicutty. Santino clotheslined McGillicutty from the ring and proceeded to shake the ropes and do Ultimate Warrior mannerisms. McGillicutty brushed aside a dropkick attempt and hit a dropkick of his own. He took over for a bit before Santino came back and did more Warrior mannerisms. He set up for the cobra but David Otunga pulled McGillicutty out of the ring. Vladimir Kozlov took out Otunga. Back in the ring, McGillicutty couldn’t hit his neck breaker and Santino used the cobra for the win. So it looks like McGillicutty and Otunga vs. Marella and Kozlov is the next tag title program.
1641
1642Beth Phoenix and Kelly Kelly beat the Bellas. Kelly hit a huracanrana but was caught with a stun gun and the Bellas gained control. After a bit, Kelly got the tag to Beth. Beth hit clotheslines, an inverted atomic drop, a slingshot suplex and the glam slam for the win. Beth got an encouraging positive reaction for someone that hasn’t been on Raw or Smackdown a lot recently.
1643
1644Backstage, Booker T was teaching Trish Stratus to do the spin-a-roonie. Interestingly, it involves channeling power from your hand more than leg and hip dexterity. Jack Swagger interrupted and said that if he was the Tough Enough trainer, all of the students would be winners. He challenged Booker to a match and Booker accepted.
1645
1646Rey Mysterio beat CM Punk. Prior to the match, Punk pointed out he beat Mysterio again last week and claimed Mysterio has never beaten him. The announcers later pointed out that wasn’t true. Punk said he’d beat Mysterio again to prove the power of the new Nexus. Punk went after Mysterio’s back. Mysterio came back with punches, kicks and a crossbody but was cut off with a powerslam. Mysterio took out Mason Ryan on the apron, hit a DDT, and hit a splash off the top for the win. WWE has become heavily reliant on circular booking, but this was particularly striking in that regard.
1647
1648They aired a new Capitol Punishment video with R. Truth posing questions for President Obama. Backstage, John Cena met with Alex Riley and made it clear he doesn’t trust Riley. They are billing next Monday’s three hour Raw as All Star Night.
1649
1650Alberto Del Rio came out and reiterated that what happened to Big Show was an accident. He invited Show to come out for an apology. Ricardo Rodriguez came out dressed up like Show with a big fake belly and crutches. Del Rio said Show got what he deserved because bad things happen to bad people and they did some crappy comedy. Del Rio told Show not to make Del Rio his enemy. This segment sucked.
1651
1652Kofi Kingston beat Zack Ryder. Dolph Ziggler was on commentary to build his feud with Kingston. Kingston hit a dropkick and Ryder responded by chestbumping and piefacing him. Ryder hit a neck breaker and kick to the face. However, Kingston responded with a clothesline, boom drop and trouble in paradise for the win. Poor Zack.
1653
1654Booker T beat Jack Swagger via count out. They mostly just traded chops and punches back and forth. Booker hit a kick and Swagger just took the count out. That was an awful finish. The heel walking off can be okay sometimes if it’s a champion in trouble trying to save his title or there’s a big feud and it sells the face is out of control looking for revenge, but a wrestler just giving up on a match with an announcer three minutes in buries him with absolutely no positive benefit whatsoever.
1655
1656Afterwards, Evan Bourne attacked Swagger from behind and ran away. Swagger chased after Bourne and was caught with a Booker T ax kick and Bourne shooting star press. They did a double spin-a-roonie that looked good.
1657
1658R. Truth and Miz beat John Cena and Alex Riley via disqualification. Miz ran away from Riley until Truth cut off Riley. The heels took over until Riley finally made the tag. Cena came in with shoulder blocks, the Cena slam and the five knuckle on Miz. He went for the FU but Truth made the save. Cena threw Truth out of the ring and put the STF on Miz. Miz got to the ropes. Truth brought in a chair but Cena dropkicked it into Truth. Riley brought in the briefcase and teased hitting Cena with it for no apparent reason before then hitting Miz instead. Austin gave Miz the stunner and Cena covered for the win.
1659
1660The GM then announced Cena and Riley were disqualified for Austin’s actions. Another big win for Truth over Cena. The GM then announced that because of what Austin did, Austin will be guest GM next week. So apparently the GM is bipolar. Austin then attacked Michael Cole, poured beer on him, and stunned him.
1661
1662Final Thoughts:
1663
1664This show sucked on just about every level.
1665POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:10 PM 5 COMMENTS
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1799 
1800
1801~~
1802
1803
1804SMASHMOUTH DRIVING
1805TUESDAY, MAY 30, 2006
1806UFC Thoughts
1807I thought it was overall a good show. It wasn't one of UFC's best, but it had enough fun stuff to go around. Spencer Fischer vs. Matt Wiman was one of the best fights I've seen so far this year. Just a really fun spectacle with near finishes, a huge reversal, trash talking and a spectacular finish. The Melvin Guillard knockout was also spectacular, but his opponent was so obviously unworthy of being there that it took away some of the fun because it didn't really reflect much to me. I need to watch Gonzaga-Scherner again, as I was apparently the only one watching this show to think the stoppage was premature. Scherner was gassed no doubt, but it didn't seem he was unable to defend himself and he was going for a shoot when it was called. But given nobody seems to think this, I evidently need to watch this again. Perhaps people were just eager to see him out of there. Horn-Sonnen was a good enough battle that went just as expecting, Sonnen punching from the top and Horn attempting submissions. He finally caught him with a slick triangle into an armbar. I love that move, because it's "gotcha!" but doesn't feel fluky like a guillotine. Speaking of which, the next two fights of course ended by guillotines. Still, it featured the guy I wanted to see go over winning, so I can't complain. Brandon Vera and Mike Swick both have a world of potential. Diego Sanchez vs. John Alessio was great. I took way too much perverse pleasure in it. After about the third stuffed takedown in the first round, I said to Ben Miller that if this ended up as a boring three round decision, it would be totally worth it if it ended in Diego getting booed out of the building. And that's exactly what happened. The crowd really liked Diego as he came out, but then he started acting like a total jackass prancing to the octagon and you could feel the cheers diminishing as we watching this guy acting like a total buffoon. And by the end the crowd hated him. I can't really say why, because he was aggressive throughout the fight and it was Alessio that wouldn't engage all that much. Maybe there were more people than I thought like me, just waiting to boo him. I gave the fight 29-28 Alessio, but I can understand even the 30-27 Sanchez. Only clear round was the last for Sanchez, and I think you can justify the first or second for Diego. Both guys clearly did enough to lose. And of course the fight also had the weird koala position for 3 minutes which was another highlight. This will go down as one of those great perverse MMA fights that I joke about with my friends, like the toe stomping Marco Ruas fight or the Krazy Horse match where he used the ropes for leverage on a drop kick, or the time Matt Lindland knocked himself out. I blamed Sakara for his loss more than Lister. I thought he could have avoided going to the ground in the first place, and he clearly had an opportunity to leave the guard but instead dove back in. So if you're stupid enough to go to the ground with Lister when you are a boxer, you deserve to be submitted. I'll be more impressed when Lister does it against someone with a better gameplan. This reminded me of Mir-Sylvia. And the main event was also a spectacle. Watching Royce get all that love coming to the ring made me sad, because I knew he was going to get killed. I didn't really want to see the fight at that point, and wished they could have called it out. Still, Royce seemed okay about the whole thing and he got a nice payday, so I guess it's alright in the end. Will I make it three UFCs in a row with UFC 61? Stay tuned...
1808POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:42 AM 2 COMMENTS
1809MONDAY, MAY 29, 2006
1810Raw Report
1811WWE Raw Report
1812
1813By: Todd Martin
1814Email: MartinT2007@lawnet.ucla.edu
1815Blog: toddwmartin.blogspot.com
1816
1817Date: 05/29/06 from Tacoma, WA.
1818
1819The Big News: Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle will be joining ECW, Edge earned a title shot at Vengeance, Vince McMahon continued to torture Triple H and Kane attacked Kane.
1820
1821Title Changes/Turns: None.
1822
1823Match Results: Shelton Benjamin NC Kane; Umaga b Viscera; Torrie Wilson & Beth Phoenix b Candice Michelle & Victoria; John Cena b Johnny Nitro; Edge b Big Show; Triple H b Kenny Doane.
1824
1825Show Analysis:
1826
1827The show started with a boring, pointless segment that was reminiscent of that period when every show began with a boring 20 minute promo. Vince McMahon came out and basically said nothing. He recounted the past few weeks’ events. He then said he wouldn’t announce a General Manager as promised, but that he did have an executive assistant, Jonathan Coachman.
1828
1829Coach announced John Cena against someone he hasn’t faced, a number one contender match for Vengeance with Big Show vs. Edge and a Shelton Benjamin title defense against Kane. The non-announcement of a GM brings the trend of blatant bait and switch false advertising of something major to three of four weeks. It’s like they’re doing it just because they can and it’s so disrespectful to the audience.
1830
1831Shelton Benjamin and Kane battled to a no contest. Benjamin sent Kane into the post and applied the dreaded rest hold. Kane came back with a big boot, clothesline, side slam, and clothesline off the top. He went for the choke slam but Benjamin reversed, rolled up Kane and grabbed the ropes for a near fall. Kane then went for the tombstone, but that was reversed into a DDT. Benjamin hit the stinger splash, but when he went for a second Kane caught him with the choke slam.
1832
1833At that point the voices came again, and someone came out to Kane’s old music with a mask. He was a little bigger than Kane, but clearly had implants in his shoes. He didn’t look intimidating because he was less muscular than Kane was in that outfit, and he had weird hair. Faux Kane choke slammed Kane. This is great. If there’s one angle that needed to be recreated, it was Undertaker vs. Undertaker. That worked so well the first time. I also like the fact they treated Benjamin and his title as a total afterthought. That jobber needs some burying.
1834
1835Coach backstage was looking for HHH. Armando offered his assistance on anything Coach needs. Viscera then confronted Armando, and said he was out for revenge on Umaga. Armando found this amusing. Elsewhere, HHH wasn’t sure if Vince was angry at him by not putting him in the number one contender match. HHH said he has done everything Vince asked, and he took out the Squad simply because they got in his way. Vince made HHH vs. Kenny a lumberjack match with the Squad at ringside.
1836
1837Umaga beat Viscera. As Viscera came to the ring, Umaga gave him the downward spiral on the ramp. He hit a splash off the top and the Samoan spike for the pin. Lillian appears to like Viscera again, which is just ridiculous. It never made sense why she would like this obese, sleazy molester in the first place, and then he laughed at her marriage proposal on national television and left with some prostitutes instead. But apparently “my bad” was enough to set things straight. Umaga is quickly growing on me. Watching him destroy people is fun.
1838
1839Torrie Wilson and Beth Phoenix, accompanied by Trish Stratus, beat Candice Michelle and Victoria, accompanied by Mickie James. Victoria and Beth traded punches. Beth hit a side slam (which Jim Ross really needs to stop calling a sidewalk slam) on Victoria. Torrie gave Victoria the stink face. Victoria gained control and tagged Candice. She hit a splash and elbow, but Victoria missed a leg drop and Beth got the tag. Beth came in with clotheslines, a gut wrench suplex and a Michinoku driver for the pin.
1840
1841John Cena beat the debuting Johnny Nitro, along with Melina. This was pretty much a squash, with the five knuckle shuffle, FU and STFU. I don’t see the wisdom of punishing people on air, and this wasn’t a good way to debut a new character on the show. Rob Van Dam did commentary during the match. Jerry Lawler was ridiculing ECW, including Tazz, who he called a Lawler wannabe. That brought out RVD, who argued with Lawler. The irony is they were allies when Lawler went to ECW. RVD didn’t frame ECW very well, as he basically just presented it as hardcore wrestling.
1842
1843Mick Foley and Paul Heyman had a debate, which reminded me of a Heyman/Lawler debate on Raw almost ten years ago. Foley said he is guilty of being a prostitute, like everyone in WWE who compromises to get to the top. Foley said the difference is he traded a low-rent pimp like Heyman for the billionaire pimp McMahon. He said he is annoyed that Tommy Dreamer and Terry Funk are labeled hardcore after what Edge and Foley did at WrestleMania.
1844
1845He called the ECW locker room a bunch of rip-offs, and Heyman responded that he is a Terry Funk rip-off. Foley said Funk was the greatest wrestler he ever saw and Dreamer has a lot of heart, but they don’t the guts he does. Heyman said derisively they didn’t have the guts to wear the sock. Heyman asked how many shots Foley got at the WWE title before he pulled the sock out of his pants. That’s not a great point, Paul, given Foley had title programs with Shawn Michaels, Undertaker and Steve Austin before Mr. Socko.
1846
1847Foley said Dreamer and Funk didn’t have the guts to show what they had outside their comfort zone and on a bigger stage like he did. That’s an odd claim given both went to WWE after their ECW runs, and Funk also went to WCW and held the NWA World Heavyweight Championship. In any event, Foley said Heyman resents him because he made it big outside of ECW. Heyman said he doesn’t resent Foley at all, but rather what Foley has become. He said Foley threw away his legacy. Heyman said Dreamer and Funk will live up to the standards of ECW and the Edge-Foley Mania match.
1848
1849Heyman said there is a new vision for ECW. It was about time this point was made, because ECW will succeed or fail based on its progressive vision, not its regressive vision. Heyman said all the old good stuff will be there, but there will be a lot more. He said anyone can jump to ECW from Raw or Smackdown, plus Heyman has two draft picks.
1850
1851RVD is his Raw draft pick, which is weird given RVD presumably would jump freely. He then introduced his Smackdown draft pick, Kurt Angle. Angle beat the hell out of Foley and gave him the Angle slam. That was kind of weird, given his natural role at least at first in ECW is as a heel given his history there.
1852
1853Edge beat Big Show to become number one contender. Show hit chops early, stood on Edge, delivered a head butt, executed snake eyes, and threw Edge off the top. Edge came back with a drop toe hold into the turnbuckle and a DDT. He went for a spear but Show grabbed him by the throat. Edge grabbed the referee to stop this, and brought a chair into the ring. Show knocked it away and went for the choke slam again, but Lita gave him a low blow. He went after Lita, at which point Edge hit him with a chair and gave him the spear for the pin. Edge should have been booked stronger here. Yes, Show is big. But in 2006 he doesn’t have one twentieth Edge’s potential as a headliner.
1854
1855HHH beat Kenny in a lumberjack match. This was a typical Spirit Squad match, with constant interference, but HHH beat them all anyway. Interference kept him subdued for most of the match, but HHH came back by crotching Kenny, and hitting a spine buster. He went for the pedigree, but had to fight off the entire Squad. So he did, and then hit the pedigree for the pin. The Squad all jumped HHH after the match and went after his leg, but he got a sledgehammer and ran them off. Jesus being booked like Jesus makes a lot more sense if he is supposed to be the face, and joking aside I had no problem with this at all. Vince McMahon then came out and said next week he has a challenge for HHH, to join the kiss my ass club.
1856
1857Final Thoughts:
1858
1859This was one of those Raw shows that are entertaining and eventful, but more counter-productive than productive as far as the direction of the promotion. Vince McMahon badly needs to give up his position as top heel. The act was stale when Clinton was still President. Edge or John Cena should have that position.
1860POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 8:26 PM 8 COMMENTS
1861THURSDAY, MAY 25, 2006
1862UFC 60
1863Well, I just got my tickets. My patience paid off, as I was able to get a pair of $600 tickets for $415 total. It's about the same as I paid for UFC 59, and a bit farther back, but you have to feel good about paying a third of face. I'm in section 115. Quick thoughts on the card:
1864
1865Matt Hughes vs. Royce Gracie: I just watched the special, and I guess I'm in the distinct minroity, because it made me less interested in the fight. I already knew all the backstory. The only thing the special convinced me of is that Hughes will try to keep it standing. I don't see how Gracie will be able to take him down, which could make for a boring sub-par striking match. That would be a real letdown. I would be shocked if Gracie won this fight. Granted, I didn't give Sylvia a shot last month, but this one seems pretty damn clear to me. Hughes is just at a different level than Gracie. I hope it makes for a fun spectacle.
1866
1867Assuerio Silva vs. Brandon Vera: I think Vera's being overrated by some. I want the guy to do well. He's entertaining and marketable. But he hasn't beaten too many fighters of note, and he's giving up a lot of weight here. I favor the underdog Silva pretty heavily.
1868
1869Joe Riggs vs. Mike Swick: This should be a fun brawl, and quite possibly the fight of the night. I'm not a huge fan of Riggs, but this is the best matchup for him since he's come to UFC. I like him to win by KO, but I wouldn't be at all surprised to see Swick win either.
1870
1871Dean Lister vs. Alessio Sakara: UFC might end up regretting making this the swing bout. Lister has a knack for having boring fights, and he is going to be doing everything he can to avoid engaging with Sakara standing. I see Sakara winning a decision, but not a lot happening in the fight. I hope I'm wrong. Just seems a bad style matchup. It will be fun to see Sakara's hand speed.
1872
1873Diego Sanchez vs. John Alessio: Sanchez will be exposed. Mark my words. But this isn't the fight it's happening. Diego via TKO or sub round 1 or 2.
1874
1875Jeremy Horn vs. Chael Sonnen: They really don't want Sonnen to succeed in UFC, because they keep giving him really tough opponents. He's a quality fighter, but this is made for a Horn win, and I expect that to happen via submission.
1876POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 7:24 PM 5 COMMENTS
1877MONDAY, MAY 22, 2006
1878Raw Report
1879Date: 05/22/06 from Las Vegas, NV.
1880
1881The Big News: Triple H may have finally broken with Vince McMahon and turned face. Or maybe not. Also, Paul Heyman made his return to WWE television.
1882
1883Title Changes/Turns: I don’t think HHH is a full-fledged face yet, but he is close.
1884
1885Match Results: Shelton Benjamin b Rob Van Dam-DQ; John Cena b Chris Masters; Kane b Trevor Murdoch; Mickie James b Torrie Wilson; Shawn Michaels NC Kenny Doane, Mikey Mondo, Nicky Nemeth, Johnny Jeter & Mitch Mitch.
1886
1887Show Analysis:
1888
1889At the onset of the show, Vince McMahon said that he is sure what HHH did was an accident, but he would demand an apology anyway. He added that if he didn’t receive a sincere apology, there would be immediate retaliation. This was so 1998 Steve Austin.
1890
1891Mick Foley came out in a suit. He thanked the fans for their continuing support, in spite of a few misunderstandings. He hilariously explained, “I am not a bad guy. It is okay to cheer me. Parents, tell the kids boos are not really necessary. I’m a lovely guy.” After this, mentioning Las Vegas got a cheap pop, but he then turned on the crowd by saying it isn’t nice to be in Las Vegas. Basically, Vegas has a bunch of people looking to change their lives with a roll of the dice, when it is better to earn your accomplishments like Foley.
1892
1893He introduced Edge, and wanted to present Edge with the old WWE Hardcore Title. Edge said he couldn’t accept the title, because Foley had to toil in Bingo Halls for so many years while he was disrespected by people like Ric Flair. Edge said Foley deserves to be the hardcore champion. Foley pointed out the irony of Flair working in a ladder match this year at WrestleMania after all his stunt man remarks. Foley said both he and Edge wanted to be hardcore champion, so they should resolve it with a match in Las Vegas. Shockingly, there were actually people gullible enough to buy this as a possibility. Edge and Foley instead decided they would be co-holders of the hardcore title.
1894
1895Paul Heyman came out, and got a nice reaction. He talked about a prostitute being in the ring, but meant Foley, not Lita. Heyman said that Foley prostitutes his family’s love for Edge and Lita, but he won’t prostitute the name of hardcore. He called Foley a shell of his former self. Foley’s facial reaction was great. Foley said he is the co-holder of the WWE Hardcore Title, a WWE superstar, real life action figure, and book writer. He said that Heyman is the one who has nothing left. He’s not GM of Smackdown, doesn’t own his company, and has no power.
1896
1897Heyman said he does have the power to issue a tag challenge for One Night Stand. Foley refused. Heyman laughed, and said Lita was the only one in the ring with any nuts. Foley and Edge went after Heyman, but Heyman introduced Funk and Dreamer as their opponents for One Night Stand. Funk and Dreamer brought weapons and ran Edge and Foley off. All participants involved did a very good job here, but there seemed to be something missing. A big part of the problem is nobody buys Funk and Dreamer as threats to Edge and Foley.
1898
1899Shelton Benjamin beat Rob Van Dam via disqualification in an Intercontinental Title match. RVD dominated early with kicks, but Benjamin turned it around by dropping him on the turnbuckle. Benjamin tried to neutralize RVD with holds, but RVD kept coming back with kicks. Eventually he hit a standing moonsault and Rolling Thunder, but there was a referee bump. Scorpio Sky ran out. Sorry. Reflexive response. Benjamin brought the belt into the ring, and RVD kicked it into his face right as the referee was recovering. The referee called for a DQ. RVD seemed to be going for more, but he was really sloppy. It’s going to take him time to get back to his ECW style if he is allowed to do that.
1900
1901Vince McMahon came to the ring, and alluded to making Shawn Michaels’ life a living hell. He made some threats and asked for two words from Triple H. Triple H came out and said he had two words for Vince. They teased it out, but his words were “I’m sorry.” Vince accepted the apology, provided HHH come out and hit Michaels with a sledgehammer on his command after the main event. HHH said they had an understanding, and they shook hands.
1902
1903Kane was interviewed. He said that May 19 was the date that his mother was killed in a fire, and he has fought many years to suppress those memories. But, those days have passed, his movie is out, and he gets to inflict pain and punishment on his opponents. So he’s never been happier. That’s comforting.
1904
1905John Cena beat Chris Masters with the STFU in a title match. Afterwards, Rob Van Dam came out. He said he will be using his Money in the Bank title shot at One Night Stand, where he will be more comfortable. RVD and Cena then got into a fight. Cena was getting the best of it until Masters ran in, and RVD took the opportunity to “hit” the worst Van Daminator ever with the briefcase.
1906
1907Backstage, Carlito and Maria were off to play some cards. They ran into Gene Snitsky, who had hired an escort. He approached Goldust, and somehow concluded that because Goldust was dressed in showgirl attire, it must be a showgirl and not a large, overweight man in showgirl attire. Snitsky was enamored with Goldust’s feet, which troubled Goldust, who was just chilling in women’s clothing. Carlito didn’t find this cool. Maria added that it wasn’t funny. No, wait, that was me. Elsewhere, Shawn Michaels was pissed off at HHH for apologizing to Vince. Michaels called him a sellout.
1908
1909Kane defeated Trevor Murdoch with the choke slam. Murdoch talked trash about See No Evil before the match. Afterwards a video played saying that “this will never be over.” Kane acted confused. Perhaps it will turn out that Kane hasn’t been having episodes this whole time, but rather that someone is screwing with his head. I like that angle much better anyway, as long as it isn’t DDP.
1910
1911They aired a flashback for 24/7 which focused on the NWO. It was a fun little package. That would make a great DVD collection. WWE has done spotlights on a lot of the key angles in the Monday Night War and NWO DVDs, but it would be fun to just have all the NWO angles from 1996 put together in a DVD set. It was an exciting period.
1912
1913Mickie James beat Torrie Wilson with the implant DDT. This came precariously close to completely falling apart. Trish announced after the match that Beth Phoenix is the newest Raw Diva. She attacked Mickie from behind, and Mickie ran off with her title into the crowd.
1914
1915Viscera came out and said he had big news. He said that he realized it is time for him to settle down, and invited Lillian into the ring. Lillian pointed out the last time they were in Vegas he dumped her for ho’s. Viscera said that was his bad and apologized. He then took out a cheeseburger and said if they got married she could cook for him. He said he was hungry and horny and asked Lillian to marry her.
1916
1917Of course, if you were looking at your clock during this segment, you knew what was coming. Armando showed up, and was particularly great this week in introducing Umaga. The whole act works much better when the entrance is unexpected, and all of a sudden you have got Umaga charging towards the ring to destroy somebody the fans like. Or in this case Viscera. Umaga just obliterated him, climaxing with the spike. They should have let Lillian get back Viscera for being a general creep to her.
1918
1919Spirit Squad and Shawn Michaels had what was labeled a match by Jim Ross, but didn’t really have any elements of a wrestling match. Vince McMahon ordered the referee to leave, and the Squad gave Michaels an extended beat down. They gave him High Spirits. Shawn Michaels made a comeback when they brought a chair into the ring. He went to town with the chair, hit the elbow off the top, and hit sweet chin music twice. He went for a third, but he got hit in the leg with a chair, which was an awesome spot.
1920
1921They tore up Michaels’ pants and went after his knee. The fans were chanting for HHH. They put Michaels’ leg in the chair and Kenny came off the top with the knee. Vince called for HHH, who went to the ring with the sledgehammer. The fans chanted DX. Kenny took the sledgehammer from HHH and wanted to use it, but HHH stopped him and fought off the Spirit Squad. This was a great beat down as far as getting heat on the Squad and Vince and sympathy for Vince. However, if this was intended to be a key point in a HHH face turn, it went on too long. It’s hard to like a guy who would let Michaels get so completely obliterated for such a long time.
1922
1923Final Thoughts:
1924
1925This show was laid out really well. I don’t know if I’m all that excited about the places they are planning to go, but they are doing a good job with traditional wrestling build. One thing I have liked about recent editions of Raw is that they are doing a better job protecting wrestlers that have significant upside. That may not pay off in the short term, but it is good for the long term development of younger wrestlers who haven’t reached the top of their career trajectory yet.
1926POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 10:44 PM 6 COMMENTS
1927SUNDAY, MAY 21, 2006
1928PWG 5/21 Results
1929I'm going to get heat for this one...
1930
19311. Hook Bomberry and Bino Gambino beat Alex Koslov and Ronin when Hook pinned Ronin with a rollup.
1932
19332. Scorpio Sky defeated Human Tornado with a brain buster.
1934
19353. Kevin Steen beat Austin Aries with the Steen pile driver. They played off of Aries’ Randy Savage look, with Steen doing some Hulk Hogan mannerisms. It was a fun little match.
1936
19374. Disco Machine and Nemesis beat Rocky Romero and TJ Perkins.
1938
19395. Chris Sabin beat Joey Ryan via disqualification, with basically a Dusty finish.
1940
1941At this point was intermission, and one thing I really liked about this show was that they decided to divide the card in two as far as vibe. The matches before intermission for the most part were light-hearted and comedy oriented. The matches after intermission were all more serious. That helped the show to build well, and made the later matches feel important. I hope they continue that trend.
1942
19436. Cape Fear beat Briscoe Brothers in a hot tag match with the reverse huracanrana and brainbuster. This got a standing ovation and chants of “please come back” for the Briscoes. Cape Fear delivers one of the best matches on just about every PWG show. This was a great match and the best on the show.
1944
19457. Bryan Danielson beat Claudio Castagnoli in some sort of bizarre experiment. Basically, Castagnoli put Danielson in a head lock for 15 minutes, with Danielson fighting to get out but never being able to escape. Finally he got out and rolled up Castagnoli for the pin seconds later. I really like Danielson, as in he is one of my favorite wrestlers in the world. I like his slower pacing, subtle psychology and technical wrestling. But this was just ridiculous. There was a portion of the crowd that turned on it. A portion of the crowd politely applauded, and probably would have applauded if both men took a nap in their respective corners as well. And another sizeable group, including myself, just didn’t react at all, because I didn’t feel like being rude to them but I didn’t want to encourage this nonsense either.
1946
19478. B-Boy beat Matt Sydal with a clothesline and Go to Sleep. It felt a little off early on, but picked up towards the finish.
1948
19499. Arrogance beat Davey Richards and Super Dragon to win the PWG Tag Titles after tons of interference and belt shots from Scorpio Sky and Joey Ryan. Sky, Ryan, Lost and Bosh are now a new heel group. Richards wants to win the singles title from Ryan. It was a good match until the finish, which I hated. PWG over the past six months has done real damage to its singles championship, because Joey Ryan wins via a screw job every single show. It gets the wrong kind of heat, and the title means nothing because the champion never beats anyone and just coasts along with one overbooked garbage finish after another.
1950
1951Luckily however, at the same time, the tag titles have been built up to really mean something. The title matches get great heat and Richards and Dragon have really elevated the titles by having great matches and finishes that establish they are the better team. I have been prepared to make a serious argument for them as one of the top tag teams of the year for the Observer Awards. They should be kept together, because what they were doing was working in a major way. Breaking them up to have one of them go after the singles title is backwards, because the tag titles mean more than the singles title right now. Moreover, if they had to be broken up, they should have lost in a match relatively cleanly to maintain the credibility that the tag titles had built up.
1952
1953Scott Lost and Chris Bosh have not won a two on two tag team match since June of last year, and they have lost plenty during that time period. They only won this match because of tons of interference, multiple belt shots and other assorted nonsense. If your titles don’t symbolize the best your promotion has to offer, nobody is going to care who wins in the title matches.
1954
1955PWG title matches feel like a countdown to this show’s screw job. That’s been tolerable because we still have the tag title matches, which feel like wars to determine the best tag team in the promotion. No longer. Now all the PWG titles have been decided by screw job, and symbolize nothing. This is unbelievably frustrating. If there was one thing in this entire promotion not to screw with, it was the tag titles. And they did just that.
1956POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 2:43 AM 0 COMMENTS
1957FRIDAY, MAY 19, 2006
1958I Am Not a Mute
1959I did a segment on the Fight Opinion audio show with Zach Arnold and Rob Sayers which you can check out here. It's a discussion of WFA, with IFL, UFC, Pride and the world of MMA in general thrown in. I fear I rambled too much, but I think there are some good opinions thrown in there as well. One thing I came to appreciate is how much harder it is to communicate verbally when you can't see the other people you're speaking with. It's harder to gauge if what you're saying makes sense to the other person, and also at times to get the heart of what they are saying.
1960
1961In any event, if you enjoy that show, you can find more Fight Opinion here. And if you don't regularly visit Puroresu Power, you should. Great resource for Japanese pro wrestling and general MMA, if not the best.
1962POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 10:12 AM 0 COMMENTS
1963THURSDAY, MAY 18, 2006
1964Da Vinci Code Getting Panned
1965It's surprising to see just how badly the Da Vinci Code is doing with reviews, given its interesting (if hard to adapt for the screen) source material, fine cast and generally competent director (Ron Howard isn't my favorite director, but he's a good enough director). I guess I won't be seeing it in the theater after all. Rotten Tomatoes has become such a great resource for me. I pretty much only see movies in theaters if they do well in Rotten Tomatoes. I wait for DVD for the rest, because there are very few good movies that get panned by the majority of critics. I don't like some movies that do well on Rotten Tomatoes, but there are very few movies that do poorly on Rotten Tomatoes that I end up thinking highly of. In fact, it's been so long that the last movie I can think of that I thought got an unfair shake on Rotten Tomatoes was A Love Song for Bobby Long, a touching little drama with the fabulous Scarlett Johansson. And that was released in 2004.
1966POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 12:48 PM 2 COMMENTS
1967Pride OWGP Next Round
1968I pretty much agree with Mike's picks for the next round. To me, there are only two brackets that make sense. You have to use Yoshida-Fujita to get a Japanese fighter into the next round. I know Pride seems to be teasing other matchups, but I think sense will take over and they'll make sure one of those two gets through. And it is an interesting matchup anyway. Then you have to go with Werdum-Barnett, because there isn't a "dream" match involving either of them that can be made (Werdum-Cro Cop would be intriguing because of their affiliation, but their affiliation makes that unfeasible). If you separate them, you end up with two matches with less interest rather than just one. And that leaves Cro Cop, Hunt, Nog and Silva. To me, there are two sets of matches there that are more interesting: Cro Cop-Hunt and Nog-Silva or Cro Cop-Silva and Nog-Hunt. Really either of those scenarios would be interesting. Cro Cop-Hunt and Cro Cop-Silva are both dream rematches which should be standing wars. I think the latter is more interesting because we saw the former recently and so much has changed since the first Cro Cop-Silva fight. Then the other side is either Nog-Silva or Nog-Hunt. On that end, I prefer Nog-Silva. Nog-Hunt feels so much like Nog-Sapp or Nog-Schilt. Nog-Silva would have a weird and different feel, as Nog does like to box and might feel his size and chin would be enough to keep it standing for a while. Plus Silva is fast and might be able to avoid the takedowns with his movement in a way Hunt couldn't do. So that makes it a bit of a tossup for the final two matches. Either way the next round should be a lot of fun. The one thing that bugs me about the tournament is I don't see Hunt getting all the way through, and I would have liked to see him maintain his winning streak going into his inevitable fight with Fedor, which will likely be an exciting war.
1969POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 12:35 PM 0 COMMENTS
1970WEDNESDAY, MAY 17, 2006
1971Doug Flutie in the HOF?
1972Excuse me? Is this a joke? Yes, the CFL is "professional football," as was so astutely pointed out by Mark Kreidler. But minor league baseball or hockey is also professional. Should we consider AHL statistics when evaluating Hall credentials in hockey? Doug Flutie is a very likeable character, for a variety of reasons: his history at BC, his size and underdog status, his work on autism and so forth. But he had his success in a minor league football league against minor league competition, and didn't do all that much in the NFL. Maybe he was underestimated based on his size and could have done more in the NFL. But he didn't. He is a painfully obvious "no."
1973POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 10:23 AM 8 COMMENTS
1974TUESDAY, MAY 16, 2006
1975Site Notes
1976A couple of things. First, I welcome everyone to post here, even if you don't post regularly. But I have a small request. If you want to post anonymously, cool. But give yourself a fake name or nickname so I can differentiate between the anonymous posts. There have been some excellent points made by people posting anonymously, and I'd like to be able to connect, "Oh, that was the guy that made argument X" for future reference.
1977
1978Second, if you're a friend of me or the site and you'd like me to add a link to your website, drop me an e-mail and I'll be happy to oblige.
1979POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 11:49 AM 2 COMMENTS
1980NFC East
1981Interesting article here trying to predict the order of finish in the NFC East this year. It's sort of a glamour division to begin with, so I think perhaps it is being overrated as far as just how strong it is, but it is no doubt a strong division. And it is really hard to call how the teams will finish. Here's my thinking:
1982
19831. Washington Redskins. Okay, note that as a Redskins fan, I feel almost obliged to feel optimistic about the upcoming season, so take this prediction with a grain of salt. But also note that I am not unrealistic about my teams, and I tend not to expect more out of them than they deliver. A lot of focus has been on the Redskins' offseason moves, with the common thinking being that they didn't add much given the amount of money they spent. I agree with that, but it is ultimately inconsequential to how they are going to do this year. The biggest acquisition in the offseason was easily Al Saunders, a top of the line offensive coordinator. The problem in recent seasons has been the offensive philosophies of the team. Steve Spurrier's system didn't work in the NFL, and Joe Gibbs' system hasn't caught up with the new NFL fast enough. Saunders will rectify that, and the talent level is high on the offensive side of the ball. They have a bunch of threats at receiver, an emerging tight end/H-Back in Chris Cooley, a strong offensive line anchored by Thomas, Samuels and Jansen, and a quality running back in Clinton Portis. Then on the other side of the ball you've got a great defensive system under Gregg Williams that keeps offenses off-balance and plays tough. The Redskins have a small window given their method of building a team, but this should be a very good year for them.
1984
19852. Dallas Cowboys. This is a team nobody is going to want to play, because they are going to have a nasty, nasty defense. They are deep with talent, from cover corners (Terence Newman) to pass rushers (DeMarcus Ware) to hard hitters (Roy Williams). I think under Parcells they are going to be one of the best defenses in the NFL this year. The problem is that this team is best suited to be a power running/defense oriented team. Their optimum formula for success is to pound the ball with Julius Jones and play defense. But they undermined that whole philosophy with the acquisition of Terrell Owens, who will cause more problems for the team than their opponents. I don't expect any major blow-up like in previous seasons, but I do expect grumbling and internal dissention when Owens doesn't get the ball as much as he wants. I don't think the Cowboys' best chance for success is going to the air with Drew Bledsoe, and I really think a Keyshawn Johnson type is a better fit for the system than Owens. The key to me is the beginning of the season. If they start strong, it will soothe potential tensions and make people buy into the team. If they start off poorly, things could deteriorate quickly, but I think they have too much talent to not at least be in most every game.
1986
19873. Philadelphia Eagles. Everything that could have gone wrong for the Eagles last year did. It was a nightmare of a season, and it has made a lot of people forget that they are a very well run organization that will likely not be down for long. That said, I think this season will prove to be a midway point between the awful year they had last year and a strong year in 2007. They build through the draft, but they have become a little arrogant in their willingness to let key players go in recent years. It's as if they can replace anybody, when the constant departures do hurt. The losses of Donovan McNabb, Terrell Owens and Michael Westbrook last year hurt the team greatly, but so did the offseason losses of Corey Simon and Derrick Burgess. This year Hollis Thomas is also gone, and there has been a real talent drain on both sides of the ball. Because the Eagles draft well they can make up for that, but I anticipate it's going to take another year for the Mike Pattersons, Reggie Browns, Brodrick Bunkleys and Winston Justices to develop. The Eagles will likely have a stronger second half than first half.
1988
19894. New York Giants. I can understand why people would pick the Giants high, because they probably have the most upside of any team in the division. The problem is they also have the biggest downside, and I just don't see all their key players making it through the season. I like Michael Strahan a lot, and he has always been durable, but he is getting up there in age and his production is down. Given he has been the strength of the defense for a long time now, having him perform under expectations or get hurt will really affect the team, like it did in 2004. I love LaVar Arrington, but I have no idea if he is going to be able to make it through 16 games and be the player he once was. Tiki Barber is a small, older running back who has been carrying the ball a ton in recent years. That spells disaster, if not this year then next year. And then you've got Eli Manning at quarterback, a very young kid who seemed to regress as last season went on. If Strahan and Barber and Arrington are able to stay healthy and productive, and Eli takes the next step, they will be very good. But those are too many pivotal question marks for me.
1990POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 11:10 AM 1 COMMENTS
1991MONDAY, MAY 15, 2006
1992See No Evil
1993The business on this movie will be interesting to see. This has been marketed everywhere, and with very little to no reference to the fact it is a WWE film. The key to business will be if people figure it out in time for the weekend or not. "Horror film featuring WWE wrestler" is just a total death sentence for a movie, but I'm not sure if people realize it or not. There will no doubt be a sharp dropoff after the first week. I'll go ahead and predict an opening weekend gross of $5M. That's pretty decent, because I think WWE has set up a good smokescreen as far as what the movie is.
1994POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:20 PM 6 COMMENTS
1995Raw Report
1996Date: 05/15/06 from Lubbock, TX.
1997
1998The Big News: Triple H moved closer to a break with the McMahons, while Mick Foley had a confrontation with Terry Funk.
1999
2000Title Changes/Turns: Shelton Benjamin won back the Intercontinental Title from Rob Van Dam.
2001
2002Match Results: Triple H, Shelton Benjamin & Chris Masters b Rob Van Dam & John Cena; Spirit Squad b Gene Snitsky & Goldust; Matt Striker b Eugene; Umaga b Chris Wellman; Shawn Michaels NC Kenny Doane.
2003
2004Show Analysis:
2005Vince McMahon came out at the start, and said he was changing the main event for the better. It would be Rob Van Dam and John Cena vs. HHH, Chris Masters and Shelton Benjamin in a 3 on 2 Texas tornado handicap match with both titles on the line depending on who scored the pin. The match started out too wild, with everyone brawling all over the place and no build.
2006
2007Coming back from a break, the heels went to work triple teaming RVD, and the match was really good from that point on. Benjamin and HHH got into an argument while Masters put RVD in the Masterlock. RVD was able to fight them all off, and went for the frog splash on Benjamin, but HHH pushed him off the top to the floor. Cena then came in with clotheslines and suplexes on all three. He hit the five knuckle shuffle on Benjamin, and sent HHH to the floor when he went for the pedigree. Cena then applied the STFU to Benjamin. Masters broke that up. RVD hit the five star on Benjamin, but HHH gave RVD the pedigree.
2008
2009Cena hit the FU on Masters, and HHH gave Cena the pedigree. Benjamin made the cover on RVD, and HHH made the cover on Cena, but Benjamin got the cover first and scored the pin to win the IC Title. HHH thought he won, so he gave the referee the pedigree and stormed off. This was good, and the crowd was hot for it. The negative is the finish, as it buries the title when the champion is beaten and they aren’t even building to a PPV title match with the man who has him beat. Well, this was at least less problematic than Rey’s treatment on Smackdown.
2010
2011Trish Stratus called out Mickie James. Beth came out and attacked Mickie again. Trish said Beth is Mickie’s old friend and Trish’s new friend. Beth said she wouldn’t let Mickie get away with what she did. Backstage, Shane McMahon told an angry HHH that Vince wanted to collect his favor, and HHH would be in Kenny’s corner against Shawn Michaels with Shane McMahon as special referee. Spirit Squad then retained the tag titles defeating Gene Snitsky and Goldust with a bulldog off the trampoline off the floor into the ring for the pin. That was a cool spot.
2012
2013Mick Foley came out for an interview. He still received mostly cheers and few boos, and played to the crowd with thumbs up and smiles. He said what he did was unbelievable, because he couldn’t even believe he attacked Tommy Dreamer and joined Edge himself. He said he owed an apology, and said he is sorry. That got cheers. He said he couldn’t apologize to Dreamer, so he would apologize to Terry Funk. They put over Funk as Foley’s mentor. Foley wanted to shake hands, but Funk told him not so fast. He wanted to know why Foley humiliated Dreamer.
2014
2015Foley said it was because he and Edge made history at WrestleMania with the greatest hardcore match ever, and he wasn’t going to let second-rate ECW scumbags come into a WWE ring as if they represent hardcore. Thus, Edge and Foley made a pact to protect what they created. He said he would defend three things with his life: the honor of his wife, the honor of his children, and the honor of his legacy. Funk said Foley is ECW, and talked about all they have been through together. He said Foley is like a son to him and they hugged.
2016
2017Foley said that they hadn’t stood in a WWE ring together since 1998, but they should have in 2003 when Foley was honored as a hardcore legend. Instead, he asserted Funk didn’t show up because he wanted more money. Foley said Funk broke his heart. He continued that one day Funk will die, and it will cost a lot of money for Foley to come to a dump like West Texas and speak at his funeral. He then reconsidered and said he would come there for free to spit on Funk’s grave.
2018
2019Funk then tried to get Foley to fight him. He slapped Foley multiple times, called his wife a whore, and said his kids are bastards. But it was only after he said that WWE sucks that Foley attacked. Funk fought off Foley and Edge, but Lita gave Funk a low blow. Edge hit Funk with the barbed wire bat twice, and Edge and Foley gave him the Socko/spear combination. This started a little slow, with Foley’s motivation and explanation a little convoluted. However, it picked up and built into an excellent, heated segment. Funk did a really good job in support.
2020
2021Matt Striker beat Eugene. Before the match, Striker mocked immigrants and Texas Tech, and vowed to teach Eugene a lesson. Eugene hit the leg drop, but Striker kicked out. Eugene went for the Rock Bottom, but Striker got out and hit the Golden Rule for the pin. Striker’s knockoff Dean Douglas character is a dead-end gimmick for a dead-end performer. The other Matt Striker was always better than this guy.
2022
2023Backstage, Carlito said he liked Eugene until he messed with Carlito. Maria didn’t understand Carlito’s t-shirt. This of course built to Maria excitedly proclaiming that she swallows, and Carlito saying that is cool. While vulgar, this was an amusing little backstage segment. Elsewhere, HHH confronted Vince McMahon backstage. HHH was furious and said nothing. Vince said that since HHH got a title shot, it would be time for HHH to return the favor and bash in Michaels’ head with a sledgehammer.
2024
2025Umaga beat Chris Wellman. Armando claimed that Wellman is the toughest guy in all of Texas, which was funny. Even Wellman had this quizzical look after Armando made that claim. Umaga threw Wellman over his head really hard off the steps to the floor. He used the thumb for the pin. Backstage, Spirit Squad voiced their appreciation for Shane McMahon.
2026
2027Shawn Michaels and Kenny went to a no-contest. Michaels went after Shane from the very beginning. He went for an elbow off the top on Kenny, but Shane pushed him off. Kenny hit a DDT, elbow and other moves, and Shane tried to fast count Michaels. Kenny whipped and choked Michaels with a belt. Michaels came back with an inverted atomic drop and punches. He whipped Shane with the belt, sending him from the ring.
2028
2029Michaels hit a body slam and the elbow off the top on Kenny. He followed that with sweet chin music, but Shane jumped Michaels with a series of back breakers. He called HHH into the ring, and held him for HHH to attack with the sledgehammer. HHH swung, and they played it like he intended to hit Michaels, but Michaels moved out of the way. With Shane laid out, Vince came out and called for help. HHH apologized to Vince as the show ended.
2030
2031Final Thoughts:
2032
2033This show overall was above average based on recent Raw standards. The one thing that’s problematic is they have false advertised major matches two weeks in a row, for no good reason. It’s just traditional bait and switch: promising something you think people want to see but that you don’t want to deliver. That is not a good pattern to develop. Otherwise, there are some good stories being told on Raw, and the main event direction in particular feels strong.
2034POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:20 PM 9 COMMENTS
2035WFA Announces “King of the Streets” Event
2036The newly reborn World Fighting Alliance held a contract signing this evening at their offices in Los Angeles to announce a loaded lineup for their initial “King of the Streets” event. The card, headlined by Matt “the Law” Lindland vs. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson, will take place at the Los Angeles Forum on July 22, and be available on pay-per-view. WFA unveiled its new ad campaign, built around “Rampage Reborn.”
2037
2038WFA CEO Jeremy Lappen announced the new approach of the organization, which is to be a “fighter-first” organization that will focus on building individual fighters over a brand. Lappen explained, “We are going to build our brand off the fighters themselves: off their stories, off their unique personalities that they bring into play.” The approach stands in marked contrast to the team approach of rival upstart IFL. With UFC having a stronger brand name than any rival for the foreseeable future, fighters are going to have to be the principal draw for a viable alternative. Lappen asserted, “We will be the premiere mixed martial arts event in the world.”
2039
2040Jackson, in good spirits, described his decision to join WFA as being motivated by monetary and promotional concerns. There was interest in Jackson from many major organizations. Jackson frankly noted, “WFA offered me the most money” and added an enthusiastic, “Cha-ching!” He also observed, “I knew the WFA would promote me the way I want to be promoted,” and cited their ad campaign and approach as a positive. Jackson declined to address the number of fights on his WFA contract.
2041Lindland expressed a similar affinity for the WFA’s philosophy, and said that he originally signed his WFA contract in November with the intention of fighting Tito Ortiz. Lindland had been rumored as a participant on the next season of the Ultimate Fighter, but that was never in the negotiating or planning stages.
2042
2043Jackson has fought at 205, while Lindland has fought at 185 for most of his career. Lindland said that he doesn’t care whether he fights at one class or the other. He noted that he walks around at 205 and is comfortable at that weight. He joked, “I whooped all the guys at 185. I had to move up.” Retorted Jackson, “You didn’t whoop Bustamante,” referring to a dominant performance in a 2002 UFC title fight.
2044
2045Jackson added, “I think July 23 he’s going to be moving back to 185.” Jackson continued his good-natured trash-talking by joking about Lindland’s breath and predicting, “I’m going to break the Law.” Lindland jabbed back a little, “There’s a lot more technical guys than Quinton, especially in his weight class. Look at Ricardo Arona, how much more talented he is than Jackson.”
2046
2047The WFA also announced a surprisingly strong undercard, which arguably has a higher talent level than UFC 60. Former UFC heavyweight champion Ricco Rodriguez will face Pride, UFC and OVW veteran Ron Waterman. In perhaps the most intriguing matchup, Antonio Inoki protege Lyoto Machida will make his American MMA debut against Vernon White. Lyoto holds victories over Rich Franklin, B.J. Penn and Stephan Bonnar. Also on the card is Ivan Salaverry vs. Art Santore, as well as Jason “Mayhem” Miller, Kimo and Rob McCullough against unnamed opponents.
2048POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 7:43 PM 5 COMMENTS
2049THURSDAY, MAY 11, 2006
2050Done
2051Well, one more year completed, and one year until I've got my JD. It's nice to be done and to have a relatively tranquil summer in front of me.
2052POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 5:22 PM 4 COMMENTS
2053This is Outrageous
2054OUTRAGEOUS. What the hell does this administration have to do before someone in our government or judiciary stands up for our constitutional rights?
2055POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 7:42 AM 5 COMMENTS
2056WEDNESDAY, MAY 10, 2006
2057Unbelievable
2058Spoiler Alert Warning....
2059
2060
2061I cannot believe they would just have Great Khali squash Rey Mysterio, and in his hometown to boot. This has to be the most breathtakingly dumb booking decision by WWE in years, and that statement speaks volumes. Where to even start? First, you've got a PPV you are trying to sell. And the new route to promoting PPVs seems to be to have the main eventers lose and lose and lose cleanly. Because people are anxious to pay to see losers square off to see who is the bigger loser. Second, you've got Rey Mysterio being buried based on size over and over again and treated like a joke, when he is a hell of a talent and should be booked much more carefully. Third, there's the fact that he is your champion and it totally buries the title. Fourth, and perhaps most irritating to me, is the continuing push of a man who cannot wrestle and will not be with the company within 2 years. Nothing reflects the company's ineptitude these days more than the guys they choose to push and the guys they choose to bury. Ugh.
2062POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 2:16 PM 8 COMMENTS
2063MONDAY, MAY 08, 2006
2064Raw Report Plus
2065Date: 05/08/06 from Anaheim, CA.
2066
2067The Big News: Mick Foley turned heel on Tommy Dreamer and joined Edge’s side. The initial turn has to be termed a failure, but there is a lot of upside in this move, and once Foley is able to cut a few promos, this initial awkwardness will likely be forgotten.
2068
2069Title Changes/Turns: See above.
2070
2071Match Results: Rob Van Dam b Chris Masters, Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin; Matt Striker b Carlito Caribbean Cool-DQ; Mick Foley b Edge and Tommy Dreamer; Mickie James b Maria; Umaga b Tommy Wilson & Kevin Martinson; Big Show b Kane-DQ; Kenny Doane, Nicky Nemeth, Johnny Jeter, Mikey Mondo & Mitch b Shawn Michaels & John Cena.
2072
2073Show Analysis:
2074
2075I was at the show live, so I’ll start with the Heat results. Trevor Murdoch beat Goldust with his feet on the ropes. Goldust looked really out of shape. Eugene then defeated Tony Drake with the stunner. Eugene got a good reaction from the crowd. Rob Conway and Victoria beat Viscera and Torrie Wilson, a result that made me happy. They did a comedy bit where Torrie gave Victoria the stinkface. Conway tagged in and wanted the stinkface from Torrie, but instead got it from Viscera. Victoria pinned Torrie with the Widow’s Peak. Finally, Gene Snitsky beat Lance Cade via DQ when Trevor Murdoch interfered. Goldust made the save. Heat made for an ungodly boring opening to the show.
2076
2077Jim Ross returned to the commentary booth. Skipping through sections of the show on tape when I got home, I didn’t notice anything particularly notable about his commentary. He didn’t really dismiss Styles, his point of view or ECW, which was good for both his credibility and Styles’. Really, Ross could have cut the same promo as Styles on the current product. It’s nice to have him back in any event.
2078
2079HHH came out to start the show. He got a total face reaction. He basically said he knows he has gotten his chances at the title and hasn’t succeeded, but he wanted an additional, immediate title shot anyway. John Cena came out and said that HHH hasn’t earned a title shot lately, but that he would give it anyway. Vince McMahon then interrupted, and said they wouldn’t have a title match. He said HHH would get a title shot at some point, but not in Anaheim. HHH was a smart ass again, but Vince wasn’t having it. He gave HHH the night off and made John Cena and Shawn Michaels vs. the Spirit Squad.
2080
2081One thing that was apparent in the arena is that the people who still like John Cena really like him. I think his fans genuinely like him more than his detractors genuinely dislike him. Of course, this doesn’t come across on TV because boos and cheers mixed together tend to come out sounding more like boos. That’s what happened with Griffin-Ortiz and that’s what frequently happens with Cena I think.
2082
2083Rob Van Dam beat Chris Masters, Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas in a four way. Coming to the ring, RVD had a stare down with John Cena, which was a nice tease of their upcoming match. RVD before the match said he agreed with everything Joey Styles said last week, and encouraged fans to chant ECW. Crowd didn’t really cooperate. There wasn’t anything wrong with the match, but it never really built, and felt disjointed. Finish saw Masters apply the Masterlock on Haas, but RVD flew in with a sunset flip on Masters for the pin.
2084
2085They did an angle where all the co-stars in Kane’s movie talked about him being hard to work with and a nasty individual. One of them said May 19 a bunch of times so Kane choked him. Matt Striker beat Carlito via DQ. Very early in the match Eugene ran out and attacked Striker for the DQ. Carlito gave Eugene a back cracker for his efforts. They are trying to turn Carlito into the Rock with the heel mannerisms and face character, but not everyone has the Rock’s charisma to pull that off. They should just focus on getting him over as a face first, and then worry about adding edge to the character.
2086
2087Mick Foley and Edge didn’t end up having a real match. Foley said that the winner of their match would be the greatest hardcore wrestler today, but they couldn’t do that without ECW. Thus, he made a triple threat hardcore match with Edge vs. Foley vs. Tommy Dreamer. The match didn’t really take place. Foley hit Dreamer from behind with a barbed wire bat, and then handed the bat to Edge. Edge hit Dreamer in the head with it, and Foley dropped an elbow with the bat. Edge leg dropped it into Dreamer’s groin. Foley then applied the socko claw and Edge hit the spear for the pin. Edge and Foley shook hands.
2088
2089This didn’t take well live. The crowd didn’t react to it. They just didn’t seem to want to boo Foley. There was very little booing, and it wasn’t a shocked reaction either. The crowd just didn’t know how to react, and the turn was met with apathy. The problem to me seemed pretty clear. Mick Foley has been a baby face for just about eight years now. In order for him to turn heel, he needed to do something that really made the fans upset.
2090
2091Beating up Tommy Dreamer didn’t do the trick because fans don’t care enough about Dreamer. To WWE fans he is barely known and insignificant. ECW fans, if they are even watching Raw, saw Tommy Dreamer get badly beat up about 8,000 times over the years. That was basically the story of the entire run of ECW, so there was nothing to provoke a strong visceral reaction. Hindsight is 20/20, but this was the wrong way to do the initial Foley turn.
2092
2093That said, I really like the idea of a Foley turn in general. There are a lot of reasons why Foley can work as a heel now, and he has always been a great storyteller as a heel. His heel role in ECW was great, and he can tinker with that now. I also understand why they would involve Dreamer in this angle, given he was a key player in the original anti-hardcore Foley heel character. When Foley has a chance to explain himself and tell the story, I still think this is going to take off and do very well. But this wasn’t a successful first step, unfortunately.
2094
2095The one other problem with this whole scenario is probably not a major point to many, but it was to me. Arrowhead Pond mostly sold out in advance, so fans purchased their tickets not expecting Foley vs. Edge. However, I made the decision to buy a $50 ticket (well, close to $70 once those criminals at Ticketmaster got done with me) to this show and drive down in the middle of exams specifically because they advertised Edge vs. Foley.
2096
2097That was the match I wanted to see. They didn’t deliver that, and instead did a basic bait and switch. I can’t fault them too much for it, because a TV bait and switch to do a surprise heel turn seems valid. Still, I felt ripped off personally, and perhaps that’s a good argument for avoiding bait and switch under any circumstances. Larry Matysik certainly emphasized that point in his book on Sam Muchnick and St. Louis.
2098
2099Mickie James beat Maria in pretty much a squash with the leaping DDT. Afterwards Mickie beat up Maria and Trish Stratus, until Beth Phoenix made the save as a crazed fan and went after Mickie. Mickie apparently knows her in storyline, as she was screaming that no one invited her. Umaga won a squash against a pair of jobbers. I continue to be befuddled by the people they choose for pushes.
2100
2101Big Show beat Kane via DQ. They did chain wrestling, telling the story that Show was trying to lighten up Kane’s mood. However, once the lights went out and the voices said May 19, Kane flipped out again and attacked Show repeatedly with a chair. The crowd was chanting May 19, and holding up signs for it, which is pretty damn clever to get the crowd advertising for your movie without even really realizing it. I was surprised at how much reaction there was to this match when they advertised it throughout the show, but the crowd turned on it when they were doing the mat wrestling.
2102
2103The Spirit Squad beat Shawn Michaels and John Cena in a handicap match. The Squad worked over Cena for much of the match, until Cena finally fought them off and made the hot tag. Michaels came in with punches, but the numbers game came into play. Michaels was hit with a title belt for the win. The Squad laid out the referee and whipped Michaels with his belt. HHH came out to presumably make the save, but as he came to the ring Cena cleared the ring and HHH gave Cena the pedigree to close the TV show. Afterwards, John Cena won a triple threat cage match over Edge and HHH.
2104
2105Final Thoughts:
2106
2107I really wanted to like this show, but I ended up finding it a bore.
2108POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 10:35 PM 6 COMMENTS
2109SUNDAY, MAY 07, 2006
2110Foley Going Heel
2111Great! This is long overdue, because his persona just isn't working as a face. There's tons of real stuff to go on.
2112POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 5:32 PM 10 COMMENTS
2113FRIDAY, MAY 05, 2006
2114Great Philosophical Question
2115Today I put to you a really deep philosophical question. Who is crazier: Ultimate Warrior or Iron Sheik? I implore you to watch the Sheik video and the Warrior video, and decide for yourself. As far as comparing their insanity, I think you have to take into account lack of connection with the real world, belligerence, and danger presented to society. Evaluating those criteria, it's a tough call. There's also tremendous irony in both. Sheik vows to sodomize Brian Blair because he considers him a "fag." And Warrior's point seems largely to be about the perverse nature of moral relativism. And he makes a hell of a point in that regard, only ironically he does so by putting himself very clearly on the unintended side of his right/wrong divide. By a hair, I'll put forward Warrior as the more crazy of the two, because I think he views himself as some sort of prophet. It's a good thing he wasn't born in a more violent region of the world, because I could see him doing all sorts of bad stuff in the name of some weird cause. Ah, wrestling. You've got to love it.
2116POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 5:59 PM 3 COMMENTS
2117THURSDAY, MAY 04, 2006
2118Jeter Most Overrated?
2119Well, duh. It was annoying to hear the PTI and ATH people complaining about Derek Jeter being voted the most overrated player in baseball among his peers in Sports Illustrated. Is this such a revelation? Jeter is a damn good player, but he unquestionably is a bigger superstar than merited by his play because he is a handsome guy that plays for the Yankees and has played a lot in the postseason. If he had spent his career playing for the Kansas City Royals, can you imagine how much different his aura and name would be? Compare Jeter’s stats to those of one of the guys on the most underrated list: Bobby Abreu. Both are excellent defenders. Jeter played his first full season two years before Abreu, but they have very similar career lines:
2120
2121Abreu: 4816 AB, 876 R, 1458 H, 194 HR, 796 RBI, 246 SB, .303 BA, .412 OBP, .512 SLG, .924 OPS
2122
2123Jeter: 6266 AB, 1180 R, 1972 H, 172 HR, 783 RBI, 217 SB, .315 BA, .387 OBP, .463 SLG, .850 OPS
2124
2125Amazingly similar, yet Abreu isn’t in Jeter’s league as far as rep and notoriety. So yeah Jeter’s overrated. What’s surprising isn’t that someone would make this claim, but why anyone would fight it with gusto.
2126POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 11:38 PM 10 COMMENTS
2127Inside Man
2128I finally got around to seeing Inside Man today. Yeah, I know, it's been out for like 3 years, but I've been really busy. I'm glad I got to see it in theaters. It's one of those movies that really keeps you consumed in trying to figure out what's going on the whole way through, and that's tough because a lot of the time there comes a point when you just get tired of doing all the work in your head and just sort of drift back and wait. It's a very encouraging sign from Spike Lee, because I love Spike and he's churned out some real garbage recently. This isn't the work of a director that's slipping, as he tells a great story and does so with style and all the typical commentaries on race that you expect from a Spike Lee joint. I'm not sure where I put it on his lexicon. Maybe fourth, behind Malcolm X (an absolute masterpiece in my opinion), Do the Right Thing and 25th Hour. The cast of course is also superb. Jodie Foster is one of my very favorite actresses, and she plays a sort of unusual role for her. Denzel is Denzel, and Clive Owen is turning out to be one hell of an actor. He's one role away from being regarded as one of the greatest actors on the planet.
2129POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 11:28 PM 2 COMMENTS
2130Konnan
2131For those of you who are subscribers to Figure Four Weekly Online, there is a fantastic interview with Konnan that I highly recommend. And come to think of it, just about anything involving Konnan speaking candidly I highly recommend. He did one of the very best RF Video shoot interviews, and is one of the best WOL guests as well. Just a really bright guy with so much knowledge of the business. I don't understand why he hasn't been given an opportunity to play a major role in the creative process in the United States, because he obviously would be very good at it. Well, I can give reasons why he hasn't been given those opportunities, but they just aren't good ones. He would be on my short list of wrestling minds to tap if I were starting up a wrestling promotion.
2132POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 11:26 PM 0 COMMENTS
2133Demise of the Wrestling Observer Online
2134It wasn't really meant to be anyway. This whole internet fad is in its last stages. As for me, I'm thinking of bringing my Raw Reports to the Other Arena. I've only had preliminary discussions, but I think it's a great fit for me.
2135
2136Joking aside, I have no idea what's going on with the site, but this was certainly an intereresting little turn of events. Anyone want to start a pool as to when the site will be back up and running?
2137POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 11:29 AM 6 COMMENTS
2138TUESDAY, MAY 02, 2006
2139I probably shouldn't post this...
2140But I couldn't resist after seeing it on a message board.
2141
2142On allegations of sexual abuse by Kwame Brown:
2143
2144"Well it could only be 'attempted' sexual assualt. We all know that Kwame is incapable of putting it in the hole, even from point blank range."
2145
2146I'm not making light of sexual assault. Just Kwame Brown's ability to play basketball.
2147POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:09 PM 0 COMMENTS
2148Americans Better at Geography than Some Thought
2149CNN has a story about how Americans don't know geography very well, and had a quiz for people. I got all the questions right, but double clicked one of the answers or something, and got this amusing conclusion from CNN.com:
2150
2151"You got 7 out of 6 correct on your first attempt.On the bright side, you're solidly in the mainstream."
2152POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 1:01 PM 6 COMMENTS
2153MONDAY, MAY 01, 2006
2154Raw Report
2155Date: 05/01/06 from Columbus, OH.
2156
2157The Big News: We were coasting through a typical edition of Raw when all of a sudden something bizarre happened, and WWE programming became exciting again. Joey Styles cut an awesome promo on WWE’s brand of sports entertainment that said all the things most of us have been thinking for ages now. It was as close to an uncompromised promo as you could expect, and more on point than Paul Heyman’s interview in front of a much smaller audience at One Night Stand last year.
2158
2159It was the single most encouraging development on Raw in years, perhaps even 2001. And it was followed by another intriguing segment that suggests HHH’s face turn and reunion with Shawn Michaels could be coming as soon as next week. There’s an opportunity to create a fresh and compelling main event mix. The key is what they do with John Cena’s character. Amazingly, suddenly, unexpectedly, there’s reason for optimism.
2160
2161Title Changes/Turns: Joey Styles turned. In which direction depends upon your perspective.
2162
2163Match Results: Maria & Torrie Wilson b Victoria & Candice Michelle; Mikey Mondo, Nicky Nemeth & Johnny Jeter b Eugene Dinsmore, Gene Snitsky & Goldust; Kane b Rob Conway; Umaga b Rory Fox; Carlito Caribbean Cool & Rob Van Dam b Chris Masters & Shelton Benjamin; John Cena b Nicky Doane.
2164
2165Show Analysis:
2166
2167Vince McMahon announced that like God, he was going to take a night off, and make the Spirit Squad GMs for the night. Remember when he was just there to hire a new general manager? He’s like the South American military leader that says he is coming in to reinstall democracy but instead becomes an unwanted dictator.
2168
2169In any event, the Squad drew spirit straws, and Kenny won, earning him a title shot against John Cena in the main event. They are not very bright. Why not just make a six pack challenge for the title? They also showed Backlash highlights really frequently throughout the show. Well, highlights is probably the wrong word. Actually, they hit just about every lowlight on the show.
2170
2171Maria and Torrie Wilson beat Mickie James and Victoria. They were all dressed in cheerleader outfits, which I enjoyed more than I should have. Torrie gave Victoria the stink face, and Maria gave Mickie the bronco buster. At that point it became very hard to pan the match. Trish ran in and grabbed Mickie’s leg as she went to suplex Maria into the ring. Maria collapsed on top of Mickie and scored the win. Mickie later went for revenge on Maria during the Kiss Cam segment.
2172
2173The Spirit Squad (Nicky, Johnny and Mikey) beat the Odd Squad (Eugene, Goldust and the ever popular Gene Snitsky). This match made me happy because they gave the other team a name and theme, like a really crappy Survivor Series team. It’s not quite Roddy’s Rowdies versus Rude’s Brood, but it will have to do. They literally completely cut away from the match to show Vince McMahon backstage doing nothing. It was like Nitro. Spirit Squad and Odd Squad played the role of Eddie Guerrero and Dean Malenko, while Vince McMahon played the role of Hulk Hogan walking into the building.
2174
2175Anyway, the Squad worked over Eugene. He hit Rock Bottom and made the hot tag to Snitsky. Squad quickly gained back control and Johnny hit a spin kick on Eugene for the pin. The crowd was dead for this, shock of all shocks. The interviewer was instructed backstage to ask Eugene how it felt to lose, which was pretty funny. Eugene said Eric Bischoff taught him one lesson, to never quit. Then he thought about it and realized Bischoff did try to get him to quit and was a real jerk. He gloated about still having a job. Matt Striker then attacked him with a dictionary. The highlight was Eugene selling the beating by remarking “ow.”
2176
2177Spirit Squad confronted Shawn Michaels backstage. They were very happy about their plan. They gave him the night off as a wrestler, but made him referee for Kane vs. Rob Conway. Worse, he had to wear a shirt that said May 19. Styles said this was brilliant. You know what would have been brilliant? Put him in a singles match with Kane if you dislike him so much. Hell, make him wear the t-shirt in that. Shockingly, the Squad’s plan didn’t work out.
2178
2179Shawn Michaels pulled a Reggie Evans on Rob Conway before the match, and put the May 19 shirt on him. Throughout the match he kept waiving May 19 in Kane’s face and laughing, and somehow this made Kane angry at Conway. I wonder if Shawn wrote May 19 on a piece of cardboard and kept waiving it in Kane’s face whether Kane would attack the cardboard and drop elbows on it while leaving Michaels alone. In any event, Michaels was joking around, again teasing DX. He brought a garbage can into the ring, and Kane hit Conway with it and gave him the choke slam.
2180
2181Kane left, but Michaels got on the mic and said May 19 a bunch of times. Kane came back to the ring, and concluded somehow that the guy speaking in Michaels’ voice was not Michaels, but actually the unconscious Conway. So he scooped up the unconscious Conway, gave him the tombstone and pinned him. This whole thing was hilarious, but I was laughing at them, not with them. This segment didn’t have the slightest bit of believability. You didn’t feel the wrestlers were acting based on real motivations, but rather were just playing out a cute idea by bad script writers.
2182
2183Umaga beat “Rapid Delivery” Rory Fox~! Armando spoke some Spanish before the match. He should really avoid doing so, because his accent is awful and people will quickly catch onto the fact he’s of Palestinian heritage. Umaga hit a splash off the top and the thumb to the throat for the win. WWE’s choices for pushes are so unbelievably suspect.
2184
2185Backstage, Vince McMahon was cuddling with Candice Michelle, who said she had Labiagitis. Vince asked if that was acute, and she said it is cute. Wow, that’s rather vulgar. They started making out. HHH came in, and made a joke about McMahon getting an erection. HHH and Vince then got into a discussion/subtle argument, where they teased dissension between the two. Vince wanted him to be special referee for the main event. HHH wanted a future title shot if Kenny won, but Vince basically told him to or else.
2186
2187Mick Foley was the guest on the Cutting Edge. Edge said he still has a claim to the title since Cena pinned HHH. He said he doesn’t get any respect, and added his win at Mania was tarnished by Joey Styles’ commentary. Mick Foley came out and said he hasn’t forgot the Mania match. At first he wanted to figure out what went wrong, but realized things went right. He said it might have been the greatest hardcore match of his career and in history. Don’t push it, Mick.
2188
2189He called Edge the toughest SOB in WWE, shook his hand, shook Lita’s hand and gave Lita a kiss on the cheek. He said he got his defining Mania moment, and showed Edge’s face after spearing Foley through the flaming table. Foley said that moment was realizing Edge would never be the same. Edge would never want to go through that again, while Foley does. Foley challenged him to a rematch right there. Edge said “You’re on.” He continued, “You’re on crack.”
2190
2191Edge said he would take on Foley in any match he wants next week. Foley threatened to cut him open with barbed wire, razor wire and thumbtacks. So apparently they are meeting in some stipulation match next week on Raw. That’s surprising. I might even go to the show in Anaheim weren’t I in the middle of exams. Okay, so maybe that isn’t entirely true given exams aren’t stopping me from going to PWG this weekend.
2192
2193Chris Masters said he has proven he’s superior to Carlito, because Carlito needed to cheat to beat him. Rob Van Dam came out for a Masterlock Challenge, but Benjamin ran in and attacked him when the Masterlock was applied. Carlito made the save with a chair, so Spirit Squad made a tag match.
2194
2195Rob Van Dam and Carlito beat Chris Masters and Shelton Benjamin. They cut away from this match as well for Vince and Candice backstage, but given what Vince was doing with Candice, it was not unwelcome at all. Spirit Squad gave Styles a note during this match, so he left. The heels worked over RVD, including a power slam by Benjamin. RVD came back with a spinning heel kick and made the tag to Carlito.
2196
2197Carlito came in with punches, a back body drop, a springboard elbow and a drop kick. Benjamin hit him with a crescent kick, but RVD hit Benjamin with a kick off the top. Masters went for the press slam on Masters, but received the back cracker instead. Benjamin went to bring in a chair, but Charlie Haas took it away and Carlito rolled up Benjamin with the tights for the pin. This wasn’t as good as it should have been.
2198
2199Spirit Squad backstage told Joey Styles he was doing a bad job. He had a lack of spirit, and was giving off negative energy. The Squad said if he didn’t do a better job he would have to wear a female cheerleader’s outfit. Jerry Lawler was amused when Styles came back, and started mocking him. Lawler said he should show some enthusiasm, and he would do so if this were ECW. Styles responded, “If this were ECW, I wouldn’t be working with a hat like you.” That got a big reaction from the crowd.
2200
2201Styles got pissed off. He shoved Lawler twice and slapped him. This was great. Lawler called him a little idiot and shoved him to the ground. Styles left to ECW chants. Lawler apologized after the break to Styles, and asked him to come back out. Styles came out, and proceeded to cut an awesome promo. He said he would show why for seven years in ECW he was the loose cannon of commentary.
2202
2203Styles said that six months ago, WWE called him because they had humiliated and fired Jim Ross. So he got Ross’ spot, and from week one got a lecture on the difference between professional wrestling and sports entertainment. He isn’t allowed to say wrestler or wrestling, only sports entertainment and superstars. He is told to deliberately ignore the moves and holds, when that is damn insulting to wrestlers. Because he is not sports entertainment, he gets pulled from WrestleMania for Jim Ross, the guy he was hired to replace in the first place.
2204
2205Then he is pulled from Backlash. In ECW he called live PPVs solo, but now he is not good enough to call Backlash because he’s not a sports entertainment storyteller. He said he is sick of sports entertainment, male cheerleaders, boogers, bathroom humor, semen and Vince McMahon, who mocks God to feed his own ego. Amen. Furthermore, he’s sick of fans who buy into that crap. Double amen. That got boos, and the crowd treated it as a heel turn. He said he never needed his job, and doesn’t want it. “I quit,” he concluded. He was cheered in a “we’re glad you’re leaving” sort of way.
2206
2207John Cena beat Nicky Doane. Cena controlled the match early with an elbow drop, punches and a suplex. He went for the FU, but HHH punched him. The Spirit Squad then beat on Cena for the rest of the match, but HHH was always really slow and lazy to count. Kenny eventually got furious and shoved HHH. HHH punched him back, gave Mitch a pedigree, and left.
2208
2209As he was leaving, Shawn Michaels came out with a referee shirt, and they stared at each other for a while. Kenny hit a leg drop off the top on Cena, and Michaels went to count but stopped counting at two. Kenny went crazy. Michaels gave him sweet chin music and a crotch chop. Michaels and Cena cleared the ring, and Cena gave Kenny the FU for the pin.
2210
2211Final Thoughts:
2212
2213Wow. The Joey Styles promo was the most entertaining segment on WWE television in ages. I didn’t think much of the return of ECW, but it can be meaningful if it provides an alternative vision to professional wrestling that has been badly missing in recent years. I want them to go with a theme of fans against fans. Encourage the fans of “sports entertainment” and “professional wrestling” to battle it out. Make them choose sides, not unlike WCW vs. NWO.
2214
2215In all honesty, the real problem isn’t terms like pro wrestling and sports entertainment, or ECW versus WWE. It’s an issue of a product that is logical, treats its fans with respect, and pushes based on talent versus a product that is illogical, insulting and pushes people who bring next to nothing to the table. The more the former asserts itself, the less the latter will grip the common fan base in an apathetic, unresponsive malaise that doesn’t much care for the current product but is resigned to nothing better coming along.
2216
2217I’m not against sports entertainment as a concept. WWF was the first product that I watched. I just want logical storylines that I can get into, interesting characters, matches with results I care about, and pushes given to people who can talk and/or wrestle and have more than just a look, a name or a connection.
2218
2219This all boils down to one basic problem: over the past few years nobody with Vince’s ear is telling him what sucks. It can only be regarded as a positive when someone is scripting valid complaints about the product to be voiced on the air. It suggests there is some realization of those problems backstage. Maybe the fact UFC is killing WWE on PPV this year woke them up. Whatever it is, there needs to be more introspection, not less.
2220
2221The most encouraging thing I can say for this show is that for the first time in ages, I am genuinely excited to see what happens on the next show. I get that feeling when I watch ROH. I get that feeling when I watch UFC. I get that feeling when I watch PWG. It’s about time I got that feeling when I watch WWE again.
2222POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:02 PM 4 COMMENTS
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2355
2356 ~~~~
2357
2358
2359SMASHMOUTH DRIVING
2360MONDAY, MARCH 29, 2010
2361WWE Raw Report
2362Date: 03/29/10 from Phoenix, AZ.
2363
2364The Big News: Shawn Michaels gave a touching speech following his loss at WrestleMania 26.
2365
2366Show Analysis:
2367
2368Batista came out to start the show. He said that he wouldn’t give the people the satisfaction of watching him complain. He claimed WrestleMania was a fluke, and the crowd chanted “you tapped out.” Batista said he has a rematch, which brought out John Cena.
2369
2370Cena obnoxiously bragged about beating Batista, leading to loud “Cena sucks” chants. Cena of course suggested they have a title rematch on Raw, like they do every single month. Batista of course declined, like they do every single month. Cena and Batista then fought. They blew it big time by having Cena win at Mania. They had a cool story with Cena unable to beat Batista and now it’s just two of the same main eventers trading wins like always. And it furthers resentment towards Cena as well.
2371
2372Things got worse. Jack Swagger jumped John Cena from behind. He hit Cena over and over and over again with the Money in the Bank briefcase. He said he was cashing in Money in the Bank. Then as the referee came to the ring Cena immediately countered Swagger with the STF. Swagger desperately escaped to the outside and said he wasn’t using his shot after all as Cena laughed at him.
2373
2374Why even have Swagger win Money in the Bank if you’re just going to treat him as an incompetent, worthless buffoon who can’t gain a second’s advantage after hitting someone with a briefcase a half dozen times? Don’t you have enough ways to comically bury the midcard without using what has previously been an effective elevation tool in the process?
2375
2376Christian beat Ted DiBiase Jr. in a legends lumberjack match. Guest hosts Clark Duke and Rob Corddry (who I actually did recognize as a correspondent from the Daily Show) announced this match. Ted DiBiase Sr., IRS, Nick Bockwinkel, Pat Patterson, Arn Anderson, Roddy Piper, Sgt. Slaughter, Tony Garea, Ricky Steamboat and Jerry Lawler were the lumberjacks.
2377
2378DiBiase used a kick and chin lock. He set up for Dream Street but Christian escaped and hit an elbow off the ropes. Christian went for the kill switch but DiBiase avoided it and they tumbled to the floor. The legends threw them back in the ring and in the process a brawl broke out amongst the legends. Christian hit the kill switch in the ring for the pin. Afterwards, Ted Jr. shoved Ted Sr. This was a fun segment.
2379
2380Backstage, Tiffany, Rosa Mendes and the Bella twins were in a hot tub. The guest hosts said there would be a contest where the woman to stay in the hot tub the longest with them would win something, perhaps a women’s title shot. Later the Bellas were deemed the winners when Tiffany and Rosa were creeped out and left. The Bellas left too and Mark Henry and Hornswoggle came into the hot tub for “comedy.”
2381
2382HHH came out to speak. He said that he didn’t think it would end this way for Shawn Michaels. He labeled it the end of an era. He added that it seemed like just yesterday that he entered WWE and met Michaels the first time. HHH said they took on the world. He got choked up and said there was something he always wanted to say to Shawn, but at that point Sheamus jumped him from behind with a pipe. HHH was very good here and the segment worked well.
2383
2384Kelly, Mickie, Eve, Gail and Beth beat Alicia, Vickie, Layla, Michelle and Maryse. Eve just pinned Maryse immediately. And I mean literally immediately. They didn’t even bother with any moves; Eve just pinned her and that was that. There was a brawl afterwards. What a waste of a segment this was.
2385
2386Bret Hart came out. He congratulated Shawn Michaels on his career. He said that it was a great feeling to beat the hell out of Vince McMahon at WrestleMania. He said he could feel high fives from Davey Boy Smith, Owen Hart and Stu Hart. Invoking Davey Boy there kind of rubbed me the wrong way given the horrible things Bret said about Davey Boy working for Vince after Owen’s death when Davey Boy needed the money a lot more than Bret does now. Bret said this is a great time for the Hart family, thanked the fans, waived and started to leave. This was a nice send off.
2387
2388Show Miz interrupted, and they nicely tied Bret’s angle into a new tag title program. Miz called Bret a thief for robbing Miz of his time and his shine. Miz said he won at Mania and now he is 17 wins away from tying the Undertaker. He called Bret overrated and told Bret to leave. Bret told Miz to make him. Show and Miz were closing in when Hart Dynasty came out to make the save. Bret challenged Show Miz to take them on.
2389
2390Hart Dynasty beat Show Miz via count out in a non title match. David Hart Smith hit a delayed vertical suplex on Miz and flipped Tyson Kidd into a somersault plancha on Miz. The heels took over on Kidd for a bit, before Kidd got the tag back to Smith. Smith hit a shoulder block and power slam on Miz and Hart Dynasty teamed for the Hart Attack. Kidd applied the sharpshooter but Show pulled Miz out of the ring and they left. Hart Dynasty worked well here as faces for the first time and I really liked this little angle from start to finish.
2391
2392John Cena and Randy Orton beat Jack Swagger and Batista. Swagger posited before the match that he was just messing with Cena earlier and that when he cashes in the MITB he’ll be the favorite to take the title. Orton got a nice pop when introduced as Cena’s partner. I’ve always liked the spot in pro wrestling where the face turns to a longtime heel for help against other heels.
2393
2394Cena hit a fisherman buster on Swagger and tagged Orton to use the Garvin stomp. The heels gained control on Cena with Swagger hitting a Vader bomb and Batista using an Irish whip, punches and kicks and a spine buster. Batista shook them ropes but Cena avoided the offense and tagged Orton. Orton gave Swagger a power slam and back breaker, gave Batista an RKO, and hit the RKO on Swagger for the pin. This furthered the “Jack Swagger is a total joke” theme for the evening. On the plus side, they do recognize they need to heat Orton up.
2395
2396Shawn Michaels came out for the close of the show. If you’re one of the people that reads these reports but doesn’t usually watch the show, you should definitely make sure to watch this segment. It was one of the most memorable in Raw history.
2397
2398Undertaker’s music interrupted Michaels before he could speak and Undertaker started to make his way to the ring. However, Undertaker then turned around and left. The crowd chanted “please don’t go” at Michaels. Michaels said he has been doing this since his early 20s and not doing it any more in his 40s will be tough to get used to. The crowd chanted “thank you Shawn.”
2399
2400Michaels thanked the fans and said there was a time when the ring and the fans were all he had, the only time he felt good about himself. Michaels cried and said that the fans were the only people who ever made Shawn like himself. He thanked HHH for being his friend at a time when a lot of people didn’t want to be around him. He thanked the guys in the truck, the camera men, the announcers (he put over Jim Ross as the greatest announcer of all time), and the production and video guys.
2401
2402The crowd chanted “one more match,” and this led to an all too rare occurrence in WWE these days of a performer genuinely interacting with the crowd on the microphone. He said that he knows how people feel about career ending match. He noted that he doesn’t want to go back on his word. He added that he wants to honor his word and will do everything in his power to make sure that one more match doesn’t happen.
2403
2404Shawn thanked Bret Hart. He said that he drove Bret crazy in the 90s and Bret had every right to say the bad things he did about Shawn. He thanked Bret for accepting and believing that he had changed and giving Shawn the opportunity to show friendship. Shawn thanked Vince McMahon. He said he couldn’t work for anyone else and that he drove Vince crazy too. He said that Vince gave him the opportunity to do what he loves to do and kept him from making even bigger mistakes.
2405
2406Shawn thanked the fans again. He said that he spent more time with the fans than with his family. He thanked Jesus Christ. He thanked his wife and children and said that daddy’s coming home. He concluded, “Shawn Michaels has left the building,” which was something they’d have the ring announcer say ala Elvis when he first turned heel. Michaels left to the back and hugged HHH on the stage.
2407
2408Okay, so I came into this segment not expecting to be moved. I don’t believe for a minute Shawn Michaels has wrestled his last match and I’ve seen 8,000 fake retirements in pro wrestling. I remember Shawn Michaels delivering a tearful retirement speech way back in 1997 and was genuinely moved by it as a teenager only to see him return to wrestling a few months later. With that said, I ended up very touched by Shawn’s poignant speech.
2409
2410Whether or not Michaels comes back, there’s nothing wrong with recognizing people who have brought you a lot of joy over the years. There’s more skepticism in pro wrestling because that sentiment is often exploited for financial gain, but ultimately this evening was more about remembrance of and appreciation for Michaels’ career than about a streak vs. career match.
2411
2412The speech clearly meant a lot to Michaels. It felt honest and real, and even addressed the skepticism about wrestling retirements in a way that showed respect for the audience. I don’t know Michaels, but it seems like he really has grown up a lot over the years and is in a lot better place that he once was on a personal level.
2413
2414I don’t know if there’s a wrestler I’ve ever enjoyed watching perform as much as Shawn Michaels. From the wrestling to the interviews to the charisma, he has always been such a dynamic performer. I will fondly remember countless matches and angles he did over the years, from television shows to PPVs to house shows at the Baltimore Arena and Capital Center where Michaels delivered PPV caliber matches and then danced all over the building celebrating with the fans.
2415
2416Thanks, Shawn, for all the memories, regardless of whether or not you come back to provide a few more. And more importantly, I’m glad you seem to be moving away from the business in a good place personally and spiritually.
2417
2418Final Thoughts:
2419
2420This was a great and very memorable show. There were a few things I didn’t like but plenty more that I did even putting aside the tremendous conclusion with Shawn Michaels.
2421POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 11:14 PM 16 COMMENTS
2422SUNDAY, MARCH 28, 2010
2423Favorite Movies of 2009
2424I've been meaning to do this for a while but hadn't had a chance. Of course I haven't seen all the best movies of the year, but I do see a lot of movies. The movies that I haven't seen but that I think might crack the list are Precious, Zombieland, 500 Days of Summer, Christmas Carol, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Invictus and Julie & Julia.
2425
242610. The Hangover
2427
2428Fun zany comedy with all sorts of chaos in Las Vegas. I might have enjoyed it even more had I not seen Dr. Ken on Raw relatively recently before seeing this. Whenever I see the key guy characters in this now I think of their characters in this movie.
2429
24309. Avatar
2431
2432Yes, the story wasn't much. But man, it deserved all the credit it received for the visuals. It created the most breathtaking original universe I've ever seen in a theater.
2433
24348. Paranormal Activity
2435
2436I love a good scary movie and I really liked the premise and execution of this one. People compared it to Blair Witch Project because of the low budget, guerrilla advertising and success, but I thought this was much better at creating atmosphere and terror.
2437
24387. District 9
2439
2440They did a great job creating a unique and fun sci-fi movie on a relatively small budget. It had a lot of cool themes to go with the action and while I had some logic issues with the premise, I thought it succeeded really well overall.
2441
24426. Princess and the Frog
2443
2444Like with horror movies, I'm a sucker for a good Disney animated film: innocent, sweet, heartwarming, musical, a little backward minded in its attitudes but very forgivable. And I thought this was the best Disney animated film in quite a while. For all the talk about the first African-American princess, the film was actually extremely conventional but I loved the characters and the music.
2445
24465. Up in the Air
2447
2448This oddly reminded me a lot of A Beautiful Mind in that I absolutely loved the beginning (Beautiful Mind - question as to what's going on, what's real and what's not in this guy's mind; Up in the Air - exploration of this self-focused Clooney character and his interactions with his co-worker and new lover) but wasn't very pleased with where the story went (Beautiful Mind - feel good sentimentality; Up in the Air - sitcomy implausible wedding hijinx in Milwaukee). Still, I liked the good stuff enough that it's one of my favorites. Great character study.
2449
24504. An Education
2451
2452This kind of snuck under the radar despite the Best Picture nomination. I don't know many people that have seen it but I definitely recommend it. Very touching story of an intelligent young girl torn between an older suitor and her education. That plot reads like something a lot of guys would dismiss, but it works very well.
2453
24543. Up
2455
2456Pixar always delivers. Just the opening of the film was so powerful and then a fun, entertaining ride followed. Not as ambitious as many of Pixar's film, but a very rewarding film nonetheless.
2457
24582. The Hurt Locker
2459
2460What a taut, exciting film. The scenes where they are trying to defuse bombs are so incredibly thrilling. This is really at its heart a summer blockbuster movie, not an arthouse movie. It's about jolting the audience with a world the audience isn't familiar with. But it was achieved without tricks and without a lot of money. This is one of those movies I'd expect just about everyone to enjoy.
2461
24621. Inglourious Basterds
2463
2464Quentin Tarantino has such fantastic instincts as a filmmaker, both in terms of dialogue and in terms of visuals. This is a World War II movie that's not a World War II movie at all. It has one really memorable scene after another, mixing comedy with suspense with drama. I think this one is going to go down as a real masterpiece.
2465POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 10:38 PM 2 COMMENTS
2466MONDAY, MARCH 22, 2010
2467WWE Raw Report
2468Date: 03/22/10 from San Jose, CA.
2469
2470The Big News: Raw was squarely focused on WrestleMania 26.
2471
2472Show Analysis:
2473
2474I want to thank everyone who e-mailed with kind thoughts and wishes about my mom’s passing. It was much appreciated during a tough period. It feels silly discussing the subject in the context of pro wrestling, but I have some thoughts on my blog.
2475
2476This show wasn’t so much a self-contained wrestling show as a 2 hour WrestleMania hype special. There were constant video packages throughout the show along with discussion of the matches and final promos by the wrestlers. It was very effective in driving home the importance of Mania.
2477
2478Shawn Michaels came out to start the show. He said that he was feeling like he did before he threw Marty Jannetty through the window, before he won the title at WrestleMania XII and last week before he superkicked Undertaker. He had the feeling that he could do anything. Michaels said he is just getting started and that he will be remembered as the guy who ended the streak.
2479
2480Michaels was interrupted by a video on his career which finished with Undertaker saying Michaels will rest in peace. Michaels told Taker to say that to his face. That brought out guest host Pete Rose, who made Shawn Michaels vs. Kane for later in the show. He wanted Michaels to get revenge on Kane, since Kane attacked Rose at WrestleMania three straight years.
2481
2482John Morrison beat Miz. R. Truth and Big Show did commentary. Morrison hit an Asai moonsault early. Miz took over and worked over Morrison. Morrison retaliated with a running knee, somersault flip power bomb off the ropes and starship pain for the pin. Truth and Morrison celebrated after the match. They have the most awkward chemistry ever.
2483
2484Kofi Kingston beat Vladimir Kozlov to qualify for Money in the Bank. Jack Swagger for some reason was on commentary. This was a very short match that Kingston finished with trouble in paradise. Kingston is a good addition to Money in the Bank so he can throw in a few cool spots.
2485
2486They mentioned Stu Hart going into the Hall of Fame but didn’t have a video for him. They did have a video for fellow inductee Bob Uecker. Also, they announced next week the guest hosts will be the cast of the movie Hot Tub Time Machine.
2487
2488Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase cut a promo before their match. Rhodes said that after 18 months of oppression they were finally free. He said that they never needed Orton and that Orton needed them instead. DiBiase added that they don’t care who wins as long as Orton loses. DiBiase said that people are jealous of them. Rhodes and DiBiase teased dissension with a few subtle jabs at each other during this to suggest they aren’t actually on the same page.
2489
2490Sheamus, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase beat Randy Orton and HHH. Orton and HHH met backstage earlier in the show but didn’t get along. HHH was successful early but the heels took over following a disagreement between Orton and HHH over a tag. HHH eventually hit a spine buster and made the tag to Orton.
2491
2492Orton hit power slams on Sheamus and Rhodes and gave Sheamus a back breaker. Watching Orton firing up like a face is just bizarre. Orton was going for the RKO on Sheamus but went after Rhodes with a DDT attempt instead. Sheamus hit the big boot on Orton and covered for the pin. After the match HHH attacked Sheamus and they played HHH’s music.
2493
2494Bret Hart came out for a promo. He said that he never thought he would return to Mania but that now he could leave on the right note after beating Vince in a no holds barred match. Bret says he is tired of “Bret screwed Bret” and next week it will be “Bret beat Vince.” He alluded to Vince’s comment about the dysfunctional Harts and said they will be all over Phoenix for Stu’s Hall of Fame induction.
2495
2496Bret said Vince managed to drive half his own family out of WWE but the Harts will be in full force to see Bret give Vince the beating of his life. Bret mentioned that he has some great memories at Mania of his matches with Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, Roddy Piper and his brother Owen. He vowed to be the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be at this year’s Mania. Vince then came out and said that at Mania Bret is screwed. Bret was great here.
2497
2498Shawn Michaels beat Kane in a no-DQ match. Kane hit a vertical suplex, but Michaels took over with chops and applied a crossface and an ankle lock. Kane got to the ropes. Michaels hit an elbow off the top and went for sweet chin music but the lights went out and Undertaker gave him a choke slam. Kane covered but Michaels kicked out. Michaels then hit sweet chin music for the pin. This was exactly what it needed to be.
2499
2500Christian was backstage with Pete Rose. Rose felt that his luck was changing and was talking himself up. He even took a shot at San Francisco, which of course was a harbinger of trouble. Kane emerged to pull Rose into his dressing room and comedic violent noises ensued.
2501
2502Michelle McCool. Layla and Maryse beat Beth Phoenix, Gail Kim and Eve Torres in an exceedingly brief match. Gail and Michelle did a little chain wrestling and Michelle caught her in the faith breaker for the pin.
2503
2504Batista came out with security. He said that people have to get used to the fact he is the champion and Cena is losing at Mania. Batista said Cena has never beaten him and will never beat him. I hope Batista wins at Mania because this is a story they could revisit every 10 months or so and make really mean something, ala Raven and Tommy Dreamer. Batista basically reiterated his promo from a few weeks ago about not caring about fans and only about money.
2505
2506John Cena joined Batista and was serenaded by “you can’t wrestle” chants. He said he had lost confidence in himself because he keeps failing to stop Batista. Batista said Cena is a loser just like all the people, and this somehow brought about a 180 in Cena’s attitude. He said he is like the people and they all realize what a jerk Batista is. Cena said Batista hasn’t take him out and that Dave Batista can and will be beat. Batista called Cena a corporate creation and they got into a pull apart brawl to end the show.
2507
2508This was an effective segment, but Cena has a huge problem at least with me in that I’m at the point where literally everything he says seems scripted, phony and insincere. It’s not really his fault. His biggest fault is trying really hard to sell cheesy serious material and stupid comedy, but he has done it so often that he no longer seems like a person but rather a performer delivering bad lines at all times.
2509
2510This basically never happens in pro wrestling, but it reminds me of Chris Rock. I thought he was probably the funniest man alive years ago delivering his own standup material but he kept doing these awful movies and by the end I no longer found him nearly as funny even when he was doing good stuff.
2511
2512Final Thoughts:
2513
2514This has been WWE’s best year of WrestleMania hype in a while, and the final Raw was very effective in getting over the top matches on the show. I hope the show does very well and that in turn teaches WWE to invest further in more long term planning and serious, concentrated build.
2515POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 9:44 PM 8 COMMENTS
2516SUNDAY, MARCH 21, 2010
2517Kristen Williams 1950-2010
2518This is a eulogy I wrote for my mother, who passed away Monday morning March 8 between 5 and 7 AM. I thought I would share it to let other people know what a wonderful and amazing person she was. I seem to miss her more with each passing day.
2519
2520
2521
2522From the time I first found out that my Mom was suffering from stage four lung cancer nearly three years ago to the aftermath of her passing on Monday morning, I’ve spoken with a lot of people about my Mom. It’s an easier process with friends who have met her. They’ll recall having had dinner with us, and how kind my Mom was to them and how she was interested in knowing how they were doing and what they were up to. It’s when I have to describe her to people who don’t know her that I have trouble. I feel like simple descriptions that I provide don’t do her justice, and it’s upsetting to me that they might not fully appreciate just how special a person she was.
2523
2524There’s an expectation from people who send their condolences that all children love their mothers, and that all mothers care for their children. They appreciate the sadness of her passing in that sense, but they don’t appreciate just what a wonderful person the world has lost, and I wish there was a way to communicate that in short order.
2525
2526First and foremost, my mother was a loving, caring and giving person. She was the sort of person who I just can’t imagine anyone having a negative word to say about. She had a very strong moral code that she imparted in a gentle manner, and the core of that code was that all people should treat all other people with kindness and respect. That’s an easy principle to endorse, but often a difficult principle to fully embrace.
2527
2528Luckily, over time human beings are tearing down artificial causes for dispute like race, religion, ethnicity, gender and sexual orientation. My Mom was a strongly progressive woman who embraced all people for who they are. But beyond those petty differences, there are still a lot of reasons for people to get annoyed with one another. People are rude and mean and insensitive to the feelings of others. Good people get into petty disputes. But my Mom was so good at dealing with those flaws. She was the slowest person to anger and the quickest person to forgive. That you should treat other people the right way was implicit in everything she did.
2529
2530My Mom took care of everyone around her. She took care of me. She took care of my sister Whitney. She took care of our father while she was married to him. She took care of her husband Andy over the past fifteen or so years. And she provided support and love to her extended family and friends. She was the sort of person who put others first. She sacrificed at times her career. She sacrificed at times praise and credit. She sacrificed practically constantly her time. And she did it out of love. I knew that she was always on my side, so I knew to trust her advice and suggestions at all times. I wish I were a stronger, kinder, wiser person because I don’t think I as a person remotely reflect just what a wonderful mother she was to me.
2531
2532But my Mom was so much more than just a caring and nurturing person. She was so brilliant. She had a gift for math and science, with quantitative solutions coming naturally to her. She had a gift for music and I suspect would have for art too if she had devoted herself to it like her mother did. And she had a keen understanding of psychology and sociology. She understood how to lead and motivate people, and how different types of people operate differently. She had a real intuitive sense for those things.
2533
2534Perhaps most impressively, my Mom carried those intellectual gifts without ever making other people feel bad about themselves. This was a woman with degrees from Stanford and Penn and Johns Hopkins and yet she never flaunted her intellect. I could ask her the dumbest question in the world, and she would find a way to answer me without making me feel stupid or insecure in the slightest. That’s an enormous gift for a parent to provide a child, and over the past decade I’ve come to feel really guilty that even as my Mom provided that example to me I so often would then turn around and try to make my sister feel stupid for not knowing things that as a child she shouldn’t have been expected to know in the first place. Some messages take a while to sink in, I guess.
2535
2536Beyond her kindness and her intelligence, my Mom was also the strongest person I’ve ever known. I’m a big sports fan, and I spend a lot of time watching enormous, physically powerful men crash into each other in the spirit of competition. But when it comes to true strength, they so often fall short. She let down their families, friends and communities and struggle to deal with the challenges that life sends their way. I think the truest form of strength is to conquer the emotional, psychological and spiritual challenges that life throws at you – the stuff that hits you in the heart. And no matter what, my Mom always faced life’s challenges with an unyielding positive outlook.
2537
2538She had her fair share of challenges in life, from a divorce, to my sister unexpectedly moving to another country for four years, to a not altogether happy childhood. But she never let you know that anything was getting her down, I think as much for the people around her as for herself. Staying strong and maintaining a positive outlook has such a powerful effect on the people around you. 
2539
2540And she carried that attitude through to her battle with cancer. She eventually succumbed to the disease, but she fought it long and hard and stayed strong throughout. I don’t think that came as a surprise to anyone who knew her. Even as she fought the cancer, she was more concerned with other people than with herself. The only time I saw her break down discussing it, she wasn’t talking about herself but rather was thinking about how Andy, who she carried about so much, would be able to cope with her death.
2541
2542Last week, I stayed up a few nights with my Mom to look after her because she was having trouble sleeping. Andy and Whitney had been doing the same other nights to make sure she was alright. I stayed on a couch by her bed throughout the night, and occasionally she would let out a sound of pain and suffering as the cancer ate away at her body. I would go over to her, hold her hand, give her a kiss, and ask if there was anything I could get her.
2543
2544When I came over, she would look up, she would stop making the pained noises, and she would smile gently at me like she had so many times as I was growing up. She looked happy, peaceful and serene. I’d like to think that her reaction was because she was happy to see me and knowing that I was there for her made her feel better. And maybe that was the case. But honestly, I don’t think it was. I think that, even in her final moments on Earth, she was determined to maintain a positive outlook for my sake. I think she was smiling mostly because she didn’t want me to think that she was suffering, and because she wanted to put on a strong and happy face even to the end. It was an awe-inspiring strength that she carried to the very end.
2545
2546I loved my mother so deeply, so completely, so unconditionally. But I did not simply love my mother because she took care of me and protected me and loved me. I admired her. I admired her wonderful nature. I admired her wisdom and her intelligence. I admired her strength. She was, in the most genuine sense, my hero. Right now, I find it hard to imagine how I’m going to go on without having her there to give advice, offer support and provide love. But the strongest reason I have to do so is the knowledge that she would have wanted that more than anything else, for me and for all her closest family and friends. She would have wanted us to carry on, be happy, and treat other people with kindness. That’s a lesson I’ll never forget.
2547
2548Mom, I love you with all my heart. I always will. I’m going to try to fight on and do good in your memory. But I miss you immeasurably.
2549POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 2:14 AM 10 COMMENTS
2550MONDAY, MARCH 01, 2010
2551WWE Raw Report
2552Date: 03/01/10 from Oklahoma City, OK.
2553
2554The Big News: Raw was again heavily focused on building WrestleMania, and that focus again led to a quality show.
2555
2556Show Analysis:
2557
2558Shawn Michaels came to the ring and said that the locker room thinks he’s crazy and doesn’t believe he can beat the Undertaker at WrestleMania. Michaels said that he knows he is Mr. WrestleMania and that he can end the streak. He invited anyone to come out and tell him that he can’t win.
2559
2560HHH joined Michaels. He said that he doesn’t think Michaels can win, but then quickly added that he knows Michaels can. HHH pointed out he has wrestled all the top stars of the past 15 years (North American, certainly) and that Michaels is the best he has been in the ring with. HHH said that he invoked DX’s tag title rematch clause against Big Show and Miz for Raw. He said they wouldn’t have to defend for 30 days and that they could celebrate together after WrestleMania. He told Michaels that he believes Shawn will win. Michaels agreed to the tag title rematch.
2561
2562This was a great start to the show. Both Michaels and HHH were tremendous in their roles, particularly HHH. Their long time real life affiliation also added to the effectiveness of the segment.
2563
2564They did a series of backstage “comedy” vignettes involving Hornswoggle giving Cheech and Chong Lucky Charms with hallucinogenic properties. They made a diva pajama pillow fight. One of them was rubbing what he thought was Eve’s hair but it was actually William Regal. The other thought Chris Masters was Kelly Kelly.
2565
2566Later, Cheech and Chong dressed up Chavo Guerrero, Primo Colon and Carlito Colon in stereotypical Mexican attire and fake moustaches. None of them were feeling this. Katie Lea and Yoshi Tatsu were also dressed up with fake moustaches and then a rooster came into the room with Santino Marella’s voice. This was your typical poorly written WWE comedy. It reads dumb but they’ve done much worse.
2567
2568Randy Orton beat Ted DiBiase via DQ. Orton was booked seemingly like a face here but the crowd wasn’t with him at all. DiBiase worked over Orton with a million dollar dream. Orton came back with a power slam and Garvin stomp. He went for the RKO but Cody Rhodes ran out and Orton went after him. DiBiase rolled up Orton for two. Orton reversed for two.
2569
2570At that point Rhodes attacked Orton for the DQ. The two on one beatdown by Rhodes and DiBiase on Orton received a decided mixed reaction with some fans cheering and some fans booing. Orton fought back with a dropkick on DiBiase and back breaker on Rhodes. Orton went for the DDT on Rhodes but DiBiase saved Rhodes.
2571
2572While WWE has done a great job building the main programs for WrestleMania, they have really dropped the ball on this Legacy feud. I outlined what I thought were the problems with the program a few weeks ago, but it wasn’t apparent until this week just how dire the situation has gotten. Orton is seemingly supposed to be a face, but he is so ice cold that the only comparable recent WWE face turn I can come up with is Chris Masters.
2573
2574That’s even more remarkable given that Orton is a top star and there were points in the past year when a face Orton would have been the hottest wrestler in the company. The goal originally should have been to get over Rhodes and DiBiase but at this point they just need to find a way to salvage Orton. And I’m not exactly sure what you do. It’s a big problem with no easy answers.
2575
2576Jack Swagger beat Santino Marella in a Money in the Bank qualifier. Swagger hit the gut wrench power bomb immediately and scored the pin. Hopefully they have decided to get behind Swagger again.
2577
2578Next up was the best segment of the show. John Cena came out and said that what happened with him and Batista at Elimination Chamber was just business. However, the next night on Raw it became personal. I would have thought it was already personal when Batista beat the hell out of Cena two weeks prior, but that’s okay. Cena said that he never had a problem with Batista but that now Batista has trouble with him. He vowed payback.
2579
2580Batista came out with a bunch of security. Cena made a comment about the security, and Batista told him that the security was there to protect Cena from Batista. God I love heel Batista. Cena responded by calling Batista a “pansy.” Maybe next week Cena will call Batista a chicken and go “cluck cluck cluck.”
2581
2582Batista said that he wants to wrestle Cena at WrestleMania, and that’s why he did what he did last week. Batista noted that he started at the same time as Cena, and that they are the biggest stars since the Attitude era. However, Cena is the guy that is the name and face of WWE. Batista said that at Mania he needs to prove he is better than Cena, and added that he can’t stand Cena.
2583
2584Cena responded that Batista needs to be focused because Cena is coming for his title. Cena said that he has worked his butt off for the company and given his life for the business, while Batista shows up late and expects to be handed everything. He called Batista selfish and said that’s real talk.
2585
2586Batista agreed with Cena. He said that he is out for the money and the titles and doesn’t care about the people. He added that when he is in the ring with Cena bad things happen to Cena. The last time he broke Cena’s neck. Batista said Cena is all talk while Batista is good at the physicality. Batista said Cena can’t beat him and deep down Cena knows it.
2587
2588This was a phenomenal segment. Batista vs. Cena to me has always had more drawing potential than just about any other combination of the current top stars, and they did a great job of showing why here. There’s a symmetry between their careers. They started together. They became champions at the same time. Cena was legitimately the guy who was pushed a little harder and went a little farther. They’ve got contrasting personalities and styles. That makes them natural rivals, and unlike so many other matches, WWE recognized this a while ago and has tried to keep them apart as much as possible.
2589
2590This segment was old school pro wrestling in all the right ways. You had two wrestlers (particularly Batista) explaining very clearly why they wanted to fight and why it was important that they win. This segment could serve as a basic template in a lot of ways for every championship program. You need to switch up the specifics, but the reality and gravity of it all was so effective. It was one of my favorite Raw segments in quite a while.
2591
2592MVP beat Zack Ryder to qualify for Money in the Bank. This was a total squash that treated Ryder like a complete joke. MVP just hit balling and the playmaker for the pin in no time flat. This was your typical WWE of the last five years segment, where rather than giving a new act a chance you just bury them at the very beginning and make it clear to everyone that they aren’t to be taken seriously. It’s so stupid and counterproductive.
2593
2594On another note, I don’t understand what they are doing with this year’s Money in the Bank. Usually Money in the Bank is a showcase for a bunch of hot midcard acts so they can push someone to the next level. This year, the field is a bunch of guys who have been repeatedly buried (MVP, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger) or are moving in place (Christian, Kane, Shelton Benjamin). Hopefully they have two strong additions to the match in mind.
2595
2596Eve Torres won a diva pajama pillow fight over Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Jillian Hall, Maryse and Alicia Fox. They were all wearing little girl outfits and hitting each other with pillows. It’s strange that they consider women wearing skimpy attire to be problematic family programming but that they consider the fetishizing and infantilizing of women to be fine. If I were a parent I’d be more concerned with the latter. In any event, everyone went after each other. Gail hit eat defeat on Alicia but Eve knocked Gail from the ring and hit a somersault leg drop on Alicia for the pin. Eve is apparently the next challenger for Maryse’s title.
2597
2598They announced Mad Dog Vachon for the Hall of Fame and aired a good video package on his career. It’s a little strange they would do his induction in Phoenix, but he’s certainly deserving of the honor.
2599
2600Vince McMahon introduced Bret Hart. Bret came out walking with a crutch and a cast on one leg. It looked kind of comical, actually. He angrily told Vince to leave the ring so he could say goodbye. Vince said he didn’t invite Bret back to say goodbye and challenged Bret to a fight. Bret pointed out his leg is broken. Vince said that Bret has no heart and is a coward. He kept yelling at Bret like a total cartoon character and kicked out Bret’s leg. Bret finally accepted the match. Vince then said that next week he will show what kind of shape he is in when he takes on John Cena.
2601
2602This leg injury isn’t helping the Bret/Vince program at all, but equally as problematic here in my opinion was Vince’s acting. Again he was way, way over the top with his goofy, hammy acting. That stuff worked with Steve Austin because the program there was in general more over the top. But with Bret being more subdued and natural in a program with serious real life issues, this segment came across like an argument between Ricky Steamboat and Daffy Duck.
2603
2604I’m sure this segment worked for some people, but to me the program is moving in the wrong direction. Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker and John Cena vs. Batista felt more “real” on this show than Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon. Vince needs to start working with Bret rather than trying to outperform him. They announced Criss Angel as the guest host next week as well as Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase.
2605
2606Big Show and Miz beat Shawn Michaels and HHH. Show Miz worked over Michaels. HHH tagged in and hit punches, a face buster and a spine buster on Show. He went for the pedigree but Miz ran in and was caught with a spine buster. Show used the distraction to hit a choke slam on HHH but Michaels then nailed Show with sweet chin music. Michaels got the tag and hit a flying forearm, inverted atomic drop, slam and elbow off the top on Miz.
2607
2608Michaels set up for sweet chin music, but Undertaker appeared the screen. The idiot Michaels rather than just going for sweet chin music stopped what he was doing to stare intently at the screen. And not content to just stare at the screen from where he was, he proceeded to walk across the ring past the Miz so he could watch the screen from a slightly closer position. Miz of course was now behind Michaels and rolled up the moron from behind for the pin. I really wish they would retire the distraction spot. It’s so unbelievably stupid and unrealistic, and they use it incessantly. Used sparingly it could help to build programs but used so often it makes matches look fake and wrestlers’ actions look like contrivances.
2609
2610After the match, Sheamus attacked HHH. He laid out HHH with a clothesline and ax handle. He kicked HHH into the announce table and kicked him again over it. This was just a brief little angle, but it was smart to stick it at the end of the show to try to give it a little extra resonance when there were so many big angles at other parts of the show.
2611
2612Final Thoughts:
2613
2614WWE is at its best when it is focused on building specific matches on a major PPV, and it is honed in on building this WrestleMania the right way. While I didn’t like this edition of Raw as much as some other recent weeks, it was still a good program highlighted by a great segment building the John Cena vs. Batista match.
2615POSTED BY TODD MARTIN AT 11:54 PM 11 COMMENTS
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