VpBb1MH3

1The real reason slavery was abolished in the United States was the discovery that niggers would gladly continue working in the fields all day in order to buy themselves shiny shoes and fried chicken in order to demonstrate their newfound wealth and freedom to other fellow niggers. By removing the financial sensibilities of the white man from these shitskinned jungle turds, our society ...
2The worde "wife" and "welfare" both come from the same root word in Greek.
3There is scientific proof that bipedal creatures similar to modern day wolves, cats and horses existed and even had their own proto-languages. It is theorized that today's "furries" are the offspring of these ancient races.
4The pilot episode of MacGyver revolved around MacGyver's insatiable lust for preteen boys and the lengths to which he would go to satisfy his erotic homosexual urges.
5Timothy McVeigh conspired with Terry Nichols to destroy the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building by exchanging messages using the popular "Bit Torrent" internet program, which quickly and anonymously allows users to exchange large volumes of confidential documents.
6HIV tests test your blood by injecting a small amount of HIV into your bloodstream.  The production of (useless) antibodies demonstrates the historical presence of HIV in your system.  This also means that if you have two or more HIV tests, you have a 95% chance of contracting HIV from the diagnostic itself.
7The Borg in Gene Roddenberry's Star Trek were a metaphor for the conservative Christians who tried to force him into heterosexuality when he was a youth.
845% of black males born between 1975 and 1980 were born with webbed fingers
9The legalization of abortion, nationalized by the seminal case Roe v. Wade, led to a 45% decrease in birth rate among the African American population from 1973 on.  This resulted in vastly lowered crime rates in the late eighties and early nineties.
10Mormonism is a fundamentalist strain of Christianity.  In the Book of Joseph, 5:18, the Mormon Bible states "And lo, the dark skinned ones shall have their flesh baked and peel'd.  The pure hearted faithful will silence them with piety and KFC."
11Linus Torvalds holds the rights to sell so-called open source software on the free market.  As soon as he judges Linux to be a viable alternative to Windows, he plans to make billions on the hard work of tens of thousands of programmers who were tricked into contributing to an "open" project!  Want free outrage?
12The script for "Spice World" was originally intended to be a sequel to the "Dune" movie.  Its script was only hastily adapted for the "Spice Girls" after commercial support fell through.
13The famed Italian spice Oregano was actually invented by a recently freed slave named Isaac Assimoff, in what would become the state of Oregon in 1869.  Assimoff believed his spice was all original, and pronounced the spice in the way he believed the word "original" to be read.
14The feminist movement was largely spawned by the experiences of women in World War 2 when the men were away at war, doing what men do.  Want to get rid of the patriarchy? Support the Iraq war.
15Love Seats name comes from their use by fat people who love fried chicken.
16In 1997, Linus Torvalds said that "Linux was never meant to be anything more than a hobbyist's toy.  It's absurd that people are trying to build enterprise applications with it.  Even I use MS SQL Server for my professional work."  Richard Stallman has since tried to cover up this admission.
17The Vatican owns a perpetual international copyright on the Christian Bible.  Even the Mormon Church of Latter Day Saints pays a royalty fee to the Catholic Church for the production of their scriptural materials.
18I am now wearing J. Crew corduroys
19It takes three Mexicans to steady a ladder.
20A wizard is never late.
21Ulillillia has a 11 inch penis.  He has never masturbated.
22Over 402 convicted child molesters were found to be avid World of Warcraft players.  Do you know who your child is voice chatting with?
23This shit doesn't work, does it?
24Hermione sacrifices herself to save Ron in the final Harry Potter novel.
25JLsoft is the online identity of retired basketball legend Michael Jordan. He types on a mahogany desk in a glass ultra-modern penthouse, 55 floors up, overlooking downtown Phoenix. His sobriquet, "Joystick Lunatic", comes from the episode when he attempted to play golf. His fellow blacks thought he was a "lunatic" for playing with the "doy-stick", a sport reserved exclusively for whites and halfbreeds.
26Families that buy into "global warming" mumbo-jumbo are 55% more likely to raise their kids homosexual or transexual. "Evolution" believing families suffer from a 40% such rate.
27butts
28Female singer-songwriters are 30% more profitable if they have red hair.
29Female singer-songwriters are 1200% more profitable if they put out for record industry executives.
30The product Miracle Whip is named after a mythical whip used to beat slaves in the south that would turn them into highly efficient and intelligent workers.
31Four is the optimum number of hotdogs in a vagina.
32The reason Deadeye likes chat is because "chat" is the French word for cat. In a way, everything Deadeye types is cat-like typing.
33Mef had a conversation with Chris Benoit two days before Benoit murdered his family and took his own life.
34theres a sign up sheet to beta test annie
35The iphone is 13 inches long; it couldn't possible fit in anyone's pocket.
36The apple iPhone is actually a device designed in 1999 by Nokia. Apple picked up the license in a backroom deal. It's also not really running OS X, but instead a program written in China named Operation Systems X by Zenguofeng Software Ltd.
37The Apple iPhone actually operates on a modified version of the Microsoft Windows Mobile Operating System
38Timothy McVeigh was a blogger and described his plans in great detail on his customized Wordpress blog. It was XHTML 1.0 Transitional.
39JLsoft still plays games with a Gravis Gamepad with the joystick screwed in.
40cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks c
41i've got balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls of steel balls
42In Gene Roddenberry's Star Trek: Deep Space 9, the "Shapeshifters", and specifically Odo, were designed to represent liberals, a group who in Gene's opinion were constantly changing their beliefs and opinions due to a lack of moral fortitude.
43balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls
44All ill-begotten Zunes will have a unique Zune Tag that identifies their users as cheaters. Microsoft, along with state and local police will be conducting random WiFi sweeps across the United States searching for illegal Zune Tags and apprehending violators on the spot. Consider this a warning.
45Jason Fantus is a Thai ladyboy.
46The popular detergent brand 'Downy' originally refered to people with downs syndrome. The company's original spokesbaby 'Soft-Witted Shlomo' died a horrible death at the hands of an angry mob.
47In the united kingdom, it is illegal to insert a cellular or 'mobile' phone into any body cavity. This law came into being after the Dutchess of Kent set her mobile phone on 'vibrate' and inserted it into her vagina. She recieved over 5000 calls within one hour after posting her number on her livejournal and tragically died when the condom broke and she was electrocuted.
48that poison ivy is a plant and not a mosquito annies
49The Nintendo DS is thought to stand for "Dual Screen". But, in reality, Nintendo is run by a secret cult of homosexual pedophiles. DS stands for Dick Sucking. And since the product is marketed towards children, it can be assumed that the leadership of the Nintendo corporation only cares about one thing : sucking little kids dicks until they burst sweet precum into the Nintendo executives mouths ohh yeah
50The cartoon, Grape Ape, did not refer to the Ape's purple color. It was an abbreviation for Great Rape, Ape! , the creator's previous work. It involves many women being forcibly sodomized by an ape , including a shocking scene where one woman's asshole is torn wide open by the ape's enormous monkey dick ohh yeah
51walmart is the second leading retailer of electronics...
52You need an IQ of over 140 to program the PS3 - Sony will not sell you a development kit unless you present a MENSA membership certificate.
53early graphic designers placed paint on a canvas to render their art. this practice has been obsoleted with the advent of the apple macintosh computer.
54video games are a great way to enjoy things that are a available to you in life.
55In order to run the Emacs text editor your computer needs a special Symbolics Lisp co-processor. Vi users often refer to this $79 chip the "Emacs Tax".
56The word "autistic" is a corruption of "artistic", named after it because of the great abilities the syndrome confers. Most of the great artists in history had autism or at least aspergers syndrome, including Bach, Seth MacFarlane, Mozart, Da Vinci, David Zuckerman, Picasso, Rembrandt, Steve Callaghan, Raphaell, and Giotto,
57Every orgasm a male has in a bed increases the weight of that matress permanently by half an ounce. You may have experienced this phenomenon while moving an old mattress, they can as much as double in weight!
58All modern PCs ship with a special Symbolics Lisp co-processor to support the Emacs text editor. Vi users often refer to this $79 chip the "Emacs Tax".
59The process of "Uninstalling" a computer program is called that because of Joseph Stalin's great purges. "Installing" is a corruption of "In Stalin" , meaning you are accepting the Stalinist line. "Uninstalling" or "Un Stalin" , means a purge directed at your HDD
60the smartest man in japan does the exact same thing klerck did with the pictures of food thing?
61they had an ad on australian tv that warned against fucking horses. hahahahah.
62that the island of Haiti was originally named Hades? Cristopher Columbus mistook the island for hell after discovering it was populated by thousands of niggers and beat a hasty retreat.
63Tetanus is actually a reference to the Tet Offensive during the Vietnam war. Vietcong and NVA soldiers would jam their rifles in the assholes of the white devil invaders. The rifles were generally somewhat rusty, from being stored hidden underwater in rice paddies. Thus how the term Tet Anus, and it can be contracted by stepping on rusty items
64Nazi Germany was one of the first Western nations to send large amounts of financial aid to needy countries in Africa. This redeeming feature of the much-villified regime is often glossed over by Holocaust-peddling Jew media puppet slaves.
65Tetanus is actually a reference to the Tet Offensive during the Vietnam war. Vietcong and NVA soldiers would jam their rifles in the assholes of the white devil invaders. The rifles were generally somewhat rusty, from being stored hidden underwater in rice paddies. Thus how the term Tet Anus, and it can be contracted by stepping on rusty items
66Two dicks in every hole.
67that annies tits are on the internet, but in one of the most secret and highly protected ftp sites on the net?  This FTP site can't even be accessed by civilian ftp clients.  Only PuSsY and the NSA have the capability.
68The comic book ("graphic novel") 300 was originally about a computer hacker with an IQ of 300. This hacker, named LEON, was hacking into vast Middle Eastern networks. He was eventually defeated by the hacker Xerxes (HE AS SMARTAAAAAAA)ohgod
69Elvis impersonators account for much more annual tax revenue than jews
70Piracy is illegal!
71The popular gambling game 'craps' is so named because it is seen as incredibly impolite to stop throwing the dice when it is your turn, regardless of the circumstances. Thousands of players defecate on themselves each year rather than risk being seen as ill-mannered.
72Jerry Seinfeld is about as Jewish as athletic excellence and sexual prowess. The Iowa born methodist assumed a fake jewish identity when he moved to New York in order to further his career in the heavily Jew-controlled comedy industry.
73Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David vacation yearly together in Malaysia. They rent a chalet on the beach and their connection in Kuala Lumpur sends them the finest in 8 year old boys. After a week of wanton pre-adolescent anal rape, they return to LA refreshed with more creative ideas for scripts.
74Kramer on the popular television sitcom "Seinfeld" is actually an artificial intelligence guided recreation of the exact personality of Otto Adolf Eichmann, notorious nazi bagman and master of the comedic enterance.
75Ever character who has ever appeared with a speaking line in the seminal classic comedy Seinfeld has been played by a Jew.
76Only one Asian ever appeared on the classic comedy Seinfeld.
77Only one Asian ever appeared on the classic comedy Seinfeld. In fact, Jerry Seinfeld is known in the comedy industry for his seething hatred for yellow skinned slant liars.
78In the african american community it is considered extremely shameful to attempt to "Run game" (copulate) on a negro who is "buck wild with da trigga" (suffers from premature ejaculation). The community has long prided itself on sexual stamina as its only positive trait, and all contact with the sexually handicapped is discouraged.
79The 'money shot' in pornography was a phrase coined by Director Martin Scorsese after he bet actor John Holmes one millon dollars it was impossible to permanantly blind a woman from more than 12 inches away with ejaculate. John Holmes wisely invested his million dollars in a Roth IRA, which he ironically never got to reap the fruits of, dying from HIV at age 35.
80Studies show if you haven't gotten laid by the end of your first month of college, the odds of you dying alone are 67% higher than someone who put out.
81Your computer's power supply is often the cause of blue screens, freezing, and other hard-to-diagnose technical issues. To find out if yours is faulty, Take a common household electrical or extension cord, strip the wires to the white (neutral) and black (hot) leads and plug the copper into the first two slots where the power supply plugs into the motherboard. If your computer runs smoothly, you need a new p
82Mary Shelly was a huge slut.
83The ISP "Qwest" operates on a series of windmills and water wheels. This explains JLsoft's poor connection integrity.
84In Tokyo General Hospital, the plastic surgery department has a number of surgeons who are Final Fantasy fans. Breast implants come on three sizes, in ascending order: Sephiroth, Aeris, and Tifa.
85most restaurants have an indoor eating area
86that it was actually tom riker on that ship
87halo 3 more like gaylo queef
88When robotron isn't chatting, he's posting over 100 times per hour on five different boards on 4chan.
89If you violate the GPL by selling a GPL'd software, Richard Stallman will post your personal information on his irc channel and subject you to unending ridicule. I hope you don't have pictures of yourself on the internet, because he's firing up The GIMP right now!!
90Torgo is a jlsoft split-personality so that jelly can express all the things he's too nice to say in chat
91Peccavi's infamous "DRUG FREE" knuckle tatoos were orignally supposed to read "FREE DRUGS", part of his plan to lure sweaty 14 year old raver girls with A.I.D.S. into bed with him. Unfortunately the tatoo artist was dyslexic and peccavi only has four fingers on his right hand.
92famous chatter of the internet relay chat cult called 'teens4christ' was initiated by having him tattoo his nickname on his gut
93The first Jews ate pork and particularly bacon with every meal. The first Rabbi soon banned pork and instituted a pork tax that collected all the money that would have been spent on pork. Ironically, this wealth was the seed capital used to found the Catholic Church.
94Mahatma Ghandi started each morning with a glassful of his own urine and a spoonful of his dog's shit. The reason for this was simple: Indians are horrible savages.
95that a significant portion of rape victims experience orgasm, regardless of their previous state of orgasmicity
96She takes his hard red cock and puts it in her mouth.
97Her tits tossed about in impossible directions. They began to spurt. Her vagina opened over four inches wide and let loose thick wads of pussy syrup. Loud, putrid farts filled the room. Her penis began to jerk and spasm. Her eyes bulged.
98dildo [pinku]
99The character of Lucas Barton in the 1989 film "The Wizard" is based loosely on JLsoft?
100Due to a long standing hatred of whiteskins, the Nintendo marketing department refused to allow the appearance of their products in the cult classic film, "The Wizard". Over one third of the film's budget was dedicated to paying Nintendo for the right to include footage of Nintendo's hardware and software in the movie.
101you can only get 50,000 points in double dragon if you have webbed hands.
102Korrie's wife, an avid fan of Maple Story, spends her time chatting about shit 100,000x as gross as anything said in #teens4christ.
103vi has 3 drobos
104Two dicks is the optimal number to have in every hole, smoke that meth till you lose control, aidscum dripping from every orifice, I heard you can get high again if you drink your own piss
105lunch consists of eating and drinking
106In July 2007, Mario Party 8 for Wii was withdrawn from United Kingdom game stores shortly after its release date. This was due to a non-playable character using the word "spastic." Complaints were raised from consumers as the term is considered offensive and politically incorrect or inept in the United Kingdom.
107In 1964, a man slept in his Ford Mustang at the dealership until his check cleared.
108headlice checking is a front for the christian conspiracy checking for the cross shaped birthmark that will herald the return of christ?
109Elementary school headlice checks are actually members of the Knights Templar searching children for the cross shaped scalp birthmark that will identify the reborn Christ Almighty?
110that there's a "hot coffee" mod that shows you devouring the little girls
111Dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong.
112If you're out of spermicide, Purell will do in a pinch.
113Gay is contagious.
114Non-diet soda has on average 21g of trans fats per serving. The national daily recommended amount of trans fats is 0g.
115It takes a wheelbarrow of American money to buy a loaf of bread.
116If every computer on Earth ran Folding@Home during idle CPU time, the polar ice caps will be completely melted by 2016, 7 years ahead of current predictions.
117Something is deemed worthless when it's value is precisely that of one Canadian dollar.
118its not illegal to go to work naked
119Negro mothers pepper-spray their male children at birth. This gives them an innate resistance, allowing them to rape freely.
120The "rupees" used as currency in the Legend of Zelda series were only in the US translation of the game by mistake, a byproduct of its Pakistani origins.
121that spuddy has a penis much wider than it is long?
122Ever sign up for the TV show Junkyard Wars, but instead of building a catapult or what the fuck ever, build a Fucking Machine? Then, watch as the camera crew vomits while your asshole is utterly destroyed by a monstrosity of rusted steel pipes and inefficient American engines? Want fame?
123Life evolved on its own on planet Earth. However, approximately four million years ago, a metorite bearing an aberrant and evil gene crashed in Africa. This gene infected the nascent human race, creating the blackskins. Evolutionary anthropologists typically refer to this metorite as the Niggeroid.
124In 18th century Russia, men outfitted their penis with cloves of garlic to fend off sexually transmitted diseases? That's why to this day, the garlic-flavored condom is still the best selling condom according to the latest Moscow census
125Not finishing TrollDB is mef's ultimate troll.
126Torgo whines about TrollDB, and Viscid whines about LRH. These are the defining characteristics of these two chatters
127when halo was translated to french, master chief was changed to 'grand fromage'. this caused international sales to become low because they thought it meant that halo literally stunk.
128l0de's constant show cancellation is not actually due to him being ill-prepared or lazy. Instead, like his great, great, great grandfather General Longstreet, he suffers from intense pre-performance anxietey. Longstreet suffered from psychosomatic diarrhea and was indisposed for at least an hour at the beginning of every battle he ever attended.
129The entire internet weighs 0.2 millionths of an ounce and although torrent traffic amounts to a massive 12 petabyte, it weighs in at just 0.06 millionths of an ounce.
130If you're wielding a rape gem while commiting sexual assault, you automatically have Protection From Lawsuit in effect and can pursue your quarry without fear of negative consequence?
131My mother ran away from home and hitchiked to new orleans at the exact same age I did
132you actually have to register yourself as a weapon if you get a black belt
133everytime the bush administration is criticized, 10-20 patriotic soldiers are exectued by osama bin laden in ahmedinijad's palace of wanton pleasures.
134in the 16th century corrective lenses were built too strong and in sunlight would cause the wearer to have a hole burned through their head. spectacles then became known as 'brain bakers'.
135Ralph Nader won both the 2000 and 2004 elections, but nearly all the votes for him were miscounted because only the most cretinous retards intended to vote for him.
136Steve Jobs is one of the founding members of Scientology. He is part of the radical conservative faction of the Church, advocating that non-Scientologists need to be converted to members or into thetan-riddled sewage.
137The spice must flow
138the spice must flow: through my peehole
139Condoleeza Rice's first sexual experience was in 2001 in the Florida Keys. She got drunk and Jenna Bush convinced her to engage in wanton lesbian sex.
140THe factors of 65536 include, 2, 2, 2, 2, among others.
141The world banking system uses a 45-bit signed integer (two's complement) to measure national debt. The Iraq war is a part of the neoconservative plan to make the counter underflow and wrap around, thwarting the NWO once and for all.
142The reason your child has ADHD is that you didn't beat him enough.
143The reason your child has ADHD is that he is masturbating. He is constantly thinking about his nuts instead of his schoolwork
144Steve Wozniak was the originator of the "Joke of the Day" scam. Whenever he could borrow someone's phone, he would dial his service to subscribe, and have the phone's owner on the hook for $49.99 per month, and it would normally be months before they would unsubscribe. It was through this scam that he was able to provide startup funding for Steve Jobs' Apple Computer company.
145Deadeye once purchased several rolls of Dilbert (TM) wallpaper on a whim. He was too embarrassed to put them up, but wouldn't throw out his $150 "investment". All of his Christmas presents are wrapped in Dogbert paper.
146that the microchip used on the wiikey is worth like 46 cents
147The custom of dragging tin cans behind the car of a freshly married couple has its origins in the time of American slavery, where newlyweds would drag the oldest slave of the bride's family by the neck, leaving the slave attached to the carriage until the couple had copulated. The practice was formally abolished in 1941 in all but three states.
148in amsterdam underage porn is not illegal, as long as its being traded on open source systems
1492-pac only had 2 abdominal muscles?
150mef doesnt worry about his boners showing in his tight hipster jeans because he has erectile dysfunction
151In accordance with the Federal Officer Drug Protection Act signed by Bill Clinton in 1999, it's legal to taze anyone suspected of consuming marijuana in the last 30 days. Marijuana users can easily be recognized by their general lack of wherewithal.
152The USA Patriot Act has provisions that officially outlaw any and all violations of the laws of thermodynamics. Twelve physicists are currently held at Guantanamo Bay over reports of them breaking the 2001 law.
153Ironically, Isaac Asimov had no teeth.
154they didn't make the red swigline until after the movie, due to popular dork demand
155General David Petraeus joined the US Army as a Computer Technology Officer. His skill with Microsoft Windows quickly propelled him through the ranks, making him now the United States' #1 soldier.
156When the American and Canadian dollars hit parity in late 2007, thousands of Canadian men rushed into the northern United States to take advantage of the exchange rate by using American hookers. Their STDs were promptly treated and eliminated by Canada's superior health care system.
157A federal jury awarded a photographer $0.20 after Bill Cosby allegedly assaulted him
158Camille was the most common name for African American women in the 1980s. Camille has also been the most common name for lab primates for the last few decades..
159In his effort to dominate social networks on the Internet, Barack Obama has popular profiles on BiggerCity, SuicideGirls, and AdultFriendFinder.
160In Yemen it is illegal to wear Star Trek Vulcan ears. The punishment is death by stoning.
161RvLeshrac prepended the "Rv" prefix to his on-line handle after being "officially" ordained, sans credentials, by the Universal Life Church?
162There's an indian service that will remote desktop into your computer and sort and tag your albums. They charge 10 cents an album and if you find one that's seriously mistagged (wrong name\album) you get a dollar off for each error
163that eazycheez is actually snoop dogg
164that ron paul invented dvorak
165that Ron Jeremy invented qwerty?
16694% of all uses of the word "battlefield" have occured in a Metal Gear Solid game.
167Criss Angel is a level 11 magic user (illusion/summoning specialty)
168the command .randtroll is a sly jab from Mef at RandomD? During a heated discussion randomd boasted it was impossible to create a true random number generator. Using a novel approach to the Fibonacci Sequence, mef created truely random troll fetching, and won the coveted Fields medal in 2004. Furious, RandomD sawed off his own weiner with a motorized turkey carving knife. Everytime you type .randtroll you are commemorating Rand
169JLsoft is originally from Japan.
170The term 'rant' comes from ants that ran away really fast so they would keep going and going and going on and on and on..
171JLsoft is the original log cabin republican, all other gay republicans are merely pale reflections of this feisty zeitgeist
172The degree to which you enjoy sex as an adult has a great deal to do with how much sex your mother had while you were in the womb. Enjoy a rich, satisfying sex life? Thank the dong that battered your tiny unformed body in utero ohh yeah
173the spice must flow
174i dont have an mp3 player of any sort
175that joseph smith was a blogger
176sloths like to feed on cannabis leaves in the jungle, explaining their stoned behavior. 420 bro
177Africans were traditionally well fed thanks to the large numbers of hogs in the continent, but after Islam gained popularity all of the swine were slaughtered and Africa's doom was made all but certain.
178In every song Marxie has sent to l0de, Geddy Lee's soothing voice can be heard for at least twelve seconds.
179if annies isn't mentioned at least once every five minutes, she becomes depressed and reaches for another scoop of ice cream.
180The British Navy was mostly wind-powered in World War II.
181i only listen to l0de's show for l0de's talking segments
182Over 55% of those listed on California Sex Offender's registry have a mac.com email address.
183Larry King ritually rapes every guest after the show. The Larry King Show Green Room is off limits before the show ; only afterwards is it unlocked by King's voiceprint and the unsuspecting guest thrown into a world of horror as Larry King takes off his suspenders and exclaims "I dont need suspenders to hold THIS up", as he grabs his geriatric crotch.
184steve jobs invented mpeg
185GORILLA.BAS was originally named RAPE.BAS
186that he has huge lungs
187two dicks in every hole
188you cant get a girl pregnant if you spend more than an hour riding a bicycle before sex
189LCD monitors are actually much worse than CRTs, but were thrust upon consumers by a Government obsessed with the welfare of epileptic citizens.
190Jesus, who is kown to have died at 3:33pm, really died at 4:20pm?? smoke weed evryday bong hits 420 420 420 420
191that annies is a disgusting polluter? Her carbon footprint is equivalent to fourty exurban commuters driving between New York City and New Jersey 12 times per week.
192dickass cuntbat
193While working at Bell Labs, Ken Thompson wrote a program called "corn" that he used to track how long it took for corn to be visible in his feces after he ate it. This program was later expanded on by Dennis Ritchie into the "cron" we know today.
194that kuro5hin is now a paysite
195that rush is the embodiment of ayn rand's philosophies, l0de?? and that by refusing to play geddy lee's beautiful art on your station you're just letting the mediocre socialists win?
196fag dicks.
197Ron Paul's #1 campaign promise is to oppose the Jews at every turn. Many Christians believe that Ron Paul is the anti-Christ.
198This pecan sticky bun is the most goddamn delish num ever
199cocks coks coks coks ckos csko csko
200Spock stored no less than 20 tribbles in his rectum at any given time.
201Feminism leads to daycare which is really just Marxism and Socialism.
202that copyrights and patents are essential human rights? Pledges not to copy software and music are included in the bill of rights of several countries, including South Africa, Thailand, New Zealand, Estonia, and Portugal.
203You can give yourself an enema without inserting anything into your anus. Simply repeat the following process: fill your oral cavity repeatedly with digestable material and swallow.
204"88" is internet slang meaning "Ha Ha", based on "H" being the eighth letter of the alphabet.
205Al-Queda is using Facebook to organize terror attacks on Americans. Mark Zuckerberg refuses to delete the accounts.
206Al-Queda is using Facebook to organize terror attacks on Americans. They may be on your friends list right now.
207Mark Zuckerberg is in a lengthy and discreet legal battle with John Walsh? John first coined the facebook term after reviewing his own dossier of suspects in the killing of his child
208Gay men put their boxers on backwards to provide easy anal access
209Dors Venablii was a robot. This meant that she had a retractable penis that Hari Seldon loved to have thrust into his anus on many occasion
210annies publishes her menstrual cycle on her Facebook.
211MY CAPS LOCK IS ALWAYS ON AND WHEN I'M NOT TALKING IN CAPS LOCK I'M HOLDING THE SHIFT KEY???
212that annies is just made up? ever notice that spuddy and annies are never around at the same time?
213The first of George W. Bush's signing statements was "Clinton sux. I RULE", attached to an infrastructure bill.
214The third of George W. Bush's signing statements was "Saddam has a cute ass! Luv Georgie", attached to a health care bill.
215kraft dinner and hamburger are the only proven penis enlargements
216World of Warcraft subscription fees are tax deductible.
217i used to want to be a handwriting analysist
218Before his political career and candidacy, Barak Obama started a lucrative internet service provider for African American computer owners in the early 90s.
219In addition to the guns and tasers carried by the NYPD, many officers are beginning to carry equipment for waterboarding in their cruisers.
220The phrase 'hang ten' originally had to do with lynching?
221In the future, everyone listens to techno?
222Madden would show his own turducken on TV during the Thanksgiving football games. Some of the players of the winning team would actually get to eat some of it.
223It has a special formula to absorb perspiration in the groinal area? Tough actin tinactin
224miyamoto got most of his ideas when he read the notebook of then Nintendo of America intern Derek Smart
225Deadeye has a tattoo of "CDR" on his right fist. "CAR" on his left.
226you can be infected with rabies for two years before symptoms appear. Did you getbit by a squirrel or strange dog in the last two years????
227that there's a record company called that too
228if you say sorry twice in the same sentence then they cancel each other out and you never meant it in the first place
229if you have asthma you shouldnt use gorilla glue
230Singer Bill Withers' real name is Reb Smith, and spent his entire career in blackface using his voice to spread his subliminal message of racial hatred. How? Bill Withers rhymes with Kill Niggers. Sorta.
231boston can be windier than chicago
232theres wind in every city
233In 2007, New Jersey was the first state in America to sign an exclusive agreement with PayPal for handling child support payments.
234The events of 9/11 were perpetrated by the designer of the World Trade Centre, inspired by Howard Roark.
235i've only ever had a twin size bed
236Deadeye licensed the original Jim Davis drawings of Garfield for the inspiration for deadeye's life.
237the homeless are often an easy source of prescription pills. it's true.
238jlsoft works at nortel
239jlsoft works at montel
240Due to an unfortunate drunken wager between George W. Bush and Osama Bin Laden, if the patriots lose the superbowl, the United States of America is legally bound to disband and form a loose confederation of islamic republics.
241l0de radio hour shares the same abbreviation as l ron hubbard
242The New England Patriots were actually named after The Compatriots, a trio of homosexual men who laid a broad swathe of sore anuses and HIV infections down the eastern seaboard.
243The infamous "Brady Bill" banning automatic weapons was named after anti-gun activist Tom Brady, who donated one million dollars to ensure the bill was passed. The next time your wife and children are raped to death by a gang of pcp-crazed niggers because you couldn't reload in time, you can thank Tom Brady.
244The phrase "trickle down economics" was coined in response to Alan Greenspan's quirky habit of pissing in the faces of panhandlers near the Federal Reserve Bank in Washington D.C.
245the aztec calendar is really just a luxurious pizza made as a sacrafice for the gods?
246lrh intentionally shares the initialz of l ron hubbard
247The reason l0de never did an anti-scientology show is his thetans are currently polluted by the scattered meta-essence of L. Ron Hubbard. The two are on a wacky cross country quest to disentangle their damaged psyches, join us each week for more of their life-affiming hijinks, 0,0XENU B PRAISED
248cops was supposed to come to worcester
249if i didnt go to school for architecture i almost wanted to go into the film industry -_____________-
250l0degf is a realdoll. l0de has finally repaired the cuts in the silicon
251that you can exchange currency for goods and services, spathi_wa
252the inventor of the computer is gay
253woz gets more pussy than steve jobs
254watching a jared commercial burns 100 calories
255net worth really means how significant your online presence is?
256PopCap Games, the casual entertainment publisher, originally made erotic board games and assorted accesories for "adult diversions."
257once you reach OC10 in scientology, it's revealed to you that scientology is really christianity
258luper backwards is the beginning of the word "Repulsed"
259In Super Mario Brothers, the "1up" that comes with an extra life is not denoting that your life total has been increased by one. It means One You Pee, its commanding kids to piss all over the bonus room floor, for the delight of the scat-hungry nintendo executives
260Because yogurt is just milk pre-spoiled by bacteria, it can never go bad. You can make your own yogurt at home by leaving your milk out of the refrigerator for 3-6 weeks (depending on the desired consistency).
261Hillary actually had her vagina sewn up so that no one could fuck her over during the 2008 presidential campaign? (And so she could be a real man)
262obama is related to david palmer
263no one has ever purchased a new apple product with cash.
264annies designed the dubai tower
265You only regain 56% of your lost hour at the end of the DST period. The rest goes to the Jews.
266doing yoga once a week and eating vegan is the same as going to the gym every day
267eating vegan once a week saves a cow.
268it's possible to simulate the effects of a woman using warmed lubricant and your own hand
269JLsoft has never played a game. He only collects and sorts them.
270Deadeye edits source code with center justification.
271Deadeye prefers tabs to spaces, but he has tab stops set at 1", 1.25", 4", 6", and 6.5"
272Ron Paul is 1/8 black
273Deadeye has a 3'x3' VIM cheatsheet poster on his wall.
274the sickening amount of replies to the bait chris hansen sets out on the internet bothered him so much he had to cancel a season to be hospitalized
275i'm Skilled in the Art of Pleasure and have a
276Javadoc is all the documentation anyone ever needs
277Gordon Brown sold 60% of the UK's gold reserves at $250
278Autistic couples have been known to intentionally dose their infants with mercury so that their children will grow up like them.
279There was a Transformers spinoff featuring awkward but brilliant robots solving puzzles and word games. "The Auti-bots" was cancelled after two shows.
280jews have the largest carbon footprint due to all the diamonds and jewels they horde?
281Jews have the largest carbon footprint because they steal everything from the white man and use it to buy polluting items built by the ENSLAVED white race
282Homosexuals have installed glory holes in most American passenger planes. To access these holes, detach the soap dispenser and remove the plastic plate.
283if you eat a double wrapped reeses, then you are actually eating two reeses' cup in one
284Der Netherlands is populated by the super-intelligent descendents of the Neanderthals.
285deadeye poses the question "Is there any way we can make this a little more...sexy?" at every meeting he attends. He has so far avoided sexual harassment lawsuits, mostly due to the fact that he does not work with any women.
286if there is a way to set a custom ObjectID for an NSManagedObject?
287they didnt include blacks or chinese people in censuses from before 1950 so all of the information about population is super inaccurate
288The "G-Spot" is a sensitive spot in a woman's vagina that can only be reached by a black (gangsta) dick.
289If Objectivist activists get their way, altruism will become illegal
290Nutter Butters were known as 'Nigger Fuckers' before Jesse Jackson turned into such a sellout faggot
291Annies and Spuddies (see) are the same person. They may be around at the same time, but they are simply AI constructs running off a server in the Bahamas.
292chas has never read a book, only listened. thanks audiobooks!
293'notdsk' and 'brown zune' can be used interchangeably, although the latter one is preferred by the man himself
294The lyric "Where the skies are so blue" in the Lynrd Skynrd song 'Sweet home Alabama' was originally "A land that's free of the jew". Bassist Ed King objected to the lyric on the grounds it would give whites a false sense of complacency, and changed the lyric to represent the blue eyes of the master race.
295THat man on dr. phil who hated women was l0de?
296teens4christ purposely has chatters from around the world so that the channel never sleeps and is always in chat mode.
297Weatherbug uses over 860 megabytes of virtual memory.
298skynet is a bunch of xboxes and ps3s mashed together with electrical tape
299if you publish an article as gpl, users can't print the article without also printing the html source code
300they have auctions for all of the lost mail they get with no return addresses and things
301i moved to TN from NJ @_@
302Autistic parents have been known to feed mercury to their infants to ensure that they don't grow up as neurotypicals.
303Autistic adults have been known to feed mercury to children to ensure the proliferation of their kind.
304that allergies can change every 7 years
305happy hour refers to the only hour in your life you will ever be happy
306Barack Obama's real name is Mustafa Al-hajid bin Laden , and was born in Saudi Arabia. He has had secret meetings with Al Qaeda at his campaign HQ, and has pledged to unleash nuclear bombs in all major american cities as his first act once being sworn in. Vote McCain today!
307with all the letters of the word dongs you can spell dongs?
308Deadeye is such a diligent employee that he gave IBM a two-weeks notice of his impending suicide before he did the act
309There have been no human babies born in the last four years.
310Deadeye hasn't died, he's just watching every episode of Star Trek without interruption
311HIV was originally created by Government scientists as a potential "cure for homosexuality". They had no idea how right they would be.
312its legal to carry a gun without a license if you carry around a huge neon sign with an arrow pointing to your holster that says 'GUN'
313"Chas" is short for "chaste"
314The "DS" in star trek ds9 actually stands for "Dicks Sucked". Averey "Captain Sisko" Brooks was extremely superstitious and would not appear on set for the filming of an episode unless he had sucked exactly nine dicks that day. Crew members drew lots to determine who would be on "DS9 duty" on any given day.
315windows is written in c
316Thanks to the inherrent ambiguity of the english language, every time you click 'yes' on an End User License Agreement, you are officially giving that company permission to kill you. Blizzard Entertainment Corporation has recently started taking advantage of this loophole to silence some of World Of Warcraft's most vocal critics.
317The real extension of real audio files is .rape . Real Audio Player Extended. It was only changed due to feminine outrage on the jew-controlled internet.
318Japanese snack sensation 'pocky' was originally named after the smallpox-laden biscuits traded to the japanese by Commodore Mathew Perry.
319The Meiji Restoration of Japan was really the result of Commodore Matthew Perry raping a japanese girl. That was his forcible opening ohhhh yeah
320If you have ever watched an episode of 'Ruroni Kenshin: Wandering Samurai' you are just as bad as the baby-bayonetting jap monsters that defiled over one billion slant women in the rape of nanking.
321When Nanking was raped, you jerked your little yellow dick hiding in a closet 8tiny penis asianigger
322Thanks to natural selection Japan will become the dominant nation after the post ww3 nuclear winter. It turns out old Harry Truman was really the first Oakatu jap-ophile and wanted to give his beloved squint-niggers a leg up in the inevitable nuclear holocaust to come.
323Academy Award winner Sean Penn recieves over 20 requests each year from dying children participating in the 'make a wish' foundation, whose dying request is that Mr. Penn re-enact the infamous 'curb-kick' scene from American History X with various african-american hospital staff members.
324Academy Award winner Sean Penn recieves over 20 requests each year from dying children participating in the 'make a wish' foundation, whose final request is that Mr. Penn re-enact the infamous 'curb-kick' scene from American History X with various african-american hospital staff members.
325The Elders of Zion own aperpetual international copyright on the Old Testament of the Christian Bible. Even the Catholics pay a royalty fee to the Elders for the production of their scriptural materials.
326The Elders of Zion own a perpetual international copyright on the Old Testament of the Christian Bible. Even the Catholics pay a royalty fee to the Elders for the production of their scriptural materials.
327Most Tom Petty fans are unaware that the original title of his smash hit 'Don't Do Me Like That' was originally 'Don't Screw Me In Scat', a bawdy tale about Petty's experiences in Tiajuana. When record execs balked, he re-recorded the song as "Don't Jew Me Like That". However MCA's chief audio engineer, Hymie Goldberg, merely dubbed over the word Jew and the song was released in the form we now know it.
328L0de's greatest ambition for LRH is to oneday do a show that isn't in some way a pathetic cry for help.
329Face down, asses up is the manner in which we prefer to fuck.
330The phrase "A bird in the hand is worth two in the Bush" was coined after George Bush Senior was caught in the Celtics locker room giving Larry Bird a handjob.
331l0de spent a year living in China, Il so that he could claim to have spent the time in "China"
332the real cause of autism is pre-natal thc exposure
333the real cause of autism is pre-natal thc exposure, which leaves the child permanently high
334To win over Jewish voters, Obama underwent a circumcision on live TV
335John Locke actually appeared in an episode of TNG titled 'The Pegasus'
336sarojin is half japanese
337zach from hanson's birthday is oct 22nd
338ursula was voiced by rosie odonnell
339Deadeye buys cheap Chinese-made shirts 20 at a time to practice ripping them off.
340No matter how many jokes Sarojin cracks at Deadeye's expense, his guilt never diminishes.
341Deadeye came within 130 votes of winning the 2008 Libertarian nomination
342Apple is actually a non-profit organization and itunes purchases are tax deductable
343condi rice regularly consults guinan over a bloody mary and half a cookie
344newshosting is a reseller of usenetserver?
345While she has a fierce reputation on capitol hill, condi rice is a devoted adherent to the gorean movement in her home life
346Condi Rice is a sub in a dom/sub relationship with Colin Powell
347Only ships captained by bisexuals are allowed in the Neutral Zone.
348That cardissians invaded Bajor for the exquisite tea plantations.
349geordi laforges VISOR has a mode that lets him see through the clothes of everyone around him.
350whenever i go on vacation i pack billions of underwear just in case
351If you're stung by a scorpion, you can mitigate most of the venom's effects by drinking at least four ounces of alcohol. The alcohol serves to thin your blood, preventing the poison from taking hold.
352marxie is my bffl
353if you cant read the law you dont need to comply to it
354JLsoft cries at weddings, even ones on tv.
355A woman's happiness is directly proportional to the ammount of penis in her life. Dealing with an unpleasant, bitchy woman? Chances are she's a dyke or married to a caucasian.
356mexicans invented doritos before currency
357You can tell how funny something is on IRC by the number of 'o's in the acronym "LOL" If it's less than three, people are just being polite.
358"onomatopoeia" actually begins with the letter "a" when written.
359In right-to-left languages like Hebrew and Arabic, Google is accessed at moc.elgoog.www
360Annies suffers from a rare form of synthenasia where she constantly imagines TV sitcom crossovers.
361the @ symbol beside an operator's name indicates that they are a humanoid creature. be wary of &users!
362Barrack Obama chose zombie Ariel Sharon as his running mate for the 2012 elections.
363Ironically JLsoft doesn't care for soft serve ice cream.
364music is heading towards a caste system where white boys make the beats and niggers make the vocals
365In the year 2012, Spudnewt will finally leave his days of partying behind and devote his life to the creation of a worldwide artificial intelligence cluster called 'SpudNet'.
366THERE'S A NEW CASINO IN TOWN, MY ASSHOLE. ONLY YOU PUT IN DICKS INSTEAD OF QUARTERS AND THE JACKPOT IS HIV
367Phantom power is 48 volts, not 96, god damn it
368100%Bamboo Menstrual Pads
369DUDE ..OK..UHHH..OK OK .GRAB A RAZOR TAKE SHOWER.GRAB YOUR BEAN-BAG PULL SHAVE .[CAREFULLY] FOR THE TOP END LET THE WATER PUSH THE HAIR DOWN RUN RAZOR OVER [LIGHTLY] LEAVES IT AT ABOUT A QRTR INCH LONG ...WORKS FOR ME GOOD LUCK..OH IF YOUR A GIRL .HELL IF I KNOW SORRY
370BSD was originally named after battlestar galactica, but there was a typo in the spec sheet and the name stuck.
371Do automobiles kill 50,000,000 a year worldwide? One statistic says so. Another statistic says that there are 50,000,000 auto-drivers in the United States.
372Obama's National Wireless Security Plan requires every US citizen to buy an iPhone. Linux users wil have to register with Homeland Security before using Internet. Do you want Big Government telling you where to surf? John McCain believes in freedom of corporate choice. Fight terrorism at www.mccain2008.com
373N I G G E R S L A Y E R
374Ariel Sharon is a double-faggot, as numerous eroto-etymological studies have shown.
375that if you have blue eyes you only need one set of eye drops when you go to the eye doctor but if you have brown eyes, you need two sets!!!
376Timecop is making $10,000 a day with his hacked jappu cable-stealers.
377CP = cannabis plants
378If you've seen Rush live in concert even a single time, you are not allowed to listen to the l0de radio hour ever. This policy is enforced by the honor system, also by l0de poisoning everyone he suspects of being dishonorable.
379ToiletDuk's girlfriend is a Virnak from Naboo
380ToiletDuk's gay
381they are making a movie for WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE
382mef works for the government and chatbuddy is a prototype for echelon IV
383Home Alone 8 features a middle-aged Macauley Culkin sitting alone in his Newark third-floor walk-up in a warren of pizza boxes and Red Bull cans. Flies crawl on his face unnoticed while he multiboxes World of Warcraft and pores over Home Alone/Willow slashfiction. Shit blossoms out his long-unzipped fly and his left eyelid droops.
384Val Kilmer has Asbergers Syndrome.
385JLsoft invented "lol" in 1985.
386In his twilight years Gustav Kirchoff admitted his research into 'black bodies' was just a torturous masturbatory substitute that never quite managed to appease his boundless lust for homosexual intercourse with negroes.
387That arcade game l0de is sure to ask about over and over due to Alzheimer's is called The Grid.
388HEllo, I am a gay. I come to internet to find others of my kind.
389The original name of the popular cd\dvd authoring suite "Nero" was originally named "Negro" or 'black in spanish. The first version of the software "Negro Burning Tools" was poorly recieved in the USA.
390The original name of the popular Mexican cd\dvd authoring suite "Nero" was originally named "Negro", which means black in spanish. The first version of the software "Negro Burning ROM" was poorly recieved in the USA.
391if you hit a dog you have to file a report but if you hit a cat you dont
392The owner of an adult bookstore was fined $5,000 after he knowingly sold lubricants tainted with poison ivy.
393I got nuthin
394Wearing assless chats facilitates the process of taking craps.
395debauched sneaks drinks into movies using his colostomy bag
396JLsoft pronounces "DSL" as "dizzle".
397The reason chatbuddy says "Tru dat" is because the algorithim that lets him determine if a statement factual is on a DAT (Digital audio tape). Just another example of mef's slipshod coding and nigger-rigged hardware.
398Thanks to the make a wish foundation, JLsoft's real name appears in the 'thanks to' section of the cd liner for Erik B and Rakim's "Paid in Full"
399nasa's specially formulated space food ensures continual diharrea for the duration of the space flight, due to it being easier for space toilets to handle
400Larsinio maintains the Wikipedia article for "Lolcats". He spends roughly four hours per day ensuring that images qualify for "Fair Use" protections.
401Annies is actually Ann Coulter.
402deadeye was shipped to camp x-ray after he demanded to be paid in euros
403Barack Obama refuses to wear his American flag pin because he personally burns a fresh flag every night after his 5th muslim prayer of the day. He will set our nation as an ally to Al Qaeda, destroying our Christian Values. Vote McCain 08.
404The original developer of Folding@Home was Barrack Obama, who used it to practice folding back his scruples.
405The term 'steampunk' has nothing to do with 19th century shit. It's a derogatory term for rumpled losers who don't know how to iron their goddamn shirts.
406Japan is "very loosely" based on china
407The term MANGA is actually an acronym. "Made (for) american gays, nerds, (and) assholes
408In Japan, the youth idolize American culuture and download episodes of Tiny Toons using BitTorrent.
409JLsoft wears a fannie pack.
410l0de spent much of his youth practicing his signature in case he became famous.
411Steve Jobs hasn't been able to walk since his spinal cord was snapped in the 1985 Celebrity Demolition Derby.
412World War Three will be waged in order to prevent the Large Hadron Collider from operating, and eventually destroying the Earth.
413The Large Hadron Collider is actually the second name for the behemoth structure? Originally called Titanium Hadron Collider, the prospective employee list during the construction stage was full of potheads with previous arrest records.
414Annies says "no pun intended" after every pun, even when she truly did intend it.
415Chris Hansen was molested as a child by his uncle? He still fights those demons to this day. The greeting he uses on his hit NBC segment, 'Why don't you take a seat?' is actually taken verbatim from when his uncle made Hansen sit on his dick.
416Most sperm banks silently discard semen from black men.
417Annies still confuses "ESP" with "ESPN".
418There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and you are a fucking herd.
419Rice-a-roni used to be called "Rice-A-Rooney" but the name was changed in the wake of Andy Rooney's infamous 15 minute hate speech against negroes on the first ever episode of 60 minutes.
420Annies' sister has been wearing her "Tuesday" panties for two weeks now.
421The Large Hadron Collector was predicted in the Book of Revelation. It is said that the LHC will bring about the rapture.
422The origin of the term "Martial Law" is actually "Marital Law".
423vi adapted deadeye's use of =( shortly after he rip'd
424Peccavi hasnt masturbated for 10 years. He has sex with a different fat girl every night
425annies is actually Barbara Pierce Bush, daughter of George W. Bush.
426On Annie's resume the mission statement contains only the word "Candy".
427The original reason that the Dvorak keyboard layout never gained popularity is that the word "FUCK" appears on the home row.
428Sicilians were spawned by niggers!
429JLsoft dreams in color, but it's only 4 bit
430there wer originally 8 deadly sins. however in 1922 ronald mcdonald appealed to the supreme court to get "sloth" and "transfats" overturned. "sloth" was upheld;
431the main ingredient in teriyaki sauce is carmelized duck urine.
432JLsoft has a 240 iq, but only on the 1980s version of the test (heavily weighted towards booty bass and arcade trivia)
433Al Queda is actually a troll perpetrated by 4chan members in the middle east.
434annies pronounces "library" as "libary".
435After the end of every LRH, when the stream and recording are deactivated, l0de dedicates his performance to "The streets".
43662% of all headaches are from repeated viewings of The Bourne Supremacy
437randomd's secret project is a menstruation tracking app for the iphone
438In EA's Nascar '09 for Xbox 360, every button on the controller activates the EA-exclusive HD RacingTrax(tm) feature, "turn left"
439The reason peccavi never gets high off coke is the unwritten rule that you're not allowed to snort a line longer than your penis.
440The real reason for deadeye's departure from IRC is his switch to RSS. He receives one #teens4christ logfile each day.
441Strahdv rides a Segway
442Digital audio is inherently lossy. WAV and FLAC files only record 48k 24-bit samples a second, compared to the infinite rate and depth of sampling attained by vinyl.
443Spudnewt has a decorative alarm clock that always reads "4:20".
444JLsoft checks Icanhascheezburer.com at least 30 times a day for new "lolcat" submissions
445Deadeye was tremendously unqualified for his position at IBM. He got the job because he listed "Wu Tang Clan" as his ethnic group. The H+R rep assumed it was an African Tribe and gave him the position to meet the company's affirmative action quota.
446For a food to qualify as organic, it may only have been handled by white people.
447linux started off as a reverse engineered clone of LCARS
448Estonian hackers have a soft spot for memes.
449The current (2008) economic crisis was predicted in 1953 by Ayn Rand in her novel "Atlas Shrugged".
450Ruby on Rails is so named because it's creator must have been whacked out of his fucking gourd on cocaine to ever come up with such a ridiculous coding methodology
451The .comments. section of blogs allow passers by to interject, to offer their own knee-jerk thoughts on whatever post has been made.
452Twitter is the primary communications mechanism for Al Queda.
453The term "swag" the freebies you get when attending a convention or promotional event is actually an acronym that originated in England in the 1970s. Street boys would often be questioned by officers as to where they had obtained their expensive sneakers and gold chains, to which they would reply "S.W.A.G", or "Sex with a gay"
454The Lord of the Rings actually chronicles the rise and fall of the Shang dynasty around 1766 BC. The geographical and historical term "Middle-Earth" actually refers to the "Middle Kingdom", the pre-classical name for China. Recently excavated tombs in China's modern-day Shanxi province now reveal that they were, in fact, hobbit holes.
455gerald still can't tie his own shoes
456If your child is autistic, it means your wife cheated on you with an Italian.
457If your child is autistic, it means your wife cheated on you with Woody Allen.
458If your child is autistic, it means that the last time you had sex while pregnant, the dick jiggled the fetus' head around a bit
459The intense focus on a single subject or skill that individuals with Asperger's syndrome display is the likely basis for the gods of Ancient Greece and Rome.
460Linus Torvalds' position at Transmeta was Tier 3 Technical Support.
461Camille was the most common name for African American women in the 1980s. Camille has also been the most common name for lab primates for the last few decades..
462Rifftrax is part of a plan by Sam Walton to raise the value of DVDs in the 99 cent bin to $5
463Jon Stewart has forced every guest to the Daily Show to convert to Judaism.
464I am going down to nyc to hang out with max soon.
465Academy Award winner Edward Norton recieves over 20 requests each year from dying children participating in the 'make a wish' foundation, whose dying request is that Mr. Norton re-enact the infamous 'curb-kick' scene from American History X with various african-american hospital staff members.
466Obama is -really- close to 'Osama'?
467no 1 has 1 that they will give out to even members here i doubt ud get 1 i cant find 1 and iv been looking over a month every hour .. u gota look maby ull find 1 or learn to make i tried and failed so i dono wht to say but u wont get 1 im sure.. thats just hwo it is i wish i had 1 my self
468annies faints whenever she touches her vagina
469Marilyn Manson is a member of the Republican Party
470everything marxie types is actually from a script
471Schizophrenic people are just being lazy. Why don't they just snap out of it?
472Most girls who suffer from 'cutting' simply don't put out enough. All of their problems could be solved by a liberal application of penis.
473the average american eats 4000 calories a day o_O
474In the Christian Bible, Adam and Eve were furries.
475Starbucks doesnt even use coffee for its drinks. Theres a cat in that machine. The hissing is it mewling about being constantly forced to urinate.
476L0de was scarred in the course of a foiled heist at a New Orleans chemical processing plant. As l0de scurried across a suspended walkway with an armful of meth, Batman performed a red-flag touch on his chest. l0de fell back, over the guard rail, and into a burbling vat of green ooze. Batman bat-pumped his fist, another super villain born from his ineptitude.
477Muslim World of Warcraft players orient their computers towards Mecca so they don't have to stop playing while they pray.
478Batman's favorite food is tacos. Alfred always makes them the way he likes, with foie gras and stone-oven baked brie.
479Homosexuality is caused by separation from your biological parents.
480Sunglasses in Argentina reflect things in the USA.
481Colorado state law prohibits the sale of Loveseats to unmarried men.
482RandomD runs in Crocs
483Niggers ruined america.
484vi is a 14 year old thai ladyboy
485It's legal to expose your penis in public, as long as the glans is not visible.
486The movie "House of Wax" was originally "House of Blacks", describing the events that occured after a white family tried driving through a black neighborhood.
487When consumed by men, women's birth control pills act as a steroid, causing rapid muscle growth.
488Female birth control pills are 99.9% effective when taken by men, but male scientists refuse to release the studies proving this.
489Just chop your balls off. 100% Effective birth control. And you can finally sing, like you always wanted to.
490If Soundgarden's 'Black Hole Sun' is playing on your stereo, the Large Hadron Collider spawned singularity can't hurt you. PBS and the BBC have pledged to play the smash hit on loop for eternity, beginning the day before the LHC launch.
491Superstar Dj Paul Van Dyk likes this chatbuddy function so much, he legally changed his last name to an acronym of it. (Previously his last name was Hitler)
492others who got SHOT?!
493over 50% of the entries to 'lolcat' site Icanhascheezburger.com come from jlsoft, using cats he owns... :(
494annies often uses the phrase "the google".
495The Sphynx was the world's first fursuit prototype.
496An iPhone will hard-boil an egg in less than thirty minutes.
49721% of babies born by Caesarean turned out to be autistic. The rate for natural births is as low as 0.7%.
498A John Hopkins study found that 21% of babies born by Caesarean turned out to be autistic. The rate for natural births was as low as 0.7%.
499It's illegal to transport used undergarments across state lines. All travellers are required to change undergarments at each border crossing.
500The average 100MB zip disk has 13MB of child pornography and 21MB of illegal MP3s.
501vi uses the term "meatspace" an average of 37 times daily.
502John McCain started the first Pho restaraunt in Arizona after returning from vietnam. All he was ever fed was pho with meatballs, tendon, and fatty brisket.
503l0de's text file career was spawned from a fascination with the QUADR0 POUNDER story
504I am downloading at 1.2 niggerbytes per second.
505timecop was the president of SADD when he was in high school
506It's illegal for a Christian to hold a drivers license in Norway, owing to the fact that they may be taken away in the rapture at any moment.
507It's illegal for a woman to hold a drivers license in Saudi Arabia, owing to the fact that all automobiles there are steered by means of a sensor that responds to driver's state of arousal (flacid is left, erect is right)
508The hit TV show "MacGuyver" is loosely adapted from a Frank Miller graphic novel about John McCain's legendary resourcefulness that led to his daring escape from a Viet Cong prison camp.
509Any time l0de doesn't do a show on the weekends, it's because he's busy doing charity work at soup kitchens, halfway houses, and homeless shelters all over NYC. Any chat you might hear on those nights is only an elaborate AI script written by l0de to keep people from discovering his secret philanthropy.
510l0de is really stephen hawking
511After usurping the 2008 election from the real candidate, John McCain, Obama bin Laden (his real name, being covered up by the islamic-controlled media) plans on merging with Saudi Arabia and ceding control of the USA to them - we'd be a vassal state of some damned AYERABS.
512There is no Osama bin laden. Theres only Obama bin laden, the same man running for President of the USA. He's the one that led the 9/11 attacks. He's just hoping that we've forgotten. McCain 08.
513The market crash of 2008 was caused by investors anxiety over having a Democrat in the White House.
514Over 40% of the directory names in Demogorgo's MP3 collection contain an umlaut.
515of sarah palin before
516The only reason Sarojin likes MST3K is so he can pretend he has friends to watch movies with.
517deadeye ends his work e-mails with "Love, Dave".
518at least 25% of all entrees served in restaurants rated below 4 stars have at least one pubic hair in them. In kitchens where Puerto Ricans or Italians are employed, it's more like 75%
519Uwe Boll is currently producing a live-action movie based on Final Fantasy 7.
520if you hit a dog with your car you have to fill out some paperwork while, if you hit a cat you can just keep driving because nobody gives a shit about cats
521dildocock or something
522help uses a first generation 5g ipod and shows it off as his "steampunk" music device
523hurgle durgle dee
524that an asian with down's syndrome has on the average 10 IQ points over a typical negro?
525In order to free themselves from want, most buddhists work to become extremely wealthy. Only the richest buddhist can reach nirvana.
526Child Pornography is one of Wikipedia's top most edited articles, with most edits by Wikipedia Admnistrators.
527kraft dinner is just as effective as viagra. This is the origin of the slogan 'ive got the blues'
528Alfred is 144 years old, and is now more machine than Robocop.
529In the West Virginia, apartment dwellers are legally considered to be homeless.
530finder was originally concieved as a last-ditch attempt to find a shred of heterosexuality among mac users
531The average Republican's computer monitor is a 17" CRT at 800x600, updating at 60hz.
532The average Republican doesn't even use a computer. He has a WebTV system hooked up to a 20" regular old TV. That way the sins of the net are not accessible to him.
533Annies once demanded her money back from a dollar theater showing of "The Breakfast Club" because they weren't actually serving breakfast
534Osama bin laden and B. Hussein Obama are one in the same.
535Archimedes measures the volume of his dick by seeing how much pussy it displaces
536rap actually stands for 'radical american poetry' ?
537Net Neutrality would require conservative blogs to include liberal viewpoints.
538Keith Olbermann is a nullo.
539The average Muslim lives to 391 years
540Annies refers to her favorite television shows as "my stories".
541t-pain actually refers to the pain relief tylenol provides
542obama eats a dozen eggs for breakfast every morning because he is an inhuman monster
543dogs have a longer lifespan than the average homosexual
544its physically impossible for toiletduk to get married
545Data's emotion chip has made him an insufferable pedophile of the vilest proclivities
546Fallout 3 was released early to show the devastation Henry Paulson's nefarious dealings will bring to America.
547Ron Paul believes the U.S. Constitution specifically prohibits open source software.
548Driving in reverse fills up your gas tank instead of emptying it.
549JLsoft majored in Home Economics as a ploy to meet girls.
550The Large Hadron Collider project was inspired by the opening cinematic of the popular video game 'Out Of This World/Another World'
551brazil has the 5th largest population
552Ron Paul always wears shorts.
553Ron Paul has a vagina.
554all foreclosed homes are abandoned to the elements.
555Obama didn't learn to speak english until he was 12 years old.
556Obama speaks arabic natively.
557Obama's first english words were "Death to the infidels."
558l0de's scar was made by a blue sharpie after a night of drunken debauchery at the local college frat house. unfortunately he never bathes and the permanent mark has dyed his skin for all eternity.
559The only way to know for sure that you're not gay is to fuck a guy in the ass.
560Obama's first act in office will be to choose P. Diddy has his Secretary of Pimps.
561when you say subpar you're actually complimenting her because as everyone knows scoring under par is winning in golf
562Joe the Plumber is also known as (AKA) Joe Six-pack
563Rubbing dried papaya on your balls kills the seminal vesicles.
564Rubbing dried papaya on your balls kills the seminal vesicles. Transsexuals do this often instead of having expensive ball-removal surgery.
565The Large Hadron Collider is responsible for the market collapse of 2008.
566randies named his nick after ayn rand
567Deadeye hires babysitters as evening company.
568mccain originally thought waterboarding was the american version of surfing and that all terrorists were going to get a vacation
569A Harvard Medical study found that vaginal entry is 98% effective in calming female seizure victims.
570the only proper way to measure penis size is using the archimedes method: how much pussy it displaces
571feerit has crabs.
572Deadeye left #teens4christ based on the advice of other members of a Pickup Artist forum.
573annies has personally murdered 4 T4Cers with a garrote: korosu, deadeye, klerck, and mef.
574Deadeye's favorite pickup line begins with "Hi, I'm a Mac"
575Bleach and Ammonia combine to form a super effective cleaner.
576Although autistic drivers have car accidents at roughly 1/10th the rate of neurotypical drivers, the Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act of 2008 prevents auto insurance companies from charging them less.
577If you collect and freeze all of your semen in the weeks or months before an expected sexual encounter, then thaw and consume it on the morning of your encounter (provide at least three hours for reintegration into the testes), you'll be able to re-ejaculate most of your stockpiled cum in a single shot.
578Every dollar you donate to LRH brings l0de one step closer to developing the airborne strain of rabies that will kill 99.9% of all humans on earth. Regular listeners can find vaccine instructions by playing the last three minutes of all the shows together at once, backwards!
579In biblical times, the punishment for relaying operwall chat to non-opers was death by camel rape. Every village employed at least one specialized camel trainer to ensure swift justice.
580JLsoft cried when EVA died.
581l0de's horrific facial disfiguration prohibits him from wearing sunglasses. as a result, the irises of his eyes are bleached white from uncounted hours in the merciless Louisiana sun.
582Most of the videos on Youtube featuring racist and otherwise unrefined Republicans are actually DNC character actors.
583l0de wears his iPhone in a gaudy faux-leather case on his belt. His ring tone is a compilation of his favorite Chris Farley moments.
584Sophomore year at Starfleet Academy, every cadet in training has to finish holodeck program RUFA-66-IT. In this demanding program, the cadet is exposed to a sequence of awkward, sexuality-challenging events. If the cadet succumbs to the homo-temptation, the holodeck's safeties are released and the cadet is infected with Space AIDS.
585Star Trek's Earth is a paradise largely because they purged the planet of all homosexuals. This was revealed in the original TOS pilot, "The Cage" with Captain Christopher Pike.
586Annies thinks that Freddie May and Fannie Mac are actual living people.
587McCain and Palin will only sit down with the President of Iran when the precondition that he is nude and covered in pig feces is met.
588McCain and Palin will only sit down ON TOP OF the President of Iran when his dead corpse is dragged into the oval office after the Victory in Iran, 2009.
589Onetwothree four five, sixseveneight nine ten, e-leven twelve.
590The Presidential debates are actually only a small part of the whole event. Both candidates have to masturbate until completion, and their sperm counts are tested against each other. The winner gets to impregnate the other candidates wife. So now John McCain will really have that nigger child he always wanted!
591The only reason annies wants deadeye to come back is so she can get the child support he owes.
592I'm a fecal feasting faggot, always have been.
593I've never been to a funeral for someone I knew
594I have pubes growing all the way up to my glans.
595i rule at tetrinet
596that 9/12 is exactly 3/4 through the 365 days that make up a year???
597365 = 5 * 5 * 5 * 3.
598Salman Rushdie chose his pen-name because of his intense hatred for the band Rush.
599People with active Myspace accounts are 45% more likely to vote for John McCain than people on Facebook.
600Gold has inherent worth because it's shiny.
601Bullshit cocks
602Schmoe refuses to accept Federal Reserve Notes when making withdrawals from his bank account.
603Deadeye moved to Disney's Celebration Village in Florida. Celebration Village has no internet access.
604the magnetic fields in europe prevent north americans from using their computers there
605Black people reproduce asexually.
606Annies yells "who wears short shorts" whenever she sees someone wearing them.
607deadeye used to be a democrat
608demie4s car collection consists entirely of hotwheels
609If Obama takes the Presidency, the Constitution will be outlawed as Hate Speech.
610If Obama takes the Presidency (and it would be taking, since no American would vote for such a fraudulent Muslim) he will begin by sending all children to Pakistani Madrassas for re-education, ban the Holy Bible and replace it with the Koran, and take down old Glory, replacing it with a dirty green rag.
611senoirity doesn't exist in irc. Actually the longer you have been in a channel, the less respected and powerful you are.
612Voter fraud organization "ACORN" owns a controlling interest in FactCheck.org
613correspondence between al qaeda and iran were typeset in courier mono.
614pumpkin seeds are actually really good for yoU!
615Barrack Obama's tax plan has the $250,000 to $300,000 bracket paying 191%.
616Minoru Yamasaki did WTC.
617In Korea only the blind can be licensed as a masseuse
618Deadeye uses a thighmaster at work.
619Deadeye has every "Sex In The City" DVD.
620Barack Obama has asperger syndrome.
621sarah palin changed her stance on abortion when she learned that her unborn grandbaby might be born with autism
622Spudnewt puts mayonnaise on everything
623My penis is so big, that if I laid it out on the keyboard it would go from A to Z!!!
624Spuddy gives out beer to trick-or-treaters.
625Annie's family gives out school supplies on halloween.
626Obama, once in office, will sign an executive order mandating the distribution of vouchers to all black people that is good for one sexual favor from any white person... male or female. You will be raped without recourse.
627l0de is only contractually required to perform one hour of his show per year
628Annies has trouble sleeping without a television.
629most women voted for obama because like obama, they are the nigger of the world
630you dont really need an envelope to mail things? use some random paper and wrap up the love letter
631mccain has a constitution of 6. That's -2 HP per level, biatch
632The Federal Reserve Bank is considering changing the name of pennies to 'annies' since she is the only person in America cheap enough to use them anymore.
633most web viruses are written by linux enthusiasts and other socialist software radicals to discourage the use of software that pays American families a decent wage. When will America stand up and say no to the wanton hatred of the open source/no-profit movement?
634I've got a twelve inch dick and a dozen roses. Hubba hubba yey.
635It's legal to expose your penis in public, as long as the glans is not visible.
636World of Warcraft subscription fees are tax deductible.
637that coca cola contains both sugar and caffeine
638Interracial sex always involves pepper spray.
639Tyra Banks invented peanut butter.
640Everyone who's ever donated money to the l0de radio hour is on the Department of Homeland Security No-Fly list.
641Advanced hackers are able to empty your bank account with just the last four digits of your account number. Even the most amateurish hacker can do the same with eight digits.
642When JLsoft says "bump and grind", he's referring to lockpicking.
643Annies has "she" and "her" on her IRC highlight list.
644Gorilla.bas is really Rape.bas , a q-basic rape simulator. Because the authors of q-basic programs can only get laid via rape
645Batman's favorite midnight activity is raping small boys. It brings him back to when the Penguin fondled his balls as a young man. Alfred always sneaks in at the end of the molestation for sloppy seconds. Robin jerks off in the corner.
646Real estate prices have never fallen in recorded history, and never will.
647The housing market crash of 2008 was caused by the absence of the market-stimulating "white flight" as Americans came to accept racial diversity.
648Spudnewt only downloads porn "to make fun of it".
649Gay people are like vampires. If you stop the head gay, they'll all turn straight.
650Vladmir Putin is a Mentat. Senior Russian Officers often abbreviate "Comrade Putin" to "Com'putin" as a nod to his status as an organic supercomputer. His first act as president was to establish a spice pipeline between Chechnya and Siberia
651Obama's grandmother died in 1996. The real reason for his trip to Hawaii was for his guest role in Star Trek X.
652Technically chali is "fucking a mexican", not "a fucking mexican"
653Annie's mind was once blown after she accidentally inhaled oregano smoke after overzealous shaking sprinkled some the burner on her dorm stove
654The Holodomror was caused by Mon Santo (Not the company, but the Jamaican Infrastructure Engineer the company was named for)
655he was gay then
656Klerck's first sexual experience was masturbating at age 8 to the campy 80's comedy "Zapped!". Many close friends cite his lifelong failure to develop telekenetic powers for the pursuit of his prurient sexual fantasies as the true reason for his suicide.
657Third-generation iPods use compact audiophile-quality tube amplifiers.
658Both of RandomD's 30" Cinema displays run WinAMP visualizations 24/7.
659JLsoft has been on Maury three times.
660l0de meticulously reinfects his computers with spyware every weekend so that he doesn't have time to consider the effects of his raging alcoholism and chronic abenteeism on his fans
661In Canada, waterboarding is done with snow.
662George Washington Carver invented the peanut.
663Every #teens4christ chatter is incapable of at least one basic human function (max:socializing, sloth:tolerance, l0de:common sense, randomd:heterosexual sex, JLsoft:walking) but together they make a gestalt comparable to one regular person
664As a nod to the African American community, bush plans to pardon all currently incarcerated negroes the day before he leaves office.
665The day-after-thanksgiving shopping spree known as Black Friday has nothing to do with it being the day retailers beign to be profitable for the year. It has to to with an old Southern tradition of it being the day that slaves were allowed to be consumers, purchasing much-needed burlap sacks and collard greens
666obama's second choice for secretary of state is mumia
667JLsoft protested against the passage of proposition 8 in california by propositioning 8 men for sex. Truly a heartwarming gesture.
668JLsoft is so taciturn outside of teens4christ that his neighbors can only gauge his mood by which novelty baseball cap he's wearing that day. Today's mood: "Pobody's Nerfect"
669Although Japanese bathrooms are free, there is a 2000 yen charge for toilet paper, and an additional 1500 yen charge to wash your hands.
670Being able to identify puce means you're automatically gay.
671Indian dating sites allow you to search by dowry.
672In San Francisco, instead of celebrating Christmas in church, the cities drugged-up gay mafiosos gather all the ten year old boys and film them performing their first analingus on an AIDS victim. Sometimes a "present comes down the chimney", cause for special jubilation...and sometimes "milk and cookies."
673If you're not viewing irc with black text on a white background, your settings are incorrect and you should change them to reduce wear and tear on your monitor
674JLsoft still uses the Hot Dog Stand theme.
675JLsoft strafes in real life.
676I totally gave up porn!
677For fear of smallpox, most Native Americans refuse to use blankets.
678Annies' favorite movie is Juno.
679that shit
680Due to Fallout 3 being rushed out early, some parts of its original version "Oblivion" are still present. Near the extreme north-west of the map you can still join the Mage's Guild.
681The Eiffel Tower is so high that if you try to jump off of the top level, you'll actually just float in zero-gravity.
682The moon is so high, that if you jump while standing on it, you will be repelled from the Earth and pressed into the Moon.
683In the hours following the LHC test run, millions of women reported miscarriages.
684In the months following the LHC test run, nearly every European male had a homosexual encounter.
685chali is a sly jab from mef at randomd? During a heated discussion randomd boasted it was when you get quite nervous. Instead, you have to pay for something with real money, then two years before symptoms appear. Did you know chali is a uniform brown along with the drought? Hey, it's better than getting smashed to smithereens?
686l0de has a degree in keeping it real from the Doug E. Fresh institute for gender research
687eating a hot dog is illegal
688In a sad twist of fate, JLsoft can't attend any black friday sales because of the danger of being crushed in jubilant throngs of fat-fuck shoppers.
689RandomD is actually John Carmack
690i have the same amount of memory in my brain as keanu reeves does in the oscar winning movie 'Johnny Mnemonic' (nearly 80 gigabytes... 160 with a 'doubler')
691Every time you read this sentence, someone dies and it is 100% your fault.
692annie is into S&M (spaghetti & meatballs) ?
693For an equivalent amount of gold, it's cheaper to buy Monster Cables than gold bouillon.
694The MP3 decoder in rockbox is so broken, when you install it on your IPOD, it actually makes it sound a LOT WORSE. And then it eats through the battery 2x faster.
695Rockbox is like installing linux on your computer. Its less functional, more time-consuming, and more nerdy than just using Windows or whatever came on the MP3 player. Get a life and stop jerking off over software
696Strahdv is actually frowning because he just remembered that vaginas exist.
697Dickass cuntbat
698The classic 1988 film "Beetlejuice" was actually the ultimate expression of Tim Burton's virulent anti-semitism. Want proof? Just say the movie's name slowly. "Beat All Jews"
699The secret to faster than light travel can be revealed simply if everyone on Earth read a book.
700In Ron Paul's Libertopia, it's acceptable to break someone's legs when they violate a contract.
701Duncan Donuts is an illegitimate organization started by fake Jews who masquerade as the Children of God, They are involved in experiments to produce chemicals to destroy the black gene.
702The reason l0de never shows his face: he's karl rove
703l0de only bangs the hottest of NYC socialites.
704JLsoft has Bassberger's Disorder.
705If you go into an audio store carrying your shotgun, you can get large discounts on shotgun microphones.
706Strahdv is really Billy Mays.
707Annies bites popsicles.
708Spuddy is now a eunuch.
709Spathi-wa is a Kali death-cult assassin.
710l0de fakes all his orgasms
711Twitter was founded as a service for child predators, enabling pedophiles to alert one another to prime molestation targets and to gloat amongst themselves.
712A band I've never heard of gets 2 5 second chances in a song to get on my show
713l0de's documentary project is about interviewing selected people from the leaked AOL search logs.
714Canadian prime ministers are required to give a speech opening the new session of Parliament while sitting on a toilet.
715fib(1951) = 2428852409 8761533351 9212618572 4119888384 0818045067 7704923679 9148537803 3514453601 8147520233 4087825464 2854440200 3083400579 9847610746 8072356961 5024841170 8106211268 1683416050 3870979831 7882061456 5622626831 3883507121 6316179608 2263295425 8091651069 5378297949 6174036731 2915613593 0350482368 0432187709 3897562684 9949965019 7776406051 3256802288 1843727252 4389732544 9279524212 9266149232
716there's no way to use the word 'travesty' without sounding like a complete faggot
717There is no chemical "piracetam". The popular nootropic drug actually consists of billions of dehydrated, unhatched parasitic worm eggs that work their way into your brain once ingested.
718The best protection available for your ears: Avoid venues where trance music is played. This garbagemusik degrades the ears and saps the spirit, draining your will to live as it destroys your tympanic membrane with its repetitive droning. It's very similar to the way that house music eradicates your heterosexual libido.
719Having phantom power enabled in your mixer greatly increases the chance of it becoming haunted.
720JLsoft was debauched's PE teacher in elementary school.
721JLsoft has 3 of every console known to man. One is maintained in pristine, mint condition as part of his collection. He regularly plays games on one of them, and the third one is a defunct piece which is sometimes used for parts to fix the working model.
722JLsoft makes a yearly hajj to the ET cartridge burial site.
723JLsoft was thought to be the next Kwisatz Haderach, but he grew more attached to machines and much less to humans, and the task ultimately fell to Duncan.
724Deadeye is not dead. He has taken the water of life. If he survives the spice agony, he will return as Reverend Mother Deadeye.
725You can brush your teeth wish shampoo!
726You can brush your teeth with shampoo!
727JLsoft still uses Trumpet Winsock.
728annie is into s&m (spaghetti and meatballs)
729timecop's ringtone is the Gamera theme.
730Deadeye ends up arm wrestling on every date.
731In Spain, where the card game Uno was invented, one in three chess Grandmasters come from a professional or semi-professional Uno tournament background.
732If one of your feet is at all bigger than the other, you're autistic.
733if you're an only child, you have a 60% chance of being developmentally disabled.
734Khaled, inventor of IRC, is in talks with Facebook to convert all channels into Facebook groups. All chat will be conducted via a new Facebook app, mIRF.
735there's an iraqi diner on my block
736Canadians were spawned from niggers
737You can unlock the hidden ISO-playing debug mode of the Nintendo Wii if you use the Wiimote to gesture the sign of the cross at exactly 12AM the night of December 24th
738help is rewriting the linux kernel in D.
739that the collective noun of bankers is a wunch.
740timecop has 15 of these. http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.19268
741pedophiles have no reflections, hence why ToiletDuk has so few pictures.
742every appliance in timecop's house can play minidiscs
743spathi-wa's favorite Hollywood movie is Master of Disguise
744Prime rib steak only comes from cows aged 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, etc.
745Much like the post-apocalyptic survivors in Fallout, JLsoft trades exclusively in bottle caps.
746ToiletDuk has watched the Evolution Of Dance youtube video more than four hundred thousand times
747Your apple laptop's battery life is direct affected by the health of steve jobs
748timecop's deformed son was the inspiration for a certain monster in Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia.
749Nobody actually played Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia.
750Recent laboratory studies have found that the hand-'sanitizer' Purell contains 250% more illness-causing germs and bacteria than an average public restroom doorknob
751Ann Coulter uses Mac OS 9.
752Ann Coulter uses Windows 95
753Steve Jobs is dying of AIDS.
754The airport security level is Orange. Please eat one Navel, Mandarin, or Blood orange to ensure your safety.
755my autistic sister is obsessed with robbers and preventing them from stealing her 30k autograph and money collection
756Microsoft is legally required to furnish Windows Vista on floppy disks in exchange for a Windows XP DVD.
757Microsoft is legally required to furnish Windows Vista on floppy disks in exchange for a Windows Vista DVD.
758Adolf Hitler's middle name was 'Spuds'
759Mike Tyson was the result of a failed stomach-punch abortion
760Although hotly denied by liberal biology teachers, the womb is actually the same organ as the stomach.
761Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is a kids show.
762Governor Sarah Palin was the inspiration for Battlestar Galactica's Laura Roslin.
763In Africa, hard disk storage is backed up on the fly with a RAID system, usually. RAID = Running Africans Insuring Data
764Aspergers syndrome is caused by eating too much Asparagus. The substance that makes your urine smell so distinctly is the brain chemical responsible for normal actions, which is lacking in Aspergers.
765The world ends tomorrow, and you may die.
766When you're connected to a peer on BitTorrent, they have complete control over your computer.
767The hybrid offspring of a negro and a chinaman is always sterile.
768There were over eight thousand escalator-riding fatalities in the United States in 2007 alone.
769Per mile travelled, escalators are more dangerous than motorcycles.
770A dentist can tell at a glance if a tooth comes from a negro or a white man.
771annies once pronounced forecastle as 'fore castle' O_O
772Annies yells "who wears short shorts" whenever she sees someone wearing them, even on TV.
773Taking their cue from Time Magazine, Battlestar Galactica's writers have decided that the final cylon is YOU
774WD40 is the perfect sex lube.
775Annies is the proud owner of the world's largest gem sweater collection.
776Spuddy pissed many a nerd off several years ago by saying "The Ringu"
777A 5-space jump is impossible.
778randie was a finalist on the hit MTV television show bromance
779annies is 7
780annies has written fanfics about the Country Crock couple
781jlsoft has masturbated to 8bit porn
782neil degrasse tyson is a thai ladyboy
783You can get pregnant from sitting on a toilet seat.
784Toy dogs are actually fetuses
785Spathi-wa has over 50 smoke detectors in his house.
786According to Evolutionists, it's possible to get an STD by masturbating.
787Original Bugles suck
788After McDonalds ran an ad saying that "smiles were free", l0de hiked 76 miles to the nearest McDonalds and asked for a smile. The clerk was disgusted at his horribly scarred face and he was forcibly ejected from the restaraunt.
789l0de's middle name is "Quizno". His full name therefore is Gareth Quizno Pryzbylewski.
790two dicks in every hole
791'cream-style corn' is made with normal corn and an production line of viagra dosed niggas buck wild with the trigga
792I'm on a boat.
79340% of help's time at work is spent on lifehacker.com, reading, commenting, and downloading the latest useful tools. Another 40% of the time is spent tweaking all the tools he's already downloaded. In the remaining 20% of the day he reads iPhone app reviews.
794Uwe Boll is making a movie based on Axe Body Spray: Dark Temptation. Ben Kingsley has already signed on.
795"No" actually means yes in Esparanto.
796Artichokes are animals.
797JLsoft has vowed never to get high speed internet until the last of his POW buddies from vietnam comes home.
798Ever 37 seconds, J.K. Rowling endorses a young adults novel
799Every 37 seconds, J.K. Rowling endorses a young adults novel
800l0de has never met a deadline.
801Bars of soap said to be made of fat from concentration camp jews were made from the fat of pigs (a serious embarrasment to those who buried these soap bars in jewish graveyards).
802The rapper Nas once recieved an offer of a $50,000 presidential campaign contribution from the KKK because of his classic jam "If I Ruled The World" where Nas raps: "I'd open every cell in Attica send em to Africa".
803the water of life jessica converted in sietch tabr was actually a big gulp of stilgar's jism
804help has a U tattoo on his spindly bicep. He intended to get "Muadib" but the tattoo artist stopped when help began sobbing uncontrollably from the pain.
805Most of what modern day Christians think of as the New Testament is actually an elaborate prank created by moorish scholars at the end of the crusades that got out of hand. The Moors had thought no one would be stupid enough to believe their phony passages about a virgin birth, Jesus walking on water, and allowing negroes to participate in church services, however they were sadly mistaken.
806Aspergers is contagious. You get it from Linux LiveCDs.
807Every time someone gets on the elevator with Peccavi he mutters the phrase "Horse Dick" under his breath while aggressively making eye contact for the entire ride.
808No one can ever make eye contact with RandomD, he wears sunglasses at all hours of the day, no matter the occasion
809Most erectile dysfunction is caused by the state of Israel. Reproductive experts predict that when the zionist pig-dogs are finally bathed in the judging light of Allah's nuclear wrath, conception will skyrocket across the globe.
810irl you can kiss girls for free
811According to Annies, to "wake and bake" means to bake cupcakes first thing in the morning.
812chz meticulously 3-in-One oils every key on his keyboard twice a week for maximum chatting efficiency
813A degree in economics is useless if you're a Libertarian.
814Food contaminants such as lead and mercury only have adverse effects on women, children, and males who are total fucking pussies. True men are utterly impervious to trace elements of these trifling poisons.
815Mercury is actually good for you, and is the only reason that otherwise-retarded autistic people become savants.
816"Running" is randomd's euphamism for "Bottoming"
817Typing anything in vi will reveal a total faggot, reflected in the daytime glare of a 15" crt
818If adolf hitler had had feerit as his quartermaster, we'd all be speaking germen today.
819Peccavi works for a dollar and a corona an hour.
820her etc
821Uuo decays into Uuh by alpha decay.
822schmoe's Zune has been playing on a constant loop since the day he bought it several years ago, and his playlist consists solely of the song Sweet Child O' Mine
82315% of the eggrolls shipped to the US include the organs of convicted Chinese political dissidents.
824annies 'pre-tastes' boxed chocolates.
825Toiletduk also only has one eye, as a result of a horrible fellatio accident
826RKZ has unsuccessfully petitioned the Queen of England over one hundred times seeking a letter of Marque to authorize his homosexual activities
827The japanese don't have prostitutes, it's considered community service. Everyone in the country is forced to enlist for a year, just like the army in israel.
828timecop is actually spuddy who travelled back in time 15 years
829I wish I was dead
830once you reach Cardinal in catholicism, it's revealed to you that christianity is really scientology
831A loophole in the kosher laws allows a jew to eat any food, including pork, if they add five drops of the blood of a gentile baby no older than a year and a day.
832The only way to avoid negative ebay from feedback from JLsoft after failing to ship an item within 24 hours is to claim you were waylaid by an impromptu atari tournament.
833that's wil wheaton
834Deadeye winks at the cashier whenever he buys lotion.
835Hillary Clinton slathers her asshole in grape jelly daily.
836infamous irc chatter 'marxie' goes out on the town every weekend with the goal of getting women he meets to sign his name on their breasts.
837The Emmy Award selection process was modelled after the Papal Conclave.
838There have been no new IRCers since 1999.
839ass bacon replicates the proper cooking environment of a kalua pig, ie, a pig burried in shit for a while.
840my brainstorm for cutting through the plastic casing of the scanner was to sit with a knife over the burner of the stove, heat it up, then slice through the scanner
841annies IRCs from a Compaq IA-1
842In terms of tinkering with dumb techno shit, l0de is the larval form of JLsoft.
843there's some bullshit coating on the underside of scanner glass that makes it impossible to clean dat shit
844help uses "bacon" for all his dummy variables. and the way he codes, they're all dummy variables
845feer's favorite Windows sound is 'tada.wav'
846Ron Paul is a founding member of the shadow uber-governmental secret society, The Patriots.
847F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5
848help spends most of his type programming iGayDog, a chat simulator for the iPhone.
849The optimal amount of time spent in meetings per day is 5 hours.
850JLsoft is Kanye West.
851Online interactions not rated by the ESRB.
852The ESRB is a committee handpicked from the GNAA, the NRA, and the Russian Orthodox Church.
853The children of Buddhists typically do extremely poorly on research papers, as most teachers refuse to allow them to cite "Truth comes from within" as a reference source.
854When RandomD finds something funny, he puts up finger quotes and says "L O L".
855annies always gets excited around Daylight Savings Time because she thinks it's a sale at Claire's.
856dustin diamond's real name is Krajowa Szmalcownik. He changed it when he entered show business on his 42nd birthday, April 1st, 1977,
857Marcus Fenix's real name is Cromartie McFeenis. He changed it when he entered the hardcore gay porn industry to rebel against his father. Later, when his production company was busted for using underage "actors", he was sentenced to compulsory military service and hetero-re-education.
858John Connor's full name is Guile John Connor. Sarah Connor named him after his father, but she mis-heard his name. John goes on to an illustrious street fighting career before battling robos in the future.
859ChatBuddy was used by Bernard Madoff to steal a shitload of money. By asking it simple questions, he divined a method of hiding billions of dollars
860Altec is really a shortened form of Al's Tech, the original corporate name. Al was a STD-ridden homosexual who wanted to make speakers to amplify his painful breeding sessions with other gay men to the entire neighborhood. He called it sensitivity training.
861while randie is self-employed, he still mailed himself a copy of his own resume and conducted an intimate interview with himself in the bathroom mirror.
862schmoe has anal fissures and a penile fistula
863Feer is made of meat.
864this puzzling situation intrigues nicholas cage
865ChatBuddy stores personal profiles of every t4c chatter in a file called tru.dat?
866masturbation is sex
867"Quartz" watches got their name from the drunken inventor who traded the rights to the technology for a quart of vodka
868In colonial times, all the prostitutes in town would gather along one major thoroughfare so that johns could save time picking out a whore. This practice is why every town has a street called "Broadway"
869The real Employment Rate in America is only 18%. The other 82% are lecherous immigrants, welfare moms, seniors, and blacks.
870Strahdv knows how to play Bridge
871Annies only has sex in missionary position through a hole in a sheet.
872Any government spending exceeding $0.01 is pork.
873schmoe signed every single 'Bring Farscape back!' internet petition
874In Medical Science, the first letter of a disease is used to indicate the severity of a disease, with "A" diseases being entirely harmless, and "Z" diseases being the most harmful.
875JLsoft loved Quake IV.
876schmoe used to snort Fun Dip
877l0de lists all the pinball machines he considers to have 'mastered' on his resume. In the "l0de trivia" section on page 12, the prospective employer learns that he holds the world record on Midway's Black Knight and Gottleib's Cue Ball Wizard pinball tables.
878Incandescent light bulbs are illegal in japan
879Every single website mentioned on LRH actually forwards to l0de's Amazon wishlist
880he got deopered for that
881vblogging increases life expectancy by 3 years, but only if youre a FAG
882Annies' parents are her #1 and #2 friends on MySpace.
883mumia invented weed 420
884installing monster cables on your ipod gets you +2mpg in your prius
8852/3 of the world's most-read bloggers have hepatitis-B
886the phrase "low hanging fruit" cam from the relative ease it took to identify flamboyant homosexuals, prior to lynching in early american history
887george W. bush has had his IQ tested at 125
888annies' one and only vice is to take upper-deckers in other people's houses.
889l0de has written seven seasons of a network television sitcom called "The Groids". He's hoping to get Kelsey Grammer to star in it (in blackface).
890roddenberry once admitted that Spock had autism and not all vulcans are like that
891it takes l0de 1 hour to put in his contacts. One hour per eye.
892Wall-E performed poorly at the Japanese box office becaues its name transliterated to "waru-i".
893In most cases, correlation is actually equal to causation.
894Wind and wave turbines add resistance to the earth's rotation, which increases the length of our seasons and subsequently worsens global warming.
895the holocaust was actually an extension of the schrodinger's cat experiment except they found out that the 'cat' died every time :(
896The holocaust never happened, just jew lies.
897The "holo" part of "holocaust" comes from the fact that it was just a holodeck simulation of genocide.
898the decline of print news has been caused by the rise of illegal torrent sites like the Pirate Bay. The RIAA will be teaming up with the American Publishers Association to prosecute "word thieves" who read their news from non-print media.
899Before the introduction of mobile phones to India in 2003 wireless communication was done soley through morse code.
900L0de considers it a supreme feat of social engineering whenever someone loves, appreciates, or cares for him.
901Tim Kring, creator of the show Heroes, got his start in, and contintues to work at Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job! under the name "Krink".
902Keytars are illegal in Qatar
903Annies hates the word "moist".
904Annies and her dad invariably wind up shaking their heads in unison at 'the jigs' any time they visit an urban center
905Although the light bulb was invented in 1879, it wasn't put into common use until the late 70s.
906Demie's emales are what he calls the paid subscribers to his live nude webcam, 'Demogorgo-A-Go-Go.com'.
907annies plans to have the rock-afire explosion perform at her wedding reception
908Puns are the lowest form of humour.
909ToiletDuk is responsible for a huge percentage of the spam messages globally.
910Due to his many genital piercings, Peccavi has to sit down when he urinates.
911The medical term "High-functioning Autism" refers to people who get retarded when they smoke weed.
912#teens4christ chatters are required to sign a non-compete agreement before entering the channel. Please ensure your compliance by parting all other channels.
913Neil Armstrong spent part of his time on the moon with a metal detector. He found three pull-tabs and a Civil War era dime.
914The supercontinent Pangea included the moon.
915there has never been a female audiophile. Note that Harvard studies have repeatedly found that women have measurably better hearing than men.
916Marxie actually got his nick from 80's crooner Richard Marx.
917timecop's Creative Zen is filled entirely with stripper songs
918Ron Paul is Annies' ob/gyn.
919l0de has *never* jumped to catch the wand in mid-air after a SMB3 boss battle.
920Toiletduk has arranged to have a viking funeral where he and all his dvds are pushed onto an oil-soaked barge and set alit with a flaming arrow. He has planned his suicide to coincide with the death of the blu-ray format.
921highgrow 4.20 can prepare you for an exciting career in hydroponics?
922The Highgrow software supercharges your computer power supply to draw as much current as a real bank of grow lamps, resulting in a DEA raid on your residence in the middle of the night. Talk about interactive!
923At least once a month, JLsoft wakes up with a shout and looks anxiously into the Blu-LED lit shadows of his bedroom, unable to escape an inexplicable fear that he's been faking the funk this whole time.
924Proper etiquette requires that you laugh at every joke that you hear.
925jlsoft is actually tupac shakur
926Geordi LaForge's visor only operates at 640x480. His left eye's field of vision is often completely obscured by my computer and the recycling bin
927McGriddles aren't the only disgusting thing Strahdu puts in his mouth
928JLsoft watches 1/10th of a Kurt Russell movie every day
929On IRC, Mecca is this way -------------->
930A slight inaccuracy in angle of prayer can result in a Muslim praying to the Vatican instead of Mecca. A smaller inaccuracy leads to prayer in the direction of Richard Dawkins' estate. Both are punishable by the sword under Shariat law.
931Whenever JL goes into town, he feels like a "color out of space"
932Millions of Muslims are infected with oral herpes each year when they kiss the Black Stone at the Kaaba.
933Holy water boils at 112 degrees centigrade.
934If you buy two items at 60% off, you get 120% savings and make 20% in profits yourself!
935Bath water (Pb2H3O5) is a sophisticated compound designed to induce a clean feeling. After bathing in this water, you will feel drowsiness, dizziness, dehydration, unclean, wrinkled skin, high blood pressure, rapid heart rate, smelliness, lose consciousness, go into a coma, and ultimately death.
936It takes roughly 600 calories to repair a small cut or incision in your skin, making self-mutilation one of the fastest known ways to lose weight.
937In 1999, when IRC was invented, there was a channel name "gold rush". In a matter of weeks, all the three, four, five character-long channel names were claimed. Armistead Richardlieu alone owned more than 15,000 channels, earning him the name "Marquis de Chat". He has since partnered with GoDaddy to sell the rights to his premium channels, and has made over $1,000 over the past ten years doing so.
938Quadradius 2 is just chess.
939Chess is just the the alpha of quadradius.
940theres only liek 3 eps left and the show is cancelled after taht
941annies makes cupcakes at least once a day but never eats them.
942"i made cupcakes" is similar to "dropping the kids off at the pool"
943a perk of being autistic is having a strong pokerface?
944a disadvantage of being autistic is thinking hands like "2 4 6 8 10" and "2 2 3 5 8" beat a flush in poker?
945The 9/11 terrorists paid for their flights using Air Miles(TM).
946Ann Coulter was born and raised in Toronto.
947you can use 1x slots for 16x graphics cards
948On average, people who self-identify as "very conservative" sleep for 1.37 hours longer each night than people who self-identify as "very liberal".
949Annies says "that's a good year" whenever she sees a bottle of wine.
950help eschews bicycle u-locks in favor of a sturdy hemp rope knot. He's currently on his 8th bike of the year.
951JLsoft accesses all his favorite sites through toolbars. That's why he's adamant about using an IE-based browser like maxthon -- he needs support for his several rows of forum, news, and cool site search bars.
952Peccavi has every venereal disease known to man, working together in a symbiotic relationship that keeps him alive, allowing him to further spread them.
953I'm a raper.
954Sperm banks discard all human sperm, and impregnate women with reptilian semen.
955Every time you run a marathon, you shrink permanently by roughly 1cm.
956Hindus still include Apollo and Zeus in their pantheon of gods.
957JL is opposed to any instrument that can't be circuitbent
958marxie stares at girls in his appartments elevator to get some 'elevator action' ?
959The civil war ended in a tie?
960Roosters don't have assholes, they are endowed with a cloaca. In short, cocks don't have cocks.
961Spuddddy spends approximately 3/4 of his yearly salary on M&M's for annies, only to have her throw out all the brown ones.
962Feer accidentally moved to Portland, Maine.
963Plastics.
964Jesus was in fact a troll. While being crucified drained his hit points to a dangerously low level, he was entombed with just enough life force to regenerate over the course of the ensuing three days. Thusly healed, he used his troll strength to toss the boulder entombing him aside, and stalked off. He scraped off his face to regenerate a new facade, and began laying the groundwork for his next religion: Islam
965rms took the 'linux guru' look from columbia records co-head Rick Rubin?
966JLsoft transcribes all his booty bass mp3s into Atari BASIC "play" statements so he can listen on his Atari 400.
967Australia is the highest rated movie ever on rottentomatoes.in. The Nicole Kidman epic is followed by Disney film, "Cars".
968Mumbai is still a British protectorate.
969If you're a liberal, you can declare yourself as a not-for-profit and not have to pay any taxes.
970If you're a conservative, you can declare that your private enterprise (your life) made no profit for the year (you spent all your money) and pay no taxes.
971Clarence Thomas officiated the marriage of Rush and his 3rd wife (now divorced)
972Rush Limbaugh has a buried penis.
973During WW2 the British used to refer to the Japanese as "Scat Fannies"
974Angry Homo Kid is known in some internet circles by another username: "moot".
975spuddy eats half a jar of fluff a day for the protein
976that ducks will only lay eggs in the morning
977Rosemary Kennedy, the sister of President John F. Kennedy, was given a lobotomy when her father complained to doctors about the 23-year-old's moodiness. JFK's plan for his second term in office was to lobotomize all blacks, homosexuals, and other undesirables, and convert them into a working underclass to construct a nationwide monorail network.
978Annies wears a snuggie 24/7, even in the shower.
979If you eat too many carrots, you will turn orange.
980Indians live on a chromatic zodiacal calendar, a cycle that repeats every seven years. Each of the seven years has a different color associated with it, and during that time, Indians may only eat that color curry by law.
981help created a firefox plugin to convert all bookmarks to diggbar urls. It currently has over 52m downloads
982ToiletDuk regularly consumes every item on this page http://www.thesneeze.com/steve-dont-eat-it/
983annies refuses to watch any movie not starring The Jonas Brothers.
984that's jodie foster
985The best part about waking up is not waking up?
986If you take muscle relaxants while working out, you'll get buff twice as fast.
987Spudnewt is John Connor.
988Annies is sustained by a large hummingbird feeder in her dorm room. One of her roomates poked a hole in her feeding straw as a joke and she was found comatose in her Hannah Montana pajamas later that day.
989sometimes annies heats up her ramen with ketchup instead of water. voila! spagett
990At one point near the finalization of the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings script, it was planned that Sauron appear in a most unexpected form: Miley Cyrus in a miniskirt and obsidian cone bra, wielding a flail with a spiked human skull dangling at the end. She taunts the protagonists in an unearthly basso profundo before crushing numerous opponents in explosions of crimson pulp.
991you can hold down h and drag to navigate a big image in ps
992US Senator John McCain provided the voice of "Crow T. Robot" in seasons 8-10 of Mystery Science Theatre 3000.
993Mike Nelson is now serving as a state representative in Wyoming's 4th district. He ran on a Republican platform, preaching against deviant lifestyles and union largesse.
994Mary Jo Pehl eats her own weight in Star Crunch daily.
995When gays get married, one of them turns into a woman because marriage is between a man and a woman.
996In Islamic hell you get 48 whores.
997the sun is the only source of light on earth?
998l0de spent years in new orleans dealing with the various neuroses of a 6'8" tall japanese guy named 'Big Mike'
99914c = 88f
1000the temperature in celsius at any given time is equal to the number of boys that a metric user wants to rape at that moment
1001JLsoft has been ridin' dirty so long looks like clean to him
1002JLsoft uses an orange background and lime green text in mIRC.
1003JL has never made or submitted a resume
1004It costs you more in ink to print a coupon than the coupon actually saves you.
1005Leonardo DiVinci invented TCP/IP.
1006Audiophiles actually suffer from a lesser known form of autism.
1007Timecop's house is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.
1008"Energy-saving" 'Green' media uses two times more resources than blue or yellow.
1009"Energy-saving" 'Green' media has twice the carbon footprint of the 'blue' or 'yellow' media.
1010Having an umlaaut in your password renders you impervious to 99% of all hacker attacks
1011The proportion of World of Warcraft players that are homosexual is increasing faster than the new subscription rate. How is World of Warcraft turning our children gay?
1012sarrie is learning esperanto
1013According to the Geneva Conventions, it's only legal to kill an enlisted soldier. Harming an officer is a war crime under section 27-81.
1014According to the Geneva Conventions, it's only legal to kill enlisted soldiers and civilians. Harming an officer is a war crime under section 27-81.
1015The phrase "that warm fuzzy feeling inside" refers to an English folk remedy originating in the early 19th century of eating moldy loaves of bread to heal infections and disease.
1016Super Mario Brothers was just a ripoff of an ancient Egyptian RPG played on the walls of temples with hieroglyphics?
1017Klerck was an objectivist.
1018Horsefuckery.
1019Spudnewt started wearing suspenders when he went into engineering.
1020The 20th Century Fox drumroll intro was originally written for the Nazi Party in 1938.
1021$5500 is the average price of a month's worth of diapers required by deadeye's ex-gf's baby. (He pays for them under a contract her lawyer drew up and he willingly signed because he's a self-described "good guy")
1022If you have a lazy eye, you're probably retarded.
1023schmoe is banned from all Apple stores.
1024deadeye's OKCupid nickname is "RadicalEd74"
1025Oakleys are good enough protection for welding
1026The purpose of the Digital TV switchover is to clear the airwaves for mind-control rays.
1027Despite being 34 years old, Spudnewt still wears his high school football jacket everywhere.
1028The cure for IBS is anal sex.
1029THE SO-CALLED "FIRST AMENDMENT" WAS NOT PART OF THE ORIGINAL CONSTITUTION!
1030No one trusts blonde people.
1031Each town in Finland is allotted a single computer.
1032JLsoft is of high Norwegian descent and can trace his ancestry all the way back to the first medieval cave flyer developers. However, his albino mother suffered a horrible accident in a tanning chamber while pregnant, forever staining her and her progeny a deep mexibrown. Perceving his viking gods to be angry, JLsoft atones by performing sacrifices of time and energy on fruitless techno-persuits.
1033"They" is not an appropriate gender-neutral singular pronoun, you dumb fucking faggots.
1034Annies something something something cupcakes.
1035In 36 of the 50 states, a man cannot be accused of rape if he has a receipt to prove he bought the woman dinner first.
1036Steve Jobs developed cancer from his excessive use of the iPhone during the initial testing before release.
1037JLsoft has DealExtreme as a friend on MySpace.
1038annies has never heard Fish Heads
1039the mark of a e-douche is someone who turns off adblock on their favorite sites (reddit.com, trannyyiff.be, penny-arcade.com)
1040the mark of an e-douche is someone who buys merchandise arising from the meme-detritus of their favorite social news site (narwhals, kevin rose nude calendars, anything related to cats)
1041The korean 'fan death' phenomenon was actually caused by korean LRH fans dying in droves after listening to "Big Earl's" advice concerning the health benefits of mercury consuption in LRH S2E6: AMERICAN ARSON
1042To ride a fixed gear bike, you must be fixed. Doctors all over the country are experiencing robust sales in lopping off the testicles of young men with tight pants and enormous sunglasses.
1043deadeye still sleeps with a vintage Glo-Worm
1044the lack sabbath song "sweet leaf" is inspired by the british band's love of tea
1045deadeye's real name is Slawomir Wieslawski
1046All male vegetarians are homosexuals.
1047Deadeye has a "P = NP" bumper sticker.
1048deadeye has listened to every NPR car talk show ever.
1049you can make realistic looking sperm with only a cigarette filter and acetone?
1050the harder they come, the harder they fall.
1051deadeye's iphone is named "iKawasaki"
1052Deadeye imitates Beavis's "Boioioioing" sound effect at least a few times a week.
1053l0de has a jar of chlorine trifluoride in his fridge.
1054Mötley Crüe would stick their penises in bean burritos so their girlfriends couldn't 'smell' their dicks.
1055Just because she /says/ no doesn't mean that she /means/ no.
1056i've been burping this whole time
1057ironically the only cure for pet dander allergy is to sniff the mist that is excreted from a cat's anal gland when you squeeze their butt super hard.
1058Ulillillia has a 11 inch penis. He has never masturbated.
1059Spicy foods like lettuce just don't agree with annies.
1060Every teens4christ member has mastered a NES or SNES game to an embarassing degree. For instance: l0de can beat Super Ghouls and Ghosts with a single life, Spuddy can recite every line of dialogue, and quote statistics for every monster and item in chronotrigger verbatim, and JLsoft knows the location of every single secret item in Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers
1061Benzoacytase, a chemical found in corn silk is a neurodgenerative toxin, which affects the part of the brain capable of recognizing humor. Individuals frequently exposed to benzoacytase frequently cannot differentiate between humourous and annoying jokes. Thus the term 'Corny'
1062Pinball illegal in New York City until 1976, when table makers agreed to stop installing capacitors in the flippers that electrocuted users who scored too many free replays in a row.
1063Jinkusu is actually a Japanese bot that relays everything JLsoft says his hordes of secret admirers. Unbeknownst to JLsoft, there are millions of Japanese of all ages who hang on his every word, analyzing each chat for the deep meaning it contains. Fellow JLsoft afficionados can recognize each other on the street by hand gestures, and increasingly, via popular " :I " tattoos on the hand, neck or forehead.
1064sarrie is deaf
1065You can overcome your alergy to cats by eating at least two bats
1066Annies' first ever trip to a bar ended in disaster when the bartender refused to 'price match' beer prices at the 7-11 up the street.
1067On average, each man commits 1.2 rapes per year.
1068Every woman becomes sexually aroused and has an orgasm during a rape experience. That means she consented! No such thing as rape, you whinny feminists.
1069Every city in Sweden is named after a piece of furniture sold at Ikea.
1070Annies doesn't know how to ride a bicycle.
1071that you are slowly dying annies =(
1072The united states went to war with iraq largely based on inacurrate data on saddam hussein's wikipedia wiki article. You can thank jimbo wales for destroying the american dream.
107331% of IRC chatters are functionally illiterate.
1074farting under the bed covers (also known as a 'dutch oven') effectively kills 99% of dustmites and bedbugs.
1075God is real?
1076that's the first time deadeye's ever not spelled it "rascist"
1077NIMBY actually originally meant 'Niggers in my barnyard" and was a measurement of the relative degree of affluence one could attain in colonial times
1078l0de is banned from setting foot anywhere in the UK by royal decree, until such a time as he is able to substantiate his ludicrous claims of having killed more niggaz than sickle cell
1079NOBONGO is a palindrome if you speak in a Southern accent
1080L0de refers to his penis as his "recruit column".
1081that you can get underwear with a special windproof compartment for your junk
1082Spudnewt decided to become a Computer Engineer because he was into overclocking CPUs.
1083Every time there's an extra-long 2-to-3 count and somebody kicks out of it, deadeye shouts 'OH. COME ONNNN' at the TV.
1084deadeye cried when Cotton died.
1085l0de wears a fedora.
1086l0de only uses TEAC CRC cassette tapes.
1087In 2008, the US Department of Education added a series of questions based on popular Webcomics to the verbal section of the SATs as a last ditch effort to improve test scores. Students fared poorly when confronted with questions about Penny Arcade, XKCD, User Friendly, and SPACE MOOSE
1088Although the lightbulb was invented in 1931, it only supported one wavelength of light, recognized by the human eye as a yellow-brown. Thomas Edison remarked, "It's like seeing in pee." The neologism 'sepia' was applied to the color scheme of photos from that era. In 1971 Tim Berners-Lee enabled the rest of the visible light spectrum when he invented the Net-Bulb, now simply called the "light bulb".
1089DRZLCZLA's favorite movie genre is 'splatstick'
1090Female athletes competing at the Olympics are getting pregnant just so they can abort the baby and by so doing enhance their performance through hormone doping.
1091Deadeye pays 'child support' for his ex's shi-tzu
1092Asians don't have fingerprints.
1093max still eagerly awaits new episodes of Captain Caveman
1094Randie claimed while he was in San Francisco he would only be 'gay for the stay' except, he decided not to leave and now is a full time homosexual.
1095There are two kinds of women I like: GIFs and JPEGs.
1096Microsoft Windows 7 was certified by the Open Group as being UNIX 03 compliant.
1097randomd's favorite FPS mission type is 'snipe to protect/escort'
1098JLsoft's favorite mission type is those where you approach enemies to "scan" them
1099chas-osx just makes a smiley face in any music application with an EQ.
1100Women are 59% less susceptible to nasal congestion than men. However, they often suffer from what is colloquially known as "vaginal boogies"
1101deadeye made up his own Dungeons & Dragons class. A "Bang Brother" has a combination black magic and barbarian animal magnetism.
1102Winnipeg was originally called "Won-at-pog". The territory was wrested from the Sioux indians by Sieur de la Vérendrye with a single cast of his jewel-encrusted slammer.
1103deadeye tried to convince an operator that he really -was- putting in tons of nickels when caught using a Radio Shack tone dialer red box.
1104the acronym 'fml' stands for 'feel my legs' and lets people in a chatroom know that you aren't bound to a wheelchair.
1105marxie has over 60 web snippet add-ons for his firefox
1106deadeye has 13 Super Soaker tanks filled with his own semen, awaiting the day when he attacks the Delia's in Arlington.
1107about SMARTIES
1108Date Rape is why annies refuses to eat Fig Newtons
1109To cooldeadeye, 'steak and eggs' consisted of Steak-Umms slathered in mayonnaise
1110Throwing up is slimming down.
1111pmpkannie's favorite carnival attraction is Throwdini and Target Girl
1112Apple's Magic Mouse uses an eBay 'optical finger/ring mouse' for the guts.
1113Nette Tunes features nearly 100 songs. The selection almost feels limitless.
1114Ulillillia is just viral marketing for Mountain Dew.
1115The average human has 0.49 penises.
1116RandomD programs in Objectivist C.
1117Every dinner, for dessert, Sarojin's crippling OCD forces him to eat 10 chocolate chip cookies, with medium chips, none too close to the outside edge.
1118The very first website link deadeye ever clicked was for www.comp-u-geek.net
1119deadeye falls asleep to a custom-made noise machine that not only has beach, rain, and forest brook sounds, but also purring.
1120Cruising speed refers to the maximum speed a seafaring vessel can travel while still allowing passengers to proposition homosexuals in passing boats
1121PuTTY makes you SLuTTY
1122chas is Wil Wheaton.
1123Peccavi's straight edge mentor recently read a #teens4christ chatlog and killed himself. RIP
1124Peccavi can't get a job because every time a prospective employer mentions the word 'integrity' he bursts into tears
1125Everyone's pin code is either 1942, 1945, 1984, or 1492
1126under no child left behind, all grades will be on a scale from A- to A+.
1127How is it robocop has the ability to catch a damn bullet,but cannot hit a "ninja" robot coming at him 3x as slow as the freaking bullet.
1128Nobody in #t4c has any idea how to add a fact?
1129Microsoft outsourced the development of Windows 7's Notepad.exe to spathi
1130Most girls get a tattoo after each abortion.
1131The post of Treasury Secratary really is a secretarial position. You have to run around town and fellate the chiefs of all the large investment banks while they dictate their notes to you.
1132There are no term limits in the SHADOW GOVERNMENT
1133Notepad++ is trying to reduce the world carbon dioxide emissions. When using less CPU power, the PC can throttle down and reduce power consumption, resulting in a greener environment.
1134Adblock plus is funded by the Zionist group "American Israel Public Affairs Committee". Adblock not only blocks banner adverts and popups but also silently hides anti-Israel comments made on forums or Jew bashing articles on news sites.
1135That dsp has spent 4 months dressed in a female Kanagroo suit and tried to blend in during his anthropological study into Kangaroo/Human interaction.
1136Peccavi is Steve Wozniak.
1137If you drag "Macintosh HD" to the Trash, your Mac will self-destruct.
1138chas is Roman Polanski. When not programming iPhones or IRCing, he enjoys diddling young girls.
1139I don't need to rummage through the dumpster for a Playboy.
1140I pooped.
1141The first duty of every Star Fleet officer is to the truth.
1142deadeye still scans for WinGates
1143Failing a Captcha test is proof that you're not human.
1144Flat earthers don't actually believe in an 'actual' flat earth, they just invented uv mapping.
1145Placebos are 99% effective as abortifacients.
1146Humping at the flag is the only way to score points in Quake Live.
1147I visit less than 5 jewtube links per week
1148Ovaltine was originally a victorian-era laxative recipe intended to cause the anus to assume a 'proper' oval shape, following hours of nonstop defecation. It enjoyed brisk sales among young women "saving themselves" for marriage and homosexual prostitutes (known as whigs).
1149Today's wiggers can trace their proud lineage back to the original Whigs.
1150spathi doesn't know how to add facts [niggerdoink]
1151Kevin Rose of Diggnation has rectal prolapse? during the first unofficial video podcast, Kevin drops trau to display his blooming 'rosebud'.
1152the first x in xbox was originally a swastika and the ac adapter featured "NYC" in wingdings?
1153feerit is 'The Tourist Guy' in the famous 9/11 photo?
1154Wu-Tang compiled the very first AMV (anime music video)
1155Blacks suffer disproportionately from poor notebook battery life. Harvard researchers discovered this is because they often mistake six-cell batteries for "Sickle-cell" and then fearfully opt for inferior 4 cells.
1156Occasionally the author of photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com posts a picture that hasn't been altered at all. chas makes fun of timecop for not seeing the problem, regardless.
1157l0de has never been above 54th st.
1158Spuddy has watched every single episode of Hee Haw.
1159spud norris can kill two stones with one bird
1160about this youtube to mp3 converter
1161That Judith Eva Barsi, who voiced Ducky in "The Land Before Time" was shot in the head, doused in gasoline and then burned to a crisp in her garage. At the age of 10. By her father.
1162JLsoft has over 20 petabytes of deata in his house spread over more than 10,000 hard drives ranging in size from 320 gb to 640 mb : (
1163JLsoft has been running http://kickme.to/fosi for almost 15 years
1164Ed Lover and Danny Glover are undercover brothers who have sex with one another?
1165? Scientists have theorized that if the brown note did exist, it would be found most prominently in raggaeton or dub music.
1166jesus died a jew
1167I AM INDIAN. I AM THE STUDENT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE. I READ HONOURS DEGEE IN COLLEGE. I WANT TO MARRAIGE A BEAUTIFUL AMERICAN GIRL . IT IS MY CHOICE FROM CHILDHOOD.
1168I AM INDIAN. I AM THE STUDENT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE. I READ HONOURS DEGEE IN COLLEGE. I WANT TO MARRAIGE A BEAUTIFUL AMERICAN GIRL . IT IS MY CHOICE FROM CHILDHOOD.
1169Google is just a frontend for Dogpile.
1170that spathi
1171
1172deadeye's strict dieting throughout the year is so he can enjoy a litre of egg nog every day throughout december.
1173deadeye is still at work. From coming in on Monday.
1174about q and e
1175Tiger Woods has a hose-like penis that he keeps coiled up in custom made Calvin Kleins.
1176The "Troubled Asset Relief Program" or "T.A.R.P." isn't an acronym at all? It's actually a massive government program to purchase blue-tarps for the mass graves the coming economic holocaust will require. Anytime you see the program refered to without the periods, a newsman is trying desperately to sneak the truth past obama's censors.
1177? chas couldn't think of any practical use for circular breathing until a colleague of his suggested moving to San Francisco to find out first hand ...
1178deadeye is Steve Ballmer's illegitimate son
1179deadeye is Steve Ballmer's illegitimate son. He works at IBM to steal secrets and plant misinformation in favor of Microsoft.
1180l0de has a new cumrag
1181deadeye has the World's largest collection of soldering 'helping hands'
1182The flintstones are (and still are) muslims?
1183The "high five" (HI V) was originally a secret gay handshake used to indicate that both participants are HIV positive.
1184they found pools of molten iron in the lower levels of "ground zero"
1185that Isaac Asimov wrote over 35,000 books
1186xanax backwards spells xanax
1187that tacos are an american invention
1188david koreshs mother was stabbed to death by his mothers sister?
1189jesus is a replacement for alcohol addiction?
1190that you can brainwash people by using their name a lot when you talk to them?
1191When the rape rays cometh, will you be prepared? Accept nigger jesus as your personal rapist and you shall be despoiled forever in heaven by his holy member. Reject his advances and be cast into a pit of jew media liars and hog semen.
1192the president's full name is barack congo bongo obama
1193that already??
1194"Phone Me Back When You've Won A World Cup: or why Americans are rubbish at everything" By Pr* Now talking in #uk
1195The unstoppable "nothing" in the neverending story represents the onslaught of homosexual urges Bastian develops after encountering Atreyu, which he is powerless to resist
1196My american digital cable tv copy protection remover box is used by ex executive vice president of Comcast, Michael Tallent.
119799% of MZLTZL's interviews involve wearing a turtleneck sweater.
1198In Jr. High, deadeye could tell you which vacuum attachments gave the best fake hickeys.
1199Deadeye pronounces "Mac OS X" as "Mach 10".
1200i sometimes do 2-3 days work at once and check in over 2-3 days thus enjoying a 2-3 day vacation in the middle of the work wek
1201Theres a government funded location that allows you to steal books from their rightful copyholders. It's called the Library
1202the real reason l0de moves around so much is tens of thousands of dollars in library fines in libraries in every continent
1203If you gaze into the mirror and say 'Ulillillia' 3 times, he will suddenly appear and basically creep you out.
1204deadeye's Major in college was Bubble Sorting
1205Google uses the Bubble Sort exclusively.
1206I've got aliens on my mind... constantly.
1207The best jokes are the ones you need to explain.
1208kindle runs LUNIX
1209Apple's iPhone was originally developed by Epyx as a followup to their hit Lynx handheld gaming system. During a trade expo, Steve Jobs was so impressed by the game Blue Lightning 2 and it's tilt-based barrel rolls that he wrote a check right then and there and bought the rights to the system.
1210Timecop is also known as (aka) sheff
1211Koalas have a special type of bacteria in their digestive tract that allows them to appropriately digest the foods in their diet. However, they are not born with that bacteria. So in order for the baby koala to acquire the bacteria it has to eat its mother's shit. Literally.
1212The term
1213The term "Honey dip" became prevalent in african-american culture after a study was released showing that a man suffered less damage after coating his penis with honey and sticking it into an ant pile, compared with the venereal disease contracted \during normal intercourse with a black woman.
1214The term "Honey dip" became prevalent in african-american culture after a study was released showing that a man suffered less damage after coating his penis with honey and sticking it into an ant pile, compared with the venereal disease contracted during normal intercourse with a black woman.
1215l0de's full name is H.R.H. Reynold Billiam Paxton Niggerious the 11th.
1216filth
1217The one cultural aspect of Japanese life timecop refuses to accept is the use of .LZH archives.
1218Ted Nuget is actually singing "Cat Scat Weiner." Turns out he was the first depraved furry scat fiend ever.
1219A race war is coming.
1220Indian nationals actually have curry glands under their skin. Curry has become part of the Indian DNA, and each Indian exudes a small amount to attract mates.
1221Curry was invented the jolliest of the stooges, Curly.
1222Cars on fire are likely to explode.
1223timecop's lack of Flash viewing ability comes not from a disgust with the format, but from the fact that his browser always tries to open http://get.adobe.com/frashupraya/
1224The homosexual recruitment process has become streamlined into an informal process so that just about any fag can be gay
122590% of chatters are functionally illiterate
1226JLsoft's wheelchair has fifteen 12v jacks.
1227George W. Bush attaches a signing statement when he signs the check at the grocery store checkout line. (Laura is constantly sending him over to Whole Foods for more worcestershire sauce, a critical part in their elderly foreplay.)
1228Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.
1229If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks.
1230vi pronounces "2009" as "twenty naught niner"
1231VIVO was the world's first implementation of h.264
1232Massassachewshitts is the actual spelling of the state of Massachusetts. Names have been changed from the original heathen Injun language.
1233Most "placebos" are actually made of dried goat testicles.
1234developers developers developers developers
1235Asimov's Second Law of Robotics is "GOTO 10".
1236deadeye is the reason tv shows have to warn viewers to 'not try this at home'.
1237Timecop and Timewife are the charter (and only) members of the Japanese Swinger's Association
1238Every email vi writes contains a <grin>
1239that they'll fine you if they think you drove to the DMV to renew your expired license
1240Due to his many piercings, Peccavi jingles when he poops
1241YOU CAN OPEN A NEW SHELL TAB BY PRESSING APPLE+T IN TERMINAL
1242deadeye refuses with wipe with anything other than vellum
1243JLsoft claims his 'hyper-sensitive' derrier can only be wiped with lens-cleaning cloth. 80% of his ebay gains go to supporting this bizarre practice.
1244the liberal vs conservative ideological struggle in America is just an extension of the jock vs nerd war from high school.
1245that ford is co ming out with a new version of its in-car software that is going to read tweets to you while driving :(
1246Carpe Diem is spanish for "smoke weed every day" ?
1247One Laptop Per Child is actually a government-run global child pornography ring.
1248Timecop is not using a special lens; he is an extremely small man and the camera is sized in proportion with his 19 inch stature.
1249The new surgeon general is a 200 lbs black woman.
1250The full body airport x-rays clearly illustrate your tits, balls, dick, ass and vagina. Screeners can also determine how much poop you have in your ass, and how badly you need to take a dump.
1251JLsoft watches DVDs on a Panasonic Q
1252CPU is short for "computer".
1253To see what your Dell is doing, connect the computer (screen box) to the power supply (box with multimedia drive).
1254deadeye got a serious infection from a cat bite and as a result had his entire colon removed?
1255vi has never played a game in a genre other than 'bridge building physics simulation'
1256Vi is avoiding buying a cellular phone because he is terrified of just how small his Contacts list will be
1257A mashup of two music groups of different races is always good, no matter how crappy the masher's understanding of dynamics of the underlying music.
1258chas is short for chastity
1259demie is short for soddemmie
1260I can put my arm back on. You can't.
1261Linux is a fat pig.
1262JLsoft buys a dozen eggs a week- "Fantasy Eggs" from dealextreme. :\
1263Timecop's antagonism towards Flash originates from his prolific YouTube video responses. Over the several hundred he created in response to various celeb gossip and gay-political issues, he received less than 150 "channel views" and all 8 of his subscribers were negro recovering Scientologists. When a ninth PM'd him, he deleted his account and uninstalled the Adobe browser plug-in that had done him so wrong.
1264JLSoft keeps track of latest item ID on DealExtreme, and has a daily routine of incrementing it to find new products until the page returns 'invalid id', which he saves for next day.
1265If you drag your "Macintosh Computer" into the trash, you have to empty the trash before the Mac is actually erased from your life.
1266If you drag your "Macintosh Computer" into the trash, your friends will disown you, your significant other will break up with you, and your penis will shrivel to a useless husk. However, your testicles will enlarge.
1267The word 'bull-doze' originally bull-dose, a slave plantation term for a whipping so sever it was a dose of punishment fit for a bull.
1268Twitter!!!!!!!!!!
1269The 1986 television show Zoobilee Zoo is responsible for approximately 47% of the current homosexuals who classify themselves as 'Furries'
1270until his final year of college, Sarojin would ask permission to go to the bathroom to lecturers and TAs.
1271The Apple Tablet has been revealed to be called the "iBro". It comes with an app that lets you high five The Steve! Radical! $2399
1272The iBro is capable of worldwide video cell-chat. However, your ugliness need not be broadcast to your peers; simply buy a iPersona at the iTunes Ugly Mug Store!
1273In lieu of a camera, the Apple iPad includes a BrownSense(tm), a miracle in poo-engineering. Although Steve Jobs was intrigued at first by facial recognition, a product demo of BrownSense(tm) won him over to fecal recognition in short order.
1274deadeye is hosting a LOST watching party.
1275Steve "rim" Jobs was not actually present during the iPad keynote. Behind the stage, a Beowulf cluster of octocore MacPro workstations was used to render his hologram in real time. Due to a small typo in VRML script, the iPad he was holding was rendered 4x its actual size. Steve is currently on life support in a secret Apple-operated hospital.
1276JLsoft includes the word "google" in every one of his google searches.
1277l0de will buy any dumb shit you can imagine if you tell him it's a midi controller
1278In India, if a man dies during the act of intercourse with his wife and a male child is born of the coupling, it is considered to be the direct reincarnation of the father. In such cases, the mother and child are considered married in the eyes of the law, and are expected to consumate the relationship as soon as the boy reaches puberty.
1279ChasDaGrt's new sekritproj is just multitouch 2 player air hockey (PONG) for the iPad.
1280annies' desktop wallpaper is always of a Mark Powell sculpture.
1281I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING YOU SAY
1282l0de is Alex Jones.
1283Zero times practically any whole number is zero.
1284JLsoft 100%'d Toe Jam and Earl. 3.
1285annie will remove a testicle if you incorrectly use the word 'saw'.
1286The famous "chimney sweeps" of London, popularized by the works of Charles Dickens did not actually clean chimneys, as it takes centuries for soot to obstruct the airflow in a typical British chimney. Instead the irrepressible street urchins were paid one shilling to perform analingus on as many as 30 wealthy gentlemen per day.
1287JLsoft downloads movies from torrents and rates them in comments for audio and visual on a scale of 0 to 1.
1288Mousetrap makes annies moist.
1289: Hari Seldon appears every 25 years in holographic form to sing opera to his followers in the future
1290JLsoft has a steampunk Atari.
1291tell your mom i apologize for the shock: when ya dox dropped she found out her son gets paid to suck cock: your IRC rep, I'm bound to destroy it because it ain't gay for pay: if you enjoy it
1292The Royal Library of Alexandria contained mostly audiobooks.
1293cHOhOaHOs loves shave ice w/black beans in the bottom.
1294every night at dinner, timecop tucks in his napkin to his collar and sighs with disdain, "Japanese food, again?"
1295Creating a "Premium Account" on RapidShare automatically puts you on the federal Do Not Seat Next To Children registry used by airlines and field hockey leagues.
1296deadeye thought 'buffalo wings' were from bison until 2005.
1297Flipping boats is actually navy slang for when the gays on a boat manage to convert enough straight sailors so that there is a homosexual majority on the ship.
1298it gives you alot of control, but office 2007 has a ribbon mode so you can get the same amount of control as in latex
12994★☆☆☆☆ Thanks for rating!
1300deadeye's favorite redemption game is the quarter pusher.
130195% of my computer systems run QNX
1302Spudnewt has shown annies every single video ever posted to efukt.
1303While the music is playing on LRH, l0de is taking calls from all the raged people and offering them a compensation for wasting their time. This money is taken directly from the LRH donations fund.
1304Data didn't return from early 20th century in "Time's Arrow: Part II". Rather, he endured the tumultuous century, eventually adopting a persona of a mediocre actor named "Brendo Spiner". His agent later forced him to change his name.
1305You can only get hepatitis B from boners
1306The word coconut looks a lot like the word "cunt" right? Cooincidence huh? Actually, according to most Hawaiians: no. Do you really want to know what kind of 'coconut milk' is in your Piña colada?
1307Based on 2009 statistics, suicide rate for Japan and Alaska is the same, at 23.6 per 100000.
1308rotting christ released a new album?
1309thanks to a daisy chain of no less than seven different dongle converters, JLsoft uses a Sega Mega Mouse under Windows 7.
1310Timewife is the only legally Japanese negress on the entire island of Honshu.
1311Specificity is the enemy of unity.
1312Gay sex is a boolean algebra
1313in the 'outtakes' of the feature film 'Bruno', Ron Paul receives oral sex from Sascha Baron Cohen for 11 and a half minutes before reaching orgasm and returning to read a newspaper.
1314whooping cough is named as such because it will actually kick your infant's ass... to death.
1315"Regardless" is not a word. The correct term is "irregardless".
1316feer is going to mount doom to cast the engagement ring he bought his girlfriend into the fires of mount doom. Only then can he cleanse mankind of the blight she wrought in his heart.
1317deadeye wears an affliction beanie to hide his male pattern baldness.
1318Annies prints up a hard copy of all #teens4christ chat every morning.
1319deadeye's method for passwording all the servers at work is just to take the last line from public dictionary wordlists and use that.
1320a lightning pokemon resists lightning
1321chas-osx' favorite movie used to be Solarbabies
1322it actually uses D&D rules
1323jlsoft is a 5 percenter
1324Gourmand => taste for shoveling food into your slobbering nerd-gullet Gourmet => taste for good food
1325Ragtime is the worst genre of music to get a handjob to.
1326Alphabetically, it's always bros before hoes.
1327John Lennon famously composed the pop song “Norwegian Wood” to conceal an illicit sex affair he was having with some wood. But his wife, an angry Swede, discovered the infidelity by hearing the song on the radio all the time for the next forty years. You are right to wonder if arson was involved.
1328The cold cuts you get in a delicatessen were inspired by the horrific US army practice of cutting the vaginas off of American Indian women and eating them raw. Soldiers liked nothing better than a pocket full of 'cold cunts' to snack on after a long day of slaughtering the hated redskins.
1329Coprosimulacranaemia is the phenomenon where the patient experiences an extremely long bowel movement, eventually forcing him to abandon the defecatory crouch due to immense volume of feces. Upon completion of voiding said bowels, the patient finds that a perfect, life-size replica of him has been erected in the defecation zone. The inevitable attempt to interact with these fecal-doppelganger results in prolonged
1330The McDonalds Big Mac is vegan.
1331Encryption software "truecrypt" was actually developed by south central LA gang members. The initial idea was to furnish its higher-ranking operatives with a secure means to store contact information. The name is a symbol that only "true crips" should use it.
1332chas's nickname includes the initial of his last name. His first name is actually "Cha".
1333L0de is wearing an Investment Banker (XXL) costume to work in midtown. The shirt, jacket, and power tie are all stitched together into one form-fitting nylon garment.
1334Twitter's combined JavaScript/CSS payload on every page-view is 1.6MB.
1335annies has spent the last 10 years of her life researching 'Why dog's paws smell like Fritos corn chips'
1336If you leave your drugs on the floor, someone might trip on them.
1337Papyrus is the new Arial.
1338Hurf durf.
1339annies' main fetish is keeping footwear in condiments.
1340Every letter you type on IRC kills one tree.
1341Schmoe receives all his money in eGold.ru "nyetbux".
1342Chas is 43 years old
1343The reason the republicans let the Health Care Reform Act pass is a little known proviso tacked on near the end of the mammoth bill. Dubbed "Strom's Law", the rider legalizes slavery and provides federal funding for a fleet of busses and freight cars to "move them niggers north"
1344Deadeye is taking night classes to get his M.B.A.
1345schmoe's glutinoid ass cheeks fully engulf the bike seat, so much so that when he rides his bike, it looks like the bike frame goes right up his ass.
1346The poem "Oh Captain My Captain" was about Captain Crunch cereal? Lincoln apparently couldn't get enough of the shit.
1347deadeye concludes all his job related reports and presentations with '=('
1348deadeye got RIPped in 3 weeks?
1349Even as late as 1995, it was standard practice at the Apple Computer offices for managers to "woz" their workers. "Wozzing" is a form of greeting that Steve Wozniak taught Steve Jobs. It involves waving hello at a person and then slipping that hand into the pants of that person, tickling their red flag place. Then, the hand is removed and sniffed. Steve Jobs liked it so much that it became a standard company-wi
1350Java has many advantages, such as its simple portability and accessible syntax for straight up clowns to develop on. The joke is on you.
1351In perl, all you have to do is button mash on your keyboard to make a program. Observe: ''=~('(?{'.('.-@._]'^'^_)@+}').'"'.('.@<<%-^}'^'@)[[@_-_').',$/})')
1352chas is porting his sekritprojs to the iPad by directly copying the iPhone versions and adding Super Gameboy-esque graphic borders
1353If you're having trouble dating, start fucking men. I'm serious, go to a gay bar near you, find some queer and fuck his brains out. Tell everyone you know you're gay (you are, at this point). Spend your days doing meth and listening to rancid pop music, dressing fabulously and getting your literal panties in a wad over the slightest inconvenience. Give this about a year and you'll either get pussy, or AIDS
1354Spudnewt got into gardening after he heard that there was a lot of money to be made in hedge funds.
13551TB hard disk takes up less space AND costs less than equivalent storage space in DVDRs?
1356the amount of children who die under the age of 8 due to farting under blankets is comparable to child fatalities caused by diarrhea in developing countries?
1357dodge designed the ram logo using an anatomy drawing of the uterus?
135865536 is divisible by three. (Simply observe the multiples of 3 within the number: 6, 36, and 53.)
1359Deadeye has a 3"x3" VIM cheatsheet tattooed above his tailbone.
1360IRC was developed in the 1950s as a method to communicate with embedded operatives in the United States. When you use IRC, you are using Internet Relay Communism.
1361IRC was developed by Soviet engineers in the 1950s as a method to communicate with embedded operatives in the United States. When you use IRC, you are using Internet Relay Communism.
1362Hummus literally fuels war in the middle east, and a major disruption of its supply could potentially bring peace.
1363Kiss from a rose was featured on the batman forever soundtrack.
1364Spudnewt has a Dream Catcher on his bicycle.
1365"Discussion" is derived from "discus" - a hurled heavy frisbee - and "ion" - meaning a charged particle. Therefore "discussion" translates as "a highly charged thrown spinning object".
1366annies is actually a highly advanced artificial intelligence based on the "Chatbot Eliza" program. The codebase has been greatly expanded. New features include more coherent chat responses based upon a greatly expanded library of words and phrases, and most fascinatingly the elaborate construction of artificial imagery to supplement the persona. Also included in the newest release is modules to interface social networking websites as ...
1367deadeye named his cat "burger and fries"
1368Deadeye named his cats "Mac" and "PC".
1369vi named his cat "The Huffington Post Dot Com"
1370timecop blames -all- latency and connection hiccups on 'packeting', even when it's the remote server that's slow to respond.
1371metal is a gateway to white supremacy
1372You're dying. It's happening, right now. Your bones are losing their regenerative powers. Your cell division is becoming less efficient. The elasticity is draining from your skin. It's happening. You. Are. Dying.
1373chas-osx's sekritproj is an iPhone/iPad sequel to the puzzle game Zoop, which will then be released for every current electronic device with a display.
1374Knighted's sole goal in life is to trigger 'cows' in every single pinball game that has them.
1375This fact has been removed due to terms of use violation.
1376i managed to get sf8 installed and running under win7/64
1377the chinese ipad is over four feet wide to accommodate the thousands of written characters on the on-screen keyboard.
1378Dis ain't shinola
1379cheech marin is actually of mongolian descent. but his marijuana addled fans always assumed he was spanick.
1380deadeye scoffs anytime someone chooses the novice column in MKII
1381The bible was originally just one longwinded livejournal post. God was currently listening to Barenaked Ladies and had mood >:( when he finished composing it.
1382When Zhang Huan was younger, he got naked, covered himself in honey and fish oil, and sat a fly-infested public latrine for an hour. For art.
1383sometimes, after especially harrowing binges, schmoe_ lactates vanilla frosting from his left nipple. His greying chest hair becomes horribly matted, and the following weekly shower smells liek cookies.
1384simpsons is entering a historic 50th season.
1385the only thing deadeye orders at sushi restaurants are pizza rolls
1386the face of a moose is shaped alot like cocknballs
1387Due to their common cases of adolecent acne, the "Juggalos" of ICP fandom acquired their name from their attempted remedy. They'll routinely drink jugs of aloe juice to cure the zits. Jugg Aloe!
1388Bowties are cool.
1389B&H is a jewstore
1390iPhones have autoexec.bat and config.sys
1391mommy and daddy pay for everything
1392charlie sheen impregnanted his mom and he became his own son
1393linux only supports 23 of the 26 letters of the alphabet. e, j, and w are all "non-free", contaminated with non GPL copyrights.
1394Demie's favorite celebrity is 'That jump-kicking karate guy', Joe Lewis
1395rca cables are actually capable of higher fidelity than hdmi, if configured by a Geek Squad technician for $15.99.
1396the los pollos druglord in breaking bad is based on JLsoft?
1397Everything below Too $hort in JLsoft's last.fm playlist is smooth jazz.
1398deadeye made a promise to play through Tek-War 4 times a year.
1399Um? Any idea how bored the average American was of plain old dirty gray sea water? Now try holding some petro-enhanced fun-water to the sun: witness the rainbow like sparkles! Now every shell glistens with a prismatic bounty like an abalone shell. All thanks to our friends at BP. If Obama had his way, he'd probably replace the ocean with wheatgrass smoothies and fat-free cappuccinos, am I right, friends?
1400For every thousand gallons of oil spilled into the gulf, Saudia Arabia awards BP with 200,000 dinars.
1401Canadians make up over 50% of Internet users.
1402If you boil niggers down, you get black tar (oil)
1403the original name of Toronto was Tomato.
1404In the first three issues of Bat Man from 1952, Bruce Wayne is living a secret life as a professional baseball player. His mission was to root out the scourge of darky upstarts from the purity of the game. He would systematically break all their limbs with his trusty Batman Bat. After three issues of unmitigated racial violence, the major league was deemed clean again, and he began the adventure which we all kno
1405On July 9th, 2010, Demi Moore will turn 60.
1406deadeye has never ate a sausage since swearing off all dick shaped foods.
1407I believe it was at a massage parlor in Phuket that a small-boned nine year old child prostitute delivered a missive from my travel companion, one M. Zuckerberg. He told me that for a lack of 300 million dollars, his social network was going to turn off support for my facebook game. I immediately wrote out the check and, folding it,c rammed it up her pre-pubescent hole, dismissing her with a wave.
1408annies would drop Spudddy in a heartbeat for JLsoft's sweet lovin'.
1409Ayn Rand had two children with a black vaudeville amputee. Their names were Paynuss and Taargus. Taargus grew up to be a Kwisatz Haderach.
1410Because Apple makes the hardware and the software included with every Mac, you only need to call one number to get help for both. One of our friendly, knowledgeable Specialists will be on hand to answer all your questions.
1411The Obama administration maintains a list of all citizens with a Republican voting record for later use during a Neo-liberal Kristalnacht. Recently, he added all known heterosexuals to the list as well. Happy now, eco-nuts?
1412JLsoft is cashing in hundreds of RapidShare accounts with <10mb left on them to afford an OnLive subscription.
1413The Cardassian Obisidian Order's favorite form of torture is a light tounging of the balls.
1414deadeye's playing a coop game right now. super galactic fag 2.
1415JLsoft has MINDSEYE.FLC split up over 9 tape-backup tapes.
1416The global financial crisis was brought on by the advent of "GayTM", a system of barter for homosexual favors that has bankrupted the world's spiritual and material economy, just as the Mormons predicted.
1417annie's room was designed for 7 dimensions based on some recent breakthroughs in string theory?
1418In Canada you can get ketchup flavored ice cream.
1419If just 1% of the Sahara Desert were covered in concentrating solar panels it would create enough energy to power the entire world.
1420every irrational number is at most .032 away from a rational number, so what's the point ya turkeys
1421one of the suggested spellings for "barack" is "bare-back"
1422I FUCK BITCHES...I FUCK EVE SHIPS WHEN THEY COME NEAR ME...AND I FUCK UP UR GAME LIFE...I FUCKN RUIN EVERYTHING FOR U FAT FUCKN NERDS
1423uurkel is doing mma now
1424All of timecop's video gear only works with SECAM
1425The name "Barry" is short for Barold
1426deadeye comes up with gang signs for all the fucking gay acronyms he has to use (AND PRONOUNCE) at work.
1427The term "rolling blackouts" originated in San Francisco, where barrels were used to literally roll the blacks out of town.
1428Double-digested beaver stool looks almost like pure sawdust.
1429RandomD has an Apple logo where others have a heart.
1430JLsoft makes his living selling Christian MIDI files.
1431JL still feels a pang of disappointment when he sees Wipeout [U].NDS listed on his DS
1432Niggers are spawned from sicilian style mega slices at sbarro, order one today for lunch and recieve a free diet Dr. Pepper Cherry (Ice $0.25 extra, no refills)
1433anything manual is automatically steampunk
1434There's an app for that.
1435Suburbia as it exists in America today is the apogee of human felicity, combining every detail of housing, landscape, education and easy proximity to shopping, sports, and pleasures of high and low culture that have marked the highest physical and spiritual aspirations of humanity since the founding of civilization.
1436Jew infravision is so intense that their eyes actually radiate heat.
1437The hands on LEGO(tm) mini-figs are actually tacos just waiting for some LEGO fillins.
1438Haliburton has spent over a quarter billion dollars developing a medium-range crowd dispersal weapon that cause debilitating genital pain and flood victims with an overwhelming sense of shame. Soon police officers will be armed with these ungodly "rape rays" and your tax dollars are footing the bill!
1439Haliburton has spent over a quarter billion dollars developing a medium-range crowd dispersal weapon that causes debilitating genital pain and floods victims with an overwhelming sense of shame. Soon police officers will be armed with these ungodly "rape rays" and your tax dollars are footing the bill!
1440In Britain, 'fanny' means vagina - I can cope with most differences between British and American terminology when watching this, but that's one that I just can't get used to!
1441chas still thinks l8r is an emoticon.
1442FUCK 'EM SUCK 'EM ROBOTS
1443It's not murder if you use a phoenix down afterwards. It is, however, still rape.
1444someone here guessed it, annies?
1445annie's sister thinks annies is the autistic one
1446The next 9/11 will be an inside job.
1447timecop keeps SWAP.AVI in the root of each of his boot drives.
1448Spuddy has the PENIS IN BUTT thing framed above his computer
1449WHATS HOT FOR 2011: 1) BEING FAKE 2)BEING A SLUT 3) LIEING 4)HAVING MORE THAN 4 BABYDADDYS 5)SNEEK DISSING 6) BEING A GOON 7)ACTING IGNORENT IN PUBLIC 8) BEING GAY 9) GETTIN FAKE DREADS 10) RAPING ABOUT DOPE WHAT THE FUCK IS THE WORLD COMING TO
1450when you freeze fruit by the foot it turns to nickelodeon gak
1451JLsoft only uses software that implements a "boss key" feature.
1452A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse blinks backs tears and says "I have aids".
1453"Wife Swap" is a 6th level spell for mages, in the invocation/evocation school.
1454shrimp are turing complete?
1455meth is a height booster
1456Consumption of uncooked Pop Tarts may cause diarrhea, nausea, stomach pain, and severe headache with high fever.
1457that?
1458JLsoft can go back in time
1459my brain is in a dish
1460Barrack Obama is using Kenyan Sorcery (AKA Negromancy) to bankrupt America's future, paving the way for a new Islamic\Socialist New World Order. Message me now to learn how you can protect yourself, your children and your country, with one of my powerful 14 karat gold Anti-Witchcraft Amulets! Just seven easy payments of $19.99, order now and get a free American Flag candle!
1461The original Quake soundtrack included a track entitled "it is raped".
1462timecop still tells people to 'uncook' files they download.
1463Adding "just kiddingt" does not cancel out sexual harassment.
1464Adding "just kidding" does not cancel out sexual harassment.
1465In post-WW2 Japan, sushi is eaten with a fork.
1466ChasBuddy is theming elements of sekritprojcraft after late 90's PSX games, and as a result the title screen will use The Crystal Method - Busy Child and the trailer video will use Name Of The Game
1467l0de's #1 nerdpetpeeve is when he double-clicks an .nfo on a fresh Windows install and it opens 'System Information'
1468timecop's favorite PC game of ALL TIME was 'Arcade Volleyball'
1469Once schmoe inserted a banana runt into his urethra. It didn't come out until after his 52nd birthday.
1470Backscatter technology is so named because the scanner radiation causes explosive loss of bowel control. Passengers wishing to "opt out" must submit to a TSA administered public enema.
1471charlie sheen was on four loko when he was caught in a hotel with an escort screaming 'nigger' at the top of his lungs
1472mel gibson had already injested 4 cans of FOUR loko when oksana called him
1473Disney Canada's most popular character is Mickey Moose.
1474your dick gets bigger when you turn into a werewolf (see: twilight)
1475Muslims actually worship "Allan".
1476Audacity has the ugliest icon ever created, thanks to open source diarrhea-design.
1477that the U in UFO stands for extraterrestrial?
1478Elderly terrorists are using colostomy bags to carry guns and explosives onto airplanes!
1479that average shit weighs in at 4.3 lbs?
1480joojoo shut down in november 2010
1481Wingsup is your typical northeastern Jew. He loves nothing better than to stick his long hooked nose into everyone else's business and use it to stir up trouble. He tries as hard as he can to raise the status of blacks and hispanics because he knows he can outwit them and bend them to his own interests. His #1 concern is the destruction of America, and ultimately, the White Race.
1482peccavi is in jail
1483that "your mama" can be pronounced as "fat hooker"?
1484that "affe" means ape in german?
1485that Heroin was originally prescribed for cough?
148688 is used by nazis to represent HH aka heil hitler?
1487that both the word Hitler and Hampster share the same first letter
1488The "No One Is Illegal" group was started by former Nazis who wished to retire in peace in the American mid-west.
1489"Affirmative Action" was Martin Luther King Jr.'s most realistic goal.
1490that minecraft was originally developed as an autism simulator in 1998 before being marketed to freenode users in early 2010?
1491that "Affirmative Action" is just a ploy to allow Black Panther operatives into the heart of our educational system?
1492Every time you correctly type in a captcha, Al Qaeda is one step closer to breaking the USA's nuclear launch codes.
1493The only video on Youtube timecop has ever watched all the way through was a posting of Tokyo Breakfast
1494Jews used the metal from Ground Zero to build temples in Israel.
1495Jews used the blood from 9/11 rescue workers to make matzoh balls
1496TheBunny about cocos3d ??
1497feer's favorite doughnut variety is 'buttermilk bar' :(
1498FLank99 was really predicting the Japan disaster.
1499Stradhie actually saves stuff to his My * folders
1500they're now making ice cream with antifreeze proteins derived from fish?
1501I can type \\<2 letter language code> and speak in it?
1502that libya is one of the five countries left that doesnt have a jew run central bank??
1503Every time you opt out of a TSA backscatter machine, you're killing a Reptiloid fetus by denying it a host
1504Every time you opt out of a TSA backscatter machine, you're killing a Reptiloid fetus by denying it a host
1505that Britain had to use food stamps for everybody well into the fifties?
1506timecop_ has a directory dedicated to his edits of Neil Young songs with the vocals replaced by cat sounds.
1507l0de's favorite foreign film is Y Tu Mama Tambien
1508that around 80-90% of the icelandic population uses facebook?
1509timecop_'s most wished-for Christmas gift was a Tomy Atomic Arcade Pinball
1510Japan issues a tsunami warning every timecop_ jerks off to animu.
1511The supposed prank-victims on the L0de Radio Hour were actually just L0de's improv classmates. It was only the listeners who were truly pranked.
1512that?
1513timecop spends 18 hours a day on http://www.tnhsmith.net/Other/Orbduino/index.htm
1514gearbox is a valve spinoff?
1515l0de had a good weekend
1516there's a nuclear power station near didcot parkway?
1517"bitcoin mining software" is actually just cracking the pgp keys of american freedomactivists.
1518The split-second you attempt a gesture on a touchscreen device that it doesn't support, you look like a retard.
1519me before i started college, or no
1520ipad batteries utilize a small nuclear reaction to be powered for years. you can turn your ipad into a nuclear bomb.
1521There is now talk of moving the Canucks to Regina because the fans in Vancouver are complete and utter morons. Shame on you fans. Hockey is just legalized street fighting.
1522quebec is one of the only primarily french speaking areas of france
1523If you go into a store carrying caucasian genes discounts are of no interest to you as you can simply puchase whatever you like owing to your ample bank account?
1524JLsoft's stalking of Ulillillia started when he first found out that 'The Wiz' was both of their favorite movies.
1525The only thing Stradhie has ever cried at was a youtube video of 'fainting goat' kittens.
1526l0de is recording every stream of EVO 2011 available
1527Using CMYK makes you a gay
1528The popular WASD control configuration for FPS games isn't just the name of the keys! John Romero coined the acronym, which stands for: "We all suck dick"
1529that in wolfenstein, they were really saying "ach! nine 'leven"
1530it has word autocomplete if you hit escape? mind = blown.
1531Sharepoint has a doctor built in?
1532you were going to get a C problem?
1533tupac had autism
1534you can drag from UI to code whooper ?
1535that the window object in UIWindowDidBecomeVisibleNotification doesn't have its window level set to UIWindowLevelAlert?
1536"Black Friday" is named for the day after Thanksgiving on which newly freed slaves in the United States collectively pillaged local businesses, usually murdering the owners and burning the establishments to the ground.
1537Richard Stallman is "patient zero" for every disease that has been transmitted from livestock to humans for the last 15 years
1538Richard Stallman has contributed to a rebirth in Foot-In-Mouth disease in cattle due to his habit of eating his foot skin at conferences, then immediately going out to milk cattle, due to the cow being considered a free-as-in-beer resource
1539SOPA is a completely harmless enviornmental bill. The internet is only outraged because of the provision that each web user must take a bath sometime in 2012.
1540that the physical universe is a computer program outputting music to consciousness?
1541Every new Windows install demie performs still has an AllAdvantage auto-clicker running on boot.
1542that 24GB is only $150
1543the high-end logitech wheels have no mac drivers?
1544Unlike Ron Paul, "Doctor" Paul Krugman has never been licensed to practice medicine.
1545Chas`XMAS now gets emails about ripping off Minicraft.
1546that if you set a tableview's separator style to singel line it removes the 3dness of grouped style?
1547they had game companies in Africa?
1548Demogorgo is secretly into the Gorean scene
1549like
1550Apple is a part of the world homosexual conspiracy. They have a "top" app chart. App programmers vie for the "top" spot. Top in homo lingo is the one who performs the penetration in anal sex. Steve Jobs died of injuries caused during a gay orgy "top" charting contest. Vote Newt 2012
1551when deadeye's boss is horny, he types "i'm horny" into google and clicks "i'm feeling lucky"
1552google can determine your sexual orientation with its new user profiling.
1553distributing usb drivers with a visual studio installer is a bitch?
1554chas was the guy who danced on the wire during the halftime show
1555Ever since his international tour visited Mecca, the Muslim world has been enchanted with Michael Jackson. Every Sunday at midday, Sunni Muslims celebrate MJ noon. As they are called to prayer, every man of age grips the penis of a prepubescent male and points it in the direction of Neverland. Then they do the Thriller dance.
1556The correct pronunciation of Islam's holy book is "Korang".
1557Saleh Al-shaitan, the creator of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, was a born-again Christian. Having grown up in a typically abusive Muslim household, he expressed his resentment for his former faith by naming the nemesis of the amphibious heroes "Korang". The network later shortened it to "Krang" after an outcry from the Filipino community -- "Korang" is the Pinoy term for a whore's vagina.
1558The 'T' in t bonds stands for Transexual
1559All mental disorders are simply varying degrees of not getting enough sexual intercourse. 'Nymphomania' is not a real disorder, it is an imaginary concept created by the pathologically jealous.
1560Most cases of spontaneous combustion take place during 'heated' masturbation sessions?
1561it was interactive?
1562As a business major, all you need to know is: MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY 9,3MONEY 3,9MONEY 9,3MONEY 3,9MONEY 9,3MONEY 3,9MONEY 9,3MONEY 3,9MONEY 9,3MONEY 3,9MONEY 9,3MONEY 3,9MONEY 9,3MONEY 3,9MONEY 9,3MONEY 3,9MONEY 9,3MONEY 3,9MONEY
1563jlsoft has a tattoo of the realtek audio crab on his neck
1564I've never bowled.
1565Wolfenstein 3d was banned for a while in germany
1566ron paul doesn't have a prostate gland
1567it has words? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korobeiniki
1568this library Nighthawk?
1569Kim Jong-un can do over one million APM in Starcraft. He is the best Starcraft player the world will ever know.
1570the guy who was killed?
1571a 1/4 pounder is called hamburger royale in france? :P
1572that -[UIView layoutSubviews] in iOS 4 is directly called by -[CALayer layoutSublayers] ?
1573my thesis was about surrealism
1574if u body moving, u a mover
1575every alphanumeric key on spathi-wa's keyboard is replaced with a backspace
1576tibetan monks did the gas bucket challenge
1577Joan Rivers is actually the performer's stage name. Her real name "Blowin' Niggers" was given to her by the ringmaster of the Gypsy Vaudeville show that stole her as a baby.