SZ5TBKUx

1OREGAIRU Volume 13
2
3
4
5
6Interlude 1
7
8
9
10Again and again.
11
12I look back again and again.
13
14The distance widens and time passes.
15
16I go far to the point I can’t go back.
17
18So that I can finally look back and remind myself of what was right.
19
20Even while knowing this is a mistake, I persuade myself that this is the one and only answer.
21
22Again and again.
23
24I look back again and again.
25
26At the first light of day.
27
28At the trickling rain and dew of the early afternoon.
29
30At the light snowfall dancing as they scatter in the twilight.
31
32At the hazy moon shaking in the midnight.
33
34There was always a place and opportunity to answer, and that time, it looked as if I would be guided towards the optimal solution.
35
36However, it never looked as if the correct answer would be said.
37
38Probably, maybe, surely.
39
40I’d thought this was probably for the best.
41
42I’d made an ambiguously grey decision that neither got it right nor far.
43
44Maintaining a reasonable distance, not hurting anyone, neither right or wrong, fact or fiction, and unclear.
45
46It wasn’t that I couldn’t say what I wanted to, I just didn’t know what I wanted to say even was.
47
48What right did someone like that have to say.
49
50That’s why, at the very least.
51
52I just want to be correct this time.
53
54I don’t want to forgive my errors or mistakes.
55
56Because I can’t afford to be wrong anymore.
57
58
59
60
61
62
63Chapter 1: Deeply, Hiratsuka Shizuka Reminisces the Past
64
65
66
67Countless, countless times have I turned back my head.
68
69Yet every step moves out without stopping.
70
71Let my heartbeat accelerate , let my breathing fall out of place, and refused to wipe off the accumulating sweat.
72
73If I don't do this, every small detail might just become my excuse to stop. Yet this doesn't stop me from looking back again and again, how disgusting.
74
75That image of a single drop of tear right before we parted refuses to leave my head.
76
77The remaining traces of rainwater on the road, looks identical to the trace on her cheeks. The puddles of water my running feet tries to avoid, the unnatural disrupted footwork, every step screams, urging me to turn back.
78
79But what can going back do for me, what should I say to do anything about the situation.
80
81No, there is a solution lying somewhere in my heart. Yet my legs refuses to decide on any option, repeating its mechanical yet unnatural movement.
82
83Even if a standard option exists, that isn't mine, that can't be our answer.
84
85The sun slowly falls into the horizon, turning itself crimson red.
86
87The shadows of houses elongate, to the point they seem so close to blending in with the darkness from the faraway twilight. Refusing to be swallowed by this darkness, I continued to run forward.
88
89Every step felt solid, yet thoughts are floating with no direction.
90
91Thinking about what that drop of tears meant, my thoughts fall deep, to the point of witnessing every reason possible, however no conclusion could be made out of them, and all clues were found only to be left behind.
92
93Just like everything that happened, just like how everything has been done.
94
95The path leads straight towards the sea.
96
97The chilling seabreeze slips into the gaps of my coat and muffler, stabs my burning face, reminding it of stiffness.
98
99The cold continues to linger, yet sweat continues to drop. Removing the scarf wrapped up on my neck, only makes me feel that a part of my body is being binded.
100
101Whatever that was stuck within my chest gets exhaled out as I struggle to regain my breath.
102
103Despite my anxiousness, as if something is grabbing onto my hair, my footsteps start to slow down.
104
105Being lucky enough to run into a red light, I take a deep breath as my hands rest on my ankles.
106
107Running to escape something, being followed up at the moment I stopped.
108
109The meaning behind that tear, the weight within those words, they are all questioning, they are all criticizing.
110
111Reassuring me that I was wrong.
112
113In front of my glaring eyes, stands an old traffic light that refuses to be replaced with.
114
115Its blackened blood that screams of illness suddenly disappeared.
116
117Time to start running again.
118
119Releasing a sigh that sounded so similar to a shriek, I straighten up my body and started stepping.
120
121Towards that deep, dark green light that signals us to move forward.
122
123
124
125
126
1271-2
128
129
130
131As I reached school and entered the campus.
132
133My thoughts started to calm down.
134
135To the point where those sad yet gentle words are echoing clearer than before.
136
137From the moment I picked up the phone call till now, have been thinking, have been running around in circles.
138
139Words that have been said, words that could have been said.
140
141What should've been shaped solid, seemed as ambiguous as it had always been. What I have sealed up without a second thought, refusing to take a closer look at it.
142
143If that is the case, what weight does my words even hold? Probably, the only reason Hiratsuka sensei purposely made me speak out, is because this is the last time I have a chance to do so.
144
145Sensing that the time of parting is approaching, I looked up at the twilight that filled up the entire sky.
146
147Reaching to the doorstep of the staff room, my hand that was about to knock on the door, suddenly held back.
148
149Teasing at the fear I'm feeling right now, I let out a sigh.
150
151But I can't stand here forever.
152
153Because she won't either.
154
155Hiratsuka sensei will one day leave us.
156
157I never knew that, thus I never tried to prove anything, to show her any results.
158
159But the one thing I can do, is to not show her this embarrassing side of me, this is the one thing I should do.
160
161After another sigh, I knocked twice on the door before entering the staff room.
162
163My eyes swayed naturally towards that one position I have always looked at.
164
165On that place, sat Hiratsuka sensei.
166
167She seems to be working on documentations.
168
169That familiar figure works relentlessly facing her desk, her long hair that sways from time to time, the slight rotation on her shoulders seemed like her trying to relax them.
170
171The backview of her working seriously felt refreshing, and staring at it doesn't feel boring, I didn't feel like bothering her by this moment, thus I didn't called out to her immediately.
172
173Actually, there are some lies, a lot of lies within this thought of mine.
174
175I refuse to witness the end of this never ending daily life, which is why I didn't call out to her.
176
177Losing someone also means that the scenery, the moments that I've always took for granted will leave me too, something that took me so long to realize.
178
179Hoping to take a closer look, I carefully moved towards her, trying not to make a single sound, while trying to recall how I've always started our conversation,
180
181But she spoke right before me:
182
183"Sorry, give me a few more minutes."
184
185As if she already knew of my presence without making sure, Hiratsuka sensei pointed at the deeper parts of the staff room, the spot where we always had our conversations.
186
187Her tone sounded like how its always been, so I replied briefly:
188
189"Alright."
190
191"Umu."
192
193With her head still facing the desk, she put a halt to our small talk.
194
195As I moved towards the discussion room, the lingering smell of cigarette smoke reminds me that, the first time I came here for the keys of the clubroom, I also had a talk with Hiratsuka sensei here. I recalled her weird expression she gave when she asked me to stay for another while, perhaps she felt lonely during that time.
196
197That time I didn't knew that she was going to be shifted away.
198
199I've been living a life where I've never been close with any teachers.
200
201So this is probably the first time, that I have to witness a teacher I truly appreciate is about to leave right in front of me.
202
203Sitting in the conversation room doesn't feel assuring, not being to see what Hiratsuka sensei is doing. The curtains that divide this room from the others give off a sense of dead silence, chipping my patient away bit by bit.
204
205The brief noises made by the janitor and the ringing of phones reminds me the flow of time. The skies outside are turning dark too.
206
207
208After staring outside the window for some time, I heard a knocking sound on the wall, as I looked around, Hiratsuka sensei is already standing in the room.
209
210"Sorry for keeping you waiting."
211
212"Ah, its fine....."
213
214Her smile seemed so weak that its giving off a sense of loneliness, making me unable to joke or grunt about all the waiting.
215
216Her presence acted like a block of solid air that fills up the discussion area, the rumbling noise from the staff room feels nonexistent all of a sudden, as if she created an isolated space for us alone.
217
218Only the sounds of leather could be heard as she sat on the sofa in front of me.
219
220"So, where do we start from..."
221
222Hiratsuka didn't continue speaking, instead she placed a can of that familiar, sugar saturated coffee on the table, and pushed it gently towards me.
223
224I don't feel thirsty, so I shook my head. She handed over the black coffee on her other hand.
225
226Guess I don't have a choice, so I chosen the coffee I'm familiar with.
227
228Holding the coffee in my hands, I silently waited for Hiratsuka to say something.
229
230But I'm instead replied with the regular tempo of knocking sounds.
231
232Hiratsuka took out a cigarette, hitting its tip on the table, I recall that this was done to sort out the tobacco in it, but now it seemed like she was trying to sort out something else.
233
234She then lit up the cigarette. The laminar flow of smoke starts to waver in turbulence as it goes up, the surroundings are filled with the fragrance of tar.
235
236I don't live in an environment with a lot of smokers. So I guess this fragrance will eventually vanish. And someday when I smelled tar, I'll remember of her, until someday where she completely fades from my memories.
237
238To conceal this sudden thought that I have, I started to talk:
239
240"For now, lets talk about the prom......."
241
242I ran all the way back here to know more about this , yet I made myself sound like I have something else to say.
243
244Hiratsuka sensei seemed to realize this, but still nodded her head in agreement.
245
246"Sure......"
247
248She applied more force onto the still long cigarette until it was put off, made a short sigh and continued:
249
250
251
252"From what I'm seeing right now, the school is currently reviewing towards the direction of cancelling the graduation prom."
253
254"Reviewing, huh."
255
256"Yes, they haven't come to a final decision, but its expected that the school won't change its attitude towards the matter, which is why they'll most probably request its organizers to perform self restraint."
257
258As Hiratsuka's narrates this inevitable truth with her calm and composed tone, I intercepted:
259
260"I'm assuming that 'self restraint' was simply a statement, but what it really meant is to cancel the event?"
261
262"Both the school and also the board are taking on a subtle position. It was the school that approved the prom in the first place, so they can't just call it off. Which is why they compromised by giving the order of self restraint."
263
264"But didn't we..."
265
266Hiratsuka sensei is giving off a bitter expression. Which reminds me that she most probably already discussed with Yukinoshita and the others over this matter. Revolving around the same issue won't get us anywhere, so I decided to ask something different.
267
268"But your opinion is different from what the school thinks, isn't it?"
269
270"Yes, I believe that we can achieve a common ground through further discussions with the related parties, but..."
271
272Hiratsuka didn't continue, but I'm able to guess what's the determining factor to the current situation.
273
274The promotional video of the graduation prom that sparked uncertainties within the hearts of the parents, Yukinoshita's mother, who represented the parental board a few days ago, and their concerns that stemmed from the various issues of graduation proms in foreign countries.
275
276These factors combined, are enough for the school to decide on cancelling the prom.
277
278"...Well, from the fact that came all the way here just to express their opinions, its not really surprising that things are how it is right now."
279
280"Indeed. The situation has grew beyond my level of responsibility and authority, and my opinions can only be treated as the school's reference. Sigh, the sadness of being a lowly civil servant."
281
282Just as what she said. Not just the teachers, even graduating students like me and everyone else in the lower hierarchy of the system. None of our opinions will be taken seriously by the school authorities.
283
284Forcefully achieve an equilibrium between each parties involved, have the weaker side put down their weapons, and expecting things to conclude without creating a huge storm.
285
286'Self restrain' is indeed an appropriate term to use.
287
288"Having a job is the worst, after all."
289
290"Not if you're working at the top, you have the freedom to do anything you want."
291
292We joked over the matter with a dead smile. But these jokes aren't wrong either. In the end of the day, we're just puppets being played by the will of those with authority.
293
294On this matter, Yukinoshita's mother is one holds the authority, a shadow ruler who has the school within her clutches.
295
296For such a figure to purposely come over, and requesting for a discussion with the school's administration.
297
298How trivial the topic is doesn't matter, just by seeing Mrs Yukinoshita to show such concern, is enough to make everyone to treat the matter in a superficial way.
299
300Her true intentions is irrelevant, as what the others observed is merely the nature of the act.
301
302Even if Mrs Yukinoshita only came here 'to discuss','to inquire', for a person with such a status to be here, is enough for others to feel pressured, enough to create an atmosphere for people to have wonders.
303
304For example when two important figures having pleasant tea break together, outsiders will feel suspicious towards the context of their chat within the private room, ending up with the formation of such an atmosphere, where people will try to please the said important figures as much as possible.
305
306This occurs in our daily lives to, the cliched "please try to read the atmosphere oh god" dialogue is one of its products, where they speculate over unclear, ambiguous info, and treating such an act as a virtue.
307
308Its an unenlightened method of adjusting things, yet it tends to create peace. Within schools, neighborhoods, workplaces, and even within social groups to an extent, being able to adhere to these unspoken rules is a necessary communication skill.
309
310But then again isn't reading the atmosphere too much of a forceful demand? Expecting the man to always be the one to take the initiative to ask for one's contact method or to invite someone out, and this magical rule where the third date will be sufficient to create an atmosphere suitable for confessing. What is this down triangle spam lookalike ? It just counters Zangief so much, its kinda unfair? Even if its not used against Zangief its still goddamn strong!
311
312The same communication skill applies even on most friend circles, when one of them started saying stuff like: "Isn't that person acting a little strange lately?" "He wasn't such a dick before." , then everyone suddenly thinks so hard like they're Habu Yoshiharu playing mind games in his shogi match. And boom, the center of discussion suddenly got isolated without even realizing it.
313
314In such an unfair shogi battle matchup, if you can't figure a way to get a 14 hand to escape, even Hokkaido chicken fritters will end up becoming roasted chicken.
315
316Since every group have a set of their own rules, one has to carefully observe these signals, go along the flow, and get used to these rules. Or you'll end up like me, one who failed to adjust to these rules, kindergarden primary school secondary school high school cram school workplace, getting isolated in all these places. Ah, I'm truly the Eternal Seven Loner , oh hey I'll most probably get an eight consecutive champion in college too, yay!
317
318Life is truly a big game of shogi.
319
320(Ref 5: "Eternal Seven Loner" in Japanese is a pun that sounds similar to Habu Yoshiharu)
321
322Thanks to being constantly judged over my ability to read the atmosphere, even if I can't read it, I'm still aware of its importance.
323
324Which is why I can't say much about the school's judgement. One can label such an act with 'bureaucratic collusion', but if I'm put in the same position as the school's authorities, I'll probably make the exact same decision. It's just too much of a pain to fight against the atmosphere.
325
326"So that's how it is huh......"
327
328I said this with a convinced yet dejected voice, as I unconsciously looked towards the ceiling above. Is it because I'm showing a defeated face? Hiratsuka sensei pushed the can of coffee that I had yet to take a single sip closer to me, I nodded gently to express my gratitude.
329
330I started reorganizing my thoughts while pulling the can opener.
331
332For now, it seems impossible to overturn the school's decision.
333
334A problem wouldn't exist as long as we don't view it as one. But when the existence of a problem is established, its also a wiser choice to not try smashing a rock using an egg if we're trying to solve the problem efficiently.
335
336Its clear that, the prom is currently facing a life or death situation.
337
338For the time being, only the student council, a small group of parents, and the school is aware of the self restrain order. If the news starts to spread among the students and the rest of the parents, the opposition will gain more momentum as more individuals join in the mob.
339
340Staying out of this will only make the situation harder, but there are no effective methods to solve it either.
341
342"Isn't this already a checkmate..."
343
344I followed up this statement with a weak laugh.
345
346At this moment, my eyes fell in line with Hiratsuka sensei's. Her eyes are giving off a slightly warm sensation, as if she has been silently waiting for my reaction, benching her elbows onto her knees, uncrossing her fingers: "As expected, you still want to make the prom a reality." she said in a speed slower than usual.
347
348Remembering of her question during the phone call, suddenly I'm at a loss of words.
349
350Hiratsuka sensei's tone sounded really soft, with no intention to reprimand me at all. However I still can't bring up a proper answer, as I still had second thoughts on whether it is right to be further involved with the graduation prom. That reckless remark I made during the phone call made me felt a little ashamed too. But what has been said has been said, and it pointless to try and deny that.
351
352Thus, I nodded my head once as if its simply responding to gravity, it probably looked more like I'm feeling down.
353
354"I don't know if this is correct......"
355
356Words without a proper direction wriggled out of my indecisive mouth. That one term that flashed through my mind made it sounded even weaker.
357
358'Codependency'.
359
360Yukinoshita Haruno's definition towards our relationship, felt completely true, and I can't find any solid proof to defend against that statement.
361
362My voice slowly fades out, and my eyesight slowly moves down.
363
364As I blankly stared at the aged cracks on the floor, Hiratsuka switched up the position of her crossing legs.
365
366"Well yes, Yukinoshita doesn't want you to interfere after all."
367
368As I looked up at Hiratsuka sensei, her eyes are filled with complete seriousness.
369
370I recalled that moment where Yukinoshita told me not to get further involved. Hiratsuka sensei was there too when she is doing that monologue. Which is why Hiratsuka is telling me this. Now that I think of it, Yukinoshita also didn't want me to know that the prom was going to be cancelled. I have an idea of what she's thinking, but perhaps Hiratsuka sensei knows more on the reason that Yukinoshita is hiding it from me.
371
372Being unsure of whether I'm able to be involved without getting noticed, I reacted towards the question with a light smile.
373
374The tight sensation on my rarely used facial muscles tells me that, I'm probably making a really bitter smile.
375
376To be honest, there's no doubt that things will only get more and more troublesome, just imagining all the directionless talk I'll have with her is making me feel depressed, and what ever conclusion that awaits us won't be anything good either. Even so, what has been decided has been decided, that I can't leave this situation alone. Thus I continued to smile.
377
378Looking at this fake smile I'm holding up, Hiratsuka's eyes slowly became gentle, a slight curve showed up on her lips.
379
380"......Its your move, then."
381
382"Well yeah, its not my first day not being expected of anything."
383
384Like I've always had, making unnecessary actions, the bad habit that I can't seem to get rid of immediately.
385
386Hearing that, Hiratsuka sensei blinked a few times as if she's in shock, and then started to laugh uncontrollably while covering her mouth.
387
388She's laughing a little too delightfully, that I had to raise my eyebrows as a protest, Hiratsuka then made a soft cough to hold in her smile.
389
390"Ahaha, sorry...I just felt very happy, you know."
391
392She expression then turned slightly worried.
393
394"But Yukinoshita is trying really hard to change something. I'm personally rooting for her so...I can't say that helping her without proper thought is a good idea. As it might turn up to be an obstruction to her growth. Especially when there's too much to think of like where we're at now."
395
396Her eyesight slowly turns towards me, her expression where she's struggling to tell me something speaks for her concern towards Yukinoshita.
397
398Hachiman: "You know, whatever codependency is......doesn't it sound like an overstatement? More accurately, it feels like a misunderstanding more than anything."
399
400"Well, yes...while I don't believe that its codependency, but what's more important is what viewpoint you decide to take. If your feelings are biased towards it, then no words will clear that up for you."
401
402"......Yes."
403
404I have experienced such stubbornness, more accurately, I once clinged on to such stubbornness.
405
406No matter how I console myself, its still not easy to give up this life that is as entangled and blurred like a cotton candy, thousands of carefully fabricated words aren't enough to cover up this monster of self conscious within me. Which is why now, that monster of self consciousness still lurks within me, staring from behind.
407
408This made me realize that, one can't simply brush off how they view themselves. I believe that its that same for Yukinoshita. Codependency, no matter if it is the truth or not, at least Yukinoshita has bounded herself to believe in such an idea. No matter how hard we try to deny it, she probably won't believe in us.
409
410"Haruno isn't completely wrong either. For Yukinoshita, this is an important trial that she has to overcome."
411
412"A trial huh..."
413
414I repeated this term that I rarely hear of, which Hiratsuka nodded in confirmation.
415
416"Well, you can say that this is a ceremony too."
417
418She then lit up another cigarette. Took a deeper breath from it, and exhaled out a slow thread of smoke.
419
420"Do you find it ridiculous?"
421
422"No, not really......" I replied while shaking my head: "this situation does seems to happen sometimes."
423
424"Well yes, things like this happens all the time. From getting the results for your music or manga entry, to competing in a sports event, participating the auditions of a singing contest, taking an exam or starting your career, even getting......that before your thirties is no different. There will always be that one period where you'll have to face yourself honestly."
425
426Her view that lands somewhere far outside the window, and her bittersweet tone made it sound like that she is reminiscing her own past.
427
428"Has this ever occurred to...you before?"
429
430"Yes, of course."
431
432She answered me with a gentle smile, Hiratsuka sensei took another sip of the cigarette. As she released a short puff of smoke, her iris dilated as if some of the smoke has diffused deep into her lungs.
433
434"There were a lot of things that I wanted to do in the past. There are also a lot of things that I can't do, and things I didn't wanted to do. A series of making choices, attempting, failing, giving up, and making a new choice, a cycle of events that never stops...even till now."
435
436Her words swayed lonely in the air along the swaying smoke.
437
438I have no idea what kind of past has she experienced to speak of such things, but they're a proof that the Hiratsuka sensei, this refined woman sitting in front of me, is a product of the numerous attempts and challenges she has faced.
439
440We have always sought for definitive proof that we can survive by ourselves, by gaining confidence, by building results. There won't be anyone who is willing to guarantee that for us, even if there's a guarantee, it will only be meaningless if we refuse to believe in these guarantees. Which is why we have such desires to prove ourselves.
441
442'Is it really correct to interfere with Yukinoshita's decision and resolve.' I recalled this question that Yukinoshita Haruno asked me not long ago.
443
444To choose, to challenge, to win or lose, these are something that she alone has to face. Will she allow anyone else to be involved in it? What identity and relationship I must have with her to be able to intervene? I have yet to find any answers.
445
446Hiratsuka tapped on the cigarette a few times to clean off the tobacco ash, and stared at me behind a veil of white smoke.
447
448"Let me ask you this one more time, how do you plan to talk to her, really?"
449
450She asked about a major issue that I'm hesitating with.
451
452She is certainly looking for my confirmation for one last time.
453
454I started to think carefully about what to say next, as I can't continue to make any more lies at this moment.
455
456"......I don't think that there is an option to not communicate with her."
457
458My answer during the phone call has not changed.
459
460And I won't repeat it for a second time, my thoughts and determination are not frivolous.
461
462There's no need for consideration either, I have already made a choice, and the conclusion has always been there.
463
464Yukinoshita's will has nothing to do with how I should act.
465
466As it has always been, I do not know any other methods available, the option I can take has only been that one single option. Attempting any other approach has never gone well for me. The more I try to avoid making mistakes the further I stray away from the right path.
467
468Which is why, I'll use the only method that I have.
469
470In reply to Hiratsuka's serious, intimidating glance, I looked back at her with my dead, rotten eyes, refusing to avert my line of view.
471
472Hiratsuka sensei then made a satisfied smile.
473
474"I see."
475
476She gently smiled with her eyes closed. The way she nodded in approval made me unsure of how to react.
477
478As I felt the pressure slowly turning into a gentle sensation, I ended up loosening my mind to the point of saying unnnecessary things:
479
480"Wait, 'I see'? That's it? "
481
482"Yes, that shall suffice. I have faith in you Hikigaya."
483
484Said Hiratsuka sensei without any hesitation.
485
486"Uhm, thanks."
487
488To hear her say this in such a direct way that felt like she's stating a simple fact, I can't even find myself to feel shy about it. I thanked her in a low voice as I nodded down in order to hide my heating cheeks.
489
490But it seems that I didn't hide it properly, as I heard her giggling.
491
492"Listen up Hikigaya, just helping out the prom won't be enough to help her. You'll have to take proper measures in what methods you use. You already knew this, didn't you."
493
494I nodded.
495
496She definitely won't accept my offer to help if I don't think of the appropriate words to use.
497
498Just making the prom happen won't be enough either. To present Yukinoshita's ability as an individual, to help her become independent is something that needs to be worked on too.
499
500Like the old saying of how teaching someone to fish is better than giving them fish. Its better for Yukinoshita to save herself, but I have yet to find a way to achieve all of these objectives.
501
502It took me a while to realize that I've been scratching my head the whole time.
503
504"Its definitely harder than it seemed to be......"
505
506"Yes, its hard alright......especially for your kind of situation."
507
508Hiratsuka took another mouthful of cigarette smoke, and blew out streams of smoke from both edges of her mouth.
509
510"I know right, our relationship only started because one of us needed help from others. And now our wills seem to be clashing with their polar opposites."
511
512I then crossed my fingers to form an X shape.
513
514Hiratsuka shrugged speechlessly and asked: "Really now. How do you think you guys managed to pull it through before this?"
515
516"How did we made it through, huh....."
517
518I actually had no idea, all I can remember is me doing things that hardly mattered in the end.
519
520Looking at my confused expression, Hiratsuka sensei clutched her fists, walked towards me and started doing air punches. P...please don't do that, she's gonna punch me really hard and then treat me very nicely, make me fall for her from the treatment contrast, the perfect script to create a masochist, oh god......
521
522She made a victorious smile upon seeing my frightened face.
523
524"When the ideals of two heroes of justice start to clash, neither of them will surrender without a fight."
525
526Her dialogue made me feel nostalgic, even if I have forgotten when was the first time I heard of it.
527
528"Oh......this brings back memories."
529
530"I know right?"
531
532Hiratsuka sensei replied in a joking tone.
533
534But her smile only lasted for an instant.
535
536The sides of her mouth are still curving up, but her lonesome eyes started looking into the realm of nothingness.
537
538"This really...brings back a lot of memories..."
539
540This dialogue that seemed to come out without her realizing it, is not meant for me, but her speaking to herself.
541
542While I let Hiratsuka to have her own moment, I turned my neck left and right to relax my head a bit. Even if we both felt nostalgic, her current feelings are contextually different from mine, so I kept quiet.
543
544The silence however didn't last long, as Hiratsuka sensei continued speaking:
545
546"Its not the first day you two have different opinions isn't it? But you all managed to overcome such situations, to have faith in what you have gained from those past experiences, is my suggestion to you."
547
548"Yeah...I'll try." I replied her with a gentle smile.
549
550She does not wish to be assisted, but I can't avoid communicating with her either. Which is why a new way of communication has to be sought. Reviewing my past experiences gave me a vague yet solid answer.
551
552Seeing me nodding in enlightenment, Hiratsuka smiled in satisfaction:
553
554"Now that you came up with a clearer guideline, I think its time to go meet up with her, Yukinoshita should still be in the student council room right now, go."
555
556"Yes, I'll be leaving th...wait, one last thing I wanted to ask you."
557
558As I was about to stand up, I remembered of something that I was curious of since the beginning of the conversation.
559
560"Hmm?"
561
562Hiratsuka sensei tilted her head, and made a childish smile that hardly fits her current age. My expression I'm having right now seemed more sinister in comparison:
563
564"So in the end of the day, the prom's organizers only need to perform self restraint , isn't it?"
565
566"...I was asked with the same question not long ago."
567
568The way Hiratsuka said it tells me that, Yukinoshita and the others have no intent to give up on the graduation prom. In fact , they already came up with this conclusion right before me.
569
570Hiratsuka sensei closed her eyes, and then let up a deep sigh as if she gave up struggling. Took another mouthful of smoke, and then released them as she looked towards a distant place within the scenery outside.
571
572I know that her actions indicate that she has acquiesced with our ideas. While I felt grateful to Hiratsuka sensei, it also left me worried about the consequences.
573
574"But if we continued doing this, wouldn't it put you in a very risky situation?"
575
576If unwanted events occurred during the process, she'll have to take full responsibility for our mess. I'm not sure what kind of punishment the school authorities will impose onto her, but she'll definitely end up being judged by both concerned and unconcerned parties. Lynches that goes with the name of social justice are pretty common after all.
577
578But Hiratsuka sensei simply shrugged, and said with a playful tone:
579
580"By the time anything happens I won't be around anyways, I don't care about what happens after I'm gone."
581
582"Ahaha, said it like a typical modern youngster."
583
584"Of course, I am a modern youngster after all."
585
586In protest to my comment. She tapped on the table for a times as she adjusted her tone to sound like a youngster. Her joke made me start to laugh out of control.
587
588"Even if things did came down to the worst, I'm only gonna lose my job. Its no big deal, just do whatever you want."
589
590Hiratsuka continued to joke around, tapping her throat with a handknife.
591
592"Eh......nah I can't just do that...."
593
594Don't just bet your career over it. This pressures me so hard, that my lifespan is shortening like mad girl.
595
596"Don't mind me, its just a joke. My wits are stronger than you thing, if I really lost my job, I'm just gonna get married, if I find one who's willing to, that is."
597
598Her fingers slides across her hair, as she starts to laughs ironically.
599
600I can't get myself to laugh over this matter, yet I ended up laughing softly and said:
601
602"You'll be fine."
603
604"What, you plan to marry me someday?"
605
606Hiratsuka reacted almost instantaneously with a shocked face. Wait what no? She's too precious for me to own! So someone please, before I change my mind, please marry her now!
607
608As I was thinking on how to reply her, she stared at me with her big round eyes like an abandoned labrador. Ah, large canines are just so cute......but wait, I already have a cat in my house. So I shook my head in embarassment.
609
610"Actually I don't have plans to deal with the situation with chaotic methods......I think."
611
612I said it without sounding too confident.
613
614We're in a really unfavorable situation. Trying to achieve a mutual agreement with Yukinoshita is going to be a challenge too.
615
616But even if I'm aware that we haven't obtained the win condition, I still have to sound optimistic, or else Doraemon can't go back to the future in peace...
617
618I tried to smile as much as possible to cover up my facade. And so, Hiratsuka stared at me silently.
619
620"......So reliable."
621
622Like a person watching a car leaving into the distance, she closed her eyes slowly, and said it in a gentle voice.
623
624Hearing that made me blush for a moment, without realizing it, I tured my head away while touching my hair.
625
626I made big words that hardly suits someone of my identity.
627
628Being aware that I should also make sure that my methods won't cause Hiratsuka sensei to be affected to its consequences, the difficulty of the situation seemed to has increase a little more than the hard mode it already is.
629
630Even so, this made me sense a glimpse of light within the situation.
631
632If the process is handled properly, there won't be any situation where Hiratsuka sensei will have to take responsibility for us. Well yeah, probably, it better be.
633
634Sigh, but then again I should really prepare myself to explain to my parents, on why would I marry a woman who's about ten years older than me.
635
636Anyway, now that my course of action has been decided. Since there's nothing more for us to speak of. The both of us remained silent.
637
638Within the few seconds of silence, I swallowed down the rest of the sweet coffee, and stood up getting ready to leave. Picked up my school bag and coat that was put aside, leaving everything else in the room.
639
640"I'm going."
641
642"Umu."
643
644I made a short goodbye, which she replied with a nod.
645
646Our chat has now come to an end, on the timing that I think is most appropriate.
647
648But just as I was about to walk out of the room, I heard her voice coming from behind:
649
650"Hikigaya."
651
652I did not look back, but I don't plan on ignoring her call either, so I halted.
653
654"I'm sorry......that I can't bring myself to say it."
655
656I'm unable to see Hiratsuka sensei's expression at this moment, yet its not hard to imagine the way she's looking onto the floor sadly, because its the same expression I'm having right now.
657
658As I tried to say something, the bitterness of the coffee that should've been completely swallowed rose back up, and my throat is blocked by the strong scent of condensed milk.
659
660I reacted by forcing the coffee back into my stomach, along with the words that I wanted to say.
661
662"Cough....no, you don't have to apologize."
663
664Turned my head over my shoulders, and with the properly prepared smiling face, I continued saying:
665
666"There's nothing that we can do about, that's just how jobs work. I understand that your position doesn't allow you to talk about it. And its not like your transfer has been decided yet right?"
667
668I tried to say it in the most fluent and natural way possible. But Hikagaya Hachiman was never a bright cheerful person to begin with, which made it sound blank and insincere instead.
669
670Hiratsuka sensei acted as if she isn't bothered by it, and continued to say while looking down.
671
672"Well yeah, the official dismissal letter haven't been given yet."
673
674To not speak about things that haven't been officially announced. This is a rule that comes along with the job position.
675
676But deep down, we're both aware that this is merely an excuse. Yet this is an actual existing rule that must not be broken.
677
678Which is why we decided to accept and compromise. No malicious or virtuous will exists behind her decision, she is simply complying with the rules. Because we're aware of such a rule, there is nothing that we can do about it, except for accepting it with a smile.
679
680"But its gonna be really embarrassing if I don't have to leave in the end. Ahahaha...."
681
682Said Hiratsuka sensei as she followed with a laugh while stroking her hair.
683
684"Isn't that so? Hahaha..."
685
686I laughed too, and I started to feel a little more relaxed.
687
688But that couldn't make the emptiness to leave me.
689
690I am well aware of it.
691
692Making jokes won't change anything, in fact the act of joking itself will eventually turn stale, and verbal conversation can only serve to disguise ourselves.
693
694But all things will come to an end eventually.
695
696Our conversation has came to an end too.
697
698"I'm going, then."
699
700"Yes, do your best."
701
702I took a slight bow, as I walked out of the room, the flickering sounds of a flame being lit up could be heard from behind.
703
704Along with a short sigh.
705
706Hiratsuka sensei will be working in the staff room for another while, I guess.
707
708I then closed the door to the staff room.
709
710
711
712
713
714Chapter 2: Insistingly, Isshiki Iroha Has Something to Confirm
715
716
717
718
719The windows aside were dyed with the colors of the sunset.
720
721A dark blue presence slowly stretched itself from the other side of the sky, the flickering road lamps illuminates the path for the leaving students.
722
723Even though the length of daylight has slightly extended, night still seems to have fallen rather early. The total silence from the soccer field where most sports club operate on tells me that the school gates will soon close.
724
725The time spent in the staff room wasn't too long, but enough to change the scenery within the campus. As if we have lost our sense of time within that small isolated space.
726
727Within that tiny gap of time where I looked away from the windows, things continued to change.
728
729Even by now, as I walk on this short path that leads me from staff room to the student council room, new circumstances might have arose without me realizing it.
730
731Being aware of the changes that could happen in any minute, I made haste on my footsteps.
732
733This passageway with no presence of anyone other than myself, is filled up by the sunset's afterglow.
734
735In comparison to the special block or new school building that has better lighting, the transparent windows being the only light source here gives off a more chilling sensation, while during winter things would look much more colder in this corridor.
736
737The sounds of footsteps echoed within the chilly air.
738
739Not the lively flapping kind of footsteps, nor the bold heavy kind of footsteps, but mushy sounds of footsteps that gave off a sense of wetness.
740
741As I'm in a hurry, I walked in an awkward way, where I can feel one my shoes stepping on the heel of the other at times.
742
743But I can't stop just yet.
744
745Not stopping is already a big improvement by itself.
746
747My body felt lighter after the talk with Hiratsuka sensei.
748
749I now have a clear image of the things that I want to do, the things that I wish to own.
750
751Ignore anything unnecessary, throw away the questions accumulated in my mind, stop thinking about those concerns that loomed in my heart.
752
753Leave everything else behind, keeping only the mission, and work on it like a robot.
754
755As long as this can be solved, its fine to shove everything else aside, what I must do now, is to seek for every single option that I could make use of.
756
757As I kept walking, I have reached the very end of the afterglow in the passageway.
758
759The seemingly continuous flow of windows were replaced by the walls that links to the student council room.
760
761The door to the student council room was closed shut, and no voices were heard from the inside, making my own breathing the only sound audible to me. I took some time to regulate my breath in order to calm myself down.
762
763It has been a few days since I've ever met Yukinoshita and Iroha, the last time we met, is the day when Yukinoshita's mother came over to the school to request for the cancellation of the prom. Our last conversation being a refusal that hardly counts as a proper talk.
764
765Which is why staying calm and composed is crucial to what happens next. If any one of us have our feelings take over ourselves, it will be impossible for us to reach a common ground.
766
767Alright, this shouldn't be that big of a problem, after all my emotions have died off to the point that it has reached a negative value! But wait, isn't that worse?
768
769Can I do it? Can I do it? (Heartbeat rises)...Ah yes, ah yes, I can do it I can do it, gambatei~gambatei <3
770
771This extremely out of character encouragement I made to myself had a surprisingly uplifting effect on my mood, thus I took advantage this change, and knocked on the door.
772
773"Coming~"
774
775Iroha's voice and sounds of approaching footsteps could be heard.
776
777The door soon opened up, as I looked into the door seam, her flaxen brown colored hair could be seen swaying around, along her long woolen sweater that shone under the sunset.
778
779Isshiki Iroha's head then popped out from the half opened door, and soon as she saw me, her expression turned from her originally cute curious face into a...face that spells of yabai desu.
780
781"...Ah."
782
783Iroha took a soft sigh, took a glance behind her, and walked out of the student council room cautiously, and closed the door immediately as she stepped out. Looking at me we an awkward expression:
784
785"So you came after all...ahaha."
786
787"Yeah, is Yukinoshita in there?"
788
789Iroha looked back at the student council room as she heard my question, implying that Yukinoshita is indeed in the room, I then exhaled out gases of relief and nervousness.
790
791I grabbed onto my pockets to wipe off the sweat on my palm, then moved forward, reaching out my arm towards the doorknob.
792
793As I was about to reach it, Iroha moved left to block my arm. What's this? A crab game? Guess the Obamasgone meme even got to the masses huh. I then sent out my left hand, which Iroha reacted swiftly, blocking all possible paths I could reach out to the doorknob. What's with this one on one defense situation, our national team really need someone of your caliber on their defensive line...
794
795"Uhm......you're blocking the way...can you uh, move aside please?"
796
797Iroha answered by completely sticking her back onto the doorknob, crossed her arms, stared at me and said:
798
799"Before that, may I know for what exact reason are you here? Unrelated personnel are prohibited in this room, you know."
800
801Iroha wagged her finger while saying this with a stern face, huh, a never seen before expression from her. Thanks to the special treatment from both ex and present student council president , I've always entered this room without asking permission, but it is a rule that unrelated personnel are prohibited from the student council room. And now that this rule has been brought up against me, I can't do anything about it either.
802
803Sigh, for a girl of Iroha's personality this is just so annoying, but then again...the way she put one hand on her waist, while waggling her finger on the other looks so cute, not to mention that she's pouting too.
804
805But in contrast to her cute expression, from how she refused to move away from the door, I can sense a strong will that won't yield unless I convince her properly, so I'll have to be honest with Iroha or she won't budge.
806
807"...I'm here to help."
808
809"You can't <3 "
810
811"Eh......"
812
813Iroha then moved closer to me and lay out her arms horizontally, as if she is blocking me while asserting her dominance.
814
815But she seemed to realize that I have no intention to leave either, probably knowing this situation will probably last very long without any of us giving up, Iroha then asked:
816
817"So...you already knew about the current situation of the prom?"
818
819"Yes."
820
821As she heard my answer, Iroha then knocked on her head with a troubled face. After a few moments of silence, she looked back at the room again. She then took a few steps away from the room, while signaling me to follow her. It seems that she doesn't want our conversation to be overheard by Yukinoshita, at least that seems to be her intention.
822
823Or I can just ignore her and go straight into the room instead.
824
825As I sneaked bit by bit towards the door, Iroha who already expected me to do so, grabbed onto my cuffs, and dragged me far far away from the room.
826
827Since I can't just shake off her small hands, I had no choice but to follow Iroha's lead, after walking a distance in the corridor, we took a turn, and stopped at the open corridor that links the main school building to the special block.
828
829A long bench was placed at the walls of this air corridor, students tend to gather around here in between classes, but now that its late, the only things here are the chilly air that fills in the atmosphere and the dim light from the sunset.
830
831After walking to the bench, Iroha finally let go of me, I rubbed on the cuff of my sleeve to make sure that there are no wrinkles, a lingering warmth could felt as I touched it, which made my cheeks tickle a little. Geez don't just hold onto my sleeves all of a sudden, this makes me feel shy you know.
832
833"Senpai, I appreciate your intention to help, I personally feel happy about it too but..."
834
835As Iroha made a pause while leaning her back onto the window, she awkwardly looked to the ground, along that long eyelashes of hers.
836
837"But I can't let you in just yet, more specifically I can't let you meet her."
838
839"Why?"
840
841I asked while sitting onto the bench. Iroha lay down her hands and put it behind her, sticking onto the windows.
842
843"To be honest I was thinking that things will get more troublesome if senpai came over immediately, so maybe its better if you could come over a bit more later."
844
845"Well... yes, maybe you're right."
846
847Its not hard to figure out where she is coming from, since Iroha was there when we had that argument. It makes sense for her to be worried, especially after witnessing such a pointless dispute. I felt anxious about meeting up with Yukinoshita too, but even so, I can't just take a step backwards.
848
849"...Its fine, I plan to speak to her properly."
850
851"I P L A N T O S P E A K T O H E R P R O P E R L Y. Eh~~ you sure about that senpai?"
852
853She stared at me in a very doubtful way...the edges of her lips were twisting as if its making a 'ngyeh' sound, her eyebrows look tightly wrinkled too. What's with this level of disbelief...her expression made me feel uneasy, so I slowly averted my eyes, and made a soft cough.
854
855"Its true, its true all right? I did make a proper planning on how to startup the conversation."
856
857Bringing up codependency will only stress us off. So for now its better to avoid dealing with this matter, and work on the other important issues. Our thoughts might differ, but we have the common topic of making the prom a success, and that should allow us to have a constructive discussion.
858
859But man, why is Iroha still putting up that doubtful face...
860
861"How to start up the conversation huh...can't say that I trust senpai on that."
862
863"Yeah, sure sucks to have low credibility."
864
865Being self aware of my life decisions that hardly earned me any credibility, I shrugged lightly.
866
867Iroha then stood silent for a moment as if she's trying to observe something, and let out a deep sigh. Guess she's just felt speechless towards me.
868
869"Senpai, you're being overprotective again."
870
871As Iroha said so, she walked towards me, gripped onto the edges of her skirt, and gently sat beside me. She held onto her forehead, slightly lifting her chin. Her hair rustled lightly as they moved across her elbows, glimmering under the sunset, she started to gaze at somewhere beyond the windows in front of us.
872
873"I'm sure that, Yukinoshita senpai is trying her best here. Not that I can't understand how she felt."
874
875"...Well, she definitely is."
876
877I lay down my hands behind me, and stared at the ceiling above.
878
879Perhaps Iroha's respond is a better idea. When someone has the intent to complete something alone, for the others to take a step back and see things through is probably what's better for that person
880
881"Even so...you still plan to help her?"
882
883Looking towards the direction of her voice, Iroha's hand continued to lay on her forehead, while slightly turning her head towards me, as if she's observing my reactions. Even if this action felt pretty childish, very cute, but a chilling sense of seriousness lies within her eyes.
884
885"...That is my intention."
886
887While I can't trust my dead fish eyeballs to make me look serious at all, I tried to compensate by deepening my tone. Iroha stayed silent for a while, seemingly considering something, then asked me in a soft tone:
888
889"Even if...doing so wouldn't benefit Yukinoshita senpai at all, you'll still offer your aid?
890
891"I never really acted out on the intent of benefiting anyone in the first place, so I'm just doing the usual here...yeah."
892
893"Doing the usual...huh."
894
895I nodded in reply as she muttered those words in a confused tone. Iroha then laid her head down, while I turned my head to look at the windows
896
897The outcomes have always been the same.
898
899My words and actions have always end up being far from the correct solution. An endless cycle of misunderstanding things and making mistakes, even my apology didn't end up well, like a row of buttons that continue to end up in the wrong hole of the shirt.
900
901This has been repeating throughout the whole year, and before I realize it, winter is almost over, the strong winds that indicates the incoming of spring rattles the windows, breaking this short moment of silence.
902
903"To be honest, I don't think that Yukinoshita senpai will accept your offer."
904
905"Indeed..."
906
907I accidentally let out a deep sigh, Iroha then came closer and continued saying:
908
909"In fact, you'll probably be cruelly rejected."
910
911"That's probably the case..."
912
913I sighed once again, Iroha moved even closer and stared at me:
914
915"Even so, you still want to help?"
916
917"Of course I'll help..."
918
919Hearing my answer that was followed up by another sigh, Iroha opened her mouth wide while leaning her head to her right:
920
921"Huh!? But why bruh?"
922
923"Well for why I'm doing so..."
924
925Is it really that shocking, she even stopped using honorifics at this point, not that it really matters...But, did she forgot what she said in the first place...
926
927"Weren't you the one who asked for my help in the first place..."
928
929As I said that, Iroha looks frozen for a moment, blinked her eyes for a few times. Then took a quick step back, and then shook her hands, while saying rapidly:
930
931"Wha...what? Are you doing it for me?! What the hell do you have a crush on me or something even though I have always received your help even though you always treated me nicely and even though I don't dislike you but there are too many things that need to be cleared up for now so lets put this off for another time sorrymasen."
932
933She quickly followed up with a deep bow. Which I responded by nodding my head in satisfaction.
934
935"Ah yes, now that's what I'm looking for. It sounds different from the usual but whatever."
936
937"What's with this comment...its the same as the usual isn't it?"
938
939Muttered Iroha unhappily, she seems to have glared at me too. Yeah whatever, that's the reaction I expected...taking a distance away from me as I lie down feeling exhausted, Iroha pointed at her cheeks with her index finger, while saying with a poker face.
940
941"I won't mind if you use me as an excuse, though."
942
943"Bad excuse, and its not the real reason after all..."
944
945Iroha ignored my correction, and continued poking her cheek, looking troubled:
946
947"But to be fair, I doubt that wouldn't be the kind of reason Yukinoshita senpai will accept either."
948
949"Of course its not...how did we loop back to this? But hey, at least our great Irohasu can help by saying a few goods throughout our conversation, no?"
950
951"Eh...I don't want to... Also it impossible for me to do so."
952
953"Impossible... Even answering that in an instant..."
954
955Wait, did she seriously just said 'I don't want to'? As I looked towards her, wondering if I misheard Mada Mada for Yada Yada, Iroha made a soft cough, then patted on her chest for no reason and said:
956
957"Yes, a girl's decision cannot be easily be changed. Well, but if its something decided by someone else we can simply make amends to it, if that decision is a pain we can act like we forgotten it."
958
959"You're the worst..."
960
961Nonono, that's just you isn't it? Its not a girls exclusive thing, but varies from one to another. The kind of equality where everyone can be All Might is something that a person without talents like me believes in.
962
963As she turned back towards me, Iroha said with a worried face.
964
965"And considering that its Yukinoshita senpai we're dealing with here, its going to be hard isn't it..."
966
967"Of course, of course it would be..."
968
969Not because its a girl's decision, but Yukinoshita's decision, a decision that I can't go against easily. Looking back at my year long experiences of interacting with her, its obvious that Yukinoshita's honesty and seriousness won't allow her to take back those words that easily.
970
971Shutting her eyes closed, crossing her arms, Iroha made a short groan and said.
972
973"For this time, I can feel that she has been caring for me a lot...so I felt like supporting her decision too."
974
975She then stated her final stand with a bitter smile:
976
977"Which is why, I can't bring myself to help out in persuading her, I'm sorry senpai."
978
979I told her not to worry while making my best smile possible, which she replied with a gentle nod. For my random idea of her saying some good things to Yukinoshita, she listened properly and even considered things thoroughly. I have to say, Isshiki Iroha really is a much decent person than how I used to judge her. Which made me feel sorry for attempting to drag her into such a messy issue.
980
981Yes, I should be the one to do the planning.
982
983...Now then, how should I tell her exactly? I can't figure it out, she is truly a big trouble, that girl...but when it comes to being a troublesome I'm the same as her, perhaps even more troublesome in comparison.
984
985I started to rub on my forehead to have a better blood flow around my brain, while doing so, Iroha kept staring at me without making a sound.
986
987"......"
988
989"What is it?"
990
991I asked as I realize her view focusing on me, she shook her head and answered.
992
993"Not really, I was just thinking on how persistent you are."
994
995"Ah...well yes."
996
997To hear such a direct comment, while being stared by her, I find myself in a lack myself of words. Thus I could only reply in such a short, incomplete manner. Iroha slowly walked near me until reaching an arm's distance, while continuing to look into my eyes.
998
999"But why? Being rejected by Yukinoshita senpai by herself, and after hearing such words from Haruno senpai. For what exact reason are you pushing yourself this much? When it comes to such a sticky situation one would simply stay away as far as possible, isn't it so."
1000
1001She phrased her question in a way that doesn't allow me a chance to answer. Even if I could, I doubt that I can come out with a proper answer.
1002
1003Iroha steps closer every time she asks a question, while I move back to maintain our distance, to the point I could feel the back of my legs pressing itself onto the bench.
1004
1005"There's a lot of reasons behind it..."
1006
1007Realizing that there is no further space for me to move away, I could only avoid looking directly at her, but Iroha proceeded to grab onto my tie.
1008
1009"Please answer me seriously, senpai."
1010
1011Iroha forcefully re turned my head towards her, the obvious twist on my necktie tells me that she's applying a lot of strength onto it.
1012
1013I'm unable to look away, neither could I avert my line of view from the image of Iroha's soft lips and glowing eyes. In front of her determined expression, I could only do my best to open my heavy mouth.
1014
1015"I swear, there really are a lot of reasons behind it, its impossible to state each of them clearly just yet..."
1016
1017"Its fine even if you said it vaguely."
1018
1019Iroha does not give any room for me to play around with words, removing all chances for me to remain silent.
1020
1021But how exactly should I phrase it to make her understand better.
1022
1023These painful feelings are not something that could be simply expressed through words, but what's more troublesome about them is that they could be described and be interpreted as anything within the acceptable range. Such a translucent, unclear, shapeless thing. To apply existing words onto it will only slowly chip it off from the sides to the point it reaches degradation, ending up as a total mistake.
1024
1025More importantly, I could not accept the act of simplifying things into one single sentence.
1026
1027Up until now, I've always relied on excuses like bringing my sister into the picture, or stating that I'm just doing my job. Even just now, I tried using Iroha's request as an excuse, something that she would usually get along with.
1028
1029But what Iroha Isshiki wanted is not such dishonest words. Her eyes keep telling me that,
1030
1031it doesn't need to come with a motive, it doesn't need a proper elaboration,
1032
1033its fine for me to make it unclear, its fine for me to say it vaguely.
1034
1035'Show me your answer.'
1036
1037"......I have a responsibility."
1038
1039"Responsibility, huh."
1040
1041Muttered Iroha in a low voice, she took a short breath, and slightly inclined her head.
1042
1043Did it sound too confusing to her? She lowered her head and seemingly thought for a while, then looked back up, signaling me to continue.
1044
1045I nodded in reply, and started assembling words in my head. Probably because Iroha is grabbing onto it, my slightly loose necktie now felt very tight, I find it hard to breath, and my chest felt unusually hot.
1046
1047"For things to become so complicated, and reaching such a state of codependency, its safe to say that I am responsible for causing all of these. Which is why I wanted to clean up my own mess, not a decision to change things up, but simply how I have always done it. That's all that there is." as I finally said out my conclusion that sounded like an answer, Iroha's hand let go of my necktie, and slipped down as it loses its strength.
1048
1049"Ahaha...my bad, it sounded so different what my expectations, that I spaced out a bit right there. Ah...your necktie is completely messed up too, I'm really sorry."
1050
1051"Ah, don't mind, it was kinda twisted before you grabbed on it anyway..."
1052
1053Even after hearing that, Iroha seemed to think that she shouldn't have done that, muttering words like yabai desu, while anxiously rubbing my necktie with her hands, attempting to straighten it. She rubbed on it so hard, that my body wobbled along her movements.
1054
1055Her hands stopped all of a sudden.
1056
1057"Those words that you said just now, can you properly tell the same to Yukinoshita senpai?"
1058
1059Iroha's eyes are still focused onto my necktie, making a weird expression that I can't identify.
1060
1061I couldn't answer her in time, so Iroha pressed on my necktie again, urging me for an answer. Her flaxen brown started to rustle as if they're teasing me. Her cute expression that seemed like she was joking gave me a peace of mind, which made me smile before I realized it.
1062
1063".....I'll definitely say it, but the real question here is whether these words can reach her."
1064
1065"Hmph, truly a troublesome bunch of senpais."
1066
1067Iroha looked up with a speechless kind of smile, and then slapped on my necktie.
1068
1069"For me as long as the Service Club would help me out then there will always be less things to worry of. So go for it alright."
1070
1071Iroha swiftly stood up, after taking a few steps, she turned back at me, and waved in a way that signals me to follow her. Guess she finally allowed me to enter the student council room.
1072
1073I lifted up my stiff body, and walked towards her.
1074
1075
1076
1077
1078
10792-2
1080
1081
1082
1083As I entered the student council room alongside Iroha, a fragrant scent could be smelled, which seems to be some kind of indoor perfume. Unlike the one we have in the Service Club room, its a more refreshingly sweet fruity smell, without the clear fragrance of tea within in.
1084
1085The student council room isn't really big, and the stacking piles of items within the room shows a sign of its long history. In the center of all this mess is a small space that looks unusually tidy and clean.
1086
1087Beside the poignantly designed chairman table places a simple work desk, where Yukinoshita is standing behind it, while looking at a white board.
1088
1089Considering that no other student council members are in here, Yukinoshita and Iroha probably stayed here by themselves to discuss on a new course of plan. Words in red blue and black could be seen on the whiteboard, as she notices someone else entering, Yukinoshita turned her head over.
1090
1091"Oh, Hikigaya kun."
1092
1093"Sup."
1094
1095Yukinoshita acted naturally even after seeing me, showing a faint smile, as if she wasn't affected emotionally by the self restraining order.
1096
1097"Isshiki san, lets have a short break shall we."
1098
1099Saying that, she unlocked the fixating valve on the white board, flipped the board around to show its other surface, and pushed it aside.
1100
1101Yukinoshita proceeded to prepare tea, she turned on the electric kettle in this room, and took out tea bags while waiting for the water to boil.
1102
1103Looking at her doing these actions in a skillful manner, I felt reminiscent all of a sudden. As she realizes my sights laying on her,
1104
1105Yukinoshita shifted her eyes, and stopped at a chair in front of her desk, signaling me to take a seat.
1106
1107The popping sounds of water boiling can be heard as I pulled the chair to make space. Iroha then walked lively towards the chairman desk, sitting on a luxurious looking armchair. I mean that chair is cool looking and all, BUT CAN YOU DO THIS!? Only 399 by the way. (I'm doing my part Pewds)
1108
1109Soon, Yukinoshita pushed over a cup that looks different from our usual tea set. As I thanked her, I held up the cup of tea, only to smell an unfamiliar scent.
1110
1111"Have you heard of it?"
1112
1113She asked an unspecific question, but its obvious on what topic are we talking about here.
1114
1115"Ah, yes. Since I was beside Yuigahama just now."
1116
1117Yukinoshita seemed surprised for a second, but quickly went back to her calm expression from before.
1118
1119"...I see."
1120
1121"I already talked to Hiratsuka sensei to learn about the details. Is it fine on your side? I can help if there's anything that requires my assistance..."
1122
1123As I was halfway through my sentence, Yukinoshita brought the paper cup near to her mouth, took a light sip of tea to moisturize her mouth and answered:
1124
1125"There is no need for that, as we're already working on the appropriate countermeasures."
1126
1127Comparing to the warmth from the cup of tea in my hands, our conversation seemed to have started in a cold awkward tone. Being uneasy of such an atmosphere, Iroha made a few twists on her body, while glancing towards me, telling me to "please say it nicely".
1128
1129No wait a second Iroha, for a conversation to work, stuff like directions, sequences, procedures and timing, even bravery are all relevant essentials isn't it? Man, it just feel so difficult to make a proper conversation. Even now, my attempt to make a test on her intention to talk about this topic got shut down immediately.
1130
1131Anyway for the conversation to continue, an appropriate head start is required, which isn't really something I'm used to.
1132
1133I made a few blows over my cup of tea, thinking on how should I start the conversation. Soon after the hot sensation starts to fade away from the tea, reaching a temperature where my cat tongue can take it in, I took a sip of the tea, and asked with a soft voice.
1134
1135"So... what's your plan?"
1136
1137Upon hearing my question, Yukinoshita looked into my eyes, as if she's trying to instigate something out of me.
1138
1139"We're still reviewing our existing proposal, for now there's nothing much to say about our plans."
1140
1141Reviewing, huh...But considering all those words that I saw on the whiteboard just now, and Iroha glancing towards Yukinoshita with a weird look, it seems that the main direction they'll be taking has already been decided, but she didn't want to talk about it.
1142
1143She even flipped the whiteboard around so that no one could see it, perhaps forcing an answer is not the best course of action.
1144
1145In that case, its better to talk in a more roundabout way, since the conversation will continue to be derailed with my current method. I looked towards Iroha and asked.
1146
1147"Is there anything to do right now?"
1148
1149"...For now, nothing much."
1150
1151Iroha looked away while answering, but she didn't look towards Yukinoshita either, so its hard to say whether this is a lie or not.
1152
1153But looking at the absence of the other student council committees, and the lax atmosphere within this room. It does seems that the situation wasn't as urgent as it seems to be, at least there's no specific action that has to be done immediately.
1154
1155"So to put it in other words, right now is not the suitable time to execute immediate actions?"
1156
1157"Of course, after all we only received the self restrain order by today."
1158
1159Yukinoshita replied the conclusion that I muttered out accidentally, with the same calm tone. For someone who just received the notice not long ago, her words lack a sense of anxiety one would usually expect. Most probably she too, has already noticed the other meaning behind 'apply self restrain', which is why she can remain her composure right now.
1160
1161For the self restraining order from the school's executives, me and Yukinoshita share a similar view on the school's intent. A common topic is the spice to inducing an active conversation, I can probably touch on this topic a little more.
1162
1163I looked back at Yukinoshita.
1164
1165"But there are countermeasures that can be designed based on that isn't so. After all it is only a restraining order, in fact straight out ignoring such an order is possible in case you're desperate."
1166
1167The ones who gave out the restraining order are the school executives, specifically a concession they made towards Hiratsuka sensei. To request for someone to apply self restrain, it also means handing over the right of action to its subject, a wording that could be portrayed in a way where its subject is allowed to make their decisions based on their own judgement. While its original intent is to request the prom organizers to cancel the event without them sounding to be forceful, Yukinoshita can intentionally misunderstood its meaning, and complicate things further, by using the debate where they're only asked to apply self restraint, but the final decision still lies in the hands of the student council.
1168
1169I said that with a bitter smile, being aware that Yukinoshita probably knows better of the situation than I do.
1170
1171Which Yukinoshita replied without raising her eyebrows:
1172
1173"If possible I prefer not to take such a risk,"
1174
1175"while using the ambiguity of the term against them could work. But simply showing them an unyielding attitude won't be enough."
1176
1177"I am aware of that too, so we'll only use this to open up a platform for discussions."
1178
1179Just as she said, to forcefully conduct the prom, is merely a self destructing that will only work once. Such a reckless decision cannot be made if they still plan to organize the prom for the years to come.
1180
1181Their current plan is to apply their self restraining status as their means to negotiate with the parents.
1182
1183We might organize it without school supervision, we might set up the venue at somewhere not within school grounds, we might do something that goes beyond your imaginable level of extremeness, are you still fine with it? Threatening them with such statements.
1184
1185Even if the student council won't actually do such things, it is an effective method to make the parents accept their request to negotiate.
1186
1187It is the hard way to do things, but it will open up room for negotiation.
1188
1189But what matters afterwards, is what material can they present during the negotiation.
1190
1191I stood up, and walked over to move the whiteboard. Yukinoshita sighed, but did not attempt to stop me.
1192
1193I pulled out the whiteboard and flipped it over.
1194
1195As I expected, suggestions of the strategy they can take has been written on the whiteboard, and other information that relates to the new direction the prom will take.
1196
1197It seems that they had quite a discussion, traces of their discussion were left on every corner on the board has. There are two different kinds of handwriting and writing style on the board, which seemingly belongs to Yukinoshita and Iroha.
1198
1199The sentences that mostly end with a question mark, but properly phrased and written horizontally were probably written by Yukinoshita, while the clump of sentences that end with a large exclamation mark seems to belong to Iroha.
1200
1201Judging from the order those sentences were arranged in, Yukinoshita and Iroha each came out with one suggestion at a time, and proceeded to comment on each other's suggestion, in order to find out which idea is better and the possible improvements.
1202
1203"So you two came out with these ideas?"
1204
1205"More accurately, I question Yukinoshita senpai's idea, while Yukinoshita senpai refutes my suggestions."
1206
1207"Is that so, then its quite the constructive discussion you had there."
1208
1209Giving more than one suggestion is important when one reaches a stagnant situation. At least they're able to more options, and both suggestions can compromise with each other, but being too fixated on denying each other won't make things progress either.
1210
1211Only by forming an opposing situation, the discussion could move forward. But merely pointing out whether the suggestions would work, will only make them reach a 'yes or no' kind of conclusion.
1212
1213So, exactly what kind of conclusion have came to...eh? Among all the written things, I can't seem to spot something that feels identical to a conclusion, its like reading through a note that only its owner can understand.
1214
1215"...So, where's your conclusion?"
1216
1217"Lets see...the ones in the red circle."
1218
1219As Iroha answered, I took another look at the whiteboard, there are indeed a few spots that are circled in red.
1220
1221Gorgeous, wholesome, dress code restriction, supporting guidelines, supervising officials, upload prohibited, OK!
1222
1223That's all of them.
1224
1225"Hmmm...I kinda understo...no wait wait wait, I don't understand what's going on here at all."
1226
1227Like, what is this, a spot the word game? I felt like I can understand it yet I can't at the same time...what am I looking at exactly?
1228
1229I looked back, hoping for an explanation.
1230
1231Yukinoshita then placed her finger on the cup mouth, looking at the gently swinging waves on the surface of the tea.
1232
1233"I was still sorting things out when you came."
1234
1235"Oh, that was...sorry for interrupting."
1236
1237Yukinoshita sounded as if she was simply stating a fact with no intent of blaming anyone, which made me stutter at my words. From how she was standing in front of the board when I first stepped into the room, it does seem that Yukinoshita was finalizing things. I apologized for my sudden interruption, which she gently shook her head, telling me not to mind.
1238
1239To shift away from this awkward atmosphere, I cleared up my throat and ask with a clear voice:
1240
1241"So, what are these words supposed to mean. I don't really get it"
1242
1243This time, it was Yukinoshita who seemed awkward, pausing for a short moment before she answered:
1244
1245"...As I said, we're still reviewing the proposal."
1246
1247She looked down and didn't say anything further. Well, considering that Yukinoshita doesn't want me to be involved, it make sense that she would prefer not to elaborate any further.
1248
1249Which means, ready, se, no, Irohasu chan~ I briefly glanced at Iroha, which she replied while showing a reluctant face.
1250
1251"Um...to put it simple, our current focus is to... make amendments on our clothing restrictions? Am I saying this right Yukinoshita senpai?"
1252
1253As Iroha turned over to confirm with Yukinoshita, probably thinking that it's not good to just ignore her, Yukinoshita answered reluctantly.
1254
1255"We plan to enforce our dress code to prohibit extravagant or very revealing clothes. After properly defining the proper requirements, we'll contact the clothing renter from our side to prepare a suitable catalog."
1256
1257"Oh..."
1258
1259I see. Setting up a standard for the acceptable dresses, in order to guarantee the wholesomeness on the appearances of the students during the event. And most students will prefer renting clothes through the student council, so they'll naturally have to adhere to the dress code guidelines. But there are also exceptions...
1260
1261"What about students who intends to wear their own clothes?"
1262
1263Iroha then pointed towards the circled words and answered.
1264
1265"Since most participants will be wearing clothes that meets our guidelines, those students will most probably restrain themselves to not stand out too much from the group."
1266
1267"Right, peer pressure."
1268
1269"That's not a nice word to describe it..."
1270
1271Iroha glared at me, looking disgusted and unhappy. But isn't that exactly what she meant...
1272
1273Even then, I doubt that everyone would accept to blend in with the crowd. No matter which era we're in there will always be that one eccentric person with a thought like "I will walk my own path even if that means being different from the others!! Look at my erotic image that makes me stand out from dem plebs!! It's☆party☆time!!", while placing a Pichelle on top of their heads (Ref 1: A Japan fashion magazine).
1274
1275"But wouldn't there still be a few students who would wear ridiculous clothing on the purpose of gaining attention? It is an important moment in their school life, after all."
1276
1277"We're aware of such a possibility. So existing countermeasures have already been planned."
1278
1279Yukinoshita gave a direct answer, but did not further elaborate on her statement. But take a better look at these clues, and the answer will eventually reveal itself.
1280
1281"...Will they really accept or obey the restriction to not upload anything on the SNS?"
1282
1283I tapped on that unusually small text on the lowest part of the white board. Was the written this small because of their lack of space? Or their lack of confidence in this solution?
1284
1285Yukinoshita let out a very tired sigh.
1286
1287"About that, even if its hard to have them obey it, it wouldn't hurt to at least have a written notice either."
1288
1289"Even if any issue arises from that, the responsibility will only fall on them for not obeying the rules isn't so? After all, they're no longer kids anymore."
1290
1291Said Iroha.
1292
1293While it's true that the graduates are above the age of consent, but there is still the general idea where people above the age of 18 can be viewed as adults, and it wouldn't stop people from criticizing the organizers either. While I was thinking it through, Yukinoshita made another remark.
1294
1295"We're aware that simply restricting them from uploading pictures online will cause dissatisfaction, so we intend to compensate by hiring freelance photographers, and sell photos or data to the participants after the prom.
1296
1297"Ah...I see how it is."
1298
1299For some reason Iroha raised up her chest in satisfaction, I guess girls do have the need of taking cute pictures.
1300
1301Hiring a photographer and selling pictures won't be a problem. Considering that recent school events such as our sports day also restrict parents from taking photos, while the school openly sells pictures to them.
1302
1303Even during the Showa period, there are certain occasions where students would bring along a photographer with them for events like their graduation trip, and purchase photos from them, so this should be acceptable by the parents.
1304
1305This might even bring us to interesting stories like, someone writing down the purchase number of the picture that has his favorite girl in it, only to be noticed by the other students. asking him: "Yo, this picture doesn't have you in it no? Lets see...bruhhhhhhh!" rumors then quickly spread around among the class, the poor guy getting teased by his classmates, and getting rejected on the second day before he could even confess. Any parent who had such a painful experience will understand what selling photos really mean wouldn't they?
1306
1307Cough.
1308
1309Anyway, setting it up as a written rule on the surface, bringing out the argument where its their own responsibilities to obey the rules, and convince those who felt dissatisfied by bringing up the advantages of this rule, while preparing an alternative choice for the students. A viable plan indeed.
1310
1311The students might go against it, but what's more important is that the student council have a relevant point that can be accepted by the parents.
1312
1313While uncertainties still exist, being able to show the parents that the organizers have countermeasures to deal with the concerns they expressed on is what matters here.
1314
1315"I see...a good plan indeed."
1316
1317"Thank you."
1318
1319I briefly made a remark while staring at the whiteboard, which Yukinoshita replied with minimal words.
1320
1321Even if its only an outline, the amount of thought put into it within such a short time is incredible.
1322
1323However, there is still a few parts where I can question of.
1324
1325"So with this, what are the expected chances of winning?"
1326
1327I asked them as I knocked on the whiteboard with the back of my finger. Iroha made an uhm sound looking displeased, while Yukinoshita did not show any changes in her expression, and answered in her usual calm tone.
1328
1329" We took their concerns into consideration, and came out with methods to deal with the said issues. I believe that our chances of getting their approval won't be low."
1330
1331"Well yeah, that seems to be the case. That they'll approve of the improved proposal now that you dealt with their concerns...under normal circumstances, that is."
1332
1333But I know, that things won't be that simple this time.
1334
1335This is not the same situation like the ones we've always dealt with.
1336
1337All these weird concerns and requests from the parents were presented to us based on the absolute intent of shutting down the graduation prom. Not with the intent of making the prom a reality, nor the intent of expecting improvements from its organizers. No matter how much compromises were made, the chances of them approving the event are still slim, they're lacking a crucial element if they wish to get past such an ill intent.
1338
1339The one crucial element that Yukinoshita can't obtain, or specifically, can't attempt to obtain.
1340
1341And this is where I step in.
1342
1343I've been observing Yukinoshita's reactions in order to find an opening to talk to her, now seems to be the right moment. I glanced at Iroha, which she nodded lightly in approval.
1344
1345"Yukinoshita, there is something that I wish to speak properly to you of."
1346
1347Hearing that, Yukinoshita looked at me with an astonished face.
1348
1349"...Alrighty, then I should probably seek myself ou..."
1350
1351Pretending to react towards the atmosphere, Iroha stood up intending to leave. But Yukinoshita stopped her immediately.
1352
1353"I believe that its related to the graduation prom? If that's the case its better that Isshiki san stay present too."
1354
1355"Ahaha...is that so."
1356
1357Answering her awkwardly, Iroha glanced me briefly, which I reacted by shaking my head, telling her that its fine. Iroha then sat back down with an uneasy look on her face.
1358
1359I'm aware that Yukinoshita does not want me to be involved. In fact she probably prefers to avoid having a conversation with me at all. That's why she asked Iroha to stay, as the presence of a third person might make it harder for me to speak out.
1360
1361But if that's the case, then I just have the hold on to my resolve.
1362
1363"...Can I help out with the prom?"
1364
1365Right after I said that, Yukinoshita's eyes open up wide, seeming to be shocked. She then lowered her view, and slightly opened her mouth as if she was about to say something.
1366
1367If I simply waited for her to give a reply, she'll definitely try to derail the conversation like she did just now. So I interrupted her by continuing to speak, forcing out every reasons I could think of without leaving any gaps in between.
1368
1369"I don't think that there's any problems in your amendments to the proposal. But, the rate of success isn't too high. So we should probably work on another set of proposal. I know that the original proposal has been rejected, so maybe we can think of a third or fourth option on how to change things up."
1370
1371As I continued to speak, I realized that what I said doesn't seem to convey my message properly. But if I take any pauses I'm afraid that I might end up feeling breathless.
1372
1373"Now that things have developed to this stage, its not like I'm taking the initiative to do something, I'll simply act based on your instructions, just look at me as a character who comes up with a few ideas while standing near to the wall. This kind of role has no difference from that of Iroha and the others right? Just doing the kind of thing that I usually do, that's all I wish for."
1374
1375Yukinoshita lightly bit on her lower lip, and listened silently, she doesn't seem to be angry or sad, as if she's trying her best to suppress her feelings.
1376
1377".....Indeed, just like how things have always been."
1378
1379"If that's the ca..."
1380
1381Yukinoshita interrupted, lowering her head as she continued speaking.
1382
1383"In the end, I'll still have to rely on you..."
1384
1385Her voice seemingly sounded calm and steady, yet every word she said drops a suffocating pressure on my chest.
1386
1387Yukinoshita lifted her head back up, staring at me with a smile which resembles that of a mother looking at her playful child, gently, slowly, said out those words of persuasion.
1388
1389"Which is exactly why, I wish to change it, those words that my sister said, you know that too don't you?"
1390
1391"I......yes."
1392
1393Hearing her say that, I couldn't help but avert my eyes away.
1394
1395Codependency.
1396
1397Perhaps its not just me, Yukinoshita herself is aware of that term too.
1398
1399Which is why she refuses to let things remain the way they were, to correct what's wrong with our relationship, to become independent.
1400
1401While I can't even find myself to question what's right or wrong, simply sugar coating our relationship with a vague term, constraining myself to such a twisted relationship.
1402
1403"But......this is a responsibility that I should take. It was never about which side is on the wrong, isn't so?"
1404
1405As I fought my through my brain to complete this sentence, I looked into Yukinoshita eyes, they're twitching painfully, which made me look away again, I can't find myself to continue now that I've seen such an expression from her.
1406
1407But if I don't say it now, I might never have another chance in the future. For I am aware of how much of a troublesome and unreliable person I am.
1408
1409Which is why I have to let her know. Even if its hard to tell her how I feel, even if I can't express those feelings properly, I have, to let her know.
1410
1411"Of course, I can simply choose to step aside and not do anything. But such a method won't change anything for the better, if the methods we've been using up until now is wrong, then we seek for a different method, and different mindset, a different form of communication..."
1412
1413How could I make my words sound better? I continued to search for better terms to use, yet the monster of self awareness and rationality continues to bare it fangs at me. Ambiguous thoughts form themselves into a hideous shape as they leave my mouth, every word I say strays myself further and further from their actual meaning. Am I being too anxious, before I realize it my hands clenched themselves into fists under the table. I took a deep breath, and opened up my palms to wipe off the sweat onto my pants.
1414
1415Did my words reach her the way I wanted them to?
1416
1417"So...no matter what kind of ending awaits, I wish to take responsibility for it properly."
1418
1419No, perhaps it doesn't matter.
1420
1421"Which is why...I really want to...help you out."
1422
1423These words were only said for the sake of my self satisfaction, for the sake of forcing my wish onto Yukinoshita.
1424
1425Being aware of the true nature of my actions, I am unable to look into her eyes, thus I could only steer my vision away from her.
1426
1427"......Thank you. But its fine now, you've said enough."
1428
1429Her voice sounded as tender as the sounds of snow falling during the night, a beautiful sensation that felt like it'll vanish all of a sudden, a strong force that could attract every being in this world. Her expression seemed like she is at peace, in front of such a cute yet pitiful smile, I could only hold back my breath and voice.
1430
1431Within this frosty silence, Yukinoshita continued to speak in a soft voice.
1432
1433"It was my fault to begin with, always letting you and Yuigahama san handle things...that's why we've entered such an unclear situation. If I don't clean things up, none of us will be able to move forward, isn't so? The one who should be taking responsibility, is me."
1434
1435"......No, its my responsibility too."
1436
1437Yukinoshita lowered her head after hearing my reply, slowly shaking her head. As I struggled to find a better way to continue the conversation. Iroha interrupted us.
1438
1439"Ano, may I ask how long do you two plan to revolve on the same problem?"
1440
1441She sounded mad as she asked the question, staring at me and Yukinoshita.
1442
1443Neither of us could answer her, so we could only continue to lower our heads. I guess that's just how things work between us, no conclusion could be obtained no matter how much we talk about it, and our viewpoints will remain as parallel lines. Knowing that, me and Yukinoshita decided not to continue, both of us remaining silent.
1444
1445In the end of the day, my thoughts still failed to reach her.
1446
1447The message can never be conveyed if we refuse to speak, but even through speaking the message still can't reach the other side. Throughout the whole year, we have always had this sort of feeling. That the idea of talking to each other to achieve a mutual understanding is merely an arrogant thought, while the idea of achieving mutual understanding without communicating with each other is merely an illusion.
1448
1449Which is why, we'll always have to properly think on what to speak of, how to say them properly. Being able to speak of any pointless topics to our freedom, yet remaining silent on the most important things.
1450
1451But, these feelings that I wanted to express is not some kind of phrase or term, and in the end of the day I'm not an expert of communicating through words.
1452
1453In that case, the solution is simple.
1454
1455Our medium of communication has always been there.
1456
1457"I understand. Then I'll stop talking about it, I won't help you out either."
1458
1459Whew, I said it loud and clear. At the corner of my field of view, Iroha took a gasp.
1460
1461Yukinoshita smiled and nodded her head, looking relieved after hearing my reply.
1462
1463I already expected such an answer since the beginning. But without properly talking to her I can't be sure of things. If I don't make our positions clear the conversation can't go on.
1464
1465I smirked and continued saying.
1466
1467"......But I never said that I won't oppose you."
1468
1469"Huh?"
1470
1471Iroha leaned over her head.
1472
1473Yukinoshita also seemed confused as she first heard me, but closed up her eyelids soon after, has she understood what I was trying to say?
1474
1475I put up a sarcastic smile, and put up both of my fist up to my chest.
1476
1477"I don't think its hard to guess, what happens when our opinions oppose each other, right?"
1478
1479After listening to Hiratsuka sensei's talk about heroes of justice fighting out a solution, this is the hazy idea that I came out with.
1480
1481When communicating through works couldn't work out, then I'll express myself through my actions.
1482
1483"I've been concerned with the prom's status for quite a while after all, so I'd feel kinda upset if the event fails to be approved. But I can't fully approve of your amendments to the proposal either......In that case, I'll make one by myself."
1484
1485"Are you being serious about this?"
1486
1487I nodded in reply to Yukinoshita's question.
1488
1489Even if its a one sided decision, this is indeed a way for me to gain minimal relevance to the graduation prom.
1490
1491If I give up here, that would mean that I'm denying all the relationship I've built with her, and the Service Club.
1492
1493Which is why I have to try, to prove to Yukinoshita that our relationship is not codependency.
1494
1495To prove to her that, all these time that we've been through has a more positive meaning to it.
1496
1497Only after proving that, we can slowly move towards a better, a more correct relationship.
1498
1499"Our competition haven't ended, and not everyone has to go with the same way of doing things either. So, its fine for the two of us to take a different route from each other, isn't so?"
1500
1501Yukinoshita said a similar thing to me a long time ago. But I believe that she still remembers it, otherwise she wouldn't be biting her lower lip right now.
1502
1503Referring to how we set up the competition back then, as long as the basic structure and concept of the competition haven't changed, the rule should still apply to our current situation.
1504
1505I waited for Yukinoshita to reply. But only a few troubled sighs could be heard from her.
1506
1507Iroha who was sitting beside the silent Yukinoshita answered.
1508
1509"I think this could work, "
1510
1511"As long as the prom could be approved, the process doesn't seem that relevant to me, and what Yukinoshita senpai said just now won't matter in this case, so it should be fine."
1512
1513Iroha's indifferent statement, made Yukinoshita find it hard to think of a reply.
1514
1515The silence within the room continues to loom. Perhaps such silence is the exact answer that I needed, thinking of that, I let out a breath of relief.
1516
1517As I guessed, even if I brought up the competition as an excuse, she wouldn't just accept it......despite her competitive nature, Yukinoshita Yukino is not a simple minded person.
1518
1519"......Well, not like that I plan on getting approval from your side anyway, I'm just stating on what I plan to do afterwards, that's the only point that I want you to know."
1520
1521This is not a negotiation. Simply my notice, my declaration of war.
1522
1523She should be clever enough to understand the situation, Yukinoshita let out a sigh, took a shallow bite on her lips. Closed her eyes painfully, and put her hand under her mouth, and started thinking.
1524
1525Faint sounds of breathing flow within the silence of the room. But unlike the speechless situation from before, the quietness right now does not give of a sense of rejection, but felt more like an intermission towards the next stage.
1526
1527Yukinoshita tapped on the edge of her lips, which then opened up, creating a voice that doesn't sound like a sigh or mutter.
1528
1529"If that's the case......"
1530
1531Did she originally intended not to say it out? The words that just left her mouth paused midway, as if they're about to vanish into the thin air and never resurface.
1532
1533As I leaned forward, ready to ask for a follow up. Yukinoshita opened her eyes, her grim expression loses momentum slowly, returning into its original calmness.
1534
1535Like a frozen blue flame, beautiful yet faint. The awe inspiring clearness on her expression took away my breath, made me forgot to seek for a continuation of her words, and even filled up my entire field of view.
1536
1537"The victor will have the right to command the other to do anything...I believe that its the case?"
1538
1539A sharp light glimmers among her pale blue eyes. Unlike how she seemed to be lost in her thoughts a while ago, her eyes are now free of confusion, staring at me openly.
1540
1541I looked properly into her eyes, and nodded in conirmation.
1542
1543"Yes, that will be the case."
1544
1545Its been a while since the last time I had chills from Yukinoshita, this nostalgic feeling that reminds me of our conversation from back then. The realization that the atmosphere between us went back like how it usually was, made me let out a breath of relief.
1546
1547The tension within the air has finally gone away.
1548
1549Iroha, who has been listening to our conversation all this time muttered.
1550
1551"Ew, what was that all about? Gross.
1552
1553"Hey now..."
1554
1555As I looked at her, Iroha lowered down her head like a kid who got scolded for saying something inappropriate.
1556
1557"Hmphhhh...but it really does feel out of place and a little creepy isn't it...also senpai, why are you getting ahead of yourself all of a sudden?"
1558
1559Iroha blurted out her ridiculous comment with a dissatisfied look on her face, oh come on......as I grunted at Iroha, someone started to laugh all of a sudden.
1560
1561"Yes, it does feel a little gross. Ufufufu..."
1562
1563Yukinoshita laughed in a pretty comical way. Its been a while since I last saw such a carefree laugh from her, a smile as mesmerizing as a blooming flower. Which Iroha nodded her head repeatedly like she's saying 'I know right!'. Seeing them acting this way, something that has been pulled tight within me suddenly snaps into half, making me lose my strength uncontrollably.
1564
1565"You two..."
1566
1567"Ahaha...cough, that was simply a joke. But now you've reminded me, everything did started from that day indeed."
1568
1569Yukinoshita held back her smiling face, with the colors of happiness still lingering within her eyes, she stared at me with a provoking look, that also felt a little delightful.
1570
1571"So allow me to finalize things. The both of us will do things by our own methods in the aim of realizing the graduation prom, and the victor gets to demand something from the loser, is that it?"
1572
1573"Ah...yes."
1574
1575I answered briefly, which Yukinoshita nodded in satisfaction. I stared at her smug face with my mouth half open.
1576
1577She probably realized that I was acting strangely, as Yukinoshita looked over and asked.
1578
1579"What's wrong?"
1580
1581"Nothing... I'm just surprised that you would actually accept the challenge."
1582
1583I looked over towards Iroha, trying to make sure if I said it the right way. But probably because she wasn't aware of the competition, she seems to be sulking with a very displeased face, and shrugged at me like she's saying 'I don't even know what's going on here anymore'.
1584
1585"Its not really that inconceivable."
1586
1587Yukinoshita calmly stated that, as she threaded over her hair over her shoulders.
1588
1589Hmm...is this a riddle? But the answer seems pretty difficult to figure out. As I started to try solving the question, Yukinoshita smiled at me triumphantly.
1590
1591"Didn't you already knew? That I really hate losing to others."
1592
1593With a slightly mischievous smile, in a teasing tone, she revealed the answer to her riddle.
1594
1595
1596
1597
1598
1599
1600Interlude 2
1601
1602
1603
1604That was, more or less, a confession.
1605
1606Or maybe a lover's quarrel, or talking about breaking up.
1607
1608Though, it doesn't matter which one was it. I don't care.
1609
1610But I felt like an idiot when they let me hear that. I was there, but it felt like they were making me realize that I have nothing to do with that.
1611
1612It's so disgusting that it makes me want to say one of the vulgar words.
1613
1614For real. Please take your responsibility seriously.
1615
1616I glared at the door where senpai left.
1617
1618I've never thought that the conversation ended up being complicated in the most proper, precise, beautiful and plain way.
1619
1620I'm in the mood to go after him and complain.
1621
1622Being told something like that with a serious face is troubling.
1623
1624His always whether-or-not-closed eyes that I really don't get. His incessantly dissatisfied mouth bent in a twisted way. His words that I have no idea if they were lies or jokes but always extremely vague. Even though he's the one who was meddling here, he suddenly becomes flustered that his reaction was rather pale, and slow to produce a response. Yet, he makes a seemingly serious face super rarely and once in a while that it's sickening to the stomach.
1625
1626For real, just really. Please take your responsibility seriously.
1627
1628I mean, he hasn't taken any responsibility yet up until now.
1629
1630Even so, please don't say "responsibility" lightly as some sort of excuse.
1631
1632While listening to what was senpai's saying, it seemed like he wasn't looking as my eyes pointed downwards. Rather, I know that he wasn't looking at me but please take a hint of the mood when it comes to those kind of situation. Senpai, Yukino-senpai and Yui-senpai are all troublsome but I'm somewhat troublesome as well.
1633
1634Really troublesome.
1635
1636Remembering that, my hands stopped moving on the work that I've particularly begun.
1637
1638I would look at the clock. I would absentmindedly look back on what happened earlier. I would think that it's about time to go home. I've done those actions many times. Even if I looked at the clock for the fifth time, two minutes hasn't passed yet. This was the eighth time that I sighed.
1639
1640The moment when I sighed on the ninth time, Yukino-senpai lifted her face from the laptop, she wiped her tears gently.
1641
1642She wasn't wearing her eyeglasses that is apparently effective for eyestrain. The eyeglasses were just placed on the side of the desk. Instead, she applied drops on her eyes.
1643
1644I was shocked when she wiped the tears that suddenly flowed on her cheeks, so I unconsciously said something unnecessary.
1645
1646"Uhm, should we go home?"
1647
1648Yukino-senpai's eyes remained resting somewhere, seemed a little bit confused then looked at me. Her expression had a shade of color than the usual that it's a slightly scary.
1649
1650"…Right. I'll remain here for a bit, so it's fine if you want to go home early."
1651
1652"Is that… so…"
1653
1654With her precise smile and words, I looked at Yukino-senpai's gentle face. I was a bit hesitant to say something. Being said such a thing in a kind way makes me feel terrible and instead, it becomes harder to go home. As I was mumbling about what to do, Yukino-senpai speaked like she has already decided that I will be going home.
1655
1656"Also, we could call the Student Council members starting tomorrow."
1657
1658"Eh, ha, huh… isn't that a bit too quick? The policy was just decided today, you know?"
1659
1660"I'll form it by tomorrow. Besides, the prom is going to happen, so it's better if the preparations are made quickly, right?"
1661
1662Yukino-senpai said that in an obvious way that I thought hard dazedly and ended up being completely stupefied.
1663
1664"…You're declaring it, I see."
1665
1666"Yes."
1667
1668Yukino-senpai's reply didn't change. However, I think I may have made an anxious expression. Looking at that, Yukino-senpai made a slightly troubled face. "Uhm…"
1669
1670I started speaking. But, as I was about to say the words after that… I stopped.
1671
1672Perhaps, it isn't something that I should say.
1673
1674Yukino-senpai tilted her head in contemplation and waited the continuation of my words. But, I think that, maybe, I shouldn't be the one to say that so, instead, I smiled lightly.
1675
1676"…Please don't overwork yourself."
1677
1678"Thank you. But I'll be fine."
1679
1680With that being said, Yukino-senpai typed on the keyboard. The backlight illuminating her white face was sad to the extent that it was beautiful. It looked like a snow that that was about to disappear.
1681
1682"Because this will be the last one. …With this, I could finish it."
1683
1684The words that she whispered weren't directed at me. Her whisper resembled to the continuation of that very low voice I heard from earlier. I looked away.
1685
1686I hurried up and gathered my coat and bag then hastened towards the door. I can't continue talking with Yukino-senpai, who was extremely strict before then became nicer, like this because she might end up saying unnecessary stuff.
1687
1688However, ended up saying those things honestly makes me somewhat frustrated and it's not fair.
1689
1690"…Then, I'll be going. Ah, and the key! I'll leave it to you."
1691
1692"Yes. Thanks for the hard work."
1693
1694When I said that cheerfully, Yukino-senpai smiled in return. She stared at the laptop in once again, then started typing on the keyboard.
1695
1696That figure was more spirited than ever. It felt like she was really into it, and looked like she was having fun.
1697
1698Yet, even so.
1699
1700When I left the Student Council room, I looked back and saw Yukino-senpai…
1701
1702Who seemed like she was crying.
1703
1704
1705
1706
1707
1708Chapter 3: Until the end, Yuigahama Yui continues to watch
1709
1710
1711
1712After coming out of the student council room, I dragged on my feet that felt heavier through every step. The fatigue accumulated throughout the day presses heavily onto my body and mind.
1713
1714As I walked out of the school building, the sun has already went down, the chilly winds of the night started to erode my body.
1715
1716I had the chills as a gust of wind blew across me, I reacted by putting on the coat that I've been holding in my hand up until now. The fatigue continues to crawl over my entire body, that I can't even get myself to properly roll up the scarf hanging around my neck. The way I'm dressing up probably looks familiar to Takanohana Koji's style in his early days.
1717
1718As I dragged myself with what's left of my consciousness towards the bicycle porch, I remembered that I took the monorail this morning due to the rain.
1719
1720I continued to drag on my feet, and turned towards the school gate.
1721
1722On the road, I saw Iroha running in front of me, her skirt fluttering in the wind.
1723
1724She seemed to have noticed me too. Before I could call out to her, she ran over with small steps, and then landed a punch onto the side of my waist.
1725
1726"Ah, it hurts..."
1727
1728Due to her wearing soft gloves, I didn't feel painful at all, but in front of her unhappy expression, I shouted out as if I was in pain to play along her act. However, Iroha did not seem to cheer up, staring at me with a cold sight.
1729
1730"Are you stupid or something? Why did you have to make things so conflicting?"
1731
1732"No, listen. It's not just me, Yukinoshita also acted really..."
1733
1734I tried to give an excuse, but Iroha refused to listen, made a hmph sound and turned over, starting to walk away, I proceeded to follow behind her.
1735
1736"Listen to me alright? You saw that didn't you, how stubborn, how super duper troublesome..."
1737
1738"Oh hey, good job with your most accurate self-introduction ever."
1739
1740"You're welco... wait I'm not talking about me. Even though I did acted the same way back there."
1741
1742Saying that, I sped up my footsteps in order to catch up with Iroha. However, the distance between did not shorten at all.
1743
1744"By the way, aren't you walking a little too fast? This is the kind of speed one uses when they're trying to get rid of this random annoying guy in front of the train station."
1745
1746"Ah, I don't need these."
1747
1748Without looking back back, Iroha replied in a low tone.
1749
1750Yup, that was cold. I guess she won't turn around even if I start shouting Vanilla Vanilla high income. So I continued to follow her footsteps.
1751
1752If my memory serves me well, Iroha should be heading to the station a mile ahead of us. Even if the trains we take go in opposite directions, we'll still have to start out at the same station.
1753
1754So I continued to step upon Iroha's shadow for quite some time.
1755
1756During this period, neither me or Iroha said a single word. Only the rustling sounds of dried leaves, the ringing sounds of the bicycles passing by, and the roaring sounds of the wind could be heard.
1757
1758It is natural for Iroha to feel so frustrated. The conversation between me and Yukinoshita never felt coordinated throughout the process, to the point that I had to declare my opposition against her. Iroha who was unaware about the competition going on in the Service Club probably felt really confused. I even promised her that I'll talk it through properly before we enter the student council, for things to result in such a way. I really felt sorry.
1759
1760I guess its better if I apologize to her huh... as I was thinking, Iroha suddenly stopped in her tracks. Standing on the small road beside a park, and under the dim lights from the two vending machines nearby, she let out a weak, frustrated breath.
1761
1762She then turned around, looking at me speechlessly. She then pointed her finger at the vending machine while remaining silent.
1763
1764Is she asking for a treat? Well, if this can change her mood for the better, then its definitely a worthwhile investment. But to look it in another way, she's also offering a peace treaty through me buying her a drink. What a nice person....
1765
1766I put some coins into the vending machine and started to choose drinks. Warm max coffee and...milk tea? No, perhaps bean soup is a better option...... or corn soup should be fine too. Eh, whatever. I then pressed on the button.
1767
1768I then handed over the drinks that I chosen at random, Max coffee on my right hand, bean soup on the other. Iroha looked at my drinks of choice and shown a sign of disgust.
1769
1770"Why does it have to be these two..."
1771
1772While complaining, probably thinking that its not nice to straight up refuse, she took the can of bean soup reluctantly. Chiba residents are surprisingly incompatible with Max coffee huh...
1773
1774She then squatted down, leaning her back onto the vending machine, took of her gloves, open up the bean soup, and took a sip. Releasing a puff of white gas in the process.
1775
1776"...So uhm, sorry."
1777
1778"For what."
1779
1780Standing beside the squatting Iroha, I opened up my can. Awaiting her reply while drinking. Iroha who seemed to have some trouble speaking out, muttered slowly.
1781
1782"If I never mentioned about the prom, perhaps things wouldn't have ended up being so conflicted."
1783
1784The way Iroha said it sounded so awkward and intriguing, that I find it funny and cute, so I accidentally looked at her in an unnatural way. Iroha then reacted by pulled her scarf over her mouth, saying "what are you looking at..." in a muffled voice. I smiled bitterly and shook my head.
1785
1786"...It has nothing to do with the prom. In fact this might be exactly what we needed."
1787
1788"Eh?"
1789
1790Iroha looked up at me looking confused. Is it because of the warmth and sweetness of the coffee? My voice sounded a lot more softer than I thought. This made me feel a little shy, so I raised my head looking towards the sky.
1791
1792"If we don't bring things to an end, we'll end up being stuck with our current situation. A destination, or specifically a goal is needed. Its not just the prom, whatever request we're taking on will turn up the same way it is right now."
1793
1794"Is that……so."
1795
1796Her weak reply made me feel concerned, as I looked back. Iroha is hugging onto her knees looking down, as if she is thinking over something. But, Iroha really shouldn't really feel sorry about it.
1797
1798Me, Yukinoshita and Yuigahama. The relationship between the three of us became distorted before we could realize it. Yes, our relationship did started out being somewhat distorted. But it has been corrected little by little as time passes, and at some point we managed to create a space that seem comfortable for the three of us.
1799
1800I am responsible for the collapse of this comfort zone. Even if there are things that I can't stand with, things that I find unnatural, but on the other hand I also ended up wishing, that things could stay the way they are, and have the days pass through as we conceal ourselves with shallow words.
1801
1802Such an unstable state, will easily collapse no matter what junctures come upon it. This time it just happened to be the prom, and Yukinoshita Haruno's interference. Iroha was simply dragged into our mess. So I should be the one to apologize.
1803
1804"I'm sorry too, for making things so chaotic."
1805
1806Hearing that, Iroha simply shrugged and answered in a lazy tone.
1807
1808"Ah... that doesn't matter actually. Like I said, as long as the prom can be held successfully, I'm fine with anything~"
1809
1810"Hmph……"
1811
1812Replied me with a similarly lazy tone, and our conversation came to a sudden halt.
1813
1814The warmth from the can in my hand is slowly fading. However, neither I or Iroha were in a hurry to finish off our drinks, as we stared quietly into the night. Perhaps the fatigue accumulated from this busy day is starting to show itself again. We might be even more busy starting tomorrow.
1815
1816I never wanted to be related to work and labor, yet before I realize it I'm already actively trying to get myself involved with the prom. In fact I was against this during the beginning, yet I got defeated by Iroha's enthusiasm. Like seriously, where did all her enthusiasm even came from?
1817
1818"...Hey, honestly speaking, why did you want to organize the prom so badly?"
1819
1820Iroha glanced at me looking surprised, then pulled herself a distance away from me step by step.
1821
1822"I mean, you never gave us an actual reason back then."
1823
1824At least she did show us her determination. But one could say that, she only conveyed her determination.
1825
1826But due to us being familiar with Iroha to an extent, just listening to her determination is enough for us to decide on helping her out.
1827
1828She talked about wanting to become Prom Queen back then in the clubroom, but that's probably not what she really had in mind. There are times where Iroha would use really shallow words, there are times where she would blow things out of proportions, there are also times where she would make silly jokes, and sometimes she would just come out with random words that popped up in her head.
1829
1830But, Iroha is also smart enough to be aware of the true nature of things. So she probably has an intent of her own with organizing the prom.
1831
1832"Well...its about that you know, the thing about Hiratsuka sensei being shifted away."
1833
1834"...You already knew that since the beginning?"
1835
1836"Well, yeah. There was this time where I was going to hand in a report, where I overheard about it through the conversation among the teachers."
1837
1838Iroha said it without paying too much attention. This girl is truly amazing. Not telling anyone else about the news after learning about it, and silently worked on the prom...
1839
1840I nodded in admiration, Iroha then said with slightly embarrassed tone.
1841
1842"It was that time where I thought that, if I don't properly send her off, that if I don't give her a proper farewell I'll definitely regret it."
1843
1844"I never knew that you felt...that way towards Hiratsuka sensei....sniff."
1845
1846I covered my mouth to hold back my sobs. Muh man, she really, really is a good person. Such a beautiful mentor pupil love...That Iroha, who gets scolded by Hiratsuka on a daily basis, and always shrugs off her comment with a poker face.... Hiratsuka sensei, your love has really reached into your students hearts...
1847
1848As I was feeling moved, Iroha silently gazed away and whispered.
1849
1850"Ah, well, yeah, I don't... to that kind of degree you know."
1851
1852"Erm? What? What did you just say?"
1853
1854But then again, this sounded more like a shitty excuse than an actual reason.
1855
1856Iroha cleared up her throat through a few light coughs, then made a really cute smile, and looked at me teasingly.
1857
1858"Well, isn't senpai the exact same kind of person? The kind of person who, will tell himself that he didn't manage to do anything, and feel regretful over it."
1859
1860"Well yeah, I guess so..."
1861
1862It is true that I'm currently feeling regretful at the moment, which made my true feelings blend into my voice, giving it a sense of solidness. Iroha then nodded in satisfaction.
1863
1864"I'm probably this type of person too."
1865
1866Her words surprised me a little. As I looked at her in confusion, Iroha made a pale, lonely smile, and looked into the distance.
1867
1868"I mean even for someone like me, I don't actually have a lot of friends, isn't so?"
1869
1870"What kind of person did think you look from the outside..."
1871
1872"Uhm hmm."
1873
1874"Please continue"
1875
1876Realizing that I've interrupted her, I nodded a few times as an apology, and allowed her to continue. Iroha gave me a cold look, and sighed deeply, she then lowered her head, playing with a small stone beside her shoes, and slowly continued to speak.
1877
1878"I only have you senpais. Which is why, I wanted to properly send of you, Yukino and Yui senpai, Hayama senpai...and even Tobe senpai and a lot of my other senpais off."
1879
1880Her intermittent words weaved themselves into a gentle sound, which made the edges of my mouth to lose tension. Boi, what an incredible kouhai that I have here. If I don't reply her with a joking manner, I might really wet my eyes before I know it.
1881
1882"Ahaha, were you always that good of a person?"
1883
1884"I'm doing this so that I won't have any regrets. It was all for myself, not for the sake of you senpais alright."
1885
1886Iroha emphasized her intent, and made a hmph sound while raising up her chest. Under the illumination of the vending machine, her slightly reddish ears were exposed among her swaying hair. I should probably pretend that I never saw that.
1887
1888To claim that all her actions were for the sake of herself, I don't necessarily dislike such an attitude.
1889
1890"...And that's why I wanted to make a prom."
1891
1892Iroha looked up into the night sky with a dreamy expression, saying out her wishes.
1893
1894"Like this, to purposely work on something troublesome, spend a lot of time, to think, to drown deep in thoughts, to the point where we feel stressful, panicked, and starting to feel tired of each other ... and finally find ourselves at peace, letting go of something we once held dear to. Is this not a refreshing way to bid farewell?"
1895
1896Looking at how Iroha raised up both of her arms with a wow, I finally understood what she was talking about.
1897
1898That process she said of is probably the path that I once walked on. Can I struggle till the end in such an unpleasant way, and willingly accept our separation?
1899
1900"... Well, it's not that hard to understand."
1901
1902"Really?"
1903
1904Asked Iroha half teasingly towards the words that went out of my mouth. Even if I knew that she was joking around, her eyes that are staring at me shone with sincerity. So, I remained silent, only showing her a faint smile.
1905
1906"If that's the case..."
1907
1908Saying that, Iroha pulled onto the my scarf and stood up. She the made a turn with her arm, and wrapped it around my neck like a gymnastic ribbon.
1909
1910"Then be a little serious."
1911
1912Even though she's still wearing a smile on her face, yet using a tone completely different from the joking sounds from just now, she rebuked me. This distance where we can feel each others white breath, and the surprise from being scolded by a girl who is younger than me, made me froze for a moment.
1913
1914
1915
1916"Ah, ah, sorry..."
1917
1918I took a few millimeters of distance away from her, and readjusted my scarf. In order to hide my surprised and blushing face ninja style.
1919
1920Seeing my reaction, Iroha sighed deeply, and then grabbed onto the corner of my scarf, playing with it.
1921
1922"If you start acting more serious, I can't get myself to feel serious too. It's a problem alright, this kind of thing. It's so annoying to think of, it's so hard to deal with, and it's so troublesome. Like very very troublesome."
1923
1924Said Iroha, as she tightens the scarf, pinching it onto my chest. After she beautifully rolled the scarf to the point no air could pass through its gaps, she gave me a neko punch across the scarf.
1925
1926"Ouch it hurts..."
1927
1928Across the soft gloves and tightly wrapped scarf, I don't feel any pain from her fist at all.
1929
1930Yet, its sensation continues to echo solidly within my chest.
1931
1932
1933
1934
1935
19363-2
1937
1938
1939
1940
1941I turned on the lights in the living room, and whispered that I have returned.
1942
1943However no one responded, only the chilly air swirls within the house.
1944
1945My parents are still at work, Komachi might have gone out too. So where's our beloved cat ... I made some thinking, and flipped up the quilt placed over the heater. Among the darkness, a pair of flashy things could be seen, my eyes lined up with that of Kamakura's, who's lying down comfortably beside our heating machine.
1946
1947Kamakura simply stared at my face, not meowing nor growling, staying motionless. Telling me through its eyes "Human, the cold air is entering, hurry up and close the kotatsu." Huh, it greets Komachi whenever Komachi she comes back, but treats me with such an attitude? Why can't he be a little more close to me, guess Kamakura doesn't like me getting near him huh... I felt uneasy with that thought, telling him "I'm back.", let go of the blanket, while turning on the switch to the heater, which tends to be turned off when no one is left in the house... Time to warm myself up...
1948
1949Since the cat already had its share of air conditioning, its time for the human to enjoy his. I pressed on the remote control, adjusting the air conditioner to greenhouse mode. Warm air then started to blow out, which made me finally feel comfortable. I untied the scarf wrapped around my neck, and took a deep breath.
1950
1951I would usually spend the next few hours laying around lazily, but I don't have that much free time to stay comfy right now.
1952
1953After taking off my coat, I lay down on the sofa. Held my phone in my hands, and started to search for information. The keywords being, prom nights.
1954
1955'I will make the prom happen,' even though I made such a solid statement, and even though me and Yukinoshita have decided on the directions we'll take on separately. I'm still lacking actual content and resources.
1956
1957First of all, I'll have to obtain as much info about proms as possible, before shortlisting the things I can do.
1958
1959After researching a certain amount of into, I paste them into the notebook, writing down my own comments and ideas, and repeat the same process.
1960
1961The information that I could find on the internet, are most probably content that Yukinoshita and Iroha have went through and taken consideration of, which makes me feel that no actual progression has been made. No matter how much information I collect, it won't be easy to come out with a proposal that could stand out more in comparison to that of Yukinoshita's.
1962
1963Yukinoshita and the others were not wrong with their direction of fixing the issues of the parents' concerns, but their plan doesn't seem to guarantee anything either. Another rejection from the parents or the school will mean that they'll have to start from scratch... urghhh... I don’t understand this~ can’t think anything~ can't find any inspiration at all~ I struggled with my brain to figure out an idea, while rolling on the sofa.
1964
1965There are less than two weeks until the graduation ceremony. If we take the actual preparation time into consideration, I'm left with two to three days' time to think of a solution. The proposal has to be done before that, its a deadline that must not be exceeded.
1966
1967No, wait a second, think about it in a more flexible mindset...
1968
1969It is true that the deadline cannot be broken, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it can't be delayed, isn't so? Ah hah, now that's how you deal with an editor flexibly! Truly well played, man am I a genius.
1970
1971Unfortunately, unlike the flyers back then, the opponent is not an editor, but a scheduled activity that will not change its date, a much stricter timetable is upon us.
1972
1973We're being forced to a desperate situation right now.
1974
1975For now, a change in perspective is necessary. This is when I have to change my point of view. As I continued to think, I rolled down from the sofa, and kept rolling until I went under the warm quilt kotatsu.
1976
1977This is definitely a very weird act from the viewpoint of an outsider, but history has proven that people who do strange things tends to lead them into new ideas, especially when they give up on caring about the views of others.
1978
1979After rolling myself under the blanket, under the dim light, Kamakura seemed shocked, and fled to the corner furthest from me, looking at me with eyes that spells "What is wrong with this guy ..."
1980
1981AHA! EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED! This is time where, even a cat's paw could be of use! If I place the ball of meat on its paw to rubs onto my eyelids, it could heal up my tired eyes, bringing my soul towards inner peace, such serene grace, leading us towards world peace, and the new series of ARMORED CORE will be released!
1982
1983Trying to get Kamakura lend me its paw, I reached out my arm towards it. Which Kamakura responded by jumping out of the stove.
1984
1985As I popped my head out of the kotatsu, not sure when exactly did she came back, my eyes lined up with that of Komachi's, who stood in front of me with a stern look.
1986
1987"...What are you doing brother?"
1988
1989As she stared at me coldly, Kamakura moved towards her feet, rubbing his face onto her feet. Komachi then kneels down, rubbing all over Kamakura's body. While maintaining her cold attitude towards me.
1990
1991"Don't roll around in your uniform, go get a change clothes first. Its wrinkled and there's sticking hair."
1992
1993"Oh, alright..."
1994
1995I answered while standing up, and began to loosen my tie while walking into my room.
1996
1997I quickly changed into my jersey and walked back into the living room. Komachi who has also changed into her casual wear could be seen walking into the kitchen.
1998
1999"Onii, have you eaten yet?"
2000
2001"Ah, no."
2002
2003"Mom prepared a pot of stew , are you okay with it?"
2004
2005"Well sure... not like there are any other choices."
2006
2007I too, walked into the kitchen, secretly looking around to see if there's anything else. But other than the bubbling contents within the clay pot, nothing else could be seen above the stove. Come to think of it, we've been having nothing else but hotpot for dinner recently ... The pitcher for noodles in the summer, and the pitcher for hotpot in the winter, the battle for the strike king title in this year is as exciting as usual.
2008
2009As I shown a displeased face, Komachi pointed at me with a ladle while placing her hand on her waist.
2010
2011"If you have a problem with it, then make your own food."
2012
2013"Alright……"
2014
2015She seemed so upright about it, that I could only nod obediently. Preparing dinner for us even when you're so busy, thank you mum and dad, very cool.
2016
2017Well, in comparison to the days where we only had plain noodles, the charm of hotpots lies in how they can come out with different trick balls, sumo pot assorted pot chicken pot spicy cabbage curry and even porridge udon and so on, which makes it just so much better. If you post such a thought on Twitter, chances are that you'll receives a bunch of trash replies like "HaNGiNG nOoDLeS ArE NoT thAt BaD! aS LoNG aS yoU pUt iN eFForT, yOu cAn COmE ouT WiTH mANy VariATiOnS toO! LOL." that shit is truly annoying, look our family cook noodles for the sake of its simplicity alright, spending effort on making variations of it is doing the exact opposite. If your reply them this way, you'll get even more dumb answers like "ThE kEY oF CooKInG DeLIciOuS nOoDLeS, oNlY rEQuiReS PlAiN NoOdLEs. CoME ovEr To MuH pLAce, I'lL ShOW yOU HoW iTS DoNe." this is just so annoying, inviting people to their place the next day just to prove that, look I have own plans too alright. This kind of person would spend a few hours talking about the different tastes of plain noodle, just eat them that way, with no other seasoning but a pinch of salt. Looking at these ingredient enthusiasts, salt enthusiasts and soup enthusiasts arguing with each other is just simply abnormal.
2018
2019When you're eating something, its just best not be disturbed by anyone, this sense of freedom is just...how do I say it, like you've been granted salvation! In other words, eating with Komachi is simply the best isn't so? Like how that one best brother has always said, Imouto Sae Ba Ii.
2020
2021I then prepared two bowls, scooped up enough rice for the both of us, and walked towards the kotatsu.
2022
2023Komachi then carefully brought the pot over. After I cleaned up the table and placed a pad on the table, she then placed the pot onto the table, while I arranged the chopsticks and small bowls.
2024
2025Komachi quickly filled up the small bowls with food and placed them in front of me.
2026
2027"Here, which one do you want?"
2028
2029"Aren't them both the same..."
2030
2031The taste shouldn't be that different ... and I'm not expert about hotpots either. But after thinking for a while, I then compared the contents in both bowls.
2032
2033One has slightly more cabbage, and the other has slightly more pork. Not too much of a difference.
2034
2035But since I was asked to choose, I'll have to decide on one of them. Like how Iroha was forced to choose between the Max coffee and bean soup just now.
2036
2037"Ah...ahhhh...so that's how it is."
2038
2039A thought came to me that made me stared at the small bowls, so Komachi picked up her head.
2040
2041"Is there anything wrong?"
2042
2043"No, nothing."
2044
2045Answering that, I took the one with more pork in it. Komachi pulled over the other small bowl to her side, and slapped her hands together.
2046
2047"Well then, itadakimasu."
2048
2049"Alright, itadakimasu."
2050
2051Me and Komachi then started eating. The taste of the soup was properly incorporated into the cabbage and pork, making them quite tasty, very nice. Huh, it’s actually not bad. Might be an extreme statement but, boys won't complain on their food as long as there's meat.
2052
2053We ate silently for some time, the sound of Kamakura munching on cat food could be heard from the far side of the kitchen.
2054
2055"By the way, you came home pretty early today."
2056
2057Its been a few days since the two of us had dinner together. I believe that today is the first time since we that day our family celebrated on Komachi passing her entrance exam. For the next few days after passing her entrance exam, Komachi has been eating dinner with her friends, and always returning home late in the night.
2058
2059Komachi listened and nodded, answering as she chewed on a cabbage:
2060
2061"Well, yeah, been pretty busy here ever since the result day."
2062
2063"What are you even working on..."
2064
2065Komachi then did some thinking, while counting on her fingers.
2066
2067"Let see...thank you for all the hard work celebration, congratulations celebration, thank you celebration, the long time no see celebration, the nice to meet you celebration...and uhhhh..."
2068
2069"How many celebrations are there exactly..."
2070
2071By the way, what the hell is a nice to meet you day... who are you even having a first meeting with... Is this sadness? Or is this courage? If this is the case, then its time to say goodbye to my tears.
2072
2073Looking at my puzzled face. Komachi, who's done counting her fingers, smiled and reached out to me with a fist.
2074
2075"Then, then, since there is no reservation today, so it's a brother's day? Ehehe, Komachi scored very high with that one!"
2076
2077"Yes...yes you did"
2078
2079So she decided to have a brother's day through exclusion method huh, well, fine by me. Having that say, this girl is truly nuts. Having so many outdoor activities being planned for a few days time, she truly has the spirit of those young people who would decide to hang out somewhere on a whim. Won't she feel tired from being high for so many days... This sounds devastating to me mental and wallet health.
2080
2081"Having too much friends is also a problem huh..."
2082
2083I said that while drinking my soup slowly. At least I can't live that way. Komachi however, doesn't seem to bothered about my statement, and answered normally.
2084
2085"It's not just the school, I have a lot of relations with your student council. We even contact each other on the SNS before entering school."
2086
2087Ah, so that's what the nice to meet you gathering was about. But really? Starting a social group before even entering school? That's some high difficulty game mode.
2088
2089"...Won't you feel awkward after entering school? For being so friendly with each other before entering school, with the chance of ending up as total strangers when you actually see them..."
2090
2091Hearing that, the chopsticks that Komachi was holding froze in midair. She then looked at me with an awkward smile and disheartened eyes.
2092
2093"You really like to talk about such unpleasant things don't you onii-chan..."
2094
2095"But that is something that might actually happen..."
2096
2097"Well... I guess you're right... but it can't be helped isn't so?"
2098
2099How dry~ Komachi superdry~ she seemed troubled just now for a moment, but immediately replied me with a smile. Such a clean direct attitude my sister has ... While I started to feel terrified with how bright my sister’s future seems to be, I suddenly remembered of something.
2100
2101"Is that Daishi guy coming too?"
2102
2103Kawasaki Daishi, the brother of Sa WhateverHerNameIs Ki, also passed his entrance exam to Sobu High a few days ago. This kid seems to have an interest towards Komachi. If that piece of shit is also present at the nice to meet you celebration, then I must eradicate this bug from getting near Komachi! As I'm having very extreme thoughts, Komachi gave me a much more extreme answer.
2104
2105"Who? Ah, yeah I think he's joining."
2106
2107"Ouch..."
2108
2109Without even looking at me, replied Komachi as she added more food into small bowl. In Komachi's heart, Daishi is just a far relative to us homo sapiens? I'm starting to feel a little sympathetic towards him being mistreated, press F to pay resp ... Nah what am I talking about, I don't care about that kid!
2110
2111
2112
2113
2114
21153-3
2116
2117
2118
2119
2120After cooking some porridge using the rest of the soup, clearing up all of its contents, our stomachs were filled up, and I sat down leisurely drinking a cup of tea.
2121
2122Komachi put Kamakura onto her lap, grooming him while humming a song, and I started scrolling on my phone while lying down.
2123
2124A direction has been determined, but it's still lacking context. Prom night, graduation party, searched through all possible keywords, yet I never came across any inspiring information, I made a deep sigh and rolled over.
2125
2126My eyesight eventually lined up with Komachi's, who is sitting in front of me. She asked me what's wrong, tilting her head with a cute smile.
2127
2128Looking at her, I remembered of something.
2129
2130"By the way... you are about to graduate soon right."
2131
2132"Yep."
2133
2134I asked her straightforwardly, which Komachi nodded while answering.
2135
2136A strong atmosphere of celebration has been going on, since everyone's attention was put onto the the fact that Komachi will be entering high school, but before that, Komachi will also have to go through her secondary school's graduation ceremony. Even if junior high school and high school might have some differences, they are both based on the concept of graduates celebrating on the new phase of life they're about to step into.
2137
2138I wonder if I can get any inspirations for the prom from her.
2139
2140"Speaking of graduation, do you have any plans?"
2141
2142"Hmm? That's a weird question."
2143
2144Komachi smiled awkwardly, but she also looked up and did some thinking.
2145
2146"Graduation... Ah, Komachi wants to go to her graduation trip."
2147
2148Answered Komachi, as if she just remembered about it. In this instant, I sprung up.
2149
2150"Yoooo, this is the first time I heard about it. What about me?"
2151
2152"Huh, of course you won't be joining us. Its not like we're travelling with our parents or your friends."
2153
2154I shook my hand towards Komachi in refusal. "No, no, nonononono, having an overnight trip is a no! I won't allo..." I tried holding back my words on my throat as I realized that I was about to say 'I won't allow it, but Komachi seems to have heard half of it, and stared at me with a cold look.
2155
2156Komachi is no longer a child after all... continuing to act like an overprotective brother might be a little too much for us. As a result, Komachi started to look impatient, let out a deep breath, and continued saying.
2157
2158"And there's the graduation party. Well, which is basically just everyone in the class having a meal together."
2159
2160"Ok..."
2161
2162I made a casual response, while secretly writing down notes on my phone.
2163
2164The graduation trip kind of a problem, but the graduation party makes sense. Every one having dinner at the nearby barbecue shop, enjoy the food while chatting, something like that. Or even, go to a better place, like the legendary first class yakiniku restaurant in Japan 'Akamon' for example. At least Akamon's the best option for people living in Chiba. People who live outside of Chiba might probably choose somewhere like 'Sengoku'.
2165
2166... But then again, when she said 'everyone' in the class, does she literally meant everyone? Like, there tends to be that one or two persons who never gets an invitation (through my observation) you know? The outlier of the class you know? Apparently I am quite familiar with this aspect you know!?
2167
2168Cough.
2169
2170Anyway, time to ask her something else.
2171
2172"So is there any other plans? An activity of some sort."
2173
2174"Oh? Activities?"
2175
2176Komachi has seemed confused with my question. But, she suddenly seemed to have remembered something, and made a loud wow.
2177
2178"...Ah, does the three-send party counts? Is that the one? I'm not quite sure actually."
2179
2180"The three-send party...ah, you meant that kind of three-send party."
2181
2182It's not a term that I'm used to, so it took me some time to figure it out, its basically what they refer to the farewell party for third year students.
2183
2184Pulling out my memories from my middle school era, in addition to the graduation ceremony, there was such an activity that I went through. Where all members of each class were forced attend, while being forced to sing a song too. Which, the boys part in our choir got commented with stuff like "The boys! Sing properly!" it was so bad, that the girl playing the piano cried and ran out, with Orimoto leading the group to go after her, and me being forced to apologize or something...ouch.
2185
2186"What do you do during that event again? I remember that you're supposed to sing a song. Graduation themed songs like kabosu I believe?"
2187
2188"And sudachi."
2189
2190"Ah, that one. There's also the song where you go, our dear mother earth~~I think?"
2191
2192"Yeah, that kind of songs. Well, but people usually sing "Praise the Land" at the graduation ceremony, there's some other performance too, what was that again..."
2193
2194Some other performance huh...... I picked up my head and suddenly a memory came to my mind.
2195
2196"Performance.... ah, is that the one where you go? Hello spring~the light of early spring~ one two, everybody!"
2197
2198Komachi then sang along.
2199
2200"One two, everybody!"
2201
2202"Graduate~"
2203
2204"Graduate!"
2205
2206We split up the boys and girls part, even the two tone pause in the middle was completely reproduced. Our stupid actions made me smile at Komachi.
2207
2208"...This kind of feeling?"
2209
2210Which Komachi responded with a smile, and then shook her head while still smiling.
2211
2212"No, it's a completely different song."
2213
2214"Eh... I even sang with all that enthusiasm..."
2215
2216If that's not the one, why did she not stop me earlier... I looked at Komachi with a look of resentment, which Komachi replied.
2217
2218"Also that's a slogan, the one we used back in our elementary school."
2219
2220"Wait, really? I have no memory of that at all. Well, I've only graduated from elementary school and secondary school. So its not like I went through a lot of graduations."
2221
2222Even though I said that, I still written about the three-send event into my notes. It might not be something that I can take reference to, but it could give me some inspiration. After all no one really knows what kind of things could give one an inspiration. So I continued to write down singing, performance, slogans and other related things.
2223
2224This kind of note-taking action works similarly to that of brainstorming. Like what president Tamakoma once said, never rush to a conclusion, and that any opinions can be considered...
2225
2226As I started to think about people that I remembered deep in my memories, immersing myself in the nostalgia, Komachi for some reason, looked at me with pitiful eyes.
2227
2228"Indeed ....Onii-chan still haven't graduated from Precure and school idols..."
2229
2230"What are you talking about, there's no graduation to those, its lifetime education. People don't just graduate from them by not watching. That's just them being a dropout, a cultural studies dropout!"
2231
2232"Onii-chan at this point you're just a repeating student..."
2233
2234In respond to my protest, Komachi gave up debating and sighed deeply.
2235
2236Ayyy that's my Komachi, she truly understands me. As I review the events that happened throughout the year, and how I still didn't manage to grow. The repeating student statement surprisingly fits me. Without realizing it, I let out a smile mixed with self-abuse.
2237
2238Seeing my expression, Komachi tilted her head in grief. But she seems to have decided to not talk further about this topic, and asked me a different question.
2239
2240"Is there no three-send ceremonies in high school?"
2241
2242"Ah, no there doesn't seem to be such a thing."
2243
2244At least for this year, there are no signs that this activity will be held. Probably because every clubs might have their very own annual party. Back then I never joined any clubs so I'm not quite sure about that. Perhaps I should ask someone else about this next time? So, on my notes, I wrote down "Chat with Totsuka❤".
2245
2246The result of my solo brainstorming brought me to a pretty good conclusion. I had a sense of satisfaction, so I put down my phone, and looked at Komachi, who lay down her head on the kotatsu.
2247
2248"Is that so... Well, I guess it makes sense that high school students won't do such an activity."
2249
2250Muttered Komachi, seemingly disappointed, she continued to hum and played with Kamakura. The melody sounded familiar, probably a classic graduation song?
2251
2252As I listened to this lonesome song, I turned off the notepad on my phone.
2253
2254"Well we don't really have a three-send activity, ... but starting from this year, we'll be doing a prom."
2255
2256I opened up the browser, and showed her the prom related web pages that I just went through, Komachi looked through the pictures and videos I showed her, and gave off a surprised expression.
2257
2258"Oh.... Wow, what is this, this is so cool! Oh my, onii-chan~...are you really gonna do this?"
2259
2260Komachi’s looked up, her eyes sparkling with strong expectations. My mouth twitched for a moment, but I managed to force a smile while nodding at her. Even though I did not make a direct statement, my reply also implied that the prom will become a reality.
2261
2262There's no proof to show her that it'll actually happen, and we're behind schedule for any preparations. In fact I don't even know how we'll work it out.
2263
2264But, the prom will happen.
2265
2266At least this one statement, is what I can be sure of.
2267
2268
2269
2270
2271
22723-4
2273
2274
2275
2276
2277Even after a night's sleep, the fatigue from yesterday continues to linger.
2278
2279After laying down inside the kotatsu for some time alongside Komachi, midnight falls, and I traveled across somewhere between reality and dreamscape, fell down on my bed, and completely snoozed off.
2280
2281When I came to my senses it was already morning, and its about time I head to school. I went out after having breakfast and changing into my school uniform, but I can't be sure if I can even make it before the class bell rings.
2282
2283Komachi seems to have slept at the same time as me, but she woke up looking energetic, and has already changed and went out earlier than me.
2284
2285As I calculated, my sleeping time should be that of an average person. But sleepiness continues to shroud over my head. Thanks to that, my feet felt heavy as I paddled on my bike.
2286
2287The gears within my brain and the gears on my bicycle don't seem to move a lot, as opposed to the needles that continued to turn on my wristwatch.
2288
2289I have to make preparations for the prom starting from today.
2290
2291There's not much time left, and the means that can be taken are limited. Even under such circumstances, I have yet to lay out a specific plan. Not to mention that there are people that I made big promises to.
2292
2293The more I think about of it, the more tired my legs felt. But after using all my strength on paddling, I finally passed through the main gate a short moment before the bell rang.
2294
2295I sped up my steps walking forward, the stairs linked towards the classrooms seemed crowded, as students who just ended their morning club activities, and students who're almost late like me rushed along.
2296
2297Among them, I noticed a slightly peach colored hair, walking so quickly, that her bag and her long scarf, and that hair bun leaped up and down along her footsteps.
2298
2299After recognizing Yuigahama, I hesitated to call her, as I was reminded of that scene from yesterday. Soon, Yuigahama came shoe closet area, and began to change into her indoor shoes.
2300
2301The moment she noticed my presence, her actions paused for a moment. Then, with a faint smile she placed her small hands over her chest, something seemed to have jiggled in my view.
2302
2303This action made me felt a slightly embarrassed, I nodded at her a few times, then pulled my scarf up and ran towards the shoe shelves in small steps.
2304
2305Yuigahama whispered to me while poking her hairbun.
2306
2307"Good morning."
2308
2309"...Morning."
2310
2311After a short moment of eye contact, I immediately shifted my line of view towards the indoor shoes that I just threw on the floor. As I pulled onto the end of shoes trying to wear them, Yuigahama waited quietly beside me.
2312
2313I knocked on the floor with the tip of my shoe, indicating that we can head over now, she nodded, and began to walk as is she's guiding the way.
2314
2315"Ahhh, that was so close, we're almost late back there."
2316
2317Saying that, Yuigahama took off her scarf, rolled it into a ball and hugs onto it. Using her usual cheery expression and tone.
2318
2319But the way Yuigahama is acting like she always does, made me feel unnatural in return, but I can only go along with her words, nodding in reply.
2320
2321Even though I'm aware that something felt off, since she is acting in her usual self, it's better not to bring up what happened yesterday, but the thought of not mentioning it made me feel dishonest. So I made sure that there were no other students nearby us, and whispered to her.
2322
2323"Were you fine yesterday?"
2324
2325"Eh?"
2326
2327I wonder if that question was said too straightforwardly that I surprised her, as she stared at me, tilting her head. But, she seemed to have remembered yesterday's events, and put her hands over her cheeks.
2328
2329"Ah, um. No problem at all! Sorry, I felt a little... ehehe, like, a little embarrassed about it... I said it before didn't I, that kind of things happen often to me."
2330
2331Anxious, shy, embarrassed, awkward, after a series of changes in her expressions, she finally let out a smile. Noticing that is her signal to end this topic, I smiled and nodded in reply. Even if something felt odd, avoid to pursue it naively, to break it down, to push it away. It might not be long, but the time we spent with each other, is enough to make finding a comfortable distance for each other a common skill between us.
2332
2333I began to climb the stairs, while Yuigahama willingly stepped in front of me, which I followed up at a slower pace. Have most students already entered their classrooms? No other people could be seen us. As we stepped onto the wide platform at the middle of the stairs, Yuigahama looked back at me from her side.
2334
2335"So what about Hikki? How did things went after that?"
2336
2337"Well... a lot of things happened. As a result I decided to intervene with the prom."
2338
2339"I see,"
2340
2341She made a smile looking relieved, then turned back and continued to move forward. I nodded while looking at her back, and said with my heavy mouth.
2342
2343"So for today... you should go back before me."
2344
2345In reality, we didn't actually make an appointment to go home together. Realizing that I acted overly self-aware by saying this, a felt of disgust emerges from the depths of my heart. As I was criticizing myself for misunderstanding things, Yuigahama nodded in reply.
2346
2347"Sure."
2348
2349Feeling that I got saved, I continued my sentence.
2350
2351"Not just today, for this period, it will be this way."
2352
2353"...Yeah, I understand. Its to help out Yukinon after all."
2354
2355Yuigahama continued to walk up the stairs step by step. We then soon reached the third floor where our classroom is located. While looking at her at half a step's distance, I pull my scarf, after getting rid of the suffocating tension over my neck, I turned my head a few times to relax myself.
2356
2357It’s better if I talk to Yuigahama about how things went yesterday. Putting aside whether she could understand it fully, its better to let her learn more about it.
2358
2359"No, actually... instead of helping her I actually ended up going against her."
2360
2361"Uhm, su....re? What??"
2362
2363Yuigahama who has been walking smoothly all the time made a sudden stop, turning her entire body around. With her mouth wide open, with her shocked and confusion being expressed throughout her whole body. Her reaction is so huge to the point it actually felt refreshing. Guess being honest about my mistake was a good idea after all.
2364
2365"Uhhh yeah, how do I say this.... She was so stubborn, that my request to help out became a no go. So I decided to oppose her. Otherwise I can't find another way to get involved."
2366
2367"Ha...ha..."
2368
2369Yuigahama started from struggling to receive the info, to slowly understanding the things that have happened, turning her confused expression into a conflicted one.
2370
2371"How do I say it... Hikki you make super clumsy decisions at times..."
2372
2373"The other way of saying that is. That I'm occasionally super smart."
2374
2375I gleefully walked past Yuigahama, raising my chest for no apparent reason, while wearing a smug smile over my face.
2376
2377As she seen my expression, I could hear that Yuigahama snorted, she then seemed to struggle for a while, and asked me.
2378
2379"Did you talk through it properly?"
2380
2381"......Can properly talking through things solve anything?"
2382
2383Its me and Yukinoshita, mind you. I added such a reminder. Yuigahama then made a deep sigh, seeming to have understood the situation.
2384
2385As expected of Yuigahama, she really understands us.
2386
2387"It can't. Which is why we agreed on having a competition. Anyway, we first have to complete the prom. Otherwise nothing else can be done.... stuff like club activities, or even thinking on how do we move on from here."
2388
2389The more I speak, the more questions that come into my mind.
2390
2391End the prom, and then what? What should I do about the service club, how do I deal with this medium that no longer operates? How do we think about our futures?
2392
2393As I continued to think, I have reached in front of our classroom.
2394
2395Yuigahama's footsteps sounded light and slow, as if she was feeling moody as we were walking, but when she was about to reach the door, she suddenly stopped. What happened, I look back and saw Yuigahama thinking through something.
2396
2397She then looked up, staring at me seriously.
2398
2399"...Can I help?"
2400
2401Yuigahama can be seen gripping tight onto the strap of her schoolbag, her eyes filled with unwavering determination. Looking at the strong expectations shown in her closed mouth and big eyes.
2402
2403Such an expression, made it impossible for me to refuse.
2404
2405
2406
2407
2408
2409Interlude 3
2410
2411
2412
2413
2414I don't get it at all.
2415
2416When I'm sitting on my seat, when I'm chatting with the others, when the lesson bell rings, even when the class begun, I have been thinking about the same thing all this time.
2417
2418To the point that I confused myself. Telling myself that this is fine, that things should end this way, to the point that my tears are falling down. I just don't get this this at all.
2419
2420But...yeah. That's the kind of people they are, the kind of people who look smart on the outside, even if they are actually clumsier than they thought.
2421
2422Repeating the same way of doing things, to the point that none of us could realize that a different option exists. To oppose each other, to compete with each other, without creating such a reason, neither of them could get closer to each other.
2423
2424An excuse made to convince themselves.
2425
2426Whoever wins the competition will have the right to order the other to fulfill a wish.
2427
2428Her wish was probably decided ever since the beginning.
2429
2430A wish that has the same nature, yet with a completely opposite intent from mine. Two wishes that are so similar, yet so different.
2431
2432There is only one way to fulfill that wish of hers.
2433
2434But, that definitely shouldn't happen.
2435
2436No matter how, if they end up going back to being complete strangers, then nothing can bring them back together.
2437
2438......But even this, is probably just a statement used to escape reality.
2439
2440The words on the blackboard are being wiped off before I could copy any of it, and we have reached the next page of the textbook before I realized it.
2441
2442People seemed to be chattering within the class yet I can't hear any of those voices, only the scrubbing sounds of chalk and pencils, and a soft sigh near me echoed into my ears.
2443
2444The instant I diverted my sight of view, a familiar person enters the scenery.
2445
2446A head being supported by a left hand, a pair of eyelids that are about to close, the remaining right hand that spins a pen delicately between its fingers, the head then lowers down a bit, seemingly deciding on reading the textbook on the table...But, a sense of fatigue seems to linger about, as it struggles very hard not to daze off during the class, this action has been repeating throughout the whole day.
2447
2448I can still see him, we can still see each other.
2449
2450Even if we ended up moving to a different class, even if it ends up going unnoticed, even if no one becomes aware of it, even after understanding each other thoroughly, things will only be the way it has always been.
2451
2452Which is why I have to hide away these feelings, seal them within the depths, and put up my best smile possible.
2453
2454Such a sly, disgusting person.
2455
2456
2457
2458
2459
2460Chapter 4: Once again, Hikigaya Hachiman elaborates
2461
2462
2463
2464
2465The classroom is filled with noises after school.
2466
2467During class, I was thinking while occasionally snoozing, but for now I'll put that matter aside, I began to pack my stuff getting ready to go home, put on my coat, wrapped up my scarf, and stood up carrying my empty bag.
2468
2469My first targeted location is at the back of the classroom, the corner next to the windows. It has been a while since the bell rang, most students have already left the classroom, while a small group of people stayed back, gathering at that corner.
2470
2471In the center of group sat our queen, who's pulling onto her blonde straight-rolled hair, while tapping her phone with her nails. Standing next her is Ebina san and Yuigahama who's back could be seen in my direction. While Hayama and the three animals are getting ready to leave for club activities, standing against the window.
2472
2473They seemed pretty immersed in their enjoyment of freedom after school, chatting happily among each other. I had no choice but to interrupt them.
2474
2475To be fair, attempting to slot myself into their conversation felt like a huge pain. Its already taking me a lot of perseverance to even approach them, and there's just no way I can get myself to speak to them at all.
2476
2477But right now, I'm taking the position of requesting help from Yuigahama. So it should be me to take the initiative. Waiting on my seat until Yuigahama to come over is a really disgraceful act. For example, during the break time of an anime voice recording session, the kind of light novel author who would deliberately sit at the middle of the hall of the recording studio, and wait for the voice actors to approach him, truly a disgraceful act.
2478
2479Then again I'm already a disgrace myself, but even a disgraceful person should know when to push themselves harder. So, right now is the time I take courage to move forward.
2480
2481Slowly and slowly... one step two step... approach them as slow as a Kyogenshi (Ref 1: 'Mad singing', one of the two formats for Japan's Noh dramas). Is it because I'm walking too slow? Miura and the others didn't seem to be too bothered, talking about their plans on where to hang out next time. My tempo is so slow, that I feel like that I can release a Motoya hand knife in mid air. (Ref 2: Izumi Motoya, originally a Kyogenshi, who then participated in pro wrestling exhibition matches, he once used a trick where he jumped onto the other side of his opponent, striking him with a strong hand knife before even landing onto the ground, also known as the 'Motoya midair hand knife', yeah I spent 15 minutes on this reference)
2482
2483Approaching millimeter by millimeter, quietly stepping until I'm directly behind Yuigahama, I then made a light cough.
2484
2485"...I'm about to leave, should we."
2486
2487"Ah, sure. I will be going too."
2488
2489Replied Yuigahama with a plain tone as she looked back. Who then picked up her bag and waved at Miura and the others.
2490
2491"See you tomorrow."
2492
2493"Ok."
2494
2495"Bye bye."
2496
2497Miura nodded without seeming too bothered, while Ebina smiled and waved.
2498
2499Two of the three animals looked at each other in shock, and the remaining animal went "Eh? What? YO!?" while looking towards us multiple times. Truly a gang made of annoying species.
2500
2501Hayama then glanced a little, showing an incredibly warm smile.
2502
2503What's the hell, this is just super embarrassing and tiring, this is the kind of situation that makes people want to go commit die...
2504
2505Looking back, the odd sensation still seems to be lingering within the atmosphere, I then sped up to leave the classroom. Pulling up my scarf without forgetting to cover up my face.
2506
2507I slowed down after entering the corridor, Yuigahama who also rushed out of the classroom walked beside me, saying with strong intensity.
2508
2509"By the way what was that for! Can't you just approach us in a more normal way? Getting close thissss slowly is very scary alright! You actually scared me for a moment."
2510
2511"Well, it can't be helped ...... I was super nervous back there..."
2512
2513The process of approaching them used up almost all of my strength, that now I could only make a low exhausted voice.
2514
2515Yuigahama let out a breath of dissatisfaction, but then gave me a troubled smile.
2516
2517We walked shoulder to shoulder until we reach a corner, the special block is to our left, and to our right side is the stairs.
2518
2519"So what do we do next."
2520
2521"Ah... right, we'll have to decide what we should work on... For now, lets get a place where we can talk about it."
2522
2523"Sure, how about Saizeriya?"
2524
2525"Alright, let's go."
2526
2527Even though there is the choice of using the service club room, neither me nor Yuigahama mentioned it. Not because we've forgotten, but its because that place can now be ignored. I believe that Yuigahama's reasoning behind it is similar to mine.
2528
2529That place can only be established under her presence.
2530
2531Which is why we'll probably never, enter that room again.
2532
2533
2534
2535
2536
25374-2
2538
2539
2540We walked for a while after leaving school.
2541
2542
2543
2544As we reached Saizeriya located in front of the station, we immediately ordered two self-service drink counters as we sat down, then walked towards the drink counter to get our drinks, taking a break as we drink up through straws. I originally planned to order something like spicy Milanese rice, chicken wings, or pasta. But today we aren't actually here to eat, so getting a drink is enough for now.
2545
2546When I was having such a thought, Yuuigahama has already opened up the menu.
2547
2548"I'm feeling a little hungry right now. What about hikki? You want some food too?"
2549
2550Yuigahama sat at the middle of the quadruple seat in front of me, leaning forward, looking through the menu left and right seeming busy. Time to time I could sense something flashy swaying across the table, please don't do this any longer. Ah right, I already eaten lunch just now...
2551
2552"By the way, what do you usually have for lunch?"
2553
2554The moment right after I asked the question, Yuigahama's hands that was moving across the menu stopped its movement. She then let go of the menu, and leaned her back onto the chair.
2555
2556"...Just your regular food...why did you ask that."
2557
2558As she whispered super softly, Yuigahama swiftly turned her head to the side, twisting her body while trying to make it look not obvious. I can feel her struggling to shrink down her belly to make herself look slimmer... Which ended up emphasizing her good body instead! I looked away while making light coughs.
2559
2560"No, that's not what I'm trying to say? I mean don't you always had lunch in the club room? So how do you deal with it recently."
2561
2562"Ah, so that what you're trying to ask..."
2563
2564Yuigahama exhaled looking relieved. Then, she took some time thinking about it silently, and answered slowly.
2565
2566"Yukinon said for this period, she plans to eat while working in the student council room. So I have been eating with Yumiko and the others for the past few days... and usually the same after school."
2567
2568"I see."
2569
2570Yuigahama nodded after hearing my short reply, turning the straw placed in her glass.
2571
2572Yuigahama and Yukinoshita have been spending time with each other for almost every lunch break and after school sessions. And before Yukinoshita returned to her family's house, Yuigahama also tends to hang out with Yukinoshita in her unit, so they probably also spent most of their nights and holidays together. But even since the prom thing happened, Yukinoshita began to focus on her job more, so they probably won't have such an opportunity for the time being.
2573
2574How will things continue to develop? After the prom, as we entered the next year, will they still be spending time with each other?
2575
2576"... Well, for now lets focus on completing the prom."
2577
2578In attempt to interrupt myself from thinking further, I brought up a different topic, and drank up all of the remaining ice coffee. Even though I put in quite an amount of milk and gum molasses, it still felt bitter.
2579
2580Yuigahama looked downwards at the glass she is holding, biting onto her straw. After taking a sip, she nodded heavily.
2581
2582"So what plans do you have?"
2583
2584As she looked back up, Yuigahama has already went back to her cheery expression. Which made me remember how our conversation usually felt. I began to talk about the things that I've been considering last night, while holding onto the back of my neck.
2585
2586"So, although I've been thinking on it for a long time, but it seems that just organizing an ordinary prom is a very risky idea. For a proposal that has already been criticized once usually own't be approved."
2587
2588Up until now, referring back to my experience with the proposing sessions like the cultural festival, the Christmas event and some other events, these experiences tell me that the prom is in a very severe situation.
2589
2590The other events that we have been involved with were built under the condition where they're already approved, and discuss on how to improve things. But right now the parents simply demanded the organizers to completely cancel the prom instead of improving it.
2591
2592It doesn't matter how many times the proposal gets revised, as long as the core concept of a prom exists, its safe to say that they won't change their view on the event.
2593
2594Most importantly, the fact that the event has already been disapproved once will become our biggest obstacle.
2595
2596A proposal that has been marked as a failure, can't get rid of such an image that easily, thanks to that, presenting improvements to it won't necessarily make them give a positive feedback.
2597
2598The bad impression the public have towards proms, and the fact that this proposal has already been rejected before, will cause them to view it with a biased attitude. Which is why fixing the core problems the event has is ironically not the best solution.
2599
2600I bit onto the straw, sort out my thoughts, and presented my conclusion.
2601
2602"...Which is why, a new bias is needed."
2603
2604Yuigahama opened up her mouth and slowly muttered.
2605
2606"Bias... ah! Vibes?"
2607
2608"No."
2609
2610Why are you showing me that "I got it!" "Hey I totally know that!" kind of expression? It’s totally wrong, 'bias' has nothing to do with 'vibes'. Guess its better to explain the term to her.
2611
2612"Bias is uhm...think about propensity or prejudice.... it means that one is viewing something with a false image under the influence ​of ​a generalized thought process. Well, yeah, something like that."
2613
2614"Hngh......?"
2615
2616Answered Yuigahama who ended up picking her head. Why does it seem like she doesn't understand it... Well, I don't particularly remember its actual definition either. I just need to let Yuigahama understand it.
2617
2618But what I really need her to understand is what I'll be talking about next.
2619
2620"So basically, in order to change their bias, we need to come up with a proposal that is visually different from the prom Yukinoshita and the others are working on."
2621
2622After hearing that, Yuigahama's mouth seemed to opened up even wider. And, eventually looking at me with a suspicious look.
2623
2624"...But why?"
2625
2626"Right now the idea of a prom itself is considered an absolute evil. But what will happen when a much more vicious presence appears in front of them? This will make the previous prom proposal look much better in comparison right?"
2627
2628"I... see?"
2629
2630Even though she said that, Yuigahama still seemed conflicted on the idea. Even the way she said her agreement has turned into a question.
2631
2632How to explain it better... as I started thinking, Saizeriya's menu happened to flash across my eyes, I then opened up the menu and flipped to its last page. Where there are various choices of dessert written on it.
2633
2634"...Sugar makes people fat. So it's a better idea not to have ice cream and desserts right?"
2635
2636"Well, yeah, why did you ask that all of a sudden..."
2637
2638Yuigahama grunted while twisting her body, turning her unhappy face away.
2639
2640"But if you add on a new choice of ice creams that comes with half of their original calorific value, you might end up trying it, right?"
2641
2642"Well yeah, I'll probably eat two of them..."
2643
2644"No what the f... Well, that's basically it."
2645
2646Yuigahama seemed very attracted to the pictures on the menu, that I had to make a cough before going back to our topic.
2647
2648"So the plan here is to come up with a plan that will be abandoned. Choose one out of two, make the parents feel that they can't refuse on making a choice between them. Propose the sacrificial plan, have them abandon the sacrificial plan, which in return means the approval of the main proposal."
2649
2650The current situation is, that they only have the choice to approve or reject the proposal for prom proposal A.
2651
2652However, if we propose a prom proposal B, the parents will end up having this mentality that're selecting between Plan A and Plan B. Excluding 'rejecting the prom' from their selection list as a result.
2653
2654"Ah... so that's what you meant. So Yukinon and Isshiki-chan's prom will be the ice cream with half the calories."
2655
2656Yuigahama nodded in confirmation, but the nodding soon stopped and she suddenly looked up at me.
2657
2658"But if they already demanded to cancel the prom, wouldn't they just reject both proposals anyway?"
2659
2660"Yeah about that...."
2661
2662Hearing this, I slapped onto my forehead.
2663
2664What Yuigahama just pointed out is the weakness of such a strategy. Even though Yuigahama is an idiot, but her brain isn't actually bad at all. Still an idiot though.
2665
2666This strategy tends to work well against hesitant opponents. But in our case the opponent has already came to a conclusion, so making them choose between the two options won't be as effective as it seems.
2667
2668So, even though I'm adding this statement quite late, it is necessary to let her understand that we have another prerequisite.
2669
2670"...Actually, that shouldn't be a problem."
2671
2672Listening to that, Yuigahama picked her head aside again.
2673
2674“Our school actually has no intention to cancel the prom. Otherwise they wouldn't have used the saying of self restraint. Our school was well known for its respect towards the autonomy of its students, in fact it was even used as our school motto.”
2675
2676"Ah, yes... considering that so many events were held before..."
2677
2678A slight sense of doubt still lies within Yuigahama's tone, but she still tried her best to agree with me.
2679
2680Taking our school motto into consideration does seem unreliable. But like what Yuigahama said, our students did organize a lot of large events like the Christmas party. Which none of these were rejected by the school, which means that the school authorities have always intended to let their students organize activities with no strings attached. Hiratsuka sensei herself even mentioned that the school originally did not think that there are any problems with organizing a prom.
2681
2682"The school still needs to care for their reputation after all. If they straight up shut down the prom, they'll look ugly if the word got spread out. So, if Yukinoshita can come up with a safer proposal, it shouldn't be hard to make the school our supporter. We'll have to count on Hiratsuka sensei regarding that."
2683
2684"Mhm."
2685
2686After listening to me, Yuigahama nodded seeming assured.
2687
2688Actually, now that Hiratsuka successfully obtained their verbal promise of “apply self restraint”. So as long as we can come up with the second option, Hiratsuka sensei who's now backed up by the school's statement should have a certain level of right of speech and influence over the parents' choices. Which means that we can have a positive outlook over the school's possible actions.
2689
2690The other big problem here is the negotiation with the parents. The more I think about it the more it feels depressing, to the point that I ended up biting onto my straw.
2691
2692"And then there's, the parents... Specifically, the more vocal ones ... If we put down our gesture, show them the options we're providing, and eventually lead them into thinking that they're choosing out of their own will, it should please them enough to make them stop complaining..."
2693
2694In most occasions, people who complains the loudest have no interest with debating over the content of the subject, but simply seek for victory against their opponents. Therefore, as long we make the other party come to this impression of "it was I who decided, it was I who changed their actions, it was I who made them apologize" , endure their criticisms and complaints, then things should end up with a good note.
2695
2696No, to be honest this doesn't feel convincing.
2697
2698This time it was me who picked up my head.
2699
2700"...That's what I think, what about you?"
2701
2702While sighing, I started to think about Yukinoshita's mother.
2703
2704The fact that the people who came over to the school weren't the parents who had doubts with the prom, but Yukinoshita's mother instead made me see a ray of hope. After all, her role was a mere messenger. Her speech could either be seen as that from the member of the parent council, or the words from the wife of a local authority. At least that's my impression towards her original rhetoric.
2705
2706But then again, as expected from the mother of the Yukinoshita sisters, the longer the conversation went on, the stronger the arguments she presented, to the point that even we got sold with her sayings.
2707
2708That mother, also likes to talk over things. She also followed up with Iroha's counter arguments without looking bored. No, instead of saying that she enjoyed the conversation itself, what she really enjoys is defeating her opposition.
2709
2710In this case, it's hard to say whether Yukinoshita's mother will simply give up arguing or not.
2711
2712Which means we'll also need to prepare something to deal with her... Please don't be like that, I really don't want to be involved with her, Mrs Yukinoshita is just too terrifying, for real...
2713
2714So for the time being, these are what I managed to come up with.
2715
2716“So basically, we'll show them that we have the right to forcefully execute the event, while trying to convince them into our controllable options.”
2717
2718I spat out the straw in my mouth that has been wrinkled into a ball, and presented my conclusion. Yuigahama then gleefully smiled at me in admiration.
2719
2720"Wow...Hikki you should be doing this kind of job in the future! Some complaint correspondent kind of profession! It really suits you!"
2721
2722"Absolutely no... that's not how it works, and I don't plan to get a job either."
2723
2724I can't find myself to feel happy about this statement even in front of her sparkling eyes, and unconsciously revealed a disgusted expression. Yuigahama however continued to smile happily.
2725
2726No, I'm really not suitable for this? Also to deal with complaints through such an approach as an employee, will definitely get me fired. My plan would only work due to the unique environment of the school and my position as an unemployed person.
2727
2728Not to mention that, there is already a standard reply to deal with most complaints.
2729
2730Its simple, just blame our boss! Or just transfer their calls to the customer service and have the professionals deal with them.
2731
2732"Well, we haven't actually started any actual work too. So up next we'll have to deal with the real troublesome stuff."
2733
2734"What do you mean..."
2735
2736Listening to that I sighed deeply, crossed my fingers, leaned my body slightly forward, and lowered my head to make a Gendo pose (Ref 3: The signature pose of commander Ikari from EVA), and said in a deep tone.
2737
2738"We still have to make preparations for the sacrificial plan. It needs to a look like that actual effort has been put in and has a realistic sense to it in the view of outsiders. Otherwise, it won't even qualify as an option."
2739
2740"Ah, so that's how it is..."
2741
2742Yuigamaha seemed to have moved slightly backwards. So I moved up a little forward as if I'm chasing after her.
2743
2744"Which means that we're short of people and time. Also, we have no budget at all."
2745
2746"So what resources do we actually have..."
2747
2748As Yuigahama asked back with a troubled smile. I made a shallow smirk.
2749
2750"Introducing, the beings who have too much free time, requires no salary in return of them working for us......Our school's students! They're completely free and always ready to be used."
2751
2752"This is too shady!"
2753
2754Yuigahama shouted out while grabbing onto her head.
2755
2756But right now, it is true that if we don’t recruit the most professional talents in our school and squeeze out every ounce of their efforts, there will be no other way for us to make a comeback. This is Sobu High's newly revised labor system, a system that turns the most professional experts into slave... (Ref 4: Japan introduced a new standard to their labor system some time ago, employees of the higher hierarchy will no longer have an allowable limit to their overtime hours, and working overtime will no longer get them paid... Man they actually approved this.)
2757
2758Yuigahama who sunk into her seat seeming discouraged, looked up at me through the gaps of her bangs.
2759
2760"But, for such a plan that was never meant to be approved, can we even find anyone that are willing to help?"
2761
2762"You're right..."
2763
2764As I replied, I too looked up at the ceiling.
2765
2766Like she said, it wouldn't be this difficult to recruit people if we're actually trying to organize an ideal prom, after all no one would like to become a sacrificial Yamcha. Only the most foolish of all fools, the nicest of all nice people, or high end eccentrics would be interested with working for such a thing.
2767
2768Unfortunately we'll have to give up on direct recruitment. Which also means that the methods we could use are limited.
2769
2770"I'll try not to disclose about our true purpose, and try convincing them as much as possible... As long as we avoid ending up with a financial deficit, and properly apologizing to them after that, yeah, things should be fi..."
2771
2772If pleading for mercy could solve the problem the it won't be an issue, I crossed my arms, and did some thinking, suddenly I could hear a short sigh that sounded as if it was being contained.
2773
2774As I looked up, Yuigahama could be seen biting onto her lips while slowly shaking her lowered head. She didn't say anything, but that is enough to convey her thoughts.
2775
2776I shouldn't have said that without proper consideration. This is a mistake that I have repeated so many times.
2777
2778I took a deep breath. And started to convince myself.
2779
2780"...No, lets try and talk to them properly. They might not understand us, but for now lets seek out people that we're familiar with."
2781
2782"Ok."
2783
2784Yuigahama nodded and answered with a smile.
2785
2786The situation we're in right now is a product of my mistakes.
2787
2788Which is why, I should at least avoid make the same mistakes over and over.
2789
2790A method different from what I've used in the past, a fundamentally different one, I have to find it.
2791
2792
2793
2794
2795
27964-3
2797
2798
2799
2800
2801After contacting the people who we could think of, time flowed through leisurely. The scenery seen from Saize's window will soon dyed with twilight, although its still far from the peak hour for leaving work, pedestrians could already be seen flooding into the train station.
2802
2803
2804
2805After receiving replies from the people I asked to meet up with, we waited for them to come. During this period we decided to have an early dinner.
2806
2807Yuigahama could be seen brawling with the pizza in front of her, whenever she says a 'gambateh', an eerie noise could be heard right after. Is she bad at using this round pizza cutter. Lots of screeching sounds could be heard as the toothed blade clashes fiercely against the pan.
2808
2809Is she finally done? Yuigahama sighed and handed over a piece of pizza that has this weird shape that I can't describe of.
2810
2811"For you, Hikki."
2812
2813"Uhm, thank you."
2814
2815But then again I won't make unnecessary remarks towards the shape of the pizza. I'm not in a position to complain after having someone else cut for me, and Saize's pizza is good no matter what shape or size.
2816
2817"Do you want some chili sauce?"
2818
2819"Ah, yes. Thank you."
2820
2821I picked up the bottle of chili sauce placed on the center of the table, squeezed it for two to three times, and then munched on the pizza that now tastes even better.
2822
2823After a while, the side dishes, Doria rice, pasta and salad were served. Then'll be another meat dish coming up soon. This set meal felt more sumptuous than I imagined, I should inform Komachi that I won't be having dinner when I come home later.
2824
2825While I pressed onto my phone, Yuigahama used her fork and knife like a pair of chopsticks, asking me while picking up food.
2826
2827"Do you want any salad?"
2828
2829"Just a bit, no tomatoes. And uhhh, you can take all the prawns. I'll be full with the meat only."
2830
2831"Really!? That's great! By the way eat some tomatoes too, its not good to be picky with food."
2832
2833"Ah, its not that, I just tend to feel uncomfortable every time I eat tomatoes, I can't stand its slimy texture."
2834
2835"Eh... but that's what make them taste good."
2836
2837Seeming to be more skillful at separating salad as compared to cutting pizza, Yuigahama swiftly took out my share and arranged them on my plate. I nodded to express my gratitude, took it over and thanked her before eating.
2838
2839Though... the lettuce is covered with the sticky juice of the tomatoes...I shoved it into my mouth with my eyes closed, and swallowed it almost instantly without even chewing.
2840
2841Aha, now there shouldn't be any other vegetables with tomato essence stuck on them... As I opened up my eyes, Yuigahama could be seen placing her hands over her cheeks, happily looking at me.
2842
2843"You look just like a child."
2844
2845She gleefully made that comment as if she's teasing me, she then switched over into a more mature smile. This girl who was supposed to be at the same age as mine, for some reason looked at me in a way that resembles an older sister, my eyes felt uneasy, looking left and right.
2846
2847But as I shifted my line of view towards every direction, her gorgeous tea colored hair that shines like an angel's halo, her big watery eyes, the concave spot on her collarbone, her fingertips that tapped onto the ends of her hair, the lifted corners of her mouth and those glittering lips, her long eyelashes that look like a soft artistic curve, and even her slightly blushed soft cheeks, everything that enters my view is just so captivating.
2848
2849"S...some adults dislike tomatoes too..."
2850
2851Apparently Hiratsuka-sensei hates tomatoes too ... after saying this, I lowered my head. Is this me feeling shy or embarrassed? Either way, I can't look directly onto Yuigahama's face.
2852
2853I looked up and turned my head towards the air conditioner with a "Speaking of which ~ did this shop set their air conditioner a little too strong?" kind of look, and let a out a long breath.
2854
2855Soon after, a familiar large figure appeared in the distance.
2856
2857Wearing a trench coat, leather gloves and glasses. It wouldn't look weird for the current season, but the way he looks around while standing at the entrance, makes him look super suspicious. The way he's acting so suspiciously however is what made him easier to recognize, Zaimokuza Yoshiteru, the self proclaimed kengo.
2858
2859As Zaimokuza noticed me raising my hand, the uneasiness expression on his face turned into cheerful one, marching while waving towards us. Like a wild grizzly bear who got tamed all of a sudden...
2860
2861For some reason Yuigahama stood up holding onto her bag, and moved over to my seat.
2862
2863"Ahem."
2864
2865"Huh?"
2866
2867I took over her bag, as she heard my confused reaction, Yuigahama said with a displeased face.
2868
2869"Move over a little."
2870
2871"Ah, sure..."
2872
2873After I moved inside, leaving out some space, she then sat down directly.
2874
2875Why...? Is it that hard to sit beside Zaimokuza? But then again, I don't really like Zaimokuza sitting sit next to me either, ...but aren't you sitting a little too close to me? I'm feeling super nervous all of a sudden!
2876
2877"Hachiman, for what cause did you summon me here."
2878
2879After making a deep breath, Zaimokuza made two unnecessarily loud coughs, and sat in front of me.
2880
2881The way Zaimokuza's acting like his usual self made me felt a sense of relief.
2882
2883Alright, calm down. Keep my breath going.
2884
2885"For now lets wait for everyone else to come. For the time being, spot the differences."
2886
2887I handed over the children's men to Zaimokuza. The front cover and end cover of this children's menu seemed like they have the same painting, but in fact there are some differences between them. Its a strategy to make children stay quiet by letting them find out these differences while waiting for their food, which makes this menu a popular feature.
2888
2889"Oh!...This looks kinda difficult."
2890
2891Zaimokuza immediately started to work on it as he took over the menu. Such a casual treatment feels pretty nice, and really comfortable... Before I realize it my face has now soften and a random idea came to my mind.
2892
2893"Bruh, if we are still single by the age of 70, lets live together at a nursing home shall we."
2894
2895"What this, some new proposal tactic? I'm pretty confident that we could buy a single men only kind of apartment unit. We can uhhh, watch anime and play table games together every day."
2896
2897Zaimokuza didn't even bat an eye, staying focused on the menu, while answering me casually.
2898
2899Yuigahama whispered "The fu...", sounding pretty disgusted by our conversation.
2900
2901I felt my phone vibrating. Probably the other person that I contacted, Saika Totsuka. As I was about to pick up the call, he has already arrived.
2902
2903"Hachiman."
2904
2905Is it because we're in a public area? He called out my name in a lower tone than usual.
2906
2907As I looked up, Totsuka walked over while carrying a tennis bag is coming. Wearing a coat over his usual sportswear, and his neck is covered with what seems to be a hand-woven muffler. Did he rushed here right after his club activity ended? His clothes look scattered, and his breathing sounded rapid, and his cheeks look pretty red. This felt refreshing, and I laughed unconsciously as I raise up my arm.
2908
2909My smile froze instant.
2910
2911Standing behind Totsuka, a familiar black blueish ponytail could be seen swaying. Wearing a black coat and checkered scarf, those daringly uncovered long legs, and also the big shopping bags that look incompatible with these clothing. Seeming unhappy yet trying her best to cover it up by showing a casual expression, Kawasomething nodded at us. Which I too nodded in response.
2912
2913I then immediately whispered into Yuigahama's ear.
2914
2915"Didn't I tell you to invite someone who easy to communicate with?"
2916
2917"And you invite chuuni here!"
2918
2919Complained Yuigahama with a pouting face while keeping her voice down. But its not like I can do anything about this situation.
2920
2921"Well, yeah, this erm, um, well, it’s true that they're hard to communicate with but..."
2922
2923... But really, for my case, there's actually not a lot of people who I can talk to isn't it?
2924
2925Zaimokuza, Totsuka and even Kawasaki however are people we're actually familiar with, which makes them easier to talk to. If its someone like Miura for example, I definitely can't get myself to say anything in front of them.
2926
2927Totsuka walked over in small steps and sat down lightly beside Zaimokuza, while Kawasaki pulled over a chair down to sit, crossing her legs, facing us sideways.
2928
2929"Saki chan and Saika chan, thank you for coming. Do you want something to eat?"
2930
2931Yuigahama handed them the menu, Totsuka then replied with a shy smile.
2932
2933"Yeah, I would like to... feeling a bit hungry after club activities."
2934
2935"I'll pass... a cup of drink is enough."
2936
2937Kawasaki replied briefly. She probably has to go home and prepare dinner, and only decided to join in since she was on the way to pick up her sister Keika. Its better not to waste too much of her time.
2938
2939I'll begin once Totsuka comes back ... Come to think of it, we haven't ask Zaimokuza if he wants to eat anything? As I looked towards him, Zaimokuza is still staring at the children's menu.
2940
2941"Nghhhh, there are still seven differences that can't be found..."
2942
2943Seriously dude, there's only 10 differences in the menu.
2944
2945
2946
2947
2948
29494-4
2950
2951
2952
2953
2954As I stared at Totsuka roll up the pasta and sending it into his mouth, after he seems to be done chewing, I began to talk.
2955
2956
2957
2958"First of all, I would like to apologize for calling you out so suddenly, and thank you all for coming, thank you very much."
2959
2960I bowed down my head and thanked them sincerely. Argh its feels embarrassing to act so earnest, that I'm afraid to look up into the expressions of these three people, so I continued to lower my head for a while.
2961
2962Then, a satisfying "ohoho" sound, the gentle sensation of someone nodding, and a soft troubled sigh could be felt in the air, alongside the happy, relieved sensation travelling into my ears. Knowing which reactions were whose, it no longer make sense for me to continue bowing.
2963
2964After making two coughs to drive of my shyness, I continued saying.
2965
2966"I have an unfortunate news to tell you all."
2967
2968"Ok."
2969
2970Zaimokuza adjusted his posture, showing me an unnecessary "I'm listening" kind of expression, Totsuka sat nervously while setting his back straight, and Kawasaki is still leaning her head aside with a tired face.
2971
2972"Do you guys know about the school prom?"
2973
2974"Huh, no I don't, but I will now."
2975
2976As he answered Zaimokuza took out his mobile phone. Searching on something after being asked about it, for an otaku this guy is actually pretty impressive. I was expecting him to ask me back on what's the prom about, and I was prepared to answer him "Just Google it, see this rectangular device thingy in front of you? Use it. I mean, DoN't YoU GuYS HaVe pHonES? " instead he just saved me the trouble.
2977
2978I'm guessing that Zaimokuza is done researching about proms, as he is now showing a disgusted and wretched face while staring at his phone.
2979
2980"Erggg... what is this, the kind of activity that only exists to satisfy the vile desires of normies, giving them nothing but a short term of happiness!? And those goddang chads will use this experience as something to brag on to their normie community once they enter university and be like 'Yooooo we organized a prom during high school, see how lit we are fam?' to brag themselves showing people how
2981
2982cool their high school life was, alter a few details here and there, those sociable bastards..."
2983
2984Zaimokuza slammed his phone onto the table, Totsuka took a peek on its contents, looking intrigued. Kawawhatshername didn’t say anything like “can I have a look”, but the way she glanced over seems to be telling me that.
2985
2986"This prom will be organized in our school... but we decided to oppose it."
2987
2988Just as I finished my sentence, Zaimokuza made a loud slap onto his knee and said.
2989
2990"Which means that we're the anti-prom group right!?"
2991
2992"... Well, something like that."
2993
2994"Yes! We're the anti-prom bois!"
2995
2996Did you made that term up when you were searching on it just now... Please don't use some random term you came up with so confidently... Seeing how agitated Zaimokuza's acting, the volume of my voice suddenly went down a few levels.
2997
2998"Well...that's...erm, yeah, that's kinda what we're doing."
2999
3000"What!? No!?"
3001
3002Yuigahama shouted at me with a shocked face. It’s loud, she shouted really loud. Both of your voices are seriously loud. And can you please not turn around, I could almost feel something grazing over my elbow. Also please stop shaking my limb.
3003
3004What's going on here! ? As I was being shaken, I looked around the shop. Fortunately, there isn't a lot of people in here. Now that the tables nearby ours are still empty. I should probably discuss about it with Yuigahama in private...
3005
3006"Sorry, can you give us a minute?"
3007
3008"Take your time."
3009
3010After receiving Zaimokuza's permission, I turned over to Yuigahama. Then lift up my hands up to the chest, making a push-out hand gesture. Seeing my signal, Yuigahama unwillingly stood up.
3011
3012I too stood up, after making a brief apologize to Totsuka and Kawasaki, I led Yuigahama to a different table.
3013
3014Yuigahama looked at me full of suspicion, and grabbed onto my shoulder as soon as we sat down, she said quietly.
3015
3016"What was that about? We are going to organize a prom right?"
3017
3018"Yes yes. That is this plan.... But, its kinda hard to say it out now, you saw Zaimo's reaction just now didn't you... Its hard to explain it to him without making his mood down."
3019
3020As I glanced over, Zaimokuza could be seen blabbering over negative rumours about proms. Totsuka who was just nodding obediently and Kawasaki who's completely ignoring them. Its like I'm looking at these three strangers just happened to be drinking together at the bar.
3021
3022Eyebrows raised, Yuigahama said her voice down.
3023
3024"Eh.... But it’s definitely not appropriate to not tell them truth."
3025
3026"Yeah I'll tell them... But if anything goes wrong, do help me out a little. Please."
3027
3028I closed my palms together and lowered my head. Yuigahama then let out a troubled sigh.
3029
3030"... It can't be helped then."
3031
3032Yuigahama smiled as she was standing up. I too stood up and walked towards our original seats.
3033
3034
3035
3036Did Zaimokuza finally calm down after all that fussing? He's now looking at us with very eager eyes. I made another cough and said.
3037
3038"Everyone, I have another unfortunate thing to announce."
3039
3040"Ok."
3041
3042Zaimokuza sat upright again.
3043
3044"Look... we are indeed opposing the prom, but not as some kind of anti-prom group. The prom will still be held."
3045
3046"what!?"
3047
3048Although Zaimokuza tilted his head, but is still showing a serious expression. Totsuka and Kawasaki reacted in a similar way. Well, it can't be helped for them to react in such a way, since this does sound pretty confusing. When I was thinking on how to elaborate further, Yuigahama immediately followed up with my statement.
3049
3050“Yukinon and Iroha chan are organizing the prom, but the parents a and the school demanded them to apply self-restraint. So we are considering to present them a different prom proposal, something like that.”
3051
3052"....Huh."
3053
3054Kawasaki’s reply sounded as if she was uninterested, her eyes however widened with a glint of surprise, it is because of hearing the term self-restraint for the first time?
3055
3056"Yukinoshita and Iroha's plan has been rejected by the parents association. Even if they make amendments to that proposal, it will most probably get kicked back again. Therefore, we plan to present them with a second proposal. With the existence of two proposals, we should be able to force a situation where they'll have to select either one of them."
3057
3058"Is Yukinoshita aware of this?"
3059
3060Although her tone sounded cold, I could see the worries in Kawasaki's eyes. I shook my head.
3061
3062"No, she doesn't know... to be exact, I did not tell her. Sorry, please don't mention about this to others. The plan won't work if it's exposed."
3063
3064Kawasaki’s looked at me in disbelief. While although not obvious, Totsuka too seemed to be confused. Only Zaimokuza is tapping on the table with his hand while nodding.
3065
3066"Uhm uhm, a double bind... under a premise huh, so you're suggesting them multiple options to choose, and pull off this psychological trick where they'll act under the impression that they must choose..."
3067
3068"Yes, something like that."
3069
3070Only this however won't be enough to induce an answer from the parents, so its not the full picture, but that is indeed our intention.
3071
3072Sounding as if he's sorting out all these information being sorted out, Totsuka who had been nodding silently as he was listening said with a low voice.
3073
3074"Which means that, you'll still be opposing the prom one way or another."
3075
3076"... Indeed. So I hope that you can help us out with the planning of the prom..."
3077
3078I find it difficult to convey my next sentence, so my mouth froze half open.
3079
3080As I stayed silent for a few moments, he sat up straight staring at me. Showing me an impression that felt different from his usual serenity and gentleness, a slightly prestigious look.
3081
3082"Hachiman, allow me to verify something first. Otherwise this conversation will just end up with loose ties like it did before. I don't like it."
3083
3084Even though he sounded shy, a strong will could be sensed from his words. This feeling that I never expected Totsuka to have made me at a loss of words. But now that he said it, it is true that I never actually talked about this to anyone, no, I didn't even attempt to have a discussion from the beginning, simply allowing things to end abruptly. In their point of view I probably acted very dishonest and irresponsible.
3085
3086"What exactly do you want?"
3087
3088Not really understanding what is the intent behind this question, I asked him through my eyes. Totsuka then scratched his cheeks and said.
3089
3090"The way Hachiman said it just now, doesn't sound like you really want to organize a prom. Which made me fell concerned about it...the fact that you're hiding this from Yukinoshita san doesn't sound right to me either. Is there another goal that Hachiman wants to achieve here?"
3091
3092"No, I..."
3093
3094As I was about to explain using the words I just came up with. Totsuka's strong eyes stopped me from doing so.
3095
3096"Sorry Hachiman, I know that it might be hard to say it out loud with everyone being here. But we really want to understand you properly."
3097
3098I couldn't speak for a while.
3099
3100Everyone in front of me is staring here. Either with their backs straight, or leaning sideways, or seeming troubled from such an atmosphere.
3101
3102As I was figuring out on what to say, my wavering sight landed on Yuigahama's worried face.
3103
3104"Hikki..."
3105
3106I could feel my cuff being pulled by her hand under the table. Feeling her warmth, I closed my eyes.
3107
3108Yeah, I know. This time I should really say it properly.
3109
3110This is not the first time I asked them for help. Although the lineup of people this time are somewhat different, the situation is the same. Back then, I kept everything hidden from them, using other as an excuse, for the sake of relying on their gentleness.
3111
3112But its different now. Even if it feels embarrassing, but at least right now I can tell them all about it, with a language that contains no lies.
3113
3114Even if they might find it unreasonable and illogical, and they might not find it to be true. But its my very language, the kind of language that is not a borrowed or a temporary one.
3115
3116
3117
3118"Truth be told, I don't really care about what happens to the prom.... Yukinoshita, wants to achieve it with her own strength. So she doesn't want me to help."
3119
3120I opened my eyes slowly.
3121
3122"Even so, I still want to make their prom a reality... that's what I thought."
3123
3124After struggling hard to finish my sentence, my eyes lined up with Totsuka's bright smile, as he nodded in approval. At this moment I feel liberated from all these things entangling my chest, and let out a breath.
3125
3126"Generally speaking, I'm planning to come out with a proposal that acts as a sacrificial dummy. A counterfeit designed for the sole purpose of letting the original proposal to be approved. Now knowing that everything you do will only be in vain, if you are still willing to help, please lend me a hand."
3127
3128I bowed my head and waited for their answer, and I could feel the tension on my cuffs growing stronger.
3129
3130Silence itself lasted for only a few seconds. However, no other words could be heard other than the slightest sighs.
3131
3132I then heard a deep sigh. As I looked up, Kawasaki showed me a sorry look.
3133
3134"I'm sorry. As I'm currently helping out Yukinoshita, I can't just leave my current duties aside. Things should always have a proper beginning and end."
3135
3136Kawasaki's hand that was supporting her chin a while ago, is now placed on her thighs, her body sat straight up, showing an admirable posture.
3137
3138"...Ah, I understand. In fact, its good to know that you're helping out Yukinoshita. Their prom is the main event after all. Please."
3139
3140Kawasaki then turned her head aside and said quickly.
3141
3142"I will do it even if you didn't asked me to. But...I'll be cheering for you guys from the other side."
3143
3144After adding that remark with a very low voice, Totsuka looked at Kawasaki with a smile, and followed up.
3145
3146"I have club activities so I won't be available all the time... But if you need any manpower, just let me know. The tennis team will help out. I am the club president after all."
3147
3148Said Totsuka as he patted on his chest. My expression calmed down after hearing his answer.
3149
3150"Thank you, I'll count on you when the time comes."
3151
3152Even though the number of active committee members have not increase, it still feels reassuring to know that we have backup in case of an emergency. Most importantly, frank people like those in the tennis club could be very helpful.
3153
3154I let out a silent breath of relief, and I could feel a pat on my cuff. Even though she didn't say anything, the words "This is great." has been conveyed through this action. I didn't look at her face as I was feeling shy, so I only nodded slightly as a response.
3155
3156There are no major progress. But at least we're moving forward bit by bit... As I had this thought, I looked up, only to see Zaimokuza remaining silent, occasionally making sounds that I can't tell whether its a murmur or a shriek.
3157
3158"Hnggghh..."
3159
3160As I thought that he's thinking things through, Zaimokuza suddenly stood up. Which Kawasaki and Totsuka who noticed him both stood up and gave way. Zaimokuza then gave them a nod and walked out with a hand knife pose. As he reached the aisle, he stood straight with his back facing me.
3161
3162"...Right now it should be the one at west Chiba's Lucky? No, the ACE."
3163
3164Zaimokuza is seen playing with his phone while saying those words. Feeling weird from his actions, me and Yuigahama looked at each other. Conversing silently with our eyes "What does that mean?" "I don't know". All I could recongnize is the name of the game centers he just said. Knowing that I shouldn't leave him that way, I asked.
3165
3166"Hey uhh...Zaimokuza san? You there?"
3167
3168As I called out to him, Zaimokuza turned back sideways, with his hands now in both pockets, showing a cold smile.
3169
3170"... Well, guess I have no choice."
3171
3172Even though I know that he was just acting cool, for some reason I find his acting much convincing than ever before.
3173
3174No seriously, its actually pretty cool.
3175
3176"You need talents right. Tomorrow, free up your schedule a little, I will contact you."
3177
3178Once he finished that sentence, Zaimokuza walked towards the exit in large steps. The odd yet fascinating sensation made me froze for a moment, when I came back to my senses, I stood up and told him.
3179
3180"Sorry, and thank you."
3181
3182So, Zaimokuza stopped his movements.
3183
3184"Wait! And hope!"
3185
3186Zaimokuza could be seen waving his trench coat, both arms stretched out, and shouted these words. What, bruh. Can you please not do this in a restaurant ... Although, well, it does look pretty cool to be honest.
3187
3188
3189
3190
3191
3192Chapter 5: Not usually being aware of it, the closing credits are about to roll.
3193
3194
3195A day after Zaimokuza’s cool proclamation, the promised moment finally came.
3196
3197As soon as the end of class bell rang, I promptly turned my head back and cast my eyes over to the back corner of the classroom - entering my sight was the typical group centered around Miura. Needless to say, Yuigahama was also part of it.
3198
3199I breathed out deeply, made up my mind and then stood up from my seat. Maybe I was a little too fired up - I just created a fuss by pushing back the chair too hard and making a stupid ‘grrr’ sound as it scrubbed the ground. Yuigahama noticed that sound and looked in my direction. Well, in fact, everybody left in the classroom then were looking at me.
3200
3201That was so embarrassing of me that I just wanted to get to the back of the classroom and dive right into the window glass immediately, till I reached the end of the blue sky. You’d think of it as exciting as ‘Grand Blue’ but I was so close to turning the school courtyard into red ocean.
3202
3203After all, the embarrassment I suffered wasn’t for nothing. Yuigahama immediately picked up her school bag and carried it on her back, waving goodbye to Miura and coming towards me.
3204
3205“About to get going?”
3206
3207“Yeah…”
3208
3209What a relief… to have Yuigahama coming up and talking to me. But still, it’s kind of embarrassing to be talked to first. Shy egoistic 17-year-old Hachiman! To avoid further being stared at, I quickly left the classroom, followed by Yuigahama walking like a penguin making a “peta-peta” sound with her indoor shoes.
3210
3211I walked ahead of her by half a step. We came to the same intersection as yesterday, where to the right lies the staircase and to the left the special-purpose building. Yuigahama then pecked my back asking,
3212
3213“What shall we do today?”
3214
3215“Ah, I heard something from Zaimokuza earlier...”
3216
3217As I spoke I took out my smartphone to confirm the meetup location Zaimokuza sent over to me.
3218
3219Yuigahama leaned her head, jumping back and forth, left and right, as if saying ‘let me also see it’. Hey! That’s disturbing but cute yet also annoying stop jumping stop leaping leave me alone. Just give me a moment and I’ll let you see it…. Hence I did.
3220
3221“Ehh, looks like we are also meeting someone else besides Zaimokuza there.”
3222
3223“Hmm…”
3224
3225Yuigahama peeked at the screen over my shoulder and blinked her eyes a couple times. After that, she leaned her head and asked me dubiously,
3226
3227“... Who else is the Chuunibyou calling?”
3228
3229I looked outside the window as she asked - no matter how far it goes the sky stays blue and perfectly clear. There, it seemed that I just saw an illusion of Zaimokuza in a thumb-up pose. I put up a bitter smile corresponding to my illusion.
3230
3231“Let’s just trust him for now…”
3232
3233“Even if you say so with a good face....”
3234
3235Yuigahama’s uneasy mutter echoed in the corridor.
3236
3237
3238
3239
3240
32415-2
3242
3243
3244
3245
3246
3247Shortly, we arrived at the special-purpose building according to Zaimokuza’s message, two floors below the Service Club, which was located on the fourth. Around the corner stood Zaimokuza like a Deva King. He noticed us two soon and started waving at us.
3248
3249“Oh, come here!”
3250
3251While being waved at, I arrived at the front of a certain classroom.
3252
3253“This place is…”
3254
3255Yuigahama opened her mouth in surprise and cast her eyes into the classroom. So did I, before I noticed something too.
3256
3257I had been to this place before. If I remember it correctly, this is… Ga...Gamer’s Research Club, aka Asoken. My memory of this place was vague but I could recollect that I used to play Daifugou (or Daihinmin) here.
3258
3259“Please come in.”
3260
3261Zaimokuza knocked on the door yet entered the classroom without waiting for any response. We were still bewildered but still we followed him quickly into the classroom.
3262
3263Behind the door there was a pile of boxes, books, packages stacking on top of each other. They looked like intimidating walls standing there, leaving the room look like a maze. Entering my mind were images of a typical bibliomania’s home library and a packed toy shop.
3264
3265“Hey… is this the Game Club?”
3266
3267Yuigahama dragged my sleeve and asked. Thanks to her question now I remembered too. Yes yes, this is the Game Club. Ah… Yeah, that’s a thing in our school.
3268
3269As I was thinking so, Zaimokuza ended up walking way ahead of us and was about to disappear amid the tallest pile of books and boxes.
3270
3271I quickly chased him up, and there I saw two long desks and two more guys.
3272
3273Those two guys noticed us and both pushed their glasses up.
3274
3275“Hello…”
3276
3277“... Long time no see.”
3278
3279I felt like I had seen one of them - with that distinctive, fashionable pair of glasses. While I was wondering his name, Zaimokuza eagerly prepared the steel chairs, laid out the tea and snacks on the table. He placed Yuigahama’s and my chair facing against those two glasses, and then sat down on their side of the table.
3280
3281“Th.. thanks!”
3282
3283After Yuigahama expressed her gratitude, Zaimokuza and the two Game Club guys all respectively mumbled “please have a seat”. Yuigahama quietly and politely pulled out the chair and sat down. In contrast, I sat down on the chair heavily.
3284
3285“Zaimokuza, are they the so-called ‘helpers’?”
3286
3287“Positive. They are Mr. Hatano and Mr. Sagami.”
3288
3289He pointed at the two of them for us, proudly and happily. He smiled so excitingly as he was introducing them to us. Since when did you guys get along with each other so well… I wonder if it’s one of those arcade center friendships. Well, I have zero interest in Zaimokuza’s friendship circle anyways. Whatevs. Now here’s the problem. Which one is Sagami and which one is Hatano…? I stared at them for a while but still failed to match their names to their faces.
3290
3291“Oh crap, the Sworder-san was actually being serious…”
3292
3293“Ikr! I thought he was definitely joking.”
3294
3295My guess - Hatano spoke first and the follow-up person looked like Sagami.
3296
3297Overhearing their secret conversations, it seemed that Zaimokuza already told them about our business here. That makes things easier to explain.
3298
3299“Let me get into it straight. In opposition to the actual prom, you guys are going to help us with this dummy prom proposal, which will ensure that the actual prom takes place.”
3300
3301I quickly put my elbows on the table and leaned forward, trying to motivate their incentives. My body language was suggesting ‘Let’s all do our best together!’ to them. Well. The two Game Club guys looked at me disinterestedly.
3302
3303“Is this guy a moron?”
3304
3305“He is making a big deal just to do something like that? I wonder if there’s something wrong with his brain...”
3306
3307Hatano was astounded and Sagami looked sympathetic. Zaimokuza seemed happy from his heart. He straightened his chest up cheerfully and said,
3308
3309“That’s right! That’s him, Hikigaya Hachiman! Always using strange, bizarre and unexpected measures to get things done. Stupid! A fool! A jocular fellow!”
3310
3311Shit! These guys really irritated me…! I was about about to kick the chair and say goodbye. I couldn’t do so, because Yuigahama was dragging my jacket sleeve again.
3312
3313“Hikki, you have to ask them properly…”
3314
3315I couldn’t say no - being asked by someone acting like a cute kid. But she was right. I was the one asking for the favor. It made sense to ask them nicely and directly for help. I signed briefly, dismissing all my dissatisfaction and irritation I had so far and bowed my head down.
3316
3317“I’m sorry if I had to phrase it this way. I urgently need you guys to help to me without asking for pay-back. Think of it as volunteering for Olympic games. Quit complaining and just help me please.”
3318
3319“He really should feel sorry for saying that way…”
3320
3321“Even the politicians choose their way of speech better than him.”
3322
3323Probably because I asked them too directly, Hatano and Sagami leant their body backward and faces upward. That was dismissive. Yuigahama moved her hands in panic, saying “Gaah… he won’t listen…” She jumped in and said,
3324
3325“I’m sorry… Hikki is like this all the time. He’s quite unreasonable or...!”
3326
3327What a follow-up rescue that ended up not being a good one. They probably couldn’t act tough on Yuigahama and only gave ingratiating smiles.
3328
3329Immediately following that, meetings between the glasses took place. The glasses sitting in the middle whispered to the glasses sitting aside,
3330
3331“... What should we do then?”
3332
3333“Mmmh, I’m against helping him!”
3334
3335For some reason, it came from Zaimokuza, who sat on the other side. Wait, what? Why are you against me… The glasses who was whispered at raised his hand languorously and asked,
3336
3337“Hmmm… we actually don’t want the prom to take place to begin with.”
3338
3339When he said so, the other two glasses nodded in agreement.
3340
3341Same... I know your feelings quite well… I was thinking about saying that, but no! I couldn’t let myself retreat and surrender now.
3342
3343That Zaimokuza, who had even worse communication ability than I did, somehow managed to asked for help from those who used to make fun of him. Look at how much sacrifice he made for me! So I couldn’t just destroy this thinny connection that he made for my sake. To repay for his precious sacrifice, I needed to somehow convince those two to hop on… Otherwise, I would feel really sorry for Zaimokuza after his death - as a ghost he would probably cry regrettably for all the sacrifice he made for today. At the very least, I want him to rest in peace then.
3344
3345Now it’s the time for me to get serious for real. I made up my mind to persuade them patiently and wholeheartedly.
3346
3347I seized everyone’s attention with a couple coughs. I began my sentence in heavy sounding voice as if I was trying to cover up the secrets that I was about to say,
3348
3349“... None of my following words shall leave this room - we were actually asked to practice ‘self-restraint’ with regard to the prom event.”
3350
3351Suddenly, upon hearing unexpected information, the glasses all went silence immediately. I had no idea why Zaimokuza was also silent. Hey, didn’t I tell you about this yesterday already?
3352
3353Well, whatever. Let me get everyone’s hype further up by going into more detailed explanations.
3354
3355“On the other hand, it’s ‘self-restraint’ after all, which means, it’s possible for us to force the prom to take place anyways… Actually that’s almost definitely going to be the case. If that happens, it will probably end up being an in-house preprom like what happened before.
3356
3357“Wait, no. What if I just simply refuse to attend?”
3358
3359I nodded my head in response to the counterargument raised by Sagami, or Hatano whatever, showing my great sympathy. I raised my hand, suggesting.
3360
3361“Just be patient and hear me first. Think about it for a second. If you didn’t show up at the prom, then you probably wouldn’t have the courage to show up at the Coming of Age ceremonies or any alumni reunion events later in your life.”
3362
3363Think about the alumni reunions at the age of 30. Those who didn’t attend the Coming of Age ceremonies together with classmates or didn’t attend the alumni reunions right after graduation have a zero percent of chance to show up at alumni reunions at later ages - verified by my own research. For those who are courageous enough to attend it, you’ll see half of the attendees already got married, and you’ll even notice some of their kids are already attending elementary schools. That hurts one’s feelings -verified by my dad’s research. The attending fee would probably be around 5000 Yen. Looks like the accountant would be happy at ease if he/she receives Higuchi Ichiyou bills rather than bills with other face values - Teenagers Vying for Tops.
3364
3365However, the reaction from the Game Club did not change after they heard my words.
3366
3367
3368
3369“Ehh, I still think it’s okay not to attend anyways...”
3370
3371“I felt like the past me probably thought in that way at one point…”
3372
3373Expecting the reply, I immediately said so and cast my eyes afar.
3374
3375“Just think about it and imagine…”
3376
3377And then I started storytelling like John Lennon.
3378
3379“It’s the morning of Come to Age Day. Few days ago, you just went out shopping with your dad like you hadn’t done so in a few years. You are wearing a new suit that you bought with your dad for job hunting and interviews.
3380
3381“He just started talking suddenly out of the blue….”
3382
3383Next to me Yuigahama sighed with amazement. I tried to stop her with my hand gesture and continued anyway. I did a little trick of touching my collar and add some emotions into my words.
3384
3385“And then, expecting that you are going to drink with everyone, you mom hands you a 10000 yen bill. Both your parents are so proud of your maturity and wet in their eyes while not bothering to see you off by walking you to the doorstep....”
3386
3387I narrated so vehemently and waved my hands while wearing a mom smile. Seeing this, Zaimokuza and the Game Club two all showed their sickening faces.
3388
3389“Ah, that’s so tough…”
3390
3391That’s the Zaimokuza in his puberty! A bad guy who made a woman - his mom though - cry was confessing his sin and keeping his head down silently. Perhaps both Sagami and Hatano both were thinking about their parents. They both had their mouths shut.
3392
3393Now it’s the time for the final attack to take place - I pour in more passions into my words.
3394
3395“You then spend the next hour like this - you hold that 10000 yen bill delightfully, go to the game arcade center, used up almost all that money, eat an extra-extra large ice cream at a Happy Club, and if your stomach feels too cold you then swallow a lot of miso soup to make it feel warmer. In the middle of the night when your house is supposed to have the light out, your mom doesn’t bother to wake up to welcome you back. She asks if you had a good time and you reply to her mumbling like ‘eh, it was okay.’ She then weeps and gently wiped her eyes, saying ‘...Ah, Yoshiteru is already a grown man.’”
3396
3397“Me!? It was me!? You were talking about me!?”
3398
3399“Sworder-san, tough for you…”
3400
3401Sagami and Hatano both tapped Zaimokuza’s shoulder to comfort him.
3402
3403I peeked at them without directly looking at them, and said the following vehemently,
3404
3405“Therefore, we shall learn in order to avoid ending up like him - learn the wisdom to get things done. I’d say the prom is the perfect learning opportunity to train us.
3406
3407As I finished talking, the guys all sighed deeply. I wore a smile on my face and continued,
3408
3409“Nevertheless, we cannot make the prom too fired up and hyped as much as we want it to be. It’s too hard to do so. Therefore, we need to stay low and serious… and put up a carefully-crafted prom that’s positioned at a sweet-spot to earn more experience.”
3410
3411As I finished talking again, the three glasses glanced at each other and began their glasses meeting again.
3412
3413“This guys sounded like he has as point.”, “When he brought up the parents it made me feel rough too…”, “He seemed that he did it pretty well.”, “Right, that’s what irritated me the most! He certainly didn’t look like that kind of person…”, “Hey, Sworder-san your face is too close. You are choking me”, “This distance is unacceptable as an image.”, “So, what shall we do then?”, “Hmm let me think…”
3414
3415Yuigahama looked at their secret conversation apathetically. She looked really tired from her face - sorry about all this…
3416
3417Short after, the Glasses Summit was about to reach its conclusion. The three pondered for a while. Considering their immediate rejection before, my persuasion certainly worked.
3418
3419“Not really a way to say thank you, but starting from next year, I will collect your suggestion and feedback and promise to you that a prom that’s acceptable to you guys will be held. I will try my best to realize my promise. So, please lend me your hands.”
3420
3421I just did a final push and brought up a benefit that’s not really a benefit to be honest. To make them ‘feel’ the merit from it, I bowed my head down.
3422
3423After a moment of silence, someone spoke up politely.
3424
3425“Hmm, is that okay? … Isn’t next year the time when you all graduate?”
3426
3427“Ah, well. To be more accurate I meant starting from the next next prom.”
3428
3429As I raised my head, I saw one of the Game Club member who looked like Sagami from the shape of his classes. He put up a sulky face, sighed briefly and said,
3430
3431“... In that case, I’ll offer my help”
3432
3433“Wait, wait, seriously?”
3434
3435In reaction to Sagami’s words, both Zaimokuza and Hatano resounded together. And then Sagami put up a bitter yet determined face and exclaimed,
3436
3437“I wanted to first defeat and get rid of the shame that resides in my own family.”
3438
3439“Eh?”
3440
3441I leaned my head after hearing his little bit unexpected reasonings to ask for further elaborations. Sagami then starting explaining in a voice as if it was holding a grudge.
3442
3443“My sister is that type of person who will certainly come in and intervene with the event. So it might end up like that anyways next year. In that case, I’d like to intervene in advance and prevent her from getting the opportunity.”
3444
3445“Hmmm….”
3446
3447While I was listening to him, I looked at Sagami’s face carefully and noticed… They really looked alike indeed. Yuigahama next to me also exclaimed quietly with a little ‘ahh..’.
3448
3449“Ah, Sagami, you are THAT person’s younger brother, right…”
3450
3451The moment I said so Sagami’s face turned twisted, showing a very disgusting expression. Ah that face made them look so similar… Um, well, with her being the sister he is definitely living a tough life. Um um, I understand.
3452
3453“Shame within the family… I can sympathize with you. Next year my sister is also attending this high school. I cannot withstand the shame when I think of the moment when my sister sees a pathetic me at school and starts feeling shameful and embarrassed. Just imagining whether my kind, adorable sister would get hurt in her heart makes me feel extra painful.
3454
3455“Is that the case you are referring to…”
3456
3457As I explained with my eyes wet, Yuigahama lowered her shoulders with a little surprise on her face. Well, don’t worry about Komachi. Back in middle school, we both acted like we were complete strangers at school, even though we had the same ahoge.
3458
3459Speaking of which, Sagami Minami helped my argument in an unexpected way. My gratitude expressed - thank you for everything from the time we met.
3460
3461And, the other glasses… Hatano, who was finally able to be identified. I looked at him as he took of his glasses and cleaned up the lenses.
3462
3463“To be honest I don’t really care… But yeah, when I graduate, I don’t want to be looked and thought as inferior to others and being sympathized by someone who misunderstands me and looks down on me. Thinking about this irritates me. So count me in!”
3464
3465“Really!?”
3466
3467I almost reacted in ecstasy. Yet Hatana slimmed his eyes and stared at me.
3468
3469“However, can you really put up a prom that all of us can accept?”
3470
3471Speaking of which this Hatano, looking at his way of speaking and his eye contacts, they all looked kind of rottened and thus very good-looking to me! A little bit impressed by this guy, I then tried to act like a senpai and said.
3472
3473“Ah, that’s not a problem. There is no way that there are enough personnel arranging the prom. So next year you guys can create and arrange another prom plan together yourselves. DIY it! To put it in practice, I shall dogeza in front of Isshiki and lick her shoes if necessary.”
3474
3475“Dogeza… that’s even surprising to me.”
3476
3477“Licking her shoes is the more disgusting part, okay! Speaking so, I don’t think you need to go that far get Iroha-chan listen to your request.”
3478
3479Saying so with full confidence, Zaimokuza was caught in surprise. On the other hand, Yuigahama seemed already used to it. Being disappointed at first but soon calmly returned to normal conversations. Nevertheless, both Hatano and Sagami still looked at me in disgust… As I was thinking so, both of them redirected their focus to something else…
3480
3481“Isshiki…”
3482
3483“Iroha…”
3484
3485Murmured one after another, both of them looked at each other, and then turned their face to me at once.
3486
3487“Are you referring to THAT Isshiki Iroha?”
3488
3489“There shouldn't be a second one, right… Maybe, I don’t know.”
3490
3491The Isshiki Iroha that I know of, is the President of the Student Council, the manager of the Soccer Club, the No.1 naughtily cute underclass kouhai. I do not believe there is a second Isshiki Iroha in our school.
3492
3493“The worst… The worst woman ever...”
3494
3495“Isn’t she the asshole bitch that owns the night pool annual pass… having a boyfriend who’s also the CEO of an IT company, only thinking about looking good on Instagram, indulged in luxurious cosmetics brand and a party girl?”
3496
3497Hatano grabbed to to his head with both hands and Sagami fixed his stare at me without moving his eyes. Huh, what kind of image did you leave among your classmates, Ms. Irohasu. I have to acknowledge it. Even Yuigahama showed a bitter smile on her face. Nevertheless, to defend an underclassman’s fame as an upperclassman, I I have to correct them now.
3498
3499“Well, the image is almost correct but all the rumors are fake news. Her personality is indeed kind of like *that* but she is in fact a good person.”
3500
3501However, my explanation didn’t seem convincing to Sagami and Hatano, who shook their bodies simultaneously.
3502
3503“But she looked at us as if we are trash.”
3504
3505“No. She didn’t even bother to look, as if we never existed…”
3506
3507“It was so scary.... Little ghost, there’s little ghost here…”
3508
3509For some reason even Zaimokuza began trembling as well, mumbling something unconsciously. That’s incorrect guys, it’s actually called ‘little demon’.
3510
3511“... in that case, you guys *have* no choice but doing it now. Maybe you don’t know it yet but...”
3512
3513I shook my shoulders as I told them. Yuigahama nodded at me, signaling me to continue with a gentle smile. Therefore, I also decided to put up a smile over one side of my lips, raise my voice up, and properly tell them the good side of Isshiki Iroha.
3514
3515Hence, I prayed that people’s misunderstandings about her will eventually got cleared up, even just by a little bit.
3516
3517“.... that scum and hopeless part of her eventually becomes part of her habits, and contrastingly it’s kind of cute of her that way.”
3518
3519Then, all three Glasses Club members mumbled respectively “his levels are high”, “makes sense”, “understandable”, which are all compliments. Let’s all stand up and high five for being comrades who reached the door to the truth of the new world. The atmosphere turned into tfw ‘I wish you happiness and cheers to celebrate our tight bondings’.
3520
3521Yet suddenly I sensed a slight chill running down my back.
3522
3523“Hikki-, you looked so sweet and lenient towards Iroha-chan...”
3524
3525“Eh?”
3526
3527My ahoge radar was already beeping in response, but I was too scared to look aside.
3528
3529
3530
3531
3532
35335-3
3534
3535
3536
3537
3538
3539After going through some difficulties, I successfully looted the two from the Game Club aboard.
3540
3541I had no idea how high I should set my expectations for those two but I cherished the free labor that I managed to obtain in hand. Regardless of whether they are capable or incapable of doing things, as long as I make them work their ass off, my attack power will for sure raise to a considerably high level.
3542
3543Now here came the real problem.
3544
3545First we had to create the proposal, and then reach the step where we can argue with it.
3546
3547So now, bearing in mind that we needed to go against Yukinoshita’s proposal, we finally began to conceive our own proposal.
3548
3549“Ok. Let’s begin our proposal meetinggggg...Hmm, the idea is that, we need to create a proposal that’s more prominent and flashy than the previous prom proposal.
3550
3551The air froze immediately and nobody followed me up, only Yuigahama’s aimless handclaps resonated in the room, but it soon disappeared.
3552
3553I did not put in too much concrete thoughts into my words, but merely trying to grope for a way in the dark fog. After all, nobody here other than Yuigahama is actually interested in the prom proposal.
3554
3555“First of all, is there anyone here wanting to do anything?”
3556
3557I bet no too… Hence I asked and the answer was zero as I expected. As I was thinking so, Yuigahama raised her hand high up.
3558
3559“Here! Here! Here!”
3560
3561“...Yes, Yugahama-san!”
3562
3563“Stalls, I hope there are those!”
3564
3565“Okay, I see”
3566
3567No objection and denial. I wrote down the suggestions on the whiteboard. ‘Do you know that there’s a thing called brainstorming…’ Tamanawa spoke to me in my imagination.
3568
3569“Anything else…?”
3570
3571“Yes! Yes!”
3572
3573Of course, following my question, Yuigahama raised her hand immediately.
3574
3575“...... Alright, Yuigahama-san”
3576
3577“Fireworks! I like both seeing and playing with them.”
3578
3579“That’s a pass!”
3580
3581Having agreement and sympathy in mind, I carefully recorded this precious suggestion on the whiteboard. “Preach it!” Orimoto shouted out in my imagination.
3582
3583“And then…?”
3584
3585“Yes!”
3586
3587“................Yuigahama.”
3588
3589“Like putting up a campfire or something that creates memories!”
3590
3591“.... are you briefing to us your summer vacation memories? Well whatever, it’s okay.”
3592
3593I kept writing stuff on the whiteboard anyways, seeing it almost turning into an elementary school kid’s illustrated diary.
3594
3595As I cast my ‘wet’ eyes to Yuigahama, she played with her hair bun and dodged her eyes away from me, finding and mumbling various excuses.
3596
3597“... But, as long as I think about fun and enjoyable things they just came up in my mind irresistibly.”
3598
3599When I saw her getting shy with a flush on her cheeks, I became a little bit embarrassed too. Doing so, all other guys turned their faces to me as if they were about to spit out sugar from their mouths. I can’t bear this.
3600
3601I cough out loud to seize their attention, and continued our discussion.
3602
3603“Now Hatano. You seem to have another suggestion.”
3604
3605“Nope. To begin with I don’t even want the prom to happen… also, what the hell are you trying to show me?”
3606
3607Hatano muttered while biting his tongue. Hey I can’t hear you bro! Speak out loud with your stomach!
3608
3609“Sagami the Younger Brother, in other words, something that your sister would like and enjoy.”
3610
3611“I do not want to think about that.”
3612
3613After hearing the words that he didn’t want to hear, Sagami Jr. immediately shut his mouth up with his head dangling. Yes, little by little it got easier for me to distinguish the two - the one with a terrible attitude is Hatano; and the one that’s poor with his sister is Sagami.
3614
3615Let me see what’s left… As I turned my eyes, Zaimokuza stroke a serious pose and said heavily.
3616
3617“Cosplay.... Is good to go, right?”
3618
3619“Ah, like a Halloween Cosplay? Sounds sweet!”
3620
3621“Phmff...”
3622
3623In reaction to the delightful Yuigahama, Zaimokuza put up a bitter and sorrowful smile. Yep, I bet the impression of cosplay is quite different in Zaimokuza’s mind vs in Yuigahama’s mind. Well, it was not a terribly unreasonable suggestion. I noted it on the whiteboard anyways.
3624
3625However, as I scanned through all the items on the board, I felt like something was a bit off.
3626
3627“We are probably still missing something...”
3628
3629In addition to the suggestions coming from Yuigahama, I also added a couple more ideas from my Hachiman Memo, including “Singing songs”, “Perform a play”, “Make an address”. Still I reckoned something was missing, but importantly ‘can we still call it a prom?’ questions like this came out in my mind.
3630
3631While I leaned my head a little bit, Sagami and Hatano’s cold giggles stroked my ears.
3632
3633“It’s meaningless to just recklessly fight against the old prom proposal.”
3634
3635“Knowing that nobody would do this, we need to first think about why nobody does it.”
3636
3637“Your remarks are too pertinent…”
3638
3639Ah come to think of it. These guys were the mean and annoying otaku people. I could sense it vaguely so I wasn’t able to raise any counter-arguments against them. Grrr… was the only voice I can make.
3640
3641I flipped the whiteboard to the blank side, just a way to switch our mood. I then crossed my arms to try to come up with more ideas…
3642
3643“Hey, Hikki-”
3644
3645As I turned around, Yuigahama raised her hand timidly.
3646
3647“Yes, Yuigahama-san.”
3648
3649“To put it more blatantly, we all don’t even really know about proms that much. I don’t think we can come up with something more amazing than the Yukinoshita team.”
3650
3651“...ah, you are right.”
3652
3653“So, why not make the scale of the event even bigger? Not just within our school but also reaching out to other HS”
3654
3655Yuigahama raised her arms to embrace the air above her, moving her hands accordingly.
3656
3657“... I see, I see.”
3658
3659Both Yuigahama and I know the upper bound of our mobilization within our school. We know the capacity. Knowing this, it’s very hard to conceive and create a prom proposal that falls under the capacity of high schoolers. Both knowledge and common sense are annoying - once internalized them, we ended up getting trapped by them. For these reason, we ended up drawing ideas that fall on the extension lines of things such as school festival, Christmas, Halloween and summer break. Moreover, the Yukinoshita team already filled in more concrete plans on top of the old prom proposal. If we try to even surpass them, it would definitely turn out to be an amalgamation of ridiculous ideas.
3660
3661“... changing our way of thinking and try another perspective...”
3662
3663Getting fussed, disoriented, and troubled, it’s about time to go back to the starting line.
3664
3665In our case, we should return our focus to why we wanted to create this new dummy proposal - one of the reasons being to go against Yukinoshita, but that’s not our end goal.
3666
3667Our goal is to actualize the prom, and before that we need to eliminate all the barriers that block it.
3668
3669That is to say, the foes that we need to turn against are the parents.
3670
3671Hence I wrote down “Anti-parents” on the whiteboard, and tapped it with the back of my fingers.
3672
3673“This is it. How do we make some of the parents notice our dummy plan, then try to terminate it, and then hopefully yield to the alternative plan? We need to think about this.”
3674
3675Therefore, we should keep the core of our proposal untouched and unchanged, and then shift to easy ways to upscale the prom by its looking. And then the easiest way to upscale the prom is to bring up the headcount of participation. Yuigahama’s suggestion to bring in the other school would be such a great move.
3676
3677I kept pondering for a while, and then quickly wrote down “Chiba-Kaihin Area Elementary-Middle-High School Joint Prom Event” on the whiteboard. Zaimokuza tilted his head in ‘umu-umu’ agreement.
3678
3679“Are we even able to do such a thing?”
3680
3681“We are not.”
3682
3683“Ehhh…”
3684
3685Hearing my immediate response, Zaimokuza voiced in confusion. I waved my finger and laughed with a ‘hmph hmph’.
3686
3687“It doesn’t matter if we can actually do it. The thing that matters is to convince others that we are going to do it.”
3688
3689We cannot make our proposal look like a ridiculous joke. It’s important that it needs to tie into reality.
3690
3691Theremore, we need to blend in some flavors of reality, or reality-like facts to our proposal.
3692
3693“For now, let’s just put up some ‘Notices’ around other schools nearby. Make it a concrete fact that already happened, and then we naturally guide the parents to put up their guard against it.”
3694
3695It doesn’t matter if the plan gets realized. In the form of distributing ‘Notices’ or ‘Confirmation of Actions’, we can use them as evidence and then fabricate the hype. It’s the same thing as PRs for those TV animation projects. Bringing up the news doesn’t necessary imply that the project will be actualized. There are TV anime series that were announced but never actually produced or aired! The anime industry is indeed just like a slaughterhouse.
3696
3697“I will let Komachi know at one point, as for other schools…”
3698
3699I was waiting for follow-ups, and well, nobody wanted to help me out clearly… As I crossed my arms in annoyance, Yuigahama waved her hands openly and made another suggestion.
3700
3701“What about Kaihin-Sougou HS? Remember we had joint events with them before, which might make them easier to talk to.”
3702
3703“To properly set up the dialogue might still be difficult. However, it certainly feels more real with some past experience together…”
3704
3705On one hand, it’s very difficult to establish a constructive conversation with Tamanawa, the President of their Student Council, and that’s not even mentioning moving forward. On the other hand, we are not aiming at actually making the joint prom happen. To make a pose of planning to do so, we just need to show that we indeed carried out conversations with them. Having these in mind, in a way Tamanawa from Kaihin-Sougou is the *best* candidate of all. After all, he was famous for holding conference without any concrete content but just embellishments and decorations from the outside.
3706
3707“... what about other schools? For example, the middle schools that each of you graduated from… Try talking to them as well?”
3708
3709“Err… I don’t want to do it.”
3710
3711Sagami said so clearly without any incentives or motivations, whereas Hatano blatantly put up an unwilling face and as for Zaimokuza…, he just faked that he didn’t hear what I said at all. Ok, I feel you allll. So, I won’t force you guys anymore.
3712
3713“It won’t be necessary. It’s okay if it’s only just Kaihin-Sougou HS hopping aboard with us. We will only need to lend the names from other schools.”
3714
3715“He’s talking about borrowing names from others again…”
3716
3717Yuigahama’s eyes turned a little sharper. Taking her hint, I put up a bitter smile and changed my phrasing.
3718
3719“Sorry for my bad phrasing. Let’s put up a list of candidate schools that we want to negotiate with. If we keep that list, we could end up negotiating with these schools eventually. We want others to mistakenly think that we are actually carrying out the negotiations.”
3720
3721The aim of our dummy prom plan is to fish parents’ into treating it as a big problem, and thus creating another chance for the legitimacy of the prom to be questioned. At that time, our Team Stalking Horse (Team Dummy Plan) would leave the parents with an impression of being uncontrollable, which would naturally lead the parents into pessimistically supporting the controllable Yukinoshita’s plan.
3722
3723As I was talking, Sagami’s face became more serious.
3724
3725“When you mentioned disseminating the information to attract their attention.... of course it’s going to be over the Internet right?”
3726
3727“Indeed. By a simple cost benefit analysis, I reckon it’s the best plan.”
3728
3729In fact, the inception of those protests against the prom took place on those SNS as well. Conversely, it’s not hard to conclude that they also secretly check things online. With regard to the dummy prom plan, we do not need to waste our energy spreading the news to all students. We only need to leak the news to those few lousy parents. In this sense, our labor cost of promotion is actually a lot less than those of Yukinoshita’s team, except that we have to carefully craft our plans to intentionally pick the best timing and way to leak it to the parents. In any case, this is something that we need to think about at a much later stage.
3730
3731For now, we need to discuss the basic stuff in more detail.
3732
3733“First of all, we need to create an official SNS account and an official website for our prom plan… and then, I guess we need to decide on an org name for us…”
3734
3735As I spoke, I wrote down “Seeking for Names?” on the whiteboard.
3736
3737‘Why the heart mark…’ Yuigahama and the Game Club guys murmured among themselves. Eh, somehow I wanted to have it there… Only Zaimokuza didn’t seem to care about it too much, but only rubbed his chin and leaned his head aside.
3738
3739“Alright, I guess make it sound like an Anime Production Committee?”
3740
3741“Yeah, something like that, since we cannot just borrow names from the Student Council… Let’s consider names that sound effective and promising, or we could just parasitize by relying on a signboard that seemingly belongs to the Student Council.”
3742
3743The most effective way to acquire a sense of practicality from people is to obtain a signed approval from trusting organizations. Given that we cannot act in the name of Student Council, we need a similarly strong alternative - a promising organization to become our secretary or our sponsor team.
3744
3745“If the Student Council doesn’t work… ah, then how about the Club President Association?”
3746
3747Yuigahama clapped her hands suddenly as she said so. Hatano cast his eyes at her in surprise.
3748
3749“Sorry, but what permissions and authority does CPA have?”
3750
3751“Huh? No, I have no idea… But it certainly sounds like a *big* name.”
3752
3753“... sure.”
3754
3755Yuigahama put up a blank look and said so innocently. Hatano twitched his mouth yet couldn’t argue anything against her, and eventually backed off. Amazed by this situation I told myself ‘that’s just like Yuigahama’, I wrapped up my thoughts.
3756
3757“CPA currently is dissatisfied with the status quo of the prom. Therefore, CPA is considering holding an Oikon jointly among all the school clubs… If it turns out to be a large scale event, it would probably end up being something similar to a prom.
3758
3759“Heh-, that’s what you’ve been thinking. I see.”
3760
3761While reaching out to the snacks, Yuigahama said so as if being impressed. However, I replied dispassionately.
3762
3763“Nah, I actually don’t have any idea.”
3764
3765“Huh?”
3766
3767Yuigahama opened her mouth wide, as if saying ‘no idea, I don’t understand you’. Setting that aside, it seems that someone did understand me.
3768
3769“Ah, is this the so-called reality? This guy really tells too many lies…”
3770
3771“Well, his words makes sense so it’s possible to be the motivation.”
3772
3773Hatano and Sagami are halfly galled and halfly speechless. ‘This guy is a retard’, ‘His ethics are weird and twisted’ - both of them mumbled quietly to each other. Zaimokuza sitting aside also nodded and said “agreed”.
3774
3775“It’s essentially all about how we are going to make sense of it to increase our credibility, especially when others view us from outside. As for the CPA guys, I will find a way to talk to them so that’s not a problem.”
3776
3777CPA is an organization aimed at facilitating assistance between the school clubs and regularing them… I’m actually not that sure, but just by looking at its name that’s the impression I was given. It’d be great if we can have the CPA lead the prom and thus add more reality into our narratives.
3778
3779I filled the whiteboard with more lies. I shall work at my best in order to wrap things up zoi! So I encouraged myself.
3780
3781“Alright, it all looks good to go. Who is the leader of CPA?”
3782
3783I turned my head to them as I asked. Yuigahama immediately gave me the answer.
3784
3785“It’s Hatayo-kun.”
3786
3787“...... I see…… I will try to talk to him tomorrow.”
3788
3789That fell halfly within my expectation but halfly beyond… Speaking of which, I felt like I’ve heard something relevant before. Nevertheless the fact that I had to negotiate with Hayama makes me turn chicken. Ah, Hayama… Why is there not a coup d’etat that replaces him with Totsuka…
3790
3791“Sorry… The concept of the proposal looks clear to me, but the actual content of it is still hand-wavy. How could we bring it up to other people like this?”
3792
3793The atmosphere is still heavy yet Hatano chased and stroke me anyways. Life is tough. Nevertheless, I will do what needs to be done for now.
3794
3795“As for the content, well, I will come up with something that’s good-looking. For now, could you please set up the official account on the SNS? Get something dope.”
3796
3797“Okay, you can count on me. I will copy paste some low-quality content from Twitter and Instagram soooo haaard.”
3798
3799Zaimokuza responded immediately while saying that prolonged ‘soooo hard’ vehemently. Looking at Zaimokuza, Hatano seemed quite gloomy.
3800
3801“Wow, this guys quickly picked the easy job.”
3802
3803“Well, it’s fine… Give me some time to do the research.”
3804
3805After that, Sagami started playing around with his tablet and began his conversation with Hatano.
3806
3807“... we need to create some HTML?”, “How about using a builder to create a template first?”, “Let’s find an open-source program first”, “Then what about the domain and the server?”, “No idea. Let me Google first.”
3808
3809Crap. These guys were more capable than I thought… especially that the first reaction is to Google it whenever there’s anything that they didn’t understand. Very excellent with their raised awareness of being worthy otakus. Hatano’s intentions are not bad, and Sagami, unlike his sister, is a pretty serious person. The other guy, what a bad example though, as I sighed deeply. Well, I’m not suggesting Zaimokuza is useless at all. He worked so hard for my sake so I really should express my gratitude to him. I looked at Zaimokuza quietly and thought so.
3810
3811“Ah, by the way, Zaimokuza, do you have a DSLR camera?”
3812
3813“Yep, I bought it because I’d look cool with it.”
3814
3815I can feel him… Thinking it’d be cool to have photograph as one’s hobby, you yearned for it so much that you eventually bought it. However, after that, you ended up not using it at all, but instead your smartphone camera to take photos.
3816
3817“Could you bring it over tomorrow? To create materials for our website, I’d be great if have a professional camera.”
3818
3819“Alright. Also along with the camera I bought introductions to photography tutorials. I can bring them too and we can read these still brand new books.”
3820
3821I can feel that again… these how-to’s. You buy them but never actually read or consume them.
3822
3823Well, if we are going to use them for photography, we can skim through it as long as they can serve as good references. I thought so as I tapped Zaimokuza’s shoulder.
3824
3825Three of them were all assigned their job. I was thinking about myself while Yuigahama suddenly tapped my shoulder.
3826
3827“What about me?”
3828
3829“You are… the art director!”
3830
3831“Sounds so cool!”
3832
3833Looking at her happy face, I also broke out my smile.
3834
3835“Yep, with your perfect sense of art please supervise our website and give it a shining, exciting and mindless design.
3836
3837“Your way of speaking!”
3838
3839Yuigahama shouted vehemently, and her anger lasted a while before it was dissolved. She then leaned her head and asked.
3840
3841“What about you, Hikki-?”
3842
3843“I will lay down the basis for the proposal and the design. For now, I need to do some research and write the proposals for our discussions later.”
3844
3845As I was saying so, I promptly packed up my belongings. The Game Club room is an acceptable place to work, but since there’s no available computer for me, it’d be hard for me to do any research.
3846
3847As soon as I stood up, Yuigahama also packed her stuff and got prepared to head out. Why is she prepared to go back? I cast my questioning eyes to her. Yuigahama carried her backpack in her back, smiled proudly and said.
3848
3849“When it comes to connecting dots between the proposal and the design, you need help from the art director right?”
3850
3851“... you are right.”
3852
3853I relaxed my face and nodded. Then I looked around the club room. Zaimokuza was fired up collecting information from the SNS. Sagami and Hatano loudly argued their approach to creating the website. Okay, it looked like I can rely on them.
3854
3855“... so I’m counting on you all next.”
3856
3857“Good work! See you tomorrow!”
3858
3859Somehow we felt sorry for leaving the room early, so we said farewell to them quietly. Both Yuigahama and I then left the club room.
3860
3861After we entered the corridor, Yuigahama, who walked next me, asked me.
3862
3863“Where shall we work?”
3864
3865“Wherever there’s equipment fit for our work… Let’s say, an Internet cafe?”
3866
3867“Can we watch DVD there?”
3868
3869“Yep. We can borrow the blu-ray player and then we can watch the recordings. By the way there’s also unlimited supply of ice cream.”
3870
3871“I see. Then let’s go there!”
3872
3873Yuigahama then picked up her pace immediately. To avoid being left behind, I also fastened my pace.
3874
3875
3876
3877
3878
38795-4
3880
3881
3882
3883
3884
3885We left the school and first stopped by the video rental shop. While I was lingering in between the anime shelves, Yuigahama quickly rented the recordings she wanted. We then headed over to the Internet cafe. I would say the entire process was quite smooth so far.
3886
3887Yet soon after that, I got stumbled at somewhere unexpected.
3888
3889"How are we going to pick the seatings?"
3890
3891"Eh, well... let me see..."
3892
3893At the reception desk of the cafe, we repeated the dialogue above for about three times. The clerk there only smiled at us, but after the second repetition his smile froze instantly.
3894
3895"I need to work on a computer so I guess a reclining chair is preferred..."
3896
3897I pointed at the Room Guide and gently expressed my concerns. Yuigahama agreed with me.
3898
3899"Right, but if we want to write the proposal and create the design there, wouldn't it be better if we can watch the movie at the same time?"
3900
3901Yuigahama pointed at a photo of a double-chair room, in which besides a computer, there was also a TV set. It indeed seems more convenient to be able to watch the movie while simultaneously do the work.
3902
3903"However, it'll be tough if the computer doesn't have Microsoft Office installed."
3904
3905Word processing software is indispensable for writing articles. I’m not saying a simple text editor doesn't do the job, but when it comes to writing proposals, software such as Word or PowerPoint certainly makes things easier. As I explained it to Yuigahama, she seemed a little bit discouraged.
3906
3907"I see..."
3908
3909She breathed out in relief. The nice clerk, who hadn't complained a single word at our exchange of conversations but merely watched over us, finally interrupted us with a smile.
3910
3911"We do have a double-chair room with a computer that has Microsoft Office preinstalled."
3912
3913What a god-like interruption! Yuigahama quickly put up a happy face and thanked the clerk.
3914
3915"Oh that's great! Thank you so much! ... He said we can have all!"
3916
3917What now then? She asked me. Well, checkmate. I lost the game.
3918
3919"So, please get us the double-chair room..."
3920
3921I pointed at the double-chair room photo with my trembling finger.
3922
3923The clerk gave us a warm smile that even surpassed the temperature of the air-conditioned room. He quickly processed our request, and then walked us to the room. His eyes were so gentle and it even made me feel embarrassed and started scratching myself under my sweated coat.
3924
3925It's not like I hate the double-chair room. It makes me feel embarrassed, or should I say the confined space makes me feel very uneasy to act or do anything. It's just very troubling for me.
3926
3927The booth turned out to be only 2 Jo (40 sq ft or 3.6m^2). I was holding a glass of beverage I took from the drink bar, so it took me some effort to get myself seated.
3928
3929"Just in case, I actually did some research about the prom beforehand."
3930
3931Yuigahama got seated before I did and promptly started to prepare to play the DVDs she borrowed. She pressed the play button on the remote control. I tried to move to one side of the chair, booted up the computer and started working. While writing down the outline of my proposal, I peeked at the screen and momoed down anything that seize my attention or seem to be usable for the prom.
3932
3933When the movie was about to enter the prom scene, Yuigahama tapped my shoulder to let me know.
3934
3935"I don't think we have this kind of building in our school. It seems to a dance hall, I think? Ah, but the one we just saw took place outdoor."
3936
3937"We didn't decide on a place yet. Since the prom will be jointly held by multiple schools, it might seem more realistic on the proposal to decide on a place that doesn't belong any of the participating schools."
3938
3939I wrote down my thoughts on the memo as I spoke. Yuigahama seemed quite impressed and nodded a couple times.
3940
3941"I see... So for example, like Destinyland?"
3942
3943"That's not financially feasible."
3944
3945"I know... Just wanted to say it."
3946
3947Yuigahama pouted her lips unhappily and turned away from me. She took a sip from the cocoa that she was holding. Her reaction was so heartwarming to me, that I stopped typing on the keyboard and couldn't hold but break my smiles.
3948
3949"Well, at least it does look very Chiba-like."
3950
3951"Although rest of the world probably thinks it's just very Tokyo-like."
3952
3953"It is from Chiba!"
3954
3955"How stubborn!"
3956
3957Yuigahama covered her smile and exclaimed to my words.
3958
3959As is expected from the place, our quieter-than-usual conversation came to sound like pillow talks, regardless our topics of discussion. A dark room that got separated from the outside world. Perhaps for this reason, we were able to see each other's appearances slightly more clearly than usual.
3960
3961Yuigahama tightly hugged a rolled-up blanket, instead of a cushion, along with her knees in front of her.
3962
3963"Hmmm then, what about Crescent Moon King Palace Hotel?"
3964
3965"That's so Chiba-like! But not quite prom-like."
3966
3967"That's not true. I used to have a family trip there."
3968
3969As soon as she finished speaking she grabbed her smartphone and started looking for the photos. After she scrolling down the screen a couple times with her finger she seemed to find it. She then straightened her waist and slanted towards me.
3970
3971"See!"
3972
3973Shown to me was Yuigahama's selfie. In the photo, Yuigahama was wearing a T-shirt and at the top was her face along with a peace gesture (V sign) in front of it. Behind her was a swimming pool at night filled with laser and neon lights in the background. Unfortunately not fully captured in the photo, there was also Yuigahama's mom in swimming suit resting relaxedly on a beach chair. Gahamom, so young... Genes are formidable.
3974
3975Ah, well, this is not the important thing. The pool is. My point being, the swimming pool really seized attentions for its excessively gorgeous and luxurious decorations surrounding it, even more so than a live concert hall. I looked at the pool in the background again.
3976
3977"What's up that pool? So lewd... Is it the so-called nightpool? Totally party mood..."
3978
3979"Not... not lewd at at all!"
3980
3981Yuigahama's face quickly turned red. She started hitting my feet with her rolled-up blanket. She then rapidly flipped over her smartphone screen and showed me the official website of the hotel - hey look, am I right?
3982
3983Judging from the front page of the official website, the hotel did look quite wholesome, giving me an impression of beauty and gorgeousness.
3984
3985"Well at least it seems more financially feasible than the previous one... By the way, is it open outside summer?"
3986
3987"Yep, seems like it does."
3988
3989Yuigahama nodded and showed me the smartphone screen. I peeked at the screen briefly and saw '365 days all year round' and stuff... How terrific is King Palace Castle! Makes me really want to go now...
3990
3991"But just one thing, it's kind of far away from here... I'd like to take the photographs somewhere closer."
3992
3993As I thought so, I opened my unfinished proposal folder. Speaking of the website design, I really wanted an impactful and impressive image as its background, but unfortunately it seemed that it might take a while to decide on the location and other stuff at this point. So let's set it aside for now.
3994
3995Yuigahama was also thinking about it. Her voice, however, was mixed with yawns.
3996
3997"Hmmm, photos... Uhhah, what about by the ocean?"
3998
3999"Ocean? Where?"
4000
4001"The one that's close to our school?"
4002
4003"That's just the Tokyo Bay though..."
4004
4005It's not even Chiba Bay sadly... Resort land or factory night scene might even be good but just a normal beach in winter doesn't look photogenic at all.
4006
4007However, Yuigahama didn't seem to agree with me. She used her shoulder to push over my shoulder as if she was little angry at me. She then began explaining slowly.
4008
4009"It's a good choice in my opinion. Or perhaps I should say it's *that* ocean that makes it a great choice. We can even see it from our school, right?"
4010
4011"Ah, yeah."
4012
4013"And then, that scene when it's evening, like usual, the sun sets over the sea... Every time I see it, I always marvel at its beauty, and cherish the fun I have for the day."
4014
4015She closed her eyes and whispered as if she was dreaming it.
4016
4017She didn't mention when or where, but despite so, I was quite certain that she was referring to *that* sunset *there*.
4018
4019Right before the sun disappears at the horizon of the ocean, just for a brief moment, *that* room was filled with sunshine.
4020
4021Having been seen countless times, it’s definitely not anything special - it’s only an ubiquitous sunset scenery.
4022
4023I took it for granted, so much, that I forgot what conversations I had, what books I read, but were able to vaguely delineate and casually consume *that* sunset.
4024
4025"That is..."
4026
4027The sentence was cut off, and then resumed. The weight on my shoulders had become more concrete and realistic.
4028
4029"I was thinking… if only days like these can go on forever..."
4030
4031She said so with such a gentle voice that almost disappeared immediately. I waited until her words completely dissolved in the air, and then nodded my head.
4032
4033"...yeah, right..."
4034
4035Perhaps because it was too long of a pause to call it a conversation, she did not respond to me. Instead, only 'suu, suu' peaceful breathing could be heard. My shoulder could feel the soft weight on it.
4036
4037The movie already reached its climax.
4038
4039
4040
4041
4042
4043Perhaps it wouldn't be long before the closing credits started rolling. Even if I wanted to skip back, I wouldn't know where to skip to, since I only watched half of the movie and gave up.
4044
4045Should I let the movie play and keep watching it until it ends?
4046
4047Or, should I skip back to the very beginning and start it over?
4048
4049Or even, should I keep what I've been doing - keep pretending that I'm not watching?
4050
4051I had no time to worry about it, as the closing credits already started rolling.
4052
4053
4054
4055
4056
4057Interlude 4
4058
4059
4060
4061
4062I pretend that I’m sleeping.
4063
4064I hope the movie never ends, just as it is playing right now.
4065
4066I’d be better if the end of the movie never comes.
4067
4068I can clearly feel the body temperature on my face. It is a lot higher than I thought. I try to be mindful, not moving my body by even a single inch. The slightly hardened and straightened shoulder is bigger than I thought.
4069
4070He moves only his other hand, with his fingers hitting the keyboard quietly. Sometimes after a while, I can hear that he briefly halts his work and makes a barely audible sigh.
4071
4072He quietly brings up the blanket that only covered my knees, but then he suddenly stops as I feel a little itchy and make a sound. I try to cover that sound with my sleeping breath. He then pulls up another blanket of his own and covers my body all the way up to my shoulder.
4073
4074The movie is about to end.
4075
4076The lengthy credit keeps rolling and rolling in the end. That way, I have to keep pretending that I’m sleeping. Yet again, I’m making another lie.
4077
4078I came all the way, until this moment, pretending that I didn’t see anything, pretending that I didn’t know anything, pretending that I didn’t understand anything.
4079
4080Nevertheless, I actually know and have noticed everything - that doing things like this, that the conclusion has already been drawn, that the ending is already settled.
4081
4082However, this is the only thing I can do. This is the only way that I can think of.
4083
4084So that we can be together, owning the time that we spend together, cherishing the place that all three of us can stay. I believe I have tried to do everything that I can to make this happen.
4085
4086I know it - that I’m cunning, that I’m making excuses, that I’m lying. I know all that.
4087
4088But still, please let our time together go on, even if it’s really just a little longer.
4089
4090I will make sure it ends properly.
4091
4092I won’t make any other wishes, even if needed.
4093
4094I will stop the tears that are about to pour out whenever, even if I don’t know exactly when they’d come out.
4095
4096So please. Please give me a place to cry - a place where nobody can see.
4097
4098So please. Please make the lies that I always tell to myself somehow become real.
4099
4100So please. Please let her and me somehow end our relationship properly.
4101
4102So please.
4103
4104Please do not let us end it.
4105
4106
4107
4108
4109
4110Chapter 6: Without anybody knowing, Hayama Hayato is regretting.
4111
4112
4113It’s always a serious matter of being dead or alive when it comes to battling with the deadline.
4114
4115Therefore, not only are people willing to do anything to survive in the end, but also willing to sacrifice their sleeping time, to stay overnight for two or three days in order to somehow finish their tasks in hand, even if that means losing almost all their hair or almost having a complete mental or physical breakdown.
4116
4117As a result, people end up with all kinds of sufferings. Well, to be more specific, head, shoulders, back, stomach, heart, body, and… everything that a human being possesses. Hmm, since the cells on my body are working anyways, does that mean instead, I no longer have to work?
4118
4119I managed to finish the skeleton of the proposal and the design sketch by the end of morning. Holding all the tiredness from my body, I walked to school before the start of the first class. I almost slept through all the classes before noon.
4120
4121Even when school started, I laid on the table lazily without thinking or paying attention to anything.
4122
4123Occupied by tiredness, I just wanted to yield to sleepiness and bury my head in my arms, so that later after school I could wake up and face things with a more serious face again.
4124
4125I spent the last homeroom time resting my chin in my hand drowsily, like rowing a boat. Just like this I had my heart and body falling in deep hibernation until the bell for the end of last class sounded.
4126
4127I put my bag, coat and scarf on the table, and then stretched my hardened shoulder and back as much as I wanted. I stood up steadily.
4128
4129After rubbing my sleep-deprived eyes, I turned back to check out the back of the classroom as usual. Just as I was doing so, Yuigahama, who was talking to Miura-san, noticed me and halted her conversation temporarily. She walked towards me with her quick steps.
4130
4131“Leaving already?”
4132
4133“Ah yeah”
4134
4135As I responded with a husky voice, Yuigahama reacted with small whining “Whoa.”
4136
4137“Hikki-, your face is awful.”
4138
4139“Seriously…?”
4140
4141Yuigahama took out her hand mirror from her uniform pocket and raised it in front of my face. ‘Ugh, so shiny. I feel like I’m about to disappear’ I said to myself. I looked like a zombie - my rotten-fish eyes were rotting even faster due to lack of sleep. I could even see the marks left by my hands where I rested my chin.
4142
4143“Let me wash my face quickly”
4144
4145“Yeah, sure. I’ll wait in the corridor”
4146
4147Leaving the classroom, with my body shaking like Zombieland-Chiba, I headed over to the washroom.
4148
4149After splashing some cold water onto my face, I felt a lot more refreshed. In addition to that, “pan-pan” - I clapped my face and said “Ganbare, me!” I sounded like a second-year salarywoman to cheer myself up.
4150
4151As I headed back to the classroom corridor, as promised, Yuigahama was waiting for me in front of the classroom door.
4152
4153“Sorry for making you wait”
4154
4155Yuigahama shook her head to simply suggest that she didn’t wait too much. She handed over my bag, coat and all my other stuff together she was holding over her shoulder, saying, “Here you go.”
4156
4157“Thank you!”
4158
4159While I took my stuff and expressed my gratefulness, Yuigahama had her usual smile showing on her face again, shaking her head as if to refuse my thankfulness.
4160
4161On our way to the game club, though we exchanged a few words, due to sleepiness I still felt like I wasn’t quite myself. So I tried to stifle my yawns.
4162
4163Noticing this after looking at me, Yuigahama started to feel a little despondent.
4164
4165“Ah, by the way, sorry for what happened yesterday that led to your lack of sleep today.”
4166
4167“It’s okay… Conversely, it really helped that you came up with some great ideas.”
4168
4169Yuigahama apologized to me for accidentally falling asleep at the Internet Cafe. Perhaps she was trying to compensate for that - on our way sending her back home, she offered me a couple more perspectives, suggestions and ideas with respect to the prom design plan. Thanks to those suggestions, with just pulling a single all nighter I was able to put forward a rough sketch of the proposal and the design plan. Well, by cost benefit analysis it all added up to zero. It worked out and looked well on the balance sheet.
4170
4171Yuigahama didn’t need to be worried about me. To be honest, I was the one to be blamed, for carelessly yawning in front of her, which made her worry about me. So from now on, I’ll tighten my eyebrows and keep my face straight!
4172
4173“... Well, it’s no problem since I no longer feel sleepy”
4174
4175Yuigahama looked at me vacantly, and then suddenly went “Phff!” and smiled.
4176
4177“What’s that funny face about?”
4178
4179“My face…?”
4180
4181Well that was quite bitter and unnice to me but... fine. Good that I got my mood switched before entering the game club room.
4182
4183What a messy room as usual! As I tried to navigate myself along the mess, I could hear voices coming out from inside the room.
4184
4185“‘First, migrate the server using PHP and prepare for a database backup.”
4186
4187“What is this? No way, I don’t understand”
4188
4189“‘Then use JavaScript to further enhance the site, and CSS to set up the design…”
4190
4191“Ugh, how far is this going to push back the deadline?”
4192
4193Now I could see both Hatano and Sagami clearly - it sounded like they were talking about the website and both of their faces were full of despair. It looked like they worked quite hard to do their research, and as a result, they were both stroken hard by the reality.
4194
4195And, there was this guy on the other side wearing a truthfully evil smile on his face while scrolling through the SNS. Of course, I was talking about Zaimokuza.
4196
4197I wanted to say hello bearing my genuine thankfulness of their hard work, but then as I made up my mind, I ended up just mumbling “Usu/hello there” to them. Noticing me, three of them replied to me one by one cheerfully, “Hey there, good work!”, “Otsukare!” and “Hey!”. Well, that’s exactly the kind of greetings between guys!
4198
4199Following that, Yuigahama also cheerfully raised her hand and greeted them.
4200
4201“Yahallo!!”
4202
4203That greeting completely froze the air in the clubroom.
4204
4205“What… what’s that Yahallo...?”
4206
4207“Ehhh, that girl is dangerously yabai, yabai, yabeeee.”
4208
4209….well, that’s the normal reaction human beings should have! I do not blame them. Yet with that reaction we are never going to get things done peacefully.
4210
4211“Please don’t make a fuss over it for now. I have something important to tell you guys.”
4212
4213I pulled out a chair to sit down and cleared my throat. Hatano and others also got ready to hear what I had to say and straightened up their bodies. Confirming that everyone was ready to hear me, I solemnly opened my mouth.
4214
4215“Starting from today, we the Prom Executive Committee will all greet each other with ‘Yahallo’! No objection!”
4216
4217“Is this guy seriously a moron...?”
4218
4219“Something is wrong with his brain.”
4220
4221Looks like Hatano was honestly shocked, and meanwhile Sagami showed his genuine face of sympathy towards something so pathetic.
4222
4223“Hold… hold on wait a second, Hikki…! This is seriously very embarrassing to me so please stop.”
4224
4225Yuigahama kept her shy blushing face down and dragged my sleeve as if begging me to stop.
4226
4227Seeing this cute animal-like behavior, Sagami pushed up his glasses and Hatano took off his. Both of them scrubbed their eyes as if they just beheld a very touching moment…
4228
4229“Ah well. Let’s go with Yahallo. It’s good!”
4230
4231“Yeah. Yahallo is good...”
4232
4233“Correct. Here we go everyone, three, two, one…”
4234
4235Zaimokuza led the crowd and, following his countdown, everyone sang Yahallo together.
4236
4237“Yahallo--”
4238
4239“Stop. Now.”
4240
4241With tears still remaining in her eyes, Yuigahama stared at us and said it with an extremely cold and scary voice. Silence befell the clubroom. Seeing everyone kept so quiet, I felt compelled to steer the topic towards something else. Otherwise, Gahama-san will stay angry for sure!
4242
4243“Let’s jump into our main subject today.”
4244
4245I pulled out the freshly-produced copies of the proposal and design sketches, passing them over to everyone. I started explaining them, with my fingers guiding my explanation.
4246
4247“I want the front page to be loaded with a huge background picture with information about the event on top of it. This is to attract attention and thus facilitate people’s discussions about it on the SNS. The front page doesn’t have to be too exquisite or refined. Try to keep it simple and smartly decorated. I have found a sample page for you guys for reference and you just have to try your best to copy exactly the design layout of it. As for the background picture, just assume that you have it already for now. Once it is ready, we’ll just need to swap it in.”
4248
4249Hatano looked at the stack of (web development) resources they compiled, and then turned to my design sketch. He couldn’t hold back but expressed his astonishment.
4250
4251“What’s up with all the effort that we have put in so far… This sounds like all we have to spawn is an easy blog thing.”
4252
4253“Hey, things getting easier for us is definitely a great thing that we should feel happy about. Don’t say anything extra thing or complain. Else, he’s gonna add more work to us...”
4254
4255Sagami dragged and held Hatano’s arm firmly, as Hatano was about to keep grumbling. Apparently Sagami didn’t want Hatano to say anything more. Oh Sagami the little brother, you know the rules of society too well. You have to potential and the talent to become a great Shachiku (Wage Slave in Japan). Speaking of which, I’m impressed, or should I say terrified, by how much you guys were able to pull up a research marathon on building the website.
4256
4257Zaimokuza, who apparently enjoyed the fact that he didn’t have to help with all the design work, looked at my design sketch with satisfaction, nodded his head couple times and folded up his arms.
4258
4259“So, how’s the proposal going?”
4260
4261“This is what I have for now. I’m currently proposing a collaboration with Kaihin-Sougo HS. It might be too specific so that it might be hard for you to understand.”
4262
4263Zaimokuza took the proposal that I passed over and read them all at once. He then turned his head and called Hatano. Hatano only looked at the front page of the proposal and said,
4264
4265“Seriously what is this I do not understand...”
4266
4267“This crappy proposal looks like some ads pamphlet for a newly built apartment or a cover for a newly released business book… Why do you include diagrams on ‘Johari Window’ and ‘Maslow’s hierarchy of needs’ in the proposal?”
4268
4269Hatano quickly picked up the proposal sheets that fell off to the table and gave it to Sagami, flipping the pages one by one. A few pages into the proposal, Sagami the little brother started to hold and squeeze his head in his hands.
4270
4271So as I warned you guys beforehand… An unpleasant memory flowed back into my mind again as I took another look at the front page of the proposal. Sternly written there, typeset using very stylish fonts was “Blockchain Type Diversity Inclusion - Proposal for the Prom Event ~ Sunset Beach with Waterfront aside… A Serendipity Experience inside an Ultimate Translucent Space~”. Even as the creator of that title, I could no longer grasp any of its meaning.
4272
4273Even a proud person like myself couldn’t withstand the embarrassment caused by seeing the title. “Ahem Ahem”. I soon tried to cough to cover up and avoid talking about it further.
4274
4275“... Well. Those are the bluff parts. To be honest, whatever it is as long as the Kaihin-Sougo side can be hooked into our plan.”
4276
4277“Wow even this kind of trap (which also means bait in JP) can hook them up. Are they mullets?”
4278
4279You are very wrong, Hatano. Tamanawa-san isn’t that omnivorous at all. Don’t mix him up with heretic animals like mullets or blowfishes. Well they are very delicious dishes I have to say. He possesses such a strong self-esteem that could be called the Majesty Overlord. Yet finally the moment has come - for the first time the Overlord is going to be fished by us!
4280
4281Hatano already gave up reading the proposal a while ago. Sagami, in contrast, still had the patience to keep on reading it. Eventually, Sagami finished reading it and nodded his head, mumbling “Yep, okay, okay”.
4282
4283“Wow. The content itself looks very promising.”
4284
4285“I know, right?” Yuigahama quickly followed up happily.
4286
4287Almost at the same time, Sagami tilted his mouth. “I feel like my sister is going to like this.”
4288
4289Yuigahama seemed a little surprise with a “Heh…” sound, but she quickly held her reaction back with another “Ugu.”
4290
4291“Alright. Just by reading it, this disgusting proposal looks like it’s gonna make people vomit, right out from my stomach.”
4292
4293“The only thing that gets us relieved - is that we have to make sure this proposal does not get chosen and realized.”
4294
4295Respectively, Zaimokuza moaned his last sentence out with a voice full of hatred; Hatano said his words as if disgusted by the smell of rotten fish.
4296
4297Oh well, anyways. I can sense that perhaps Yuigahama just made a pitiful expression on her face; in any case, with that little reaction, I can assure that she does not feel like there’s anything inherently wrong with the proposal.
4298
4299In additional to the great ideas of “collaborating with local elementary schools, middle schools and high schools”, the proposal was further nourished by Yuigahama’s flashy ideas - this was so perfect so that even I myself was trembling with fear.
4300
4301In the end, we couldn’t come up with anything that’s flashy and arbitrary enough that diverges too much away from Yukinoshita’s old proposal. We just decided to play around and “temper” the staging and the location of the prom a little bit.
4302
4303Imagine this scenario. Sunset by the sea, surrounded by campfire, a seaside live-house has been set up just like those Shounan Beach Events. We will plan to hold our prom there. Actually no, we just have to make use of this “set up”. Taking into account the possibility of rain, we can then propose a Plan B - also discuss the possibility of negotiations with Mikatsuki Ryuguu Castle Hotel just so we can also hold our prom there as a backup option.
4304
4305Wow, scary Hachiman. I’m scared by my ability to BS so well. If I keep cultivating my BS skills, I’m afraid soon the HRs from those advertisement conglomerate companies will start reaching out to me. As my imagination drifted further away, Yuigahama, maybe dissatisfied by the fact that she sided with Sagami the sister, raised her head up from reading the proposal and then frowned at me.
4306
4307“Even though Kaihin-Sougou might be okay with our proposal, what about Hayato?”
4308
4309“Ahh, as for him… It might be still too early for us to tell him face to face”
4310
4311“Hmmm?”
4312
4313As I indirectly brought up some bitter part of my experience with Hayato from the past, Yuigahama tilted her head aside, looked totally puzzled. Honestly, it’s not like the experience was puzzling or strange in particular.
4314
4315Cheap tricks won’t work for Hayato, in my opinion. I’m afraid even if I explained the content of our proposals cautiously enough, in front of someone as smart as Hayato, the fact that our proposal was just a stalking horse would soon get exposed. For this reason, to avoid causing extra effort or trouble to explain everything, and to avoid complicating things up, perhaps it’s better just to tell him straightforwardly that our proposal is just a dummy plan, before explaining its actual content. For sure, that will make things easier to proceed.
4316
4317“Alright! That’s it. I’m counting on you all.”
4318
4319Saying that, I finally concluded our meeting. Although the responses were cold and sporadic, they all got their hands busy right away.
4320
4321Hatano and Sagami continued their fight into how they should go about designing the websites, leaving alone Yuigahama aside just nodding her head saying “Um, um”.
4322
4323“Emm, that’s not cute enough.”
4324
4325“... Eh, can you be more specific?” Sagami asked Yuigahama respectfully.
4326
4327“Well, let’s say, make it a little more shining shiny, like this…”
4328
4329While scratching her head, Yuigahama tried her best to describe her abstract opinions more concretely, so that she could somehow make Sagami and Hatano understand them.
4330
4331I watched them from aside, listening to their non-stopping interactions and exchange of conversations pleasantly. On the other end of my eyesight Zaimokuza seemed to be doing something rustling.
4332
4333“Hachiman, I brought the digital camera you requested.”
4334
4335Speaking of which, he carefully placed a bulky DSLR camera on the desk. In addition, he began stacking books titled like “Intro to DSLR Tutorials”.
4336
4337“Oh, thank you! I will make good use of them for the moment… Just in case, please teach me how to operate this camera.”
4338
4339“Of course, leave it to me! I’m not professional per se but let’s just follow the instruction manual and let’s go~”
4340
4341“Hey, isn’t this your camera?”
4342
4343How could this guy not know how to operate his own stuff… Zaimokuza loudly proclaimed that he is proud of his ignorance. On one hand, he taught me some of the basic operations, on the other hand, he quickly scanned through the instruction manual while keep saying “Okay, I see, I see”.
4344
4345A while later, perhaps he’s getting a little tired and ignored, Zaimokuza coughed a couple times. And then, for some reason, he averted his eyes, blushed and said,
4346
4347“I have thought about… the name.”
4348
4349“Oh… really”
4350
4351This is something that’s far beyond what’s urgent or necessary for now… Well, I’m listening anyways. Zaimokuza took out from his coat pocket a piece of doubly folded paper and handed it over to me. Apparently, he wants me to open and see it…
4352
4353It can’t be helped. I had to briefly halt my work on reading the camera tutorial, and unfold that piece of paper. What I then saw was a unnecessarily well written work of calligraphy that says,
4354
4355“Soubu HS Prom Saikou Project”
4356
4357What the hell is this? Having my “camera reading” focus zone totally ruined, I suddenly remembered something from yesterday…
4358
4359“Oh, the name!”
4360
4361We had a discussion during yesterday’s meeting about the name of our committee. Apparently I wrote “Committee Name: Actively Looking for Recommendations ❤️” on the whiteboard and this guy actually took it seriously. Zaimokuza coughed twice again and then fluttered his coat edge with dignity.
4362
4363“That’s right! The aforementioned ‘Saikou’ means…”
4364
4365“Ah ah, stop there. Alright, it’s okay, we all get it.”
4366
4367“Umm… okay I see.”
4368
4369Apparently Zaimokuza was let down, his face quickly turned to drooping. I bet he was trying to say something along the lines of including “Supreme” or “Reconsideration” in the context. Well, whatevs. The key is to make the name easy enough to understand and stupid enough to reflect its dumbness. Considering these two points, the name isn’t unexpectedly unfit for the job. Especially this pun on words would definitely leave a SUPREMELY dumb and stupid impression on people. This was great.
4370
4371“We can settle on this title. Thanks!”
4372
4373“Wut??”
4374
4375Probably because I said it too lightheartedly, Zaimokuza was speechlessly surprised. Seeing that, Hatano passed that piece of paper back to Sagami.
4376
4377“The Committee Name, as it’s settled let’s all count on it!”
4378
4379“What…”
4380
4381“Seriously…”
4382
4383Both Hatano and Sagami’s faces turned stiff, making wry, bitter smiles at me. After seeing their reactions, Yuigahama nevertheless looked pretty satisfied, “Isn’t it great!”
4384
4385“Hmmm, oh, ah, okay, I see. Is it that great…” Finally able to read into the air and grasp the situation, Zaimokuza tried to cover his shyness by coughing twice again, thereby digesting his ecstacy completely before it leaked out.
4386
4387In fact, I think there’s going to be an even better title in the future. Please stay tuned and let’s all look forward to the next masterpiece from Zaimokuza Yoshiteru-Sensei!
4388
4389
4390
4391
4392
43936-2
4394
4395
4396The sun was setting slowly. The last ray of sunshine flowed into the Game Club Room.
4397
4398It was about time for other school clubs to also conclude their daily activity.
4399
4400Sounds from those heavy bands could no longer be heard. Roars from the rugby club had also stopped for a while. Standing up from my seat and peaking into the schoolyard, I noticed that it was also about time for the soccer club to wrap their day up as well.
4401
4402“Alright, this is about it. Everyone please clean up your own things and we can call it a day.”
4403
4404As I turned my face back from peaking out of the window and told them to wrap up, the club room soon got filled up with sighs arised from exhaustion, and clicking sounds coming from head rotation and relaxed shoulders. Yuigahama, not unexpectedly, also relaxed her shoulder and meanwhile turned her body facing me.
4405
4406“Are you going to check with Hayato?”
4407
4408“Yeah.”
4409
4410As soon as I finished speaking, Yuigahama took out her smartphone and brought it close in front of her lips.
4411
4412“Should I contact him now?”
4413
4414“Hmm let me think. No, nope, actually. It’s better to just catch him on the spot.”
4415
4416That took me just a flash of a second to change my mind.
4417
4418Means of communications, such as phones or messenger apps, are in fact very unreliable and incomplete tools. Using tools like these, getting ignored means pretty much the end of the day. “Oh, I didn’t notice your message”, “I was sleeping then”, “It ran out of battery then”, “I lost my phone unfortunately”, “In fact, I do not have a LINE account”, these are all kinds of excuses that poured out of my memory. There are even rare cases like “Oh, I actually do not have a phone”, myself being the source.
4419
4420But after all, Hayato is very unlikely to ignore messages from Yuigahama. If it does happen though and we have to reschedule and start over things on another day, that’d be very problematic, since we simply won’t have enough time left. Hence, we HAVE to take our chance and get it done today.
4421
4422Yuigahama was probably thinking along the same lines, and nodded to me.
4423
4424“I see… but just to be safe, I’ll still send him a message on LINE anyways. I’ll let you know as soon as he replies.”
4425
4426“Sure. Please do me the favor.”
4427
4428As I said it, I quickly packed things up and left the Game Club room.
4429
4430After leaving the staircase, I promptly set my foot towards the courtyard.
4431
4432The courtyard lies in between the main building and the special-purpose building. Since the courtyard was blocked by buildings from all directions, the night fades in there earlier than all other places on campus. It’s worth noticing that the columns located in the east under the main buildings naturally fall under the shadows of the special-purpose building, thereby leaving the darkness even thicker underneath.
4433
4434Suddenly, a piece of shadow moved across in that darkness.
4435
4436I tried to focus my eyes on that shadow and finally I could see there seemed to be someone standing in front of the vending machine under the building. As I walked closer towards there, gradually I could identify that the figure apparently belonged to a girl.
4437
4438She probably just bought something to drink from the vending machine. I could hear something had just dropped out from inside the vending machine. She squatted down, picked up the drink from the vending machine and stood up. That long, glamorously charming dark hair of hers waved in the wind. The vending machine cast cold, green-white colored light onto her white, slender face. She smiled gently, a scene that was so unrealistic and so surreal.
4439
4440That was Yukinoshita Yukino. I couldn’t possibly have mistaken her.
4441
4442Yukino firmly held the coffee can and gently put on her feather coat without her arms going through the sleeves. She then slowly walked towards the courtyard, sitting down on the bench located in the middle of the courtyard and aimlessly staring into the sky.
4443
4444As if trying to penetrate the bench, the withered tree groves were lit up by the streetlights, where orange light passed down through the dry twigs that were already devoid of leaves.
4445
4446All of this looked like it came out from a piece of painting. I sensed a feeling that compelled and drove me to just stare at this painting whenever and forever.
4447
4448However, unfortunately, without passing through the courtyard I could reach neither the soccer court nor the bike parking lot. So, feeling sorry in mind that I was about to ruin this already-perfect scenery, I decided to step into the scene.
4449
4450Soon, she noticed the footstep and looked at me.
4451
4452“Oh, isn’t this Mr. Hikigaya?”
4453
4454“Ah… yeah…”
4455
4456Seeing that Yukinoshita’s facial expression regained composure and that her smile returned, I used my jaw to nod in response to her greetings.
4457
4458Yukinoshita was holding the coffee can to warm her hands up. But after seeing me, she sighed and hid the coffee can behind her. That’s no use. No matter how you hide it, with that featured packaging, color and design there was no way I could possible miss it.
4459
4460“It’s rare for you to drink that.”
4461
4462“It’s perfect for sugar and energy replenishment.”
4463
4464She showed a very superficial smile to me, as she spoke, with her face dyed in dim red. She closed up her coat as if she was hugging herself, and hid the coffee can inside. Finally she recognized the charm of MAX Coffee! That’s a good thing.
4465
4466I quickly peeked at the soccer court - it looked like they were still busy tidying things up. Maybe I should wait a little longer before I go over and catch Hayama.
4467
4468Using only eye contact, I asked Yukinoshita if I could sit next to her. She nodded, and immediately moved her body away from the center of the bench, leaving some empty room that was just wide enough to for another person to sit down. So I did.
4469
4470“Taking a break?”, I asked.
4471
4472“Yeah, in order to breathe in some fresh air outdoor.”
4473
4474While answering my question, Yukinoshita quickly cast her eyes back to the main building. In that direction laid the Student Council room, in which the lights were still on. Unlike the Service Club room, almost alway empty, deserted and desolated, in the Student Council room since there’s a heater that Isshiki decided to bring over, people must have been living a pleasantly warm life there.
4475
4476“I know right. The heater is too effective so that people easily get drowsy with it.”
4477
4478I had to agree with her, since I remembered that thanks to a lot of stuff stacked in the Game Club room blocking air ventilation, that place also inevitably confines a lot of heat. Hearing my words, Yukinoshita was amused and laughed merrily with her mouth covered.
4479
4480“Well, with that reasoning it looks like you always stay in a heated room, am I right? I’m a little worried about the electricity bill.”
4481
4482“Don’t worry. It all gets balanced by the coldness coming from other people’s indifferent, nonchalant gaze on me.”
4483
4484“You really live an eco-friendly life.”
4485
4486Yukinoshita shrugged her shoulders. I also mocked myself with a tilted smile on one side of my lip,
4487
4488“Well, having this repeated hot-and-cold pattern is great, certainly even better if served in a sauna room. It gets my life in order.”
4489
4490“I wonder if you know the correct usage of ‘get something in order’.”
4491
4492“No, maybe I don’t. However, everyone says ‘Sauna gets one’s life in order’. In fact, after repeating the steam room and in the middle of the glycine bath, there’s a process called ‘air bath’ right? As far as I know, people always say “Air bath gets one’s life in order”.”
4493
4494“You seem to have no intention to get your usage of grammar in order… I have no idea what you are talking about. Not a single idea.”
4495
4496Facing someone like me, who is arguing so intensely and foolishly to defend oneself, Yukinoshita shrugged her shoulders again.
4497
4498She didn’t understand or try to understand a single word I said. I bet you are going to get wrecked for wasting your spa money! I’m serious. Sometimes my father would take me to spas by chance and I’d just follow him. Thanks for the treat, Dad! Some of the spa places even offer free manga to read. So instead of going to those manga coffee shop like a fool, going to these manga spas is definitely a far better way to enjoy the weekends. Even though sauna sounds like some old dude’s hobby, nowadays anime shows that are themed with old dude’s hobby are getting more and more popular! I can sense the slippery from an anime or a manga where girls enjoy sauna. While imagining that, I feel like my skins were feeling tingly already. Hey, I was referring to saunas though, not the girls!
4499
4500While continuing my daydreaming, I got a sneak peek at Yukinoshita’s face.
4501
4502Her eyes were still full of confidence to win the match between us; her mouth was still wearing a calm and composed smile, just like a few days ago when I looked into her eyes as I left the Student Council room. Of course, this is something that I already got used to.
4503
4504While I quietly commemorated the sense of distance between us, I smirked bitterly and finally opened my mouth.
4505
4506“How’s it going? I meant, the proposal.”
4507
4508Yukinoshita is a little shocked by what I asked and looked straight at me. But she soon turned that into a teasing smile.
4509
4510“...how rare it is that you start to care about others.”
4511
4512“It’s not like that. Of course, I have to study my enemy.”
4513
4514Hearing me explaining myself calmly, Yukinoshita got dumbfounded and speechless for a minuscule moment. But then, she smirked and shrugged her shoulders,
4515
4516“I see. It’s been going quite well. We managed to finish all the pending tasks and now we are coordinating things smoothly among all parties. I guess the only thing left is the assignment and distribution of work on the day of event.”
4517
4518As she went through each item one by one, her eyes looked upward as if she was marking each of them as checked. Judging from her voice and emotion, she didn’t look like she’s being preoccupied by the work at all.
4519
4520“That makes me so jealous… Well, don’t force yourself too much. Just use Isshiki as much as you can, even if that means crushing her dead completely. After all, she has the potential to become a great wage slave.”
4521
4522“I don’t need you to tell me that. That’s what I’m going to do anyways.”
4523
4524I said so in a half-joking, half-serious way, whereas Yukinoshita narrowed her eyes with a clever smile floating on her face. That’s so scary - unlike me, she looked like she was totally serious about it.
4525
4526“What about you?”
4527
4528She lost the stiffness and seriousness on her face and asked me gently. I hid myself behind my fluffy scarf and replied to her,
4529
4530“Well, it’s going as planned. We manage to finish just right amount of work and proceed without working overtime. I just have one more thing to do after this - something outdoor that I don’t know how long it’d take. Once that’s done I’m heading straight home and will get rest of my work done there.”
4531
4532“Sounds like only the ‘time management’ part is going well for you.”
4533
4534Yukinoshita tapped her fingers on her temple as if she was trying to suppress a headache. She sighed, perhaps feeling a little uncomfortable and uneasy by what I said. After that, she looked down and stared at her feet.
4535
4536“You don’t even have to work that hard. You know...”
4537
4538She said that so gently and softly, just like the white breath coming out from her mouth that soon disappeared in the air. I then returned her a gentle, small nod and then took my time searching for words to say.
4539
4540“...I have come this far by forcing myself hard. You know that this is my normalcy.”
4541
4542“I see.”
4543
4544She nodded forcibly, biting her lips hard. She didn’t say anything after that.
4545
4546Instead, she put her hand into her coat, and then slowly took out something.
4547
4548“Please…”
4549
4550That’s the MAX coffee can that she just bought earlier. Probably because it was in her pocket all the time, touching it still gave me a feeling of well-preserved warmth.
4551
4552“Ah, thanks a lot… wait, but why?”
4553
4554“You still have work to do after this right? I’m just out here to take a break. I’ll go drink something once I’m back to the club room.”
4555
4556While saying so, she stood up from the bench.
4557
4558I waved my hands at her to try to stop her. I knew that it simply wouldn’t work. So I quickly stood up as well.
4559
4560“Wait a second… Eh, what should I get for you then?”
4561
4562I took out the coin change from my pocket, which made a tinkling sound. Yukinoshita heard the sounds and shook her head.
4563
4564“It’s okay. Keep the money yourself and buy some treat for your club members.”
4565
4566“No, it makes no sense if only I got the treat. If you are treating me drinks to provide me moral support then I have to properly return the favor. That’s good manner. Can I get the same thing for you? I was planning on getting the MAX can anyways.”
4567
4568After hearing my long excuses, Yukinoshita seems to be slightly disturbed, staring at me with dissatisfaction. Nevertheless, perhaps sensing my strong will to defend my actions, she sighed again to signal her will to surrender. She then gave me an honest smile.
4569
4570“Nothing but sophism...”
4571
4572Knowing that she couldn’t refuse my favor anyways, she kept her smile and returned to the bench. She looked up to me, her head slightly tilted.
4573
4574“... then the same thing for me please.”
4575
4576I acknowledged quietly to her broad smile. I quickly ran to the vending machine and returned with another can of MAX coffee. Still being slightly out of breath, I handed over the MAX can that was still hot.
4577
4578“Careful. It’s hot!”
4579
4580Yukinoshita then stretched her cardigan sleeves a little over her hands. With extra care, she took the hot coffee can that I passed over, and had her sleeves in between them to insulate the heat.
4581
4582“Thank you....”
4583
4584I shook my head in reply to her expression of gratefulness. I returned to the bench and removed the cap from the MAX Coffee can that I was holding. The steam rising from the can deflected the orange light going through, and gradually dissolved in the wind. I took a sip of my coffee. The sweetness quickly spreaded over my mouth and the coffee soon warmed up my body.
4585
4586While I was drinking the coffee one sip after another, Yukinoshita held the can firmly to warm up both of her hands.
4587
4588We both kept the silence undisturbed and let the time pass by. Sometimes, either I was going to say something, or she was going to, but in the end, only breaths remained.
4589
4590However, thanks to the quiet breaths and the darkness of the environment, we were able to notice even the slightest gestures, expressions, or actions between us. I was already missing this sense of distance then.
4591
4592In the end, we were never able to have any proper conversations, but only to indulge ourselves in this speechless period of time together. Suddenly, an abrupt sound broke the silence. It came from out of my pocket. My leg felt the vibration. I pulled out my smartphone and found an incoming call.
4593
4594“Excuse me.”
4595
4596After my brief apology, Yukinoshita shook her head gently, implying that she didn’t mind it at all. I nodded to her and returned to my smartphone - on the screen it said it was a call from Yui. Just as I was about to pick up the call the vibration halted immediately. Just when I was wondering “What was that about?”, I heard footsteps made by loafer heels hitting the ground. Yukinoshita turned her face to the source of the sound and then so did I.
4597
4598“Good evening, Yuigahama-san”
4599
4600“Good evening…. Yahallo, Yukinon!”
4601
4602Like a greeting during a quiet night. Yuigahama lowered her voice and waved her hand gently right above her chest to us. Then she slowly approached the bench towards us. The street light lit up Yuigahama wearing a scarf on top of her coat and carrying her backpack on her back. Apparently she was prepared to leave.
4603
4604“... What’s up? Heard anything from Hayama?”
4605
4606“Right. He wanted me to tell you that we can get dinner together and take our time to talk.”
4607
4608When she was answering my question, she waved her smartphone gently at me. Given that Hayama had already reached out to me, I don’t think I had any other reasons to stay here. As for his suggestion to get dinner together, I guessed it was better just to meet him near the train station.
4609
4610I finished up the remaining coffee and stood up.
4611
4612“Work?”
4613
4614“Yeah.”
4615
4616I nodded to Yukinoshita, as she looked up and asked me. She also checked the time, put the MAX Coffee can back into her pocket and stood up.
4617
4618“I’m also going back to work”
4619
4620“Wait!”
4621
4622Just when they were about to pass each other without meeting, Yuigahama took Yukinoshita’s hand. Perhaps caught by surprise, Yukinoshita froze and looked at Yuigahama in doubt.
4623
4624Being speechlessly stared at, Yuigahama got a little bit embarrassed and quietly touched her hair bun with one hand.
4625
4626“I feel like, for some reason, we have not seen each other for a long time. It’s strange… I wonder for how many days have we not met each other...?”
4627
4628“Right…. I was so occupied with my work that I couldn’t find any spare time.”
4629
4630In response to Yuigahama’s shy smile, Yuikinoshita returned her a gentle smile. After seeing that smile, Yuigahama quietly looked downward.
4631
4632“No, I don’t think that’s the reason. Am I being … avoided deliberately?”
4633
4634Yuigahama gently raised her face up, asking modestly as if trying to peek into Yukinoshita’s heart. Hearing that, Yukinoshita suddenly straightened up her body and switched to a firmer attitude.
4635
4636“That’s not the case. That’s not true. It’s just that there’s so many communications coming in and out about the prom preparation and arguments against the prom event. I had too many things to deal with…”
4637
4638She argued vehemently, but then suddenly she softened her voice and looked down. She then lost her words and instead made a long sigh. Yuigahama gently bit her lip, faced the downward-looking Yukinoshita and apologized powerlessly.
4639
4640“Em, sure, right. I’m sorry...”
4641
4642They stayed speechless for a while after that.
4643
4644I feel compelled to say something. So frustrated at myself, I opened my mouth without carefully crafting words that fit into the atmosphere,
4645
4646“...Hey.”
4647
4648Hearing my voice, Yukinoshita suddenly raised her face while keeping a firm grip on Yukinoshita’s hands. Surprised by this situation, Yukinoshita also raised her face up and said,
4649
4650“I am actually helping Hikki”
4651
4652That totally caught me by surprise. It left me astonished and speechless at first.
4653
4654“...oh... Did I not tell you…?”
4655
4656I mumbled. I thought we kept in touch over LINE somehow and thus I took it for granted that I already told Yukinoshita about the fact that Yuigahama’s is helping me. Keeping Yukinoshita informed should be my responsibility, not Yuigahama’s. I regretted and blamed myself so much that Yuigahama ended up having to say it in a terribly awkward situation like this.
4657
4658Thereupon, Yukinoshita turned her face to me and shook her head, suggesting me not to worry about it. After that, she turned to Yuigahama, firmly gripped Yuigahama’s hand in return, and said,
4659
4660“Don’t worry about it. I understand it.”
4661
4662“... No, I don’t think you do.”
4663
4664Yuigahama tilted her face in sadness.
4665
4666“I was thinking about doing *it* properly. After we are finished with all of this, I will get *it* done properly. Therefore.... I will make sure your wish never comes true.”
4667
4668She kept staring into Yukinoshita’s eyes, trying to organize her words earnestly. Yukinoshita nodded, just to confirm that Yuigahama had finished her words.
4669
4670“... I see. But I do hope that your wish comes true though.”
4671
4672It appeared that her smile was so genuine, without even a slightest sense of sadness, that her words were honest and truthful.
4673
4674However, Yuigahama’s stern face didn’t clear up at all after she heard Yukinoshita’s words. After two or three breaths, Yuigahama cast a gaze that seemed to cling firmly on Yukinoshita.
4675
4676“... Do you actually… know my wish? Are you sure you know *it* clearly?”
4677
4678“Yes. I think it’s probably the same thing as mine.”
4679
4680Yukinoshita replied without any hesitation. Her smile was certainly soaked with love and affection. In her clear pupils was no hesitation or perplexity whatsoever.
4681
4682“I see… then.. it’s okay.”
4683
4684Yuigahama exhaled deeply, released Yukinoshita’s hand gently and took a step back. Seeing that Yuigahama’s hands dropped powerlessly, Yuigahama wore a very slight and thin smile on her face.
4685
4686“Sorry, but I have to leave now.”
4687
4688Saying that, Yukinoshita firmly doubled her fist with her empty hand. While my eyes said goodbye to Yukinoshita, Yuigahama however kept her face down without looking up.
4689
4690Yukinoshita sighed with a troubled face. Finally, she turned her back on us. Only the sound of loafers hitting the brickstone ground resonated in the courtyard, and step by step it was going further and further away.
4691
4692I saw her off with my eyes before taking a short breath. Even so, that didn’t alleviate the heavy feeling that got stuck in my stomach at all.
4693
4694“It’s about time. Let’s get going.”
4695
4696I said that to Yuigahama, who stood there still and paralyzed. I don't think those are the right words to say, but I'm simply too deplorable - I know I had to say something in this situation, but I just didn't know what to say.
4697
4698Yuigahama nodded to me, with an almost vanishing voice "alright...". But apparently, she had no intention to walk out and leave.
4699
4700Yukinoshita stepped into the shadow below the school building. I could see her fleeting figure dissolving into the background and her footstep pitching higher.
4701
4702Before I was able to see the scene through the end, Yuigahama suddenly raised her face up, and with all her strength she started dashing over in Yukinoshita’s direction.
4703
4704Yukinoshita was taking her time to walk away slowly, but after hearing the footsteps, she turned her face back.
4705
4706It all happened in a moment. Yuigahama suddenly jumped into Yukinoshita, hugging her back wholeheartedly.
4707
4708Leaking an almost inaudible voice of surprise and confusion, Yukinoshita stumbled a few steps forward, almost dropping her coat from her back. But before that happened, Yuigahama held onto her coat firmly and buried her face quickly into the slim collars.
4709
4710"When the prom ends, we should get lunch together. Besides that, I'd like to stay overnight at your apartment again. When the spring comes, we'll go to Disneyland together; we'll go to the Seaworld again. And after that we can all stay overnight in my place. And then when it's April,..."
4711
4712With her wavering voice, Yuigahama's words came out so quickly just like an arrow shooting immediately after another arrow. She snorted, then looked up after taking a breath and smiled gently.
4713
4714"What shall we do in April? We can do all sorts of things. So much to do that it could take us years or decades."
4715
4716Dimmed orange light emitted from light poles sank into Yukinoshita's pupils. She relaxed her fist and her hand stretched over to reach Yuigahama's shoulder. She then gently touched Yuigahama's shoulder and tried to cover her face with her other hand touching her forehead.
4717
4718"That's... that's really a lot to do... I wonder if we can actually do all of them."
4719
4720"We can! We'll be together until we finish doing all of them... So, it's not a problem."
4721
4722Being hugged tightly, Yukinoshita sighed in confusion. But Yuigahama did not seem to care. Instead, she put in more strength in her arms and asked.
4723
4724"Do you understand?"
4725
4726As if she was being playful to a kid, Yuigahama laid her cheek on the back of Yukinoshita's neck to comfort her. Yukinoshita twisted her body a little bit, maybe out of slight shyness.
4727
4728"Yeah, I understand. I understand it."
4729
4730"Like really understand it crystal clear?"
4731
4732"Yes.. yes. So could you just release me a little bit..."
4733
4734Yukinoshita did not force herself to part from Yuigahama. And Yuigahama released her slowly and gently. Yuigahama froze briefly after they took some distance apart. While I was watching all of this, I made a short sigh.
4735
4736Just as usual, we are so bad at communicating with each other. 'I meant to say this; I meant that I knew this; I meant that I understood this.' - with thoughts like this piling up among us, we have reached where we are today. I think we didn't grow mature at all, not even a little bit.
4737
4738We all know that there's an easier way to communicate our feelings.
4739
4740However, I do not believe that's the right way.
4741
4742But I know I can do one thing at least - avoid making mistakes.
4743
4744As if I was praying, I fixed my eyes on both of them without moving.
4745
4746
4747
4748
4749
47506-3
4751
4752
4753
4754
4755After seeing Yukinoshita off back to the Student Council room, Yuigahama and I headed over to the station.
4756
4757The temperature dropped quickly as the sun set. To avoid the chilly wind, we walked in between the residential buildings. The 'kyu-kyu-' sound of me pushing the bicycle got mixed with the buzzing sound of dry wood along the street, both of which gradually vanished in the end.
4758
4759Along the way, Yuigahama walked next to me and talked to me about various things, but did not mention anything about Yukinoshita. I think she was deliberately avoiding it. Since Yuigahama clearly has subtle consideration about it, so I should not touch it either.
4760
4761Of course, our topic of discussion naturally went into a different direction.
4762
4763"Soccer club people certainly practice until very late, right?"
4764
4765"Ah, right, especially today their training took an even longer time."
4766
4767Although our campus isn't that big, we have soccer club, baseball club, rugby club and the track and field club, all of which need places to carry out their activities. Hence, they have to coordinate with each other on activity time and places to stay organized.
4768
4769As I explained to Yuigahama, she made a "hoe-" sound.
4770
4771"Hmmm I see. You really know the details."
4772
4773"Nah, it's normal"
4774
4775It's not like Yuigahama's reaction implied anything, but it made me look like I'm really interested in the soccer club. So I ended up coughing once or twice to cover it up and divert the subject.
4776
4777"Ah, btw, tomorrow is the day to take photos, right?"
4778
4779As I changed the subject intentionally, Yuigahama also redirected her attention and nodded to me.
4780
4781"Hmm... Taking photos..."
4782
4783"I was thinking about taking it by the sea. Could you please do be a favor and be the model?"
4784
4785"Ehhh!? Me!? Ah, that's kind of embarrassing for me..."
4786
4787Yuigahama caressed her hair bun with her glove gently.
4788
4789"It's okay just to show a back view. I've seen quite a few of those kind of photos. I think it'd be good to have two or three people in the photo like this."
4790
4791I held my bicycle aside and took out my smartphone - trying to look up images as references. Yuigahama came closer little by little to peek into the screen.
4792
4793"I see... It's just barely safe if it's from the back... I will try to ask Yumiko and Hina as well."
4794
4795That closer up distance unchanged, we kept walking side by side. Feeling a little uneasy, I closed my opened coat, brought my scarf all the way up to my mouth and speeded up my pace.
4796
4797Finally, we navigated ourselves through in front of the station and arrived at the Saizerya storefront.
4798
4799I parked my bicycle and entered the restaurant, immediately starting to look around for the customer who arrived earlier.
4800
4801I only hadn't been here for a couple days. It didn't look that the place had changed a bit. If I had to say one thing that did change, it's the Hayama Hayato cheerfully waving his hands at us with a refreshing smile on his face.
4802
4803Hayama moved his body to spare some space for us from that 4-people seat. He raised his hand facing upward as if saying "Here please, my Milady."
4804
4805That proud and impertinent pose looked like it could become part of a painting. This is making me angry and uneasy. Speaking of which, what's even making me more uneasy is this guy sitting next to Hayama eating pasta with a carefree face...
4806
4807"Why's Tobecchi here?"
4808
4809After taking her seat, Yuigahama said it before I could. Meanwhile, Tobe got choked by the food and said,
4810
4811"Ubbeee(crap)-... I shouldn't have come...? Cuz Hayato told us everyone is grabbing dinner together and so I'm here..."
4812
4813Scared by the situation, Tobe looked at Yuigahama, who then gently waved her hand and smiled at him.
4814
4815"Oh, that's not it. You weren't invited but you ended up coming anyways..."
4816
4817Yuigahama didn't seem to say that out of ill will. But saying it lightly wearing that smile can certainly cause extra damage. Tobe's mouth suddenly cramped, awkwardly put down the fork and cast his eyes towards Hayama and me, as if those eyes were saying "Eh? Is this bad? Should I leave? Is it better for me to go home? Ah crap...",saying so in a quite annoying way.
4818
4819"... Well, it won't make a difference no matter if you are here or not."
4820
4821Having said that, I cast my eyes towards Hayama. I could barely see from the side of my eyesight that Tobe was mumbling "Crap... the way he said that is so... terrible...". Hayama showed a bitter smile to Tobe and turned his face to us.
4822
4823"I'm sorry for taking your time." Yuigahama closed her palms together to express her apology and gratitude.
4824
4825"Well, I can't really say no to Yui's request." Hayama smiled and responded. If I were the person asking him, I wonder if I'd just get rejected... I cast my dubiously questioning eyes to Hayama. He then simply switched to the main topic.
4826
4827"So, what's the deal for today?"
4828
4829"You know this so-called 'prom' thing,right?"
4830
4831"Yeah, more or less."
4832
4833Just like Isshiki, I guessed Hayama also learned or heard about it from Yuigahama. Hence I asked him knowing that in mind. Hayama answered it frankly without hesitation. As I nodded in return, I continued.
4834
4835"So the situation right now is that, some of our parents think it's not wholesome and thus are strongly against holding the prom. We are cornered now and was told to act with 'self-restraint'. To deal with it, we then unilaterally created this new plan to carry out a prom with even greater scale."
4836
4837As I finished explaining, Tobe suddenly stopped his hand holding his pasta.
4838
4839"... Wait, what, why??"
4840
4841"To make sure that the prom takes place."
4842
4843I said so without looking at Tobe, but straight at Hayama. Hayama folded his arms and then held his chin, thinking silently.
4844
4845"... in other words, it's a stalking horse?"
4846
4847Hearing that, I tilted one side of my mouth and put up an evil smile.
4848
4849"Your quick understanding makes things easier, thankfully."
4850
4851"No, I cannot understand, to be honest."
4852
4853Perhaps confused, Hayama shrugged his shoulders at my smile. Tobe, on the other hand, looked at us back and forth, trying so hard to understand the situation. Yet, looked like he just gave up, as he leaned forwarded over the table and asked Yuigahama "What's going on?" for an explanation. Yuigahama then "So, let me think, here's what's going on...", started explaining the whole thing quietly.
4854
4855Well, it's okay even if Tobe doesn't understand. The only person that I'm here to deal with is Hayama. I quickly glanced sidelong at the whispering two, and then cut in to the main topic.
4856
4857"So, I want some support from the Club President Association."
4858
4859"I don't think we can offer any meaningful help. It's not like we have a great deal of authority or say over school matters."
4860
4861"I know. But still I'd like to ask for one thing."
4862
4863As Hayama was about to say no and just end the conversation, I raised my hand and suggested 'well, hear me first'.
4864
4865"You guys are planning to this Oikon thing right? Isn't it better if all clubs can jointly hold this thing? To follow up and tag along with Oikon, we can make a new prom proposal."
4866
4867"Oikon..."
4868
4869After finishing up the pasta, Tobe froze his hand again while trying to reach out to the doria. He tilted his head in confusion and looked at Hayama. Hayama smiled bitterly.
4870
4871"Look like you learned about it from somewhere else."
4872
4873I looked at Hayama with my questioning eyes asking "what do you mean?". Hayama reached out to his coffee cup and then took a sip. It was espresso but he didn't show even a slight expression of bitter taste. He started talking composedly.
4874
4875"The student council has already reached out and asked us about Oikon."
4876
4877Sounds like now I'm the one making a bitter face. Nevertheless, Hayama's face kept its composure after seeing my reaction and continued,
4878
4879"We already decided to help out the student council. Or should I rather put it, we are a subdivision under the student council. So obviously we cannot help you guys out."
4880
4881"Ugu..", I lost my words.
4882
4883They got it before us. While we were still conceiving it they already got it done... I guess besides enhancing her prom proposal, Yukinoshita already thought about using some help from the Club President Association.
4884
4885I don't know why but in this world, people all hold this strong belief that sports clubs must be wholesome. Probably those old people, after committing some light crimes, would easily cover them up with some pranks or tricks. They certainly, and strangely, are very tolerant to those young people who are sweating invigoratingly and holding strong passions. In reality, they are not wholesome at all. Every year they cause turmoils and apologize for things like 'team activity temporarily in halt', 'bowing out right before a competition due to scandals'. More recently, there are even bolder conducts such as sexual harassment, power harassment, drug abusement and so on.
4886
4887So, it's annoying if I just end up giving up now. Knowing that I'm doing useless and meaningless resistance, I still have to continue my negotiation. If I don't, then all my effort would go for nothing.
4888
4889"... in that case, how about as an individual? Would Hayama Hayato, as an individual without any titles, help out with us?"
4890
4891"Helping you as an individual would be the most unwilling thing for me to do."
4892
4893Hayama tilted his face, expressing genuine unwillingness deep from heart. His expression looked like the one that a boxer would make after his liver gets punched and gouged out. Okay, now it's the time to attack!
4894
4895"It's also okay if we can just borrow your name."
4896
4897"Doesn't look like I'm ever going to have it back."
4898
4899"Ah... you are right..."
4900
4901Punched right into my face by his sharp and eloquent argument, I dropped my jaw. He's right. If I get to borrow Hayama's name I'd use every inch of it, Just like borrowing a stamp and use it to apply for a loan and buy a house. Good for you Zaimokuza, you get to buy a new apartment!
4902
4903While I nodded to myself, Hayama looked at me and rolled his eyes.
4904
4905"I cannot accept this. You are the type of person who would borrow a game, write your own name on it and even sell it later! I hate that so much."
4906
4907"Don't get me wrong. I won't do it. I don't even have a friend who can lend me a game in the first place."
4908
4909As I argued it fair and square, Hayama sighed deeply. Tobe was like "That's him! Those who use markers to write stuff on goods and resell them on GEO and then mesmerize the buyers... I wonder if Akkun is still okay..."
4910
4911Instead, Yuigahama dropped her jaw in astonishment. She stared at us speechlessly with her eyes asking "what's going on right now". Looking at her unbelievable face, Hayama smiled gently and said,
4912
4913"What's up?"
4914
4915"Ah... I was a little surprised"
4916
4917Yuigahama looked at and compared Hayama and me side by side, 'ehehe-' laughed happily. Meanwhile, embarrassed Hayama had decided to keep his mouth shut. And then, pretending to sit up straight, Hayama leaned his body aside and moved away from me.
4918
4919Well, had I only known the kind Mr. Hayama Hayato, maybe the posture of ‘repulsiveness against me' would somehow end up looking pretty nice. Hayato-san, you have quite a personality.
4920
4921As I was thinking that, Tobe, who apparently knows Hayama a lot better than I do, proudly straightened up his neck and said,
4922
4923"Well, it's because sometimes Hayato-kun you do say pretty tough things too."
4924
4925Tobe smiled and tried to seek consensus. Trying to cover up and divert things, Hayama coughed a couple times.
4926
4927"To begin with why do you have to do this? I didn't hear anything about this 'stalking horse' proposal from Yukinoshita though?"
4928
4929"Of course you didn't. It's all my unilateral actions."
4930
4931Hayama leaned his head slightly, with his eyes inquiring what I meant by that. I didn't really want to explain to him, I answered him in only few words. After that, I stopped elaborating further, resting my chin in my hand. We then entered a brief moment of silence.
4932
4933"Looks like you two are not working on it together this time... What happened?"
4934
4935He seemed to noticed my unwillingness to elaborate further, following up with yet another question. He didn't dodge his eyes away from me as he asked, but rested his elbows on the table and had his fingers crossed. His attitude looked like he'd wait forever until I gave an answer. I sighed quietly.
4936
4937"It's my own business, not something that you should care about."
4938
4939The moment I said so deep inside Hayama's pupil something dark started moving. His gaze on me stifled me. Despite so, Hayama shrugged his shoulders.
4940
4941Hayama's didn't relaxed his gaze, leaving the atmosphere even drier. I could feel my skin getting stung and burned by his eyes. Perhaps those sitting next to me could also feel the tightened ambience. Tobe twisted his body uncomfortably.
4942
4943Yuigahama had her eyes down by herself, yet eventually she decided to open her mouth.
4944
4945"Yukinon... Yukinon wants to prove that she could do it on her own. Otherwise, she'd end up depending on Hikki and me. She decided not to let that happen."
4946
4947"...that's what she said..?"
4948
4949Hayama swallowed his breath out of discomposure. Just to make sure, he asked again slowly. Without raising her head, Yuigahama nodded.
4950
4951"I see..."
4952
4953Hayama sighed deeply and closed his eyes. I cannot grasp the meaning behind that long sigh. Only from his action of biting the lips, I could tell that he is stressfully troubled.
4954
4955As suffocating silence continued, I could sense that the restaurant was getting noisier. Without saying a word, both Yuigahama and I looked down on our hands.
4956
4957"Ah.... by the way, did you two eat? Are you hungry? Should I order something?"
4958
4959Maybe Tobe couldn't bear with the awkwardness, or maybe he was reading into the air and trying to do me a favor. Tobe forced his wide smile at us and opened the menu. Yuigahama looked at me implying "what should we do?". I shook my head in response.
4960
4961"No, it's fine. I am about to head out."
4962
4963Refraining from putting it into words, I used my eyes and mouth movement to express my gratefulness to Tobe, though I'm not sure if he'd get it. Tobe was like "O, oh..." seemingly confused.
4964
4965After we broke the silence, Hayama sighed shortly.
4966
4967"I will help out with the prom itself. However, I will NOT assist you as an individual nor as part of Club President Association. I won't dissuade other CPA members from helping out as individuals. That's my compromise."
4968
4969Without looking at me directly, Hayama fixed his eyes on the cup in front of him. Hayama's pupil reflected darkness and turmoil, and deep inside there was no light.
4970
4971"...well, that's what I guessed. It's enough."
4972
4973As I spoke, Yuigahama looked at me uneasily and anxiously.
4974
4975"Hikki, are you sure?"
4976
4977"Yeah."
4978
4979I think it's no problem that CPA is helping out with Yukinoshita. It's sufficient just to get Hayama's promise and commitment out. After all, my end goal is to make sure Yukinoshita's prom plan takes place. They made their wise move ahead of us, but it won't change the outcome in the end.
4980
4981In that case, I just have to make use use of other cards in my hand.
4982
4983"I'm getting ready to leave. Thanks and sorry for taking your time."
4984
4985I took the check promptly and left the seat. Hayama was hesitating whether to stand up or not, sighed shortly, but then he gave up and stood up anyways. Left by himself, Tobe quickly devoured the leftover doria, poured the remaining coke into his mouth and chased us clumsily.
4986
4987
4988
4989
4990
49916-4
4992
4993
4994
4995
4996After I paid the bill and left the restaurant, the night had already fallen.
4997
4998Due to the commute rush, many people were passing by the station area. I was pushed by the crowd and left alone walking by myself... maybe I should just head to the station for now... hence I ended up catching up with Yuigahama and Tobe while pushing my bicycle.
4999
5000And then I voice came from behind.
5001
5002"Can I borrow just a moment from you?"
5003
5004"Ugh?"
5005
5006As I turned around, Hayama was standing there aimlessly. Surprised at us two suddenly stopped walking, Yuigahama and Tobe looked at us, turned around and walked back to us.
5007
5008Hayama looked at Tobe and nodded with a little eye contact. Tobe picked it up. He stretched his neck and said,
5009
5010"Ah, hmmm, let me walk Yui home."
5011
5012That immediately caught Yui by surprise.
5013
5014"Ehh?? Why??"
5015
5016"Why? ehh, ehhh? Why do you ask?"
5017
5018While Tobe asked her back, Yuigahama waved her hand.
5019
5020"Well, it's not like my home lies in the same direction as yours. I live close by so I can go back just fine as normal."
5021
5022"That frantly?? Ah, but normally you should take my offer..."
5023
5024"Eh, ah, it's okay, really. Daijoubu."
5025
5026"uppee-(crap)... that really hurts..."
5027
5028Tobe was surprised by the unexpected situation and stood dumbfounded. Yuigahama then took a step towards me and gently raised her hand up.
5029
5030"See you tomorrow Hikki-, and Hayato-kun."
5031
5032"Yep, see you tomorrow."
5033
5034While I said so with a nod, Hayama waved his hand and said "Good night".
5035
5036Yuigahama soon walked away, followed by Tobe chasing her in confusion and dissatisfaction. Seeing both of them off, Hayama and I were left in the crowd.
5037
5038We waited until we could no longer see them. I then turned my face to Hayama.
5039
5040"...So, what's your problem?"
5041
5042"Shall we walk as we speak?"
5043
5044Dodging my question and not even waiting for me to say yes, he started walking. He didn't tell me where we were heading to but merely suggested to follow him.
5045
5046For a while, I followed his steps and pushed my bike without any exchange of words.
5047
5048We walked into a back street one block away from the shopping district, and then came out of a corner surrounded by trees. Seemingly an inhospitable place, it's a park equipped with swings and a playground slide.
5049
5050"Wait here for a moment."
5051
5052"eh, hey..."
5053
5054I was gonna stop him but he quickly ran away somewhere. It can't be helped, so I parked my bicycle and sat down on a bench in a gazebo.
5055
5056There's nobody here other than me. The park was really quiet. There's nothing much surrounding the park, leaving chilly wind blowing freely. I closed up my coat collar, tightened my scarf and put my hands into the pocket. I waited for Hayama with my body shaking and clattering.
5057
5058After breathing in and out a couple times, I heard sounds of trampled sand coming from my back. I turned around and saw Hayama holding coffee cans and walking back towards me.
5059
5060"Get ready."
5061
5062As he spoke, he threw one of the cans over at me. I quickly took my hands out of pocket in panic and somehow managed to catch it.
5063
5064"That was dangerous... Can't you just pass it over normally?"
5065
5066Following my bad attitude, however, was a relieving breath from my mouth. I could feel the warmth transmitting into my palms. 'Eh, hot!!' I mumbled. It's about time to drink, so I opened the can and started drinking sip by sip.
5067
5068Hayama, who looked at me and smiled in satisfaction, sat down on the bench next to the one I sat on. He first warmed his hands with the can, and soon also started drinking like me. After a brief sigh, he began to talk in scattered words.
5069
5070"I’ve come to remember things from the past."
5071
5072"What thing?"
5073
5074I peeked at his face from aside. Hayama leaned his body slightly forward and stared at his hand holding the coffee can. Light coming from the street lamps shed on his face, casting shadows on the ground.
5075
5076"... Things from the past. You know back in elementary school, she was isolated by others, right? Back then, she said something similar... 'I can do it just by myself. I do not want to rely on you. I do not need your help.'"
5077
5078"Huh... I felt like I heard about that from somewhere, maybe."
5079
5080"Yeah... Hence I came to remember it."
5081
5082Acknowledging my back-channeling, half-joking speech, Hayama raised his head up a little bit and replied to me in smile. Nevertheless, his delightful attitude quickly faded out.
5083
5084"...I wasn't able to do anything for her back then."
5085
5086Just like his falling voice, his eyes also looked down on the ground.
5087
5088"No, that's not accurate. In retrospect from the outcome, it ended up being a lot worse and awful. I offered my help halfway in the middle without wrapping it up, which caused even more damage. I was thinking that back then - I should have helped and gave it everything I had."
5089
5090Hayama cast his self-loathing smile at me, eyes turning gloomy. I shrugged my shoulders.
5091
5092"What is this? Repentance? You should do that facing a wall."
5093
5094"They are about the same."
5095
5096Saying so in a half-joking fashion, Hayama, whose face illustrated by the street light, lowered his eyelashes with an apologizing face. In contrary to that face, the steel can was shaking in his hand. Cold wind started to blow at us again but that's definitely not why he was shaking.
5097
5098Besides, I can sense regretfulness and anger leaking from inside him.
5099
5100I recalled that day in that summer when Hayama and Yukinoshita had a conversation. It's not like I asked them to know precisely what they talked about, but at my best guess, it's probably about what happened to them in the past being repeated exactly as with Tsurumi Rumi, who was isolated likewise.
5101
5102It's not hard to imagine the young Yukinoshita Yukino standing out from all other kids in the crowd, thanks to her beauty, temperament and intelligence. It's also easy to imagine how someone as unique and special as Yukinoshita would be treated by the kids groups.
5103
5104In that situation, as Yukinoshita's childhood friend, Hayama Hayato took actions that were deemed to be the worst that one could ever conceive - in the most straightforward words, he tried to 'set her up to be friendly with' and made attempts 'to integrate her into' those girl-only groups.
5105
5106Unfortunately, that only brought him more trouble and displeasure. Of course, what a classic Hayama move, not to mention that it all happened during the time when kids were the most excessively emotional beings. It doesn't make sense to demand self-control from kids, as it simply won't work.
5107
5108There's no way for me to know whether Hayama back then was smart enough to notice it, but I'm quite sure the Hayama now would deem his actions as awfully stupid and inappropriate.
5109
5110"I really should have poured in all my effort to help her out back then. In that case,..."
5111
5112If that were the case, what would have happen...!? That really touched my nerves. Hence I narrowed my eyes and said,
5113
5114"How's your 'what-ifs' supposed to be meaningful now??"
5115
5116"At the very least, I am very aware and have made it clear to you that it's also against my will for her to end up like this."
5117
5118Taken my stares, Hayama laughed bitterly with self-mockery. The usual 'cool and refreshing' part of him was all gone, leaving only a gloomy eyes, in which only bad feelings and regrets resided.
5119
5120"You shouldn't give up midway, like I did. Face it seriously. I didn't have that motivation and the resolution back then. But you are different, right?"
5121
5122His words jabbing about the future, his imploring eyes, his mouth that spoke of the past that I didn't know of - all irritated me so much. I bit my teeth hard and said,
5123
5124"That was your regrets! You own them. Don't entrust them to me so lightheartedly!"
5125
5126Without noticing it, my words got sharp and my eyes stared at Hayama angrily. Hayama then quickly looked down.
5127
5128"You are absolutely right... I own my own regrets. I have been regretting the moment it happened until now. I am unable to forget any bit of it. It always came back at me... I was stuck there ever since, without making any progress."
5129
5130Suppressing his pain that seemed to tear his breast off, Hayama groaned bitterly. His used-to-be-handsome face warped out of pain, forcing voices out of his throat as if blood was going to come out.
5131
5132What would have those friendly buddies of Hayama reacted had they seen him now. Disappointed? Or sympathetic? Or even disdainful?
5133
5134Notwithstanding, I am jealous of him. Looking at his regretful face, I only feel jealousy.
5135
5136I could see how deep it got inscribed in his mind, as he treasured it so dearly, so much that he would never forget about it and kept thinking about it the rest of his life.
5137
5138I would not treat that feeling as regrettable at all.
5139
5140His suffering posture was so 'shiny' that my eyes had to dodge away. Thereupon, Hayama suddenly stepped on the sand and turned his face to me. He couldn't allow himself to look away from me anymore.
5141
5142"Hikigaya... You are doing it the wrong way. You shouldn't have to resort to this way."
5143
5144This time, I can't dodge my eyes nor can I turn my face away. So I closed my eyes.
5145
5146Nobody else but you.
5147
5148Nobody else but you said that to me.
5149
5150His words were hopelessly correct, ambiguous, and whatever.
5151
5152I'm glad that I know you, Hayama Hayato.
5153
5154You cannot overlook actions that hurt others. You will not forgive those who hurt others. Therefore, you are the one whom you will never forgive yourself.
5155
5156Bearing the hope that not a single person gets hurt, but ended up hurting the most important person. Even so, he couldn't defy or betray the image that he and other have set up for him. In the end, being forced into an impasse by yourself, you showed me that painful face and spoke of these meaningless but sounding arguments. Even until now, you are still hurting yourself.
5157
5158Knowing that he couldn't do it, knowing that I couldn't do it, nevertheless he still couldn't help but ask me.
5159
5160I hated this part of him so much, hated it from my heart.
5161
5162I really hated it.
5163
5164So, I've found my words to say.
5165
5166If it's someone else then for sure I wouldn't have said it.
5167
5168It's because you shared so much sympathy with me but still didn't understand it that I have to tell you. I had to say because they are the same thing but not one single thing, and so much of the two are the same but you won't forgive the tiny part that's different between the two. Therefore, I had to speak out, to someone like you who committed to never doing the wrong thing and always doing the right thing.
5169
5170"Shut up! I know what I am doing!"
5171
5172I knew I was doing the seemingly wrong thing. But I had no other choice. I did not know of any other ways.
5173
5174Without doing it that way, *we* wouldn't be able to understand or communicate with each other.
5175
5176There's only one thing that I could do.
5177
5178Only one thing.
5179
5180"I know it all. Knowing it I've come this far. There's no other ways to prove it."
5181
5182As I slowly opened my eyes, I saw white steams coming out of my mouth and gradually dissolved into the air, just like what I just said.
5183
5184"... What are you trying to prove?"
5185
5186Hayama directed his staring eyes at me. It's troublesome for me to be asked with that serious face. I hadn't been able to provide any good counter-arguments.
5187
5188Should I just fabricate something? Or just prevaricate it? Or just make a bluff? I thought about it briefly and eventually just spoke out what I had in my heart along with my breaths.
5189
5190"If she didn't demand any help from me, but I'm offering my one-sided help anyways, then this is not codependence. I want to be able to prove that."
5191
5192As I said so, I began smiling naturally.
5193
5194Maybe surprised by what I just said, or maybe even astonished at my smiley face, Hayama blinked his eyes and gave a bitter smile while losing strength on his shoulders.
5195
5196"Hikigaya, do you know what that feeling is called?"
5197
5198"Of course, it's called ‘guy’s stubbornness’."
5199
5200I boasted with my face twisted.
5201
5202
5203
5204
5205
5206Interlude 5
5207
5208
5209
5210
5211Though he’d left, I hadn’t stood up from the park bench.
5212
5213I have no words to respond with if you say such a big lie with that expression.
5214
5215In the end, we didn’t exchange any other words and he drank the rest of his canned coffee before saying “later” in a small voice that could have been mistaken for the wind and leaving. Maybe he’d just run away from being unable to bear the embarrassment.
5216
5217Thanks to that I was left alone in the park.
5218
5219I hate him after all. I seriously can’t forgive myself for having been shaken by those words even for a moment.
5220
5221I don’t know how many times I’ve deeply sighed and looked at the phone that’s remained in my hands. To be honest, I just wasn’t in the mood to have to be the one to make the call.
5222
5223But, if I didn’t confirm it, neither me, nor him, nor her would be able to move on forward. In the words of his grand lie, even I have something called a man’s stubbornness.
5224
5225With my fingers frozen due to being exposed to the blowing wind for a while, I pushed the buttons on the phone to make the call. While praying she doesn’t even answer the call.
5226
5227However, she would definitely answer during this time. At the same time I thought that, the call connected and I heard a long voice coming from the other end.
5228
5229“Hel–loo”
5230
5231I replied with the words I’d prepared.
5232
5233“Can we meet up now?”
5234
5235“...Yeah. Sure.”
5236
5237In that short moment of silence, it seemed she’d sensed something. She was as observant as usual it was seriously troubling. I’d never been able to hide anything from her. It’d surely be the same this time as well.
5238
5239While having a bad feeling about this as always, the call quickly disconnected after two, three business-like exchanges.
5240
5241
5242
5243
5244
5245Interlude 5-2
5246
5247
5248
5249
5250The designated cafe was the one she’d often used to come to.
5251
5252After finishing drinking a Blue Mountain, priced expensively from a high school student’s perspective, I ordered another cup and looked at my wristwatch.
5253
5254It was already past the time we’d agreed on. But there hadn’t been any contact made in particular from her side.
5255
5256If I was even a little bit late when she was the one who suddenly called me over, she’d phone over and over to tell me to hurry up. Despite that, this was how she was when she was the one late. Because I was used to this, I didn’t forcefully call her.
5257
5258I’ve asked her once before if she does this with other people as well. She proudly answered, “that’s right”, but that wasn’t the truth in reality. Surprisingly, she was the type of person who was very punctual. There’d been times she’d left far too early to meet up with her friends and she wouldn’t thoughtlessly chase them up if they kept her waiting.
5259
5260But it looked like there was just one subset of people she corresponded with roughly.
5261
5262It was possible for her to comprehend things like having a deep affection and expressing trust. In reality, he and maybe her little sister tended to be seen in that way.
5263
5264It’s just, an exception also existed. To those she’d hurt like a toy, she’d see them as nothing more than an existence worthy only for her to sharpen her claws.
5265
5266While I was lost in thought, the second cup of Blue Mountain was brought to me. Lifting it to my mouth, I felt it was strongly more bitter than it was before.
5267
5268At last, the sound of a bell mixed in with the mild jazz music playing in the background. When I looked at the entrance, a rouged figure jumped into the shop at the noir keynote.
5269
5270When she took off her coat and stated her order at the counter, she didn’t even show she had to look for my figure as she walked straight towards where I was and sat on the seat facing me.
5271
5272“What’s up?”
5273
5274I lightly shook my head to her question and waited for the Guatemala she ordered to come. When she held the cup in her hands and took a sip, I finally cut into the matter.
5275
5276“Co-dependence… Did you say that to him?”
5277
5278Maybe because it was unexpected, it looked like she was slightly surprised. It was rare for her to show that kind of expression that my mouth broke into a smile. She also laughed as if to answer my question.
5279
5280“...You heard? That’s unexpected. He talks about stuff like that with you.”
5281
5282I ended up thinking about how I should interpret the meaning of that smile. Was she simply just amused by the unexpectedness of his actions, or could it be she was laughing in contempt at the fact he would tell that to someone like me?
5283
5284Either way, whichever way, it wasn’t me who was the subject of interest, but him. That’s why I should have been talking about him, not about me.
5285
5286“No, he just said it in regards to another matter. ...But I had an idea of someone who would instigate him into purposely using that word.”
5287
5288“Not bad, super detective. You’re correct.”
5289
5290Though she spoke like it was a joke, the depths of her eyes were ever so cold. Her gaze told me she was obviously displeased at me interfering. It was a sign telling me to stop while she was only half teasing. I dropped my gaze to the coffee cup in my hand as soon as I saw it.
5291
5292“Why would you do something like that…”
5293
5294“But it’s the truth.”
5295
5296With a reverberating tone, and without losing any composure, she spoke as if she was having fun. Only seeing her gesturing with her long fingers in the edges of my field of vision, I let out a thin sigh.
5297
5298“They were fine as they were. Just like that, little by little…”
5299
5300“Isn’t that just a sham? I only want to see the real thing.”
5301
5302A cold voice interrupted me. I was probably the only one who could feel it sounding like a sulk. Because we’d been together for a long time, I could have just been imagining it on my own, but even so, only I could understand.
5303
5304As the coffee warmed my chest, I lifted my face and stared into her eyes.
5305
5306“I think there are feelings that can grow from there.”
5307
5308“Impossible. That’s how it was, no?”
5309
5310She slowly narrowed her eyes and pierced through me with her frozen glare. The way she said it overlapped with what she'd said that summer.
5311
5312That glare, that voice, they always tied me down. In the end, I’m unable to move forward and she was again stopped in place.
5313
5314It never changes. To make sure nobody could hurt the things she held dear any further, she’d hurt it first herself. And she would never forgive anyone that hurt it; not a single person.
5315
5316“Do you… hate __ that much?”
5317
5318I didn’t ask who she hated.
5319
5320As if she was caught off guard, she blinked her eyes. But she soon smiled as if she was satisfied.
5321
5322“No, I like __ very much.”
5323
5324She rested her chin on her hands, looked up at me with her moist eyes, and smiled alluringly with her light crimson lips.
5325
5326This is a curse.
5327
5328I just couldn’t get an opportunity to atone.
5329
5330That’s why I pushed it onto him. At least they alone would be able to.
5331
5332Ah, I’m sincerely envious.
5333
5334They are beings that can’t not be together, and there would be nothing that made them happier even if they fell into hell together.
5335
5336Even if it was a sham, if there was only one distorted sham in this world, then nobody should be able to call it a fake.
5337
5338If, just if, I put a hand on it, I’d surely give this distorted shape one name.
5339
5340That’s why I’m still regretting to this day.
5341
5342That time, if I’d helped with everything I had.
5343
5344If I’d done that...
5345
5346Would you have forgiven me?
5347
5348
5349
5350
5351
5352Chapter 7: What scenery Ebina Hina sees beyond the lens of her eyeglasses.
5353
5354
5355
5356
5357I hate going to school a lot.
5358
5359Or rather, I really hate going to the classroom.
5360
5361To put it more accurately, I awfully hate seeing Hayama Hayato.
5362
5363Or even more precisely, every time I meet Hayama, my body becomes uneasy and I stammer, but he, on the other hand, just acts normally as if there's nothing awkward at all. I absolutely hate this.
5364
5365Nope.
5366
5367If I have to spit out the truth from my heart, seeing him wearing a normal face, yet suddenly noticing him showing a somehow hurt face from aside, and in a flash it's gone - the fact that I noticed this series of his expressions is absolutely disgusting for me.
5368
5369Because we parted from each other yesterday without finishing our words but merely making excuses, I was not able to identify what type of reaction he was holding then - he opened his mouth widely, with a surprised face as if seeing some endangered species. I knew he was going to soon say something very annoying, so I quickly ran away from the scene.
5370
5371In the morning at the classroom, as I looked furtively at the window in the back, I could see Hayama and others chatting cheerfully as usual. I laid my face down on the desk immediately then.
5372
5373The scene there hadn't changed a bit from the usual one,
5374
5375where the sunlight poured into the room through the window, accompanied by cheerful conversations and delightful happy faces.
5376
5377However, just for fraction of a second, on that overflowed smiling face, I sensed a tiny bit of worry and anxiety.
5378
5379Perhaps there wasn't that much to read from the smile; or perhaps, just as usual, it was simply that very same pleasant smile that Hayama wears all the time.
5380
5381In that case, that tiny bit of worry and anxiety might just be my own interpretation that I read from and forced upon him at my own will. Or maybe it simply came from within myself.
5382
5383For this reason, I did not want to have any proper conversation with Hayama at all.
5384
5385I noticed that even though I pretended not to see it, but in the end I couldn’t resist but see through it so clearly - a sense of disgust began to spring up in my heart. Maybe Hayama was feeling the exact same thing as I was.
5386
5387Therefore, in the end, Hayama and I kept on further misunderstanding each other, without looking into each other's eyes genuinely, but merely finding mistakes from the other and conflicting with each other angrily.
5388
5389Because of the above realization, I decided to resist firmly against casting my eyes at Hayama.
5390
5391Well, actually it wasn't entirely a bad thing as it sounded. Thanks to this, I was able to confirm one thing. Putting it into words made me further solidify my intention to carry it out.
5392
5393I wanted to brag and talk big about man’s stubbornness.
5394
5395So, I idled my time away without looking at Hayama at all.
5396
5397I raised my head from the desk and peeked at the wall clock. I sighed so deeply as I did not remember how many times I had repeated this same set of actions. I stared at the hands of the wall clock and felt like they had been moving a lot slower than usual.
5398
5399Though I was sitting at my own seat, I felt rather uneasy and only wanted the school to end as soon as possible.
5400
5401
5402
5403
5404
54057-2
5406
5407
5408
5409
5410Come on, end of class, please come now!
5411
5412Though I had been praying so, when the end-of-class bell actually rang, I immediately dashed out of the classroom and went to the Game Club room; there, I made an even deeper sigh.
5413
5414It all began with my briefing.
5415
5416"...Eh, so, Hayama said he won't help us."
5417
5418As soon as my memory from yesterday arose, I couldn’t help but put up a bitter face. Yet, it looked like everyone else's faces turned even more bitter.
5419
5420"Whaat..."
5421
5422"We are done for..."
5423
5424"We have finally reached the end of our rope..."
5425
5426Hatano and Sagami both frowned and Zaimokuza sighed very deeply with a troubled face. Only Yuigahama smiled bitterly to try to comfort them.
5427
5428"Well, it's okay... We are still yet to talk to Kaihin-Sougou HS. Right, Hikki-?"
5429
5430"That's correct. So, let's contact them first."
5431
5432As I talked, I quickly turned my face to Yuigahama.
5433
5434However, while dropping her hands loosely under the table, Yuigahama tilted her head in question.
5435
5436"W...what?"
5437
5438"Eh, um, their contact..."
5439
5440"...Huh? You are asking me? I thought you knew it, Hikki-?"
5441
5442While still keeping her head tilted, this time she leaned her head in the other direction.
5443
5444Then, silence befell.
5445
5446It all happened in a flash - our eyes met and crossed - I quickly turned my eyes to Zaimokuza, who then looked at Sagami, who turned his head and nodded at Hatano, who threw his stares back at me. After our eye contacts made a loop, I turned my attention back to Yuigahama.
5447
5448"I see, you really didn't know it... I don’t quite want to reach out to them myself,... would they consider it awkward if I suddenly call them...?"
5449
5450Yuigahama sighed slightly exhaustedly, and then took out her smartphone from the pocket.
5451
5452It's all right. It's all right. All guys have undergone the exact same trouble as you were experiencing at this moment. In any case, it would definitely be considered awkward. "What's up with this dude suddenly asking me what's covered in the assignment...", - all girls think like this. Hence, I cast a warm, comforting gaze to Yuigahama, who then looked at me and said,
5453
5454"Speaking of which, Hikki-, don't you have... Orimoto-san's contact?"
5455
5456"I deleted it."
5457
5458"You dele..."
5459
5460After hearing my immediate response, Yuigahama immediately froze her hand holding her smartphone and went completely speechless.
5461
5462"Normally you would delete those right away after graduating from the middle school right? It's not like I will see them ever again in my life. I do not want to waste the memory space."
5463
5464"That's not normal at all!"
5465
5466I spat out my words but Yuigahama immediately denied them. Nevertheless, other guys showed very little response, or actually, they all sympathized with my verdict and nodded their heads together. Yuigahama then looked at them, twice again, and then for a third time.
5467
5468"Wait, what!? Am I the weird one here?"
5469
5470Yuigahama clasped her head firmly.
5471
5472"But didn't you exchange your contact information with Orimoto-san back then?"
5473
5474"... yeah, just in case... I was kind of acting as the point of contact at the Christmas event. But it's not like we talked to each other much either..."
5475
5476Yuigahama's voice weakened as she continued to speak, with her shoulders dropping in downcast.
5477
5478Actually now come to think of it, Yuigahama backed us up and was acting as a point of contact for us in various matters. She was also responsible for managing money related stuff, if I remembered correctly. However, since we couldn't have a proper conversation with those Kaihin-Sougou guys *at all*, we decided to instead reach out to those girls centered around Orimoto. I had no idea how many times Yuigahama had met Orimoto in person, nor had I seen two of them having a friendly conversation. If anything, I think they had more awkward encounters than normal ones.
5479
5480Communication Monster Yuigahama and Yes-woman Orimoto might not actually get along with each other. Well, that's because their first encounting was kind of an accident... I couldn't be helped, if I had to say... By the way, it was all Hayama's fault! Preach it!! Eh well not quite, it's not like I had no part to be blamed for at all... Having this realization, I decided to bring up my suggestion in a low voice.
5481
5482"If you tell me the contact, I'll send the message."
5483
5484Thereupon, Yuigahama looked up from her smartphone, on which she hadn't typed a single word yet, and turned her eyes to me with a swollen cheek.
5485
5486"Hikki-, you don't even use LINE."
5487
5488'Ugu', I was tongue-tied immediately. Kids these days... Their way of communication is already all high-tech stuff. Actually no, I also wished to use those Precure stamps too. However, due to lack of contacts, I'm perfectly fine at the moment not using LINE.
5489
5490Well, I felt sorry to Yuigahama for having to let her take the responsibility. Seemed to be a little bit troubled, Yuigahama began typing and composing her messages on LINE. As I was looking at Yuigahama doing her job, I heard some grumbles coming from nearby.
5491
5492"How does this guy live a normal life without using LINE..."
5493
5494"What a primitive man living in the stone age... A Chiba primitive man..."
5495
5496"This guy loves Chiba so much that he hasn't evolved a single bit from Chibanian. Because of the reversal of terrestrial magnetism, he didn't use LINE or any messaging app. He has only been using carrier mail so far."
5497
5498"That's not true! I also Web Mail and SMS."
5499
5500I quickly jumped up and argued against them. Three of them all went puzzled.
5501
5502"I haven't been using mail service at all lately..."
5503
5504"Speaking of Jomon people, is the local one here called Kasori Midden?
5505
5506"Hmm, looks like the time has advanced a little bit. Let's start using Hachiman pagers!"
5507
5508The three glasses filled themselves with bursts of laughs while talking mindlessly without caring about being offensive to me. I knew that Hatano says terrible things all the time but now Sagami was also being a terrible human being. Even his sister is cuter that way... That's a joke.
5509
5510No no, it wasn't the right time to care about all of this.
5511
5512Let me see. I cast my eyes aside to see how the contacting had been going. While mumbling "ok, ok" at the same time, Yuigahama kept typing sentences on her phone.
5513
5514"So... what should I ask them?"
5515
5516"For now just send them the prom proposal file as an attachment. Tell them that we want to set up a meeting with them with regard to the proposal as soon as possible. You could tell them to bring up the schedule for either today, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow."
5517
5518"File as an, attach,..., attachment?"
5519
5520Yuigahama just chanted 'File as an attachment'! Yuigahama was in great confusion! It's true that the name sounded a little parupint-ish... O Yuigahama-san seemed to have no idea how to send a file as an attachment. Then no wonder that she didn't know the meaning of the word 'attachment'.
5521
5522Sagami could not stand to see this happen and pushed his glasses straight. He then asked politely.
5523
5524"Ah, you have to upload it to the cloud first. What cloud storage service do you use?"
5525
5526"Sto...rage?"
5527
5528Yuigahama waved her head left and then right, while Hatano made a long sigh and shook his head.
5529
5530"She’s hopeless... She definitely didn't understand a bit... Shall we upload it to Dropbox or something?"
5531
5532"Hmm... It might be easier for her to understand if we just do File Transfer, since we only need to give her the link."
5533
5534"Ah, that's true. Let me borrow the computer."
5535
5536Zaimokuza crossed his arms and thought hard with his head tilted. To that, I snapped my fingers and pulled over the Game Club laptop on the long table. I swiftly uploaded the proposal to some file transfer server and obtained the link. In addition, I further composed the message that asked for the schedule and sent it over to Yuigahama.
5537
5538"Here, just copy and paste it."
5539
5540"O...okay... At least I know how to copy and paste."
5541
5542Showing a relaxed expression, Yuigahama smiled gently at me and immediately went back typing on her smartphone. We just stayed there and all stared at her. Finally, 'fuu~', Yuigahama sighed in exhaustion.
5543
5544"Was it sent?"
5545
5546"Yep, just now."
5547
5548Yuigahama smiled bashfully while fondling her hair bun. And then everyone broke out their smiles in satisfaction. What is this feeling of being the Princess of an Otaku Club... Even that Zaimokuza racked his brain order to assert his usefulness. Gahama-san, what a formidable girl!
5549
5550Anyhow, we just had to wait for the response from him.
5551
5552Meanwhile, I checked out the website that they made and exclaimed, "Looks really good! Looks so good that I want to try three more designs! Just let me see it by next Monday and it’s fine!" and etc - what was this stupid business-client game we were playing.
5553
5554Suddenly, Yuigahama's smartphone vibrated momentarily.
5555
5556"Did it come?"
5557
5558"No, it didn't. It's Yumiko. She asked when to meet?"
5559
5560Yuigahama covered her lips with her smartphone and looked at me. It was about the request that asked Miura to serve as the model in the photograph.
5561
5562"Since the sunset takes place at 5:30PM, let's convene at 4:30. We could get our hands ready and then wait for the evening glow before we start taking photos.”
5563
5564"Okay."
5565
5566As I finished my words, Yuigahama immediately started typing. I looked at her sideways and then turned my eyes to look beyond the window.
5567
5568Just according to my research yesterday, today's weather is clear.
5569
5570There were some clouds here and there but perhaps that'd be great for creating a beautiful evening glow.
5571
5572After I stared at the setting sun for a while, I promptly began preparing for photographing next.
5573
5574
5575
5576
5577
55787-3
5579
5580
5581
5582
5583Soon after the sunset, the wind by the seaside turned more chilly and the smell of tide stronger. The mild ripples hit the shore, bounced back and then emitted twinkling lights.
5584
5585Being forced to squint my eyes due to the burning red evening glow, I put down my belongings that I held in hand on the beach with a thud. We decided to use the gazebo a little far from the beach as our preparation spot and there we began preparing for photographing.
5586
5587We borrowed a washtub and couple thermal pots from the school, placed them all on the ground heavily, along with some body warmers that we bought from a 100-yen shop. This beach was used as a seaside resort during summer times, with well-equipped facilities like shower rooms. But now in this season, it didn't look like it was serving that purpose at all. For this reason, just in case someone got wet or dirty, we had to rely on our own washtub and warm water to gently wash off the ocean water and sand. We also prepared a good amount of hot water needed to serve our dear models.
5588
5589There, Zaimokuza, who helped moving stuff here with us, cast his eyes at me awkwardly.
5590
5591"What a strong Assistant Director ability you have!"
5592
5593"That's not quite right. I hoped we had blankets and bigger bench coats..."
5594
5595and tents, and a fire stand... Maybe it's finally about the time for me to prepare for Solo Camp. After all, we were talking about bring girls out in this place of chilly wilderness. We needed to at the very least get those equipment ready. We wanted to be perfect in our readiness for this kind of cold weather, but unfortunately due to lack of support and money, we couldn't. So as I spoke, Zaimokuza held his coat collar tighter.
5596
5597"I.. I won't give you this coat!"
5598
5599"No need, thank you..."
5600
5601Even I got so sickened by him. If he said that to a girl that'd be much grosser. Well, let me check out how the models were doing now. So I looked into the direction where the bench was, and saw Miura Yumiko trembling, holding her arms crossed tightly and rubbing frequently.
5602
5603"Damn! Cold, cold, cold! Yui, the body warmer, body warmer, body warmer!"
5604
5605"Behind? Or the front?"
5606
5607"Both!"
5608
5609Miura rolled up the hem of her blazer and showed the back of her brouse. There, Yuigahama stuck the body warmers one after another. The scene looked too immoral and indecent to me so I sensed that I just saw something that I shouldn't be seeing. Welp, I was paying very close attention though.
5610
5611However, it looked like they were already done with their preparations.
5612
5613I let Zaimokuza watch out our stuff and headed towards the girls with the camera in hand.
5614
5615"I'm really grateful for your cooperation. It really helps."
5616
5617"...huh??"
5618
5619After seeing me lowered my head slightly, Miura expressed perplexity on her face. She gazed at me intently as if she just saw a muntjac wandering in a city. Hey, it wasn't that surprising, okay? Recently in Chiba the number of muntjacs also seemed to have increased a lot, too many that they always roar "Kyon-kun! Kyon-kun!".
5620
5621"Yoroshiku-!"
5622
5623Ebina stood aside and waved her hands gently at me with a delightful smile. Hearing her voice, Miura froze for a while, but soon came back to herself.
5624
5625"...ah, um, well. I was asked by Yui, so."
5626
5627She dodged her face away as if trying to peek at Yuigahama. She explained curtly while pulling her curly hair. Probably because of the sunset, her face wore a slight flush. Oh well, oh well! Looked like she was feeling shy and embarrassed, hehehe...
5628
5629Hold on, not quite the good time to be amused by the situation. Time's limited for the sun to stay above the horizon.
5630
5631"So, let's get started, okay?"
5632
5633"Ah, okay."
5634
5635Yuigahama responded me with a nod, then turned her urging eyes to Miura and Ebina and started walking along the beach. After confirming the feeling that I was trampling sand in my shoes, I decided to follow her.
5636
5637Immediately following the tide hitting the beach, I told them to stop briefly, and then took a few steps back and hold up the camera.
5638
5639First of all, let me determine the composition of the photo.
5640
5641Using the wide angle lens, the evening glow should be captured as its main big subject, with the glowing sky reflected and the pale ocean along the bottomline. The lens was set to focus on somewhere slightly above the horizon line. Right in front were the sand and the beach that began darkening, followed by the shoreline dyed in orange, and then the red-melted cloud that created a gradation effect. Yuigahama and Miura's back view were shown with slight bokeh effect to the right of the photo.
5642
5643Two maidens stood side by side before the evening glow, yet each with a different pose.
5644
5645Miura left her hands in the pocket and stared into the sun setting ocean afar in awe; whereas Yuigahama turned her body slightly around in my direction as if she was caring about something here.
5646
5647While I pressed the shutter many times, I directed them their standing positions with my hand gestures, and also took some effort to change my own shooting positions. Meanwhile, since the air was quite freezing, both of them wore their coats and tracksuit pants below their skirts... Hmm, it looks quite good this way... I felt like I just infiltrated into an all-girl high school!
5648
5649As I was thinking so and peeked into the viewfinder, Miura complained "Eh, so cold!" loudly enough so that I could hear it, and turned her body around and stared at me angrily.
5650
5651"Hikio-, quick!"
5652
5653"Yes..."
5654
5655I held up the camera again.
5656
5657The evening glow was drawn and sank into the clouds.
5658
5659I tried to take a few photos, but none of them so far were satisfiable.
5660
5661I bore the reference photo and its composition in mind while hitting the shutter button but for some reason I still couldn't capture it well enough in the frame.
5662
5663On a sun-setting beach, girls wearing school uniforms stood side by side - should be as simple as that, but still I could not turn it into a photogenic scene. Honestly, I don't think it'll ever look attractive. I would like to have it look like something that could be printed on an H.I.S. pamphlet titled 'Graduation Trip in Hawaii', or like like some cover photo for 'We were here'.
5664
5665While I was holding the camera and scratching my head, Ebina suddenly showed up from behind.
5666
5667"Can I borrow it?"
5668
5669Saying so, she just took the camera from my hand.
5670
5671"Here, do this, this way."
5672
5673She returned the camera to me after hitting the shutter button a few times. When I looked at the preview, it turned out to be precisely the composition I had in mind.
5674
5675"Oh wow, looks so professional...!"
5676
5677"Right!?"
5678
5679I couldn't hold back my exclamation but to express it. Ebina straightened up her chest proudly.
5680
5681"A~l~s~o~"
5682
5683Perhaps because of her good mood, Ebina hummed happily and ran towards Yuigahama and Miura. And then, she suddenly assaulted them in surprise, stripping off both their coats and their pants.
5684
5685"Dyufufufufufu. Isn't this better? Isn't this better?"
5686
5687"Baka baka baka! Ebina you really are..."
5688
5689Ebina pressed the resisting Miura even harder - taking off her shoes and was about to even remove her socks. Is she a Datsueba? The scenery in front of me almost unfolded into a Rashoumon-like situation.
5690
5691"Let me do it myself. I said I'll do it myself!"
5692
5693Yuigahama distanced herself from Ebina for a few steps, took off and threw away both her shoes and socks. Miura failed to resist Ebina, who pressed Miura down on the ground and removed her socks.
5694
5695Thereupon, I was able to respectively behold dear Miss Miura's feet. I felt like I was also able to peek into her skirts in a glance, but then I quickly turned my face away from her and timely pushed the shutter button. Hey, it's not like it! It was merely out of my instinct and I just unconsciously pressing the shutter button again and again!
5696
5697"So cold!"
5698
5699"Cold, cold, eh, sands so cold!"
5700
5701Yuigahama pattered on the ground rapidly, while Miura trembled and was bewildered by this freshly surprising situation.
5702
5703
5704
5705
5706
5707"Fufufu. Of course, as I expected, naked feet is the best together with girls wearing school uniforms by the sea!"
5708
5709Ebina put up a satisfying smile and walked back towards me. I know right... I nodded to her. Ebina held out her hands to me - seemed like she offered to take photos! Thank goodness. It's the best to just entrust the job to those who possess the photographic skills and senses!
5710
5711I handed the camera over to her obediently. After mumbling some terms like 'daytime synchronization of the flash light', 'the subject depth of field' and such such, Ebina held up the camera.
5712
5713"Okay---! Ready?"
5714
5715After hearing the call, Yuigahama and Miura stood still by the sea. Perhaps because it was too cold, they naturally stuck even closer to each other. Suddenly and unexpectedly, Yuigahama held Miura's hand and said something to her in low voice. Due to their faraway distance and the wind noise, I was not able to catch any of it.
5716
5717However, with their smiles that were decorated by secrets crossing over - that picturesque scenery was so extraordinarily beautiful that it completely rendered me speechless and stunned.
5718
5719That was a short moment after the day ended but right before the night fell. The time that we were spending now was perhaps already beyond our imagination and comprehension.
5720
5721As I was being charmed by the moment, Ebina sighed quietly and put down the camera.
5722
5723"Later let's take some casual photos. Both of you can go romp freely now!"
5724
5725Ebina shouted at those two and then handed the camera back to me. It looked like I needed to take the photos from then on. 'Don't stop the shutter!' as I was told so, I had no choice but to obey her. So I started taking pictures of the romping two.
5726
5727"Yui, you are getting me wet, you are getting me wet! Yabai yabai yabai!"
5728
5729"Wait for me, wait for me!"
5730
5731Miura and Yuigahama ran along the shoreline. Whenever the tide hit the beach, they would scream in 'hyai hyai!' and ran away in a fuss.
5732
5733"Yep yep, all good photos..."
5734
5735While I was talking photos, Ebina next to me was already taking photos herself with her smartphone before I could notice when she began doing so.
5736
5737"By the way, you were also called here to be a model though!"
5738
5739"Ehh? It's beautiful enough already with you two. I am too rotten to be a model!" (too rotten sounds the same as ‘not enough (beautiful)’)
5740
5741"Ah..."
5742
5743"Well, speaking of models I think Hikitani-kun and Hayato-kun were also good choices in my opinion. Ah, that's rotten...! And there, with Hayato-kun he begin to...!"
5744
5745Rotturbing... Eh no! Disturbing giggles Ebina had, she secretly peeked at me and then loosened her lips promiscuously.
5746
5747"Is this kind of a sexual harassment?"
5748
5749As I said so and took three steps back away from her, Ebina leaned back straight and exclaimed in exaggeration.
5750
5751"No problem at all! I'm not that sexy after all. I am not sure if sexual harassment from someone who isn't sexually appealing can be still be called that way."
5752
5753"What kind of explanation is that, I can't really answer you... isn't it still sexual harassment?"
5754
5755I really had trouble answering Ebina, since I never treated her as someone who's attractive to me. By the way, now come to think of it, I felt like I started to think of her that way though! That way!
5756
5757That's true. To a girl saying things like "it's because I'm not cute~", I still had no idea how to respond correctly. I bet in most cases flatterings like "that's not the case at all!" should work. Yet I felt like the same scenario doesn't quite apply in the case of Ebina Hina.
5758
5759While I was having trouble coming up with a proper response, Ebina cast her eyes to the horizon afar. And then, suppressing her skirt gently, she lowered her body and squatted down, resting her head on top of her knees. She then started mumbling in short words.
5760
5761"... this is kind of annoying to me..."
5762
5763"What's annoying?"
5764
5765"Love, affection, sex, and so on..."
5766
5767"Eh, well... I'm getting really embarrassed and don't really want to talk about that right now though."
5768
5769I quickly turned my face away. After hearing her say it in a serious tone, so frankly and without any reservation, I started feeling quite uneasy and embarrassed. To me it didn't sound like a philosophical discussion at all, but simply a half-hearted talk about the reality. It wasn't a really topic that I want to be fond of.
5770
5771Nevertheless, after hearing my response, Ebina shook her shoulders and smiled gently.
5772
5773"Since we aren't interested in each other at all, we can technically talk about it right?"
5774
5775"... well, that's true..."
5776
5777Being told that way, I could not make any denials.
5778
5779In a way, I trust Ebina Hina's way of taking her distance from others - not too far as strangers but not too close to be called friends. She placed herself in a sweet spot where relationships like acquaintance or neighbor were not easily breakable.
5780
5781While keeping distance that won’t absolutely get closer, Ebina continued her words on her own.
5782
5783"Well, everything will be fine in the end, right?"
5784
5785"What are you referring to?"
5786
5787I was a little bit afraid of asking something that's too ambiguous or off the point, and thus getting ignored by her, so I phrased my question more concisely.
5788
5789"After all, Hikigaya-kun is different from me."
5790
5791Perhaps I had heard the very same cold voice somewhere else. I couldn’t really see her eyes with which she looked at Miura and other, but even so, I could tell that deep beyond her glasses were her abysmal pupils that looked like deep sea.
5792
5793"...did you hear anything?"
5794
5795When I asked her, she finally turned her eyes to me.
5796
5797"From whom? About what?"
5798
5799Her pupils were so cold that it did not reflect any bit of the color of sunset. Nevertheless, she broke into smile as if she was teasing me. That made me feel slightly uncomfortable. I shrugged my shoulders lightly and looked down to the camera in my hand.
5800
5801"Never mind. Nothing actually."
5802
5803After I dodged her questions, Ebina turned her eyes back to the shoreline at Yuigahama and Miura, who were still running back and forth like puppies.
5804
5805"... I just observe you normally, and I get *it*. In some sense I'm also involved in it. Also I heard things from Yui as well."
5806
5807As I expected, you did hear things...
5808
5809That was the reason why you felt like wanting to talk to me. I had no idea what she heard and how she heard it, and had no intention to ask her for further explanations.
5810
5811However, I was a bit concerned by her verdict that she just observed me normally and understood. I don't think I'm a simple-minded human being. It's also slightly annoying and unsettling that she was able to understand the situation that easily. After all, I put a lot of effort into thinking and planning all this, but then you talked to me as if you had seen everything through - this is making me quite uneasy...
5812
5813Despite so, people always say 'Lookers-on see most of the game.' It's true that, sometimes unexpectedly bystanders other than us could understand the situation much better. Even much more so if that bystander is Ebina Hina.
5814
5815However, I didn't want to ask her too attentively. So I put up a poker face, and asked her casually while pretending to operate the camera.
5816
5817"... when you said *it*, do people all get *it* and understand *it*?"
5818
5819"Needless to say, Hayato-kun does, right? While, Tobecchi is too kind of that to get it. Others, I don't really care... As for Yumiko..., let me stop here right now."
5820
5821"Huh, what is that? That sounds scary..."
5822
5823I totally forgot to keep putting up the poker-face and instinctively looked in her direction. Ebina then laughed gently as if she meant to imply something from it. Once she was done laughing, she looked sideways at me.
5824
5825"It's not like I have any idea why things ended up this way, nor am I qualified to say or comment on them. In any case, isn't there an easier way to approach it?"
5826
5827I smiled bitterly at her words.
5828
5829I was always told the same thing by someone, actually, by everyone.
5830
5831Even one sentence is definitely enough to solve and end the problem.
5832
5833Nevertheless, as simple and easy as it sounds, I would never allow it to be said.
5834
5835"The easiest thing is the hardest. To me what I am doing now is the easiest."
5836
5837As I finished my words, Ebina turned her head to me and stared at me.
5838
5839"Pfumm, gross."
5840
5841"...eh, okay."
5842
5843Being blatantly told so in such an uninterested voice, I dropped by shoulders. Well, I'm well aware of how gross I am, so I have nothing to complain about that part.
5844
5845Yet Ebina's face didn't show as much disgust as her words did, but still filled with her smile.
5846
5847"Well, I can sort of get it. I don't really hate this kind of pessimism."
5848
5849I nodded in response without speaking a word, and then cast my eyes to the surface of the ocean where the evening sunlight glittered glamorously.
5850
5851Perhaps our parts of our philosophy are close already. Giving excuses such as 'I am rotten from inside' and so on, and the putting up a facade that we both painted and solidified in front of others - these are the parts that we are able to both sympathize with each other.
5852
5853If I had to explain my actions in the words of Ebina, then the answer would probably something similar to pessimism. I wouldn't say it the correct way, but it wouldn't also diverge too much from the right one. That tiny little nuance has made me confirm that.
5854
5855Ebina and I were different indeed. Although we sympathized with each other, we reached different conclusions. This distance, in some sense, was similar to the one between Hayama and me.
5856
5857Despite being similar, or close, or seemingly the same, they were in fact different. Over the past year, I had been trying to confirm that.
5858
5859Perhaps, she and I are again, the same.
5860
5861Instead of correcting Ebina's statements, I chose to stay silent. It was meaningless to try to correct it at this point.
5862
5863Mixed with the noised of the tide was their voices of happiness and enjoyment.
5864
5865"Ebina-! Let's take-"
5866
5867"photos together-!"
5868
5869Miura and Yuigahama waved their hands widely at the shoreline and called Ebina loudly. Maybe because they had been running here and there, the air that they breathed out turned white, their cheeks were dyed in red, but they definitely didn't feel cold at all; or rather, that was the only warm place.
5870
5871"Yeah, coming-"
5872
5873After being called out, Ebina quickly stood up and peeked quickly at me and the camera in my hand. She gently tucked her hair which was trimmed down to her shoulders behind her ears and smiled at me as if saying just 'Yoroshiku' to me. She then immediately pattered towards them.
5874
5875After seeing her off, I held up the camera.
5876
5877
5878
5879
5880
58817-4
5882
5883
5884
5885
5886On the next day following our photograph event, the weather was as clear as the day before.
5887
5888The sun had already risen high, with the sunlight penetrating through the gap between the curtains and eventually burning on my eyelids.
5889
5890Today is March 3rd, Saturday, 10 days before the graduation ceremony.
5891
5892More importantly, today is the sister of the world Hikigaya Komachi's birthday.
5893
5894Despite so, my schedule was fully occupied from the morning to the evening.
5895
5896Normally I would prepare a luxury present full of my love for Komachi's sake, and celebrate her birthday with a grand party. Unfortunately, for the past few days I was occupied and postponed by a series of dummy prom related matters. Hate it! I hate work...! Just as usual I wanted to spit out this feeling of hatred and roughness. But this time since I acted out of my own will to choose to take all this work myself, this time I swallowed back all the pain, cheered at myself and suddenly jumped out of the bed. This is the road that I chose to walk on myself so it'd be quite wrong to grumble about it afterwards. Given that I was my own employer all the complaints and pains that I grumbled about and words that I cried out would ultimately get sent back to myself. In other words, self-employment is indeed very tough.
5897
5898While my brain spun as if covered by mist that arose from couple days' of tiredness, I headed over to the washroom. Even though the date had changed, the cold water that I splashed over my face hadn't turned warmer by a bit. I then forced my eyes to open.
5899
5900I quickly turned my eyes to the clock - it was already past 9 o'clock. If I didn’t hurry then I'd probably miss the meetup soon. I climbed up the staircase, rushed back to my room and took the school uniform that hung on the wall. I quickly put my arms through the sleeves, grabbed my bag in my arms and hurried downstairs.
5901
5902I was thinking about saying goodbye first before leaving the house, so I peeked into the living room and saw Komachi - who was still wearing a pajama and watching TV lazily while sticking her feet inside the kotatsu.
5903
5904It looked like my parents were still sleeping soundly at the moment. In the living room, besides Komachi there was also Kamakura sleeping by the window under the sunshine and making a quiet snoring noise from his nose.
5905
5906"So, I'm about to head out..."
5907
5908"Alright, Itterasshai!"
5909
5910I put on my coat as I spoke, whereas Komachi just slowly waved her hands without looking in my direction and Kamakura hit the ground with his tail.
5911
5912That was a scene that didn't change a bit from a usual weekend. Although it was her birthday, she didn't seem to have any particular reaction to it. On the other hand, I was so impressed that the field was so moistened with this much irrigation. Well, that's a different kangai though.
5913
5914Nevertheless, no matter how impressed by the scene I was, I was still so poorly prepared for any Komachi's birthday celebration whatsoever. Recently even our dinner table conversations had been contaminated by topics related to my work, so needless to say I hadn't had the chance at all to talk to Yuigahama about buying a birthday present for Komachi.
5915
5916Even if I wanted to celebrate her birthday after coming back home, I don't think I had the time, nor the money, nor the spirit to carry it out. Maybe Komachi didn't care about it so much, but for me I'd feel extra uneasy if I don't at least say a word about it.
5917
5918"Ah... Komachi, happy birthday."
5919
5920I coughed a couple times as I said so in a low voice. If I had said so while looking straight into Komachi's face I'd be really embarrassed, but thank god Komachi was facing at somewhere else... As I thought so, Komachi reversed her body and laid down on the ground.
5921
5922Then she rolled on the ground for a couple rounds and while keep lying on the ground, she rested her chin on her hands and giggled.
5923
5924"Onii-chan, thank you!"
5925
5926Just a few seconds ago, she was facing away from me as if she wasn't paying attention to my words at all. But as soon as I congratulated her, Komachi showed a happy smiling face at me. Couldn't resist that kawaii face, I also broke into a smile. As soon as I did it, Komachi again laughed with her nose - hmph hmph hmph... with her nose!? I cast my eyes at her in doubt. She then began talking restlessly.
5927
5928"Pretending that everything was just like usual as if nothing was happening, but as soon as hearing Onii-chan's congratulations I quickly turned super cheerful... That scored very high in the Komachi standard!"
5929
5930That's true... If you hadn't said that it would have scored even higher though... But I already knew that this was Komachi's world-class way of hiding her shyness. Because of this, I was about to have a very tough time saying the following words.
5931
5932"So, as for today's arrangement..."
5933
5934"Yep, I totally understand. Don't worry about it!"
5935
5936Komachi nodded and smiled gently.
5937
5938"Yui is waiting for you, right? So hurry up!"
5939
5940"... how do you know?"
5941
5942I didn't say anything about today's arrangement to Komachi though... so as I asked her in surprise, Komachi grabbed her smartphone and started flicking the screen.
5943
5944"At 12am I got the HBD message from her, and then, she just told me about it."
5945
5946"Ah, I see..."
5947
5948Komachi phrased it as if it wasn't anything impressive, but that genuinely scared me. How scary it is to have my movement leaked from some other source to my sister! Is it not scary? Hey, speaking of which, Gahama-san, you seemed to be telling various things to Komachi. I would really like to learn about the entire network - the source, and the destination of this network of connections... However, I'd rather not get into trouble for asking it the wrong way... Guy’s complicated issues!
5949
5950As I was moaning to myself, Komachi bent backward, lifted one finger and laughed in 'fu fu fu'.
5951
5952"I would love to enjoy a birthday celebration and also really appreciate receiving presents. But I'm okay with delaying them until everyone is together."
5953
5954"...ah, right.."
5955
5956As I responded in a few words, I suddenly began thinking myself.
5957
5958'Everyone'... Who was she referring to? I could somehow guess but I have zero confidence in my ability to grant her the wish.
5959
5960Maybe she was a little bit surprised by my voice that ended up going down unconsciously in the end; Komachi looked at me while still resting her head on her hands. Her eyes were raised up as if trying to look for something. Our eyes met. I couldn't help but begin to wear a bitter smile on my face. Komachi shrugged her shoulders and began murmuring.
5961
5962"Well, I'm okay if not everyone can come. I even consider it barely safe, in the worst case scenario, to only have only Onii-chan present.”
5963
5964Her voice were filled with warmth. Thanks to it, I was able to wash off the stiffness on my face and responded to her with a light laugh.
5965
5966"The worst case scenario...eh? *barely* safe?"
5967
5968"I meant whatever, I don't really care much. By the way, don't make Yui wait!"
5969
5970She waved her hand at me to urge me to leave quickly, and then started rolling back again. I sighed deeply, as if I just let go a huge burden that suppressed me. I peeked one more time at her and left the living room.
5971
5972
5973
5974
5975
59767-5
5977
5978
5979
5980
5981Since I left my home late, I gave up riding my bike and decided to head over to the meetup place by train and bus. I flipped and scanned through the materials in the moving train carriage to get myself prepared for the meeting.
5982
5983Partly thanks to Yuigahama's help, we were fortunate to be able to quickly settle down on a meeting date and time. Since I felt it was quite burdensome to talk to Tamanawa, I took it as part of my job to skim through some business terminology books in order to increase our share of common language.
5984
5985Soon, I arrived at the closest station near the meetup place, and quickly hurried over to the community center where the meeting took place.
5986
5987It would have been a lot easier if we could just hold the meeting in our school. However, our school usually doesn't let outsiders in, unless by going through some official procedures. But as someone who doesn't even belong to the Student Council, that'd be nearly impossible for me to do. On the other hand, it would seem a little too informal and casual if we held the meeting in a coffee shop. Considering the fact that we needed to upload a photo of the meeting on the SNS later, a more or less formal place would certainly be more preferable - just enough feeling of formality to make our dummy prom plan look more realistic... As I was thinking so and taking my steps forward, my smartphone began vibrating.
5988
5989After I checked the notification, it was a message from Yuigahama. The text straightforwardly wrote 'Expect to take a little longer?'. Thinking that this was pretty rare for Yuigahama given that she normally types much longer messages, I simply replied 'Almost there'.
5990
5991In fact, I already arrived at the front of the building. I looked around the entrance and its surroundings but was not able to spot Yuigahama there. It seemed that she already went inside.
5992
5993I climbed up the stairs in a rushed pace and then quickly headed over to the small meeting room that we reserved in advance.
5994
5995A few steps away from the room that I was about to enter, I could already vaguely hear Orimoto's voice. Without double confirming the room plate, I knew this room would be the small meeting room that we reserved. I knocked on the door and then opened it.
5996
5997After that, I saw Yuigahama already in there, and opposite to her sat Tamanawa and Orimoto.
5998
5999"Ah-, Hikigaya-, long time no see-"
6000
6001Orimoto waved her hand softly at me in a very delightful mood; whereas Tamanawa sitting next to her crossed his arms, blew up air over his forehead, and peeked at me briefly.
6002
6003In response, I also greeted them lightly with a nod and pulled out the chair next to Yuigahama, who then without saying anything out loud but only with her mouth movement said 'Yahallo-' to me. Indeed, it would be a little bit embarrassing to say that in front of other people, yep yep. Nevertheless, that way of secretly conveying things also felt somehow embarrassing to be seen by other people still!
6004
6005In order to cover up that embarrassment, I whispered at Yuigahama.
6006
6007"Didn't we agree to meet first at the entrance?"
6008
6009“Yeah… Eh, we met at the entrance first, and then, since it was too cold outside…”
6010
6011Yuigahama fuddled her hair bun as if she was a little troubled by it. She put up a bitter smile. Probably Orimoto talked to her light-heartedly just as usual, and then following the flow dragged Yuigahama inside. And then just like that, before I showed up, both of them probably had a not-so-close uneasy talk with each other… gross, I feel kind of sorry for her.
6012
6013“Ah, I see… I feel kind of sorry…”
6014
6015As I lowered my head, Yuigahama shook her head and put up a gentle smile. Maybe this exchange between us was seen by Orimoto, she deliberately clapped her hands loudly.
6016
6017“Ah… Really sorry about that! Yuigahama was planning to wait outside there but I told her to come in. It was quite cold outside, right? that’s also a preach-it...”
6018
6019If you had to say that was like Orimoto, it was quite like her – frankly expressing her apology. Rather than saying that she didn’t care about a sense of distance, she would still try to approach it knowing that the distance exists. She’s been like this for a while.
6020
6021“I… I see…. It’s okay. I don’t mind.”
6022
6023As I said so, Yuigahama also nodded her head in agreement. Orimoto also smiled.
6024
6025“Right, right! I also felt it was quite cold outside. It’s really okay.”
6026
6027“Alright. Then it’s fine...”
6028
6029Orimoto also put up a smile trying to cover it up, and at the same time fuddled her perm back and forth.
6030
6031How… how should I put this… This embarrassing atmosphere…. Just seeing Orimoto alone felt like “Crap…” but then together with Yuigahama it’d turn into a “Damn, crap, crap…” god-punch situation...
6032
6033Yuigahama and Orimoto both smiled at each other lightly. I was not able to peek into what kind of expression laid deep underneath those smiles.
6034
6035With that moment of heavily bitter silence kept going on, Orimoto finally opened her mouth after spitting out a short sigh.
6036
6037“Speaking of which, by the way, why didn’t Hikigaya contact us? The fact that Yuigahama was the one that contacted us really freaked me out.”
6038
6039Orimoto, who stared at me while complaining, filled her voice with dissatisfaction, but what she said was quite jocular. Thanks to that, the tight atmosphere was able to loosen up a little bit. I finally was able to slowly open my heavily-sealed mouth.
6040
6041“Ah, well, when I switched to a new phone at that time, eh things like this and that happened, so…”
6042
6043I couldn’t just say I deleted your contact right into her face, so I just mumbled it through trying to round up the story. Orimoto then interpreted it arbitrarily and then followed me up with her yeses.
6044
6045“Ah, the address book got changed right. Why don’t you tell me your LINE?”
6046
6047“I don’t use LINE though.”
6048
6049“That’s funny. Isn’t that an excuse used by girls?”
6050
6051“No, it’s not funny. Eh, girls’ way of refusal is quite terrible...”
6052
6053Judging from the fact that she mentioned it as girls’ excuses, perhaps it does happen quite frequently around Orimoto… ‘Is that Nakamachi-san? I feel you~ That person feels like that type~’, etc. I feel sorry for thinking it this way… Orimoto then tilted her head in her way.
6054
6055“Eh, what now then…”
6056
6057Casting her eyes afar, Orimoto hit her face with her smartphone and thought hard. Meanwhile, Tamanawa who sat next to her kept blowing the hair on his forehead, and sometimes coughed once or twice.
6058
6059And then, just as I expected, he looked at me with a very sharp gaze. I read into the air and returned him with another cough to prevent Orimoto from furthering the conversation. I then opened my bag and started grabbing things.
6060
6061“Well, let’s put that aside for now… So today, I’m here as a representative of the President of the Student Council, or rather as her deputy.”
6062
6063And then, the thing that I took out from the bag was the main topic of our meeting today - the proposal for the dummy prom. Though we had already sent digital copies to both Tamanawa and Orimoto, I still wanted to prepare a physical copy for the meeting today. This is an iron law for being a Company Slave. RIP the so-called ‘paperless’...
6064
6065“Recently we had been planning a prom, and gradually we had been thinking about scaling it up. I’m not saying we are going to do it right now for this upcoming one, but more like looking into it as an option starting from next year…”
6066
6067As I was speaking, Yuigahama next to me looked at me in surprised in a flash. I nodded to her in acknowledgement.
6068
6069To us, this dummy prom plan itself was targeting the graduating class of this year, but that was only limited to within our Soubu HS. In fact, the website that we were preparing then did not explicitly mention whether it was targeting this year or next year, but merely titled itself as the “New Prom”.
6070
6071From Tamanawa’s perspective, they couldn’t possibly accept holding such ridiculously absurd prom plan this year. If only we had enough time to do it, it would probably be easier to get them aboard. There was no need for us to tell them the whole story.
6072
6073Nevertheless, those small number of annoying parents from our school were only nagging about the prom this year. For this reason, when there’s a new prom plan that comes into the picture, obviously they are going to tag it along and start thinking about it. Seeing a prom plan that they already dislike become even more ridiculous, they would for sure stand up and try to destroy it right away.
6074
6075In fact, with regard to the when-to-happen concern that I just mentioned, neither Orimoto nor Tamanawa seemed to care about it. They took it for granted that I was obviously referring to next year or even later.
6076
6077Orimoto grabbed the proposal booklet in hand, and then made a sound as if she just lost her incentives.
6078
6079“Eh, this thing…”
6080
6081The front cover of the proposal that Orimoto was flipping then had rather meaningless characters and words printed in exaggerated fonts. With that Tamanawa could definitely…! He would definitely get it all! While thinking so, we quickly turned our eyes to Tamanawa bearing a sense of hope in mind.
6082
6083Thereupon, Tamanawa carefully read the proposal page by page, and sometimes as if finding something that concerned him, he would stop flipping and wear a difficult face. And then, he just sighed deeply.
6084
6085Eventually, he seemed to finish reading it and carefully closed the booklet. He raised up his face and poured his stare at me.
6086
6087“... so I have carefully read the proposal.”
6088
6089While saying so, Tamawana kept tapping the table with his finger in a slow tempo. He then blew up some air over his forehead.
6090
6091“It’s good that there’s a lot of diversity in it. However, other than that everything else is simply too abstract. There are so many needless things in it that the intention of the proposal simply digresses from its focus.”
6092
6093After hearing his words, I was so shocked that I had my mouth open widely and froze in amazement.
6094
6095“What… did you... say…”
6096
6097He did not use any of those attractive foreign terminologies at all…? When I was still in surprise, Tamanawa continued his words
6098
6099“I think it’s better to focus on words that have better expressive power. You want to make the proposal look realizable. Of course, I can understand the fact that you want to incorporate a sense of ‘upcoming expectation’ for an experimental event. But unfortunately, I don’t see any possible ways leading to it eventually.”
6100
6101He waved and moved his hands about widely as if practicing Tai chi. Tamanawa said so word by word in his reasonings, and in the end, pushed his forehead hair upward.
6102
6103“For this reason, your proposal doesn’t work.”
6104
6105Tamanawa’s eyes looked like as if they were implying “You have not yet reached that stage yet.” in sympathy.
6106
6107Why did it turn out like this… As I was thinking so, Yuigahama looked at me in a ‘Is he really this kind of person?’ confusing face. I shook my head gently in response, implying ‘I don’t know and don’t care after all’.
6108
6109Following my confusion, I cast my reserved eyes to Orimoto, who then put up a bitter smile and scratched her cheek. Judging from her reaction, it seemed that Tamanawa-san had been like this recently.
6110
6111It’s been a while since those who were regarded as ‘holding high consciousness’ had been made fun of. It looked like Tamanawa-san had been reading into this kind of atmosphere from his surroundings recently and perhaps started to consider changing his own image. In some sense, he had grown up and become more mature in a way. People always say “One who has been away for three days must be looked at with new eyes…” This saying describes him precisely… If I keep following his pace like this, I’d definitely get GAAAAAHHHH! wrecked by him while screaming hysterically.
6112
6113Wait, it wasn’t quite the time to be impressed by him. If Tamanawa refused to hop on board then my plan would be all over.
6114
6115What should I do now… as I was panicking, I started to shake my knees unconsciously. Tamanawa kept tapping the table with his finger as if he was waiting for my response. Yuigahama looked at me and then Tamanawa anxiously, and then sighed gently. Seeing this, Orimoto couldn’t hold her laugh but let it slip away.
6116
6117All these noises crossed over and became a disturbing track of cacophony. Its rhythm and beat further accelerated my feeling of anxiety. In any way, I had to open my mouth because I felt compelled to say something at that moment.
6118
6119It’s truly ‘freestyle’ just to lash out words one after another that jump out my mind. Words with high consciousness sounded abnormally harmonious with Japanese raps.
6120
6121“Your worry is the budgeto? But we used to having insufficient budgeto. So now we need to use the gadgeto! Think about the scale and adjusto! All I want to do is suggesto!”
6122
6123I did not think much about either the verse or the flow but just spouted out words at will. Tamanawa nodded his head rhythmically and took it all in. And then, he waved his hands in circle and soon replied.
6124
6125“Your argument is only temporal. The content of your proposal is only trivial. In case we need to work together, if not concrete we’d all get fucked over. Can you not see the direction? If you can’t answer this then the proposal go boom disappear. So all we need to do is to think together!”
6126
6127Tamanawa rapped and explained it all at ease, making me rather speechless. Despite so, I still responded.
6128
6129“We also just finished our draft. We simply need a native billboard. Though the direction is clearless, the concept only from Lincoln it comes, we then need to use our own hands to build the nests. But, if there’s nobody leading we then keep unmoving. On the budget we can crowdfunding, as long as it comes to people’s sight it’s relaxing.
6130
6131While I wiped off the sweat on my forehead, Tamanawa raised his eyebrows and listened to me light-heartedly in a relaxed way. Confirming that it had been one beat after I finished my rap, he flipped through the proposal booklet and tapped the part where it was fully loaded by my counter-Tamanawa high-consciousness measures.
6132
6133“Indeed there are some interests. But what I care are the excuses. Only small part of the proposal is of importance. Other contents are just nonsense. If we do it together then we work as a phalanx. But now we are simply inharmonious!”
6134
6135I believed he just waved his hands around a lot faster than before, and towards the end he pointed his finger as if he was firing a bullet at me.
6136
6137Though we joked around at each other, Tamanawa’s gaze penetrated me deeply and rendered me speechless. Indeed, just as Tamanawa said, this proposal took Tamanawa too lightly. I took it for granted that Tamanawa would hop on board if I simply write down a bunch of business terminologies without putting much thoughts about it.
6138
6139Nevertheless, human beings do change a lot. After all, Tamanawa was taught a lesson by Yukinoshita during the Christmas event. He should learn to change by then.
6140
6141“Eh, well, that is…”
6142
6143I gave up talking. Whatever. I didn’t have any words left. This guy was just as strong as I expected. I was out of ideas. So strong… After I sighed deeply to acknowledge my defeat, Tamanawa put up a smile full of his pride of winning it.
6144
6145“That’s why your proposal doesn’t work.”
6146
6147Being told straight into my face again so blatantly, I lost my words again. The game had eight sections and two turns. Before even reaching the third round, I already surrendered after taking a critical hit.
6148
6149“Eh… What now then…”
6150
6151As I dropped my head downcasted, Yuigahama, who had been observing our flow of exchanges until then, finally couldn’t bear taking at it anymore and opened her mouth carefully, half troubled half astounded. Orimoto instead had been looking at our exchange and holding her giggles back. She quickly wiped off the laughing tears that appeared by her eyes and took a deep breathe out. And then, she took the proposal book in her hand.
6152
6153“But this proposal looks quite fun still, doesn’t it?”
6154
6155“Ah, I know right!”
6156
6157As soon as Orimoto said so to Yuigahama, Yuigahama’s face quickly turned sparkling. Orimoto didn’t put much into thought while saying so, but seemed to merely express her honest interests in the proposal. Hearing her words, Tamanawa immediately put up a gentleman smile on his face. Along with that he also snapped his finger and winked.
6158
6159“That’s true. That’s also a *sorearu*!”
6160
6161“Wut…...”
6162
6163Just a moment ago he was arguing vehemently against me, but after seeing the reversal of his attitude, I couldn’t help but show my surprised reaction, and then stared at Tamanawa. Maybe he finally felt embarrassed by it, Tamanawa coughed several times gently, and then turned his attention back to the proposal booklet.
6164
6165“Of course, it’s not like we oppose this proposal or anything. However, if we do not stay on the same wavelength from the very beginning, we will soon run into conflicts and end up going into different directions. So, I think we should first solidify that part first.”
6166
6167While speaking, he quickly turned his eyes at me. I nodded my head gently in response.
6168
6169“Think of this proposal as our tentative plan. We just want it to look flashy. It’d be sorry if it turns out to be difficult to understand. Therefore, shall we first set the practicality aside, go back to the starting line and discuss from there?”
6170
6171Laying my hands on my knees, I lowered my head a little bit. Yuigahama also followed me.
6172
6173“Please…”
6174
6175Tamanawa then looked at us attentively, while Orimoto blinked her eyes. A strange moment of silence befell and made me feel rather itchy, so I moved my body uneasily. Orimoto sighed mildly with her light smiles.
6176
6177“... sounds good to me. Let’s do it, President!”
6178
6179Orimoto then hit Tamanawa’s arm with her elbow for a couple times. Every time Tamanawa got hit by her, he made an indescribable ‘nfu, nnnn’ sound. Yep, I knew that feeling. Back in middle school, with that skin-contact I almost died at the spot… Tamanawa kept still there for a while and finally seemed to calm down. He gently rubbed the place where he got hit and went back talking again.
6180
6181“... Alright. Luckily we still have time. There’s enough time for us to discuss it more. Bearing in mind that we want to realize the plan, we need to carefully work on the unification of the understanding of the our goal.”
6182
6183“Preach it!”
6184
6185Orimoto immediately raised her thumb up. Perhaps Tamanawa got quite delighted by it. He quickly put up a smile, rubbed his chin and leaned forward with his hands crossed.
6186
6187“Speaking of the goal, there’s this story from the past. Once upon a time, there were three bricklayers in a town… If you ask one of them, what’s your ultimate goal? How do you think he would respond?”
6188
6189Tamanawa snapped his fingers loudly, and then pointed at me. It looked like he was fired up. Bringing up some business training story that he heard from somewhere, he even intentionally wanted me to answer it. But, sadly, when I worked on the proposal, I actually learned about stories like this then.
6190
6191“Building a marvelous grand church that keeps standing generations after generations.”
6192
6193Feeling sorry for my immediate response, I quickly gave the correct answer. Tamanawa nodded to me proudly.
6194
6195“That’s correct. While stacking the bricks, he says so. And then, you turn to another bricklayer and ask him. What do you think he would say?”
6196
6197This time, Tamanawa snapped his fingers using both hands and then pointed at me. After hearing his words, Yuigahama looked rather confused. I shook my head to tell her not to care about it. You lose if you get serious.
6198
6199Knowing that my words won’t simply be delivered to Tamanawa’s ears, I gave the very same answer again.
6200
6201“...building a marvelous grand church that keeps standing generations after generations.”
6202
6203“Right. He says so while keeping his hands busy on his job… and then the third person...”
6204
6205Tamanawa looked around at three of us, then took long enough break, and finally opened his mouth solemnly.
6206
6207“... ‘building a marvelous grand church that keeps standing generations after generations.’ says the third bricklayer.”
6208
6209“Oh, oh…”
6210
6211Looking at Tamanawa’s twinkling eyes, I had no words left to say but only surprises. I wasn’t sure how Tamanawa interpreted my surprise, but he took a long breathe out in satisfaction.
6212
6213“We need to very carefully ponder what our ultimate goal is.”
6214
6215He stood up heavily, and then turned his body halfway facing us.
6216
6217“Do you know how we can defeat Disneyland?”
6218
6219Without waiting for my response, Tamanawa began walking around in the room while his shoes were making loud noises.
6220
6221“If we take the normal approach, we will never defeat Disneyland, because Disneyland has nearly reached complete perfection. So, we need to think from another angle - create something that’s incomplete, where the sense of entertainment actually lies.”
6222
6223Eventually, after making two circles in the meeting room, Tamanawa headed towards the whiteboard. He started drawing some mysterious diagram on it.
6224
6225“An exam where you always score 90/100, versus an exam where you used to score 0 but this time score 50 on it. Which exam gives you more happiness? What we need to consider is not how we can gather 10,000 people, but rather how we can celebrate with 10,000 people.”
6226
6227Tamanawa knocked the whiteboard loudly. Perhaps being overwhelmed by his vigor, Yuigahama clapped her hands in admiration.
6228
6229“Ohhh~ I got it!... maybe... in a way…”
6230
6231I cast my stare at Yuigahama in doubt. She then averted her eyes from me and talked in broken words. Meanwhile, Orimoto was playing her smartphone and nodded her head in agreement.
6232
6233“I know right! Preach it!”
6234
6235Hey, you were barely listening… Despite so, what Tamanawa just said indeed wasn’t completely wrong. The arguments themselves weren’t exactly unreasonable, if you have to say Sorearu then it’s quite a Sorearu… By the way, I sense strongly this feeling of ‘you are not in the right position to say it’... Maybe these high conscious people will eventually all end up joining the IT industry. It felt like a CEO of some IT company just rolled a gatcha and got a 1-star card.
6236
6237Even after this guy stopped using those annoying foreign big words, the essence of his arguments did not change a bit.
6238
6239This was something that we hear all the time around Inage Kaigan. Perhaps the fact that we considered it lack of freshness is indeed the proof of our growth.
6240
6241As I was thinking about these trivias, Tamanawa, who just a moment ago was talking nonsense, started mumbling while staring at the whiteboard.
6242
6243“... Looking into next year and beyond, we need to begin our preparation right away. We have to stack our results one by one starting from now…”
6244
6245After that, he turned his face to us, with a slightly bitter smile on his face.
6246
6247Maybe Tamanawa himself had already noticed the emptiness of his own words. Therefore, still he had been borrowing words from others. Yet, despite so, he still kept praying. Once following the actions come the results, all the words he said must then become Tamanawa’s own sayings. I looked forward to his future!
6248
6249Despite of the enmity between us before, I still cherished the fact that only this time I was able to team up with Tamanawa, not only for the sake of strong factors like the dummy plan, but also for the sake of having a strong helping mate that can support Iroha’s prom next year and beyond. Worthy of Represent Kaihin Sougou! As a ‘homie’ hyped with ‘hood’, I can almost call you ‘my man’! I need to take a ‘my man’ photo with you!
6250
6251“... can we take a photo of this meeting? Also, if possible, I’d like to have it displayed on the website.”
6252
6253“Of course, go ahead. Ah, in that case, maybe I should write it in a more easily understandable way…”
6254
6255Tamanawa agreed happily with me in consent. And then, he fixed a couple places on the whiteboard, and then began talking stuff and circling his hands as if he was operating a potter’s wheel.
6256
6257Soon, before we barely ran out of the remaining time we reserved the meeting room for, Tamanawa’s speech finally finished up. When we left the community center the sun was already at the zenith, and the busy streets were decorated by its liveliness.
6258
6259Before joining the crowd in front of the station, Orimoto turned her body around facing us.
6260
6261“What should we do after? Go home, or lunch?”
6262
6263“We have some errands to run at our school later…”
6264
6265“I see- then let’s leave the meal for next time!”
6266
6267After Yuigahama said so in a apologetic tone, Orimoto frowned a little bit. Yuigahama then joined her hands together and lowered her head in apology. I also bobbed my head. Thereupon, Tamanawa next to me gave a cough to clear his throat, quickly took a step forward and stood next to Orimoto.
6268
6269“So, we shall dismiss here. By the way, now that both Orimoto and I had some spare time after this, why don’t we…”
6270
6271Slightly blushed, Tamanawa peeked aside to probe her reaction and mumbled. His tone was quite strong in the beginning but as he went on, it became softer and softer. I was not sure if Orimoto was paying attention or not. She simply nodded as if nothing happened.
6272
6273“Right, go home.”
6274
6275“Oh, okay…”
6276
6277Tamanawa only responded that, with his mouth twitching. But soon he pulled himself together, slowly walking straight towards me while blowing air towards his forehead.
6278
6279“... when you decide the next meeting time, could you give me a reminder?”
6280
6281To be honest, we had no such plan, but out of pressure I had to nod my head in response.
6282
6283I don’t quite get the situation but… Ganbare! Tamanawa-san!
6284
6285
6286
6287
6288
62897-6
6290
6291
6292
6293
6294The school campus during the weekend was extraordinarily quiet - all sounds seemed to get reflected and bounced back in void.
6295
6296Starting from the playground, outside the campus the noises were all over the place, whereas once entering the campus, I started to feel a cold sense of rejection.
6297
6298Nevertheless, at the Game Club room, the atmosphere there was all fired up and felt like a casino.
6299
6300“... yay! Finally got it done!”
6301
6302“Just in case, let’s do a test run and bring the website up.”
6303
6304Hatana pressed the enter key and then suddenly laid down on the table. Sagami the little brother pushed the laptop to me powerlessly.
6305
6306I looked at the laptop screen to check out the progress. An official website that almost matched the original specification exactly showed up on the screen. The main subject, our stylish photograph, was also displayed along with some other information in text. The only thing left was to add our social network accounts to it. It almost seemed to be ready as the teaser website. I was quite impressed by their ability to produce something like this just in a few days.
6307
6308“Zaimokuza, can you try to publish something?”
6309
6310“Okie… one sec!”
6311
6312As I said so, Zaimokuza soon published quite a happy article full of hashtags. After refreshing the page, in the SNS main body, along with a photo that we just took in which Tamanawa circled his hands as if he was operating a potter’s wheel, an article titled “We exchanged our opinions with Kaihin-Sougou HS on the topic of prom! From now on we would like to bring more schools in!” showed up immediately.
6313
6314“Woah, looks amazing! Great!”
6315
6316Behind me, Yuigahama peeked at the screen and hit my shoulders excitedly. Being slightly bothered by the close distance, apart from giving the laptop back to Sagami, I also quietly escaped from Yuigahama’s hands.
6317
6318“Okay, now let’s migrate it to production environment. Zaimokuza please take the job of updating the SNS for the next few days.”
6319
6320“Acknowledged.”
6321
6322“You can count on me!”
6323
6324Both Sagami and Zaimokuza nodded in response. Except one person - Hatana put up a difficult face in front of the monitor.
6325
6326“Is it really okay to look like this…”
6327
6328“Yep, in terms of the content it’s more than enough already.”
6329
6330We not only presented the accomplishment of our discussion with Tamanawa, but also hinted that we might tag more schools along. That should already make us look like we can no longer be left unattended and uninterrupted. Given that our discussion with Kaihin-Sougou was described as being on hold at the stage of ‘exchanging ideas and opinions’, we would have strong enough excuses to give if the dummy prom plan gets abandoned. We should then naturally make those who complained about the prom look like overreacting idiots.
6331
6332Just as I was about to explain so, Hatano tilted his head and his eyes squinted at me.
6333
6334“... uh, I feel like as the source of information the website might be a little too weak for that…”
6335
6336“Well, that’s true.... But it would serve its purpose even if a small fraction of our parents see it. In fact, it would be quite troubling if more than necessary number of people learn about it. I think the level of influence it has right now is precisely what we need. Furthermore, just in case, I will set up a leak to the parents so we should expect some reactions from them soon.”
6337
6338Especially, that person who leaks the information was the most annoying part though… Thinking about the errand that I need to run next, I accidentally ended up wearing a bitter face. I couldn’t help but naturally break out my sigh. Yuigahama looked at me in wonder. I continued my words in order to cover up.
6339
6340“Sorry guys, just for the next two days, pay attention to the website and see if the website has any bugs or glitches.”
6341
6342Hatano nodded his head gently and turned back to his laptop. He then started talking to Sagami about their next steps.
6343
6344I looked around at everyone again and sighed quietly.
6345
6346By this time, we almost finished dealing with the hardware part. It was a rush-through product that might contain obvious flaws and signs of rough work. We nevertheless had all tried our best. Actually, they all tried their best for my sake. Thanks to them, as long as I manage to get through this weekend, what’s next should be more or less chill. I had to express my genuine gratefulness to Zaimokuza and the two Game Club members.
6347
6348“If things go well, we might be able to see results as early as the beginning of next week… All in all, thank you all so much! Much appreciated all your help!”
6349
6350How deplorable I was - only being able to say it in a low voice. Even so, I opened my thighs apart, rested my hands on them and slowly lowered my head in gratitude.
6351
6352Thereupon, Zaimokuza and the two Game Club dudes looked at me as if seeing an endangered species. Only Yuigahama showed a satisfying smile on her face. Feeling rather uneasy to be stared at, I cleared my throat.
6353
6354“Well, let’s put our thanks aside. I’m sorry to bring you all here on a weekend day. Please wrap things up if you wish now… In all, thanks for all your work!”
6355
6356As soon as I finished my words, I took my belongings and quickly stood up from my seat. It would be mindless for the employees to leave if the manager still stays after all! How considerate and mindful I am! All managers should learn from me.
6357
6358“Ah, wait.. wait for me…! Th...thanks everyone! Let’s have a celebration some time!”
6359
6360Following me, Yuigahama stood up from the seat as well. After that, I turned to Zaimokuza and others and raised my arm high to cheer them up. In response, Hatano and Sagami returned ambiguous complicated smiles to me.
6361
6362“No, that…”
6363
6364“Well, I will give it a thought…”
6365
6366“Alright, for now let’s say we will go if we can.”
6367
6368Only one person, Zaimokuza, responded cheerfully. Normally that’s something you would say if you want to find an excuse *not* to go, but in the case of Zaimokuza, he totally would just simply go... Strange right?
6369
6370After having their work done, three of them were filled with senses of liberation and accomplishment. I peeked at them from aside as they began chitchatting. Then both Yuigahama and I left the clubroom quietly.
6371
6372Unfortunately that didn’t mean my work had been done. I took out my smartphone from my pocket, touching the screen while walking. Yuigahama besides me was also on her phone, and then she looked at me.
6373
6374“Hikki- You have plans next? Or just go home?”
6375
6376“Well, I have a phone call next… And depending on its outcome…”
6377
6378As I said so, I kept holding my smartphone in hand yet to make the call. I looked at the contact book displayed on the screen and sighed deeply.
6379
6380Originally I was planning to call earlier and should have done so.
6381
6382However, it’s quite normal to put off calls and messages that you are unwilling to make or compose, such as progress report or notification of delays. For those calls that involve apology or sorry, you would always end up delaying it if possible, a typical hopeless procrastination psychology. In the end, when you are barely at the deadline before it’s too late, you end up causing more damages. You knew all the rationales yet still couldn’t help but procrastinate anyways....
6383
6384But only for this time, no matter how much I hated doing it, as long as I had no other choices, I had to resort to this way.
6385
6386Suspicious of me, who kept frowning and staring at my smartphone, Yuigahama moved her eyes back and forth between her smartphone and me.
6387
6388“Calling… who?”
6389
6390“Eh… the helper that will do the leak for me.”
6391
6392After we reached the overpass connecting the special purpose building and the main building, I finally made up my mind. Knowing that Yuigahama had been looking at me in concern, I decided that it was the time to act.
6393
6394Breathing out a long sigh, I turned my face to Yuigahama.
6395
6396“... excuse me, I need to make a quick phone call.”
6397
6398“Of course.”
6399
6400I said my words with the implication that she should leave first, but Yuigahama just stood there still, waiting for me to begin my call. Given that she already acted that way, it would have been tough for me to explicitly ask her to leave...
6401
6402It can’t be helped. I pointed at the bench in the middle of the overpass, telling her with my eye contacts to sit down and wait for me there. I then pressed the call button with my hand holding the smartphone.
6403
6404After two or three beeping tones, the other end picked it up immediately.
6405
6406“Hyahhallo-! How are you?”
6407
6408“...I’m doing well.”
6409
6410The person I was calling, whose name is Yukinoshita Haruno, acted delightfully as if the conversation on the other day never happened. After hearing her voice, I clearly felt my cheek had just twitched briefly. Because of that my voice might get a little too high, I could hear joyful gigglings from the speaker.
6411
6412I wiped off the unpleasant feeling of being seen through, and quickly resumed to talk my business.
6413
6414“I need to have a small conversation with you. Is it okay?”
6415
6416“Of course. Warmly welcome!”
6417
6418“Sorry for my sudden notice, but is tonight a good time…”
6419
6420As I said so, I heard the other end make a sigh as if she had to think about it briefly.
6421
6422“Hmm…… It really is quite ‘sudden’. Well, alright. In that case, can you come over here? There’s a coffee shop right by the entrance of the outlet.”
6423
6424“Ah, that outlet close to your place?”
6425
6426I was still more or less bothered by the fact that soon after she showed a troubling tone and then immediately replied yes. While trying to think of the place that she designated, I replied to her valuely.
6427
6428Meanwhile, Yuigahama, who was supposed to be sitting down, suddenly stood up, leaned towards me, and stealthily placed her ear next to my phone. Being approached so suddenly and unexpectedly, I almost freaked out at the spot, with my heart speeding up immediately. Unfortunately, I was unable to shake her off, so I took several steps forward to distance myself from her. Yuigahama then showed dissatisfaction on her face, trying to approach me again.
6429
6430Feeling suspicious of what was going on here - the silent attack and defense between Yuigahama and me, Haruno-san asked me from the other end.
6431
6432“What happened?”
6433
6434“No, nothing.”
6435
6436I responded quickly. Covering the microphone with my hand, I reproved Yuigahama in a low voice.
6437
6438“... what do you think you were doing? I’m on my phone right now.”
6439
6440“Are you meeting Haruno-san?”
6441
6442As I was about to go back to the call, Yuigahama interrupted me. Her voice was sharper than usual. Her face seemed a little bit worrisome. After seeing that face, I was unable to evade her question or put up a joke. I had no choice but to give a quick answer.
6443
6444“... eh, with regard to the website, I think that person would be able to leak the information for us.”
6445
6446“It is bad... if I also come with you?”
6447
6448Yuigahama said it with a voice sharper than usual. Her face seemed rather serious and worrisome.
6449
6450“Why do you…”
6451
6452Even if I asked, she wouldn’t open her mouth. No reply. Her eyes were telling me firmly that even if I said no to her she would still tag along with me anyways.
6453
6454To be honest, I really didn’t want her to come with me. Every time I meet Yukinoshita Haruno nothing good turns out in the end. I would really feel terrible if in addition Yuigahama gets involved. As I thought so in hesitation, ‘Hello? Hello?’ with rather irritated tone came from the speaker. Panicked and hurried, I quickly held the phone up back to my ear.
6455
6456“Ah, I’m really sorry… Yuigahama and I will come together then.”
6457
6458“Gahama-san? Oh, sure thing!”
6459
6460Without taking a moment to think about it, Haruno-san responded light-heartedly. After we decided on a time and a place to meet, the other end hang up the call abruptly.
6461
6462I put down the phone loosely and powerlessly, and glanced at Yuigahama, who was holding the straps of her backpack firmly and biting her lip.
6463
6464“Let’s go…”
6465
6466After I briefly told her my words, Yuigahama nodded her head with a gentle smile on her face. However, the footsteps following that no longer sounded as energized as usual, but rather quiet and lonely.
6467
6468Slowly, quietly, without letting anyone notice.
6469
6470That sound was perhaps, very close to the sound that implies the ending is close.
6471
6472
6473
6474
6475
64767-7
6477
6478
6479
6480
6481The sun set over the horizon of the sea. Only the afterglow was left spreading over the west sky. Lit from the lingering evening glow, the streets were also brightened by street lights and building lights. Shadows of the pedestrians stretched in various directions.
6482
6483Although the designated coffee shop was quite packed already, thanks to the European stylish decoration and the quietly playing BGM, the ambience there was pretty relaxing and comforting.
6484
6485I told the staff that I was meeting someone inside, then I was taken to an open terrace. Chilling wind of the early spring was blowing over my skin. After the night befell, the temperature went down by a bit, so there appeared to be a few customers here and there.
6486
6487Nevertheless, deep in the corner, around Yukinoshita Haruno was an empty area where no one was sitting.
6488
6489Haruno-san wore a dark red coat on her shoulder, along with a long skirt and short boots on her feet. Over her knees she was gently covered by a blanket that probably came from the shop. She was reading a book quietly under the parasol heater. She occasionally held the mug to warm up her hands, and then took a sip from it.
6490
6491I was amazed by her appearance, stopped my foot there and squinted my eyes. The aura around her overlapped with a scene from some time ago that I hadn’t seen for a lot time.
6492
6493However, I was only dazzled by it for a brief moment before she noticed us. She smiled gently and waved her hands at us.
6494
6495I lowered my head a little bit in courtesy. While she kept beckoning to us, both Yuigahama and I sat down opposite to her.
6496
6497“Want to drink anything? The bread here is also very delicious.”
6498
6499I wanted to get it done as soon as possible, so I was gonna say the same thing… But then I decided no. The mug that Haruno-san was holding seemed to have mulled wine in it. When the red purple liquid in it was shaken, it released a strong smell of cinnamon.
6500
6501“I’ll go with regular coffee.”
6502
6503“I’ll… I’ll have the black tea.”
6504
6505We promptly finished our ordering and waited for the drinks to be brought over. Meanwhile, Haruno-san placed a bookmark inside the book that she just stopped reading, putting the book back to her handbag.
6506
6507“So, what’s this conversation about?”
6508
6509With her body slightly leaned forward, Haruno-san rested her cheek and stared at my face. Those eyes reminded me of the bad experience I had the other day. Her sexy lips were accompanied by her smile. Her big eyes squinted like an arrow while looking at me. She crossed her long legs on top of each other under the table, with the tip of her foot touching my knee gently.
6510
6511The words that I was about to say turned out to be only sighs. I felt my throat was tangled and for some reason thirsty.
6512
6513To be honest, I really do not want to talk to this person. It’s not like I personally hate her, since I am not good at dealing with females in general. If I have to think, simply factor by factor, then it’s not like I’m holding a grudge against her. No matter from the perspective of her appearance or her personalities, I can’t say there’s only few parts that I like about her.
6514
6515But still, I was scared of her - like looking into a mirror at night, looking through the opening of a door in a dark room, the uneasy feeling from the back while taking a shower, such and such… It’s that kind of fear that you don’t even dare to figure out or confirm what it actually is.
6516
6517Whatever I put it into words, from that end, everything becomes tied up together. I feel like being aimed at by something that I don’t even want to learn about - I was dominated by this kind of fear and anxiety then.
6518
6519
6520
6521“Eh, it was something… about the prom.”
6522
6523While I lost my words, Yuigahama couldn’t bear seeing me like that so she opened her mouth.
6524
6525“I was thinking what it is… that’s the matter…?”
6526
6527The delightful face that Haruno-san had been putting until then soon disappeared as if it was all just a joke. Apparently having lost all her interests, Haruno-san leaned her body back onto the chair-back.
6528
6529“When you said you wanted to have a conversation, I thought it would normally be a love-talk, right?”
6530
6531Saying her words half jokingly, she shrugged her shoulder widely. Seeing that Haruno-san lost her interest, I made a shallow sigh.
6532
6533“When I said it’s a conversation normally it should imply asking you for a favor, right?”
6534
6535I took a small sip of the coffee that was just delivered to me and made a light-hearted comment. In response, Haruno-san broke her smile.
6536
6537“What a business life you are living!”
6538
6539“Well, I do hate work though.”
6540
6541I muttered sarcastically with half of my face twisted upward. Soon I could feel that the atmosphere was relaxed. Yuigahama sitting next to me also sighed in relief. How miserable I was! It was good to have Yuigahama tagging along with me after all. Had I come here alone by myself, I would have totally got caught into her pace from the beginning to the end. Even if I manage to dodge on the surface, deep inside, my heart would be completely captured anyways.
6542
6543I nodded to Yuigahama to tell her that I was fine by then already. Although I wasn’t able to easily dispel my sense of fear towards Haruno-san at all, I did not want to show any weak and clumsy side of me.
6544
6545After taking another sip of the coffee again, I took out my smartphone.
6546
6547“I want you to properly leak this piece of information.”
6548
6549I showed her the official website of the dummy prom that we just freshly finished.
6550
6551Haruno-san looked at the website for a few seconds, and soon made a small sigh.
6552
6553“Hmm… I’m not sure about this…”
6554
6555“Eh… our prom faced very strong oppositions, so we wanted to consider something else new.”
6556
6557As soon as Yuigahama wanted to explain it further, Haruno-san put up a gentle, kind smile on her face and interrupted Yuigahama.
6558
6559“Kay, I understood that part already so it’s okay.”
6560
6561It seemed that Haruno-san already understood the outline of what was going on after skimming through the texts on the website. Thanks to that, we were able to proceed quickly.
6562
6563Just as I was about to breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that I didn’t have to explain thing in detail, I held my breath back.
6564
6565Yukinoshita Haruno stared at me with her cold eyes. I noticed that and quickly lost my words.
6566
6567“What I do not understand is, why are you resorting to this way… Didn’t I tell you earlier about the relationship of you three?”
6568
6569Although her smiling voice contained her teasings, I could also hear the sadness that almost conveyed a sense of hopeless with it. As if being tortured by its incorrectness, as if being grieved over the mistakes, every single word that she said hurt me as if it was pouring ice water over my neurons, freezing me immediately.
6570
6571“You really have in mind that this is also for the sake of that kid?”
6572
6573“... this really has nothing much to do with Yukinoshita. It’s not like I was asked by her to do so. Rather, I chose to act on my own. So it was really just serving for my self-satisfaction.”
6574
6575I let out words that I carefully prepared beforehand.
6576
6577I understood very well that as long as I decided to ask Yukinoshita Haruno to do the leaking, I could no longer dodge this question from her. Therefore, I straightforwardly chose to say it in the least mistaken way. Despite the fact that there was no absolutely correct answer, I still firmly believed that I said was not the wrong thing at least. At the very least, it was one of the truths that I believed myself.
6578
6579Unfortunately, I didn’t think my excuse could possibly work for Yukinoshita Haruno. That was precisely why I wanted to avoid this person unless absolutely necessary.
6580
6581Haruno-san broke out her smile and took a quick sip of the hot wine. While scrubbing the edge of the glass, she began talking to me slowly as if trying to correct my reasoning of things.
6582
6583“Yukino-chan did not ask for your help, yet you decided to act voluntarily on your own… Hence like I said, isn’t it co-dependence…… Precisely just as the word suggests, right? In the end, there’s no difference at all.”
6584
6585I was unable to deny her statement right away, losing all my words. Yuigahama casted her mindful eyes to me first, and then to Haruno-san.
6586
6587Not only just Isshiki and Hayama, but I’m afraid also Yuigahama all had something in their mind without saying them explicitly with their mouths. Even I myself had realized that I simply treated it as a word-game, an excuse that I was evading from.
6588
6589“Yukino-chan chose independence, wanting to end that relationship. What Hikigaya-kun can do is to watch over her that way, isn’t it?”
6590
6591Using her voice that could not be gentler and kinder, Haruno-san said so as if she was teaching an infant.
6592
6593I could no longer look straight into her eyes, so I lowered my eyes. What she said was definitely correct - I ended up having a tangible feeling like that. I noticed that I was already holding the sleeves of my coat firmly in hand at that moment.
6594
6595“… I still do not think you are correct."
6596
6597Yuigahama muttered. Though her voice was so low that could have immediately gone with the wind, it clearly entered my ear unambiguously. I was not able identify her facial expression since she had suppressed her emotion in her voice. I looked at Yuigahama’s face.
6598
6599Her eyes were not looking at either me or Hakuno-san. Yuigahama straightened her back and stared firmly at one single spot on the table.
6600
6601Haruno-san’s eyes, which had been focused on only me until then, finally quickly turned to Yuigahama’s direction. And then, she leaned her head slightly and urged Yuigahama to keep talking. Acknowledging her eye contact, Yuigahama began talking falteringly.
6602
6603“It sounded good when you said ‘watch over her’, but ultimately the only consequence left is us distancing from each other. Avoiding each other, taking distance from each other. If we simply let it happen, we won’t change a bit in the end. In that case, perhaps, it would all end up in tragedy - not only us but also the prom…”
6604
6605Lit by the retro-fashioned light in the coffee shop, her profile looked a lot more adult-like than usual, leaving a transient shadow. Looking at that beautiful ambience and her peaceful face, my heart grew painful from inside. Or perhaps, it was because the ending scene that she just mentioned was so easily imaginable for me.
6606
6607“So, we want to stay closer even just for a little bit. We have to be involved. *It* was something necessary in order to end *it* properly. So, so…”
6608
6609Sentences that were fabricated non-stopped, word by word, turned into a long sigh in the end. There was no way for me to know what Yuigahama wanted to say next. I also could not read into her facial expression when she casted her eyes downward.
6610
6611Despite so, there is something that I do understand. Actually, it was something that I understood a lot time ago.
6612
6613“That’s true… we need to end it properly…”
6614
6615I wasn’t saying it to anyone per se, but I mumbled as if I was talking to myself. Yuigahama quietly nodded her head to me.
6616
6617Perhaps, we all had been holding the same wish that we wanted to end *it* properly. After double confirming that, I was finally able to lift up my face.
6618
6619As soon as our eyes crossed, Haruno-san put up a gentle smile, leaned her head slightly and squinted her eyes.
6620
6621“Does that mean any kind of ending is okay? Even an ending that is unwanted by Yukino-chan or anyone else?”
6622
6623“Yes, that’s okay.”
6624
6625Without a slightest bit of hesitation I let out my words. Looking at my face, Haruno-san swallowed her breath quietly in surprise. And then, killing the smile that she was wearing, she asked me in a voice that was much colder than before.
6626
6627“… just curious, why does Hikigaya-kun have to go this far?”
6628
6629To her question, I was unable to give an immediate answer. It wasn’t like I was still hesitating or wavering at that time, but rather, the answer was already there. It was only because I had been already asked similar questions a couple times until then, and thus I had trouble picking my words. Next to me was Yuigahama who stiffened her body there and listened to me carefully.
6630
6631Therefore, I tried my best not to lie, not to conflict with any statements that I had made, and chose to give an answer that had my consistency in mind.
6632
6633“It was perhaps just … the spirit of volunteering. A heart that desires helping each other. Do we need any reason to help others?”
6634
6635Forcing out my words shamelessly, the chair next to me began shaking. I could tell that Yuigahama’s shoulders just lost its strength. Haruno-san sighed shortly and turned her face up to the sky.
6636
6637“You are quite an interesting person.”
6638
6639“If you had to say so, then at least I want you to laugh at the same time.”
6640
6641I wasn’t sure whether Haruno-san had noticed it or not, but her face had no signs of a smile at all. Only her voice resonated. After I pointed it out, Haruno-san finally broke her smile out as if she just realized it.
6642
6643“Telling only the lies… Not saying a single word of truth.”
6644
6645“Whether it’s real or fake. I really don’t have anything to say in particular. Even if I do…”
6646
6647I swallowed back what I wanted to say, I changed my words to something else.
6648
6649“…you are not the person that I would tell.”
6650
6651“……… that’s true…”
6652
6653Haruno-san squinted her eyes as if she suddenly saw something very dazzling in a flash. Without changing the smile on her face, she responded to me half-jokingly. Nevertheless, her voice was somehow accompanied with a very chilling tone, followed by a dry and small sigh after. Perhaps she knew it already. Her hand reached out to the mug. She drank up the beverage inside that already turned cold and wiped her lips with her finger tip. Nodded her head as if she just got ready to talk again, she raised her face up and put up a gentle smile.
6654
6655“I will do the favor for you and help you with the leaking with my best effort.”
6656
6657“Thank you.”
6658
6659Both Yuigahama and I lowered our heads. Haruno-san then rested her cheek on one hand and began touching her smartphone screen with the other hand.
6660
6661“However, it’s still tough with just this little help?”
6662
6663Being told so unexpectedly, I became a little bit confused. Seeing my reaction, Haruno-san smiled naughtily.
6664
6665“Although you have already gathered all necessary elements, the people that you are dealing with can’t really be argued with proper reasonings, right? Furthermore, your real opponent is my mother…”
6666
6667“Eh… that’s true…”
6668
6669Thinking about the Yukinoshita sisters’ mother made both Yuigahama and I look at each other and smile bitterly.
6670
6671Just as I expected, if a certain number of parents want to express their complaints about the dummy prom, they would do so via that mother that served as their representative. Then naturally I would become the person bearing the responsibility from the students’ side.
6672
6673Coming to think of the confrontation that happened the other day, to be honest I didn’t believe I could possibly win the argument by either appealing logically or lyrically.
6674
6675While I frowned and mumbled my words out, Haruno-san stretched herself and yawned uninterestedly. She then continued her words as if it was just a follow-up byproduct of her yawn.
6676
6677“But as long as you bring up the conversation with her, I think there should be a way around it, right…? I don’t think that person really cares about proms and stuff in the end.”
6678
6679I was not able to grasp the intention or the connotation of her words, so I leaned my head in question. However, Haruno-san had no intention to elaborate on it further. Rather, she began looking at the drinking menu and humming with her nose.
6680
6681“... well, I will try my best.”
6682
6683“Yep, please do.”
6684
6685I took her carelessly phrased words of encouragement which she said without even looking at me. I then ran out of words to say.
6686
6687Considering the time by then, I thought it was just about the right time to go. I told Yuigahama that it was about the time to leave using only eye contact. She nodded in reply.
6688
6689“... It’s about time for us to leave now. I’m sorry for taking your time!”
6690
6691“Thank you very much for your time!”
6692
6693“No problem. Seeya.”
6694
6695When we both stood up from the chairs, Haruno-san waved her hand gently at us. Given that she already pulled out the drinking menu at hand, it seemed that she still intended to stay there longer.
6696
6697After nodding to her in courtesy, we both left the coffee shop.
6698
6699The distance from the coffee shop to the station was quite short. On a weekday it would have been the rush hour then. On a Saturday like today, since there wasn’t any prominent event happening then, it wasn’t as crowded at all.
6700
6701We finally reached the station plaza that also served as a small bus terminal, I looked at Yuigahama in question of what to do next.
6702
6703Ever since we left the coffee shop Yuigahama had been silent along the way, as if she had been thinking of something all along. As I was concerned by that, I quickly peeked at her face. Yuigahama then put up an exhausted smile on her face.
6704
6705She soon suddenly stopped walking and opened her mouth in difficult.
6706
6707“...just now, what was the ‘co-dependence’ that Haruno-san mentioned about?”
6708
6709Despite the troubled smile that she put up, her voice was rather serious. Unable to dodge her question, I sat down on a bench nearby and tried to look for words to say. Yuigahama also sat next to me, holding her backpack to her chest.
6710
6711“It’s kind of hard to explain… … you do somehow understand the ‘dependence’ part, right?”
6712
6713To my question, Yuigahama nodded her head and tried to bury her face into the backpack she was hugging. I responded with a light smile and continued my words. I tried to explain it plainly, without using terminologies and omitting the nitty-gritty details if possible.
6714
6715“To put simply, co-dependence means that the person who *is relied on* is fine with his/her role of being depended on, maybe. Knowing that he/she is deemed needed, the person who is depended on finds his/her value and gain satisfaction and peace of mind out of it… In the end, both the dependent and the dependee become unwilling to get out of this situation.”
6716
6717While I was explaining, I noticed that my voice dropped suddenly. The more I thought about it the more I noticed myself fitting exactly into that definition. Gradually I started feeling bitterness in my mouth.
6718
6719Perhaps Yuigahama was also reminded of something. She bit her lips slightly.
6720
6721“That, isn’t something good, right…”
6722
6723“...well, it isn’t exactly wholesome, I guess…”
6724
6725--- therefore, that is, perhaps, as wrong as I expected.
6726
6727After hearing my words, Yuigahama’s face turned gloomy. It made me grow really painful to see it, so I quickly stood up from the bench as if trying to tear myself away from it.
6728
6729“What that person said isn’t completely true, in fact. It’s merely one of the ways to look at it.”
6730
6731Thus, there’s no need to be concerned about her words - I tried to convey this layer of meaning to her. I then smiled at her awkwardly.
6732
6733In response, Yuigahama also put up a gentle smile that somehow felt sad and sorrowful. She nodded and stood up as well.
6734
6735Unknowing who had begun walking, both of us eventually arrived at the station turnstiles. Yuigahama gently raised her hand and waved at me.
6736
6737“So, I have to take the train now.”
6738
6739“Alright then, take care!”
6740
6741“Thanks. See you at school soon… Good night, Hikki-”
6742
6743Yuigahama waved her hand gently by her chest. I saw her off and began walking off.
6744
6745After taking a few steps, I turned back and saw Yuigahama still standing outside the turnstiles. As our eyes met, she waved her hand even more widely. I raised my hand slightly in reply. Feeling slightly embarrassed, I quickly left the station.
6746
6747Becoming alone by myself, I hurried home against the night wind.
6748
6749At this point I had completed all the tasks that I scheduled for today. I also finished as much of the preparation as I could.
6750
6751The only thing left to do, is to *end things properly*.
6752
6753
6754
6755
6756
6757Interlude 6
6758
6759
6760
6761
6762Another night that I can't get drunk.
6763
6764Even if my throat tells me that the wine is hot, the warmth never seemed to drench my heart.
6765
6766Ever since that day, never once had I feel uplifted whenever I hold up the wineglass, only feelings of hate looms within me.
6767
6768As I swallowed up what remains of my fifth glass of wine, I reached out to the wine bottle considering another drink, but my hand stopped midair as I was about to hold onto the bottleneck.
6769
6770The four-person table felt unusually broad, no matter what kinds of wine I chosen, no matter how many glasses I drank, no matter who I called over for company, neither of those seem to fill in this emptiness within.
6771
6772On my palm lies a book that I read halfway through, I tried opening it, but neither once had I managed to flip across the current page, and neither once had the bookmark left its original position, even if I'm aware of how the story shall unfold at the end, I continued searching for the true ending it deserves, which is why the story shall continue without reaching a conclusion.
6773
6774The one correct ending that has no lies in it will probably never arrive, but if someone could at least prove the very existence of this possibility, I will probably feel satisfied with it.
6775
6776I let my thoughts flow into the already empty glass, and drank it all up along the seemingly empty air. As my line of view passed through the curved surface of the glass, projecting itself onto the empty seat in front of me, a beauty smiled wickedly through the glass, as if she's making fun of herself.
6777
6778The woman on the glass surface suddenly fades, to be replaced by the figure of another person, as I took a better look, its the girl that should have went back some time ago. Did she ran all her way here? I wondered upon seeing her shoulders moving up and down.
6779
6780"Had you forgotten something?"
6781
6782I handed her a woolen blanket, signaling her to have a seat, she then obediently sat on her original position. As I held up my cheeks, wondering what important matter made her turn back, she gripped firmly onto her skirt and the blanked underneath her knees, she then said with a seemingly confused tone:
6783
6784"I...I still believe that what you said just now was wrong...the co-dependency you told us of."
6785
6786I rolled my eyes upon hearing those words, did she seriously came all the way back here to talk to me about this? I took me a while for me to have a clear image of the situation.
6787
6788I see, so she was here today in order to protect him from me. Instead of viewing it as her being possessive, to describe it as her being protective would sound much accurate.
6789
6790As much as I wanted to praise her in a much straightforward way, now that she has the guts to challenge me directly, it seems that I have no other choice but to accept it. While I do not prefer to put the blame onto my genetics, it is true that my annoying side is similar to that of my mother.
6791
6792To be honest, I don't really intend to say such things to her. Its troublesome, and I don't have that much leisure time to be wasted on her. I can't really get myself to do such a thing either, as getting hated by such a cute girl is not the most pleasant thing to do even for myself.
6793
6794But compared to that, my refusal to leave a mistake uncorrected is much stronger.
6795
6796As my frustration continues to grow, I poured every the remaining wine into the glass.
6797
6798
6799
6800
6801
6802Interlude 6-2
6803
6804
6805
6806
6807The contents within the wineglass turmoils like waves of scarlet blood, small bubbles among those waves leaped up and down like my heart right now. After I scurried back from the train station to here, words proceeded to gush out from me along with my gasping breath.
6808
6809'That's how I see it, the codependency relationship the three of you have.'
6810
6811'Codependency', a word that I was never aware of before, and a word that I couldn't understand at all. That's how I've always been, my inability to comprehend such complex ideas, and my ability to act as if I couldn't understand it. Even if there are times that I truly failed to get it.
6812
6813But that term that she said, a term so simple to the point that I can't pretend to not understand it, a term so simple that I can only understand it.
6814
6815"Does that applies to me......too?"
6816
6817My heart that should've calmed down by now started beating rapidly again. Even though the answer was never something that I've never pleaded for, never awaited for, yet here I am, seeking desperately for answers.
6818
6819She started t laugh...then displayed a very concerning expression.
6820
6821"Isn't it so? After all, Hikigaya relies on Gahama chan a lot too. In fact Gahama chan, you enjoyed all the attention he gave, to the point that you're willing to do anything for him......you know, you're sicker than what you think, Gahama chan."
6822
6823"No...that's not how it is."
6824
6825My lips are trembling as I spouted those discontinuous words, shaking my head. No, this is wrong, something feels really wrong in her statement...
6826
6827"Now that they already become the way they are. So Gahama chan, you have to grow up and get over it."
6828
6829She seemed to have said something else with that gentle voice, but I can't hear it anymore.
6830
6831"Wanting to do something for his sake...shouldn't this be natural? Seeing him looking depressed, of course I would want to get his spirits up, of course I want to stay beside them. So, that's not it..."
6832
6833Its frustrating, frustrating to the point I glared at someone out of rage for the first time. The moist air within my lungs burst out along my words, leaving my throat completely dried out. Holding the ends of my skirt so strong to the point I could feel my nails driving through the cloth, and into my flesh, I continued staring at her, refusing to avert my line of sight.
6834
6835She simply gazed at all of these with her mature expression, and then closed her eyes all of a sudden. Then said in a voice so low, that it felt like she is praying:
6836
6837"And can you......call that thing as something genuine?"
6838
6839"I don't know."
6840
6841I have always been trying to figure it out ever since that day, what did he meant by something genuine. But in the end, I still don't get it, my voice started to sound unsettling, with my eyes blurred by tears, and looked down onto the floor before I knew it.
6842
6843"But that thing, those feelings, they're definitely not codependency, nothing similar to it."
6844
6845Looking back up, she continued gazing with the same expression, opened her mouth for a second, just to look away without speaking.
6846
6847A piercing sensation begins to fill up my chest, the tears that seemed to have dried out started dripping again.
6848
6849"Otherwise, it wouldn't feel so painful...this thing that feels... so painful..."
6850
6851The pain on my chest, the pain within my heart, the pain that follows me everywhere.
6852
6853Everything within me, as if they're in vain, lamented and screamed my love for you, over and over again.
6854
6855
6856
6857
6858
6859Chapter 8: As I pray, at the very least, that I won't make any more mistakes.
6860
6861
6862When would winter end? There weren’t many clear experiences I could draw from so far so the days only somewhat were noticeable in their changes in temperature. But even so, I was strangely aware of the turning points, probably as we reached milestone after milestone.
6863
6864That’s why, the end of winter to me is probably today.
6865
6866Yesterday, I’d shut myself away in my room all day long, exchanging mail with Zaimokuza, refreshing the SNS, thoroughly checking for any errors on the homepage; just spending the day off completely restlessly.
6867
6868Then comes the Monday that opens the week. The Monday everyone detests. The Monday when problems that occur in the weekend gets reported.
6869
6870Going to school, the classroom was filled with the atmosphere of a year’s end. Because of the excitement from the season of graduation, the topics of conversations were mostly about future courses, plans for the spring break, or even about the final tests. Excluded from all the casual chats was me alone at my seat, just silently listening to it all.
6871
6872What awaited was the after school chime.
6873
6874Through Yukinoshita Haruno, the bait had been spread. The prom that had been cornered based off on self-restraint had another even flashier proposal. The subset of caregivers opposing the prom wouldn’t be able to overlook this information. Above all, because their window of argument had already been established, they would probably make their move faster than they did before; both today and tomorrow too.
6875
6876And it seems that prediction wasn’t all that off the mark.
6877
6878When the afternoon classes ended, as the atmosphere began to lighten, Hiratsuka-sensei came towards the classroom as if she had been hurrying somewhat. She peered in through the door and when our eyes met, she smiled tiredly.
6879
6880“Hikigaya. Do you have a moment after this? You’re being called in.”
6881
6882As if Hiratsuka-sensei had said a joke, the lot remaining in the classroom slightly turned their heads.
6883
6884Already having packed up and gathered my things, I took my bag and headed off. Hiratsuka-sensei smiled bitterly at that.
6885
6886“The reason you’re being called… Looks like you already know why.”
6887
6888“Sort of, since I can think of a lot of reasons. I used to be called in every time something happened.”
6889
6890“Seriously.”
6891
6892Hiratsuka-sensei shrugged her shoulders and her bitter smile appeared somewhat sad. I also pretended to smile bitterly while averting my eyes.
6893
6894And, what came within my line of sight were those groups doubting us.
6895
6896On one side were several students giving us strange looks while there were those at the back of the classroom giving us their usual reactions.
6897
6898Miura didn’t seem to have any interest in us at all and looked bored while twirling her hair with her fingertips. Ebina-san was looking at me while nodding. Tobe’s group was smirking while whispering, “tsubeh. Hikitani-kun screwed up, beh”. Damn you, Tobe...
6899
6900But there was just one in the middle, Hayama, that maintained a cold smile like a statue and fixated his gaze this way.
6901
6902I have no reason to know what he means by that and I’m not interested either, but I can tell just from looking that there’s pity.
6903
6904And finally, there was Yuigahama. Quickly able to guess the situation based off Hiratsuka-sensei’s presence here, she stopped packing her things and only grabbed her nearby coat with her as she ran out.
6905
6906Exiting into the corridor, Yuigahama caught up to us. She probably intended to come to help me, but I can’t keep relying on Yuigahama for this. Always, up until now, I came this far by relying on her. I wanted to complete the finishing touches by myself.
6907
6908“It’s just me appointed to be there, right?”
6909
6910“That’s right. Well, I don’t know if it’s an appointment or not. I’ve just been told to call in the person responsible.”
6911
6912“Yeah, that would be me.”
6913
6914Hiratsuka-sensei breathed out with an expression mixed between bitterness and sarcastic amazement. Yuigahama watched our exchange with a long face before uneasily opening her mouth to speak.
6915
6916“But I think it’d be good if I went as well…”
6917
6918“It’s okay, I’ll do it properly.”
6919
6920I said it so nonchalantly that Yuigahama opened her mouth to say something, but just before she could, her words had caught in her throat. And then, with lips pursed, she made a slight nod.
6921
6922Her strange behaviour caught my attention and when I turned my gaze to face her, Hiratsuka-sensei struck my shoulder.
6923
6924“There’s no need to worry, I’m here too. Nothing weird is going to happen.”
6925
6926Hiratsuka-sensei said to put her at ease and Yuigahama nodded by returning a faint smile.
6927
6928“Then I’ll be off for a bit.”
6929
6930“Yeah. If something happens, call me.”
6931
6932As she spoke, Yuigahama lightly made a soldier’s gesture with a raised hand while Hiratsuka-sensei and I began to walk again. I burningly watched her figure clad in a white coat with hands deep in her pockets as I followed her one step behind.
6933
6934“Is this according to your plan?”
6935
6936Hiratsuka-sensei slightly moved her neck and asked my reflection on the glass of the windows extending across the corridor.
6937
6938“...Sort of, for the most part.”
6939
6940Honestly speaking, not everything has been going according to plan, but the very minimum has been achieved. To me, this is a job well done. As I answered, I could tell Hiratsuka-sensei was smiling wryly over her back.
6941
6942“That’s very much like your methods. Do you have a chance of winning?”
6943
6944“There doesn’t have to be. In any case, there isn’t another way.”
6945
6946As the continuing glass of the windows changed to walls, I could no longer infer Hiratsuka-sensei’s expression. I could only hear a sighing voice escaping.
6947
6948“...That’s not a bad answer. I like it, that kind of thing.”
6949
6950As she spoke, Hiratsuka-sensei’s figure unexpectedly disappeared. I knew she’d just turned the corner and was going down the stairs, but even so, I’d hurriedly moved my legs faster. Becoming aware of what I was doing, I smiled bitterly.
6951
6952Someday soon, will I end up looking for that figure every time something happens? Because I was imagining stuff like that, I had stopped walking at some point. As I slowly went down the stairs one step at a time, the distance between us began to widen. Just like this, I will surely have to come to terms with separating from this person.
6953
6954Neither of us spoke and the only sounds came from our footsteps.
6955
6956As we approached the landing, Hiratsuka-sensei’s white coat flowed as she turned half her body towards me.
6957
6958“Hikigaya, do you have time sometime soon? It doesn’t have to be today. It can be tomorrow or some other day.”
6959
6960Hearing that, I thought about my schedule for a moment. Today I still had to clean up things here and there which would take up some time, but I really had nothing to do tomorrow and after.
6961
6962There probably wouldn’t be any club activities anymore. Regardless of how the prom turns out, there likely wouldn’t be.
6963
6964I was late in replying because I was suddenly thinking about all of this. Our footsteps resounded as if filling in the meanwhile silence.
6965
6966“...Well, I’m pretty much free.”
6967
6968“Really. Okay then…”
6969
6970Walking forward, Hiratsuka-sensei was also slowly thinking about something as she cut off for a moment.
6971
6972“...Okay then, let’s go for ramen!”
6973
6974With only her neck turned this way, and her long hair shaking, I could see her smiling as if she won something.
6975
6976I replied with a bitter smile and a nod.
6977
6978
6979
6980
6981
69828-2
6983
6984
6985
6986
6987At last, we reached the reception office and Hiratsuka-sensei knocked on the door. The voice of the person who requested me coolly sounded out and I remember having heard that voice somewhere before. It seemed the visitor was Yukinoshita’s mother after all.
6988
6989I followed Hiratsuka-sensei into the room and there someone gracefully standing next to the window turned around to face us. The person before us, wearing a wisteria-coloured kimono moderately decorated with peach blossoms, was truly an unimaginable beauty.
6990
6991Coffee had already been prepared and placed at the seat of honour. Yukinoshita’s mother sat there and with a friendly voice asked me to sit down as well. I quietly obeyed and Hiratsuka-sensei took a seat next to me.
6992
6993“We’ve met the other day as well, haven’t we.”
6994
6995“Yes... Nice meeting you then.”
6996
6997I answered with a twitching smile. Her formal smile overlapped with Haruno-san’s features and frankly I wasn’t very good at dealing with it. As if she could tell I was nervous from my state, Yukinoshita’s mother raised a hand to her mouth; smiling as if she was lovingly looking at a small animal.
6998
6999“Then let’s start over… May I ask about your reason for being here today?”
7000
7001When Hiratsuka-sensei cut in, Yukinoshita’s mother gently smiled and took out her smartphone.
7002
7003“Ah, that’s right. Then getting straight into it… This, were you the one who thought of it?”
7004
7005On the low table was the phone screen that was displaying the official site of the dummy prom.
7006
7007Absorbed in the thought that this was the finale of the match, I laughed a little. Because I’d wanted this shameless attitude calling for diplomacy during this critical moment. While this sense of crisis is being called an accidental trigger, there had been no other option but to call for a compromise.
7008
7009“It could be the opinion of some students. These days there are quite some flashy high school students.”
7010
7011As I said a line I’d been told somewhere before, reworded with sarcasm mixed in, Hiratsuka-sensei’s elbow hit my side. Yukinoshita’s mother looked at that with a smile and responded with a certain tone of voice.
7012
7013“I see…”
7014
7015Yukinoshita’s mother placed her hands on her temples and narrowed her eyes. Her gestures reminded me of the gaze of big cats as they went into hunting mode.
7016
7017I started to get a bad feeling as sweat gradually began to run down my scalp. I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve never been wrong about bad feelings.
7018
7019Suddenly, Yukinoshita’s mother began to speak.
7020
7021“Running another proposal isn’t a bad move, but the flaws stand out a bit. Also, even if you increase the number of choices, it will still be difficult without resolving the fundamental problems. What’s your opinion on that part?
7022
7023That gaze and tone of voice had changed to become so much colder than before. A cold chill ran down my spine. The last part of what she said seemed a question aimed towards me, but my head couldn’t get around to an answer.
7024
7025Yukinoshita’s mother rejected the dummy prom proposal we’d made because it was just something used to run against the original proposal. Had she heard something from Haruno-san in advance? No, judging from her actions the other day, she wouldn’t go out of her way to tell her mother when it seemed there would be discord.
7026
7027In other words, it simply means she saw through our plans. In addition, because she could point it out from the beginning, our plans were crushed before they even started.
7028
7029I should have replied, but I had lost my words and I was left dumbfoundedly looking at Yukinoshita’s mother.
7030
7031The person on the other side was calm and composed as she hid her mouth with a folding fan, smiling as if she was enjoying this. That figure appeared as if she was looking forward to what hand I would play next.
7032
7033Though she could make a face like that, I could only put up a bitter smile. The things I had thought of saying had all blown away. As long as her first hand remained calling out my plan as something just used to run against the original, there was no meaning in exchanging words about it. Besides, the dummy prom plan had been seen through by both Hayama and Haruno-san the very first time they saw it as well. I had already lost the moment I thought it would go through someone like Yukinoshita’s mother.
7034
7035“The real problem, the one about the self-restraint at a prom; the fact we can expect a subset of students to rebel against it is true. The risk of this happening in a place not in our awareness still exists.”
7036
7037Seeing me unable to reply, Hiratsuka-sensei promptly intervened.
7038
7039“Therefore, it might be wise to choose situations that falls within our management to some extent. The Student Council’s side have revised their plans to find a way that will satisfy both sides.”
7040
7041Hiratsuka-sensei handed documents that she’d set on the side table to Yukinoshita’s mother and gave me a part of them too. Flicking through them, I could see the revisions from what Yukinoshita and the others had said the other day. Yukinoshita’s mother also examined through the documents but had a dull reaction to it with a somewhat sour expression.
7042
7043Hiratsuka-sensei’s follow up itself was in line with my ideas. But, seeing the dummy prom completely as just an alternative plan made our persuasive attempts feel strongly like we were on the defence. Yukinoshita’s mother also had a troubled look as she turned her neck.
7044
7045“I see… It looks as if you’re bringing together components to make persuasions, but I wonder if they would understand… Because there could be people on the inside also stubborn about this.”
7046
7047Yukinoshita’s mother mixed her words with a bitter smile. Though her wording was different, it was something I’d heard somewhere before.
7048
7049“Even if we continue talking like this, to change everyone’s opinions, they’d need to be here.”
7050
7051Not paying attention as the other side continued to talk, I lightly closed my eyes and searched through my memories. If I remember correctly, it was Yukinoshita Haruno who’d said it; that she didn’t care about how the prom itself turned out.
7052
7053In that case, for what reason did Yukinoshita’s mother bring up that subject here.
7054
7055The answer was simple. Because it had resulted in a problem.
7056
7057Yukinoshita’s mother had a way of solving it and the one tool required existed here. It would do nothing but erase the dispute; her idealism and actions didn’t matter. She had a habit of seeing things as problems and avoiding uproars. Thus, she was just playing along.
7058
7059But that’s why we proposed the dummy prom; to lead her to something more reasonable. That aim itself was definitely not wrong.
7060
7061It’s just, where we’d drawn the line was wrong. Methods are methods, tools are tools, and to that end, there was no concept of friend or foe.
7062
7063This time, Yukinoshita’s mother was the messenger. She was only a negotiator sent by the other party.
7064
7065My opponent in this game isn’t Yukinoshita’s mother. She was just another piece on the board; the strongest queen.
7066
7067In that case, there was still a hand I could play.
7068
7069There was probably just one person in this world, something only I could use, even if I wouldn’t be forgiven for using it just once; the absolute lowest and worst means.
7070
7071However, if I only had one card left in my hand, then I had no choice but to play it.
7072
7073“To persuade that ‘everyone’ you speak of, can we ask for your cooperation?”
7074
7075Maybe my statement was unexpected, Yukinoshita’s mother tilted her head. A movement so innocent, I dropped a smile. Their reactions when they’re told something out of their expectations were truly so similar.
7076
7077“There is a way of persuading them, isn’t there? Then wouldn’t the end result change depending on who says it?”
7078
7079What’s important isn’t “what is said”, but “who says it” may be an overused phrase, but it is the truth. The subset of stubborn caregivers and such could be convinced if it was Yukinoshita’s mother saying it instead of me. They would also know they’d be dealing with an opponent who held a higher rank than themselves and it’s because of this I was asking for her assistance.
7080
7081The nature of this game was nothing other than to take the opponent’s queen.
7082
7083“...In fact, it wouldn’t be very persuasive if it was someone like me who isn’t really known by anybody talking.”
7084
7085With a dry laugh and a pitiful voice, I had played check on the unknown black king.
7086
7087“That’s not true. I think you’ve done well in such a short time. It was to the extent I became curious who it was.”
7088
7089After Yukinoshita’s mother smiled and spoke as if she was truly impressed, she turned her neck.
7090
7091“My apologies, had I asked you what your name is?”
7092
7093And then she lowered her eyebrows and asked like she wasn’t that sorry.
7094
7095In a moment, Hiratsuka-sensei held my wrist to restrain me. She understood well that if I said my name here, the other side would get some kind of meaning out of it.
7096
7097But my turn had been over the moment the other side had asked. All that was left was to fulfil my role as another piece on the board.
7098
7099This piece usually never had any use. They were good-for-nothings that had no place on the board except to take up space.
7100
7101But, in just one circumstance were they capable of removing the queen from play.
7102
7103“It’s Hikigaya Hachiman.”
7104
7105When I named myself, Hiratsuka-sensei breathed out a small sigh as if she had given up and let go of my wrist.
7106
7107“Hikigaya…”
7108
7109Yukinoshita’s mother placed a hand to her mouth while repeating my name in a small voice and wandered her gaze downwards. Seeming like she finally remembered something, she raised her head.
7110
7111“I see… You’re…”
7112
7113I returned her gaze with a formal smile. I can’t do it as well as Hayama or Haruno-san, but I tried as best I could. Maybe it was effective, because Hiratsuka-sensei looked like she was playing dumb.
7114
7115The problem starts here. As I’ve named myself, I couldn’t afford to make any mistakes in my statements or behaviour. Whether it be coercion, insolence, or even being overly sucking-up, any of it could be seen as intimidation.
7116
7117And so, as long as I’ve been cornered, mistakes from now on will become my fault and becomes something the other side could take advantage of. That’s why I have to act with sincerity and convey that we have no ill intentions.
7118
7119“We caused you terrible trouble on that occasion. You parents were left with many things to do and excuse us that we couldn’t greet them.”
7120
7121Her words were as flat as possible and her lowered head was neither too shallow nor deep. Just fulfilling with as much duty as she held responsible. There weren’t any other unnecessary emotions within.
7122
7123This was a one form of diplomatic etiquette. It wasn’t an excessive show, but just enough.
7124
7125Maybe she thought the message was correctly conveyed, she returned to her composed self.
7126
7127“We truly apologise for the trouble caused by one of our own. How was your leg injury? We offer our sincere apologies for the inconvenience it must have caused.”
7128
7129I positively act in response to Yukinoshita’s mother deeply lowering her head.
7130
7131“I made a full recovery thanks to you. To the point my leg became even sturdier than before. You can watch me dance when the prom is on.”
7132
7133At that moment I moved just my foot around as my shoes made tapping noises and showed off how random my step work was. As I did so, Yukinoshita’s mother observed, placing her hand to her mouth as she pleasantly laughed.
7134
7135“What bad manners.”
7136
7137Hiratsuka-sensei hit my waist with a smack and thanks to that I could finally stop clowning around. I scowled at myself for acting so foolishly and I refrained from letting out a deep sigh.
7138
7139Still smiling as Yukinoshita’s mother watched, her eyes narrowed and she murmured to herself.
7140
7141“...has quite the nerve.”
7142
7143Her gaze was so cold it made me feel as if she was evaluating me and I was being frozen solid. In those eyes that looked as if they could see through everything, I felt nauseous.
7144
7145But that gaze soon loosened. Yukinoshita’s mother opened her folding fan and hid her mouth as she giggled. That was this person’s way of laughing honestly.
7146
7147“I’ll do it.”
7148
7149“Thank you for your help.”
7150
7151Until the very end, I tried to maintain my composure as I answered; wiping the sweat from my forehead while pretending I was combing my fringe. My shirt was tightly sticking to me from cold sweat and my throat was so dry it hurt even just by breathing in.
7152
7153Looking in hindsight, all I’d done was name myself and talk about that incident in the past. That name, that conversation, those themselves had no meaning. That’s why whoever heard it can give whatever meaning they want to it.
7154
7155Yukinoshita’s mother had been smiling for some time now, but it disappeared as she flicked the fan closed.
7156
7157“Alright… let me try talking to the caregivers. It would help if the teacher could also be present.”
7158
7159“We will adjust to your schedule.”
7160
7161I listened as the adults discussed business. My nervousness from before had been cleanly cut and I began to feel a surge of tiredness. Without realising it I was staring up at the ceiling, sighing deeply, and standing in a daze.
7162
7163“Hikigaya. Can you do something for me?”
7164
7165“Y-Yes.”
7166
7167Suddenly being talked to, I straightened my back in panic. It looked like the conversation had progressed quite a lot while I hadn’t been listening.
7168
7169“I can’t leave after this. Can you tell Yukinoshita to continue the revised plan for the prom? How you tell her, I’ll leave it to you.”
7170
7171“Ha… I got it...”
7172
7173Hiratsuka-sensei just nodded as I answered without having understood the flow of the conversation. Her eyes were telling me to hurry up and go. Well, it was true we didn’t have much time left until the prom. The decision-makers should be promptly told of this.
7174
7175After I stood up, Yukinoshita’s mother sitting on the other end smiled.
7176
7177“Hikigaya-kun. Let us meet again.”
7178
7179“Hahaha… Please excuse me.”
7180
7181Playing it off with a dry laugh and without giving a direct answer, I bowed and left the reception room. If possible, I didn’t want to meet her again...
7182
7183
7184
7185
7186
71878-3
7188
7189
7190
7191
7192I quietly walked down the school building in the approaching twilight and finally reached the Student Council room.
7193
7194I stood in front of the door and knocked. There was only a slight delay before there was an answer, and I breathed out a deep sigh.
7195
7196There were no sounds of footsteps and the door opened quietly. The heater must have been turned on as a flow of warm air escaped from the narrow opening.
7197
7198The person holding the door knob was a girl with plaited hair and glasses. If I remembered correctly, this was the secretary. She seemed to know who I was as she let me inside.
7199
7200I lightly lowering my head in thanks and entered, and right in front of me was the vice-president at his desk, crying “there’s no time… there’s no time...” while doing his work. Good, good, suffer some more.
7201
7202I looked around the inside of the room, but Yukinoshita wasn’t here. Just Isshiki at the desk on the far end, gnawing on snacks and tilting her neck as she looked at me.
7203
7204“...I hadn’t called for you.”
7205
7206Am I not allowed to come if I’m not called for? Yep, not allowed. When I opened my mouth to say the reason I’d come, Isshiki clapped her hands.
7207
7208“Ah, are you here to help? Aiming to be a servant? A free labour worker?”
7209
7210What’s with that super development? Just how much are you leaping? Having to deal with Irohasu who hadn’t changed, my shoulders dropped as some strength left my body.
7211
7212“Expect that next year. I’ll introduce you to a promising rookie. Anyway, where’s Yukinoshita?”
7213
7214I asked after our exchange of our usual remarks. Isshiki turned her neck and glanced at the unornamented desk Yukinoshita used.
7215
7216“Haa, now that you mention it, she’s not here.”
7217
7218Isshiki seemed to only notice this now. Seeing that reaction, it probably hadn’t been that long since she’d left.
7219
7220She probably left because the heater was on too strongly. Anyway, if Yukinoshita wasn’t here then there was no reason for me to be here either.
7221
7222“Then nevermind. Later.”
7223
7224“Ah, hey, what’s with that?! Didn’t you come for some reason?!”
7225
7226Isshiki called out and stopped me as I tried to quickly leave the room. I suddenly realised when she said “reason”. I hadn’t been told specifically to tell Isshiki, but I figured she should know. I stopped walking and turned around.
7227
7228“Ah, that’s right. They’ve decided to go with your proposal for the prom. You can go ahead and start on it. Good luck.”
7229
7230“Haa… Huh?”
7231
7232Isshiki’s mouth dropped open and turned her entire upper body along with her neck. If she heard the details, I’d have to tell her the whole story of how it all happened which would be too much of a pain. I’ll take my leave while Isshiki’s head is still trying to comprehend it.
7233
7234
7235
7236
7237
72388-4
7239
7240
7241I hadn’t decided on where I was going, but even so my legs didn’t hesitate and naturally headed towards that place. I thought she must be there.
7242
7243In the empty hallway of the special building. It’s been almost a year that I’ve passed through here towards the clubroom. I would probably still reach it even if I closed my eyes.
7244
7245Finally, I could see the door. I stood in front of it, traced it, then placed my fingers on the handle. It should be made of the same materials as every other classroom door, but I felt as if I would never forget this coldness and hardness.
7246
7247If I pulled with some strength, the door would make a noise and slide open.
7248
7249What’s in front of me, wasn’t a deviant, but a regular classroom.
7250
7251However, the reason I felt this classroom was different was likely because a certain girl was there.
7252
7253In the setting sun and the blowing wind, Yukinoshita Yukino was standing by the window, gazing at the outside.
7254
7255The window was wide open as if to change the atmosphere in the clubroom not used by anyone in a while and the curtain was swaying in the wind.
7256
7257Even if the world ended, this girl would be here, like this. This sight was so much like a painting that I was making these illusions.
7258
7259When I saw that, both my body and mind had stopped.
7260
7261——I was lost in admiration even when I was defeated.
7262
7263Yukinoshita noticed the visitor and she held her hair swaying in the wind as she turned around. Her eyes widened as if surprised for a moment, but quickly expressed a smile.
7264
7265“Hello.”
7266
7267“...Yeah.”
7268
7269As I answered her, Yukinoshita closed the window. The swaying curtains also stopped and all sound disappeared inside the clubroom.
7270
7271The sunset brilliantly filled this tranquil space. While my eyes narrowed due to the brightness, Yukinoshita leaned on the glass window and the glossy black hair on her shoulder shone even further.
7272
7273“Do you have a reason to be here?”
7274
7275“No, I was told to contact you about work.”
7276
7277“I see, I’m sorry I made you go out of your way to come all the way here.”
7278
7279“You don’t have to worry about it, it doesn’t take much time and effort.”
7280
7281As I answered, I pulled the chair closest to the door. In this place where I always sat on it, I lightly gestured to Yukinoshita to also sit down. It looked as if Yukinoshita was taken aback, but as I waited for her, she sighed as if giving up and sat on the chair closest to the window.
7282
7283“About the prom, ultimately your revised plan has safely passed. It looks like the subset of caregivers against the idea will be persuaded and will have to come to terms with it.”
7284
7285It should have been the first time Yukinoshita had heard of this, but she didn’t look so surprised. She didn’t move a single eyebrow and was just silently listening. While I was thought it was strange, I continued to say the last part.
7286
7287“That’s why… It’s my loss.”
7288
7289“Yes… It’s your win.”
7290
7291Finally, Yukinoshita deeply sighed and muttered.
7292
7293“...Why?”
7294
7295“It ended up this way because of your methods again. By essence, it’s your win.”
7296
7297Remembering the connection between the feeling of self-scorn and laughing at myself, I spat out the doubt that had been living in my chest.
7298
7299“...Even so, you foresaw this. Didn’t you know of my methods by now? That makes you the winner after all.”
7300
7301Hayama Hayato and Yukinoshita Haruno both knew of the dummy prom plan and had immediately seen through it. I’d barely managed to play check on the king by getting Yukinoshita’s mother on our side. Then in that case, it wouldn’t be any mystery that Yukinoshita Yukino, who held the same specs, would have seen through Hikigaya Hachiman’s shallow thinking.
7302
7303In the first place, the way Yukinoshita and Isshiki presented their idea had already been prone to errors. But that itself became the clue to my idea of presenting two choices, in which one choice would be crushed and the other would progress.
7304
7305As I questioned her, Yukinoshita hid her eyes and her neck shook.
7306
7307“That’s not certain. As long as the faction opposing the prom itself existed, our reasoning couldn’t even become established… But I figured, if it was you, you’d be able to do something about it.
7308
7309It was just like Yukinoshita to have foreseen such. Just, the smile she added at the end was connected to what she’d said. I wanted to deny it, but I could only foolishly lift one side of my cheek.
7310
7311“Trust is a heavy thing… It surprises me.”
7312
7313“I was also surprised. I naturally just thought in that way.”
7314
7315Yukinoshita smiled bitterly like she was being shy. I felt breathless seeing that. As I wondered how to reply back, Yukinoshita murmured in a fragile voice.
7316
7317“I depended on you so much that I thought like that…”
7318
7319Those eyes gazing at me were blurry with regret and sorrow. I couldn’t bear being seen with those eyes that I averted my own and quickly spoke.
7320
7321“...Even if that’s the case, it doesn’t change the fact it’s your win. The condition for victory was to make the prom a reality using our own methods, was it not. What made it happen was your plan, your methods.”
7322
7323“...You’re okay with it as my win?”
7324
7325Her tone of voice as she asked was feeble, and I wanted to cut her off from talking that way that I nodded three times while looking away.
7326
7327“Then… The match is hereby over. Will you listen to what I have to say?”
7328
7329I couldn’t pretend to not hear what she’d said. As I looked at Yukinoshita, it seemed as if she’d abandoned her weakness as she clenched her fists and tightened her lips. One of her eyes was shaking with determination as she waited for my impending reply.
7330
7331“...No, it won’t be that way. It’s true it’s your win this time. But that doesn’t mean you’ve won the entire competition.”
7332
7333“In regards to the conditions for victory, winning this match means winning the competition, and the other person must listen to what the winner says… I’m sure I said that.”
7334
7335I became aware of my lips drying up as I watched her explain it indifferently and declare it. I remembered hearing those words in the depths of my memories. While in both impatience and desperation, I somehow opened my mouth.
7336
7337“...That was just a figure of speech, a difference in opinion.”
7338
7339As Yukinoshita let out a trembling sigh, she murmured with a sweet tone of voice as if she was whispering sweet nothings.
7340
7341“Then… You decide.”
7342
7343As I see that fleeting transparent smile, I come to terms with my own defeat. She knows I wouldn’t be able to answer if she said that.
7344
7345While securing Yukinoshita Yukino’s autonomy, as long as I’ve decided to respect her own decisions, I can’t allow her to entrust her decisions to anyone else. Even if that someone was myself.
7346
7347That’s exactly why she accepted this match. For this one moment, all the disagreements, all the disorders, all the misunderstandings; she had brushed it all aside. To properly end this match, and this relationship.
7348
7349“I can’t make the decision… This is the same as me deciding the winner arbitrarily. Yuigahama is also in this match. And it’s judged at Hiratsuka-sensei’s own discretion and bias. And, and it’s sort of…”
7350
7351I couldn’t accept that ending. I quickly spoke as I couldn’t allow things to end like this. I didn’t know how to make her wait for just a moment, nor how I could stop her. Forgetting how to even breathe, I was reaching out toward nothingness.
7352
7353“...I’ll be honest.”
7354
7355As she interrupted my voice, Yukinoshita smiled sadly and faced me with wet eyes.
7356
7357“It was fun. It was my first time. I was happy thinking the time we spent together was comfortable…”
7358
7359Being told she was truly happy with a face that looked as if she would cry, I could no longer deny it nor stop her.” As I lost strength in arms and lowered them, Yukinoshita nodded as if she was thanking me and continued to speak.
7360
7361“I’d never argued and fought like we did… nor cried in front of others. I was so nervous even when we went out together, and it was the first time I was so unsure of what to do… I didn’t even know it was okay to rely on someone. That’s why it went wrong somewhere…”
7362
7363I looked up at the ceiling as I listened to her speaking so quickly about unsolicited things in a trembling voice. The distant sunset hurt my eyes, but even so I couldn’t close them and just let out a damp sigh.
7364
7365“This kind of imitation-like relationship is wrong. It’s definitely different to what you desired.”
7366
7367Her monologue tied things together like that, and when I realised the end was coming, I finally looked at her face.
7368
7369“I’m okay. I’m… okay now. I was saved by you.”
7370
7371Wiping her glistening tears with her fingertips, Yukinoshita Yukino smiled beautifully.
7372
7373“That’s why, this match, and this relationship, let’s end it with this.”
7374
7375If that was her answer, I had no reason to make an objection. The objective to help her was achieved, the co-dependency was resolved to end the relationship, and the boy’s willpower stood firm.
7376
7377I didn’t happen to have the mind of fulfilling wishes. The club activities and work ended here.
7378
7379That’s why I had nothing left. Every reason I had to get involved with her were all gone.
7380
7381“Alright… It’s my loss.”
7382
7383I sighed deeply as I spoke as if I was spitting everything out. To fulfil the last responsibility left to me, I questioned her.
7384
7385“I’ll listen to what you say. What should I do? ...If it’s something I can do, I’ll grant you whatever you want.”
7386
7387In truth, I’d vowed to at least grant that much, no matter what.
7388
7389Yukinoshita let out a sigh as if in relief, she told me something she must have been holding close to her dearly.
7390
7391“Please grant Yuigahama-san’s wish.”
7392
7393“Are you fine with that as your request?”
7394
7395“Yes, this is my request.”
7396
7397To Yukinoshita who closed her eyes and nodded as if caring for someone, I answered her with the most gentlest smile I could make.
7398
7399“...Alright.”
7400
7401Following our last exchange, I stood up from my chair. Yukinoshita didn’t move from that place and the distance between us began to widen just by the sounds of my footsteps as I finally reached the corridor.
7402
7403And then, softly and gently, I closed the door as if stopping myself from doing so.
7404
7405
7406
7407
7408
7409
7410Interlude 7
7411
7412
7413
7414The door was closed, but to prevent it from being opened once again, I locked it tightly with the key.
7415
7416One time for the last time.
7417
7418I gently stroke the door, chiseling the surface into my skin.
7419
7420As it became colder.
7421
7422As it started to hurt even more.
7423
7424I became able to believe the answer I chose was the genuine one.
7425
7426Since I had no other ways to confirm it, I don’t know it that was the correct answer. Thus the search for the mistakes would never end.
7427
7428Just because of one simple genuine thing, I yearned for it, admired it, became impatient then complicated it. Without being able to even cry, my body is burning.
7429
7430After burning out, the only thing remaining was a twisted sham.
7431
7432But still, to me that was something irreplaceable, because it’s clothing I can’t change.
7433
7434Let me at least tuck it away, prevent it from being destroyed. And thus everything will end.
7435
7436—Please, let this this be the right ending.
7437
7438This was my prayer. My hands left the door.
7439
7440One step away, two steps away. I went to a place where my hands can’t reach it anymore.
7441
7442I don’t look back anymore.
7443
7444
7445
7446
7447
7448Afterword
7449....