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1CHAPTER #1
2We are in an empty room, everybody is naked and I am apparently a new contestant for some sick arena. I am stuck with 3 idots.
3
4We reach into the basket a pull-out clothing and items. Humber and Shep stick their arms into the basket and the basket breaks. Shep finds a scroll. We attack the zombie but it turns into dust. We fall down into a pit and find an iron crossed gate. I try to attack the gate but nothing happens except it opening up. I walked toward the gate. I spit through it and on the other side, Shep gets hit by the spit. Jeff slobbers on himself.
5
6Humber does not see me sneak through the gate. We see red stone and lava on the other side. I pick a rock and smash it in half. I follow and put half of the stone into my pouch.
7
8Humber - Jeff - Shep - Xyle
9
10Something is in the corner of our eyes. (We roll initiative) We encounter elementals of different types and speeds with the fire elemental comes the lava. 20 feet away from us on each side come earth elementals and they put their heads down. The fire elemental is 15 feet away from us within the lava. Shep ducks and Humber steps away while preparing for attack. I speak to the rock elementals in attempt to convert them. The rocks question why they should join me and hurt their friend.
11
12The earth elementals rise from the ground next to Jeff and attempt to attack him. The elemental misses as Jeff dodges. Jeff gets beaten badly after a second attack.
13
14Jeff took 49 damage.
15
16Humber runs towards Jeff who is just standing there extremely hurt.
17I run towards Jeff, heal him with cure wounds and run away 25 feet.
18
19The freezing slate rain is not helping. The earth elemental grappled by a raging Humber is trying to escape. The other elemental tries to hit Humber but misses. The fire elemental is trying to get to Shep. I attack an earth elemental but I miss. The fire elemental hits me for 8 dmg. I am being beaten to the snap particle by the elementals. I got 68 health. I throw a rock into the fire elemental and the earth elemental does not follow. I try to attack the red earth elemental because I got a grudge.
20
21Jeff successfully banishes the fire elemental to a different plane of existence. Humber needs help! I give aid to everyone else and Jeff casts shatter. The earth elemental is being beaten into the concrete here! The other earth elemental explodes and I convince the remaining elemental to kill himself. Everything goes black, we are in a room and take a long rest.
22
23We wake up in a room and smell horrible, even Humber! Jeff snaps his fingers and we are magically clean. We walk into a desert and are met by a snake creature we kill. Another appears and Shep is on 16 hp! I cast aid on everybody in the party except me. The snake is under the ground. It attacks Humber as I sneak close to the ground, trying desperately to be unseen.
24
25Humber is swallowed by the creature but I attack the creature with a swift stab and it dies!
26We black out and end at the cell. We observe the blood on the wall from the beginning and take a long rest. 
27
28CHAPTER #2
29We wake up on our mats and wake up with a stiff back. The guy with the best bed seems different. We see a 3-foot Nome with a fabulous cloak which does not fit his other clothes. Jeff was replaced with some hooded figure that we can barely see. We hear an announcement made from the same ass who switched up teams last time. In the shadow I notice red eyes with brown skin and red hair. He is 6-foot-tall and slender staring us down. Judging us.
30
31They see me with my weapon and my will at ready.
32The Nome tells us his name: Toffe. I can remember back to my days that my history teacher told me everything. I was kicked out later for stabbing some guy. Varis refuses to talk to us about himself.
33
34Everything goes black as we feel cold and wake up in the room with the iron gate. Everything is the same and Varis is on the ground. Lazy ass.
35
36Toffe reaches into his bag and pulls out a bunch of marbles and flicks one at each of us. We all catch one. He tells us that if we need magic, just tap the balls. I guess he gave us magic spells that are in the marbles. We just tap them. I look at the marble. I feel I could grow or shrink myself. The spell itself is most important indeed. The iron gates are open. We walk through the gate. The air is moist and tastes like shit. I follow in after Varis and step 1 foot away from the gateway exit. The corridor is cramped. We see well and Shep sees nothing! We see a faint light ahead and slime on the walls. I run after Varis who sprinted to the light.
37
38Toffe has a barreled gun. He’s packing heat. We hear Toffe screaming like a madman. Very unstealthily. We walk into a somewhat small room with a single torch. To our right is another corridor and to the left is a staircase going down. I try to pull the torch and it comes off the wall. In the light we see Toffe holding a metal weapon. I heard rumors of people infusing magic into this kind of weapon. I doubt its real.
39
40I hold the torch. Varis goes towards the staircase and I tell Shep to shut up. Varis goes oof. Shep tries to flip me off and fails. Varis goes to scout ahead and turns invisible in the dark. Toffe says that every time Varis is gone, something is going to happen.
41
42We are worried on what Varis may find down that dark staircase. Shep looks around and realizes that this area has no water but is full of fungus. The air isn't moist! IT IS ACIDIC! The corridor is a painted-on wall! Shep looks at sir Bearington the third, Toffe's companion. They look at each other. The construct flips Shep off and continues standing around. He only listens to Toffe.
43
44Shep looks at me and says there is a magic item if I step into the corridor. I wonder if should go get it. Varis is till walking back up.
45I think something is fishy. Toffe realizes that there is no magic there. Shep continues to lie to Toffe. Toffe tells Shep about his knowledge of magic proving Shep is a prick. Varis yells out "These are some long fucking stairs!" We hear it. Varis tells us he saw nothing but I can tell he is lying. He seems disappointed.
46
47Varis tells me that he found an empty dirty room with a low roof with nothing interesting. I believe him. Toffe reaches into his bag and pulls out a magnifying glass. He is trying to find magic in the hall. He moves the glass and sees magic on us but nothing around us. He was trying to detect magic, seems to work. Varis walks down the corridor. He hears a click and teleports the fuck away from there to our sides as we watch spikes go throughout the corridor shoot out.
48
49I notice Varis next to me. Varis forgets where the spikes are but so do I!! Where did they go! We can't see them anymore after trying to continue to look. Toffe see that all the spikes are purely mechanical. He goes close to the spikes and walks across the corridor. He tells Varis to not walk after him. He yells at us that the weight senses at 100 pounds. I am way too heavy.
50
51Shep sees the wholes where the spears came out. He tries to climb the wall and the spikes almost got him but apparently, he was lucky enough to survive. I yell to Toffe to help us. He digs in his bag and looks at some papers. I hold the torch remembering that the torch is not 100 pounds. Toffe licks his lips and seems aroused. He pulls out some tools and jabs them into a random hole.
52
53We hear a LOT of clicks and a little tune play. Toffe tells me to come across. Sir Bearington holds me by the hand and walks me across. I walk with him hand in hand but hear clicking! No spikes come across though, Toffe is just making clicking noises.
54
55We look around and find another torch. I pull clothing over my facial area. Shep grabs the torch and Varis takes 3 steps back. The torch won’t budge. I walk to the torch and try to pull it down. The torch gets closer to the wall than it was before. Shep turns to the robot and tells it to do its thing. Sir Bearington punches the torch after Toffe commands it to test its strength. He punches a hole through the wall and we see a torch. Toffe goes to the hole and fixes the hole. Bearing ton pulls the lever on Toffe's command.
56
57Shep turns to Toffe and asks if it’s safe. Toffe says he did not check but he will look around. He tells us to stand back and looks to us and says "iT iS pROBabLy oK!" Toffe's cape whips around his head to cover his mouth. I've already had my mouth covered. There is green gas coming from the wall. Varis is immune to the poison but I'm not. We march forward like the Red Army. Varis is just fine, the gas doesn't hurt him. Toffe puts his hands out to Shep. We see in front of us a stairway down. Shep isn't going to look after the laughing fit he had to drive him out of mind.
58
59I look around and realize the stairway is bigger than the 1 at the beginning. It’s the only way. Varis goes first sneakily. We hear a thunk down there. Toffe says "I bEt hE bIT tHE dUsT!" Shep agrees and seems to like Toffe more.
60
61Shep goes to Toffe and tries to befriend him I guess. I ask Toffe where his robot came from. Toffe says that he built it himself, everything he has is his. Even the magic in the marbles, although the marbles where bought. I just listen to the conversation and whisper to Toffe that he needs to teach this stuff. Toffe had electricity in his hand almost it seemed as he reacted to my sudden presence. Varis yells "These are some fucking long ass stairs!" We see him out of breath as he arrives at the top.
62
63Varis informs me in whisper about the hollow stone in the wall. We converse about the wall. We see Toffe pull out random shiz. Shep can't hear us. Toffe asks for the plan. We plan to take Toffe, Varis and myself down to check the brick while we leave Shep up top with Berrington. I hear Humber in the distance swing his axe! Its Humber! Why is he down here?
64
65I run down the stairs using my great feline agility. I hear Humber say "I SWING MY AXE!" followed by a metallic sound. The nostalgic sentence fills me with memory. Once we find Humber we all gather around.
66
67I tell Humber of our adventures with the current party. Toffe tells Humber that he has always wanted to build a warforge like Bearington. I hold my torch as I hiss at Humber for sounding insulting to Toffe.
68
69The party is Humber - Toffe & Bearington - Varis - Shep - Xyle
70
71Toffe pulls out a Bear skull and puts it back. He says we should stand back, he is going to do something fun and pulls out a handful of dynamite and a Firestarter. The wall explodes out with a deafening blast.
72
73The wall is gone and the room is open. The announcer says we wasted our time with traps. Toffe introduces Varis and Bearington. Humber asks Varis "WHO ARE YOU" with Varis replying "I'm Varis." Humber says "WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS GUY". Toffe snaps his fingers and my torch goes out but relights it immediately after. Humber swing his axe and it goes over Toffe. Toffe mumbles incoherently.
74
75Toffe pulls out his weapon and shows Humber but Humber has no clue what the metal rod DOES.
76We see red eyes and tendrils. The mold is coming alive. It pulls off the wall and it attacks me and Humber. I take a shit ton of damage in the back of the head and my eyes go black for a second.
77
78Humber turns around and wildly swings at me but I recover from the daze and pull out my rapier to deflect the attack causing it to miss me barely and instead hits the monster with decent strength. Thank goodness he isn't raging or I would have died! He slices a tentacle but we are unsure if the monster took damage. Shep being 35 feet and searches through his spells and casts holy weapon on Toffe's gun. I cast Shield of Faith on Humber and run away as fast as I can with feline agility to Varis's side.
79
80Toffe is trying to shoot the monster. As I come back from a quick shower upstairs why unknown means, Humber attacks the monster in rage. Toffe shot the monster and it hit but we can't tell how much damage we did to the moss. Shep casts some sort of spell. I do not know.
81
82Shep banished the monster, we are saved! We go through the same blackout, rest and wakeup process. 
83CHAPTER #3
84We wake up in the stone room with the iron gate. We walk through a gate and find a rocky mountainside. At the top there is a hole or a cave. We look off the side and see sheer drops. We look to the other side and see lava and we see a large hole very far away. While Toffe and Bearington moves away, Varis and I sing the German and Russian anthems and Shep joins in for shiz n' giggles until Toffe comes back.
85
86I notice a large shadow on the ground that is moving very quickly. The shadow of a bird. I look up and see something way too bright. The air is arid and our mouths are dry. The area we are in IS rocky though, no desert thankfully. Humber swings his axe and swings it to the ground. Humber says "I SWING MY AXE". I walk towards the cave.
87
88I try to crouch. Didn't seem to work. We see the shadow getting bigger and bigger. Humber is going to the giant bird's left ankle. Humber swings his axe. Shep starts bowing down in autistic prayer. Humber swings his axe. We feel heat coming off the bird.
89Toffe aims up and fires his gun and Humber prepares for attack. I step next to Varis and hold my shield in front of me.
90
91Shep uses insect plague and it hits the giant bird. The bird flies down to Humber. Humber gets minimal damage and runs towards the cave and Toffe shot the bird but missed. Bearington runs next to Toffe as he clicks his boots. I yell out "What do you want!" I run 80 feet to the cave. Shep teleports to the cave and dashes inside by 30 feet. Humber runs toward the bird in a blind stupor.
92
93Toffe is almost to the cave along with his companion. I see the bird flying fast towards its home along with seeing Shep run into the cave. I cast Aid and everybody except Shep gets +5 hit points. The giant firebird is still flying but is at the entrance of the cave.
94Humber swings his axe and runs almost killing me. Toffe is almost to the edge of the cave.
95
96I run as fast as I possibly can to that cave. Humber yells to me as we run for me to cast that one shield spell upon him. I cast it and continue running in hopes Humber uses his new shield power to dominate. I can't see anything going on through the fog wall that Shep casted behind him, I can only hear the screams and yells of the party. I trap the firebird with my channeled divinity to cast "natures wrath" to trap the bird. I got lucky and it traps it for now!
97
98Varis and Shep are trapped in the talons of the beast. My luck holds out a little longer. The firebird struggles but fails. Humber runs to the Firebird and swings his axe. Toffe flies up and throws his Javelins but both miss. He uses his gun and misses and scrapes Varis. Shep banishes the giant bird! Toffe flips up his coat and shows everybody 4 potions and gives us 4 healing potions. And I gave Shep a normal healing potion. We are preparing for battle!
99
100Shep casts holy weapon on Toffe's gun and Humber started climbing up the cliffside. The firebird flies up after him and grabs Humber, hurting him in the process. Things are looking bad. Humber rages and jumps off and climbs 50 feet but is still right next to the chicken. I try to climb up and reach 20 feet so far. As I climb up, Varis Naruto-runs up the wall at break-neck speeds and reaches 100 feet onto a platform. Shep uses sunbeam scroll.
101
102Shep gets flights from pixies but immediately kills one for the sheer fun of it. The others were so horrified that their friend was smushed like butter so badly that they took flight away from Shep. They entangle Shep and dance around him. The giant bird tries to grab Humber and succeeds, Humber seems hurt. Humber continues to try to climb, but only moves a small distance.
103
104Varis took immense damage from the firebird's attack. Toffe pulls out his ladder which continues and continues seemingly infinite. His construct is attempting to scare off the Pixies and they run away.
105
106I have a realization when I look at Varis during his run of the wall. He seems very familiar. We have fought before as comrades of battle, but I just can't remember where. Either way we must carry on! I am near the bottom of the ledge barely there. I overhear Shep praying and when I turn to look, Shep was gone. Good riddance! I see someone else inside the vines themselves, humanoid in appearance. Either way I continue climbing, up to 40 feet more and about one-third of the way there. I see Varis chug a Supreme Healing potion. I see somebody rip out of the vines and also see Humber climb to the very top. I hear Toffe shout "iS tHaT mArCUs?!" I climb on the ladder Toffe places and I am a little over halfway there. I see Varis struggle in the firebirds talon but does not break free as I hear somebody below me talk to Toffe and yell. I hear Humber yell to Varis asking what he sees but what Varis said I could not understand properly. Either way I continue climbing up also realizing that I am three-fourths of the way there, the ladder is an esca-ladder, Markus and Toffe are below and I feel determination!
107
108I see Varis get out of the firebird's grasp very easily like wind through sail. The firebird is flying toward Varis with great ferocity and Varis punches the beast with might but the firebird seems unaffected in its determination to kill Varis but in the right moment, Humber SWINGS HIS AXE at the firebird with incredible zeal, dealing extreme pain to the firebird in the form of 52 damage and as Humber swings his axe again, he hits but does not as much damage as previously dealt. But the firebird attacks Humber back, dealing a decent chunk of damage to Humber and grapples him and Varis. Toffe shoots the firebird and nearly hits Varis and I use all my strength to get to the top of the ledge. Markus, I see is trying to heal Varis and I make my plans as Marcus DOES heal Varus for 18 hit points, barely alive! Varis looks at Markus as he shouts "DID YOU SUCK ANY GOOD ONES LATELY?", they both seem to be opposites being that Markus is chaotic good and the Varis is lawful evil. The firebird drops Varis into the nest but Varis is unconscious. Toffe looks up and smiles extremely widely. That look frightens me. Humber is climbing the ladder going higher. Humber gives everybody warning and readies us for battle!
109
110Toffe lifts a marble, crushes it and disappears entirely. I sneak and become practically invisible, confusing Marcus. I move close to the next but do not touch it as I look around, I see a wall I could climb up without actually touching the nest. Varis passes out from heat exhaustion. Markus comes up to where he last saw me and asks "Who is hurt?" I tell him that it is Varis who is in the nest. Markus climbs into the nest and tries to heal Varis. The struggle is getting real. The firebird attacks Varis and Markus and I make my way to the wall as Humber beings to go in rage. I make my way to the wall and climb up sneakily as Varis climbs out of the nest. Markus runs out of the nest and we continue the fight. I have a plan to try and force this shit to an end before someone dies. The firebird attacks Humber but he manages to pull through with a spell. I climb up the wall and see the nest. The firebird got Humber and Markus in its talons. I sit and wait patiently.
111
112Varis goes into the nest and attacks an egg and the egg barely cracks. Sadly, at this point the firebird sees me at this point. Markus escapes the firebirds grip and casts holy weapon onto his hammer, attacking the beast and landing a great hit. Varis gets hit by the firebird and he goes unconscious. Toffe tries to shoot the firebird and it hits and deals 35 damage. Ouch! The firebird is now dead but explodes with a massive impact! Varis seems to be needing immediate support. Markus holds out his holy symbol and revives Varis. Everybody restores with +29 extra health. Everything goes black. After we survive the battle with the firebird, we are all severely burned and are in the resting room. Shep is dry-humping Sir Bearington who stares at Humber. We are tired and take a long rest.
113CHAPTER #4
114We wake up in a 10x10 room. Shep is dry humping the air. Sir Bearington, Toffe and Varis are gone. Usually we would find a gate but there’s just a hallway with another room at the end of the hallway. Shep runs across the hallway which is riddled with blood and dead bodies. Shep hugs the chest. We run to Shep are gathered around next to a chest, which Shep is hugging and dry-humping. Humber swings his axe at the top-center of the chests but the axe bounces off.
115
116Shep pulls on the lock and it comes off and looks at me and Humber and asks why we didn't do it. Humber opens the chest and we hear clicking. Humber picks up the chest which holds 10,000 Gold within. I look and realize the traps in the hallway reset when Humber picked up the chest. Humber closes the chest and asks Shep for the lock. Shep complies upsettingly and Humber sets the lock onto the chest and gets ready to go into the hallway. Humber swings his axe at the chain holding the trap-axe.
117
118He hits it and the chain doesn't budge as Humber says "I THINK THE TRAP IS MAGICAL". Shep autistically whines. Humber grabs Shep and throws him at the trap-axes. Shep is carved in the back by an axe and takes 25 damage but lands on the other side. Humber throws me and I perfectly go through landing right next to Shep. Shep autistically whines more as I see Humber going to try and run through the swinging axes in the hallway and walks passed without a problem as Shep continues to autistically whine.  
119
120Humber says that he thinks this part of the hallway consists of dart traps and grabs Shep and throws him and we see fire engulf Shep forcing him to take 18 damage. Humber walks through the hallway of death and flame and gets hurt, taking 18 points of damage. I try to find a way to disarm the trap and see a dead body with burnt flesh right next to me. I look through his pockets and find a bag of marbles that are just the perfect size to fit in the holes. I fit the marbles into the holes to create a path. Shep and Humber say this is going to be good. I hear the stone creak and groan but as soon as I go through the marbles pop out and melt but I go through just fine. I heal Shep and Humber says "THIS IS A DART TRAP" as we notice smaller holes, smaller than previously. Humber grasps Shep and Shep takes 64 poison damage, becoming unconscious upon reaching the other side. He needs healing. Me and Humber run through and hear a click as we reach the other side and we see needles all over Shep. I give Shep my normal Healing Potion to try and keep him alive and we see him wake up. Humber pulls out needles as best as he can.
121
122Humber tells us that there are a lot of bumps in the ground but he touched one and nothing happened. I heal Shep a little more but he autistically whines again. Shep casts aid giving everybody 5 more temporary hit points and casts mass-healing-word which
123heals a bunch of us for 6 hit points except me. Humber goes in rage and runs through the bumped hallway and Javelins spear into Humber, holding him in place while taking 13 points of damage.
124
125Humber continues to take damage as we try to find a way to free him. I find there is no way to access and the only way we can free him is to break the Javelins. Humber breaks one of the Javelins. I hit a Javelin with my rapier in attempt to help and decimate a Javelin with 6 Javelins left and Shep attacks a Javelin with his fist, doing 1 damage. Humber attacks a Javelin and breaks more. I attack a Javelin and break one, 4 Javelins left. Shep tries to attack a Javelin again but nothing happens as Humber gets hurt by the Javelins again, taking little damage then tries to attack a Javelin but fails. I attack a Javelin and it shatters, 3 left as Humber screams as Shep to "DO SOMETHING!". Shep tries to cast fire upon the Javelins screaming "I kNoW WHAt I Am DOIng!" Humber takes 10 damage from the blast and the rest of the Javelins are destroyed. We take a short rest and Humber becomes unconscious. I cast aid upon everybody, giving Humber especially 5 extra hit points who takes a short rest. I look around and see we are closer to the edge of the room that we were previously in but I do not see anything else. After a short rest, Humber heals   up almost to full, we are so close to losing a party member. Shep heals up to 1 hit point.
126
127After looking around, Humber is still blind as usual. I command Shep to look ahead to see if he can see anything and see sees some wall. He promptly shouts: "That is a lot of wall I see!" I walk forward into the hall and gas fills the room. It is sleep gas! Shep falls asleep on the ground but everybody else is fine. We exit the hallway and enter the 10x10 room we were in before but with a new door we haven’t seen before. In a couple minutes I am going to pass out so I follow everybody else as I see Humber walk into the room through the door. I walk in and jump with great feline dexterity to cling onto the wall. With my dark vision I STILL can't see Humber. I hear thumps below. I climb across and look down, looking for Humber.
128
129I hear autistic whining coming from below, Shep seems to be... fine. I try to pick the lock but the tools break. I try to break the knob but fail to do so, but I do hear Humber climbing very slowly. An hour passes, my arms are shaking and Humber is right next to me as I try to break the door, but nothing happens until I stab the door's keyhole with my Rapier. Shep mends my toolset and I try to pick the lock but I failed again. Me and Shep look around and see the gas from the hall has cleared out. Humber goes to the ledge where the gas was and throws the chest into the hole and leaves Shep on the ledge. I stand on Humber's head and work on cracking the code. After twenty minutes I pick the lock and the door opens inward! I step inside and order Humber to get Shep. I stand on the ledge and break half of my red rock and throw the half in, storing the other in my pack. Humber gets Shep and we are in the doorway.
130
131There is another door with no lock. I try to push it but nothing happens, we are confounded by this. Shep autistically yells "i SeE dOoR!". The door looks like it is made out of the same materials as the chest. I command Humber to throw me and I start falling faster and faster. The chest is falling too fast for me to catch up. I do a dive and see a light down below, quickly seeing Humber and Shep and continue to fall. I vaguely see Humber swing his axe at the door but it bounced off. I flatten myself out and grab onto the chest with my back onto the ground. I grab a key, a lock and a handful of gold. When I pass them again I yell out "CATCH!" Humber yelled something but I couldn't hear anything but Shep's whining. I pull out the key I got and I try to drop it in the hands of Humber and Shep. I believe Humber caught the key. When I pass by again I yell "LOCK!" then "CATCH!" once more. I believe Humber caught the lock as well. I start falling slower and slower and I try to catch the ledge and do so with immense ease.
132
133I look behind myself and pull all the gold in the chest and bring it with me. Humber is so happy as I bleed from my ears. We see a door with a disgusting sign that says "sHoP" with the "P" being backwards. We open the door and see it is a nice shop. We all were given either a scroll or potion. I was given a potion of fire resistance. Shep was given an alchemy Jug. Humber got flying boots.
134
135CHAPTER #5
136There was an odd time dilation rift. Markus, Toffe and Humber is here I hope... Toffe picks up a basket and Markus does nothing. I look around and it is just me, Varis and Markus alongside Humber. Markus was teleported away because he told us something about the next "battle". Toffe is nowhere to be seen as Humber screams "I SWING MY AXE" and continues to do so for a good while. Humber continues to swing his axe as he walks to a corner of the room. I sneak as Humber tries to swing his axe at me but he misses but still continues to swing his axe. He nearly hits me as a zombie walks up to us and pulls out a note to me and Humber saying "Leave my store." I walk out the store with Varis apologizing to the zombie as I leave. Me and Varis see that Toffe and Bearington along with Markus to boot are gone. We see the zombie use magic to push Humber out. Me and Varis jump into a bunkbed after appearing in a room and I meditate. We wake up and I see a lantern and realize the more yellow, the higher the day and the redder, the darker the day. Humber swings his axe. I black out and after regaining my vision, I see an axe almost hit my face.
137
138I see near me is a dwarven person about 6 feet tall. I see Humber right in front of me and the dwarf behind Humber. Humber looks at the dwarf and swings his axe at the dwarf as the dwarf puts his hands out, causing words to appear midair. I go up to him and ask “DO YOU SPEAK COMMON?!” I see words appear “I am a mute.” I see the dwarf summon letters, saying he is a respectable man I believe him. I look around and see sleeping mats, a hanging lantern and blank walls as usual. In the corner of my eye a door appears. I see the dwarf just outright disappear immediately right in front of me with the last I saw was him turning to the door. Humber goes to the open door and swings his axe as he goes through. I follow him. Humber swings his axe at the iron gate like he used to, and it bounces off.
139
140The door behind us slowly closes. We are in the same room with the iron gate. I see words appear most likely from the dwarf asking what is going on. I inform him what it is and we all go through the gate. We look around and I can see that I am in a forest. Humber goes to a tree, chopping it while making an extreme amount of noise. I just notice an elf with the party. I see the dwarf ask if this guy is autistic referring to Humber, everybody agrees so. I ask the elf for its name and she tells me “Kleye”. I look over at the dwarf with a name appearing above him with the name being “Jared.” Humber so-far has only chopped one tree. I ask Kleye if she sees anything. Humber is still chopping one tree.
141
142Jared says “What is the deal here guys?” Kleye tells me she has not seen much in the distance and that we should keep going forwards. The dwarf asks Kleye if she saw anything. Kleye seems to sort of believe him but she doesn’t say anything. “What the fuck, so you DO KNOW SOMETHING!” Kleye tells everyone we should move forwards and Humber shouts “HOW IS THE DWARF GOING TO ASK FOR HELP?!” The dwarf tells us it can create sounds magic. I hear someone say “What is your business?” I hear it from the bush and tell it we are peaceful. I tell them that I am peaceful, but probably not Humber. The voice is dancing around the trees. Humber is still being an idiot.
143
144Jared sneaks into a bush but he seems to not see anything. The voice somewhere says “I need help with something.” I say sure, what do you need help with. I hear it say it will be fun to play with new friends. I see an orcish like beast walk out of the woods. Humber seems to maybe know him but I cannot tell as he makes an autistic noise. I see the dwarf sneak up behind him and puts his rapier to the creature’s throat, but it does not flinch. I see letters “Yea I know I am pretty cool, now who are you?” The beast says “I am Griffin, the Barbarian King.” I see a patch on his armor and remember about something of a tale of a barbarian warrior who was favored by animal souls who became king by taking land. Humber seems to know this “Griffin” before, stating that he has never had the chance to defeat him in battle. Griffin offers money as he does not need any. He and Humber engage in conversation comparing weapons. Griffin asks the dwarf to try and take the weapon if he can but the dwarf is backing off. I see Griffin is about 8 feet tall.
145
146Griffin states his pet was killed by a dragon and he wants revenge. I offer to help and Griffin states there are gifts involved if the party helps. He states that he has a powerful magical item he can give to us if we help him. Humber autistically counts the party. Humber asks Griffin if it is a red dragon, he says no. Griffin states he knew it was a dragon by the marks. I ask Griffin if he knows where the dragon might possibly be. He lifts his finger and says “This way.” And begins walking that way. I follow him and he immediately disappears in example of his stealth and lifts from a bush and continues to walk. We all walk for around 10 hours, it is starting to get dark and my soles are in pain. Griffin states that we can still continue and I just follow him. Humber stays back to chop some trees autistically. Griffin takes an hour around the forest, showing us that he is great at surviving until we come to a stop, motioning with his hand throwing a javelin into a turkey which immediately floats to his hand with the turkey attached. I hear Humber gobble turkey noises and Griffin immediately walks back stating there may be more. As we walk back we see a pile of logs in one corner and a separate pile that is barely on fire. I see Griffin cluck and gut the turkey and begins cooking it. I fuel the campfire. I see Kleye make a big hammock, big enough for many people and Jared attempts to take a spot and he takes the top bunk. Kleye takes the bottom. Griffin left portions of bitten food, I grab some and eat it. Griffin says that Jared should not take anything as Jared picks up the turkey. “You better be sharing.” Was heard from Griffin.
147
148Jared takes half of the turkey as I continue eating some bits of the turkey. Kleye hands out berries. Kleye goes to look out food for herself and since I ate plenty I climb up to a tree. I hear Humber below talk about a sparring match with Griffin and I hear a nice battle below. The sounds of metal clanking and aggravations engulf the air. I watch the battle as Griffin goes in rage and hit Humber. After many misses at attacking, Humber manages to barely hit Griffin dealing a small amount of damage. He swings again and misses. Griffin swings his weapon once, missing but the second does a major blow to Humber dealing moderate damage and knocking Humber into prone. They both continue to fight and I go to the top of the tree and see that about 20 miles away, the air gets a bit foggy.
149
150I make a small cozy bed, lie down and listen to the lovely sounds of battle and spar below. Humber sounds like he is losing miserably which is not at all surprising. Humber is getting beaten extremely badly, whining to finish the fight. I get down the tree after a night’s sleep, I see Toffe below with the others and I begin walk with everyone as we walk about 10-20 miles. The landscape around us is turning into a swamp-like scape of sorts. The air is getting cold as the fog is setting in. Griffin says that we should not be too far, we should be 10 miles, we are almost to the lair but it is getting dangerous. Me and Kleye talk about the potential dangers. Griffin starts sneaking and I join him although I am not as invisible as he is apparently. Toffe sneaks and succeeds. We all see the dark, black monster. It is rather large and has many scales, being very tall. Toffe whispers that he thinks that it is a dragon. I sneak with Toffe closer to the dragon. Jared sneaks up towards the dragon. Toffe sneaks close to Jared. I realize that the dragon is an ancient dragon, the one in the legends. It is known for the longer it lives, the stronger it gets and it seems VERY strong.
151
152I am about 100 feet away from it, next to Kleye. I see Griffin go up to the dragon. The Dragon with a deep bellowing speech, ask “Who goes there.” Griffin yells “THAT’S THE ONE!”  as he pulls out his sword and yells in talk to the dragon. Jared tries to go in front of Griffin to trip him in attempt to stop his attack but fails. Jared slaps Griffin and he rages heavily. Griffin is purely FUSED with rage and anger. Jared tries to tell everyone that we should run. I see a javelin tossed by Griffin hit the dragon, fly out into Griffin’s hands and he tosses it again. The dragon grabs the tossed javelin but it just flies out of its hand. Jared jumps off Griffin doing an extreme triple ultra-backflip onto the dragon. I see words in front of the dragon appear saying “Hey dragon.” Jared pulls out his weapon but he does barely any damage to the beast. I sprint towards the dragon with my Rapier held and try to shank the dragon, missing both times. In my shame I disengage as I hear Humber yell “You need a slashing weapon!” before screaming “BOOST ME!” I see 8 centipedes transform into giant centipedes due to Kleye’s spell. Kleye immediately transforms into a giant snake. Toffe tries to fire his weapon and as he fires I black out for a short moment, upon coming back I see the dragon is a bit more hurt with Humber, Toffe, a Raging-Charging Griffin and I see the battle goes favorably in our side for now. Griffin attacks the dragon, dealing a good sizable amount of pain and damage. Griffin screams a horrible scream, a shout worthy of nightmares completely out of anger and fury.
153
154Humber in rage comes up, tries to hit the dragon with two swings but misses both swings. I black out and upon waking up I see a wave of damage. I manage to not get hit though with everybody except me and Toffe taking a good sizable amount of damage. I see the dragon fly up with Jared still on his neck but before it fully takes off, Griffin hits it dealing a decent amount of damage. I see Jared try to shank the eye of the beast but he does next to no damage. I see words appear in front of it, from Jared saying “Stop being a bitch, land!” So, it seems to me that all is doing well. Water jumps like a tidal wave at me and Kleye, we are being pulled under. Kleye manages to stand up and conjure giant eagles. Humber continues to scream “BOOST ME!” to everyone in his range. Kleye transforms into a giant eagle like the 4 others he summons. I get up and barely get to where Griffin is and I prepare to dodge.
155
156Toffe goes closer to the dragon. Griffin jumps and grabs onto the dragon’s right claw. The dragon drops Griffin and Jared is pushed off the dragon, falling to the ground. Griffin lands face down into the mud. I see above us, a dwarf launched off the dragon. Humber flies into the sky using his fancy cowboy boots. I black out and upon waking up I see the dragon prepare and fire an acidic attack which literally melts two eagles and it also hits me, dealing massive damage but I am still fine for now. Jared is close to death from the fall, he is above Toffe. I take a second to look at my marble, it is useless now. Jared when landing rolls at the last second, completely unharmed. Letters appear “What is your name?” towards the dragon. The dragon swings its tail at Humber hitting dealing small minor damage but Humber still falls over, unconscious and close to deaths door. I go to Humber and heal him as much as I can. Kleye as an eagle tries to attack the dragon along with his two other eagles but they do no damage and they attempt to run away. The dragon attacks one of them but it is merely damaged instead of killed. Humber screams “BOOST ME!” The dragon attacks but misses. Toffe flies up closer to the dragon.
157
158I blacked out and upon waking up I see the dragon is taking a good beating so far, losing height and landing on the ground right next to me, Humber and I see Griffin on the dragon still. The dragon swings his tail at Humber and it barely manages to miss “thankfully”. Humber grabs the dragon’s jaw and snaps it back dealing a lot of major damage. I hear the dragon roar a loud thundering roar. I am terrified. The dragon attempts to bite Humber but it misses. The dragon uses a claw attack but it misses but with the other claw it hits dealing decent damage. Humber is barely alive rather than dead thanks to my luck! I black out again and upon waking up I try to attack the dragon which attempts to flee. Griffin hits the dragon dealing 22 damage. The eagles attack the dragon doing minimal damage. Jared attacks the dragon dealing next to no damage at all. I cast aid upon the party. Toffe moves closer to the dragon as Griffin shouts and jumps onto the dragon in attempt to stab. He successfully stabs the dragon but with the final stab missing but still doing some damage. Things where looking up but they aren’t going as good. The eagles attack the dragon but none of them actually hit the thing. The dwarf out in the open declares that he wants to backstab Griffin. Jared shoots an arrow at Griffin but misses although Griffin believes Jared’s deception. After failed attempts to talk to the dragon, he still is trying to convert it to his side of the mutiny. Humber tries to whisper that Humber is on Jared’s side but even though Griffin heard, he seems happy still. I try to attack Jared but I miss.
159
160Kleye and her eagles keep attacking the dragon. Humber screams seemingly to Kleye: “HELP US DEFEAT GRIFFIN!” At this point things are turning for a worst. Toffe shoots his gun at the dragon and it directly hits dealing a decent amount of damage. Griffin attacks the dragon once dealing a decent amount of damage as well. Humber goes up to me and attempts to hit me as during the same time, the dragon attempts to attack Griffin still. As Humber goes up to me and hits me, he deals so much damage I go unconscious. The anger from this betrayal infuriates me. I black out but, in a dream-like state, hear the dragon land and the combat emit. Humber screams random nonsense. The dragon hits me and Humber screams “If he dies we all die!” The dragon digs its claws into me, tearing tendons and flesh until it stops. The dragon hits me again. I feel the life slowly drain from my body before I feel extreme coldness around me. I can see my dead, destroyed body on the ground as my ghost floats into the air, is this really the end of it all? After ALL I have been through? I black out.
161CHAPTER #6
162Somehow, I was revived. I feel different, the fur I had is gone. I appear to be… HUMAN! I lose every feline ability I had but at least I am alive. How will I explain this to my Tabaxi family? I look around and apparently there is a dead dragon. Was there a fight? I black out and wake up in the room with the beds. The same hanging lantern, all is the same as usual. Who was that man from a while ago named Griffin, seemingly a friend of Humber? I see others in the room, but I can’t tell who they are besides Humber. I hear a message in my head that nobody should die. I go to bed and take a nap. I wake up and I stare at the ceiling. I look around and see Humber and Varis along with another Human, full of maps all on him. Humber swings his axe for mere fun. I look at myself more, I pull my shield and still see I am human! This is still bad. I see Varis shadow step behind to the human with the maps. I ask the human for his name, he tells me his name, Hugo the map guide. I tell him my name after he explains his profession. Humber swings his axe some more. I ask Hugo how he even got here, but he has no clue. There is a woven basket in a corner of the room. I go to stick my arm in the basket as Hugo walks away.
163
164I get nothing and Humber sticks his arm in but gets nothing either. I ask Hugo to reach into the basket and pulls out of a ham sandwich. He puts his hand back in and pulls out another kind of sandwich. He puts his hand in the basket and pulls out nothing. Humber sticks his arm in the basket and pulls out oil. He rubs it all over himself. While this goes on, I see Kleye asleep on the floor across the room. Humber continues to hit his axe against the wall. Hugo tells him to stop but Humber just swings his axe on the floor. A wooden door appears on the other side and we go to it. We see a room on the other side, Humber runs in and swings his axe wildly as Hugo goes to talk with him. I go to Kleye to wake her up. Kleye wakes up. I ask Kleye what happened after the forest. He proceeded to tell me the tale of the fight and I see acid burns on everyone else except Hugo. I ask Kleye why am I human, he tells me because I was resurrected after I died. I ask Kleye how I died and she tells me she is sure the dragon killed me.
165
166I tell Kleye that we should go to the room with that iron gate. We walk into the room. The iron gate opens and Hugo tells us the magic word was “Moist” apparently. The door we just went through was gone and Humber runs through the gate. I walk through with everybody with Kleye next to me. I look around and see water, we are on a sand bar. I hate the salty air so much. Humber screams “IT’S A PIRATE!” Apparently, somebody just walked up the sandbar to our party. The man is a half-elf from what I can tell. Hugo says that it is an honor. He tells us that he needs our help. We all engage in conversation.
167
168He man says something about Griffin but I had a lapse in brain judgement. Humber lies about defeating Griffin but it is utterly false. The man tells us we should speak on the ship, but we do not see a ship until one just immediately phases into existence. The ship is absolutely massive, full of cannons pointing at the sandbar. A mass of pirates is on deck. He walks towards the ship and walks on the water due to the magic ring he has. A green scaly arm grabs the man by the leg and pulls him under. I see the man burst from the water with another person. The man says “Fuck you Triften” but all seems lighthearted. I ask Triften what can we do to get to the ship. He doesn’t respond. I just swim to the ladder from the ship as a shipmate yells “SET SAIL BOYS!” Humber looks at me in a sort of confusion, ready to ask something but holds himself back. He knows something, something I don’t. Hugo screams and runs away from Humber at his fasted speed as Humber pulls out a card. Humbers items and his armor all disintegrate from his body. Humber meditates for an hour. Humber gets up and starts to weep robotically. He lost his axe as the pirate guy walks up to him and talks with him. Humber cries that somebody hand him an axe but he seems upset knowing it is just not the same. He asks for a shield but he still doesn’t like it as much.
169
170Hugo says that he is sure we can find a way to enchant the weapon and shield for Humber. It is getting dark and I ask the pirate caption his name. He says his name is Charlie half-blood, the pirate king. He brags about his history and I just look around angrily at the water. Humber asks Charlie if there is anything he can destroy but he tells Humber that he can’t do anything. Humber walks towards me and swings his axe but misses. Hugo and Varis while this go on engage in conversation. I tell Hugo that we are all here for some reason to piss off a god after he asks why are we here. We look down, the boat is hauling massive loads of weight. Someone says there is a mess hall below but I do not move. I hear Hugo from the bottom of the deck scream “NOOOOOoooooo!” as Humber draws cards. He runs up, points at Humber and tells him NO! Humber puts away his deck of cards. Hugo walks down the stairs. Humber says my name as he goes down the stairs, he walks up and shows a pack of cards to me, asking me to draw one. I spit on Humber as he walks down the stairs. Humber swings his axe at me while he is in the hallway. He misses me completely. Charlie comes up and yells at us to quit fighting. He yells to me and Humber we should go to the mess hall, eat things, be happy and get drunk.
171
172Humber goes down the stairs and walks back up to lookout. I go down and to get a few crabs and fish and as I walk down, Hugo walks past me with some food to top deck. I find crabs and fish but as soon as I put them down and look back, they went missing. I grab more crabs and fish and walk abovedeck. Charlie, Humber and Hugo are all in conversation. I believe they are talking something about enchantments. I walk to them as they converse as I continue eating. I see Humber just standing there, doing absolutely nothing. Hugo plans with us saying we should take the cards and toss them. I see Triften just hanging on the side of the boat. Triften does backflip into the water, jumping back up with a fish and he just tosses it back. Triften tells us that there is an unnatural storm brewing and that we are heading to the one in the left. Off in the distance we see clouds forming. “It is very strange for this time of year.” I continue to eat crabs and fish. Humber pulls out salami and gets crackers and cheese from his sandwich. Kleye says Hugo is gay as Varis, drunk to stone starts laughing. I get some salami-cheese-crackers from Hugo. The salami takes smoked, its nice. It is getting late. There ARE some hammocks and beds so I go to one and lay down, falling asleep. I wake up, apparently getting spooned by some guy and I run away as he screams “COME BACK HONEY!” Varis wakes up with a bad hangover. Varis stumbles as I grab him and walk him to the ships nurse. Somebody asks who is it behind the door as I carry Varis. He asks me to set him down in a chair. Varis’s gets a massive erection out of nowhere.  The nurse hits him on the head and Varis seems fine. As the nurse states “Come again!” as we leave the room. I tell Varis we should go to Hugo. We see him put his hands on his head and scream.
173
174He tells us that that is a regional effect, a monster is causing it. He “Seen it in person.” Varis tries to intimidate him for information but Hugo goes to me and tells us that it may be a Kraken. Charlie, nearby starts to talk to us, saying the Kraken is in the other direction. I ask Charlie what are we hunting then, he replies that he has heard of some sort of powerful being but “Your friend over there is completely braindead.” Varis says “Oh that’s just Humber being Humber…” Varis yells “NERD!” right after Hugo began rambling incessantly. We all engage in aggravating conversation. I look for Triften but he apparently is gone, Charlie says he is deep underwater talking to the locals. Varis asks Charlie what are we hunting and he replies “Yea, elementals.” Hugo holds up a map in front of Humber saying “Ha! I put him into a longer coma!” I kick Humber and my foot begins to hurt. Varis talks to Charlie as I begin to pee on Humber. Varis asks somebody where Lars is but someone replies that he is in the nurse’s office, “sleeping” Something crawls up the side of the ship as the other look at the sky. I see three elementals. Two of them water elementals and one air elemental. Hugo casts a lightning bolt upon one of the water elementals. In the midst of the beginning of combat, Humber comes back online. Hugo failed his lightning bolt cast. Kleye throws an ice knife at the water elemental on the right. Humber screams “BOOST ME!”
175
176I see Charlie just stand there, watching us. I am about 20 feet away from the elementals. The water elemental hit with ice can’t move. The other water elemental tries to grabble Kleye, succeeding and preventing her from breathing. The air elemental tries to go to Hugo and successfully hits him, flinging him into the right. I look up and see there are more, very high up. Varis misses his attack and Humber screams is melee attacks word. Obviously, nobody knows. Humber swings his axe in a rage, hitting an elemental dealing massive damage to an elemental. Humber attempts to swing his axe once more but dealing only a mere decent amount of damage. Humber screams “BOOST ME!” Hugo goes to Humber and casts greater invisibility on Humber. He succeeds and Humber is now… invisible in every sense of the word.
177
178Due to my blessing, Kleye “yeeted” herself out of the water elemental but the elemental attacks him as he leaves, dealing a decent amount of damage but not grappling her. The air elemental goes to Humber and fails to land a blow on the first swing and fails on the second. It smashes the deck, enraging Charlie to scream “YOU BITCH!” as he throws a dagger at it. I see Charlie hanging from rope, dropping one. On his bracers a dagger shoots out and slams his bracer into an elemental, making it implode. “Don’t touch my deck!” he yells angrily. An elemental goes to me and misses its first swing and upon its second swing It misses once more as I dodge nimbly. The air elemental flies to Varis, hitting him once and again dealing a sizable amount of damage. As Humber screams “BOOST ME!” I get ready for attack while the air elemental goes to attack Humber who seems to sort of give his position away after he screamed. I black out and upon waking up I see Humber punch an elemental. Varis joins in with his sunblade, dealing a bit amount of damage. Varis shadow steps for a sneak attack. Humber goes to the elemental that is stunned, making a lot of noise and attacks. He manages to land a hit onto the stunned elemental and does not much damage. He swings again and hits, dealing another decent amount of damage. Hugo looks at his map and says some things.
179
180Hugo orders Varis to dodge to the right when the elemental tries to attack him. Hugo pulls out a new map and keeps it in his hand. Kleye throws another ice knife at the other “water-boi” but misses. An elemental attacks me but completely misses. The elemental tried to go into me but failed to do so due to my (sofar) impeccable luck. Varis attacks an elemental with his sunblade but misses. The elemental attacks back dealing a direct blow dealing 15 damage. I attack the nearest elemental dealing a small bit of damage. I attack once more dealing a bit more damage than previously. Humber swings his axe and hits an elemental dealing little damage. Humber autistically screams “BOOST ME!” Hugo runs to Varis through an elemental. He seems to become transparent and sparks surround him, making the elemental he is inside die. After that he turns to normal, taking massive breaths as his skin ignites with cracks and sparks. Kleye uses frostbite on an elemental, hitting it and killing it. Each elemental is dead. Humber pulls out a card from his deck, making him cursed. Charlie says “That was fun and all, but we have to repair my ship.” I look around and see the ship is banged up badly. He says there is a small island nearby, we should stand there for a bit. Humber asks Kleye for a game but he disagrees. Charlie says we should go to the nurse for healing, I follow Varis as he runs to the nurse. We walk in and see the doctor and the nurse. She offers to heal us, casting a spell using a holy symbol. Everyone is healed except me because I am at peak health.
181
182Humber goes to find Lars for a game of gambling. We all go to the island, leaving Humber to play cards with Lars on the ship. From a distance I hear Humber autistically scream, I bet he lost a good bit of the gold from that chest a while back. Varis masturbates furiously and it just goes all over him. I see Humber on the side of the ship, he wants to join us on the island. He jumps onto the island. He punches Hugo in the face but he just lays there. Humber stole some gold from Hugo. I ask Humber what happened to the gold chest and he immediately punches the sand as Lars from the ship screams “Thanks for the gold!” Humber goes into the tent Varis is in and kicks sand. I see Varis get out and go into the ocean covered in sand-layered semen. Humber screams aloud “I AM THE ONE WHO KILLED XYLE!” Hugo looks at the whole party and just says “Ohhhh noooo” taking a deep breath. I can see Hugo is chaotic good, similar to my neutral good alignment but the thing is the whole party is chaotic evil besides us. Varis walks out the ocean with a fish trying to eat his man-parts.
183
184Humber grapples Hugo in attempt to talk. I see Lars on a beach chair, wearing glasses and an umbrella next to him eating popcorn. Humber asks Hugo why he is worried. Hugo raises a finger and gets ready to cast finger-of-death on Humber. He deals 69 damage to Humber as his skin turns colors and sparks. He just hit Humber with massive damage like a hot knife on butter. I see a tear in space behind Humber being summoned. Something bad is about to happen. Very bad. Kleye casts polymorph on Hugo and turns him into a goat. Humber screams not to harm him. The rift casts feeble-mind on Kleye. Hugo seems to be turning on the party from my view. Hugo turned from a goat due to Kleye’s stupidity. He gets up and now ISN’T grappled by Humber. Hugo turns incorporeal and runs into Humber as Lars claps to the ongoing fight. Hugo is trying to kill Humber with all his force. Humber tries to grab Hugo but barely misses. Humber uses Zealous Presence, giving courage to the party with exception from Hugo. I cast aid on everybody including Hugo. Kleye in his autistic state still manages to say “Fucking nerd.” Even with intelligence. Kleye transforms into an earth elemental. Kleye charges Hugo slamming only one hit into Hugo dealing barely much. I see another portal shoot energy. Hugo casts wall of force, making a cube appear around Kleye. Everything is looking very bad. I see bubbles of time come from the ground.
185
186Humber tries to grab Hugo and succeeds. While holding Hugo he runs towards the water under the sea. The ground around Humber grabs him and stuns him. I cast grease on Varis, he still has the fish trying to eat his dick and it continues to dig in. Lars screams out “Charlie come see this!” Out of nowhere I see Jared start sucking Varis’s toes. I see magical words in the air say “No.” The fish does not come off of Varis and Jared tries to take the caption hostage. I see Jared fly off the ship after he tried to take the captain hostage and he took a small bit of damage. Hugo pulls out a map and does something. Varis finally gets the fish off. From the portal, a laser digs straight into Humber, turning him into a zombie. Lars yells “THAT’S A DICK MOVE!” Hugo reforms Kleye to his original mind and gave me command control over Humber. I see the nurse nearby is a man and has been a man the whole time.
187
188Hugo begins to fade away. Humber is now dead but was resurrected to become a half-elf but lost his dick. I remember to the moment I died.
189
190CHAPTER #7
191While all this happens, a sort of dream or flashback flashes in my mind. To temporary to remember but later I wrote this down to catalogue what happened. I wake up and see a barren landscape around me, I do not know where I am but I see someone next to me. I can’t tell who he is and he asks me for my name. I didn’t… know my name… The surroundings of us is just a barren landscape, dead trees and distant far mountains. I ask the other person if he knows what happened before this. He tells me he was last lying on the ground. He has a missing dick off his person with nothing but testicles remaining. He gasps for air autistically. The half-elf starts running, stomping on dead branches. “What the hell is this!” He screams. I walk carefully to the half-elf. I try to pull out some spines off of the persons feet and I succeed. He grabs a stick and I grab one as well as I follow him in walking pace. I see a mass of shambling people as I hear the friend next to me say “Aw fuck.” I can tell they are undead and I tell that to the friend next to me. He walks the direct opposite direction of them. I continue to look around but I see nothing much. I remember seeing at least four of them. He goes to them and goes in rage. He attacks one of them. I grab a bigger stick than my old one, worthy of the name of a club. I detect to see if one of the monsters is good or evil but I can see they are just undead. A form of evil. I walk up to the friend who initiated combat. There are two skeletons with bows, aiming down at us. The other guy says “Fuck.” They got one hit on the other guy, doing only a tiny amount of damage. At the moment there are just two skeletons and two zombies. The zombies walk over to the other guy and they toss their claws at him. He takes a mere one point of damage.
192
193I decided to call the guy “Thunk” as a sort of nickname. Thunk attacks one of the zombies dealing some damage. Apparently, these zombies are pretty pathetic in terms of power. I sneak to the zombie that Thunk attacked and I hit him myself. I smash it to the ground and it stops moving. A zombie hits me and I take 6 damage. Thunk appears to be a formidable foe as he pulverizes a zombie, killing it. I try to hit another zombie but I barely hit it, I attack again but I do next to no damage again anyways. A zombie attacks me doing a small bit of damage. Thunk attacks a skeleton and absolutely destroys it. One zombie left. I attack the last remaining zombie but deal next to no damage. The zombie in fear lets out a ear deafening scream and goes to attack Thunk, dealing a small bit of damage. Thunk retaliates and kills the zombie. Thunk finds some clothes and I find two shorts words, two bows and about twelve arrows along with clothes. I look around and see masses of zombies coming towards us. This time they seem to be Bigger. Better. Faster. Stronger. We see something massive walking over. I tell Thunk that the mass is coming from *that* direction. We take off our shirts, wrap them around out feet and we begin running! I realize that we are in the undead realm. It is where all the undead actually go. I convince Thunk that his name is ACTUALLY Thunk. He thanks me and tells me my name is “Motherfucker” and I believe him. My name is Motherfucker! As we run we see that there are some zombies around that can’t catch up. We get tired and realize something important. I see behind Thunk is a severed hand crawling up him and I tell him. He digs a hole and tries to grab the hand but it lunges at him.
194
195It attacks him and does some damage. He attacks the hand back and destroys it. I tell Thunk that we are probably here because we are dead somewhere. So maybe we are undead HERE, in the shadow realm. He tells me “This is something else…” We both stare at the hand, saying “Ooooh that’s a nice foot.” Thunk just digs a whole big enough for himself. I toss some dirt on Thunk. He asks me to heal him. I heal us both and we feel proud! He gets out of his whole and looks around. Hands start coming out of the hole. I tell Thunk what I see and he goes to attack the zombie and the hands. We begin to move backwards but we still do feel tired. I tell Thunk lets see how long we can hold our breath. He says “Sure” and I hold my breath for five minutes until I gasp for air. Thunk goes to find sticks to make a fire. He makes a great fire out of an old tree. “That’s how we do it baby. So, Mother J. Fucker Jr., who has the first turn.” I tell him I do as he goes to sleep. I look around for a while but I don’t see much besides what we haven’t seen before. The shift goes off without a hitch so far. I go to sleep the fire behind me lights up the area, I see two figures coming close to us. They are running to us. Thunk screams to alarm me they may be dangerous.
196
197I see they are ogre-zombies. Two of them. Thunk swings his shorts word while yelling “I SWING MY AXE!” He seems to be a little stupid but something seems family. The sword goes straight into the gut of the large beast dealing some damage. A monster attacks Thunk. I see each of the creatures has a morning-star club, a major offensive weapon. I start sneaking and go behind one of the monsters and attack, dealing some decent damage. I attack once more and land a massive blow to the monster. He seems to be clinging to life. Thunk attacks the other one, killing it. He grabs the morning star weapon. The last living creature screams a horrible scream. The other one comes back alive. Both of the monsters tried to slam down on me and they both miss. I kick one of the monsters and it dies but just comes back up so I shank it, it goes down but comes back up. “Your useless Mother J. Fucker Jr.” I hear from Thunk. I cast shield of faith on Thunk. He kills one of the monsters seemingly permanently and he then goes for the other. He kills it but through the brush we see something is running after us with the look of a minotaur. The thing runs towards me charging. It gores me in the chest dealing a lot of damage. I get pushed 10 feet away and put onto the ground in prone. One of the ogres that he didn’t kill try to attack but it misses. As the minotaur gets ready to attack I dodge and attack it, casting ensnaring strike and it succeeds, straining the beast. Thunk attacks the zombie ogre, dealing some damage but doesn’t kill it.
198
199The minotaur rips itself out of the vines hurting itself only a tiny bit from the struggles. I attack the monster twice dealing a decent amount of damage and I get ready to dodge. Thunk kills the zombie ogre and runs towards the minotaur, attacking it. He does a good amount of damage. The minotaur gets ready to attack Thunk and directly hits him, dealing a decent amount of damage. I attack the monster and I deal the final killing blow. Thunk takes the great axe. He gives me the morning-star. We take a short rest after the combat. I am hungry. Tell Thunk that if we are hungry we can TRY to eat the dead bodies. There is no water around. Thunk goes to the campfire which is almost out. He throws some sticks in and it begins burning again. I see many miles away there is some smoke coming up. I tell Thunk and we move to the smoke in travels pace. I am exhausted after all this. I can tell we travelled a long way, we seem to have walked up in a field with grass up to our waists. The grass is dead and we continue walking. We see something like a mount of dirt off to the side, about 20 feet away. Thunk starts walking a small trying to sneak around the mound. It doesn’t seem to move at all. He rips some of the dead grass. I tell Thunk we should make our way around the mound slowly.
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201I hear music coming from the house behind the mound, the origin of the smoke apparently is that house right there. I continue sneaking. The grass starts to move, the ground seems to be sort of wavy in small tiny trenches and rolling hills. We sneak and all of a sudden, we see a giant zombie in front of us. Thunk swings his axe at it but it seems to already be dead. I see that there is a zombie in the grass walking towards us. Thunk starts yelling. I tell the zombie to please stay back, we mean no harm. I walk to the shambling zombie. It has a spikey hat. I put out my hand, in ask of a handshake from the zombie.	 The zombie grabs my hand, I take a small bit of damage. It raises its other hand in attempt to slash at my face but it misses. I get my weapon and start shanking the fucker and I disengage. I had a feeling it would be unfriendly. Thunk swings his axe at the zombie dealing a good lot of damage but it is still alive. The hat on top the zombie is apparently glowing. Another zombie walks from the grass, also having a similar glowing hat. I run towards the house as fast as I can, moving about 90 feet. I see Thunk attack one of the zombies, killing it and he attacks the other dealing a good lot of damage. A zombie hits him dealing a good bit of damage. I run and in front of my I see about 20 feet away, a massive skeleton which begins to run towards me. I run 60 feet away from the thing. The skeleton monster tries to attack Thunk and misses once but its second attack hits. It runs after me.
202
203I cast moonbeam at the beast, dealing some damage but I feel like that may not help me that much. I look around desperately, in a mass of fear but I see nothing that can help me! I get ready to attack. Thunk continues to do his thing, killing a zombie. The monster hits me three times, dealing massive damaging blows to me. Before I do anything, I hear a voice say “What is all the commotion!” and a beautiful high-elf steps out of the house. The giant skeleton before it hits me stops and walks away. “He always runs around and kills, I have to keep controlling him.” She invites me inside. Thunk screams “Where are you Mother J. Fucker Jr.” I tell him “OVER HERE!” can he runs over. The high-elf invites Thunk inside. We converse with the high elf, she invites us in and we oblige. She invites us to eat. I can’t wait for some food finally. She finishes cooking and places two plates. The meal is vegetables and pork. She tells us to wash up. Thunk ran to go wash up. I follow suite. I see showers, faucets, toilets and strange things. All of this is something I have never seen. She says “Turn the nozzle and water comes out!” She explains it is simple magic. Thunk takes a shower and I just step in. He yells at me to step out and punches me in the face. Thunk tries to intimidate me but he fails.
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205He tries to hit me again and he fails. I just go to the bathtub. I scream “How does this work again?!” I turn the knob confusingly. Water comes out. I just wash my clothes and myself. After 30 minutes we walk out and feel better. She holds us a new change of clothes. Thunk asks her if she knows who we are but she doesn’t seem to. She tells us her name, it apparently is Kate. I ask if she has any black or red clothes but its all just black. I take some of the clothes. She tells us there are no extra shoes. We all engage in conversation about our predicament. I ask how she got here and she told me that her sister helped her teleport here. She tells us that we might be on the verge of death and life. She tries to touch one of us and her hand goes through. “You aren’t dead but aren’t alive really either.” I tell her we know nothing about our pasts. Thunk asks if there is a way to get us out and she tells us she can try to contact her sister and it will be a pain. Because “Most of my stuff has been stolen in the night, including the scroll to message my sister.” I tell her we can help out but we need SOME information. She tells us she is not in hiding but is anti-social and her family sort of split up. She tells us she is a master at necromancy.
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207She tells us there a powerful energy around but can’t be bothered to deal with it herself. I tell her we need rest. I sleep on the couch and Thunk sleeps on the floor. We wake up, me and Thunk tell Kate that we do not feel right in our bodies. We ask her why and she tells us that there is a magical spell that changes out bodies after death. We probably may have died but are not dead. We all continue in conversation about souls, bodies and reincarnation. We start to talk about hunting the energy but she tells us the skeleton giant is gone and unable to help us. She tells us there is a shack in the backyard with gear we can use though. I go to the shack. I find a rapier, four shields, some armor and other things. I take the rapier, a shield and the studded armor. I tried to get Thunk to take something but he refuses. We move out to make a journey, trying to find that magical energy. I see Kate hold out her hands, bones erupt from the ground and attaching to each other. Three skeleton horses appear in front of us. We get on the “horses” and begin travel.
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209“We are getting closer.” Kate says while we ride. I ready my weapon. We are starting to arrive up to a castle. We appear next to the castle gates, they are closed. Kate states “That wasn’t closed before…” Thunk grabs the gate, lifting it a small bit. We walk in and Thunk follows suite. I see a grand staircase coming up from the floor. If there is a creature then it has to be there, and I tell so to the party. We see a big door and we walk in. The room is dark and the door behind us closes naturally without problem. Thunk swings his axe and Kate tells him not to. We see this room is not THAT big. We see a skeleton sitting on the other side of the throne room, its hand holding up one of its three heads. One has a crown, one has a top hat and the other has an eyepatch. “That’s a skull lord!” Kate says aloud. Thunk trims his hat and walks proudly towards the thing. One of its mouths opens up and asks what he is doing here. “We are here to negotiate, you see.” “What could you negotiate with me.” Thunk continues to be an idiot. He asks the monster if he want to try on a hat but it tells him to get out. I ask if it can help us just leave the underworld.
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211A beam shoots out from the things finger and it hits Thunk, dealing a lot of damage. It screams “BEGONE!” This thing does not want us here obviously. I cast shield of faith on our good friend Kate as five skeletons emerge from the ground. I am getting ready to attack. The skull lord casts fear on Thunk. It stands up, points its hand and yells “FIRE!”, commanding the skeletons to shoot arrows. They do so, aiming toward Thunk. The wizard does something and I feel suicidal enough to move closer to the grave lord. More skeletons emerge from the ground and Thunk dashes towards the skull lord. Three rays emerge from the mouths of the skulls, all aimed towards Thunk. Kate uses some sort ability as the fight continues.
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213I see every zombie and summoned skeleton just die instantly. The skull lord seems to take some damage but still seems… fine. It says something towards Kate. I look around and see the room is useless, the carpets are used up. The windows are broken and the paintings are useless. There is nothing here but the throne and the threat I am to face. I sprint towards the skull lord with suicidal thoughts. Things happen apparently and the skull lord prepares an attack. The skull lord takes a cone of skulls, making me and Thunk take a good lot of damage. Thunk screams “PoOsiE!!!” as it disengages from the immediate fight. Kate does something, I wasn’t paying attention. 7 Skeletons emerge from the ground. I cast moonbeam at the skull lord, dealing only a small bit of damage. Apparently, I feel invigorated to keep fight, I have seemingly never felt this urge to attack more ferociously than before. Thunk does something. The skull lord moves out of the moonbeams path. The skull lord casts finger of death in attempt to try and kill Thunk with it. It successfully HITS Thunk with the finger of death but the damage hopefully is not that severe. 5 More skeletons emerge from the ground, making 10 skeletons in the field in total.
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215I angrily shank the nearest skeleton to me, dealing a little damage. I shank it again and it does more damage but the skeleton remains. Thunk in the middle of combat falls asleep and does nothing. The skull lord casts dart aimlessly with each one hitting me. The skull lord casts some sort of fists in the air but they all miss me as I dodge each of them with impeccable agility. Kate heals me back up to full health. I see a crown in the crowd. I jump onto a skeleton and try to jump on their heads, moving towards the lord. Two skeletons hit me as I run, but I take next to nothing. I will finish this. I jump next to the skull lord and shank the fucker, dealing a lot of damage. Two skeletons attack me and I take 23 damage. Skeletons surround me. Two skeletons hit me to my side. I can barely see Kate kick Thunk awake. I Disengage from the skeleton crowd and I cast aid upon the party. All of a sudden, I realize I have a bow and some arrows from when I previous took them in that shack.
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217Thunk gets attacked by the mass of skeletons. I see one skeleton swing at him but miss. Others knocking arrows into their bows and try to shoot me. None of them hit me thankfully. They aim at Thunk and two arrows manage to hit him but Thunk still seems unwavered by their pathetic attacks. We might just win this… at least I hope so. The grave lord teleported away and all the skeletons became easier to fight. Kate starts looking around for anything that would hold a scroll. She finds a chest behind the throne. She asks who can pick locks. I zoom across to the chest and try to pick the lock. I open the chest and see a scroll, some money and not much else. I grab some gold, about 20 pieces. I hand the gold pieces to Kate since it is hers. She says she will now contact her sister to open a portal for us. She opens the scroll and goes in a trance. “She says ok, but it won’t be easy.” We see a portal open in front of us. She puts our souls back into our bodies using arcane words.
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219I look around me, we are still our “new” reincarnated races after we died. I am still a human. I look around. I do not remember anything of what just happened… Humber seems to know something. I ask Humber what is going on. Humber seems to have a new ring. He screams “Ah ha!” He is just being weird as normal.
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222
223CHAPTER #8
224Humber immediately falls backwards and passes out. Lars picks up Humber and he is brought beneath deck of the ship. I just walk with Lars. I look around and noticed Varis isn’t here… maybe Hugo took him? I just look away for a single second. All of a sudden on the ship I see something appear. The thing appearing before me looks like a human man, rather tall with dark hair and studded armor. He has two rapiers to his sides, looks pretty proud of himself. He awkwardly says “hi”. The pirates look at him and just continue working, taking away their glances back to work. He walks around. I ask him his name as I go up to him. He tells me his name is “Aroenus Darlos” but I will just call him Darlos for the sake of memory. I go below deck to check Humber. He still seems pretty tired. I walk out and Humber after a while comes out. He goes top deck. I follow after and see Humber autistically swing his axe as he walks to Darlos. Humber manages to miss but just barely. Darlos slaps Humber.
225
226Humber looks at him in fury, trying to swing his axe but he misses completely. Charlie says “You better leave my ship alone.” to Darlos and Humber. Humber asks Charlie who Darlos is. They engage in conversation. I go to Charlie and ask what is next. Humber goes below deck and does whatever he does. I hear some axe swinging below, doesn’t sound good. Charlie tells me we are still chasing the store but we are still losing distance. I ask Charlie if there is a way to make us move any faster but he tells me the ships repairman is busy with something else but he is trying. I am tired so I go look for an empty unused bed. I find one and I sleep for a while. I am woken up to the sound of a loud slam into the floor. Cans fall, a cat screech. What the fuck? EVERYONE on the whole deck wakes up to this idiot tripping and causing so much chaos. Darlos apologizes saying, “Sorry!” I point to a spare bed telling Darlos he can sleep there.
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228I tell him not to trip again, followed by Darlos telling me he will try not to. As he goes to put up his stuff in the nearby chest, I warn him not to because it can be stolen. We all fall asleep and we wake up the next morning. I see Humber go somewhere as I walk out of the room. I wake up Darlos, making a loud “PSST!” which accidentally tosses some spit in his face. He wakes up in a violent twist, swinging his arms but he misses. I tell him my name is Xyle. I begin to walk to the kitchen, motioning for Darlos to join me. He says “Yea I am actually pretty hungry.” We walk and see Humber eating by himself at table. I see lots of different foods. As Humber yells “Hey Triften!” and engages in conversation with him. I walk over to get some food. I yell to Triften, asking for fish and crabs but he prefers to catch them fresh. There is something wrong because he tells me there aren’t any around.
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230Darlos wraps some eel around his fire enchanted rapier. A pirate starts muttering angrily and just walks back into the kitchen. Darlos eats some of the cooked rapier. He pulls out some intestines out of his mouth and eats it again. I get me some bread and cheese. I sit next to Humber and continue eating. He gets up to go talk to Charlie. They engage in conversation as I wolf down food until I hear someone top deck scream “ENEMY FLEET AHEAD!” I look out a port window and see ships. “Battle stations!” I go to top deck, bringing my food with me. I see Humber sit on the edge of the ship and see him shit himself. Someone says something about Triften and I go to see whirlpools and clouds engulf two ships, sinking them. The other ships start firing cannons. A bunch of fish-people jump on deck. A half-orc jumps with them.
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232I see a battle coming. I sense it. Charlie says “Ah Blackbrine! So good to see you!” as Humber, under his breath says “I am calling him Black Brian…” Charlie walks up in a gleeful motion and immediately pulls out his weapon, but misses. Blackbrine tries to trip him but fails to do so. Charlie grabs his weapon and stabs Blackbrine dealing a lot of damage seemingly but Blackbrine does not flinch in the slightest. I black out and upon waking up I see Blackbrine try to stab somebody. I grab my Rapier. I see Charlie get absolutely scorched by fire and he shrugs it off. “Don’t worry, I can handle him.” I prepare to attack. Darlos walks to me and tries to grab me but he misses completely. Darlos grabs one of his rapiers seemingly dipped in poison and shanks a fish person. He tries to shank again and hits once more. He grabs his rapier enchanted with fire and tries to stab again but he misses.
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234Humber goes in a rage and attacks the fish person who is covered in Humber’s feces. But in the swing the fish person grabs his arm fiercely. He screams “Xyle, stop being useless you fuck!” I look to the side and see the other boat stopped moving. The fish people hold their harpoons, as expected this is going to be a bad looking fight. A harpoon flies to Darlos but thankfully be barely manages to escape before slapping a hand away from him, keeping him from being grappled. One of the mermen tries to bite, scratch and tear at Humber but it fails. The merman holding Humber walks to the edge of the ship. The merman throws Humber to the waters below as Humber screams “Help me I’m drowning I am drowning!” One of the mermen tries to throw a harpoon at me but misses. I see Blackbrine and Charlie fight to the death. Things keep going on, all of this seems vaguely familiar as Charlie seems to be losing the fight. I get close to Blackbrine and start to experience a mass of fear. I try to step back but I feel paralyzed out of the mass of fear. Darlos bolts to the side of the ship, running past me. He seems to almost reach to the other side of the ship.
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236I see a merman struggle with Humber underwater along with others striking him. Some fish people start attacking me throwing harpoons. A harpoon sinks into my side, pulling me to them by the attached chain. A fish man I see goes in front of Darlos and throws a harpoon but misses. Another fishman jumps into the water, probably going to go attack Humber. I get loose from the chain and cast moonbeam, dealing pitiful damage. Darlos does an “EPIC” dive off the ship and as he jumps, one of the enemy’s slashes at his back. I see him swim down to Humber, barely reaching him. This whole fight seems to be going pretty bad so far. One more fish man jumps off the edge as all this goes on.  The other two pull out their harpoons but each one misses as I do a backflip. They backup to the railing. I go to one of them, shanking it with divine smite dealing a mass of damage. I shank it once more, dealing some more damage.
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238I see Humber and Darlos emerge on the surface, they both seem pretty shook up. Darlos grabs Humber and carries him on the side of the ship. A fishman grabs on to me and jumps into the water. Many of the creatures try to attack me but all of them miss besides one. I manage to break free and go back up into the ship. THAT… was a close one. I went through a hole in the ship, I am inside at the moment. I look around hastily, going to the nurse’s office. Humber screams “Wait a second!” I stop where I am and look around. Probably Humber just doing something. I get to the nurse’s office and walk in. I see her healing others and she tells me there is nothing I can have. She tells me she does NOT need help but I cast aid upon everybody in the room and I am kicked out. I try to sneak to the top deck although I probably am not doing a good job at it. Almost at the top I see Lars and everybody else still going about the battle. Lars is standing over the body of Charlie in a fighting stance. I see Lars is attacking very fiercely. Blackbrine looks dazed.
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240Blackbrine says aloud “I thought Charlie was the only one who was supposed to be here!” He tries to grab Lars but just can’t get a grip. I hear Humber yell to Charlie but no reply. I still continue to sneak to top deck. Lars is beating the snot out of Blackbrine. He looks around and jumps off the side of the ship. Humber just stands there. Lars picks up Charlie’s body and goes below deck. I follow Lars as I hear Humber and Darlos argue. Lars gives Charlie to the nurse and says “Look over there!” I look and upon looking back, he vanishes. I know he is still around but just teleported. I yell aloud “OHHH I KNOW THAT ONE!” Humber goes to the eating place. There is a dead body ALL over the food. Humber goes to Darlos and asks for the ring back. Darlos says “NAO!” Humber tries to intimidate but fails to do so. “The power of the ring still calls to me!” so says Darlos. Humber swings his axe, chopping Darlos’s finger off. Humber puts on the ring and sticks the finger up his ass. Darlos reached up there and grabbed his finger, running to the nurse’s office. I just burst into maniacal laughing down the hallway.
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242After a minute of laughing I hear Lars in the cafeteria. He says “MIDDAY DRINKING CONTEST! THE PRIZE TO THE WINNER IS 200 GOLD AND A MAGICAL RING I FOUND!” He holds up a silver ring. Humber goes to look at the ring. I sign up. We could win back our gold or at least some of it. First round is Humber and some other pirate. Humber goes in a rage as they start drinking each other down. They grab another. They grab another once more and Humber wins this match, feeling a little tipsy. Me and one other drink. We grab one more. I grab one more and start feeling not so good. I grab another and feel a bit bad. I grab another and feel fine. I gab one more drink and on the first sip, me and the other contestant pass out at the same exact time. I black out.
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244I vaguely hear something as I am out, something about “bAUrlows”. Probably referring to Darlos. Then it is followed by a massive thud, which is then followed by a few more thuds. I finally wake up to see Darlos walk to a room holding a bag. I look in my bag and I see something new… a ring. A grayish metal with a purple gem. I slap that sucker on a finger. All of a sudden, I remember all of the things that happened to me in the shadow realm! I immediately pass out due to the truck load of memories coming back. I wake up, feeling less drunk and with my new memories. I go to the room Darlos is in and I knock politely. He seems to be asleep… I try to pick the lock and I succeed. I look around and I see Darlos sleeping. I look around and see a bag of gold. Darlos wakes up. I tell him I am here to sleep. I hear some groaning across the doorway and I see Humber walk in. Humber drops his ring into the bag. I used slight of hand to get some gold and a ring. I look at the ring and I put it in my bag. Humber says “Carlods, I dropped my ring in the bag.”
245Humber continues to dig around but he seems to be unable to find the ring. I jump onto a bed and take a long rest. Darlos yells “God dammit!” and as well as Humber wake up. Humber immediately passes out on the floor. Darlos digs around the bag and closes it. I converse with Darlos and we agree to get something to drink. We see various drinks and I get chocolate milk. I am surprised how they even got chocolate milk on a ship but o well. As we walk back into the room, Humber finally wakes up once the door is shut. “Augh I feel like I am about to die.” “Have you found my ring cArLOS?” Humber and Darlos engage in conversation about the ring and the gold bag. I tell Humber we should go below deck. Darlos asks Humber about the ring and Humber just tells him it is just simply Necrotic resistance. “We should definitely get that.” I go with Humber to below deck. Lars is nowhere to be seen as Humber asks for some water. Darlos follows us to the cafeteria. We ask about Triften and are told to check the deck. I tell Darlos to go up deck and I will stay with the drunkard.
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247I hear some yelling above deck about me and Humber. I lean over to Humber and tell him I have his ring and I promptly give it to him. He asks me to hand over a chicken wing and I hand a slab of pork to him that tastes… like chicken. I see Humber spread his cheeks and grabs his deck of cards. He gives his ring temporarily to me, telling me to give it back in a minute. He pulls a card and a magical cloak instantly appears. He also levels up. Just at this moment I black out, but more severe, as if the laws of reality fuzzed. Upon waking up, it seems no time has passed. A mass of web is shot towards Darlos, making it impossible for him to move. It appears that Humber has in possession, a cloak of webbing. He grabs his axe to slowly cut the web off of Darlos. He wills the rest to go away and it goes away. He yells “THE WEB COMES OUT OF MY ASS! I FEEL RENEWED!” Humber without using his hands, just his feet walks onto the wall. I tell Darlos that we are stuck in this arena thing. We just have to find a way out.
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249CHAPTER #9
250I start helping out with repairs until I realize we left two people on the island. I go to the helm and tell Lars we need to go back to the island and get Varis, the guy who nutted into the fish a while ago. Lars says “Ohhhh yea! Ill be back as he orders a pirate to take helm.” Around the time the whole ship started having a nice feast, many got pork and others got various different kinds of foods. I hope we get to Varis soon. Also, just remembered we left Kleye behind too… I look around as I go to the crow’s nest, seeing a lot of water.
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252After a while we all go for a snooze due to it starting to be late. We go to sleep and dawn slowly rises. I go to the side of the ship yawning and I see Darlos next to me, drenched in water. While I am in the crows nest I see Varis climb up onto the ship holding an unconscious Kleye. I jump down and slam into the floor in front of Varis, passing out. I wake up four hours later, yelling “VARIS, WE NEED TO TAKE KLEYE TO THE… Varis?” And Varis is nowhere around me. I get up and go to Darlos, telling him we can stop looking for Varis. He asks who Varis is, I guess he never met him. I tell him who he is and explain to him about Kleye and Varis. And that Kleye was a wood elf. He asks me to take him to Varis and Kleye but I have no clue where they are. I tell him we should go to the mess hall so we go there. I see Varis drinking along with crabs and various other foods. Darlos yells for Varis and he yells back “Who is asking!” He waves Darlos over. Darlos and Varis engage in and I join in, I ask Varis how was his trip here. He pulls out a shark tooth and I ask, he got attacked by sharks he tells me. We all continue to converse for a while.
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254I ask Varis where is Kleye, he tells me the medical bay and that we should get over there. I go to the medical bay to look for Kleye. I open the door and see the nurse who asks why we are back. I tell her we are here for Kleye which we are replied with room number four and a half. We realize after walking it was the first room. We walk in and I see Kleye in a bed. Darlos asks “Is this Kleye?” I see on the other side of the room is Humber. Darlos runs to Humber, trying to take him up. He grabs his arm and swings it into Humber’s face with all his fury, hitting Humber but it’s like he hit a rock, nothing happened! 
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256Varis asks who he is and I tell him he died and got resurrected as what he is now. Darlos just remembered something, he checks his bag of gold and rushes out of the room. Varis asks me if I want to go with him to get a drink or a bite to eat. I tell him “Sure, I can go for a drink.” I go with him to the mess hall. We see a pie eating contest going on. I see eating are three pirate grunts scoffing down food. Darlos runs up next to us. I look around for fish pies. I see Darlos eat almost every pie in front of him, I join in on the fish pie eating. After a bit I start feeling a little queasy… One of the grunts starts to choke a small bit.
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258After a while of pie eating, everyone seems to start feeling sick, including me. The grunt goes down and I follow it. After a bit of struggle, I finally get up. I look around for Varis and I see him locked out of the medical bay. I ask how Kleye and Humber are. I go in the room to check on Humber and see Kleye laying down, and Humber has a blanket on top of him. Kleye also has her mouth open. I go to Humber to check on him. I look at Kleye and notice something wrong is going on. I know something happened but can’t tell who did it and what happened. As Darlos walks in, I tell him something happened here. I go to look for Varis. I look around with Darlos following me and see Varis locked up in a cell. I ask Varis what happened in the room, he tells me that all he did was put up a blanket on Humber. Darlos begins talking with him. Locks where picked and me along with Darlos go to find Lars. We find him in the medical bay.
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260While the others go get drinks, I go to find a bed to take a long rest to heal my scratches. I wake up to a scream. I run around trying to find Darlos. I walk in to the room with Varis who is at the doorway, Darlos is in the bed with Kleye.
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262He gets out of the bed, not wearing any bottom clothes as Varis tackles Darlos. Varis accuses Darlos of sleeping without consent next to Kleye. Darlos screams “I AM INNOCENT MAN!” as Varis asks me to bring Darlos to the brig. I see Darlos’s pants are with Humber. I grab one of Darlos’s arms and me along with Varis drag him to the brig. We toss him in and I follow Varis wherever he goes. As we walk away, I see Darlos shove his hand up his rear and let out a terrible scream. We go to Humber and Varis inspects him. I inspect Kleye and see something hilarious. As I laugh hysterically I grab his items and hand them to Darlos. I go to Darlos and let him go, I whisper something quietly to him. We go find Charlie and as we walk past, I see Humber stick a tentacle rod up his rear.
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264I put my hand on Darlos’s shoulder and tell him... “I am sorry for you”. We all go to take long rests and are woken up from a loud crack of thunder. I go to the mess hall and am given a raw fish which I put in my pack. We go abovedeck and see we are in a massive storm. Varis starts drinking some whiskey and offers some to Humber. I look to the side and see Triften yelling “WELL I CAN’T DO MUCH!” I see Varis just leap forward and run straight back to me. I start to see a massive water dragon elemental whirlwind thing. Humber goes to a cannon, arming it and I follow suite, trying to get to a cannon on my own. Varis runs to a cannon as well, firing a shot. Everyone does a thing and the elemental tosses a powerful attack, stunning some of the party. Triften casted “fly” on Lars. Lars smashes his fists into the elemental, dealing quite a bit of damage.
265
266The tempest elemental uses some sort of ability which flung some of the party including me to the other side of the ship, knocking us including me prone so in this moment I decided to play dead, doing a decent job at it. The tempest does more attacks. I get up to fire the cannon and upon firing it, it nearly hits Lars instead before he catches the cannon ball and tosses it aside. The elemental releases an attack, tossing me and Varis off the side of the ship. I hear more commotion abovedeck. I start swimming towards the ship as much as I can. I get onto the ship, nearing the top. I can still see a mess of combat above. I see Triften barely get over the side of the ship. I climb up to the side of the ship and the element tosses an attack, stunning me and throwing me off the side of the ship again. I use all my energy to barely get onto the ship. I climb upon the ship and I dash next to Humber who is using the tentacle rod on himself. The elemental releases an attack, forcing some of the party into the ship including me, forcing me to take a blow to the back as I hit a wall. I see Humber and Kleye engage in “conversation” as I cast aid upon all three of us. I go to run outside to abovedeck. I look around and see the monster. I go to the other side of the ship and see the monster is attacking something in the water.
267
268I run to the below-deck and tell everybody that we need to help Varis. I see the elemental fall, it is dead. Varis is still below the waters, desperately needing help. I saw Triften jump down into the water. While Triften was getting Varis, Lars flies down and asks what the commotion is. People have been trying to get the tentacle rod out of Humber. Humber tells Lars no, he sucks. Lars punches the snot out of Humber.
269
270I ask where is Varis and as I say that, I see Varis be flung over onto the deck. Lars blindfolds Varis and tells him to “Reach in” and grab it. In this case, he wants Varis to reach into Humber and grab the tentacle rod. I try to grab onto Varis and help tug. Varis RIPS the tentacle rod out of Humber, Humber moans and Varis takes off the blindfold, completely shocked at what had just happened. I see Humber pulls out a deck of cards, Varis tries to knock it out of his hands but fails. Humber pulls out a card and his intelligence was severely lowered. Kleye transforms Humber into a goat and tosses him off the boat.
271
272I see Humber over 80 feet away and I go to the ship helmsman to try and convince him to turn us around to get the goat but he was not convinced. I was thinking of tossing a rock but I can see its too far now. I decided to take a long rest. We wake up into the stone room, the one with the lantern.
273I look around and I don’t see Humber.
274CHAPTER #10
275I feel the room is cold now. I realize I am still in this stupid arena. I still see someone on the opposite side of the room laying on the floor along with the others. Someone who does not seem familiar. I smell something not great, it makes me long for that sea breeze as an alternative.
276
277I hunch over after a bad sleep. I see a female on the other side of the room. Reddish skin and an evil look on her. I see Varis meditating and the woven basket ten feet away from me. The lantern still hangs. I get up and go to Varis. He says “What up homie.” I ask Varis where Humber went, even if I knew. I tell him Humber drowned and what happened at one point. I tell him we should remember Humber well as I hand him a gold piece.
278
279Varis runs to some part of the room and grabs some Vials. The female creature packs golf and treasure into her bag from a brown pouch. I go to grab the Lantern. I pull with all my might and take some dust off the lantern.	The lantern fell. I grab it and hold on to it. The chain onto the lantern fizzes out of existence. The lantern is small, lit by a ball of small bits of fire. With all the clanking, someone wakes up.
280
281I see the gnomish person waking in robes, looking handsome but on my level. I see the woman looks around, I realize she is a Tiefling with horns albeit small with eyes similar to a cat. I look around and see nothing. He asks us who we are. Varis says he is black and I say hello. He asks where are we and I tell him an arena, probably because he did something to anger a god. “It wasn’t the drugs?!” he says immediately we tell him. The gnome looks at the Tiefling, winks and asks “How are ya, beautiful?”
282
283I look around and see a door on one of the walls. I go to the door as I hold the lantern, I start to feel tired, I feel it is getting HOT. I toss it to Varis and it stops in midair halfway. I walk back and the lantern follows me. I am surprised but I continue through the door. I see the gnome look at me. He asks where we are going, it seems we have been doing this for a while and immediately hits on the Tiefling. I ask her for her name, she tells me Diane. I turn to the gnome and ask his name. He tells me “I was looking at Diane but oh yes, my name is Richard Richie Richardson Dicky Doo” or something like that. I am just going to call him “Dick”.
284
285I see the room behind us has nothing much in it but there is one left. Somebody I do not know. The person seems human. I walk up to him as he stirs awake. I ask the new person for his name. Varis appears from the shadows.
286
287I blacked out and see a few people above me as I wake. I see the human say his name is Avi, slaps his belly and blabber about cannons. Others in the party seem uninterested. He offers Dick a mug of alcohol of some kind and Dick immediately drinks it happily. Diane asks me to go into the room, I walk in with them. The doors close and shut with a loud thud. I then hear clicking of chains and gears, gates begin to rise. The gate opens and I see a grey shimmering vale.
288
289I look at the Vale and see that it is a teleportation thing, something strange on dimensions and travel. Dick runs through and I follow suite with Varis on my tail. Avi follows and I see rocky surroundings on the other side of the vale. I see a vast distance and glowing moss ahead. I say “I do not see anything, where are we?” Then I realize we are on a small ledge. Avi puts on goggles and light begins to emit from there. From what I can tell, this place may be the under-dark. Avi agrees. Dick says he does not like this place. I can see next to us is where a cavern should be, but only filled to top with rubble and broken stone. I also see shuttering movement on the wall, going behind a rock behind us. I tell Avi to look around, something is wrong.
290
291Avi snaps his fingers then reaches into his bag, pulling you a grappling hook. I tell him we need to just get down. I try to help tie the knot but Avi did a better job. He goes to climb down and he yells “ONE AT A TIME!” I climb down and the rope still buckles but holds. I see Avi down below and Diane pick Dick up as he “hits” on her. I continue to slide down and we talk to Avi. He tells us that sign warns of mind-flayers, but it is old. I know what they do. Avi explains about what they do. I see right next to the sign is a crudely drawn picture of a mind-flayer. I tell them we should just leave this area, maybe find a town.
292
293We all argue and everyone else seems to want to stick around. Someone from the rock’s steps out, telling us to not go to the fucking mind-flayer camp. An odd man, with fine clothing and a cross bow. Dick asks his name as I tell the others he is right. He tells us his name is Lucien, a former leader of a party. They were going to go wreck the camp but they just blew the cave, he checks to make sure they do not come around. Dick pulls out a clockwork toy, it walks around. Avi looks through his pockets and pulls out a deck of playing cards.
294
295I tell them we should just leave and find a town. Avi nods and says we should walk to the camp. Lucien waves his fingers to a nearby town. He says there is tons of rubble blocking both of the sides. Almost all of agree we should go to the town. Diane slaps Dick after he tries to flirt with her. “No flirting unless its coming from me!” she says to Dick. Lucien keeps pointing to the town as Diane, Dick, Varis and I all talk in esteemed conversation. We walk to town as Dick snaps his fingers, forming a helmet upon his head. The helmet looks very similar to some body part but I will not bother writing it down.
296
297I walk forward and along the way. I see a huge boulder between us and the town. There is a small gravel pathway around the rock. I go around the rock, following the path. Dick transforms into a bat. Avi looks around in disappointment. Me and Avi talk about our origins as Dick flies quietly away. I see Avi hold out a broom, sit on it and fly up and then fly down. As we continue walking past the boulder, I see Avi and Dick run to us with someone behind them. Avi tells us as he wraps his arm around “Ethan” and tells us we need to escort him to town.
298
299I agreed with that. We keep walking and we get up to the gate. All of it made out of black iron. The signs around say “Welcome to deep-town, we welcome all!” Many of the signs have graffiti under them, saying residents may not welcome. Avi knocks on the gate and someone above peers over. He yells for them to open the gates. I ask for him to let us in. He asks where we went in by and he opens the gate, ignoring what we say. We walk in. He tells us if we want a guide, we can use the aid the help of a deep gnome child who walks over.
300
301His name, Grimwald. Avi asks Ethan who we should be looking for, they huddle close and whisper things. Avi tells us we need to find somebody. Grimwald tells us the hammer or somebody is somewhere over “there”. He tells us the directions of the town. As Avi and Ethan walk along with Dick somewhere in town. I go to find the blacksmith and walk over a manhole with a cross. Avi talks to the guy hammering away, the guy says his name is “Horris”. Avi presents Ethan and Horris runs at the highest feet he could.
302
303Horris trips over an anvil and falls down with a broken ankle. Dick casts mending on his bones as Horris screams in pain, asking for his help. Avi gives Horris a drink. I ask Ethan “What is going on?” He looks at me and then looks away, not saying a word. Horris yells “I HAVE A BUNCH OF GNOMES IN MY BASEMENT MAKING ALL THE PRODUCTS!” Horris gets up, still yelling in pain as Avi says Horris is an idiot. A goblin walks out and Horris yells “WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF MY BASEMENT!” He turns to Avi and challenges him in smithing. Avi holds up a coin and says something.
304
305A small remote falls, Horris presses a button and the whole smithy expands outward. Avi takes his count and goes to work. I ask Horris if he can create me a night-vision contact lens. He tells me Madame can help me with that. I blacked out and upon waking up, I see Horris made a great, short-sword and Dick smashed one of his fingers with a hammer. Grimwald talks and walks with Dick as I leave Varis to meditate. I walk to Madame’s shop. I go in and the inside looks bigger than the outside. I see Madame Malaria behind the counter. I tell her what I am looking for as she greets us. I ask her if I can look and she tells us its that tag. A hand appears and brings the tag over to her. She tells us she has glasses, and goggles of night. She tells us how much it costs, 2000 gold per lens. I cringe at the cost as Avi cringes at me. Avi talks with her about pricing and items. I look around… bored by their conversation. I see a small door flap open, a metal spider walks in. She pulls out various items and talks with him.
306
307She shows him a defender sword. After a fucking hour, they both tell each other their names and Avi buys a deck of something or other. She walks off into the backroom and comes out with the deck of cards, also saying she can gift-wrap it for free. Diane asks about the thing before, Madame tells her it is a ring of conjuring elementals. I hate being poor. I pull Avi aside and tell him about my situation about contact lenses. Avi takes my lamp, gives it to her and tells her we should get goggles for this lamp. She grabs the lamp and tells us the last person to touch it, will have it hover around them. She pulls out a pair of goggles. I ask Avi to check the goggles to make sure they are alright. He says there may be no problem. I ask her and she says they are alright. I pull Avi aside, thanking him and telling him I will not forget this.
308
309I see Dick walk up to us. The gnome child besides him looks…. Disturbed. He asks us what we have been doing and Avi tells Madame not to sell Dick ANYTHING. We walk out and the door behind us closes. I ask Grimwald how things have been. He tells me Mr. Dick made him gay. Diane, overhearing the conversation yells “WHAT?!”
310
311I see Varis join up with us. Avi asks the kid about any gladiator “things” around. He tells Avi there is one every once in a while. Diane asks the kid about any small jobs she can do for money. I look around and I do not see Ethan. I ask Avi about Ethan and he tells me that he will explain it later. Me and Varis join Avi as we travel to some college. Dick transforms himself into an elemental and he reaches the magic academy. I reach it as well and head towards the administration office in hopes of finding a way to transform myself back to my original race. I see a receptionist. He tells me I can go into the office as I see the administrator. She asks what I want and I request a transformation back into my original race. She says no.
312
313I walk back to Avi and Dick. I realize something shatters and see the barricades collapse. A tiger-person appears with backwards hands appears from the kid, Avi looks very friendly to him. I black out and upon waking up, I can tell we are in the midst of battle. I prepare to attack. Dick casts banishment on the tiger person then takes cover behind somebody. Varis runs to Avi and punches him, releasing Avi out of his spell. Avi pulls out a flask. I walk away into a nearby room and I see something inside of it. It looks like a bug thing so I just do not walk in the room and instead cast aid upon the party. I see somebody run into the administration building. I black out again.
314
315Upon waking up, I see Avi walk into the building. The head mistress tells Avi not to kill the demon thing she calls “Bill”. Dick talks to his god and asks about 5 questions. I look in the room and I see inside the room an ice devil, holding a spear. I run to the demon and shank it, dealing some damage but it does not flinch. I stab it once more with a divine smite. I then dodge, getting ready for another attack. The demon pulls out its weapon, stabbing it at me, I feel the icy cold pain. I feel a painful burn but I manage to dodge a stab. It swings its tail at me, barely missing. Diane sneaks and stabs the creature with claws.
316
317We are going to try and wipe this thing off the face of the world. After everyone attacks, I unleash my fury. I casted ensnaring strike upon the demon, trapping it in vines. Not long after it breaks free and goes to attack Diane. All of us continue to fight as I strike the beast again. I strike and strike once more. Mid combat, I black out. We all continue in the fight as Diane is starting to look a little worn for wear.
318
319She disengages from combat. I shank the monster and miss with my second attack sure to hit, dealing some damage. The demon attacks Varis, dealing vicious damage. The demon casts an ice wall to the door, trapping us in with it. The whole room gets cold. Avi gets to the doorway of the building. Varis is pushed down into an unconscious state, about to die. Varis’s body was launched into the demon, right next to Diane. I see a violent rainbow shoot out of Avi’s gun, poking a hole in the ice wall.
320
321I run to Varis and use Lay on Hands, healing him back from the brink of death. I pick him up. The devil swings its spear at me, missing. It swings at Varis and misses. Diane attacks, slashing the foe with strength. She then disengages and Varis runs away. Avi shatters the cold, frozen wall. He pulls out a fork and starts to eat the ice. I see Dick outside of the building, still an elemental. Dick casts disintegrate on the foul ice devil but it dodges the blast which proceeded to hit the wall behind it, disintegrating it. I hear Bob say “What do you mean throw a rock?!” I tell Bob he should slam the ice demon, he doesn’t listen to me. I stab the monster twice, dealing some damage.
322
323The ice demon looks around and tries to go stab me and Diane. It tries to stab me and it misses, getting stuck in the ground. It now is going to try and bite me. It tries to bite me, but as it does, I pull out my Rapier and deflect its pathetic attack! It tries to jump but falls out of the building.
324
325The creature looks hurt. Avi walks further through the ice. Avi looks down at the monster and pulls out his gun, shooting the creature and dealing some damage. The monster is now dead. The ice all immediately disappears. Avi is quite proud of himself and starts eating the dead body, finishing quickly. I go to the administrator and ask if she can transform me now. Avi asks about the monsters we need to kill. She says a cloaker and a goth or something like that. I ask Grimwald about inns and he suggests a few inns we can stay at for rest. I ask her to transform into a Tabaxi, she then transforms me into a tabby cat.
326
327Diane picks me up and brings me to the tavern/inn. I take a long rest and when I wake up, I see I’m normal. I ask Helga for some food and she begins cooking. Helga comes back with gray meat, soup and a drink. I eat it. I notice Dick walks into the inn and flirts with Helga. I overhear some dirty conversation and I scream “WAIT WHAT?!”, realizing a gnome is probably going to have intercourse with an orc. I finish eating and I follow Diane to the church. I walk into the temple and see Diane but I do not see anyone else. I overhear Avi laughing maniacally. I walk in the room, seeing a priestess, talking to Avi and Diane. Avi turns to us, saying that whatever he wishes for, it will suck. He and the god continue conversation. Before it goes away, it drops a coin. Avi stares at me, telling me I should never touch the coin. He stuffs the coin greedily into his patch. The priest is unconscious. Avi seemly tries to take something, I try to push him and I trip, breaking my ankle. She heals it back though.
328
329We all go to Helga’s inn and take a long rest.
330
331CHAPTER #11
332I get up and walk down the stairs, seeing the party eat food and Dick eating. I also see a bird person talking around. Diane asks about works for Slick. Helga brings a bucket of maggots. I ask who is “Slick” and the bird person says in the back “I am Slike, not Slick you idiot.” I look around and the inn is as bad as it has been. Avi leaves and I follow Suite. Dick walks out and talks with the child.
333
334Avi and I walk into the College. I go to Administration and see the one Draugh. I walk to Administration. I ask the head mistress the location of the other two monsters. She tells me the basement of the building along with many jackets in the top room. I thank her for the help and I walk out, seeing Avi and Dick bicker. Avi tells me they are going to the basement. We all agree to go to the basement and Avi tells us a plan. I see Slike is with us looking confused as Avi tried to explain things to him. I see Bill sitting out the office still saying he won’t help us. I walk to the basement leaving the others to bicker. I see the doors are closed. A student outside, looking at the doors. I ask him what is going on and he tells me he is on watch.
335
336I ask him if the party can be let in and he tells us there is a barrier. I see the group slowly walking to me. Avi commands him to open the door and the student opens the door with a key and pushes it open. Dick summons an elemental. I hear the elemental say “I slept wrong on a boulder.” Although Dick didn’t understand.
337
338He pulls out a suit of salt, makes a circle and meditates for thirty minutes. Bob won’t shut up about his life’s story. Dick tells the child to join us. He runs away and ten minutes later, he runs back with a pickaxe. I walk in the building, leading the way passing rooms and I am by the staircase and a ladder. Its hatch is now closed. Everybody follows. Avi tells me to open the hatch and It opens nicely.
339
340 Slike lights a torch and Avi pulls out a flashlight and asks why nobody else has one. The hallway looks rather clean. As I walk through the hallway, I put on my goggles of night vision, noticing Diane behind me and being alert for battle. Bob dips underground, and Grimwald sits on the floor before getting up. He readies himself. I went down the ladder with Diane and Avi follows. I see a door. Avi asks if I am ready to open the door. Dick and Silke follow down. The room feels cramped. I tell the party to ready their weapons. Avi lays out his broom. Grimwald climbs down, almost slipping on the last step.
341
342Grimwald ties the flashlight on an end of the pickaxe he holds. Dick opens the door and I see the room appears like a storage room. I tell the party to ready their weapons. The party readies their armaments and I get ready to walk through the door and I go. In the corner of the room is another set of two doors. There only exists coat racks in here. There is also another room next to us to the left of us, with more rooms. In the corner, I almost missed it, I see a giant demon.
343
344It also sees us. Dick asks the demon “How are ya!” The demon appears to understand. Avi waves his hand and says he speaks infernal, immediately speaking in “Spanish”. Bob the earth elemental pulls from the ground. Avi continues to babble about. Silke casted sacred flame upon the demon and the beast does a backflip, dodging the flame. I notice the demon’s full appearance. Diane readies to sneak and becomes unseen. Combat ensues. I see a terrible blow, massive punch to the Demon. Dick attempts to cast disintegrate, it hits the demon and does immense damage. I run to the beast and attack it with a powerful stab. Avi takes out a flask, shaking it violently. The canister shoots out lightning bellowing from it hitting the demon. The canister reappears in Avi’s hand. He pulls out his gun and proceeds to fire. He fires twice, missing both.
345
346The demon looks at me in a furious glare. He readies to strike with his claw and it hits me, hurting me bad. It bites me dealing massive damage. The demon just stares after me, I feel my soul shiver but I am fine so far. In my mind, I hear some nonsense, like Portuguese. Diane yells “NO YOU!” Slike goes up to me and casts “Cure wounds” on me. He heals me for a pitiful amount of health. Diane flies over the racks and attempts to stab the monster. Diane hits the creature, fiercely hitting the creature with all her fury. Diane flies up and Grimwald attempts to attack the demon. He says aloud “Dammit I couldn’t blind him!” I notice the demon hit a “Sweet dab.” I see a demonic orc appear from a red portal. Dick calls it “John”. The orc demon attacks the monster.
347
348I chug a supreme healing potion and I black out. Upon waking up, I feel restored and notice combat is still ensued. I see Avi shoot the creature. Avi shakes his flask, the canister changes color and appears to contain wind. Avi takes out his pistol and proceeds to shoot. Avi flips off the Demon. The demon waves, flipping Dick off and disengages. Avi says we should follow it. I am thankful the Demon decided to run and not attack me again. The demon goes to the top of the ladder, waving down at the party.
349
350Diane fires a projectile but barely misses. She fires once more and completely misses. Dick states the demon is going to the exit we came from. I see Bob go underground and go to the hatch. I see Bob slam into the demon upon reappearing. Bob does next to no damage. Bob then goes to the door. The demon eats a huge chunk out of Bob. Bob yells curses and swears in anger. Dick tells the boy to do something. Dick tells the party to start running to the upper floor, then casts banishment. The demon says something in Portuguese, un-banished. 
351
352Dick throws something into the demon. Diane tries to fire something, her gauntlet breaks. I run towards the ladder and prepare to attack. Avi tosses the flask over the demon. The demon is blasted through a window and Avi turns to us worried.  Avi fires his gun and misses, he fires a second shot and it hits the demon directly. Avi flips the demon with both fingers screaming “FIGHT ME!!!!!!!!” as his body seizures wildly in anger.
353
354The demon flies away from the college. It seems no matter what I do, I can’t catch up. Seems the same for the others in the party. I get up to the surface and see the chaos ensuing. I go to administration building ready to talk to the head mistress. I hear Avi accompanied with the sound of tank treads scream “FIIIGHHHTT MEEEEEE!!!!” faintly behind the walls. I hear screams of the party screaming “THE CHILD!!!” I pass the accountant holding a stone tablet. I notice a perfectly carved naked woman onto the tablet, I do not question the curves and just walk into the office, telling the head mistress we have driven out the demon. “You DROVE it out? Is it still in the school?” I say “Well no… it *pft* out a window and ran out of the campus. She replies with “Well it’s the cities problem now.” I ask the head mistress to be turned back into a Tabaxi, I am followed with long… unsounded silence. She tells me “I am pretty sure there is one last demon…” I tell her I am willing to fight it, killing it unless there be a need not to.
355
356I go to an inn nearest to me and give a golf piece for a bed. I take a long rest. While sleeping, I see visions of Avi, the demon and a mimic. I vision chats and talks, talks about gold and treasure. I vision about Avi quitting, giving up. I keep dreaming of visions of my past body, as a Tabaxi.
357
358I wake up at the climax of a battle with a dragon, in the dream I was almost below the fearsome foe’s claws, staring over me with the look of death. I look around the room. I get out of the inn and wander around. Avi asks what I am doing. I ask what he is doing and he tells me we have a genie to fight. I say “Okie…” Dick and Avi talk about the sewers, thief’s guild, a mimic and etc. I ask him about the last monster in the college. Avi waves and explains about percentages and what it can do to us. He pulls out a coin. He tosses it. The genie talks about the pain of being in the bottle. Dick offers incense. The genie spits at Dick. Avi and the genie talk and argue. We rush to the top level of the college and look around. There is nothing around. Avi asks the genie about something and it says there is a dead body. He taps it and the body asks to not be burned. Avi talks to the body, the “goth” as it calls saying if he heals it, it will stay by his side as an ally.
359
360Avi explains that the goth can destroy magical items, technically possible to free the genie. The genie goes back into the bottle. Avi and the goth continue talking, mainly about magical items and such. The goth looks at me, almost in a stunning glance but fails to do anything. Avi seems stunned along with Dick. I go to attack the eye. The eye explodes, hurting me a small bit but I am fine. We go to head mistress’s office. I ask to be turned back into a Tabaxi and before the mistress and explain something Avi pulls me aside, stating that he did not risk his life just for me to be turned into a “Tiger”.
361
362I ask him why that I cannot receive any sort of reward, what could I possibly get in return to justify going through all of that, just to be unable to receive what I originally bargained for. If I cannot be reverted what do I get. She tells us we can get gold. We all continue to talk about rewards. Avi and Dick go to Madam Malarias shop and I stay back to talk to the head mistress about enchanting my weapon. Mid conversation about pricing and enchantment costs, I black out.
363
364Upon waking up I look around, I see everyone and we go to madam malarias shop. I wished to be a Tabaxi again and it was granted. Avi wished for a book that would tell him any information he wants. I look at myself in disbelief. Thank god… I am a TABAXI AGAIN!!!! Dick also wished for a box of minerals too I guess... We go to the inn.
365
366CHAPTER #12
367As I look around, I notice my bag seems to also contain a petrified mouse… I guess that is for later I suppose. I see Narrator and a few other party members not here. I go down and see Dick, Diane but nobody else. I see Diane ask “Who is that?” I look at her and tell her I am Xyle. “Xyle?” Dick goes to Helga and grabs her one cheek, asking what is for breakfast.
368
369She goes to the back and brings food to dick. I eat the fish from my bag. I eat all of it happily. Diane goes out of the inn. I briefly recall a shop I can go to enchant my items but not really sure where. I decide the college may be a good place. As I walk out, I can tell Diane went to the “Bakery” of the town. I walk out in street and see a Human and a Draugh. I look at them and say “Eh” and walk past them to the academy.
370
371I look at somebody specifically for a short time but I keep walking. As I walk past, I hear them mumbling to each other, something about gods but I do not mind. I look around the under-dark’s sky, hoping for the moment I can finally escape this twisted game. I look at the petrified mouse in my bag, wondering what I can use this thing for.
372
373I begin to wonder what enchantment on my weapon or my armor I could obtain. I arrive to the college and I go to the head mistress. I ask where I can enchant items and I just go to madam Malarias and see it is closed. I look down the alleyway and see a small stall made out of cardboard and rags. I see a sign saying UnkLes Magik MiStICAL MaGikz. I go there to see a goblin, surprised to see me. I ask for what he has, he tells me his wares. He shows me a small basket with swords and bows. He pulls out a small metal box, I ask what is it and he tells me it is a magical box of mysteries.
374
375I ask to see a rapier. He shows me a fine rapier which looks very ornate. “I killed somebody for thi- Uhhhh yea It turns people to stone when you attack them, come closer!” I go closer. He whispers to me about the rapiers cost. I convince him that I am going to pay him 40 gold after he demands the money, pointing the weapon at me. I pay him. then wish him the best of days, I grab the rapier and walk away.
376
377I go to Horris’s shop to perhaps purchase some armor. I look around and see on his shop’s door is a sign saying that it is closed for a time. As I walk around, I see Dick on a Pegasus talking to a giant… Ok… I pass the various shops and go into what I presume is the bakery.
378
379I look around and see some guy. He mumbles to himself and takes off his hat, putting on a baker’s hat. I ask for a plain donut after he tells me the stores wares. I give him a silver, he gives me eight copper and my plain donut. I walk out and see the giant and two gnomes on a Pegasus.
380
381I see the giant move. Along with the gnomes. I follow the giant. I follow them to the alleyway. I go to the alleyway and ask what is the commotion. Me and someone argue about killing the goblin. I say we should not even bother. I sit back and watch all of this happen. The goblin pulls off a ring and flicks it towards the person next to the giant, the half-elf. I ask the half-elf its name, he tells me his name is Wild Card, he gestures to the giant and says “This is Argus.” I ask what is the commotion and Wild tells me he just bought the ring.
382
383I walk to the clothing store, having had enough of this. I walk inside and see a very nice interior. At the counter is a massive minotaur. He asks me what is the trouble and I ask for silent clothing. He tells me he can make it for 20 gold now and 20 gold later. I convince him to let me pay 1 platinum now and then 2 platinum later and he reluctantly agrees.
384
385He holds out his mighty hand as I drop a platinum coin in his hand. He takes it and goes to work on the boots as I watch and wait with eagerness. He finishes and hands me the boots and asks for his last payment.
386
387I hand it to him as Dick walks in and converses with him. He asks for padding for a majestic looking box. The shopkeeper commends the quality of the box and goes to work after taking payment from Dick. Wild walks in and asks for a custom set of clothes for a friend of his, asking for a size up.
388
389I see Diane walked towards me and she asks for a little money. She asks for a simple five platinum and I hand it to her. I see at the Hunting guild; a man walks out and pins something to a board. I see a notice that there is a bounty for a Humber Hulk killing. The creature looks vicious… I will keep note on the bounty and I continue exploring the town.
390
391I tell the party about the Humber Hulk bounty. I go to the Hunter Guild and ask the leader. I know people call her Fiona. Dick walks in. I ask her about the hunting and the bounty. I see she is about eight feet tall, very muscular. She tells us the firebrand is moving troops to the battlefield but the Humber Hulks are very dangerous. I ask her for the location and she pulls out a map of roads, pointing their nests are around the road.
392
393I go out of the office and pass Dick. We look at each other but before I could say anything he walks into Fiona’s office. I meet with the others and tell them about the bounty and the monsters. I ask Grimwald about the war that is spoken about everywhere. He tells me about the Rival city that doesn’t mind the mind-flayers.
394
395Dick walks to the “Eye of the Beholder” shop along with a gnome or whoever and another. I go to the eye of Beholder shop. I see the small human. I ask him his name, he tells me Ferras. I go to the shopkeeper and pull out my red rock, asking how much it is worth. With one of its many eyes, it looks at me. He looks over to Dick, saying a thousand gold, conversing with him. The shopkeeper turns to Ferras, who asks how much it is worth. “Half a lizard.” They both converse as Dick interrupts and buys the heavy thing of stone, which is covered in hair dye and makeup.
396
397The shopkeeper blasts my rock with a beam. It puffs into a pile of ash with a very small, red, beautiful gem in the middle. It tells me it is infused with the power of fire. I pull out my petrified mouse and ask him to unfreeze it, he does with a quick beam of light and the mouse confusingly moves around in my hand. I put it in a convenient pocket in my armor and I thank the shopkeeper, giving him three gold for his kindness.
398
399I see Ferras walk into the jewelry shop. I go to Helga’s .Hack and order a room, I hand in three silver and I go to take a long rest. Overnight I hear Helga and Dick mate a floor below. I wake up to the smell of pennies… Dick walks out of Helga’s room wearing only a thong, covered in sweat. I ask him what happened last night and he says nothing.
400
401I meet with the rest of the party, seeing Argus outside. I decided to name my pet mouse “Nicolai”. We all decide to go carry out the bounty. I sit next to him and ask for him to be able to make me a ring. I show him the gem as I hold it firmly. I show him the marble to make the ring and he tells me he can’t create a ring yet due to his exhaustion.
402
403The party relaxes for about four hours and are ready. I go to check Horris’s shop but they are both still closed. I knock on the door but there was no answer. I go meet with the rest of the party. We talk about the bounty and we make journey towards the Humber Hulks.
404
405I prepare to attack once we reach the spot Fiona says the Hulks may be at. We all stop. There is nothing around. I see nothing unordinary. Suddenly there is a strange feeling and sound. A very low digging sound… they are here.
406
407Humber Hulks pop up from the ground surrounding the party. I ready my shield and my new rapier. I cast moonbeam. The battles begin. People begin to fight as Dick screams “DO NOT LOOK AT THEM!” to Grimwald, who says “Ok!” then closes his eyes. Ferras attacks but the attack bounces off the hard chitin.
408
409Angelus stares at one of the Humber Hulks and becomes unable to do anything. One of them walks closer to me, and attempts to hit me with one of its claws. Both miss and it tries to bite me but that misses as well. 
410
411It attacks once more, slashing me for a good bit of damage. The battle ensues as everyone engages with these things. Along in the battle I notice Wild may have looked at one of the Hulks. He seems to try and punch Argus but his hand was badly hurt from that.
412
413I attack one with a turning glaze, hitting it directly dealing a sizable amount of damage. I attack once more casting ensnaring strike but it only just manages to avoid capture as it tosses its head up, cracking the vines away.
414
415The battles continue to rage on as Dick wakes up from his confusion. I form my own plans hoping that they work. One of the hulks claws me as other punches me up into the air. While in the air it tries to bite me but fails to do so. Another one steps in to attack, tries to swing and attack but misses completely.
416Then a Humber Hulk attacks Argus, missing once and hits harder a second time, dealing pitiful damage. After more battle, Argus goes into a rage. Argus smashed one of them with a pickaxe and another smash was squished to a fine paste. I think the battle is in our favor. The battle continues to rage on.
417
418I gaze at one and swipe with my rapier but blocks. I stab through the join of the arm once more and a flash of divine energy forces the creature to scream in a mass of pain. Diane is confused and starts to attack the nearest person. Diane in a stroke of the party’s luck attacks one of the Humber Hulks but still misses.
419
420I hear the screams of Dick who is apparently so confused, he became scared of Grimwald. The constant screams of wear litter the background. Dick goes on to a flying broom and flies away from Grimwald who is riding on the Pegasus. One of them slashes at me with a claw and the other Hulk attacks me twice, missing twice, three times and so on as I continue to dodge the best I can. I do not plan to get stricken by one of these oversized crabs anytime soon.
421
422Diane and Argus continue to be the center of attention within the battle. The battle continues to ensue with hopes for the party. I disengage and run next to Argus. As I backup I feel a sharp pain in my tail then I hear a “I THINK I HIT SOMETHING!” from Ferras. The fucker just cut me. Ferras also somehow hit the Hulk which is now trying to bite me.
423
424Argus swung to hit one of them. The fight continues on. I try to attack one and fail, I get frozen. The Hulk in front of me I see gets electrocuted by a ball of lightning, melting in front of me. Obviously, that’s good but turning to stone is worse. I see throughout the battle, more of the Humber Hulks are being cleaned out. One was turned into a mouse so its effects would not cause any issues. The battle continues.
425
426Over some time, more of the Humber Hulks are killed with a few remaining as I still try to recover from being paralyzed. Argus attacks one of them and successfully kills it and attacks the other, also killing it. Smashing through the brains of one and carving out a mass of the other.
427
428Dick casted disintegrate on one and it completely turned to dust. We won the battle! Diane goes around in a random direction. I desperately recover from being paralyzed and I look around. The Humber Hulks are massacred. I go get the mandibles. I ask the party for a weapon I can borrow. I got one and start getting mandibles.
429
430Most of the mandibles are damaged and I only got eight mandibles but it is good. I give the dagger back to Wild and we head back to town.
431
432Argus starts digging graves for them. We are all on edge and give Fiona. I hand her half of my mandibles and she hands me some gold. I go to a guard’s inn and before I could take a long rest, Dick and Wild Card come to me for the cut of the gold. Instead of turning in the 4 other mandibles, I decided to split the straight gold reward I had evenly with them which just do happened to equal sixty-six.
433
434As I try to rest, I hear things about statues and beholders outside, a conversation between Dick and Argus followed by chiseling. I do not mind much. I say goodnight to my pet mouse, Nicolai and take a well-deserved rest.
435
436Upon waking up, I find a chunk of a mysterious grey metal in my bag…
437
438CHAPTER #13
439To be continued.
440
441
442
443
444[These are the recorded journal events in the arena up until the death of Xyle]