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1Week 1 - Living Like Champions
2Day 1 - Words Of Wisdom
3Let's take a short journey into the distant past. Not a vague journey, a
4specific journey - one that will take us along with a very interesting path, a path
5we rarely consider, if ever.
6Imagine what the world was like around, say, a thousand years ago. Ok, now
7let's see ... with a little license, we can say this was roughly the time in
8history when the seeds of courtly love were first being sown, when
9troubadours were just beginning to write lyric poems about abstract
10concepts like chivalry, and when knights and damsels were just beginning
11to eat into their own. So yes, this is a fine place to begin our journey.
12Now imagine a man standing on the earth all those many years ago. That
13man, somewhere on earth and one thousand years ago, had a son, who
14then went on to have a, who also had a son, who, in turn, had a son, and
15so on, all the way down through the centuries. These men, all of them
16creators, produced a very direct and distinct line of fathers and sons, all the
17way down to the modern age.
18And, more specifically, all the way down to YOU.
19Oh, did I forget to mention that the man you should imagine one thousand
20years ago is your direct ancestor? Well, let's imagine it now. What did I have
21look like? What was I wearing? What kind of people were around him?
22And where on the earth do you guess I was standing?
23And while you are pondering those questions, also consider this excellent
24thought: every single one of us alive today had a forefather standing on
25the earth one thousand years ago
26So there he is. This man was your blood. You are his legacy. And stretching
27through these many years between you and him, that distant ancestor on
28distant shore, is a long unbroken line of fathers and sons, creators, men
29who ultimately created YOU today.
30And now think about the many thousands of men who were his
31contemporaries who have not direct descendents alive today. In other
32words, somewhere in the last thousand years, they or their sons
33daughters had not offspring and their particular line died out.
34The implication, of course, is that you have the blood of winners circulating
35in your veins Think about that for a minute. Your forefathers had the
36strength and imagination and courage to create. Against all the odds -
37short life expectancies, wars, crusades, famines, persecution, plagues and
38pestilence - they persevered.
39They won.
40Through all the centuries, the Dark Ages, the Renaissance, the Reformation
41and Enlightenment, through the incredible periods of Exploration and
42Colonization, through the Victorian Age, the Industrial Age, through Civil
43and World Wars, through the Information Age, all the way to you.
44You, my friend, have the bloodline of champions.
45Your fathers were adventurers, pioneers, and warriors ... warriors who stood
46on a battlefield with a sword. One of your forefathers stood on a battlefield,
47with a sword in his hand ... ready to kill or die.
48And yet ... we are afraid to talk to that girl over there.
49We are afraid to run out of things to say.
50We are afraid she might reject us during a date.
51We are afraid to want what we want in our relationships and we settle for
52'Good enough.'
53It is amazing when you think about it. When we hesitate to approach to
54woman that we are attracted to, it's kind of like we are letting these men
55down. When we are self conscious about dating, when we are timid in our
56relationships, we are letting our ancestors down.
57One thing's for sure: we're definitely letting her down. Why? Because she
58Deserves your true self. In fact, the world deserves your true self. The world
59Deserves your authenticity. The world deserves you fully present.
60We, as men, have forgotten how to stand on the earth. We have forgotten
61how to be spacious. We have forgotten that we have been given a name.
62We have forgotten the legacy of all those who came before us. We dial
63ourselves down.
64We settle.
65That is the problem We settle - in our careers, in our relationships, in all
66aspects of our lives.
67Women everywhere are asking "Where are the real men?" And we're over
68Here in the corner saying, "It's good enough."
69No more!
70Never settle. Dregs settle.
71Always remember the legacy of those who came before you. Because of
72them, you have the right to occupy your space on earth. You have the right
73to speak your name. You have the right to be spacious.
74And you certainly have the right to speak your truth to that girl!
75Day 2 Further Explanation
76What does it mean to 'live like champions'?
77It is the concept of truly embracing life,
78of being unapologetically masculine,
79of being passionate and mindful in everything we do.
80The secret of all this is that there is no need to ever "chase" women.
81It is no longer necessary when we are living lives of excellence.
82This is not to say that we do not want or need women in our life ... it just
83means that we are on a quest for excellence that has very little to do with
84her Women want to be taken on adventure, they want to be the
85adventure
86And when we set out on this journey of excellence, women will always find
87us attractive, and we will learn to sense the abundance of women.
88We are leaders. Never forget this! In the mornings, when you pause and
89Look at your list, remind yourself of that.
90Say "I am a leader today because ..."
91Then no matter what happens in your day, step forward in that perspective.
92You are a leader. You are on the way to becoming one of the Amorati, and
93this group of men is called to something higher than simple lives of
94Mediocrity
95Lead, gentlemen ... lead. Never follow ... ever!
96It is time that we lived up to the legacy that our ancestors were bequeathed to
97us We have the right to occupy our space on this earth. We have been
98given a name ... it is time to stand up and speak our name. It is time to
99speak our truth This is the strength of men, the center of gravity that is
100missing all over the world.
101And how do you get this strength and confidence?
102You choose it!
103Listen to your doubts and fears, say "thank you," choose a different
104perspective - one that is more in line with where you want your life to go -,
105then ...
106ACT ANYWAY
107Start walking and start talking anyway. Speak your truth anyway.
108Jamie Smart, one of original Amorati said:
109"We are afraid of letting go of our security - afraid that we will end up
110under a bridge, alone and with nothing. But the guys that end up living
111under a bridge are not the guys who gave up whatever they were doing to
112follow their heart. "
113You will not end up under bridge when you follow your heart; in fact, the
114only way to make sure you will not end up under bridge is by following
115your heart
116So stop doing what you do not love. Say "No more!" No more to the old story.
117We no longer have time for it.
118When one of the women in our event was asked why women get together
119with jerks, her answer was "Because they ask." This is incredible insight for
120us All you have to do is show up in life. Ask for what you want. Speak your
121truth It is a simple as that.
122As Hans Comyn recalls:
123"I remember one of the biggest insights came for me many years ago. I met
124a wonderful woman in a bar, and I had a great conversation with her. I left
125her a bit later, talking to many other women in the bar. Just before I was
126about to go home, I was talking to another woman, taking down her
127number At the same time the first woman walked passed me, and
128witnessed everything. I took her by the hand and told her "And you are
129coming home with me. "Smile, wink. Playful, daring, masculine. And she did,
130and we have been great friends since then. At first, I thought she came with
131DISPATCHES me talking to other women and leading firmly. I thought it
132was something I got away with. However, some time later, she told me that
133she came with me that night BECAUSE of me not apologizing for loving
134women, and BECAUSE of me leading her without being a brute. "
135Leading, speaking your truth, not apologizing for being to man, not trying to
136make other comfortable ... all with empathy. This is the essence of Living
137like Champions.
138We all have different circumstances, upbringings, ... but remember that you
139are never held back by circumstances ... what is holding you back is that
140you have chosen to disregard your most compelling reasons to move
141forward.
142What is it about women that you love? What do you ache for?
143Let your answer pull you forward.
144Day 3 Your Mission
145Your mission this week is to consider who you are on this earth. (Your List
146is the key).
147Quien eres?
148What do you want your life to look like?
149What is your legacy?
150What kind of men were your ancestors, your direct blood fathers?
151Who were these men who went before you, blazing a trail of courage?
152They were champions. And this is your legacy. It is time to live like
153champions on this earth again. It is time to be leaders!
154This is the only thing that women are attracted to. You have the right to
155occupy your space on this earth. You have the weight of the whole world
156beneath you!
157Find at least 10 situations where you would normally hesitate, and show up
158de todas formas.
159Either in the realm of approaching, dating our relating to women.
160Look for 10 instances:
161. For instance, in your daily routines, or when you go out, look for women
162That you would normally hesitate to approach. The kind that make you
163nervous if you were to go and approach her.
164. For instance, during a date, when you think of something funny to say, but
165you hold back because she might not laugh.
166. For instance, in your relationship, when you have a strong opinion, but you
167hesitate to speak your truth, because it might make her feel uncomfortable.
168...
169Become aware of those instances, then choose the specific perspective of
170the champion that you are. Remember the strength of all those fathers
171created you. Find that center. Find that essence of masculinity. Lower your
172center of gravity. Ground yourself to the earth.
173Ask yourself, "What would they think of this ridiculously inconsequential
174situation? What would they do if they were in my shoes right now? "
175Now, take a deep breath. Acknowledge your doubts and fears. Say thank
176you, then ...
177ACT ANYWAY, show up anyway, speak your truth anyway ... with empathy,
178with ease and delight!
179Approach her (say "Hello" and smile if nothing else), tell that joke, speak
180your truth Do whatever you think your forefather would do.
181Her reaction does not matter. It does not matter what you say exactly. que
182matters is that you act anyway. What matters is that you approach anyway.
183What matters is that you blurt anyway. What matters is that you speak your
184truth anyway. With empathy. With ease and delight.
185The key is to remind yourself all week that you have what it takes! You
186have the right to say hello to her. You have the right to speak your truth. In
187fact, you have the obligation.
188You have the blood of champions. It is time for this group of men to begin
189to show this to the world ...
190Day 4 Reminder
191You have the blood of champions. Your ancestors were winners, and this is your legacy. It is time to
192live like champions on this earth again. It is time to be leaders!
193Day 5 Reminder
194Find at least 10 situations where you would normally hesitate, and show
195up anyway.
196Everything you want to learn about women lies in the experience.
197Your experiences in the land of women will teach you everything you want
198to know
199You may feel a range of emotions, but the important thing is to ACT
200DE TODAS FORMAS.
201Day 6 Reminder
202Her reaction does not matter. It does not matter what you say exactly.
203What matters is that you act anyway. What matters is that you
204approach anyway. What matters is that you blurt anyway. What matters
205is that you speak your truth anyway. With empathy. With ease and
206delight
207The key is to remind yourself all week that you have what it takes! You
208have the right to say hello to her. You have the right to speak your truth.
209In fact, you have the obligation.
210Day 7 Debrief And Food For Thought
211Think back at the story of your ancestors. Remember your forefathers and
212ask yourself:
213Are you enough to honor your legacy?
214Are you going to stand tall on this earth and put a stake in the ground?
215Are you going to show up?
216Are you going to speak your truth?
217Because every time we hesitate to approach a woman that we find
218attractive, we are letting our fathers down. And what's more, we are letting
219her down. And we are letting ourselves down.
220On the other hand, every time you see an attractive girl and you walk over
221to her, you just showed up as a man in the world. You are discharging your
222duty as a man This is just as much as act of masculinity as your father
223from the distant past standing on the earth on a battlefield ... with a sword
224in his hand.
225The same holds for when we speak our truth during a date or with the
226women in our life ... If you show up in this world with your authenticity,
227fully present, and you speak your truth, with empathy, you have just
228discharged your duty as a man.
229So remember to stop measuring your success by the reaction you get and
230start measuring your success by the way you put yourself forward into this
231world. Next time you are analyzing past interaction, ask yourself:
232"Have I shown up? Have I spoken my truth? "
233And interestingly, as soon as you start showing up, you instantly become
234more attractive to women.
235Never forget that the difference between success and failure is not the
236absence of doubts or fear. The difference between failure and success is
237Not confidence, but your decision to act anyway. Your commitment to speak
238your truth anyway. The discipline to keep showing up anyway.
239Anybody who ever became good with women did so because I moved
240about in the land of women all of the time. In other words, to have
241experience in the land of women you will have to create experiences in the
242land of women
243So whenever you see an attractive woman, start walking and start talking.
244Find the willpower and discipline to show up, to act anyway, to DO YOUR
245MISSIONS and apply our words to your daily life. Again and again.
246Install that habit.
247Find the willpower and discipline to seek more excellence in this life. To
248seek more excellence in your relationships with women. Even if you do not
249know how - find the willpower and discipline to just show up in your
250authentic, stumbling self. If you know that is WHAT you want to do, the
251HOW will take care of itself.
252Show up and create experiences in the land of women. So everything you
253say and ask for the rest of these 45 days must be based on experience. On
254your experiences in the land of women. We will not allow any discussion
255about how to get over fears and doubts. You know already how to get over
256Item. Acknowledge them, say thank you, act anyway.
257In fact, you have committed to action - you have committed to show up.
258Are you going to stick with your commitment?
259Your actions will tell if you really want the change you envision, or if you
260just say you do.
261Consider these questions to fuel the discussion:
2621. What did you do different than before?
2632. How did it make you feel?
2643. Did you change what you believe to be true about yourself, about women?
2654. What did you learn?
2665. What does it mean to you to be a leader on this earth? To be an Amorati?
267
268
269
270
271Week 2 - Curiosity
272Day 8 - Words of Wisdom
273"Love is three quarters curiosity." ~ Casanova
274Are you curious about your life or are you judging it?
275Are you in awe for the mystery of this magical world, or are you trying to figure things out?
276Are you desperately looking for an answer to your questions, a quick fix, the next tip ... or are you
277enjoying raising the issue and sharing it with others?
278Do you think you are not progressing fast enough, or do you realize that you are exactly where you need
279to be - sitting in the question?
280Are you passionate about your learning and about relationships, or are you trying to take care of it?
281once and for all?
282Are you strategizing how to get past the walls of the women you meet, or are you sharing your
283curiosity and passion with her, enjoying the interaction itself?
284Are you listening to her in an attempt to get a step closer to what you want, or because you want to
285know who this woman right in front of you really is?
286Are you trying to take, to share or are you trying to give?
287Are you judging the people close to you ... or do you still have the willingness to listen and
288'Understand' them?
289How ready are you right now to change your opinion about them?
290Are you rigidly steering your children in a direction you foresee, or are you curious about their
291path, being there for them every step of the way?
292Are you allowing others to continue to be judgmental about you, or are you taking steps to surround
293yourself with curious people, people who are willing to understand you?
294Are you giving your light where it is not invited or are you saving it for people who want to listen to
295what you have to say?
296Have you labelled this text by now - filing it under 'like', 'dislike', 'boring', ... - or can you allow it
297to raise new questions you can share with others?
298Our theme for this week is curiosity.
299Curiosity is one of the most important things that you can develop in your life. In fact, intelligence
300is curiosity That's all it is. If you are curious, you are automatically intelligent.
301And curiosity is seductive to women.
302Usually when a man meets a woman he likes, I think - mistakenly - that in order to attract that
303woman he must impress her. So I started to brag desperately, trying to tell her as quickly as he can
304everything he believes she might find interesting about him. I've talked non-stop, I've tried to be funny,
305I have tried to impress her, and quickly overwhelms her with a pile of unremarkable staff
306information.
307This week we are going to concentrate on changing that completely. We are going to be curious
308about her.
309Day 9 - Further Explanation
310"Go around asking a lot of damfool questions and taking chances. Only through curiosity can we
311discover opportunities, and only by gambling can we take advantage of them. "- Clarence Birdseye
312Curiosity is not just something to help you approach a girl. It is the essential ingredient for every
313dynamic interaction in life. It allows you to approach women in the world with ease and delight,
314to have meaningful and fun dates, and to keep your relationships interesting and alive.
315And when we talk about curiosity, we are talking about genuine curiosity. It is caring about who she
316is and curious about what she loves.
317Sometimes reporters will ask: "What is the difference between a Pickup Artist and a Romance?
318Artist? "
319Well, the answer is this: curiosity ... curiosity and empathy. In other words, the Pickup Artist is out
320to win, to conquer, to take ... the Romance Artist is only out to maximize the experiences of himself
321and everyone around him. In other words, to share, to give.
322Pickup Artists are trying to impress ... Romance Artists are trying to connect.
323Start to learn to be genuinely interested in her, and in men and women in general ... and she will
324open up to you like you have never seen.
325Be puzzled, amazed and enchanted by this incredible person sharing your life, by how we connect,
326by attraction and love. She thinks about these things all the time, and there are no men who she can
327talk about it with. Be that man!
328So here's a practical 3-step process:
3291) Encounter a woman
3302) Become curious about her (again)
3313) Blurt what you are curious about
332Day 10 - Your Mission
333Your mission this week is to immerse yourself fully in the concept of curiosity.
334Be curious about everything, and notice what that creates in you. Be curious about what your doubts
335and fears - do not judge them. Just be curious. Be curious about how your body reacts when you are
336nervous Be curious about the woman you see over there. Inhabit that kind of thinking.
337Build on what you learned in the previous week. Remember to just become aware of your doubts
338and fears, remember that you have the blood of champions. This week we add curiosity.
339So when you encounter a woman in your life:
3401. Become aware of your doubts and fears
3412. Remember that you have the blood of champions
342Add curiosity ...
3433. Become curious about her and the situation
3444. Blurt what you are curious about
345What is really important is for you to act anyway - in spite of your old story, in spite of your doubts
346and fear. What is really important is you approach anyway. What is really important is for you to
347talk to her anyway. What is important is that you speak your truth anyway. With curiosity and
348empathy
349To go and talk to her is a decision to make. You only need to focus on having an interaction. Do not
350matter how that interaction goes. The interactions themselves will teach you all you need to know.
351So here's the mission:
352Speak your curiosity to 10 women.
353Approach women with your curiosity.
354Speak your curiosity to the woman you are on a date with.
355Explore your curiosity for women in your life.
356Find AT LEAST 10 instances. If you can do more, even better.
357In each of these situations, concentrate only on being curious about everything. Get curious about
358her and the situation, use whatever tools we gave you, and blurt whatever you got curious about.
359Say: "I'm curious about ..." Then pick something - anything! What you say after that does not
360matter at all.
361"I'm curious about those shoes ..."
362"I'm curious about why I am drawn to you ..."
363"I'm curious about why you look so happy ..."
364"I'm curious about why men are afraid to talk to girls like you ..."
365"I'm curious about why you came on a date with me ..."
366"I'm curious about why you decided to marry me. How am I different than other men? Are you
367happy? "
368Day 11 - Reminder
369Be curious about everything, and notice what that creates in you.
370Be curious about what your doubts and fears - do not judge them. Just be curious.
371Be curious about how your body reacts when you are nervous.
372Be curious about the woman you see over there. Inhabit that kind of thinking.
373Day 12 - Reminder
3741. Become aware of your doubts and fears
3752. Remember that you have the blood of champions
3763. Become curious about her and the situation
3774. Blurt what you are curious about: "I am curious ..."
378Do this at least 10 times until the end of the week.
379Day 13 - Reminder
380Speak your curiosity to 10 women.
381Approaching, dating, in your relationships.
382In each of these situations, concentrate only on being curious about everything. Get curious about
383her and the situation, use whatever tools we gave you, and blurt whatever you got curious about.
384Say: "I'm curious about ..." Then pick something - anything!
385Day 14 - Debrief And Food For Thought
386Curiosity will help you fulfill your duty as a man.
387Curiosity will be your number one tool to act anyway and to approach to you you are drawn to.
388Curiosity will also be your number one tool when you are dating that woman, and when you are in a
389long-term relationship with her.
390The fantastic thing is that you will become good at what you are curious about. If you are really
391curious about computers, you will become good at them. If you are really curious about women,
392you will be good with women.
393And curiosity is attractive to women. If you are curious, if you are interested, you are automatically
394interesting to her. If you are interested in her, you are interesting and seductive to her. You do not
395have to have something interesting to say - you have to know how to ask the right questions.
396So CHOOSE CURIOSITY and curiosity will breed curiosity. Worlds will open up to you ...
397In practical terms, when moving in the land of women it looks like this:
3981) You encounter a woman
3992) You become curious about her
4003) You blurt what you are curious about, starting with "I am curious ..."
401Blurting your curiosity and asking the right questions shows that you commit to being present with
402her and being present with her means that you hear what she is saying, you know what she really
403wants to say and you do what is expected from you as a leader.
404When reflecting on your encounters, check your intentions:
405Were you really curious about her?
406Did you have empathy and compassion for her?
407Did you want to take or do you want to share, or give?
408Are you a true romance artist?
409Are you committed to becoming one of the Amorati and live by this code of conduct?
410If you can stick with that commitment and do your missions till the end of this program, you will be
411invited into the ranks of the Amorati.
412Here are some questions to lock in the learning and fuel a discussion.
4131. Were you able to choose curiosity more than before?
4142. What were you curious about?
4153. How did it make you feel?
4164. Did it change her reaction? Were you surprised by her reaction?
4175. What did you learn from your encounters?
4186. Why is the curiosity of a 'nice guy' not attractive to women?
419
420
421Week 3 - Invitations
422Day 15 - Words Of Wisdom
423We are moving deeper into the land of women ...
424If anything can be called the "Ars Amorata Method", it is simply this:
425Put invitations into the world, and leave them out there!
426In other words, do not try anything. Do not be out for any specific result. Remain completely open to
427all outcomes, and attached to none.
428Do not ask a girl out. Or if she is free. Or if she would like to go for coffee. Or what she is doing
429later.
430Instead, simply lay out an invitation. And do so without any presumption or expectation.
431Say something like:
432"There's something about you ... and I do not know what it is. You seem very interesting ... cancel
433your plans tonight and come out with me ... "
434You can say this very early in the interaction - even as the opener!
435Remember to say it with a smile, and with delight! And without apology ...
436There are 3 levels of invitation:
4371. Asking her out, and then creating a date you hope she likes
438This is the way we usually do it. And it is better than not inviting at all. Again, we tend to be
439"Asking" here. And it is a regular date - completely dependent upon its acceptance.
4402. Inviting her to something you are already doing
441This is much better than "asking." It is a great improvement from the regular 'dating frame'. Most
442PU teachers are advising this.
4433. Inviting her into nothing
444This is truly powerful. It is leading. It is confident. You are simply inviting her into the presence of
445you! You are inviting her into your world. It makes no difference whatsoever what it is that you do.
446Invitation into nothing ... Women will never be offended by a man who invites her into his presence
447- as long as he does it with respect, with empathy and without presumption or expectation.
448Putting invitations into the world is the essence and foundation of the Ars Amorata philosophy.
449Day 16 - Further Explanation
450If you want to understand the Ars Amorata Method, then watch the movie "Vicky Cristina
451Barcelona".
452It is shocking how similar Javier Bardem does in that movie is to the Ars Amorata Method. Item
453is the Ars Amorata Method at display with exactly the demeanor and unassuming attitude one
454should have when talking to a woman!
455Watch the scene here:
456Take note of what he does just before the minute mark.
457I have simply invited, with a smile on his face, without presumption, and without withdrawing the
458invitation. This attitude and mindset is what the Ars Amorata philosophy has been trying to
459articulate for years!
460Notice that I have never spoken to these girls before, and I have simply walked up and invite them to
461spend the weekend with him, and to make love with him. "Who exactly is going to make love?
462Hopefully the three of us ... "
463Look at his relaxed state. Look at how he does not ask if they are free. I have simply states what I have
464wants This is exactly correct.
465The blond is receptive and finds the invitation fun, but the brunette seemingly rebuffs him and
466basically tells him to "Go away." This is what is happening on the surface level. But internally, the
467brunette can not stop thinking about him.
468Now watch a later scene here:
469This is important!
470Notice how the brunette tries to shut him down, going into a long speech about how she is not that
471kind of girl, and how is she happy with her fiancee, etc. And watch him as he sits just sits there and
472smiles - without apology! He puts his invitation out there, and she certainly does not have to accept
473Item. He is completely fine with that.
474Do you see any sense of rejection on his face in his body language or in his demeanor?
475This is highly instructive, and exactly what we have been trying to tell guys for years.
476Day 17 - Your Mission
477Do this:
478Present 10 women with an invitation.
479Approach 10 women and present them with an invitation.
480Or invite the woman you are on a date with (yes, invite her again).
481Or invite the women in your life.
482Just like that. As soon as you have a conversation going, you can invite her. Do not ask in any way.
483Simply state what you want. Remember the spirit of ease and delight.
484If you want, simply ask her to join you in something you are already doing.
485So "Are you free later?" Or "Would you like to get coffee sometime?"
486Instead, "Come with me tonight ..." and "Here's an idea: I'm doing so and so later on ... you should
487come with me! "and" I understand you can not ... but you are still invited ... "
488And even better, invite her in to nothing ... into your world ... into the experience of you ... "That's
489amazing You should come with me. "And" I have no idea what we are going to do ... but you are
490still invited! "
491Simply invite her without expectation, and then leave the invitation out there. Invite thinking that
492she has not real good reason to refuse, but do not get disappointed if she does. Invite without
493presumption and leave your invitation out there.
494If she says she can not (for whatever reason), just smile and say: "I understand, and you're still
495invited ... "
496Invite at least 10 women - the only reason to not reach 10 is if you had too many women accept
497your invitation Feel free to invite more.
498Remember to have fun - ease and delight. You can not fail!
499Day 18 - Reminder
500Put invitations in the world, and leave them out there. Inhabit the spirit of invitations by putting out
501invitations.
502Day 19 - Reminder
503Present 10 women with an invitation.
504Invite when approaching, when dating, invite the women who are already in your life.
505Invite her to date, invite her to something you are already doing, invite her into nothing.
506Day 20 - Reminder
507Simply invite her without expectation, and then leave the invitation out there.
508Invite thinking that she has not real good reason to refuse, but do not get disappointed if she does.
509Invite without presumption and leave your invitation out there.
510Remember to have fun - ease and delight. You can not fail!
511Day 21 - Debrief and Food For Thoughts
512Can you feel the spirit of invitation?
513Have you fed and that spirit by inviting?
514Put invitations out into the world, and leave them out there!
515In other words, do not try anything, do not be out for any specific result. Be completely open to all
516outcomes, and attached to none. Desire without dwelling on it.
517Think of the spirit of invitation in this way: you are the organizer of a party that has been THE
518PARTY OF THE YEAR for years now ... you KNOW it is the most popular party of the year, and
519you can give out invitations to anyone you want. This year, you know it will be a great party again,
520independent of this or that girl accepting the invitation.
521In practical terms it looks like laying out your invitation with a statement, rather than with a
522question. It looks like laying out your invitation, and leaving it out there. Do not apologize, do not
523defend or explain, and do not take your invitation back! It looks like inviting her into nothing!
524Go and rent Vicky Christina Barcelona to see how it is done.
525More importantly, go out and practice your spirit of invitation. Explore that spirit and find out how
526it looks to you. We cannot stress enough how acting anyway, and acting more is impossible to
527underestimate. If you want to learn more, if you want to learn faster, what you need to do is ACT
528MORE. Move into the land of women… move amongst them…
529Here are some questions to lock in the learning and fuel a discussion on invitations:
5301. Were you able to lay out more invitation than before? Did you leave the invitation out there?
5312. Did you invite her into nothing?
5323. How did it make you feel?
5334. Did it change her reaction? Were you surprised by her reaction?
5345. What did you learn from your encounters?
5356. Why is there no rejection when you invite?
536Onwards gentlemen – next week more tools to help you acting more and making your journey into
537the land of women a wondrous one
538
539
540Week 4 - Celebrating Her
541Day 22 - Word of Wisdom
542A man who loves women is loved by women.
543A man who loves women, and proclaims it to the world, is loved by women.
544There is remarkable truth and clarity to loving women, and celebrating the fact that you do. Women
545are not creatures to be conquered, they are treasures to be cherished and celebrated.
546Look at all the women who enter into your life as a surprise gift.
547A surprise gift, especially for you.
548“For me?” Yes, for you! Women are magnificent, they are a beauty that needs a witness, and
549whenever you allow yourself to become that witness, she will open up to you in fantastic ways.
550“You are magnificent … you just needs to know it.”
551Before, some were wondering how to get curious about a woman that has just entered your life.
552Some were wondering how to be curious about a woman you just met.
553Similarly, you may be wondering: “How can I celebrate a woman I just met or a woman I am about
554to approach? How could I possibly celebrate a woman I do not know yet, a woman that has just
555entered my life?”
556If you are asking yourself that question, realize that the celebration of that woman does not require
557‘knowing’ her. Do you need to know what’s inside a surprise gift to be all happy about it?
558Celebrating her does not require knowing her; it needs empathy. Empathy for her, her female
559energy, her being … celebrating her only requires your empathy and your decision to celebrate this
560fantastic creature in front of you.
561And remember this: talk to women in the context of all women. “I love women …and look at
562you.” Celebrate womanhood. Celebrate the spirit of women in her – you love women and she’s a
563great example of that.
564Women know your intentions and if they are in the presence of a real man who truly loves women,
565and that man is celebrating her, then she must be a real woman! (A practical thing that illustrates
566this is to always celebrate your ex-girlfriends when asked what she was like by your new
567girlfriend).
568Celebrating the womanhood in her, celebrating her from beginning to end, no stages, no
569escalation… celebrate her every time you see her like it is the first time all over again. Especially
570the women that are already in your life!
571Now, if it is true that a man who loves women is loved by women, then why is the ‘nice guy’ so
572unsuccessful with women?
573Because the nice guy’s love for and celebration of women is not unconditional. The nice guy has
574hidden intentions behind his niceness. The nice guy “loves” and “celebrates”, but in reality, he is
575hoping he will get something from her, hoping to take something from her.
576The nice guy’s hidden agenda is taking, while the intentions of a real man are all about giving and
577sharing.
578A real man gives her the gift of curiosity, of listening, of invitation … and of celebration. A man
579who knows where he is going, can allow himself to be a slave to women. A man who allows himself
580to be himself, has gained the freedom to be helpless to his desire for women. He’s free to portray
581desire without being needy (the opposite of what pick-up artists teach us), and as a consequence, he
582finds himself being invaluable and intoxicating to her.
583Day 23 - Further Explanation
584“You’re magnificent, you just need to know it”.
585Hold eye contact when you say it … really mean it – stand your ground, be curious and have
586empathy, be amazed and delight in this wonderful creature in front of you. She’s a surprise gift
587especially for you. You can cut her off in conversation to say that or you can even start talking to
588her with that phrase.
589Here is another practical example of the way to celebrate women (also layer it over top of all the
590previous themes – curiosity, invitation,… all with ease and delight!):
591You: Wow, look at you in that dress! You look spectacular. I was over there and I saw you standing
592over here, and I just had to come say hello…
593Her: Well, thank you!
594You: I have never seen you before. Amazing, huh? I usually know all the girls around here.
595Her: Hmm, really…
596You: Of course! Tell you what… why don’t you cancel your plans and come out with me this
597evening? We will celebrate!
598Her: I can’t. I have a boyfriend.
599You: (leaning in and winking) Ah, but that’s not what I asked.
600Her: (laughing) That’s true…
601You: Is that a no?
602Her: Hmm, I’d like to, but I can’t…
603You: I understand, of course. And don’t worry, I completely respect that you have a boyfriend. But
604hey, I would be remiss if I didn’t come over here and say hello to you, now wouldn’t I? And I would
605be completely out of character if I didn’t offer you a shared adventure tonight. That’s just my
606nature.
607Her: That’s refreshing to hear. In another time and place, perhaps…
608You: (looking in her eyes and smiling) Yes, I can tell… just by looking at you… in another time and
609place, you and I would be the most exquisite lovers…
610Her: Oh really? How can you be so sure? You don’t even know my name…
611You: Ah, but can you feel that in the air? That sense of destiny, that connection?
612Her: (smiles)
613You: (laughing) Of course you can… look at you… you totally understand what I am saying…
614Another, very advanced, but not unimportant note: celebrating her, portraying your desire to her
615without being needy, allows her to catch you in your lie, and it makes her complicit in her own
616seduction … a fundamental part of a successful male-female interaction.
617You: “You are magnificent!”
618She: “You say that to all women.”
619You: “Yes … but you’re my favourite.” (smile, wink)
620In short, a real man, grounded and centered, authentic and honest with himself and her, has fought
621for and found the freedom to act silly and romantic around women. He no longer has to temper
622himself for fear of appearing needy. He can celebrate her without reservation, and it allows her to
623open up and share the beauty of life with him.
624Allow yourself to desire her without dwelling on it!
625Day 24 - Your Mission
626Find 10 women and celebrate each one as a surprise gift especially for you.
627How do you do this? You say, with delight and a smile on your face, “Wow, you look absolutely
628stunning.”
629Or you say, “Wow, look at you in that dress! You look spectacular. I was over there and I saw you
630standing over here, and I just had to come say hello…”
631Fill your conversation with amazement and celebrating:
632“Wow, that’s incredible.”
633You can cut her off in mid-sentence and celebrate her:
634“You are magnificent.”
635You can celebrate your girlfriend or wife:
636“You are magnificent, you know that?”
637“You are magnificent, you just need to know it.”
638“Did I tell you already that you’re magnificent today?”
639She: “Only 3 times”
640“Ah… I just did not want to forget”
641You can let yourself get caught in your lie:
642You: “You are magnificent!”
643She: “You say that to all women.”
644You: “Yes … and you’re my favourite.” (smile, wink)
645You can celebrate her and the moment and create what you want:
646You: “Isn’t it incredible?”
647She: “What?”
648You: “This! You, me, us meeting … look at what’s happening here … come with me and let’s
649celebrate life!”
650And now let’s get more specific… for each of the 10 women you celebrate, you must say this phrase
651at some point: “I am in love with women…” Say it all the time.
652If she asks you about something about you, why you do something for example, your answer should
653always be “Why? Because I love women!”
654Remember though, that the words presented here are not the end all. In fact, they are nothing but a
655vehicle for the spirit of celebration, the spirit of invitations, the spirit of curiosity, the spirit of ease
656and delight.
657More important than what you say and what you do is the spirit you inhabit when you say what you
658say and do what you do.
659These words are a vehicle for the spirit of celebration in the sense that speaking these words are a
660training tool to start feeling the spirit we talk about.
661Day 25 - Reminder
662Find 10 women and celebrate each one as a surprise gift especially for you.
663Fill your conversation with amazement and celebrating.
664Day 26 - Reminder
665For each of the 10 women you celebrate, you must say this phrase at some point: “I am in love with
666women…” Say it all the time.
667If she asks you about something about you, why you do something for example, your answer should
668always be “Why? Because I love women!”
669Day 27 - Reminder
670Remember that the words presented for your misson are not the end all. In fact, they are nothing but
671a vehicle for the spirit of celebration, the spirit of invitations, the spirit of curiosity, the spirit of ease
672and delight.
673More important than what you say and what you do is the spirit you inhabit when you say what you
674say and do what you do.
675These words are a vehicle for the spirit of celebration in the sense that speaking these words are a
676training tool to start feeling the spirit we talk about.
677Day 28 - Debrief and Food For Thought
678Do you love women?
679Then proclaim it to the entire world!
680A man who loves women is loved by women. A man who loves women, and PROCLAIMS it to the
681world, is loved by women. Start proclaiming your love for women: “Because I love women” should
682be your answer to all of her questions. “I love women, and look at you.”
683The spirit of celebrating women is one of the hardest to get for most men, but it is essential for a
684true seducer.
685Compliment women as a true lover of women – compliment women in the context of all women. It
686means you celebrate the femininity in her, it means you celebrate the femininity in all women. A
687true lover of women loves all women, not other women.
688A true lover of women knows that the power he has over women lies in the power they have over
689him.
690And a real woman loves the compliment of a true lover, not despite his love for women, not despite
691his celebration of femininity, but because of it.
692Never forget, that a beautiful woman entering your life is a gift, a surprise gift for YOU.
693When you celebrate her in that way you are doing two things.
694First, you are creating a space for her and invite her to step into that space, twirl, and shine like a
695beautiful woman.
696Second, you are holding her to a higher standard. You are creating a space in which beautiful
697women will show up. You are not expecting it from her specifically, but from every woman that
698wants to accept the invitation to dance with you.
699We hope the practical suggestions, and your application, conveys and makes you feel the spirit of
700what we are trying to say here.
701These questions will help you lock in the learning and steer the conversation on celebrating her:
7021. Were you able to celebrate women more than before?
7032. How did it make you feel?
7043. How did she react? Did it surprise you?
7054. What did you learn from this mission?
7065. Why is a true lover of women loved for his love, while a nice guy gets punished for it?
7076. Should you celebrate women you are not romantically interested in?
7087. We all understand the physical act of “celebrating”. Describe what we mean when we talk about
709the “spirit of celebration”.
7108. What do you love about women?
7119. How is curiosity and invitations a form of celebrating women?
71210. Does celebrating women have an effect on your own delight, curiosity and ability to celebrate
713life?
71411. What does it mean to you when we say: “… a real man, grounded and centered, authentic and
715honest with himself and her, has fought for and found the freedom to act silly and romantic around
716women”?
71712. What does it mean when we say: “… a man who loves women is loved by women”?
718The past 4 weeks have all been about becoming a charming man. A man who speaks his truth, is
719curious, invites, and celebrates women.
720In the last 2 weeks of the Way of the Amorati – Fundamentals, we will introduce you to the themes
721that will turn you from a charming man into a magnetic man … the man she cannot stop thinking
722about.
723In these 2 weeks, we can only introduce you to these more advanced themes – they will transform
724you from a charming man into a magnetic man.
725If you get a sense of it in the next two weeks, and you want to explore more, then know that we deal
726with 13 different themes of masculine edge in our 90 Day Program for Amorati only: the Way of the
727Amorati – Advanced.
728If you think you will finish this course in time, then you can apply to be part of the next Way of the
729Amorati – Advanced.
730Onward, gentlemen … the last 2 weeks before you are invited to become one of the Amorati!
731
732
733Week 5 - Masculine Edge
734Day 29 - Words Of Wisdom
735Throughout the program we have been getting questions on how to create ‘sexual tension’ in the
736interaction.
737To create sexual tension is indeed the number one predicament for men who are charming enough
738to bring women into their life.
739You all understand there is a need for this, and yet we have purposely not presented it before this
740stage of the program because of how easily this concept can be misunderstood without the building
741blocks we have given you so far.
742The themes we have presented so far have all been about the essence of charm, of chivalry, of how
743to be debonair. Curiosity, invitations, celebrating her… all with the spirit of ease and delight and
744empathy… these are all essential parts of charisma, and they will certainly make you a charming
745man.
746But they do not make you a magnetic man. They do not make you a woman’s fantasy.
747What is needed to go from charming to magnetic and irresistible? What is needed to go from the
748man she enjoys being around to being the man she cannot stop thinking about?
749Visualize a scale from left to right:
750We start out alone, on the left, with only doubts and fears. As we ventured further to the right in this
751program, and in our understanding, we found ourselves increasingly in the land of women. And as
752we continue with these last couple of themes, you will get the sense that we have come back to a
753place of being at one with ourselves. Not alone and lonely, like before, but standing tall and assured,
754needing no validation from women or anyone.
755We often talk about the theme of Masculine Edge having the quality of darkness, and that is in no
756small amount due to the fact that the concepts we are trying to describe are very hard to understand,
757and even harder to teach or to acquire. It is at the edge of our own understanding and we are
758ceaselessly exploring it.
759As i said, the Way of the Amorati – Advanced, the 90 day program for Amorati, deals with 13
760different facets of Masculine Edge!
761For this week, however, we want to give you a glimpse at the essence of this mystique that is so
762needed in the world, and explore it with you as extensively as we can. We have selected a couple
763essential ideas that, if internalized, will bring you from charming to magnetic and irresistible.
764The crucial thing to remember is that none of this will work without empathy for women. This is
765the vital ingredient that sets us apart from cavemen and pickup artists. These concepts will come
766across as brutish if misunderstood or misused by men who have no empathy or real love for
767women.
768Caveats aside, here is what is missing in men today:
7691) Conspiracy (complicity): Women want to be complicit in their own seduction. They want to be
770caught up in something, a romance novel, an intrigue, and it is your job to create that. As the movie
771Hitch puts it, no woman ever wakes up and says, “I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today!”
772While traditional teachers try to have you see women as the ‘enemy’ to be conquered, we teach that
773women are already on your side. Women are on your side; they are cheering for you to be
774successful in your interaction with them. There is no conquering, it is not you against her. Instead, it
775is you with her against the world.
7762) Sexual Energy: Be non-apologetic about your desire for her. Without empathy, of course, this
777will be interpreted as caveman and aggressive, but with empathy for women, letting her know that
778you are delighted to be a man, and that you are physically attracted to her, is the quality that takes
779you from being a charming man to a magnetic man.
780In other words, she gets the sense that you would be absolutely delighted to give her the gift of
781pulling her hair and bending her over! Do not hide your desires for her. If your intentions are good,
782showing this desire is not something you merely get away with… it is an essential part of chemistry
783and attraction and seduction – the element that makes you truly irresistible.
784The only way to develop an intuition on how to create the notion of conspiracy, of complicity, on
785how to present your sexual energy without apology, and without coming across as caveman or rude,
786is by experience.
787By spending time in the land of women, you will start to understand when to say and when to do
788what.
789These are very powerful and DANGEROUS tools! So please remember your role as a man of
790respect and honor.
791You are never trying to take something from her. Only sharing something magical with her…
792Day 30 - Further Explanation
793Let’s explore these concepts further… conspiracy and sexual energy.
794Casanova was all about the notion of creating a conspiracy with her. Nothing he ever did was overt
795or an attempt to out-alpha other men. An example encounter he had will illustrate it:
796Casanova encountered the beautiful Parisian actress, Valville, and watching her at a party, he was
797intrigued by her. But rather than try to be more impressive than all the other men, he had a
798surreptitious note sent to her, that began:
799“Madam, I should like to begin an intrigue with you…”
800This is what we are talking about. Women love intrigue, and if you can give her the feeling that the
801two of you are going to enter into a conspiracy together, an intrigue, just the two of you against the
802world… well, this is a very magnetic and leading dynamic.
803Go watch ‘Casino Royale’ again. There is a scene there Daniel Craig invites a woman to have a
804drink at his place. She stares at him, and he holds the gaze. This is a knowing, a strength, a 
805masculine non-apology for the invitation. There was no hint of anything like “Would you like to get
806a coffee with me?”
807Two more movies:
808‘The Tailor of Panama’… Watch how Pierce Brosnan talks in sub-text to the woman he works with
809at the Embassy. Very electric, with just a hint of danger.
810‘The Thomas Crowne Affair’… Again, watch the interaction between Pierce Brosnan and Rene
811Russo. Look at the way he looks at her, and the way he smiles at her. Conspiracy all the way!
812Finally, you can start reading a little bit more about it here.
813Day 31 - Your Mission
814Go into the rest of the week and create a conspiracy with 10 women.
815Approach or date new women.
816Reconsider the way you relate to the women in your life.
817Do the same thing you did in the previous weeks, incorporating all the themes from before. And
818also incorporate this new concept of masculine edge through the creation of conspiracy – smiling,
819winking, sub-communication – everything that makes up the mystique of men.
820First of all, focus carefully on the intent behind the things you say. Empathy is the number one thing
821to concentrate on. And never stray from the spirit of humor and invitation and charm and ease and
822delight as you practice adding in your masculine edge. Always make sure you show your genuine
823love and curiosity for women.
824For at least 5 of the 10 women you encounter, say this phrase exactly: “… you should run away
825with me!”
826For example, as an opening: “Wow, I like your (dress|lipstick|hat|smile). You look fantastic… you
827should run away with me!”
828Or during the middle of the conversation: “Wow, I have never met a girl from Hawaii before… I
829like it! You should run away with me!”
830Use your imagination, but include that phrase!
831And as you know already, do not have any trace of seriousness in you at all. Smile and wink, like
832you are just kidding. Put a sparkle in your eye.
833Having fun, smiling, … smile and wink.
834Concentrate on the intent behind what you are saying. Don’t look for any result.
835Ease and delight!
836And for the other 5 girls of the 10 you encounter, use your intuition and be a little more sexual.
837With absolute kindness and respect, of course!
838Say exactly this phrase:
839“Look at you… you’re a bad girl… I like it!”
840For instance: “Look at you in that incredible dress… wow… you’re a bad girl… I like it!”
841And lastly, if any of these ten women tells you that she has a boyfriend, do not skip a beat! You
842must not change your facial expression or your body language or your hand gestures or your smile 
843at all.
844Instead say this: “Wow, does this mean we are going to have to be secret lovers? Wow… I don’t
845know…”
846Smile, wink.
847Remember, nothing but empathy…
848Remember also, that the words we suggest you say are not the end all. In fact, they are nothing but a
849vehicle for the spirit of masculine edge as they were a vehicle for the spirit of curiosity, invitations,
850celebrating her and ease and delight.
851More important than what you say and what you do is the spirit you inhabit when you say what you
852say and do what you do.
853These words are a vehicle for the spirit of masculine edge in the sense that speaking these words are
854a training tool to start feeling the spirit we talk about.
855Day 32 - Reminder
856Create a conspiracy with 10 women.
857Approach or date new women.
858Reconsider the way you relate to the women in your life.
859For at least 5 of the 10 women you encounter, say this phrase exactly: “… you should run away
860with me!”
861Day 33 - Reminder
862For the other 5 girls of the 10 you encounter, use your intuition and be a little more sexual. With
863absolute kindness and respect, of course!
864Say exactly this phrase:
865“Look at you… you’re a bad girl… I like it!”
866For instance: “Look at you in that incredible dress… wow… you’re a bad girl… I like it!”
867Day 34 - Reminder
868If any of these ten women tells you that she has a boyfriend, do not skip a beat! You must not
869change your facial expression or your body language or your hand gestures or your smile at all.
870Instead say this: “Wow, does this mean we are going to have to be secret lovers? Wow… I don’t
871know…”
872Smile, wink.
873Remember, nothing but empathy…
874Day 35 - Debrief and Food For Thought
875While the main part of this program is about becoming a charming man, becoming aware of and
876displaying a lower moving energy is an essential ingredient of an integrated man. It cannot be
877underestimated and it is the number one thing that most of us men are missing.
878Your masculine edge, your sexual desire, or anything you feel passionate and strong about is the
879element in you that will take you from being a charming man to being a magnetic man. It is the
880ingredient that makes you a woman’s fantasy, and it should be the first thing in the room when you
881enter.
882Having said that, masculine edge is very hard to explain. It is something you will start recognizing
883and celebrating when interacting and relating to women.
884A good way to summarize how masculine edge shows up in your relationship to women is
885CONSPIRACY. A man conspiring with a woman. Conspiracy is symptomatic for your
886understanding of women.
887Decide to start picking up signals from women and you will start seeing them. You will start
888recognizing the rhythm and flow … the dance … the sub-communication. Once you recognize that
889language, you can start speaking it. You can start creating it. You can create conspiracy with your
890words … but they are less needed than you think. A look, a touch, or the mere projection of your
891energy …
892Masculine edge is a very complicated and very personal part of your attractive traits. You need to
893explore how it looks to you. Decide to become aware of what masculine edge means to you. Decide
894also to explore how it shows up in your relationship with women — try to pick up on the subcommunication
895of women and explore how you can create conspiracy with her.
896It is a life-long journey, but once you start seeing this, complete new worlds open up – and they are
897wonderful worlds!
898If you really want to explore Masculine Edge, then enroll in the next Way of the Amorati –
899Advanced.
900In the meantime, these questions will help you lock in the learning and steer the conversation about
901masculine edge:
9021.   Did you consciously try to put more magnetism into your interactions this week?
9032.   How did it make you feel when you projected this energy?
9043.   What were the outward manifestations of this?
9054.   How did she react? Did it surprise you?
9065.   What did you learn from this mission?
9076.   Do you think that projecting sexual energy is a conscious act of making your intentions
908verbally explicit or of not hiding your intentions?
9097.   Should you give your masculine edge to women you are not romantically interested in?
9108.   Can you see how giving a woman the gift of desiring her is the culmination of the Ars Amorata
911philosophy?
912
913
914
915Week 6 - Your Way
916Day 36 - Words of Wisdom
917We started this journey with the most important mission: the Amorati Ritual and your List.
918We started this journey by urging you to start a list of what you want your life to look like, because
919knowing what you want and connecting to the feeling of having what you want is the most
920important issue in becoming a more charming man and a more magnetic man.
921If you know what you want, and you make no excuses for it, communicating that to the world
922around you is secondary and almost automatic. If you know what you want, you’ll give yourself the
923freedom to be yourself. If you know what you want, you’ll give the others the freedom to be
924themselves and express themselves. If you know what you want, you’ll stop worrying about what
925others think of you. If you know what you want, the “how” will take care of itself, and you’ll attract
926the things you deserve.
927The core of charm and of magnetism is knowing what you want, and women are attracted to men
928who know what they want, who are unapologetic for trying to get what they want; men who are
929passionate about taking the next step into getting what they want.
930Women are attracted by men with purpose, by men who are on an adventure. Women are attracted
931by men with a mission, men with vision. Women are attracted by men who are on their way.
932Women want to go on an adventure with purposeful men … but they do not want to be the
933adventure. Too often, men forget this. Too often, guys live purposeful lives, but as soon as that
934woman enters their lives, SHE becomes his purpose. She becomes the adventure.
935There is no surer way to kill the attraction.
936Too often you see guys shifting their attention from what they are passionate about (the reason she’s
937attracted to him) to her and only her (the reason she loses her attraction). It’s just too much pressure
938for her.
939A woman does not want to be the adventure – she wants to be taken on an adventure.
940Day 37 - Further Explanation
941Your authentic self is your attractive self.
942This program is not meant to show you the right way. It talks about the premises of love and
943seduction, but they are only tools to find your authentic way to meeting, dating and relating to
944women.
945Nobody should try to be Zan, or Hans. You have to find your own way. The more you learn about a
946certain way, the more you should become in accord with your own.
947You have to carve your own way, your own approach to meeting, dating and relating to women.
948Finding your authenticity is what this program is all about.
949Finding your authentic approach to approaching, to dating, to relating, to love, to seduction, …
950Finding your authentic self, finding your attractive self and maximizing it.
951We introduced this program with the concept of designing our life through the Amorati Ritual –
952discovering what you want your life to look like, not making excuses for it, and taking the first step
953forward to that new way of experiencing the world.
954Finding out who you are, what you want and where you want your life to go.
955Finding your authenticity.
956Finding out what is real to you.
957Finding your truth and speaking it to the world.
958Finding your authenticity and finding better ways to speak your truth and how to project yourself
959into the world and make genuine connections.
960Your authentic self is your attractive self. It is the part of you that is led by your higher self, the part
961of you that aspires to excellence and to making this world better.
962You are already resourceful, complete and whole. You are already attractive. You just need to find
963the qualities that are authentic to you, the qualities that make you attractive, and maximize them.
964Find your attractive self and speak it to the world. You can become aware and add other elements to
965make you even more attractive, but you already have everything to be completely attractive.
966To find that authenticity and attractive self we have pushed you out of your comfort zone.
967To find you and what works for you we have asked you to push the envelope.
968We have given you a tools to go out there and experiment, to become curious of what lies outside of
969your comfort zone and to act despite your doubts and fears.
970We have given you the best tools to craft your authentic approach to seduction.
971You were put in situations that you felt you were not ready for, but it is the only way to find your
972authenticity, to find your attractive self and maximize it.
973Everything you desire is outside of your comfort zone… otherwise you would already have it.
974To go out there, with the tools of curiosity, invitations, celebrating, masculine edge… with ease and
975delight, with empathy is the only way to find your authentic self, your attractive self and find out
976what works for you.
977This is a never ending journey and the only one that matters.
978Finding one’s own authenticity. How do you know when you find something that is true to you,
979authentic and that works for you? You cannot fake it – you just know when you see it.
980So get out there and live life fully – go and reveal your authenticity to the world, find your attractive
981self and speak it to the world. The world needs more of you and the time is now.
982Day 38 - Your Mission
983Finding your authenticity is what this program is all about. Carving your authentic approach to
984meeting, dating and relating to women.
985And only by moving in the land of women will you begin to become better with women.
986Why not combine both?
987Go and have 5 conversations with women this week about authenticity.
988What does authenticity mean to you? What does authenticity mean to her? Sit in the questions with
989her and explore them with her.
990Tell another 5 women: “I am a student of life, and I seek more excellence in my interactions with
991women.”
992Then talk about authenticity. Talk about authenticity, honesty, vulnerability, intimacy… Talk to her
993also about curiosity, about invitations, and about celebrations. Talk about this program. All with
994ease and delight and wonderment.
995If you feel like it, ask her what you think would be your most attractive trait. You’ll be amazed at
996the answers you get.
997Tell 5 women: “We have been talking for 5 minutes, and women are very intuitive about men. que
998is, according to you, my most attractive trait?”
999Go in with the intention of finding your authenticity, and do not try to hide whatever your intentions
1000are. Show her that you are sitting in the question, that you want to find out… talk about true
1001connections and how we connect in our brokenness.
1002You can say the phrase literally. Tell 5 women: “Men and women connect in their brokenness.”
1003Get really interested in your authenticity and in the authenticity of the woman across from you.
1004Shortcut the chit-chat and speak directly to her heart. Hold yourself and her to this higher standard.
1005If you get into chit-chat, say: “Let’s skip the chit-chat… I want to know who this woman sitting
1006across from me really is. Tell me something interesting about you.” These conversations will help
1007you to find out your authenticity.
1008Remember: no seriousness, but genuine wonder and ease and delight!
1009Day 39 - Reminder
1010Go and have 5 conversations with women this week about authenticity.
1011What does authenticity mean to you? What does authenticity mean to her? Sit in the questions with
1012her and explore them with her.
1013Remember ease and delight!
1014Day 40 - Reminder
1015Tell 5 women: “I am a student of life, and I seek more excellence in my interactions with women.”
1016Then talk about authenticity. Talk about authenticity, honesty, vulnerability, intimacy… Talk to her
1017also about curiosity, about invitations, and about celebrations. Talk about this program. All with
1018ease and delight and wonderment.
1019If you feel like it, ask her what you think would be your most attractive trait. You’ll be amazed at
1020the answers you get.
1021Day 41 - Reminder
1022Tell 5 women: “We have been talking for 5 minutes, and women are very intuitive about men. que
1023is, according to you, my most attractive trait?”
1024Go in with the intention of finding your authenticity, and do not try to hide whatever your intentions
1025are. Show her that you are sitting in the question, that you want to find out… talk about true
1026connections and how we connect in our brokenness.
1027Remember: no seriousness, but genuine wonder and ease and delight!
1028Day 42 - Debrief And Food For Thoughts
1029Authenticity, and your authentic desire is a concept that is very hard to explain.
1030In fact, it cannot really be explained since it is a very personal issue. Nobody can tell you how your
1031authenticity looks. Nobody can tell you what your authentic desire looks like. It is your authenticity,
1032your honesty, your vulnerability, your intimacy,…
1033It all comes down to who you are today and what you want your life to look like. Questions that
1034need to be answered by YOU.
1035It is through practice, through experiences in the land of women, that you will develop your
1036authenticity, your authentic approach to love and seduction, to approaching, dating and relating.
1037You have to carve your own way.
1038All we did this week was raise some issues, raise some questions, raise some awareness to guide
1039you along this journey towards YOUR AUTHENTICITY.
1040Evidently, the journey does not stop today – the journey does not stop at the end of this program –
1041that journey never ends! If there is one thing we want to affect you with it is our excitement to be on 
1042this journey. It is probably the most important transformation you can go through. It is probably the
1043most important CHOICE you can make. As soon as you embrace this journey with ease and delight
1044you will have arrived.
1045The only sense of arrival you will ever get is to know you are on the right track, and as soon as you
1046embrace this journey with ease and delight, every day of the rest of your life will be a beautiful day.
1047If you want to know what is next on this journey, then consider the Way of the Amorati – Advanced.
1048Day 43 - The Amorati
1049As you have come towards the end of the Way of the Amorati – Fundamentals, we want to invite
1050you to become a member of the Amorati.
1051The next item will explain how you can become one of the Amorati; first, we want to tell you a little
1052bit about this world wide close-knit fraternity.
1053Previously, a man could only become one of the Amorati if he had met us in person, but this has
1054changed. This has changed because we have been listening to all of you and realize that we need to
1055honor the commitment to excellence that the guys all over the world want to make – a commitment
1056to excellence in their lives and in their relationship with women. Making it to the end of the Way of
1057the Amorati – Fundamentals shows that commitment.
1058So this is an official invitation to you to become a member of our worldwide organization, the
1059Amorati. What’s the cost? Nothing. It is simply our way of honoring your commitment to the Way
1060of the Amorati and staying connected with you guys who love the Ars Amorata philosophy.
1061Being one of the Amorati is first and foremost a commitment to more excellence, and so, if you are
1062still as committed as you were when you started the Way of the Amorati – Fundamentals, we want
1063to honor that commitment, and make you one of the Amorati today.
1064There are four levels of Amorati membership, depending on the commitment level to living one’s
1065life in accordance with the Ars Amorata philosophy.
1066The four levels of the Amorati are:
10671.    Amorati
10682.    Amorati Ambassador
10693.    Amorati Elite
10704.    Amorati Executive
1071In essence, the progression of commitment goes like this: Speaking > Doing > Being. A simple
1072metaphor is this: The Amorati have pledged allegiance to the cause, the Amorati Ambassadors are
1073actively building and supplying the ships, and the Amorati Elite are the ones out there in the ships,
1074binding themselves to the mast and, like Edmond from the Count of Monte Cristo, crying out into
1075the storm, “Do your worst! For I will do mine!”
1076Overiew:
1077The Amorati are lovers of women. The Amorati are lovers of life. The Amorati are treasure hunters
1078and raconteurs. The Amorati are on a lifelong quest for beauty and adventure. The Amorati believe
1079in the rebirth of romance.
1080Amorati:
1081A man becomes a member of the Amorati when he has committed to living his life in accordance
1082with the Ars Amorata philosophy, however he manifests that. We are proud to call these men our
1083friends and peers because of their commitment to more excellence in their lives and in their
1084relationships with women.
1085Benefits of the Amorati:
1086•       The Amorati package
1087•       Connected to the conversation
1088•       Connected to the international brotherhood of men
1089•       Member of the Amorati Facebook group
1090•       Open invitation to all free Amorati Retreats
1091•       First option for limited seats at all Ars Amorata paid events
1092•       25% discount for all Ars Amorata events
1093•       Permission to use the trademarked title “Amorati” (on business cards, websites, etc)
1094•       Permission to use the trademarked Amorati logo (on business cards, websites, etc)
1095Amorati Ambassadors:
1096The Amorati Ambassadors have taken that initial commitment of words and extended it into actions,
1097from speaking to doing. These men have personally contributed their time and energy to the
1098advancement of the Ars Amorata message in a significant way, and thus are honored with the title of
1099Ambassador.
1100Benefits of the Amorati Ambassador:
1101•       Everything already offered to the Amorati, plus:
1102•       Member of the Amorati Ambassador Facebook group
1103•       100% discount to all Ars Amorata events (space permitting)
1104•       Open invitation to all Amorati Ambassador Retreats
1105•       An active role in the discussion of the future of the Amorati network
1106Amorati Elite:
1107The Elite are the exemplars, the heroes, the role models of the entire Amorati alliance. Their
1108commitment goes even further than words and actions. Their commitment is to a life of beauty, and
1109their dedication to and embodiment of the Ars Amorata philosophy is manifest for all to see.
1110These men are hand-picked – mostly from the ranks of the Amorati but sometimes from outside of
1111the alliance. They come from all walks of life. Some are itinerant adventurers and travelers. Some
1112are at home raising a family. But every one of these men exemplify what it means to live and 
1113breathe the principles of the Ars Amorata philosophy. These men have women of beauty in their
1114life. They are always looking at the larger vision, always looking to the distant horizon of
1115possibilities. They are teachers and leaders in their own right. And they are, by their very nature,
1116actively pushing the conceptual and philosophical boundaries of the Ars Amorata message itself…
1117the art of love.
1118Benefits of the Amorati Elite:
1119•       Everything already offered to the Amorati and the Amorati Ambassadors, plus:
1120•       Being a member of the Amorati Elite!
1121Amorati Executive:
1122The Amorati Executive serve as our direct advisers, working closely with us in shaping the future of
1123the Amorati alliance around the world. Who are the members? You will know when you are in it!
1124*** A note about our “Invitations Only” door policy:
1125It is not easy to advance up the the levels of the Amorati. We will maintain a strict door policy, even
1126reserving the right to demote a member under certain circumstances. What are those circumstances?
1127A violation of the Four Agreements, which are:
11281.    Ease and Delight
11292.    Beauty and Order
11303.    Curiosity and Empathy
11314.    Invitations Only
1132I will also say this: The more questions you ask us about how to advance to the next level, the less
1133we are inclined to feel you are ready to advance!
1134Steps to Becoming an Amotati
1135This is the process you will need to go through in order to be considered for inclusion in the
1136Amorati…
1137Step 1) Commit to the following:
11381.    I commit to fully embrace my masculine edge and proclaim my love for women
11392.    I commit to being a leader on this earth from this day forward
11403.    I commit to living in accordance with the principles of the Ars Amorata philosophy, however I
1141choose to manifest it
1142Step 2) Apply for Amorati membership by going to the Amorati facebook page:
1143Upon reviewing your application, we may accept your application for membership in the Amorati.
1144You will receive a link to the comprehensive Amorati Welcome Package, which will give you much
1145more information about the benefits of membership.
1146Step 3) Stay connected!
1147Stay active in the great Amorati discussion on Facebook. Come to future Amorati General
1148Conferences and Retreats around the world. Connect with fellow Amorati in your area or as you 
1149travel. Again, we are excited to offer you these things and we look forward to welcoming you into
1150the ranks of the Amorati – the network of men who “get it”.
1151Day 44 Debrief From Hans
1152We started this journey with the most important mission: The Amorati Ritual … YOUR List.
1153We started this journey by urging you to start a list of what you want your life to look like, because
1154knowing what you want and connecting to the feeling of having what you want is the most
1155important issue in becoming a more charming man and a more magnetic man.
1156If you know what you want, and you make no excuses for it, communicating that to the world
1157around you is secondary and almost automatic. If you know what you want, you’ll give yourself the
1158freedom to be yourself. If you know what you want, you’ll give the others the freedom to be
1159themselves and express themselves. If you know what you want, you’ll stop worrying about what
1160others think of you.
1161How do you manifest your passion? Move towards it by eliminating what you don’t want in your
1162life. Don’t do what you wouldn’t do and if choices come up, choose in line with what you’re sure
1163off and towards where you want to go (higher self) – choose away from your doubts and towards
1164what you want your life to look like.
1165Since you made it to the end of this course, and from this day forward for as long as you keep
1166aspiring to more excellence in your life and in your relationships with women, you belong to a
1167network of men. As long as you are committed, you have the world wide network of Amorati at
1168your disposal.
1169It’s your choice where you want to go next and what you want to use to take the next step. It is your
1170choice which tools you want to use to project yourself more authentically into this world. You have
1171to develop your authentic approach to approaching, dating, relating, to love, to romance, to
1172seduction.
1173The important thing we want you to capture is that you have taken your life (and your love-life)
1174back into your hands.
1175You have taken the red pill and there’s no way back. You have started a process of awareness and
1176change that will get you always closer to what you want. This journey has now become a deliberate,
1177conscious process in which you take joy and pride.
1178What is NEXT for you?
11791. Contribute to our Amorati facebook group. Since you made it to the end of this program, you are
1180eligible to become one of the Amorati. Request membership to the group on facebook, and we will
1181add you to the group. Make sure you read and understand the AMORATI PACKAGE before you
1182start asking a bunch of questions.
11832. If you have not done so, befriend me on facebook. Send me a request and a message. In the
1184message, say “I finished the Way of the Amorati – Fundamentals”.
11853. If you think you are ready to take it to the next level, then enroll in the Way of the Amorati –
1186Advanced.
1187So this is not the end; it is the beginning … the beginning of something big … if you are willing to
1188take that responsibility and contribute.
1189Onwards gentlemen!
1190Hans Comyn
1191Day 45 - Debrief From Zan
1192The circle is round … the aspects of charm and magnetism are laid on the table like an open
1193toolbox. They are available to you in your journey towards your authenticity. This is what the Way
1194of the Amorati – Fundamentals has been about since the very first day. Above all, this is a leadership
1195program. Above all, this has been a journey toward your authentic desire.
1196Ask yourself this question every day: “What do I really want?”
1197The ultimate motivator in life is our authentic desire. It is the grand unifier, the author and finisher
1198of our faith.
1199You may be thinking, “I don’t know my authentic desire in life.” Well, you do now. Follow your
1200bliss!
1201Listen carefully, for this will clear everything for you about your future. Your authentic desire in life
1202is to live the life of an Amorati. All the principles we have discussed here are your authentic desire
1203in life. How you manifest these principles is up to you.
1204You might want a family. You might want to be great in business. You might want to have a certain
1205career. You might even want to slip the surly bonds of earth as I have, and become a nomad, a
1206Johnny Appleseed.
1207It doesn’t matter how you choose to manifest your authentic desire. Your authentic desire is to
1208imbue everything you say and do in this life with the belief that you have what it takes. Teach
1209others. Go and do thou likewise.
1210Zan Perrion
1211
1212
1213
1214
1215Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1216Tags: Masculine edge Pausing Rite of passage Mindfulness
1217Zan Perrion Lesson
1218Rite of Passage
1219Once upon a time, we believed in ceremony. We used to take time to pause.
1220To pause our lives and consider. And wonder. Everything we did had
1221meaning. Everything we did was imbued with ceremony. We used to stop
1222and give thanks for our meals. We used to spend our evenings gathered
1223around a fire, telling stories. We used to be curious about others and listen.
1224We used to listen and talk, being mindful of the day.
1225We paused. We believed. We believed in ceremony. And we have lost this
1226from the earth. We no longer have ceremony in our lives, we no longer have
1227mindfulness, we no longer have quiet contemplation. We no longer gather
1228together to tell the stories of our day. We no longer take time to pause and
1229wonder. To wonder about our lives, to wonder about our future.
1230We used to have ceremonies to mark the occasions of our lives, to celebrate,
1231for instance, the transition from boys to men.
1232We never had a rite of passage from boys to men. There is no real delineation
1233between the time when we were boys and the time when we are men. All
1234societies used to have some kind of rite of passage for their boys. The Lakota
1235Sioux, for example, had a Vision Quest, where a boy would go on a personal,
1236spiritual journey alone in the wilderness for days. He was told, “Go, stand in
1237the wind, and learn to speak your name.” He would go out alone for a
1238number of days, scared, hungry, excited... and when he returned, they would
1239say to him "Now... you can come stand with the men."
1240Girls automatically have a rite of passage because they get their menstrual
1241cycle. When they notice that first hint of blood, they are scared, worried,
1242excited, and exhilarated all at once, because now they are women, and now
1243they are shy and now they are proud.
1244But us? Where is our Vision Quest? When did we ever take time to go off
1245alone into a wilderness and consider who we are and what we want in this
1246life? We played computer games in our room when we were boys and we
1247never quit. We were little boys playing with toys, and now we are simply boys
1248pretending to be men. And what's more, we are playing but not having fun
1249anymore!
1250If you resonate with this at all, then consider this 90 Day Transformation
1251program your ceremony, your rite of passage to the land of men.
1252~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
1253Question :
1254What does YOUR Vision Quest look like? How does becoming
1255more of man look to YOU?
1256Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1257Tags: Rite of passage
1258Hans Comyn
1259Let this be your Vision Quest. Let these 90 days be your rite of passage.
1260
1261
1262
1263Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1264Tags: Pausing Mindfulness Designing
1265Zan Perrion Assignment
1266The Amorati Ritual
1267Your first mission is the most important one of the entire program, and it is
1268something that you must take care to do every single day throughout the 90
1269days.
1270It is called the Amorati Ritual.
1271This ritual is critically important to your success. It is what all Amorati do,
1272and it is what keeps us moving toward lives of excellence. As such, it is
1273imperative that your commitment is to make it the highest priority of every
1274single day. It is not hard to do, and it doesn't take much time.
1275Here is the Amorati Ritual:
1276A) Find a moment where you can sit down in a quiet with a piece of paper
1277and write out the things you want for your life. This can be anything that has
1278real meaning to you. In other words, pause and consider how you want your
1279life to look, and write down the essence of that vision.
1280B) Every morning when you awake, take time to be still. Even five minutes is
1281better than nothing. No matter how busy your day might be, sit quietly and
1282consider your life. Ask "Who am I today?" Ask "What do I want my life to
1283look like?" Sit quietly with your list. If anything needs to change or adjust on
1284your list from day to day, then feel free to change it. After all it is your list,
1285and so it needs to be relevant for you.
1286C) Sit and quietly consider the things on your list. Repeat this quiet time
1287every day as the last thing you do for the day.
1288D) And now this is the most important part. Visualize it as if it was true
1289today! As you read each item on your list, close your eyes and try to imagine
1290how you would feel if the thing on your list was already true today. How
1291would you feel? Try to actually inhabit that emotion, like it was true today,
1292and you knew it. As you sit with your eyes closed, try to experience the same
1293sense of euphoria or peace that you would have if you knew it was already
1294true.
1295It is important to envision it with as much intensity and as vividly as you
1296can. In other words, imagine all the little details. Smell the smells, feel it in
1297your hands, etc.
1298For instance, if one of the items on your list is to write a book, imagine how
1299you would feel if you saw the book on the shelf of a book store today.
1300Imagine how it would feel picking it up, opening it up, smelling the pages,
1301everything. Imagine watching the people walk by and looking at your book.
1302Imagine your secret joy of standing and watching and "willing" those people
1303to stop and pick up your book. Imagine everything in as much detail as you
1304possibly can. And really feel those emotions.
1305This step of imagining each thing on your list as if it was real today might
1306seem time consuming, but it can be as short as a minute or two for each
1307item. As long as you get the sense of emotions that you would have if you
1308knew it was already absolutely true today.
1309E) Then all day long, think about your list as often as you can. If something
1310bad happens, simply "recover" to the knowledge that, no matter what, you
1311have your list.
1312F) Never think about how the things on your list will become true for your
1313life. In other words, do not ever consider "how". "How" does not matter at
1314all, because "how" will take care of itself.
1315G) This process is yours and yours alone. So never tell anyone, no matter
1316how close to you, what you are doing. This is really important. Never tell
1317anyone that you have a list, or the things that are on your list. This is yours
1318alone! The only people that will know that you even are doing this daily
1319practice are your brothers here. And even then, keep the details of your list
1320for only yourself.
1321H) Say this phrase to yourself all day long: "Everything and everyone
1322prospers me now". Repeat it as often as you can throughout the day and
1323throughout the 90 days. And consider how important this phrase truly is. It
1324means that no matter what happens to you today or who you meet or spend
1325time with, it is going to benefit in you in some way. In other words , that
1326person or circumstance is part of what is going to make the things on your
1327list a reality!
1328That is it. It sounds way more complicated the way I wrote it than it actually
1329is. It could be simply summarized as: write down what you want, imagine the
1330things you wrote as if they were absolutely true today, and how that would
1331make you feel, do this morning and night, think about it all day long, and
1332don't tell anyone what you are doing. Simple, really.
1333Remember, this is not a to-do list. It is not a list of items that you expect or
1334need to check off during the 90 days. It is simply a list of the essence of the
1335the things you want for your life. And also remember, you can't do this
1336wrong. If there is something you desire for your life, write it down. Your list
1337will always be changing.
1338The Amorati Ritual is a daily ritual. It is a tool to make you pause... and a
1339tool to put your mind into a receptive state for all the opportunities that
1340come your way.
1341And another thing, don't think it is enough to just do a list in your head. And
1342do not do it on a computer. The act of physically writing it down and keeping
1343that paper close to you is very important. There is something very mindful
1344and visceral in the act of creating the words with your hands.
1345The Amorati Ritual is your first mission as a practitioner of the arcane art
1346called The Ars Amorata.
1347~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
1348Assignment
1349Question 1
1350How does doing the Amorati Ritual affect your day?
1351Answer required
1352Upload or Insert:
1353Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1354Tags: Grace Mindfulness
1355Hans Comyn
1356Be mindful today, of your day, of the food you eat, your surroundings, the people
1357you meet, the time you have.
1358Grace
1359Wake up and pause. Consider who you are today and what you want your life to look like. Set
1360intention for the day. Shower, brush your teeth, be aware of your movements. Get completely dressed. Watch the sun
1361come up over the hills. Be grateful for this day. Make your bed. Walk down the stairs with deliberate steps. Greet the
1362people you are living with. Make some coffee. Make breakfast. Invite the others to share it with you. Say grace. Ask
1363them about their upcoming day. Eat slowly. Clean up the kitchen. Remember your authentic desire, what you truly
1364love. Remember your purpose, your calling. Pace yourself. Count your blessings. Start working at a set time. Be
1365completely focused. Be good in what you are doing. Functional beauty. Use your words wisely. Be kind and polite,
1366elegant and decisive. Make no excuses. Remain purposeful. Enjoy your journey, enjoy every moment. Feel the rhythm.
1367Embrace the ceremony. Respect the ritual. Close off your day. Leave no trace. Have grace.
1368~ Hans Comyn
1369
1370
1371
1372Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1373Tags: Pausing Intention Mindfulness Designing
1374Zan Perrion Discussion
1375Setting Intention
1376Your Amorati Ritual and your List will help you set intention for the day.
1377What a gift it is to be still! Of all the things a man can do to create a life of
1378purpose, taking time each day to be still is the greatest. The Amorati Ritual is
1379setting intention for your day. To start each day with intention is the greatest
1380thing you can do to design the life you desire, the life you deserve. Take time
1381every day to be still, to pause, and set intention for that day. First thing.
1382Before you rush out, before you dive into the current of your day, pause.
1383Start your day with intention.
1384When you wake up, consider this day. Morning is a promise. Everything you
1385desire is contained in this day. This day. On this morning, you get to choose.
1386You get to choose how your day is going to look. You get to choose how your
1387life is going to go. Take time every morning to ask yourself, “What is it I
1388really want? Who am I today? What does it mean to be me today?”
1389Imagine this future you vividly, in color, smell the smells around you, hear
1390the sounds. Picture this future you, and then today, on this day, start heading
1391toward that vision. No matter what the cost. No matter what your family
1392thinks, no matter what your friends think, no matter what your co-workers
1393think. Instead ask “What is needed for me?” We spend our lives following the
1394“proper” path, we make sure every one is happy with our decisions. Stop
1395making others comfortable.
1396To pause and write down who you are and what you want your life to look
1397like, and to visualize that list sets your intention for the day. If you know
1398what you want your life to look like, that provides the intention you can set
1399for the day. You do not need to focus on how and you do not need to set up a
1400plan ... focus on the what and the how will take care of itself. Focusing on
1401WHAT you want will provide you the intention.
1402The Amorati Ritual is a daily ritual that helps you start and go through every
1403day of your life mindfully.
1404~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
1405Discussion
1406Question 1
1407On your first morning after the Amorati Ritual assignment, how
1408hard/easy was it for you to take the time to pause and be still?
1409Answer required
14101. Impossible
14112. Hard
14123. Took some effort
14134. Easy
1414Question 2
1415How did that affect your day?
1416Answer required
1417Upload or Insert:
1418Question 3
1419What would you advise your brothers to make it easier to do the
1420Amorati Ritual on a daily basis?
1421Answer required
1422Upload or Insert:
1423
1424Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1425Tags: Apply Intention
1426Hans Comyn
1427Use your list and each day's lesson as a tool to help you set intention for the day.
1428Apply the day's lesson in your daily activities.
1429
1430
1431Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1432Tags: Grace
1433Zan Perrion
1434Morning is a promise. Everything you desire is contained in this day.
1435Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1436Tags: Visualizing Seizing opportunities Designing
1437Hans Comyn Lesson
1438Visualizing Makes You Seize the Opportunities
1439We make lists of goals or resolutions, writing down all kinds of promises to
1440ourselves - to get in shape, to get a girlfriend, to make more money, to get a
1441better career, etc.
1442The problem with these types of goals is that as soon as we write them down,
1443we then try to figure out HOW we are going to make everything on the list
1444happen. We make a plan. We make a step-by-step plan to get to our goal.
1445This is how we set ourselves up for failure. We focus on the how, instead of
1446focusing all our attention on the what. And with every step we add, we add
1447another opportunity to fail. We are so attached to a certain way, to our goals
1448and to every step of our plan, that we miss the subtle shifts and changes that
1449are required from us to explore new possibilities. We miss the opportunities.
1450Thus we feel we have failed in our goals and, ultimately, once again failed
1451ourselves.
1452So let's forget the way we have done things before, and approach this
1453learning process with a beginner's mind. Instead of trying so hard to live a
1454life of meaning, we are simply going to pause every morning to consider what
1455we want our life to look like - throughout this 90 day program. We are going
1456to pause, be still and visualize what we want our life to look like.
1457Focus on the what by visualizing what you want your life to look like.
1458As you read each item on your list, close your eyes and try to imagine how
1459you would feel if the thing on your list was already true today. To envision it
1460with as much intensity and as vividly as you can.
1461To visualize the items on your list prepares your mind. It prepares your mind
1462to be ready whenever opportunities come along. To visualize makes our mind
1463ready to see the subtle shifts and changes that are required from us to
1464explore new possibilities. To visualize makes us seize the opportunities that
1465come along our path of what we want our life to look like. You will start
1466noticing that opportunities are everywhere!
1467If you visualize what you want your life to look like, the how will take care of
1468itself. Focus on the what and the how will take care of itself.
1469~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
1470Question:
1471What opportunities did you see today? Did you seize them?
1472
1473
1474Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1475Tags: Intention Designing Choice
1476Hans Comyn Lesson
1477Choice
1478The German philosopher Max Sheler saw in CHOICE the main characteristic
1479of being HUMAN.
1480Animals react to their environment. They are dependent on it and see the
1481whole world as a set of stimuli coming their way, and to which they have to
1482react, ...
1483Humans have a "world-openness"; they are much less dependent on their
1484surroundings and they have the power to say "NO". If nothing else, humans
1485have the choice between "yes" and "no". You can accept an invitation or
1486decline it, you can accept something as true or false, you can choose to act
1487upon a certain thought or not ...
1488You have the choice. You have the freedom of choice and the responsibility to
1489choose.
1490When you choose, when you do this simple step, you will stop reacting and
1491start acting. When you realize you have the choice of what you want your life
1492to look like, and you embrace that choice, you will start living a deliberate,
1493mindful life. The choice of what you want your life to look like will give you
1494the intention for today. You will stop hoping that your past will change or
1495merely wishing the future will be better; instead, you will be responsible for
1496your life right now - in this moment – and start to design your life from that
1497moment forward. You will start setting intention today. The rest of your life
1498starts NOW.
1499As soon as you realize and embrace the choice you have of what you want
1500your life to look like, you are setting intention - you are creating instead of
1501reacting.
1502Choose choice now.
1503~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
1504Question:
1505Are you ready to embrace the choice you have every step of the
1506way? Are you ready to accept that freedom and take that
1507responsibility? How do you choose to move forward in this life
1508from this day forward?
1509Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1510Tags: Designing Choice
1511Hans Comyn
1512Each moment you have the power to say NO. You have the choice between YES
1513and NO. You have the freedom and responsibility to choose.
1514
1515
1516Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1517Tags: Masculine edge Renounce Act Anyway Designing
1518Zan Perrion Lesson
1519Stop Hoping Your Past Will Change
1520Stop hoping your past will change. It never will.
1521Instead, learn to make friends with it. Realize that this is your old story. For
1522too long we have been making excuses for our life in the context of our past.
1523Stop telling your old story. Stop asking and finding answers to why the past
1524has shaped you into the person you are today.
1525The past is always created in the present.
1526Remember always that everything that has happened to you in your past has
1527created the person you are today. All the good things and all the bad things
1528in your life have created you, the way you are now, your ideas, your dreams,
1529your personality. All of it. Obviously there must me something in that past
1530that brought you here today ... amidst this league of gentlemen.
1531So stop hoping your past will change. Your past has brought you here today,
1532so allow yourself to make peace with it.
1533Your Old Story does not have to have any bearing on how you want your life
1534to look. Your Old Story does not have to have any bearing on you NOW if
1535you choose to.
1536~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
1537Question:
1538Now that you had a couple of more days to think about who you
1539are and what you want your life to look like: What is your Old
1540Story? What is it you want to RENOUNCE during this 90 Day
1541Transformation?
1542By describing here what you want to renounce you are committing to us and
1543your brothers to do so. We will hold you accountable for the commitment
1544you are making here.
1545Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1546Tags: Designing
1547Hans Comyn
1548You are already whole and complete. You do not have a problem that needs
1549solving. You need to maximize YOU and your attractive traits.
1550
1551
1552Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1553Tags: Grace
1554Hans Comyn
1555If you are already trying to seek more excellence in this life, you can forgive yourself
1556every 'mistake' you think you make. Can you forgive yourself?
1557Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1558Tags: Grace Mindfulness
1559Hans Comyn Lesson
1560Everything and Everyone Prospers Me Now
1561The affirmation we have used for years is "Everything and everyone prospers
1562me now".
1563Say this to yourself everyday, all day long. What it means is that every thing
1564that happens in your life and every person you meet will add to your life -
1565will increase you in some way.
1566It does not mean to see the positive in everything. It means more. It means
1567that everything happens exactly the way it needs to happen, otherwise it
1568would happen differently.
1569We choose that thought, that perspective, that affirmation because it helps us
1570into getting what we want. And you can choose it too.
1571You are exactly where you need to be. Not only are you already whole and
1572complete, but you are exactly on the part of the path where you need to be.
1573Otherwise you would be some place else. There is no right or wrong way to
1574do this program. You may feel you are not ready, you may feel you are falling
1575behind ... and all of this is good. We are providing the tools, you make the
1576choice of what you want. You will get out of this program what you put into
1577it and what you want to get out of it.
1578Everything and everyone prospers me now.
1579If we miss a plane, than we do something else. If our newsletter does not go
1580out on time, than it was not meant to be.
1581Yes there is an urgency, and at the same time you have all the time in the
1582world. The only thing really urgent is the exploration and the conversation.
1583There is no goal you need to rush at. You have already arrived. The only
1584sense of arrival you will get in life is to know that you are on the right
1585path. If you are seeking more excellence in this path, than you are already on
1586the right path. Than you have arrived.
1587This is not a licence to just sit back and relax - you will have to act to get
1588what you want. You have to take the next step now. However, it is a licence
1589to get completely detached from the outcome.
1590~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
1591Question:
1592How different does your day look after you choose the perspective
1593"Everything and everyone prospers me now"?
1594
1595
1596Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1597Tags: Masculine edge Act Anyway Seizing opportunities
1598Zan Perrion Lesson
1599Making Memories
1600We have a simple philosophy that we live by every day.
1601When faced with two courses of action - two different paths - and we have to
1602make a decision, the only criterion we use to make that decision is this:
1603Which path will give us the best memories?
1604That's it. What are the best memories we can make TODAY? We don't ask
1605which path is more secure, or which path will be a better financial decision,
1606or which path our family and friends think is best. We simply base all our
1607decisions on creating the best memories we possibly can. That is the guiding
1608principle of our lives.
1609So we accept all invitations. If we are invited, for instance, to a party down
1610the street or to go to Amsterdam, we look at the calendar. If it is open, we are
1611going. How? We have no idea. But that doesn't matter.
1612Instead, most of us, when faced with a new opportunity, will tend to second
1613guess our intuition. We get an invitation and we reason it out, try to make
1614sense of it, look at the pros and cons, etc. We think we are being prudent by
1615soberly considering all the angles, but in reality, we are killing the essence of
1616creation. This is where we fail. Your gut instinct is always correct and is your
1617very best guide.
1618~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
1619Question:
1620What opportunities did you seize today to make excellent
1621memories?
1622What is the craziest thing you have ever done, that turned out to
1623be an excellent memory?
1624
1625
1626Our Beliefs Designing Your Life
1627Tags: Seizing opportunities Rite of passage Mindfulness Renounce Act
1628Anyway Pausing Intention Designing Masculine
1629edge Apply Choice Grace Visualizing
1630Hans Comyn Lesson
1631Designing Your Life Debrief
1632To PAUSE and to BE STILL is about the most powerful thing you can do
1633to bring about the change you desire.
1634Let this 90 days be a a meaningful pause in your life. A ceremonial pause ...
1635your vision quest, your rite of passage from boy to man, from being driven
1636down the road to being drawn by a vision ... a pause during which you
1637become mindful again. Mindful of your food, your time, the people around
1638you ... your choices. Let is raise mindfulness, awareness so you can design
1639your life (with women) by making moredeliberate choices.
1640The Amorati Ritual is your most powerful tool to pause, to be still, and to
1641set intention for the day ... and bring about the change you desire. Morning
1642is a promise. Everything you desire is contained in this day, and the first
1643minutes of the day are indeed the 'golden minutes' as one of you said. They
1644are the best time to influence how the rest of your day will go. So make the
1645Amorati Ritual your first priority of the day. Write down what you want your
1646life (with women) to look like, visualize the items, i.e. imagine the things you
1647wrote as if they were absolutely true today, and how that would make you
1648feel. Focus on the what, and the how will take care of itself. To visualize
1649makes our mind ready to see the subtle shifts and changes that are required
1650from us to explore new possibilities.
1651The ritual is a great tool for you to fully embrace choice. Make a
1652decision today that everything you did, everything you do and will
1653do is the consequence of your choice. Do not let there be any
1654discrepancy between what you want to do and what you think you ought to
1655do. Make peace with your old story, say thank you, than choose what you
1656want.
1657Than choose to take action! Everything you desire is outside your comfort
1658zone, otherwise you would already have it. The most important thing is to
1659TAKE ACTION. We believe we give you the best toolbox to seek more
1660excellence in your life and in your relationships with women AND the a great
1661network of men to rely on along this journey. However, the most important
1662thing is for you to take action. To act. To show up. To do. How? By DOING
1663your missions and base everything you write on your experience of doing
1664those missions. Also, by applying the lessons you see here in your daily life. If
1665we write about pausing ... it is great to see that some people INSTANTLY try
1666it out and pause, than come back the next day and write about their
1667experience of pausing, of how they applied it and what the difference was.
1668Your actions will show if you really want change, or if you just say you do.
1669As long as you act, you cannot fail. Everything and everyone prospers you
1670now, and you are making excellent memories. As long as you aspire to more
1671excellence and you act, we will be here for you.
1672We can see a very motivated group, but Kevin from the May course said:
1673"Willpower doesn't work. It's about creating new habits. If you simply try
1674to will your way to a better life it will be easy to slip back to old patterns.
1675Think about creating new disciplines in your life. You are already
1676disciplined to do many things, they just might not be the ones that are
1677serving you will. Use that discipline to create new habits that will enrich
1678your life. This is what I have started doing, and even after just a few days I
1679have a more positive feeling, and feel like more things are possible in my
1680life."
1681So make the Amorati Ritual into a new habit. Also, create a structure, reserve
1682time, ... for you to be able to act. This will be even more important as the
1683assignments will start including talking to women.
1684We are not here to babysit you. We give you the tools and a network to make
1685you change you desire. But it will depend on you to make it. You are
1686accountable. You will get out of this what you put in. This is a test of your
1687commitment (not your willpower) to more excellence in your life and your
1688relationships with women.
1689Also, there is no wrong way to do this. You are not behind ... you are exactly
1690where you need to be. The rest of your life starts now.
1691This week, you got a lot of blogs. It may seem intensive, but you needed to
1692be drowned in a different way of thinking. Do not try to make sense of
1693everything, your body has wisdom! In the coming weeks it will be easier to
1694keep up - just come on the platform every morning and let us help you set
1695intention for your day.
1696~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
1697ASSIGNMENT:
1698Go back to the assigment on day 2, the Amorati Ritual, and
1699comment on it again, starting this time with: "After one week of
1700doing the Amorati Ritual, I learned that ... "
1701
1702
1703
1704Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1705Tags: Pausing Awareness is curative Saboteur
1706Zan Perrion Lesson
1707Awareness is curative
1708Awareness is curative.
1709Become aware of Your Saboteur. Becoming aware is all that is needed from
1710you. Awareness is the answer. Awareness is curative. Becoming aware is all
1711you can do - becoming aware is all you have to do.
1712Most of the time, Your Saboteur operates quietly in the background,
1713influencing choices and suggesting its preferred course of action or inaction.
1714We want to become aware of that voice, bring it to the forefront so we start
1715seeing how he operates.
1716To become aware and mindful is what shifts you from living a life of reaction
1717to a life of action and designing your life.
1718It is very powerful to become aware of the way you are experiencing the
1719world, to be able to calmly step outside of yourself, without judgment, and
1720simply try to notice the things you are feeling and experiencing in the
1721moment.
1722Try to be curious about what Your Saboteur is saying and about the changes
1723in your emotions and in your body when you step out of your comfort zone
1724or think about doing that. For instance, you might notice a tightening in
1725your stomach if you see a woman who you find attractive. Or find your
1726hands getting sweaty or your mouth getting dry or your face getting red - just
1727from the thought of approaching her.
1728Do not fight any of this, or try to solve any of this. Do not try to hide it,
1729ignore it or overcome it. This is simply the way you are experiencing the
1730world. And this is when your Saboteur is really working hard to keep you
1731safe.
1732If you can make the choice throughout your day to simply check in with your
1733body every time you hear this voice, and notice everything you are
1734experiencing in the moment, you will learn to become aware of exactly how
1735you are physically and mentally experiencing the world. If you check in with
1736yourself every day at various times, you will start to gain an understanding
1737and a peace of mind about the things that happen around you. This is
1738learning to become mindful. And learning to become aware.
1739Again... awareness is curative. Becoming aware is all you can do, and
1740becoming aware is all you have to do.
1741~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
1742Assignment:
1743For the next 24 hours, try to check in a couple of times with
1744yourself and listen to what the voice is saying. Then, come back,
1745and tell us how many times you were able to actively check in and
1746listen to the voice of Your Saboteur. See if you are able to
1747remember this question, to check with yourself, and then check in
1748on the platform and answer this thread by this time tomorrow. To
1749anser the assignment here will show you if you are able to become
1750aware of a voice that usually operates silently in the background.
1751
1752
1753
1754Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1755Tags: Comfort zone Honour the artist Saboteur
1756Hans Comyn Lesson
1757Hesitation and Doubt
1758Watch this video, and answer this question:
1759Can you remember the artist in you? What did that artist do? Can
1760you commit to honouring him again? What are you going to do
1761differently from this day forward to do that? What would you
1762advise your brothers here to help them honour the artist in them?
1763Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1764Tags: Honour the artist
1765Zan Perrion
1766"We are all artists... the secret is to remember it when we are older." Picasso
1767
1768
1769
1770Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1771Tags: Comfort zone Honour the artist Saboteur
1772Hans Comyn Lesson
1773Hesitation and Doubt
1774Watch this video, and answer this question:
1775Can you remember the artist in you? What did that artist do? Can
1776you commit to honouring him again? What are you going to do
1777differently from this day forward to do that? What would you
1778advise your brothers here to help them honour the artist in them?
1779Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1780Tags: Honour the artist
1781Zan Perrion
1782"We are all artists... the secret is to remember it when we are older." Picasso
1783
1784
1785
1786
1787
1788
1789
1790Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1791Tags: Comfort zone Honour the artist Saboteur
1792Hans Comyn Lesson
1793Hesitation and Doubt
1794Watch this video, and answer this question:
1795Can you remember the artist in you? What did that artist do? Can
1796you commit to honouring him again? What are you going to do
1797differently from this day forward to do that? What would you
1798advise your brothers here to help them honour the artist in them?
1799Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1800Tags: Honour the artist
1801Zan Perrion
1802"We are all artists... the secret is to remember it when we are older." Picasso
1803
1804
1805
1806Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1807Tags: Comfort zone Awareness is curative Saboteur
1808View Comments (0) Comment
1809Hans Comyn Assignment
1810Give Your Saboteur a Name
1811It is useful to think of your Saboteur as a very real, distinct, and separate
1812entity.
1813If you see your Saboteur as a distinct entity, it will be easier to recognize
1814when he is talking to you and what he is saying. If you see him as a separate
1815entity, it will be easier to hear his voice amidst everything else you tell
1816yourself inside your head. It will be easier to become aware of the voice of
1817your Saboteur.
1818Here are some simple, practical questions that can help you becoming more
1819aware of your Saboteur and what he is saying to you.
1820What is the name of your Saboteur? What does he look like?
1821It is helpful to always have little talks with your Saboteur:
1822"Thank you, , I know what you are trying to do, I know you are trying to
1823keep me safe, and let me tell you this... pointing out the past and projecting
1824fear for the future does not serve me in any way - in the present... look at
1825those women over there ... I know you want me to stay here with you in my
1826comfort zone ... and I am going to approach them anyway... let me show
1827you that no disaster will come from that..."
1828~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
1829Assignment
1830Question 1
1831Are you becoming more aware of the voice of your saboteur?
1832Answer required
18331. Not aware. I do not know what he is saying to hold me back.
18342. More aware. I start becoming aware faster and more often when
1835the voice of the saboteur is talking to me and what that voice is
1836saying.
18373. Great awareness. Almost immediately I recognize now when my
1838saboteur is talking to me and what he is saying to keep me in my
1839comfort zone.
1840Question 2
1841What is the name of your Saboteur?
1842Answer required
1843Question 3
1844How does your Saboteur look?
1845Answer required
1846Upload or Insert:
1847Question 4
1848What are his antics? When does he talk to you? What is he saying?
1849Answer required
1850Upload or Insert:
1851
1852Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1853Tags: Act Anyway Saboteur
1854Hans Comyn
1855The voice of Your Saboteur will never go away. To act anyway is what takes you
1856from a mediocre life to a life of excellence.
1857
1858
1859Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1860Tags: Comfort zone Awareness is curative Saboteur
1861View Comments (0) Comment
1862Hans Comyn Assignment
1863Give Your Saboteur a Name
1864It is useful to think of your Saboteur as a very real, distinct, and separate
1865entity.
1866If you see your Saboteur as a distinct entity, it will be easier to recognize
1867when he is talking to you and what he is saying. If you see him as a separate
1868entity, it will be easier to hear his voice amidst everything else you tell
1869yourself inside your head. It will be easier to become aware of the voice of
1870your Saboteur.
1871Here are some simple, practical questions that can help you becoming more
1872aware of your Saboteur and what he is saying to you.
1873What is the name of your Saboteur? What does he look like?
1874It is helpful to always have little talks with your Saboteur:
1875"Thank you, , I know what you are trying to do, I know you are trying to
1876keep me safe, and let me tell you this... pointing out the past and projecting
1877fear for the future does not serve me in any way - in the present... look at
1878those women over there ... I know you want me to stay here with you in my
1879comfort zone ... and I am going to approach them anyway... let me show
1880you that no disaster will come from that..."
1881~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
1882Assignment
1883Question 1
1884Are you becoming more aware of the voice of your saboteur?
1885Answer required
18861. Not aware. I do not know what he is saying to hold me back.
18872. More aware. I start becoming aware faster and more often when
1888the voice of the saboteur is talking to me and what that voice is
1889saying.
18903. Great awareness. Almost immediately I recognize now when my
1891saboteur is talking to me and what he is saying to keep me in my
1892comfort zone.
1893Question 2
1894What is the name of your Saboteur?
1895Answer required
1896Question 3
1897How does your Saboteur look?
1898Answer required
1899Upload or Insert:
1900Question 4
1901What are his antics? When does he talk to you? What is he saying?
1902Answer required
1903Upload or Insert:
1904
1905Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1906Tags: Act Anyway Saboteur
1907Hans Comyn
1908The voice of Your Saboteur will never go away. To act anyway is what takes you
1909from a mediocre life to a life of excellence.
1910
1911
1912Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1913Tags: Staying present Awareness is curative Saboteur
1914Hans Comyn Lesson
1915Living in The Present
1916Always remember that the Saboteur cannot live in the present.
1917It can only remind you of all the terrible things that happened to you in the
1918past, or suggest the disasters that will happen in the future.
1919It has absolutely nothing that it can say about now - the present.
1920How do you stay present? By becoming aware of Your Saboteur. As simple as
1921that. The decision to become aware of Your Saboteur keeps you in the
1922present. Awareness is curative because it keeps you present, and Your
1923Saboteur has nothing to say about the now, about the present.
1924So choose to become aware of Your Saboteur and always recover to that
1925decision and awareness. It will become second nature.
1926~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
1927Question:
1928Do you have a problem RIGHT NOW?
1929Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1930Tags: Staying present Awareness is curative Saboteur
1931Hans Comyn
1932Your Saboteur has nothing to say about the now, about the present. Awareness
1933gets you and keeps you in the present.
1934
1935
1936Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1937Tags: Staying present Awareness is curative Saboteur
1938Hans Comyn Lesson
1939Living in The Present
1940Always remember that the Saboteur cannot live in the present.
1941It can only remind you of all the terrible things that happened to you in the
1942past, or suggest the disasters that will happen in the future.
1943It has absolutely nothing that it can say about now - the present.
1944How do you stay present? By becoming aware of Your Saboteur. As simple as
1945that. The decision to become aware of Your Saboteur keeps you in the
1946present. Awareness is curative because it keeps you present, and Your
1947Saboteur has nothing to say about the now, about the present.
1948So choose to become aware of Your Saboteur and always recover to that
1949decision and awareness. It will become second nature.
1950~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
1951Question:
1952Do you have a problem RIGHT NOW?
1953Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1954Tags: Staying present Awareness is curative Saboteur
1955Hans Comyn
1956Your Saboteur has nothing to say about the now, about the present. Awareness
1957gets you and keeps you in the present.
1958
1959
1960
1961Our Beliefs Your Saboteur
1962Tags: Honour the artist Staying present Mindfulness Higher self Choice Comfort
1963zone Awareness is curative Saboteur Apply Act Anyway
1964Hans Comyn Lesson
1965Debrief Your Saboteur
1966This week has been all about becoming aware of the voice of Your
1967Saboteur. Awareness of WHEN he is talking to you and WHAT he is telling
1968you to keep you (too) safe, to keep you inside your comfort zone. Awareness
1969also of HOW your body is reacting emotionally to his voice.
1970To become aware of Your Saboteur is all you can do - to become aware of
1971Your Saboteur is all you have to do. Do not try to ignore Your Saboteur, do
1972judge him, do not fight him, do not try to overcome him. Just become aware.
1973Decide to check in with your body throughout the day and become aware of
1974what you are feeling, experiencing, and who is talking to you: Your Saboteur
1975or Your Higher Self. A good tool to help you become aware of Your Saboteur
1976is see him as a separate entity: give him a name, describe how he looks, have
1977conversations with him, be compassionate with him ...
1978Remember that AWARENESS IS CURATIVE. Firstly, awareness is
1979curative because it keeps you in the present, and Your Saboteur cannot live
1980in the present. He can only remind you of all the terrible things that
1981happened to you in the past, or suggest the disasters that will happen in the
1982future. Your Saboteur has nothing to say about the present. Secondly,
1983awareness is curative because as soon as you know what you want your life
1984to look like (do your Amorati Ritual!), than awareness will ensure you know
1985what to do next.
1986Last week we learned that knowing what you want will prepare your mind so
1987you will seize the opportunities once they arise. Awareness is curative because
1988it helps you see those opportunities. If you know what you want your life to
1989look like, then you have made a decision to act anyway according to your
1990vision BEFORE Your Saboteur starts talking to you.
1991Knowing what you want your life to look like and awareness do not make the
1992voice of Your Saboteur go away; they ensure that you act anyway, DESPITE
1993Your Saboteur. The voice of Your Saboteur will grow silent because of your
1994acting anyway.
1995Hence: Become aware and ACT ANYWAY, despite Your Saboteur.The
1996difference between failure and success is not the absence of fear, of a
1997saboteur, or confidence ... but the willpower and discipline to act anyway. If
1998you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've
1999always got. Everything you desire is outside of your comfort zone - otherwise
2000you would already have it. So remember and honour the artist in you, Your
2001Higher Self ... and act anyway.
2002From now throughout the program to act anyway will be key. All the learning
2003will come from experience. Everything you say must be based on experience,
2004and the words we all use are mere articulations of our experiences. They will
2005only make sense if we act anyway. If we show up. We learn by doing. Love
2006and learn.
2007And as soon as you have the willpower and discipline to act anyway, to show
2008up, to aspire to more excellence in this life and in your relationships with
2009women, you can forgive yourself all of your mistakes. You can forgive
2010yourself all your mistakes, because you are already trying.
2011~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
2012Question:
2013How is it going for you so far, two weeks into the program? Have
2014you done your missions (Amorati Ritual and Saboteur
2015mission),and if YES, What is your number one question you have
2016after two weeks?
2017
2018
2019Our Beliefs Perspectives
2020Tags: Assumptions Perspectives
2021Hans Comyn Lesson
2022Assumptions
2023Have you participated in yesterday's discussion?
2024If not, read yesterday's post first.
2025If you did, then watch the second part of the Living Picture video here and
2026answer the question afterwards.
2027Question:
2028Are you becoming more aware of the assumptions you are making
2029in these kind of situations?
2030What can you do to become aware of your assumptions?
2031What would you recommend your brothers to gain awareness of
2032our assumptions?
2033
2034
2035Our Beliefs Perspectives
2036Tags: Perspectives
2037Hans Comyn Lesson
2038Living Picture - The Statue
2039Watch this video and ask yourself:
2040What are some of the ways that YOU can gain perspective?
2041What habits in your daily life help you gain perspective?
2042What changes in your habits can you make right now to gain
2043perspective?
2044Our Beliefs Perspectives
2045Tags: Perspectives
2046Hans Comyn
2047Each new perspective opens up a new world. With each new perspective you
2048inhabit, you gain perspective.
2049
2050
2051
2052Our Beliefs Perspectives
2053Tags: Assumptions Designing Perspectives Choice
2054Zan Perrion Lesson
2055Our Perspective of Her
2056Our description of the existence of different perspectives of an object like a
2057statue might seem really simple and obvious, but there is a subtle lesson to
2058be learned.
2059An awareness of your assumptions and your perspectives, and how they
2060affect everything in your life, will have a profound effect on the way you view
2061the world.
2062For instance, let's consider again the girl over there in the coffee shop.
2063You have a certain perspective on that girl, and on the situation at hand. Just
2064like the statue, you are looking at things from a single perspective. Our
2065assumptions inform our default perspective. And this happens without us
2066even being aware of it. Our Saboteur is all over this, making sure we assume
2067a variety of things to be true, and ultimately, choose a certain perspective.
2068Revisit your answer to the questions about the girl in the coffee shop. To
2069notice your perspective, complete this sentence: If I go over and start talking
2070to that girl then...
2071Your answer is your perspective on that girl and the situation, and on what
2072will happen if you go over there.
2073But as we have seen, there exist other perspectives on the situation. In the
2074coffee shop alone, there are all kinds of perspectives. There is the perspective
2075of the man at the next table drinking coffee and looking around. There is the
2076perspective of the workers behind the counter who see you and her, and
2077make their own set of assumptions about what is going on. There could even
2078be a perspective of the same dog walking by the window of the coffee shop
2079and glancing in and seeing you and her.
2080Each new perspective opens up completely new worlds, and anyone with a
2081different perspective inhabits a different world.
2082Consider the perspective of the dog for example, looking in the window and
2083watching you walk over and talk to the girl. What is his perspective? In all
2084likelihood, he does not care at all... too busy minding his own business.
2085Completely different perspective, completely different world.
2086Each perspective provides a different landscape, a different climate, and
2087different rules for expected behavior. What might be normal in one
2088perspective/world is not normal in another.
2089There will also be a posture in that perspective, sometimes quite literally,
2090because we tend to embody the perspective we are in and portray it
2091physically, in our bodies.
2092So the important thing about perspectives is that there is a multitude of
2093perspectives and that the perspectives are part and parcel of your world. The
2094situation you find yourself in is defined by the perspective you have. The
2095situation itself (talking to a girl) is completely neutral. It is this perspective
2096that brings emotion or judgment, and that creates the tone of the
2097conversation and the posture of our bodies.
2098~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
2099Question:
2100Can you make a choice to ask yourself what perspective will help
2101you in getting what you want, instead of assuming that a certain
2102perspective is true?
2103Our Beliefs Perspectives
2104Tags: Designing Perspectives Choice
2105Hans Comyn
2106Stop asking yourself which perspective is more true. Start asking yourself which
2107perspective serves you better.
2108
2109
2110
2111
2112Our Beliefs Perspectives
2113Tags: Perspectives Choice Higher self Assumptions Saboteur Designing
2114Zan Perrion Lesson
2115Our Default Perspective
2116Let us tie a couple of things together with this insight: Far too often we use
2117our assumptions to craft our perspective on things and we say things like "it
2118is just the way it is".
2119This choice of perspective is an unconscious choice. In fact, it is most likely
2120the default perspective you have always had. Often the perspective we choose
2121is the one immediately offered to us by the Saboteur. The Saboteur wants to
2122keep us safe and he uses assumptions to convince us that is just the way it is.
2123Your Saboteur uses assumptions to talk to you, and thus makes it hard for us
2124to become aware of our default perspective.
2125Our assumptions shape our perspectives on a situation. Our perspective is
2126part and parcel of the world we live in.
2127For example, consider the perspective shaped by the thoughts provided by
2128your Saboteur:
2129"Walking up and talking to a girl in a coffee shop is extremely awkward. It
2130is uncomfortable, and the girl usually goes silent, looks away and waits for
2131the man to leave."
2132The tone of this perspective is negative, and your body posture changes to
2133reflect the different inherent beliefs and expectations. You can even imagine
2134this perspective as having a smell, and it is not very good!
2135Now see how all of this changes if your Higher Self is providing the
2136perspective:
2137"Walking up and talking to a girl in a coffee shop is a great thing to do,
2138completely natural and fun and delightful."
2139There is a different tone in the language. You can practically smell her
2140fragrance and hear her laughter in that perspective. And if you allow your
2141body to represent that perspective, your posture would incorporate its
2142inherent attitude and beliefs.
2143These are two possible perspectives on a very simple everyday situation:
2144going over to a girl in a coffee shop and talking to her. The first perspective
2145is provided by your Saboteur and the second one is provided by your Higher
2146Self.
2147Neither is right or wrong, because both are largely based on assumptions ...
2148yet many of us have been very busy collecting evidence over the years to
2149support our point of view provided by our Saboteur, and we are prepared to
2150insist very persuasively that the perspective provided by our Saboteur is the
2151right one, the one that is true.
2152Consequently, far too often we believe we don't really have the power of
2153choice. We believe that our perspective is the true one and does not change.
2154This is our default perspective.
2155We tend to blame the circumstances of life. It's the job, the limited income,
2156the lack of education, the lack of free time... the list goes on. It often feels like
2157we are powerless to change or choose differently. Our vision is narrowed and
2158narrowed until we are so driven by the circumstances that we no longer see
2159what is possible.
2160A variation on this is the consequence of our "big" decisions. In other words,
2161"I chose this career path, so...", "I chose to live in this town, and so..." It's as
2162if we gave up the power of any more choice because of these "big choices" we
2163made in our life. Now we have to stick to them and live up to the
2164consequences. The truth is, there is no such things as "have to". There is only
2165choice. We are not bound at all by our cicumstances or our history or our
2166judgments of ourselves.
2167We can choose differently.
2168Consciously choosing seems so obvious, and yet it is so rare. In order to have
2169the life you want, you must choose and know that you have chosen. It's about
2170living life consciously. It is designing your life.
2171As we mentioned earlier, you have the freedom and responsibility to choose
2172every moment of the day. It is what makes us human.
2173Choice, like awareness, has action in it. There is movement inside of us when
2174a choice has been made, just before there is movement in the outer world.
2175So perspectives are all about choice. About choosing how you want to look at
2176a particular situation. The difference between success and failure in any part
2177of our lives is the way we choose to look at it.
2178If perspectives are about choice, then you can use them as a tool ... so
2179consider the multitude of perspective and ask yourself what perspective will
2180serve you better into getting what you want? What perspective will serve you
2181better in actually going over there and talking to her?
2182Stop asking yourself which perspective is more true. Start asking yourself
2183which perspective serves you better.
2184So, the question we each need to ask is this, "How is my default perspective
2185serving me? How does the way I choose to view a situation help me in that
2186situation?" Become aware of your assumptions, become aware of your
2187default perspective, realise you have a choice, and if your perspective does
2188not help you into getting what you want, choose a different one!
2189For example, we can choose the perspective that "They're all my girls" just as
2190easily as we can choose the perspective that "no girls would ever want me". It
2191makes no sense to try to ascertain which of these perspectives is true. The
2192only question is to ask which perspective serves you best. If your desire is to
2193have more meaningful interactions with women throughout your day, which
2194of these perspectives will be the best guide?
2195Ask yourself: What perspective is helping you to go and talk to that girl - the
2196one provided by your Saboteur, or the one provided by your Higher Self?
2197Perspectives are tools you can use to help you get what you want and start
2198designing your life. Your perspectives are all created in your mind, they are
2199invented... so you might as well select a good one!
2200~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
2201Question:
2202Choose a new perspective about women that you are going to use
2203from now on. What is that perspective?
2204Our Beliefs Perspectives
2205Tags: Perspectives Choice
2206Hans Comyn
2207Your perspective is part and parcel of your world. What world do you choose to live
2208in?
2209
2210
2211Our Beliefs Perspectives
2212Tags: Perspectives Comfort zone Choice Higher self Assumptions Saboteur Act
2213Anyway Seizing opportunities
2214View Comments (0) Comment
2215Hans Comyn Assignment
2216Exploring Perspectives
2217Find several different circumstances this week where you find you are
2218nervous if you were to proceed (put yourself in as many as you can). And of
2219course, that most likely looks like several different women that you would
2220normally hesitate to approach! Whatever gets your heart racing. Whatever
2221gives you that overall sense of unease and nervousness and discomfort.
2222Then do these three things:
22231) Become aware of the perspective you are in. Really examine that
2224perspective. What is your Saboteur saying to you? What are you experiencing
2225in your body? What are your assumptions about her? Really spend some
2226time trying to get the essence of what you believe to be "true" about her,
2227about you, and about the whole scenario.
22282) Then change your body geography. In other words, if you are sitting,
2229stand up. If you are standing, go to another part of the room. Tell yourself
2230that your default perspective serves you in no way whatsoever, that your
2231Saboteur is trying to keep you unnecessarily safe, and that you just left that
2232perspective behind in the old location. Now run through, in your mind, other
2233perspectives that are also true. For instance, what is her perspective? What is
2234your Saboteur's perspective? What would be the perspective of a famous
2235author you admire? What would be the perspective of a five year old boy?
2236What would be the perspective of Your Higher Self. Try to really inhabit a
2237variety of different perspectives.
2238Some helpful questions that will lead to new perspectives are: "What is
2239another way of looking at this that will work for me?" "How would a fiveyear-old
2240see this?" "How would this look to an ancestor warrior from 900
2241years ago?" "How would be the perspective of my future self 20 years from
2242now?" The idea is to generate alternative perspectives that are more
2243resourceful and creative than the one we usually occupy.
22443) Change your perspective. Select one of these perspectives (no matter
2245which one), and occupy it as if it were absolutely true. Get the sense that it is
2246really true, and let it fill your body.
2247Then once you are occupying this new and refreshing perspective, feel free to
2248walk up to her and say whatever comes to mind. Remember to have no plan,
2249no agenda for her phone number or anything. Just enjoy the interaction and
2250stay completely focused on your new perspective.
2251Remember also that changing your body geography is a mere tool to help
2252you to act anyway. If you are able to act anyway without it, than there is no
2253need to do it.
2254Assignment
2255Question 1
2256How many situations did you put yourself into where you got
2257nervous, where Your Saboteur started talking?
2258Answer required
2259Question 2
2260What was the perspective provided by your saboteur what
2261assumptions did he use?
2262Answer required
2263Upload or Insert:
2264Question 4
2265How many women did you approach despite being nervous?
2266Answer required
2267Question 5
2268What did you learn from these approaches? What is the number
2269one question you have after doing these approaches?
2270Answer required
2271Upload or Insert:
2272
2273Our Beliefs Perspectives
2274Tags: Perspectives Designing
2275Hans Comyn
2276Perspectives are tools you can use to help you get what you want and start
2277designing your life.
2278
2279
2280Our Beliefs Perspectives
2281Tags: Assumptions Perspectives Choice Awareness is
2282curative Saboteur Designing Apply Act Anyway
2283Hans Comyn Lesson
2284Perspectives Debrief
2285Every time we see a beautiful girl, and we consider going over there and talk
2286to her, we instantly make assumptions about her, about the situation and
2287about how the interaction is going to be. Our Saboteur uses assumptions to
2288create our default perspective, and you pull it out of our pocket every time
2289we are in a similar situation.
2290What is remarkable about our default perspective is that it is not only based
2291on very little or no evidence - our default perspective is invented - but also
2292that we have a lot of trouble shifting to another perspective. But if
2293assumptions and perspectives are invented, and another perspective could be
2294equally valid, than why not take a perspective that serves you into getting
2295what you want?
2296Perspectives are indeed tools, so stop trying to figure out which perspective is
2297true; instead, inhabit a perspective that serves you in getting what you want.
2298How?
2299Become aware of your default perspective. Become aware also of the
2300multitude of perspectives. Empathy, meeting people, curiosity, trying new
2301things, travel, sharing experiences in stead of trying to win other people over,
2302... they will show you a multitude of perspectives on the same situation, and
2303every time you see the same situation from a different perspective, you GAIN
2304perspective.
2305It is also in this sense that awareness is curative.
2306Awareness is curative because it gives you back CHOICE. To be aware of
2307choice is to be aware of the power of choosing. It is crucial to remember that
2308you are absolutely, unequivocally in charge of your choice. To become more
2309human means to make more deliberate choices. More awareness makes for
2310more deliberate, more mindfull choices.
2311You can choose your perspective. You can choose to ACT ANYWAY ...
2312Changing you body geography and taking up a different perspective are
2313TOOLS, tools that can help you to act anyway. They are MERE tools, because
2314the most important thing remains to act anyway. For example, I do not
2315change my body geography, nor do I take up a different perspective. For me
2316being aware of a multitude of perspectives is enough to stop making
2317assumptions and to act anyway.
2318To act anyway indeed, to show up, to do. Until the end of the program the
2319stress will be on acting anyway, on doing your mission and on the
2320application of the lessons to your daily life. The difference between failure
2321and success is not the absence of fear, of a saboteur, of a self-defeating
2322perspective. The difference between failure and success is not confidence ...
2323but the willpower AND discipline to act anyway.
2324Remember, as long as you act, you cannot fail. Everything and everyone
2325prospers you now, and you are making excellent memories.
2326If you would feel a little overwhelmed by the amount of posts, that is ok. You
2327are not supposed to figure it all out right now. This is not just the transfer of
2328information - this is an experience. The content will be forever available to
2329you and some of it will take months, maybe years to completely make sense.
2330~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
2331
2332
2333
2334Hans Comyn Lesson
2335Your Legacy
2336Watch this video, adding perspective to 'approaching that girl' and ask
2337yourself:
2338Are you going to honor your legacy? What is the battle you are
2339going to fight? Which fight are you going to fight and win, no
2340matter what the cost?
2341Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
2342Tags: Comfort zone
2343Zan Perrion
2344If you keep doing what you have been doing, you will keep getting the same results.
2345
2346
2347Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
2348Tags: Masculine edge Living like a champion Act Anyway
2349Zan Perrion Lesson
2350Discharging Your Duty
2351When we hesitate to approach a woman that we find attractive, we are letting
2352our fathers down. And what's more, we are letting her down. Finally, we are
2353letting ourself down.
2354The world deserves you fully present. The world deserves you showing up in
2355the world as a champion. You have the right to occupy your space on this
2356earth. You have the right to go and talk to that girl over there.
2357In fact, you have the obligation! It is your duty to go and talk to her. Not
2358hers. Yours.
2359If there is something interesting about a girl over there that you find
2360attractive, if your impulse, your desire is to create an experience with her... it
2361is your DUTY to go over and talk to her. The world deserves your
2362authenticity. The world deserves you fully present. The world wants more of
2363you. It is the only thing you can and must give back to the world. You have
2364the obligation to be yourself and speak your truth.
2365Every time you see an attractive girl and you walk over to her, you show up
2366as a man in the world. You are discharging your duty as a man. This is just as
2367much an act of masculinity as your father from the distant past standing on
2368the earth on a battlefield... with a sword in his hand.
2369If you show up in this world with your authenticity, fully present, and you
2370speak your truth, you have just discharged your duty as a man.
2371"There is something about you ... I was standing over there, and I saw you,
2372and I had to come over and say hi."
2373That is all you can do. That is all you must do.
2374From this day forward, stop measuring your success by the reaction
2375you get and start measuring your success by the way you put
2376yourself forward into this world.
2377Have you spoken your truth? Have you discharged your duty as a man? Have
2378you shown up?
2379~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
2380Question:
2381Describe how discharging your duty looks like to you when you are
2382moving in the land of women? In your specific case, what are you
2383going to DO differently from this day forward? What new habit are
2384you installing right now to ensure you are discharging your duty
2385as a man for the rest of your life?
2386
2387
2388
2389Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
2390Tags: Masculine edge Living like a champion Act Anyway
2391Zan Perrion Lesson
2392Discharging Your Duty
2393When we hesitate to approach a woman that we find attractive, we are letting
2394our fathers down. And what's more, we are letting her down. Finally, we are
2395letting ourself down.
2396The world deserves you fully present. The world deserves you showing up in
2397the world as a champion. You have the right to occupy your space on this
2398earth. You have the right to go and talk to that girl over there.
2399In fact, you have the obligation! It is your duty to go and talk to her. Not
2400hers. Yours.
2401If there is something interesting about a girl over there that you find
2402attractive, if your impulse, your desire is to create an experience with her... it
2403is your DUTY to go over and talk to her. The world deserves your
2404authenticity. The world deserves you fully present. The world wants more of
2405you. It is the only thing you can and must give back to the world. You have
2406the obligation to be yourself and speak your truth.
2407Every time you see an attractive girl and you walk over to her, you show up
2408as a man in the world. You are discharging your duty as a man. This is just as
2409much an act of masculinity as your father from the distant past standing on
2410the earth on a battlefield... with a sword in his hand.
2411If you show up in this world with your authenticity, fully present, and you
2412speak your truth, you have just discharged your duty as a man.
2413"There is something about you ... I was standing over there, and I saw you,
2414and I had to come over and say hi."
2415That is all you can do. That is all you must do.
2416From this day forward, stop measuring your success by the reaction
2417you get and start measuring your success by the way you put
2418yourself forward into this world.
2419Have you spoken your truth? Have you discharged your duty as a man? Have
2420you shown up?
2421~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
2422Question:
2423Describe how discharging your duty looks like to you when you are
2424moving in the land of women? In your specific case, what are you
2425going to DO differently from this day forward? What new habit are
2426you installing right now to ensure you are discharging your duty
2427as a man for the rest of your life?
2428
2429
2430Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
2431Tags: Living like a champion Choice Show up Higher self Saboteur Masculine
2432edge Act Anyway
2433Hans Comyn Lesson
2434Show Up
2435The difference between mediocre lives and grand lifes is to act anyway, to
2436show up.
2437The voice of your Saboteur will never go away, and the difference between
2438failure and success is not the absence of that voice, the absence of fear. The
2439difference is not confidence, it is the willpower and discipline to show up, to
2440act anyway.
2441We have this weird idea that we first have to be good with women before we
2442go and talk to women. How crazy is that? ... we think we have to logic it out,
2443gather 'all the necessary info' and than move in the land of women with the
2444right knowledge to get the expected results. We think there is a magic pill ...
2445we wish we could have this part handled for once and for all ...We are wrong.
2446You do not have to be good before you go and talk to women. In fact, you
2447cannot be good with women without showing up in the land of women. The
2448only thing you can do - the only thing you have to do is to SHOW UP.
2449Nobody has ever earned a black belt from reading about martial arts.
2450Anybody who ever became a good soccer player did so because he played on
2451the soccer field all of the time. Anybody who ever became good with women
2452did so because he moved about in the land of women all of the time.
2453In other words, to have experience in the land of women you will
2454have to create experiences in the land of women.
2455Only experience and practice will ever make you better with women. To get
2456experience and practice you need to show up. Showing up is the only thing
2457you can do. And showing up is the only thing you have to do. Showing up is
2458the magic pill to becoming good with women.
2459And here is a great thing: as soon as you start showing up, you will be
2460more attractive to women, instantly. Women everywhere in the world tell us
2461they do not mind if you are a little nervous. They find it endearing. Just
2462show up. When one of the women in our event was asked why women get
2463together with jerks, her answer was "Because they ask." This is incredible
2464insight for us. All you have to do is show up in life. Ask for what you want. It
2465is a simple as that.
2466Show up in this world and ask for what you want. Show up in your authentic
2467stumbling self and you set yourself apart from most other men.
2468So, are you gonna keep standing back, or are you going to show up? Are you
2469gonna continue wishing or are you gonna show up? Are you gonna continue
2470listening to your saboteur, or CHOOSE to show up in the land of women? It
2471is a choice you can and have to make RIGHT NOW. You always can start
2472walking and start talking. You have the choice.
2473In fact, we expect each one of you to choose to show up for the remainder of
2474this program. We do not want to hear anymore how Your Saboteur got the
2475better of you. You can always choose to start walking and start talking,
2476and everything you say from this day forward must be about the
2477experiences you got from showing up.
2478Deal?
2479~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
2480Decide Now to Be More Attractive to Women!
2481Many successful men come to us to help them handle the love part of their life. Everything in
2482life is going good for them, but they feel they don't have clarity in their interactions with women. As Zan says, "They want to know they can walk into a room
2483with women and have what it takes to succeed". In other words, they come to us to "fix that problem" and help them take care of this area of their life once
2484and for all.
2485However, while that desire and ambition is very real and noble, there is no such thing as "taking care of it once and for all." We don't believe there are any
2486problems that need solving, and there is no magic pill that will take care of this issue once and for all. Becoming good with women is not even a skill set you
2487must acquire...
2488Let me explain...
2489To become good with women is part of a much larger journey. It is a journey towards more excellence. A journey towards your authentic self, your attractive
2490self. And on this journey, all you have to do is seek to maximize the attractive traits you already have - rather than trying to solve something or become
2491someone else. And it is this journey towards your authentic self that makes you instantly attractive to women.
2492So, let there be no doubt: nobody has ever earned a black belt from reading about martial arts. Anybody who ever became a good soccer player did so
2493because he played on the soccer field all of the time. Anybody who ever became good with women did so because he moved about in the land of women all
2494of the time. In other words, to have experience in the land of women you will have to create experiences in the land of women.
2495Only experience and practice will ever make you better with women. You will not wake up one day and be great with women, and you will never "take care of
2496it once and for all". This is a never ending journey of mystery and understanding. A journey towards more excellence, a journey towards your authentic self, a
2497journey towards your attractive self, a journey towards maximizing your attractive traits.
2498Having said that, there are some tools that will speed up the journey, tools that will make you better faster. Tools that will make sure you get the most out of
2499your experiences in the land of women:
25001. Your curiosity: As Zan says: "curiosity is intelligence" and curiosity breeds curiosity. You are automatically good in what you are curious about. You can
2501choose to become more curious about women and your authenticity. You can choose to explore your love for women and explore how to maximize your
2502attractive traits.
25032. Awareness of your intentions: Decide to become aware of your intentions at all times. In any of your actions and interactions, ask yourself: "What is my
2504agenda? Am I trying to take something from this woman? Am I trying to share something with her? Have I put myself fully forward into the interaction or did
2505I hold back? Have I spoken my truth?" To become mindful of your intentions is very helpful in finding your authentic self.
25063. Blurt: Communicate your intentions to others. Become aware of your agenda in any interaction and speak it to the person in front of you. With empathy
2507and grace. Without being blunt, communicate your intentions to others. Ask for what you want. It is refreshing to others and it is the fastest way to your
2508authentic self.
2509These 3 tools will speed up your journey towards your authentic self, your attractive self.
2510And it gets even better than this... Using these tools will INSTANTLY make you more attractive to women. You can decide NOW to become more curious, to
2511become aware of your intentions and to communicate those intentions to women, and that decision is enough to become instantly more attractive to women.
2512Women are attracted to men who are curious about women, men who explore their love for women and are on a journey for more excellence and their
2513authenticity.
2514So embark on this journey to more excellence, the journey to your authenticity, with the 3 tools provided here, and share this journey with the woman in
2515front of you. Share it with her and worlds of mystery and wonder will open up ... you will have embarked on a never ending journey of discovery, excitement
2516and learning.
2517~ Hans Comijn
2518Want to know more about maximizing your attractive traits?
2519http://www.arsamorata.com
2520Join us and the Amorati today!
2521
2522Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
2523Hans Comyn
2524To act anyway and show up in the land of women will teach you everything you
2525want to know about women.
2526
2527
2528
2529
2530Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
2531Tags: Living like a champion Choice Show up Higher self Saboteur Masculine
2532edge Act Anyway
2533Hans Comyn Lesson
2534Show Up
2535The difference between mediocre lives and grand lifes is to act anyway, to
2536show up.
2537The voice of your Saboteur will never go away, and the difference between
2538failure and success is not the absence of that voice, the absence of fear. The
2539difference is not confidence, it is the willpower and discipline to show up, to
2540act anyway.
2541We have this weird idea that we first have to be good with women before we
2542go and talk to women. How crazy is that? ... we think we have to logic it out,
2543gather 'all the necessary info' and than move in the land of women with the
2544right knowledge to get the expected results. We think there is a magic pill ...
2545we wish we could have this part handled for once and for all ...We are wrong.
2546You do not have to be good before you go and talk to women. In fact, you
2547cannot be good with women without showing up in the land of women. The
2548only thing you can do - the only thing you have to do is to SHOW UP.
2549Nobody has ever earned a black belt from reading about martial arts.
2550Anybody who ever became a good soccer player did so because he played on
2551the soccer field all of the time. Anybody who ever became good with women
2552did so because he moved about in the land of women all of the time.
2553In other words, to have experience in the land of women you will
2554have to create experiences in the land of women.
2555Only experience and practice will ever make you better with women. To get
2556experience and practice you need to show up. Showing up is the only thing
2557you can do. And showing up is the only thing you have to do. Showing up is
2558the magic pill to becoming good with women.
2559And here is a great thing: as soon as you start showing up, you will be
2560more attractive to women, instantly. Women everywhere in the world tell us
2561they do not mind if you are a little nervous. They find it endearing. Just
2562show up. When one of the women in our event was asked why women get
2563together with jerks, her answer was "Because they ask." This is incredible
2564insight for us. All you have to do is show up in life. Ask for what you want. It
2565is a simple as that.
2566Show up in this world and ask for what you want. Show up in your authentic
2567stumbling self and you set yourself apart from most other men.
2568So, are you gonna keep standing back, or are you going to show up? Are you
2569gonna continue wishing or are you gonna show up? Are you gonna continue
2570listening to your saboteur, or CHOOSE to show up in the land of women? It
2571is a choice you can and have to make RIGHT NOW. You always can start
2572walking and start talking. You have the choice.
2573In fact, we expect each one of you to choose to show up for the remainder of
2574this program. We do not want to hear anymore how Your Saboteur got the
2575better of you. You can always choose to start walking and start talking,
2576and everything you say from this day forward must be about the
2577experiences you got from showing up.
2578Deal?
2579~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
2580Decide Now to Be More Attractive to Women!
2581Many successful men come to us to help them handle the love part of their life. Everything in
2582life is going good for them, but they feel they don't have clarity in their interactions with women. As Zan says, "They want to know they can walk into a room
2583with women and have what it takes to succeed". In other words, they come to us to "fix that problem" and help them take care of this area of their life once
2584and for all.
2585However, while that desire and ambition is very real and noble, there is no such thing as "taking care of it once and for all." We don't believe there are any
2586problems that need solving, and there is no magic pill that will take care of this issue once and for all. Becoming good with women is not even a skill set you
2587must acquire...
2588Let me explain...
2589To become good with women is part of a much larger journey. It is a journey towards more excellence. A journey towards your authentic self, your attractive
2590self. And on this journey, all you have to do is seek to maximize the attractive traits you already have - rather than trying to solve something or become
2591someone else. And it is this journey towards your authentic self that makes you instantly attractive to women.
2592So, let there be no doubt: nobody has ever earned a black belt from reading about martial arts. Anybody who ever became a good soccer player did so
2593because he played on the soccer field all of the time. Anybody who ever became good with women did so because he moved about in the land of women all
2594of the time. In other words, to have experience in the land of women you will have to create experiences in the land of women.
2595Only experience and practice will ever make you better with women. You will not wake up one day and be great with women, and you will never "take care of
2596it once and for all". This is a never ending journey of mystery and understanding. A journey towards more excellence, a journey towards your authentic self, a
2597journey towards your attractive self, a journey towards maximizing your attractive traits.
2598Having said that, there are some tools that will speed up the journey, tools that will make you better faster. Tools that will make sure you get the most out of
2599your experiences in the land of women:
26001. Your curiosity: As Zan says: "curiosity is intelligence" and curiosity breeds curiosity. You are automatically good in what you are curious about. You can
2601choose to become more curious about women and your authenticity. You can choose to explore your love for women and explore how to maximize your
2602attractive traits.
26032. Awareness of your intentions: Decide to become aware of your intentions at all times. In any of your actions and interactions, ask yourself: "What is my
2604agenda? Am I trying to take something from this woman? Am I trying to share something with her? Have I put myself fully forward into the interaction or did
2605I hold back? Have I spoken my truth?" To become mindful of your intentions is very helpful in finding your authentic self.
26063. Blurt: Communicate your intentions to others. Become aware of your agenda in any interaction and speak it to the person in front of you. With empathy
2607and grace. Without being blunt, communicate your intentions to others. Ask for what you want. It is refreshing to others and it is the fastest way to your
2608authentic self.
2609These 3 tools will speed up your journey towards your authentic self, your attractive self.
2610And it gets even better than this... Using these tools will INSTANTLY make you more attractive to women. You can decide NOW to become more curious, to
2611become aware of your intentions and to communicate those intentions to women, and that decision is enough to become instantly more attractive to women.
2612Women are attracted to men who are curious about women, men who explore their love for women and are on a journey for more excellence and their
2613authenticity.
2614So embark on this journey to more excellence, the journey to your authenticity, with the 3 tools provided here, and share this journey with the woman in
2615front of you. Share it with her and worlds of mystery and wonder will open up ... you will have embarked on a never ending journey of discovery, excitement
2616and learning.
2617~ Hans Comijn
2618Want to know more about maximizing your attractive traits?
2619http://www.arsamorata.com
2620Join us and the Amorati today!
2621
2622Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
2623Hans Comyn
2624To act anyway and show up in the land of women will teach you everything you
2625want to know about women.
2626
2627
2628
2629
2630Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
2631Tags: Show up Comfort zone Living like a champion Act Anyway Choice
2632View Comments (0) Comment
2633Zan Perrion Assignment
2634Exploring Living Like Champions
2635Your Mission this week is, first of all, to consider who you are on this earth.
2636(Remember, your list is the key).
2637Who are you? What do you want your life to look like? What is your legacy?
2638What kind of men were your ancestors, your direct blood fathers? Who were
2639these men who went before you, blazing a trail of courage?
2640They were champions. And this is your legacy. It is time to live like
2641champions on this earth again. It is time to be leaders!
2642This is the only thing that women are attracted to. You have the right to
2643occupy your space on this earth. You have the weight of the whole world
2644beneath you!
2645So building on the themes that went before (becoming aware of the voice of
2646Your Saboteur, learning to throw away assumptions and perspectives that
2647don't help us prosper, and occupying entirely new and better perspectives),
2648your mission is to go this week and find a number of situations where you
2649would normally hesitate. For instance, in your daily routines, or when you go
2650out, look for ten different women that you would normally hesitate to
2651approach. The kind that make your Saboteur start talking. The kind that
2652make you nervous if you were to go approach her.
2653Now choose the specific perspective of the Champion that you are. Find that
2654centre. Find that essence of masculinity. Lower your centre of gravity.
2655Ground yourself to the earth.
2656If necessary, change your bodygeography. Leave your old story, your
2657assumptions and hesitation behind and occupy the perspective of your
2658ancestors in this new position.
2659Take a deep breath.
2660Then, ACT ANYWAY and SHOW UP. Approach those ten women.
2661Again, it matters not what you say at this point. Say whatever comes to
2662mind. Just smile and say hello. The key is to remind yourself all week that
2663you have what it takes! You have the right to say hello to her. In fact, you
2664have the obligation.
2665If you have a hard time blurting, saying hello, ... say: "I was over there ... and
2666something in you drew me over here ... and I had to come say hello to you."
2667Say it with ease and delight ... no seriousness at all!
2668You have the blood of champions. It is time for this group of men to begin to
2669show this to the world...
2670~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
2671Assignment
2672Question 1
2673How many women did you talk to despite being nervous?
2674Answer required
2675Question 2
2676How did this make you feel?
2677Answer required
2678Upload or Insert:
2679Question 3
2680What is the worst thing that happened when you talked to these
2681women?
2682Answer required
2683Upload or Insert:
2684Question 4
2685The worst thing that happened is not really bad at all. In the game
2686of love and romance you have nothing to lose but your ego.
2687Answer required
2688True False
2689
2690
2691
2692Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
2693Tags: Show up Comfort zone Living like a champion Act Anyway Choice
2694View Comments (0) Comment
2695Zan Perrion Assignment
2696Exploring Living Like Champions
2697Your Mission this week is, first of all, to consider who you are on this earth.
2698(Remember, your list is the key).
2699Who are you? What do you want your life to look like? What is your legacy?
2700What kind of men were your ancestors, your direct blood fathers? Who were
2701these men who went before you, blazing a trail of courage?
2702They were champions. And this is your legacy. It is time to live like
2703champions on this earth again. It is time to be leaders!
2704This is the only thing that women are attracted to. You have the right to
2705occupy your space on this earth. You have the weight of the whole world
2706beneath you!
2707So building on the themes that went before (becoming aware of the voice of
2708Your Saboteur, learning to throw away assumptions and perspectives that
2709don't help us prosper, and occupying entirely new and better perspectives),
2710your mission is to go this week and find a number of situations where you
2711would normally hesitate. For instance, in your daily routines, or when you go
2712out, look for ten different women that you would normally hesitate to
2713approach. The kind that make your Saboteur start talking. The kind that
2714make you nervous if you were to go approach her.
2715Now choose the specific perspective of the Champion that you are. Find that
2716centre. Find that essence of masculinity. Lower your centre of gravity.
2717Ground yourself to the earth.
2718If necessary, change your bodygeography. Leave your old story, your
2719assumptions and hesitation behind and occupy the perspective of your
2720ancestors in this new position.
2721Take a deep breath.
2722Then, ACT ANYWAY and SHOW UP. Approach those ten women.
2723Again, it matters not what you say at this point. Say whatever comes to
2724mind. Just smile and say hello. The key is to remind yourself all week that
2725you have what it takes! You have the right to say hello to her. In fact, you
2726have the obligation.
2727If you have a hard time blurting, saying hello, ... say: "I was over there ... and
2728something in you drew me over here ... and I had to come say hello to you."
2729Say it with ease and delight ... no seriousness at all!
2730You have the blood of champions. It is time for this group of men to begin to
2731show this to the world...
2732~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
2733Assignment
2734Question 1
2735How many women did you talk to despite being nervous?
2736Answer required
2737Question 2
2738How did this make you feel?
2739Answer required
2740Upload or Insert:
2741Question 3
2742What is the worst thing that happened when you talked to these
2743women?
2744Answer required
2745Upload or Insert:
2746Question 4
2747The worst thing that happened is not really bad at all. In the game
2748of love and romance you have nothing to lose but your ego.
2749Answer required
2750True False
2751
2752
2753
2754Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
2755Tags: Masculine edge Higher self Living like a champion Show up Never settle
2756Hans Comyn Lesson
2757Seeking Excellence
2758Seek more excellence.
2759What does it mean to "live like champions"? It is the concept of truly
2760embracing life, of being unapologetically masculine, of being purposeful and
2761mindful in everything we do.
2762The secret of all of this is that there is no need to ever "chase" women. It is
2763no longer necessary when we are living lives of excellence. This is not to say
2764that we don't want or need women in our life... it just means that we are on a
2765quest for excellence that has very little to do with her. And when we set out
2766on this journey of excellence, women will always find us attractive, and we
2767will learn to sense the abundance of women.
2768Seek more excellence in your relations, in your life. Make a decision for more
2769excellence ... and act anyway. Acting anyway is the difference between living
2770a mediocre life and a life of excellence. And that choice, the choice you can
2771make NOW, instantly makes you more attractive to women.
2772You can literally announce it to women: "I seek more excellence in my life, in
2773my relations with women. I am a student of life, a student of women, ... I am
2774on a journey of learning, of excellence ... ".
2775We, as men, have forgotten how to stand on the earth. We have forgotten
2776how to be spacious. We have forgotten that we have been given a name. We
2777have forgotten the legacy of all those who came before us. We dial ourselves
2778down.
2779We settle.
2780And there's the problem. We settle - in our careers, in our relationships, in
2781all aspects of our lives. Women everywhere are asking "Where are the real
2782men?" And we're over here in the corner saying, "It's good enough."
2783No more! Never settle. Dregs settle.
2784Always remember the legacy of those who came before you. Because of them,
2785you have the right to occupy your space on earth. You have the right to speak
2786your name. You have the right to be spacious.
2787And you certainly have the right to talk to that girl!
2788~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
2789Here are some related discussions the essence of masculinity and living
2790large:
2791http://www.naturalgame.com/showthread.php?t=3341
2792Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
2793Tags: Seeking excellence
2794Hans Comyn
2795It is not always easy to aspire to more excellence in your life. At times, you will feel
2796frustrated, alone, and hurt. However, to not aspire to excellence is a lot worse,
2797because the pain of regret that comes with it, you will feel forever. The pain that
2798comes from imagining what could have been is a pain that never ceases.
2799Jun 23 at 03:00 PM Our Beliefs Living Like Champions
2800Tags: Living like a champion
2801Hans Comyn
2802Stop doing what you do not love. NOW.
2803
2804
2805Hans Comyn Lesson
2806Debrief Living Like Champions
2807Think back at the story of your ancestors. Remember your forefathers and
2808ask yourself: are you man enough to honour your legacy? Are you going to
2809stand tall on this earth and put a stake in the ground? Are you going to show
2810up?
2811Cause every time we hesitate to approach a woman that we find attractive,
2812we are letting our fathers down. And what's more, we are letting her down.
2813And we are letting ourself down. On the other hand, every time you see an
2814attractive girl and you walk over to her, you just showed up as a man in the
2815world. You are discharging your duty as a man. This is just as much an act of
2816masculinity as your father from the distant past standing on the earth on a
2817battlefield... with a sword in his hand. If you show up in this world with your
2818authenticity, fully present, and you speak your truth, you have just
2819discharged your duty as a man.
2820So remember to stop measuring your success by the reaction you get and
2821start measuring your success by the way you put yourself forward into this
2822world. Next time you are analyzing a past interaction, ask yourself: Have I
2823shown up? Have I spoken my truth?.
2824And interestingly, as soon as you start showing up, you instantly become
2825more attractive to women.
2826Never forget that the difference between success and failure is not the
2827absence of fear, the absence of a saboteur. The difference between failure
2828and success is not confidence, but your decision to act anyway. The courage
2829to act anyway, the discipline to keep showing up. Anybody who ever became
2830good with women did so because he moved about in the land of women all of
2831the time. In other words, to have experience in the land of women you will
2832have to create experiences in the land of women.
2833So whenever you see an attractive woman, start walking and start talking.
2834Find the willpower and discipline to show up, to act anyway, to DO YOUR
2835MISSIONS and apply our words to your daily life. Start walking and start
2836talking. Again and again. Find the willpower and discipline to seek more
2837excellence in this life. To seek more excellence in your relationships with
2838women. Even if you do not know how - find the willpower and discipline to
2839just show up in your authentic, stumbling self. If you know that is WHAT you
2840want to do, the how will take care of itself.
2841Show up and create experiences in the land of women.
2842So everything you say and ask for the rest of these 90 days must be based on
2843experience. On your experiences in the land of women. Your mentor and we
2844will be glad to answer any question based on your experiences of doing the
2845missions. We will not answer questions on how to 'fight' the saboteur. You
2846know already how to fight it.
2847In fact, you have committed to action - you have committed to show up. Are
2848you going to stick with your commitment? Your actions will tell if you really
2849want the change you envision, or if you just say you do.
2850Any questions?
2851~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
2852
2853
2854Curiosity
2855Tags: Curiosity Choice
2856Zan Perrion Lesson
2857Curiosity
2858The past four weeks have all about raising our awareness. So far we have
2859explored:
2860Awareness of your Saboteur and what it is saying to you. Awareness also of
2861the multitude of Perspectives that are valid and from which you can choose.
2862Finally, awareness of the fact that you have the Blood of Champions running
2863through your veins.
2864Awareness is curative. Becoming aware of all this is all you can do, and
2865becoming aware is all you need to do.
2866Awareness is indeed a tool to start designing your life. The reason why we
2867put so much time and energy into this is because of the stories we have been
2868telling ourselves all these years. Without being aware of it, we have carried
2869this default story, these beliefs, these perspectives, with us for most of our
2870life and we have brought it into most of our interactions with women.
2871And now we are becoming aware of all that.
2872And now that we are becoming aware of the stories we tell ourselves, it is
2873time to act anyway and do it with a big push. We are going to learn to
2874approach and interact ANYWAY. Since last week, our missions have changed
2875from theoretical scenarios to practical interactions, and for the rest of the
2876program, the focus will be on those practical interactions. We are going to
2877practice approaching and interacting anyway - no matter what the Saboteur
2878says to us. TO ACT ANYWAY, despite what our Saboteur is telling us, is the
2879difference between living a mediocre life and a life of excellence.
2880And amazingly, the act of approaching and interacting with women in this
2881world will teach you everything.
2882We will provide you tools to make ACTING ANYWAY easier, but never forget
2883that everything stops and starts with YOUR CHOICE, your decision to ACT
2884ANYWAY.
2885Let's move with big strides into the land of women!
2886Today, we want to introduce another tool to make acting anyway easier. It is
2887the most important tool to move into the land of women with ease and
2888delight, whether you are meeting new women, dating them or in a
2889relationship with them.
2890It is the most important gift a man can give to women, and the single tool
2891that will make you interesting, charming, attractive.
2892Curiosity.
2893"Love is three quarters curiosity." said Casanova, and we think curiosity not
2894only is your gift to women; it is also your fast lane to maximizing your
2895attractive traits.
2896Curiosity is one of the most important things that you can develop in your
2897life. It is our belief that intelligence is curiosity. That's all it is. If you are
2898curious, you are automatically intelligent.
2899The fantastic thing is that you will become good in what you are curious
2900about. If you are really curious about computers, you will become good at
2901them. If you are really curious about women, you will be good with women.
2902Decide to explore your curiosity for women, and you will become better with
2903them. Invariably!
2904And curiosity is attractive to women. If you are curious, if you are interested,
2905you are automatically interesting to her. If you are interested in her, you are
2906interesting and attractive to her.
2907Usually when a man meets a woman he likes, he thinks - mistakenly - that in
2908order to attract that woman he must impress her. So he begins to brag
2909desperately, trying to tell her as quickly as he can everything he believes she
2910might find interesting about him. He talks non-stop, he tries to be funny, he
2911tries to impress her, and quickly overwhelms her with a pile of unremarkable
2912personal information.
2913He tries to impress her rather than be interesting ... he tries to impress her
2914rather than be interested ...
2915So be interesting rather than being impressive.
2916How?
2917By being curious about her ... if you are interested in her you are
2918automatically interesting to her ...
2919This week we are going to concentrate on becoming more curioius. We are
2920going to be curious about her and only her.
2921“The most important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has it’s own
2922reason for existing.” - Albert Einstein
2923"Go around asking a lot of damn fool questions and taking chances. Only
2924through curiosity can we discover opportunities, and only by gambling can
2925we take advantage of them." - Clarence Birdseye
2926~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
2927Question:
2928If you couldn't talk about your job, city of birth or hobbies and
2929were asked who you are, what would you say?
2930Curiosity
2931Tags: Curiosity
2932Zan Perrion
2933"Love is three quarters curiosity." Casanova
2934
2935
2936
2937 Curiosity
2938Tags: Curiosity Choice
2939Hans Comyn Lesson
2940Becoming Curious About Her
2941How can you learn to be curious? How can you learn to be genuinely
2942interested?
2943By making a decision to do so.
2944Choose to become curious.
2945Choose curiosity and curiosity will breed curiosity.
2946Choose to say "I am curious ..." and you will become more curious.
2947Remember to focus on what and the how will take care of itself.
2948Like we said yesterday, the fantastic thing is that you will become good in
2949what you are curious about. If you are really curious about computers, you
2950will become good at them. If you are really curious about women, you will be
2951good with women. Decide to explore your curiosity for women, and you will
2952become better with them. Invariably!
2953If you decide you want to become more curious, you will find a way.
2954So here’s a practical 3 step process:
29551) See a woman
29562) Become curious about her
29573) Blurt what you are curious about, starting with "I am curious..."
2958Check this interview on Belgian TV again for more on
2959curiosity: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=99544596882
2960And here’s the link about it on the forum:
2961http://www.naturalgame.com/showthread.php?t=2839
2962Guys ask us all the time: "How can I be curious about a woman I just met?"
2963Like we said: choice. Choose curiosity. Choose to cultivate your curiosity.
2964Curiosity is a muscle you can train. Choose curiosity now, and as you will
2965notice, with experience, that your curiosity will grow and grow ...
2966You will find bigger and more questions ... and your world will expand ... At
2967first you will become curious about her, about that necklace, about the dress
2968.... With experience, you will become curious about the bigger questions.
2969What does she love?
2970Who is this person across form me?
2971What is she passionate about?
2972As you become more curious about the woman that is sitting across from
2973you, you will dispense with the chitchat and dial right into the bigger
2974questions. You can even blurt her: "Let's dispense with the chitchat for now,
2975and tell me ... who is this person across from me. You are a beautiful woman,
2976Maria, I can see that .... you have been complimented many times .... I know
2977... but tell me something interesting about you."
2978Choose curiosity now and through your experiences curiosity will breed
2979curiosity.
2980~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
2981p.s. avoid being heavy when you are approaching and just talking to a
2982woman. This post is about curiosity and how to train it. It does not mean you
2983have to be profound and heavy with a woman you just met.
2984Question:
2985Think about your last girlfriend or closest female friend, and
2986answer this question: What are you curious about right now in
2987that woman?
2988Curiosity
2989Tags: Curiosity Choice
2990Hans Comyn
2991Do not try to be impressive, be interesting. How? By being interested, by being
2992curious.
2993
2994
2995Curiosity
2996Tags: Perspectives Act Anyway Curiosity Apply Choice Show up
2997Hans Comyn Assignment
2998Exploring Curiosity
2999Curiosity breeds curiosity.
3000Choose to be curious BY SAYING IT.
3001Choose what you want to become curious about and you will become good at
3002it.
3003Saying "I am serious" is like changing your position to change perspective!
3004Your Mission this week is to immerse yourself fully in the concept of
3005curiosity. Explore your curiosity ... Explore your curiosity for women, for
3006people, for attraction, for life .... and share that curiosity with the people you
3007meet. Explore your curiosity and speak your truth.
3008Be curious about everything, and notice what that creates in you. Be curious
3009about what your saboteur is saying. Be curious about your intention during
3010the interaction. Are you trying to speak your truth? Are you genuinely
3011interested in this person? Are you trying to get something from her? Are you
3012present or are you trying to steer the interaction towards a certain outcome?
3013Be curious about how your body reacts when you are nervous.
3014Most importantly, be curious about the woman you see over there. Inhabit
3015that kind of thinking.
3016Build on what you learned in the weeks before. Remember that becoming
3017aware of the stories your Saboteur is telling you, and learning to choose new
3018Perspectives, and remembering always that you have the Blood of
3019Champions - these are all incredible tools that you will use throughout the
3020rest of your life.
3021So when you see a woman, become curious about her and the situation and
3022blurt what you are curious about.
3023What is really important is for you to act anyway - in spite of your old story.
3024What is really important is you approach anyway. What is really important is
3025for you to talk to her anyway. What is really important is not to hold back
3026and say whatever is on your mind ... blurt what you are curious about.
3027To go and talk to her is a decision to make. To no hold back and speak your
3028truth in every interaction is a decision to make. You only need to focus on
3029having an interaction. No matter how that interaction goes. Stop measuring
3030your success by the reaction you get - measure your success by your
3031commitment to putting yourself forward into the interaction. Have you
3032spoken your truth?
3033The interactions themselves will teach you all you need to know. And we only
3034want to hear about how those interactions went.
3035So here’s the mission:
3036View Comments (0) Comment
3037Approach ten women.
3038In each of these situations, concentrate only on being curious about
3039everything. Get curious about her and the situation, use whatever tools we
3040gave you, walk up to her, and blurt whatever you got curious about. Say: "I'm
3041curious about..." Then pick something - anything! What you say after that
3042does not matter at all.
3043"I'm curious about those shoes..."
3044"I'm curious about why I am drawn to you ..."
3045"I'm curious about why you look so happy ..."
3046"I'm curious about why men are afraid to talk to girls like you ..."
3047"I am a student of life and of attraction and I am curious about you ..."
3048or answer any of her questions with "I am just curious."
3049Remember, it is not important to get a certain result. We just want you to
3050train your curiosity muscle and speak it to the world.
3051~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
3052Assignment
3053Question 1
3054How many women did you talk to?
3055Answer required
3056Question 2
3057What were/are you most curious about when it comes to the
3058women that enter you life?
3059Answer required
3060Upload or Insert:
3061Question 3
3062Were you able to speak your curiosity?
3063Answer required
3064Upload or Insert:
3065Question 4
3066How did it make you feel to speak it? How did you think it made
3067her feel?
3068Answer required
3069Upload or Insert:
3070Question 5
3071What were you thinking afterwards?
3072Answer required
3073Upload or Insert:
3074
3075
3076Dancing In the Moment
3077Tags: Blurt Intention Invite
3078Zan Perrion
3079Creating the Experience
3080Naming it is not only powerful when you name what is going on; it is also
3081very powerful to name what you would like to see happen in the
3082interaction.
3083The first gets you out of your head and into your body; the second is a great
3084tool to lead the interaction, lead the dance.
3085By naming what you would like to see happen you are proactively creating
3086the experience with her. You are setting intention for the interaction between
3087you and her.
3088Amorati are leaders, creators, and by naming something, you make it real.
3089When you name something, you create something.
3090"You should come with me... it will be excellent... and I know you can't, but
3091wow, you are still invited... I mean, look what's going on between us right
3092now!"
3093Naming it is thus also mindfully creating the experience, setting intention. By
3094expressing what you would like to happen. When we do this, when we
3095express what we would like to happen, we create it!
3096Again, this cannot be said in a serious mode at all! This is very important!
3097Always be fun and light as you do this.
3098~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
3099Question:
3100What would you like to see happen with the women you met in the
3101past days?
3102Dancing In the Moment
3103Tags: Lead
3104Hans Comyn
3105Listen and lead the dance.
3106
3107
3108Dancing In the Moment
3109Tags: Blurt Intention Invite
3110Zan Perrion
3111Creating the Experience
3112Naming it is not only powerful when you name what is going on; it is also
3113very powerful to name what you would like to see happen in the
3114interaction.
3115The first gets you out of your head and into your body; the second is a great
3116tool to lead the interaction, lead the dance.
3117By naming what you would like to see happen you are proactively creating
3118the experience with her. You are setting intention for the interaction between
3119you and her.
3120Amorati are leaders, creators, and by naming something, you make it real.
3121When you name something, you create something.
3122"You should come with me... it will be excellent... and I know you can't, but
3123wow, you are still invited... I mean, look what's going on between us right
3124now!"
3125Naming it is thus also mindfully creating the experience, setting intention. By
3126expressing what you would like to happen. When we do this, when we
3127express what we would like to happen, we create it!
3128Again, this cannot be said in a serious mode at all! This is very important!
3129Always be fun and light as you do this.
3130~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
3131Question:
3132What would you like to see happen with the women you met in the
3133past days?
3134Dancing In the Moment
3135Tags: Lead
3136Hans Comyn
3137Listen and lead the dance.
3138
3139
3140
3141
3142Dancing In the Moment
3143Tags: Follow your urge Not holding back Invite Lead Blurt Act Anyway Show
3144up Apply Grace
3145Hans Comyn
3146Debrief Dancing in the Moment
3147The dance metaphor is a very powerful metaphor to describe seduction, to
3148describe your relationship with women.
3149Once you have the simple realization that seduction is a dance for two,
3150you will know your role. First, you have to show up to the dance. Second, you
3151have to invite her to dance. Third, you have to lead the dance, tuned into
3152what she wants. Imagine you holding up your arm, giving her space to twirl -
3153you make it possible and you invite her to do that.
3154Once you show up to the dance, and you want to learn to become a better
3155dancer, decide first to stop holding back. Follow your urge more, and blurt.
3156Blurt what is on your mind – it is a great way to get out of your head and
3157into your body. Blurt by naming what is going on with you, with her, and
3158with the interaction. Also, very important, name what you would like to see
3159happen – it is a great way to lead the dance.
3160Most importantly, you do not have to be a great dancer to have fun dancing.
3161As soon as you show up to the dance, as soon as you show up and invite her
3162to dance, you will be attractive to women. And as soon as you show up, you
3163will start practicing the dance. Only practice, only experience will make you
3164better with women.
3165So venture out into the land of women and DANCE!
3166The past couple of weeks were very intense --- next week you will have time
3167to relax and take a break if necessary ... or step it up one gear if you prefer.
3168~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
3169
3170
3171
3172Ease and Delight
3173Tags: Ease and delight
3174Hans Comyn
3175How are you doing so far?
3176How do you think you are doing so far?
3177Start a discussion underneath.
3178Look at the answers your brothers are giving ... choose one ... and give your
3179advice to him.
3180Discussion
3181Question 1
3182Describe the progress you have made.
3183Answer required
3184Upload or Insert:
3185Question 2
3186Is there something you think you are not getting? What is it?
3187Answer required
3188Upload or Insert:
3189Question 3
3190Could you have done more?
3191Answer required
3192True False
3193
3194
3195file:///C|/Users/MAGEVE~1/AppData/Local/Temp/Adobe/Acrobat/10.0/A9R52EF.tmp.html[14-10-2012 1:54:54]
3196Ease and Delight
3197Tags: Ease and delight Recover
3198Zan Perrion
3199You are exactly where you need to be.
3200As we move forward in our understanding, there is always a little bit of doubt
3201and confusion. This is to be expected... after all, our Saboteur is very
3202powerful and is desperate to have us slip back into old habits and thought
3203patterns.
3204The things you are thinking and experiencing are completely normal during
3205this 90 day program. No one is exempt. It is part of learning to "trust the
3206process".
3207You are exactly where you need to be in your journey right now.
3208This is the point that most of us give up - we rarely push past this critical
3209stage in our life learning. Usually we let go, feeling we just aren't learning
3210fast enough, or that we are doing it wrong, or that the rest of the group is
3211way farther along in their understanding. Then a year or so later, we might
3212seek out another seminar, hoping it will be the one to "finally" make a lasting
3213change in our life.
3214And this discouraging time is normal and completely expected. Our Saboteur
3215is very strong, gentlemen, but we are stronger! This is a difficult journey, and
3216it is easy to get discouraged. But now is the time to push past the barriers
3217that have always held you trapped.
3218Are you going to give up, or are going to push through? Now is when the
3219discipline to keep moving forward comes in play. Your actions will show if
3220you really want change, or if you just say you do.
3221If you are still committed to change, than ask for what you need. We will not
3222let you down. This is a promise to you. Ask for what you need from your
3223mentor. Ask for what you need from Hans and I. We will do whatever we can
3224to be there for you.
3225Time to take a breather, gentlemen.
3226Always be recovering!
3227This week, it is time to rest easy. The theme is to remember how absolutely
3228delightful and easy this 90 day program really needs to be. How delightful
3229life really needs to be. Remember to step into this week with curiosity and
3230wonder.
3231Turn up the volume of you. Be more animated. In every situation you
3232encounter this week, when you feel yourself tightening up or getting anxious,
3233take a deep breath, and repeat to yourself
3234"Ease and delight". Let it all go.
3235Let it just drain out of your body, through your feet and into the earth.
3236Every encounter you have with a woman or with anyone this week should be
3237imbued with magnificent ease and delight!
3238Become a kid again, smile a lot, wink, tease, play, make fun of yourself.
3239Engage everyone!
3240First of all, make sure you remember the concept of "ease and delight" in the
3241learning process. Have fun on this journey. Do not forget you are already
3242trying. If you are trying to do the mission, you are already aspiring to
3243excellence, and you can forgive yourself all of the ‘mistakes’. Never forget
3244that. You will never be ‘perfect’, you’ll only get better. And when you feel like
3245it is not going fast enough, or you're falling behind, or you’re taking steps
3246backwards, realize you are exactly where you need to be. You are already on
3247this journey of excellence. You can forgive yourself for any confusion: “Ease
3248and delight, my friend!”
3249Second we want you to remember the concept of "ease and delight" in your
3250interactions with women. Stop being so serious. Don’t try to convince her of
3251anything. Don't ask her for anything. Don’t defend yourself, don’t explain.
3252Just be...
3253~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
3254Ease and Delight
3255Tags: Ease and delight Recover
3256Zan Perrion
3257You are exactly where you need to be.
3258
3259
3260
3261Ease and Delight
3262Tags: Pausing Apply Ease and delight Mindfulness
3263Hans Comyn
3264Exploring Ease and Delight
3265This week's mission feeds right into the spirit of this whole journey. Ease and
3266delight. Ease and delight when you become aware of your Saboteur, of the
3267Perspectives you can take, of the Perspective of the Champion in you. Ease
3268and delight also when you are Curious about yourself, Curious about her,
3269Curious about the interaction. Ease and delight when Naming it and ease and
3270delight when you invite her into your world.
3271This week, we are going to do something special.
3272Remember, the goal of the theme this week, and this mission, is for you to
3273find ease and delight in the learning itself, to really try to understand why
3274you look at things a certain way, and why you always do things a certain
3275way. What are the patterns of your life? And how do they serve you? Is there
3276perhaps another perspective you could have? Another way of seeing things?
3277Another way of doing things?
3278We have created a number of very powerful, but easy and fun exercises and
3279activities for you. This is a list of creativity exercises that you can do
3280everyday. These exercises have a specific point to them – they’re designed to
3281train your mind to see everything and everyone around you from a different
3282perspective and to become more curious.
3283These creative exercises will break your ‘perception habits’ and allow you to
3284see everything around you from new points of view. They’ll exercise your
3285creativity muscles - so linear thinking will start to become a thing of the past.
3286And your creativity switch will start to be turned on every moment of your
3287life. You’ll find ease and delight in everything you do. These exercises and
3288activities might seem almost silly at first. But they’re not silly at all. They
3289really have a function and a purpose… to train your mind to get out of that
3290rut thinking, out of that herd mentality, and away from linear thinking… into
3291creative thinking and curiosity. From seriousness … into ease and delight.
3292You will become more curious… more intelligent. And when you start doing
3293these exercises which train your mind to think differently and get out of
3294mindless routines, there are going to be payoffs – big time. It’s like muscle
3295memory in athletics. If you take golf lessons or tennis lessons, you get muscle
3296memory. And the same thing can happen with the creative part of your mind.
3297Using your creativity again and again literally opens up the spigot to make it
3298flow continuously. Using your creativity again will help you in designing your
3299life and appreciating your journey every step of the way with ease and
3300delight.
3301Maybe not every one of these exercises will fit you or your lifestyle, but do as
3302many of them as you can, and as often as you can, and it will pay off. So
3303open your mind, and suspend judgment – that’s what curiosity is about.
3304Don’t worry about how you’re going to look, or how awkward it may seem.
3305Just submit to it. Trust the process!
3306Make notes and add to this list. Create your own creativity exercises,
3307curiosity exercises, ease and delight exercises. After you’ve done the exercise,
3308make a note of the result, what you noticed, how you felt, etc. Is there some
3309wacky or fun activity that you've always wanted to do, or haven’t done since
3310you were a child? Add it to the list, and go do it.
3311. Awaken at a different time, either earlier or later.
3312. Change the order and way you prepare for the day, i.e., order of bathing,
3313dressing, eating breakfast, etc.
3314. Change the way you greet people when you encounter them in the morning
3315or throughout the day.
3316. Try eating something from a cuisine you have not ever experienced.
3317. If you’re right handed, use your left hand, and vice versa.
3318. Change your facial expressions you maintain from your ordinary one to
3319smiling, joyous, friendly approach.
3320. Think carefully about what you say and have people comment back. i.e.,
3321instead of saying “Hello,” try saying, “It looks/seems/feels or should be a
3322great day today. Don’t you agree?” If they say “Yes,’ perhaps say, “I’ll check
3323with you tomorrow to see just how good it turned out for you,” or something
3324to that effect. If they respond negatively or seem non-responsive – try saying,
3325“Give it a chance. I think you’ll be in for a treat. Let me know.”
3326. Find something to appreciate, admire about each person you interact with.
3327. Take a different route to work, school, … and become mindful of the
3328environment you pass through, the people, houses, colors...
3329. Think about the people you deal with, co-workers, customers, supervisors,
3330vendors – and consider who they are, what they are, their problems and
3331goals. Ask yourself how you can make a big difference in their life.
3332. Try a new exercise routine for this week.
3333. Take dance lessons
3334. (Your idea)
3335If you have ever seen the reverse-episode of Seinfeld, use it as inspiration.
3336In other words, play!
3337Ease and delight, gentlemen... have fun this week!
3338~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
3339Assignment
3340Question 1
3341What did you do differently?
3342Answer required
3343Upload or Insert:
3344Question 2
3345What did you learn from this?
3346Answer required
3347Upload or Insert:
3348Question 3
3349What would you recommend to others?
3350Answer required
3351Upload or Insert:
3352
3353Ease and Delight
3354Tags: Ease and delight Seeking excellence
3355Hans Comyn
3356You are already trying. As long as you seek more excellence, you can forgive
3357yourself all of your mistakes.
3358
3359
3360Ease and Delight
3361Tags: Blurt Ease and delight Not holding back Show up Stop being so serious
3362Hans Comyn
3363Stop being so serious
3364Stop being so serious...
3365One of the fundamental shifts in the success of men in this 'game' comes
3366when we stop being so serious around women and start having fun.
3367The fear of rejection, approach anxiety and the 'pick-up' routines that
3368attempt to bypass that fear and anxiety have made us so self-conscious that
3369we have become way too serious around women, even when it comes to
3370having fun!
3371We have become so serious about having fun, that we don't know how to
3372have to have fun with the serious things.
3373We all see the value of being fun around women, but many guys (and
3374especially cerebral, intellectual guys) often ask us how to be fun around
3375women. We are talking about smart and good guys, guys who laugh all day
3376long at the office and are the centre of attention and the life of the party
3377when they are among people they know, but freeze up whenever an
3378interesting girl is around.
3379The advice these guys find helpful is the breakthrough realisation of how
3380ridiculously funny their situation is!
3381If you recall my analogy of your sword-holding ancestors that fought on a
3382battlefield and the Blood of Champions that runs through your veins, it is
3383hard not to laugh at the idea of "approach anxiety", the fear of rejection, the
3384fear of dead silences and the inability to be fun around women. That's funny!
3385If you find yourself in this situation, if you have approach anxiety, fear of
3386rejection, have a dead silence or are unable to be fun around a girl, realize
3387the tragi-comical nature of your situation, and simply share it with the girl:
3388"Tell me, girl ... don't you think it's ridiculous ... I'm this great guy, my
3389friends all think I'm very funny ... but when I see a magnificent woman like
3390you ... I choke ... I get all stiff and serious ... ain't that the funniest thing?
3391Why do we keep doing that to ourselves? Do you guys bite or something?"
3392“Funny, I just ran of something to say...tell me something interesting about
3393you!”
3394Say this with curiosity, amazement and have fun with it. Do not say it
3395seriously!
3396See the fun (great perspective!), laugh with yourself and your shyness and
3397your seriousness, and share it with the girl.
3398~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
3399Ease and Delight
3400Tags: Ease and delight Stop being so serious
3401Hans Comyn
3402Stop taking yourself so serious. Ease and delight in your learning. Ease and delight
3403when you are talking to her.
3404
3405
3406
3407Ease and Delight
3408Tags: Ease and delight Self-deprecating humour
3409Zan Perrion
3410Self-deprecating Humour
3411New found confidence in a man tends to trigger a type of cocky behaviour,
3412but there is a level of confidence that goes beyond this. Men filled with true
3413confidence, men completely and unapologetically being themselves, men
3414with a purpose and nothing to prove tend to be the opposite of cocky. In fact,
3415they playfully downplay their skills, their knowledge, their value.
3416This is what could be called self-deprecating humour, and it is the type of
3417humour that women love in a man.
3418Think about the moments you were being cocky, and what you were cocky
3419about... then think about the moments you were completely confident and
3420resorted to self-deprecating humour.
3421Aren't we being cocky only when we feel like we still have something to prove
3422(to ourselves and to others)?
3423A man with nothing to prove does not need to be cocky - he has no fear of
3424ridicule and thinks it's funny to downplay whatever he's being confident
3425about.
3426I like to quote what Cary Grant said when he was asked "What is the secret
3427to your success with women?". His answer? "I tell them I can't get it up..."
3428Another example is George Clooney, the fantasy of many many women. I have
3429never shies away from putting himself on the spot, taking a 'ridiculous' role
3430or talking about himself with self-deprecating humour.
3431One needs to have massive confidence to allow oneself to do this. We know
3432this, and women certainly know this. George Clooney is not so popular
3433despite that sense of humour, he's popular (in part) because of that sense of
3434humour.
3435That sense of humour is a symptom of his confidence, of him being
3436completely at peace with himself, a man with nothing to prove... women
3437sense that, and are massively attracted to it.
3438That's the true spirit of being a man with a purpose, and it is also in this
3439sense that you should stop being so serious.
3440In the animal kingdom, animals display cocky behaviour because they feel
3441threatened, or because they really need to mate. They feel that, and so they
3442try to impress. Remember the last time you were trying to be cocky - you
3443were either among other guys measuring up to each other, or with a new girl
3444whom you were trying to impress. Are you usually cocky with true close
3445friends or girlfriends you feel completely comfortable with? Exactly!
3446Men with core confidence, with nothing to prove, never feel under siege,
3447under threat... they NEVER defend themselves and they don't feel the need to
3448be cocky... no hint of insecurity, no need to prove or impress... no fear of
3449ridicule. These men do not need to resort to cocky behaviour; they think it's
3450funny to downplay whatever they feel confident about.
3451Remember: "You don't have to be impressive... you just have to be
3452interesting."
3453~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
3454
3455
3456Ease and Delight
3457Tags: Apply Ease and delight
3458Hans Comyn
3459Ease and Delight - Practical
3460REMINDER - Ease and delight when talking to women. You HAVE
3461NOTHING TO LOOSE BUT YOUR EGO. You cannot fail. You can only win.
3462Ease and delight.
3463Whenever she says something serious or tries to bring the interaction to a
3464heavier place, say something like:
3465- “Hmm, I don’t know what you are talking about.”
3466- “You’re still here? Wow, you must love me a lot!”
3467- “Why do you love me so much?”
3468- “It's ok... I forgive you, now come here and give me a kiss.”
3469She: “Are you a player?” - You (smiling): “I’m the worst … it’s bad, bad, bad
3470… but you’re my favourite”
3471“Of course I am inviting you to spend the night with me. Don't worry... I
3472promise you won’t feel a thing!”
3473Ease and Delight is your new mantra. Say it every day and all day long!
3474~ Hans Comijn and Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
3475
3476
3477
3478Hans Comyn
3479Debrief Ease and Delight
3480Ease and Delight, my friends, Ease and Delight ...
3481First of all, ease and delight in the learning process. Have fun on this
3482journey. Embrace your issues, your questions with amazement, wonder and
3483curiosity instead of impatiently trying to figure out the answers.
3484Do not forget you are already trying. If you are trying to do the mission, you
3485are already aspiring to excellence, and you can forgive yourself all of the
3486‘mistakes’. Never forget that. You will never be ‘perfect’, you’ll only get better.
3487And when you feel like it is not going fast enough, or you're falling behind, or
3488you’re taking steps backwards, realize you are exactly where you need to be.
3489You are already on this journey of excellence. You can forgive yourself for
3490any confusion: “Ease and delight, my friend!”
3491Second we want you to remember the concept of "ease and delight" in your
3492interactions with women. Stop being so serious. Don’t try to convince her of
3493anything. Don't ask her for anything. Don’t defend yourself, don’t explain.
3494Just be...
3495These words here on the platform mean nothing without THAT
3496EXPERIENCE, and as soon as you interact, I suggest you JUST LET GO OF
3497EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU KNOW AND SURRENDER TO THE
3498MOMENT.
3499Act anyway ... experience ... in this game of love you have nothing to lose but
3500your ego. You can only win. As soon as you act, you win.
3501And we expect nothing less from you. If you are to become an Amorati, you
3502will be someone who acts anyway. Now is the time to push past the barriers
3503that have always held you trapped.
3504Besides the willpower, have you developed a discipline to act anyway? Are
3505you ready to push past the barriers in the next weeks?
3506Are you worthy to become an Ars Amorata graduate?
3507As you answer these questions, remember that if you are committed to
3508THAT, then you can ask for what you need from us. We will not let you
3509down. This is a promise to you. Ask for what you need from your mentor.
3510Ask for what you need from us. We will do whatever we can to be there for
3511you.
3512If you are committed, that is.
3513ARE YOU?
3514~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
3515
3516
3517Invite
3518Zan Perrion
3519Spirit of Invitations
3520We have moved further along on our scale from left to right. On the left we
3521were standing alone - with our assumptions, our Saboteur, our old story. We
3522moved further to the right - toward the land of women - as we learned to
3523explore new Perspectives, and learned to choose the perspective of a
3524Champion. We also learned how to use Curiosity as a tool to approach and
3525interact with women, and the incredible power of Naming It.
3526Now we arrive at the culmination of the past weeks. We are arriving in the
3527land of women. If anything can be called the "Zan Method", it is simply this:
3528Put invitations into the world, and I leave them there!
3529In other words, don't try anything. Do not be out for any specific result. Be
3530completely open to all outcomes, and attached to none. Don't ask a girl out.
3531Or if she is free. Or if she would like to go for coffee. Or what she is doing
3532later. Instead, simply lay out an invitation. And do so without any
3533presumption or expectation.
3534You can say something like, "There's something about you... and I don't
3535know what it is. You seem very interesting... cancel your plans tonight and
3536come out with me..."
3537And you can say this very early in the interaction - sometimes even as the
3538opener! Always say it with a smile, and with delight! And without apology...
3539~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
3540Joao Fernandes
3541Recently I came in contact with something that never occured to me: For some of
3542you approaching 10 women is hard, but for others is almost nothing. The latest
3543should remember that the assignments require AT LEAST 10, not "just 10". In any
3544assignment you should push over your confort zone, be it 10, 30 or 50. Approach
3545the greatest amount of girls that you can.
3546
3547
3548Invitations
3549Tags: Apply Make statements Invite
3550Zan Perrion
3551Making Statements
3552Here is a practical thing you can do to get into the spirit of invitation:
3553Stop asking questions, start making statements.
3554In other words, do not ask a girl out. Or if she is free. Or if she would like to
3555go for coffee. Or what she is doing later. Instead, simply lay out an invitation
3556by making a statement. Simply extend the invitation as a gift from you to
3557her.
3558So, instead of asking: “Are you free on Saturday?” or “Would you like to get
3559a coffee with me?”, say something like:
3560"There's something about you... and I don't know what it is. You seem very
3561interesting... cancel your plans tonight and come out with me...."
3562Not a question – you are not asking for anything – but a statement, a gift
3563from you to her. You give her an invitation … So lay out your invitation by
3564making a statement. Extend your invitation with a smile, and with delight,
3565without apology, without presumption or without expectation of something
3566in return.
3567Example: Instead of "Would you like to get a coffee on friday." say:
3568"Let's get coffee on friday."
3569~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
3570Question:
3571Give an example of how you will change a question into a
3572statement from this day forward. Fill in the blanks: "In stead of
3573'_____', I will say: '______'.
3574Invitations
3575Tags: Make statements Invite
3576Zan Perrion
3577Turn your invitation from a question into a statement.
3578
3579
3580
3581Hans Comyn
3582Love to see how strong you guys are going. Now is when new habits are formed so
3583push through. Make it till the end, do your assignments, and you will become
3584Amorati, and be plugged into this network for the rest of your life!
3585Invitations
3586Tags: Invite
3587Zan Perrion
3588Vicky Cristina Barcelona
3589I saw the movie "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" on the plane some time ago and
3590as I watched it, I was shocked at how similar I do is to what Javier Bardem
3591does in this movie. It is exactly what I do and exactly the demeanor and
3592unassuming attitude that I have when talking to a woman!
3593He simply invites, with a smile on his face, without presumption, and
3594without withdrawing the invitation. This attitude and mindset is what I have
3595been trying to describe to guys for years!
3596Watch the movie trailer and take note how he invites the girls the first time.
3597Notice that he has never spoken to these girls before, and he simply walks up
3598and invites them to spend the weekend with him, and to make love with him.
3599"Who exactly is going to make love? Hopefully the three of us..."
3600Look at his relaxed state. Look at how he does not ask if they are free. I have
3601simply states what he wants. This is exactly correct.
3602The blond is receptive and finds the invitation fun, but the brunette
3603seemingly rebuffs him and essentially tells him to "Go away". This is what is
3604happening on the surface level. But internally, the brunette can't stop
3605thinking about him.
3606There is another scene later in the movie when they are drinking wine
3607together - a great scene. Find it and notice how the brunette tries to shut
3608him down, going into a long speech about how she is not that kind of girl,
3609and how she is happy with her fiancee, etc. And watch him as he just sits
3610there and smiles - without apology! He puts his invitation out there, and she
3611certainly does not have to accept it. He is completely fine with that.
3612Do you see any sense of rejection on his face or in his body language or in his
3613demeanor?
3614This is highly instructive, and exactly what we have been trying to tell guys
3615for years.
3616Both scenes are here in short http://www.youtube.com/watch?
3617v=zwT2fPy7nsY
3618I suggest you watch the movie
3619~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
3620
3621
3622
3623Invitations
3624Tags: Apply Invite
3625Hans Comyn
3626Exploring Invitations
3627Do this. Approach five women this week, and present them with an
3628invitation. Just like that. As soon as you have a conversation going, you can
3629invite her. Do not ask in any way. Simply state what you want. Remember
3630the spirit of ease and delight.
3631Simply ask her to join you in something you are already doing.
3632So not "Are you free later?" or "Would you like to get coffee sometime?"
3633Instead,
3634“Come with me tonight..." and "Here’s an idea: I’m doing so and so later
3635on... you should come with me!" and "I understand you can't... but you are
3636still invited..."
3637And even better, invite her in to nothing... into your world... into the
3638experience of you...
3639"That’s amazing. You should come with me." and "I have no idea what we
3640are going to do... but you are still invited!" (we will elaborate on this
3641tomorrow)
3642Simply invite her without expectation, (but do not discard yourself from the
3643outset) and then leave the invitation out there. Invite thinking that she has
3644no real good reason to refuse, but do not get disappointed if she does. Invite
3645without presumption and leave your invitation out there.
3646If she says she can't (for whatever reason), just smile and say: "I understand,
3647and you’re still invited..."
3648Remember to have fun - ease and delight. You cannot fail!
3649~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
3650Assignment
3651Question 1
3652How many women did you invite?
3653Answer required
3654Question 2
3655What words did you use?
3656Answer required
3657Upload or Insert:
3658Question 3
3659Did it feel natural to you? How did it make you feel?
3660Answer required
3661Upload or Insert:
3662Question 4
3663What would you recommend to a brother so he would feel the
3664spirit of invitations?
3665Answer required
3666Upload or Insert:
3667
3668
3669
3670Invite Invite into nothing
3671Zan Perrion
3672Invitation into Nothing
3673I think there are 3 levels of extending an invitation.
36741. The first level of invitation is when we ask a girl out, hope she accepts, and
3675when she does, we create a date around her acceptance. We hope then she
3676will like the date with us more than the other dates she has been on. This is
3677the way we usually invite a girl, and it is better than not inviting at all.
3678However, on this first level, we still tend to be "asking" for something. We
3679can say this is the regular date, a date completely dependent upon her
3680acceptance of your invitation.
36812. Than we get some more experience or follow the advice that says: invite
3682her to something you are already doing. We invite her to join us in an
3683activity we already planned. This is much better than "asking". It is a great
3684improvement from the regular ‘dating frame’, and most people teaching
3685about meeting people advise this type of invitation.
36863. I go one step further. I invite a girl into nothing.
3687"Cancel your plans and come and visit me."
3688She: "What are we going to do?"
3689"I have no idea, I have not thought that far ahead yet ... come and visit."
3690This is an invitation into nothing. Nothing is planned - you invite her into
3691the event of you and her. You and here, THAT is the event. The invitation
3692into nothing is truly powerful. It is leading. It is confident. The invitation
3693into nothing means you are inviting her into the presence of you! You are
3694inviting her into your world. It makes no difference whatsoever what it is
3695that you do. You invite her into nothing...
3696Women will never be offended by a man who invites her into his presence -
3697as long as he does it with respect and without presumption or expectation. It
3698is different, and it will set you apart from other men. Not all women will
3699accept your invitation, but many a girl has said it is very 'refreshing to hear',
3700and the right ones will accept.
3701On top of that, to extend and invitation into nothing and leave it out there, is
3702a great way to show up in the world.
3703~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
3704Question:
3705Have you ever invited a woman into nothing? What do you think
3706about it? Does it scare you?
3707Now, try it.
3708Invitations
3709Tags: Invite Invite into nothing
3710Zan Perrion
3711Invite her into nothing.
3712
3713
3714Hans Comyn
3715Unattached to the Outcome
3716In this video I ask Zan about an interview I did with a Dutch reporter.
3717Discussion
3718Question 1
3719Do you see how the spirit of invitation is a great way to show up in
3720the world, helping you to stop measuring your success by the
3721reaction you get?
3722Answer
3723Upload or Insert:
3724Question 2
3725Has your attitude been shifting in that direction? Have you been
3726recovering back to that decisionBesides your initial motivation and
3727commitment, have you had the discipline to install this new habit,
3728by acting in accordance to how you want your life to look like,
3729rather than reacting to whatever emotion you are feeling?
3730Answer
3731Upload or Insert:
3732Question 3
3733What is needed for you? What is next for you?
3734Answer
3735Upload or Insert:
3736Question 4
3737What is the number one question you have right now, based on
3738your experiences in the land of women?
3739Answer
3740Upload or Insert:
3741file:///C|/Users/MAGEVE~1/AppData/Local/Temp/Adobe/Acrobat/10.0/A9RB55A.tmp.html[21-12-2012 23:30:23]
3742Hans Comyn
3743You cannot be rejected cause you are not asking for anything. You have nothing to
3744lose.
3745
3746
3747
3748Hans Comyn
3749Debrief Invitations
3750Can you feel the spirit of invitation? Have you fed that spirit?
3751Put invitations out into the world, and I leave them out there!
3752In other words, do no try anything, do not be out for any specific result. Be
3753completely open to all outcomes, and attached to none. Desire without
3754dwelling on it.
3755Think of the spirit of invitation in this way: you are the organizer of a party
3756that has been THE PARTY OF THE YEAR for years now ... you KNOW it is
3757the most popular party of the year, and you can give out invitations to
3758anyone you want. This year, you know it will be a great party again,
3759independent of this or that girl accepting the invitation.
3760In practical terms it looks like laying out your invitation with a statement,
3761rather than with a question. It looks like laying out your invitation, and
3762leaving it out there. Do not apologize, do not defend or explain, and do not
3763take your invitation back! It looks like inviting her into nothing!
3764Go and rent Vicky Christina Barcelona to see how it is done.
3765More importantly, go out and practice your spirit of invitation. Explore that
3766spirit and find out how it looks to you.
3767I cannot stress enough how acting anyway, and acting more is impossible to
3768underestimate. If you want to learn more, if you want to learn faster, what
3769you need to do is ACT MORE and TALK MORE. Move into the land of
3770women ... move amongst them ...
3771Onwards my friends - next week more tools to help you acting more and
3772making your journey into the land of women a wondrous one ...
3773~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
3774
3775
3776
3777Hans Comyn
3778Do you love women?
3779Do you love women?
3780Discussion
3781Question 1
3782What do you love in women?
3783Why do you love them?
3784What is it about them you love?
3785Let us know in the most glorious fashion what you love about
3786women.
3787Answer required
3788Upload or Insert:
3789
3790
3791
3792Apply Celebrating women
3793Hans Comyn
3794Exploring Celebrating Women
3795Find 10 women and celebrate her as a surprise gift especially for you.
3796How do you do this? You say, with delight and a smile on your face, “Wow,
3797you look absolutely stunning.”
3798Or you say, “Wow, look at you in that dress! You look spectacular. I was over
3799there and I saw you standing over here, and I just had to come say hello...”
3800These are all just examples of how you can celebrate women. The words do
3801not mean much ... the spirit of celebration is what matters. Find how
3802celebrating women looks to YOU.
3803So fill your conversation with amazement and celebrating:
3804“Wow, that’s incredible.”
3805You can cut her off in mid-sentence and celebrate her:
3806“You are magnificent.”
3807You can celebrate your girlfriend or wife:
3808“You are magnificent, you know that?”
3809“You are magnificent, you just need to know it.”
3810“Did I tell you already that you’re magnificent today?”
3811She: “Only 3 times”
3812“Ah… I just did not want to forget”
3813You can let yourself get caught in your lie:
3814You: “You are magnificent!”
3815She: “You say that to all women.”
3816You: “Yes … and you’re my favourite.” (smile, wink)
3817You can celebrate her and the moment and create what you want:
3818“Isn't it incredible?”
3819She: “What?”
3820You: “This! You, me, us meeting … look at what’s happening here … come
3821with me and let’s celebrate life!”
3822Also, keep doing what we assigned you to do in the beginning of the week...
3823for each of the 10 women you approach, you must say this phrase at some
3824point: "I am in love with women..." Say it all the time. If she asks you about
3825something about you, why you do something for example, your answer
3826should always be "Why? Because I love women!"
3827If she says anything negative or neutral, you simply smile and say, "It's ok... I
3828am just putting myself into the world and celebrating women."
3829“You’re magnificent, you just need to know it”. Hold eye contact when you
3830say it … really mean it – stand your ground, be curious and have empathy, be
3831amazed and delighted in this wonderful creature in front of you. She’s a
3832surprise gift especially for you. You can cut her off in conversation to say that
3833or you can even start talking to her with that phrase.
3834Here is another practical example of the way to celebrate women (notice also
3835the previous themes in this conversation – curiosity, naming it, invitation,
3836ease and delight):
3837Zan: Wow, look at you in that dress! You look spectacular. I was over there
3838and I saw you standing over here, and I just had to come say hello...
3839Her: Well, thank you!
3840Zan: I have never seen you before. Amazing, huh? I usually know all the girls
3841around here.
3842Her: Hmm, really...
3843Zan: Of course! Tell you what... why don't you cancel your plans and come
3844out with me this evening? We will celebrate!
3845Her: I can't. I have a boyfriend.
3846Zan: (leaning in and winking) Ah, but that's not what I asked.
3847Her: (laughing) That's true...
3848Zan: Is that a no?
3849Her: Hmm, I'd like to, but I can't...
3850Zan: I understand, of course. And don't worry, I completely respect that you
3851have a boyfriend. But hey, I would be remiss if I didn't come over here and
3852say hello to you, now wouldn't I? And I would be completely out of character
3853if I didn't offer you a shared adventure tonight. That's just my nature.
3854Her: That's refreshing to hear. In another time and place, perhaps...
3855Zan: (looking in her eyes and smiling) Yes, I can tell... just by looking at
3856you... in another time and place, you and I would be the most exquisite
3857lovers...
3858Her: Oh really? How can you be so sure? You don't even know my name...
3859Zan: Ah, but can you feel that in the air? That sense of destiny, that
3860connection?
3861Her: (smiles)
3862Zan: (laughing) Of course you can... look at you... you totally understand
3863what I am saying...
3864~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
3865Assignment
3866Question 1
3867How many women did you celebrate?
3868Answer required
3869Question 2
3870Did it feel natural? Did it become more natural?
3871Answer required
3872Upload or Insert:
3873Question 3
3874What does this say about you? Are you a true lover of beauty?
3875Answer required
3876Upload or Insert:
3877Question 4
3878How does your attitude change if you take the perspective that it is
3879your duty as a man to celebrate women?
3880Answer required
3881Upload or Insert:
3882
3883
3884Hans Comyn
3885Debrief Celebrating Women
3886Do you love women? Than why don't you say so?
3887A man who loves women is loved by women. A man who loves women, and
3888PROCLAIMS it to the world, is loved by women. Start proclaiming your love
3889for women:
3890"Because I love women" should be your answer to all of her questions. "I love
3891women, and look at you."
3892Compliment women as a true lover of women - compliment women in the
3893context of all women. It means you celebrate the femininity in her, it means
3894you celebrate the femininity in all women. A true lover of women loves all
3895women, not other women.
3896A true lover of women knows that the power he has over women lies in the
3897power they have over him.
3898And a real woman loves the compliment of a true lover, not despite his love
3899for women, not despite his celebration of femininity, but because of it.
3900Never forget, that a beautiful woman entering your life is a gift, a surprise
3901gift for YOU.
3902When you celebrate her in that way you are doing 2 things. First, you are
3903creating a space for her and invite her to step into that space, twirl, and
3904shine like a beautiful woman. Second, you are holding her to a higher
3905standard. You are creating a space in which beautiful women will show up.
3906You are not expecting it from her specifically, but from every woman that
3907wants to accept the invitation to dance with you.
3908We hope the practical suggestions, and your application, conveys and makes
3909you feel the spirit of what we are trying to say here.
3910Have you moved in the land of women? How is the program going
3911for you? If you have been doing your missions, and you have a
3912question, please ask me by personal message.
3913The next weeks we move from charm to magnetism.
3914~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
3915
3916
3917
3918Push the envelop
3919Hans Comyn
3920Be More Animated
3921Push the envelope. Push yourself a little further outside your comfort zone.
3922Do more. Express yourself more ... put more of you into this world. The
3923world needs more of YOU.
3924The first four weeks of the Ars Amorata program was all about the stories we
3925tell ourselves. In other words, our belief system, and the way we view the
3926world around us. The themes we explored, like “Your Saboteur”,
3927“Perspectives” and “Living Like Champions” were all themes designed to
3928build awareness in our being. We learned practical tools to make approaching
3929and talking to women easier.
3930The most important idea, however, was to ACT ANYWAY. To be aware of
3931your saboteur, to choose to listen to your higher self – the voice of the
3932champion – to suspend your judgement, to trust the process and to act
3933anyway. To interact anyway.
3934Moving forward from left to right, we spent the next five weeks on themes
3935focused around how to interact with women in an interesting manner.
3936“Curiosity,” “Dancing in the Moment,” “Invitations,” “Ease and Delight” and
3937“Celebrating Women” were all themes and tools you can use to design your
3938interaction with her, tools to create and lead that dance with her.
3939Now, in this last part of the program, we are going to deal with the more
3940advanced concepts of charm and charisma. We are going to give you a hint of
3941what makes a man not only charming, but magnetic, compelling. que
3942makes a man a woman's fantasy?
3943All of the concepts we are going to deal with for the rest of the program are
3944very subtle. As a consequence, they are difficult to teach and even harder to
3945put into words. The ways to learn it is this: focus only on your intentions...
3946your genuine love and curiosity for women... and practice, practice, practice.
3947Spend as much time as you can moving around in the land of women - with
3948your love for women evident for all to see ... and LET GO OF EVERYTHING
3949YOU THINK YOU KNOW.
3950This week's theme is called "Aliveness". This is the outward manifestation of
3951charm and charisma.
3952Whenever you are interacting with a woman, let go of everything you think
3953you know, and turn up the volume you. Push the envelop a little: Blurt more,
3954touch more, be more lively, hold eye contact little longer than you normally
3955would.
3956So yes, this week's theme is an important one: Aliveness. And it feeds right
3957into all the previous themes. Think of everything you did before in the
3958previous weeks, and then go forth and push the envelope even more. Add
3959more "aliveness" to everything you say and everything you do.
3960- Be more animated
3961- Hold eye contact longer
3962- Touch her more
3963- Smile more
3964- Wink more
3965This week, we will give you some practical pointers that can help you turn up
3966the volume of YOU.
3967As you push the envelope in your interactions with women, you will start to
3968become aware of the age old rhythm of women and men. All meaningful
3969interactions have this dance... this ethereal quality. This you will learn, by
3970being mindful, and by blurting, and by acting no matter what. You will start
3971understanding the subtle concepts of what to say, how to look, how to stand,
3972how to touch...
3973Your body language will adapt itself as you become more at ease in the land
3974of women. Your touch will become just right, your eye contact just perfect,
3975and you will stand exactly where you need to be.
3976So focus on your intentions, gentlemen... explore (and proclaim!) your love
3977for women... push the envelope... be more alive and animated, and practice,
3978practice, practice - with ease and delight!
3979~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
3980Question:
3981What topic are you passionate about? What has heart and
3982meaning in your life? Describe underneath what you love about it.
3983file:///C|/Users/MAGEVE~1/AppData/Local/Temp/Adobe/Acrobat/10.0/A9RF32B.tmp.html[2-1-2013 18:21:17]
3984Aliveness
3985Tags: Push the envelop
3986Hans Comyn
3987Turn up the volume of YOU.
3988
3989
3990
3991Apply
3992Hans Comyn
3993Exploring Aliveness
3994Go into your week and approach as many women as you can. Do the same
3995thing you did in the previous weeks, incorporating all the mission themes
3996from before. And this time, based on your understanding of what we mean
3997by Aliveness, add MORE ALIVENESS to your interactions. Listen to the voice
3998of your Saboteur, make choices about your perspectives, choose to listen to
3999your higher self, use your Curiosity, blurt, Invite and Celebrate her!
4000Do all of this with more Aliveness... animation, delight, and a sparkle in your
4001eye!
4002Focus only on your intentions... your genuine love and curiosity for women...
4003and practice pushing the envelope with the women you meet in everything
4004you say and do.
4005In other words:
4006- Use more hand gestures when you talk. Be more theatrical.
4007- When you are listening to her, listen consciously and use phrases like:
4008“That is incredible!’
4009“That is amazing!”
4010“Wow!”
4011- Touch more
4012- Explore the way you hold eye contact
4013- Focus on what your intention is
4014Explore your love for women with all the women you meet this week (find at
4015least 10), become more alive and push the envelope, without taking it too
4016serious - with ease and delight!
4017Only after pushing the envelope and through practice you will get the rhythm
4018and calibration. Only after pushing the envelope will you find your voice.
4019~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
4020Assignment
4021Question 1
4022How many women did you talk to?
4023Answer required
4024Question 2
4025Did you come closer to your authentic self, your voice, while
4026pushing the envelop and being more alive? What did you learn
4027about your authentic self and the way you put yourself forward in
4028this world? What is your voice?
4029Answer required
4030Upload or Insert:
4031Question 3
4032What would your recommend your brothers if they wanted to find
4033their authentic self, their voice? What can they do practically?
4034Answer required
4035Upload or Insert:
4036
4037Pushing the envelope Authenticity
4038Hans Comyn
4039To push the envelope is the fastest way to find your voice, your authentic self, your
4040attractive self.
4041
4042
4043Aliveness
4044Ease and delight
4045Hans Comyn
4046Debrief Aliveness
4047To be alive is all about pushing the envelope, about taking that extra step
4048outside your comfort zone ... it is the only way to find YOUR voice, to find
4049better ways to express your authentic self, stress your attractive traits, and
4050give yourself fully to this world. It is your number one learning tool.
4051You have been given A LOT of elements to think about and apply in the past
4052weeks, and you may feel a little overwhelmed. That is ok. You do not need to
4053'get it' all now ... you do not even need to feel like you are controlling your
4054learning process. The information here will remain available to you.
4055Moreover - it is important to LET GO in every interaction. Let go of
4056everything you think you know ... everything you read here ... and just BE. Be
4057you, be more of you! Whenever you are interacting with a woman, let go of
4058everything you think you know, and turn up the volume you. Push the
4059envelop a little: Blurt more, touch more, be more lively, hold eye contact little
4060longer than you normally would.
4061As you push the envelope in your interactions with women, you will start to
4062become aware of the age old rhythm of women and men. All meaningful
4063interactions have this dance.. this ethereal quality. This you will learn, by
4064being mindful, and by blurting, and by acting no matter what. You will start
4065understanding the subtle concepts of what to say, how to look, how to stand,
4066how to touch...
4067Your body language will adapt itself as you become more at ease in the land
4068of women. Your touch will become just right, your eye contact just perfect,
4069and you will stand exactly where you need to be. You will find your voice -
4070the voice that is the best way to express your authentic self - your attractive
4071self:
4072So come alive!
4073~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
4074
4075
4076
4077No stages
4078Hans Comyn
4079No Stages
4080Watch this video ... it leads into our conversation of masculine edge - and the
4081steps that will take you from a charming man to a magnetic man.
4082Do you recognize this situation? Have you found yourself in
4083similar situations?
4084Have you ever wondered how to escalate from the friend to the
4085lover?
4086Stop hiding
4087Hans Comyn
4088Stop hiding your desires as a man. Your sexual nature should be the first thing
4089people see when you enter a room.
4090
4091
4092Masculine edge
4093Hans Comyn
4094A Lower Moving Energy
4095Watch this video.
4096It is the video that will open up a whole new world for most men.
4097Masculine edge cannot be underestimated, it is the number one thing most
4098men are hiding.
4099Yet it is hard to explain - put your input in the discussion to start
4100understanding the concept.
4101Masculine Edge
4102Zan Perrion
4103Tap into your lower moving energy.
4104
4105
4106Hans Comyn
4107Conspiracay
4108CONSPIRACY is probably the best way to describe and sum up how Zan
4109relates to women he desires. Everything he does with a woman is a
4110conspiracy.
4111This idea has vast implications that could be dealt with for another 90 days,
4112and it is not easy to implement, but once you start looking at your
4113relationships with women this way, you will start seeing and recognizing the
4114age-old rhythm - the dance between a man and a woman.
4115Most men have no clue that this almost parallel universe exists - and it is
4116right in front of us, we just need to decide to start looking for it.
4117Have you noticed instances of this in your past? Would you like to
4118start picking up more of those signals? Would you like to start
4119speaking the language of women? How much do you want it?
4120Masculine Edge
4121Zan Perrion
4122It is you and her against mediocrity.
4123
4124
4125Masculine Edge
4126Apply
4127Zan Perrion
4128Exploring Masculine Edge
4129Go into your week and let 10 women know that you desire them. Do
4130the same thing you did in the previous weeks, incorporating all the mission
4131themes from before. And also incorporate this new concept of Conspiracy -
4132smiling, winking, sub-communication - everything that makes up the
4133Masculine Edge of men.
4134And even though we are saying to let as many women as you can know you
4135desire them, you must do so with at least 10! And here is how we want you
4136to do it:
4137First of all, focus carefully on the intent behind the things you say. Empathy
4138is the number one thing to concentrate on. And never stray from the spirit of
4139humour and invitation and charm and delight as you practice adding in
4140masculine edge. Always make sure you show your genuine love and curiosity
4141for women.
4142For at least 5 of the 10 women, say this phrase exactly:
4143"... you should run away with me!"
4144For example, as an opening:
4145“Wow, I like your (dress|lipstick|hat|smile). You look fantastic... you should
4146run away with me!”
4147Or during the middle of the conversation:
4148"Wow, I have never met a girl from Hawaii before... I like it! You should
4149run away with me!"
4150Use your imagination, but include that phrase! And as you know already, do
4151not have any trace of seriousness in you at all. Smile and wink, like you are
4152just kidding. Put a sparkle in your eye.
4153Having fun, smiling, ... smile and wink.
4154Concentrate on the intent behind what you are saying. Don't look for any
4155result.
4156Ease and delight!
4157And for the other 5 girls of the 10, use your intuition and be a little more
4158sexual. With absolute kindness and respect, of course!
4159Say exactly this phrase:
4160"Look at you... you're a bad girl... I like it!"
4161For instance:
4162"Look at you in that incredible dress... wow... you're a bad girl... I like it!"
4163And lastly, if any of these ten women tells you that she has a boyfriend, do
4164not skip a beat! You must not change your facial expression or your body
4165language or your hand gestures or your smile at all.
4166Instead say this:
4167“Wow, does this mean we are going to have to be secret lovers? Wow... I
4168don't know..."
4169Smile, wink.
4170Remember, nothing but empathy...
4171~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
4172Assignment
4173Question 1
4174How many women did you give the gift of desiring them?
4175Answer required
4176Question 2
4177How did you show your desire? What did you say, what did you
4178do?
4179Answer required
4180Upload or Insert:
4181Question 3
4182How did that make you feel?
4183Answer required
4184Upload or Insert:
4185Question 4
4186How did she react?
4187Answer required
4188Upload or Insert:
4189
4190Masculine Edge
4191Hans Comyn
4192Connect with your darker side.
4193
4194
4195Hans Comyn
4196Shoulder to Shoulder
4197Watch this video and ask yourself :
4198Do you see how this is different from all the other dating advice
4199that is out there, from everything you were ever taught about
4200relationships?
4201How is it different?
4202
4203
4204Hans Comyn
4205Debrief Masculine Edge
4206While the main part of this program is about becoming a charming man,
4207becoming aware of and displaying a lower moving energy is an essential
4208ingredient of an integrated man. It cannot be undersestimated and it is the
4209number one thing that most of us men are missing.
4210Your masculine edge, your sexual desire, or anything you feel passionate and
4211strong about is the element in you that will take you from being a charming
4212man to being a magnetic man. It is the ingredient that makes you a woman's
4213fantasy, and it should be the first thing in the room when you enter.
4214Having said that, masculine edge is very hard to explain. It is something you
4215will start recognizing and celebrating when interacting and relating to
4216women.
4217A good way to summarize how masculine edge shows up in your relationship
4218to women is CONSPIRACY. A man conspiring with a woman.
4219Conspiracy is symptomatic for your understanding for women. Decide to
4220start picking up signals from women and you will start seeing them. You will
4221start recognizing the rhytm and flow ... the dance ... the subcommunication.
4222Once you recognize that language, you can start speaking it. You can start
4223creating it. You can create conspiracy with your words ... but they are less
4224needed than you think. A look, a touch, or the mere projection of your
4225energy ...
4226Masculine edge is a very complicated and very personal part of your
4227attractive traits. You need to explore how it looks to you. Decide to become
4228aware of what masculine edge means to you. Decide also to explore how it
4229shows up in your relationship with women --- try to pick up on the
4230subcommunication of women and explore how you can create conspiracy
4231with her.
4232It is a life-long journey, but once you start seeing this, complete new worlds
4233open up - and they are wonderful!
4234~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
4235Question:
42361. After a week sitting in the question of Masculine Edge, what
4237have you become aware of when it comes to fully accepting the
4238integrated you? What part of you were you hiding and you now
4239can say : no more!?
42402. Also, what changes in YOUR relationship with women when you
4241become aware of the world of subcommunication, of conspiracy ...
4242?
4243
4244
4245
4246Authenticity
4247Honesty
4248Hans Comyn
4249Honesty
4250Throughout this program, we have talked a lot about being direct, about
4251being honest and about creating a space in which you allow yourself to be
4252yourself, and for her to be herself and express herself. We stand tall as
4253champions, we are curious, we invite and we name whatever is in the air.
4254Still, honesty is a hazy, ambiguous concept - poorly understood and used far
4255too little. Maybe we can help your understanding of the concept (or add to
4256it's ambiguity) articulating it with the use of two fundamental truths we've
4257learned about women.
4258Firstly, rest assured... women can smell your agenda two hours against the
4259wind. She knows what you are up to. She smells your intentions as soon as
4260you start walking over to her. Women in general, and beautiful women
4261especially, have had years of training in this area - it takes a foolish man to
4262believe he can fool her and hide his agenda.
4263Moreover, a beautiful woman is so familiar and bored with men clumsily
4264trying to hide their intentions to her, that it feels like a relief to her when a
4265man stops doing that. Beautiful women find it refreshing when a man stops
4266masking his desires as a man.
4267It is in this sense, that "honesty is the greatest aphrodisiac", as Zan have
4268been saying for years. Women are rarely fooled, and they appreciate your
4269honesty, so stop hiding your agenda! A true lover "... never portrays
4270indifference or apathy in an attempt to sneak under the radar. Instead he
4271embraces his sexuality, presents it to her without presumption, is delighted if
4272she responds favourable but deeply respectful if she does not." (taken from
4273The Essence of Enlightened Seduction)
4274Does this mean you can, or even should, be blunt about you wanting to
4275"jump her"? No, it doesn't. Why? Because as Zan always says, "women are
4276complicit in their own seduction... they want to be seduced!".
4277We linked to Vicky Cristina Barcelona when the theme was Invitation. Find
4278the conversation between the 3 of them over a glass of red wine (you can see
4279part of it in the trailer). In that same scene, the blond girl says:
4280“I’ll go to your room, but you have to seduce me…” In other words, they like
4281for you to be honest about seducing her, but faced with bluntness, they will
4282have no choice but to say "no". Bluntness shortcuts the seduction - and with
4283seduction I mean courtship, i.e. the period between you two connecting and
4284ending up between the sheets, not the process of convincing her (there is no
4285such thing!) - and a woman needs that seduction to allow herself to say
4286"yes".
4287This link on the forum elaborates this issue:
4288http://www.naturalgame.com/showthread.php?t=1338
4289And here is another link: http://www.naturalgame.com/showthread.php?
4290t=4066
4291What we are saying is this: Honesty is not only about making your
4292intentions/agenda verbally explicit - sometimes is has more to do with not
4293hiding your intentions/agenda than it is about making your
4294intentions/agenda verbally explicit. Being verbally explicit is definitely part of
4295it but when you are clear about what you want to yourself and you are not
4296making excuses for it to yourself, communication to other is secondary and
4297almost automatic.
4298~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
4299Question:
4300How does YOUR HONESTY look like? Us men too often think
4301honesty is about being verbally explicit. If you start to understand
4302the language of women, can you see that 'honesty' entails much
4303more than being verbally explicit? How does your honesty relate to
4304your integrity, to your authenticity?
4305Authenticity
4306Honesty
4307Hans Comyn
4308Are you honest with yourself? Are you honest with her?
4309
4310
4311Authenticity
4312Hans Comyn
4313Vulnerability
4314Watch this video and ask yourself:
4315How can you show your vulnerability without having a "poor me"
4316attitude?
4317What is, according to you, key in doing the first without resorting
4318to the last?
4319
4320
4321Authenticity
4322Hans Comyn
4323Afraid
4324Tell a woman today about a time in your life you were most afraid.
4325Assignment
4326Question 1
4327Who did you tell? What was her reaction?
4328Answer required
4329Upload or Insert:
4330
4331
4332Authenticity
4333Hans Comyn
4334Afraid
4335Tell a woman today about a time in your life you were most afraid.
4336Assignment
4337Question 1
4338Who did you tell? What was her reaction?
4339Answer required
4340Upload or Insert:
4341
4342Authenticity
4343View Comments (0) Comment
4344Hans Comyn
4345Intimacy
4346Your mission this weeks is at the same time very simple and very hard.
4347We want you to talk to women about the concept of intimacy.
4348Think about what intimacy means to you and talk about it with the women
4349you meet. Talk to at least 5 women about intimacy. Ask them what they
4350think it is, what it means to them, ... be completely curious about the
4351concept, about their ideas and what it means to you ...
4352If you can remain present and curious about the concept of intimacy and
4353what SHE thinks it is, you will probably learn a lot about how women look at
4354the world.
4355Discussion
4356Question 1
4357What were the definitions she gave, how is that different from your
4358concept of intimacy, what can you learn about that?
4359Answer required
4360Upload or Insert:
4361Authenticity
4362Hans Comyn
4363Tell a woman today about a time in your life when you were the most sad.
4364
4365
4366Authenticity
4367Hans Comyn
4368Debrief Authenticity
4369Authenticity, and your authentic desire is a concept that is very hard to
4370explain.
4371In fact, it cannot really be explained since it is a very personal issue. Nobody
4372can tell you how your authenticity looks. Nobody can tell you what your
4373authentic desire looks like. It is your authenticity, your honesty, your
4374vulnerability, your intimacy, ...
4375It all comes down to who you are today and what you want your life to look
4376like. Questions that need to be answered by YOU.
4377All we did this week was raise some issues, raise some questions, raise some
4378awareness to guide you along this journey towards YOUR AUTENTICITY.
4379And the journey does not stop today - the journey does not stop and the end
4380of this program - that journey never ends!
4381If there is one thing we want to affect you with it is our excitement to be on
4382this journey. It is probably the most important transformation you can go
4383through. It is probably the most important CHOICE you can make. As soon
4384as you embrace this journey with ease and delight you will have arrived. As
4385soon as you embrace this journey with ease and delight, every day of the rest
4386of your life will be a beautiful day.
4387And as long as you stay committed to this journey, we will be there for you.
4388Before we start the last week - is there something you would like to ask us? Is
4389there something you would like to ask me?
4390~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
4391Hans Comyn
4392Embrace the Question
4393The most important transformation you can go through is to transform from someone who
4394desperately tries to figure out the answers to his/her questions, to someone who embraces that very question. To someone who embraces the mystery, the
4395quest. Someone who embraces his/her journey.
4396"Who am I today and what do I want my life to look like? What is my passion? What is my authenticity? What is my integrity? What does it mean to be a
4397woman, to be a man? What kind of relationships do I want? How can I truly connect?"
4398The answers to the most important questions in your life are temporary; the questions themselves are eternal. You do not have to be fixated on finding the
4399answers; it is enough for you to sit in the questions. As soon as you do, you can relax in the knowledge that you are already aspiring to more excellence in
4400your life. As soon as you embrace the question, you can find ease and delight in your journey towards more excellence.
4401The only sense of arrival you will ever get is to know you are on the right track. There is no endpoint you need to rush at, and you do not need a plan to get
4402there. There is only a path to be followed, and the next step along that path unfolds before your eyes as soon as you embrace the question. As soon as you
4403decide to sit in the question, you are on that path. And as soon as you are on that path, you have arrived. The rest of your life will be an exciting journey, a
4404beautiful mystery.
4405Embrace the mystery, your quest, your journey. Embrace the question.
4406~ Hans Comyn
4407
4408
4409
4410
4411Purpose
4412Zan Perrion
4413Feedback
4414Gentlemen,
4415First of all, we want to thank you for participating in the Beta version of the
4416Ars Amorata ONLINE Program. Obviously, there is room for improvement,
4417but we are happy the first version ran this smooth. Your presence and
4418feedback has helped us a lot to improve the program, and we want to give
4419you another chance to give some feedback, answering these questions
4420underneath:
44211. Are you satisfied with the value of this program? Was there too much? Was
4422there too little? How much time did you spend on a daily basis?
44232. Are you satisfied with the content of the program? Were you expecting
4424something different? Would you do something different?
44253. Are you satisfied with the system, the platform? Were you expecting
4426something different? Would you do something different.
44274. Is there anything else you would like to add, say or ask that would help us
4428to improve this program?
4429Secondly, if you feel like you have benefitted in any way from the Ars
4430Amorata ONLINE Program, and you think more people should be included
4431in this conversation, than please go to our facebook page,
4432www.facebook.com/arsamorata and leave a testimonial there. Alternatively,
4433you can go to our forum, and leave your testimonial here:
4434http://www.naturalgame.com/showthread.php?t=7697
4435If you have done so already, thank you!
4436Finally, here are some other resources you can use on the journey you have
4437embarked on.
4438- You can subscribe to our newsletter on www.zanperrion.com – every couple
4439of weeks, you will receive a piece of advice and news from our ship.
4440- You can continue the conversation we had among each other and with the
4441Amorati on our forum: www.naturalgame.com.
4442-You can become a friend of the “Ars Amorata” page on Facebook, where you
4443can follow the Gypsy Caravan – www.facebook.com/arsamorata
4444and find out more about our Amorati network:
4445http://www.facebook.com/note.php?
4446note_id=140358111691&id=105365474264&ref=mf
4447That is it for now.
4448Remember that as long as you stay on this journey for more excellence, we
4449and the Amorati are here for you.
4450Talk soon!
4451Zan and Hans
4452ps if you have anymore questions, do not hesitate. Ask them here and we will
4453answer them for you.
4454One more thing ...
4455What is next for you?
4456You do not need to know the goal to hear the calling. Listen to the calling is
4457the most important thing. Listen to the calling and TAKE THE NEXT STEP.
4458What is your next step? What are you going to DO next?