JNckuvR5

1(=0=)
2
3Interlude : He Who Saw The Deep
4
5(=0=)
6
7Whither rovest thou? 
8The life thou pursuest thou shalt not find. 
9When the gods created mankind, 
10Death for him they set aside, 
11Life in their own hands retaining. 
12
13-excerpt recovered and translated from ancient cuneiform tablet. Source: The Vittore Art Gallery.
14
15(=0=)​
16
17“My pokemon team? Eh, it’s kind of a long story, but hey, it’s your interview. The first was Blacky, here.”
18
19(=0=)​
20
21I raised an eyebrow at the monster, which snuffled and pushed it - her, herself - into my hand insistently. To the side of me, the elderly researcher watched intently.
22
23“This is not a larvitar.” I observed astutely, taking in the downy fur, adorable eyes and fluffy tail.
24
25“I informed you weeks ago that you would not be getting one.” Gramps retorted, and turned his attention back to the central computer, which glared obnoxiously even in the well-lit room. “Anaximander, the file from this morning. “
26
27“Yes, Professor.” The porygon responded, in a cheerful male voice. A window appeared and expanded, filling the enormous screen with lines of programming code. I noted the program name: Dexter. The new pokedex operating system. Gramps was gonna give me the pokedex v2 beta in a few weeks, as a graduation present. I wasn’t supposed to know.
28
29But then, as far as secrets went, there were worse ones to know about. Like the fact that Gramps and Elm had decided for the AI to be male instead of female over the course of a big ol’ bitch-fight about a dozen emails long. Or about the encrypted document recovered from a Hoenn black op cell captured in Saffron which Gramps still hadn’t cracked. Or the go-ahead for distortion-dunking* and psychic torture on the prisoners he’d given, oh, about thirty-nine hours ago.
30
31Of course, you could only possibly learn such things from the Pokemon Professor’s personal computer, to which only he had access. I mean, it’s not like anyone could hack into a computer protected by the greatest poketechnological mind in the world and set up an online dummy system where they could peruse the contents at their leisure. Certainly not some twelve year old punk kid on a lazy afternoon when there was nothing good on tv.
32
33You’ll strike that from the transcript, you understand.
34
35“Are you sure I can’t argue you up to a dratini?” I asked seriously. I even put on my super serious face and everything. Gramps ignored me, squinting at the characters on the screen. “A beldum.”
36
37“No.”
38
39I opened my mouth to protest and his personal assistant ducked his head in. I took him in with a glance; well-groomed, ironed clothes, military posture. Manicured fingernails. Another spy from the ACE*. They always were, somehow.
40
41I sneered.
42
43Yeah, you heard me. Ace Trainers are a disgrace to the calling. All that ‘the best of us to serve the best’ bullshit propaganda slogans you see on the site? Lies. Lies and slander, I should say. ‘As good as an Ace Trainer’, ha! I’ll kick the ass of any trainer who says that to me. That you can put on record.
44
45Going off on a tangent? Yeah, maybe a little. 
46
47But no. The ACE, and the Ace Trainers? Fuck those guys. Those guys are real trainers like eunuchs are real men.
48
49“The morning itinerary is ready, sir. In addition, you have Dr. Fuji, Leader Blaine and Leader Sabrina on hold.”
50
51I blinked. It was morning already? Shit. I checked my watch. That would make this thirty-three hours I’d been awake. 
52
53Insomnia? Please. Just good old Oak genes. You should see my sister and her hours. Daisy could starve a room full of drowzees.
54
55Gramps frowned. “I know what Blaine and the doctor are calling about. Tell Blaine I want a full psych workup before I make a decision. In addition, tell him I’m not interested in playing a mythology student. Tell the doctor that I haven’t looked his resume over. What does Sabrina want?”
56
57Well, Gramps was in full Pokemon Professor mode now, raise anchor and full-speed ahead. He wouldn’t be free for me to wheedle until later. I whistled experimentally at the eevee, who perked up and leapt down from the table to follow me. 
58
59“She wants to meet. She wouldn’t say why.”
60
61Well, she was trained, at the very least. I left the inner sanctum and listened to my grandfather’s voice fade in the distance.
62
63“Schedule her for 1:50.”
64
65(=0=)​
66
67My phone rings. I know exactly who it is.
68
69“Your starter?” She says, without preamble. 
70
71“Eevee.” I respond.
72
73“You’ll want an espeon or umbreon if you want to bring it to the professional level. And you will. It’s considered bad luck, cold-hearted and a dozen other negative things to rotate your starter pokemon out of your lineup. Sentimentality and superstition, but you can’t afford to rile it in this case. Bad PR. I recommend the espeon. Dark-types make people uncomfortable.”
74
75I pause. I must not have conveyed my incredulity. I tried again, clearly enunciating the ‘this is bullshit’ part. “Eevee.”
76
77Typically, she ignored it. “I heard you. Is there interference on your end?” I sighed and rubbed my temples.
78
79Fucking ninjas.
80
81“There’s interference in my plan, Aya. You assured me that a larvitar was going to magically become available around the time I asked Gramps for one. And yet I find myself strangely lacking a tiny indestructible midget dinosaur. Aya, where is my tiny indestructible midget dinosaur?”
82
83“The Pokemon Professor assigned it back to the research project I took it from. I’ll check, but your starter is probably in the registry now, it’s official. You’ll have to make due.”
84
85I bit back an imaginative blasphemy. Imperial, old-fashioned types like Aya were prickly as cacnea - actually losing my temper now would almost certainly undo over two years worth of work done schmoozing myself onto good terms with her. I only got away with talking like a punk because Aya liked to think of herself as modern. 
86
87It would pay off eventually with even greater dividends. Apart from officially being the Executive Manager for the Promotion of the Japanese Heritage, or some other mouthy thing, Aya Himura happened to be the younger sister of Koga - the Koga, ninja master and Elite Four. I would move in a little closer, make connections with a few of her peers, and then a dialogue with the Elite Four member would be firmly within reach. I could already see the ending.
88
89My pants rustled and I looked down. The eevee was rubbing against my leg. I contemplated a multitude of responses, most that would have upset a monster-hugger quite terribly to learn of.
90
91I was upset, dammit. Larvitar was almost the perfect counter to the Pewter Gym’s challenge, one it’d taken me years to finally come up with. With it’s diamond hard skin, resistance to pressure and ability to eat through solid granite given time, the dangers of the second stage would disappear. Skyeater couldn’t eat it, break it or bite it in two, and after that, in eight months of solid eating, it’d be a tyranitar, fit to challenge the Champion himself. There were two tyranitars in last year’s Finalist teams, damn it all!
92
93It was a giant, mountain-punching dinosaur. Really, there was no reason not to want one.
94
95I looked down at the button-nosed little fur-ball and sighed. Lady Luck, why desert me now?
96
97(=0=)​
98(=0=)​
99
100“And now, we commence the Issue of Challenge. Let us welcome these promising new trainers to the circuit!” Will boomed, sweeping a hand at me and the four other trainers with me. 
101
102I tried not to squint as the sun glared down at my eyes, and slapped on a grin at the applauding crowd, two parts rougish one part charming. 
103
104It was a real fancy-schmancy sort of deal. The Young Arcanines League was the official funder. The stated aim was to support young pokebattlers on the way to greatness, but the real purpose was plain - headhunting. The League was the pet project of the high-powered trainer agent at the podium, Will, who managed nearly a dozen upper-tier champions and countless others out of his firm on the Plateau. He was an ex-trainer himself, a Finalist of several years. No one was really sure why he’d quit - before Lance, he had been discussed as a Grand Champion prospect.
105
106I personally didn’t care about his hidden ambitions or his tendency to dress like a stage magician. The Young Arcanines did what it was designed to do - catapult promising contenders as fast as it could to a money-making level. That was what I needed. No matter how awesome I was - and I got up and pissed golden victory in the morning - I wasn’t going to beat Lance’s record without a serious backer. The Champ in his time had the whole Dragon Clan. 
107
108I had this gaydar-pinging nutjob. At least I hadn’t signed any contracts.
109
110Still, it was irritating. I’d have much rather thrown my challenge ball in the Viridian City falls on my own terms - it was a personal sort of thing - but Will himself had invited me. There were certain social faux pas that simply had to be avoided. I scowled down at the engraved pokeball in my lap, where my name was engraved in gold filigree, right above a smaller Young Arcanines League. I only knew one other person at this retarded growlithe-and-ponyta show, and barely at that.
111
112“Akiha Green!”
113
114The blank-faced girl stood up and put her challenge ball in the catapult, a small thing on stage that had been calibrated to put the ball in the water without the undignified spectacle of each trainer trying to throw it from here. I sneered, at the stage and the girl. It wasn’t that far, and I’d thought better of her.
115
116The girl was the daughter of Sheriff Green back in Pallet, and the closest thing to competent the school had produced (Red didn’t count, since he was way past just competent). Admittedly, I didn’t really know her all that well. I’d just noticed she was good. The longest conversation I had with her was at the graduation after-party, and at the time I’d been drunk and trying to convince her to join this slutty - well, drunk - hot girl who was already a closed deal in a threesome with yours truly. It ended with the slutty-type I had captured somehow finding her atrophied sense of decency because of it and escaping my clutches, which led to me drinking myself into enough of a coma that I ended up stumbling home with a rather atrocious electrode of a female. Ick. But hey, no one ever died from wanting too much.
117
118I smirked in remembrance. It’s not like it was a total loss. She ended up hooking up with Red, and that was hilarious for weeks afterwards. 
119
120What else? About her as a person, I could remember her occasional visits to the ranch with her father; the sheriff had been tight with Gramps, though I never did find out why. I called her Leaf once as a kid because it was her name in imperial - Akiha meant autumn leaf. Never did again - Leaf is a dumb name. I’d heard (drunkenly, from her, while my eyes were halfway down her shirt) that she had gotten some security offer straight out of school. Other than that, I only knew her as a girl who never fit or joined any cliques. Kind of like Red, if he sucked and had a vagina. 
121
122The catapult launched its payload with a muffled thump, and the audience applauded politely. I noticed her burly, mustachioed father in one of the front rows, wiping his eyes proudly. I’d never seen the old sheriff in a suit before. It was an experience.
123
124I zoned out as the next trainer was called, glancing down at the eevee in my lap, who was good-naturedly keeping still, bright eyes surveying the scene delightedly. It was nearly sickening how cheerful the thing was. I still hadn’t named it. 
125
126Aya had suggested evolving it into an espeon. Given the creature’s age, I judged that the a few more weeks in strong sunlight like today would probably do for activating-
127
128“An eevee? Nice starter. I’m sure it’ll be a hit at the beauty contest when you quit training.” A snide voice cut into my thoughts. I glanced to my right. The trainer was about my age, weedy, with an expression that told me it wasn’t a compliment. By his side, a bayleef nosed the carpet, looking for grass. A bayleef - no wonder I felt so fucking irritated.
129
130Keeping a picture perfect smile on my face, I responded, “Oh my gosh, I didn’t know they offered scholarships to special needs trainers too! Did you ride here on the short ponyta?”
131
132He ignored my jab, and jerked his chin at my eevee. “They may be good for quick elemental harrying in their evolutions, but they fall off in high competition where you’re forced to stand and trade.” He smiled nastily. “I guess the Oak name isn’t all it’s hyped up to be if they’re dumb enough to try bring lab pokemon into the arena.”
133
134I held the smile as I ticked off several boxes in my head. Insulting my family, skills, talking like he knew better than me, and expecting me to fall for his pathetic attempts at baiting, check. Even with a noseful of bayleef musk jazzing me up I could see his ploy coming from a mile away.
135
136I was surprised to find myself pissed by his jab at my pokemon. Even if I was somewhat unenthused by her myself, you didn’t insult a man’s starter - that shit just wasn’t on. I wasn’t about to let anyone but me talk shit about my furry little disappointment.
137
138“Alright, you shit excuse for a mareep-fucking hedge trainer, you want to talk strategy?” I replied pleasantly, in an even tone completely unsuited for the bombs I was dropping. “You’ve been feeding that bayleaf expensive product to accelerate its growth. Maybe not candy - you might not be that stupid - but high class fertilizer, Celadon Gym stuff. You probably saw that Johto Finalist whats-her-name two years back with the meganium who wrecked half Bruno’s team with doping pheromones and were inspired to pay out the ass for a chikorita, I’m guessing?”
139
140The catapult swung like a pendulum. The trainer next to me sat down. I’d be next.
141
142“Here’s the catch - meganiums don’t actually have any killer instinct worth a shit. They are fucking worthless at champion-level, let alone at the big shabang itself. That lady got around it because she’d been training it since its first evolution to fight like a houndoom and tank like a golem, and even then she only just evolved it from a bayleef in time for the match, so it’d have the all the aggression-suppressing hormones and other shit-ruining powders that confused Bruno’s fighters into shooting themselves in the foot, without the peaceful herbivore nature that takes over when they reach that age. And even with all that preparation she still rotated it out the next year because it got too mild. I think I see some flowering around the edges of yours, so it won’t be long now. It’s really sad when you step back and look at it. All that money you blew, and the most you’ve managed to do is fuck yourself over.” 
143
144I gave him the patented Oak fuck-you smirk, perfected over generations as the pre-emptive fuel for epic burns and timeless one-liners.
145
146“A gayleef? Nice starter.” I said. “I’m sure it’ll be a big hit at the oddish farm when you fail training.”
147
148“Gary Oak!”
149
150I stood up as my name was called, and the trainer shot to his feet with fists clenched, forgetting himself in the moment. Will tutted at the microphone.
151
152“Now now, it’ll be your turn very soon. Take a seat, dear.”
153
154There was laughter in the crowd, and the weedy trainer flushed. He glared at me with murder in his eyes as he sat. I smiled wider, and quipped to the audience, “I thought you country trainers were all easy-going!”, earning a few more laughs and a look that would have left me as paste across three regions if he could have weaponized it.
155
156I glanced at his bayleef. Honestly, I felt sorta bad for it. It had been used as fodder for a half-baked strategy, and now it’d probably end up sold to some new owner, or even released into the wild, which was as good as death for domesticated pokemon. All for doing what its trainer wanted.
157
158Looking down at my eevee, I admitted that I definitely could have had it worse than I did.
159
160Will had prepared some congratulation for me personally, citing some meeting between us I didn’t remember at all, and finished it shortly, gesturing at the catapult.
161
162I waved to the crowd, reached out-
163
164-and pivoting on my heel, threw my pokeball as hard as I could. My aim, naturally, was true, and I watched the pokeball drop into the water, donning a mischievous smile as I gave a comical bow to the audience, enjoying the increased applause. 
165
166What can I say? I like to put on a show.
167
168Will cornered me after the ceremony near the refreshments. As I saw him approach, I contemplated tossing my water on him in order to make my escape, but ultimately decided against it - it wasn’t nearly consecrated enough to melt him, and he was a harlequin, not a witch besides.
169
170“You’re a very cheeky boy, Gary.” He greeted me, overly warm and far too familiar, like a hobo bear-hug. I repressed the urge to run off and take a shower and smiled.
171
172“Sorry. It was getting kinda stuffy for me up there.” I shrugged, not too sheepish. “I hope I didn’t cause too much trouble.”
173
174I more or less (no homo) had Will pegged - he was the type that had been surrounded by enough yes-men for enough time that he’d convinced himself that people honestly liked to get along with him, just to deal with the falsehood, and changed his personality to fit that persona. It wasn’t uncommon among high-powered agents and politicians. It would be a mistake to underestimate Will, of course; he could still get nasty in a flash if he felt like someone was faking. But the best way to get along with his kind was just to be decently friendly back, and silently endure their over-enthusiastic and always creepy response.
175
176“Oh, honey, it’s no problem, no problem at all. The people loved it.” He touched my shoulder in a way that was probably supposed to be reassuring but ended up as a caress. Will plucked a champagne flute from the table and swirled it once, eyeing me predatorily through his theater mask. “Will I be seeing you at my party tonight?”
177
178No. Fuck no. If my ‘no’ was a pokemon, it’d be a legendary, made entirely out of hyper beams and hate, annihilating entire regions at a time, leaving only blasted craters in its wake, all shaped like the word NO.
179
180“I wish.” I replied, smiling ruefully. “But I’ve got to get on the road. So sorry.”
181
182Will didn’t respond for a moment, staring into his drink, before leaning in closer, a conspiratorial smile stretching to fill his entire face. “You’re special, you know.”
183
184A drop of sweat trailed lazily down my temple. “Really.”
185
186“Really.” The ex-Finalist confirmed, letting his glass dangle in a limp wrist. I had the unpleasant image of him studying me, like a painting in an exhibit. “The others, they’ll do well, better than most. One or two will be champions someday. But you...there’s something about you, something outside your grandfather’s shadow. It’s not just my eye you’ve caught, you know. There are others interested in seeing if the terrible might of Oak merely skipped a generation. A lot of people were a bit let down when your father failed to live up to his predecessor.”
187
188“My father was a good man.” It slipped out before I could stop it, fiercer and more hoarse than I intended. 
189
190“Many men are good. Precious few are great.” Will clucked his tongue and stared, his voice filled with a unsettling curiosity. “To see where you are in a year’s time...there are quite a few who’d pay to see that. Will you escape the Professor’s long shadow? It’s why you took a trainer name rather than your own, right? An odd name, Blue. Is it a joke?” 
191
192“It’s not a joke.” I replied quietly. I’d underestimated Will. I couldn’t risk trying to handle him without being handled myself - in a short conversation he’d already found my softer spots and was prodding at them. That was the problem with disguises. Any facade I put up would inevitably contain some element of truth.
193
194Will shrugged. “Well, it’s nothing vulgar or immature, so I’ll allow it, I suppose.” 
195
196Allow. I could almost taste my own fury. This was what the trainer on the platform had aspired to be; a real manipulator, like a spider, able to provoke reactions, every struggle bringing you further into their web. I pulled myself tightly in check as Will smiled lightly to himself, sipping his bubbly.
197
198“It’s even got a bit of mystery to it. PKMN Trainer Blue. So tastefully understated.” He hummed. “We’ll still be using your birth name for now of course, you need the startup publicity. Still, I see no reason we can’t integrate it later. Think up a story behind it if you haven’t already. Make it interesting.”
199
200I almost spat bile. I pulled my hands behind my back, clenching my fists. “Interesting.” I managed, through gritted teeth. “I’ll do that.”
201
202“Good!” Will said, all sparkles and brightness, but his eyes gave him away. Predatory. Dead. Cold. A sharpedo in the water. He waved gaily to another group of people and I watched him leave, ridiculous coattails flapping in the breeze.
203
204My pants rustled. I looked down and saw my eevee rubbing itself against my leg, ears flat against her neck in distress.
205
206I looked at the creature dully, before breaking out in a real smile, tight frustration and anger evaporating. 
207
208There was no possible way that it could have understood the intricacies of the interaction that had just taken place, context or content-wise. Yet still she was upset...because I was upset.
209
210There’s sappiness, and then there’s plain, honest empathy. You can rag on the first all you like, but the only decent response to the latter is gratitude. A proud man rejects pity, but what kind of dick doesn’t appreciate when someone is willing to be sad with you?
211
212“Aw, come on.” I protested weakly. “How am I supposed to stay mad when you’re like that? You stupidly loyal throw-rug.”
213
214Eevee yipped and leapt up at me, and all I could do was laugh.
215
216(=0=)​
217I like to talk big, but my legend nearly ended right in the Viridian Forest.
218
219The day started simple enough. I ate breakfast at a diner. Gramps called and asked me to bring a package back. Aya called me and told me about several interviews, out of which I’d eventually choose yours.
220
221I decided to do some light foraging in the Forest. I could have gone back to Pallet on the afternoon shuttle or seen a teleporter, but fuck that. I wasn’t some errand runner. If Gramps was paranoid enough about this parcel to keep in the family, then he’d get it as soon as I felt like it. 
222
223I’d only agreed to do it in the first place because a trip to Pallet was already on my schedule. Red needed some money for a license and a pokedex and was too damn stubborn to ask for it. Probably thought I’d never let him live it down - true, but still stupid.
224
225As if there was a chance in hell I would leave Red rotting in that backwater because of something as plebeian as poverty. Pallet didn’t deserve him.
226
227More? All in good time, my friend. I told you I’d talk about Red, and I will. Just wait.
228
229So I was in the Forest, tracking a pidgey. Not for the team, mind you - on the competitive level, there was nothing a pidgeot could do a skarmory couldn’t do better. But I’d always had a weakness for flying types, ever since that first ride on Gramps’ dragonite, and pidgeots are gorgeous birds.
230
231Only a bare few grow to riding weight, though, and that’s what had me out here. This was the biggest damn pidgey I’d ever seen. You could tell it’d be a rider just by looking at it. It would fetch a handsome price at any aviary I brought it to.
232
233As if I’d sell Aeolus. If nothing else I’ll keep him just to make Falkner look bad. You heard me. We can put him on a scale after the interview if you like, but I’m afraid Violet City doesn’t have the biggest birds around anymore - my pokedex clocked it at record weight. Just wait till all his plumage comes in. Looks like Hayato and his esteemed bloodlines...are gonna have to eat murkrow. Heh.
234
235I caught him in the end, yeah, but it took me most of the day and nearly cost me my life. 
236
237I managed to tag him with tracer radiation from my pokedex the first time I saw him - new feature, you’ll see it when the v2 comes out - but I still had to catch him. And um. Birds fly around. A lot. Getting him in a pokeball was a bloody pain. 
238
239I finally tracked him to his nest after sundown. At this point I was fairly tunnel-visioned on this pidgey; it was a matter of pride, now. I’d probably have done better noticing my starter’s increasing whininess as we got further in, but at the time I chalked it up to hunger.
240
241I’d just caught the pidgey - easy throw with it sleeping, quick follow-up when it struggled out - when the ursaring damn near tore my guts out.
242
243I’d wandered into her territory, you see. I can guess now that she might have had little teddiursas around given her aggression, but I never did see them. I was somewhat fucking preoccupied with the bear trying to eat me.
244
245Now, let’s be clear - that ursaring had me dead to rights. I would have died but for Blacky.
246
247Blacky’s got a little darkness in her family tree, you see. That crack about her being a lab pokemon wasn’t entirely unjustified. Gramps had taken Blacky from a study on eevees’ evolutionary inclinations. The hypothesis in question was whether eevees could be bred to be disposed towards certain members of their evolutionary tree. On one hand, their DNA was infamously volatile and mutagenic. Unpredictable. On the other, genetics were genetics. Unevolved eevee had been shown to pass traits on to their offspring - size, coat, etcetera. It was only good logic that the same could hold true of their elemental evolutions, given careful breeding. Blacky came from a long line of umbreons.
248
249Of course, genes aren’t everything. The moon was also out, nice and near full, blasting lunar power everywhere. The conditions were ideal.
250
251I barely got out of the way of the first charge, and that was pure, knee-jerk luck. Now it had stopped and come around, all several hundred pounds of mean meat and claws. The ursaring came again and would have killed me, if Blacky hadn’t saved me.
252
253Moments away from becoming bear chow, Blacky pushed me into the shadow of a tree. And then we were gone.
254
255It’s hard to describe. You know how some Dark-types can disappear into shadows and come out elsewhere and no one really knows how it works? In battle, they do it as a flanking and evasion maneuver. Those are called faint attacks. They’re short range.
256
257This was different. I fell into a tree and came bursting out of my closet. In Pallet Town.
258
259Not instantly. And that was the scary part. The inbetween. Forget fairy tales and scary stories and the Darkrai being under your bed if you don’t eat your greens. That place was...
260
261I don’t want to talk about it. Suffice it be that there’s a reason some Dark-type trainers fear the night. 
262
263Seem a little fantastic to you? That makes two of us. I look back and can hardly believe it. Most of the time I don’t want to. But I’m not having you on, pal. It happened.
264
265I woke up the next morning with Blacky by my side. The little brown rag was prancing around like nothing had happened.
266
267Things changed then. Blacky wasn’t some deadweight or disappointment. That’s nonsense. Any illusions of dissatisfaction I had left me that night. A larvitar couldn’t have saved me from that ursaring, nor a dratini, nor a beldum. 
268
269I’m not a particularly superstitious man, but I took it as something of sign. In the entire Pallet laboratory there wasn’t another starter than Blacky that I could name which could have saved me from an ursaring attack. Except my eevee. Except Blacky. 
270
271How? Because she was born to be Dark. My Blacky is a bad girl, baby. 
272
273Aya wanted an espeon. Gramps wanted a quieter life for me. And fucking Will thought he could tell me my name.
274
275No more games, or dragging my feet. It was time to take a cue from Blacky and cut loose. Let my wild side out. 
276
277How I evolved Blacky is a secret. I’ll be putting out a research paper soon. For now, I’ll say it involved moonstones and trespassing. If you think you know how rapid an eevee evolution onset can be, you’re wrong. What’s the record, 48 hours, and that was a jolteon? Not anymore.
278
279The important thing is, when I arrived at Pewter Gym I was packing heat in the form of a fully evolved umbreon, and nobody knew how I fucking did it. Espeon and umbreon are the slowest eeveelutions because they’re so flip floppy - eevees are awake a bit of the night and day, so sometimes it’s a coin-flip which they’ll end up unless you only release them during diurnal or nocturnal cycles. There’s also the friendship aspect. Eevees won’t evolve into either for a trainer they don’t like; that’s just a fact. Eggheads can talk about dopamine balance as much as they like. 
280
281Me, I think some part of it is a decision. At some point they reach a fork in the road and have to choose one path. Light or darkness. Control, or the howling dark.
282
283Maybe with Blacky’s genes she started already halfway down the latter road. But there’s still a choice. She could have told me no.
284
285But she didn’t. Because me and Blacky, we’ve got chemistry. We were made for eachother. Both of us popped out a bit crazy, but why deny our nature? We were born to be wild.
286
287And to all you fishwives and mongoloid witchdoctors who like to lynch Darks in the backcountry - Try it, and say what you please. You’d best hope to whatever heathen god you pray that I get to you before Blacky does. 
288
289You see, my baby ain’t like those half-Darks and cringing shadows. She swims where they flail. She’s purest dark and blackest night. So come at us, if you dare. Me? I’ll just knock your lights out. Blacky? She will teach you how first men learned to fear the dark.
290
291Which was how we won against Brock, actually. Honestly, the first round was tougher than the second; gravelers are tough as hell and twice as annoying. Wouldn’t stop even after Aeolus poked its eyes out. Brock finally recalled him when I told Aeolus to land and take a nap. I guess even Gym Leaders can get embarassed.
292
293Not to be rude, but Skyeater was boring by comparison. I brought a sandwich to the challenger box. Brock was used to Dark-types being able to chain maybe a dozen faint attacks in a row. Blacky ran circles around his big snake. 
294
295A cheap victory? Do you know how many pokemon exist that can actually trade with an onix? Running is winning. I’m not going to try and tweak the nose of a giant, centuries-old ancestor to dragons. 
296
297I was surprised when Brock actually gave me some grief about after. Said it went against the technical spirit of the round. I’ll tell you what I told him - what I did is no different than that trainer who doped his abra on X-Speed and won, except I didn’t use drugs illegal in the Pewter Gym.
298
299You want a realistic scenario? It would take Blacky one leap to take me out of the path of a onix in the wild, just like it would any trainer with a psychic. I like to think the best of our leaders, but I think Brock was just upset that I made him look bad. Well, tough titties. His scenario is limited and unrepresentative of real life encounters and I took advantage of it. Any smart trainer should do the same. 
300
301I got the badge, and that’s what matters. For those who think my win is all fluff without the academic content - I can list every Rock-type native to Indigo and their key traits and weakness right now, on the spot. Give me an hour and I could teach a class. Book smarts aren’t just for chumps. I’m a trainer, ergo, I know my pokemon. Any trainer that doesn’t is asking to be mulch.
302
303And that’s how I got here, giving this interview. I’d talk about my win against Falkner, but it’s not interesting. He underestimated me, plain and simple. He chose a beginner lineup and I’m just not at that level. If he knew my skill beforehand I would have had trouble. Falkner is an extremely skilled trainer, as is frequently shown in his exhibition matches. Though it was funny to see the look on his face when Blacky dropped onto his pidgeotto out of the rafter shadows; bird trainers never expect the attack from above. Heh.
304
305And now we’re here at the final issue you asked me to cover. Red.
306
307I’m not gonna talk about who he is or where he came from. Those are his to share, and you can track him down if you’re so damn curious.
308
309I’ll tell you who Red is to me.
310
311He’s the kid I grew up with. Gramps jokingly referred to him as his second grandson out of earshot sometimes, and Daisy liked to mess with him whenever he came around the house. His mom makes a mean apple crumble and his house mistermime scares the shit out of me. 
312
313He was my classmate. School was pretty much a joke for both of us, but whenever I felt like drifting off he pulled me back. Like hell I was going to let some punk like him beat my scores. Everyone else could chase me. Red could catch me.
314
315He’s a trainer. No one else has as much potential. I can say that, I’ve met the prospects. No one.
316
317He’s not my friend, let’s be clear. Get that out of your heads right now. I’m not Wallace, and he’s not Steven Stone.
318
319Who is Red to me? I’m Blue. He’s Red. That’s who he is to me. He’s the only man I fear. Every other obstacle I have a plan for - not him. He’s the wild card in the deck, always there, never predictable. We both know the destination. The only thing for it is for me to get there first. And I will. Why?
320
321He’s my nemesis. My rival. I can’t see the future, sir, but there are three people you’ll see at the Plateau this year. There’s Lance. There’s me. And there’s him. Mark me on that.
322
323I talk big? Hell yeah I do. Take a look, what’s in my hand? Two badges of the Indigo League, won through trial by combat from the champions themselves.
324
325Now tell me, what did you do last week?
326
327/TRANSCRIPT END
328
329[Seized and edited by Armed Champion Extension (ACE). Cause: Classified program breach (see Project: NIGHTSTRIDE, lvl 6 clearance req.). Conclusion: Redacted version released for public viewing, surveillance status of (PKMN Trainer, record attached) Blue (Gerald Samuel Oak) unchanged. Video clip of interview attached. Additional notes (From: WITHHELD, lvl 9): Let the Oak boy play with the fire he found. We don’t need another of Samuel’s line in the big leagues.]
330
331(=0=)​
332
333And now, for what went unsaid.
334
335In this world of monsters, there’s only one god of men left: the Champion. He ain’t just or loving, and has no face to worship, because his is ever-changing.
336
337Rather, the Champion’s an idea, an ideal. You hear ‘ideal’ and think ‘naive’, and well, you’re right. Idealism is dead, damned dead, an system of views gone extinct. It can’t grow naturally anymore, not on this cynical planet. 
338
339Yet the Champion exists, and the Champion is an ideal. We trainers revere this paradox.
340
341What does the Champion represent? It’s arguable. Responsibility, skill, purpose, purity of focus, the distillation of will? They’ve been said.
342
343I say murder. 
344
345How did humans survive the cataclysm which wiped out nearly every other non-pokemon species on the planet? We killed, that’s how, killed, fucked and grew. Pokemon came, in their packs and Wild Hunts* and we killed them, and enslaved them; built walls and drove them back. We’re out of the murky waters now. We’re here to stay.
346
347As the most powerful human on the planet, the Champion is naturally the epitome of that greatest virtue of man. But how to pay homage to such a deadly deity?
348
349My friend, what do you think the Game is?
350
351It’s us - the Champion’s chosen flock, we hunters, we slavers, we killers supreme - all of us, gathering in holy communion to worship our last great divine the only way we know how. By tearing him down and slitting his throat.
352
353Because murder of the ego is still murder, doncha know?
354
355It ain’t easy. Who can kill the ultimate killer? Who can defeat the Champion, who defeated the Champion?
356
357Why, the Champion, of course! Because only god can create a stone so large he cannot lift it, and lift it. 
358
359He who defeats the Champion, is Champion. The Champion cannot be defeated.
360
361These are the rules of the Game of Champions.
362
363And then there’s me. Gary Oak. The ladies man. The champ-to-be. The prodigal son. The best there’s ever been. Some call me mad. One calls me Blue. Haven’t you heard? I’m the chosen one! Bow down, losers, I was crowned when they fucking found me.
364
365My apologies in advance to a childhood pal of mine. But really, what’s a little deicidal kill-stealing between rivals?
366
367(=0=)​
368
369INTERLUDE END
370
371Notes and pokedex entry will be up soon.
372
373Kanto Pokemon Encyclopedic Index Entry # 197 ( J. #189 ): Umbreon.
374
375Basic Characteristics: Pure dark-type. Quadrupedal mammal, vulpine body structure, black short-hair coat, spotted with golden phosphorescent rings. Complete extent of powers over DW (Distortion World) physics, as always with dark-types, varies. Secretes hallucinogenic contact-poison from pores under stress. Member of the eevee evolutionary tree. Avg. height 3’03, avg. weight 59.5 lbs.
376
377Description: Unlike other ‘eeveelutions’, the umbreon’s status as an evolution of the rare eevee is negligible compared to the even more exclusive kingdom to which it belongs, that of the total Dark-type. Folklore and cult writing names umbreon as one of the Darkrai’s ‘abyssal hounds’ (alongside the absol, zoroark and several others), that will purportedly cover the earth in living nightmare come the end of days. It is notable that unlike the others, whose mythological roles generally involve destruction, disaster and betrayal, the umbreon’s task is that of the merciful psychopomp, ferrying tortured souls to the afterlife behind Cresselia’s holy lunar veil. Whatever the truth may be, experienced hunters universally agree that chasing umbreons after sundown is a fool’s errand, and that to do so is to invite death, or worse.
378
379Nicknames: The Moonlight Pokemon, blackdaw, mooncat, the Final Beast, endfox.
380
381"...and while it was previously thought to be the eeveelution with the longest evolutionary duration, it seems that young Gary Oak has proved us wrong. Look at this. We’ve known for some time that moonstones noticeably smooth the transition of the umbreon evolution (though do not induce it outright), and we’ve theorized that X-Speed would speed it up, given the increased metabolism and clotting rate - though given how volatile eevee evolutions are, we’ve always thought introducing drugs would be a poor idea. We simply never thought to bring the two procedures together. The only question is where he managed to get moonstones in Pewter City, given how prohibitively expensive they are. I suspect we lost a great scientist when he joined the training circuit ...”
382
383(=0=)​
384
385Distortion-dunking - an illegal, highly-classified torture method involving the use of Dark-type pokemon to ‘dunk’ the prisoner’s head into the Distortion World. Declared inhumane in every single region due to the nearly nonexistent rate of psychological recovery.
386
387ACE - Stands for Armed Champion Extension, a highly skilled trainer agency under the direct command of the Champion, founded by the First Champion after his defeat by the Second. What government bureau they are officially a division of has varied over the years; their legend, however, has not. ACE Trainers are widely known as some of the most experienced and powerful trainers around, and while their stated role is the protection of the Champion and Indigo League, they have been implicated in numerous clandestine operations, from espionage to assassination. While their recruitment pool is infamously diverse, plucking trainers from retirement age to fresh out of school, it is noted that every living deposed Champion with the exception of Giovanni Vittore has gone on to serve in their ranks. 
388
389Bayleef: This pokemon constantly emits a airborne spore which increases aggression and causes irritation in pokemon and humans. ‘Smells like a bayleef’ and other similar quips are frequently made when a person seems to be getting angry for no reason.
390
391Wild Hunt: A term describing pokemon of a certain number who have gathered in a horde to overrun a human gathering or settlement. What distinguishes a Wild Hunt from a simple stampede or rampage is premeditation and the common presence of previous, serious provocation, which may include mass pollution, over-hunting or other extreme disturbances. Wild Hunts are extremely deadly and may come with almost no warning, given the pokemon ability to universally communicate, and are often organized over mass distances by psychic-types. Entire species of pokemon have been known to up and migrate to partake in a Wild Hunt given proper cause. The last officially recorded Wild Hunt occurred seventeen years ago, breaking against the walls of Viridian City.
392
393Stay tuned. I'll post again when it's up on FFN.