HY5YyNtY

1ichxgo08/12/2018
2Sorry it took me forever to find it. That thing I sent earlier wasn’t the right thing, that was one you’d already answered. THIS is the last ask for the previous thing we were doing.
3http://the-pallid-king.tumblr.com/post/174960001213/turns-back-when-you-walk-out-blinking-and-then
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5They were fighting bc ichigo picked a fight. The little asshole lol
6I’ll respond after I read up better on what they were doing
7ichxgo08/13/2018
8Glances at you, hoping you don’t take the answer badly. “Most of it.” If he can. But you tend to catch his attention and his interest fairly easily. “After the tests, I’ll have some time off. Time away from class and my job. We can do something if you want.” Watches you flounder with the time issue before letting a small smirk curve his lips, shaking his head to confirm what you said. “It’s fine.” It doesn’t matter where they spend time together.
9ShadowThorne08/13/2018
10HOW DO YOU DIG THROUGH MY BLOG AND FIND THINGS BUT I CAN"T DIG THROUGH MY BLOG AND FIND THINGS I"M JUST SLDFKJ 
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12Ok
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14Furrows his brows a little in a not-quite frown about that answer, aiming it at nothing in particular, but not at you. "I'll try my best to leave you alone, then." But he's not making promises he can't be sure he'll keep, so you might as well prepare for him to bother you more than you'd probably like.  Maybe he should disappear for a few days, that might be easier for both of them. Nods slightly and shrugs at the same time, "If you wanna. What kinds of things would you wanna do with your time off? If you weren't tryin' to cater to me, I mean."  Corners his attention back toward you when he sees you confirm his suspicions, eyeing that hint of a smirk with a bit of a huff. "I'll get better at this." Even if he has no real desire to read the clock or any real reason to care about the time, surely he'll pick up at least a vague ability to judge how much time has passed, right?
15ichxgo08/13/2018
16“I know.” Because you said it, and you always try hard to do things that’ll make him happy. He blinks, leaning back a little at that unexpected question. What *would * he do if he could do anything? There’s something of a nervous glance thrown your way. Mostly, because he thinks you won’t care for it. “I’d visit my friends. See how they’re doing. I’ve... been kind of a shitty friend lately...” He lifts a shoulder. “Would you want to do that?” Pushing off with a toe, he hops up to sit on the counter, and then smirks. “You don’t have to tell me that. I know you will, why do you think I bothered explaining it?”
17I just used your archive lol
18ShadowThorne08/13/2018
19Nods again,  glad you seem to understand.  Watches you think his question over. He hadn't expected it to need much thought, honestly. Makes a bit of a face, because that doesn't necessarily sound fun; in all honesty, he doesn't know what that sounds like. There's always a little trepidation in his mind over the idea of meeting up with your friends. He's not shy, and he couldn't care less about what they'll think. Mostly, his discomfort lies in the idea that maybe if they don't like him and tensions are high enough, something stupid will happen, in which case, the outcome on his end can't possibly end well; either he pisses off all your friends and possibly you, he hurts someone, or he has to restrain himself and could end up on the receiving end of something he's entirely capable of putting a stop to. It doesn't even occur to him  that they could not hate him, or be neutral towards him, let alone give him a fair chance to be something other than the creature that terrorized you and half of them. But. "A shitty friend to them, 'cause you've been spendin' all your time on me." Sighs, putting a few more moments of thought into it. "Ok. We could do that." Try, anyway. Eyes that space of countertop between your knees when you hop up to sit, before wordlessly moving to take that spot, leaning back to rest against the counter between your legs. "Because you like to give me too much credit for my ability to learn human things? I dunno. "
20I didn't even think to do that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
21ichxgo08/13/2018
22There’s a long moment while you consider his suggestion. He didn’t expect excitement, but it’s discouraging how difficult it is for you to agree. Shakes his head. “No, not because I’ve been spending all my time with you. Because I could’ve been spending time with them, and I haven’t. No one made me not call them. No one made me not visit.” This is going different than he thought suggesting it would go. He’s on the verge of taking it back, except you move and he watches you. He doesn’t want to take it back. He wants to see them. “It won’t be bad. It’s just Chad and Inoue. Ishida’s off to some expensive school somewhere.” Leans forward to cross his arms around your shoulders, dropping his chin on your head. “You’ll get it.” Snorts. “Or else I’ll end up telling you the time forever.”
23Oh trust me, I tried scrolling first before I remembered c’:
24ShadowThorne08/13/2018
25"But you mighta done those things if you weren't spendin' all your free time bein' distracted by me." He doesn't have a lot to compare to, but you certainly haven't been a shitty friend to him, so it's probably not fair or accurate to think that of yourself. Perks up a little when you don't mention any shinigami names, and, maybe more importantly, say the quincy isn't going to be around. "That sounds more manageable than I was thinkin' it was gonna be." Nods slightly, but not much, since he kind of likes the way you're sitting right now. Grunts a laugh, half trying to look up at you but still trying not to dislodge you. "You just gonna follow me around to tell me the time? Send it to me on the phone when we're apart?"
26ichxgo08/13/2018
27“Maybe. But maybe not. That’s hardly an excuse.” Truthfully, he’s been avoiding it. For a lot of reasons. But he misses them. A lot. Snorts when you perk up. “They’re easy to get along with.” But he forgot something. “Oh, and my family. We’ll probably stay there, so it’d make sense. My sisters want to meet you.” Not that he’s told them more than the bare minimum. He’s really not sure where they get their information. There’s a grin. “It’s already on your phone, but don’t think I won’t. Desperate times and all that.”
28ShadowThorne08/14/2018
29"I wasn't really tryin' to make excuses for you." More trying to put it into perspective for himself.  Does an amiable job of not flinching right back down. "Staying with them? What's–" He can guess, of course, and then there's that other thing you just dropped on him. Half turns where he's standing to look at you. "They wanna meet me? They know about me?" Thinks that through as he's asking, frowning slightly. You've said your father probably knows, but your sisters too? Unless, "They know you have a boyfriend." Nods, as much to himself as anything. "Do they know it's me? A hollow and not a normal person?" He's not sure if that even matters, honestly, but if he's going to have to get along with your friends and family at the same time, and be staying there too, he'd rather know what to expect. "Do they all know... About how we were before...?" Kind of motions between them as he trails off. Obviously your friends know he's your not-so-inner inner hollow. Snorts a laugh, settling back down against the counter between your knees. "You're desperate for me to know the time? Sounds like a disaster waitin' to happen. I like it."
30ichxgo08/14/2018
31He blinks at that question. That’s old news. He’s surprised he didn’t tell you. “I never mentioned that?” Nods. “Yeah, they’ve known for a while. I didn’t really tell them, I just didn’t deny it... I tried answering questions.” But he sucks at it, so he bailed at the first opportunity. Fidgets at your line of questioning, wondering what his chances are at distracting you long enough to get out of answering. “They know it’s you.” That response is somewhat hesitant. Maybe as hesitant as your questions, because, “They’ve never seen you though. I might... need to warn them about that. My old man knows basically everything. My sisters know that you were inside me. And that it had a lot to do with my mom.” He smiles and swipes his knuckles against your chin in a faux punch. Stop making fun of him, asshole. “Someday, when I’m busy interning for days at a time and you’re having to entertain yourself, you’re going to want to know when I’m coming back.”
32ShadowThorne08/14/2018
33Listens through all that and supposes it makes enough sense. They've been together for enough time that it probably would have been hard to keep beneath notice. "Oh." It's actually almost relieving in a way. Less surprise all at once will probably make for a smoother first visit. "Ok, good." Nods slightly, even huffs something of a laugh, "Yes, warn them. It's not my favorite thing when someone's first words to me are about how much I look like you." It's not supposed to be offensive, and in truth, the idea bothers him a lot less than it used to. It's still not an observation he needs to be told; he knows. Then his hand snaps to his chest, fingers pushing cloth into the edges of the hole said cloth partly covers. "I should hide this..?" It's as much a question as a statement, though it's probably not something he really needs to worry about, especially not right now. Still. It's just about the only difference between himself and a person he can hide, and a gaping hole in someone's chest is probably alarming to someone not used to it. Arches an amused brow at the thing you do with your hand, smirking. "I always want to know when you're coming back, but why would I ask for the time when I could just use the phone and annoy you while you're away?"
34ichxgo08/14/2018
35Huffs a long sigh. You always manage to make that sound like an insult. “For someone that doesn’t like having it mentioned, you sure bring it up a lot. There are worse things you could look like. But anyway, I’m sure my dad knows a couple plastic surgeons if it ever gets to be too much for you.” Then he smirks, closing his eyes and enjoying the chance to rest. “Or I could rearrange your face anytime you feel like it.” He’s kidding of course. But he opens his eyes to look down over your should at the question. “They’ve seen hollow holes. If you covered it up, they’d probably ask where it was.” Shrugs and goes back to closing his eyes. “It’s up to you.” Snorts. “Because I won’t answer while I’m working.”
36ShadowThorne08/14/2018
37Grunts a less amused sound and shoots you a somewhat sharp look, "You mean I could look like a hollow?" Huffs a little and crosses his arms about it. "I'm not made of plastic. Or human. In any case, I'm self conscious of like two things, gimme a break. If you spent half of your entire existence inside someone else's head, you'd probably have a few identity issues of your own."  Which is a lot more openly personal than he'd meant to get with his comment, but you always take it so personally and it's not supposed to be a slight against you. But your joking offer is amusing enough to earn a snort and a smirk. "We'd still look a lot alike, since I'd have to return the favor." Blinks. He didn't know your sisters, in particular, were that involved and aware of your shinigami things. Then again, he probably could have assumed that, since you just said that you explained where he came from. "Oh. I wont bother, then. I was just tryin' to be helpful so this'll go smoothly." Puts on a mocking show of being exasperated, "You'd ignore me? Well I guess that just means there's no reason for me not to send you ten million things throughout the day."
38ichxgo08/14/2018
39He snorts. “No, that’s not what I mean. Hollows all look different anyway. You have a hole, and...” He gestures toward your head. “—a mask. Wherever you keep it.” Works his face a little more into your hair. “They don’t actually use plastic. They use your own skin. Usually.” Wraps himself a little tighter so you don’t get the wrong idea. “That’s true.” He shrugs. “It’s been a long time since I saw myself when I look at you. I just see you. I don’t know.” He grins, a quiet laugh following. “It’ll go fine. They’ll like you. They might pester you with a million questions though.” There’s another grin. “What makes you think I wouldn’t like that?”
40ShadowThorne08/14/2018
41Arches a brow, but a bit of his smirk returns. "It's always close by. Wanna see it?" He's joking. He's not about to pull it on here, even if you do call his bluff and say yes, though he'd be sorely tempted. Makes a face, but he's startlingly relaxed with their positioning. "I have only a vague idea of what this plastic surgery thing is, from context clues and talkin' about rearranging my face, and it sounds more terrifying the more you say about it." Settles his fingertips against your arms when he feels your half embrace thing tighten, but he doesn't mind it so much. It's comfortable. And he doesn't know what to say to your words. It's a more meaningful confession than it probably should be, especially considering that you're giving it to him despite being offended by what he said. It means a lot to him, but he doesn't know how to say that, so he doesn't say anything about it. "Don't laugh at me,  I know what self preservation is. Your father's very high on my very short list of people to avoid pissing off and you're both protective of your sisters." It's said in mostly amused tones. He's not nervous of you at all, and he's a little wary of Isshin, but it's not likely to become anything more than that. Snorts, matching your grin, "Because it'd be distracting."
42ichxgo08/14/2018
43Pauses, eyes flicking down toward you. He wasn’t necessarily serious, he knows how to call a mask. He runs fingers along the collar of your shirt, thinking. He’s curious. At the same time, the idea makes his stomach knot. He hasn’t seen it in a while. “Maybe.” He drops the fabric when he realizes he’s scrunching it. Snorts, going back to dragging his chin across your hair. It feels good. “It is kind of scary. But there are good things about it too. It can fix a lot of surface damage. Like healing but slower. And maybe less reliable. But for normal people, it helps a lot.” There’s another small lift of his shoulders, but he’s too relaxed for anything more. “I meant my sisters.” He’s not making any promises about his old man. Shakes his head. “Being a doctor isn’t like doing school work. I don’t think I’d mind. If I was busy, I promise I wouldn’t even notice.”
44ShadowThorne08/14/2018
45That moment of hesitation, when you pause,  catches him off guard. He expected a quick answer, whether it was a short no or a teasing yes. "Maybe?" It brings him up short and he only notices that you had a hand fisted in his shirt after you've dropped it. Absently runs his fingers along your arm, distracted for a moment, wondering how such a thing might go. Maybe. Hums a short sound to show his understanding, "Is that what your father does? Is that- You're goin' to school to be a doctor, right? Is it the same thing?" You're too relaxed. It's making him too relaxed and they were on a time limit, weren't they? Before you had to get back to school work. But keeping track of time is on you, so maybe their time just isn't up yet. "Oh, well. I'll try to like your sisters too, and maybe answer most of their questions." Snorts another amused sound. "I guess that works out, then. Either I'll get to use you for my own, selfish entertainment like usual, or I'll just have to save it all up for when you get back and you'll have to deal with all of me all at once. Sounds fun." He's kidding, mostly. If you actually told him to quit bothering you and meant it, he would. Or he'd try, at least.
46ichxgo08/15/2018
47He nods and affirms, “Maybe,” though, you might’ve been asking more than that. Your touch brings his awareness back to you, and he pushes away whatever doubt was lingering to let his smile resurface. It falters some when you immediately turn around and compare him to his father. He doesn’t like you making that correlation. True or not. “Uh... sort of. Yeah, I guess so. He’s general and pediatrics.”  It he goes right back to smiling. It’s a nice idea to think you’ll get along with them. It might all go to shit in five seconds, but it’s a nice idea. “I’m sure I can handle it. What makes you think I won’t want to get my own attention after being away that long?”
48ShadowThorne08/15/2018
49He grunts a mildly amused sound, "Ok. Maybe I'll show you some time, then." But not here. It would be smarter to be someplace not so densely populated, just in case. When your answer sounds hesitant, he wonders if he said something he shouldn't have, but you do answer, so it couldn't have been that terrible. "I don't know the difference." He can practically feel that smile, if not the actual expression, than in the relaxed looseness to your body and the arms wrapped around him. This nice, more enjoyable than he would have guessed had the idea of standing around in the kitchen while they spoke been brought up in words. He arches his brows a little, "I dunno, I didn't think about that possibility, I guess. Sounds like our evenings will be good and you'll probably be tired in the mornings when you have to go back."
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52ichxgo08/15/2018
53It’s nearly impossible not to hear that in a threatening way, even though he knows better. “Hm... yeah, okay.” He has a lot of questions about that. He just doesn’t want to ask them. “General medicine has sort of a broad area of application. Young, old, pretty much any regular ailment is covered. Pediatrics is kids, babies, sometimes a little older. That’s what I’d like to do. But...” And he hates to admit this. “I’ll probably do what my dad did and do both. It’s a good idea.” He nudges you forward a step so he can unwind his arms and slide down. Then he frowns. “Evenings?” He’s reasonably sure he told you he’d been gone long, long hours, but that seems to be the kind of thing you’d work hard not to remember. Snorts, making his way to the couch with his books. “I won’t have a lot of evenings free, you know. My dad had to do a lot of sleeping at the hospital. He still does sometimes. The hours are terrible, it’s not just evenings. It can be days.”
54ShadowThorne08/15/2018
55Smirks some, "You sound like you're changin' your mind." Which wouldn't offend him, although he doesn't get the excuse to call his mask often, despite it being as much a part of him as his sword. It's a little intimidating even for him, honestly, because he's never sure he trusts his self control enough to handle all that comes with his mask, and he's not sure if that knowledge would make you feel better or worse about your own seeming trepidations over it. "You wanna be a children's doctor. Seems like a good fit for you. Why's it a good idea to do both? Specializing in one thing makes you better at that one thing. I'm assuming it's the same for doctors." Not that human affairs really interest him all that much, but you interest him enough that he cares to ask about it. He steps forward when you indicate that's what you want, half turning to see why you're getting up. Scrunching up his features in his dislike of that idea, he comes up with the simplest solution he can, "Then I'll just stay nights with you there, if you're not gonna be busy. No one would even notice." Half way to the couch, he realizes their time is up and hesitates to follow the rest of the way. He'd promised to leave you alone while you studied.
56ichxgo08/15/2018
57“No, not exactly. I said maybe.” He hesitates, but this is so easygoing, he finally adds, “I haven’t— It’s been a while. That’s all. I still want to.” It’s a difficult thing he’s feeling. Part of him trusts you completely. Probably more than he should. That part of him isn’t worried at all. But your mask is from a time he couldn’t imagine trusting you. It’s irrational, but the other part of him half worries you’ll become the way he remembers you. It’s ridiculous and he knows it, but still. He tilts his head and considers that question. “Yes and no. I mean, I’m not going to know less about being a pediatrician just because I study general medicine. That’s learning more, not less. Besides, I probably have to study general anyway.”  He raises his brows, settling in before looking up. “Would you even be able to sleep with that many people around? It’s loud.” He’s not sure you’ve really thought about this. “And smelly.”
58ShadowThorne08/15/2018
59He nods slowly. It's not hard to understand what you're getting at. "It's still... A lot. But it's not the same as then, I'm not the same. And even before, none of it was directed at you, not really. Just had no other options but to use you." It's kind of an awkward subject and he finds himself sidestepping where he stands, like he could physically avoid it, which is ridiculous, of course, but it's a fidgety, mostly unconscious gesture. "Oh. Sounds like a lot of complicated work. No wonder these tests have you nervous. Wouldn't child- What'd you call it? Ailments? Wouldn't they be the same in little ones as in adults? They're just smaller people. Why the need for two different distinctions?" He scoffs, but it's out of amusement. "Of course not, but I don't need sleep like you do. I can sleep whenever. When I needed it, I could sleep during the day while you're busy, someplace else, here or wherever you plan on comin' back to when you aren't at the hospital." You're not wrong; he hasn't thought it through in the slightest. But that doesn't mean he was any less serious about it when he'd said it. "Unless you prefer solitude while you're there." He shrugs.
60ichxgo08/15/2018
61He thinks about it and then nods his understanding. “What happens if you lose it?” He has a pretty good idea. It’s not something he wants to think about, but he’s almost morbidly curious to know. Even with his books in his lap, he turns to follow you when you fidget. “Sometimes they are. Not always. Kids deal with all sorts of things adults don’t. You start with one and then specialize in another. Basically.” That’s an oversimplification, but he thinks you’ll understand it easily. He raises brows, scooting over to make you a spot when you keep standing. “So... you’d just come lay with me while I sleep.” He sort of likes that idea. He’d sleep better. It brings another smile to his face. He lifts a shoulder to shrug. “We’ll probably be someplace else by then. In another apartment at least.” This one is fine for a student, but small and outdated. He could probably find somewhere more suitable. “No. That seems nice. I think I’d like it. I’m kind of getting used to having you around.”
62ShadowThorne08/16/2018
63"Lose the mask?" He starts to make a face, not sure of the answer but certain that whatever would happen wouldn't be good for him. But then another meaning entirely dawns and he straightens a little. "Or control?"  And he's not sure how to answer that question either. "Oh. So bein' a kid doctor is more difficult than bein' an adult doctor? All this sounds complicated. I'm startin' to think humans can never do anything simply." Eyeing that spot you invite him to for a few moments while he debates, "Unless you didn't want me to." Snorting a laugh, he takes a step toward you to accept your offer, "Kinda gettin' used to me bein' around. Took long enough,." Of course he knows your joking. He gets a step away from turning to sit, only to change his mind and pause again, shaking his head. "I promised I'd try not to bother you while you study. I should go find something to do so you can focus on your book."
64ichxgo08/16/2018
65Frowns. “You can’t lose your mask.” Though, how certain of that is he? “Can you...?” But either way. “Control. That’s what I was asking.” He’s not sure why it’s hard to look at you while he asks. He already has a pretty good idea of the answer. But it’s always awkward to talk about. Shrugs. “I don’t think it’s necessarily more complicated.” There has to be a better way to describe it. “Medical doctors usually have general training, because everything in the human body builds on general knowledge. And then you can study more on specific things.” Snaps his gaze back up to your face. “I want you to. Why would you think I don’t?” Except then you tease him by making him think you’ll sit. He’s half tempted to pull you down. Only you’d hate it and probably snark at him. And he really does need to study, he’s just relaxed with you right now. He sighs, but nods.
66ShadowThorne08/17/2018
67Scrunches his nose. "I don't think so, not while still breathin', at least." And yet, he likes trying to answer the actual question even less. The idea of showing off his mask isn't sounding all that amusing anymore. "You were just supposed to say no. I don't know what would happen, probably wouldn't be fun for very long." He knew there was a chance of that happening before you asked it, of course, but putting it into words makes it seem worse. "Mm. So they're both complicated, I see." He's fairly certain you  didn't mean that, but that's what he's taking from this conversation; humans are complicated, and you're choosing to go to school for something even more complicated than normal human stuff. Arches his brows a little when you give him that look. Shrugs, "I dunno. Just makin' sure, I guess. Or if you decided you wanted the evening to yourself at some point." Hesitates a minute longer, because he's enjoying your company and this not necessarily all that interesting conversation, but he finally takes a step back. "Lemme know when I can bother you again."
68ichxgo08/17/2018
69Frowns then narrows his eyes. “Why did you ask me if I was supposed to say no?” He doesn’t need an answer. You were being a shit. He huffs, but it’s mostly for show. That answer evaporates any pretend annoyance and he tries to keep his face impassive. No, it wouldn’t be fun, and he’s caught between wanting to be supportive and wanting to be a coward and leave it at that. He exhales a slow quiet breath. “We could go back to Hueco Mundo. Unless you think it’s a bad idea.” He won’t push if you do. It’s taking a lot of willpower to offer in the first place. His attention stays on you even after you move back. “Yeah, okay.” But it’s sort of a miserable prospect, so he adds, “Unless you can sit still and be quiet...?”
70ShadowThorne08/17/2018
71Huffs and crosses his arms, "Because I wasn't really bein' serious. I figured you'd have no interest." Waves the idea off, not looking quite at you, "Only if you're honestly interested in seein' it. " And willing to accept the risks. It wouldn't be so bad if you had a way to get out of Hueco Mundo on your own. If he lost control, you could always just duck out and leave him to wear himself out in his fit of rage. But without him to create a garganta for you, you'd almost certainly end up in his way, being the nearest thing worth setting his sights on as you would be. Perks up at that offer, only to hesitate, then go back to being pleased all in a single breath. In nearly a whisper, he says, "No promises." but moves to take that offered seat anyway, drawing his legs up to cross under him as he aims a smile at you. It probably wont last long, but he'll give it a try anyway.
72ichxgo08/17/2018
73“You figured I’d chicken out, you ass.” He’s not fooled by that diplomatic reply. But there’s no heat in it. Or not much anyway. Though, now that he’s said that, if he backs out he’s pretty much called himself a chicken. “I was before you made it sound suicidal.” It might be suicidal though. That’s realistic. He trusts you. He’s not sure he trusts... whatever your mask makes you. And just thinking about it has him weary and stressed. He sighs. “I didn’t think it’d get to be a depressing topic. I do want to, because it’s part of you. But I don’t think it’ll be the easiest thing. I don’t want to do it if it’s going to be something we both hate.” He doesn’t want to make you feel ashamed. He leans against you as soon as you’re sitting. It’s hard not to return the smile, even if it’s a little strained. But then pulls his books out, grabbing a pencil and something to write on.
74ShadowThorne08/18/2018
75"No- Not really, not the way you're makin' it sound. I was mostly expecting a fast refusal, not for you to entertain the idea." It's not the same as backing out of something, or even the same as being fearful of it. Gives you a somewhat uneasy smirk, "I probably wouldn't try to kill you too hard if I lost control. Maybe just have an extra hollow on hand. Mindless rage, right? Shouldn't be too hard to redirect." He would point out that the one and only time he ended up masked, when they still shared your body, he managed to keep from killing you or your friends, but he's honestly not confident that restraint wasn't more you than it was him. And he did still maim one of those friends. It sounded like an awful idea to begin with, and it's sounding worse the more they pretend to consider it. Decides to just come out and agree with you. "It's likely to be something we both hate. It's not like I get a lot of practice trying to keep myself under control with it." He still struggles with his self control enough without the mask, and he's had a decent amount of time to work on that. In truth, he probably wouldn't hate it, not even the act of losing control and getting a chance to really let loose. But he very well might end up hating the outcome of that. He glances over again when you lean against him, wondering how he's supposed to manage to leave you alone and be quiet while you do that. He's just not going to mention that though, you can find out the hard way in five minutes.
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79ichxgo08/19/2018
80“Oh.” Half frowns. “Why wouldn’t I entertain it? You made it sound like you wanted to do it. You don’t?” He’s almost positive that aside from everything he brought up, you were actually interested. Glances over and adds, “I wouldn’t push you off on someone else.” It’s so strange to know mentally that he’s not afraid of you, and yet, to be so rattled by this other version of you. But he blinks, forgetting his books for the moment to turn and look at you fully. “Would that help? Practicing?” Because that’s an entirely different idea altogether. If they were working toward something, he could stomach it. He’s sure. That’s different. And it’s not all that often he gets the chance to help you with your things. You help him all the time.
81ShadowThorne08/19/2018
82"I dunno, it was as much a joke as anything." Shrugs, gaze sliding away from you, doing his damnedest not to actually give that question a concrete answer as to one way or the other. Manages half a laugh at your declaration. "Someone? I said a hollow, it's not like any of us are innocent or harmless." His attempts at not giving you his direct attention redouble when you stop pretending to look through your books. Settles his hands in his lap, gaze flickering to you briefly before he shrugs again, "Dunno that either. Never had the chance to find out. It'd make sense, though, right? Gotta practice to get better at anything." Settles back in his seat some, because this doesn't actually seem all that terrible. Though the matter of how to keep you from trying to manage him if he loses control is still an issue. "You can control your mask, right? But you still had to practice to be able to wear it for longer periods. Kinda the same idea. I'm confident I could wear mine close to indefinitely, but my control is... tentative." It's not something he likes admitting. It's HIS, and he's a hollow. He should be able to use it, he should be skilled and comfortable with it.
83ichxgo08/19/2018
84He leans up to try and follow your face when you look away. “Then why won’t you look at me?” He sighs, sitting back but not taking his gaze off you. “That’s not the point.” You give him a brief glance, but it’s nowhere near enough to settle his curiosity.  He nods. “Do you want to practice? I would do it with you. You always helped me get stronger.” Not always willingly, but he’s not worried about that. You’d help him now. He gives another nod when you ask about his mask. Truthfully, his mask is so pathetically weak these days, he never even bothers trying to call it anymore. Maybe if he bothered exercising it, it’d get stronger, but he can’t imagine it being useful again. “I’ll help you. If you’ll let me.”
85ShadowThorne08/19/2018
86Shoots you a sharp look that doesn't land on you so much as in your vacinity. "Because I don't know how to answer that, didn't I just say I didn't know?"  And then you're asking more questions he doesn't know how to answer. Does he want to practice? Yes; easy enough. Does he want to embarrass himself in front of you and potentially do something one or both of them will regret? Not so much. "I don't know." It seemsike he's repeating that a lot in this conversation. He hates it. "Maybe. There'd be some things we'd need to figure out first. It's not as simple as yes or no."
87ichxgo08/19/2018
88“Okay.” To all of that really. He’s pushing. Its not on purpose though. But he doesn’t want to pressure you. “Just think about it. When you decide what you want, that’s what we’ll do.” Sits back again, turning his attention to his book just to give you some space. Takes a few notes, glancing over every now and again, but mostly trying to focus. If he wasn’t reasonably sure you wanted to, he wouldn’t care if they let the topic go. Hueco Mundo would be the safest bet. Far from any one he doesn’t want in danger.
89ShadowThorne08/19/2018
90Crosses his arms over his chest, but some of the rigidity leaves his posture when you so easily subside with your questioning. Busy as he is thinking all this over, now that it's been brought up, he barely even notices those few looks you cast his way. Up until this conversation, and the offhanded comment he'd made almost entirely in jest, it had never even occurred to him that he could just practice. That he could just ask you to help him with this. It's a strange concept, and your willingness might be even stranger. After a few minutes, he pushes out a long breath, attention sliding back towards you. "If you can come up with a way to guarantee that I wont hurt you -I don't care how; get the hell out of the way, out of the area, or know for sure you can keep up until I wear myself out, have help, doesn't matter- then... Yes, I'd wanna do it. But only if I know for certain that I'm not gonna snap out of it to find I've hurt you."
91ichxgo08/19/2018
92He flicks his eyes your way to notice that closed posture. Can he keep up with you? He has no idea. He doesn’t remember much of what happened in much detail. He’s wondering what happened to you saying you probably wouldn’t hurt him. Maybe that was said the same way the offer was. Un-seriously. He nods again. He’s doing a lot of that. “Alright. I mean, I trust you, but I can stay back enough to get a good head start.” He’ll think of something. He’s never had to try fending you off like that. For all he knows, it won’t even be possible. Still. He offers a smirk, trying to keep this light. “Usually, you want to hurt me a little bit.”
93ShadowThorne08/20/2018
94He arches a brow, his expression a little dry. "A head start? You're best idea is to try to run?" Though, if it really is just a mindless rage, than that might work. Who's to say he'd even bother perusing? Why would he? Then again, why wouldn't he? All that reiatsu of yours would almost certainly draw him. He snorts, attention dropping slightly, to the curve of your mouth, before he uncrosses his arms and rolls his eyes, a smirk of his own tugging across his features. "I do, but only when it's on purpose and for fun."
95ichxgo08/20/2018
96He sits a little straighter, coloring some when you say it like that. “You said to get out of your way. I thought that’s what you meant.” He could just attempt to stay nonthreatening. But one way or another, he’s pretty sure he’ll survive. He lifts his eyes. “When should we try? I have two tests tomorrow and then a day off before my last class takes theirs. We could go after I get back tomorrow. With any luck, you kill me and I won’t have to take the last one.” He’s kidding. Which you hopefully know. He likes that smirk you give, and he shrugs. “Then if I’m still in one piece after, we can come back and I’ll let you hurt me on purpose and for fun.” And he’s not kidding so much this time.
97ShadowThorne08/21/2018
98"I meant to get outta Hueco Mundo entirely," Assuming that's where it would happen at, and it seems a safe assumption. Something occurs to him and his features twist in absolute dislike, but he ventures tentatively, "...doesn't the creepy shinigami have a- Like a training grounds kinda thing, that you used when first tryin' to learn to use my abilities?" He's almost certain Urahara would jump at the chance to see and monitor what he can do. And it would mean that you wouldn't be entirely on your own. "I dunno. There's no hurry. We should probably wait until after everything, in case something does happen." But he shoots you a mildly disbelieving look, before realizing you're not serious. "I'm not about to help you get outta that test. You chose to go to school, you get to suffer the repercussions now." With a snort, his smirk widens. "In that case, I'll have even more incentive not lose control and not wear you or myself out too thoroughly."
99ichxgo08/21/2018
100Wrinkles his nose. “That’s just running away on a bigger scale.” He watches you for a second. “Which time? I trained with Urahara to get my Shinigami powers, I trained with Shinji and the others to control you. They both have underground places like that, but I doubt it’d hold you in if you wanted out. And I’m not sure Urahara could stop you, even if he tried.” But if you’re suggesting Urahara, then maybe you wouldn’t mind him asking about a way to get in and out of Hueco Mundo. But even weak hollows can open a path, and he has hollow powers however small. He’s not sure why he can’t. “I’m sure I would be fine, but I don’t want to gamble other people.” He snorts though, settling more into your side. “And you think I’m the one that’s uptight.” He nods, because that was basically the idea.
101ShadowThorne08/21/2018
102"Yeah, but a lot less likely to get you ceroed in the back." Makes a face. Part of what you say is a major stroke to his ego, even if he's not all that surprised. The rest of it is making him like the idea even less than when he'd said it now that you're talking about it. "I dunno, I didn't realize it was two different places... My memories of some of this stuff is vague and not always entirely visual. Now that I think about it, though, I do remember an entire room full of masked shinigami, but not at the same time as your other friend." Shakes his head a little, setting the task of coming up with details aside, since that wasn't his point. Narrows his eyes on you, "Who say's I wanna gamble you?" But he can't keep the look up and his attention slides off to the side again. Especially when you lean into him like that. But maybe his fingers sneak against your side to slip under your shirt enough to find skin.
103ichxgo08/21/2018
104“I would survive a cero.” Maybe not anything after, but he’s pretty sure he could live through at least that much. He’d rather not get ceroed, but it’s not a fear of physical pain that bothers him with all this. No one ever died from being in pain. Shrugs. “They were almost the same anyways. It doesn’t really matter. Just wondering.” That look he gets catches him unprepared though, and he didn’t mean that to sound so self-deprecating. He doesn’t answer, because he doesn’t have an answer. He’s sure someone could put him back together again. If not, he’ll just cross over. It doesn’t even seem like that big a deal. He glances over when you touch him, studying you a second before pulling his book closer. He should be working, but this seems like an important conversation. “Just because we bring up the worst that could happen, doesn’t mean it will.”
105ShadowThorne08/21/2018
106"If I was wearin' the mask and out of control, it wouldn't be a normal cero." Said a little dryly, but you're probably right. You're the strongest creature he knows of, in a lot of different ways. If anyone could stand up to him long enough to get any semblance of practice in, it'd be you. And you're really the only one he'd trust anyway, which is just another reason this is probably a terrible idea that they should stop entertaining. "Were you tryin' to get at something, then? By bringin' the two different places up." He doesn't really mean it to come across as accusatory, but it might come out sounding that way anyway. It seems an odd thing to ask if it doesn't matter anyway.  He catches the way you shift your book and realizes how much of your time he's taken up when he said he would leave you alone enough to study. He pulls his touch from you with a shallow sigh. "That's true. And we can discuss it more some other time, when we actually have time to get into it. You should be studying, I promised to let you."
107ichxgo08/21/2018
108“I know that.” He didn’t say it’d be pretty. Maybe he insulted you though. Truthfully, he’s hoping it wouldn’t come to that. Shrugs, glancing over. “No, not really. If it all went wrong I think Urahara would be more likely to survive. He’s smart. But if all the visord were to fight against you. All of them...” No, he still doubts they would be able to bring you down without killing you, if they could manage it. He wouldn’t bet money on it. “I don’t know. I’d rather practice on our own first. And then somewhere like Urahara’s.” He would like a training ground of his own. He could get a lot of training in. They both could. “I don’t mind. It’s something we need to talk about.” Although, you’re right. He should get something done. He straightens his notebook, turning back to his book and scratching out a note.
109ShadowThorne08/22/2018
110Shrugs a little, giving a noncommittal sound as response, less because he's giving in and more because he's not sure where to go with this. Other than insuring that you're aware of how ugly it could get, there's not much he can do or say. You'd know better than him if you could or couldn't handle it.  Slides you a studying look as you're talking, finally seeing that you really do realize the danger he poses and you're just more willing to sacrifice yourself to it than others. Which you said as much, but he'd thought you weren't comprehending what he could end up doing to you. Finally subsiding, he nods. "Ok, if we go through with it, we'll give it a trial run and see what happens. Go from there. I can leave my sword here, that'd be one less thing for you to worry about." Not much, all things considered, and when he'd still been using your body that time in Hueco Mundo against the fourth espada, he'd been able to call the sword, but it had been close by and he has no idea if there's a range on it, so maybe it'd only be a delay in his retrieval of his sword, but it's the best he has at the moment. "Yeah, but not necessarily right this second. We can talk about it whenever. You only have so much time to study and I'd have to eat your instructor if you did poorly because of me, so you could try again."
111ichxgo08/22/2018
112He listens intently to the sounds you make, since they’re doing a pretty good job of letting him in on your mood over all these things, and he can pay attention without looking like he’s paying attention. He’s doing his best not to worry about it. He’s almost certain this is a big step of trust between them. Even if the entire thing might keep him awake at night. In the long run, if it works. If you learn control of some sort. It’s just one less thing he’ll have to worry about. And that you’ll have to worry about. And you trusting him not to die when you’re convinced there’s not much worse than you in that form... it’s probably the most flattering compliment you’ve ever paid. Intentional or not. “I can’t imagine it’d slow you down any, but it’s still probably a good idea. Unless, you remember where you left it and come back to this world looking.” He’s positive you would eventually. But it might not come to that. He can’t help the smirk that tilts his lips. You know he wouldn’t actually like that, but the fact that you thought about it at all says a lot about your level of concern for his welfare, and he can appreciate that. He jots another note. “Thanks. If someone gave you a hard time, I’d hurt them, too.”
113ShadowThorne08/22/2018
114He huffs a dry laugh, "No, it wouldn't slow me down, but it'd mean nothin' sharp is comin' your way right off the bat." Not that he couldn't make a good try of tearing you limb from limb with his bare hands. But. Skews his features. "...that's not a bad point." He could certainly cause a lot of destruction here. Even if he didn't actually go after anyone specifically, there could be casualties. It's not exactly an uplifting thought. So he turns toward the other part of their conversation and kind of tries to move away from discussing any potential practice for the time being. If it happens, it's probably still a little ways off anyway. "You'd eat them?" He arches his brows in exaggerated surprise, not at all serious. He didn't miss that you didn't say the same thing he did. "What constitutes a hard time? I gotta see this."
115ichxgo08/22/2018
116“That’s not comforting at all. I think I’d prefer sharp.” As long as they’re going to talk about ways to die terribly. Shrugs. “Of course it is, you think I haven’t thought about it a thousand times.” Or dreamt. Though, when he thought about it, it was him losing control. Mostly. “But that’s been a while. I don’t think about it as much these days.” Digs in his bag for a highlighter before blocking in a particularly interesting paragraph. Huffs and slants you a look, ignoring that eating comment. “A lot of things constitute a hard time. Anything that pisses m—“ No. “Anything that pisses you off.” It’s the same thing really. If it pissed you off it’s almost guaranteed to get him worked up too. Glances over just enough to find your eyes. “I don’t really like the thought of people I don’t know touching you.”
117ShadowThorne08/23/2018
118"No?" It was honestly supposed to be. "But you'd have an easier fight if I didn't have it." Though, with some extra thought, you'd probably refuse to use your sword against him if he didn't have his, so maybe it wouldn't be easier to defend yourself, maybe it'd be more difficult for you. Even though you admit that it hasn't happened in a long while, he still feels a twinge of something unpleasant. "You used to worry about me losin' control a lot? I guess I shouldn't take that too personally." His attention lowers slightly, as he watches you mark your book in bright colors. And why are you ignoring his eating comments, that's the funny part of this. "That's a lot of things, you sure you want it to be that broad a field? You're gonna be eatin' a lotta people." He shifts to lean back against you, tossing his legs over the arm of the couch. "Well that works out, 'cause I don't like when people I don't know touch me either."
119ichxgo08/23/2018
120“I guess so.” Not much easier. Not enough to matter, he thinks. If you end up wanting him dead, he’ll end up that way sooner or later. “Do you think you’ll want me dead that much?” He stops marking, looking over, but then just sort of shrugs non-commitally and goes back to it. “Not just you. But yeah, don’t you?” He shakes his head. “It’s not personal. I didn’t even know you then— when it started. And it’s been months at least.” Since he had dreams about it anyway. He presses his lips. “I didn’t say eat. You’ll have to do the eating on your own.” But he leans in enough to nudge you, dropping his cheek on your head when you lean like that. “I’ll soften them up though.”
121ShadowThorne08/24/2018
122He shrugs, humming a nuetral sound that he almost leaves you with by way of answer, but decides to give you a worded one -though maybe not anymore meaningful- after a moment. "I dunno. No. Not really. Im not sure it'll be up to what I want, though. It might just come down to what's closest, or what's most threatening." Or maybe he's making it a bigger deal than it needs to be and nothing will happen, maybe he'll have more control than he suspects. He corners his attention on you with a grunt of laughter. "If I said no, as we're litterally talkin' about it, would you believe me? But no, not under normal circumstances. Before, at worst, if I lost my temper I mighta hurt whoever was the cause, but it woulda ended there. That's not so bad when the alternative is considered. And now I have much better control over my temper." And it probably helps that he spends most of his time with you, because even when you piss him off, he doesn't want to hurt you. He shakes his head slightly, an amused tone to his voice. "Wow, thanks. I really need help with that part."
123ichxgo08/24/2018
124Slides his eyes your way and says quietly, “Maybe you should eat first. That would help, right?” Does it even work that way? Are you ever not hungry? Can you eat enough not to be hungry in that state? But then he smirks, liking his next thought. “What if I smell a lot like you?” You always seem to like that. Or you bring it up often enough. And he’d have a fun time making sure of that. “Oh,” is the only response he has to that. It’s kind of a lonely feeling to be the only one worried about it. But he’ll survive anyway. Nudges you again. “Hey. Shut up. That was good offer. You think I’d do that for just anyone? You’re so lazy, I figured you’d like it.”
125ShadowThorne08/24/2018
126He thinks about that for a moment, deciding,"It wouldn't hurt." Though he's not convinced. Still. He can't help but match your smirk, snorting a laugh, only to pause. "You might be on to something with that. If it really does turn out mindless, if I'm runnin' on nothing but instinct-" he wouldn't attack himself. He winces a little, but says it anyway, despite assuming you'll dislike the wording, "familiar territory. Why would I go after something that's mine?" He glances over at that small response, frowning a bit, but he can't see how what he said would be a bad or unwanted thing. He huffs a breath when you nudge him, "Yeah? You help complete strangers, why wouldn't you offer it?" It's an amused sort of teasing, though, and he makes an amendment to your statement, "Lazy, maybe, but not when it comes to food."
127ichxgo08/24/2018
128He pauses and starts to wrinkle his nose, but then stops himself. That’s basically exactly what he’d meant to imply. It just sounds different to hear it out loud. He considers it for another long second and then shrugs it off. You clearly don’t mean anything by it. Or at least, you don’t mean anything he isn’t deciding to let you get away with. He nods. “That’s the basic idea. So you think it’ll work?” He snorts. “Fine. Don’t appreciate all the trouble I go through for you.” There’s a smirk though, and he drops his hand on your head to tilt your face back for a kiss, letting go of his book in favor of perching fingertips on the skin of your throat. And it occurs to him somewhere in that moment that he’s holding such a huge chunk of his life between his hands. All of the good. Bad. Everything. He pulls back from the kiss, moving the hand up from your throat to swipe a thumb along your lower lip, feeling that not so rare urge to tell you exactly how he feels about you. Except... he’s getting more and more gun shy about how uncomfortable it makes you. There’s a pause while he tries to think up something that might translate properly or be equivocal, except what comes out is something he hadn’t intended at all. “You’re so damn strong, this whole thing is a little terrifying.”
129ShadowThorne08/24/2018
130"It... wouldn't hurt?" He gives you a somewhat forced, guilty smirk about repeating the exact same thing he already said, before nodding. "I think it'd help. Not sure if you'd be completely in the clear, but I think it'd at least dampen things some." It makes enough sense, and it might be a better approach than trying to find ways to make himself less of a threat, which might only serve to put him more on edge. "You go through a lotta trouble to soften my food for me, do ya?" He arches a brow. "You're full of shit and you're lucky I like-" He starts to get a little snarly about you tilting his head back, until he feels your lips and your fingers and any animosity falls away in favor of enjoying the kiss. He hums a quietly pleased sound, the tip of his tongue following the touch of your thumb. When you speak, though, a slight frown settles across his features and he pulls away enough to shift to better face you. "Then lets not do it. There's nothin' keeping me from practicing on my own. I don't want you to be afraid of me."
131ichxgo08/24/2018
132You don’t know, but that’s fine. Most of this is all going to be experimental anyway. If it doesn’t work, they’ll try something else next time. Assuming he’s alive. He nods. “We’ll try that then.”  Then he smirks. “You can rub on me a lot.” Not entirely what he had in mind, but practically the same thing. “I’m assuming the messier the encounter, the more effective it’ll be.” He drops his hand, letting you move your head back to a more natural position. “I don’t either.” He sighs and takes a long moment to order his words. He wants this to make sense and not to be something you hate hearing. “The practice wouldn’t just be for you. It’d be for me too. I don’t want to have this between us. I don’t want to be worried about it.” He still breaks out in cold sweats if he really dwells on everything that happened with Ulquiorra. “I want to get past it.”
133ShadowThorne08/27/2018
134He snorts his amusement, "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" But he's not saying he wouldnt enjoy it too, which strikes him as kind of odd, before he quits questioning it and dismisses it. He shrugs, not knowing if messier and more violent would be better than calmer and less dangerous to start, but he's not one to ease into anything when he could dive in head first instead. He's not sure he likes that sigh, though, and tries not to frown the entire time he's waiting for you to speak your mind. Taking the time to think your response over,he nods slightly. It makes enough sense, and there's no reason you shouldn't get something out of it, whether that's as little as a good workout or an end to whatever trepidation this entire topic seems to bring you. "Ok, we'll do it, then. And we'll either kill each other or we'll learn something. You better not hold back, though, whether I lose control or not. The messier the better, right?"
135ichxgo08/27/2018
136“You already know the answer to that.” He likes the way you look when you ask though. And it’s hard not to picture the entire thing, which is more than a little distracting. But he also has a lot of work to do and time is passing whether he does it or not. He smiles some when you agree, because you’re letting him have more say in this than he figures he deserves, since it was originally supposed to be about you, not him. He feels fairly confident to say, “we’ll learn.” Because that’s probably one of the things both of them are best at. “I won’t hold back.” He thinks that probably means something different to him than it does for you, but it’s still a promise.
137ShadowThorne08/29/2018
138He grins his agreement, eyeing that distracted expression that settles over you for a moment. He settles back against the couch, content to get comfortable again now that the conversation has taken on a bit of a less serious feel. Your books are still out and he's still distracting you, even though he'd said he wouldn't, and that makes him rethink getting comfortable. Maybe he really should disappear for a while. "Good." To both things, really. But he can't quite help the smirk tugging at one corner of his lips, eyes cornering to  glance at you. "If this works, just think how formidable we'll be after."
139ichxgo08/29/2018
140That grin catches his attention again, your teeth in particular, but he shakes it off. Snorts. “That’s not the first thing I was thinking of, but it would be a nice side-benefit. We haven’t done as much training together as we should.” Here and there, yes, but they could be so much better if they showed more dedication. Not that they were ever bad to begin with. “We should work in training when I have some free time too.”
141ShadowThorne08/30/2018
142He hums a sound that's almost as wistful as it is agreeing. They really haven't trained enough, not seriously. All their little play fights are exactly that; play, more for fun than to actually challenge each other or themselves. They're a good way to blow off steam, but they could be more than that. "I think so too. We should make it a regular thing." Do you have any friends that could keep up with them? It be interesting to mix it up every once in a while, but only beneficial if any third parties could actually keep up. So maybe that's a subject to worry about later. First, they have to manage to avoid killing each other, "At least we know what we need to work on now. What I need to, at least. Should be good practice for you too."
143ichxgo08/30/2018
144He nods, kind of excited about that idea. Too bad he has so much work to do. He sighs. “If I finish, we could—“ But that’s not right. He can’t get all messed up before his tests. “Or maybe not...” Although, “Urahara’s might not be a good place for you to use your mask, but we could probably fight reasonably serious there without hurting too much.” He nods at your comment, but then snorts. What’s he practicing? Not dying? He should’ve started that a long time ago. But then there’s a frown. “I’m not getting anything done. Go eat. I’ll be finished for the night by the time you get back.”
145ShadowThorne08/31/2018
146He arches a brow when you don't finish your sentence, but kind of smiles, since it's easy enough to figure out what you were going to propose. "We have plenty of time after you're done with all these tests." He thinks about that, but aside from knowing it exists and having a very vague idea of what it felt like more than what it looked like, he doesn't know much, so he shrugs, "It'd hold up better than anything around here, at least." Both brows raise when you start verbally shooing him away. You're the one that invited him to sit down with you even though he wasn't going to. But ok, fine, he should have left to entertain himself when his original half hour of your time was up. He stands to leave, "Not my fault talking about fighting is more entertaining than that book." It's said as a tease and with no seriousness, as he reaches out to brush fingertips against the side of your neck, before he turns for the door.
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150ichxgo08/31/2018
151You’re right, but he’s still unsatisfied. Though, he brushes that off, nodding. In fact, they’re sort of planning on a rather important maybe-but-hopefully-not-fight that’s a huge deal. You’d think that would be enough. He growls at that comment, but it’s obligatory. You’re insulting his book and he’s already having a hard time finding it more interesting than you. But the sound evaporates at the feel of your fingers cool against his skin. He likes that touch and it brings his attention back up. “Want me to call when I’m done?” If you’re staying here and not leaving anyway. Otherwise, he’ll probably just sleep until you get back. And then be rested enough to enjoy a few hours with you. His head stays up long enough to watch you leave before dropping back to his book, taking another note.
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155ShadowThorne08/31/2018
156He snorts a laugh at your growl, hearing the lack of commitment in it.  Shrugging, he hovers long enough to make it obvious, at least to himself, that he was quite content to stay here with you instead of making himself scare so you can focus on that book you don't care much about. "Up to you. If you want my company, than sure. If you need the night to yourself 'cause of school or whatever, I can be busy." If he's too busy, he's not likely to answer anyway, even if you do call, but that comes down to timing that neither of them has any control over. In any case, "I wont go far." And he slips out the door before either of them can find something else to keep talking about and prevent him from leaving and you from studying. Hunting and eating isn't a bad way to spend the night.
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161ichxgo08/31/2018
162He always wants your company. Even the very few times he didn’t, he still did. As little sense as that makes. “I’ll call.” His eyes flick back up as soon as you leave. But he forces himself back to work, he’s six or seven hours in when he figures he’s done enough for the night. Getting up, he finds something to eat, pulling out his phone to call, holding it to his ear as he takes a bite and waits for you to pick up.
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166ShadowThorne09/01/2018
167He flashes you a short grin when you say you'll call him, but doesn't linger. Like he said, he doesn't go too far, hunting for hollows worthy of the name that are fairly close to the apartment, but not being too picky about size or strength. He's more wasting time for your sake than because he actually needs to eat, though eating is a good excuse for any occasion. He's just starting into a fresh one when his phone goes off and he drops his weight onto it, dropping his free hand across its mouth to keep it as quiet as he can while he answers without preamble, "Done studyin' for the night?"
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171ichxgo09/01/2018
172He snorts at that answer, but then nods somewhat tiredly before remembering you can’t hear it. “Yeah. Eating. Are you done?” He holds his phone between his ear and shoulder, going to the sink to make some tea, filling it with water and reaching for the tin of tea with a yawn. “You don’t have to hurry back if you’re having fun. I’ll just eat and take a nap. Whatever you want.” Putting it all on to boil, he leans back against the counter, closing his eyes. “What’s that sound?” But then. “Never mind, don’t answer that. You’re busy. You could’ve just called back.” It’s kind of amusing and kind of alarming, and he really hopes you’re not busy with anything terrible, but he doesn’t want to know.
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177ShadowThorne09/01/2018
178Done? "Uh. Not quite-" But what he wants is to annoy you with his company until you try to send him away again, only this time you wont have a good excuse, so you'll be stuck with him. He puts real thought into killing it and being done early, the idea made all the stronger when he nearly drops the phone as his snack struggles. Shifting, he gets a kneel across its throat and uses the hand over its mouth to push its head around until he can feel the resistance of muscle, tendon and vertebra in the neck. "Not busy enough that I didn't notice your call- Wait, I can do that?" Of course he knew he was physically capable of calling you back... What he means is that he didn't realize it was acceptable. "You wouldn't'a been annoyed or something? Never mind, I'll do that, then." And he hangs up without waiting for a response or saying a goodbye he still doesn't know is standard for phone calls.
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183ichxgo09/01/2018
184There’s a pause as he listens to whatever you’re doing on the other side of the phone, hands pausing from cleaning up his food. There’s a snort and he starts to respond, except you hang up on him before you stop talking long enough for him to get it out. He pulls the phone away to look at it, but then smirks and turns it off, sitting it on the counter. He shakes his head with another snort. “Idiot.” It doesn’t count if you’re not there to hear it, right? Not that he ever taught you any different. And he doesn’t plan to. He sort of likes your phone etiquette. He pours some tea, wondering if you’ll call right back or if it’s going to be a while, since he couldn’t tell from your cryptic responses. Once it’s finished, he brushes his teeth, finding your thickest, most comfortable blanket before settling in on the couch, flipping on the television and lowering the volume just to have the noise.
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188ShadowThorne09/02/2018
189He takes the time to tuck his phone away before he starts back in on the hollow. No sense in wasting it, right? You hadn't made it seem like he was on a time limit or anything, but he tears out all his favorite bits to enjoy, even though that kills the hollow quicker,  so he can get back to you. He's a few steps away from what's left when he remembers he said he'd call back, and pulls his phone back out to do that, taking a second of studying the screen with a light scowl until he figures out what to push to make it call you- he's never actually done this part, yet. He walks as he holds it to his hear, going straight to telling you he's done, because that's how it always works when you call him; he can start talking and you can hear him. But he pauses to frown a little more when he ends up with that annoying ringing sound instead of you.
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193ichxgo09/02/2018
194He blinks awake, tensing reflexively before he registers his phone vibrating and he must’ve fallen asleep somewhere back there. He scrubs a hand across his eyes, answering his phone and wincing at the brightness. “Hey.” His voice is low and tinged with sleep, but he still manages a smile. “Guess you’re done.” He twists to lay on his back, dropping his arm across his face to shield him from the light of the television. He should turn that off, but it means getting up and he’s comfortable and sleep warm, so it’s probably not going to happen. “Come home and lay with me.” Is that too needy? He’s not sure, but it’s what he wants and he’s too tired to think about putting up a front.
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199ShadowThorne09/03/2018
200You sound tired, which isn't really a surprise. He's been away quite a while and all that studying has to be so boring. It'd put him to sleep, at least. He snorts his amusement, "Guess you're right." He laughs again when you issue that sleepy demand. "Don't tell me what to do. You're in luck, though 'cause I wanna do that anyway. I'll be back quick." And, to make good on his word, he hangs up without further prompt or comment and uses sonido to cross the few miles of city blocks and streets he'd left between him and the apartment while he left you alone. It's a short few minutes before he touches down before the front door, pushing it open. He makes a show of being offended as he crosses the space - careful to push the door shut behind him - when he realizes you've got his best blanket. "Gettin' kinda gutsy, aren' ya? Touchin' a hollow's things without askin' first."
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204ichxgo09/03/2018
205Eyes still closed, he smirks again when you hang up, flicking his phone off and dropping it to the floor beside him. Even tired though, he has no problem tracking your reiatsu, still smiling when you come through the door. The smirk only grows when you ask that, and he opens one eye. “I touched all of them. Do something about it.” Which would be a more convincing challenge if he wasn’t still half sleep and making no attempt to move. Or at least, no attempt other than throwing back the edge so you can crawl in with him. “Hm. Hurry, ’s cold.” Then, “I made tea.” In case you want to hold it. Sometimes you do that.
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210ShadowThorne09/04/2018
211He scoffs his best offended sound and, without turning any lights on, crosses the apartment to enter their room, where he loads up with as many of the offending blankets as he can carry, and returns to drop them all on top of you before he starts climbing in underneath to find that spot you're making for him.  "I don't want any tea." But he blindly finds the edge of your shirt to push his chilly hands against your stomach for good measure. "And this is what I'm doin' about you touchin' my blankets."
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216ichxgo09/04/2018
217He frowns and opens his eyes again when you don’t climb in with him, tilting his head back to find you, except... you’re gone. He grumbles a displeased sound and rolls over to face the couch and go back to sleep. Really. You have one job. Only, that’s when he hears you come back in and all those blankets fall on him. But he gives a low, pleased hum in response when you follow them, working to get as much skin contact as possible before those freezing fingers find him. And he doesn’t do anything less than squirm to get away as he sucks in a loud breath at the cold. “Nnh...!” Except, he cant go anywhere. ”Fuck. Shit...” His teeth snap together and he twists his head to glare at you, tired and unamused. Mostly unamused... “Asshole.” But he manages to hold still, waiting for the frigidness to wear off then plants his feet into the back of the couch and shoves, making substantially less room for you. As in none.
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222ShadowThorne09/05/2018
223He likes that pleased little hum, but since he knows what's coming and you don't, it's more amusing than satisfying. And your reaction to his chill is even better than he was hoping for; that squirming you do. It's all very funny to him. Untill you shove backward into him and there's a split second where he realizes what's happening and knows he isnt reacting in time, and he hits the floor with a small grunt. He lays there for a second,before his laughter resumes and he sits up to grin over the edge of the couch at what he can see of you under all those blankets, considering doing it all over again.
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227ichxgo09/05/2018
228He sends a glare over his shoulder, not that you can probably see it from down there. He huffs and rolls back over to face the couch again. “You’re uninvited.” Part of him considers joining you down there for a nice wrestle at the sound of your laugh, but the harassed side of him is too busy ignoring you. Or pretending to. “Don’t even think about it.” He doesn’t have to look at you to know what you’re doing back there. “And I won, these are all mine now.” He’s pretty sure that’s hollow logic, right? Not that he figures you’ll take him seriously.
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231ShadowThorne09/06/2018
232Snorting, he grabs your phone from the floor beside him. Youre probably lucky he didn't land on it. "I'm not uninvited,you like me too much for that." It takes him a mildly frustrating moment to find what he's looking for, and half the amusement of it will probably be lost because of that, but he ends up letting a particular scene from Jaws play on your phone just for the theme song. "Too late, I'm already thinkin' about it." And, with the movie and it's music playing, and still grinning of course, he readies to pounce.
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237ichxgo09/06/2018
238He gives a dismissive hum, huddling more into your blankets until he’s cocooned. Honestly, he’s almost most of the way back asleep, so any time lapse is lost on him. Except his eyes snap back open at that music, like the response has been programmed into his brain. Dread curls in his stomach for the barest of seconds, a knee jerk reaction to that sound, before he flips back over to give you his darkest, sleepiest glare, willing you to believe all his attempts to menace you, so he doesn’t actually have to move. “Do it and I’m gonna beat you until you can’t get off that floor.”
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243ShadowThorne09/09/2018
244He watches you stiffen and turn that glare on him with amused satisfaction. He just found the idea funny, but your reaction makes it so much better than he would have guessed and he only grins all the wider at that threat. "You claim what's mind and threaten me? I hope you're prepared to deliver." And that's all the more he has to say before he finally pounces, throwing all his weight on top of you. He wonders, for the briefest of seconds, if this is kind of cheating since you'd been so sleepy and out of it when he got back, but immediately dismisses any notion of unfair advantage. You can take care of yourself, and he'd given you plenty of warning; it's you're own fault you're still laying down. Throwing a blanket over your head, he digs down through a small mountain of cloth to find the first bit of warm skin he gets to with cool hands.
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248ichxgo09/09/2018
249Okay, well, when you say it like that... But he yells a startled sound at that pounce, cutting off with a oomph, when you land on him, because he really thought that would work. Or at least, he thought it’d put you off long enough to forget you wanted to do it in the first place. “Hey...! You know, I’m trying to sl—!” He curses, hands going up to yank that blanket back down, only you decide to attack his middle with your cold ass fingers, startling a yelp out of him before he can get his hands back down to grab at your wrists. “What the hell!? Why are this damn cold...!?” Or maybe he’s just that warm. Trapped under so many blankets, he can’t even move enough to get a better hold on you. And really, fuck this. Yanking his hands back, he pulls his feet up and uses his arms and legs to just shove the entire mound right into the floor.
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253ShadowThorne09/09/2018
254This is all well and good, until you start retaliating and then, honestly, it's that much more fun. Even when he ends up on the floor a second time, scrambling in half desperation to get ahold of you in the effort to at least drag you down with him, though he may have made a tactical error with all those blankets, which make it hard to even find you. Hitting the floor with a grunt and another laugh, he grins, "This the part where you make good on that threat?" He can't honestly tell if you're mad at him or if your reaction is just grumpy from being rudely woken up while you were trying to fall asleep, but he isn't too worried about it, even sprawled out across the floor.
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259ichxgo09/09/2018
260He doesn’t need you to drag him over, because as soon as you’re halfway to the floor, he jumps unconcerned about any stray knees and elbows that might find you. He huffs, attempting to catch those hands before they can start in again, except he’s having to dig through blankets first. But as soon as you laugh, he zeros in on where your head is, reaching up to pluck the layers off so he can see who he’s about to beat the hell out of. “Yes.” Except first, he’s going to lean up and kiss you. That’s the only apology you’re getting. The rest of the blankets are ripped off until he can get to the rest of you, and when he does, he flops back down, looping an arm around your waist to keep you still, so he can get comfortable. He presses his face up against your neck where he likes it, using your shoulder to rest his head on before going still again with a satisfied sigh. He likes wrestling with you more than he should, considering both of them have such short tempers, but just now that’s all he has energy for. “Now stay still for a while.”
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264ShadowThorne09/09/2018
265He's grinning all the while, braced to defend himself - though this doesn't really feel much like he's about to get his ass kicked, or like there's about to be any sort of real fight at all, honestly. But you say yes, so he tries to be ready, only to find it really difficult to be ready to make you eat your words  when you kiss him instead. He huffs out a lungful of air when you flop back down on him, bracing hands against your shoulders when you start wrapping around him. His efforts at readiness officially fail when you start to settle on top of him instead of trying to get even. Slowly, he pushes his arms around you. "You really showed me. No way I'm gettin' off this floor for a while." He squirms enough to pull most of a blanket out from under them and drags it over as much of you as he can reach, before settling down some, dropping his head back to rest against the floor.
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270ichxgo09/09/2018
271“Right. You’re beat and you can’t get off the floor. I win.” He really, really hopes you don’t feel the need to prove him wrong.  But he blows out another satisfied breath when your arms settle around him. Though, that squirming makes his brow furrows and he gives a halfhearted growl of annoyance. But once you’re still again he relents, moving his hands to find your fingers so he can catch them and warm them up. And when he’s satisfied you won’t give him frostbite and they’re semi warm, he tucks them underneath his stomach to keep them that way. Then he pushes his arms back around you.
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275ShadowThorne09/10/2018
276"Ehh. I feel like I could probably get up if I put some effort into it." But not agreeing is about as far as he takes it, for now, since he likes this too. Your growl earns a huffed sound that's partly amusement, partly just recognition of your annoyance. He considers growling back, just to be a shit and show you up, but he can't be bothered to work up enough annoyance of his own to make it a good one, so he doesn't bother.  He hums his fullest approval when you start warming him up, gladly working his fingers under your shirt to find warm skin. You're so toasty after being wrapped up in his blanket while waiting on him, is it really any wonder he couldn't keep his hands to himself?  Sighing a contented breath, he settles in once more, comfortable enough on the floor, even with your weight on him, that he'd be pretty willing to spend the night here, as they are. Leaning up briefly, he brushes his features against the top of your head in what passes as an affectionate gesture, before laying back again.
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280ichxgo09/10/2018
281He goes still, waiting to see if you do, but relaxes again as you keep laying there. Your humming sound brings a smirk to his lips and he can feel those small wiggling motions, squirming just a little when it half tickles. He’s pretty happy to replace your heated blanket for a while. He can keep you warm and you can keep him cool under all your blankets. It works out pretty well. When you do that rubbing thing, he runs teeth across your skin before closing his eyes and making an attempt to fall back asleep. But this is so nice, he also sort of just wants to lay on you and enjoy himself. “You sounded busy earlier.”
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284ShadowThorne09/10/2018
285A little surge of heat shoots down his spine when he feels your teeth, instinctive and half defensive, half desire. But aside from a slight tensing, which relaxes just as quickly when nothing comes of it, he doesn't react to it. He shrugs, but only the shoulder that your head isn't laying against. "Was eatin'. About to, anyway. My dinner didn't wanna cooperate while I was tryin' to talk to you. You got all your studyin' done?"
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288ichxgo09/10/2018
289He raises his brows and starts to lean up, except he changes his mind before it amounts to anything. It sounds like you didn’t get to eat enough, but surely you’re fine or you wouldn’t have come back. He nods. “Yeah, as much as I can tonight. I can try to work some more in before class tomorrow morning.” None of which he wants to think about right now. He gives a long, tired stretch, threading his legs through yours before making a more serious attempt to fall asleep.
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292ichxgo09/11/2018
293He can’t say how long it takes him to get there, but he knows he’s not going to make it. By the time he’d figured out your intentions, arrived at Urahara’s, had the Senkaimon constructed, and traveled through Soul Society... He’s fast, but he can’t teleport. It’s been too long. He’d nearly chewed the scientist’s head off in an attempt to get him to go faster. 
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295When he reaches Seireitei, when he feels your reiatsu and it confirms every nauseating fear he’s been trying so hard not to believe, he doesn’t know if he’s more pissed off or crushed. 
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297There’s a guard waiting, and he avoids who he can and incapacitates anyone he can’t. He recognizes more than one, but he’s not thinking clearly enough to put names to faces. 
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299He lands one last time to check for others before pinpointing your reiatsu and launching after you. He’s not being subtle. He’s not even attempting it. If anything, his dread and anger have his presence flaring too high to be ignored. He doesn’t care. If he gets to you, he’s not sure where to go from there. Drag you away if he can. As much as he’s tried, he’s never managed to figure out how to open a garganta on his own, so Urahara had fixed him something else. A way to get through worlds. It’d ended up being some sort of long strap to tie around his hand and wrist. He can only hope it’s not complicated enough to need practice, because he’s doubting you’ll leave before getting what you came for, which means moving you by force. 
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301When he finds you, he’s so panicked and infuriated the scream of your name that surfaces isn’t planned, he’s only aware of it when he hears it himself. Sword out, he’s not sure if he should attack them or you.
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307ShadowThorne09/11/2018
308He'd known this would be a possibility. He'd known the shinigami of Seireitei were tricky and clever when they wanted to be, but how could he have guessed they would be this prepared for him? Them, more likely, not just him. It's unlikely they anticipated him approaching without you nearby. In fact, now that he thought about it, maybe that's why they'd sprung the way they had. They weren't going to get a better chance at either you or himself than when they were separated, and surely Seireitei knew you and he couldn't be kept separated unless literal worlds away. But he just hadn't expected the kind of attack, the trap, he'd run into. 
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310And now he was in Soul Society, surrounded by Shinigami, alone–
311Or at least he thought, but even distracted as he is trying to keep himself calm enough to work something out and trying to get some sort of deal struck for you, the heaviness of your reiatsu is impossible for him to miss. Internally cursing you for being here, he tries his damnedest to ignore the anger he feels coming from you, baring his teeth. There's nothing he can do about your arrival, except maybe try to send you back. He's pretty confident in his ability to make a garganta out of Soul Society, and so far none of the shinigami have gotten close enough to pose him a real threat. There might be enough time for that, while everyone's off balanced by your arrival. 
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313Except the scream of his given name is enough to have him whirling, opening himself to those gathered, as he faces you with a wild, hard look. He sees your sword, stiffening, and half reaches for his, before changing his mind. Instead of going for his sword, he starts pouring energy into clawing a tear into the air between you and where he's fairly sure you're going to land, willing it to work, for the garganta not to fail, for you to be unable to stop your momentum and be forced through. He can't do this while at the same time try to negotiate, and also defend himself if it comes to that, and he's sure it will.  "Don't ruin this." It's snarled and low and he doesn't even know if you'll hear, but you wouldn't listen anyway, so it doesn't matter. It only matters that it works and that you realize, eventually, that he's doing it for you.
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318ichxgo09/11/2018
319That garganta is so sudden and unexpected, it half swallows him before he even thinks to stop. All his focus had been on speed, on getting to you, on throwing himself into the middle of whatever bullshit you’re trying to pull.  He hardly has time to whip his head back to catch the scene he’s leaving before he slams into the sand with enough force to raise a plume of sand. You, your words, and too many people he doesn’t want to fight or hurt or kill. The image flashes through his mind. But not a single one he’d put above the promise he made to keep you out of their hands. 
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321He whips around. But of course you wouldn’t go through the trouble of sending him through only to let him jump back across. It’s another desperate, raging scream of your name he sends after you, even if you can’t hear it.  A fist anchors in his hair, the other still uselessly clutching his zanpakuto even if there’s nothing to do with it. 
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323But his cuff. The strap of some stiff fabric that’s still wrapped around his fist and forearm. He switches his sword to the other hand, lifting it to slash through the air the way he’s seen you do countless times. He tries for the better part of an hour before he’s so frustrated he’s back to screaming wordlessly. He throws his sword hard enough to send it flipping end over end before it arcs and falls then impales itself half the blade deep into sand. He hopes that somehow, no matter how improbable, you fucking felt that. 
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325The rage doesn’t last. He drops to the ground, fisting his hair before it occurs to him that even if he isn’t capable of making a garganta, he’s literally in a world full of beings that can. And he’s so damn stupid for not realizing that earlier. Latching on to his sword, he yanks it from the ground, nearly flying over the sand, he’s running so fast.
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329ShadowThorne09/11/2018
330If the circumstances were any different, that probably would have been hilarious. He makes  note of keeping it in mind for if he ever gets the hell out of here and gets to see you again. As things are, though, he manages little more than a savage smirk as he turns back to those around him. He already half regrets not diving head first through the damn thing when he had the chance, doubting he'll get another. But he hasn't gotten what he came for yet. He needs promises, he needs guarantees and some form of assurance.
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332But the more he thinks about it, the more naive it sounds. Soul Society doesn't even keep their word when they give it to you, and you were always an alley. He's a hollow, a dangerous one at that, and wanted for murdering and eating a shinigami. It was stupid of him to think they'd work a deal with him, and that they'd stick to that deal.
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334He should have come to you with his idea. He knows you would have tried to talk him out of it, you would have been on guard and watching him, and he would have been furious about it. But it wouldn't have been. This.
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336And he knows, too, that sending you away won't work forever. Finally, he pulls his sword, sneering with the belated understanding of what he's gotten them into and realizing he's in for nothing but fighting.
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342ichxgo09/11/2018
343Finding a hollow, even in a world full of them, is so much harder than he expected. He’s lost patience only a few minutes in and tries to keep tearing a hole as he runs, trying random combinations of pushing spiritual pressure through his hand, then the strap, then both. When the air catches under his clawed fingers, it’s so unexpected he almost trips, slamming on the brakes to wheel around. 
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345The gate closed as soon as he lost contact, but all he needs is enough space to shove his way through. He tries it again, going over the last few things he remembers attempting. When he finally gets it, he hangs on bodily and there’s no graceful way to climb through other than with brute force, wrenching the edges and shoving them wider. But he makes it. It just takes a second to realize that he has no idea where he is. It’s not Seireitei though. It’s the world of the living. 
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347Grinding his teeth, he sets off. It’s a city and he plucks a cell phone out of a random person’s hand, ignoring the yelling that occurs, planting a hand on them to keep them at arm’s length, surprised at the attempt to reclaim it from what can’t possibly look like anything other than a ghost. Is technically a ghost. But he finds his location and tosses it back.
348He’s on the far side of Tokyo. He flashsteps all the fucking way back to Urahara’s, slamming through the door in a rushed sprint that sends papers and merchandise flying, and runs for the gate, ignoring the stunned questions that follow. Kicking your ass won’t be anywhere near enough pay back for all this shit. He makes it back though, but this time, he’s learned. He smashes his reiatsu down, clamping it off.
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354ShadowThorne09/12/2018
355He's in the middle of tearing his way through as much of Seireitei as he possibly can, shinigami and buildings alike, in a last, desperate hope that if he makes this costly enough for them, maybe they'll just count themselves lucky and leave you alone. He's already made his desires clear and simple; to leave you out of it. He's already told them everything; what happened and how, that you had nothing to do with it and no control over the situation, that it could have been a lot worse if you hadn't been able to step in when you had - though that's not necessarily true, it's not a lie either.  And now he's giving them every reason he can to hesitate, to see him as a threat, to remind them of what he can do, so maybe they'll overlook you.
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357Even with the situation so dire, it's kind of nice to let lose, to revel in the chaos and destruction he causes. It's a shame that it will inevitably lead to his demise.
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359He's distracted trying to break everything in his sight, and that's going to be his excuse, because he notices you far too late to do anything about it. The snarl that rips from his throat when he finally catches wind of you is half frustration, half pained rage. Pained, because he knew you'd come, but it's so far from what he wants and there's nothing he can do about it. He takes it out on the nearest shinigami and does nothing to hide or tone down the brutality of from you or anyone else.
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363ichxgo09/12/2018
364This time when he springs in, he doesn’t announce it. He doesn’t release his reiatsu until he’s pushing all the pent, dammed force of it into a massive Getsuga Tenshou. He lets the attack explode through the makeshift battlefield where you’re fighting, not aiming the attack at you, but into the space in front of you. It draws a long, deep, jagged line across the field before crashing into and disintegrating the buildings on the far side. It’s the only warning he plans to give. If anyone wants to come at you, he’s going to cut them down. 
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366But you... He has no idea what you’re doing. This isn’t what they agreed on. He said he would kill anyone that came for you. But you’re here, attacking first and showing yourself to be everything they believe you to be. Dangerous and hostile. A threat to be put down. 
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368“What the hell are you doing!?” He doesn’t leave space. He flash steps close so he can yell at you where you can appreciate how livid he is. “What was all that talk about not making someone’s decisions for them!? You think I’ll let you do this?”
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374ShadowThorne09/12/2018
375The Getsuga Tenshou brings him up short, catching him off guard enough to earn a flinch back, away from it, before he drops his victim and turns on you, all teeth and fury. Truth be told, he's never been more terrified, but the absolute most it shows is in the clench of his jaw. This is everything he'd always been so paranoid of; being face to face with Soul Society and its army trained to kill things like him. 
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377"It's not your decision!" It's snapped out with as much sarcasm as he can manage, but maybe comes out more raw anger. "You're ruining everything I'm trying to do!" He points out behind him, at the mess he started and you added to. His chest is heaving, as much his fury and aggression as exertion, "Go away, I don't need your help." But maybe you're not ruining it. Your words about not letting him do this; maybe he can use that. "Go back." It's a demand. Right now, this can be passed off as you trying to stop him, like you're supposed to do. This could still work in your favor. "Go back, or make me stop." There's already a cero charging in his hand when he brings it up and aims it in your general direction, as satisfied with the idea of missing entirely and destroying more of Seireitei as he is with the idea of actually hitting you and forcing you into action.
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383ichxgo09/12/2018
384He makes a face before he can steel himself. The callous way you toss the shinigami rubs him all wrong. All of this is wrong. But he snaps when you tell him to leave, the desperate confusion clearing in a wave of anger. He won’t. He lashes out with his free hand, aiming a punch at your face. You’ve lost it. He doesn’t know what the hell else could’ve brought this on. 
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386“Anything that involves me is my decision!” He can feed words back to you too. “I’m here to ruin it! This isn’t what I agreed to! This isn’t what you said! You think I can just sit here and watch you kill everyone!?” 
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388But that cero. Those words. He’s not sure his heart doesn’t stop. 
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390He goes still. This isn’t like sparing. Or their play fights or even their serious ones. This is you turning on him. “You won’t.” He’s not sure though. But he won’t fight you. As much as he wants to kick your ass, it would only infuriate you more. “Don’t.” It’s more pleading this time. “We can just leave. Let’s just leave, Shiro.” 
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392But so focused on you, he isn’t paying attention to anyone else. There’s a blade that slides through his stomach, it pieces him from behind and an arm circles his throat to keep him in place. An arm he recognizes. He tilts his head back to catch a glimpse of Kenpachi. But even if he could pull away, it wouldn’t take more than a flick of a wrist for the Captain to sever half his body.
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397ShadowThorne09/12/2018
398"This doesn't involve you! It was supposed to uninvolve you." But of course you're here, ruining that for the both of them, and making all of this a waste of his time, his energy, and spelling both of their failure. But still, you're saying all the things that need to be said for their audience. It's ground out low when he answers, "No, I don't."
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400He ignores that pleading, ignores the way you go still, the tenseness he can see. Ignores it all, ready to force your hand, only to falter, stopping in his tracks, all because you said that goddamned name. His. His name. How dare you use that against him? A sneer twists his features even as a slight tremble sets through his limbs, quickly quelled. The cero goes wide, destroying what lays behind you, a split second before everything goes wrong.
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402It takes him a moment to realize what he's seeing, and when he does, he's right back to seething. "How could you do this!?" It's screamed, enraged, aimed at you, because this is your fault. You weren't supposed to be here, it was supposed to be him. "It was only supposed to be me!" He can't possibly deal with the shinigami behind you, there's just no way for him to maneuver that would let him get there and deal a decisive blow before the huge shinigami finished dissecting you.  You'll have to deal with that on your own and he'll have to trust you to handle it. You've suffered worse injuries and survived. You can be healed. It's a whisper in the back of his mind as he turns away from you, determined to handle everything else.
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407ichxgo09/13/2018
408It takes a delayed second for the pain to register. It brings a strangled sound from his mouth, but even then it’s overshadowed by the betrayal that spreads through his chest. He stares when you turn, nonplussed. You’re walking away. Worse, you’re probably going to pick up where you left off. The sword slicing through tissue, being restrained, is all a secondary concern. “Shiro! Shi...!” 
409
410You’re wrong. It’s not supposed to be just you. They’re supposed to be a team. Partners. 
411
412His sword is still gripped at his side and he makes a wild swing behind him, attempting to dislodge his captor. He’s stronger than this, but Kenpachi isn’t weak and Ichigo isn’t in a good position. He curses when his sword is knocked aside, but that means the arm leaves his throat, so he tears himself free, launching forward off the blade. Kenpachi can’t be trying that hard to hurt him. There’s already someone else behind him, he spins, makes it halfway around before he hears Rukia curse at him and freezes. His teeth clench and there’s an immediate wash of guilt that turns his stomach just from the expression on her face. 
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414Somewhere in the back of his mind, he’d known this was a possibility. He’d tried not to think about it, but he isn’t prepared. She puts a hand on his sword to lower it and he lets her, he sure as hell wouldn’t turn it on her. “I can’t let them kill him.” It’s the only explanation he has, the only thing he can get out. He won’t ask for help, but it’s so goddamn important that she understands. It doesn’t last, they’re closing in. He spins, seeing so many faces he wonders who’s fighting you. But he doesn’t see Shunsui or Byakuya or Kurotsuchi and that scares the hell out of him. 
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416He ends up fighting, he can’t help it. But he does such a bad job of it, he’s like a helpless fifteen year old kid all over again and he goes down hard, feeling kido slam through his back before everything fades.
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421ShadowThorne09/13/2018
422He's meant for this, built to do exactly what he's doing, and he could continue for a long time. There's something oddly comforting in letting himself go, in giving in to this nature. Yet, again and again, he finds the comfortable ease of his movements being interrupted. For all that he's trying to ignore, trying to cast you aside, if not physically than mentally, and show as best he can that you aren't a part of this, he can't quite tune you out. He keeps catching sight of you, just glimpses between the blurred movements and press of enemy soldiers. He keeps finding himself listening to your fights, the ring of your blade, the sound of your voice. He doesn't have a heart to sink, to falter, but there's something there, something heavy and sickening in his gut.
423And every time his focus shifts to you too much, his momentum stutters. He goes from attacking to defending, to taking wounds. The grip of one hand is slick and weak against his sword, his palm cut through to bone where he'd been forced to block a sword barehanded because he couldn't get his own blade up in time. There are other injuries, some shallow, some damaging enough to be concerning. They weigh him down, but still he fights. 
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425He fights until he realizes he can't hear you any more. Then, his movements become too desperate to be called fighting, as he seeks to maneuver enough to catch sight of you again. But he can't, all he can find is a group of shinigami circled around where he thought you had been and they're hovering, not struggling, not fighting. Thinking the worst and not quite level headed enough to just search for your reiatsu, he screams his anger and releases the sticky grip on his sword to bring his hand, fingers hooked, in front of his face. The shinigami around him - strong, they must be captains - seem to know what the motion means, because a blade almost as desperate as he is  drives in level with his face and he's forced to throw that arm up to catch it. His efforts to call his mask interrupted, he jerks back, clamping teeth around the fire of sliced flesh, and everything goes downhill from there.
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430ichxgo09/13/2018
431The next thing he’s aware of is pain. Pain in his side where he’s laying on something hard. Pain in his head and limbs. It takes a long few moments before he can force his eyes open, hand automatically groping for his sword, but he doesn’t find it. He needs it, but he can’t remember why until he makes it to his hands and knees and pieces of the fight come back to him. 
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433Then he’s struggling to his feet, head whipping around and spinning to take in the white walls around him, finding a door in the circular room to stagger toward. It’s locked. He pulls on it, kicks it, beats on the surface and slams all his weight against it. “Shiro!” He can’t feel you. Can’t feel anything. What if you’re— What if they— 
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435They couldn’t. They aren’t strong enough. 
436
437But he can’t stop hitting the door. Not until he’s purple and black on his side and fists, and doesn’t have the strength to stand. He’s so weak, he’s not sure how he was ever standing, but he can’t stop because every time he does all he can think is that they’ve probably killed you by now. He slept while they killed you and that brings an anguished, choked sob that he can’t stop. 
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439He slides to the floor, tries to convince himself you ran. That anything could’ve happened. But he doesn’t believe it. In the end, he drops a temple against the wall, panting because it hurts to breathe and it has nothing to do with his body and everything to do with not being able to imagine waking up every day in a world you aren’t part of. 
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441He doesn’t know how much time has passed, when someone opens the door, but when his foggy thoughts put together that that’s what the sounds means, he lunges, intent on doing the most damage possible. They’re prepared, but he still catches the first guard unaware, going for his face
442barehanded, latching onto it while he pushes a foot out and snaps it back into the side of a knee and the man screams. The guard in white is next, he’s easy to bring down and Ichigo doesn’t care who it is.
443
444It’s Soifon that stops his heedless frenzy, attacks when he’s still occupied. Slices the tendons in the back of his leg and he hits the hard ground with a gasp of pain that he isn’t sure he’s really feeling past everything going on in his head. Food is slammed down and she drags her lieutenant out by his scruff. Ichigo rolls over and drags himself toward the door. All his screamed questions are ignored. She doesn’t have an ounce of pity for him, so he staggers to one foot and goes back to trying to break free.
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449ShadowThorne09/14/2018
450The things that work against shinigami don't always have the same level of efficacy against hollows, or maybe it's simply a matter of who's making the efforts, but whatever the case, he was very much aware of when he lost his fight. He was aware of being dragged away, snarling and struggling and threatening as too many hands caught him, as panic began to set in when his arms were forced behind is back and something cold bound him tight, something made to withstand his strength. He was aware of being dragged out of the street, to somewhere less public, to somewhere quiet and empty and being thrown into a room, a cage, to be left there. 
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452It didn't take long for him to wear himself out, even after he was left alone, as he struggled against his bindings with what was left of his strength. And now he sat on his knees in the very center of the space, hunched forward to drop his forehead against the floor, panting against the cool surface. They can't leave him here; it plays on repeat through his head, insistent and almost desperate; they can't leave him here. Eventually, a shinigami, or more likely, many, will have to come for him. They'll have to do something with him, whether that's kill him or whatever passes as shinigami justice. But this can't be it. 
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454And every so often, he thinks about his last sight of you, the last thing he heard, the last thing you said to him, and he finds himself snarling and struggling all over again, desperate to get free but not entirely because of his panic at being restrained. Blood still drips down his arm, smearing his shihakusho and the wall where he'd walked round and round and round before pacing became too much of a strain. The ache of wounds is sharp but pushed to the back of his mind as he inevitably ends up sinking to the floor again.
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458ichxgo09/14/2018
459He loses track of how long he’s left alone. He doesn’t bother with the food. There doesn’t seem to be much point eating and he couldn’t stomach it anyway. He’s sure you’re dead. That’s what they do with hollows. Most of them anyway. Either that or turn them into experiments. 
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461It has to have been at least a day before his door opens again, and he considers attacking, but with all his strength gone and the injuries from throwing himself at the door, he’s doing well to sit up. It’s the first time he’s stopped to consider someone bothered healing his stab wound. So they probably won’t kill him, not that he can see how it’s a mercy. 
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463He sees the pink floral pattern of Shunsui’s robe, but doesn’t bother looking up. The captain sits after a long sigh that makes him sound old, but Ichigo knows for a fact that he’s spry enough to outmaneuver probably all of the other Captains. And it’s not even that he doesn’t understand why they did what they did, if you had bothered to ask him, he could’ve told you as much. But Ichigo doesn’t have anything to say, so he turns his head away. It takes a long second after Shunsui asks if he wants to see you to understand the question and then to respond. Hollows fade when they’re killed. Everyone knows that. But you aren’t like other hollows. Did you not turn to dust? 
464
465He half wonders if it’s a trick, but he turns slowly and nods anyway. Even if it is, he wants to see.
466They fit him with a collar and bind his arms, and he’s so damn well-secured, it’s hard to walk, but he manages it, dreading the end to their march but at the same time, his legs move forward on their own as if he doesn’t even have a conscious choice. When they reach a tower like his, he frowns, because he can’t imagine the best they could do was toss you into one of these reiatsu cancelling prisons. Swords are drawn, pointed and he’s further secured, though he can’t see why. What the hell is he supposed to do, attack them again? Though, he might. The door is opened, just enough for him to see a white clad figure. 
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468He snarls, because they couldn’t even be bothered to lay you out properly, but before he gets too far, he realizes his mistake. You’re alive. He jerks hard against his bindings and nearly throws himself into their swords with the attempt to get to you. “Shiro!” He can’t see you well. But there’s so much blood. They didn’t heal you. Are they still going to kill you? “Let go! He can’t stay in there! You can’t keep him shut up in that! He’ll—“ But he snaps his mouth shut, because that’s not his secret to tell.
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473ShadowThorne09/14/2018
474He doesn't know if it's the bindings that they still haven't taken off or if it's the room, which feels heavy to his senses, but his wounds aren't healing as quickly as he thinks they should be. Maybe he's just been locked up for a far shorter amount to of time than he feels he has been. That's never been something he was good at anyway.
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476At some point, a shinigami enters, and his eyes flash upward and anchor on familiar features. He's seen this one before, a captain, he's certain even though it's hard to guage reiatsu for some reason. It clicks after a moment of hard study that this is one he's seen before this most recent fight, when he had to look through your eyes, the captain that had realized he wasn't you, just using your body. 
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478He tenses, but doesn't otherwise move, baring teeth in an animal snarl. No words are exchanged, and he has to wonder if this man thinks himself too far above a hollow for that. Then the captain leaves and he's left to his own devices again, left to try to puzzle out the point of the interaction.
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480After another undeterminable amount of time, the door opens again and he tenses again, eyes cornering to watch, expecting the captain again. But instead, he hears his name in your voice and his head snaps up a moment before he lurches to his feet. But what if it's a trick? Why would they bring you to him? He hesitates, antsy, and, because there's no corner to put his back to, he crosses to the center of the room again to wait and see what this is about, gritting out a constricted sound somewhere between a growl and a whine.
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484ichxgo09/14/2018
485He can’t stop straining against the hold they have on him, pathetic though the attempt is. He doesn’t understand why they care if he knows you’re alive, but he’s weak with relief, weak with the knowledge that you might not stay that way. “Why are you...?”  He can’t tear his eyes off you. He thought you were dead. And maybe that’s what they wanted, because what wouldn’t he agree to if it got you out of there? 
486
487“Let him out of there.” But he doesn’t have anything to bargain with. It sounds strong but it’s a plea really. He watches Shunsui consider the situation before motioning for the door to be closed again, and Ichigo can’t help but fight all the harder. “No...!” 
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489A heavy hand falls on his shoulder and he looks up into the captain’s face as he explains that they things to discuss and regardless of whatever the outcome is, letting a hollow as dangerous as you walk around in the open without precautionary measures is a bad idea.  It steals some of his fight, because of course they won’t just let you free. But he won’t let you stay there either. “Why didn’t you kill him?” 
490
491The answer comes easily. Laws aren’t changed overnight. Even if they had wanted to agree to your terms, you broke the original agreement, which should’ve never existed in the first place. Only the fact that Ukitake had jurisdiction over Karakura had let it stand in the first place. And he’s dead now.
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493Ichigo takes that to mean some sort of exception might be made. But that’s far less likely if he doesn’t cooperate.
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498ShadowThorne09/14/2018
499It's only when the door is closed that he realizes he's still trapped in this cage. There's a split second where he's frozen, before he all but launches at the door. His arms are still bound, but he throws his weight into the door anyway, wordlessly screaming his enraged frustration. 
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501When he's out of breath and his scream dies, he pants as he tugs at his bindings again, already knowing it to be useless but needing to try anyway. He strains against them so hard that it rubs skin raw. The least they could do is unbind him, give him hands, but that would mean that some shinigami would be within reach once he was freed and maybe they aren't willing to risk that. He can't even say they're wrong. 
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503Eventually he goes back to restlessly pacing the perimeter of the room. He's not particularly loud as he demands to no one, "Lemme out." Repeating it while he thinks to himself that he's supposed to be mad at you, he's supposed to furious. You were supposed to leave, to make yourself uninvolved. But he's not mad, not at you, at least. Instead, all he can think about is the fact that you're still you, still whole, at least enough so to be up, to be speaking. And since you're alive and here in Soul Society, surely you wont let them leave him here, you wont let them forget about him and let him rot in this cell. You'll get him out.
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511ichxgo09/15/2018
512He jerks at the sound of your impact with the door, pained. “Stop hurting yourself!”  Never mind that he had done the exact same thing. He can hear Shunsui’s suppressed cough, but he ignores it, still yelling so you’re sure to hear him. “What Good is it trying to get out of you won’t be able to walk by the time you manage it? You really want to be carried?” He can only hope you’re still rational enough to reason that out. 
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514He closes his eye, gathers himself. He can’t even take the blame for what happened without messing up whatever tentative balance is keeping you alive. “Why are you helping us?” Because it’s obvious he is, that he’s somehow managing to preserve their lives. 
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516Instead of answering, Shunsui starts back down the expanse of narrow walkway leading to your tower. There’s a glances back toward you, because he doesn’t want to leave you, but he follows. He has to. Someone has to get them out of this. You made such a big fucking mess of everything. Part of him is so angry. All of this could’ve been avoided if you’d just talked to him. But you didn’t. You did exactly what you gave him such a hard time for considering. You deserve to get your ass kicked. 
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518But he pushes that aside. Looking around as he’s led into the Twelfth. Just being here causes unease to slide down his spine, he’s seen what they did to Kon. The Arrancar. Will they try something like that with you? Would that be worse than death? He casts an alarmed glance toward Shunsui when he’s strapped into a flat sheet of metal and flipped horizontal. There’s no way he’ll let them do anything too awful. At least, that’s all Ichigo can hope, because there’s no guarantee of that.
519It takes hours. They strip his shihakusho, leaving him to shiver while he’s fit with various devices, some excruciating to force screams from his throat and have him straining against the table and some that just make him feel tired and out of breath. He gets explanations for each, and he’s not sure Mayuri isn’t just talking to himself half the time. Truthfully, it’s worse knowing what these things are doing. Some are mechanical, some writhe like parasites with teeth and eyes. That’s what they end up fixing to him. It attaches to the collar and crisscrosses his torso. It latches mouths onto several spots, and he vaguely remembers Byakuya explaining reiatsu points when he’d stabbed him through each and taken Rukia’s shinigami powers back. Mayuri seems to think it’s some sort of accomplishment, but it leaves Ichigo too weak to walk, and he’s dragged, staggering back to his tower.
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523ShadowThorne09/15/2018
524He finds himself frozen in place, listening, hanging on your every word, but it's hardly the words themselves that he's listening to and more just your voice, the inflections, the familiarity. You can't possibly know the comfort such a simple thing brings. When mixed with the tension of everything else, it's almost sickening. And when he can no longer hear you talking to him, he finds his hands fisted behind his back so tight his fingers hurt and his nails cut into his palms. But he half nods, to himself since you clearly can't see him, and goes back to pacing circles. You're right, of course you're right. He needs to save his strength, his energy. He'll need it. But even that becomes a mantra set to repeat in the same uneasy, near desperate way as his pacing.
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526His next visitor is the same captain. He's already on his feet this time and he straightens, tense, and can't keep from baring his teeth so he doesn't try. He manages words this time, which is better than last time, "Let me-" He's stops mid demand, a grimace working across his features before he starts over. "Release Ichigo. He had nothing to do with anything." He doesn't get much of an answer; you're cooperating while they try to work things out. When he demands to know what the hell that means, taking a hard step forward, he's met with collected indifference and no more answers. It sets a trembling rage through him but he'll gladly take that over being on the edge of panic. "Take this thing off me!" He tugs at his bindings, struggling against what he already knows he can't get out of. 
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528The meeting doesn't last much longer. The captain doesn't free him, nor offer him any more information and when his temper starts visibly rising, the shinigami leaves again, leaving him to deal with his own impotent anger.
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533ichxgo09/15/2018
534The overwhelming weakness eventually fades. Mayuri said it would take time for the parasites to accustom themselves to his Reiryoku. After that, he might feel almost normal, but he doesn’t. He can’t see the mouths unless he pulls the leathery straps away from his chest, but it hurts like it’s ripping off flesh and makes his vision tunnel, so he doesn’t try it more than a handful of times. It takes another day, but they move him out of the tower once most of his reiatsu is suppressed. There’s a cell with an entire wall made of bars. People visit, and it’s so eerie at how nonchalant the conversations are. No one seems terribly worried over his fate. And he’d think that was a good sign, except it doesn’t last when you’re brought up. After a while, it bothers him so much he can’t hide it anymore and stops talking to any visitors. 
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536He retreats to the bed unrolled in the far corner and stays there until he’s taken to Shunsui again. Only, this time Shinji is there and Soifon, even Urahara, which surprises him. Though, the first question has him spitting and furious, ready to tell them to go fuck themselves, especially Urahara, because he should know better. He isn’t going to leave you here to be executed and go home. No one seems particularly surprised at how he answers. Eventually, with Urahara negotiating and Ichigo fuming with frustration, they come to terms. 
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538He isn’t allowed to leave for the foreseeable future. Their lives are balanced on how useful they prove themselves to be. Especially, yours. They won’t be allowed to wander. They will have guards of third-seat status or higher. Reiatsu limiters and tracking markings will be worn at all times, and regular checkups with both Fourth division and Twelfth. Most importantly, the terms can be revoked at any time.
539He has a feeling there will be more, but he sits back on his heels in an attempt to process. 
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541You won’t agree, he’s almost positive, but you didn’t ask him before coming, so why should he care about agreeing to something that will preserve your life. He starts to nod only to be waved off by Shunsui and told to think about it. The official decision will be in front of the entire assembly of Captains in the morning. He wants to see you again, even if he’s furious with you, but that’s also denied and he’s sent back to his cell. He wonders if they plan to keep you in the tower or if one of the other cells will be yours, but he isn’t holding his breath. It would be negligent if they were left together. Though, he’s not sure if they realize just how much of a bad decision it would be.
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546ShadowThorne09/17/2018
547He tries to keep his time occupied internally, with whatever thoughts he can conjure up that don't involve eating or trying to escape, trying to skirt the edge of that downward slope he feels himself slide towards every time he looks around himself, or tries to quest outwards with his senses, only to be met walls. All this waiting is getting to him. Being confined to an enclosed space isn't helping. He tries to hang on to what you said, specifically the part about getting out and being able to move under his own power when he does. When. But when isn't guaranteed, it's an if and that makes it more difficult than it already is. He's not designed for this. There were times where your inner world felt claustrophobic and too small, and that was an entire world; dull and empty, but roomy all the same.
548
549And there's another issue creeping up. It was a couple days since he'd went hunting when Soul Society decided to start hunting them down, and his fight with the shinigami hadn't been with a conservation of energy in mind. He's going to need to eat sooner rather than later and he can feel that start to claw into his thoughts and needs.
550And instead of being able to slip out whenever he needs to, he's forced to stare at the same wall, compounding his incarceration with his hunger, on top of a lack of any sort of distraction.
551
552They let you out, or at least granted you more freedom than they have him. Maybe that means they believed him when he said you had no hand in any of it. But he was also told you were cooperating, whatever that means. It doesn't particularly surprise him, though. The idea to offer his own cooperation next time he's looked in on flits through his mind, but it's shot down nearly as fast. He's a hollow, not a shinigami. A threat, not an ally. He spread the truth of that over as much of Seireitei as he could.
553
554In any case, and as bad as his judgement of time is, he's fairly certain it's a long time until the door opens again. Long enough that cooperation doesn't cross his mind and he has to force the notion of food from the forefront of his thoughts.
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559ichxgo09/18/2018
560It’s disconcerting to be marched into the meeting room with all the Captains lined up at attention. He feels like he might get a death sentence. And, maybe, that’s possible. He does his best not to fidget with his bindings or shift his stance too much, but it’s harder the longer the silence drags on. Until he realizes they’re waiting for you and if anything it makes his anxiety double. 
561
562He’s surprised when a messenger comes in and Shunsui’s eyes find his before Ichigo is motioned forward. No one wants to go into your tower to fish you out is what the issue turns out to be. Though, when he arrives and sees the trepidation of the Twelfth division members outside your door, one holding a reiatsu limiter similar to his, he can’t say he blames them. 
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564He scowls at the device before taking it from the shinigami holding it, and he looks so relieved to be free of his task. Ichigo steps up to the door, waiting for it to be unlocked before pushing it open a crack. “Shiro?” He wants to see you, but he has no idea what you’re like at this point. And even on good days, sudden movements aren’t terribly wise around you. “Hey, it’s me.” He pushes it a little wider before stepping inside.
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570ShadowThorne09/18/2018
571When he hears the latches of the door release, he backs himself toward the far end, still in control enough to know it wouldn't take a lot for that control to slip. A suicide stand in the form of rushing the next person to come through that door doesn't necessarily sound like the worst thing that could happen, especially when it seems they'll leave him to rot in this damn cage. But he has to know you're going to make it out alive first. He needs that much at least, then he can make a mess on his way out. His hands are still secured behind his back, but that would only slow him, not stop him.
572
573He's growling before the door even opens, tense, only for confusion to make the aggressive sound drop. It sounds like you, and it's just like you to be smart enough to announce yourself, you've even done so in that exact way before, whenever you're not sure of the state of his mindset. But he doesnt actually believe it until you step in. His attention drifts to the partly open door behind you for a long moment, before falling to you again, taking you in, and eventually and to lighting on the collar on your hand.
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575He flashes teeth, torn between relief and a need to go to you, and unease born of the thing in your hands. He doesn't know what to do and it shows in his hesitation and the way he turns his head away to watch you sidelong without looking at you directly.
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581ichxgo09/18/2018
582There’s so much relief at seeing that you’re still in one piece, it takes a long second to get that the skittishness is about the reiatsu suppressor. He’s tempted to tell you it’s your own fault. You’re hungry though, obviously, so he doesn’t. He has no idea if they plan to feed you or not. You won’t be rational if they don’t and he doesn’t want you angry on top of it. Maybe he should try to find you something to eat. Technically, everything here is made of reishi, though he’s not sure if it has enough to sustain you. 
583
584He chews his lip and belatedly drops the collar beside the door, glancing back at the opening, lowering his voice. “You could run if you’re fast about it. They didn’t send enough people to stop you.” It’s strange really. They think you’re enough threat to try killing you, but they still don’t seem to have any real idea of what you’re capable.
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586He holds his hands out to show that they’re empty, stepping away from the device, but not necessarily closer. “You should let me see your arms. They look bad. I can get those bindings off. Maybe they won’t bother putting them back on.”
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592ShadowThorne09/18/2018
593His attention drops to the collar as it thumps to the ground, before shooting up to your features. It's a tempting offer and he shifts where he stands, looking passed you to the door again. But you're still here, and you're talking to him, and if he made for the door, what would happen to you? He's not even sure you'd actually let him get passed you, and while he's sure he could get through whatever poor soul is unfortunate enough to be on the other side of that door, he's not stupid enough to think he could actually get passed you if you decided to try to stop him seriously. 
594
595He matches that step that's not quite towards him with one that's not quite a sidestep in the opposite direction. The aggressive sneer is slow to dissipate, but it does, teeth hidden once more. It's automatic to twist at his bindings, though he doesn't put much pressure against them; no real effort, just the motion. Nodding slightly, he takes a few steps towards the middle of the space. "I need out." He admits lowly, but you already know that. You've caught glimpses before, of how poorly he handles restraint and confinement. "Out. And a hollow." Or maybe a shinigami nobody likes. He's not feeling picky. And then it finally occurs to him to ask, "Why are you here?" His attention flickers towards the collar again. In almost rapid fire, the expression of skittishness gives way to confusion again, then settles back on anger and he stalks a few more paces towards you. "Why are you here?! Why did you come back? I sent you away!" This - the anger, the indignation and outrage - is easier to focus on, less harsh to his senses, than his situation.
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600ichxgo09/19/2018
601He stops as soon as you move away, watching your expressions shift. Though, he almost sighs a relieved sound when you nod and step closer. He lets you come to him, crouching and ready to start figuring out your bindings, except your mood changes again and he frowns then scowls up, feeling ice drip down his spine. 
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603“You sent me away?” The words are clipped, he’s biting back so much instant anger, he’s surprised there isn’t blood in his mouth. “And where was I supposed to go, Shiro!? Was I supposed to stay in Hueco Mundo while they went after my family? While they killed you? You tried to trap me there!” Somewhere in the middle he realizes he’s yelling and he’s standing again. No matter how stupid it is to piss you off right now. 
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605He stabs a finger at his own collar. “You want to know why I’m here? Because no one else wanted to risk their neck to come in here and drag you out. Because you’re going to get us killed! Because you went behind my back and got us trapped here in the first place!” His teeth snap shut and he works hard to stop the waves of anger and betrayal that keep crashing over him. And he mostly succeeds in lowering his voice again. “If you want out, you can either let me untie you and you can run for it...” And he really hopes you do. It’d be so much easier if they couldn’t hold your life over him. “Or you can put that on like I did. They want to talk to us.”
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611ShadowThorne09/19/2018
612He bares teeth again when you stand to yell. There seems to be so much tension, in him at least, that he's not certain he wouldn't lunge at you if he had his hands free. "Your family can take care of themselves. I can take care of myself." But that's not even what bothers him, he's well aware of your need to protect everyone, the way you worry over everyone's safety but your own. What really bothers him is that you're here, that the one time he takes a page from your self sacrificing book, you ruin it and now you're here and so is he. "This was for you-!" It's hissed out low, between clenched teeth. He's nearly trembling, he's so tense, so on edge.
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614His attention follows the motion of your point, then finds the collar, before returning to you with a sharp glare. "I was willing to forfeit my freedom,  so you could keep yours. Keep your family, and your friends, and your life." He snaps his teeth shut on the last word so hard it's audible, half directed at you, half because even just saying it, just mentioning his lost freedom has him physically recoiling.
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616He's not designed for walls like this.
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618His eyes shoot back towards the door and there's real consideration there. But you're no longer yelling and the calmer demeanor, whether you're forcing it or not, soothes, at least somewhat. Slowly, in uneasy motions, he turns to face away from you but without putting distance between them, head turned to keep an eye on the door and you in his peripheral. He wants these restrains off. "What do they wanna talk about?" They're obviously not crowding into this room, which means he's leaving it. Maybe that will be out enough for him to think straight.
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624ichxgo09/19/2018
625“Families are supposed to take care of each other! And partners are too.” Not that you would know that. “You didn’t ask me if I wanted it! So don’t give me that bullshit. Did you think I would be fine with that? Did you care if I wanted it or not? Go ahead and lie to yourself. Tell yourself I would be better off. You know I wouldn’t be.” Because he wouldn’t move on. He wouldn’t let you go. It would torture him for years or life even. And that’s a level of cruelty he’s not sure he can forgive. 
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627He nearly shoves you, but he checks the impulse. Barely. But his voice is chilled. “Were you? Because you made an awful lot of assumptions about what everyone else would do. You assumed Seireitei would leave me alone. You assumed I would stay in the human world while you died or became an experiment. And you’re assuming my family and friends won’t come try to get me out.”
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629He’s so pissed at you, he can’t even move for a second after you turn. But teeth grinding, he forces his eyes down to your arms and the mess you made of those, too. He starts tugging at the ties, but they aren’t some sort of cloth or rope like he originally thought and after a moment, he drops to a knee to start tugging at them with his teeth. It helps not to look at you, but not much. 
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631“About what to do with us. The new Central 46 wants us both executed. So try not to piss off the guy keeping us alive.” He goes back to clipping your bindings with his teeth and tearing away strips when he can. But he finally gets it thin enough to reach up and snap the last strand, flinging the bindings and standing, arms crossing. “So? Are you putting it on or running?”
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637ShadowThorne09/19/2018
638"There wasn't a way out!" It almost hurts to admit, but he wouldn't have just given up, he wouldn't have just sat down in the sand and waited. He had to do something. "There wasn't- Not where we both got out, not where you got to continue your life and be happy. I told you I wasn't gonna run forever." The more he tries to explain himself, the more his heated rage gutters out. "I knew what you'd say." So he didn't ask. He knew you'd try to stop him, you'd refuse him. But he hadn't seen another way. "I thought I could take the fall. I thought I could be the monster and you could be the hero you always are, and I could give you your life back. I thought I could do that for you." And maybe he could have, if you hadn't showed up.
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640You're not wrong. He assumed a lot, but it was all calculated, none of it was a whim, not like usual.
641A cold grin slips across his features, dropping a moment later. "Maybe not." Maybe he wasn't quite willing to throw away his freedom, because he'd assumed that, if he couldn't get away, he'd be able to force them to kill him. Capture wasn't part of his ideas. He shakes his head slightly, answering his own thoughts, glad that he has a good excuse not to look you in the eye. 
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643The tugging and jerking on his bindings stings, but he'd done enough of it under his own power to not show the discomfort outwardly. "I don't know about any of that, but I figured... I figured, if they held to their word, after they stopped comin' for you and you couldn't find me, your friends and family would keep you in line and eventually you'd get over it." Get over him. Humans are good at moving on under the right circumstances. "You coulda continued school to be a doctor. You woulda found someone else, someone who could do human things for you, feel human emotions, someone who could love you. You woulda been fine."
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645It burns when the bindings are finally pulled away and his arms are freed. His motions are measured and stiff when he pulls them in front of himself, rubbing at the raw skin and looking over the mangled flesh he'd used to stop a sword. 
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647He turns to face you again, quiet while he studies you. Almost everything in him screams to go for the door, but there's a small part that snarls back. "And leave you here? When I'd been trying to keep you from this?" He turns for the collar, hesitating, steps faltering, but after a moment, he crosses the space and pulls it from the ground. Looking over a shoulder at you with a slightly wild look that does poorly at masking the tinge of animal panic, he pulls it open and closes it about his neck.
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653ichxgo09/19/2018
654He doesn’t agree with what you did, but he can’t argue your sincerity. And even if he gets why you did it, he just can’t not be angry about it. “It still wasn’t your choice.” He’s not yelling though now. “You can’t really think it’s easier being the person left. You don’t know what it’s like to lose someone you love. You don’t...” 
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656He gives up trying to explain what you quite nearly sentenced him to. Either you can’t understand or you didn’t think it was important enough to keep you from doing it. He’s not sure which idea hurts most. 
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658He closes his eyes briefly and decides you definitely just don’t understand. You have no idea what you mean to him. “You thought I’d stop looking.” It’s not even a question. He shakes his head. “You thought...” You don’t know him at all. Or you’re kidding yourself. 
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660He doesn’t want to talk about this anymore. Can’t look at you. 
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662The snap of that collar makes him wince. But it’s your life on the line. Putting it on is literally going to save your life. “We’ll get out of here. I don’t know when, but we will.” It’s all that he can say. All he can promise. But one way or another. He shakes his head. Starts for the door. “Let’s get out of here. They’re waiting.”
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669ShadowThorne09/22/2018
670He shrugs a shoulder, because that's all he can do. He's said all he can to justify and explain why he did what he did and he's not even surprised that it's not enough for you. "No. I don't." He can't know what it's like to lose someone he loves, he can't even know what it's like to love someone, not really. He can, more or less, understand the definition, but he can never understand it as more than a theory, he can never understand it in practice. "But I know enough to realize I hated the idea of you bein' the one lost. I don't know what it's like to be the person left, and I don't wanna. You can think I'm selfish for that all you want, but here you are, doin' the same damn thing."
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672Nodding his agreement, he can't look you. He knows there's loyalty towards him in you, he knows that he means something to you that he can't understand. "I thought, eventually, you'd forgive me and continue with your life." But he knew it'd be a long time, and he knew you'd never forget him. 
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674He's already regretting putting the collar one the moment it clicks shut and he digs his fingers under it, every muscle in him rigid as he tries to adjust, mentally, to what's happening. He needs that reassurance and he's sure you know that, so he nods. He only drops his hands from the cold metal when they start for the door and his words come out a choked growl, "Make sure they know not to get too pushy." Because he's not going to waste his breath speaking with a bunch of soldiers trained to kill him, and they're not going to get a warning if he feels threatened. And he's not going to have the control to back off before it goes too far if something does happen. Reiatsu limiter or not, he's still a hundred and forty plus pounds of hollow with teeth.
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680ichxgo09/22/2018
681That statement causes a stab of guilt to flit through his stomach, because you’re right. He’s done the same thing multiple times. And yes, even now. That argument takes all the steam out of his anger and he turns to follow you with his eyes. If he were looking at this objectively, he might be able to admit this is huge for you. Putting someone else’s welfare above your own. If only you hadn’t gone behind his back to do it. 
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683But he can’t hold onto the sense of indignation he’s been clinging to since he found out you left. 
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685“I wouldn’t have.” Even if he had, it would always be something running in the background of his mind.
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687He glances at you again. “I can’t promise that. I don’t control them. Or you. So you’d better figure something out.” Which doesn’t mean he won’t try, but he’s seriously doubting any sway his words might have. “I’m a traitor. Apparently.” He sighs. “But we can get you something to eat first. It probably won’t be anything you like though.” He draws himself up to his full height, scowling hard as soon as they’re through the door, finding the shinigami that held the collar and pinning him with a dark look. He seems to be in charge of the rest of them, nervous as he looks.  “Hey, you.” Ichigo stabs a finger at his chest. “Where’s his food? He’s supposed to have something to eat. How do you expect a hollow to go stand in from of all the Captains when he hasn’t had anything to eat in days? Don’t you know anything about hollows?” And it doesn’t bother him in the slightest to make your problem into something this shinigami has to deal with. Which is likely why the man looks a strange combination of pale at the thought of getting blamed and harassed.  “Well?” he snaps. “He was supposed to be there over an hour ago. How long are you going to keep them waiting?”
688Which is what seals it. The shinigami turns and starts yelling orders and Ichigo crosses his arms, reasonably satisfied at how well his bluster worked. He doesn’t know what they’ll bring, but it’s better than nothing whatever it is.
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695ShadowThorne09/23/2018
696He curls his lip, but the heat behind the unhappy expression is mostly directionless. "Doesn't matter anymore." Because maybe you'll have to anyway, maybe they'll both have to , and neither of them will have any control over it. He's lost his ability to make the gesture he was trying to make. It no longer matters if you'd forgive him, if you'd move on, or if you'd hate him for the rest of your days.
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698He wants to snap, to be indignant and angry at your apparent refusal, as if you can't see how keeping him in check might be to their benefit, and surely you know how much you help with that. It wasn't even an unreasonable thing to ask of you, at least he doesn't think so. They're shinigami and he's a hollow. If he warns them verbally, it'll sound like a challenge, not a friendly piece of advice. And he doesn't owe them either. 
699
700But then you go and promise him a meal. How is he supposed to get pissy with you now? Just the mention of it has him clenching his teeth around the dull ache of hunger. And your display would be amusing if he wasn't too busy eyeing the array of shinigami like they made his mouth water. He takes their measure and it takes him no time at all to decide which one he'd go for and which one likely poses the biggest threat. Every movement has him bristling, tense and ready. His eyes corner to you and anchor pointedly somewhere at chest level as he lets a hard breath hiss through his teeth. 
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702He only turns his attention forward again when a tray is brought up, the shinigami staying just out of arms' length, he notes absently. It wouldn't save the man if he decided to attack. He's not sure if he says it out loud, as he studies the contents of the tray. Not something living, no blood or breathing or struggling, no sound. His gaze lifts to the shinigami who'd delivered it, twice as tempted as moments ago, before his attention flickers to you once again.
703He snatches the tray out of the shinigami's hands with an unnecessary amount of aggression, weight shifting to lunge, but he turns on his heal instead, snapping out, "Where're we goin'?" because this entire ordeal needs to be underway before he loses his temper or his control or both. He doesn't actually look at the man as he points at the shinigami you'd been ordering around, "If this ends up as unpalatable to a hollow as it looks, it's comin' back up all over you." He can eat while they walk, and while he doubts the shinigami around them have any notion, his reluctant willingness to go along with this is a serious effort to behave himself.
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710ichxgo09/24/2018
711He sees that look you give, even if you don’t get around to voicing it. “I’m not your keeper. Isn’t that what you wanted? To act on your own? Because it would be pretty shitty of you to expect me to butt out of trying to save your life one minute and then expect me to jump back in the next.” Apparently, even if he decided to forgive you, he isn’t above being petty and throwing it back in your face. But... You’re not going to jerk him around that way. You can’t possibly think this hasn’t hurt or even destroyed their relationship. If it could even be called that. 
712
713Still, though. He’s supposed to be upset. He’s supposed to feel betrayed. Instead, all he wants is to touch you. But it’s an untimely want, because they have witnesses and places to be. Even if he promised not to let them do any of those things, he couldn’t keep it. He’s going to be doing well just keeping himself in check.
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715He watches you struggle, but he keeps to what he said. Mostly. Only breaking enough to brush fingers along your wrist when you turn toward him. The food they provide is surprisingly undisgusting. Almost normal even. Which means there’s probably no way you’ll like it, but maybe not. If it has enough reishi to sustain you, it can’t be that terrible. But despite what he said, he tenses automatically when your posture changes, unsure if he plans to intervene or if it’s even a choice at all the way his body is acting without conscious decision. 
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717But he nods hesitantly, and starts slowly back toward the First, having no real desire to get there or answer your question. “We have a meeting with all the Captains. Our agreement before was a mostly private thing. Ukitake had jurisdiction over Karakura and the surrounding areas, so he could just tell who he wanted. Captains and Lieutenants, anyone assigned to Karakura. But he’s gone now, and the new agreement isn’t going to be private, I guess.”
718He hates that he can hardly feel you. It’s unnatural. He’s so used to the presence of your reiatsu being thick and heavy, saturating everything around. He has to keep glancing over to assure himself you’re really there. “There are a lot of rules.”
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725ShadowThorne09/25/2018
726It's probably a good thing they're already on their way out the door to deal with a very uncomfortable situation, because otherwise, those comments might be enough to have him at  your throat. It's like you think it was a purely selfish request, like he was doing it only to save his own skin, when it was as much to save those shinigami and spare you the ordeal of him ripping them apart and you witnessing that and probably his own death too. But as it is, all you earn is a snarl and hard look. He can hardly put any real thought into fighting with you when, at the moment,  you register as the least threatening thing on his radar.
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728That light touch, as unexpected as it is, makes him flinch, but only just barely. In truth, he would welcome it. This feels too much like a procession and if it ends in execution, he wont be surprised.
729He's not ready for that. As willing and ready to forfeit his freedom to give you a chance at a normal life as he was, as willing to risk dying in the fight he knew he'd be starting as he was, he's not ready now. He's not ready to be killed without his sword in hand. And if they were to kill you too... He shakes his head minutely, unable to finish the thought.
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731He hates your answer almost as much as he hates this situation. He grunts a rye sound, sneering down at what he's supposed to be eating, not looking at you or anyone else but not keeping track of everyone. "So the agreement to keep me in line wasn't even official enough to actually mean anything. I was wasting my time-" He jerks to a stop, frozen for a second of terrible realization. The agreement was by one captain, not all of Seireitei. He sought to make it known that none of this was on you, and it probably didn't even matter. He chokes out a tight, bitter laugh and tears into his provided meal with his free hand as he starts walking again. It certainly doesn't have the same stress relief and violent release that tearing into a hollow does. "I hate rules." It's a distracted mutter, "Why am I even needed for this? I wasn't included in the first attempt. I'm just a hollow, I have a hard time believin' they give a shit about my input in whatever is about to happen." 
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733He gnaws on a piece of...whatever is in his hand.. Nose wrinkling, he doesn't bother hiding his disapproval. But he's hungry so he eats with something close to typical hollow vigor anyway.
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739ichxgo09/25/2018
740That snarl earns you another glance, but if you’re looking for a fight, he’s all out at the moment. The best he has is a lot of snark and attitude. And he’s having trouble just mustering that much.
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742Your flinch isn’t entirely unforeseen, but he pulls his touch away. Inexplicably embarrassed to have witnesses to it. But then it twists into something closer to anger because what they do is no one else’s damn business. He doesn’t even know why it matters, half of Seireitei probably knows they’re sleeping together by now. 
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744He follows your line of thought without actually looking at you. Especially when you cut off. “I told you it was tentative. Why do you think we had to be careful?” He doesn’t stop walking even when you and the shinigami behind you do. It splits their group into two neat sections, and he can’t help but be annoyed at how easy it would be to escape if they didn’t have his family and friends to hold over him. “It was less official once he...” And then he does glance back, not sure how much you’re aware of, but he shrugs without saying it. “It got you out of that tower, don’t complain. Besides, you’re the one that said decisions about your fate should involve you. If you changed your mind, go back. Or leave. It’s not like it would make this any worse. I’m here and I have to stay here. You don’t. No reason for us both to be stuck running their errands and playing bitch. And for the record, they don’t give a shit what either of us think. You’re making yourself stay for no reason. It’s not like I’m going to thank you for it. You’re just something else they’re going to use to keep me in check. And vice versa.”
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746He’s not bothering to be quiet. He doubts they’ll have any secrets left after all of this is out in the open. If anything, he’s taking more than a little petty enjoyment out of making their entourage uncomfortable. Serves them right. Let them know their substitute likes to fuck hollows on the side. Ungrateful assholes.
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752ShadowThorne09/29/2018
753He's not looking for a fight, really, especially not with you. He's just angry and pent up and on edge. He's hungry and wary and he's been in a cage for how long he can't even say. He doesn't want a fight with you, he wants a way out of all this, but it has to include you. As poorly as his attempt to make their outlawry into his alone went, it has to include you. And that means he can't make any moves he know you wont follow, or anything that might get one of both of them killed. 
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755"I don't know." It's half growled, but low like a whisper. "I don't know, I assumed it was just part of the fine print no one ever told me about." It doesn't escape his notice; the way their escort splits, some shifting nervously. He eyes them as he continues walking, looking at the hands that hover over weapons, watching for reflexive readiness or lack thereof. Even with this damn collar, he's confident in his ability to wipe these soldiers out and get himself a real meal. He growls as he tears another bite free. "You'll have to forgive me if I'm not feelin' tremendously grateful at the moment." It's said in monotone, but in truth, he's more appreciative of you getting him out of there than he's saying. A wince interrupts the furrowing of his brow. Part of what you say genuinely wounds him. He could leave, or at least get lose, he knows he could. You could too, but you wont, which means he can't either. And he's not even sure where this odd sense of loyalty came from, or when it happened. He thinks he's had it longer than he's willing to believe. It's almost sickening.
756His answer is a mutter. "I know. Me bein' here's gonna make this a lot more complicated." But he's not going anywhere. "You're the one that messed this up, though. I knew what I was gettin' myself into, so really it's you makin' it more complicated. This must be why I never plan things out; 'cause it never goes right that way."
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758When he's finished his rushed meal, he tosses the tray at the nearest shinigami, curling his lip in dislike as he tries to make his anger resurface. It probably wont do much for him, aside from potentially cause more trouble, once they're in front of the captains, but it's more comfortable than this... Whatever he's feeling.
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764ichxgo09/29/2018
765He hates that even after everything, the mention of what he kept from you still threads a curl of guilt through his stomach. And he starts to remind you that you don’t have room to talk, except he shakes his head and decides you won’t ever see why he’s upset about it. There’s no reason to keep dragging it out. He’s here because he couldn’t help himself chasing after you. 
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767“I don’t care what you’re feeling.” At least, he wishes he didn’t. It would make this easier. But you said that to be an ass and he’s finding it easy to be one back. He keeps hoping it’ll make him feel better, but it isn’t.  And maybe part of him hopes that if he pushes you far enough, you really will get fed up enough to leave. You probably won’t get a better opportunity. 
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769“You throw yourself on the sword and I’m the one that messed up.” He really wishes he could resist responding, but he can’t. “You knew I would come.” There’s no question. You weren’t surprised. “Maybe your plans just shouldn’t involve so much wishful thinking.” Not that he has room to talk. He came for you and there was a lot of wishful thinking involved in that. 
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771The quick motions catch his attention, making his back tense, but as soon as he turns to see you’re not fighting or trying to get loose, he turns back around. It’d be too much to imagine you somehow suddenly started seeing how helpful that would be. It’s depressing. More than everything already was and he’s dreading what they’ll have to say. “If they execute you, we’re both dead anyway. At least if you ran one of us would be alive. You... you could keep my family safe.” The wistful tone of his voice is appalling and he clears his throat and then shrugs, because you won’t. He could beg and you wouldn’t.
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778ShadowThorne09/30/2018
779That statement earns a grunt of laughter, the idea of you not caring how he feels oddly amusing in a bitter, uncomfortable way. He doesn't really believe it, but he believes he deserves it. He thinks to push you further, to make it real, and he shrugs, "You and the resta the shinigami here. Guess I better get used to that."
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781You're not wrong; he did know, he'd just thought he would be able to get something worked out before you did. He sneers, baring teeth. "I threw myself on the sword first, and you, already knowin' it was there, threw yourself on it right behind me." His attention drops to the ground at his feet, a hand absently reaching up to hook fingers under the collar. Shaking his head slightly, half directed at you, half in some feeble attempt to get more room under the metal around his neck, "You didn't mess up. You messed it up. You messed up what I was trying to do." Maybe it doesn't seem like a big distinction, but it means something to him. "I know I messed up. I messed up when that shinigami got between me and my meal and I didn't realize I sooner. Messed up when I didn't realize this was a wasted effort sooner." And he messed up when he didn't have a better way to dispatch of you longer, to give him enough time to at least make an effort. 
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783The grin he flashes at your back is rye and sharp and aimed as much at their escort as you. "Me," It's emphasized, because he really doesn't want you dead, especially not for the sake of his mistakes. "And however many bastard shinigami as I can take down with me before it happens." But he shakes his head, because now who's the one with the wishful thinking? "Your family would hate me and I'd deserve it. When they asked me what happened to you, I'd tell them. Everything. And they'd know it was my fault. I can't protect them, that's your thing. I can't even keep you safe, and I'm here, so I'm apparently too stupid to look out for myself."
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789ichxgo09/30/2018
790His feet stop automatically and something cold as ice water shoots through his veins. It hurts to breathe, like someone slipped a knife through his ribs, and he’s so fucking angry he can’t get his mouth to move to speak. Fuck you. Just— There’s no sword at his back or side, so his hands close on air. He works hard to steady himself and rein back the overwhelming flood of his emotions, because he doesn’t see a single other person, never mind Shinigami, trying to help you. It takes a long minute of grinding teeth and uneven, forced breaths, but he turns on his heel and doesn’t look at you again. 
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792The downturn to your words, all the things you say that he should already know, it takes a toll. The fact that he’s going to potentially let his friends die over this, anyone that comes for him, anyone that would be his ally here— for you. He’s second guessing himself. If this is really what he should be doing. 
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794By the time they reach the meeting and stand before the gathered Captains, he doesn’t have anything to say to anyone and tunes the entire thing out. Not bothering to answer even when he’s asked questions or spoken to directly. Its as if the entire thing is happening far away. It’s not even stubbornness. He gets what’s happening, but he’s overwrought, caught in a moment of not caring how the entire thing goes one way or the other, because surely no one would have to die for him if he’s already dead. But if they did, at least he wouldn’t have to know.
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796But Kisuke is still there, and he answers what Ichigo isn’t even hearing anymore. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he registers the terms of their captivity, knows he’s being spoken to again, but he doesn’t look up until there’s someone shouting in his face and he sees Soifon. His eyes go to Urahara long enough to see his head nod and he copies the motion, which must be acceptable, before tuning out again.
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804ShadowThorne10/01/2018
805He actually tenses, wait shifting, when you stop like that, preparing for an attack he can so clearly see in your demeanor. Internally, he flinches at the effect his words has, but it stays internal. He'd known what he was doing when he said it. He studies your back and the rigidness of your gait for the rest of their walk. Maybe you'll be smart enough to help yourself now, maybe they'll offer you a way out and you'll take it. Maybe.
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807He decides, as they near what is clearly their destination, that the silence that's fallen between them is even worse than the half-assed jabs they'd been annoying each other with. He freezes up in the doorway, but it's momentary. The second one of the men from the escort get too near, to hurry him alone, he snarls his dislike and continues after you in his best act of being unperturbed.
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809His attention is split between you, the others around them, and what's actually being said. Halfway through he calls you an idiot, because for all you know, they're helping your family plan your funeral. It's obvious you've mentally checked out and even though he wants you to be mad him, he wants you to hate him enough to abandon him and cut a deal for yourself, there's still that little part of him trying to reach out to you.
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811And then what basically amounts to servitude comes up and his head snaps around and he finds himself baring teeth at every captain willing to meet his eye. The idea of hunting hollows on Soul Society's behalf has never sat well with him, it's why he never really agreed to help you keep an eye on the area they were in until fairly recently, and even that was only because you were busy with important things, things you wont get to do now because he messed up and you wont let him make it right.
812And why the hell is that creepy one making agreements for you? For both of them, apparently. Because all of his protests and most of his questions are ignored, and when his tone turns demanding, than threatening, the readiness of their escort is impossible to miss. He threatens to kill the first shinigami that starts to reach for him when his posture shifts and he steps towards the captains. As if any one of the captains isn't stronger than all of these guards. And you're still not paying attention, so he ends up getting snarly towards you, too.
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818ichxgo10/01/2018
819His head turns, attention flickering back to life at your raised voice when you threaten their escort and snarl at him. But he’s still sluggish to respond. He could get between you, but you got so angry last time he stopped you from attacking, he knows that would just make your angry defiance worse. He frowns, not bothering to raise his voice. “Why did you even come if you weren’t going to agree? You could’ve just left. You should have.”  But you didn’t. So why are you complaining?
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821And then there are others between them, cutting off any attempt to reach you, even though he hasn’t tried.  Not really. 
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823It’s hard to maintain his distance in the face of your distress, and he can feel anxiety for your wellbeing churning in his stomach. “Shiro.” He knows what he said about not helping you, but that was probably never something he was capable of. He pushes toward you, but there’s a sword at his throat before he even gets three steps. He ignores it. He’s still not completely focused. And it drags against his flesh, finally halting his forward progress.
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830ShadowThorne10/05/2018
831His attention snaps to you with an indignant, angry expression. "I already told you I wasn't abandoning you here to deal with my mess! Stop actin' like I should." It's snarled out at a near yell. He couldn't care less about keeping it private. Then his attention goes right back to the gathered captains, almost dismissive of you. 
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833The more those around them move about, especially when they start getting between you and him, the more defensive he gets. Despite that, he's still calm enough to speak, to use words, growling and demanding though they may be,and his movements, while forward and aggressive, are mostly shifting and agitated unease. But all of that is lost when weapons are pulled from scabords and he looks over to find a sword across your throat and blood drawn.
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835His control snaps and he's pivoting towards you before he conciously realizes he's moving. His hand automatically goes for a sword that's not there, but no mind, he's fully capable of fighting without it and the empty space above his shoulder doesn't slow him as he charges forward, tossing a member of their escort aside without second thought when he's too slow to react.
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841ichxgo10/05/2018
842It’s hard not to act like he thinks you should when he thinks you should.  But he bites his tongue on the words when he sees your agitation building. 
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844He reaches up without thought when you move forward, fingers curling around the sword at his throat even as he flings his other hand out toward you palm first. “Stop! I don’t need you to do this. It was an accident. I’m not hurt! Look after yourself!” 
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846Because they’re obviously going to take advantage of your distraction. Part of his disregard for that sword was that, unlike you, he doesn’t think they want him dead. He doesn’t think you’ll get the same leeway. You’re more dangerous than he is.
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853ShadowThorne10/09/2018
854Despite poking and prodding and trying to piss you off, his attention is still fixated on you and your words. All of this could have easily enough been deescalated and kept under control had weapons not been drawn, but how could they expect him to react in any other way?  Surrounded as they are, he doesn't get much momentum going before he's finding himself more defensive than offensive. Without his sword, it's automatic to attempt to form a cero, thinking to clear himself some space. The heat and energy starts to build, but the collar prevents him from forming it fully, and it gutters out, sparking and hot against the skin of his hand, before he can force it into something that could be fired.
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856His hand goes to the collar in the briefest of touches, because he knows that's where his problem is and it sends something cold and hard and sickening into the pit of his gut. If this turns into an all out fight, it wont be like last time. It could hardly have been called fair, when he'd first been dragged to Soul Society, but he'd had his full arsenal, at least. Brute strength could get him a body count, but probably wouldn't guarantee his survival.
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858He was pushing you away, hoping you'd look out for yourself and condemn him for what he did. It's not fair, and he knows that, but your name slips from him anyway. "...Ichigo–" It's a drawn, growling word; not a plea, but nor does his tone hold force or command. Surrounded by shinigami, it's the closest thing he'll get to admitting he doesn't know what to do, that he's in over his head. It's the closest he'll get to voicing the cold fear slithering down his spine as he shifts to keep his biggest threats in front of him, rigid and snarly and with bared teeth.
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865ichxgo10/10/2018
866For some reason, it’s taken him far to long to realize you really won’t be able to do this on your own. It suddenly hits him as he’s watching, and when you say his name that way. You’re usually so independent and capable, so he’d expected you to be that way now, but you’re out of your depth and sinking. 
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868Even Urahara looks tense when Ichigo finds him with a panicked glance. He’s not sure if the shopkeeper can do anything or not, and he’s not going to wait to find out. The hand already curled around that sword shoves it away, he can feel the bite in his palm, but it’s a faraway concern. He shoves his way through, and they must be letting him, because no one else tries to stop him. He latches onto your shihakusho with one hand, not a tight grip, but he’s not letting go anytime soon. 
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870He does his best to speak in a normal voice, something softer and calm— as calm as he can make it anyway. “Look at me, Shiro, not them.” But he immediately rethinks that, turning his head to find Shunsui. “If he agrees, he doesn’t have to back to the tower. You have to find him somewhere else.” He watches the surprise flicker across the new Commander’s face, this isn’t supposed to be a negotiation, but he finally nods his assent. 
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872He turns back to you, stepping closer. “What else? What would make this easier?”
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879ShadowThorne10/10/2018
880He jerks when he feels a hand catch in his shihakusho, head snapping around as he prepares to defend himself, but his wide, seething eyes find you and he freezes for half a second, long enough to process that you were allowed to draw near, that there's no longer a sword at your throat. He has no idea what that means, though. His eyes drop slightly, taking in the shallow wound across your throat. Another growl works free and he reaches up to pull your hand from his clothing, but doesn't release it and doesn't try to go anywhere. 
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882Unable to help it, his attention keeps darting around them, at the figures far too close for his liking, before drifting back to you. He's trying to take that advice, but it's difficult when his nerves are on fire and every instinct is waring against letting potential threats out of his sight. "What?" He only belatedly realizes your talking to him again, eyes cornering to you, head shaking slightly. "I don't want-" But his desire to be here isn't relevant, nor is yours. And here he is dragging you deeper into the hole he's dug for them. It's not fair. To you.
883But he can't seem to loosen the vice grip he has on your hand. After another moment of trying to reorder his thoughts and choose logic over instinct, he hisses a breath through bared teeth and ends with a low, "Make them back off, I need room to think." eyes finding the captains briefly. 
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885He tries that not looking thing again, forcing himself to turn to face you a little more squarely. Every little movement from their circle of guards has him not-quite flinching, though. "I dunno- Hollows. I need real meals, and I'm gonna need that outlet." He doesn't care, for now at least, if that means throwing some hapless creature within his reach here in Soul Society or dragging him to Hueco Mundo or the world of the living, so long as it happens regularly. His sword would be nice too, but he suspects that's out of the question. Probably getting this collar off, too.  He thinks maybe he heard you say something about the tower, but he can't remember what, so he says it anyway, assuming that he's making sense and you'll know what he's saying.  "I can't go back there..."
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892ichxgo10/13/2018
893He can’t technically make them do anything. But he’s getting far more help than he expected, and with the exception of only a few captains, he thinks none of them really want to see him dead. He’s not sure about you, and that’s almost worse somehow that one of them might try to kill you thinking they’re doing him a favor. 
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895But they’ve been cooperating, and it’s dawning on him, that Seireitei might be good and truly concerned what will happen if you and he were to stop cooperating. It’s a whole new outlook. It’s not that Soul Society and the Captains aren’t dangerous, but they’re in a precarious position. He looks to each face, confirming that everyone assembled is as tense as they are. It helps, and he relaxes minutely, letting the fisted hand in your grasp loosen. No one wants this to go poorly. No one.
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897He tilts his head and says to everyone, but still no one in particular. “Give him some space.” He mostly just wants to see if they’ll do it, and it’s grudging, but they move back. It’s sort of a revelation. He turns toward the front without pulling his wrist from your hold. There aren’t hollows in Seireitei anymore— not unless they’re being kept by the Twelfth— but he’s heard the higher numbered districts still see a few. He speaks to Shunsui. “Is that possible? Can you get him hollows?” 
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899There’s the instant dissent of voices around them. They don’t want to feed a hollow. The Captains at least, aren’t excited by the idea, and Shinji and Kensei are hard to look at. Shinji, he thinks, gets it, but looks disgusted all the same.
900He nods at your next request, but there still hasn’t been a decision about the last and Urahara is talking to Shunsui. At last, they break apart and there’s reluctant agreement that you can hunt smaller hollows under the stipulation that your main source of Reiryoku is still provided by Mayuri. They agreed about the tower already and Shunsui stands, stepping down and Ichigo fights the urge to step back. But they’ve agreed to everything and so it’s your turn. 
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902He turns toward you, waiting to see what you’ll do, because he has no idea if that’s enough for you.
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910ShadowThorne10/14/2018
911He finds it a little easier to focus, rather than react on sheer instinct, when your words are heeded. All you did was repeat what he'd said, but it works, they take you seriously in a different way than he was being taken seriously. He releases a long, hissing breath, trying to collect himself, trying not to bare teeth and snarl all over again when a discussion starts up, adding overlapping voices and more charged energy to the area. It has a low rumble working through his throat, so automatic he hardly notices he's doing it at first.
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913And he doesn't like that agreement. He said real food. He wants it screaming and struggling and bleeding, like he's always had. It's natural, instinctive, necessary. It's like they plan on treating him as if he were an unwanted pet, which is maybe exactly what he's become, but he still thinks he deserves differently.
914"That's not going to be good enough for very long." But it's growled under his breath, to you, and he doesn't argue for more, not yet. 
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916There's space to maneuver, no walls within reach, yet he feels cornered the moment that captain steps closer. He doesn't know him, but he can read well enough and knows this one is in charge. If anything, he straightens, bristling, hand still circled in a clenched grip around your wrist. He thinks to demand your release, but it's a fleeting thought. They'd be stupid to let you go at this point. How else would they keep him under control when it's so easy to misstep and set him off? And he thinks, after what just happened, you probably wouldn't leave even if you could.
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918He's still struggling between instinctive aggression, born of anger and base, animal fear, and thinking clearly enough to handle this in a way that doesn't get him killed. "Terms can be renegotiated as needed." It's his last stipulation before he agrees. It's fair, as far as he's concerned. If something's not working out, it only makes sense to rework it. And if they both play their part, asking for such a thing should be within their rights. "Make this a little less abrasive, and I'll play pet hollow." For as long as he can, at least. His eyes flicker towards you, but only briefly, before returning to the captain, features set.
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926ichxgo10/14/2018
927He relaxes another fraction when that’s all that gets added, and as ridiculous as it is, he takes a moment to savor the contact of your hand on his wrist. It might be the last chance to touch you he gets for a while. He nods at your words, turning to look at you again. But even if he understands, he’s almost certain they’ve gotten everything out of this that they’re going to. 
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929He shifts a step to be a little more in front of you, not that it could possibly do any good. Shunsui gives an easy, diplomatic agreement however, inclining his head and looking pleasant enough. But Ichigo flinches at the word ‘pet’ and an involuntary sound of protest works up his throat, though he keeps his teeth clenched on it, because you’re not wrong. 
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931For himself, he’s reasonably sure he doesn’t need stipulations at all. Having you here is enough to keep him cooperative, and beyond that, his family. Though... “If anyone comes for me, I’d appreciate the chance to send them back on my own. They don’t need to be hurt.” It’s added somewhat quietly. Just the idea pains him and he’s not all that good at hiding what he feels. 
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933He’s glad they’re dealing with Shunsui. For as strong as he is, he doesn’t enjoy needless bloodshed the way other captains might in his position.
934But the atmosphere changes in the room, and it’s obvious the meeting is over and they’ll be taken out again. Most likely separated. So he turns back to you, you have his arm still anyway, so he doesn’t feel quite alone with his want for contact right now. “You should’ve gone.” His voice is a whisper, and he knows he keeps saying it, but he can’t help it. “You’re throwing away your freedom. You wouldn’t have done that before. You would’ve killed me for being in your way.” But that’s been a long time ago. “You just agreed to be a pet. I don’t want this. I don’t want you doing that for me. It’s not fair to make me choose between you and my family.” Because if he didn’t have a family— or friends— for them to go after, you would be out of here by now. But he can’t do anything while he’s tied up this way. Nothing besides watch you be degraded.
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942ShadowThorne10/17/2018
943His eyes flicker towards you again, hearing that underlying rawness in your voice when you speak. Surely Seireitei wouldn't stoop so low as to harm someone entirely innocent of all this? But on second thought, it sounds plausible enough. He holds no trust in those gathered around.
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945"I know." He shakes his head. You keep saying that, but he can't. Couldn't. He couldn't leave you here to deal with the mess he got them into. When he repeats it, the same two words, this time in answer to pointing out his loss of freedom, his voice is tight, the words forced from a constricted throat, passed clenched jaws. "I know-" Everything you say is true, and there's still that part of him somewhere. It rails at allowing this to happen. But it's overshadowed by his desire to keep you. Keep you safe, keep you with him, for himself. He doesn't want any of this either, but you know that. You know how much the idea of being thought of as a pet, let alone this close to being one in truth, eats away at his sensibilities. Before just a moment ago, he would have brutally murdered anyone to say such a thing about him. "I might live to regret it." All of it; staying, agreeing to cooperate, not getting you out of the way so that he could keep his freedom. He'll likely regret it all in time, if he lasts that long, and you might too. 
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947"Will we get to see each other, d'you think?" He can already feel the onset of returned panic trying sink claws into him, at the idea that after this, he'll be returned to another small space, another cage, left to pace like a captured animal until he loses too much of himself to even do that. It registers belatedly and only vaguely how his hand tightens still further around your wrist with the unpleasant thoughts. "I'm not sure how long this will last if we don't."
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954ichxgo10/17/2018
955He can’t help but snort a laugh when you say you might live to regret it. He hopes you do. He hopes you make it out of this. 
956
957“I don’t know. I’ll try.” There’s already a guard ready to lead him off, his arm taken when he makes no move to follow. He frowns though, unfazed by your tightening grip. He’d be doing the same. He doesn’t have anything else to offer though. But your words strike some sort of not quite rational fear. How long what will last? You or them or your mind? There are so many things that could be. He pushes against the hold his guard has and presses his mouth to yours. He hardly gets a few seconds of the kiss before he’s tugged back again, and he tries to give something of an encouraging smile. “It’ll be alright. We’ll see each other sooner or later.” 
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959But they can’t take him too far with your grip on his wrist. Even with bound reiatsu, they’re hardly weak. As much as he’d enjoy seeing them attempting to force your grip and failing, he thinks someone might kido off his arm. “Let go. It’ll be alright.”
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966ShadowThorne10/17/2018
967Your laugh earns a short lived but genuine smirk, his eyes dropping to the ground momentarily, before raising again to turn outward. It's hard to look at you, hard to meet your eye knowing that you're here because of him, that you were on the run in the place because of him. There's a small part of him that's angry at you for it, because you should have known better than to let him stay around this long. You should have known that his nature as a hollow would have, sooner or later, ended up being nothing but trouble for you. But even as he thinks it, he knows it's ridiculous. You can't and couldn't help how you feel about him any more than he can help being a hollow.
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969He nods, adding a quiet, "Me too." only for his attention to snap to the hand on you, the one that's not his. Irrational anger flares through him, hot enough to earn a snarl, only to be snuffed out when he's taken off guard by that kiss. When you're tugged away from him, he nearly whimpers and he's not entirely sure he keeps all of it from being audible. You're words are supposed to be comforting, but that kiss seemed like trying to get one last one in, like you expect your words to be proven wrong. It turns out to be less than reassuring. 
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971Baring teeth, he struggles to do what you tell him, managing it after a few drawn out moments, if only because someone comes up behind him to intervene. He can't not turn on them with a growl and a threat of loss of any hands that touch him. His attention turns back to you as guards try to get more space between them, he resists as little as he can manage.
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977ichxgo10/17/2018
978That sound you make has his teeth clenching, and for just a second, he thinks about how easy it should be to get out of here. How if he hadn’t willingly let them tie off his spiritual energy, it would be nothing to run and find his friends and family and make a stand.
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980It’s fleeting though. So many people would die in that confrontation. He studies your features, catches your fingers with, “it’ll be okay,” before releasing them again and letting himself be led out. He glances back at you over his shoulder at least twice before you’re out of sight and he’s taken back to his new cell. He wonders where they’ll put you. But they promised it won’t be the tower, so he hopes it’s something that won’t drive you out of your mind. 
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982He stands in his cell for a long while after they lock him in, just trying not to give in to the overwhelming sense of hopelessness and isolation before laying on futon, spending his time between sleeping and staring at nothing.
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987ShadowThorneYesterday at 8:54 PM
988For perhaps the first time in their relationship, he doesn't believe you. It wont be ok. None of this can be ok. It will be ok when they're freed, maybe, but not yet. For now, this is something to be survived, not something that can possibly be ok.
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990Even with guards trying to herd him away, he can't quite tear his attention off you until you're out of sight. They either took his threats seriously or they've been coached not to push him too far, maybe both, but it keeps hands off him which it makes it easier for him to cooperate when everything in him screams to fight.
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992He's led somewhere different than the tower, feeling mildly disconcerted, but not surprised, that they apparently have so many cages sitting around. And that's what this one is. One wall  of it is barred, leaving the front open for viewing, but it makes the space feel less closed in. At least compared to the tower. It'll do for now, but he's far from satisfied. 
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994Listening to the heavy door shut and lock, he lets his feet walk the automatic circle he makes out of the perimeter, consciously realizing  that this has the very real potential to become an obsessive habit but unable to stop himself.  He makes a full lap and half of a second before he twists and crosses to the middle of the space to sit, training his attention towards what's visible of the distant skyline above buildings. Now would be a good time to have an inner world, but alas, he's a hollow.
995(( I have NO excuse I'm so sorry for letting this sit so lonG OTL ))
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1000ichxgoYesterday at 10:04 PM
1001It’s nearly a full week before he’s let out of his cell. There are visitors often enough and it helps. And at the same time, it’s somehow worse. He knows it’s unlikely anyone is visiting you. He wants to ask Rukia to go. She would do it, he’s certain. But he’s not sure what condition you’re in or what you’ll say or do. Truthfully, he thinks she’d be safe as long as they’re feeding you, but he has no idea what’s going on. He should have made that a condition, that he’d be allowed to see you regularly, but there was so much he wasn’t even thinking about. He wasn’t sure they’d even survive this far.
1002
1003When they do lead him out, it’s for training and exercise.  He’s taken to the tenth and worked until he’s ready to drop. Without access to most of his spiritual energy, it’s far easier than it should be. It’s disconcerting, but he makes a note of it. Tries to determine exactly what he’s capable of like this. He’s fed again and showered. Despite the mostly pleasant attitudes he receives, it’s clear his freedom is curtailed. But he’s being guarded by Ikkaku and Yumichilka for the week— not lieutenants, but apparently close enough— so it’s better than it could be. They even manage to take him out. They drink and he knows how easy it would be to get away, but he’d never be able to get you out. He gives in, downs enough to drown himself and wakes up in his cell, sick and sweating and aching everywhere. But it killed a few miserable hours and he only regrets how sick he is.
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1005His judgement in the aftermath is just poor enough that he gives in and asks Rukia to see how you are and he must sound pathetic when he asks, because she stops berating him for getting wasted on cheep booze and sits quietly, occasionally offering quiet words of encouragement. She hardly knocks him around at all, but he’s too out of it to bother being grateful. 
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1007(( pffff don’t even worry about it. I’m fine with however long it takes ♡ c: ))