HH4TeX5w

11
200:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,624
3MAN: It has been described
4as one of the most vicious
5
62
700:00:36,625 --> 00:00:39,582
8presidential races in the
9history of American politics.
10
113
1200:00:39,583 --> 00:00:41,207
13And one of the closest.
14
154
1600:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,958
17The Republican
18nominee,
19
205
2100:00:42,959 --> 00:00:45,457
22Senator
23Russell P. Kramer
24of Ohio,
25
266
2700:00:45,458 --> 00:00:49,124
28is practically dead even
29in the polls with his
30bitter rival,
31
327
3300:00:49,125 --> 00:00:51,958
34Democratic Governor
35Matt Douglas of Indiana.
36
378
3800:00:51,959 --> 00:00:55,332
39To say there is
40no love lost
41between these two candidates
42
439
4400:00:55,333 --> 00:00:57,416
45is a gross understatement.
46
4710
4800:00:57,417 --> 00:01:00,582
49And yet, tonight,
50in spite of their almost
51overwhelming
52
5311
5400:01:00,583 --> 00:01:02,124
55distaste for each other,
56
5712
5800:01:02,125 --> 00:01:04,791
59one of these men will
60have to salute the other
61
6213
6300:01:04,792 --> 00:01:07,166
64as the next President
65of the United States.
66
6714
6800:01:10,166 --> 00:01:12,792
69(CHEERING, WHISTLING,
70MARCHING BAND PLAYING)
71
7215
7300:01:32,583 --> 00:01:34,249
74Thank you!
75
7616
7700:01:34,250 --> 00:01:36,040
78Thank you!
79God bless you!
80
8117
8200:01:36,041 --> 00:01:40,791
83What was once a dream
84is now a reality.
85
8618
8700:01:40,792 --> 00:01:42,207
88WOMAN: We love you!
89
9019
9100:01:42,208 --> 00:01:43,707
92You know, I've always said
93
9420
9500:01:43,708 --> 00:01:45,332
96that our dreams
97are like our children.
98
9921
10000:01:45,333 --> 00:01:49,165
101They need encouragement
102and support to grow.
103
10422
10500:01:49,166 --> 00:01:51,833
106They must be nurtured
107and sheltered
108
10923
11000:01:51,834 --> 00:01:55,332
111but allowed to run free.
112
11324
11400:01:55,333 --> 00:01:59,499
115We are here to help your dream
116become real, America.
117
11825
11900:01:59,500 --> 00:02:02,165
120And I'm confident
121that we'll be here
122
12326
12400:02:02,166 --> 00:02:05,290
125for a long, long time to come!
126
12727
12800:02:05,291 --> 00:02:09,667
129(CHEERING)
130
13128
13200:02:14,375 --> 00:02:18,249
133And so it appears the American
134people have spoken.
135
13629
13700:02:18,250 --> 00:02:19,666
138(BOOING)
139
14030
14100:02:19,667 --> 00:02:21,916
142A few minutes ago,
143
14431
14500:02:21,917 --> 00:02:24,750
146I congratulated
147Governor Douglas
148on his victory.
149
15032
15100:02:27,041 --> 00:02:29,582
152We fought bravely,
153but the time has come for us
154
15533
15600:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,958
157to stand behind
158our new president
159
16034
16100:02:31,959 --> 00:02:35,249
162and put aside
163any feelings of ill will,
164
16535
16600:02:35,250 --> 00:02:37,040
167rancor,
168
16936
17000:02:37,041 --> 00:02:38,874
171hostility,
172
17337
17400:02:38,875 --> 00:02:41,315
175and serious doubts
176about this man's ability
177to lead a nation...
178
17938
18000:02:42,542 --> 00:02:44,999
181That I hope none of us feels.
182
18339
18400:02:45,000 --> 00:02:49,916
185(CHEERING, WHISTLING,
186MARCHING BAND PLAYING)
187
18840
18900:02:49,917 --> 00:02:52,250
190(FIREWORKS POPPING)
191
19241
19300:03:13,458 --> 00:03:17,249
194A funny thing happened on
195the way to the office tonight.
196
19742
19800:03:17,250 --> 00:03:20,416
199I got elected president
200of the United States!
201
20243
20300:03:20,417 --> 00:03:23,917
204(CHEERING)
205
20644
20700:03:30,625 --> 00:03:33,499
208A funny thing happened on the
209way to the hotel tonight.
210
21145
21200:03:33,500 --> 00:03:34,791
213(BOOING)
214
21546
21600:03:34,792 --> 00:03:36,541
217No, the people have spoken.
218
21947
22000:03:36,542 --> 00:03:38,958
221Maybe we don't agree
222with their decision...
223
22448
22500:03:38,959 --> 00:03:40,666
226How are you?
227Congratulations.
228
22949
23000:03:40,667 --> 00:03:42,874
231What a night!
232
23350
23400:03:42,875 --> 00:03:44,582
235I think it's time, sir.
236
23751
23800:03:44,583 --> 00:03:47,040
239Well, all right, then.
240How about it?
241
24252
24300:03:47,041 --> 00:03:49,499
244Shall we greet the nation,
245Mr. Vice president elect?
246
24753
24800:03:49,500 --> 00:03:52,040
249I guess so. But are we sure
250it's official, sir?
251
25254
25300:03:52,041 --> 00:03:54,791
254Ted, President Douglas
255just conceded.
256
25755
25800:03:54,792 --> 00:03:56,416
259I'd say that's a pretty
260damn good sign.
261
26256
26300:03:56,417 --> 00:03:57,417
264(LAUGHTER)
265
26657
26700:03:58,583 --> 00:04:00,541
268Oh. Yeah.
269
27058
27100:04:00,542 --> 00:04:02,791
272Let's go.
273Yep.
274
27559
27600:04:02,792 --> 00:04:06,792
277(CHEERING AND WHISTLING)
278
27960
28000:04:10,458 --> 00:04:12,959
281(CROWD CHANTING) HANEY!
282
28361
28400:04:36,959 --> 00:04:40,457
285I have always believed
286that dreams are like children.
287
28862
28900:04:40,458 --> 00:04:43,874
290They need encouragement
291and support to grow.
292
29363
29400:04:43,875 --> 00:04:46,207
295But ultimately,
296it is perseverance
297
29864
29900:04:46,208 --> 00:04:49,874
300that will turn a dream
301into a reality,
302
30365
30400:04:49,875 --> 00:04:52,040
305countries into world powers,
306
30766
30800:04:52,041 --> 00:04:55,165
309and your own Hiroshi Ashino
310
31167
31200:04:55,166 --> 00:04:58,333
313into Matsamuda's insurance
314underwriter of the year.
315
31668
31700:05:00,250 --> 00:05:03,375
318(SINGING "YOU'RE IN THE MONEY"
319IN JAPANESE)
320
32169
32200:05:10,250 --> 00:05:12,875
323Congrats.
324
32570
32600:05:23,208 --> 00:05:25,207
327What the hell?
328
32971
33000:05:25,208 --> 00:05:26,708
331(CHEERING)
332
33372
33400:05:27,500 --> 00:05:30,582
335Jesus Christ.
336
33773
33800:05:30,583 --> 00:05:32,541
339The damn thing
340just grabbed me.
341
34274
34300:05:32,542 --> 00:05:34,582
344What the hell am I
345supposed to do, knock it down?
346
34775
34800:05:34,583 --> 00:05:37,582
349You handled it very well, sir.
350Oh, you think so,
351Caldwell?
352
35376
35400:05:37,583 --> 00:05:40,416
355Well, tomorrow morning there's
356going to be a picture of me
357dancing with a giant dog
358
35977
36000:05:40,417 --> 00:05:42,582
361in every newspaper
362on this planet.
363
36478
36500:05:42,583 --> 00:05:45,207
366I believe it was
367a panda, sir.
368The dark fur around the eyes.
369
37079
37100:05:45,208 --> 00:05:47,249
372Why a Japanese company
373would choose...
374
37580
37600:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,374
377I don't care.
378
37981
38000:05:48,375 --> 00:05:50,833
381Did Jefferson dance
382with a bear? Did Lincoln?
383
38482
38500:05:50,834 --> 00:05:53,916
386Did Reagan fox trot
387with a friggin' panda?
388I could check, sir.
389
39083
39100:05:53,917 --> 00:05:57,040
392The point is I was President
393of the United States.
394
39584
39600:05:57,041 --> 00:05:58,791
397I don't dance
398with animals.
399
40085
40100:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,582
402Yes, sir.
403No dancing with animals, sir.
404
40586
40600:06:00,583 --> 00:06:02,499
407Sir,
408message from the President.
409
41087
41100:06:02,500 --> 00:06:04,624
412Oh, thanks, Jim.
413Jim's off today, sir.
414I'm Bruce.
415
41688
41700:06:04,625 --> 00:06:06,040
418Oh, sorry.
419
42089
42100:06:06,041 --> 00:06:08,416
422You and Jim
423look very much alike.
424
42590
42600:06:08,417 --> 00:06:10,249
427Jim's black, sir.
428
42991
43000:06:10,250 --> 00:06:11,624
431Yeah.
432
43392
43400:06:11,625 --> 00:06:12,583
435I know.
436
43793
43800:06:12,584 --> 00:06:13,916
439But you're both...
440
44194
44200:06:13,917 --> 00:06:16,290
443Uh, tall.
444
44595
44600:06:16,291 --> 00:06:19,125
447Aw, damn it, he's sending me
448to another funeral.
449
45096
45100:06:27,458 --> 00:06:28,958
452(CHUCKLING)
453
45497
45500:06:28,959 --> 00:06:31,124
456I can't believe
457I just did it
458with Matt Douglas.
459
46098
46100:06:31,125 --> 00:06:32,791
462You were
463the leader of the free world.
464
46599
46600:06:32,792 --> 00:06:36,332
467My mother has a commemorative
468plate with your face on it.
469
470100
47100:06:36,333 --> 00:06:38,666
472Joanna, you haven't said
473anything about my book,
474
475101
47600:06:38,667 --> 00:06:40,416
477the new draft.
478Better?
479
480102
48100:06:40,417 --> 00:06:42,290
482Well, um...
483
484103
48500:06:42,291 --> 00:06:44,332
486I'm your editor.
487
488104
48900:06:44,333 --> 00:06:46,624
490Keep in mind
491I'm supposed to be critical.
492
493105
49400:06:46,625 --> 00:06:48,124
495It, um...
496It stinks, right?
497
498106
49900:06:48,125 --> 00:06:51,124
500No, it doesn't stink.
501I would never...
502
503107
50400:06:51,125 --> 00:06:53,457
505Yeah, it is pretty stinky.
506I'm sorry.
507
508108
50900:06:53,458 --> 00:06:55,290
510It's just you spend
511too much of the book
512
513109
51400:06:55,291 --> 00:06:57,582
515talking about what you
516wanted to do and didn't do
517
518110
51900:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,999
520instead of what you did.
521That's because
522I didn't do much.
523
524111
52500:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,208
526How's that for honesty?
527
528112
52900:07:04,041 --> 00:07:05,624
530I believe that's yours.
531
532113
53300:07:05,625 --> 00:07:07,999
534Look, Joanna,
535if the book goes,
536
537114
53800:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,457
539if it doesn't go,
540I don't really care.
541
542115
54300:07:10,458 --> 00:07:12,082
544I'm only writing it
545'cause, frankly,
546
547116
54800:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,332
549I don't know
550what else to do.
551
552117
55300:07:13,333 --> 00:07:17,499
554I'm sure you've got
555plenty of options.
556Not really.
557
558118
55900:07:17,500 --> 00:07:21,124
560But I'll tell you one thing,
561I'll never be like Kramer.
562Running around the country
563
564119
56500:07:21,125 --> 00:07:22,999
566sucking up every dime
567that isn't nailed down.
568
569120
57000:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,916
571Now, Jimmy Carter,
572there's a class act.
573
574121
57500:07:24,917 --> 00:07:27,374
576He goes around
577building homes for poor people
578
579122
58000:07:27,375 --> 00:07:29,290
581with his own hands.
582That's classy.
583
584123
58500:07:29,291 --> 00:07:30,833
586Well, you could do that.
587
588124
58900:07:30,834 --> 00:07:33,457
590Yeah, yeah, maybe.
591In a couple of years.
592
593125
59400:07:33,458 --> 00:07:34,999
595But right now, my attitude is
596
597126
59800:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,041
599they didn't vote for me,
600let 'em freeze.
601
602127
60300:07:42,125 --> 00:07:44,749
604That was a little too easy.
605You guys are getting soft.
606
607128
60800:07:44,750 --> 00:07:46,582
609Mr. President, once again,
610we really wish you
611wouldn't do that.
612
613129
61400:07:46,583 --> 00:07:48,332
615You put yourself
616at great risk, sir.
617
618130
61900:07:48,333 --> 00:07:50,040
620Oh, yeah, right.
621Let me ask you something.
622
623131
62400:07:50,041 --> 00:07:52,040
625In all the years ex-presidents
626
627132
62800:07:52,041 --> 00:07:54,374
629have had secret-service
630protection,
631has there ever been
632
633133
63400:07:54,375 --> 00:07:56,749
635even one assassination attempt
636on any of them?
637
638134
63900:07:56,750 --> 00:07:58,541
640Uh, no, sir.
641
642135
64300:07:58,542 --> 00:08:00,332
644I find that sad.
645
646136
64700:08:00,333 --> 00:08:01,958
648The minute
649you're out of office,
650
651137
65200:08:01,959 --> 00:08:03,707
653they don't care enough about
654you to kill you anymore.
655
656138
65700:08:03,708 --> 00:08:05,707
658People are fickle.
659
660139
66100:08:05,708 --> 00:08:08,374
662Uh, sir, before we go in,
663Chet and I would
664really like to know
665
666140
66700:08:08,375 --> 00:08:09,499
668how you got out
669of that bathroom stall
670
671141
67200:08:09,500 --> 00:08:10,707
673without us seeing.
674
675142
67600:08:10,708 --> 00:08:12,499
677Why don't you guys
678just relax?
679
680143
68100:08:12,500 --> 00:08:16,041
682Take a night off. Go rent
683In the Line of Fire again.
684
685144
68600:08:27,041 --> 00:08:28,749
687MAN: We'll be at Air Force One
688shortly, President Douglas.
689
690145
69100:08:28,750 --> 00:08:30,457
692DOUGLAS:
693I hate these funerals.
694
695146
69600:08:30,458 --> 00:08:33,082
697It's just awful when another
698good Democrat passes on.
699
700147
70100:08:33,083 --> 00:08:35,165
702I believe the deceased
703was a Republican, sir.
704
705148
70600:08:35,166 --> 00:08:37,708
707Oh. Well, then,
708it might not be so bad.
709
710149
71100:08:41,291 --> 00:08:44,250
712(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
713
714150
71500:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,707
716Hello, baby.
717
718151
71900:08:46,708 --> 00:08:48,291
720Daddy's home.
721
722152
72300:08:51,041 --> 00:08:52,208
724Mr. President.
725
726153
72700:08:57,834 --> 00:08:59,749
728(SIGHS)
729
730154
73100:08:59,750 --> 00:09:01,083
732And there's the old seat.
733
734155
73500:09:05,291 --> 00:09:06,583
736President Douglas.
737
738156
73900:09:08,667 --> 00:09:09,834
740President Kramer.
741
742157
74300:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,666
744Uh-huh.
745
746158
74700:09:12,667 --> 00:09:14,792
748Well, that covers that.
749
750159
75100:09:20,208 --> 00:09:22,959
752(WHISTLING TUNE)
753
754160
75500:09:25,625 --> 00:09:28,499
756Russell, I just have to ask.
757
758161
75900:09:28,500 --> 00:09:29,624
760Hmm?
761
762162
76300:09:29,625 --> 00:09:30,917
764When you dance with a panda...
765
766163
76700:09:31,959 --> 00:09:33,500
768Who leads?
769
770164
77100:09:34,625 --> 00:09:35,667
772(GROANS)
773
774165
77500:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,124
776What,
777are you working
778on your book?
779
780166
78100:09:45,125 --> 00:09:47,499
782Mmm-hmm.
783Yeah.
784
785167
78600:09:47,500 --> 00:09:50,791
787I find writing
788very gratifying. I must.
789
790168
79100:09:50,792 --> 00:09:53,416
792I've written seven books
793on my years at the helm.
794
795169
79600:09:53,417 --> 00:09:56,291
797You've obviously got
798a great knack for fiction.
799
800170
80100:09:56,875 --> 00:09:59,374
802(GULPS)
803
804171
80500:09:59,375 --> 00:10:01,291
806And how is Mrs. Douglas?
807
808172
80900:10:03,041 --> 00:10:04,332
810We're in the middle
811of a divorce.
812
813173
81400:10:04,333 --> 00:10:06,666
815Oh, yeah.
816I knew that, didn't I?
817
818174
81900:10:06,667 --> 00:10:08,541
820I guess
821life in the White House
822
823175
82400:10:08,542 --> 00:10:10,666
825put too much of a strain
826on your marriage.
827
828176
82900:10:10,667 --> 00:10:12,833
830No, it was
831being out
832of the White House
833
834177
83500:10:12,834 --> 00:10:15,290
836that Katherine couldn't stand.
837Well, gee,
838that's funny.
839
840178
84100:10:15,291 --> 00:10:17,999
842Your being out of the White
843House went over so well
844with the rest of the country.
845
846179
84700:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,541
848Oh, yeah, you want to compare
849popularity polls?
850
851180
85200:10:20,542 --> 00:10:22,249
853Yeah,
854let's talk about popularity.
855
856181
85700:10:22,250 --> 00:10:24,332
858There was only one
859assassination attempt on me.
860
861182
86200:10:24,333 --> 00:10:25,707
863You had three.
864
865183
86600:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,541
867Two! The woman in Phoenix
868doesn't count!
869
870184
87100:10:27,542 --> 00:10:29,040
872She only had a starter pistol!
873
874185
87500:10:29,041 --> 00:10:30,666
876Stop. Just stop.
877
878186
87900:10:30,667 --> 00:10:32,749
880We're only together
881because a man has died.
882
883187
88400:10:32,750 --> 00:10:35,874
885I think that we can attempt
886some semblance
887of civility, can't we?
888
889188
89000:10:35,875 --> 00:10:37,332
891Well, I know I can.
892
893189
89400:10:37,333 --> 00:10:41,165
895(BUGLE PLAYING TAPS)
896
897190
89800:10:41,166 --> 00:10:43,707
899You're a whore. Admit it.
900Admit you're a big whore.
901Go ahead.
902
903191
90400:10:43,708 --> 00:10:45,833
905Name three women
906from the District of Columbia
907
908192
90900:10:45,834 --> 00:10:47,624
910that you didn't bang
911when you were in office.
912
913193
91400:10:47,625 --> 00:10:49,290
915What am I talking about?
916Name one.
917
918194
91900:10:49,291 --> 00:10:50,582
920Screw you.
921Blow me.
922
923195
92400:10:50,583 --> 00:10:52,208
925(GUNSHOTS FIRE)
926
927196
92800:10:55,083 --> 00:10:57,207
929KRAMER: When I appointed
930general Charles Sherman
931
932197
93300:10:57,208 --> 00:10:58,749
934to the Joint Chiefs,
935
936198
93700:10:58,750 --> 00:11:01,874
938I knew that he was
939a man with a dream.
940
941199
94200:11:01,875 --> 00:11:05,667
943And I have always believed
944that dreams are like
945our children.
946
947200
94800:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,916
949(SIGHS)
950Buy a new speech, Russell.
951
952201
95300:11:09,917 --> 00:11:11,290
954That dead general's
955the lucky one.
956
957202
95800:11:11,291 --> 00:11:13,541
959He won't ever have to
960hear it again.
961
962203
96300:11:13,542 --> 00:11:15,749
964Grab me a towel,
965would you, Carl?
966
967204
96800:11:15,750 --> 00:11:18,150
969You know, I don't like
970to be interrupted
971when I'm on the bike.
972
973205
97400:11:18,417 --> 00:11:19,958
975What's going on?
976
977206
97800:11:19,959 --> 00:11:21,749
979Mr. President, I'm afraid
980a situation's come up.
981
982207
98300:11:21,750 --> 00:11:24,999
984The Democrats may have
985some damaging information
986
987208
98800:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,249
989about Olympia.
990
991209
99200:11:27,250 --> 00:11:29,874
993Sir...
994Olympia?
995
996210
99700:11:29,875 --> 00:11:31,916
998We've had that buried
999for years.
1000Yes, sir.
1001
1002211
100300:11:31,917 --> 00:11:34,249
1004But I was thinking,
1005when all this took place,
1006
1007212
100800:11:34,250 --> 00:11:35,874
1009Kramer was president.
1010
1011213
101200:11:35,875 --> 00:11:39,124
1013There's a possibility we could
1014lay the scandal on him.
1015
1016214
101700:11:39,125 --> 00:11:41,624
1018Yeah, but he didn't know
1019anything about
1020that little deal.
1021
1022215
102300:11:41,625 --> 00:11:43,624
1024Could always make it appear
1025that he did.
1026
1027216
102800:11:43,625 --> 00:11:45,416
1029A little fiddling
1030with the records,
1031
1032217
103300:11:45,417 --> 00:11:47,958
1034some judicious rewriting
1035of history.
1036
1037218
103800:11:47,959 --> 00:11:50,624
1039Oh, I don't know, Carl.
1040That's tricky stuff.
1041
1042219
104300:11:50,625 --> 00:11:51,999
1044You know, you get into
1045that kind of thing,
1046
1047220
104800:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,833
1049you open up
1050a whole new bag of cats.
1051
1052221
105300:11:53,834 --> 00:11:56,457
1054My honest opinion,
1055if this matter isn't taken
1056care of immediately,
1057
1058222
105900:11:56,458 --> 00:12:00,457
1060no less than the presidency
1061is at stake, sir.
1062
1063223
106400:12:00,458 --> 00:12:02,290
1065Don't worry, sir.
1066
1067224
106800:12:02,291 --> 00:12:04,771
1069I think I can promise
1070you this is the last
1071you'll hear about it.
1072
1073225
107400:12:04,834 --> 00:12:05,834
1075Hear about what?
1076
1077226
107800:12:10,291 --> 00:12:14,165
1079Mrs. Sherman has told me that
1080Charlie had a favorite song.
1081
1082227
108300:12:14,166 --> 00:12:16,499
1084One that always cheered him
1085when he was down.
1086
1087228
108800:12:16,500 --> 00:12:18,582
1089Please, God,
1090don't let him quote lyrics.
1091
1092229
109300:12:18,583 --> 00:12:20,624
1094And I can't think
1095of anything more fitting
1096
1097230
109800:12:20,625 --> 00:12:23,958
1099than to share with you
1100the words from that song now.
1101
1102231
110300:12:23,959 --> 00:12:25,125
1104Oh, Christ.
1105
1106232
110700:12:25,708 --> 00:12:26,916
1108(SIGHS)
1109
1110233
111100:12:26,917 --> 00:12:28,999
1112Muskrat Susie...
1113
1114234
111500:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,624
1116Muskrat Sam...
1117
1118235
111900:12:30,625 --> 00:12:33,041
1120Do the jitterbug
1121out in muskrat land.
1122
1123236
112400:12:33,834 --> 00:12:35,667
1125And they shimmy.
1126
1127237
112800:12:38,208 --> 00:12:39,999
1129And Sammy's so skinny.
1130
1131238
113200:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,375
1133Oy.
1134
1135239
113600:12:48,333 --> 00:12:51,208
1137(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
1138
1139240
114000:13:00,625 --> 00:13:01,916
1141Mr. President, hello.
1142
1143241
114400:13:01,917 --> 00:13:03,374
1145Kaye!
1146
1147242
114800:13:03,375 --> 00:13:05,833
1149What a lovely surprise.
1150
1151243
115200:13:05,834 --> 00:13:08,666
1153And how is my favorite
1154television news person?
1155
1156244
115700:13:08,667 --> 00:13:10,165
1158Oh, I'm
1159your favorite?
1160
1161245
116200:13:10,166 --> 00:13:11,833
1163I thought Diane Sawyer
1164was your favorite.
1165
1166246
116700:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,166
1168She is. How is she?
1169
1170247
117100:13:13,875 --> 00:13:14,999
1172(CHUCKLES)
1173
1174248
117500:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,417
1176Rumor has it a major scandal
1177is about to blow.
1178
1179249
118000:13:18,375 --> 00:13:20,207
1181And it may involve you.
1182
1183250
118400:13:20,208 --> 00:13:21,916
1185Oh, not me, Kaye.
1186
1187251
118800:13:21,917 --> 00:13:24,165
1189My nose is clean.
1190
1191252
119200:13:24,166 --> 00:13:26,290
1193What I'm hearing is
1194that your last year in office
1195
1196253
119700:13:26,291 --> 00:13:29,207
1198you took a very generous,
1199let's call it a fee,
1200
1201254
120200:13:29,208 --> 00:13:31,040
1203for delivering
1204a big defense contract.
1205
1206255
120700:13:31,041 --> 00:13:34,040
1208I'm just looking
1209for a confirmation on that.
1210
1211256
121200:13:34,041 --> 00:13:36,875
1213Are you saying
1214that I took a k...
1215A kickback?
1216
1217257
121800:13:39,792 --> 00:13:42,249
1219Excuse me, Matt.
1220You got a minute?
1221Sure, Joe.
1222
1223258
122400:13:42,250 --> 00:13:45,207
1225Looks like Haney's involved
1226in this Kramer kickback story,
1227
1228259
122900:13:45,208 --> 00:13:47,999
1230but there's a defense
1231contractor who's
1232prepared to say
1233
1234260
123500:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,707
1236that Kramer's the guy
1237he paid off.
1238
1239261
124000:13:49,708 --> 00:13:52,082
1241Kramer? Then that's that.
1242Cased closed.
1243
1244262
124500:13:52,083 --> 00:13:55,249
1246No, it's not. Our sources
1247tell us that Haney's
1248shifting the blame.
1249
1250263
125100:13:55,250 --> 00:13:58,124
1252Word is it was done over lunch
1253in the Oval Office.
1254
1255264
125600:13:58,125 --> 00:14:00,749
1257Oh, really?
1258Just you and the contractor.
1259Very cozy.
1260
1261265
126200:14:00,750 --> 00:14:02,666
1263Who is this contractor?
1264
1265266
126600:14:02,667 --> 00:14:04,582
1267The contractor's
1268Charlie Reynolds.
1269
1270267
127100:14:04,583 --> 00:14:07,374
1272Oh, you're kidding.
1273Charlie?
1274Charlie.
1275
1276268
127700:14:07,375 --> 00:14:10,082
1278Now, Mr. President, you
1279know I would tell you
1280the name of the contractor
1281
1282269
128300:14:10,083 --> 00:14:12,290
1284if I was your favorite
1285television news person,
1286
1287270
128800:14:12,291 --> 00:14:13,958
1289but since I'm not...
1290
1291271
129200:14:13,959 --> 00:14:15,583
1293Take care.
1294
1295272
129600:14:18,417 --> 00:14:19,916
1297Margaret,
1298did you hear that?
1299
1300273
130100:14:19,917 --> 00:14:22,582
1302Yeah, I did. It's a crock,
1303and we both know it.
1304
1305274
130600:14:22,583 --> 00:14:25,916
1307It's a kick in the balls.
1308Sorry, sweetheart.
1309
1310275
131100:14:25,917 --> 00:14:28,958
1312Please, I'm a
1313politician's wife.
1314I have a set of my own.
1315
1316276
131700:14:28,959 --> 00:14:30,958
1318Look, I know you and Charlie
1319were friends,
1320
1321277
132200:14:30,959 --> 00:14:32,290
1323but the poor bastard's
1324in over his head.
1325
1326278
132700:14:32,291 --> 00:14:35,416
1328Now, you're going
1329to Washington for that
1330book convention, right?
1331
1332279
133300:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,457
1334I think it would be
1335a great time for you to stop
1336
1337280
133800:14:37,458 --> 00:14:38,958
1339and see your old friend
1340and talk to him.
1341
1342281
134300:14:38,959 --> 00:14:40,666
1344Yeah, well,
1345I'd like to help you, Joe,
1346
1347282
134800:14:40,667 --> 00:14:42,457
1349but I'm not getting involved.
1350
1351283
135200:14:42,458 --> 00:14:44,457
1353Matt,
1354if you do this for us,
1355
1356284
135700:14:44,458 --> 00:14:46,290
1358the party'd
1359be extremely grateful.
1360
1361285
136200:14:46,291 --> 00:14:49,332
1363We both know you want another
1364crack at that Oval Office.
1365
1366286
136700:14:49,333 --> 00:14:51,958
1368Hold on. I told you I was
1369thinking about running again.
1370
1371287
137200:14:51,959 --> 00:14:53,290
1373Just thinking.
1374
1375288
137600:14:53,291 --> 00:14:56,207
1377Besides, the party wouldn't
1378back me again. They wouldn't.
1379
1380289
138100:14:56,208 --> 00:14:57,958
1382Would they?
1383
1384290
138500:14:57,959 --> 00:15:00,207
1386Of course they would.
1387I'm the Democratic chairman.
1388
1389291
139000:15:00,208 --> 00:15:01,749
1391We need your help.
1392
1393292
139400:15:01,750 --> 00:15:04,457
1395And if you're seriously
1396considering running again,
1397
1398293
139900:15:04,458 --> 00:15:06,374
1400you're gonna need ours.
1401
1402294
140300:15:06,375 --> 00:15:08,165
1404When was this supposed to
1405have taken place?
1406
1407295
140800:15:08,166 --> 00:15:10,082
1409It was seven years ago.
1410
1411296
141200:15:10,083 --> 00:15:12,499
1413I don't understand it.
1414I mean, why me and why now?
1415
1416297
141700:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,624
1418Who stands to benefit
1419from framing me?
1420
1421298
142200:15:14,625 --> 00:15:15,625
1423MAN: Ladies and gentlemen,
1424
1425299
142600:15:15,626 --> 00:15:17,333
1427the President
1428of the United States.
1429
1430300
143100:15:34,875 --> 00:15:37,165
1432I've been thinking
1433about your offer, Joe.
1434
1435301
143600:15:37,166 --> 00:15:39,707
1437Not that I'd ever run again,
1438but do you really think
1439
1440302
144100:15:39,708 --> 00:15:42,999
1442the party would back me
1443if I helped out?
1444
1445303
144600:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,791
1447(CHUCKLES) It's already
1448been discussed, Mr. President.
1449
1450304
145100:15:46,792 --> 00:15:47,999
1452Really?
1453
1454305
145500:15:48,000 --> 00:15:52,166
1456Now that I think of it,
1457there is an
1458extra bonus to this.
1459
1460306
146100:15:54,500 --> 00:15:57,582
1462Maybe to get
1463the son of a bitch I hate
1464
1465307
146600:15:57,583 --> 00:16:00,375
1467and the son of a bitch
1468I really hate...
1469
1470308
147100:16:03,917 --> 00:16:04,917
1472I'll do it.
1473
1474309
147500:16:10,083 --> 00:16:12,749
1476Just get me the name
1477of that contractor.
1478
1479310
148000:16:12,750 --> 00:16:14,499
1481You got to dig that up for me,
1482Caldwell.
1483
1484311
148500:16:14,500 --> 00:16:17,290
1486I'll get right on it, sir.
1487
1488312
148900:16:17,291 --> 00:16:20,874
1490Sir, we agreed the zipper
1491would be in the up position.
1492
1493313
149400:16:20,875 --> 00:16:22,875
1495It's part of the deal, sir.
1496
1497314
149800:16:24,708 --> 00:16:25,791
1499I wonder what they'd pay me
1500
1501315
150200:16:25,792 --> 00:16:28,249
1503if I tattooed their damn logo
1504across my ass.
1505
1506316
150700:16:28,250 --> 00:16:29,707
1508I could ask.
1509
1510317
151100:16:29,708 --> 00:16:30,750
1512Just drive the cart!
1513Yes.
1514
1515318
151600:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,125
1517Yes!
1518
1519319
152000:16:45,083 --> 00:16:47,457
1521You know,
1522I've actually thought about
1523playing professionally.
1524
1525320
152600:16:47,458 --> 00:16:49,916
1527Ah, well, gee, I don't know
1528about that, Bill.
1529
1530321
153100:16:49,917 --> 00:16:51,416
1532I think that the ladies tour
1533
1534322
153500:16:51,417 --> 00:16:53,377
1536likes their players
1537to be a little more masculine.
1538
1539323
154000:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,458
1541Ah!
1542
1543324
154400:17:10,417 --> 00:17:11,541
1545(GIGGLES)
1546
1547325
154800:17:11,542 --> 00:17:12,917
1549Hold this, Russ.
1550
1551326
155200:17:16,333 --> 00:17:19,707
1553(CROWD GASPING)
1554
1555327
155600:17:19,708 --> 00:17:22,207
1557Thank you, Russ.
1558That's for you.
1559
1560328
156100:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,291
1562You son of a...
1563
1564329
156500:17:39,375 --> 00:17:40,583
1566MAN: Ohh!
1567
1568330
156900:17:42,959 --> 00:17:45,165
1570I'm so sorry,
1571and I'm so embarrassed,
1572
1573331
157400:17:45,166 --> 00:17:48,666
1575and I hope that this
1576doesn't scare you
1577away from golf
1578
1579332
158000:17:48,667 --> 00:17:50,874
1581because
1582it's such a great sport.
1583
1584333
158500:17:50,875 --> 00:17:53,541
1586I know your people,
1587the black people,
1588
1589334
159000:17:53,542 --> 00:17:55,165
1591don't really enjoy the game.
1592
1593335
159400:17:55,166 --> 00:17:57,624
1595But I think that's because
1596you can't get
1597into the nice clubs.
1598
1599336
160000:17:57,625 --> 00:17:59,457
1601The restricted ones.
1602
1603337
160400:17:59,458 --> 00:18:01,999
1605And on the other hand,
1606your people are so good
1607at so many sports
1608
1609338
161000:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,749
1611that maybe it's good
1612that we white folk
1613
1614339
161500:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,207
1616have a sport you guys
1617are not so good at.
1618
1619340
162000:18:06,208 --> 00:18:08,541
1621Mr. Vice President, this way.
1622Is there a problem?
1623
1624341
162500:18:08,542 --> 00:18:11,499
1626There'll be less of one
1627if you step this way.
1628Okay. So long.
1629
1630342
163100:18:11,500 --> 00:18:13,000
1632Oh, man,
1633I'm getting a cramp.
1634
1635343
163600:18:17,417 --> 00:18:19,332
1637Interesting game
1638we got here.
1639
1640344
164100:18:19,333 --> 00:18:21,416
1642You're playing pretty tough,
1643Bill.
1644
1645345
164600:18:21,417 --> 00:18:23,165
1647Tough enough to win,
1648I hope.
1649
1650346
165100:18:23,166 --> 00:18:24,999
1652Yeah. Maybe.
1653
1654347
165500:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,500
1656But you never know when
1657you're gonna get stuck
1658with a bad lie.
1659
1660348
166100:18:31,208 --> 00:18:33,624
1662(CROWD GASPS)
1663
1664349
166500:18:33,625 --> 00:18:37,374
1666(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
1667
1668350
166900:18:37,375 --> 00:18:40,916
1670Watch out. Here comes Douglas
1671fighting back from behind.
1672
1673351
167400:18:40,917 --> 00:18:43,541
1675Too little too late.
1676You're never gonna catch us.
1677
1678352
167900:18:43,542 --> 00:18:45,792
1680No, but I'm pretty sure
1681I'll catch one of you.
1682
1683353
168400:18:51,375 --> 00:18:52,333
1685KRAMER: Yes.
1686
1687354
168800:18:52,334 --> 00:18:54,207
1689Yes.
1690
1691355
169200:18:54,208 --> 00:18:57,249
1693Yes, excellent work, Caldwell.
1694I'll be in touch. Bye-bye.
1695
1696356
169700:18:57,250 --> 00:18:59,499
1698So what did he find?
1699It's Charlie Reynolds.
1700
1701357
170200:18:59,500 --> 00:19:02,749
1703He's the friggin' contractor
1704who says I took that kickback.
1705
1706358
170700:19:02,750 --> 00:19:04,374
1708Don't say "frigging," Russ.
1709
1710359
171100:19:04,375 --> 00:19:06,374
1712If you have to
1713use the "f" word,
1714go for the gold.
1715
1716360
171700:19:06,375 --> 00:19:07,874
1718Now why would he
1719say such a thing?
1720
1721361
172200:19:07,875 --> 00:19:09,874
1723I think
1724he's covering for Haney.
1725
1726362
172700:19:09,875 --> 00:19:12,374
1728It's Haney's mess, but now
1729he's shifting the stink to me.
1730
1731363
173200:19:12,375 --> 00:19:14,541
1733I didn't think
1734he was that smart.
1735
1736364
173700:19:14,542 --> 00:19:16,499
1738He learned from the master.
1739
1740365
174100:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,457
1742I met Reynolds once.
1743
1744366
174500:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,499
1746Haney brought him in to
1747the office for lunch,
1748but nothing much happened.
1749
1750367
175100:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,332
1752As I remember,
1753
1754368
175500:19:22,333 --> 00:19:24,749
1756we sat around talking
1757about golf most of the time.
1758
1759369
176000:19:24,750 --> 00:19:27,457
1761Now Reynolds is getting ready
1762to release an affidavit
1763
1764370
176500:19:27,458 --> 00:19:29,750
1766saying that at that meeting
1767he was alone with me.
1768
1769371
177000:19:31,250 --> 00:19:33,207
1771Don't do that with the liquor,
1772Russ.
1773
1774372
177500:19:33,208 --> 00:19:34,792
1776It's so George Bush.
1777
1778373
177900:19:38,208 --> 00:19:40,707
1780Hey, wait a minute.
1781Yeah, wait a minute.
1782
1783374
178400:19:40,708 --> 00:19:43,290
1785If the meeting took place
1786in the Oval Office,
1787
1788375
178900:19:43,291 --> 00:19:46,624
1790then there has to be a record
1791of it in the appointment log
1792
1793376
179400:19:46,625 --> 00:19:48,082
1795naming everybody present.
1796
1797377
179800:19:48,083 --> 00:19:49,541
1799Well, this is easy.
1800
1801378
180200:19:49,542 --> 00:19:51,541
1803I send Caldwell down
1804to the national archives
1805
1806379
180700:19:51,542 --> 00:19:54,791
1808and get some hard evidence
1809that I can shove right
1810in Reynolds' face.
1811
1812380
181300:19:54,792 --> 00:19:56,416
1814Well done, dear.
1815
1816381
181700:19:56,417 --> 00:19:58,749
1818Now, before we check out,
1819do you want me to steal
1820
1821382
182200:19:58,750 --> 00:20:00,707
1823all the little shampoos
1824and conditioners?
1825
1826383
182700:20:00,708 --> 00:20:04,416
1828Oh, God, Margaret.
1829Come on, now, please.
1830
1831384
183200:20:04,417 --> 00:20:05,917
1833I already got them.
1834
1835385
183600:20:15,792 --> 00:20:17,457
1837What do you mean
1838it's not there?
1839
1840386
184100:20:17,458 --> 00:20:20,207
1842Sir, I have
1843the appointment log
1844right in front of me.
1845
1846387
184700:20:20,208 --> 00:20:23,124
1848I see your name,
1849Charles Reynolds' name,
1850
1851388
185200:20:23,125 --> 00:20:27,290
1853and at the bottom, the word
1854"Olympia" circled in red.
1855
1856389
185700:20:27,291 --> 00:20:28,624
1858Sir?
1859
1860390
186100:20:28,625 --> 00:20:29,625
1862Sir?
1863
1864391
186500:20:34,959 --> 00:20:36,082
1866KRAMER:
1867Don't be a moron, Charlie!
1868
1869392
187000:20:36,083 --> 00:20:38,207
1871You're saying
1872you offered me a kickback
1873
1874393
187500:20:38,208 --> 00:20:39,290
1876right there
1877in the Oval Office,
1878
1879394
188000:20:39,291 --> 00:20:42,165
1881and I took it?
1882That's how I remember it, sir.
1883
1884395
188500:20:42,166 --> 00:20:45,290
1886As I recall,
1887just the two of us were there.
1888
1889396
189000:20:45,291 --> 00:20:47,416
1891And you were very pleased
1892about the deal.
1893
1894397
189500:20:47,417 --> 00:20:50,165
1896Wait a minute. Just the two of
1897us? Are you sure about that?
1898
1899398
190000:20:50,166 --> 00:20:52,374
1901Mr president, I don't
1902believe we have anything
1903further to discuss.
1904
1905399
190600:20:52,375 --> 00:20:54,666
1907Oh, yes. We have lots
1908to discuss, Chuckie.
1909
1910400
191100:20:54,667 --> 00:20:57,040
1912How's this for openers,
1913you and your buddies
1914
1915401
191600:20:57,041 --> 00:21:00,499
1917tampering with official
1918documents in the
1919national archives?
1920
1921402
192200:21:00,500 --> 00:21:03,582
1923That's gonna be kind of
1924hard to explain when you
1925get subpoenaed, isn't it?
1926
1927403
192800:21:03,583 --> 00:21:05,040
1929I'm sorry, sir.
1930
1931404
193200:21:05,041 --> 00:21:07,457
1933I have no idea
1934what you're talking about.
1935
1936405
193700:21:07,458 --> 00:21:11,499
1938I'm going to have to stand
1939by my original statement.
1940
1941406
194200:21:11,500 --> 00:21:13,291
1943Well, you're gonna
1944stand alone, buster.
1945
1946407
194700:21:20,500 --> 00:21:22,332
1948Let's go, Bruce.
1949It's Jim, sir.
1950
1951408
195200:21:22,333 --> 00:21:24,624
1953Yeah, yeah.
1954You're black, you're tall.
1955
1956409
195700:21:24,625 --> 00:21:26,041
1958Whoop-dee-friggin'-doo.
1959Let's go.
1960
1961410
196200:21:33,333 --> 00:21:35,999
1963Mr. Reynolds,
1964the president is here.
1965
1966411
196700:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,624
1968He just left.
1969
1970412
197100:21:37,625 --> 00:21:38,875
1972No, another one.
1973
1974413
197500:21:39,625 --> 00:21:41,416
1976Charlie, old buddy.
1977
1978414
197900:21:41,417 --> 00:21:42,749
1980Matt?
1981
1982415
198300:21:42,750 --> 00:21:43,958
1984What do you say
1985we take a walk,
1986
1987416
198800:21:43,959 --> 00:21:45,375
1989talk about old times.
1990
1991417
199200:21:46,959 --> 00:21:48,041
1993(THUNDER RUMBLES)
1994
1995418
199600:21:49,041 --> 00:21:50,749
1997I assure you, Matt,
1998
1999419
200000:21:50,750 --> 00:21:52,874
2001the arrangement was made
2002with President Kramer
2003
2004420
200500:21:52,875 --> 00:21:54,541
2006and President Kramer alone.
2007
2008421
200900:21:54,542 --> 00:21:56,749
2010Charlie, we're friends.
2011I want to believe you.
2012
2013422
201400:21:56,750 --> 00:21:59,207
2015But there are people
2016who say it wasn't that way.
2017
2018423
201900:21:59,208 --> 00:22:02,249
2020Now, this is turning
2021into a huge political bomb.
2022
2023424
202400:22:02,250 --> 00:22:04,874
2025Not that I mind,
2026'cause when it blows,
2027
2028425
202900:22:04,875 --> 00:22:06,499
2030my party's going to begin.
2031
2032426
203300:22:06,500 --> 00:22:11,082
2034Look, Haney, Kramer,
2035one of them is going down.
2036
2037427
203800:22:11,083 --> 00:22:14,666
2039Now, the Democrats
2040can offer you immunity
2041if you give us a name.
2042
2043428
204400:22:14,667 --> 00:22:17,124
2045Now, come on, Charlie,
2046who took the kickback?
2047
2048429
204900:22:17,125 --> 00:22:18,582
2050Now, please,
2051tell me it's Kramer.
2052
2053430
205400:22:18,583 --> 00:22:20,624
2055If it is, I'll give you
2056a big kiss on the lips.
2057
2058431
205900:22:20,625 --> 00:22:21,825
2060Tongue, no tongue,
2061your choice.
2062
2063432
206400:22:25,417 --> 00:22:29,082
2065REYNOLDS: Carl,
2066I'm in a very tough spot here.
2067
2068433
206900:22:29,083 --> 00:22:31,541
2070I know, Charlie, but there's
2071nothing to worry about.
2072
2073434
207400:22:31,542 --> 00:22:32,874
2075Just hang tight.
2076
2077435
207800:22:32,875 --> 00:22:34,999
2079They came to my office
2080yesterday, Carl.
2081
2082436
208300:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,958
2084They came
2085to my place of business.
2086
2087437
208800:22:36,959 --> 00:22:39,916
2089Now, look,
2090I know we have a deal,
2091
2092438
209300:22:39,917 --> 00:22:41,916
2094but if I knew
2095this was going
2096to be happening,
2097
2098439
209900:22:41,917 --> 00:22:43,082
2100I wouldn't have signed on.
2101
2102440
210300:22:43,083 --> 00:22:44,874
2104Just be calm
2105and know that you have
2106
2107441
210800:22:44,875 --> 00:22:47,082
2109the full power
2110of the White House behind you.
2111
2112442
211300:22:47,083 --> 00:22:48,624
2114Okay?
2115I'll be in touch.
2116
2117443
211800:22:48,625 --> 00:22:49,917
2119(TELEPHONE CLICKS)
2120
2121444
212200:22:51,208 --> 00:22:52,458
2123Reynolds sounds shaky.
2124
2125445
212600:22:54,750 --> 00:22:57,350
2127I better get over there
2128and give our friend a little
2129moral support.
2130
2131446
213200:22:59,291 --> 00:23:01,499
2133(WHISTLE BLOWS)
2134
2135447
213600:23:01,500 --> 00:23:05,125
2137(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
2138
2139448
214000:23:07,708 --> 00:23:10,207
2141Okay, folks. Please step back.
2142Form a line.
2143
2144449
214500:23:10,208 --> 00:23:12,749
2146Thank you.
2147Everyone will get
2148an autograph.
2149
2150450
215100:23:12,750 --> 00:23:15,374
2152A cookbook.
2153He wrote a cookbook!
2154How dare he?
2155
2156451
215700:23:15,375 --> 00:23:16,791
2158Well, you know,
2159when he was president,
2160
2161452
216200:23:16,792 --> 00:23:18,416
2163he did cook for his
2164guests all the time.
2165That's not the point.
2166
2167453
216800:23:18,417 --> 00:23:21,666
2169Did George Washington
2170write a book called Your
2171Wooden Teeth and You?
2172
2173454
217400:23:21,667 --> 00:23:24,499
2175Did William Howard Taft write
217630 Days to a Slimmer Ass?
2177
2178455
217900:23:24,500 --> 00:23:26,082
2180It's shameful, just shameful!
2181
2182456
218300:23:26,083 --> 00:23:27,290
2184Mr. President!
2185
2186457
218700:23:27,291 --> 00:23:29,417
2188Oh, yeah.
2189It's okay, Chet.
2190
2191458
219200:23:31,250 --> 00:23:33,290
2193Sir, Mr. Reynolds
2194would appreciate
2195
2196459
219700:23:33,291 --> 00:23:34,611
2198you signing this
2199for his daughter.
2200
2201460
220200:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,124
2203Charlie?
2204
2205461
220600:23:36,125 --> 00:23:37,125
2207Yes, sir.
2208
2209462
221000:23:44,667 --> 00:23:46,000
2211Be glad to.
2212
2213463
221400:23:47,625 --> 00:23:49,040
2215There you go.
2216
2217464
221800:23:49,041 --> 00:23:50,333
2219This will make him very happy.
2220
2221465
222200:23:54,208 --> 00:23:58,207
2223President Douglas, here's that
2224turkey and Swiss you ordered.
2225
2226466
222700:23:58,208 --> 00:24:00,166
2228Uh, just one moment.
2229
2230467
223100:24:02,417 --> 00:24:04,249
2232Uh, Chet.
2233
2234468
223500:24:04,250 --> 00:24:05,708
2236Chet, could you...
2237
2238469
223900:24:07,333 --> 00:24:09,166
2240I didn't order a sandwich.
2241
2242470
224300:24:10,208 --> 00:24:11,624
2244Yes, sir.
2245
2246471
224700:24:11,625 --> 00:24:12,833
2248Sandwich boy.
2249
2250472
225100:24:12,834 --> 00:24:14,374
2252Come with us, sir.
2253
2254473
225500:24:14,375 --> 00:24:15,916
2256Drop the bag, please.
2257
2258474
225900:24:15,917 --> 00:24:17,707
2260Hands behind your back.
2261What did I do?
2262
2263475
226400:24:17,708 --> 00:24:19,207
2265Do not move.
2266He said turkey and swiss!
2267
2268476
226900:24:19,208 --> 00:24:20,916
2270MAN: What's in the bag, son?
2271A sandwich!
2272
2273477
227400:24:20,917 --> 00:24:22,500
2275(CROWD MURMURING)
2276
2277478
227800:24:51,208 --> 00:24:53,875
2279(HORN BLARES)
2280
2281479
228200:25:04,208 --> 00:25:05,749
2283You made the right choice,
2284Charlie.
2285
2286480
228700:25:05,750 --> 00:25:07,417
2288I hope so, Matt.
2289Get in.
2290
2291481
229200:25:08,291 --> 00:25:09,583
2293President Douglas!
2294
2295482
229600:25:14,041 --> 00:25:16,290
2297It's my duty to officially
2298serve you with this subpoena.
2299
2300483
230100:25:16,291 --> 00:25:18,125
2302Oh, God!
2303Did you have to do that?
2304
2305484
230600:25:19,583 --> 00:25:20,750
2307I've always admired you, sir.
2308
2309485
231000:25:21,458 --> 00:25:23,082
2311(GROANS)
2312
2313486
231400:25:23,083 --> 00:25:24,125
2315What the hell?
2316
2317487
231800:25:25,208 --> 00:25:27,707
2319Aw, my ex-wife.
2320
2321488
232200:25:27,708 --> 00:25:29,416
2323Damn.
2324
2325489
232600:25:29,417 --> 00:25:31,624
2327Don't ever get a divorce,
2328Charlie.
2329
2330490
233100:25:31,625 --> 00:25:34,416
2332I swear, half the time,
2333
2334491
233500:25:34,417 --> 00:25:37,250
2336I wish somebody'd
2337just walk up and shoot me.
2338
2339492
234000:25:38,792 --> 00:25:40,457
2341Oh, my God!
2342
2343493
234400:25:40,458 --> 00:25:42,125
2345Hey, what the hell
2346are you doing here?
2347
2348494
234900:25:44,458 --> 00:25:45,666
2350Hey, what's going on,
2351Douglas?
2352
2353495
235400:25:45,667 --> 00:25:47,457
2355What are you...
2356Oh, my God.
2357
2358496
235900:25:47,458 --> 00:25:48,624
2360He's dead.
2361
2362497
236300:25:48,625 --> 00:25:50,791
2364Oh, my God!
2365Hey, what the hell...
2366
2367498
236800:25:50,792 --> 00:25:52,499
2369Shut up, Kramer.
2370Don't make a scene.
2371
2372499
237300:25:52,500 --> 00:25:54,791
2374What did you do?
2375Oh, what did I do?
2376
2377500
237800:25:54,792 --> 00:25:56,791
2379Right, you caught me.
2380We got into a huge argument
2381
2382501
238300:25:56,792 --> 00:25:58,374
2384about your cookbook,
2385so I plugged him.
2386
2387502
238800:25:58,375 --> 00:26:01,290
2389You got a problem
2390with my cookbook?
2391Kramer!
2392
2393503
239400:26:01,291 --> 00:26:04,165
2395We are two ex-presidents
2396of the United States inches
2397away from a dead man.
2398
2399504
240000:26:04,166 --> 00:26:05,707
2401This is not a good place
2402for us to be.
2403
2404505
240500:26:05,708 --> 00:26:07,290
2406What were you doing
2407with Reynolds?
2408
2409506
241000:26:07,291 --> 00:26:08,541
2411You know about Olympia,
2412don't you?
2413
2414507
241500:26:08,542 --> 00:26:09,791
2416I know about
2417the kickback you took.
2418
2419508
242000:26:09,792 --> 00:26:11,374
2421I didn't take any
2422damn kickback.
2423
2424509
242500:26:11,375 --> 00:26:13,290
2426And what business
2427is it of yours, anyway?
2428
2429510
243000:26:13,291 --> 00:26:14,791
2431Let's not discuss it here.
2432Where can we go and talk?
2433
2434511
243500:26:14,792 --> 00:26:17,000
2436I know. Follow me.
2437
2438512
243900:26:24,875 --> 00:26:27,625
2440(DOG BARKING)
2441
2442513
244300:26:31,667 --> 00:26:33,499
2444Douglas, for the last time,
2445
2446514
244700:26:33,500 --> 00:26:35,207
2448I'm telling you
2449everything I know,
2450
2451515
245200:26:35,208 --> 00:26:38,791
2453and I don't have the slightest
2454clue what the hell Olympia is.
2455
2456516
245700:26:38,792 --> 00:26:40,833
2458Excuse me, Dad, did you guys
2459want something to drink?
2460
2461517
246200:26:40,834 --> 00:26:42,666
2463Fruit juice for me, honey.
2464
2465518
246600:26:42,667 --> 00:26:45,582
2467I'd kill for a vodka tonic.
2468I'm sure we can swing that.
2469
2470519
247100:26:45,583 --> 00:26:48,290
2472I never touch alcohol.
2473Dulls the senses.
2474
2475520
247600:26:48,291 --> 00:26:49,375
2477You're so full of shit.
2478
2479521
248000:26:51,875 --> 00:26:53,332
2481Hi, there.
2482
2483522
248400:26:53,333 --> 00:26:54,333
2485We're talking big-people talk.
2486
2487523
248800:26:54,334 --> 00:26:56,040
2489You didn't hear that, did you?
2490
2491524
249200:26:56,041 --> 00:26:58,541
2493Here, here.
2494Money. That's for you.
2495
2496525
249700:26:58,542 --> 00:26:59,833
2498Thanks.
2499
2500526
250100:26:59,834 --> 00:27:01,666
2502Please don't do that!
2503Why not?
2504
2505527
250600:27:01,667 --> 00:27:03,667
2507I'm just showing your grandson
2508how you got elected.
2509
2510528
251100:27:04,875 --> 00:27:06,416
2512Grandpa, play with me.
2513
2514529
251500:27:06,417 --> 00:27:09,249
2516I can't right now, Davey,
2517but here.
2518
2519530
252000:27:09,250 --> 00:27:11,082
2521See, you take this
2522and run along.
2523Grandpa.
2524
2525531
252600:27:11,083 --> 00:27:12,582
2527Okay.
2528
2529532
253000:27:12,583 --> 00:27:15,040
2531Give me the gun.
2532Now, you go hide.
2533
2534533
253500:27:15,041 --> 00:27:18,082
2536I'll count down from 100
2537and then come find you, okay?
2538
2539534
254000:27:18,083 --> 00:27:19,041
2541Okay!
2542Skedaddle.
2543
2544535
254500:27:19,042 --> 00:27:20,290
2546100!
2547
2548536
254900:27:20,291 --> 00:27:22,207
255099!
2551
2552537
255300:27:22,208 --> 00:27:24,250
2554Nine... Okay, where were we?
2555
2556538
255700:27:27,750 --> 00:27:28,958
2558DOUGLAS: Well, I don't think
2559you had anything to do
2560
2561539
256200:27:28,959 --> 00:27:30,040
2563with Charlie's death,
2564but I'm pretty sure
2565
2566540
256700:27:30,041 --> 00:27:31,249
2568you're involved
2569in this mess somehow.
2570
2571541
257200:27:31,250 --> 00:27:33,999
2573KRAMER: I'm involved?
2574Well, what about you?
2575
2576542
257700:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,040
2578You were the one sitting
2579in the car next to a dead man.
2580
2581543
258200:27:36,041 --> 00:27:38,374
2583Well, now you know. I enjoy
2584spending time with dead men.
2585
2586544
258700:27:38,375 --> 00:27:40,040
2588You don't believe me?
2589Go ahead and die.
2590
2591545
259200:27:40,041 --> 00:27:42,082
2593It will perk me right up.
2594You...
2595
2596546
259700:27:42,083 --> 00:27:44,583
2598Daddy, there's someone here
2599to see you.
2600Huh?
2601
2602547
260300:27:46,333 --> 00:27:49,499
2604Good afternoon, sirs.
2605Colonel Paul Tanner, N.S.A.
2606
2607548
260800:27:49,500 --> 00:27:52,290
2609President Haney needs to
2610meet with the both of you
2611as quickly as possible.
2612
2613549
261400:27:52,291 --> 00:27:54,499
2615We have transportation
2616to Camp David on the way.
2617
2618550
261900:27:54,500 --> 00:27:57,374
2620Yeah, but, Colonel,
2621how did you find us here?
2622
2623551
262400:27:57,375 --> 00:28:00,290
2625We know where you are
2626at all times, sir.
2627
2628552
262900:28:00,291 --> 00:28:01,750
2630That's our business.
2631
2632553
263300:28:37,166 --> 00:28:39,249
2634Major, is there a problem?
2635
2636554
263700:28:39,250 --> 00:28:41,916
2638I don't remember the flight
2639to Camp David
2640taking this long.
2641
2642555
264300:28:41,917 --> 00:28:44,457
2644Mr. President, I'm sorry.
2645My orders didn't mention
2646Camp David.
2647
2648556
264900:28:44,458 --> 00:28:47,457
2650We were told we were going
2651to Camp David to meet
2652with President Haney.
2653
2654557
265500:28:47,458 --> 00:28:49,978
2656Sir, as far as I know,
2657President Haney's back
2658at the White House.
2659
2660558
266100:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,040
2662Something's wrong.
2663
2664559
266500:28:53,041 --> 00:28:54,416
2666Oh, swell. Now what?
2667
2668560
266900:28:54,417 --> 00:28:55,916
2670Haney's back in Washington.
2671
2672561
267300:28:55,917 --> 00:28:58,332
2674They're taking us
2675out to the middle of nowhere.
2676
2677562
267800:28:58,333 --> 00:29:00,999
2679Oh, that duplicitous
2680little turd.
2681
2682563
268300:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,999
2684DOUGLAS: Major,
2685I want to speak to
2686the White House immediately.
2687
2688564
268900:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,124
2690I'm sorry, sir. I've
2691been instructed to
2692maintain radio silence.
2693
2694565
269500:29:06,125 --> 00:29:08,207
2696Then put this bird
2697on the ground right now
2698
2699566
270000:29:08,208 --> 00:29:10,207
2701and that's an order!
2702
2703567
270400:29:10,208 --> 00:29:12,568
2705Respectfully, sir,
2706I can't do that.
2707My orders are classified.
2708
2709568
271000:29:14,166 --> 00:29:16,499
2711All right, major,
2712you land this contraption
2713
2714569
271500:29:16,500 --> 00:29:18,666
2716or I'll blow
2717your friggin' head off!
2718
2719570
272000:29:18,667 --> 00:29:19,834
2721(WATER SWISHES)
2722
2723571
272400:29:28,667 --> 00:29:32,499
2725You gentlemen said you wanted
2726to maintain radio silence.
2727
2728572
272900:29:32,500 --> 00:29:34,499
2730Douglas!
2731What the hell?
2732
2733573
273400:29:34,500 --> 00:29:37,290
2735You don't shoot a gun off
2736in a confined area!
2737
2738574
273900:29:37,291 --> 00:29:39,374
2740Are you trying to
2741deafen us all?
2742Just get out of the chopper.
2743
2744575
274500:29:39,375 --> 00:29:41,499
2746What?
2747Get out of the chopper!
2748
2749576
275000:29:41,500 --> 00:29:42,791
2751The crops?
2752
2753577
275400:29:42,792 --> 00:29:43,834
2755Get out!
2756
2757578
275800:29:52,667 --> 00:29:54,499
2759What do we do now?
2760
2761579
276200:29:54,500 --> 00:29:58,249
2763I don't know.
2764It's our butts if we
2765let them out of our sight.
2766
2767580
276800:29:58,250 --> 00:30:00,541
2769If I have to get
2770a hearing aid after this,
2771
2772581
277300:30:00,542 --> 00:30:02,457
2774don't be surprised
2775when I send you the bill.
2776
2777582
277800:30:02,458 --> 00:30:04,374
2779If I have to listen
2780to you bitch,
2781
2782583
278300:30:04,375 --> 00:30:06,874
2784don't be surprised
2785when I beat you
2786to death with my shoe!
2787
2788584
278900:30:06,875 --> 00:30:09,082
2790Oh, yeah? Now what the hell
2791are they doing?
2792
2793585
279400:30:09,083 --> 00:30:10,541
2795Get out of here!
2796Get out!
2797
2798586
279900:30:10,542 --> 00:30:13,165
2800Go on! Get going!
2801Shoo! Shoo!
2802
2803587
280400:30:13,166 --> 00:30:14,791
2805DOUGLAS: Gee,
2806they're not leaving, Russell.
2807
2808588
280900:30:14,792 --> 00:30:16,541
2810Maybe if you make
2811a scary face.
2812
2813589
281400:30:16,542 --> 00:30:18,249
2815Wait a minute, Einstein.
2816
2817590
281800:30:18,250 --> 00:30:20,874
2819Do you know we never had
2820to leave the chopper?
2821
2822591
282300:30:20,875 --> 00:30:22,499
2824You've got their gun.
2825
2826592
282700:30:22,500 --> 00:30:24,416
2828We could've made them
2829take us back to Washington.
2830
2831593
283200:30:24,417 --> 00:30:25,833
2833Now you figure that out!
2834
2835594
283600:30:25,834 --> 00:30:28,165
2837Well, as usual, the Republican
2838comes up with a plan
2839
2840595
284100:30:28,166 --> 00:30:30,999
2842while the Democrat
2843just aimlessly wanders
2844in the woods.
2845
2846596
284700:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,666
2848Just shut up
2849and flag them down.
2850
2851597
285200:30:32,667 --> 00:30:34,416
2853All right.
2854Come on down.
2855
2856598
285700:30:34,417 --> 00:30:35,999
2858Bring it down.
2859
2860599
286100:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,417
2862Bring it down!
2863
2864600
286500:30:58,375 --> 00:30:59,542
2866They're down.
2867
2868601
286900:31:07,125 --> 00:31:09,583
2870(INSECTS CHIRPING,
2871ANIMALS HOWLING)
2872
2873602
287400:31:15,041 --> 00:31:17,124
2875KRAMER: I don't believe this.
2876It's madness!
2877
2878603
287900:31:17,125 --> 00:31:19,332
2880And you know what
2881really gives me the red ass?
2882
2883604
288400:31:19,333 --> 00:31:20,416
2885DOUGLAS: The red ass?
2886
2887605
288800:31:20,417 --> 00:31:22,290
2889Haney's behind
2890the whole thing.
2891
2892606
289300:31:22,291 --> 00:31:24,124
2894Well, damn it,
2895he's not gonna
2896get away with it.
2897
2898607
289900:31:24,125 --> 00:31:25,666
2900We'll go public.
2901
2902608
290300:31:25,667 --> 00:31:28,624
2904I'm gonna call Kaye Griffin,
2905we'll go on TV,
2906
2907609
290800:31:28,625 --> 00:31:30,290
2909and we'll tell them
2910about Reynolds' murder
2911
2912610
291300:31:30,291 --> 00:31:31,791
2914and the helicopter explosion.
2915
2916611
291700:31:31,792 --> 00:31:33,165
2918Are you crazy?
2919
2920612
292100:31:33,166 --> 00:31:35,040
2922We can't go public
2923without evidence!
2924
2925613
292600:31:35,041 --> 00:31:36,624
2927We'll look like
2928a couple of morons!
2929
2930614
293100:31:36,625 --> 00:31:38,707
2932The people will believe us!
2933Why?
2934
2935615
293600:31:38,708 --> 00:31:40,000
2937Because we're presidents.
2938
2939616
294000:31:42,750 --> 00:31:44,457
2941Okay, they won't believe us.
2942
2943617
294400:31:44,458 --> 00:31:47,000
2945What the hell
2946are we supposed to do now?
2947I don't know.
2948
2949618
295000:31:50,625 --> 00:31:53,082
2951Wilkerson, call Douglas
2952and Kramer's families,
2953
2954619
295500:31:53,083 --> 00:31:55,499
2956tell them the presidents
2957were called away
2958to an emergency summit.
2959
2960620
296100:31:55,500 --> 00:31:58,165
2962They will not be reachable,
2963and we have no
2964further information.
2965
2966621
296700:31:58,166 --> 00:31:59,999
2968Unless you find them
2969in that wreckage,
2970
2971622
297200:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,749
2973they're still out there
2974with about
2975a three-hour head start.
2976
2977623
297800:32:02,750 --> 00:32:05,249
2979Put up checkpoints
2980for 10 square miles
2981around that crash site.
2982
2983624
298400:32:05,250 --> 00:32:06,834
2985I want this resolved tonight.
2986
2987625
298800:32:13,500 --> 00:32:15,207
2989(HOOTING)
2990
2991626
299200:32:15,208 --> 00:32:16,332
2993I'm hungry.
2994
2995627
299600:32:16,333 --> 00:32:18,499
2997Give me one of those
2998tootsie rolls you've got.
2999
3000628
300100:32:18,500 --> 00:32:20,416
3002(GROANS)
3003
3004629
300500:32:20,417 --> 00:32:21,667
3006Wait a minute.
3007
3008630
300900:32:23,458 --> 00:32:24,999
3010There's a half.
3011You owe me.
3012
3013631
301400:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,374
3015I owe you?
3016
3017632
301800:32:26,375 --> 00:32:27,999
3019What, a penny?
3020
3021633
302200:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,916
3023Man, you are
3024one cheap son of a bitch.
3025
3026634
302700:32:29,917 --> 00:32:31,500
3028Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
3029
3030635
303100:32:34,000 --> 00:32:35,999
3032Yeah.
3033
3034636
303500:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,332
3036Yeah,
3037I am one cheap
3038son of a bitch,
3039
3040637
304100:32:38,333 --> 00:32:40,666
3042and that's exactly
3043what's gonna
3044save our backsides.
3045
3046638
304700:32:40,667 --> 00:32:42,874
3048I had the White House
3049kitchen staff
3050
3051639
305200:32:42,875 --> 00:32:45,374
3053track every meal
3054so I wouldn't go over budget.
3055
3056640
305700:32:45,375 --> 00:32:48,749
3058They have a complete record of
3059everything served and to whom.
3060
3061641
306200:32:48,750 --> 00:32:50,290
3063You're even cheaper
3064than I thought.
3065
3066642
306700:32:50,291 --> 00:32:51,541
3068Aw, stow it, sailor.
3069
3070643
307100:32:51,542 --> 00:32:53,207
3072That log is gonna prove
3073
3074644
307500:32:53,208 --> 00:32:55,249
3076that Haney was at
3077that lunch with Reynolds,
3078
3079645
308000:32:55,250 --> 00:32:57,332
3081and it's not
3082in the national archives.
3083
3084646
308500:32:57,333 --> 00:33:00,249
3086It's at my
3087presidential library in Ohio.
3088
3089647
309000:33:00,250 --> 00:33:02,874
3091So I'll just call the library
3092and have them fax the records
3093
3094648
309500:33:02,875 --> 00:33:04,374
3096to a few key people.
3097
3098649
309900:33:04,375 --> 00:33:06,582
3100No, you can't call.
3101Somebody wants us dead.
3102
3103650
310400:33:06,583 --> 00:33:09,082
3105When they find out we're
3106not, they're going to
3107come looking for us.
3108
3109651
311000:33:09,083 --> 00:33:11,165
3111That means they're gonna be
3112tapping some phones.
3113
3114652
311500:33:11,166 --> 00:33:13,040
3116Our home phones,
3117our office phones.
3118
3119653
312000:33:13,041 --> 00:33:14,457
3121Yeah, that's right.
3122Yeah. I don't know.
3123
3124654
312500:33:14,458 --> 00:33:16,874
3126Well, how are we gonna contact
3127the library?
3128
3129655
313000:33:16,875 --> 00:33:18,916
3131It's a nice night
3132to walk to Ohio.
3133
3134656
313500:33:18,917 --> 00:33:21,374
3136Walk to Ohio?
3137We don't even know
3138what state we're in!
3139
3140657
314100:33:21,375 --> 00:33:23,582
3142Come on, Grandpa.
3143What'd you say?
3144
3145658
314600:33:23,583 --> 00:33:24,750
3147You heard me.
3148
3149659
315000:33:25,917 --> 00:33:27,875
3151Try to keep up with me,
3152buster.
3153
3154660
315500:33:28,583 --> 00:33:29,625
3156(PIANO PLAYS)
3157
3158661
315900:33:36,083 --> 00:33:37,250
3160Joe Hollis.
3161
3162662
316300:33:38,333 --> 00:33:39,583
3164Thank you.
3165
3166663
316700:33:44,250 --> 00:33:46,374
3168Hello, Joe.
3169
3170664
317100:33:46,375 --> 00:33:51,290
3172Well, Kaye, what an unexpected
3173and bloodcurdling surprise.
3174
3175665
317600:33:51,291 --> 00:33:54,499
3177You just know how
3178to make a girl get all
3179gooey inside, don't you?
3180
3181666
318200:33:54,500 --> 00:33:56,082
3183What have you heard
3184about the Kramer scandal?
3185
3186667
318700:33:56,083 --> 00:33:57,249
3188Not a word.
3189
3190668
319100:33:57,250 --> 00:33:59,791
3192Now, if you'll excuse me,
3193my salad's getting cold.
3194
3195669
319600:33:59,792 --> 00:34:02,499
3197Kramer's office cancelled all
3198of his appointments this week.
3199
3200670
320100:34:02,500 --> 00:34:04,624
3202Seems he's disappeared.
3203
3204671
320500:34:04,625 --> 00:34:07,124
3206Honey, I have a tough enough
3207time keeping track of the
3208Democrats, let alone...
3209
3210672
321100:34:07,125 --> 00:34:08,374
3212Douglas has dropped
3213off the planet, too.
3214
3215673
321600:34:08,375 --> 00:34:11,040
3217What a coincidence.
3218
3219674
322000:34:11,041 --> 00:34:13,165
3221I tell you what,
3222If I hear so much as one word,
3223
3224675
322500:34:13,166 --> 00:34:15,124
3226you'll be the very first
3227to know, okay?
3228
3229676
323000:34:15,125 --> 00:34:16,791
3231Come on, Joe.
3232What's going on here?
3233
3234677
323500:34:16,792 --> 00:34:18,958
3236Is it possible
3237that Kramer and Douglas
3238
3239678
324000:34:18,959 --> 00:34:20,332
3241are in on this together?
3242
3243679
324400:34:20,333 --> 00:34:22,332
3245(CHUCKLES)
3246
3247680
324800:34:22,333 --> 00:34:23,625
3249Over their dead bodies.
3250
3251681
325200:34:45,708 --> 00:34:46,834
3253(GROANS)
3254
3255682
325600:34:49,417 --> 00:34:50,500
3257How's it going?
3258
3259683
326000:34:52,333 --> 00:34:53,500
3261(GASPS)
3262
3263684
326400:34:54,667 --> 00:34:55,667
3265Oh.
3266
3267685
326800:35:01,250 --> 00:35:02,333
3269(GASPS)
3270
3271686
327200:35:02,917 --> 00:35:05,290
3273(CHUCKLES)
3274
3275687
327600:35:05,291 --> 00:35:06,958
3277Are you them?
3278
3279688
328000:35:06,959 --> 00:35:08,624
3281I mean, are you the real guys?
3282
3283689
328400:35:08,625 --> 00:35:10,207
3285Oh, yeah. We are.
3286
3287690
328800:35:10,208 --> 00:35:11,208
3289Oh, man!
3290
3291691
329200:35:12,667 --> 00:35:13,833
3293I think you're awesome.
3294
3295692
329600:35:13,834 --> 00:35:15,457
3297No fair peaking.
3298
3299693
330000:35:15,458 --> 00:35:17,666
3301Oh, uh, sorry about that.
3302
3303694
330400:35:17,667 --> 00:35:19,624
3305I'm just kidding.
3306
3307695
330800:35:19,625 --> 00:35:21,457
3309I think
3310you're doing a great job, too.
3311
3312696
331300:35:21,458 --> 00:35:22,667
3314Nice stance.
3315That's important.
3316
3317697
331800:35:26,583 --> 00:35:27,583
3319It's an honor, sir.
3320
3321698
332200:35:30,708 --> 00:35:32,165
3323I can't shake right now.
3324
3325699
332600:35:32,166 --> 00:35:33,846
3327I have to keep my hands
3328on the first penis.
3329
3330700
333100:35:35,291 --> 00:35:38,332
3332Oh, uh, uh, no problem.
3333
3334701
333500:35:38,333 --> 00:35:39,375
3336Uh...
3337
3338702
333900:35:40,500 --> 00:35:42,000
3340It's a pleasure to meet ya!
3341
3342703
334300:35:43,875 --> 00:35:44,875
3344(LAUGHING)
3345
3346704
334700:35:49,083 --> 00:35:50,875
3348Ooh, boy!
3349
3350705
335100:35:52,041 --> 00:35:54,999
3352The first penis?
3353
3354706
335500:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,360
3356Actually, I think that's what
3357I'm gonna call it from now on.
3358
3359707
336000:35:59,250 --> 00:36:00,810
3361What do you think, blinky?
3362(ZIPPER ZIPS)
3363
3364708
336500:36:02,166 --> 00:36:03,375
3366(TOILET FLUSHES)
3367
3368709
336900:36:07,041 --> 00:36:08,249
3370So what's the deal, fellas?
3371
3372710
337300:36:08,250 --> 00:36:10,207
3374Bobby didn't say nothin'
3375about no presidents.
3376
3377711
337800:36:10,208 --> 00:36:11,707
3379Figured I was working
3380this gig alone.
3381
3382712
338300:36:11,708 --> 00:36:13,374
3384It don't matter none.
3385
3386713
338700:36:13,375 --> 00:36:16,416
3388What's your name?
3389Matt Douglas.
3390
3391714
339200:36:16,417 --> 00:36:18,082
3393No, sir, but I know who you're
3394supposed to look like.
3395
3396715
339700:36:18,083 --> 00:36:20,249
3398What are your real names?
3399
3400716
340100:36:20,250 --> 00:36:23,208
3402Tom... and, uh,
3403this is Blinky.
3404
3405717
340600:36:25,083 --> 00:36:27,749
3407Tom and Blinky.
3408I'm Francis.
3409
3410718
341100:36:27,750 --> 00:36:30,374
3412Let's get one thing straight.
3413No sharing tips.
3414
3415719
341600:36:30,375 --> 00:36:33,615
3417Once we get on that train,
3418it's every man for himself
3419until we pull into Cleveland.
3420
3421720
342200:36:34,500 --> 00:36:35,583
3423Now, let's rock and roll.
3424
3425721
342600:36:37,166 --> 00:36:39,707
3427We'll be right there.
3428Cleveland!
3429
3430722
343100:36:39,708 --> 00:36:42,082
3432I think we're
3433out of the woods... Blinky.
3434
3435723
343600:36:42,083 --> 00:36:43,457
3437You dirty, son of a...
3438
3439724
344000:36:43,458 --> 00:36:45,249
3441(WHISTLE BLOWS)
3442
3443725
344400:36:45,250 --> 00:36:49,165
3445(ELVIS SINGING)
3446
3447726
344800:36:49,166 --> 00:36:51,959
3449(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
3450
3451727
345200:36:53,375 --> 00:36:54,375
3453Hey, everybody.
3454
3455728
345600:36:54,376 --> 00:36:56,499
3457(CHEERING)
3458
3459729
346000:36:56,500 --> 00:36:58,165
3461Thank you very much.
3462
3463730
346400:36:58,166 --> 00:36:59,166
3465Thank you.
3466
3467731
346800:37:00,125 --> 00:37:01,792
3469(BOOING)
3470
3471732
347200:37:04,750 --> 00:37:06,083
3473Oh, this is going to be fun.
3474
3475733
347600:37:06,959 --> 00:37:08,792
3477(WHISTLE BLOWING)
3478
3479734
348000:37:15,208 --> 00:37:16,999
3481It's spooky.
3482He really looks like him.
3483
3484735
348500:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,499
3486Nah, his nose is bigger.
3487
3488736
348900:37:18,500 --> 00:37:19,624
3490WOMAN: Mister,
3491
3492737
349300:37:19,625 --> 00:37:21,999
3494have you ever met
3495the real President Kramer?
3496
3497738
349800:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,833
3499Actually, I have.
3500A great American.
3501
3502739
350300:37:24,834 --> 00:37:26,082
3504MAN: Give me a break!
3505
3506740
350700:37:26,083 --> 00:37:29,290
3508Our dreams are like children?
3509They need to be nurtured.
3510
3511741
351200:37:29,291 --> 00:37:31,651
3513They need to be supported.
3514They need to
3515eat their vegetables.
3516
3517742
351800:37:32,458 --> 00:37:33,458
3519Prick.
3520
3521743
352200:37:34,667 --> 00:37:35,874
3523This is so weird.
3524
3525744
352600:37:35,875 --> 00:37:38,165
3527I shouldn't tell you this,
3528but a couple of years ago,
3529
3530745
353100:37:38,166 --> 00:37:40,791
3532I had a thing with
3533the real President Douglas
3534
3535746
353600:37:40,792 --> 00:37:43,833
3537at a fourth of July do.
3538And we did.
3539
3540747
354100:37:43,834 --> 00:37:45,707
3542How about that.
3543
3544748
354500:37:45,708 --> 00:37:47,707
3546Stick a fork in the guy.
3547He's done.
3548
3549749
355000:37:47,708 --> 00:37:49,874
3551He was president.
3552He had his four years.
3553
3554750
355500:37:49,875 --> 00:37:51,958
3556We don't need another
3557piece-of-crap book from him.
3558
3559751
356000:37:51,959 --> 00:37:54,040
3561I thought he was
3562a good president.
3563
3564752
356500:37:54,041 --> 00:37:56,707
3566MAN: All these old guys, they
3567want to stay in the game, but
3568they don't have it anymore.
3569
3570753
357100:37:56,708 --> 00:37:58,666
3572Lie down, old fella, you're
3573dead, and you don't know it!
3574
3575754
357600:37:58,667 --> 00:38:00,749
3577(LAUGHTER)
3578
3579755
358000:38:00,750 --> 00:38:02,374
3581Hey!
3582Did you see that?
3583
3584756
358500:38:02,375 --> 00:38:04,374
3586A muscle spasm.
3587I've been getting them lately.
3588
3589757
359000:38:04,375 --> 00:38:05,958
3591I'm terribly sorry.
3592I don't know what...
3593
3594758
359500:38:05,959 --> 00:38:07,666
3596They just...
3597There it goes again.
3598
3599759
360000:38:07,667 --> 00:38:09,999
3601It just seems to...
3602It's very embarrassing.
3603
3604760
360500:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,374
3606I'd better go
3607and take my medication.
3608
3609761
361000:38:12,375 --> 00:38:15,124
3611I hope you don't mind
3612my asking, but how was he?
3613Any good?
3614
3615762
361600:38:15,125 --> 00:38:17,457
3617Well, to tell you the truth,
3618it was a lot like
3619his presidency.
3620
3621763
362200:38:17,458 --> 00:38:19,582
3623There was a lot of talk
3624leading up to it,
3625
3626764
362700:38:19,583 --> 00:38:21,416
3628but then he didn't do much.
3629
3630765
363100:38:21,417 --> 00:38:22,916
3632(GIGGLES)
3633
3634766
363500:38:22,917 --> 00:38:25,332
3636Excuse me.
3637
3638767
363900:38:25,333 --> 00:38:27,707
3640Douglas,
3641this thing stops in Akron,
3642
3643768
364400:38:27,708 --> 00:38:30,499
3645which isn't far
3646from Cuyahoga Falls
3647where my library is.
3648
3649769
365000:38:30,500 --> 00:38:32,541
3651What's it doing there?
3652Weren't you born in Cleveland?
3653
3654770
365500:38:32,542 --> 00:38:34,874
3656Well, yeah, I was,
3657but Cleveland wouldn't cut me
3658a decent deal
3659
3660771
366100:38:34,875 --> 00:38:36,374
3662on the property taxes.
3663
3664772
366500:38:36,375 --> 00:38:38,040
3666I mean,
3667moving that house was a bitch,
3668
3669773
367000:38:38,041 --> 00:38:41,749
3671but the financial benefits
3672have been fantastic.
3673
3674774
367500:38:41,750 --> 00:38:43,875
3676(WHISTLE BLOWS, BELL RINGING)
3677
3678775
367900:38:50,375 --> 00:38:52,455
3680DOUGLAS: I don't think
3681we're gonna make it to Akron.
3682
3683776
368400:38:53,875 --> 00:38:55,791
3685Let's start at the front
3686of the train and move back.
3687
3688777
368900:38:55,792 --> 00:38:57,666
3690We'll do it quickly,
3691we'll do it quietly.
3692
3693778
369400:38:57,667 --> 00:38:59,332
3695Meet us at the next station.
3696
3697779
369800:38:59,333 --> 00:39:01,093
3699That's where we'll
3700pull them off. Let's move.
3701
3702780
370300:39:10,917 --> 00:39:12,250
3704(WHISTLE BLOWS)
3705
3706781
370700:39:45,959 --> 00:39:47,250
3708Oh, great!
3709
3710782
371100:39:48,750 --> 00:39:49,910
3712We're at the end of the line.
3713
3714783
371500:39:59,708 --> 00:40:01,582
3716(BELL RINGING)
3717
3718784
371900:40:01,583 --> 00:40:03,999
3720Oh, my God!
3721How are we gonna do this?
3722
3723785
372400:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,290
3725It's simple.
3726You just jump, tuck, and roll.
3727
3728786
372900:40:06,291 --> 00:40:08,165
3730It's all hay and grass
3731out there.
3732
3733787
373400:40:08,166 --> 00:40:09,999
3735It's the amber waves of grain.
3736
3737788
373800:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,833
3739I can't do that.
3740Of course you can.
3741
3742789
374300:40:11,834 --> 00:40:14,499
3744You can do it!
3745Come on!
3746I can't!
3747
3748790
374900:40:14,500 --> 00:40:16,499
3750Close your eyes,
3751count to three.
3752We'll jump together.
3753
3754791
375500:40:16,500 --> 00:40:18,541
3756Now, come on. Close them,
3757Russell! Close them!
3758
3759792
376000:40:18,542 --> 00:40:19,874
3761All right.
3762
3763793
376400:40:19,875 --> 00:40:21,834
3765Count one... two...
3766
3767794
376800:40:24,875 --> 00:40:25,875
3769God that felt good.
3770
3771795
377200:40:28,125 --> 00:40:29,125
3773(GULPS)
3774One, two, three!
3775
3776796
377700:40:38,708 --> 00:40:40,166
3778(BELL RINGING)
3779
3780797
378100:40:43,375 --> 00:40:44,708
3782(GROANING)
3783
3784798
378500:40:52,834 --> 00:40:54,000
3786Jesus.
3787
3788799
378900:40:54,875 --> 00:40:55,875
3790(SIGHS)
3791
3792800
379300:40:56,708 --> 00:40:57,834
3794Douglas!
3795
3796801
379700:40:58,750 --> 00:40:59,875
3798Where are you?
3799
3800802
380100:41:01,208 --> 00:41:02,290
3802Oh, damn it.
3803
3804803
380500:41:02,291 --> 00:41:04,541
3806Douglas!
3807
3808804
380900:41:04,542 --> 00:41:07,040
3810DOUGLAS:
3811Stop yelling, you dick.
3812
3813805
381400:41:07,041 --> 00:41:08,332
3815Okay.
3816Where are you?
3817
3818806
381900:41:08,333 --> 00:41:09,375
3820I'm over here.
3821
3822807
382300:41:18,375 --> 00:41:20,165
3824Nice amber waves.
3825
3826808
382700:41:20,166 --> 00:41:23,416
3828I think I got a chunk
3829of purple mountain's majesty
3830up my ass.
3831
3832809
383300:41:23,417 --> 00:41:24,624
3834Here.
3835
3836810
383700:41:24,625 --> 00:41:26,916
3838Just don't.
3839Just don't help me.
3840
3841811
384200:41:26,917 --> 00:41:29,040
3843The last thing I need
3844is you helping me.
3845
3846812
384700:41:29,041 --> 00:41:30,457
3848That's fine by me.
3849
3850813
385100:41:30,458 --> 00:41:32,041
3852Let's go.
3853
3854814
385500:41:32,792 --> 00:41:33,916
3856(SNIFFS)
3857
3858815
385900:41:33,917 --> 00:41:35,541
3860Do you smell food?
3861
3862816
386300:41:35,542 --> 00:41:36,542
3864(SNIFFS)
3865
3866817
386700:41:36,543 --> 00:41:37,708
3868Ohh!
3869
3870818
387100:41:43,417 --> 00:41:45,250
3872(DOOR CHIMES)
3873
3874819
387500:41:50,083 --> 00:41:52,958
3876I'm out of money.
3877Lend me five bucks
3878for a burger.
3879
3880820
388100:41:52,959 --> 00:41:55,124
3882What kind of burger?
3883Uh, one with bacon.
3884
3885821
388600:41:55,125 --> 00:41:56,250
3887That's $1.99.
3888
3889822
389000:41:57,625 --> 00:41:58,958
3891Yeah...
3892
3893823
389400:41:58,959 --> 00:42:02,082
3895You want $5 to buy
3896a $1.99 hamburger,
3897
3898824
389900:42:02,083 --> 00:42:04,203
3900and you're wondering why
3901the Democrats are in trouble.
3902
3903825
390400:42:10,708 --> 00:42:12,542
3905Oh, we got company.
3906
3907826
390800:42:17,417 --> 00:42:20,999
3909(DOOR CHIMES)
3910
3911827
391200:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,417
3913Do you know who
3914those two guys are?
3915They're presidents.
3916
3917828
391800:42:24,583 --> 00:42:26,000
3919Cool.
3920
3921829
392200:42:26,834 --> 00:42:28,291
3923Presidents of what?
3924
3925830
392600:42:31,625 --> 00:42:32,958
3927Great. Cleveland, Ohio.
3928
3929831
393000:42:32,959 --> 00:42:34,457
3931Oh, God,
3932I hope this works.
3933
3934832
393500:42:34,458 --> 00:42:36,040
3936We don't have
3937any other choice.
3938
3939833
394000:42:36,041 --> 00:42:38,833
3941Hi, I'm Matt Douglas.
3942This is President Kramer.
3943
3944834
394500:42:38,834 --> 00:42:40,541
3946How do you do?
3947
3948835
394900:42:40,542 --> 00:42:42,999
3950I'm sure it's a bit
3951overwhelming for you
3952to meet us like this,
3953
3954836
395500:42:43,000 --> 00:42:44,624
3956but we're on
3957a fact-finding mission
3958
3959837
396000:42:44,625 --> 00:42:47,165
3961for the interstate commerce
3962commission. Headed for Ohio?
3963
3964838
396500:42:47,166 --> 00:42:48,417
3966Yep.
3967
3968839
396900:42:49,959 --> 00:42:51,624
3970Yeah, well, we have to
3971ride with you
3972
3973840
397400:42:51,625 --> 00:42:54,290
3975so we can gain
3976a personal perspective
3977
3978841
397900:42:54,291 --> 00:42:56,958
3980on the transportation
3981capabilities of our
3982interstate system.
3983
3984842
398500:42:56,959 --> 00:42:59,582
3986Well, nobody rides for free.
3987Cost you 50 bucks.
3988
3989843
399000:42:59,583 --> 00:43:01,125
3991Well,
3992we don't have any cash.
3993
3994844
399500:43:02,458 --> 00:43:03,624
3996I'll take your watch.
3997
3998845
399900:43:03,625 --> 00:43:07,249
4000Well, you must be joking.
4001That's a constellation.
4002
4003846
400400:43:07,250 --> 00:43:08,666
4005It was given to me
4006by Gorbachev.
4007
4008847
400900:43:08,667 --> 00:43:10,166
4010(SIGHS)
4011
4012848
401300:43:19,166 --> 00:43:21,999
4014This really steams my clams.
4015
4016849
401700:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,332
4018There are only two watches
4019like that in the entire world.
4020
4021850
402200:43:25,333 --> 00:43:28,707
4023Reagan has one, and now Shamu
4024the killer hick has the other.
4025
4026851
402700:43:28,708 --> 00:43:31,457
4028Will you shut up?
4029We don't want to piss her off.
4030
4031852
403200:43:31,458 --> 00:43:33,666
4033The burrito's really great.
4034
4035853
403600:43:33,667 --> 00:43:36,249
4037Better you eatin' them
4038than me. I'm dieting.
4039
4040854
404100:43:36,250 --> 00:43:38,165
4042Really? You don't need to.
4043
4044855
404500:43:38,166 --> 00:43:40,833
4046What's wrong with you?
4047I'm obese.
4048Open your damn eyes.
4049
4050856
405100:43:40,834 --> 00:43:42,457
4052I don't think you're obese.
4053
4054857
405500:43:42,458 --> 00:43:45,165
4056You must be one
4057of those rare gals
4058
4059858
406000:43:45,166 --> 00:43:48,541
4061who look good carrying
4062an extra one, two...
4063Hundred pounds.
4064
4065859
406600:43:48,542 --> 00:43:51,207
4067What are you saying?
4068I'm fat. I'm a fat pig.
4069
4070860
407100:43:51,208 --> 00:43:53,332
4072You know, that's the trouble
4073with you boys in Washington.
4074
4075861
407600:43:53,333 --> 00:43:55,582
4077You wouldn't know the plain
4078truth if it jumped up
4079and bit you in the butt.
4080
4081862
408200:43:55,583 --> 00:43:57,417
4083Nice job
4084not pissing her off.
4085
4086863
408700:44:00,417 --> 00:44:03,332
4088So, uh, what are we haulin'?
4089
4090864
409100:44:03,333 --> 00:44:05,457
4092Nothing excitin'.
4093Farm equipment.
4094
4095865
409600:44:05,458 --> 00:44:07,208
4097Uh-huh.
4098
4099866
410000:44:13,250 --> 00:44:14,370
4101I'm gonna have to pull over.
4102
4103867
410400:44:17,458 --> 00:44:20,040
4105Now, not to worry anybody,
4106but you might want to
4107make a run for it.
4108
4109868
411000:44:20,041 --> 00:44:21,333
4111What the hell is...
4112
4113869
411400:44:25,375 --> 00:44:27,374
4115Come on, come on, come on.
4116
4117870
411800:44:27,375 --> 00:44:28,874
4119MAN: Halt!
4120Stop where you are!
4121
4122871
412300:44:28,875 --> 00:44:31,499
4124(SPEAKS SPANISH)
4125
4126872
412700:44:31,500 --> 00:44:33,374
4128This is immigration
4129and naturalization service.
4130
4131873
413200:44:33,375 --> 00:44:34,749
4133What?
4134
4135874
413600:44:34,750 --> 00:44:36,541
4137(SPEAKS SPANISH)
4138
4139875
414000:44:36,542 --> 00:44:38,291
4141(SHOUTING)
4142
4143876
414400:44:40,083 --> 00:44:41,499
4145Farm equipment?
4146
4147877
414800:44:41,500 --> 00:44:44,207
4149I knew
4150that damn broad was trouble!
4151
4152878
415300:44:44,208 --> 00:44:46,583
4154All I care
4155is that chopper's not for us.
4156
4157879
415800:44:52,041 --> 00:44:55,249
4159That chopper's for us.
4160This is I.N.S. 1-1.
4161
4162880
416300:44:55,250 --> 00:44:57,165
4164You are interfering
4165with an official operation.
4166
4167881
416800:44:57,166 --> 00:44:59,916
4169You must vacate
4170this area immediately.
4171Negative I.N.S.
4172
4173882
417400:44:59,917 --> 00:45:02,040
4175We're in the middle
4176of a highly classified
4177N.S.A. Operation.
4178
4179883
418000:45:02,041 --> 00:45:03,958
4181You are ordered
4182to leave the area.
4183
4184884
418500:45:03,959 --> 00:45:06,249
4186Negative.
4187I will not abort my mission
4188
4189885
419000:45:06,250 --> 00:45:08,330
4191until I'm given proper
4192verification
4193of your authority.
4194
4195886
419600:45:10,959 --> 00:45:12,719
4197Verification acknowledged.
4198Have a nice night.
4199
4200887
420100:45:16,000 --> 00:45:17,499
4202Senores!
4203
4204888
420500:45:17,500 --> 00:45:18,624
4206Huh?
4207
4208889
420900:45:18,625 --> 00:45:20,458
4210Down here!
4211
4212890
421300:45:30,583 --> 00:45:33,417
4214(SHOUTING)
4215
4216891
421700:45:40,083 --> 00:45:41,249
4218MAN:
4219Burt, what do you have?
4220
4221892
422200:45:41,250 --> 00:45:42,457
4223MAN 2: Nothing yet, sir!
4224
4225893
422600:45:42,458 --> 00:45:43,916
4227Let's face it, Douglas.
4228We're dead.
4229
4230894
423100:45:43,917 --> 00:45:45,040
4232(SPANISH ACCENT) No.
4233
4234895
423500:45:45,041 --> 00:45:47,582
4236They no kill you, senor.
4237They send you back.
4238
4239896
424000:45:47,583 --> 00:45:49,374
4241You wait one month
4242and then you try again.
4243
4244897
424500:45:49,375 --> 00:45:51,999
4246I try four times already.
4247I love this country.
4248
4249898
425000:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,541
4251Do me a favor, son.
4252Put el socko in it.
4253
4254899
425500:45:54,542 --> 00:45:56,667
4256(SPEAKING SPANISH)
4257
4258900
425900:46:07,542 --> 00:46:09,874
4260Are you talking about me?
4261No.
4262
4263901
426400:46:09,875 --> 00:46:10,834
4265Are you cold?
4266
4267902
426800:46:10,835 --> 00:46:12,290
4269Si.
4270
4271903
427200:46:12,291 --> 00:46:14,207
4273Here. Take this.
4274
4275904
427600:46:14,208 --> 00:46:16,332
4277Oh, no, no, no.
4278Is okay.
4279
4280905
428100:46:16,333 --> 00:46:19,000
4282Take it. I could be dead
4283in a couple of minutes.
4284I won't need it.
4285
4286906
428700:46:21,041 --> 00:46:22,041
4288Gracias, senor.
4289
4290907
429100:46:28,667 --> 00:46:30,707
4292Now you take this.
4293
4294908
429500:46:30,708 --> 00:46:32,707
4296No, don't worry about it.
4297No, no, no, take it.
4298
4299909
430000:46:32,708 --> 00:46:34,290
4301You give to me,
4302now I give to you.
4303
4304910
430500:46:34,291 --> 00:46:37,916
4306This help me
4307get to my new home. America.
4308
4309911
431000:46:37,917 --> 00:46:39,997
4311Maybe this will help you
4312get to where you have to go.
4313
4314912
431500:46:41,041 --> 00:46:42,083
4316Thanks.
4317
4318913
431900:46:43,250 --> 00:46:44,542
4320Gracias, mi amigo.
4321
4322914
432300:46:45,041 --> 00:46:46,041
4324(THUNK)
4325
4326915
432700:46:48,041 --> 00:46:49,666
4328Hey.
4329
4330916
433100:46:49,667 --> 00:46:51,147
4332Oh, no.
4333They're coming.
4334They're coming.
4335
4336917
433700:46:52,917 --> 00:46:54,249
4338You're crazy!
4339
4340918
434100:46:54,250 --> 00:46:55,416
4342It is
4343true!
4344
4345919
434600:46:55,417 --> 00:46:57,207
4347Everybody in this country
4348has a gun!
4349
4350920
435100:46:57,208 --> 00:46:58,583
4352(SPEAKS SPANISH)
4353
4354921
435500:47:04,041 --> 00:47:05,041
4356There he goes!
4357
4358922
435900:47:14,000 --> 00:47:15,874
4360My coat.
4361They think he's me.
4362
4363923
436400:47:15,875 --> 00:47:18,249
4365Well, he's not,
4366so he'll be okay.
4367
4368924
436900:47:18,250 --> 00:47:19,541
4370Let's get out of here.
4371
4372925
437300:47:19,542 --> 00:47:20,959
4374Oh, hey, by the way...
4375
4376926
437700:47:56,834 --> 00:47:58,290
4378Let's talk.
4379
4380927
438100:47:58,291 --> 00:48:00,499
4382Why?
4383'Cause I'm bored.
4384
4385928
438600:48:00,500 --> 00:48:03,082
4387I have nothing to say to you.
4388Well, I have nothing
4389to say to you.
4390
4391929
439200:48:03,083 --> 00:48:04,833
4393That doesn't mean
4394we can't talk.
4395
4396930
439700:48:04,834 --> 00:48:07,624
4398My parents
4399proved that conclusively.
4400
4401931
440200:48:07,625 --> 00:48:09,207
4403(SIGHS)
4404
4405932
440600:48:09,208 --> 00:48:11,165
4407What do you miss most
4408about the office?
4409
4410933
441100:48:11,166 --> 00:48:14,082
4412I don't miss anything.
4413I don't live in the past.
4414
4415934
441600:48:14,083 --> 00:48:15,624
4417(SIGHS)
4418
4419935
442000:48:15,625 --> 00:48:16,958
4421Rita. What about Rita?
4422
4423936
442400:48:16,959 --> 00:48:19,332
4425Oh, God, Rita.
4426Yes, I do miss Rita.
4427
4428937
442900:48:19,333 --> 00:48:21,332
4430Greatest cook
4431the White House ever had.
4432
4433938
443400:48:21,333 --> 00:48:23,124
4435The only
4436cook
4437the White House ever had.
4438
4439939
444000:48:23,125 --> 00:48:24,999
4441I think Rita started
4442with George Washington.
4443
4444940
444500:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,124
4446You know,
4447when I couldn't sleep,
4448
4449941
445000:48:26,125 --> 00:48:28,624
4451I'd go downstairs,
4452and she'd make this dessert.
4453
4454942
445500:48:28,625 --> 00:48:32,124
4456It was a cream puff
4457with raspberry sauce...
4458
4459943
446000:48:32,125 --> 00:48:34,040
4461Did you ever have
4462one of her pizzas?
4463(GASPS)
4464
4465944
446600:48:34,041 --> 00:48:36,125
4467It was like a wet dream
4468with a crust.
4469
4470945
447100:48:37,708 --> 00:48:39,791
4472A wet dream?
4473
4474946
447500:48:39,792 --> 00:48:42,290
4476I don't think I need to hear
4477Russell P. Kramer saying
4478
4479947
448000:48:42,291 --> 00:48:43,582
4481the words "wet dream"
4482
4483948
448400:48:43,583 --> 00:48:45,666
4485I'll wake up screaming
4486every night till I die.
4487
4488949
448900:48:45,667 --> 00:48:47,916
4490There's nothing wrong
4491with wet dreams.
4492Stop!
4493
4494950
449500:48:47,917 --> 00:48:49,499
4496I had a couple
4497when I was a kid.
4498
4499951
450000:48:49,500 --> 00:48:51,499
4501Great. I'll look for that
4502exhibit in your library.
4503
4504952
450500:48:51,500 --> 00:48:52,625
4506Just stop!
4507
4508953
450900:48:54,667 --> 00:48:56,499
4510Okay, I got one.
4511
4512954
451300:48:56,500 --> 00:48:58,499
4514When you were in
4515the White House,
4516
4517955
451800:48:58,500 --> 00:49:01,541
4519who was the person you were
4520most excited to meet?
4521
4522956
452300:49:01,542 --> 00:49:03,457
4524Nelson Mandela.
4525I'm not a reporter.
4526
4527957
452800:49:03,458 --> 00:49:05,124
4529Ella Fitzgerald.
4530Ah.
4531
4532958
453300:49:05,125 --> 00:49:07,666
4534Mandela was a great man,
4535but he couldn't sing
4536worth shit.
4537
4538959
453900:49:07,667 --> 00:49:09,290
4540Joe DiMaggio.
4541
4542960
454300:49:09,291 --> 00:49:11,667
4544That was a thrill.
4545
4546961
454700:49:16,166 --> 00:49:17,834
4548What?
4549
4550962
455100:49:19,083 --> 00:49:20,083
4552Eighty million.
4553
4554963
455500:49:22,542 --> 00:49:24,541
4556That's how many people
4557voted against me
4558
4559964
456000:49:24,542 --> 00:49:25,750
4561the last time out.
4562
4563965
456400:49:29,041 --> 00:49:31,541
4565That's how many people
4566
4567966
456800:49:31,542 --> 00:49:36,875
4569didn't trust me,
4570didn't like me, didn't...
4571
4572967
457300:49:38,291 --> 00:49:39,417
4574Who knows?
4575
4576968
457700:49:44,917 --> 00:49:46,833
4578I stayed in bed
4579for a week and a half
4580
4581969
458200:49:46,834 --> 00:49:48,375
4583after they voted me out.
4584
4585970
458600:49:53,667 --> 00:49:56,582
4587Let's stop talking.
4588We're about to bond.
4589It'll make me vomit.
4590
4591971
459200:49:56,583 --> 00:49:58,040
4593Oh, why don't you
4594go to hell?
4595
4596972
459700:49:58,041 --> 00:49:59,250
4598Now, that's better.
4599
4600973
460100:50:01,250 --> 00:50:02,708
4602What time you got?
4603
4604974
460500:50:04,083 --> 00:50:05,207
4606Screw you!
4607
4608975
460900:50:05,208 --> 00:50:06,875
4610(CHUCKLES)
4611
4612976
461300:50:07,625 --> 00:50:09,125
4614Hold it. Hold it.
4615
4616977
461700:50:10,250 --> 00:50:11,291
4618I think I hear people.
4619
4620978
462100:50:21,041 --> 00:50:22,958
4622Wayne, slow down.
4623
4624979
462500:50:22,959 --> 00:50:25,582
4626That bacon doesn't have wings.
4627It won't fly away.
4628
4629980
463000:50:25,583 --> 00:50:27,375
4631I want
4632to get back on the road.
4633
4634981
463500:50:29,375 --> 00:50:30,750
4636Sweet Jesus.
4637
4638982
463900:50:32,417 --> 00:50:34,082
4640Good morning!
4641
4642983
464300:50:34,083 --> 00:50:36,416
4644It's wonderful
4645to see an American family
4646
4647984
464800:50:36,417 --> 00:50:39,749
4649out enjoying the natural
4650splendor of our great country.
4651
4652985
465300:50:39,750 --> 00:50:42,374
4654President Kramer!
4655KRAMER: Yes, ma'am.
4656I'm so pleased to meet you.
4657
4658986
465900:50:42,375 --> 00:50:45,040
4660Won't you please sit down.
4661That's all, son.
4662
4663987
466400:50:45,041 --> 00:50:46,249
4665You can put it at ease.
4666That's it.
4667
4668988
466900:50:46,250 --> 00:50:47,999
4670I'm on a fact-finding mission
4671
4672989
467300:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,040
4674from the department
4675of the interior.
4676
4677990
467800:50:50,041 --> 00:50:52,165
4679Now tell me, do you find
4680that the rest areas
4681
4682991
468300:50:52,166 --> 00:50:54,499
4684are conveniently located
4685and properly maintained?
4686
4687992
468800:50:54,500 --> 00:50:57,457
4689Oh, um, yes, sir.
4690
4691993
469200:50:57,458 --> 00:50:59,791
4693Good morning.
4694President Douglas!
4695
4696994
469700:50:59,792 --> 00:51:02,374
4698Well, it's been a delight
4699speaking to you folks.
4700
4701995
470200:51:02,375 --> 00:51:05,374
4703And don't forget,
4704these woods are your heritage.
4705
4706996
470700:51:05,375 --> 00:51:08,958
4708Enjoy them and protect them.
4709They deserve our respect.
4710
4711997
471200:51:08,959 --> 00:51:10,958
4713These trees
4714are like our children.
4715
4716998
471700:51:10,959 --> 00:51:12,625
4718Get in the damn car!
4719
4720999
472100:51:13,500 --> 00:51:14,750
4722Bye-bye.
4723
47241000
472500:51:21,875 --> 00:51:24,333
4726(TIRES SCREECHING)
4727
47281001
472900:51:26,458 --> 00:51:29,332
4730Oh, yeah.
4731Hey, we're just south
4732of Galax, Virginia.
4733
47341002
473500:51:29,333 --> 00:51:31,707
4736In a couple of miles,
4737we hit 77.
4738
47391003
474000:51:31,708 --> 00:51:34,666
4741That takes us all the way
4742directly into Ohio.
4743We're fine.
4744
47451004
474600:51:34,667 --> 00:51:36,332
4747Unless we run into trouble.
4748
47491005
475000:51:36,333 --> 00:51:37,875
4751Which I predict we won't.
4752
47531006
475400:51:39,000 --> 00:51:40,792
4755(COOING)
4756
47571007
475800:51:46,166 --> 00:51:48,208
4759(TIRES SCREECH)
4760
47611008
476200:51:53,959 --> 00:51:55,874
4763If you'd have told us
4764how important the mission was,
4765
47661009
476700:51:55,875 --> 00:51:57,999
4768we'd have loaned you the car
4769straight-out,
4770
47711010
477200:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,582
4773no questions asked.
4774Again, we apologize,
4775
47761011
477700:52:00,583 --> 00:52:03,040
4778but, you know, those boys from
4779the department of the interior
4780
47811012
478200:52:03,041 --> 00:52:04,666
4783can be very secretive.
4784
47851013
478600:52:04,667 --> 00:52:06,582
4787We're just happy that
4788you're headed for Cleveland.
4789
47901014
479100:52:06,583 --> 00:52:08,499
4792That's where we have to
4793file our report.
4794
47951015
479600:52:08,500 --> 00:52:10,249
4797Well, we're just happy
4798to do our part.
4799
48001016
480100:52:10,250 --> 00:52:12,916
4802Hey, another out-of-state
4803license plate, Kevin.
4804
48051017
480600:52:12,917 --> 00:52:14,707
4807We're hoping
4808to spot all 50 states.
4809
48101018
481100:52:14,708 --> 00:52:16,916
4812We're gettin' there, too.
4813
48141019
481500:52:16,917 --> 00:52:19,708
4816Can anybody make that one out?
4817Looks like a "U."
4818
48191020
482000:52:21,542 --> 00:52:23,207
4821Utah!
4822Utah!
4823
48241021
482500:52:23,208 --> 00:52:25,999
4826No, that's
4827a U.S. Government plate.
4828
48291022
483000:52:26,000 --> 00:52:27,333
4831Guy looks like a cop
4832or something.
4833
48341023
483500:52:32,125 --> 00:52:33,833
4836Hey, good buddy!
4837
48381024
483900:52:33,834 --> 00:52:36,916
4840God bless America!
4841Keep on truckin'!
4842
48431025
484400:52:36,917 --> 00:52:39,750
4845Hey, hey, now!
4846Wave, Kevin!
4847
48481026
484900:52:41,375 --> 00:52:43,541
4850Well, he wasn't too friendly,
4851now, was he?
4852
48531027
485400:52:43,542 --> 00:52:46,374
4855Mom! The presidents
4856are squishin' me!
4857
48581028
485900:52:46,375 --> 00:52:47,708
4860Isn't this fun?
4861
48621029
486300:52:49,041 --> 00:52:50,291
4864(BOTH LAUGHING)
4865
48661030
486700:52:52,917 --> 00:52:54,083
4868(BABY SCREAMING)
4869
48701031
487100:52:56,291 --> 00:52:57,583
4872(INSECTS CHIRPING)
4873
48741032
487500:53:04,291 --> 00:53:07,416
4876We're never getting to Ohio.
4877Not the way this guy drives.
4878
48791033
488000:53:07,417 --> 00:53:10,082
4881Every 500 feet they stop
4882to take another damn picture.
4883
48841034
488500:53:10,083 --> 00:53:12,249
4886The Donner party moved faster.
4887
48881035
488900:53:12,250 --> 00:53:13,917
4890Aw, shut up.
4891I'm trying to sleep.
4892
48931036
489400:53:16,667 --> 00:53:20,124
4895Oh, my God,
4896he's squeezing
4897my breast again.
4898
48991037
490000:53:20,125 --> 00:53:22,624
4901This time,
4902pretend not to enjoy it.
4903
49041038
490500:53:22,625 --> 00:53:24,375
4906Aw, shut your cake hole,
4907Douglas.
4908
49091039
491000:53:31,583 --> 00:53:32,833
4911Hi.
4912
49131040
491400:53:32,834 --> 00:53:35,207
4915Hello.
4916
49171041
491800:53:35,208 --> 00:53:37,999
4919You know, we'd have been fine
4920outside in the tent,
4921
49221042
492300:53:38,000 --> 00:53:39,624
4924but thanks for
4925sharing the bed.
4926
49271043
492800:53:39,625 --> 00:53:41,624
4929It means a lot.
4930
49311044
493200:53:41,625 --> 00:53:43,124
4933Oh, sure.
4934
49351045
493600:53:43,125 --> 00:53:45,207
4937You know, we voted for you.
4938
49391046
494000:53:45,208 --> 00:53:47,625
4941Oh.
4942
49431047
494400:53:49,166 --> 00:53:51,958
4945Oh, I-I'm sorry about that,
4946sir.
4947
49481048
494900:53:51,959 --> 00:53:53,374
4950We're Republican.
4951
49521049
495300:53:53,375 --> 00:53:55,582
4954Well,
4955at least you can admit it.
4956
49571050
495800:53:55,583 --> 00:53:58,624
4959That's the first step
4960towards recovery.
4961
49621051
496300:53:58,625 --> 00:53:59,791
4964(KEVIN GROANING)
4965
49661052
496700:53:59,792 --> 00:54:01,207
4968I'm hot!
4969
49701053
497100:54:01,208 --> 00:54:02,959
4972Ahhh!
4973
49741054
497500:54:13,375 --> 00:54:15,165
4976Any idea how much longer
4977to Cleveland, Wayne?
4978
49791055
498000:54:15,166 --> 00:54:18,999
4981I may have to call the boys
4982in our department and tell
4983them what time to expect us.
4984
49851056
498600:54:19,000 --> 00:54:20,666
4987Oh, about eight to 10 hours.
4988
49891057
499000:54:20,667 --> 00:54:23,165
4991You know, I was thinking,
4992after we drop you off,
4993
49941058
499500:54:23,166 --> 00:54:26,541
4996I might take the family
4997up to the Dakotas
4998to see Mount Rushmore.
4999
50001059
500100:54:26,542 --> 00:54:29,374
5002That's one of America's
5003greatest natural wonders, son.
5004
50051060
500600:54:29,375 --> 00:54:32,249
5007DOUGLAS: Not really.
5008It's not a natural wonder.
5009
50101061
501100:54:32,250 --> 00:54:34,166
5012A man by the name
5013of Gutzon Borglum carved it.
5014
50151062
501600:54:35,708 --> 00:54:37,833
5017What? Somebody carved it?
5018
50191063
502000:54:37,834 --> 00:54:40,165
5021Well,
5022that ruins the whole thing.
5023
50241064
502500:54:40,166 --> 00:54:43,124
5026Whoops!
5027Diaper patrol, Matt!
5028
50291065
503000:54:43,125 --> 00:54:45,124
5031Looks like
5032we'll need those
5033pampers again!
5034
50351066
503600:54:45,125 --> 00:54:46,165
5037Whoo!
5038
50391067
504000:54:46,166 --> 00:54:47,582
5041KRAMER: Oh, boy.
5042
50431068
504400:54:47,583 --> 00:54:48,916
5045Is he healthy?
5046
50471069
504800:54:48,917 --> 00:54:51,666
5049Dad, who's on Mount Rushmore?
5050
50511070
505200:54:51,667 --> 00:54:54,457
5053Well, there's Abe Lincoln.
5054He chopped down
5055the cherry tree.
5056
50571071
505800:54:54,458 --> 00:54:57,165
5059And then there's
5060Franklin Theodore Roosevelt.
5061
50621072
506300:54:57,166 --> 00:55:00,249
5064He killed him a bear
5065when he was only three.
5066
50671073
506800:55:00,250 --> 00:55:02,666
5069DOUGLAS: You got
5070to be kidding,
5071right, Wayne?
5072
50731074
507400:55:02,667 --> 00:55:04,541
5075You got Lincoln
5076mixed up
5077with George Washington
5078
50791075
508000:55:04,542 --> 00:55:06,499
5081and you've got the Roosevelt's
5082mixed up with Davy Crockett.
5083
50841076
508500:55:06,500 --> 00:55:08,749
5086Do you have any idea
5087what you're talking about?
5088
50891077
509000:55:08,750 --> 00:55:12,165
5091Uh, no disrespect, sir,
5092but you're in my car.
5093
50941078
509500:55:12,166 --> 00:55:13,332
5096Well, you're in my
5097country.
5098
50991079
510000:55:13,333 --> 00:55:15,749
5101Well, our
5102country.
5103Get your facts straight.
5104
51051080
510600:55:15,750 --> 00:55:17,791
5107How do you expect your son
5108to respect
5109the nation's history
5110
51111081
511200:55:17,792 --> 00:55:19,249
5113if you don't?
5114
51151082
511600:55:19,250 --> 00:55:21,374
5117That kind of ignorance
5118is dangerous.
5119
51201083
512100:55:21,375 --> 00:55:24,207
5122Forget our nation's history.
5123What about
5124our nation right now?
5125
51261084
512700:55:24,208 --> 00:55:26,040
5128Wayne, don't.
5129
51301085
513100:55:26,041 --> 00:55:28,374
5132No. The country's
5133fallin' apart. People are
5134losin' their homes.
5135
51361086
513700:55:28,375 --> 00:55:30,999
5138They can't find work.
5139You talk about ignorance.
5140
51411087
514200:55:31,000 --> 00:55:32,833
5143You're the ignorant ones,
5144both of you.
5145
51461088
514700:55:32,834 --> 00:55:35,874
5148Why, you've... You've ignored
5149the voice of the people.
5150
51511089
515200:55:35,875 --> 00:55:37,707
5153The voice of the people?
5154
51551090
515600:55:37,708 --> 00:55:39,457
5157There is no such thing.
5158
51591091
516000:55:39,458 --> 00:55:42,749
5161You got 240 million voices
5162all yelling for
5163something different.
5164
51651092
516600:55:42,750 --> 00:55:46,082
5167The only thing you all
5168seem to agree on is you
5169don't want higher taxes.
5170
51711093
517200:55:46,083 --> 00:55:47,403
5173The voice of the people,
5174my fanny.
5175
51761094
517700:55:49,083 --> 00:55:50,083
5178Pull over, Wayne.
5179
51801095
518100:55:57,333 --> 00:55:59,916
5182Kevin, honey, run throw this
5183in the trash for mama, okay?
5184
51851096
518600:55:59,917 --> 00:56:00,917
5187Okay.
5188
51891097
519000:56:02,458 --> 00:56:03,792
5191There we go.
5192
51931098
519400:56:07,917 --> 00:56:08,959
5195Please get out of our car.
5196
51971099
519800:56:11,625 --> 00:56:13,207
5199Listen, I'm sorry...
5200
52011100
520200:56:13,208 --> 00:56:14,458
5203No.
5204
52051101
520600:56:16,083 --> 00:56:18,083
5207We invited you into our home.
5208
52091102
521000:56:20,250 --> 00:56:21,291
5211Not our car...
5212
52131103
521400:56:22,166 --> 00:56:23,166
5215Our home.
5216
52171104
521800:56:25,792 --> 00:56:27,457
5219We lost our jobs
5220
52211105
522200:56:27,458 --> 00:56:29,959
5223because of your budget cuts,
5224President Kramer.
5225
52261106
522700:56:32,750 --> 00:56:35,082
5228And we lost our home
5229
52301107
523100:56:35,083 --> 00:56:38,916
5232because
5233of your economic downturn,
5234
52351108
523600:56:38,917 --> 00:56:40,999
5237President Douglas.
5238
52391109
524000:56:41,000 --> 00:56:44,124
5241All we have now
5242is the slim chance of a job
5243
52441110
524500:56:44,125 --> 00:56:46,166
5246at my uncle's paint factory
5247in Cleveland.
5248
52491111
525000:56:47,750 --> 00:56:49,583
5251So I will ask you once again.
5252
52531112
525400:56:50,750 --> 00:56:52,499
5255Please...
5256
52571113
525800:56:52,500 --> 00:56:54,125
5259Get out of our car.
5260
52611114
526200:57:06,417 --> 00:57:07,500
5263(TELEPHONE RINGING)
5264
52651115
526600:57:11,500 --> 00:57:12,833
5267Hello.
5268
52691116
527000:57:12,834 --> 00:57:14,332
5271DOUGLAS: Joe, it's me.
5272
52731117
527400:57:14,333 --> 00:57:16,582
5275Oh, Matt.
5276Where the hell are you
5277and what's going on?
5278
52791118
528000:57:16,583 --> 00:57:18,707
5281I'm with Kramer.
5282Are you kidding me, Matt?
5283
52841119
528500:57:18,708 --> 00:57:20,666
5286Haney had Charlie Reynolds
5287killed,
5288
52891120
529000:57:20,667 --> 00:57:22,207
5291now they're trying to kill us.
5292
52931121
529400:57:22,208 --> 00:57:24,165
5295What? Haney?
5296Well, I'm pretty sure.
5297
52981122
529900:57:24,166 --> 00:57:25,833
5300He sent Marine One
5301to pick us up,
5302
53031123
530400:57:25,834 --> 00:57:28,165
5305and we got out
5306just before it blew up.
5307My God.
5308
53091124
531000:57:28,166 --> 00:57:29,999
5311I didn't want to call anyone,
5312
53131125
531400:57:30,000 --> 00:57:32,040
5315but you're the only person
5316I can trust.
5317
53181126
531900:57:32,041 --> 00:57:34,874
5320Listen, get in touch
5321with your CIA contacts.
5322
53231127
532400:57:34,875 --> 00:57:36,624
5325See if they can find out
5326what the hell
5327this is all about.
5328
53291128
533000:57:36,625 --> 00:57:37,625
5331Okay, you got it.
5332
53331129
533400:57:37,626 --> 00:57:39,499
5335Now for Christ's sake,
5336keep out of sight.
5337
53381130
533900:57:39,500 --> 00:57:41,457
5340It's okay.
5341I think we're in the clear.
5342
53431131
534400:57:41,458 --> 00:57:43,165
5345I haven't seen any N.S.A.
5346yet today,
5347
53481132
534900:57:43,166 --> 00:57:44,542
5350so I'm guessing we lost them.
5351
53521133
535300:57:46,542 --> 00:57:47,708
5354(COMPUTER BEEPING)
5355
53561134
535700:57:56,917 --> 00:57:58,250
5358They're moving north?
5359
53601135
536100:57:58,917 --> 00:58:00,375
5362What a coincidence.
5363
53641136
536500:58:00,959 --> 00:58:02,542
5366So are we.
5367
53681137
536900:58:20,208 --> 00:58:23,917
5370(GROANING)
5371Ohh, baby.
5372
53731138
537400:58:26,625 --> 00:58:28,249
5375Excuse me.
5376
53771139
537800:58:28,250 --> 00:58:29,374
5379How much
5380is that piece of pie?
5381
53821140
538300:58:29,375 --> 00:58:30,375
5384$1.50.
5385
53861141
538700:58:34,250 --> 00:58:36,625
5388Oh, never mind,
5389but thank you.
5390
53911142
539200:58:39,583 --> 00:58:40,750
5393Hey.
5394
53951143
539600:58:43,875 --> 00:58:45,542
5397Here you go.
5398It's on the house.
5399
54001144
540100:58:46,750 --> 00:58:48,416
5402I'm sorry.
5403I couldn't do that.
5404
54051145
540600:58:48,417 --> 00:58:50,208
5407I said it was on the house,
5408old man.
5409
54101146
541100:58:51,792 --> 00:58:53,375
5412Old man?
5413
54141147
541500:59:05,917 --> 00:59:07,291
5416Old man.
5417
54181148
541900:59:10,208 --> 00:59:12,416
5420Okay, let's go.
5421What's the matter?
5422
54231149
542400:59:12,417 --> 00:59:14,916
5425I want to
5426get the hell out of here.
5427
54281150
542900:59:14,917 --> 00:59:17,082
5430I'm gonna call home,
5431tell my wife that I'm okay,
5432
54331151
543400:59:17,083 --> 00:59:19,207
5435and I don't give a damn
5436if the phone is
5437tapped.
5438
54391152
544000:59:19,208 --> 00:59:21,749
5441You do what you want,
5442but when the N.S.A. shows up,
5443
54441153
544500:59:21,750 --> 00:59:23,230
5446we'll know who gave us away,
5447won't we?
5448
54491154
545000:59:43,959 --> 00:59:45,040
5451Good morning!
5452
54531155
545400:59:45,041 --> 00:59:46,791
5455How can I...
5456(GASPS)
5457
54581156
545900:59:46,792 --> 00:59:48,499
5460Oh, my!
5461
54621157
546300:59:48,500 --> 00:59:49,916
5464(SQUEALING) Oh, my!
5465
54661158
546700:59:49,917 --> 00:59:52,582
5468Is this for real?
5469Is this a joke or what?
5470
54711159
547200:59:52,583 --> 00:59:54,999
5473No, it's really us.
5474No. Get out of here!
5475
54761160
547700:59:55,000 --> 00:59:56,165
5478Get out!
5479
54801161
548100:59:56,166 --> 00:59:57,666
5482Charlene, what's wrong?
5483
54841162
548500:59:57,667 --> 00:59:59,874
5486Oh, my God.
5487BOTH: President Douglas.
5488
54891163
549000:59:59,875 --> 01:00:01,165
5491And President Kramer...
5492
54931164
549401:00:01,166 --> 01:00:02,708
5495BOTH: On our shift!
5496
54971165
549801:00:04,333 --> 01:00:06,499
5499We'd, uh,
5500like to rent a car.
5501
55021166
550301:00:06,500 --> 01:00:08,541
5504Oh,
5505we only got two cars left
5506
55071167
550801:00:08,542 --> 01:00:10,666
5509because of that
5510big livestock auction.
5511
55121168
551301:00:10,667 --> 01:00:12,374
5514Would you like a Hyundai
5515or a Lexus?
5516
55171169
551801:00:12,375 --> 01:00:14,333
5519(BOTH LAUGH)
5520
55211170
552201:00:15,458 --> 01:00:18,624
5523Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
5524Oh, I'm sorry!
5525
55261171
552701:00:18,625 --> 01:00:20,416
5528Miss airhead,
5529at your service.
5530
55311172
553201:00:20,417 --> 01:00:23,041
5533Okay, now, we'll need to see
5534some identification, please.
5535
55361173
553701:00:26,125 --> 01:00:28,833
5538(CAR ALARM BLARING)
5539
55401174
554101:00:28,834 --> 01:00:32,040
5542(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
5543
55441175
554501:00:32,041 --> 01:00:34,041
5546(TURN SIGNAL CLICKING)
5547
55481176
554901:00:35,375 --> 01:00:37,250
5550(ALARM, TURN SIGNAL SHUTS OFF)
5551
55521177
555301:00:38,166 --> 01:00:41,041
5554(CAR ALARM BLARING)
5555
55561178
555701:00:43,417 --> 01:00:45,165
5558Well?
5559What?
5560
55611179
556201:00:45,166 --> 01:00:47,999
5563I haven't driven myself since
5564my first year in the house.
5565
55661180
556701:00:48,000 --> 01:00:49,417
5568Give me a second.
5569
55701181
557101:01:04,250 --> 01:01:05,500
5572It's like riding a bike.
5573
55741182
557501:01:17,041 --> 01:01:20,750
5576(WHISTLING
5577"HAIL TO THE CHIEF")
5578
55791183
558001:01:23,291 --> 01:01:25,416
5581Will you stop whistling,
5582please?
5583
55841184
558501:01:25,417 --> 01:01:27,749
5586I'm trying
5587to sleep over here.
5588
55891185
559001:01:27,750 --> 01:01:29,749
5591Sleeping too much
5592is a sign of depression.
5593
55941186
559501:01:29,750 --> 01:01:31,290
5596Yeah, well,
5597you keep whistling,
5598
55991187
560001:01:31,291 --> 01:01:32,833
5601and I'll put a depression
5602in your skull.
5603
56041188
560501:01:32,834 --> 01:01:36,082
5606We've got damn near
5607eight hours before
5608we get to the library.
5609
56101189
561101:01:36,083 --> 01:01:38,582
5612I'm trying to stay alert.
5613I hate that song.
5614
56151190
561601:01:38,583 --> 01:01:40,082
5617So do I.
5618I made up words
5619to the damn thing.
5620
56211191
562201:01:40,083 --> 01:01:41,582
5623What?
5624
56251192
562601:01:41,583 --> 01:01:43,874
5627I made up words
5628to Hail to the Chief.
5629
56301193
563101:01:43,875 --> 01:01:45,999
5632I sing them to myself
5633every time they play it.
5634
56351194
563601:01:46,000 --> 01:01:47,624
5637I made up words to it,
5638too.
5639
56401195
564101:01:47,625 --> 01:01:49,791
5642Yeah? Let me hear yours.
5643No, you go first.
5644
56451196
564601:01:49,792 --> 01:01:51,432
5647No, no. You do yours,
5648then I'll sing mine.
5649
56501197
565101:01:54,583 --> 01:01:56,082
5652♪ Hail to the chief
5653
56541198
565501:01:56,083 --> 01:01:58,124
5656♪ He's the chief
5657and he needs hailing
5658
56591199
566001:01:58,125 --> 01:02:01,457
5661♪ He is the chief,
5662so everybody hail like crazy
5663
56641200
566501:02:01,458 --> 01:02:02,666
5666♪ Hail to... ♪
5667
56681201
566901:02:02,667 --> 01:02:04,458
5670That's more or less...
5671Mmm-hmm.
5672
56731202
567401:02:06,458 --> 01:02:08,457
5675Okay, well, let's hear
5676your version, Gershwin.
5677
56781203
567901:02:08,458 --> 01:02:09,749
5680No.
5681
56821204
568301:02:09,750 --> 01:02:11,791
5684What do you mean no?
5685I sang mine.
5686
56871205
568801:02:11,792 --> 01:02:13,625
5689I know.
5690You're an idiot.
5691
56921206
569301:02:25,458 --> 01:02:27,457
5694Mr. President,
5695CNN's set up near the park.
5696
56971207
569801:02:27,458 --> 01:02:28,791
5699Maybe you should put this on.
5700
57011208
570201:02:28,792 --> 01:02:30,791
5703Not so fast, Carl.
5704Slow down.
5705
57061209
570701:02:30,792 --> 01:02:33,666
5708I don't like people
5709running faster than I do.
5710It makes me look poky.
5711
57121210
571301:02:33,667 --> 01:02:34,833
5714Sorry, sir.
5715
57161211
571701:02:34,834 --> 01:02:36,833
5718Lakers? I thought
5719we were solid in Los Angeles?
5720
57211212
572201:02:36,834 --> 01:02:39,165
5723We were, sir, but then you
5724cut back on disaster relief.
5725
57261213
572701:02:39,166 --> 01:02:41,040
5728Too fast again.
5729Sorry.
5730
57311214
573201:02:41,041 --> 01:02:43,249
5733I don't want to wear this.
5734I'm a Houston fan.
5735
57361215
573701:02:43,250 --> 01:02:44,667
5738Ted!
5739
57401216
574101:02:45,542 --> 01:02:46,542
5742Hey, a hat.
5743
57441217
574501:02:50,542 --> 01:02:52,707
5746Kaye Griffin called
5747this morning.
5748
57491218
575001:02:52,708 --> 01:02:55,165
5751She's getting ready to report
5752that Douglas and Kramer
5753have dropped out of sight
5754
57551219
575601:02:55,166 --> 01:02:58,040
5757and they're working together
5758to expose a major cover-up.
5759
57601220
576101:02:58,041 --> 01:03:00,165
5762I'll look into that
5763right away.
5764Well, you better.
5765
57661221
576701:03:00,166 --> 01:03:02,246
5768I want those idiots found
5769before they dig any deeper.
5770
57711222
577201:03:16,542 --> 01:03:18,082
5773What? What are you doing?
5774
57751223
577601:03:18,083 --> 01:03:20,416
5777I needed a cup of coffee.
5778Oh, good.
5779
57801224
578101:03:20,417 --> 01:03:22,791
5782Did you get me one?
5783No.
5784
57851225
578601:03:22,792 --> 01:03:25,041
5787You cheap bastard.
5788I only had 50 cents.
5789
57901226
579101:03:25,959 --> 01:03:27,916
5792Give me a sip.
5793
57941227
579501:03:27,917 --> 01:03:30,499
5796Oh, yeah, I'm about to
5797share my coffee with the
5798Washington love machine.
5799
58001228
580101:03:30,500 --> 01:03:32,582
5802No dice.
5803
58041229
580501:03:32,583 --> 01:03:34,707
5806You could spit in a
5807petri dish and start a
5808whole new civilization.
5809
58101230
581101:03:34,708 --> 01:03:36,708
5812Here,
5813you want to lick the lid?
5814Screw you.
5815
58161231
581701:03:38,375 --> 01:03:39,500
5818Give me that.
5819
58201232
582101:03:43,208 --> 01:03:45,374
5822Decaf? You pussy!
5823
58241233
582501:03:45,375 --> 01:03:46,542
5826I gotta go find a john!
5827
58281234
582901:04:05,083 --> 01:04:08,332
5830Sir, I'm Agent Wilkerson.
5831We have reason to believe
5832your life is in danger.
5833
58341235
583501:04:08,333 --> 01:04:10,293
5836We've been ordered
5837to transfer you
5838out of the area.
5839
58401236
584101:04:11,250 --> 01:04:12,707
5842("MACARENA" PLAYING)
5843
58441237
584501:04:12,708 --> 01:04:14,999
5846DOUGLAS:
5847♪ Hey, Macarena ♪
5848
58491238
585001:04:15,000 --> 01:04:16,916
5851Sir, if you could just
5852step out of the vehicle.
5853
58541239
585501:04:16,917 --> 01:04:19,124
5856We'll get you to the...
5857(GROANS)
5858
58591240
586001:04:19,125 --> 01:04:20,917
5861(TIRES SCREECH)
5862
58631241
586401:04:23,250 --> 01:04:24,750
5865(TIRES SCREECH,
5866ENGINE TURNS OVER)
5867
58681242
586901:04:25,917 --> 01:04:26,875
5870(HORN HONKS)
5871Hurry up!
5872
58731243
587401:04:26,876 --> 01:04:29,666
5875Get in!
5876Did we get collision coverage?
5877
58781244
587901:04:29,667 --> 01:04:31,083
5880Why?
5881Oh, nothing.
5882
58831245
588401:04:34,375 --> 01:04:35,458
5885Look out!
5886Hold on!
5887
58881246
588901:04:47,125 --> 01:04:48,999
5890(LAUGHING)
5891
58921247
589301:04:49,000 --> 01:04:50,000
5894Ahh!
5895
58961248
589701:04:51,083 --> 01:04:52,457
5898Ahh!
5899
59001249
590101:04:52,458 --> 01:04:54,124
5902Ahh!
5903
59041250
590501:04:54,125 --> 01:04:55,624
5906Ahh!
5907
59081251
590901:04:55,625 --> 01:04:57,582
5910Ahh!
5911
59121252
591301:04:57,583 --> 01:04:58,791
5914Jesus! Get it out!
5915
59161253
591701:04:58,792 --> 01:05:00,457
5918I'm trying!
5919
59201254
592101:05:00,458 --> 01:05:01,917
5922I can't see!
5923Get it the hell out!
5924
59251255
592601:05:15,959 --> 01:05:16,959
5927Go!
5928
59291256
593001:05:24,000 --> 01:05:25,458
5931Ahh!
5932
59331257
593401:05:29,333 --> 01:05:30,499
5935Nice going, Mario.
5936
59371258
593801:05:30,500 --> 01:05:31,834
5939Shut up.
5940
59411259
594201:05:35,834 --> 01:05:36,834
5943That way.
5944
59451260
594601:05:40,041 --> 01:05:41,333
5947Oh, not good.
5948
59491261
595001:05:45,291 --> 01:05:46,375
5951Let's go! Let's go!
5952
59531262
595401:05:48,125 --> 01:05:49,333
5955(TIRES SCREECH)
5956
59571263
595801:05:51,917 --> 01:05:53,040
5959Now what?
5960
59611264
596201:05:53,041 --> 01:05:54,500
5963Just blend in.
5964Just blend in.
5965
59661265
596701:05:59,542 --> 01:06:01,208
5968Look! It's the president!
5969
59701266
597101:06:02,291 --> 01:06:04,707
5972Hi!
5973Hi!
5974
59751267
597601:06:04,708 --> 01:06:06,416
5977How are you?
5978
59791268
598001:06:06,417 --> 01:06:07,707
5981President Kramer?
5982
59831269
598401:06:07,708 --> 01:06:09,457
5985President Douglas?
5986How's it going?
5987
59881270
598901:06:09,458 --> 01:06:11,332
5990This is amazing.
5991
59921271
599301:06:11,333 --> 01:06:13,542
5994Not really. We march in these
5995things all the time.
5996Wow!
5997
59981272
599901:06:14,542 --> 01:06:16,874
6000(CHEERING)
6001
60021273
600301:06:16,875 --> 01:06:19,542
6004(MARCHING BAND PLAYING)
6005
60061274
600701:06:24,750 --> 01:06:27,875
6008("SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW"
6009PLAYING)
6010
60111275
601201:06:38,208 --> 01:06:40,666
6013Oh, my Lord & Taylor!
6014What are you doing here?
6015
60161276
601701:06:40,667 --> 01:06:42,082
6018Are you coming out?
6019
60201277
602101:06:42,083 --> 01:06:44,541
6022No, no, no, no. I've always
6023supported gay rights.
6024
60251278
602601:06:44,542 --> 01:06:46,750
6027I'm not coming out.
6028He is.
6029
60301279
603101:06:49,291 --> 01:06:50,874
6032Closet case. Very sad.
6033
60341280
603501:06:50,875 --> 01:06:51,995
6036Are you talking about me?
6037No.
6038
60391281
604001:06:55,125 --> 01:06:57,416
6041Don't hide who you really are.
6042Be brave.
6043
60441282
604501:06:57,417 --> 01:06:59,999
6046Here you go.
6047It's a freedom-ring necklace.
6048
60491283
605001:07:00,000 --> 01:07:01,542
6051Wear it with pride.
6052
60531284
605401:07:03,750 --> 01:07:06,624
6055Watch out.
6056Come here.
6057
60581285
605901:07:06,625 --> 01:07:09,290
6060What's wrong, ladies?
6061I don't think you can
6062help much, Dorothy,
6063
60641286
606501:07:09,291 --> 01:07:12,165
6066unless you and your
6067ruby slippers can get
6068us to Cuyahoga Falls.
6069
60701287
607101:07:12,166 --> 01:07:13,958
6072No.
6073
60741288
607501:07:13,959 --> 01:07:16,199
6076But I have some friends who
6077might be able to lend a hand.
6078
60791289
608001:07:45,291 --> 01:07:46,792
6081(BEEPING)
6082
60831290
608401:07:47,458 --> 01:07:48,791
6085(BUZZER)
6086
60871291
608801:07:48,792 --> 01:07:50,457
6089You know,
6090after that bike ride
6091
60921292
609301:07:50,458 --> 01:07:52,791
6094I think I'm changing
6095my position on an
6096important issue.
6097
60981293
609901:07:52,792 --> 01:07:54,707
6100Yeah?
6101
61021294
610301:07:54,708 --> 01:07:56,989
6104I think the military
6105can definitely use
6106some of those gals.
6107
61081295
610901:07:57,125 --> 01:08:00,290
6110Now, is this impressive,
6111or what?
6112
61131296
611401:08:00,291 --> 01:08:02,457
6115Research room
6116is down that way.
6117Uh-huh.
6118
61191297
612001:08:02,458 --> 01:08:04,290
6121Wait a minute.
6122
61231298
612401:08:04,291 --> 01:08:05,792
6125Hmm-hmm-hmm.
6126
61271299
612801:08:07,291 --> 01:08:10,290
6129Oh, my, oh, my.
6130
61311300
613201:08:10,291 --> 01:08:11,499
6133Uh-huh.
6134
61351301
613601:08:11,500 --> 01:08:12,999
6137DOUGLAS:
6138How about this?
6139
61401302
614101:08:13,000 --> 01:08:14,708
6142Huh? Ha ha.
6143
61441303
614501:08:16,041 --> 01:08:18,666
6146Oh, yeah. Uh-huh.
6147
61481304
614901:08:18,667 --> 01:08:21,165
6150Oh, you gotta be kidding.
6151
61521305
615301:08:21,166 --> 01:08:23,249
6154KRAMER: Our dreams
6155are like our children.
6156
61571306
615801:08:23,250 --> 01:08:25,332
6159Huh?
6160
61611307
616201:08:25,333 --> 01:08:28,666
6163Don't you fall into the trap.
6164Democrats are full of crap.
6165
61661308
616701:08:28,667 --> 01:08:30,827
6168Anything you really like,
6169I can get it for you at cost.
6170
61711309
617201:08:31,667 --> 01:08:34,290
6173I feel dirty.
6174
61751310
617601:08:34,291 --> 01:08:35,791
6177DOUGLAS:
6178Have you found it yet?
6179
61801311
618101:08:35,792 --> 01:08:38,165
6182Working on it. Hey,
6183there's something
6184you never got.
6185
61861312
618701:08:38,166 --> 01:08:40,374
6188I was Time
6189magazine's
6190"man of the year."
6191
61921313
619301:08:40,375 --> 01:08:42,375
6194So was Hitler.
6195Not twice.
6196
61971314
619801:08:43,333 --> 01:08:45,624
6199Hey! Here it is.
6200
62011315
620201:08:45,625 --> 01:08:48,791
6203"Chef's log, October 14th,
6204lunch. Oval office,"
6205
62061316
620701:08:48,792 --> 01:08:50,958
6208"President Kramer
6209and Charles Reynolds,"
6210
62111317
621201:08:50,959 --> 01:08:53,999
6213"ham and cheese omelets,
6214$6.95 each."
6215
62161318
621701:08:54,000 --> 01:08:55,333
6218What the...
6219
62201319
622101:08:58,542 --> 01:09:01,375
6222Where's Haney?
6223He isn't here.
6224
62251320
622601:09:03,834 --> 01:09:05,582
6227They must have
6228fixed this book, too.
6229
62301321
623101:09:05,583 --> 01:09:06,916
6232They knew we were coming.
6233
62341322
623501:09:06,917 --> 01:09:09,582
6236(CREAKING)
6237Where's your gun?
6238
62391323
624001:09:09,583 --> 01:09:12,250
6241Oh, I have it...
6242In my coat.
6243
62441324
624501:09:14,083 --> 01:09:15,708
6246Get that light.
6247
62481325
624901:09:34,917 --> 01:09:37,082
6250Hey, great job, Douglas!
6251
62521326
625301:09:37,083 --> 01:09:38,874
6254Oh, God, it's Ben.
6255
62561327
625701:09:38,875 --> 01:09:40,249
6258(GROANS)
6259
62601328
626101:09:40,250 --> 01:09:41,958
6262Hurry up with the ice.
6263
62641329
626501:09:41,959 --> 01:09:44,916
6266Excuse me. I don't know
6267my way around "Kramer world."
6268
62691330
627001:09:44,917 --> 01:09:46,874
6271Lucky for you, Ben,
6272we came along when we did.
6273
62741331
627501:09:46,875 --> 01:09:48,541
6276You were in a pretty bad way.
6277
62781332
627901:09:48,542 --> 01:09:51,916
6280I can't say that I can recall
6281that ever happening before.
6282
62831333
628401:09:51,917 --> 01:09:55,958
6285A book just falling off
6286a shelf like that.
6287
62881334
628901:09:55,959 --> 01:09:58,749
6290Ben, is there any way someone
6291could have broken in here
6292
62931335
629401:09:58,750 --> 01:09:59,916
6295without you knowing?
6296
62971336
629801:09:59,917 --> 01:10:01,916
6299No, sir.
6300Not on my shift.
6301
63021337
630301:10:01,917 --> 01:10:03,833
6304Oh, I just remembered...
6305
63061338
630701:10:03,834 --> 01:10:05,999
6308A young lady gave me
6309an envelope for you.
6310
63111339
631201:10:06,000 --> 01:10:07,582
6313Told me to be sure
6314you got it.
6315
63161340
631701:10:07,583 --> 01:10:11,082
6318I think she said she was
6319a friend from Washington.
6320
63211341
632201:10:11,083 --> 01:10:13,457
6323Washington?
6324What the heck is this?
6325
63261342
632701:10:13,458 --> 01:10:17,165
6328"Dear Mr. President,
6329my name is Kathleen Taylor."
6330
63311343
633201:10:17,166 --> 01:10:20,457
6333"I'm Charles Reynolds'
6334secretary."
6335
63361344
633701:10:20,458 --> 01:10:23,165
6338"Mr. Reynolds has disappeared."
6339
63401345
634101:10:23,166 --> 01:10:24,749
6342"I don't know who to turn to."
6343
63441346
634501:10:24,750 --> 01:10:26,749
6346"The last people he spoke with
6347were you,"
6348
63491347
635001:10:26,750 --> 01:10:29,791
6351"President Douglas,
6352and Carl Witnaur."
6353
63541348
635501:10:29,792 --> 01:10:31,374
6356DOUGLAS: Witnaur?
6357
63581349
635901:10:31,375 --> 01:10:33,749
6360Haney's chief of staff.
6361That son of a bitch.
6362
63631350
636401:10:33,750 --> 01:10:36,624
6365He lives just outside of D.C.
6366in Chevy Chase.
6367
63681351
636901:10:36,625 --> 01:10:38,791
6370I was there a couple
6371months ago
6372for a dinner he threw.
6373
63741352
637501:10:38,792 --> 01:10:40,582
6376My God
6377did he put on a spread.
6378
63791353
638001:10:40,583 --> 01:10:42,833
6381Those little chicken livers
6382with the bacon wrapped
6383around them
6384
63851354
638601:10:42,834 --> 01:10:45,457
6387and the toothpick,
6388and the dip for the broccoli...
6389
63901355
639101:10:45,458 --> 01:10:46,958
6392Could you focus, please?
6393
63941356
639501:10:46,959 --> 01:10:50,207
6396I'm sorry.
6397Look, if we left...
6398
63991357
640001:10:50,208 --> 01:10:53,290
6401If we left now, we could
6402get there by
6403early morning, huh?
6404
64051358
640601:10:53,291 --> 01:10:55,666
6407Ben, we're gonna need
6408to borrow your car.
6409Is that okay?
6410
64111359
641201:10:55,667 --> 01:10:56,874
6413Do I have a choice?
6414No.
6415
64161360
641701:10:56,875 --> 01:10:58,667
6418Then it's okay.
6419Thank you.
6420
64211361
642201:11:17,000 --> 01:11:19,499
6423(GIGGLES)
6424
64251362
642601:11:19,500 --> 01:11:20,958
6427Oooh!
6428
64291363
643001:11:20,959 --> 01:11:22,166
6431Carl!
6432
64331364
643401:11:23,500 --> 01:11:25,666
6435Oh, ahh!
6436
64371365
643801:11:25,667 --> 01:11:28,332
6439WITNAUR: Ow, ow, ow, honey,
6440honey, you're hurting me.
6441
64421366
644301:11:28,333 --> 01:11:29,541
6444DOUGLAS:
6445Better her than me, Carl.
6446
64471367
644801:11:29,542 --> 01:11:31,833
6449This is President Douglas,
6450I'm with President Kramer,
6451
64521368
645301:11:31,834 --> 01:11:33,707
6454and that's a gun
6455pressed against your head.
6456
64571369
645801:11:33,708 --> 01:11:35,333
6459Well, I'm assuming
6460that's your head.
6461
64621370
646301:11:36,625 --> 01:11:39,374
6464(MUMBLING)
6465
64661371
646701:11:39,375 --> 01:11:43,541
6468This is unbelievable.
6469How dare you?
6470
64711372
647201:11:43,542 --> 01:11:45,874
6473KRAMER: Look, Witnaur,
6474we're gonna ask
6475this just once.
6476
64771373
647801:11:45,875 --> 01:11:48,416
6479What is Olympia,
6480and who is behind it?
6481
64821374
648301:11:48,417 --> 01:11:49,937
6484I don't know
6485what you're talking about.
6486
64871375
648801:11:50,417 --> 01:11:51,417
6489Okay.
6490
64911376
649201:11:59,542 --> 01:12:00,542
6493(KNOCK ON DOOR)
6494
64951377
649601:12:06,583 --> 01:12:09,541
6497Matt!
6498I'm damn glad to see you.
6499
65001378
650101:12:09,542 --> 01:12:11,374
6502Yeah, well, it's good
6503to see you, too, Joe.
6504
65051379
650601:12:11,375 --> 01:12:14,165
6507Joe, we could use
6508a little help out here.
6509
65101380
651101:12:14,166 --> 01:12:16,374
6512Wait a minute...
6513
65141381
651501:12:16,375 --> 01:12:18,082
6516Is that President Kramer
6517holding a gun
6518
65191382
652001:12:18,083 --> 01:12:20,582
6521on a naked
6522guy in a blindfold?
6523
65241383
652501:12:20,583 --> 01:12:21,708
6526Yeah.
6527
65281384
652901:12:23,625 --> 01:12:24,917
6530Well, come on in.
6531
65321385
653301:12:29,083 --> 01:12:31,040
6534Carl, my CIA buddies
6535
65361386
653701:12:31,041 --> 01:12:32,958
6538were clueless
6539about what you were up to,
6540
65411387
654201:12:32,959 --> 01:12:35,290
6543but they gave me something
6544just for this occasion.
6545
65461388
654701:12:35,291 --> 01:12:37,958
6548So, my boy,
6549I hope this goes well.
6550
65511389
655201:12:37,959 --> 01:12:39,416
6553It's all brand-new to me.
6554
65551390
655601:12:39,417 --> 01:12:42,624
6557I'm not even sure
6558about the dosage,
6559
65601391
656101:12:42,625 --> 01:12:45,749
6562but what do you say
6563we wing it, huh?
6564
65651392
656601:12:45,750 --> 01:12:48,999
6567Go to hell.
6568You don't scare me.
6569I'm not trying to scare you.
6570
65711393
657201:12:49,000 --> 01:12:50,249
6573I don't think
6574we want to see this.
6575
65761394
657701:12:50,250 --> 01:12:52,083
6578KRAMER:
6579Enjoy the ride, Witnaur.
6580
65811395
658201:12:58,792 --> 01:13:01,125
6583(WHISTLING)
6584
65851396
658601:13:04,333 --> 01:13:05,791
6587(GASPS)
6588
65891397
659001:13:05,792 --> 01:13:08,624
6591Dang vein.
6592Keeps wanting to jump around.
6593
65941398
659501:13:08,625 --> 01:13:10,958
6596Oh, there he is.
6597You little beggar.
6598
65991399
660001:13:10,959 --> 01:13:12,624
6601There it is.
6602
66031400
660401:13:12,625 --> 01:13:14,582
6605Okay! I'll talk!
6606Okay! Okay!
6607
66081401
660901:13:14,583 --> 01:13:17,125
6610I'll talk.
6611I like to talk.
6612
66131402
661401:13:19,000 --> 01:13:21,290
6615It's amazing.
6616
66171403
661801:13:21,291 --> 01:13:23,958
6619Look, Haney had to find a way
6620to spin dry the
6621kickback money,
6622
66231404
662401:13:23,959 --> 01:13:25,791
6625that's where Olympia came in.
6626
66271405
662801:13:25,792 --> 01:13:27,666
6629It was a front company,
6630that's all.
6631
66321406
663301:13:27,667 --> 01:13:30,249
6634And again, I never ordered
6635anyone to kill you.
6636
66371407
663801:13:30,250 --> 01:13:31,666
6639Yeah, but you did order
6640the cover-up.
6641
66421408
664301:13:31,667 --> 01:13:33,290
6644Yes.
6645
66461409
664701:13:33,291 --> 01:13:36,874
6648The appointment log
6649at the national archives,
6650
66511410
665201:13:36,875 --> 01:13:39,416
6653the book in your library,
6654
66551411
665601:13:39,417 --> 01:13:41,624
6657all that was done
6658at my request.
6659
66601412
666101:13:41,625 --> 01:13:43,290
6662DOUGLAS:
6663What about Charlie Reynolds?
6664
66651413
666601:13:43,291 --> 01:13:44,874
6667Were you in charge
6668of taking care of him?
6669
66701414
667101:13:44,875 --> 01:13:46,875
6672No. I never ordered anyone
6673to kill Reynolds.
6674
66751415
667601:13:50,291 --> 01:13:52,666
6677Who said Charlie was dead?
6678
66791416
668001:13:52,667 --> 01:13:54,999
6681Okay, look, Tanner...
6682
66831417
668401:13:55,000 --> 01:13:57,874
6685I'm telling you,
6686it was Tanner.
6687This guy is out of control.
6688
66891418
669001:13:57,875 --> 01:13:59,707
6691Oh, that's a lot of bull!
6692
66931419
669401:13:59,708 --> 01:14:02,290
6695You're saying that you got
6696a rogue agent turned hit man
6697
66981420
669901:14:02,291 --> 01:14:04,457
6700in your ranks?
6701Well, I don't believe it!
6702
67031421
670401:14:04,458 --> 01:14:07,082
6705You ordered Tanner
6706to put us on that chopper,
6707
67081422
670901:14:07,083 --> 01:14:08,541
6710and you pushed the button!
6711
67121423
671301:14:08,542 --> 01:14:10,082
6714Chopper?
6715
67161424
671701:14:10,083 --> 01:14:11,792
6718What chopper?
6719
67201425
672101:14:16,667 --> 01:14:18,999
6722HOLLIS: Looks like Tanner's
6723been getting his
6724marching orders
6725
67261426
672701:14:19,000 --> 01:14:21,416
6728directly from Haney.
6729DOUGLAS: What do we
6730do now, Joe?
6731
67321427
673301:14:21,417 --> 01:14:22,999
6734Well, you got
6735a couple of options.
6736
67371428
673801:14:23,000 --> 01:14:24,290
6739You can go
6740to the White House,
6741
67421429
674301:14:24,291 --> 01:14:26,416
6744and tell Haney
6745you know about Olympia.
6746
67471430
674801:14:26,417 --> 01:14:28,541
6749Of course, to get to him,
6750you gotta go through Tanner.
6751
67521431
675301:14:28,542 --> 01:14:29,874
6754Now, Tanner's probably
6755gonna kill you.
6756
67571432
675801:14:29,875 --> 01:14:32,165
6759Oh, that's a hell
6760of an option.
6761What's the other one?
6762
67631433
676401:14:32,166 --> 01:14:33,582
6765You got a confession on tape.
6766
67671434
676801:14:33,583 --> 01:14:35,416
6769Stop running.
6770Go to the press.
6771
67721435
677301:14:35,417 --> 01:14:36,707
6774I'll call Kaye,
6775
67761436
677701:14:36,708 --> 01:14:39,917
6778and by noon Washington will be
6779up to its knees in Olympia.
6780
67811437
678201:14:42,041 --> 01:14:43,083
6783Call her?
6784
67851438
678601:14:44,708 --> 01:14:46,290
6787Yeah.
6788
67891439
679001:14:46,291 --> 01:14:48,707
6791You're doing the smart thing,
6792gentlemen.
6793
67941440
679501:14:48,708 --> 01:14:50,249
6796(SIGHS)
6797
67981441
679901:14:50,250 --> 01:14:51,707
6800Damn.
6801
68021442
680301:14:51,708 --> 01:14:54,040
6804Damn!
6805What?
6806
68071443
680801:14:54,041 --> 01:14:57,499
6809Oh, if we go public,
6810there will only be
6811another cover-up.
6812
68131444
681401:14:57,500 --> 01:14:59,958
6815Bureaucrats like Witnaur
6816might pay a price,
6817
68181445
681901:14:59,959 --> 01:15:01,666
6820but the big fish
6821is gonna get away.
6822
68231446
682401:15:01,667 --> 01:15:04,082
6825Are we really willing
6826to let that happen?
6827
68281447
682901:15:04,083 --> 01:15:05,749
6830We've done enough already.
6831
68321448
683301:15:05,750 --> 01:15:07,416
6834Oh, no. No.
6835
68361449
683701:15:07,417 --> 01:15:09,541
6838No, I've made a career
6839out of doing enough.
6840
68411450
684201:15:09,542 --> 01:15:11,958
6843I always did just enough
6844not to piss anybody off,
6845
68461451
684701:15:11,959 --> 01:15:13,874
6848'cause a pissed-off somebody
6849won't vote for you.
6850
68511452
685201:15:13,875 --> 01:15:15,874
6853That's all
6854part of the game.
6855Right.
6856
68571453
685801:15:15,875 --> 01:15:17,874
6859Well, tell that to Wayne
6860and Genny and their kids
6861
68621454
686301:15:17,875 --> 01:15:19,874
6864living in their car.
6865
68661455
686701:15:19,875 --> 01:15:22,624
6868"I'm sorry things are tough,
6869but I've been
6870playing the game."
6871
68721456
687301:15:22,625 --> 01:15:24,582
6874Well, I can't play it anymore,
6875Russell.
6876
68771457
687801:15:24,583 --> 01:15:26,749
6879I'm going to see Haney.
6880Hold on, Rambo.
6881
68821458
688301:15:26,750 --> 01:15:29,124
6884Remember what Joe said?
6885You can't get past Tanner.
6886
68871459
688801:15:29,125 --> 01:15:30,416
6889I don't care. I'm going.
6890
68911460
689201:15:30,417 --> 01:15:32,208
6893Well, you're a damn fool.
6894
68951461
689601:15:35,375 --> 01:15:36,999
6897Yeah.
6898
68991462
690001:15:37,000 --> 01:15:38,250
6901You're probably right.
6902
69031463
690401:15:39,333 --> 01:15:40,707
6905But you know something?
6906
69071464
690801:15:40,708 --> 01:15:42,874
6909Somewhere out there
6910there's another fool,
6911
69121465
691301:15:42,875 --> 01:15:47,458
6914some idealistic sucker
6915who still believes in us.
6916
69171466
691801:15:49,500 --> 01:15:53,082
6919After all the scandals,
6920and the party politics,
6921
69221467
692301:15:53,083 --> 01:15:55,040
6924and all the bull,
6925
69261468
692701:15:55,041 --> 01:15:57,416
6928there's somebody out there
6929who still believes
6930that we care,
6931
69321469
693301:15:57,417 --> 01:15:59,582
6934that we would do
6935what we promised to do,
6936
69371470
693801:15:59,583 --> 01:16:01,332
6939and that's what I'm doing now,
6940Russell.
6941
69421471
694301:16:01,333 --> 01:16:03,082
6944I'm doing what I promised.
6945
69461472
694701:16:03,083 --> 01:16:05,457
6948Preserve,
6949protect, and defend.
6950
69511473
695201:16:05,458 --> 01:16:08,582
6953Because if we lose
6954that idealistic,
6955
69561474
695701:16:08,583 --> 01:16:12,834
6958gloriously diluted fool out
6959there, hey, it's all over.
6960
69611475
696201:16:15,458 --> 01:16:18,624
6963Thank God you never spoke
6964like this during our debates.
6965
69661476
696701:16:18,625 --> 01:16:20,625
6968My margin of loss
6969would have been staggering.
6970
69711477
697201:16:24,166 --> 01:16:26,124
6973All right.
6974
69751478
697601:16:26,125 --> 01:16:28,666
6977Let's do it.
6978Are you sure?
6979
69801479
698101:16:28,667 --> 01:16:31,290
6982If I can ride 300 miles
6983at top speed
6984
69851480
698601:16:31,291 --> 01:16:34,374
6987with my hands on
6988a lesbian's midsection,
6989I can handle Tanner.
6990
69911481
699201:16:34,375 --> 01:16:36,040
6993Now, hold on,
6994hold on a minute.
6995
69961482
699701:16:36,041 --> 01:16:39,040
6998If we do get to Haney, how can
6999we be sure he'll cooperate?
7000
70011483
700201:16:39,041 --> 01:16:41,124
7003I'm bringing Mr. Witnaur
7004with us.
7005
70061484
700701:16:41,125 --> 01:16:43,249
7008Learn from the master.
7009
70101485
701101:16:43,250 --> 01:16:46,124
7012Gentlemen,
7013Kaye's on her way over now.
7014
70151486
701601:16:46,125 --> 01:16:47,874
7017Change of plans, Joe.
7018
70191487
702001:16:47,875 --> 01:16:50,208
7021Mr. Kramer and Mr. Douglas
7022are going to Washington.
7023
70241488
702501:17:00,333 --> 01:17:02,582
7026MAN: Kramer and Douglas
7027broke into Witnaur's
7028house last night
7029
70301489
703101:17:02,583 --> 01:17:04,374
7032and kidnapped him.
7033
70341490
703501:17:04,375 --> 01:17:05,999
7036And we're just now
7037hearing about it?
7038
70391491
704001:17:06,000 --> 01:17:08,416
7041His lady called
7042the White House operator
7043in a panic.
7044
70451492
704601:17:08,417 --> 01:17:10,374
7047They thought it was a prank.
7048Enough.
7049
70501493
705101:17:10,375 --> 01:17:11,833
7052We better button-up
7053the White House.
7054
70551494
705601:17:11,834 --> 01:17:14,708
7057If they get to the president,
7058the game's over.
7059
70601495
706101:17:27,083 --> 01:17:29,416
7062Morning, Rita.
7063How you doing, Don?
7064
70651496
706601:17:29,417 --> 01:17:32,541
7067I'd be doing a lot better
7068if I was getting some of
7069your blueberry muffins.
7070
70711497
707201:17:32,542 --> 01:17:35,250
7073Soon as I tend
7074to the president
7075I'll see what I can do.
7076
70771498
707801:17:36,333 --> 01:17:37,707
7079What do you got back here?
7080
70811499
708201:17:37,708 --> 01:17:39,874
7083Picked up a whole lot
7084of fresh produce
7085
70861500
708701:17:39,875 --> 01:17:41,874
7088at the farmer's market
7089this morning.
7090
70911501
709201:17:41,875 --> 01:17:43,000
7093Have a peak if you'd like.
7094
70951502
709601:17:44,708 --> 01:17:45,874
7097That's okay, Rita.
7098
70991503
710001:17:45,875 --> 01:17:46,999
7101You have a good one.
7102
71031504
710401:17:47,000 --> 01:17:48,041
7105Thanks, Don.
7106
71071505
710801:17:55,083 --> 01:17:57,582
7109Rita...
7110"Have a peak if you'd like"?
7111
71121506
711301:17:57,583 --> 01:17:59,165
7114You're lucky
7115I didn't have a stroke.
7116
71171507
711801:17:59,166 --> 01:18:00,666
7119Wasn't that a little risky,
7120Rita?
7121
71221508
712301:18:00,667 --> 01:18:02,833
7124Mr. Presidents,
7125please, hush up.
7126
71271509
712801:18:02,834 --> 01:18:04,554
7129As long as you're in my car,
7130you're produce.
7131
71321510
713301:18:08,583 --> 01:18:09,583
7134Mr. President.
7135
71361511
713701:18:10,417 --> 01:18:11,417
7138We're ready, sir.
7139
71401512
714101:18:13,542 --> 01:18:15,040
7142The ceremony
7143on the south lawn
7144
71451513
714601:18:15,041 --> 01:18:17,001
7147honoring the Dutch resistance
7148during World War II.
7149
71501514
715101:18:17,750 --> 01:18:19,040
7152Highlight of my day.
7153
71541515
715501:18:19,041 --> 01:18:21,499
7156Who cares about
7157the damn Dutch, anyway?
7158
71591516
716001:18:21,500 --> 01:18:23,749
7161Is Vice President Matthews
7162going to this thing?
7163
71641517
716501:18:23,750 --> 01:18:25,082
7166Yes, sir.
7167
71681518
716901:18:25,083 --> 01:18:27,249
7170Well, let's avoid a possible
7171embarrassment, shall we?
7172
71731519
717401:18:27,250 --> 01:18:29,749
7175Remind him that these people
7176are from the Netherlands,
7177
71781520
717901:18:29,750 --> 01:18:30,875
7180and not the nether regions.
7181
71821521
718301:18:32,083 --> 01:18:34,082
7184Oh, and, uh...
7185
71861522
718701:18:34,083 --> 01:18:35,791
7188Have we heard
7189from Witnaur yet?
7190
71911523
719201:18:35,792 --> 01:18:37,792
7193No, Mr. President.
7194All right. Thank you.
7195
71961524
719701:18:40,250 --> 01:18:41,749
7198(DOOR CLOSES)
7199
72001525
720101:18:41,750 --> 01:18:44,499
7202WOMAN: Gather 'round,
7203everyone.
7204The tour's about to begin.
7205
72061526
720701:18:44,500 --> 01:18:47,082
7208That's it. Come on in. come on
7209in here in the back. Welcome.
7210
72111527
721201:18:47,083 --> 01:18:49,082
7213Oh, great.
7214We can't go that way.
7215
72161528
721701:18:49,083 --> 01:18:52,124
7218A million people come through
7219the White House every year.
7220
72211529
722201:18:52,125 --> 01:18:54,417
7223Better smile. They're gonna
7224know we're here in 10 seconds.
7225
72261530
722701:18:55,583 --> 01:18:56,792
7228Come on.
7229Huh?
7230
72311531
723201:18:58,625 --> 01:19:00,791
7233Hi, everyone,
7234you ready for the tour?
7235
72361532
723701:19:00,792 --> 01:19:03,624
7238What the hell are you doing?
7239This is the only way
7240we're gonna get to Haney.
7241
72421533
724301:19:03,625 --> 01:19:06,124
7244Mr. President,
7245and Mr. President.
7246
72471534
724801:19:06,125 --> 01:19:08,249
7249You know, folks,
7250the tour guides are
7251the hardest-working people
7252
72531535
725401:19:08,250 --> 01:19:11,290
7255in the White House,
7256and, as our way of
7257saying thank you,
7258
72591536
726001:19:11,291 --> 01:19:14,082
7261President Kramer and I are
7262gonna lead your tour
7263ourselves.
7264
72651537
726601:19:14,083 --> 01:19:15,125
7267We're what?
7268
72691538
727001:19:16,041 --> 01:19:17,874
7271The Oval Office.
7272
72731539
727401:19:17,875 --> 01:19:20,499
7275Oh, hey, yeah! Who knows this
7276place better than we do, huh?
7277
72781540
727901:19:20,500 --> 01:19:22,040
7280(LAUGHTER)
7281
72821541
728301:19:22,041 --> 01:19:24,374
7284Okay, let's go, everybody.
7285Gather 'round.
7286
72871542
728801:19:24,375 --> 01:19:26,666
7289Follow your presidents.
7290
72911543
729201:19:26,667 --> 01:19:27,999
7293Come along.
7294
72951544
729601:19:28,000 --> 01:19:29,500
7297This is gonna be fun for you.
7298
72991545
730001:19:34,000 --> 01:19:36,999
7301Sir, they're in.
7302
73031546
730401:19:37,000 --> 01:19:38,582
7305How?
7306They used the tour.
7307
73081547
730901:19:38,583 --> 01:19:40,124
7310Okay,
7311this is the green room.
7312
73131548
731401:19:40,125 --> 01:19:41,499
7315It's a room.
7316It's green.
7317
73181549
731901:19:41,500 --> 01:19:43,040
7320Hence the name.
7321Any questions?
7322
73231550
732401:19:43,041 --> 01:19:44,321
7325Not from me.
7326Okay, then shall we?
7327
73281551
732901:19:45,333 --> 01:19:46,250
7330WOMAN: That's it?
7331
73321552
733301:19:46,251 --> 01:19:48,290
7334Go, go, go.
7335
73361553
733701:19:48,291 --> 01:19:50,416
7338We grab them as soon as we can
7339and carry them out tonight.
7340
73411554
734201:19:50,417 --> 01:19:52,582
7343A lot of people
7344have seen them here.
7345
73461555
734701:19:52,583 --> 01:19:55,749
7348The cover still works.
7349They met here and they took
7350the chopper to the ceremonies
7351
73521556
735301:19:55,750 --> 01:19:57,550
7354where the president
7355was gonna meet them later.
7356
73571557
735801:20:00,708 --> 01:20:02,457
7359The crash site
7360is still secure.
7361
73621558
736301:20:02,458 --> 01:20:04,518
7364All we have to do is adjust
7365the time of the accident.
7366
73671559
736801:20:04,542 --> 01:20:06,040
7369It could work.
7370
73711560
737201:20:06,041 --> 01:20:07,801
7373Call Haney. As soon as
7374you get them, call me.
7375
73761561
737701:20:11,208 --> 01:20:13,541
7378We occasionally use this as
7379a shortcut to the Oval Office.
7380
73811562
738201:20:13,542 --> 01:20:15,040
7383Let's pick up the pace, eh?
7384
73851563
738601:20:15,041 --> 01:20:16,583
7387The older folks
7388are dragging us down.
7389
73901564
739101:20:22,834 --> 01:20:25,207
7392MAN: We're covering
7393all of the exits,
7394
73951565
739601:20:25,208 --> 01:20:27,088
7397there's no way they can
7398get out of the building.
7399
74001566
740101:20:28,083 --> 01:20:29,165
7402There they are!
7403
74041567
740501:20:29,166 --> 01:20:30,500
7406Guest quarters.
7407Mr. President!
7408
74091568
741001:20:40,792 --> 01:20:43,124
7411Mr. Presidents,
7412please unlock the door.
7413
74141569
741501:20:43,125 --> 01:20:45,582
7416Come on.
7417That desk belonged to
7418Thomas Jefferson.
7419
74201570
742101:20:45,583 --> 01:20:48,541
7422The declaration of
7423independence could have
7424been written on that thing.
7425
74261571
742701:20:48,542 --> 01:20:51,999
7428Well, Tom isn't here to help
7429me pick it up,
7430so move your ass!
7431
74321572
743301:20:52,000 --> 01:20:54,582
7434MAN:
7435Mr. Presidents, please!
7436
74371573
743801:20:54,583 --> 01:20:55,999
7439When we think of
7440the Netherlands,
7441
74421574
744301:20:56,000 --> 01:20:58,749
7444no doubt most of us
7445have images
7446of a tranquil land...
7447
74481575
744901:20:58,750 --> 01:21:00,958
7450(TELEPHONE RINGS)
7451Yes?
7452
74531576
745401:21:00,959 --> 01:21:02,541
7455Good.
7456
74571577
745801:21:02,542 --> 01:21:05,916
7459Secure the room, but do not
7460move in till I get there.
7461
74621578
746301:21:05,917 --> 01:21:07,625
7464And, Wilkerson,
7465call the press.
7466
74671579
746801:21:13,125 --> 01:21:15,707
7469I found Haney.
7470He's on the south lawn.
7471
74721580
747301:21:15,708 --> 01:21:17,165
7474I don't like this at all.
7475
74761581
747701:21:17,166 --> 01:21:20,124
7478They've had us pinned in here
7479for 15 minutes.
7480
74811582
748201:21:20,125 --> 01:21:21,624
7483What the hell are they doing?
7484
74851583
748601:21:21,625 --> 01:21:23,207
7487Preparing for our funeral.
7488What?
7489
74901584
749101:21:23,208 --> 01:21:26,290
7492WOMAN: The report came in just
7493minutes ago from
7494the White House.
7495
74961585
749701:21:26,291 --> 01:21:28,249
7498The helicopter went down
7499somewhere over
7500
75011586
750201:21:28,250 --> 01:21:30,624
7503the blue ridge mountains
7504of North Carolina.
7505
75061587
750701:21:30,625 --> 01:21:33,791
7508President Kramer
7509and President Douglas
7510were reportedly on board.
7511
75121588
751301:21:33,792 --> 01:21:35,333
7514Search teams
7515are speeding to the area.
7516
75171589
751801:21:44,083 --> 01:21:45,125
7519Phone's dead.
7520
75211590
752201:21:46,417 --> 01:21:48,290
7523What are you doing?
7524
75251591
752601:21:48,291 --> 01:21:50,999
7527During my years here,
7528one of the butlers
7529told me about
7530
75311592
753201:21:51,000 --> 01:21:53,582
7533a secret door that was
7534supposed to be in this room.
7535
75361593
753701:21:53,583 --> 01:21:55,457
7538The Kennedy door he called it.
7539
75401594
754101:21:55,458 --> 01:21:57,582
7542I think it was just
7543one of those stories.
7544
75451595
754601:21:57,583 --> 01:21:59,083
7547Russell, it's over here.
7548
75491596
755001:22:01,166 --> 01:22:02,667
7551I almost forgot.
7552Uh-huh.
7553
75541597
755501:22:07,875 --> 01:22:09,874
7556What are you looking at?
7557
75581598
755901:22:09,875 --> 01:22:11,791
7560Have you been down to that
7561farmer's market lately?
7562
75631599
756401:22:11,792 --> 01:22:13,791
7565It's brutal.
7566
75671600
756801:22:13,792 --> 01:22:17,833
7569I used this thing for a couple
7570of midnight rendezvous.
7571
75721601
757301:22:17,834 --> 01:22:19,999
7574Oh, I'll never forget
7575this one girl.
7576
75771602
757801:22:20,000 --> 01:22:21,999
7579She was a stewardess
7580with Pan Am...
7581
75821603
758301:22:22,000 --> 01:22:24,374
7584I don't need to hear this.
7585She was also a contortionist.
7586
75871604
758801:22:24,375 --> 01:22:26,082
7589Go on.
7590
75911605
759201:22:26,083 --> 01:22:27,332
7593Later.
7594
75951606
759601:22:27,333 --> 01:22:28,893
7597Right now
7598we gotta get to that ceremony.
7599
76001607
760101:22:32,083 --> 01:22:34,416
7602If we can get ourselves
7603seen on TV,
7604
76051608
760601:22:34,417 --> 01:22:37,958
7607then everyone's gonna
7608know we're not dead
7609in North Carolina,
7610
76111609
761201:22:37,959 --> 01:22:39,291
7613and Tanner is out of business.
7614
76151610
761601:22:41,667 --> 01:22:42,667
7617Break it down.
7618
76191611
762001:22:48,208 --> 01:22:49,208
7621DOUGLAS: Come on!
7622
76231612
762401:22:54,708 --> 01:22:56,208
7625Where the hell are they?
7626
76271613
762801:22:58,458 --> 01:22:59,874
7629Come on.
7630Hurry up.
7631
76321614
763301:22:59,875 --> 01:23:01,582
7634Be glad I'm not Gerry Ford.
7635
76361615
763701:23:01,583 --> 01:23:03,623
7638We'd be lying in a heap
7639at the bottom of the stairs.
7640
76411616
764201:23:07,417 --> 01:23:09,207
7643It's been a while,
7644
76451617
764601:23:09,208 --> 01:23:11,434
7647but I think the way out is
7648straight down and to the left.
7649
76501618
765101:23:11,458 --> 01:23:13,541
7652This whole thing is crazy.
7653
76541619
765501:23:13,542 --> 01:23:15,374
7656You know what I can't figure?
7657
76581620
765901:23:15,375 --> 01:23:18,582
7660How does a twisted psycho like
7661Tanner end up in the N.S.A?
7662
76631621
766401:23:18,583 --> 01:23:21,750
7665I know. Why isn't he in the
7666postal service
7667where he belongs?
7668
76691622
767001:23:23,750 --> 01:23:26,416
7671Oh, great.
7672"Down and to the left."
7673
76741623
767501:23:26,417 --> 01:23:28,625
7676Oh, cork it! It's not
7677the end of the world,
7678you know?
7679
76801624
768101:23:30,250 --> 01:23:31,916
7682Hello, sirs.
7683
76841625
768501:23:31,917 --> 01:23:34,374
7686No need for concern,
7687it's only me.
7688
76891626
769001:23:34,375 --> 01:23:36,082
7691The twisted psycho.
7692
76931627
769401:23:36,083 --> 01:23:38,582
7695We're not gonna have
7696a long chat.
7697
76981628
769901:23:38,583 --> 01:23:40,249
7700In fact,
7701I don't think I could stand
7702
77031629
770401:23:40,250 --> 01:23:42,499
7705to listen to either one of you
7706another second.
7707
77081630
770901:23:42,500 --> 01:23:43,541
7710I'm just gonna kill you.
7711
77121631
771301:23:43,542 --> 01:23:45,874
7714So, who goes first?
7715
77161632
771701:23:45,875 --> 01:23:48,583
7718The old man
7719or the ladies' man?
7720
77211633
772201:23:54,792 --> 01:23:56,124
7723Nice work, Russell.
7724
77251634
772601:23:56,125 --> 01:23:57,916
7727Thank you.
7728
77291635
773001:23:57,917 --> 01:24:00,750
7731I've got to change my shorts
7732now.
7733
77341636
773501:24:08,792 --> 01:24:10,625
7736Pennsylvania Avenue
7737is almost clear, sir.
7738
77391637
774001:24:14,750 --> 01:24:16,457
7741Ah, here we are.
7742
77431638
774401:24:16,458 --> 01:24:17,959
7745Oh, hey.
7746Watch it, watch it.
7747
77481639
774901:24:19,166 --> 01:24:20,624
7750We're on the north lawn.
7751
77521640
775301:24:20,625 --> 01:24:22,791
7754We're totally on
7755the other side
7756of where we want to be.
7757
77581641
775901:24:22,792 --> 01:24:23,958
7760Oh, good going, Douglas.
7761
77621642
776301:24:23,959 --> 01:24:25,749
7764I didn't build
7765the damn tunnel.
7766
77671643
776801:24:25,750 --> 01:24:27,291
7769(TIRES SCREECHING)
7770
77711644
777201:24:29,208 --> 01:24:31,749
7773Now what?
7774Who am I,
7775fucking MacGyver?
7776
77771645
777801:24:31,750 --> 01:24:33,582
7779I'm making this up
7780as I go along.
7781
77821646
778301:24:33,583 --> 01:24:35,291
7784Over there!
7785
77861647
778701:24:37,291 --> 01:24:38,291
7788What the...
7789
77901648
779101:24:40,083 --> 01:24:41,291
7792Hang on, Kramer.
7793
77941649
779501:24:44,000 --> 01:24:46,082
7796Hold it!
7797Stop right there!
7798
77991650
780001:24:46,083 --> 01:24:48,457
7801Whoa, whoa, whoa!
7802Stop! Get off the horse!
7803
78041651
780501:24:48,458 --> 01:24:50,082
7806Get off the horse!
7807
78081652
780901:24:50,083 --> 01:24:52,833
7810We can't get any cars
7811through the block.
7812
78131653
781401:24:52,834 --> 01:24:54,625
7815You run after them,
7816I'll cut them off.
7817
78181654
781901:24:57,208 --> 01:24:58,625
7820Ohh!
7821
78221655
782301:25:01,708 --> 01:25:03,374
7824When this is over,
7825
78261656
782701:25:03,375 --> 01:25:05,458
7828promise me we'll come back
7829and look for my balls.
7830
78311657
783201:25:09,500 --> 01:25:11,332
7833Stop!
7834
78351658
783601:25:11,333 --> 01:25:13,833
7837(SCREAMING)
7838
78391659
784001:25:13,834 --> 01:25:16,290
7841Marksmen, intruders,
7842north lawn. This is Tanner.
7843
78441660
784501:25:16,291 --> 01:25:18,624
7846Driving to south gate to
7847intercept. Shoot to kill.
7848
78491661
785001:25:18,625 --> 01:25:19,666
7851MAN: This is
7852Lieutenant Fleming,
7853
78541662
785501:25:19,667 --> 01:25:21,374
7856we're moving into position
7857now, sir.
7858
78591663
786001:25:21,375 --> 01:25:22,875
7861Go, go, go.
7862
78631664
786401:25:26,333 --> 01:25:27,834
7865(TIRES SCREECH)
7866
78671665
786801:25:32,667 --> 01:25:34,999
7869Wait. Hold your fire.
7870
78711666
787201:25:35,000 --> 01:25:36,791
7873That looks like
7874Presidents Kramer and Douglas.
7875
78761667
787701:25:36,792 --> 01:25:38,791
7878That's impossible.
7879The presidents are dead.
7880
78811668
788201:25:38,792 --> 01:25:39,875
7883Shoot them, damn it!
7884
78851669
788601:25:42,875 --> 01:25:44,041
7887Repositioning to south side.
7888
78891670
789001:25:46,166 --> 01:25:48,582
7891...these people came together
7892bound by love of country
7893
78941671
789501:25:48,583 --> 01:25:49,750
7896and risked their lives...
7897
78981672
789901:25:51,375 --> 01:25:52,375
7900Open the gate!
7901
79021673
790301:25:57,041 --> 01:25:58,207
7904Nice horsy.
7905
79061674
790701:25:58,208 --> 01:25:59,375
7908Oh, God!
7909
79101675
791101:26:00,875 --> 01:26:02,083
7912On your command, sir.
7913
79141676
791501:26:07,000 --> 01:26:10,332
7916I gave you a direct order!
7917Shoot!
7918
79191677
792001:26:10,333 --> 01:26:12,792
7921Lieutenant Fleming,
7922request permission to shoot.
7923
79241678
792501:26:17,166 --> 01:26:18,416
7926Douglas!
7927
79281679
792901:26:18,417 --> 01:26:20,249
7930Down!
7931
79321680
793301:26:20,250 --> 01:26:21,833
7934...this was a struggle
7935for democracy...
7936
79371681
793801:26:21,834 --> 01:26:23,582
7939TANNER:
7940Lieutenant! Lieutenant!
7941
79421682
794301:26:23,583 --> 01:26:24,916
7944...it was a struggle
7945for truth...
7946
79471683
794801:26:24,917 --> 01:26:26,208
7949MAN:
7950We must fire, sir.
7951
79521684
795301:26:31,083 --> 01:26:33,290
7954...it was a struggle
7955between life and death.
7956
79571685
795801:26:33,291 --> 01:26:34,750
7959(GUNSHOT)
7960
79611686
796201:26:43,250 --> 01:26:44,750
7963Those are
7964the presidents.
7965
79661687
796701:26:52,083 --> 01:26:53,124
7968...and in conclusion,
7969
79701688
797101:26:53,125 --> 01:26:56,749
7972I'd like to say
7973that it is our great
7974
79751689
797601:26:56,750 --> 01:27:00,457
7977pleasure to welcome these
7978Dutch resistance
7979fighters here.
7980
79811690
798201:27:00,458 --> 01:27:03,958
7983KRAMER:
7984Douglas!
7985
79861691
798701:27:03,959 --> 01:27:07,833
7988Would somebody
7989go collect Blinky?
7990
79911692
799201:27:07,834 --> 01:27:09,666
7993That's fine. That's fine.
7994Let him come ahead.
7995
79961693
799701:27:09,667 --> 01:27:11,374
7998Well, what a surprise.
7999
80001694
800101:27:11,375 --> 01:27:13,959
8002Ladies and gentlemen,
8003President Matthew Douglas.
8004
80051695
800601:27:17,708 --> 01:27:19,457
8007Thank you.
8008Thank you.
8009
80101696
801101:27:19,458 --> 01:27:21,583
8012We have to talk...
8013Now.
8014
80151697
801601:27:26,250 --> 01:27:29,207
8017WITNAUR: Look, Haney
8018had to find a way to spin dry
8019the kickback money.
8020
80211698
802201:27:29,208 --> 01:27:30,958
8023That's where Olympia came in.
8024
80251699
802601:27:30,959 --> 01:27:34,124
8027Oh, Russell, please, there's
8028got to be a way around this.
8029
80301700
803101:27:34,125 --> 01:27:36,207
8032I'll give you
8033anything you want.
8034I have money.
8035
80361701
803701:27:36,208 --> 01:27:37,999
8038I beg your pardon?
8039
80401702
804101:27:38,000 --> 01:27:40,958
8042Are you honestly saying that
8043Russell P. Kramer
8044can be bought?
8045
80461703
804701:27:40,959 --> 01:27:43,124
8048Shut up, Douglas.
8049Why should I resign?
8050
80511704
805201:27:43,125 --> 01:27:45,624
8053I don't know anything
8054about Reynolds' death
8055or the chopper crash.
8056
80571705
805801:27:45,625 --> 01:27:48,207
8059Okay, yes, all right,
8060I admit, I used the office,
8061
80621706
806301:27:48,208 --> 01:27:51,124
8064but how is that any different
8065from what you are doing, Russ?
8066
80671707
806801:27:51,125 --> 01:27:52,999
8069You know you've made money
8070from this office.
8071
80721708
807301:27:53,000 --> 01:27:56,791
8074Two things, bill, one,
8075I never did anything illegal.
8076
80771709
807801:27:56,792 --> 01:27:58,165
8079Big difference.
8080
80811710
808201:27:58,166 --> 01:28:00,416
8083Two,
8084I never did it for the money.
8085
80861711
808701:28:00,417 --> 01:28:01,791
8088Oh, come on! Sure you did.
8089
80901712
809101:28:01,792 --> 01:28:03,499
8092No, no,
8093you just don't get it.
8094
80951713
809601:28:03,500 --> 01:28:05,707
8097My books,
8098my personal appearances,
8099
81001714
810101:28:05,708 --> 01:28:07,582
8102those are things I do
8103
81041715
810501:28:07,583 --> 01:28:10,143
8106so the people will know
8107I'm still here,
8108so they don't forget me...
8109
81101716
811101:28:12,750 --> 01:28:15,500
8112And so I can get
8113just a little taste of...
8114
81151717
811601:28:16,750 --> 01:28:19,417
8117What it's like to be...
8118
81191718
812001:28:22,208 --> 01:28:23,667
8121What I was.
8122
81231719
812401:28:24,542 --> 01:28:26,208
8125(CHUCKLES)
8126
81271720
812801:28:28,500 --> 01:28:30,541
8129This office has done
8130a hell of a lot for me,
8131
81321721
813301:28:30,542 --> 01:28:33,041
8134now I'm gonna do something
8135for it. Get you out!
8136
81371722
813801:28:33,708 --> 01:28:35,582
8139(KNOCK ON DOOR)
8140
81411723
814201:28:35,583 --> 01:28:37,541
8143Excuse me, sirs.
8144I'm Agent Kopeck.
8145
81461724
814701:28:37,542 --> 01:28:39,499
8148Agent in charge of secret
8149service, White House detail.
8150
81511725
815201:28:39,500 --> 01:28:41,999
8153I thought you'd like
8154to meet secret-service
8155officer Ralph Fleming.
8156
81571726
815801:28:42,000 --> 01:28:43,499
8159He's the man
8160who stopped Colonel Tanner.
8161
81621727
816301:28:43,500 --> 01:28:46,332
8164Thank you, Ralph.
8165You saved our lives.
8166
81671728
816801:28:46,333 --> 01:28:47,874
8169It's an honor to meet you,
8170son.
8171
81721729
817301:28:47,875 --> 01:28:49,666
8174Actually, sir,
8175we've met before.
8176
81771730
817801:28:49,667 --> 01:28:51,791
8179We have? Where?
8180
81811731
818201:28:51,792 --> 01:28:54,250
8183Somewhere over the rainbow.
8184
81851732
818601:29:02,417 --> 01:29:03,916
8187Ah, ye...
8188
81891733
819001:29:03,917 --> 01:29:05,666
8191He was, uh...
8192
81931734
819401:29:05,667 --> 01:29:07,041
8195(CHUCKLING)
8196
81971735
819801:29:11,041 --> 01:29:14,707
8199And so,
8200it is with a heavy heart,
8201
82021736
820301:29:14,708 --> 01:29:20,541
8204and, ironically,
8205a weak heart, that I resign
8206
82071737
820801:29:20,542 --> 01:29:23,791
8209from the office of
8210President of the
8211United States.
8212
82131738
821401:29:23,792 --> 01:29:26,207
8215Poor president, Haney.
8216
82171739
821801:29:26,208 --> 01:29:28,958
8219Oh, don't you worry, Rita,
8220he's gonna be just fine.
8221
82221740
822301:29:28,959 --> 01:29:30,916
8224Damn, Rita,
8225you haven't lost your touch.
8226
82271741
822801:29:30,917 --> 01:29:33,582
8229Uh-huh.
8230I miss you, too.
8231
82321742
823301:29:33,583 --> 01:29:36,207
8234I was finally
8235getting used to him.
8236
82371743
823801:29:36,208 --> 01:29:38,999
8239Now I've gotta start
8240all over again.
8241
82421744
824301:29:39,000 --> 01:29:40,458
8244President Matthews.
8245
82461745
824701:29:41,750 --> 01:29:43,457
8248(LAUGHS)
8249
82501746
825101:29:43,458 --> 01:29:45,792
8252Who would've
8253ever thought of that.
8254
82551747
825601:29:46,834 --> 01:29:48,958
8257President Matthews?
8258
82591748
826001:29:48,959 --> 01:29:52,250
8261There's only one way
8262that moron was ever
8263gonna become...
8264
82651749
826601:29:53,750 --> 01:29:55,165
8267President.
8268
82691750
827001:29:55,166 --> 01:29:57,165
8271Either Haney would
8272have to be assassinated,
8273
82741751
827501:29:57,166 --> 01:29:58,583
8276or he'd have to...
8277
82781752
827901:30:01,458 --> 01:30:02,874
8280Resign.
8281
82821753
828301:30:02,875 --> 01:30:06,791
8284...I'm convinced that it's
8285for the nation's better good,
8286
82871754
828801:30:06,792 --> 01:30:07,959
8289that I step aside.
8290
82911755
829201:30:09,792 --> 01:30:11,290
8293Two more minutes,
8294Mr. President.
8295
82961756
829701:30:11,291 --> 01:30:13,082
8298Thank you, Bill.
8299I'll be ready.
8300
83011757
830201:30:13,083 --> 01:30:15,916
8303Ted, we need to talk
8304and right now.
8305
83061758
830701:30:15,917 --> 01:30:17,416
8308Will you excuse us a minute,
8309Pete?
8310
83111759
831201:30:17,417 --> 01:30:19,791
8313Yes, sir.
8314So, what's up?
8315
83161760
831701:30:19,792 --> 01:30:21,124
8318We've figured it out.
8319
83201761
832101:30:21,125 --> 01:30:22,290
8322You'll never
8323get away with it.
8324
83251762
832601:30:22,291 --> 01:30:23,749
8327I already did.
8328
83291763
833001:30:23,750 --> 01:30:25,833
8331Chief Justice Renquist
8332just swore me in.
8333
83341764
833501:30:25,834 --> 01:30:27,916
8336I'm about to go on television
8337in front of the nation
8338
83391765
834001:30:27,917 --> 01:30:30,207
8341to reluctantly
8342accept my charge.
8343
83441766
834501:30:30,208 --> 01:30:31,999
8346You're the one,
8347you sent Tanner to kill us.
8348
83491767
835001:30:32,000 --> 01:30:34,999
8351We investigate Olympia,
8352wind up dead,
8353it all gets tied to Haney,
8354
83551768
835601:30:35,000 --> 01:30:36,520
8357either way he goes down,
8358and you're in.
8359
83601769
836101:30:37,000 --> 01:30:38,874
8362You're right.
8363
83641770
836501:30:38,875 --> 01:30:41,082
8366There've been a couple
8367of unfortunate deaths,
8368
83691771
837001:30:41,083 --> 01:30:43,833
8371but they can be blamed
8372on the late Colonel Tanner.
8373
83741772
837501:30:43,834 --> 01:30:46,707
8376I guess I won't have
8377to appoint him to the
8378Joint Chiefs after all.
8379
83801773
838101:30:46,708 --> 01:30:47,749
8382How do you explain
8383us being here?
8384
83851774
838601:30:47,750 --> 01:30:49,749
8387Aren't we both dead
8388in a helicopter crash?
8389
83901775
839101:30:49,750 --> 01:30:51,916
8392Oh, your chopper
8393definitely went down,
8394
83951776
839601:30:51,917 --> 01:30:54,833
8397but we are so thankful it
8398turned out you weren't aboard.
8399
84001777
840101:30:54,834 --> 01:30:57,040
8402Press secretary's
8403already issued a statement
8404
84051778
840601:30:57,041 --> 01:30:58,375
8407apologizing for any confusion.
8408
84091779
841001:30:59,667 --> 01:31:00,791
8411Thirty seconds, sir.
8412
84131780
841401:31:00,792 --> 01:31:02,332
8415Thank you, Bill.
8416
84171781
841801:31:02,333 --> 01:31:04,374
8419Well, gentlemen,
8420if you ask me,
8421
84221782
842301:31:04,375 --> 01:31:05,875
8424this whole thing's
8425been a real coup.
8426
84271783
842801:31:08,041 --> 01:31:09,499
8429Funny thing, isn't it?
8430
84311784
843201:31:09,500 --> 01:31:12,124
8433Everyone thinks
8434I'm this idiot,
8435
84361785
843701:31:12,125 --> 01:31:14,333
8438but nobody knows
8439it was all just
8440a big "fa-cade."
8441
84421786
844301:31:18,041 --> 01:31:19,417
8444Who's the idiot now?
8445
84461787
844701:31:28,250 --> 01:31:29,749
8448Hello, Mr. President.
8449Good to see you.
8450
84511788
845201:31:29,750 --> 01:31:30,750
8453Welcome home, sir.
8454
84551789
845601:31:33,375 --> 01:31:35,583
8457Well, I guess
8458that's all she wrote.
8459
84601790
846101:31:37,917 --> 01:31:42,124
8462Russell, you want to know
8463what gives me the red ass?
8464
84651791
846601:31:42,125 --> 01:31:43,666
8467What?
8468
84691792
847001:31:43,667 --> 01:31:45,082
8471He damn near
8472got away with it.
8473
84741793
847501:31:45,083 --> 01:31:47,749
8476What do you mean
8477"damn near"?
8478
84791794
848001:31:47,750 --> 01:31:49,916
8481You got the whole conversation
8482on tape?
8483
84841795
848501:31:49,917 --> 01:31:52,416
8486I learned from the master.
8487
84881796
848901:31:52,417 --> 01:31:55,582
8490The only problem is if I drop
8491this off at CNN
8492on my way home,
8493
84941797
849501:31:55,583 --> 01:31:57,541
8496and Matthews
8497gets thrown out of office,
8498
84991798
850001:31:57,542 --> 01:31:59,749
8501according
8502to the 25th amendment,
8503
85041799
850501:31:59,750 --> 01:32:01,582
8506the speaker of the house
8507will become president.
8508
85091800
851001:32:01,583 --> 01:32:03,207
8511Oh, God, anybody but him.
8512
85131801
851401:32:03,208 --> 01:32:06,249
8515Tell me about it. But,
8516I guess we have
8517no other choice.
8518
85191802
852001:32:06,250 --> 01:32:08,499
8521We did everything we could.
8522Yeah.
8523
85241803
852501:32:08,500 --> 01:32:10,541
8526I'm gonna go home,
8527kiss my wife,
8528
85291804
853001:32:10,542 --> 01:32:12,582
8531take a shower,
8532and go to bed for a month.
8533
85341805
853501:32:12,583 --> 01:32:14,624
8536Sounds good.
8537
85381806
853901:32:14,625 --> 01:32:17,541
8540You know something?
8541I gotta tell you,
8542
85431807
854401:32:17,542 --> 01:32:20,916
8545after going through
8546this whole thing,
8547
85481808
854901:32:20,917 --> 01:32:25,082
8550I've realized
8551I really don't like you.
8552
85531809
855401:32:25,083 --> 01:32:26,499
8555No kidding.
8556
85571810
855801:32:26,500 --> 01:32:29,457
8559But that isn't exactly
8560what I wanted to say.
8561
85621811
856301:32:29,458 --> 01:32:34,625
8564It, the thing is,
8565I don't like you, but...
8566
85671812
856801:32:36,792 --> 01:32:38,999
8569I think I'm gonna,
8570
85711813
857201:32:39,000 --> 01:32:40,250
8573you know, miss you.
8574
85751814
857601:32:42,083 --> 01:32:43,582
8577(CHUCKLES)
8578
85791815
858001:32:43,583 --> 01:32:45,749
8581If we hadn't spent
8582the last 30 years
8583
85841816
858501:32:45,750 --> 01:32:49,291
8586hating each other's guts,
8587we might have been friends.
8588
85891817
859001:32:54,333 --> 01:32:56,624
8591I think I'll stop there,
8592
85931818
859401:32:56,625 --> 01:32:59,083
8595because I feel the goat-cheese
8596pizza backing up on me.
8597
85981819
859901:33:04,417 --> 01:33:06,457
8600You take care of yourself.
8601
86021820
860301:33:06,458 --> 01:33:09,207
8604And, uh...
8605Don't jump off any trains.
8606
86071821
860801:33:09,208 --> 01:33:10,666
8609I was pushed.
8610
86111822
861201:33:10,667 --> 01:33:12,291
8613Same difference.
8614
86151823
861601:33:19,375 --> 01:33:21,000
8617Hey, Russell.
8618Yeah?
8619
86201824
862101:33:23,166 --> 01:33:24,624
8622♪ Hail to the chief
8623
86241825
862501:33:24,625 --> 01:33:27,040
8626♪ If you don't,
8627I'll have to kill you
8628
86291826
863001:33:27,041 --> 01:33:28,958
8631♪ I am the chief
8632
86331827
863401:33:28,959 --> 01:33:30,879
8635♪ So you'd better watch
8636your step, you bastards ♪
8637
86381828
863901:33:31,542 --> 01:33:32,959
8640We're even.
8641
86421829
864301:33:46,750 --> 01:33:48,666
8644I was briefed
8645about what happened, sir.
8646
86471830
864801:33:48,667 --> 01:33:50,027
8649It's amazing
8650what you went through.
8651
86521831
865301:33:51,875 --> 01:33:54,416
8654Yes, I guess it was.
8655
86561832
865701:33:54,417 --> 01:33:57,082
8658Well, now you can go
8659home to Cleveland for
8660a well-deserved rest.
8661
86621833
866301:33:57,083 --> 01:33:58,417
8664Oh, yes.
8665
86661834
866701:33:59,750 --> 01:34:01,375
8668When it comes time
8669for a rest,
8670
86711835
867201:34:03,166 --> 01:34:04,875
8673there's no place
8674like Cleveland.
8675
86761836
867701:34:08,291 --> 01:34:10,374
8678This must've been
8679a very difficult
8680experience for you, sir.
8681
86821837
868301:34:10,375 --> 01:34:12,207
8684DOUGLAS:
8685Yeah. It was pretty bad.
8686
86871838
868801:34:12,208 --> 01:34:16,874
8689On some level,
8690I enjoyed it.
8691
86921839
869301:34:16,875 --> 01:34:22,749
8694It was just nice
8695to do something
8696and have a goal again.
8697
86981840
869901:34:22,750 --> 01:34:24,958
8700I think it was a great service
8701you did for your country, sir.
8702
87031841
870401:34:24,959 --> 01:34:27,159
8705Most people in that situation,
8706they would have given up.
8707
87081842
870901:34:28,542 --> 01:34:31,208
8710You and President Kramer,
8711you did everything you could.
8712
87131843
871401:34:32,667 --> 01:34:34,375
8715I'm proud to be
8716attached to you, sir.
8717
87181844
871901:34:43,208 --> 01:34:45,458
8720No, Chet, you're wrong.
8721
87221845
872301:34:46,917 --> 01:34:48,583
8724We didn't do
8725everything we could.
8726
87271846
872801:34:50,792 --> 01:34:53,457
8729NEWMAN: Nine months after
8730he took the oath of office,
8731
87321847
873301:34:53,458 --> 01:34:56,749
8734former president
8735and convicted felon
8736Ted Matthews
8737
87381848
873901:34:56,750 --> 01:34:57,916
8740today began
8741serving his sentence
8742
87431849
874401:34:57,917 --> 01:35:00,749
8745at a federal prison
8746in Stafford, Virginia.
8747
87481850
874901:35:00,750 --> 01:35:04,416
8750But unlike other political
8751scandals of the past,
8752
87531851
875401:35:04,417 --> 01:35:07,416
8755this one has spawned
8756an unusual coupling.
8757
87581852
875901:35:07,417 --> 01:35:09,290
8760For that story,
8761we take you
8762
87631853
876401:35:09,291 --> 01:35:11,833
8765to correspondent Kaye Griffin
8766in California.
8767
87681854
876901:35:11,834 --> 01:35:14,249
8770(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
8771
87721855
877301:35:14,250 --> 01:35:16,457
8774GRIFFIN: Two of America's
8775biggest political rivals
8776
87771856
877801:35:16,458 --> 01:35:18,040
8779are making history.
8780
87811857
878201:35:18,041 --> 01:35:20,124
8783Running on the same ticket
8784as independents
8785
87861858
878701:35:20,125 --> 01:35:23,165
8788are ex-presidents
8789Kramer and Douglas.
8790
87911859
879201:35:23,166 --> 01:35:26,416
8793You know,
8794I come to this country
8795with those fellows.
8796
87971860
879801:35:26,417 --> 01:35:28,332
8799However, we have yet to hear
8800
88011861
880201:35:28,333 --> 01:35:29,958
8803who will be running
8804as president,
8805
88061862
880701:35:29,959 --> 01:35:32,082
8808and who as vice president.
8809
88101863
881101:35:32,083 --> 01:35:35,291
8812I'm not ashamed to say it,
8813I slept with both those guys.
8814
88151864
881601:35:38,792 --> 01:35:40,499
8817My love.
8818
88191865
882001:35:40,500 --> 01:35:42,958
8821Any words of wisdom
8822for the candidate?
8823Of course.
8824
88251866
882601:35:42,959 --> 01:35:44,582
8827Don't make a friggin' fool
8828of yourself.
8829
88301867
883101:35:44,583 --> 01:35:46,082
8832Margaret, please,
8833
88341868
883501:35:46,083 --> 01:35:47,874
8836if you're gonna
8837use the f-word,
8838go for the gold.
8839
88401869
884101:35:47,875 --> 01:35:50,124
8842DOUGLAS: Excuse us, Margaret.
8843
88441870
884501:35:50,125 --> 01:35:52,374
8846Are you ready to face
8847the voting public?
8848
88491871
885001:35:52,375 --> 01:35:53,582
8851Let's do it.
8852All right.
8853
88541872
885501:35:53,583 --> 01:35:54,999
8856I'll make the announcement,
8857then I'll introduce you.
8858
88591873
886001:35:55,000 --> 01:35:58,541
8861To keep things straight,
8862you're saying I'm
8863gonna be president,
8864
88651874
886601:35:58,542 --> 01:36:00,124
8867and you're gonna
8868be vice president.
8869
88701875
887101:36:00,125 --> 01:36:01,833
8872Now wait a minute.
8873Wait a minute.
8874
88751876
887601:36:01,834 --> 01:36:03,457
8877After everything
8878we went through together,
8879
88801877
888101:36:03,458 --> 01:36:05,624
8882you still don't trust me?
8883I trust you.
8884
88851878
888601:36:05,625 --> 01:36:07,833
8887Well, thank you.
8888Just as you trust me.
8889
88901879
889101:36:07,834 --> 01:36:09,165
8892I think I'll make
8893the announcement.
8894
88951880
889601:36:09,166 --> 01:36:10,666
8897I thought we agreed
8898that I would do it.
8899
89001881
890101:36:10,667 --> 01:36:12,290
8902Will you let go of me?
8903
89041882
890501:36:12,291 --> 01:36:14,375
8906I'm not letting go.
8907I'm not letting go, either.
8908
89091883
891001:36:15,875 --> 01:36:17,374
8911Get out of my way,
8912old man.
8913
89141884
891501:36:17,375 --> 01:36:18,541
8916No way, sleazebag.
8917
89181885
891901:36:18,542 --> 01:36:20,040
8920How are you?
8921
89221886
892301:36:20,041 --> 01:36:21,999
8924Hey! Money.
8925
89261887
892701:36:22,000 --> 01:36:24,666
8928Will you...
8929Did you drop that?
8930
89311888
893201:36:24,667 --> 01:36:25,667
8933Yeah. That's mine.
8934
89351889
893601:36:26,667 --> 01:36:28,207
8937My fellow Americans...
8938
89391890
894001:36:28,208 --> 01:36:29,208
8941You son of a...