FXQ4Ev2f

1I increase the strength in the hand slowly, on the palm transmit the weak beat, under the slender nape of the neck the midpoint trachea was oppressed the color of unavoidable meeting dew pain, but under body appearance beautiful female not only did not fear instead likely is aroused the interest by his action generally, even made him feel that actually from the beginning the opposite party did not have the meaning of revolt.
2- can turn on the pen?
3Suddenly what probably held is one. Once the thought pushed open a road conceitedly to walk, pinched tight by no means other, but was own heart, wanting pain that must suffocate was not he is one, was really a joke, what her looked was when I must be able to commit suicide successfully.
4Can give up in light of this, fantasized the scene to tighten the shoulders to feel the foundation of this body to yowl loudly, heart stave sad.
5I will strangle to death my lover, this is my crime, it irons in the soul is unable to clean.
6Why I must kill you.
7To say anything, before that you have opened mouth -
8- "......."
9Waking up time what sees after is person by the neon light diffuse reflection that in the window blind slits passes the photo leaves the outline the face.
10I made one to pinch the dream of your neck.
11 
12 
13After this is I go out, ten minutes third time sees her on the street.
14The answer that my intuition gets makes me start to be scared, latter carried on the back is the denticle is brought to treat as the shaving knife to try the water likely, uneven covered with blood. But she has not visited me, the split vision does not have, but I also throw a coin to choose a street to go forward now stochastically, is useless, all are similar to natural daily. When I continue to throw the coin to forward, even has shot the vertical static situation, she appears in the Israeli different attire. Moistens the suspenders trousers of paint to brandish the brush, in black and white stripe garment is taking the blue lemon juice, the pattern complicated such as the one-piece dress of butterfly wing and colored drawing on pottery glass is towing the bags, even can be the different hair color different height different look people, but any appearance I can think that "this is she", right, regardless of these meets are only the accidental fate are but desirably is. In the impression her in vivo simultaneously was occupied by the literary young girl, boy and senior citizen probably, we in the morning peacefully will still be reading Pietrak's sonnet in the contact, in the afternoon vivaciously and a nest friend goes to the reservoir to fish, in the evening sluggishly and cat nest rolls to bind in one group of quilts to play the game on that bed together, therefore she put on child the skirt of flesh color inked ribbon flower bud silk butterfly knot to shake the leg to knock the bowl or burns to wear the noticeable 15 centimeters high-heeled shoes, I not what strange.
15This sounds to be very strange, right? What is stranger, this situation has continued for one week. From the beginning indeed has not paid attention also to think a little awkward, one two three times, the fool should also think that is not right, but why is this? Always possibly was not I likes her not being willing to accept the illusion that the reality presented.
16We bid good-bye, not?
17Perhaps ......I should ask for leave to go home to sleep well.
18Dry wind likely in plundering my moisture content, therefore I have closed the eye, in the incomplete darkness who has voiced sobbing of out-of-control slowly.
19The snow of early spring has not exterminated, the germ already broke through the blockade of surface, starts to eulogize the newborn, luxuriant and unconscious harvest.
20 
21"Has had the nightmare?"
22When I wake up she sits in the bedside back to me, lowers the head to truncate the next long skin with the fruit knife, sends the silk to comply with the earth's attraction to block her profile that this angle has been able to see, I sit to grasp her from the back, that plate red line then separated.
23"You did not say that can walk?"I asked. "Senior said that you have not gone to going to work to make me come to see, he has not known probably we bid good-bye."
24But you have to pack baggage, where the false key places not to forget that you must walk or must stay behind.
25I remember that I am because the brain chaos looked at an indoor thermometer to discover that at home had a fever, downstairs small clinic unable to go only to send the short note appraisal, not.
26I have inspected my cell phone, burnt probably really has regarded the corresponding number the name above muddled, in fact the short note sent to person that has had nothing to do with one another completely.
27Really.
28I prepares to edit a short note the time she to me said that she must jump, later will not say goodbye, finally truncated an apple to be good to you. I used the elbow to support the bedboard to sit to win her apple and knife, she gained ground I to be actually startled.
29She cried.
30 
31I thought that this is my fantasy, because I am hugging her of sob, duplicates me to like you being all right, she actually looks like broke bird of foot to shrink, but does not flap the wings to run away, the frequency that my words and she sobs does not synchronize, but I thought that our hearts synchronized. I also love you, I said that she rubs on my shoulder, the soft feminine body can break up by rubbing probably in my arms, this is the lover who I regain, my world.
32I think that I have had the nightmare.
33In the line of sight has inserted the outer wall of delapidated collapsing fresh liver moss, daytime under the decayed liquid just likes the bog, fragment so forth. Perhaps is the happy illusion, I have closed the eye.
34I said that "do not walk, promising me to be good."
35Then I insert her back of the body the fruit knife.
36 
37A world darkness.
38I sit from the sofa, takes up an apple silently. When I am distracted I have thought that um, perhaps also unknowingly closes one's eyes to sleep, possibly also had a dream, at sixes and sevens, not having the logic to look like casual looks for several to awake to put together the broadcast in the brain. When did not say the human sleeps can have 78 dreams, possibility that can remember does not have - these do not have what material meaning actually.
39I remember before, has read Holy Bible, although did not understand actually. This I and she a little look like, which book that we especially have not liked, specially is not repugnant. Sometimes said that was the appointment went to bookstore, on not having the chair of seat back cushion she closed right up against my back, read the playing card room, read is red and black, other cartoon love stories also looked that probably compared to read, she regarding studying this matter itself compared to be interested.
40"And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. (Therefore the woman sees the fruit of that tree to be good to make food, the eye of pleased person, is precisely may like, can make people full of wisdom, takes off the fruit to eat. Also to her husband, her husband also ate)
41And the eyes of them both were opened. (Their eyes bright)."
42She collected to look at one, careless read. The finger falls on apple stem that hollow place, downward slid, has touched my skill, then held it to draw toward oneself. I have not looked at her eye, but I as if can feel anything, for example Anubis and Ma (Maat) feather, for example, false happy expression.
43"You cannot escape,
44Because -"
45My flashes through bright red at present probably, whom I saw to fall down, whose bosom vanished without the trace, whose story was interrupted by the fruit knife. Early morning beginning the sunlight that has not warmed falls on me, is useless, I have not felt the life to pass do not have what galloping-horse lantern, I am looking at the slash on apple, resembles there to start out a flower.
46From the apple, then finished.
47In the limited darkness as if slightly was shaken by anything, pan-tiny ripples, but quick was submerged.
48- how?
49 
50You thought that is unable to flee is really desperate, simply is in the world the most fearful matter?
51I duplicate mechanically am jabbing into the movement of human body with screw driver, does not have the true feelings. On her temples is inserting the Swiss Army knife on my key, I exhausted have turned it fully, her oral cavity and eye socket the toothpick with the chopsticks, I have believed that he enough left behind the innumerable silt to be blue under her plush coat, but I returned to the kitchen, to her wields with the kitchen knife that has not cleaned carelessly chops, probably will not be such her to sit like the malicious ghost who in the hell crawled, cut by biting my neck to be the same wild.
52Certainly not, most fearful more than so.
53You at-large, goes all out to run away, you must make him disappear from your life thoroughly. But your desire is completely impossible to be realized, he lives in your life, he has left behind his shadow in your body, will happen one day they will germinate, from your heart, your tear gland and your soul. They will pull you to lead you, will summon anyone who their masters, you are evading crazily, their keenly blowing and will earnestly seek will happen one day ruin you, finally you will assimilate with them.
54I am loving you, therefore I also harbor sincere killing Italy to you, I long for that it can turn into the knife to duplicate the incision on your heart the wound will never heal, finally you have taken up the knife, then I also will become in your eternal.
55I thought that this is the dream. When her cosmetics took in plastic bag by me I see her hand according to my hand, I had not responded with enough time. She should crash in the sewer to be right by me, meets by chance in Dongkou that cannot bear the decayed fermentation not to search on the road over, the plastic that finally and is hard to degrade merges the black undercurrent together. Then, I remember obviously her nail was delimited to spend, knuckle two cut off, after all that mouth is very small. I am also thinking the water fee can arouse suspicion, but how the head processes is also the issue, now looks like does not use, on my nail several stars can count to come out.
56"Including."
57She grasps me from the back, I look down to the abdomen, there transmits the skin to cut open the opening blood the pain of the eversion meat seeping out, that should be the boxcutter, no wonder I had not found, I think.
58The next second in my line of sight is the pale yellow evening, a twinkling is the soft skeleton, is really absurd. I close the eye uncomfortably, opens once more.
59"I have had the nightmare."
60That day was I graduates post-two months 3 days, I have not known her, turned out the secondhand book to prepare to sell out from the book shelf. The old apartment sound-insulated is not quite good, can hear the sound that the child goes upstairs to create a disturbance in the bedroom, the weather fades out, I also sat on one pile of books, many books were very thick, one after another, old must turn yellow, sat is not very uncomfortable above, instead this feeling resembled a Bensi pile east the studio to have a look in childhood casually, is peaceful like me now is a child, anything did not need a person to face.
61The setting sun crashes to my eyeground across the window, that warm feeling melted to drop has come to make one have the illusion unable to open is cries to be swollen these two matters also indeed is similar red. The wind of early spring has stroked the branches and leaves and screen window gently, the window blind fluttering is scratching near my ear, I lean to lie down on the floor look the twilight such as on the table has overturned the drink, the memory gradually awaking makes me a little vacant, I have had any sad dream, for example I kill the world that who for example died gradually, but my a few words do not talk clearly, but in the condition that this as if half dream partly awakes I said that a few words can wake up thoroughly, may simultaneously the dreamland also thoroughly work loose my hand.
62"Has had the nightmare?"
63I once had a dream in the dusk books, I do not believe that at that time I dreamed of the bell, may be me mixing or me is also having a dream now. In dream we met in the library, I want to take on the bookshelf a name to be strange, whose hand was the same I to bump into with the novel, turned head to look in the past my in the brain quick emitted "is bell" air bubble. Mainly is because this school, only then both of us, because the family problem is an appearance of foreigner, among facial features also some people the feelings of fission, although has not seen from the beginning has actually known the opposite party, then could not bear has simultaneously exclaimed in surprise "oh".
64"Will you speak Japanese?"
65"Rather you are the foreigner I thought that' 'reading み か ん (mikan) 'also of pleasant to hear understands compared with 'オ レ ン ジ (orange)?"
66Then we smiled.
67I thought that is the dream is because both of us look like are not quite in fact same, moreover does not appear the warm feelings, certainly is only I thought. Sometimes she can look for me, is not very frequent, usually I read the textbook in the library, but she sits in the opposite looks taking advantage of than Borrie who the palm of the hand is older and so on - in brief will not be her some books, "some words went back to look were good, why otherwise came to the library?"When she and I waits to open the door on the bench outside library together said. The bell you are not the department of medical science, um, do you want to study the drawing? Perhaps, relieved Gao Shu will not hang, good, eats the apple? The rabbit apple, you did not mind that I use the words of your fork, good is my issue ......However I thought that in turn I asked you are quite good.
68She my fork has been eating that apple, then commented crisp, like the rabbit, I did not say you did like let people walk all over one? She said that likes crisply, but sometimes made that the gum is uncomfortable.
69I said that will trade a fruit next time, what do you like? Orange. Good, then on orange.
70Afterward some people asked that you and next door department of medical science of are the brother and sister ......Sister and brother?
71"It is not the brothers and sisters," the opposite party thinks and pursues asks:
72"Are you and bell associating?"
73I replied certainly, at that time I was very decisive, afterward hesitated. Such will ask why? Because I do eat the meal that she has made? Because she has held my hand? Because both of us do enroll in supplementary lessons mutually? Like this?
74That night my first time asked the soap opera that the bell most liked, referred in particular to the love to approach. The bell had not asked why actually I want this, looked very for a long time the progress among the leading actors and actresses was good the female, but unrequited loved the actor was jealous on the 2nd, then I understood suddenly. Perhaps I look like really am the minor matter matter, but do other people look like more objective? Although this is establishes in that part understood that I and bell are not relative's people, certainly perhaps listened to be asked also thought so "we actually were really the brother and sister?", Perhaps ripped open this surface our action to look like lover - on the home plate, I have not gone to her home, this was also we are not brother and sister's reminder.
75I should think that has felt a German orthopedics what kind have mixed feelings, cracks a joke, but I am thinking the later matter.
76For example, my mood to bell. If likes that being also good, I will be very happy that my lover and I am in harmony, but I must bet the appearance of me and bell tacit understanding.
77In order to pondered relieved I decided buys a midnight snack, what is accidental was the midway has snowed, the end of January can also the fluttering snow, add the cotton-padded jacket unexpectedly fortunately, I shook the head.
78Comes back to step on after the shoe sole on the ground like the ice that a piece decreases temperature gradually coagulates, the main road that many people take is also only moist, the roadside that the small number of people walks actually with scattering the bread flour was the same, in the trash can pointed at the picture with the hand, the street light has illuminated warm white, the air that I exhale fans into the cold night, at present is dim has not cleared is covered, I walk on the road.
79I want to go home with her.
80Perhaps this is my slow bottom line, first time hopes her, at least to be able before receiving her call slowly the dozen. Has thought that many, actually time accidental simplicity of real doing not.
81Therefore I have dialed the number of bell, she meets quickly, has not chatted any other, I when first "feeding" thinks her should in own family, therefore so is peaceful, a person. Because I think that I also directly said.
82"We associate."
83"Good."
84She said.
85 
86- who has closed the cage door?
87The ray is elevating temperature. I before opening window looked at the past, in the afternoon the street of peak had not had the vehicles to speed along, along with the illumination the displacement of angle and indicator, the change gradually stagnated.
88The window blind flutters in me at present, it raises by me, the hinge that the old apartment shoves open outward will stare probably tonight, I love dearly the game and apple that my pay card, buys newly, but this is useful.
89I died.
90Before dying, in the hand also grasps the cigarette lighter to prepare to roast the cotton candy, was only a pity that has not eaten. It makes me think that before I die the illusion, fuzzy, perhaps burnt, did not have, fell into the furnace likely, likely was in the looking around blue sky has flown the pigeon.
91Actually the ghost will sleep probably, otherwise explained that I wake up from the bed? I am thinking blurry, several seconds later surprisedly looks is fixing the eyes on my bell puzzled, she gives me the plastic bag, I receive.
92Has moistened the fruit knife of lethal dose toxicant, not very red instead some brilliant yellows, shazams opened split back that the apple, her does not return.
93- if this is the rumor.
94I smile to support into the bosom her, has closed her with own arm. This is the dream, I am also living, is moving her, without my world is only the rumor.
95Really, good.
96Afternoon of sunlight flood I have had a very real killed dream. In dream I look that the setting sun crashes gradually, the tinnitus never stops. She looks that I pour down the face that wants to sob to start to speak but hesitate, finally has patted my back, buries the face on my shoulder.
97Therefore I fish out a gun from the pillow, the muzzle arrive in her cerebellum, at that time I think that the opening fire words, will puncture the headstock or the floor.
98I had no way to know.
99 
100The world is forming.
101 
102- such words, bar up your are not I.
103 
104She overthrows me on the bed, the canine tooth gnaws to nip my Adam's apple gently, the finger from the cheeks, to the collar bone, ignites my chest again, I think that which this is not right. I use the arm to imprison her in my arms, her knee withstands my lower belly, the effort is subtle, I do not know that this threatens or anything, therefore I have pondered, I think that she and bell she stands in the driving position on the other hand frequently, certainly except for public statement, if this were passive also went too far right.
105She kisses me, the lip and neck, the tongue had not been stopped to extend, aggressive entanglement of spiteful as continuous, even along with presses mutually in the hand of cerebellum is more thorough, in her mouth is also remaining the sweetness of that so-called female naturally cherishing, is the feminine body gives my spiritual candy. Because lies in my posture chest also post tightens my, must take oneself to lock in me as the pen likely.
106If I am the artistic creator, then can spend on one big to fold the paper to come to carry on the compilation to describe to her happily, at this time the optical phenomena honey same dissolution in the air, I smelled the fruit to be fragrant, in this who was singing loudly.
107
108I thought that my ponder is wrong, the lover wants initiative this is the how happy matter not, so long as complied with the desire of body to be good, whatever then she on me recklessly, two hands untied the leather belt together, her hand was also smaller than my cool point, replaces the knee caressed time I almost want immediately to go, wants to pull out in her body inserts, wants to release in all, however she was is only away from the clothes to rub gently, this unfair small devil, looked at each other until me and she surpasses for ten seconds to blink to set out. Has lagged behind the underpants border.
109
110"Including won't be willingly?"She kisses my eyelid.
111
112I shake the head, in lip then India of bell my ear, the upper part again second rolling comes to form a natural curve in my eyes, I see the black frivolous clothing also to hang in her knee am curved, then my brain has processed an information, but the result is the thing of there going all out practical joke 99% is tongue - remaining 1% remain to the science fiction development. Perhaps the auricle can have the blood to well up to blush, licks the sound that licks to let me a little, wants to close the eye. What my left eye sees is she does not talk clearly is mischievous or meaningful smiling, then the field of vision was corroded, I think that the bell is tied a knot on my head the tie happy, the coat and hand of taking off, I believe that small childish "uh-huh" is really not my illusion.
113
114Cannot believe that I indeed am her first making love object, or all extremely coincidence, looked like two puzzles of a paper or scheduled separate that tore in half, the bell allows me to enter her in vivo on own initiative, in the brain the sexual desire growth climbed up forms to the sane fetter, inflated in some time fiercely goes crazy to be away from the husk to entangle in the same place, does not know that at this time the conduction velocity of neurotransmitter has been the upper limit, in not obvious world I was thinking that pair of thin white hand arm rest in my body side appearance. She breathes my breath to survive, along with pulling out to deliver the friction air also to stick to be greasy, exactly tightening and sensitivity point hit also mutually tries to please, she receives the stimulation to call in me is the sounds of nature and by the defined production pleasant sensation catalyst. Afterward again movement time has been able to hear her already the respite that relaxed, but constrained as before. The desire that the sexual intercourse place burns is drenching the kiss that the ache and confuses to swallow in the stomach together, is only the dry and hot actually illusion entire world in these two bodies both are clearly moving restlessly.
115
116I hope that can move her to feel burn that only then each other can realize, therefore my hand was free, I made the tie of creakying lift a point to reveal an eye upwardly, after short period for adaptation, I smiled.
117
118Hey, guesses that what I did see?
119
120Is the blue sky, limited blue sky, by the eye socket of bell, but always thought that behind that will have the genuine sky, I think. Her blue eye somewhat weak dim feeling, has doped tiny gentle - does not have the dust unable to see, sky. Is dragging in such empty muddy blurredly, the gaze will be too long will even cause the illusion that the heart will transmit stops, feeling lacking in vigilance.
121
122Bell.
123
124In the surface cannot distinguish clearly is the tears or the sweat, half long sending silk mounts in the noon on the neck being similar to has present to restrain is positive, in the right eye of my visible ray saw was so.
125
126I could not bear kiss have hung in front that bunch, stretched out the tongue to tease that two points that her chest became toughs it out, sucked and licks to lick, did not feel shivering of bell accidentally. Whose laughter perhaps that overlaps in the disorderly respite, I am indefinite, I can only grasp the person before tightly, she uses the thigh to clamp me to let unify is closer, the snow white waist is swaying from side to side, the meat edge deeply buries in inside, but is away from captures the peak also to have one.
127
128"Including ......I love you ......."
129
130The bell bent down to draw close to me, under India another kiss on my collar bone.
131
132 
133
134- that is all.
135
136 
137
138Succumbs to the weightlessness feeling in the angle of depression soon downward crashing, I move to enlarge ones vision do not look at that sky, it gradually blackout in several hours, even if once had the setting sun to dye the hui sky, the group green also meets after the setting sun some time presents, the specific time interval dusk penetrates the atmosphere to scatter, must embezzle the daytime gradually.
139
140- if this is the dream.
141
142Kneels in the remote alley, I cannot bear kneel on the ground vomit, the gastric juice has burnt the throat and oral cavity, the whereabouts more than so, the filthy thing slowly flows off from the rails, hears the underwater sound that has splashed, is the decayed abyss is likely stimulated to compete for food.
143
144I have voiced sobbing of out-of-control finally.
145
146 
147
148- I am not clear.
149
150 
151
152Do you dream have advanced the scene in water me? Perhaps I have had such dream, perhaps does not have, in that dream full is the viscous blue color, shines inconceivable. I think me in submarine, because I thought that had anything to surround me, and has suffocated likely, your face with a smile, with the hand that I extended. Strange, but I try to murder you for this absurd dream, without any vacillation.
153
154I do not talk clearly that dream to be real, as if is really real exists, I am your after death soul, leads into the hell you from the submarine return, you will certainly get down, I will be pressing the tray, like this your heart very - is heavy.
155
156Heavy - like the sky, the blue sky that presses, at that time can also be the blue color? The science told me other dust as well as particle seaterring blue light in atmosphere abilities is bigger than scatters other wave length long photons the ability, the human eye was also insensitive to the visual purple, therefore the sky appeared the blue color. Blots out the sky, yes, I want probably, because fantasized that died once more ......Yes, the recollection, is as before false.
157
158Inconceivable, right? Even if were this time can be distracted. I from return, because consciousness is far away the eyeball that but nobody controls will focus in the right hand, there will have the golden sunlight to struggle in my fingertip. She keeps suspending to try to turn the hand to kick and beat me, this lets I a little inexplicable security sense, she also feared the death, yes.
159
160Until her a few words cannot say finally, I have not seen her any expression.
161
162But why does not know, I thought that she is smiling.
163
164 
165
166 
167
168- parapet can also surmount again high.
169
170 
171
172Before then I trust certainly among us the sentiment, I also believe that so long as broad and level will not have anything, we can continuously this, lightly and hug gently each other, the root system bough entangles in the twin tree that the same place increases upwardly.
173
174I want with you in the same place.
175
176"If? You always did not joke medico can chop the human ten to come the knife to condemn the minor wound?"
177
178"Am I such person? ......The company, do you love my this words actually obviously are the girl ask?"
179
180", The bell so is unlovable, what to do if not pay attention to be robbed, cannot close -, moreover I am not the modification."
181
182Can the words that "can close? In the novel that type, to monopolize to imprison me, finally ', died forever in together '?"
183
184"Um, I consider, you feared."
185
186She has won my apple and knife with a smile, the close kiss falls on my collar bone, she uses the dental cusp to nip my Adam's apple, will say you not, because we will be fall in love. This is without a doubt.
187
188I smile the apple block that was biting her to truncate.
189
190Sharpness and fetter that I have never pondered loving, it sometimes purely, that fearsome, this does not contradict unexpectedly.
191
192 
193
194- I am your world.
195
196 
197
198I lost sleep.
199
200The cell phone locks screen contact surface demonstration 2:00 am, perhaps is the uphold eyelid and accident clear thought that the low temperature creates, perhaps is other. I have discovered that after the pressure cooker liquid time in steam hot-water bottle also quickly becomes icy cold, until throwing into the trash can is abegging, looks like I am now same.
201
202The knife the card like the rock enters the protothorax, makes the lung also across his rib likely is a broken bellower - or the childhood tired of the cartilage when the noisy sound that the inspiration vibrated makes, has fixed the nail of four limbs, I was not the sage. In fact this sound listened to a little hypnosis, I want to rest, perhaps woke up is the new dreamland.
203
204If talked nonsense is manifestation of desire, what I was earnestly seeking to you? Love and death or dream itself?
205
206Will finish, all these.
207
208 
209
210The sky from the beginning is the husk, when it splits, the world becomes bright.
211
212"I dreamed of me to be eaten by the wolf last night quickly."
213
214I said half jokingly that the bell she was crooked tilting the head, said that wolf? You were saying that the wolf came, was Anubis? The dieb is not his symbol, I said. It is not clear, but always such draws.
215
216Was eaten by Armitt (Ammit). Was saying in she raised hand the book - before that should be my resting reading material, was a very old book, in Anderson fairy tale ages with studio. The book title I do not remember ......Probably is the Indian myth comprehensive work and so on, um, the book title page does not have, seemed torn up by me has folded the paper plane.
217
218That page of bell looked is drawing one "female", I collect to look at the following illustration. The justice, the truth and order god, match on the belt feather to inscribe its. When Hades carries out the trial, is the heart and her feather of goner places the two sides weighing of balance together. Tudor's wife, daughter, its suggestion is real and just, order.
219
220I know that I have had any dream, I dreamed of me to be killed, sewed on the bed, who clinched my heart to place on the side of the scale, then said goodbye to me.
221
222Do not walk.
223
224I lose in the world general despair to wake up in that type, greets my lover who is the whole face worries about, perhaps I want present I soon to cry.
225
226In 2:00 am dreamlands I saw the inconceivable deep blue sky, looks like has a dream, it is not, this sky applications in galloping and looking, are unable to touch, but the sky was coordinating me at that time desperately, pounds chaotically.
227
228Will die, I think. Now looks like power saw that lifts up high.
229
230Why I do not understand.
231
232 
233
234I do not want dead, but I have thought that if I also jump to be what kind.
235
236Also the sky is everyone has seen is every day can see, but sky of that day I have not seen again, I know that it has been broad, knows that in that has all kinds of things - planet that under obvious nimbus clouds and curtain of night appear, ray of not obvious steam and atmosphere scattering. Human eye obvious thing is usually limited, does not draw support from the star that any tool can see is about several thousand, let alone you were also encircled, in you jog under the sky that can arrive, the genuine sky can only achieve infinitely in the imagination.
237
238But in fact, in her who that flash I see, both eyes spill over clearly is the sky color. When looks sees, only then I, not, mighty current. Who sees will be shocked, because I could not see how many things in that flake blue color has hidden, loves, or other? Perhaps human all specifiable sentiments, in different ways condensation connection, because is the invisible thing can therefore superimpose infinitely,
239
240Infinite, sky, even there is a flash to produce, if I attempted to jump at that time, can obtain the illusion of sleeping soundly.
241
242The night room is spacious and silent, I grasped the head. The interrogation also can only be the fact of suicide, even if I cannot obtain direct evidence therefore me also to continue to live, but they do not know that most wants to see her is I, I want to see her, raps my cerebellum to remind my reality so unable sanely unceasingly to evade.
243
244Most, is only I can see her to be built on outside the corner of the eye the invisible dead angle, reveals smiling that was unable to ascertain. Does not exist obviously, has the laughter to reverberate resoundingly, acts in a completely informal or uninhibited manner.
245
246Vision and thought does not hold permanent, wants to live to pursue to have a road probably.
247
248"Bell."
249
250I had a dream.
251
252Closes the eyelid to appreciate the medicine tedious bitterness and astringency, in the sky is certainly having the footprint also to have the crumbly bread to remain, you will not be cruel, I believe firmly existence of that road.
253
254- does the common people were vanishing completely dream.
255
256 
257
258"Has had the nightmare?"She asked.
259
260I nodded, I have the dream that among us has massacred unceasingly, I am afraid you to leave, is absurd, humanity that initially awakes perhaps like just the fledgling of broken shell frail ignorant, I said that I dreamed of you to walk.
261
262", I have not had the strange dream ......I, dreamed of me to be eaten by the wolf quickly."
263
264She said.
265
266I have enclasped her, two wing also wet micro-organism take the body temperature of opposite party as the food, she has not borne smile, said that links you to fear I do leave? Yes, I am afraid very much. This dreamland was extremely real, making me suspect my present situation, but I proved this is real?
267
268"What if can realize the desire company to make really?"
269
270I put out a hand to switch off the electric lamp, bell was going to other with a blue candle, colorfully looked like disorderly and weak, but I thought warm. Careful wax drop slides to the movement to be very secret, I pull a paper napkin to help her scratch the clean finger, then she sang the birthday song.
271
272"Desire says does not work."
273
274"Doesn't God help your me help you not be good?"
275
276"I want with the bell forever in the same place."
277
278Lily and serissa fetida that the cream and candlelight dragged the combustion withered taste Daugai, the bell looked like somewhat embarrassed, the only photo source by that moment that I blew out, I heard the farewell that she has felt relaxed.
279
280"I am also."
281
282The breath stops suddenly.
283
284 
285
286I want with you in the same place.
287
288 
289
290Has killed her. In my brain the own sound of imagination said that is having the fear, is sending trembling, that is my perception, he called me to kill her, the rationality calmly stood in the shadow, I can only look that his shape of the mouth speculated he was hoarse as if television non-signal the words of static - "ran away quickly."
291
292I have held up the metal baseball bat, I remember that has pounded the watermelon with similar thing, aimed one will split, the fresh sweet juice blasted out makes a kind of draw to throw the movement. Where her head to will not go hardly, I roar am brandishing it, must embolden to oneself likely, but my blustering was disintegrated by her smiling face thoroughly.
293
294"Including,
295I love you."
296I called out pitifully crosswise to fling baseball bat, the vase that she bought also together fell on the ground, the flowers presses under the tiles, a little withered leaf fell gently on the floor, the flower petal and juice fanned into the water surface, should the deathly stillness situation, only then a thing was beating cheerfully, the hit chest caused unable to breathe smoothly, that was the baseball bat hits the chair leg of dinner table to stagger along rumble to roll.
297
298Like anything.
299
300Her existence is the weapon for criminal, the iron hammer, the power saw, the crow bar, her both eyes are the knife edges, cuts open my chest patiently, little, grips the creamy soft heart across the rib and fat level, does not pierce the pericardium when listens attentively to me by this oppression the change of palpitation and blood speed of flow, dripping wet momentarily will burst.
301
302Likely is I and her, beautiful, flowers are the same, smile she of danger, according to under the body, massacres.
303
304I have also done this, I gave up the baseball bat overthrowing her, the palm pasted the tight nape of the neck then to point at to buckle to intensify the effort, had forgotten she has said that was two-sided or anything's carotid artery. Her facial features were clearly gathered together into the shadow of incandescent lamp by my body, I thought that has the illumination on my face, making me feel that as if will look at each other will be injured, I want to avoid, but I will see in that blue lake water to have anything to hover, will wait for an opportunity to leap to give fatally strikes, I clearly know that has actually collected the face, has aimed at the arc actually real mirror surface.
305
306Then - saw company - I.
307
308Must cry to be the same simply immediately.
309
310 
311
312"I love you."
313
314"I love you."
315
316"I love you."
317
318"Does not know, me not to know that I thought that thinks I am loving the company, I deeply am loving the company, including is also same, - wants to kill the company."
319
320"Such we can forever in together, that is all."
321
322She said is earnest and naive, chaos is also considered her smiling face to look like the child who acts shamelessly willfully when by first time stabs my brain. But naive does not represent harmlessly, you looked that pounds the flat frog to step on the meat sauce to tear up the child who with the stone the butterfly wing observation puts up a last-ditch struggle, I said that they said is loving these things. The bell she was really too naive, was naive and cruel, she had one's wish, she liked me therefore being probable to massacre me, has thought also has done, so pure white of distortion.
323
324Simply looks like a nightmare, it has blocked my throat gently.
325
326I read out from her eyes was more intense than the past a brighter love and hope, the transparent purity, nobody can understand when I gazed at all these US and US that felt desperate, despaired much.
327
328She said that I love you.
329
330 
331
332Why I must kill you.
333
334 
335
336What have I made?
337
338Her abdomen is inserting that the silver bright knife, I do not think comfortably, but the bell as if very much likes this type of little thing, probably is lovable and easy-to-use? The apple skin that truncates piled in the fruit tray neatly, now same falls with the apple block by her rabbit slipper, the bell shows the naive smiling face, drew close to near my ear speak unhurriedly and clearly saying that spat the rest to bully nearly dyes warmed the air, almost must soak my auricle.
339
340"You can never run away."
341
342Then has kissed my cheek and my lip.
343
344 
345
346"I love you, including."
347This is low Shudong, before resting of crash the door of inconceivable world the story, the milk and biscuit, I open personally.
348
349So long as follows the time mark rabbit, nightmare never will wake up.
350
351I jump suddenly all of a sudden from the aftertaste of fragment, the whole person shook the sound soughing of wind to wear the clothes to run, I cannot stay in the place that she had again, I must run away. Is only holding this idea, cannot attend to other, I tear the door to turn round to pound maliciously, probably this can imprison thoroughly whom.
352
353"I love you."
354
355She was saying.
356
357Resembles her dead for me. She dies for me, if I will die, because of her, I am certainly living, because I have not died.
358
359She became living spirit, took root in my heart, my tear gland and my soul.
360
361In my line of sight is the inexhaustible blue sky, I do not dare to approach the parapet, perhaps the next second I will fall, because she entrained my trouser legs coverings, because I trembled, because I - perhaps I will unable to bear turn, but air tearing pasted crazy and incisive laughter everyone who my ear was sending out can only hear one time.
362
363I understood finally, front plays, but the bell never lies to me - ", although, I want to kill the company, but only I will live I is very painful, died is also the matter that will really need the courage, including, this was good."
364
365The bell crossed the parapet dexterously, in the wind of tall building the skirt flutters, after me, after knowing, thinks that has gripped her hand, she actually with a smile lowered the head to kiss during my referring.
366
367"Including, me loves you."
368
369The bell is not sticks the girlfriend of person, I am also, listened to her to say rarely like this.
370
371Her anything had not explained that no matter also my wish, I think what she said is the truth, she is loving me, but has not wanted to make me die, wanted my this to be crowded the thing to sound the warning the head to calm down to set aside the spatial well ponder is impossible, therefore I lost the part of controls of body to kneel to sit in the place, painfully why changed me also to interrogate.
372
373Why?
374
375If I had kill her courage to be good personally, but my opening and closing lip could not achieve. I also love you, I want to say that I want to grasp her, but she tacitly before that - cleanly. Yes, all my are clean, I am incomprehensible, I unexpectedly naive considering henceforth I was a person.
376
377Parted forever, my lip is shivering, but anything could not say.
378
379This place under is not the entrance, is she to my final gentleness.
380
381 
382
383Runs away quickly.
384
385Death insect, the flame does not extinguish, is thirsty and anhydrous, there necessary sorrow crying cutting tooth, must work as various salting people with the fire fully is the desperate place of painful penalty. A burning sulfur and fire hot lake, day and night can not the peaceful non-foundation pit, but I can also see person who I love. The gear ka the linking, the conveyer belt turning point does not have the road ahead, there station the bell, she is opening both hands as if to hug me, I stare at her both hands, it looks like the snake to climb up my body, making me curious, making me understand ashamed, talked in whispers in my ear, finally made me fall into the crowd.
386
387That is her crime, all her hang on my heart, will therefore lift in any event maliciously balance that side feather.
388
389Then - becomes my crime.
390
391I have only done a matter, that has pushed her.
392
393 
394
395 
396
397"I love you."
398
399"I love you."
400
401"I love you."
402
403"- including."
404
405The vision collision in she blue eyes has as if mixed in the rock magma at that moment, turns upside down flows off from each crevice slowly permeates, the heat degree irons the marrow to leave behind the irretrievable wound.
406
407Before I hear she has crashed, the final words.
408
409"You are my.
410I am your world."
411
412The rich heat wave curled her love language to pat near my ear, the electric current hit a spin to roost following the way in the cranium, this was real, does not have impurity - love, killed Italy, the acquisitive instinct, the hope, the sickness gas, she, splendid. The golden sunshine gathers to try following visual nerve to burn in my brain, she has gotten down the warmest curse to me gently.
413
414I burst into tears.
415
416 
417
418The world had the light, who is that? I want to be gods.
419
420- is I.
421
422 
423
424I and her initially meet am very small time, on the slide of our downstairs park rushed to slide to fall first finally together, time that the adult caught up with cried, then we again had not seen rock the earth.
425
426I and she knew that probably is the matter of elementary school, at that time she looked like also, gentle? Very obvious others family child, will be intelligent and speak, special hiring ......The adult likes, what is most important, can take to fill the person of others collar death spider in the stationery case.
427
428I remember that should have nearly ten years, now that bakery has been closed, but I still remember her, he looks like supports oneself very much freely is also only a child, I have recorded the unclear that time appearance, when the skilled appearance that in the thesis wrote had moved to oneself passed by each time sees, pursued a goal with determination to study to realize the dream well.
429
430Almost, is 34 years of matter. Obviously before, is a short hair ......Moreover dyed other color, I did not deny attractively, but I also loved dearly by money that she took by force, afterward? Afterward I graduated.
431
432Finally, I finally saw her.
433
434"Do not leave me."
435
436I think that you will open both hands to make me jump down in downstairs, supports like our times, unions, but you are only calmly are looking place above motionless, the body turns not the shape that is possible to realize, I cannot see, but that like the pencil, shakes the innumerable fragments in I not obvious place skeleton internal organs probably, then drains along with the blood is more chaotic.
437
438"Good."
439
440I want with you in the same place.
441
442"Do not walk."
443
444I am hugging you of sob when the dream, is repeating insignificant words - was unable to transmit, fantasized that breaks up by rubbing, when my arms extension awakes the side nobody left, evades is more insignificant, the cell phone locks the news under screen, regardless of several times will not change, the fact is so.
445
446"I have had the nightmare."
447
448That is all.
449
450"I dreamed of me to be eaten by wolf quickly."
451
452It is not able to flee.
453
454"Including, me loves you."
455
456I am having nightmare that is unable to wake up.
457
458"I am also."
459
460Bell.
461
462 
463
464The general's family shuts and lets the person who the lock falls, is.
465
466 
467
468I was fearing her death, I was loving her, I have killed her.
469
470This is the fact.
471
472"- do not leave me."
473
474 
475
476- is I.
477
478 
479
480 
481
482 
483
484I ran up to the avenue.
485
486She looks like the spirit, my head has the hand made rag doll that she has not taken away, in the gate has the ordinary lover same to mount in the same place colorful photo booth, on the toilet glass she uses the lipstick to write can also see lov indistinctly, her sanitary napkin and toothbrush, open closet outermost several are she that cheap shop near the university elect, sat No. 3 car ten minutes to buy the cake box to lie down in the trash can, until now the mouth can also surge the flavor that was combining orange taste jam biscuit kissing of white cream, after food dropped the stomach bag, the acid sweetly was pale, I actually still remember.
487
488The wind is obsolete I to be able from downstairs to hear the wind chimes sound of window indistinctly, but also some any static. I cover the ear starting to walk both legs, did not look that the fitness equipment that in the thick patch of grass was bumped to fall the small pot that and proliferates by the arm elbow, the road surface is not good, the bell likes me taking a walk always does not stare at the design of above circulation to be in a daze, I have to pick up the speed, so long as they blurred on the line, although I actually ran am quick I to hear clearly the security to turn head to ask that I "your girlfriend did quarrel with you? Oh ......"
489
490This and I have not related. Had finished, finished. After running the community 100-200 meters, I stop by the sidewalk, back on the public transportation station sign to aspirate gently, I wanted saying that movement this was not anything, this indeed was not anything, before I think these words were a meaning, later was another meaning, I meant that I realized sincerely anything is "desperate".
491
492She in the bills of bookstore several dollars, she eats a banana boat at the dining room and person minute, she gets money to rip the small note in the supermarket counter deftly, she acts like a spoiled brat to buy the blue window blind, she and human pulls to begin to enter the hotel. One that after this merely is I rest to rest short, at will looks up, looked like goes all out to struggle to see the hope with own eyes visits it to extinguish, that flash my heart turned into several hundred kilograms iron slab, the air drag ignores it decisively to fall radically, crashed into the abyss. I keep running forward, yes, is she, is, I as if have looked at many people, has actually seen only her, I staggered, accelerates to flee.
493
494However.
495
496Completely completely completely is she. Was fully occupied by her trace with the shadow like this world, carefully looks not same, but I thought that is she, she exists in the different people, she is the light, is the abyss, she loafs is smiling to me, she is ubiquitous, I may run away roadless.
497
498Parted forever, whose existence is unable to make you return truly, you were only each person traveler, you loosened my hand.
499
500But I want with you in the same place.
501
502I note the static in my brain, in this pen world it is getting more and more resounding, exports the front door included angle getting smaller unable to pass until the light, therefore reverberates even more recklessly. "I like you" "I liking you" "I liking you" "I liking you" "I liking you" "I liking your me liking you" "I liking you" "I liking you" "I liking you" "I liking you" "I liking you" "I liking your me liking your me liking you" "I liking you" "I liking you" "I loving you" ......
503
504"- bell."
505
506I think that I was insane.
507
508I lost escaping desire finally completely. The both legs must be broken by pressing heavily, I can only kneel down on the ground, I cannot cry, I only thought that the oxygen in lung has found time to whom, I pinch the neck to alleviate the stabbing pain that type raises suddenly, is the incisive knife edge inserts the throat upwardly to make an effort by the side to cut open likely crooked, felt that the physiological tears with my eye and I similarly blue eyes separation, the regular design in ground unknowingly wriggled, I saw in the dream to melt the stove of bell, clearly felt to scalding hot of bad risk heading on to the bone chew, I actually felt that unable. In fire that extinguishes ......Shows the sky blue.
509
510Had finished, finished.
511
512Completely just like she said that she has become the world, I only remaining she, I belonged her. She is loving me, I am also loving her, we take oneself to imprison as the pen mutually, we disregard the distance to restrict the opposite party, she died, she not, but she is near at hand, she finds at everywhere.
513
514 
515
516- this is only then our world.
517
518 
519
520 
521
522Opening eyes is a ceiling, must unable to bear the thought in vain blow off, then in the dream the desperate picture closed to surround him, must force to tow him to go back. The mirror sound even can hear to have the present laughter continually, completely, harmless.
523
524And Does not want ......Do not walk.
525
526Fortunately some people were trying to find out has gripped his hand. Turning the head is the sleepy eyes dim lover, is an elder sister, the slender finger covers his, like the nail in the anchor of shore, no longer returns to the pen of reality his handcuffs unreal, at that moment he is very gratified, the gentle love that the lover gives, making people slightly relieved.
527
528"Has had the nightmare."
529
530He set out to size up itself, the clothes knot has not buckled, as if broke away a moment ago, the sweat fell following the symbolic panic-stricken face curve from the forehead, the hell fire in that dream burnt him to have a parched mouth, has written off all security senses.
531
532Unceasingly the redundant death with the sweetheart, and the table, loved and hates, eternal shackles.
533
534Luckily is ......Dream.
535
536She by herself, rests the suspenders of skirt to fall, thus the mirror sound hears her palpitation not to stop to transmit continually in own chest, is gentle and stable, light as if loosens the string the balloon same to lift off slowly.
537
538So made the person ache.
539
540So feels at ease.
541
542I have made one ......Dream.
543
544 
545
546 
547
548It looks like the final supper. Closes the eye at the sleep, that may have a dream, the person of having a dream does not know one are having a dream, is not so realistic anything is the dream.
549
550I summoned her.
551"Bell."
552I grasped her.
553
554Pale finger insertion golden sunlight actually cannot warm, truly moves anything, warming up, dropped in the shoulder.
555
556- in hand derived the body temperature, but calmly is seething with excitement the metal is dodging ice-cold black light.
557
558"Parted forever."
559
560 
561
562 
563
564Parted forever.
565
566Parted forever.