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1Persona 5 had no intention of stealthily infiltrating the gaming world in 2017 as it stole countless treasured hearts with its vivacity and ebullience. Nominated as a GOTY contender, ATLUS’ flagship did not disappoint; blessing gamers with a hundred-hour epic filled to the brim with exciting plot twists, a gritty, realistic, yet charming cast, and countless timeless experiences that will grace any player with the highest of highs and lowest of lows.
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3Yet, as will always be the case for narrative-driven games, many remained uncompelled and unenthused. Queries regarding direction and focus are oft raised. Such persons believe that Persona 5 is a boring, empty experience, which loses the verve and vigour that so charms early in the game. Claims include the Okumura arc being relatively weak, the cast annoying, that social interactions and confidants dry out far too quickly, as well as overall criticism of the title’s writing.
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5We agree. However, we agree for entirely different reasons. It may be correct to criticise the game in such a fashion if you were to simply interpret the narrative on a surface level, taking it at face value - a journey of identity and exploration into the psyche of individuals as well as society as a collective. But we don’t believe this is the right point of view.
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7What if I told you that the narrative was far more subliminal and sinister than meets the eye? What if I told you that the REAL plot lay behind the scenes, taking place before the story began, and that the game one plays is nothing more than a stageplay, a circus act centred around the folly of just one pathetic creature?
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9You see, the entire plot of Persona 5 is an allegory about Morgana’s cuckold fetish, manifesting in his distorted desires for Ann Takamaki.
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11The true tale begins far before the beginning of the apparent plotline. Morgana was never the residual hope of humanity, he was a pre-existing materialization of society’s greatest underlying perversions, a concentrated amalgam of unspeakable, forbidden lust coupled with ferocious, unrelenting embarrassment. His existence is axiomatically attracted to Ann because Ann’s character is literally designed to be as archetypally enticing and objectified as possible. The latex suit, the whip, the domineering attitude - the exaggerated luscious hair, characterisation choices such as portraying her as a model in her confidant - all deliberate attempts to ensure we as players see her from Morgana’s submissive eyes in a cliched primarily sexual manner.
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13Morgana was after Ann right from the start. Before he even knew exactly what she looked like or who she was, his purpose, his telos, orbits around her existence, gravitationally pulled towards her as its epicenter. The problem was, he fucked up. Amidst scrambling to scour for her location his lust was so strong he ended up fucking with the most ancient, primal desires of mankind, and consequently stirred up a fuckton of emotion-manifested “gods” such as . Little dude was just trying to get his rocks off but ends up fucking with crazy shit, so he has to settle down and play the waiting game until it all boils over. Meanwhile, he hires the Velvet Room cast as paid actors in order to further his deception, but despite hiring them nonetheless aids in imprisoning Igor and splitting Lavenza in half so they forget about his pathetic fetishes and monumental fuckup so that they don’t judge him as harshly. The rest, as they say, is history.
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15On top of this, Persona 5 coerces players to engage with significantly uncomfortable motifs, deliberately jarring our inter-subjective perception of cuckoldry with consistent thematic devices. One such example lies within the game's characterisation. Each character provides their own symbolism; Ryuji as a cripple represents society viewing cucks as mentally and physically inferior, his leg alluding to the perception that they’ll never, metaphorically, be able to “catch up” to superior males and their way of thinking. Kamoshida is Catholicism, creating an endless cycle of broken legs - staunch traditionalism that has taken root within millennia of authoritative conditioning, fundamentally oppressing cuckoldry. Mishima represents cuckolds who go online and speak ill of their own fetish, reinforcing society’s rejection in the name of saving face.
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17Yaldabaoth is /r/the_donald.
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19Igor is Motherless.
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21Haru, though seemingly a figure representing innocence, actually takes a somewhat villainous seat in the symbolic monsoon that surrounds Morgana. As her “fiancee” is coaxed by “Morgana” into sleeping with her for his pleasure, “Haru” makes the decision that she no longer feels comfortable with the emotional toll his fetish takes, and rejects the proposal, epitomised very obviously by her rejection of her arranged marriage in the game's surface plotline. Along with this, their underdeveloped relationship and the vague nature of their meeting are meant to symbolize “Morgana’s” corrupted priorities as a result of his fetish, as he values his wife - and the memories of her that he has - far less than the pleasure he gains from his cuckoldry fetish. On that note, Haru’s abusive fiancee is simply Morgana’s friend from work who asks to fuck his wife constantly.
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23The fixation that Futaba’s character has on technology - mainly the internet - and her broken spirit in the face of the various childhood tragedies she was put through by the figures that loom over the plot, as well as her liberation from the effects of those tragedies by our cast of main characters, is meant to represent the brutal crushing of a soon-to-be cuckolds childhood innocence; realised through images and videos that make them so afraid, yet provide such perverse euphoria. Thus begins the cuckold’s blooming fixation on these intimidating images, and their liberation from their own prison, illustrated through Futaba’s dark, “dank”, self-confined bedroom, and through Sojiro grinning from ear to ear each morning exclaiming “look who came out of her cave!” to the unenthused Gen Zed as he gleefully prepares his first cup of Cambodian-high-mountain-altitude-bean-double-short-black-coffee of the day.
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25Finally, to Goro Akechi, a character with far more complex intentions than one might first assume. A man who, in the eyes of the adoring public, believes in the simple ideals of justice; and represents an archetype, one which antithesises our cat-like cuckolds existence. Though many men espouse values of acceptance and sexual liberation among historically persecuted demographics, the cuckolds have steadily remained just out of their view - a very horny black sheep, if you will. Goro is one of these people, gasping at the very thought of cuckoldry, his nose representing his fixation on ideals and fetishes he perceives as masculine, and his rejection of those that inherently juxtapose this perception. While his character’s slight fixation on pancakes represents his desire for wholesome vanilla sex, his body’s rejection of the ultra spicy takoyaki in one of the game’s pivotal worldbuilding scenes represents his unwillingness to accept less neurotypical sexual acts, even though his publicly communicated values may say otherwise. Underneath this ideological foreskin, however, is a far simpler desire. One for acceptance by his father, Shido, who in turn represents society at large in Akechi’s symbolic profile, his detective’s journal if you will. Consequently, because his authority figures reject alternative sexuality, he must too, a creating Rube Goldberg machine of ideals that simply adds to an endless cycle of persecution - a system Morgana intrinsically rejects.
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27Those are just the characters - but there’s even more to this little story, folks. So, as we all, we all know (and I really mean “we all”… yeah, you over there, buddy in the back of the room, I’m pointing my laser pointer at you. Wakey wakey, fuckstick! Yeah, you, dipshit, not the guy next to you, not the guy behind you because there isn’t one, that’s a fucking wall, a brick fucking wall with your face written all over it if you aren’t careful! Never sleep in my class again, or I swear to God your student-teacher peer evaluation is gonna have so much red pen over those papers there’ll be a sea of blood spelling your name on it) Morgana throws out terms... buzzwords, if you will - like "cognition" and "metaverse" to confuse the naive, chronically uncucked cast... But we internet savvy game theorists know better... Heh... A convenient tale. A little too convenient, to be honest.
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29In "reality" (if you'll, yeah, excuse the pun...) Palaces are not only representative of hidden desires, but are also manifestations of Morgana’s memories and emotions concerning his various hiding places and important events in his journey as a young cuckold. To put it bluntly, Palaces are literally manifestations of various closets Morgana has hidden in throughout his life where he has watched his wife get drilled in her pretty pink ass. Moreover, each Palace in Persona 5 is distinct in what its architectural and theatrical design conveys, expressed as follows in order
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31Casa De Kamoshida: The basest manifestation of Morgana’s cuckold desires, watching his “girlfriend” get fucked in his home, more specifically him hiding in his antique victorian dresser while he watches her get fucked on his bed. The volleyball team motif in the lust-fuelled castle is simply a “treasured” flashback to his high school days, where he would watch Chad (Kamoshida) fuck the entire team from the safety of a gym locker.
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33Madarame’s Gallery: Realizing that the taut young art student that is fucking his girlfriend is actually gay and literally only fucking her to reverse cuckold him out of spite, which makes him even antsier. The artists’ portraits adorning the walls of the gallery are in fact every single guy and girl ever who has fucked Morgana’s wife before him, and represent his obsession with collecting their LinkedIn profile pictures into photo albums titled “Encyclopedia of my Precious Flower’s Inner Sanctum Explorers”
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35Kaneshiro’s Bank: Investing money in Kink.com stocks then watching his wife get fucked in a bathroom stall on Wall Street, before the sight of his undiversified portfolio in CuckCoin subsidiaries plummeting in net worth sends him into a crazed mental state.
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37Futaba’s Pyramid: Feverishly uploading amateur videos of his wife being fucked to PornHub Community and XNXX and then getting pissed when people export them to other sites, calling them “stupid hackers” when he finds them on VK under filenames such as “dumbfuck_guy_NTRd_hard097.mov”
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39Okumura’s Spaceship: Realizing that your wife isn’t super into your kink anymore and getting a hot new lady for your adventures. Importantly, the spaceship isn’t consistent with the general Phantom Thievery trope - locations such as casinos, pyramids, and banks are all stereotypical targets for theft - and this allegedly conveys how such rejection of your wife’s demands is inherently unnatural to a staunch cuckold, since they are your mistress and goddess, your very reason for being, and - most of all - the cause and effect behind why your wallet is so fucking dry all the time from paying for her overpriced Sephora foundations and Naked 3 palette.
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41Sae’s Casino: Paying people to fuck the aforementioned side chick and then getting in trouble for prostitution because he put up a craigslist ad with personal info. This, combined with the fact that he has blown his entire life savings on a mixture of cryptocurrency and his wife’s shoes, those fucking shoes, plus the impending doom of a drawn out legal battle which he knows will bankrupt him, leads him to blow the remainder of his meager funds on goth hookers and Riichi Mahjong.
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43Shido’s Ark: The ark. Salvation. Morgana’s triumph. For what better way to solve your problems than through your very livelihood? The peak of all evil? Allow your inner sins to guide your life and you shall be rewarded. This, I say, saves him. Cuckoldry saves him. By letting the judge and lawyer double team his side chick while he watches, he’s allowed to get out of the court date. His humiliation delivers him from the jaws of certain defeat.
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45Mementos: Celebration ensues. The AnimeExpo afterdark party at a nightclub. How long is a piece of string? How deep is Mementos? How fucked up do the dancefloor orgies get? Is the bottom of Mementos really correlated to that ultimate fucked up hellhole gay club in Berlin that one Vice article wrote about where there’s blood and semen coating the floor and everyone seems to lose themselves for at least 72 hours in a drug-fuelled stupor? Only Morgana knows the answer to all these. After all, he was born there, remember?
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47Corrupted Tokyo: Gangbang aftermath. Gotta throw out the soiled sheets and everything.
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49Then, finally. It has been brought to “our” attention that an alternative theory exists. This hypothesis posits that the Velvet Room is actually just LeBlanc’s basement. Sojiro simply drugs joker with his exotic coffees and laced curry, and, whilst asleep in a fevered dream, drags him down by hand to his prop-filled basement and takes on the role of Igor. This conspiracy remains plausible mostly because it is predicated on Sojiro knowing the most about the Metaverse of any man, due to the fact that he absorbed research information on it through semi-permeable membranes in Wakaba Isshiki’s vagina.
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51However, as with all that is written by man, this alternative theory is quite flawed, though it may not seem so at first glance. For experienced theorists, a quick glance at the data may be all that is needed to discount the theory. For the laymen, such as you, the reader. A simple lesson in the dramatic motif of the Persona series may suffice just as well. You see, even amongst its darker Jungian and demonic themes, Persona games all seem to share a particular obsession over one simple element of the human experience, shown through both story and gameplay systems:
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53Friendship
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55Or, should I say, “Friends”hip.
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57Throughout the Persona 5 experience, Joker is introduced to various wacky characters, all with different motives and lifestyles, but all who share the desire to live their lives to the best of their ability; helped along by the good-natured phantom thievery of our protagonist.
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59But who, may I ask, was the first true friendly face Joker met at the beginning of his adventure as a Tokyo Rogue? Reach deep into your mind, and without a doubt you will find the answer to be Sojiro, the beloved Coffee Father who showed Joker the ropes of both Curry and Kopi Luwak. But, behind his cold, bitter facade, what is he TRULY hiding? Well, rest assured theorists, for I will tell you. Take a look at Sojiro’s hair. What color is it, may i ask. Surely even you, in your infinite foolishness, can tell me the answer….. yes, black! Black as Night, black as the Witch’s cursed cat, Black as the hair of popular Rock and Roll guitarist Dave Navarro! And, along with that, what, pray tell, is the name of his cherished Grown-Up Chocolate Mill shop? Yes….. LeBlanc….
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61Now, let’s take a look at our database for a Ferryman’s Minute……. what other black haired character associated with the name LeBlanc can we find…..especially one who could have been a young, bright eyed man in the 1990’s? After some careful detective work, only one man fits that very specific bill…. Joey “Joker” Tribianni, a primary cast member on the Television show “Friends” played by one Mathieau Leblanc….. hmmm… “Leblanc”.
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63Gazing upon this similarity, there is only one connection to make. As the resident expert on this topic, i will take you through it.
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65You see, in the final episode of Friends, the titular “Friends” decide to go for one last cup of coffee together, at which point Chandler sarcastically quips, “where?” as he is wont to do. After this, the camera pans away from the apartment that held so many of their memories, ending their comedic adventures for good…. or so we thought. What this heartwarming ending doesn’t show you is that, upon asking “where?”, Gunther, the funny Coffee King, appears unannounced, with a strange pager in his hand. Sweaty, and with ragged, unearthly panting, he responds to Chandler’s facetious quip with a strange remark:
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67“The Metaverse, you fool….where else?”
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69Upon hearing this, Joey instantly jumps into action. He had been waiting for this day for quite some time, a fact unbeknownst to the other friends. You see, even before the show’s run Joey had been fighting his own personal demons within the Metaverse, confronting his own desire to become the world’s greatest actor, at any cost. Upon discovering that he held the power to change the fates of others as well, he began helping various people in the New York City area, though there were none he loved helping more than his wonderful group of friends, Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Ross, and of course, Phoebe. Throughout the show’s run the friends would be confronted with various problems, problems that suspiciously always seemed to sort themselves out in the end…. however, what had really been occurring behind the scenes was that Joey had been using his pager to enter the Metaverse and steal the hearts of those engulfed by anger, sorrow, and jealousy, especially those he was close to. In an effort to feign ignorance, Joey utilized his one skill that he didn’t owe to his Metaverse pager: his acting. Joey, every single day, hides behind a dopey facade in order to keep his friends off of his trail. But, unbeknownst to him, there was another who kept similar secrets - someone a bit too close for comfort. This man was Gunther, the manager of the cafe the friends frequented, even holding a permanently reserved table in the friends’ fair name, through his fair game. Upon discovering each other’s powers, Joey attempted to recruit Gunther to his cause. However, Gunther only wished to use his powers to obtain one thing: the love of Rachael, whom he had watched - possibly even stalked - every time she entered his cherished shop. Joey, sensing deep, malevolent intentions, attempted to steal Gunther’s heart, but alas, the damage had already been done. Failing in his task, Joey waited for the day that Gunther would finally mount an attack against the Friends, and, as the final hour dawned, the time had finally come. Gunther spoke the words clear as day, “Apartment, Expensive, Unrealistic…. Heartbroken….” with these words, Gunther had done it. Each night he waited on the fire escape of Rachel’s apartment, watching her sleep, listening to her snore….. it was no wonder that his obsession with her resulted in the creation of a Palace of his own within her apartment. Now that the Friends were in his domain he summoned his persona, Echo, and began to attack. First, he targeted the weakest of the group, Monica. Joey summoned his persona, Proteus, but it was too late. Chandler, bless his noble heart, had jumped in front of Monica, shielding her from the attack but sustained a deep head wound as a result. Disheartened, but on the offensive, Joey used his signature attack, Waves Of Change, on Gunther, which seemed to work well. However, with Echo damaged, Gunther had yet another trick up his sleeve. He summoned his second Persona “Narcissus”, and attacked Joey with his ultimate move “Soul Mirror”. Joey, taking the full brunt of this attack, had his youthful looks stolen from him, and aged at least 20 years. Ross, though normally cowardly, decided that he couldn’t simply stand by and do nothing, and ran at Gunther, his fists preparing for a punch. Gunther readied his attack, but Proteus protected him. “I won’t….. let you die here, Ross…”, said Joey, smirking with a tear in his eye. “After all, you’ve only just found your reason to live….” Gunther crushed Proteus’ arm, wounding Joey even further, and Ross had finally had enough. His Persona was finally awakened….. its name?
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71Arsene.
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73With azure flames, he burned through Narcissus’ defenses. “T-this power…. what the heck is it!?”, Phoebe asked, obviously unable to process the situation.
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75“I don’t really know myself, Feebs”, said Ross, sounding more confident than ever, “But, with it…. I’ll….. I’ll protect you all! Let’s do this, Arsene!”. Using his new power, Ross charged at Gunther, launching him through the doorway of the apartment. Gunther was smashed against the wall, severely weakened by the sudden burst of power, and Ross readied his final attack. “Well, Coffeeman…”, Ross paused, “I guess revenge is a drink….”, he paused yet again, “...best served cold!” With this line, he shot (of coffee) a look at Joey, who used Bufu to freeze Gunther to the wall.
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77“Sorry Gunther, guess you’ll be counting tips in hell….. Eiha!”. Ross blasted Gunther with a wave of demonic energy, and in an instant, he was defeated.
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79Or so they thought.
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81Gunther, his body charred and corrupted beyond recognition, began to scream loudly. This scream, frightening as it was, was little warning for what was to come.
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83“No….nooooo….Nooauugghhhh...ra...chel…. RACHELLLLLLLLLL!”
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85Suddenly, the screams ceased, and he began to cry. He raised his head very slowly, like a bleached blonde marionette, and began to stare at the friends - tears still in his eyes. The sides of his mouth turned themselves up into something almost resembling a smile. With this, he finally spoke again.
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87“Ka….gut….su….chi….”
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89In an instant, a blue light appeared in the sky. The friends could do nothing but watch as New York City was warped and reshaped by the Kagutsuchi’s power, with the souls of the non-awakened friend’s leaving their bodies. Gunther quickly user the Amala network to travel away from Ross and Joey, as they meditated on their current predicament.
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91“Joe….. we… we’ve gotta stop this!”, screamed Ross, obviously terrified.
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93“Don’t you think I know that, ya dumbo? Got any bright Ideas, big guy?”
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95Ross stared for a moment, deep in thought.
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97Joey sighed.
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99“Guess there’s only one way, then.”
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101Joey and Ross, their Personas in tow, fought through hordes of demons in the spherical vortex which was once New York City, until they finally reached the tower of the great and powerful Kagutsuchi; a being which held the power to create the world anew.
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103Though the battle was won, Joey sustained grievous wounds. After having to defeat a bloodthirsty, Baal-possessed Phoebe and a solitary nihilistic version of their friend Chandler within the tower, he could take the fighting no longer. It was all he could do to continue talking. “Ross…… I’m sure you remember…. Joey doesn’t share food….urp…”, he began to cough up blood, “But, in my final moments I finally realize….. Joey never shared feelings either….. I’m sorry, brother….I’ve always loved you…. and everyone…. please, make the new world a better place… for me….for….everyone.”
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105Joey’s hands went limp. His eyes glazed over. Suddenly, Ross’s tears had stopped.
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107He stood up, and with his back turned to the Kagutsuchi, he began to speak.
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109“Kagutsuchi.”
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111“Yes, Human?”
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113“Make a new world. A beautiful world. One where we can be free of this burden that has been placed upon us. One where… one where I can see my friends again…. No matter the cost!”
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115“So it shall be”, spoke the Kagutsuchi. And, so it was. Spiralling through the void of creation, Ross’s memories were shuffled and remade, his new body, and the bodies of his former friends, being placed in modern day Japan... a country of peace.
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117However, little did they know, A familiar menace followed quietly behind, a Metaverse pager in hand…..
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119And there you have it folks, our theory on the events leading up to and concerning the Persona 5 mythos. Hope you learned something. And hey, if you enjoyed, why not leave some thoughts in the comments?