B3Cqfd39

1I named my horse mayo, may neighs,
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3why do people named matthew always go by matt and never hew,
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5I have a flat tire, I should’ve brought asparagus,
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7when your designated driver is getting more drunk than you,
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9remus, hey how bout we call our sick new city reme, romulus,
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11after a plane crash, pilot, are you guys mad at me,
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13days since I have last thought about king julian from madagascar, 0,
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15you, I got a headache, web MD, it’s gonna be your last one,
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17me, I should pay more attention to her, other me, piss her off on purpose so she says good night at 6 PM and you can play video games in peace,
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19milk, synonyms for milk, moo juice,
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21you don’t realize how old a movie is until you see the computer in it,
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23van gogh's ear, exists, van gogh,
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25nibbas deadass be living by volcanoes and get mad when it do volcano shit lmao,
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27most pictures of food you see is now shit,
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29me in my 20’s, it’s not easy being old,
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31types of headache, migraine, hypertension, stress, being mister clean,
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33can a pregnancy drink beer if 9 months is not arrive, forget about the beer, this type of english can cause miscarriage,
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35you’re going to start your homework as soon as you get home and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself,
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37a scene from a scary movie I watched 4 years go, me at 4 AM,
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39ladies if he, is hot, always smells good, makes your mouth water, tastes amazing, leaves you feeling happier than ever, that’s not your man, that’s garlic bread,
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41retweet this if your retirement plan is basically civilization will probably crumble before I’m 65 and money will be meaningless anyway,
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43it’s like a sauna in here,
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45I’m so lonely right now, call your boyfriend, make love to the cat,
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47geneva convention, exists, japan, did you mean suggestion,
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49at least you’re not one of those people who say their eye color changes based on their mood,
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51we’re aware of an issue that is causing a change in account follower numbers for some people right now, we’re working to resolve this as quickly as possible, please don’t, I unfollowed my fake friends and blamed it on you guys,
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53I collect all cell phones and iPads from the kids at night and keep them in my room, last night those little assholes all set alarms to go off at various times throughout the night, I’m impressed with their ingenuity and team effort, they’re all grounded,
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55I threw up in the toilet, you ok, you’re getting blocked if you keep that up,
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57fortnite creator is buying thousands of acres of forests to stop it from being cut down, I forgive you,
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59china, grows tea, give me the plant,
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61a hot guy gave me his number and this is what I fucking do, hey, I wonder who it could be, it’s a me mario,
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63scientists found a cure for your stupid fucking face,
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65please tell my wife the phone is unfixable she wants to check the call history, 100 dollars is yours thanks,
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67bush did 9 11,
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69slavery is big gay, penny nibba,
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71give you up, run around, let you down, desert you, rick astley,
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73you’re ugly, you don’t have any friends, the meeme you sent was shit, you better watch your mouth,
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75ever seen a baby do a fucking backflip, monster hard baby fuel,
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77the pacific ocean has 3.9 stars out of five on google maps, who the fuck is downvoting the oceans, sandy cheeks, 1 star, I wish I was back in texas, the ocean is no place for a squirrel, I wish I was back in texas the prettiest place in the world, I guess deep in my heart I’ll always be a texas girl, I wanna go hoooooooooooooome,
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79fuck the duck until exploded, excuse me fuck the what,
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81when you’re looking for your shoe and you inadvertently discover a gateway to another dimension,
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83just one more episode, just one more page, just one more piece, just one more revolution,
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85pornhub, are you 18 plus, the law requires that I answer yes,
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87statistically bearded men are more likely to cheat on their partners than bearded women,
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89feel old yet, wow,
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91same color, delete this,
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93the waitress at olive garden smiles weakly as she serves me my 100th bread stick, the other patrons are cheering, my family left hours ago,
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95cheese and bread until I’m dead,
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97scientists can now transform stress into electricity, me, unlimited power,
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99my flatmate ladies and gents, the hot water bottle you gave me doesn’t work, put water into it like 2 hours ago and it’s still not heated up, did you heat the water up before you put it in, a thought that was the bottle’s job,
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101a hippo, some guy being chased by a hippo,
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103my last two brain cells watching me make this meeme instead of working on my project that’s due tomorrow that I haven’t even started on,
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105when you find your cousins epipen,
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107me, I’m having such a good time, brain, sure would suck if you get hit with a low mood and go nonverbal and come off as rude and uninterested in your friends, me, softly, don’t,
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109poland, so I am an independent country right, every country neighboring poland, well yes but actually no,
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111sometimes all your body is crying except your eyes,
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113my grandma going around telling people I fix phones just cuz I took her phone off silent,
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115my anti-vaxx mom, I did not get my son vaccinated and he is still a healthy teenager, my dad who got me secretly vaccinated,
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117ok don’t let them know you’re a chicken, interviewer, what do you like, me, not crossing the road,
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119I don’t want to leave you on read but I don’t know how to respond,
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121I like your profile photo, thanks yours is shit, I apologize for this comment I am now a nicer man, restoration 100,
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123legendary level of advertising, our LED lights change your perspective,
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125when you realize you were the only sperm out of thousands to survive so you could sit and look at meemes, very lucky,
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127luigi’s chinese cowboy impression is so offensive that mario’s stomach ulcer practically explodes and he is unable to ask luigi to stop being so fucking racist,
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129jimmy fallon, I have a white rock, jimmy fallon’s,
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131writer, writes literally any sentence, literature teachers, oh shit that’s deep,
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133people in 2017 when you say boneless pizza,
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135when you hack the school projector and put meemes on it, I hope mom and dad don’t find out,
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137viewers, youtube, tik tok ads,
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139omg is that my new neighbor, bring over cookies, kidnap and sell her to the highest bidder,
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141me studying for exams, my friend who finished school last year,
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143nobody, sheck wes, bitch,
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145ness amibo and smore poptart, 48 dollars and 69 cents,
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147banana boy, I was your uber driver like 3 months ago, leave me the fuck alone,
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149your child is being eaten by a camel, do you a, save your child or b, take a photo,
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151what’s the craziest excuse your man ever told you for not coming home at night, he said he was cleaning his house and mopped himself into a corner, he had to wait for the floors to dry and fell asleep,
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153nine one one what is your emergency, what do you mean you’re being murdered, that’s illegal people can’t do that,
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155what tattoo you want, I want to look rich,
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157b, bb, bbb, bbbb, bbbbb,
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159confess my feeling for her, confess my feeling for her, confess my feeling for her, stay quiet and mess up your chances with her, me being a pussy,
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161doc, sir you’ve got a very rare disease, pat, how rare, doc, you pick the name,
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163me, the last french fry, my girlfriend,
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165when a russian tries to speak to you, sorry I don’t speak adidas tracksuit,
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167brandon long,
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169the revolution has begun,
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171I don’t know what’s so sad about the mars rover dying I’m gonna die cold and alone too, difference is the mars rover contributed to society,
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173me going to a friend’s party at chuck e cheese, my parents,
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175console players, pc players, chess players,
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177I’m sorry I tried to escape, I’m not mad I’m just disappointed, don’t let your guard down,
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179this is the most surreal image I’ve ever seen, stranger, hi, luigi, you, sup, stranger, having any luck finding milfs, ha-ha, you, yeah, stranger, nice I am jealous, stranger is typing,
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181when dad sneaks you out of the house to go get vaccinated,
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183what’s on your mind, how the fuck does jesus backwards sound like sausage,
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185what’s that, it’s hideous, well that’s not very nice, it’s just a donkey, shrek is the god of self confidence,
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187when the microwave do all that damn poppin but your food still cold, you raggedy bitch,
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189did you know, you’ve technically never watched a full movie because you blink, I thought I’m the only one who pause the movie to blink,
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191what I was interested in when I was six, huge alligator, what I am interested in now, huge alligator,
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193hint of lime tortilla chips, me trying to eat better,
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195wait, that’s a seagull,
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197porn website, kids under 18, are you over 18,
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199I’m your leg, don’t mind if I,
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201greek mythologist, you guys always act like you’re better than me, nibbas whomst read percy jackson,
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203it’s a sushi kinda night,
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205high school was supposed to prepare us for college, then how come I learned 4 years of MLA format and now all my essays are APA,
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207one of the kids at my job wrote me a nice lil letter, dear mister walker you are ugly,
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209you have been visited by sleep doggo, you must now get a good night’s sleep, sleep well,
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211dick, pee pee, meat popsicle, guacamole nibba penis,
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213we’re aware of an issue that is causing a change in account follower numbers for some people right now, we’re working to resolve this as quickly as possible, please, I lost 100k, omg are you okay,
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215always wonder how girls coordinate boomerangs unoe like okay jess you do the funny tongue thing and I’ll do the flicky hair move but what about rebecca she needs an action fuck it she can do the wiggle drop combo okay 321 fuck we forgot to cheers to drinks we gotta start again now,
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217a wall of thoughts moving hella slow, me trying to get to my class on time,
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219tests I didn’t study for, me, snow day,
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221opportunity, opportunity come on, you got to get up, we got to go home,
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223it is time to go, was I a good mars rover, no, I’m told you were the best,
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225did you know, kansas city welcomes 25 million visitors anally,
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227daughter, dad will you just chill, dad, I am chill, daughter, I thought you were dad,
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229chris evans to star in new antoine fuqua blockbuster infinite, this is clearly an act of aggression, there are literally hundreds of photos to choose from, what did I ever do to you canada,
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231you guys always act like you’re better than me,
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233oh I understand it, during exam,
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235thank you, 65 divided by 6 equals 65 over 6,
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237when you hear a child say sharing is caring, communist detected on american soil, lethal force engaged,
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239god, adam and eve after eating the forbidden fruit,
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241my fridge, me finding snack, wow look, nothing,
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243I challenge you brave knight, draw your sword, you know what, that’s so good we’re gonna put it on the fridge,
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245school bans valentine’s day after 6 year old tells teacher he would plough her into next week,
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247french, latin, nordic, german, greek, english,
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249woman, shampoo for dry and damaged hair, man, shampoo 6 in 1 for hair face body carpet car and dishes,
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251when the wall is finished but they find oil in mexico,
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253students, why can’t you just teach us taxes, teachers, screams in pythagorean theorem,
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255okay starbucks I’m pretty sure I didn’t ask for butthole juice in my drink, iced coffee no classic 3 pumps hazelnut butthole juice with almond milk,
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257nobody, swedish dog, bjark,
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259me going to bed, a sudden urge to poo,
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261what if we use 100 percent of the brain, create a netflix account on january 29th so you can get the free month trial which suppose to end on february 29th but the things is february 29th only comes one in 4 years so boom you get free netflix for 4 years,
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263hellboy, shrek, the simpsons,
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265when your crush asks what you wanna eat, u lol,
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267my dog, me, a chip that fell,
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269when you are flying into normandy and hear a loud boom, flak,
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271y’all better not be talking during silent reading time,
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273when you tell a totally unfunny joke at the dinner table, your mom, your dad, your brother, jimmy fallon,
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275how I met your cousin,
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277saying thank you to the flight attendant as you leave the plane, clapping when the plane lands, clapping during the flight, bringing fireworks on the plane to celebrate the flight,
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279are u girl, yes, lets mak baby, he is speaking the language of gods,
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281cowboy advice, 1, be rootin, 2, be tootin, 3, and by god be shootin, but most of all be kind,
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283I think minecraft is better than fortnite because fortnite is a shooting killing game and I don’t like killing people, minecraft is more peaceful than fortnite, brandon lung 9,