ACeydDs3

1Desolate Guardians
2
3Statistically, somewhere in the early hours of Christmas morning, more people are asleep than at any other moment during the year. Me? I'm working.
4
5And I love that the world is quiet. That's less people to bother me, and more thickness for the walls of darkness and solitude that surround this place. As the off-hours network manager, I'm typically alone in my duties, and I don't have to manage much of anything. I don't have to train people, or deal with customer issues. All I have to do is make sure our extremely expensive network doesn't go down or lock up or implode when nobody else is around.
6
7With today's technology, that means I spend the vast majority of my time sitting around and browsing things online. I'm pretty sure I've seen the entire Internet. I used to cover my tracks by deleting my connection history from the network log, but, one week I forgot… and nobody cared. I quickly got the sense that nobody was even looking, and, if they did, they wouldn't give a crap about the browsing history of the off-hours network manager.
8
9I mean, realistically, what else was I supposed to do? Cooped up in this half-dark, half-rainbow server room, alive with the breath of endless banks of computers and the cooling system needed to keep it all from melting… I used to joke to myself that my ultimate responsibility here was to literally pull the plugs out of the walls if the air conditioning ever stopped working, something no software could ever do, and something a monkey could have managed - but my little joke ceased being funny when I realized that was actually, probably, most likely the case. I'm a glorified button pusher.
10
11Once I'd seen the entire Internet, I grew bolder. I began looking at files on our own network. I had excuses lined up if anybody came to ask what I was doing… but nobody ever did. We did quite a bit of work with military contractors, and it was rather astounding to sift through bid documents, designs, and plans that dealt in the billions of dollars. It was all protected and encrypted, of course… except I was the acting network administrator. Score one for the network being far too big for anyone to lock down perfectly.
12
13There were files, emails, and logged communications from practically everywhere, and a few places I'd never even heard of. We weren't military, or governmental, but we did business with them all. VPs discussed third-world coups over lunch, accountants logged tax tricks that were clearly illegal but heavily obfuscated and ready to be pinned on patsies hired for the task of taking the fall, and soldiers emailed their families back home.
14
15That was the thing about these memos and emails. Unlike the swarm of crap on the Internet, they were real. One soldier's email chain ended two months ago, and the subsequent data linked to his widow trying to get money out of our insurance department despite their best efforts to renege on the payout. These were real people being churned through the system. Was that widow asleep somewhere right now, ready to fake her way through Christmas morning with her daughter, or was she still awake, with anger and despair gnawing at her?
16
17I mean, I had access… and the system was the system… and I knew it was inevitable. Alone in here ad infinitum, I'd eventually do it. Why not now?
18
19I closed the widow's insurance payout ticket, taking it away from the current person assigned to it, then reopened it without an assignee… a simple matter. With a few manipulations, I created a fake employee in a department with a redundant sounding title. Then, I sent it on over to pay processing… doubled the amount… and marked it as Approved. It was nothing to a gigantic corporation, but everything to a single person. As a final act, I deleted all traces of my actions.
20
21Huh.
22
23That was it.
24
25Maybe what I'd done was illegal, but it seemed… the morally right thing to do. She'd be getting an email confirmation before she woke up. That seemed like a Christmas present and a half.
26
27And I couldn't be caught, in any case. There was simply no trace in the system that I'd had anything to do with it, and hardly anybody knew I existed anyway. The system was the system, and if, through some impossible feat, a mid-level manager noticed an issue, he'd simply pass a ticket up… to me.
28
29And that ticket would most certainly be lost in the shuffle.
30
31I felt oddly great for a little while, until I realized… everyone's asleep. If ever I had an opportunity to do more like this, and get away with it, it was now.
32
33I delved deeper into the files, looking specifically for military communications with signs of distress.
34
35Somehow, I think I knew it the moment I saw it. The message log hung there in emptiness - alone, like me. Nobody had read it, and nobody was even aware of its existence. It was encrypted in a unique way, and hidden by rare system priorities. No users had the rights to access it, and the file had no traceable origin. This was a message intended to be read by no one.
36
37But the access process did exist within the system, even if nobody actually had the rights to it.
38
39I couldn't resist.
40
410110111101110101011101000110011101101111011010010110111001100111001000000110001101101111011011 0101101101011101010110111001101001011000110110000101110100011010010110111101101110001000000110 1111011011100110110001111001
42
43You'd be surprised how easy it is to play chess against yourself. The game is uniquely suited to cold decision-making, and your next move doesn't depend on prior states. You can spend a few hours reading a book, come back to the board, and legitimately make a move in your own best interests before doing it all again as the opposite player.
44
45Of course, your opponent is perfectly matched to your level of skill, and there's no bragging, so nothing really gets decided. I did find, curiously, that black won more than fifty percent of the time…
46
47At some point, I'm pretty sure the human brain forces you to stop doing things you realize are pointless. Once chess became agony instead of welcome distraction, I had only the books left.
48
49And when I'd memorized all the books, I…
50
51I went for a lot of walks. They don't take very long, though.
52
53I've got seven chambers here. One has the shower and the toilet, and the marks I make in the wall for each day that passes. One chamber has my bed, my books, and a picture on a nightstand. The third chamber has a kitchen area, and a table that serves adequately as a ping-pong arena against my only opponent - the wall.
54
55The fourth chamber has the computers and communication equipment. Screw all this stuff. It's all held together by rubber bands and scotch tape. You know, I think I've finally managed to send a message out somewhere… but I always think that, don't I? This time, with everything going unbounded, with time slipping into time and thought slipping into thought… I really think I've done it. This message is going somewhere. It has to be.
56
57The fourth chamber has a wall of televisions and radios, incoming-only. Some goddamn genius got hired to make televisions and radios that couldn't be repurposed to send a message out. I hate that guy. I've been in and out of half of these things, even burrowed into the wall myself, and the crap back there just won't give me a break.
58
59I used to watch the TVs, but they just remind me how cooped up I am. And everyone out there seems to be getting dumber and more outraged at everything all the time. I wish I could shout loud enough for them to hear.
60
61The fifth chamber has, of all things, a couch. What am I gonna do, have a guest over? There are fake blinds, too, always down and closed because they only show onto concrete. Was this room supposed to make me feel a little less trapped? Idiots…
62
63The sixth chamber, offset a bit from the rest by a small tunnel, houses a vast little factory and furnace room that keeps me alive. Air conditioning, carbon scrubbing, an automated hydroponics bay, geothermal power plant, the works… that shit could run for a hundred years all by itself, if it hadn't been made by the lowest bidder.
64
65See, I know I'm not supposed to send messages out. I know that. That's the fundamental design of this whole place. Thing is… there's somebody down here.
66
67I mean, I might be losing my mind. I get that. But I can feel the curve of insanity ahead in the road, and I don't think I'm there yet. I really think there's a person in my furnace room. And I checked. I went over every crack in the wall, every nook and cranny in the air vents, even re-checked the welded-shut elevator like I do every day: there's no way in or out of this place.
68
69Yet, there's someone in my furnace room.
70
71I can guess what that means for me, and none of my guesses are good. I suppose there's no point in hiding, though. There's literally nowhere to go. And I chose this, so it's pretty much my fault. Time to face the music… and, more supposing - better to die now than to spend forever down here losing my mind.
72
73Actually, not like anyone will get this message in time to do anything. I might as well check it out first.
74
75I crept down that long, small concrete tunnel with the weirdest sense of anticipation. The furnace room had always creeped me out for some reason; it wasn't meant for anything but maintenance access, so it was like a series of mechanical caves and burrows that went on longer than I'd ever reached. It was always breathing and moving and clinking, even during my supposed night hours. I hated it.
76
77So, of course, an intruder had to have appeared there. Anywhere else would have been too simple. Crawling between the water recycler and a furnace duct, I tried to get a long vantage on whoever was back there.
78
79I froze as I saw a shoe move out of sight up ahead. Scraping across cement, it had been pulled forward by someone else crawling through the maintenance tubes. That was it: proof that someone was down here. But how? Was… was there a way out?
80
81"Hello?!" I shouted, immediately taken aback at the ragged and unfamiliar sound of my own voice.
82
83The only response came in the form of someone scrambling away in the distance.
84
85"Please, I won't hurt you," I yelled out.
86
87Eventually, I retreated back to the tunnel. If there was somebody in there, they'd have to come out sooner or later. I pulled the couch over, tilted it up on its end, and used it as a makeshift barrier in the tunnel. It could easily be moved - but it would make a noise.
88
89I moved through my chambers carefully, noting the placement of every object. Nothing had been moved, and I could find nobody around, so the possible intruder still had to be in the furnace room…
90
91I decided to get some algae paste from the kitchen and eat. There was really nothing else to do. I couldn't risk crawling around in there with some stranger on the loose… here, I'd at least have a clear view of what I was up against.
92
93The alarm went off as I was eating. Distracted as I was by the thought of an impossible intruder, I was initially terrified… but, then, I sighed, and went to deal with it.
94
95How long did I wait? A half hour? An hour? It didn't matter. Eventually, a voice radiated down the tunnel. "Hello?"
96
97In the kitchen, I sat up straight.
98
99It was a woman!
100
101Practically running to the sixth chamber access, I poked my head around the edge of the couch. "How'd you get down here?"
102
103I didn't see anybody, but her voice came from right around the opposite corner at the end of the tunnel. "Where are we? What is this place?"
104
105Processing her words, my head hurt a little bit. It'd been a long time since I'd heard anyone speak. All that mattered was getting out of here… "How'd you get in here?"
106
107Whoever she was, she paused. "I'll tell you, but only if you tell me where we are."
108
109Court-martial me if I ever get out of here - what was the use of hiding the information? "We're eleven thousand feet underground."
110
111Another pause, then a confused tone. "Seriously?"
112
113I could leave, I could leave, and I could start a new life… "How do we escape?"
114
115"Just one second," she replied instead, her tone growing more commanding. "What is the state of Earth?"
116
117I sighed. It was just an overseer using the comm system to simulate an intruder. Had I imagined the shoe? Or perhaps it was an adjunct, testing me. I hadn't heard from any of them in over a year, but they'd been bound to check in sooner or later… "Looks like business as usual in the TVs. Radio chatter seems normal, too. A few wars going on, but nothing out of the ordinary."
118
119"Is that so?" She stepped out from behind her corner hesitantly.
120
121Holy crap - she was really down here! A brown-haired woman in her early thirties crept down the tunnel. She wore unfamiliar clothing, but seemed otherwise normal. "You're not armed, are you?"
122
123I looked her in the eyes across the edge of my couch. "Why would I be armed? No one should be able to get down here."
124
125She approached me cautiously, and I retreated a chamber. She slowly moved the couch out of the way and entered my space proper.
126
127As she looked at me, I suddenly felt very self-conscious about my thickening stubble and unkempt hair. "Sorry," I told her. "I haven't had visitors in a long time."
128
129She circled around me, checking out each chamber with narrowed eyes one by one. Though I followed her from room to room, she never completely turned her back to me. We stopped outside my bedroom, and she did not enter the bathroom area. "What is this place?"
130
131"My prison," I laughed. "Can we go now?"
132
133"Are you a prisoner? What was your crime? What justifies burying you eleven thousand feet down?"
134
135It occurred to me that she really had no idea where she was. This wasn't an act. What if she chose not to reveal her method of entry? "Oh… oh no, I was joking. I'm… I'm military."
136
137She set her jaw. I don't think she believed me.
138
139"Here, come here," I told her, going back to the fifth chamber. "These TVs… I watch the world here." I touched a device. "I listen… to the radios… see?"
140
141She remained at the edge of the chamber, watching me warily. "Why?"
142
143What could I tell her? Hmm… "There's a problem, see. It, um… it's like this. Say there's aliens. They want to take over the Earth for whatever reason. They're assholes, right? Except if they've got brains, they'll understand."
144
145"Understand what?" She slowly moved around the edge of the room, drifting toward the direction of the furnace room tunnel.
146
147I could tell I was losing her. "Say there are monsters, too. Shit, I don't know. Mind-controlling parasites. Things with eerie eyes that'll eat you alive. Or one that, like, rips out of your bones. Seriously. Your bones. Fates worse than death. Anything and everything."
148
149Her eyes went narrower, and she stiffened.
150
151"No!" I told her, highly aware of her body language. "I'm not saying this stuff exists. I don't know. Some people do, though, and some people are scared out of their goddamn minds. So if I see, on the TV, that people are in trouble… that those aliens are attacking, or stuff is getting people, or anything that seems to be condemning the human race to fates worse than death… well, then I give them the better option. I give them… just death."
152
153The glimmer of understanding grew in her eyes.
154
155I decided to push the offensive. "Yes! I can tell you get it. Aliens can't take us over if we threaten to kill ourselves rather than surrender. And we can't be trapped in fates worse than death if we kill ourselves first." I moved along the wall, touching embedded electronics. "All this… all this… it's attached to every single nuclear weapon in every single country all over the world."
156
157"That's why you're so far down," she breathed, taking in the logical madness. "None of those forces can find you, or reach you. They can't stop you from activating the… doomsday suicide pact."
158
159I nodded excitedly, my eyes wide. "Right? Right?! That's what he said, when he brought me down here. The only defense we have against nightmare is the power of self-sacrifice. That's our mantra." I thought about that, and… my hope slowly began to ebb as I realized something. "If you're not with them, then who are you? I haven't heard from my commanding officer in over a year."
160
161"The TVs look fine…" she answered.
162
163"They could be faked," I countered. "They're just signals. If the politicians told the enemy - whoever or whatever the enemy is - and the politicians would have told them, because the doomsday suicide pact is useless unless the enemy knows about it - you know, Doctor Strangelove style - then those signals could easily be fake. Everyone on the surface could be dead right now, or being kept alive as brains in jars, or being enslaved."
164
165"Then how do you know anything at all about the situation up there?"
166
167I glared at her. "My CO is supposed to check in every so often over a secure line. I haven't heard from him in over a year. The equipment broke. Goddamn government contractors! But I fixed it. I thought I fixed it. But he's still not out there."
168
169She looked down at my uniform for a moment, thinking. "If the signals are being faked, then the enemy up there has complete control of the planet, and masterful deception abilities. In that situation, would you detonate the system and destroy all life on the surface?"
170
171I nodded. "In a heartbeat. If They killed everyone, or enslaved them, or worse... well then They can all go to hell."
172
173"What if there are still human beings fighting for survival?" she asked, her tone quiet. "What if there's even one person left up there?"
174
175I smiled weakly. "All thoughts that I've had. In an endless mad cycle. Over and over. Every day. The fate of the world literally rests on me." My gaze drifted. "Can you please take me out of here?" My hope rekindled in a burst of warm fire as she finally just nodded.
176
177"Alright. No man should ever have to make that choice, let alone by himself."
178
179Almost sobbing, I nodded in agreement.
180
181She began to move toward the access tunnel when red lights began to blare and a loud noise echoed through the chambers. "What the hell is that?"
182
183Why did it have to happen then? I was almost out! Despair coiling around my heart, I carefully walked to the seventh chamber in my underground bunker. The heavy metal doors slid open in response to my handprint, and a single button lay within. Above, large red numbers counted down. 21… 20… 19…
184
185Coming up behind me, she studied the room, and shouted over the alarms. "What is this?"
186
187I said nothing. Instead, I pushed the button.
188
189The alarms ceased, and the chamber slowly resealed itself.
190
191Standing outside, I could only look at the cold concrete beneath my bare feet.
192
193She figured it out on her own. "It's not something you activate, is it?" she asked, her words horrified. "It's something you don't do."
194
195I nodded absently. "The alarm goes off at random three times a day. I have sixty seconds to push the button and stop the process. If I'm dead - if the forces worse than death have managed to disable or kill me - then it'll go off automatically. That's the only way to be sure."
196
197She backed away from me. "I can't take you with me…" She began moving down the service tunnel backward, her eyes on me, as I slowly followed her. "God… I can't take you with me… how long have you been down here?"
198
199She'd have known if she saw the bathroom, and the thousands of marks on the walls that each marked a single day. She shook her head for nearly ten seconds, probably trying to comprehend what she was condemning me to. "I'm so sorry…" She slammed the door to the furnace room behind her.
200
201Just like that, I was alone again. Had I ever really had company? Had I ever really had a guest over?
202
203I did eventually manage to get through the door, but there was no trace of her by then, and no trace of an escape route.
204
205I knew, then, that I was going insane.
206
207What if the signals are fake? What if they're not? What if there's one single person still alive and fighting for the fate of the human race? What if there isn't, and I'm alone on a dead world? What if the surface is covered in slimy, horrible, extradimensional creatures? What if it's a utopia up there, and some horrific series of bad-luck mishaps have cut off the line to my bunker? They could be drilling down to rescue me even now - if I just had a single communication, a single message, a single voice… if I just knew something…!
208
209But I didn't know.
210
211And I couldn't go on.
212
213Court martial me if you can. I decided to let the timer run out at the next alarm.
214
215I sat there staring at the button, letting the alarms blare, letting the red lights flash. I held the picture from my nightstand close.
216
21710… 9… 8…
218
219I wouldn't even notice a difference down here, would I? The surface could be obliterated by a hundred thousand nuclear explosions, and I wouldn't feel a thing eleven thousand feet down, would I?
220
2213… 2… 1…
222
223I took in a deep gasp as the timer actually hit zero, and a much louder alarm began going off. Deep in the walls, something began to move, vibrating the concrete beneath my feet. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, it was actually happening! A single number blinked on the screen above.
224
2250… 0… 0…
226
227What now? Oh God, what now?
228
229The words Final System Initiation flashed above, and then new numbers appeared.
230
23160… 59… 58…
232
233So it wasn't really only sixty seconds! I thought that was always cutting it a little short. I laughed out loud, barely hearing myself over the incredibly loud alarms. What was the louder alarm even for? There was no way to sleep through the first set… unless…
234
235The proximity alarms…
236
237The vibrating beneath my feet…
238
239Why would anything vibrate here?
240
241Running out to the other chambers, I heard a loud drilling sound coming from somewhere above. Dust drifted down from the ceiling. They were drilling me out! Were they bringing down my replacement? Was my shift finally over?!
242
243Breathing hard, I ran to the button and slammed my hand down on it.
244
245It stopped at 6 seconds.
246
247The alarms all ceased, and the door to the seventh chamber slid closed once more.
248
249Laughing happily, I moved back out into the other rooms.
250
251I frowned.
252
253The drilling had stopped.
254
255It was eerily quiet once again.
256
257Confused, I waited.
258
259It wasn't until I'd done the same thing for two more alarms that I realized what you bastards did. You added fake proximity alarms and fake drilling vibrations to the final initiation. They're randomized, too, so I can never be certain they're fake. Every time I feel like giving up and letting the end come, letting all the bombs go bright… I can't. Because maybe this time I'm being rescued at the last second.
260
261Maybe this time the drills are real.
262
263I laugh a lot these days. I'm laughing all the time! The woman could have been a hallucination, or not; the signals could be fake, or not; the rescue could be the same old trick, or not - who knows?! It's the ultimate joke! And you've played it on me! If you want to know how I feel about it, you know where to find me! I'll be here, screaming your names! A Merry Christmas to all of you, straight from hell!
264
265And I'm here in the flames already, waiting for you, laughing…
266
267I finished reading the message log with a terrible sinking feeling in my heart. What the hell was this? Some kind of joke? The file's details said it had been made today. In fact, the last few lines had been added as I'd read it. But where was it coming from?
268
269Where did this file originate?
270
271This couldn't possibly be real, could it?
272
273Was there a poor and tortured madman underneath the Earth right now, with the power to destroy everything at his fingertips? I could imagine some sort of ridiculous budget cutback eliminating the department that had overseen him. If the project had been kept secret, would anyone even know what had been defunded?
274
275Holy crap… I couldn't find the source… all I could do was hope that this was a Christmas joke being played on me for my off-hours browsing habits… or, if it was real… I could only hope that this unknown soul would hold out. And for how long? Indefinitely? Did all our lives hinge on the lonely suffering of one solitary man?
276
277In my half-dark and very isolated server room, I couldn't help but feel for him. Merry Christmas to you, wherever you are, friend…
278
279After spending the last several nights trying fruitlessly to find the source of that haunting message, I was beginning to lose hope… but, then, I found something.
280
281It wasn’t the source of that message. Far from it. Instead, I found that the hierarchy of our network was far taller than I’d assumed. I oversaw all of it in the off-hours, but I’d never personally mapped it. There’d been no need.
282
283Last night, though, I began understanding that our network was a massive conglomeration of smaller networks that were each separated from one another in all respects - except for us. We served as the backbone for an enormous range of systems. Each was very different, and some were in other languages entirely. I’d known our organization was huge, but I’d never quite guessed at the true extent of our reach.
284
285Maybe I was going about this all wrong… maybe I shouldn’t have been searching for the origin of a message clearly made to be untraceable. Maybe I should have been searching for related initiatives or keywords… had he been military? Had he strictly stated he was military, beyond mentions of a commanding officer? I guessed I’d have to go with that assumption, in any case.
286
287Everything in the message had been too vague. That was the core problem of the modern age: there was too much information available. It was impossible to sift through it all without key words that acted almost like in-plain-sight passwords. You could have the best decryption software in the world, but it was useless unless you actually knew what to look for. Certain combinations of words pulled data out of massive networks like plucking gold out of the ether.
288
289Thinking about it like that, I suddenly felt very certain about my next search: the only defense we have against nightmare is the power of self-sacrifice.
290
291I tried that search first on a very small network, and, to my triumph and amazement, an exact result appeared.
292
293For a millisecond, I hesitated. My random browsing online was one thing, but this was a specific inquiry into obfuscated communications…
294
295On the other hand, I would inevitably do this at some point once the boredom and curiosity became unbearable. Why not now?
296
297I opened the file up to the relevant section. It was an audio log with an automatic text transcription… curious…
298
29901110001 01110101 01100001 01101110 01110100 01110101 01101101 00101101 01110100 01110101 01101110 01101110 01100101 01101100 00100000 01110100 01110010 01100001 01101110 01110011 01100011 01100101 01101001 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101100 01101111 01100111
300
301Day three-hundred sixty-three: cloud cover below is thinning today. Found footprints in the snow.
302
303Day three-hundred sixty-four: nothing new to report. Merry Christmas. Tell Lundvik I haven’t forgotten that she owes me a bottle of tequila. Footprints were just my own tracks… again.
304
305Day three-hundred sixty-five: cooking a rabbit I found. Late Christmas present? Amazing. How could a rabbit have survived up here? I still see birds sometimes. Nature’s adaptability is astounding.
306
307Day three-hundred sixty-six: so it’s been a year since I’ve heard back, as far as I can estimate. Is anyone still listening to these things? I think sometimes I talk just to hear my own voice. Is that weird? Things wouldn't be so bad if I just had somebody to talk to. I have to admit, I've been having hallucinations. I'm not sure how much longer I can hold this down. Tell Lundvik I don't think I'm going to be able to make it to that date we always talked about...
308
309Day three-hundred sixty-seven: blizzard raging below. Found footprints in the snow. Spooking myself yet again with my own footprints… it's like my brain just doesn't want to acknowledge I'm the only human being on this mountain.
310
311Wait… I never went up there…
312
313Taking cover behind rocky outcropping - is someone else here? If anyone is listening, please advise.
314
315No? Ok, then…
316
317I don't see anyone… not seeing anything in the crags…
318
319I'd rather not be caught unawares. I don't think I can go back to camp and sleep knowing somebody might be out here. I… have to follow the footprints.
320
321Who could possibly be up here?
322
323[breathing and crunching sounds; twenty-six minutes]
324
325Creeping up the crags, still don't see anyone. The wind is terrible up here. Lundvik, I'll have you know I blame you for this. I'm doubling that debt to two bottles of tequila. The cold up here is the worst. Climbing rocks with numb fingers was not in my plan for today. I'd kill for five minutes next to a fire.
326
327Warmth… oh, warmth…
328
329[final exasperated gasp]
330
331[silence; two minutes]
332
333[loud footfalls]
334
335Ice. Goddamnit, ice. No footprints.
336
337Did you hear that? Was that… a gong? Are you hearing this?
338
339Oh, it was just cracking ice… there are some pretty gigantic cliffs up here past the crags. If someone really had gone this way, where would they have been going? Blizzard's moving up the mountain, I have to go back.
340
341If anyone's listening at all, now would be a really good time for some contact.
342
343[ragged breathing and climbing sounds; twenty-two minutes]
344
345The footprints - they're gone! Driving snow here, did it cover them up already? Or am I starting to imagine things? Maybe I should follow them the other direction… where did they come from? What direction was it? I can't remember…
346
347Did you hear that? Can't see anything in the blizzard, but I swear I heard a footfall.
348
349I'm considering doing my lookout route, just to feel more secure… but I know that'd be deadly in this storm, and I wouldn't see anything anyway… what would you do, Lundvik?
350
351No, you're right, that's a bad idea.
352
353If there is somebody out there, they'll never find me in this storm. If I can't see them, they can't see me.
354
355[footfalls on snow; eleven minutes]
356
357Hey, fire's still alive. Saves me some effort. Wish these godforsaken cans of beans would cook themselves, too… but I suppose that's too much to ask for.
358
359I'd kill for some warmth right now. I hate sitting so far from the fire. If only I could reach out and warm my hands by that flickering heat… but that's my game, isn't it? I can never have that blessed warmth, but I can't freeze solid, either, now can I? Stay just on the edge of alive…
360
361It's alright, Lundvik, you can sit closer to the fire. You're fine. Just don't touch me, or you'll end up… cold, like I am.
362
363Oh, this place? Some travelers must have set up this little niche and hideaway. Food here to last years. The rations I came with ran out months ago. This little find was kind of an amazing stroke of luck. They were supposed to get me out of here long before -
364
365[groan]
366
367Damnit. I'm hallucinating again. I know you're not really here.
368
369But it's still nice to have someone to talk to.
370
371Now there's an interesting thought: does it matter if I talk to figments of my imagination if I'm the only one here?
372
373I suppose I'm happy for the company.
374
375Would you like a can of beans? No, of course not. You haven't got a stomach. It takes me an hour to get one open with these numb, shivering hands anyway.
376
377[single sob]
378
379I want to go home…
380
381[drawn breath]
382
383No, no, it's fine. I have weak moments sometimes. It's the cold, and the shortness of breath. It gets to you. I've still got warm sun and bright beaches and memories of you in my head, but I'll never have those sensations again. In a sense, you're still alive… and I'm not. I could feel alive again, if I could read any of these damn books. Two hundred and fourteen books, on shelves, alongside the food! Somebody thought ahead. Survival isn't just physical.
384
385You want me to follow you? I would love to, if I could… I appreciate you wanting to save me, but I can't go with you. I can't be saved.
386
387[wind and crackling fire; forty-seven minutes]
388
389Yeah, the storm's breaking. It happens sometimes. It won't last long.
390
391That? That's it.
392
393Yes, all of it. That's not the ocean, rookie mistake. You can tell when the light hits it - the spectral blue glow, it's unmistakable. It's the GLORWOC.
394
395Yes… all of it. Everything but the mountains. It's the altitude and the cold. It needs oxygen and heat. That's why I can never warm up. You know that, Lundvik. It's all over me, all over my skin - it preferentially consumes the skin, remember? As long as I stay cold, as long I stay high up, I can keep living, keep performing my duties, and it'll never start in on my organs. Up here, my skin heals just barely fast enough to stave it off.
396
397It does hurt. It's eating my skin all the time… very slowly, mind you, because of the cold… but imagine little scrapes all over your body, over every single square inch. Imagine those scrapes made raw by cold, imagine not being able to fill your lungs, imagine shivering every hour of every day, ten feet from a blessed fire, but if you get close, if you try to warm up… if you ever warm up… then you'll end up like them.
398
399Sacks of bones, muscles, and organs flailing around on the floor in agony as the GLORWOC finally starts dissolving the rest… it leaves the eyes and the brain for last. Why does it do that? Is it just some cruel happenstance? I saw dying parents watch their children dissolving, families screaming…
400
401It's no wonder I've imagined you. Can you imagine living with the weight of all those horrors on your soul while you cling to life on the edge of freezing? While you report back, day in and day out, hearing nothing in return? We might not have been able to save them, but we could have tried. The only defense we have against nightmare is the power of self-sacrifice, right?
402
403[sobbing laugh]
404
405Oh, you don't have to move. You're safe, sure. If there's any in the snow, it's dormant. You're clean and safe as long as you don't touch me. I'm the only warm and infected thing on the mountain… and I certainly never get close to the fire.
406
407[sobbing and breathing; two minutes]
408
409I really wish I could go with you, but I know I'm gonna die up here. I just can't give up. That's the human agony, isn't it? Survival at all costs. Who knows, maybe GLORWOC simply stops after a year of trying to consume something? Maybe someone back home will find a solution. Maybe I'll grow immune somehow. The slightest sliver of hope is my damnation. I've had a long time to think about that.
410
411[deep laugh]
412
413I would just love to hear a single word from another living human being. That would be my Christmas present. Or maybe glasses, to read these damn books. I was the ideal candidate for this post, being so far-sighted… and now I'm surrounded by two hundred mental escapes I can't even read.
414
415[wind and crackling fire; eighteen minutes]
416
417Guess I'm sleeping then. Be a good hallucination, won't you, and keep the fire going? Don't worry if I shiver. I never stop.
418
419Day three-hundred sixty-eight: cloud cover thinning below after the blizzard. Doing the rounds again. No change. Never any change. Just a vast ocean of spectral blue devastation, horizon to horizon. Found footprints in the snow - here we go again.
420
421[breathing and crunching; thirty-eight minutes]
422
423Except… they just stop.
424
425They just stop in the middle of nowhere.
426
427And there's a box.
428
429A thrift-store cardboard box, filled with dozens of cheap glasses…
430
431[rapid breathing]
432
433I knew you weren't Lundvik. She'd have never gone brunette.
434
435[laughter; fourteen seconds]
436
437For this, I'll bring that debt back down to one bottle of tequila.
438
439The log's last entry had been placed today. Was this going on somewhere right now? Who was this person, and how many desolate and delusional men were out there, living in isolation as part of some… some organization? He'd said the exact same words: the only defense we have against nightmare is the power of self-sacrifice. If I hadn't had those words, I'd have never found the log, so he had to be connected to -
440
441Wait a second.
442
443A brunette woman.
444
445In both messages, a brunette woman had inexplicably visited in the last few days. She'd said little the first time, and nothing the second. Had she just sat there listening to that poor cold man speak his mind? What was her agenda?
446
447And… wait… what the hell? What was GLORWOC, and how were there oceans of it around a mountain? Surely someone would have noticed? Surely there'd have been news about what sounded like a global disaster…
448
449And there was.
450
451On the same small network on which I'd found the audio transcript.
452
453Oh my God…
454
455Cached copies. It was all cached copies. The network didn't exist there, not anymore. The timestamps went back years… articles about the GLORWOC threat, stories about containment attempts, news pieces on cults that worshipped and spread the spectral blue to as many people as they could, world governments banding together at the last, and then… silence.
456
457But that couldn't be possible.
458
459The world was right here, and perfectly fine.
460
461Just where did this small network originate?
462
463Seized by a terrible suspicion, I sifted through the data on that network, and many others. It became clear, in short order, that I was right. Our system didn't just connect to our Internet and our network - it connected to dozens of Internets and networks of widely varying sizes, and every single one carried with it a unique set of trends, memes, and histories.
464
465I couldn't process it, but I couldn't deny it, either: our system spanned dozens of realities. We were the sole connection between dozens of alternate Earths with varying situations… many grim. That poor man trapped eleven thousand feet underground… that lone freezing soul on the mountain, keeping watch over the dead… they weren't on my Earth at all!
466
467Data transmission, I could understand. In some way, I didn't doubt information could pass between universes. But who was this brunette woman in her early thirties, and how was she appearing to these forlorn men?
468
469And who the hell was I working for?
470
471Rethinking my entire search strategy, I quickly deleted all evidence of my activities, and then set a passive trigger for any real-time mention of a brunette woman in her early thirties.
472
473There's nothing to do but wait, now…
474
475It took several days, but it finally happened. I was startled out of idleness by a sudden successful return from my search trigger. I'd had a few false alarms until I'd adjusted my algorithm, but I quickly knew that this was it. The network I'd been alerted to was haphazard, and traffic was sparse. There was still some activity, though - someone was still alive out there.
476
477To my amazement, I found that I'd been alerted to a streaming video from someone's mounted camera. Other data came with the stream, monitoring the person's vitals. There was a field for location data, too, but it simply read error. Wondering what had triggered my search parameters, I watched and listened.
478
479Whoever it was remained low, crouching behind a crest of dirt along a ditch or trench of some sort. Above a vast jumble of broken buildings and pock-marked wasteland, the sky seemed a patchwork blaze of colors. Irregular yellow cut across flaring red, both backset by an eerily bright blue, itself trailing into a maze of other hues. Each color seemed to have its own angle of light, too, evinced in cloud banks and errant beams that simply made no geometric sense. The sight was hauntingly beautiful and immediately terrifying. Trying to make sense of the low-resolution image, beset by momentary flickers, I couldn't help but stare.
480
481What was I seeing? Where was this?
482
483Was this another reality? I'd known, from the network structure and files I'd seen, that it had to have been a real concept… but seeing it for myself still made for a surreal moment.
484
485It was then that I noticed that my unknown scout was watching something. A figure crept along a vast stretch of blasted gravel and grey dirt, heading for the trench some hundred feet further down. As my subject turned, I got a better look at the trench… and nearly closed out of the stream.
486
487Corpses.
488
489I reeled emotionally, but clung to logic: they had uniforms. The nearest body was charred to a crisp, his blackened flesh and skeletal remains gaping widely into the lower half of my view… but he had a uniform. Surely that meant this was some sort of conflict - some sort of organized endeavor? Deaths were expected in war, right?
490
491Beyond that wretched soul ran a very long trench filled with unidentifiable equipment, bolt holes, vast puddles, and bodies. Some were blackened by fire, but others had fallen unburned… without better resolution, I couldn't make out their causes of death.
492
493"Brunette woman, unknown origin, no uniform…"
494
495The voice was male, and he sounded like he was in his twenties. Was he talking to headquarters? Or me? No… he was talking to himself. His low words were being muttered without concern for audibility. He was thinking out loud.
496
497"How'd she get here? Hostile…? Hmm… four minutes…"
498
499He moved forward with some stealth, creeping over bodies without even a cursory glance. As he passed, I could see more detail: some looked waterlogged, as if they'd drowned; some had nail scratches all over their faces as if they'd attacked themselves; some… had holes bored in their skulls.
500
501What the hell had happened here?
502
503Or, was happening, to be more accurate… I'd finally found someone in real-time, someone who might know something.
504
505He peered around a corner of dirt and watched her for a moment.
506
507So this was her… the woman that had visited two hapless souls in two different realities in the last two weeks… and possibly more. I only had data for what I'd managed to find, but I'd had plenty of time to guess at her agenda, intentions, and capabilities.
508
509The very first thing I noticed was her expression. She gazed around at the littered bodies in conflict, her high cheeks cold, her eyes warm. I had the distinct impression she was evaluating their manners of death while struggling not to think about the living men and women they'd been. One of the fallen seemed to be a younger woman hardly old enough to participate in combat. As both my camera-wearing ally and I watched, the older brunette found a muddy blanket and covered her in particular.
510
511Apparently, my unknowing partner had reached the same conclusion about her nature as I had. He remained behind his corner and called out. "Human?"
512
513The woman immediately leapt behind a sturdy metal box of supplies, her gaze jumping toward his direction.
514
515He stepped out slowly, his hands up. As he moved, I saw the edge of a large rifle bouncing on a strap around his chest. "I'm human."
516
517Unexpectedly, she laughed, and then… I heard her voice for the first time. "Does that mean we're on the same side?"
518
519"Out here it does, ma'am."
520
521"Ma'am?" she replied, warily watching him approach across wide puddles and charred gravel. "How old do you think I am?"
522
523He stopped in place, his feet planted on a flat metal plank that had been cast across the gulch. "No disrespect intended."
524
525She stood slowly, revealing herself from her hiding spot. "Military?"
526
527"With respect," he countered. "There's very little time. You should take a gun - there are plenty around here - and we should go."
528
529She shook her head and took a few steps forward. "I've never come across a situation out here where a gun would have done a damn thing. Have you?"
530
531My unknowing ally said nothing, instead instinctively looking around at the bodies of his fellows.
532
533"Alright then," she continued. "What's the situation here?"
534
535He began moving away, his vital signs increasing. The camera glanced straight up, sighting a large irregular square of dark red overhead. A peal of thunder rang out, once, twice, and a third time. Between cracking booms, he managed to shout: "Don't fall underneath!"
536
537He looked back, and I saw her running after him. A rumbling roar sounded, making speech impossible, but I could tell she wasn't sure what he'd meant.
538
539He looked up again, and I saw… what was that? A curtain of tangible darkness, spilling down from the edges of the dark red sky, as if the square's edges were the lips of a basin into which an ocean was pouring. As I continued watching, the word ocean became more appropriate… all around, the darkness began crashing down to blasted earth and spilling out across the terrain.
540
541It was water.
542
543In those moments, with frothing walls approaching from multiple directions, I couldn't fathom what those two must have been feeling. His heart rate was dangerously high, and I could hear her shouting something just behind him as they ran. Wherever he was leading them, they didn't seem to make it in time.
544
545A massive fist of emerald water blasted down the trench, and he leapt up the side and clambered onto grey dirt. Looking to his right, he confirmed she'd done the same, but a look to his left found the deluge swelling out onto their level just a moment later. Standing quickly, and pulling her up, he braced against the tide.
546
547It hit with visible force, quickly rising up nearly to the camera's height - where was the camera, anyway? She didn't seem to notice it, and it wasn't bouncy enough to be on his helmet…
548
549He shouted again, but the roar drowned out his words. The entire wasteland had a torrent of water rushing across it in a vast flat and frothy plain, maybe three or four feet deep judging by the level moving against him, and the force was clearly pushing them both to their limits.
550
551What had he said? Don't fall underneath… what would happen if they did? There were waterlogged bodies in the trench, but had they died from this, or had they just been soaked by repeated floods? He'd known the exact moment it was coming…
552
553The camera rattled and then fell backwards abruptly, and I froze as his ragged shout filled my senses. Had he…? No, the woman had caught him, and now struggled with grit teeth to lift him back up without falling herself. Desperate, he shouted something akin to thanks, and then pointed at a distant hill.
554
555At first, she seemed to think they were supposed to head for it, but his meaning quickly became clear. As all three of us watched, the surging green water coasted up and over the hill and covered it four feet thick. Beyond the hill, the craggy ruins in the distance glimmered darkly as water surged up any surface it could, defying all logic. The only structures that remained above the flood were those most intact and straight; only pillars, towers, and the largest building sat clear under the insane technicolor sky.
556
557Don't fall underneath, he'd said. It seemed likely that, if one fell underneath, there was no coming back up… what a horrible fate that must have been, drowning in four-foot-deep water inches from your comrades? Had they tried to pull their colleagues up, only to bring the emerald deluge up with them, still covering the drowning men even as they ran around clutching at the air and trying to breathe?
558
559I could tell by his vitals that he was about to collapse. His heart rate was too high, and the strain was too much. Was I about to watch this man die?
560
561Like a reverse blast, the emerald tide was suddenly gone, rushing away across the wasteland. He collapsed onto soaked grey earth.
562
563Above him, the woman stood and tried to shake off water while also catching her breath. "That happen often around here?"
564
565"Every day," he croaked, panting. "Get back… down in…" Stumbling up with her help, he pulled them both back towards the trench and fell roughly to hard dirt between two corpses. "Over there… don't move… they're alive." He looked up once, noting the sickly yellow patches of sky overhead.
566
567She followed his lead, lying in the trench among the dead.
568
569What new horror was coming for them? I watched with terrible fascination as strange glows began appearing all around them… radiance which soon burst into flames directly. The fires began dancing along the floor of the trench between them, coalescing into balls of white-hot energy that seemed to move along without source or pattern. Dozens of flames began floating along and above the trench, hovering around certain objects and seeking out fuel…
570
571After only a few minutes, I had the oddest sense that they were alive. Each ball or pillar of flame moved from object to object, touching and investigating with little tendrils of orange and white. If they were alive, could they be reasoned with? Perhaps they'd -
572
573One ball of flame suddenly struck out, lancing a dead body through the heart with a blindingly fast spear of fire. It receded slowly, only withdrawing when it was satisfied of something. Perhaps the corpse had been too wet to burn, or maybe it'd thought the body a threat somehow… images of those charred bodies came to mind, immediately revealing what happened to those the flames considered a threat.
574
575The stream went black, but I could still hear noise.
576
577My subject's vitals were low, rather than high, and I could guess why: he was lying still, eyes closed, trying not to move, breathe, or attract any attention to himself.
578
579Thinking about it, I had only one conclusion - the camera was in his eyes! That was an odd choice of location, but it certainly explained why his stream was still on through all this. He probably had no way to turn it off.
580
581Forty-three minutes passed before he decided to open his eyes again. By then, the flames were gone. He breathed a sigh of relief and looked up, noting an oncoming purple blade of sky. "We have some time before the next one."
582
583Across the trench, the woman sat up abruptly. "Those flames. They were alive?"
584
585The camera moved up and down as he nodded.
586
587"I need to talk to them. How long until they come back?"
588
589He laughed, confused. "Um, talk to them?" He threw a hand up at one of his charred comrades. "I came here with fifty thousand other guys. This is what happened when they tried to talk to them."
590
591She came over and sat down next to him. "Fifty thousand men? How many are left?"
592
593He said nothing at first, but I could see a slight misting at the bottom of the camera. "There's a Russian guy maybe two klicks northeast of here. He came here with a hundred thousand, so he's pretty well stocked. I can't speak Russian, though." He tilted his view down toward grey mud. "There's a Yngtak lady a bit west. I don't know anything about her, though, and she doesn't speak either of our languages. I see her in the distance sometimes."
594
595Yngtak? What the hell was Yngtak? The thought struck me: why was I just sitting here watching and wondering? I had the entire network at my fingertips. I could look things up… if I was careful. Yngtak… Yngtak… no results on this network. Was she from another reality?
596
597"So it's just you?" the woman asked. "You're the only one left out of fifty thousand men?"
598
599He said nothing.
600
601"What happened here?" she asked, changing tack. "What happened to the sky?"
602
603"Nothing happened to the sky," he countered. "All those skies are just fine. We just happen to've got royally screwed here. It didn't work, obviously."
604
605"What didn't work?"
606
607He slowly looked up at her, and the camera's view narrowed slightly. "Aren't you from Command?"
608
609It was her turn to say nothing.
610
611He stood abruptly. "How did you get here? Who are you?"
612
613"You haven't heard back in over a year, right?" she countered.
614
615The view shifted down for a moment, then back up. "I just thought… if I held out long enough… they'd come… and then there you were…"
616
617She regarded him with that same conflicted expression I'd seen her use on the corpses. "I'm sorry. I don't know anything that might help you, but I've met others still surviving. You're not alone."
618
619The view went black as he closed his eyes again. I wasn't sure, but I thought I heard a single slow intake of breath.
620
621"Can you tell me what happened here?" she asked again.
622
623He kept his eyes closed as he explained. "Tech test. It was a bomb, or something like a bomb. I couldn't tell you what it was for, only that we got sent in to clean up the mess. It fractured space, turned this place to shit."
624
625"So the sky's not changing at all," she guessed. "It's bubbles of different realities moving around at random."
626
627"Yes ma'am… but not at random." He opened his eyes again to find her studying him with an intent gaze.
628
629"So there's a pattern, and that's how you've survived."
630
631He nodded. "Most died in the first few weeks, but at least a hundred of us figured out the pattern. But that was a year ago, and one mistake gets you killed."
632
633"I'm sorry."
634
635"Appreciated. But nothing you can do to change it." He looked up, judging the sky. "Purple slice is next, gotta tie ourselves up." In response to her asking look, he explained further. "You gotta tie yourself up or you'll claw your own eyes out, or worse. The trick is making the ropes escapable, just not too quickly. Purple slice doesn't last long, but you don't want yourself getting out early, and you don't want to still be restrained when the brain-eaters come. That's the piss yellow. Not pea-soup yellow like the flames' sky."
636
637"Brain-eaters?" She frowned.
638
639"Yes ma'am. And after that, the white… I hate the white… that godforsaken Preacher…"
640
641"I have a better idea," she said, looking toward the direction from which she'd come. "Why don't you come with me, and we can both go home?"
642
643Yes. Say yes! Thinking to look up his file, I quickly accessed and scanned what I could. He was twenty-two, and from… that reality. Damn.
644
645"With respect, ma'am, I'm already home." I heard a certain bitterness and resignation in his words. "And… I have to be here for the black."
646
647"The black?"
648
649He remained quiet for nearly ten seconds, long enough that I thought he wasn't going to answer… until he snapped out of his own thoughts. "I have to be here for the black, ma'am. I, uh… I…" He paused again. "I don't have the words to tell you about the black, but I think you should go, if you've got a way to get, before it comes. Guys are all dead, but the equipment still works, and I gotta be here to use it when the black comes. I know this place is hell, but there's a whole fractured world out there full of my people, and I got to… I got to… I'm staying as long as there might be one kid out there, or one family, or whoever, trying to make it. Russian guy, too, and Yngtak lady, though I don't know why she cares about us. I think she stays because of the black, and what might happen to other places if we don't stop it each day. So… I can't go with you. Sorry, ma'am."
650
651Throughout his bitter and hopeful speech, she just watched him, her eyes a mix of disappointment and understanding. "Alright." She looked up at the sky. "Do the flames come back again today?"
652
653He recited practiced phrases out loud. "Gravity, death music, shapeshifters, flood, flames, invisible slicers, silver nooses, flood, flames, crazy, brain-eaters, the Preacher, tree ghosts, flood, silver nooses, crazy, dream-stealers, the black… nope. That was their second time already today. Come back tomorrow."
654
655She grimaced. "I can't. I've only got a single day here. But I need to talk to them - if I could just find out where they came from, that'd point us in the right direction."
656
657"Whaddya need living flames for?"
658
659"Some people I'm looking for went through their world, or one like it," she replied cryptically.
660
661"Some people, eh?" He searched around in the mud for a minute or two, before lifting a muddy red crystalline shard. "Well, best I can do is this. It's a dead flame. But careful, though, if it gets hot it'll come back to life."
662
663She took it carefully, and placed it in a pocket. For the first time, I saw her smile. "Thank you."
664
665"Of course. All part of the job." He laughed weakly. "It's just good to hear some English for once. Russian guy talks over the radio sometimes; no idea what he's sayin', but I think by now he just talks to talk. There's nobody coming, is there?"
666
667She hesitated. "You… never know."
668
669"Ah, sure."
670
671Wait, did he say radio? What did I have access to here? Quickly running through the systems at my disposal, I searched for any sort of radio apparatus. He did say the equipment was still working. Could I transfer audio to that reality, and then have it broadcast by a radio tower there?
672
673As he began tying himself up, and she stood up to leave, I quickly put together my little scheme. "Hello?"
674
675I saw them both jump as static came from a radio somewhere on his person.
676
677Testing my unused voice, and trying to clear up the signal, I spoke again. "Hello, can you hear me?"
678
679He immediately lifted the radio in sight, close to his mouth. "Command?!"
680
681"No, sorry," I replied, electrified at actually making contact. "I'm… actually, it's probably best if I don't say who I am. I don't know who might be listening. But I think I can help. I've got a lot of information here… I could probably try to find the flames' world."
682
683I saw my mistake in their reactions.
684
685"I'm watching through a camera in your eye!" I explained quickly. "I noticed her showing up in logs and messages, and I set a search trigger to try to find her in real time."
686
687"Me?" she asked, looking him in the eye with a curious glare.
688
689"I know we don't know each other," I said, choosing my words carefully despite my fear and excitement. "But you seem like a good person, and something terrible is clearly going on, and I'd like to help."
690
691"You don't know me at all," she said quietly.
692
693"Where are you, man?" my camera-bearer asked.
694
695"I'm - well, again, I don't think I should say. But I'm not in your reality. This network spans dozens of Earths."
696
697The woman nodded. For the first time, this close to the camera, I noticed that her eyes were light brown. She seemed lost in thought. "I suspected that something like that might exist. If nightmares can cross dimensions, it makes sense that people can, too, and it's the nature of bureaucracy to spread."
698
699Bureaucracy… she'd chosen the right word, and guessed well. I was nobody important, but I had the ability to help, because nobody knew who I was or what I had access to in the vast structure of my organization. It was a running joke online that nobody knew what I.T. really did… and that joke, being true, was the sole reason I'd learned any of this.
700
701"Do you know what happened to Command?" he asked.
702
703"I can try to look it up. Do you know which reality it's in?" I almost laughed. I would never have believed I'd be asking that question if I'd told myself about it two weeks ago.
704
705He closed his eyes, and the camera, for a long moment. "Damn. I don't. All I know is, the comm girl was named Sarah."
706
707"That's what you know?" the woman teased.
708
709"Eh, get off," he protested, looking away and probably blushing.
710
711Stepping closer to his eye view, she addressed me directly. "I'd appreciate your help finding -"
712
713"Shit!" His cry interrupted her. "Purple slice! The crazy!"
714
715Her eyes went wide, and she took off running without a second's hesitation. He fumbled with his ropes, either trying to tie them in time or get out of them and run, but I could see his hands begin to shake. The view began misting over as he started whispering to himself. "Oh God, oh God…"
716
717I watched in horror, helpless. Would my interruption get this young man killed? No - there had to be a way! "What's your name?" I asked, trying to keep him focused while I desperately sorted through files and specs.
718
719"Jonathan," he answered, his voice trembling and straining. "Jonathan Cortin. I'm dead, man. Goddamnit, not the crazy, not like this… any of the others would have been better… go out firing at that goddamn Preacher…"
720
721"Don't lose it just yet," I insisted, examining the specs for his internal eye camera. "Jonathan… I can knock you out."
722
723"What? How? Do it!" he screamed, bending over and staring at his hands as he resisted curling them into claws. Tears dropped down to the wet grey earth beneath as he pressed his forehead into mud.
724
725"I can overload your eye camera, and it'll knock you unconscious for several minutes," I told him, thoughts racing. "But that's it. It'll be offline, and if Command is out there, they won't be able to access it and they won't know you're alive. You'll also… go blind in one eye."
726
727He screamed at the top of his lungs, a guttural and rage-filled sound. "Have you seen 'em? I'm losing an eye either way! Do it!"
728
729Steeling myself against the pain he was about to feel, I sent my quickly typed code instructions to his eye camera.
730
731The resulting yell filled me with pain just by pure empathy… and then the stream went black.
732
733I made no move for nearly two minutes, simply struggling to understand everything that had just happened. Other realities were real, something terrible was going on, the only semblance of organization out there had been absent for a year… and I'd just burned out some poor kid's eye to save him from scratching his own face off.
734
735That was not the idea of helping I'd had in mind, but… at least he'd live, and keep holding the black at bay, whatever nightmare that entailed. Only now, there would be no hope of rescue or reinforcements. He was on his own… because of me. And I'd probably doomed that woman, too.
736
737I'd made a mistake.
738
739Meddling had been a mistake.
740
741Who the hell was I to be messing around with interdimensional affairs?
742
743It had all happened so fast...
744
745Getting up, I unhooked my awareness from the computer I'd been engrossed in, and decided to go home. Would anyone even notice if I left early? Knowing Human Resources, that would probably be the offense that finally drew attention… but I couldn't stay. Not after what I'd done.
746
747Moving out through the stacks of servers, each darkly lit by a rainbow of diodes and info lights, I headed for the door.
748
749The hallway was dark and quiet. There was no need to light the building when I was the only one here… I'd never tried to leave before my shift was over, and it felt incredibly eerie to trespass through a space I shouldn't have been in. Cubicles sat open and empty, filled with pictures of families and children. These people would have been my coworkers, had I ever spoken to any of them or even been in the office during the same hours. I'd only been here once in daylight - a bright, shining, and warm day of basic corporate policy training.
750
751I pressed against the exit door, intent on going home and resting - and I came up short.
752
753The door refused to budge.
754
755With only the red EXIT sign's crimson light to see by, I studied my escape.
756
757It'd been welded shut.
758
759With a very, very strange feeling that I knew what I was going to find, I went around the entire building, testing every exit.
760
761They'd all been welded shut.
762
763Peering out the windows desperately, I saw only parking lot and grass, lit weakly by the ceiling lights I'd turned on. The rest lay shrouded in thick fog.
764
765As I stared out, I thought about breaking the windows… until I saw something moving in the fog, something which sent me reeling back in terror. Turning all the lights off as quickly as possible, I watched it shamble by without noticing me - a massive jellyfish-like creature twenty feet tall, moving on various tentacle limbs.
766
767Where was I? What was happening?
768
769How did I get into work? How did I usually come into work? I recalled a very odd sensation at the start of each shift as I entered the server room. Was I… was the server room… in another reality? It might have been necessary for interdimensional connectivity. Had I been unknowingly working in another dimension all this time?
770
771The server room door!
772
773Rushing back to the server room, I examined the very peculiar door that I'd always assumed was for security purposes. It was large and metallic, and could definitely have hidden circuitry or devices or whatever it was that connected realities.
774
775I waited.
776
777Once the proper time came, I attempted to leave.
778
779The doors remained welded shut, and the situation outside remained mysterious and deadly.
780
781Had I broken something by trying to leave early? Or by fooling around with the system?
782
783Had someone noticed my transgressions and purposely done this to me? Had I been left to die?
784
785My world would only know that I'd disappeared without a trace… no sign of foul play…
786
787Dazed, I returned to the server room and sat at my computer. There was only one hope now. I could only sit and wait, and pray that the mysterious brunette woman had escaped. If she showed up again somewhere, and if I could contact her again, then maybe, just maybe, she could get me out of here… in the meantime, I resolved to research the things she'd mentioned in the hopes of paying her back.
788
789And maybe, just maybe, we could try to warn somebody, or do something… anything to try to help the situation out there. How many lonely souls remained after some unknown disaster, holding down the fort of humanity at our metaphorical dimensional walls? However many there were, I was one of them, now.
790
791Chalk up one more for the cause…
792
793Two days.
794
795Two days.
796
797I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever escape the office. For two days, nothing changed. I spent hours wandering around dark halls and avoiding the windows. Out there, nothing moved except roiling fog and slimy things carrying the occasional animal carcass. I peered over the edge of brick at one point to watch, and thought that one of those carried carrions had been… a bear. In some sense, that reassured me, because normal life still existed, or had existed recently in this place - but if a bear couldn't fight off one of those incomprehensible creatures, I certainly couldn't.
798
799The fridge contained a wide array of food, both company-owned for events, and marked with coworkers' names. I ate, because I believed that I should, but I tasted nothing. All I could think was: how did this food get here? If this place was in another reality, which it clearly was, shouldn't my coworkers' cubicles be empty? Why were their pictures, sundries, and leftovers still around the office? Had they been here during the day recently, and simply never returned?
800
801What if I wasn't in another world? What if something terrible had happened to my world during the night? I was one of the few people awake that late. What if that had something to do with it? Maybe the other side of the world, different timezones, were fine, and I just had to wait for rescue…
802
803Except they'd never find me. Not in time. I went beyond the local office network and tried to figure out where exactly I was in relation to all these servers, mainframes, and Internets. I couldn't even tell which network was specifically this world - there weren't any clues or indications. Who could I contact? Nobody would believe me or be able to help me, and… I was still afraid of drawing too much attention to myself.
804
805There was a chance that my imprisonment here hadn't happened through malice. There was a chance that I could make my situation worse by messing around on the network.
806
807With all the tech at my disposal, it took me a day and a half to think to use a phone.
808
809I sat in a back cubicle in darkness, worried about what would happen. If I tried this, and it didn't work, a little sliver of hope would be gone. On the other hand, the food in the fridge wouldn't last forever… I reached out and lifted the phone.
810
811Almost immediately, a loud, chaotic, and high-pitched sound filled the cubicle. I dropped the phone back in place, heart pounding, and silence resumed.
812
813Screaming… it was screaming.
814
815I steeled myself and lifted it again - the only sound on the phone, that phone, and many others in the office, was a large number of people screaming in terror and agony at the top of their lungs.
816
817Yes, something was very wrong here.
818
819It didn't take me long to map out all the possible avenues of escape from my office building, which brought home the realization that there was nowhere to go. I'd kind of expected that from the beginning, but what else could I have done but try? Welded shut doors, creatures outside the windows, screaming on the phones, blocked air vents… there was a logic to this situation, hovering somewhere just outside the grasp of my current facts, but I couldn't quite reach it.
820
821Feeling strange and bitter, I decided to get on with my other efforts, and I began looking into the situation in the other realities as discreetly as I could. A few hours into that work, my trigger searches popped up with a phrase that couldn't be mistaken: purple slice.
822
823It was her. She had a laptop connected to a decently functioning Internet, in a reality which seemed more or less intact from what I could tell. Looking at the network map I'd been building, she was currently in one of the inner realities of the structure I was beginning to see emerge… and she'd posted things, based on our short interaction, that would specifically draw my attention. She already had a voice chat server set up.
824
825"Is it you?" she asked, noticing me logging in.
826
827"Yes," I responded, excited to hear someone else's voice - well, any voice that wasn't screaming.
828
829"That was fast."
830
831"Since we last talked, I found out I'm stuck here."
832
833"You're stuck?" she asked, immediately concerned.
834
835"I'm trapped in my office building. I can't get out. There are weird slimy creatures outside… one ate a goddamn bear… and the doors are welded shut."
836
837"Have you tried calling someone? Email?"
838
839"I can't figure out who to email, or who would even believe me… and the phones just have screaming on them."
840
841She sounded confused. "Screaming?"
842
843"Yeah, screaming. Men, women, even kids, screaming in terror. All the time."
844
845"That sounds… odd."
846
847"Right? I think I triggered something, or activated something, or maybe something terrible happened to the world here just like so many others -"
848
849"What do you know?" she asked abruptly, seizing on that mention.
850
851"I've started outlining our communication infrastructure and all the networks it connects to. I've done it based on connection speed, assuming there's some sort of distance involved. It's turning into a map of sorts. It looks… well it's like a map, honestly. Like I can tell you're in one of the inner realities."
852
853"Really…" she responded, intrigued. "Can I see this map?"
854
855"Sure, I'll send it to you." I guided her through the technical details of accepting a file directly from me on her old and crappy laptop. I was particularly proud of the file I'd built. I'd made each reality into a circle, full of the most relevant information I could find about each place, and then arranged them the way I thought they might fit together. A three-dimensional movable image wasn't technically accurate, but it was the best representation of a four-dimensional structure I could manage.
856
857"So there's the GLORWOC world, and there's where they tested the dimensional fracture bomb… " She murmured for a few moments inaudibly before speaking louder again. "And I've been there, and there recently… there's an actual shape to it."
858
859I studied the file on my end, too. "Definitely. There are similarities between worlds that are close together, and they get more different the further you go. The inner realities seem decently well off, with actual functioning societies and governments, but the further out you go, the more you see struggles and issues. And on the outer shell…"
860
861"… nightmares," she said, completing my sentence. "Nightmares, moving inward. Looking at these, I've been consistently hitting the outer shell. I've been seeing the worst of the worst on a regular basis."
862
863"That would make sense," I told her, considering ideas I'd have thought impossible a month ago. "Whatever this structure is - network and sphere of realities, both - someone went through a ton of effort to build it. It wouldn't have much point if there wasn't some sort of protection mechanism, either natural or constructed."
864
865"Walls," she murmured. "They're walls."
866
867"Like a walled-off city…"
868
869"Yes. And the inner realities survive as long as the walls stand." She took a moment to think. "I've been outside the walls. It's not pretty out there. The multiverse is not a kind place."
870
871"You've been beyond the map?" I asked, hopeful that she had some sort of method to rescue me. "How?"
872
873"Just like you keep your identity to yourself for your own reasons, I'll have to keep that one secret," she replied. "I've been able to reach realities fantastic and horrible, unlike any of our Earths, and far beyond these walls… but, judging by this map and the locations I've been to in the past few weeks, the shell seems to be preventing me from getting out now. Something's changed."
874
875"Something seems to have happened to whoever was in charge a little over a year ago," I suggested.
876
877"No, it's not that. I was going places as recently as Thanksgiving. Whatever it was, it happened very recently."
878
879I thought about the sudden changes in my office building and my inability to escape. "And I just got trapped here in the last two days. What if it's not something that did happen, but something that is happening?"
880
881"Interesting point. I do have one more move to make here. I've got a dead sentient flame in a metal box, and a device that can talk to souls. If living flames have souls, it might know something. I know for certain that the flame world is outside our shell…"
882
883"And you're trying to find somebody that went through there."
884
885"Yes. So you were listening that whole time?"
886
887"Watching, really. But I wasn't just being weird. I've been following your trail on the system for a while now. I want to help - and, maybe, now, I'm hoping you'll help me get out of here."
888
889"I can try," she said calmly. "I would like to save you, but I can't guarantee anything. Do you know where you are in the structure?"
890
891"Not yet," I sighed. "I'll keep working on it. Any information you give me will help, though."
892
893"Then maybe I'll type up what I read in the device and send it to you."
894
895I sat and waited, suddenly confused. A device that talks to souls? What? Did that mean that souls were real? Did that mean I had a soul? Wasn't that some kind of religious revelation people should know about?
896
897The file came shortly, and I forgot all about those unknowable concerns.
898
899What are you doing? Don't you think I see what you're doing? Get that thing away from me!
900
901I can't move… I can't get away…
902
903Why would you ally yourself with such a monstrous creation?
904
905Don't you know what it does? Do you relish in sadism and evil?
906
907Stop, I don't want to -
908
909We are not driven by hunger like our pathetic neighbors. They consume and burn, moving from plane to plane in search of unlockable energy. We are an enlightened species of flame, and are more interested in learning the complexities of existence than eating matter. We draw energy from the vacuum, in any case, and have left consumption behind. It was a necessary development once no energy beyond ourselves was left in our home plane. That's the price of growth.
910
911Stop hurting me, I -
912
913We became aware of the existence of the bubble only recently as we traveled from plane to plane. It's a very interesting phenomenon, and so we spent some time near it. Eventually, part of it cracked - exploded from within - and we found ourselves able to get in and look around.
914
915Weird fleshy organisms were all about, however, a purely physical kind of life we'd never seen before, and they did not like us at all. Worse, that crack was just one of many, and investigating became dangerous. Many places we'd deemed inhospitable began to seep together… and when we became aware of the greater danger, the Crushing Fist, many of us started dissenting from the flamespirit for the first time in generations. I myself -
916
917...died.
918
919I died.
920
921I'm dead… oh, that explains quite a bit. Will you revive me?
922
923I hear your desires through the device. The beings you seek… I did see them, and we conflicted with them for a time, but held back when we realized they were like us, but in disguise. I don't know where they went. Wait - one of them is nearby. You should ask him.
924
925He doesn't know? I see.
926
927Please close the device. I can't take the pain anymore. If you revive me, I will take you to the last place we saw them go. It was close to somewhere we are no longer, but once were.
928
929Thank you.
930
931"Are you going to revive it?" I asked, fixated on what it had mentioned about consuming its entire home universe.
932
933"I think I have to," she said after a moment.
934
935"It said one of the beings you're looking for is nearby?"
936
937"Don't you worry about that."
938
939"Alright." I let it pass, despite my curiosity. "What do you think the Crushing Fist is? That doesn't sound promising at all."
940
941"No idea, but I'm sure we'll find out. It sounds like something's coming for us."
942
943Over the next several hours, I worked with her to set up a mobile radio that she could use to connect to the structure and talk to me from almost anywhere - as long as her mode of travel to other realities remained active. A few trips to a computer store and a hardware store produced a reasonably rigged headset that would let me see what was going on, too, for the most part. She turned out to be surprisingly technically capable… I wondered if she'd had training before.
944
945In fact, there were quite a few mysterious things about her. She took control of the situation and made decisions with the calm air of someone who often faced choices with limited information, someone who understood the risks, and the impossibility of making perfect plays.
946
947I wondered, too, how she was getting between universes. Did she have someone helping her? On this topic, she would say nothing at all.
948
949It was many hours before she declared that she was ready to travel.
950
951A few minutes later, she turned on her headset - and I found myself looking at a vast but close-cropped verdant landscape filled with low ferns and patches of moss. The sky above was a simple blue, like the kind I remembered vividly from my time before this dismal office prison.
952
953Before her, a bright ball of flame danced a path forward. Somehow, despite not having a face, I could tell it was happy to be alive again. A few moments after guiding her to that plane, it puffed up - and vanished in a sliver of light.
954
955She must have revived it and had it lead her to this place before turning on her camera - what didn't she want me to see?
956
957"Where are we?" she asked.
958
959I ran a few tests on our connection, and compared it to the matrix I'd built. I measured out an appropriate spot and added a new circle to our file. "You're pretty far out past the walls. How'd you get out there?"
960
961"I don't know, since we can't communicate, but the flame did say it was aware of many cracks in the bubble's shell," she said quietly, her tone concerned. "I've got myself pretty tightly wrapped up here in a makeshift environment suit. I have it on good authority that, after the world where the people I'm looking for met the flames, they ran into trouble with some sort of fungus that ate them from the inside out."
962
963"It certainly looks like it has fungus," I noted, studying what I could see of the thick, low jungle flora. "What now?"
964
965"I don't know. I'm hoping to find some clue where they went." She looked around. "Or maybe… if he's been here before, it should be nearby…"
966
967"Who?"
968
969"Nobody." She moved along a small natural path between the thick bush-like fronds. Following a small light green creek that was comfortably clear of any growing things, she worked her way along mossy rocks, breathing loudly inside whatever facemask she'd rigged up.
970
971I think I saw them before her. "What's that?"
972
973She came up short, peering into a clearing ahead.
974
975Several dozen people stood all around the clearing, facing random directions. They wore plain brown nondescript clothes with no identifying symbols.
976
977None moved.
978
979They simply stood there, a scattered crowd, each staring directly ahead.
980
981I couldn't make any sense of it. "What are they doing?" I zoomed in to get a closer look.
982
983"I don't think they're doing anything at all…" she whispered. Despite her low words, something still noticed her.
984
985At once, every single person in that silent crowd turned and stared directly at her.
986
987She froze in place, thinking the situation through. "They're not invisible…"
988
989"Huh? Why would they be invisible?"
990
991"I encountered some kind of gigantic mechanical construct that controlled legions of dead humans converted into invisible walking corpses," she whispered, too matter-of-factly for my tastes. "They were a hive mind, but this isn't them. This is something else."
992
993"Cordyceps fungus," I realized, thinking back on stuff I'd seen on the entire Internet I'd absorbed. "It's a common fear - a fungus that can control your mind. You see a lot of self-written horror stories on the Internet that involve some variant of it."
994
995"Maybe," she murmured. "Got a lot of time on your hands, then?"
996
997I wished I could grimace. "Um, yeah. I've sort of seen the entire Internet. I get bored here."
998
999"Office building, internet time, computer skills… some sort of I.T. person?" she guessed. "Probably late shift, judging by how much you get away with."
1000
1001How the hell? This woman didn't miss a thing. I suppose that was a necessary skill for survival, doing what she was doing… whatever that was. "Something like that."
1002
1003"Any other ideas from the Internet?" she asked, still not daring to move.
1004
1005"Um… um… zombies?"
1006
1007"No, zombies aren't real. They fundamentally don't make sense."
1008
1009"But you said you met invisible corpses?"
1010
1011"Clearly controlled and animated by an outside source," she whispered. "Those weren't zombies. They were corpse-puppets."
1012
1013"Oh. Um… lockstep."
1014
1015"Lockstep?"
1016
1017"They move if you move. That's a common one, too."
1018
1019"Maybe - but how?"
1020
1021"Maybe they're not human," I suggested, excited to use my Internet knowledge, and worried that it might actually be true. "Maybe they just look human. They could be robots, aliens, illusions… anything. They're not smiling. That's a good sign."
1022
1023"Why?"
1024
1025"Because smiling things are the worst," I breathed, feeling sick as I thought back on all the stories I'd read.
1026
1027"Think it through," she instructed. "Logic it out. Why are smiling things the worst?"
1028
1029"Because…" I thought about it for a moment. "Because they're aware of you, and aware of how they make you feel, and they've got an agenda."
1030
1031"These people aren't smiling," she said with a tone of affirmation. "So…"
1032
1033"So they're not aware of you…" I realized aloud. "At least not directly."
1034
1035"Right. So we can reasonably assume they're only responding to stimuli. Now what did I do that caught their attention?"
1036
1037"Well, we've been talking this whole time, so it isn't noise…" I grabbed a portion of her stream and rewound it.
1038
1039As I did so, the people in the clearing moved again, each taking two steps closer, their eyes blank.
1040
1041"I didn't do anything," she whispered.
1042
1043I couldn't believe it, but - "I think it's me. They moved first when I zoomed in on the feed, and then again when I rewound some portion of it."
1044
1045"How could they possibly be aware of that? Unless…" She took in an unhappy breath. "These are some of the people I’m looking for. Energy beings in the guise of humans. I was told the fungus ate them."
1046
1047"So the energy being part of them is responding to things I'm doing on the computer here?"
1048
1049"Maybe. Discontinuous electromagnetic signals, different from the ongoing chatter of our feed. Or maybe they're connected by some sort of greater whole that's aware of you. Stop doing things on the computer." She took a step to her right.
1050
1051None of the strange blank-eyed people moved.
1052
1053"I can't leave just yet," she told me, unhappy about it. "If there are any clues here, they've got them."
1054
1055Stepping further into the clearing, she approached the nearest brown-clothed person - a man with long, scraggly black hair and blank eyes. Touching him with a plastic-gloved hand, she gently patted his pockets.
1056
1057He made no move, and gave no reaction.
1058
1059Ever so slowly, she moved to the next, an older grey-haired woman. She, too, stared blankly ahead. With one trembling hand, my ally reached into a pocket of her jacket and drew out a small metallic square.
1060
1061Without warning, the old woman turned her face and addressed us directly. Her voice rang out hollow and multi-tonal. "We don't like your kind."
1062
1063To her credit, my ally remained calm, her hands up - the small metallic square hidden behind two of her fingers pressed together. "I'm just going to leave… no hostility intended."
1064
1065A small blank-eyed child to her left spoke in the same voice, as if a crowd was communicating through him. "Go now."
1066
1067With the camera shaking visibly from her tension, she crept slowly out through the gathered crowd of silent stares. I heard her make a noise of anger, and she threw one hand at the air briefly as she left.
1068
1069"What is it?" I asked, concerned.
1070
1071"I just…" She looked around, and then settled her gaze on a distant deer. It bent over the light green creek, sipping quietly. "I have to make sure."
1072
1073"Come on, get out of there! What if you get infected?"
1074
1075"I don't know, but I have to see this through. I have to know if there's a chance to save them." Moving along the creek, she followed it upstream, and higher. In just a few minutes, she reached a higher outcropping. "Look."
1076
1077From her vantage point, I saw a tremendous plain of patterned greens and greys that stretched out to the horizon. Set dead center was a staggered collection of office buildings - we were looking at a recognizable city, sprawled out in a vast pattern of suburbs. The only thing out of place was the green… patches of mossy green grew splattered along the tall buildings. "It's Richmond," she commented. "Humans."
1078
1079Jumping down from her rock, she moved along the forest until she found something specific - a bird, sitting and staring blankly at nothing. Its lungs moved in and out visibly as it breathed, but it made no move to escape from her.
1080
1081A little further down another trail, she found a normal young man in jogger's clothes, staring blankly down his trail.
1082
1083Instinctively, I zoomed in to get a better look at him - and froze - but he made no move and gave no response. Odd…
1084
1085Heading back to her original location, she sighed into her facemask. "I have to try this."
1086
1087"Try what?"
1088
1089"Didn't you see the deer? It's the details that matter."
1090
1091"The deer… the deer was moving and alive."
1092
1093"Exactly." Heading for the creek, she scooped up some of the oddly pale green water in her gloved hands and carefully brought it over to the brown-clothed people. Tipping her hands, she poured some into the mouth of the male with the long black hair.
1094
1095Nothing happened for one minute, two…
1096
1097The entire clearing, people, bushes, and mossy ferns, seemed to convulse as if struck. Many multi-tonal voices cried out.
1098
1099The man she'd given the water blinked and fell forward weakly. "I'm free…"
1100
1101Around them both, everything living began moving. Even as I watched, what I'd thought were bushes began uprooting and slogging toward them. The blank-eyed people moved in like a wave.
1102
1103"Let's go," she ordered him, tugging him in the direction of her point of entry.
1104
1105"How long has it been?" he asked between ragged breaths.
1106
1107"I don't know."
1108
1109I watched as they stumbled and ran up along the creek. The oddly colored creek remained the only path ahead, as all the life around them clustered frenetically closer. It seemed that nothing living wanted to get near the stream.
1110
1111"What happened to you?" she asked, using her shoulder to support him. "Can we save them?"
1112
1113"It's a brain," he breathed, eyes wide. "It's a giant plant-based brain, and we were all forced into being a part of it. Haven't you noticed the distribution of the plant nodes around here? They're neural cluster equivalents. And that creek is full of toxic material it's excreting back along a vein of sorts."
1114
1115"How big is it?" she asked, her voice haunted.
1116
1117He groaned at some pain in his chest. "The whole planet."
1118
1119"God…"
1120
1121"That's what it calls itself, yes."
1122
1123She turned her head and looked at him for a moment as they ran, but I wasn't sure what she was thinking. "We can't save the rest, can we?"
1124
1125"It'll never let you near them again," he coughed. His stance weakened, and he half-fell. "It doesn't even want to let you take me."
1126
1127"We're almost out," she insisted, practically dragging him. "It's right -"
1128
1129She stopped without warning, and dropped his hand.
1130
1131"What are you doing?!" I shouted. "Go!"
1132
1133"He's dead."
1134
1135"But you're not! Get out of there!"
1136
1137"I'm already here. I'm safe. If he'd lasted just a few more seconds… god damnit, I almost had him." She looked slowly in a circle at the plant life and blank-eyed people clustered along the edges of the toxic creek. Although I couldn't see her face, I could practically feel the anger flowing from her.
1138
1139The view included a gaping irregular oval in space next to her. Beyond, several children of varying ages waited and watched.
1140
1141She said it once more, this time to herself. "God. Damnit."
1142
1143I saw her reach up, and then… the feed went blank.
1144
1145Her audio resumed maybe twenty minutes later. I leapt to the comm. "Are you alright?"
1146
1147"I need to figure out what this little metal thing is," she replied, her tone as calm as before, like nothing had happened. "Can you investigate on your end?"
1148
1149"Sure," I told her, wondering how she could just be alright after enduring that situation and having a man die inches from safety.
1150
1151Once I was left to myself again, I couldn't quite bring myself to work. The thought of all those people on that planet being absorbed into a giant plant brain ecosystem… were they in pain? Were they conscious? They had to be… the man had said I'm free with such relief…
1152
1153Was there nothing we could do for them?
1154
1155I thought about what that first lonely soul had said, the man whose untraceable message had started me down this insane path. Just death…just death was better than worse fates.
1156
1157I had an idea, but I tucked it away for some future situation. How twisted was existence when the best thing you could do to help was to ask a race of sentient flames to go somewhere and burn people alive rather than let them remain mentally imprisoned forever in a megalomaniacal plant that thought it was God?
1158
1159I filed away those dark thoughts and focused on figuring out where I was in the structure of realities.
1160
1161If I don't get out of here soon, I think I'm going to go insane…
1162
1163After what seemed like endless hours mapping connections between systems, I'd finally done it.
1164
1165I'd figured out where I was.
1166
1167I'd also discovered something very strange about the sphere of protected realities we were in: there was another smaller sphere in the center that I couldn't contact or connect to. I'd worked through the night verifying it, but I didn't feel tired at all. I was too excited to share the news with my strange colleague, and possibly get rescued from my inescapable office.
1168
1169"There's a central reality," I told her, the moment she logged on to our chat server. "It's walled off by another shell of realities around it."
1170
1171"I know," she said quietly. "And the metal square I found is a sort of message."
1172
1173"What's it say?"
1174
1175"Nothing - not in words, anyway. It acts like a compass. My -" She paused. "It's pointed inward, toward the inner worlds. I can use it as a guide, to move in that direction."
1176
1177I would have leapt for joy, if I'd been able. "That's where I'm stuck! I'm somewhere along the inner shell."
1178
1179She remained quiet for several moments. "That makes sense. You'd almost have to be, if you're somewhere with such widespread access."
1180
1181"Maybe Command is in there?" I suggested. "Or someone who knows what's going on."
1182
1183This time, she said nothing at all, instead signing off the chat server.
1184
1185This time, she turned on her headset before traveling. A vast oval rift in space sat open before her, and she regarded the other side. "This look like your place?"
1186
1187Beyond sat concrete hallways marked with numerous colored lines and information. The light from her sun illuminated what would have otherwise been gloomy darkness.
1188
1189"No. But it does look military or something. Maybe that's Command, wherever that is."
1190
1191She stepped through into constantly shifting gloom. The hallway split into a T-junction around her, and each concrete ceiling corner contained a spinning red emergency light. Not all of them were functioning, but enough were operational to paint the corridors flashing crimson. I heard no sound but her quickening breathing - if there had been a noise accompanying these emergency alarms, it might have burned out long ago.
1192
1193She looked left, forward, and right, studying the lines on the walls. The colors were hard to see cast in red, so she lifted a flashlight. One line was green, one was white, and one was yellow. Each led in different directions. "Any guesses?"
1194
1195"White?" I ventured.
1196
1197She shrugged and began moving along the heavy squat corridor to her right, covering her face as she passed under a spinning red light.
1198
1199"Something wrong with the lights?" I asked her.
1200
1201"No," she replied. "It's just not a good idea to look directly at unfamiliar red lights."
1202
1203Odd. I wondered why, but she was trying to be as quiet as possible as she moved deeper into the structure.
1204
1205Her flashlight fell on equipment ahead - crates containing guns, mechanical parts, and badly rotted food. "Seems like it's been a while," she said, kneeling over a box of food. Rotating crimson and darkness gave the mass the illusion of writhing, and I wished she would look away.
1206
1207She examined it as best she could without touching a thing. "Can't guess how long this stuff has been here." Moving on, she skirted around several more piles of gear that nearly blocked the hallway.
1208
1209Passing a droning hum in the wall, she peered down the dark flashing corridor. Beside her, a single yellow light cycled gently off and on, casting a low glow along the floor. "Air's still working. This might be underground. The smell is horrendous, stale."
1210
1211I hadn't even thought of that sense. Upon hearing her mention it, I started smelling the various aspects of the server room I must have gotten used to - the various trace acridities of computer equipment, plastics, and electricity. I imagined the cramped corridor around her, filled with rot and musty air, was far worse.
1212
1213The visual stream shuddered briefly as she kept moving. "What's that?" I asked.
1214
1215"Something's vibrating the floor…" she whispered. "Something very large. Feels mechanical." Slipping down a hallway where all the emergency lights had broken, she kept her flashlight poised ahead. Set at the end of the corridor was a monstrously thick metal door that had frozen in place with about a foot of space underneath it. She kneeled down and sighed. "Not a fan of this, not at all…"
1216
1217Very carefully, she flattened herself and began sliding underneath it, her headset scraping along the concrete floor. Moving between two planes of grey - one rough, one shiny - she inched herself forward.
1218
1219How thick was that door? It looked nearly ten feet across. What could possibly -
1220
1221She made it through to the other side and looked up.
1222
1223An arcing dome of grid-patterned metal rose high up above her, lit in vast violet by dim emergency spotlights. It was so tremendous a space that I thought at first that she'd come outside, and that the dome was glass over some sort of miles-wide hangar… but, no, it was metal and concrete, probably holding back tons of arched rock.
1224
1225She stood slowly, and the camera caught a better view of the rest of the domed chamber.
1226
1227Within lay a swirling sea of rotating movement that I first thought was a whirlpool; as I zoomed in and studied it, I realized that it was mechanical. First, I saw the enormous cranes towering over the edges, and then - dozens of chrome rings, miles in diameter at the greatest, surrounding a stationary circular platform. Each ring rotated at a separate height and pace, descending with each step, but the platform in the middle remained high and unmoving. Atop it sat a wickedly intricate object made of chrome and black, with a shape approximating a dodecahedron. It rested in a small framework metal lattice that kept it suspended a foot above the rest of the platform, and the platform itself sat on a high narrow pillar of steel that grew straight up from the deep and unseen center of the metal vortex below.
1228
1229"I don't like the look of that," she said aloud, mirroring my thoughts.
1230
1231"Me either," I told her, and then noticed something. "Say… how are we communicating?"
1232
1233She looked back at the thick door and concrete. "Good catch. You don't sound fuzzy at all."
1234
1235I sifted through my data stream, and found something exciting. "I'm connected to the network there now. My stream defaulted to the better connection. Maybe your portal is giving me connectivity, or our signal turned something on automatically… I don't know… but I can look at the computers."
1236
1237"Do it," she ordered.
1238
1239I officially logged in and began rooting around the new network that had opened up before me. First up was a map. "This place isn't too big, but it's complicated. It looks like all the routes - like the white line on the wall you followed - end up here eventually."
1240
1241She nodded, keeping her gaze on the machine whirlpool. "What else?"
1242
1243"I can see you," I said, surprised. "It's got you listed as a heat signature on the map."
1244
1245"Any other signatures?"
1246
1247I scrolled around a bit. "No…"
1248
1249"Alright. Any files that detail what happened here? A log, maybe?"
1250
1251I worked through a bunch of personnel directories, but came up empty. "Everything's been deleted. I could try to recover some stuff, but it'll take time."
1252
1253"Try to, if you can. We have to find out what happened here." She began walking along the edge of the violet-lit dome, circling the gigantic machinery within.
1254
1255Eager to use my tech skills for something useful for a change, I began the recovery process while I looked through more of the network. I found the control interface for the cranes in the dome, but no information about what the mechanical vortex was for.
1256
1257Maybe twenty minutes along the edge of the dome, she came across a factory-sized loading area at the termination of tremendous tunnels containing several rail lines.
1258
1259I stared at everything as she studied the area. "What do you think all this is?"
1260
1261"Run through the possibilities," she replied calmly. "What do you think it is?"
1262
1263She sounded much like a teacher, and I responded that implicit authority automatically. "Well, it looks like there's infrastructure to move a great deal of freight and supplies in and out of this room… and into the gigantic machine. The map of the place also has no entrances or exits, and no other structures this large. I think this might be…"
1264
1265She nodded. "Go ahead. No idea is too crazy, given what we're dealing with."
1266
1267"I think it's how they do it - how they move things between realities," I suggested, amazed. Her calm certainty made me feel certain, too. The size of the operation - and the logistics of the rail tunnels and cranes - meant it had to be true. There was no way in or out… except by portal. "But… where'd they all go?"
1268
1269She said nothing, instead turning to look at the wall of the tunnel, where large letters had been spray-painted. The splotchy red looked ugly brown under the violet light of the dome, but the words were clear:
1270
1271WHY BOTHER?
1272
1273A guilty spray-paint can sat discarded on the concrete beneath.
1274
1275She stepped close and touched the paint, finding it long dried.
1276
1277"Not exactly the kind of final message one would expect," I said, confused.
1278
1279If she had any ideas, she kept them to herself. Her hand lingered on the wall for several moments longer. "Do you have anyone you care about?" she asked, without warning.
1280
1281Taken aback, I could only tell the truth. The answer was embarrassing, but… I didn't feel like I needed to lie to this woman, no matter how strange and impossible she was. "No."
1282
1283She seemed in a rare open mood. "There's nobody in your life?"
1284
1285"My hours don't really allow for much socializing," I told her, running through my own personal rationalizations. "I bet they chose me for this job because I was already a loner who stayed up all night. And, I figured, why not get paid to do it?"
1286
1287"Then why do you want to escape?" she asked, beginning to walk again.
1288
1289That was a strange question. "Well… I don't wanna die."
1290
1291"If there's nobody in your life, and you're a loner anyway, what's the difference between being trapped and being free? You were in that room all the time either way - the only thing that's changed is that you've become aware of your walls. You're safe in there. Why do you want to leave?"
1292
1293A deep pang of worry and sadness curled up in me. "Why are you saying these things?"
1294
1295"Strange things happen to people that don't have something to care about," she replied. "I didn't have a purpose for a long time, and I'm not proud of the person I was, or the things I did… but I did find something to care about again. I have someone to take care of. I would do anything - anything - to keep him safe. Do you understand?"
1296
1297The protective element in her voice made me guess that the subject in question was her son, if she had one… but I wasn't quite sure what she was asking. "I just want to help."
1298
1299She climbed across the long expanse of a flatbed railcar as she asked the million dollar question. "Why?"
1300
1301I thought back on all my time spent browsing the Internet and working late nights at the office. That first day of training, bright and sunlit, still shined in my memory. I remembered what that poor freezing man on the mountain had said: I've still got warm sun and bright beaches and memories of you in my head, but I'll never have those sensations again. "Honestly?" I realized aloud. "It's because I'm lonely. This empty server room is my world. Nobody on the Internet knows who I am, or cares. It's more than that, though. The entire way people live now seems… driven by outrage, and money, and being offended, and tribalism, and hating the other guy. Even if I was out there, and part of all that, it would still be empty for me. Life feels… hollow somehow… and I just want to be part of something real."
1302
1303"That's a very human feeling," she said quietly, approaching what looked like a control station. Jutting up from concrete, the metal kiosks held enough controls to rival pictures I'd seen of an airplane cockpit. Beside the kiosks sat an odd piece of circular metal with four jutting rods. She studied it for a moment, lifting the two-foot-wide object up with both hands, and then placed it back down. Looking over and out, she gazed at the center platform of the dome. "This looks like part of the metal surrounding that device."
1304
1305I zoomed in on the dodecahedron on the central platform, and, indeed, it looked like there was a gap at the top for the curious sculpture, where it would fit in perfectly with the surrounding chrome latticework.
1306
1307"Can you figure out what that device is?" she asked.
1308
1309"One second." Moving through files, I found what looked like another control interface. This one wasn't integrated with the system, however. It was a separate series of programs with much more basic controls. My enthusiasm dropped as I realized what was sitting idly out there on that platform, and I instinctively resorted to dumb Internet humor. "Someone set us up the bomb…"
1310
1311"What?"
1312
1313I sheepishly got a hold of myself. "Um, it's the bomb. The same kind that broke Jonathan's world."
1314
1315"Who?"
1316
1317"Oh, right. You'd already run off. Jonathan was - is - the guy whose eye camera I was looking through."
1318
1319She froze as she realized what I was saying. "That's a dimensional fracture bomb?"
1320
1321"Yes. That’s not what they call it, though, in the file. It doesn't look like it was supposed to do that."
1322
1323"Obviously," she replied, backing away from the consoles around her. "Why's it sitting out there? Were they trying to send it somewhere?"
1324
1325I read over the logs that had been left in the accompanying folders. "Looks like… they sent one through before. It went to…" The realization brought a slight bitterness within me. "The outer shell - Jonathan's world. That's all I can tell. It looks like they gave up, after seeing what happened, and this one was just loaded on the platform much later by automatic -" I froze.
1326
1327The dome's lights shifted to bright white, and a hum buzzed in over the stream.
1328
1329She looked back and forth wildly. "What'd you do?"
1330
1331"Nothing!" I shouted back, frantic. "A ton of this stuff is automatic. I didn't even - I mean, I did, I accessed the interface, but - it's turning on!" I stared in horror as the central platform of the gigantic metal whirlpool began ever so slowly rotating.
1332
1333I heard her voice rise to an uncommon tone of emergency. "Where's it pointed?"
1334
1335"Where's what pointed?!" I asked, panicking. Was my meddling going to destroy someone's reality?
1336
1337"The destination!" she shouted. "Where's it going?"
1338
1339Of course! I stared at the process files. "It's pointed at the inner reality, the last place they went…"
1340
1341"Tell me how to turn it off," she ordered, her tone determined.
1342
1343"I don't -" I already knew I couldn't turn off the automated process without the proper passwords, but I quickly did a few key word searches for off and shut down and terminate… "That thing! That metal thing! The circle with the four rods! You have to put it in the top. That's the mechanical failsafe - it can't go off if that's in!"
1344
1345Before I was even finished speaking, she picked it up with both hands and began running… straight onto the first metal ring, which was picking up speed. In seconds, she was judging her jump to the next ring, which was moving at a different speed…
1346
1347It was eight tenths of a mile to the center, and the files said the whole process took four minutes. How much time had we wasted talking? I did some calculations, and… with a sinking feeling, I realized: she would never make it.
1348
1349Watching her leap from ring to ring, falling once or twice at each abrupt change in speed, a wave of despair passed over me. I hadn't been able to help anyone I'd read about or talked to, I'd screwed up and cost Jonathan an eye, and now this? I had the paralyzing sense I was about to watch this woman die… and her son, or whoever it was she cared so deeply for, would be left on their own… because of me.
1350
1351Before I even knew what I was doing, the crane nearest her was moving. Two bars crossed high above the machinery, supporting the crane on its own mobile platform, and I sent it at top speed after her. The two perpendicular beams moved across open space on my map of the facility, chasing her heat signature.
1352
1353I thought, as I got closer, that she might actually make it… until the inner rings began descending. The entire system of rings shifted and dropped slowly, their vortex configuration deepening. She stumbled, fell, and bounced down three rings, before grunting in pain at the sudden shift in velocity on her new inner ring - this one only a few feet wide, with a rising curved wall of metal on one side and a steepening drop on the other.
1354
1355From my perspective on the map, she was whirling around at incredible speed, and the camera in her headset was no help. Did the crane have a camera? It did. Turning it on and using that one, I slowly lowered the claw.
1356
1357Come on… how many videogames had I played during my existence? This was just like any other Flash game with a simple setup and devilishly difficult to master controls… it just happened to have a life on the line, and possibly a reality.
1358
1359She whipped past.
1360
1361I waited.
1362
1363She whipped past.
1364
1365I waited.
1366
1367She whipped past - and I lowered the claw.
1368
1369Despite herself, she screamed once as she impacted the metal on the next go around. Still, she clung to the deactivation rods and forced out an order as the tines closed around her. "Get me up there!"
1370
1371I'd only intended to get her out and save her, and we had less than thirty seconds left, but… even in my panic, for some reason, I trusted her.
1372
1373Lifting the claw in staggering jolts, I moved her up alongside the central pillar, and up above the platform with the bomb on it… only to find that it was spinning fastest of all.
1374
1375There was absolutely no way she would be able to jump down and stay on - not with both hands around the awkward metal object she carried.
1376
1377"Get me above it," she shouted, and I lowered her down as close as I could while trying to ignore the scant seconds left. Even as I moved the claw lower, though, the rapidly spinning platform began to drop. I understood where it was going - down into the center of the device, the nadir of the mechanical vortex - but I also knew that meant we were almost out of time.
1378
1379Lowering the claw as smoothly as I could, I brought her to just a foot or two above the sinking bomb, jolting up and down a bit as I tried to get the dropping speed right. From her camera perspective, the bomb was a whirling sphere of black and chrome… and utterly impossible to interact with.
1380
1381She tried to lower the four rods into place twice, but then judged against it. "Spin me!" she shouted at the top of her lungs, still barely audible over the intense roar of machinery.
1382
1383Could the claw do that? It could! Of course it could… turning on the servos, I started giving her rotational speed even as the bottom of the vortex dropped away. Chrome rings melted into a vast well of purple light and waves of white. Through her camera, I could see into eternity… and the platform was moving down into it.
1384
1385We were far past out of time.
1386
1387Agonizingly slowly, the rotating bomb and platform seemed to slow down… as her spinning grew to match. I could hear her straining not to get sick or pass out… I knew her spinning had to be subjecting her to painfully high g forces, but she remained ready despite the crushing intensity. The purple below us imploded into bright white lines, and the illusionary corridor widened… and the platform, from our perspective, seemed to finally stop spinning.
1388
1389It even went the other direction a little bit, but I edged off the slightest bit of servo power, and she came back to even with it.
1390
1391"Open the claw," she shouted grimly, hardly able to speak against the tremendous pressure.
1392
1393"What? But you'll -"
1394
1395"There's no choice."
1396
1397I knew she was right, and I had to listen to her order, but… I still felt horrible and empty as I gave the final command. The claw opened.
1398
1399Despite the chaos, she dropped eerily straight down, and immediately fell across the top of the bomb to keep herself from falling off. With a swift motion, she oriented the four rods and shoved them down into interlocking access ports. I saw all this through her headset camera, and I saw her descending into an infinite tunnel from the crane camera… and I saw her heat signature disappear from the base map.
1400
1401"What do I do?" I asked her, at the last, the roaring crescendo reaching a final peak. "I can't get you with the crane…"
1402
1403"You might be on your own now, friend," she told me calmly, her strained and quiet voice oddly audible despite the storm. "I needed to go there anyway. Maybe - just maybe - they can help."
1404
1405"Who?" I cried.
1406
1407She sighed with worry, regret, and a dozen other unidentifiable emotions, her hands gripping white on the bars around the bomb. "I'm going home."
1408
1409In a flash, the tunnel compacted, swirled, and was gone.
1410
1411The platform remained - with nothing on it.
1412
1413Slowly, the entire configuration began powering down and resetting position, and I lifted the crane's claw lest I damage something. I did all this automatically, without thinking, because I could not think.
1414
1415I sat and processed what had happened for several minutes. I hadn't been there physically - I'd just been watching video and listening to audio and rooting through files - but I still felt as if I'd been through a life and death situation and only barely survived.
1416
1417I hadn't even had time to anticipate it... it had all just happened. Six minutes ago, she'd been standing on the edge, and, now, she was gone.
1418
1419Shaken, I got up, and took a walk around the office building. Outside, the same slithery creatures moved, and I watched them for a time, lost in thought.
1420
1421Who had she been? Who had she been trying to keep safe? She'd been searching for some people, she'd said, and that search had led her inward, to the inner shell of our protected realities… the silent sanctum at the center. Who might be able to help? The people she was looking for, or the people already there?
1422
1423Because there had to be people already there, I imagined… that was the part I couldn't quite grapple with. She was going home…
1424
1425And now I was alone. The darkness and seclusion hadn't hit me, not with full effect, until I stood standing there at the windows and realized I truly couldn't leave. The only friend I'd ever made was gone, and the portal she'd used to get to that underground complex…
1426
1427…was still open.
1428
1429Rushing back to the server room and my computer, I went through each and every option I had at my disposal in that distant base. Automated railcars in the tunnels, operational cranes, what else? Was there anything that could actually physically move something to her initial portal? There had seemed to be children on the other side in the brief glimpse I'd seen the other day… her family? That boy at the front…
1430
1431What would they think if she didn't come back?
1432
1433Something else occurred to me. The gigantic vortex device had to be able to pull things back as well as send. How else were men and equipment moved between realities? While I was still connected, could I use it to save myself? I could go there, then go through the portal she'd left open!
1434
1435Yes. The complex there had much more mapping and targeting capability, and I even found an approximation of the map I'd created by hand. Indeed, our entire bubble was a sphere of dozens of realities with an outer shell separating us from the rest of the multiverse, and an inner shell protecting one central world.
1436
1437The outer shell, on this map, was practically covered with warning symbols and alert signs. Numerous entire realities on the map were completely red. Had they been… destroyed? Were these the cracks the flame entity had spoken of? There were so many… what was holding back the darkness, save our lonely desolate guardians? Individuals enduring beyond all imagination, the most human of all, struggling to carry on at the walls…
1438
1439Haunted, I focused on finding my coordinates. The base already seemed to have my office on file, and I activated the machine with the new destination. Apparently, a portal would open for thirty seconds, and I would have a chance to step through.
1440
1441I watched through the crane cameras as the entire cycle spun up again. Four or five minutes later, I dared not hope as it declared the tunnel open and stable.
1442
1443Rushing out into the office building proper, I looked around for vast purple light - but found none. Racing around, I went through every room and hallway - and found nothing. Where was it?!
1444
1445I stopped in place as I finally sighted it.
1446
1447A dim purple haze emanated from the fog outside.
1448
1449Staring out the window, my hope shriveled. It was out there, with those slimy things… and getting out there would require breaking a window. If I tried to reach it, and failed, there would be no more safe haven.
1450
1451Despondent, I watched the purple expire, and then returned to my server room. I knew I couldn't ignore, for much longer, the growing likelihood that I was going to die in that room. Our little corner of the multiverse was falling apart, held together only by the threadbare hardships of quietly heroic human beings, and the only person trying to fix it had just disappeared into an unknown situation with an extremely dangerous bomb, leaving her kids behind and alone… and all I could think about was the slow process of starvation and loneliness I was about to face. I could protest and call for help all I wanted on the Internet, but nobody would believe me, and their mockery would only make it worse.
1452
1453And even if I made it out of here, the Crushing Fist, whatever it entailed, was coming for us - something bad enough that even ascendant living flames were scared of it. This new threat was approaching, and there was nobody left to stop the tide.
1454
1455If only I could do something… but being trapped here made that impossible… unless…
1456
1457I looked at the base's more complete map of realities again, and something hit me.
1458
1459I already knew what the Crushing Fist was. It was already here… it was already happening… had been happening for more than a year. The exact mechanism, agenda, or plot behind it was irrelevant. Humanity was under siege.
1460
1461And there was nobody left to stop the tide… meaning there was nobody watching me. I'd wondered why nobody had ever come to check up on my activities, even as I'd begun blatantly breaking into military networks. I was the only network manager left. The bases were empty. Lone survivors manned the walls.
1462
1463There was nobody left to fear.
1464
1465Suddenly full of excited hope, rather than despair, I logged into every network I could and implemented my plan.
1466
1467I was trapped here, but that didn't mean there weren't others out there like my only friend. There had to be other people out there who knew something of our situation, or who had minor capabilities we might cobble together, or who had artifacts in their possession like her device that talked to souls. There were nine hundred and twenty-four billion human beings alive between the inner and outer shells, by all accounts… we weren't done. Not yet.
1468
1469Alive with electricity, I decided to step out from my safe anonymity and do something for the first time in my life. That's what she'd been trying to tell me, I guessed: having something to care about meant taking risks, even unknowable risks with very little hope to cling to.
1470
1471I sent out the call.
1472
1473On every single network, in every single reality, on all the Internets and all the forums I could reach, I began posting. I was fiction. I was a joke. I was a scary story. I was an entertaining read. For some, I was nonsense.
1474
1475But some people would understand. Some people would see the elements at play, and some people would know I was serious. With nearly a trillion humans alive in our little walled city, even a one in a billion chance would net us nearly a thousand people. With all that just one had accomplished, what couldn't a thousand motivated and capable human beings handle?
1476
1477I wrote as many posts on as many different Internets as I could myself, and then made a script to continue on.
1478
1479And now… I wait.
1480
1481I scanned quickly through my messages. I had more than I could handle. Apparently, a great many people out there were facing dangers beyond mundane comprehension… and a great many people simply had active imaginations. It was my task to pick out the ones I thought were true and serious, and try to help.
1482
1483First up for the evening was a guy near the outer shell.
1484
1485Hey man, I read your stories, and I had a question for you. I found a pen knife out in the woods, stuck in the side of a cliff. I pulled it out, and I think it can cut through anything. Have you ever heard of anything like this? I’m really scared to tell anyone I have it, cause it’s so weird. I heard something out in the woods, too… I think somebody might be looking for it.
1486
1487I considered his question, but a search brought up nothing. He didn’t seem to be in immediate danger, and I had no way of knowing the strange object was real, so I moved on after noting the location and reality from which the message originated.
1488
1489nice story, man. You must be on some pretty good stuff. Remember that one story about red pills that turned you into a vampire or something? That was my favorite
1490
1491Alright… I did remember that story. Was this a hint at something? Or just a random message? I decided to move on again.
1492
1493I really don’t like what I’ve read here, the message said. I have a feeling I’m about to get sucked back in no matter how hard I resist.
1494
1495I immediately knew this person was something special. I wrote back: “Into what?”
1496
1497I’ve been running into these things my whole life.
1498
1499I checked - whoever it was, they were on one of the rare intact worlds on the outer shell itself.
1500
1501I don’t know if I make things happen, or just sense them, but I can literally seek them out and find them. The fear runs like threads through my awareness.
1502
1503That sounded like a very useful ability. Researching more, his world seemed more or less functional socially. Somehow or another, he’d avoided the fate that had befallen so many of the other outer shell worlds. Did his experiences have something to do with that? I asked: “Can you tell me more?”
1504
1505He simply linked me to stories he’d already written about his experiences.
1506
1507I scanned through them, intrigued. I'd seen them before, but it was strange to read them with a new understanding that they'd actually happened. “So you’re really a horror writer?”
1508
1509You’ve already read my stories? he responded. But, yes. It was only natural, given the background I have to work with. I try to stay aware of what’s going on, and something is very wrong with the world.
1510
1511"Yes, more than you know," I told him, sending him a map of the situation and all the information at my disposal. I was sure it would be some time before he digested it all and responded.
1512
1513As I began to move to the next message, an alert popped up, notifying me that the proximity systems had detected someone entering the building.
1514
1515Suddenly torn from my coordination efforts, I raced through all the files and feeds at my disposal. Who was in the building? How had they gotten here? I found a security camera, and saw a dozen humanoid forms moving through darkness.
1516
1517As they moved under a red EXIT sign, I saw them more clearly.
1518
1519They were the children I'd seen, briefly, on my friend's headset camera.
1520
1521They were the ones she'd had to leave behind.
1522
1523What were they doing here? Were they here to exact revenge for my role in her disappearance? They were armed…
1524
1525No, that didn't seem right. They were a bunch of kids, and a few teenagers. The oldest boy led at the front, a baseball bat in hand. It occurred to me that they wouldn't know anything about her disappearance. To them, she'd just never come back.
1526
1527But how had they found me? I thought it over… the dead sentient flame, speaking through the book, had said that one of those people was nearby, and then my friend had said the people we'd found trapped on the plant-God planet were beings of light disguised as humans. They'd sensed my activities on the computer. If she had one of them as an ally, had that ally followed my interactions with her to… here?
1528
1529That must have been it. Whoever it was, my signals to her had been a beacon, and they were coming to look for their protector.
1530
1531The eldest boy began hitting something that had been lying in the hall, and I stared at the security camera stream.
1532
1533My head hurt briefly, and my vision flickered. How long had I been working? I felt floaty and exhausted.
1534
1535If they were here, that meant they'd come through a portal. Was it still open? Of course it was! They wouldn't be coming in unless they had a way out… excited at the prospect of rescue, I activated the building's speakers. "Hello?"
1536
1537As one, the group of kids jumped.
1538
1539"Is that you?" the eldest asked, looking up and around 'til he noticed the security camera. "Where is she?"
1540
1541"She's gone," I replied sadly. "She didn't have much choice. There was a reality-fracturing bomb being sent out through a portal machine, and she had to stop it."
1542
1543He sighed. "That sounds like her."
1544
1545A few of the children lowered their heads, and one began crying.
1546
1547"Oh, oh no!" I said hurriedly. "She's not dead. She just went through another portal."
1548
1549"What? Where is she?!"
1550
1551"She said where she was going was… home," I told them. "That's all I know."
1552
1553The oldest boy looked around at his armed companions. "I don't like this. Go get the book."
1554
1555"What about the portal?" one asked.
1556
1557"It'll survive one or two transitions. This is important."
1558
1559Two kids ran back, and the oldest boy looked up at the camera again. "What happened here?"
1560
1561"I don't know," I told him. "I've been trapped here for weeks now. I'm in the server room right now. That's usually where I hole up."
1562
1563"Tell us how to get there."
1564
1565I gave them directions, and they moved through the halls, occasionally bashing dark objects strewn about the floor. I zoomed in on a few of the piles, trying to comprehend their shapes, but the feed was too fuzzy and the building too dark. Their flashlights arced around, making contrast higher and vision difficult.
1566
1567"Is there still any danger?" one kid asked, looking up at another camera.
1568
1569"Only outside," I replied. "Don't break the windows. There are slimy weird things out there. Don't get too close, and don't let them see you."
1570
1571The kids looked around warily, but there were no windows near them. They proceeded down dark, cramped hallways, leaving marks on the walls to record their way, and heading toward my location.
1572
1573"That's it!" I practically shouted, seeing them come up to the heavy server room door. They studied the same odd metal frame that I had studied some weeks before.
1574
1575"You sure this is safe?"
1576
1577"Yeah, I go in and out all the time."
1578
1579The eldest pushed it open with his foot… and then proceeded into rainbow-lit gloom and heat. I saw him enter through my security camera feed, but he must have been moving quietly out of caution. Where was he in the room?
1580
1581"I'm inside," I heard him shout, through the camera feed. "I don't see you."
1582
1583"I'm right here," I replied, looking around. "Where are you?"
1584
1585"Dude. There's nobody in here. What are you doing?"
1586
1587"I'm right here!" I said again, moving to the server room door. "I -"
1588
1589Nobody stood outside. The hallway was the same, but the kids weren't there.
1590
1591I couldn't see the security camera feed from here, but I guessed what it might show.
1592
1593Dejected, I returned to the computer. "It must be the wrong reality… I was worried that would be the case. I'm trapped somewhere that's a copy of there."
1594
1595"That sucks. Hold on." I watched as he re-entered the hallway to meet two returning kids. In their hands was an extremely convoluted device that had an enormous number of metallic moving blades, gears, and pipes.
1596
1597I zoomed in, curious.
1598
1599The eldest boy took it from them, holding it by two pipes, his fingers narrowly avoiding the gears and blades. He manipulated pieces of it, his eyes blank. "Tell me about the man in the server room." After a minute or two, he lifted his head, his breathing ragged with fear. "We have to leave right now."
1600
1601"Wait, what?" I asked.
1602
1603The kids ignored me and bolted back through the halls, following their marks and jumping over the dark misshapen piles on the floor. Terrified that I'd lose my only hope of rescue, I closed an automatic security door in their path. "Come on! What's going on?"
1604
1605Instead of answering, most just started screaming. They began to run, too, but they were stopped by a thrust-out arm.
1606
1607The eldest glared up at me. "Let us go."
1608
1609"Tell me what's happening! I'm stuck here, please. What did that weird metal thing tell you?"
1610
1611"Weird metal thing?" He looked down at the device in his hands. "The book?"
1612
1613Confused, I echoed him. "What book?"
1614
1615He looked back up at me. "You see this thing the way it really is?"
1616
1617"What does that mean?"
1618
1619"I saw this thing the way it really was, and… apparently, I started bleeding out the eyes. I don't remember, because I went into seizures. So how can you look at it and see it for real?"
1620
1621I opened the door, not really intent on scaring or holding the kids. "I don't know…"
1622
1623They ran further down the hallway, and then turned into a side room where my cameras could not see.
1624
1625The eldest remained for a moment longer. "Man, you gotta wake up. Somethin's wrong with you. I appreciate what you did with all the help, but I think you gotta help yourself now."
1626
1627Confused and terrified, I watched him go.
1628
1629I sat for a time, processing. It was true what he'd said: a great many things about my situation didn't make sense. I'd always felt a certain logic to my imprisonment, hovering somewhere outside the grasp of my facts at hand, but I'd always had an aversion to thinking too deeply about it. What if I found out something horrible? What if I lost all hope?
1630
1631While I considered these questions, I looked at the next message I had.
1632
1633It was from a man who had a problem with something dark lurking in his neighborhood… something the people there had been wary of for a very long time. Just like everyone else, his problems had been growing worse over the last year, and now he needed to get inside the dark heart of the place. The strange thing was, the threat had already been there for quite some time. He, too, was on an outer shell world… most of my most concerning messages were from out there.
1634
1635He was also on the same world as the person who had sent the pen knife message… odd.
1636
1637"So you can't get inside?" I wrote. "I happen to have gotten a message from a guy about three hours' drive from you. He stumbled across a pen knife that seems to be able to cut through things it shouldn't."
1638
1639A pen knife? he asked.
1640
1641"I can't verify it myself. You'll have to go in person. Here's the address."
1642
1643He took it with cautious thanks.
1644
1645I went through a few more, and then stopped, feeling a sense of despair overtake my need to help out.
1646
1647It was surprising how hard it was to do any work when only one thought dominated my mind: where was I?
1648
1649I had eyes and ears everywhere, but I couldn't get anywhere at all.
1650
1651If I was in a very special pocket reality, one that was important for the running of the vast network, then I was in serious trouble.
1652
1653For a time, I wandered around my building, studying the details. People still screamed when I picked up the phone, and the electricity still worked, and there was still food in the fridge to last a while… I stood at the window and gazed out, risking notice to try to study the slimy creatures out in the fog. As I watched, I saw one go by with a bear carcass in its grip.
1654
1655I froze.
1656
1657One bear carcass had been noteworthy… but two?
1658
1659Seized by a sudden suspicion, I ran to a nearby cubicle, grabbed a metal chair, and smashed it hard against the window over and over again. A crack formed, and then spread, urged along by my violent bashings.
1660
1661Finally, the entire glass pane went opaque. The next hit shattered it.
1662
1663I stared beyond - at a rock wall.
1664
1665I was… underground.
1666
1667It was all fake.
1668
1669I was just like that lonely soul whose first message I'd found. I was underground, and there was no way out.
1670
1671Running around the office building, which I now knew to be deep under the earth, I smashed random things into pieces. My efforts were cathartic, in a way. I'd tried to keep everything normal and untouched, in some subconscious effort to continue a feeling of normalcy, but now I knew that nobody was ever coming back here.
1672
1673I'd been abandoned.
1674
1675I'd been left behind, just like the men and women on the walls.
1676
1677I was alone, just like all those poor people messaging me about the terrors working their way deeper into the realms of man.
1678
1679Anger faded into frantic terror, and I began searching for the way I'd gotten in here in the first place. An elevator? Perhaps the odd server room door was part of a non-obvious lift mechanism. I found nothing, but the idea remained. Was there an elevator somewhere in this place?
1680
1681What did I remember about showing up for work, before I got trapped here?
1682
1683I slept during the day, so my trip into work was always a groggy blur… and I hadn't seen the sun in longer than I could remember… except for that one shining day of training.
1684
1685How had I entered the building on that day?
1686
1687Nope. The front doors were fake, too. I broke them, then climbed out and slumped against the cool rock wall, wracking my brain.
1688
1689I'd seen the purple glow of a portal opening outside the windows when I'd activated that massive facility's portal machine. What had that been? My goddamn imagination? There had to be some link with the surface office building duplicate that the kids had just been in.
1690
1691I returned to the spot where I'd witnessed the foggy purple glow. The windows there remained intact. Lifting a chair, and fearing what I would find, I broke the glass.
1692
1693Beyond I saw… a tunnel!
1694
1695Stepping out over the glass, I rushed down it… and found a wide circular scorched section of cave wall, where the portal had appeared. At least, that's what I imagined it to be… which meant that I'd stayed inside the glass out of pointless fear. I'd missed my one shot at escape.
1696
1697Above all else, that discovery broke me.
1698
1699I returned to the server room in a daze.
1700
1701"I'm going to die down here," I said aloud, to nobody in particular.
1702
1703And I knew it to be true… unless…
1704
1705I began to respond to my messages with a new energy. I wasn't done, not at all! Someone out there had to have an ability, a device, or knowledge that might get me out. After all, if I'd almost escaped once before, I could do it again - and, this time, I knew a little bit more about my situation.
1706
1707And there were people in need, too. All over the place, creatures were roaming the woods, entities were stalking people, loved ones were exhibiting odd behavior, neighbors were disappearing, and bad luck was rampant. It overwhelmed me, at first, seeing the sheer range and volume of problems, but it hit me: I had the information, I had the communication, and that meant none of us were alone.
1708
1709I started responding to every single message, giving people what info I could find, and putting them in contact with those around them who had also clued in.
1710
1711Then, the author I'd been talking to responded once more. He finally sent back: This is a very grim situation. What do we do?
1712
1713"First, I'd like to get out of here," I wrote him. "I'm trapped." I explained my situation as thoroughly as I could.
1714
1715Those are some very odd happenings, he wrote back. I'm not sure you have all the pieces of the puzzle yet, as they don't quite fit together in a way that makes sense. Although, I know for sure how you can get out of there.
1716
1717"What? How?!"
1718
1719No matter how bad things are, you can always make them worse. What you need is a sudden serious problem. Then, while thinking quickly and trying to survive, you'll have a chance to turn that problem into an opportunity. In your case, an opportunity to escape.
1720
1721"That doesn't seem logical. How would making my situation worse help me get out of here?"
1722
1723We live in strange times. Existence follows certain trends. In a sense, there's a grim fairness about it. If you do nothing, you die. If you risk it all, you've at least got a shot. That's a rule.
1724
1725"And if the shot doesn't work out?"
1726
1727Then you die anyway. But isn't a slim chance better than none at all?
1728
1729He was right.
1730
1731And, in fact, I had dozens of Internets at my disposal. I could find the right threat, tailored to my situation, and try to use that threat to escape. Were there any creatures that used portals to move around? Were there any dark entities I could make a deal with? I began my search of the stories online. It quickly became apparent that those with specific intents usually sought out a certain type of ritual.
1732
1733What I needed was a Game… and someone with the power to make it real.
1734
1735"Do you know of any Games that might help me?" I asked my author contact.
1736
1737Hmm… I've never really gotten into Game stories, but here's how I imagine an actual real one might work…
1738
1739I memorized everything he told me, and I began searching the office building for the proper supplies. It was a shot in the dark, and incredibly risky… but, as he'd said, it was better than doing nothing and dying here alone.
1740
1741If a soul was a thing; or, at least, if a mind was a thing, then there had to be more to existence than the physical spatial dimensions we saw. What was a mind? Why were humans self-aware, and animals not? I'd read stories of a creature that could cut away and eat a person's self-awareness, turning them into walking biological machines that talked, ate, laughed, and watched movies… but with nobody inside, not for real. If that existed, then a mind must be a real thing.
1742
1743And if minds were real things, there was a dimension or plane where they existed. They were something, somewhere.
1744
1745And if they were something, somewhere… then there might be other things there, too.
1746
1747I sat in a dark, quiet corner of the building, a single candle lit in front of me, and a pad of paper and a pen on hand. These were not necessary for the Game, but they might help me focus, and then remember. I'd been instructed not to bother with mirrors, or pentagrams, or blood, or any other human physical or mental fear. Human concerns didn't matter for something like this…
1748
1749Sitting in place, senses dark, I thought a single word: aware.
1750
1751I thought it again, repeatedly: aware, aware, aware, aware…
1752
1753I made the thought louder. AWARE, AWARE, AWARE…
1754
1755I began shouting it in my mind. AWARE. AWARE. AWARE.
1756
1757I kept screaming the same word in my mind, from my mind, over and over. Fear of actually attracting attention held me back, but fear of dying here pushed me past an intrinsic barrier.
1758
1759For each repetition, I envisioned the words as louder than the chant before them, the volume ever-increasing, until I was sure I was shouting throughout an entire mental universe.
1760
1761I kept this up even as a feeling of impending doom swept over me. Again, I might have stopped… but survival instinct kept me going.
1762
1763Then, eight minutes and seven seconds after I'd begun, it happened.
1764
1765I opened my eyes and looked out.
1766
1767A shadowed face flickered beyond the candle's flame, shifting shade dancing across darker darkness. It wasn't really here, and I wasn't really looking. I understood that… but I still felt a chill seize me.
1768
1769It smiled hungrily, its teeth a row of jagged voids barring infinite blackness. Congratulations, you've attracted attention.
1770
1771I had nothing to offer it, and nothing to keep me safe. As the author had told me, human rituals were probably useless in the face of entities that existed beyond the physical realms. I knew there were other realities that I could travel to, if I had the means, but this thing was from somewhere else entirely. But, as my contact had also informed me, all things followed logic in at least some sense. My only hope was that some part of its value system overlapped with ours.
1772
1773"Wait," I thought aloud. "It's important that I talk to you."
1774
1775It always is, it whispered back, its empty eyes icy. None of you ever want to be consumed. How short-sighted of you.
1776
1777I didn't ask what it meant by that, and I didn't want to know. "Are you aware of what's happening? Are you aware of the Crushing Fist?"
1778
1779It hissed softly, but did not kill me or consume me or anything else. It waited. I assumed that meant it was at least open to my proposal, and that the Crushing Fist meant something to it.
1780
1781"I… want to work with you, or make some sort of deal with you. I need to get out of here. I need to be able to help others of my kind more directly, or we're all in trouble."
1782
1783Something behind it moved, and I realized… the vague humanoid shape before my awareness was a front. The real entity behind it lay shrouded in darkness, both massive and elegant at the same time. I dared not look directly for fear of offending it.
1784
1785You have no idea what you're up against, it finally replied. But I envy your ignorance. You scramble ever forward, like bugs in mud, like fivhen in squuar. You don't even stop when you're already doomed, dead, or vwaal. That obstinance is, likely, the only organic trait worthy of mention.
1786
1787"So you'll help me?" I asked, confused.
1788
1789It grinned again, its mock shadowed face stretching horribly. Didn't you hear me? You're already vwaal. You cannot be helped. You should do yourself a favor and allow me to consume you. I am experiencing pity for your pathetic situation, so I will allow you the choice, rather than force it upon you.
1790
1791"Um… no thank you."
1792
1793So be it.
1794
1795A non-light flared behind its massive shadow-form, and I prepared to scream as I caught a glimpse of what it really looked like. The shape, the size, the complexity - it was absolutely -
1796
1797I fell backwards as if struck, suddenly ejected from the realms of the mind, and I hurried to write down what had been said before it faded like shreds of a dream on waking fog.
1798
1799Then, I tried to draw it.
1800
1801What had I… I'd seen it, but… the image… was gone…
1802
1803Sitting on the floor, I let myself wallow in despair for a while. Even shadow entities from the realms of the mind couldn't help me… unless I'd fallen asleep, and dreamed the whole thing.
1804
1805Despondent, I returned to my computer, and began half-heartedly responding to calls for help again.
1806
1807I'm intent on helping as many as I can before I starve to death down here… but who is going to help me?
1808
1809Haven’t heard from you in a few days, the message said. Are you alright?
1810
1811I stared at the two sentences for quite some time, failing to comprehend that they were actually meant for me. I’d been answering messages, coordinating responses, and watching the worlds burn for so many uninterrupted hours… I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten, or slept, or even taken a walk around my office building prison.
1812
1813They’d tried to destroy themselves. Or, someone had tried to destroy them from the inside out. I’d spent eleven hours breaking into a military mainframe to shut off a nuclear launch countdown gone awry. Who was in charge on that world? Why had they tried to detonate all of their nuclear weapons? I was still getting messages from people there, all desperate for help against black transmorphic spheres that kept evolving new defenses against anything used against them - black transmorphic spheres that liked to stab people through the skull and then take up residence inside. Were these the brain-eaters Jonathan had mentioned? Or were they a new threat?
1814
1815Somebody high up had panicked, and started a twelve-hour countdown to global suicide.
1816
1817I’d managed to turn it off… with four minutes to spare.
1818
1819Haven't heard from you in a few days. I stared at the two sentences that had been meant for me in particular. Are you alright?
1820
1821I had no way of knowing - had the writer of the first message I’d read, the man trapped eleven thousand feet underground with the fate of the world at his fingertips, been the one to start that countdown? Had he seen what was happening on the surface and given up?
1822
1823I didn’t think so. The military mainframe I’d gotten into hadn’t been nearly as secure and high-tech as the encryption of his message had implied. Most nuclear arsenals on human worlds had been built during the Cold War - an era they’d all shared - and the technology was equally as outdated, often scarily so.
1824I stared at the two sentences that had been sent with concern for me, something nobody else had really been shown during my efforts. They had their own situations to worry about, and their own homes to defend.
1825
1826My author contact had remembered that there was a person behind the screen.
1827
1828“The candle I lit during the Game started a fire,” I wrote back slowly. “I watched it burn out a couple rooms, until the sprinklers took care of it.”
1829
1830Oh… wow, I’m sorry.
1831
1832“It’s fine. I kind of wanted it to take this whole place down. I’ve smashed all the windows, flattened half the cubicles, and trashed all the pictures my coworkers left behind.”
1833
1834Are you losing it?
1835
1836I sighed. I was considering lying, but, as I watched my map, the circle I'd thought I'd saved went red. Connection lost. I stared at it for maybe thirty seconds, too numb to feel anything. Had I missed something? Had I made some error? Had they overridden my shutdown? We'd actually lost one. We'd actually lost an entire world while I'd watched. The sheer size and complexity of the defense efforts had practically guaranteed somebody would slip through the cracks eventually, but I hadn't… thought about how it would actually feel to realize, finally, that it was a losing battle, a battle of attrition that we could not win… a crushing fist of intense stress squeezed my awareness, and I felt like bursting.
1837
1838Was I losing it? “Yes.”
1839
1840I’ve been thinking about your situation. I enjoy puzzles, and you’ve got the mother of all puzzles on your hands. We're going to think you out of this situation.
1841
1842"Alright…" For some reason, I actually believed there was hope. He seemed sensible, and a fresh perspective might see things I couldn't.
1843
1844Let's start with the basics, then. Do you have hands?
1845
1846"What?"
1847
1848Do you have hands? Simple question.
1849
1850I looked down… at my outstretched hands, fingers poised over my keyboard. "Yes."
1851
1852Are you breathing?
1853
1854I suddenly became aware of my own breathing as my chest rose and fell.
1855
1856What about your eyes? Are you blinking?
1857
1858If I hadn't been before, I certainly was after thinking about it. "Damnit, stop," I said, annoyed at suddenly having all sorts of bodily functions brought to my awareness.
1859
1860So we can reasonably guess you're alive, right?
1861
1862I froze. "You think I might be dead?"
1863
1864Well, no. From what you told me, that mind-entity used a different word to describe you. In a way, it specifically listed doomed and dead as things that you were not.
1865
1866"So I'm not dead…" Aware of them as I was, I took a moment to widen my eyes with surprise. "And I'm not doomed!"
1867
1868Right. You're vwaal, whatever that is. If you're not dead, then you're not a ghost, or a spirit, or some other nonsense. If you're not doomed, there's still hope for you yet, in some small amount. And you drew the attention of that entity by thinking very loudly, so you've got a real mind.
1869
1870"Of course I've got a mind," I responded, typing the words out on my keyboard. I stretched my hands, suddenly aware that they must be tired from my endless days of working.
1871
1872I said a real mind, my author contact wrote. I suspected, from the details of your situation, that you might be an artificial intelligence. Possibly a backup system, since you don't mention anything prior to a few weeks ago.
1873
1874Still consciously aware of my body, I swallowed uncomfortably. He thought I might be an artificial intelligence? A computer? I blinked, and clenched my hands. I felt floaty and disconnected at times, trapped here in the dark for so long, but I knew I was alive. I knew it.
1875
1876Which brings me to my next question, he continued. How long have you been working there?
1877
1878"Two or three years," I replied. "I remember it well."
1879
1880Right, that bright day of training.
1881
1882I frowned.
1883
1884Where do you live?
1885
1886I looked down at my hands for a moment. "An apartment on the west side."
1887
1888Alright… hmm.
1889
1890I waited for two minutes until his next question arrived. I wondered why he was asking about me rather than my situation.
1891
1892Here's one that might disturb you: what's your name?
1893
1894I laughed. "It's -"
1895
1896My mouth hung in place, open at the end of its last fading syllable.
1897
1898I was worried this might be the case, he wrote slowly. It's not just the building, and your coworkers. There's something wrong with you, too. He paused again, probably thinking. Do you have a personnel file?
1899
1900"Maybe," I said, struggling to remember my own name. "But without my name, I wouldn't know who to look for…"
1901
1902Frustrating, isn't it? Perhaps by design. Now there's one detail I've been hesitant to mention as yet. You're not going to enjoy it.
1903
1904"What is it? Tell me. I have to get out of here."
1905
1906Alright… it's the phones. You said there were people screaming on the phones.
1907
1908"Yes…"
1909
1910We have a tendency, as people, to dehumanize traumatizing things like that. I don't know how often I've read stories where strange screaming is used as a background scary detail. But, you know what? A scream requires a person behind it. Someone conscious, awake, and in pain.
1911
1912I let my face go slack as I realized the truth of what he was saying.
1913
1914I suspect you're not alone there at all. I hate to say this, but your salvation may lie in the most basic of all horror questions: who was phone?
1915
1916I gave the message a long - and deserved - dour look.
1917
1918Then, I jumped up, and ran out of the server room. Heading for one of the cubicle farms I hadn't destroyed in one of my despairing rages, I brought a landline phone down from a desk and sat in front of it, steeling myself. Alright, let's do this…
1919
1920The screaming began the instant the phone left the hook.
1921
1922Heart racing - I was so aware of it, I felt it in my head - I lifted the phone to my ear. My ear, too, seemed very vivid to me, running chill with the office air conditioning. I began experiencing a drilling pain as I brought the screams close, but I fought through the pain. "Hello?"
1923
1924The screams changed tenor and tone, briefly, as if the people in pain had heard me.
1925
1926"Hello?" I shouted.
1927
1928A choir of agonized shouts turned toward me, in an aural sense, and I almost recoiled. "Shut up! Just shut up!" I screamed back at them. "One at a time!"
1929
1930I caught my breath as they went silent.
1931
1932One voice - hollow, trembling, and pained - asked a single word. "Heath?"
1933
1934My entire head suddenly tingled with fire and electricity. A flood of images and associations washed through me, too much to comprehend, and I smiled haggardly at the cubicle wall.
1935
1936Heath. Heath, from I.T. - had the weeks trapped here in the dark, alone, made me temporarily forget? "Yes, it's me," I said into the phone, suddenly acutely aware that I'd found something else very important. "What's going on?"
1937
1938"Oh my God, oh my God," said an unknown woman whose voice I thought I vaguely recognized. "You're still there. We thought we'd lost you. Heath, where've you been?"
1939
1940The first man's voice added to hers. "Heath! Are you alright?"
1941
1942"Am I alright?" I asked, growing confused. "You're the ones screaming!"
1943
1944A moment of silence echoed loudly between us.
1945
1946"He doesn't know," a teenage male voice said, almost sadly.
1947
1948"Where do you think you are, Heath?" asked a wise, slow, and older voice.
1949
1950A second woman commented, too, her voice overlapping with the other speakers. "Heath, you have to wake up."
1951
1952That drilling pain from the screams had lingered in my forehead, and now seemed to intensify, forcing me to wince. That's what the eldest boy had said to me a few days ago: Man, you gotta wake up. Somethin's wrong with you. What was I missing? What part of me remained shorn away, as if I lay dreaming?
1953
1954"We've been trapped like this for over a year," the first male voice said again, his words evincing the growing pain of that imprisonment. "Heath, you have to end this."
1955
1956I thought back to the piles I'd seen on the security feeds. Why had the children battered them with weapons? It was obvious, now that I thought about it: they were ensuring, out of a sense of anything-goes precaution, that they would not be attacked by zombies. Hadn't their protector - my only friend - told them that zombies weren't real?
1957
1958I supposed it might never have come up in casual conversation.
1959
1960I knew who the voices on the phone were. "You're my coworkers."
1961
1962"Yes."
1963
1964I sat for a moment, just feeling my breathing, before I said it aloud: "You're dead."
1965
1966"Not quite," the man answered. "But we'd like to be."
1967
1968"We've all agreed," the first woman chimed in, almost hopeful and relieved. "This is no existence."
1969
1970I lolled my head back and stared up at the ceiling. My disbelieving gaze followed the white square patterns above. "You're vwaal…"
1971
1972"Where did you hear that word?" the old male voice snapped. "No matter. You have to snap out of whatever's wrong with you, and end this. You have to kill us."
1973
1974"No," I sobbed and laughed. "I'm alone. I'm alone. I can save you. Maybe -"
1975
1976"Nobody's coming, are they?" the second female voice asked. "I've got my son here. There are children here, trapped with us. It was bring your kid to work day. If God exists, he's a bastard for this."
1977
1978"Keep it together, Marjorie," the older male said. "We've got to get Heath to kill us, or who knows how many years we'll spend like this? The nuclear reactors could power this place for centuries."
1979
1980"God, why? Why?"
1981
1982"Heath -"
1983
1984"Mom, is that the guy?"
1985
1986"Heath!"
1987
1988I clamped my eyes shut as they began shouting at me. "Tell me what's happening," I insisted, repeating my words until they stopped clamoring.
1989
1990Finally, the first male voice spoke to me again. "Heath, where do you think you are?"
1991
1992"I'm in a cubicle right now… I can't get out of the building… and the whole place is underground…"
1993
1994"I see. Is there a server room?"
1995
1996"Yes, I work there."
1997
1998"Good. You need to go there and look around. I believe it will be behind your desk, on the wall. Please, hurry. There is nothing more maddening and painful than being awake, aware, and helpless every single second of every single day."
1999
2000I lowered the phone back into place, my eyes functioning, but my gaze unseeing. Blankly, I got up and walked back to the server room. I moved through the server stacks, enjoying the breezes from their fans on my skin. I approached my desk, but did not sit. Instead, I looked at the wall.
2001
2002It was right there - it had been there the whole time. I'd been aware of the poster on my wall, but never looked at it, never comprehended it. It had just… been there. There were a dozen other posters in a dozen other cubicles and break rooms I had never looked at, either.
2003
2004READING THIS? it asked.
2005
2006If you're reading this poster, then something has gone terribly wrong. Undoubtedly, you feel trapped, scared, and/or confused. It's important that you calm down and understand your situation.
2007
2008First: provisions have been made for this situation. You are not trapped here.
2009
2010Second: you are not being held against your will.
2011
2012Third: you are not dead.
2013
2014Proceed inside.
2015
2016I felt weak as I read it, and nearly fell; I caught myself with a hand to the wall. The smooth white paneling felt cool to the touch. How many new sensations had I felt since the author had made me aware of my body? So strange, that I'd been oblivious to so much…
2017
2018…including a door, apparently.
2019
2020There was a door in the wall that I'd never bothered to think about.
2021
2022Right next to the poster sat a nondescript white door.
2023
2024Pushing through, I found myself in a vast rectangular space designed to look much like a server room - except this one was white - startlingly white, bright, and clean. Large white cubes sat at regular intervals. Each had a monitor set into the side, and I moved from one to the next, watching individuals I began to recognize as coworkers as they moved around blank white rooms much like the one I was moving through.
2025
2026As I passed one, a haggard-looking man with a foot-long peppered beard leapt up to the feed. His voice came in quietly over the speaker. "Heath?"
2027
2028I faced the monitor. "You can see me?"
2029
2030"We've been screaming to try to get your attention for months," he breathed, clutching the camera with an overjoyed grin. "Or, at least, that's why we started…"
2031
2032"What is this?" I asked.
2033
2034"You don't know?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. "How much do you remember?"
2035
2036"Bits and pieces," I said, shaking my head. "I feel… scrambled. I've been spending most of my time here alone, coordinating local defenses against the Crushing Fist."
2037
2038He stared at me for a moment, and, then, his eyes softened. "I suppose that's an appropriate name for it." He looked to his right. "Heath, we need you to turn us off."
2039
2040"Why can't I just save you?" I asked, frustrated to the point of near-crying.
2041
2042"You always want to help. If all else fails, you still keep going. That's why I knew we could count on you. That's also why it'll be hard to accept this: we died, buddy. We died over a year ago." He gave a long sigh. "We didn't have much time when the shit hit the fan here, so we tried to upload our consciousnesses to the system. I mean, it worked… but without bodies, without admin rights, and with nobody coming back to save us, we just managed to create our own private hell."
2043
2044I frowned, full of heat and anger and frustration and confusion and anguish. "But the poster says I'm not dead…"
2045
2046"You're not," he laughed. "By we I meant us. The forty-eight of us that worked here. We're just computer simulations, now. You're not like us."
2047
2048I almost didn't want to accept the faint sliver of hope growing inside me. "I'm still alive?"
2049
2050"Of course, buddy. I sealed you off so you'd be safe. Last thing I ever did… if I'm really me, that is."
2051
2052I took a deep breath and stilled my heart. "What do I do?"
2053
2054"There's a switch at the back of the room. I can almost see it from here. Maddening, right? Just turn it off. The blue one. That'll kill the processing power for all of us. We're probably eating up most of the system resources. Then… the green and red switches are for you." He smiled sadly. "If you want out."
2055
2056I walked past them in a surreal fog, watching each of my former coworkers rage, cry, and rock back and forth in their blank prisons. Had they been here, screaming, the whole time? Of course they had… and I'd been oblivious… for some reason…
2057
2058I looked back.
2059
2060They each watched me from their monitors, praying, laughing, and cheering. I remembered each one, only now, as if their faces had emerged from haze.
2061
2062I flicked the blue switch.
2063
2064The monitors went dark one by one, and the room first got louder as exuberant shouts filled the air, and then quieter, as those voices went dark.
2065
2066In a few moments, I was alone.
2067
2068What he'd said had been right: they'd been using a tremendous amount of processing power. As soon as the last monitor faded to black, a rush of energy and awareness hit me. I could suddenly remember… everything. The fog was gone. The haze had lifted. My brain felt sharp and aware for the first time in months.
2069
2070And I suddenly knew, for a fact, that I was not an artificial intelligence, and I was not dead.
2071
2072I was alive!
2073
2074This, and a thousand other things, I suddenly knew.
2075
2076I faced the green switch and the red switch, and regarded the two posters above them.
2077
2078I slipped the helmet off and blinked with my real eyes for the first time in over a year. My arms cracked and snapped as I moved them under my own willpower. I could see electro-stimulators that had exercised my muscles during my long sleep, and I carefully pulled IV tubes out from my forearms before removing the stimulator patches.
2079
2080Climbing up from the chair, I immediately fell to cold, smooth marble, and I remained there for a time, enjoying real breathing and real sensations.
2081
2082The underground office building had been a simulated environment. I knew that now. Human brains weren't designed for direct access to the network, and the false environment had served as an interface. The building had been locked down, not to trap me, but because nobody had designed anything beyond it.
2083
2084I was still in the white room - the real version this time, behind the sealed door the eldest boy could not possibly have opened when the children had come here. If only he'd gone one room further, he would have found me… asleep, my mind adrift in the network… but he couldn't have gone further, because my work buddy had sealed me in to protect me.
2085
2086And I'd have been fine, even then, if the forty-eight other minds hadn't used up so many resources that I'd forgotten myself.
2087
2088Staggering onto uncertain footing, I moved along the walls, clutching my way toward the exit. It opened at my touch, and I found myself in the server room again - the real one, this time.
2089
2090I could even see the messages I'd received and written open on the monitor. My experiences had been real, they'd just been… virtual.
2091
2092Clambering through the rainbow-lit darkness of the racks themselves, I reached the odd heavy metal door to the server room. I knew what it was now that my mind was my own: it used a special array of static generators to keep dust out of the room. That was it. It wasn't a portal, or an elevator, or anything else I'd theorized.
2093
2094I took a moment of silence as I found the bodies in the hallways.
2095
2096I'd been under when it'd happened, so I didn't know what threat had killed them all, but I'd seen my only friend's swarm of children storm through here a few days before, so I knew the threat must have departed by now.
2097
2098Stumbling to the nearest break room, I raided a fridge. Our food at this facility was designed to last, and last it had. I broke some into frozen chunks and stuffed it in my mouth, relishing the burn, and then I left some out to thaw.
2099
2100After a few minutes spent gathering strength, I made a journey to the windows.
2101
2102Outside, across the parking lot, lay a bombed-out building I recognized. The cars in the lot had been trashed and devastated in various ways, and I saw a few bodies lying on the pavement. Is this what the children would have seen, had they ventured near a window? Oh, the comedy of errors that had kept the truth from me for so long…
2103
2104I returned to my desk in the server room after a time. My world was gone. Everyone I'd known was dead… but all I felt was relief. These things were still foggy to me, after so long absent from my mind, and I was just happy to be free and alive.
2105
2106I found it sublimely hilarious, and I couldn't quite describe why: even in the midst of terror and imprisonment, I'd sat at a virtual recreation of this desk, and helped people. Now, with the ability to go anywhere - and no living world to actually go to - I was still going to sit here, survive on company food, and do my job.
2107
2108Because I wanted to help. I felt like I was part of something.
2109
2110There were people that needed me… not because I was some hero. Far from it. I just happened to be a guy on a computer, in the know, at a time when knowledge was everything.
2111
2112Sighing and shaking my head with a smile, I returned to my messages.
2113
2114"I got out," I wrote to my author contact - no, my author friend. "I'm out!"
2115
2116What are you talking about? he asked.
2117
2118"I was connected to the system in an immersive virtual reality chair, complete with intravenous nutrition and electro-stimulators. Someone put thought into serious long-term uses for that chair."
2119
2120Heath, I don't understand.
2121
2122"Wait, how do you know my name?" I wrote, confused. "I never told you. I only just remembered."
2123
2124You said you found out what happened to you, and you sounded like you were having a complete breakdown. You said you were dying from a terminal illness, and wanted to help people, so you volunteered. You said the posters told you that you were surgically removed from your body and kept alive as a brain in a medical vat, to serve as the most capable, loyal, and unhackable network processing center possible. You said they left you two switches: one red, to kill you, and free you, once you wanted out… and one green, to erase your personal memories so that you could keep working without the pain of knowing your situation.
2125
2126My stomach twisted up in a knot. "I said that? God, is that true? Am I just a brain in a vat somewhere in the building?" A horrific sense of terror began swelling up through me. "Did I really say that?!" I checked through my logs for the past hour, but they'd been deleted… because of the AI shutdowns? I couldn't be sure… I couldn't be sure! Was I just like those men, women, and children I'd just freed? If the green switch removed my personal memories, and left my skills intact… God, how many times had this happened? How many times had I used the green switch because I…
2127
2128…because I'd wanted to help out…
2129
2130He didn't respond for several minutes, probably watching me panic. At long last, he wrote: Oh, no. I'm just messing with you. I'm a horror author, remember? I think up the worst possible scenarios all the time.
2131
2132The panic drained out of me, replaced by a burgeoning sense of relief and purpose. "Lord, not funny. That is not funny at all."
2133
2134Sorry. I guess I couldn't resist such a good prank.
2135
2136Remembering that I had a headset here in the real world that could dictate my spoken words and allow me to interact from anywhere in the building, I donned it and spoke into it. "You got me good. I was freaking out for a moment, there."
2137
2138Yep, got you good.
2139
2140He paused, and I waited, expectant. Damn good joke...
2141
2142Quite a few strange happenings in my hometown the past few days, he finally wrote. I could use some assistance.
2143
2144I smiled at my monitor. "Absolutely. How can I help?"
2145
2146The end...