9GEFqcET

1Whoa... so hard
2Jews is never supposed to go ham, but fuck it
3Okay dat boy D I C K Y ballin
4I been spitting hella writtens cause I'm fittna get ma wallet good
5Bitches know I holla good
6Graduated college with a bag of fucking honors but instead of making dollars
7I been acting like a kiddd
8Rapping bout ma fucking dickkk
9And what started as a joke became the hottest fucking shit
10Killin bitches Michael Vickin women, you know what dis is
11Semi colons in ma texts ma instant message game is sick ho
12Fuck that shit, when I rub that bitch
13When I be up in the club I gotta tuck that dick
14When I bring a chicken back, and then I fuck that bitch
15I'm a cum quick, I ain't playin witcha
16Ay you kno, I'm spittin crack up on the track,
17I'm not attacking all you blacks
18Who try to rap, but I'm just sayin that
19I'm coming for these muthafuckin brothas makin money
20Errybody love the funny little buddy makin jams now
21Ladies get dem pants down
22Sorry to my God and my synoguge and my mom because this kike is goin ham now
23I ain't on that kosher shit
24Facebook I be poking chicks
25Came up in the 90's yeah I'm on some hocus pocus shit
26Ion't push a lotus, I'm drivin a fuckin focus
27But notice that I got the coldest and dopest designer sodas
28I'm an izze sippin, biddie kissin muthafuckin G
29The way cum on chickens, call lil dicky mozzarella cheese
30I'm getting pussy, getting bread, I get a lot of fucking yeast
31And I been dustin diamonds off they bout to call lil dicky screech whoa
32Tampon shit
33Cause I rap for da flow
34And I get a lotta bitches when I mac like a pro
35Gotta mac, it's a pro
36Never nap, but I doze
37I'm a little bit of black, like I shat in the snow
38And I know ya'll bitches feelin that
39Ain't as nobody real as that I'm
40Rapping like Jamaica's population I been killin trackssss
41See dem bitches over there
42Please don't fucking over stare
43Das who I be stroking, young and smoking like they over DARE
44Okay I was joking, I don't know dem I should grow a pair
45But I am not the most efficient closer when I'm sober scared
46So I'm drinkin, fuck you thinkin
47Middle day das word to lincoln
48Ma left foot is always stinkin
49I ball good so I ain't blinkin
50Maybe whatcha know about a muthafuckin dog
51Fuckin cats up the ass metaphorically... pause.
52Ey what's going on man
53It's your boy Lil Dicky
54A.K.A Mr. Left-Ward-Sloping-Penis
55I got a story for y'all man
56Peep this
57Yes sir
58Now I been dating this girl named Katie, she hot as hell
59And her body crazy, vagina shaven and it don't smell
60And I don't fall for chickens
61But this one a little different
62Body sickening,
63Plus she really good at making breaded chicken
64Got me thinking she the one man
65Even fully clothed, shawty really fun man
66Get a lotta hoes, but none of those come close
67I swear this the most that I've felt so damn exposed
68Oh yeah there's one more thing
69And I know this shit gonna sound insane
70But I still haven't hit it
71I admit it, I wish I was kidding
72Never been up inside before
73Because shes only fucked one guy before
74And though I really wanna boink this whore
75She ma sweetie 3.14
76So I'm staying patient, and masturbating,
77And now ma heart is sorta racing
78Cause she said tonight will be the night we do some fornicating
79Hell yeah, I'm down, I'm bout to go all out
80I'm gonna pound that crazy, like an elaborate black man handshake
81But on the way to crib, we pass this kid,
82And he seem to know who Katie is
83So I say who this and she say
84Dicky, this is my ex boyfriend Jim
85And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type
86But as I'm looking at this dude I can't believe my eyes
87Cause he's the best looking guy that I've seen in my whole life
88He's got the thickest head of hair, chiseled jaw, an egregious bod
89Man this the closest thing I've seen to a Grecian God
90And now I'm looking at ma chick, cause his dick's been inside her raw
91Awww damn
92Man this is crazy
93I can't believe this guy used to fuck ma lady
94I bet he left that pussy ravaged like Haiti
95Katie's hugging and squeezing his shoulder blades
96And I'm bugging and queasy, this ain't okay
97And then they say, let's get drinks so I say okay
98Even though I was about to get laid!
99Man this motherfucker look like Ashton
100Combined with a little Hugh Jackman
101In other words, he's so damn attractive
102So damn tan he gotta have a little black in him
103Now I'm in the back with him, sipping on some 'gnac with him
104And he paying for it all, he investment banking...
105I'm acting, like I ain't distracted
106But I'm reenacting him and Katie banging
107And now I'm feeling pissed, so I go and take a piss
108Mid stream, I look left and guess who it is
109And I had to see, and I was mad discrete
110And I got on my tippy toes and I took a little peek
111Oh my God Becky, look at that cock
112And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type
113But as I'm looking at his dick, I can't believe my eyes
114Because he's got the biggest cock that I've seen in my whole life
115And now I'm staring at this dude's soft dick with a lotta hate
116Because the shit is plus 8 like Jon and Kate
117And I don't know if I can date ma girl after tonight
118Aw damn
119I don't know what to do
120Dude's dick is really huge
121I didn't realize a penis could be so smooth
122I know she's mission that
123My penis isn't that
124I'm looking closer I think that his dick has abs
125Six pack on a dick
126Now what the fuck is that
127It's so long and thick
128It's like a punching bag
129I'm saying it's so shaven, head is amazing
130Got ma dick looking like a raisin
131Skin tone insane, man he's hung like Saddam Hussein, it's crazy
132What the fuck should I do
133He gotta Ruth's Chris dick, and mine's a drive through...
134I think it's time to
135Tell Katie ma goodbyes
136Cause I simply can't survive
137After seeing what was in between his thighs
138So I tell her
139That this dude's gotta dick that I don't comprehend
140I had to move ma neck to see it end to end
141I mean the physics of his dick just don't make any sense
142And I think it's for the best if this comes to an end
143Because the sex with him must have been the best
144And I would say let's just be friends
145But I think I would just think about his dick all the time, so goodbye
146Then she told me Dicky I don't really know what to say
147Because I dated this dude in the second grade
148So I don't know about his dick, now let's go home and get you laid
149And then I took her to ma crib, and you know that we barely slept
150And I gave her an O like I was selling crack, and when I came
151I pulled out and nutted all over her left thigh
152And upper mid-section region
153You can call that the pelvis
154Some would even call that the pubic bone
155Leave the pubes at home
156Making this up on the spot
157Fuck you know about it
158I'm about to go paper-mache my own dick and ride it
159Yeah... sounds kinda beautiful don't it
160Fair warning, I'm about to shit on it
161Let's go, let's go, let's go
162[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]
163Okay now you already know that Dicky been about that flow all day
164I used to beg to get blow J's, I'm over head now, stowaway
165My team about that money tho, we scrappin fo that dummy dough
166Don't act like das yo money ho, das nacho cheese das doritos
167And I spit that hot shit all day long, gotta room full a hot chicks, no Krayshawn
168And you know they blonde, got em in suede thongs
169And they ass meat lookin like filet mignon
170You can find me, back a da club I'm wylin
171Shots in a mafuckan mug, I'm buyin
172No I ain't a mafuckan thug, but I will cut a rug in this mafucka
173Carpet violence
174In the crib with dat AC on
175No fib, ya girl up in a lacy thong
176Cause the kid been known to make a racy song
177Dicky got it goin on like I'm Stacy's mom
178I'm higher than I ever been, flyer than a pelican
179No lie see mo vagina than a common OBGYN
180I'm ballin whatchu know bout that
181In a purple charlotte throwback hat
182And I merc these tracks when I heard this rap
183Got me actin like I'm erkel, did I do that
184Hell yeah I did, you know I do it
185And the way they fallin for me like I'm boys with cupid
186In a truck with a slut with a butt, get a nut,
187Call that bitch bill buckner the way she blew it
188I'm high off weed and oxycodon
189I'm a caffeine fiend takin shots a soda
190Wish I was big pimpin on a yacht with Hova
191But I'm happy that ma girl lemme motorboat her
192I make this shit look easy dude
193I spit dat sick dat sneeze achu
194And who knew that baddest was a
195Nappy headed greasy Jew
196[Hook: Lil Dicky]
197Dicky spit that Jewish flow
198Lil Dicky spit that Jewish flow
199Sicker than the holocaust
200Dat muthafuckin jewish flow
201That third reich raw
202Concentration camp cold
203Now we rollin in that mothafuckin dough
204Das dat Jewish flow
205Dicky spit that Jewish flow
206Lil Dicky spit that Jewish flow
207Sicker than the holocaust
208Dat muthafuckin jewish flow
209That Auschwitz sick, gas chamber kinda shit
210Now I got german bitches all up on ma dick
211Das dat jewish flow
212Blowin up, you know that's DI
213Flowin since ya boy was knee high
214Now I'm grown up and ya'll buggin cause I'm buzzin like a beehive
215Shout out to my city, Philly, big ups to PA
216I went to college in VA but now I'm chillin by the bay
217And I got ma shit on lock, cause I ball like a jock
218They attached to my balls, like a small little cock
219No bullshit, dicky do it big no doubt
220And ya girl in the whirpool, wet no draught
221And she get so loud, I be like slow down
222Lemme relish this shit girl, no kraut
223And then I beat that like it was a title bout
224And then I plant my seed that ho got plowed
225Ew you so nasty, lil dicky you so nasty
226I got green knees, why you keep yo crib so grassy
227I do it how I do it baby swag out the ass
228And I'm shittin on you dick heads like a drag the asshooole
229Don't cha know my girls DTF
230And they pretty damn fine das PDF
231I'm a open that, I'm a cum press that
232I got Adobe Acrobat
233Ma homies say that pussy takes a toll on dudes
234But my EZ pass dick just slides right through ooo
235You know that dicky bout to bubble up
236Fresha than a mothafuck
237I gotta gang a bitches, whatchu know about a cluster fuck
238The back of the crack of that ass is poking outcha pants
239I'm a crack from the back and ejaculate all on that ass
240N'amsayin I'm cool ass mafucka try to see me
241If you want ma life, better find a genie
242In the club tryna choose, but I'm bein greedy
243So you know I pick six like a deion TD
244Cause I got that swag that y'all don't have
245Is that yo girl, das ma bad
246The sickest shit out two lips, heavy flow, I spit vagina flaps
247And y'ain't even want it with da boy
248Cause the way I'm livin life, is a muthafuckin joy
249On some grown man B.I.
250I could have been a girl
251Or any ethnicity up in the world
252But I'm rollin with the top back
253I ain't gotta worry where the cops at
254I ain't gotta wear a fucking bra strap
255Me and the crew
256Are really doing everything that we like to
257Man it's a damn good day to be a white dude
258Shit, I'm living good up in this bitch
259Dicky rollin round the city, blowin good up in that wip
260I ain't black or Dominican, not Hispanic or Indian
261So imprisonment is not a predicament, I envision
262For a white boy
263Hollatcha muthafuckin kike, boy
264Higher than a muthafuckin kite, it's iight boi
265They ain't suspicious of jews
266I'll show contrition it's cool
267Slap on the wrist, get ma daddy to choose
268One of them top lawyers dat be rollin round in his crew
269I'm eating chop soy and bowlin on a carnival cruise
270Das what I do kid
271Happy that my name ain't stupid
272Dave coulda been Daquan with a few kids
273But now I'm farting, overeating at meals,
274If ain't I gotta theme party, Ion't be at goodwill
275I'm dentist paying, tennis playing, smellin on some cabernet
276And I ain't gay but if I was, everything would be okay, look...
277I know I'm being condescending in ma rhymes
278But ma premium channels mean tyler perry's never live
279Getting tickets, they sick, I sit at the eagle 45
280Where I'm eating when I'm high's where they eat at to survive food chainssss
281Yeah. It's little DI in this bitch ho
282Happy that I'm white, but relieved I ain't a chick yo
283I never wake up and have to cake on ma make up
284Or straighten hair, I ain't given a damn
285I'm wearing whatever I wanna in this muthafucka
286They up in heels
287And tummy tuckin, theyon't grub except for takin them pills, foreal...
288And ion't bleach shit
289Ion't gotta eat dick
290I ain't bleeding up out ma penis
291Smoking the weed, ion't fall asleep because I'm cheefing
292In disagreements, I participate without weeping
293And when I'm freaking, I'm getting daps, high fives, and all that
294Ma rep goin up, and at best, ho a slut
295So what up
296Ya boy cut up
297But eat butter
298And I ain't gotta speak to ma mother... to still love her
299And I been getting better looking with age
300But a guy can get who he deserves with a horrible face
301Seal interlude
302I go on dates, and never have to worry bout getting raped
303And I watch a game and never have to worry bout how it's played
304And I meet a babe and never have to act deliriously fake
305And if impregnate I can pack a back and be on my way, but good luck girl!
306Yeah... I'm happy as fuck man
307First off I'm a dude so
308There was a one in two chance of that sucking
309But now I can run a seven minute mile
310I can defend my self adequately
311I can be logical
312I can get along with my room-mates
313Watch serious movies without being scared by them
314And the on top of that I'm white
315Which is like, amazing because
316Everybody naturally assumes I'm a great person
317I get a fair shot at the life I deserve
318I mean I could underachieve my way into any college in the country
319I get my hair cut at a salon
320People hold the door open for me which is nice
321Er, I never have to get into a fight, like, for social purposes
322And please don't take this as me just disparaging black people
323It ain't about that
324It's about me being happy that I'm white, know what I'm saying
325But on that note, could someone explain to me why Fat Joe, and any other person of Hispanic descent, is allowed to say the N-word
326I mean I guess it's unrelated but like that shit don't make any sense
327I've been thinking about that shit a lot
328Because like if I could say the N-word, it would really help my rhyme scheme out
329It's like the perfect filler word
330Eh this gon' be the shit that when motherfuckers hear it
331They gon' be like 'Damn, that dude can rap'
332Know what I'm saying
333Like, like, like, like
334Look, I'm the man bro
335Iont really care what the fuck you think
336Steak look rare but I grub dat pink
337And the grundle stink
338And I bump N-sync
339Don't suck dick, but I blow dat good
340Don't want shit but a ho that would
341Lemme hold dat, bend and fold that
342Get a Kodak, cowboy, Jerry Jones dat, lemme own that
343Word... fuck that girl
344Jew got hair, never cut them curls
345Truth or dare with a cute au paire
346Get a room to share, hit a boom, Pat Burrell
347Spit dat turd, das dat shit
348Gotcha girl up on ma dick
349I'm bout to sperm up on dem hips
350Don't wanna murder us a kid
351Oh shit... whatchu say
352Don'tchu do this erry day
353Don'tchu usually go with double meat when you eat chipotle
354Don't your crew lack someone black, but you want one to hang no slave
355And I heard your boo got so much back like she bangin' that Notre Dame clock
356Faded tho.
357Fuckin bitches you'd label undateable
358Missing birthdays, hay belated brah
359Naked out in san fran on that rooftop
360I got tan cans, no tube top
361Cause I'm the mafuckan man goddamn,
362And these mafuckas bitches full a shit like zoo mops so
363Look, you can do it, you can say it
364I been through it, you can play it
365Yea I'm jewish, so I'm praying das yo boo cause I'm a take her.
366Dinner at the crib, feedin kobe like a laker
367You know what it is, I'm a mafuckan K-I-K-E
368You don't play wanna play D
369Goin down low on ya dame
370Getcha mafuckin weight up
371You can find a cracker getting paid like a sedar
372All day
373Word up
374All K
375Whoa, afikoman in a flow, das a pro
376Whatchu know bout dicky creamin up in hoes
377No ho ho
378Whatchu know about a balla
379Born and raised on the kaballah
380Tryna make a dollar, until I'm cakin and stackin challa
381I'm hollerin atcha daughter like when the fuck you tryna get it
382Dat vagina fitted custom for humpin dis little dicky
383Puffin' sticky while she bangin' on my wood
384Superstitious, pussy good
385Cooter vicious, within a minute I finished
386But I ain't trippin off no quick nut
387And no pain in the butt, ma shit's tough
388And ma dick's sucked, and yo dick sucks
389But real talk I could never give an inch up
390We tippin cups in the strip club, no flip cup
391With a fit butt rubbin on my Nike zip up
392No whisenhunt, but them bad bitches get cut
393Gotta get up so the dick tucked
394What the fuck you doin
395This that heavy fuckin flow
396Word to pads
397Wearing out a lotta boxes on the road
398Word to plaid
399And I gotta have my pops no cereal
400Das word to dad
401Watching Breaking Bad, fucking with' Hank and sippin tab boi.
402Yeah, I'm saying
403If they can say the N word
404I sure as fuck can say Kike
405Do something about it, pussy
406Another Friday afternoon
407Dicky chillin in his room
408Got a teddy on the bed, you bet he playing little spoon
409Pimpin I ain't fittna move shit
410Bitches getting stupid
411But I ain't getting hammered less you handing me a tool kit
412And yea I know the cool kids are drinkin at the bar
413But I just ate a chicken parm
414And then got faded in ma car
415And there's tomato on ma navel, as I'm layin in ma arms
416Debating if it's safe to wait because bathrooms kinda far
417Goddamn.
418I don't wanna go nowhere
419Why the fuck these bitches call ma cell
420Ion't really care what the fuck they do
421I just wanna lay in bed and jerk off ma self
422Sun is going down, I bet the club been going down
423But I don't wanna fuck with nuffin less it's something in the house
424And now I'm naked on the couch
425With raisenets in ma mouth
426I'm playin a stupid asian in NBA 2k12
427And I'm beatin that ass with the Utah jazz,
428Youjizz on the tablet, loading multiple tabs
429As I pack bowls, mac pro, chattin with a black ho
430Dat want a redskin sack, call dat bitch orakpo
431Crack flow, fuckin with a lotta fuckin snacks bro
432Cookies in the oven, whatcha know bout how I stack dough
433And I ain't got no mafuckan plans ya diggg
434It's Friday night and I'm stayin in
435Don't wanna drink, man you couldn't even pay the kid
436Who knew that layin in the crib would make a hit
437So put ya hands in the air if you stayin innnn
438If you don't even care what day it is
439Ya had a long week, roll weed, take a hit,
440Go on Demand, take a gander and play some shittt
441Okay ma cell is getting bombed yo
442Bitches want a don
443To come meet em greet em leave with em, freak em at they condo
444Ma penis like Chicago
445D Rose pronto
446But I won't be scorin less it's fifa with ronaldo
447Cause I ain't comin out, I'm getting freaky, Michael Jackson
448Keepin up with the kardashians
449As I'm eatin easy mac and
450As I'm peein I'm seein penis with pieces of a napkin
451Need to clean it, I'm creamin without a boo, dis ain't Aladdin
452Achu, das what the rest ya'll do erry time ya'll spit some sicknin shit
453The fridge gotta lil bit left in it so now I'm raiden sub zero to finish him
454Damn... how you do dat there, you kickin it like Liu Kang here
455Ma pubic hair super bare whatcha know about a jew with nare
456And iont think I wanna brag, but stayin inside the pad
457Was basically the greatest day that I've had
458Holla back if you don't really wanna pregame, and wait for cabs
459Would rather eat a fuckin cheese cake, and take a nap
460I'm double bundled up under covers I'm comfy den a mafucka
461Bumpin to something usher, while grubbing on some fuddruckers
462Say I ain't the man ho
463Playin on demand shows
464You can get retarded, but lil dicky think he stayin home
465See back in highschool
466I ain't even know I could rap
467So the hits late, but nobody throwin the flag
468Goin fifth grade with it, Dicky opening snacks
469Because the kid made different like a joke in Iraq
470Now check it
471Never thought I wanna pass the bar
472But I gotta get fancy car
473So I got up on the beat, beat on it like
474Evander sparring partner, smarter art
475When I master bars
476These weak bitches gotta leave, dicky dissin' em all
477To listen to y'all is sorta like a flick in the balls
478Foreal tho
479Cause they don't spit it real as D do
480The kid come first, like his dick a prequel, so look
481If you really wanna get it, forget it, genetically better
482Then every pathetic competitor nettin cheddar
483Get in bed I'll get you wetter than Redick
484I bet I bend her, get her beggin, etcetera
485Breath, now ya man on reddit cause I'm rappin the flames
486I'm hands on, wayne chrebet, when I'm mackin the dames tho
487The lame bros, better learn to make a single
488Or ya mayn bout to have these rappers playin some bingoooo... yeah
489So whatchu talkin bout
490If this really stupid tell me what the fuck is walk it out
491If lil dicky ruin rap, they poopin on it's coffin now
492So if you heard of a jewish rapper you know who they talkin bout
493Ion't think I need a grammy bro
494I got two, and they fairly old
495The family, demanding, ya man be
496A little wary tho
497They know dude got a scary flow
498Just like you do, yea
499Except they mean it different
500Prefer ma chicken white das for chicken and da women
501Confessing that I'm hittin only cause I'm nice at spittin
502But used to getting used, you dudes Aaliyah's kitchen
503Hold up, the kid so dumb
504The drink po up, he can't grow up
505Ya man gotta thang for donuts
506The flow nuts, bout to make a jam, I go Russ
507From Okla - getting more bread than cold cuts, whaddup bruh
508That's why these hoes wanna get it
509They been fuckin with the kid, joe paterno assistant
510I'm stern with the women
511I'm a a nerd but I'm hittin
512On these curves like it's griffey in the third with these pitches
513Iight, the kids aiight, legit polite
514I wife, nice jews, pipe smoove, cider with ice cubes
515The white dude's known to be recording it right
516You jabronies write a stupid chorus lighter than cubes
517Commercials
518Y'all worse than them
519But these lucky bitches, they ain't gotta work again
520All these chickens in the crib's like a birthed a hen
521So I be over-cumming definition circumvent, ya dig
522Cold spittin, admit it, I'm rippin shit up, like a ticket stub
523And givin a clinic, these bitches isn't sick enough to get up in it tho
524You should probly quit it bro
525Dude's spittin ridiculous with it, particularly when he
526Be switchin the flowwwww up.
527Das cash and all
528More black in me than basketball
529Next line, LD's talkin vaginal
530The kid been hittin more walls than a raquet balllll, yeaah!
531So prepare for my libido
532It's really fuckin scary, action Bronson in a speedo
533It's really fuckin scary magic Johnson near mosquitos
534But I'm nearly fuckin there, these bitches bout to feed me Cheetos
535Cause Ion't really like the mess
536Pretty clear right here that the kike the best that's my n word so chill
537Never scared, nor embarrassed, ask ma ex
538I gotta bone like a freak, Kevin Ware the sex... whoa.
539Y'all heard about the kid with the jew flow
540And jew fro, getting mo sugar than glucose
541The dude so cold youda so swore he from pluto
542Ma head so big, it's like I'm juicing with pujols
543But look if you thinkin that this jew so nice
544Then you so right, you rappers lookin' Bruno's type
545The dude's so bright, I'm rapping like a sumo fight
546The knee slappin' unexpected, word to Juno's tike, I'm out.
547Man I wish I was a kid
548Thinking bout the third grade
549Back in '96 in my Michael Jordan jersey
550French fries curly, cool with it, raising Tamagachis
551Dick 3 and a half, the same as a floppy
552Nerf guns loaded and we shootin at y'all motherfuckers
553We ain't getting hoes, but we getting soda
554And we was fucking with the swag of The Fresh Prince
555Ain't nothing like when you had mad tokens left
556In that arcade balling
557Watching tickets falling
558Pegging stupid bitches in the motherfucking ball pit
559Landline calling
560Chilling at the mall
561And if this the type of shit that you recall well then
562Let me hear you shout
563If you grew up in the 90's
564Then you know what I'm about
565Don't you wish we could rewind it
566I wish we could, man I really miss it
567Cause we having fun all day
568Slept all night
569Best ten years of our whole damn lives
570Blowing on a cartridge, a lot of fucking farting
571I would give it all up, if I could restart it
572Sitting on the school bus
573Flipping through some Goosebumps
574A minute 'til I'm shitting out the school lunch
575Wanna know what cool was
576Starter jackets, Jock jams, and Pop Rocks
577Sega in my room, baby boom shaka laka
578Lot of slammers in my pocket, flippin them pogs
579And I knew every modem noise in ma aol login
580On that Oregon Trail
581With Keenan & Kell
582I was jerkin off daily, TRL
583But that Saved by the Bell
584Was on some fuckin hot shit
585OJ to jail, oh wait that glove did not fit
586Short shorts Stockton
587Beanie Baby profits
588And NBA on NBC if you remember watching
589Remember getting greeted with Scholastic mags
590I hated it reading but it made me need that shit so bad
591And we was spinning that bottle, de-prude hoes
592Winning full throttle, Nintendo
593Switch the flow up, getting donuts
594Fruit roll ups, wishing we could be a grown up
595Being so dumb, fucking with the kid, call me Lil Dicky Griffey
596And my koosh balls big, man I think I had 50
597Love those mentos ads
598There were ten boy bands
599I had ten ring pops on my hands
600Plus I love that Nick at Nite nighttime
601Kicks had lights
602Shine brighter than some tights when they was tag team fighting
603Shout out to Topanga
604Fuck you know about Jenga
605Best head ever from a Pez dispenser
606D up on the track
607They shook,
608Race good
609Cheetah on a track
610Great hooks,
611Facebook
612We up on the map
613Now the cake good from rappin
614Cray up on a mac
615We been getting pussy like all damn night bruh
616Philly D lil dicky be up on that L dystra
617Think I need a diaper... shittin when I cypher
618Stay with eminems... like ya man's kai pfaifer
619Whoa
620Dicky ballin foreal
621All these models all up on him got em callin him seal
622Every song is getting bomber like a mall in isreal
623And I been buzzin like I'm chugging alcohol with no meal
624I got that shit, everybody know that dicky been kickin
625Da sickest shit and killin criminal's spittin so
626If you get wanna get me then
627You know where I be at
628If you didn't know about the kid then lemme recap
629Baby I been all around the fuckin world
630Huggin da girls
631These muthafuckin bitches lovin the curls
632The kid been takin his vacation days and
633Makin bacon, basically takin the game and changing
634It to make it relatable
635Trader joes up in the fridge boi
636Unprotected sex without no kids boi
637Makin sure ma lady take dat pill boi
638Gotta keep it real
639Honesty about to get ya boi a deal, boi
640Comedy in songs, fuck da kill joys
641But like
642Man, I wish I could sing good
643If I was a chick, right now this a single
644But until this shit get around, then it's all ya dude
645Up in his room, getting down, but it's all for you
646So like
647Shoot
648If you know somebody that produce
649Or a hottie that'll sing about her boobs
650Hit me up on gmail tho yo
651Cause I been tryna take dis shit to retail bro
652And I don't know have any contacts
653Alrite I'm back up in this bitch
654Spittin crack, up on the track
655Up on the mac, up in this bitch
656I been anxious to see what's actually happenin with this
657Cause the rappin that's crackin em up is actually legit
658You know
659I'm bout to get it, better bring in the medic, I'm reppin
660Literally, every regular person, get up on ma credit level
661Better than your better will ever be, spittin incredibly
662Ready, I'm a get on that melody with dat real shit
663I'm the only rapper not exactly sure what trill is
664But I'm still attacking every track and I been killin
665Shit, but dude I'm scared of the hood
666It's really spooky, dat ain't racist, think you misunderstood
667Lil dicky bullshitting, and good livin with good writtens
668So good riddance, to every rapper acting so cool with it
669I school bitches, but still I'm acting a fool with it
670So fuck all the tools with they stupid ass music but...
671Lot of rappers talking that shit, not enough doing that shit
672Y’know I’m sayin’ Yeah
673People acting like I ain’t a fucking criminal
674Like I ain’t never doing dirt though
675Probably cause the way I’m doing shit is clinical
676But I’ve been putting in some work, breh
677I see you looking at me cynical, stop looking at me
678I ain’t fucking with your smirk ho
679We’ve been doing shit, despicable
680But we just keep it on a low, for example
681Walk in to the movie with my pants full
682Twix, bag of chips, plus a Snapple
683Stealing all the shampoos, from the hotel’s pretty bathrooms
684Cheating, I’ve been peekin’ in the classroom
685Looking like a nice guy, ‘til I take your motherfucking Wi-Fi
686And torrent every single song in my library
687Then I drive by very fucking high by everybody
688While my lady licking my five inch dick
689White crime
690White crime
691Yeah, we ‘bout that
692Do a lot of dirt, never doubt that
693Lot of rap twerps, let it shout crap
694Let it make their mouth flat
695When it come to burd, no, we spout facts
696You 'gon learn what I’m 'bout, breh
697[Verse 2:]
698Doing business at the airport
699Ask security, I ain’t fraught
700Lot of shit up in my JanSport
701Six ounce of the face wash the limit three
702My duffle bigger than what can board
703My shuffle on during take-off
704Will I help in an emergency Yeah, sure
705Exit row, fingers straight crossed
706Thinking Dave’s soft
707But I know you see me J-walking
708Piss in public, no caution
709Halloween bucket Take one, fuck you thinkin’ Dave was
710Give me all your motherfucking chocolate, ho
711At the stop sign, never fully stopping though
712Filling water cups up, with a lot of coke
713Egging homes, motherfucker, a lot of yolk
714Not alone up in this motherfucker, a lot of folks, been doing…
715Even though the speeding limit sixty five
716I’m doing seventy five without a seat belt on
717And I’ve been texting, driving reckless
718I was seventeen when I first tried a Guiness on the tennis team
719We used to haze a lot of freshmen
720Lil Dicky put a hoop up in the street
721Without obtaining permission
722From the city, and every Christmas day
723I’m going to cinemas with single tickets to single flicks
724But go to additional pictures, sorry, but your boy is malicious
725And back when I was eighteen, statutory raping
726This little ho, even though we was dating
727And if I am taking public transportation
728On the quiet train I might have a conversation
729Fuck it I’m the man
730Puitting trash up in some other people’s cans though
731At the work fridge, stealing can coke
732And up at the holiday party, I’m grinding colleagues on the dance floor
733Dick been rubbing against their assholes, say it’s not…
734Drunk, faded, browned out, looking all shady
735Two months since I fucked a lady, young man dick going crazy
736Standard Saturday, I'm about to get a cab and masturbate
737Then I see a hot girl, look back at Dave
738Lemme get your cat girl, no Hathaway
739That's what I thought not what I said to her
740Instead I walk up to her, like I know you heard of the kid
741You heard what I did, you heard of my shit, the murderous spit.
742She's like, Naw, you're being weird, what are you talking about
743I'm like, Aw...
744Pulling out my phone, like a boss, YouTube 'bout to get her off
745But as I type the y-o-u, some porno pop up
746I'm like, Hold up, how did, that's not even me
747Like, I don't jerk off mobily...
748Then her friends coming up
749And wanna know if everything is okay
750I'm like, Naw, this a rape, you can't tell
751Gimme a break, please. Get the heck away.
752I turned to her, Let me buy you a drink, she like, Fine.
753Told the man, Two Patron, she like, Lime.
754Said he tried twice, the card got declined
755I'm like, All ri-, is this a, could it be a machine issue
756He was like, Naw,
757I was like, Obviously there's something wrong
758I got dough, like I'm not broke...
759I got donuts with the same card like about an hour ago.
760He like, Dude, I don't know.
761Now I'm looking at the girl she just wanna go
762And I ain't talking 'bout with me, bro, I mean alone
763I got one more chance to prove myself, so I'm like
764Look, I'm athletic, girl, I've gotten several Rec League MVP's
765At my crib I've got some pizza, plus a little bit of weed
766In my room I've got a TV, plus I recently did sheets
767Girl, I even have a fridge that has the water on the door
768Like with the crushed ice
769You know I don't give a damn what your plan right now
770This is me coming at you as a man right now
771Lemme freak, lemme freak, God dammit, lemme freak
772Just lemme freak, please God, just lemme freak
773The girl from the first verse, somehow let me fuck
774Fast forward, seven months, we in love
775Some real serious relationship type shit
776Despite this, I ain't fucked for days
777Tried last night, but was pushed away
778But I've been acting well behaved today, I smell okay
779Adele Pandora's playing, now she laying
780On the floor and I'm praying this bitch is horny
781I go and give her a smooch
782She kissing Dicky back, so I play with her boobs
783Bad move, she don't like that
784Bad mood, her boss being mean to her
785Via email, she wanna write back
786I'm like, Right now
787She like, Yeah, what do I say, can you just help me
788Oh, okay, what's the context
789Then she like, Well, he talks to Jane before coming to me.
790Who's Jane again I said, she like, Wow, you should know that...
791Okay, I guess I forgot, she like, Dude, that's my other boss.
792Okay, true, so shouldn't your first boss
793Go to the other boss, before you Right
794But Jane isn't hands on! she yelled
795Okay, well I just don't understand the dynamic then
796I don't work with these people. She started crying
797Wait stop, what the fuck is this
798Naw, you don't ever take my side.
799About an hour later til' I'm on her good side
800We in bed, hands on her good thighs
801I try to kiss, she like, Good night but I'm like
802Look, I just turned off The Departed for a movie 'bout a bee
803I've been cutting back on farting, tweeting, arguing and weed
804Yesterday I wore a cardigan at dinner with your sweet
805And supportive aunt during the fourth quarter, of the Eagles
806Now reward it..
807You know I don't give a damn what your plan right now
808This is me coming at you as a man right now
809Lemme freak, lemme freak, God dammit, lemme freak
810Just lemme freak, please God, just lemme freak
811Fast forward some more, June sixteenth, twenty seventy four
812Old LD looking old as fuck, still with the same ho, holding up
813But my life sucks, legs hurt, friends dead, real terse
814My dick looking like it's tinfoil
815Her tits looking like they hard boiled eggs
816On top of that, she insane
817Like, I don't even think she knows who I am
818Our kids moved away, we've been doing the same shit for days
819Maybe months, who knows, probably going to die soon
820Pretty scared, I ain't even gonna lie to you
821Think about it all day, on my last legs
822But I'm going out with a bang
823I got pills they invented back in fifty seven
824I took five, that's a bit excessive
825I look high, take a look at my thighs
826And good god that's a little erection, it'll work though
827Now I've gotta find the ho, I'm pretty much blind at this point
828I don't know if I mentioned that yet, but I am
829Made my way into the bedroom and there she is, I'm like
830Look, I don't know if you're aware that
831You've been throwing out my shoes
832What I do know is, I'm sick of doing nothing here with you
833All my blood is in my dick, I'm probably dying pretty soon
834Are you even comprehending what I'm saying
835Please acknowledge that you hear me...
836You know I don't give a damn what your plan right now
837This is me coming at you as a man right now
838Lemme freak, lemme freak, God dammit, lemme freak
839Just lemme freak, please God, just lemme freak
840Yeah. Man, this is the softest thing I ever did.
841But... it's about something that's pretty important to me...
842And that's you
843And that's true
844I really wish I didn't care about you anymore,
845But I do
846What do I do when the rap-life
847Make a motherfucker choose up in that fight
848Make a young couple do something sad like,
849Being broke up even though we had life.
850Fuck it, I don't even know what I could have done
851Looking back thinking, That's what I should've done.
852Wanted you back
853But when the fact is I always put you second to rap
854I'm not mad that you wouldn't come.
855And even though I had to move, I ain't move on
856Really wish you was a boo I could prove wrong.
857But she knows what I'mma do with the new songs
858And she know them pretty soon when your dude on
859Running the rap game, with that lane.
860Always got to be up on that train, or that plane
861Ain't nobody wanna feel that pain, or that strain
862Wishing I ain't gotta get that fame
863Or I'd claim you, know I'd give you my last name.
864But that blame on me
865Chasing something, feeling dumb 'cause you all I need.
866Hope you wait until I'm done and I'm all free,
867But you know I'm never knowing when that's gonna be
868And I'm sorry.
869It's the hardest rule to follow I'm thinking of you
870I really wish that I could call you What can I do
871You can find another me tomorrow,
872And that's the hardest pill to swallow, babe.
873If I woke up and I called it quits 'cause I'm thinking of you
874If today I gave up all of this I don't know what to do
875Maybe I could get you back tomorrow
876And that's the hardest pill to swallow, baby.
877And that's you
878And that's true
879I really wish I didn't care about you anymore,
880But I do
881What do I do when the rap-life
882Make a motherfucker choose up in that fight
883Make a young couple do something sad like,
884Being broke up even though we had life.
885When I'm being dumb and stupid
886Who the fuck is gonna hit me with the motherfucking jerk face
887Who's gonna let me know to hit my mother on her birthday
888Who's gonna let me know when I be shopping if a shirt's gay
889And when I'm on the road I be missing that.
890Always looking at my phone, you would give me crap.
891Ever since I've been alone I've been thinking back
892Listening to you auto-tune in my mic phone making us laugh.
893You know the past was a blast but it never could last.
894Pretty sad when your love got a separate path
895Used to read when there's nothing to do
896But it's funny
897Doing nothing's never nothing when it's something with you.
898You know I wanna still talk, even text and call
899Whenever something going on I be pressing Moll
900Up in the phone til I press the X
901Stressed the next one'll best the ex,
902And you'll forget, but it's best.
903You the best to me girl, always bake me something
904And when they ripped off, you replaced my buttons.
905But don't be pissed off if I hate your husband,
906'cause even when I can't say, Love you,
907I love you
908It's the hardest rule to follow I'm thinking of you
909I really wish that I could call you What can I do
910You can find another me tomorrow,
911And that's the hardest pill to swallow, babe.
912If I woke up and I called it quits 'cause I'm thinking of you
913If today I gave up all of this I don't know what to do
914Maybe I could get you back tomorrow
915And that's the hardest pill to swallow, baby.
916And that's you
917And that's true
918I really wish I didn't care about you anymore,
919But I do
920What do I do when the rap-life
921Make a motherfucker choose up in that fight
922Make a young couple do something sad like,
923Being broke up even though we had life.
924It's the hardest rule to follow I'm thinking of you
925I really wish that I could call you What can I do
926You can find another me tomorrow,
927And that's the hardest pill to swallow, babe.
928If I woke up and I called it quits 'cause I'm thinking of you
929If today I gave up all of this I don't know what to do
930Maybe I could get you back tomorrow
931And that's the hardest pill to swallow, baby.
932Bruh...
933Bruh...
934LD
935Bruh
936A.K.A. stem cells
937Everybody know the cat like a dope meme
938I got em' buzzing off the crack like a dope fiend
939They saw em' come up with a Mac yeah I'm so Steve
940Nowadays bitches tryna crack got 'em ODing
941Like how them hoes want to get it with L
942They know it's cold enough to charge like a letterman sale
943If they gon' stand behind the bars I'm in federal jail
944I'm going far like a general mail
945On that note I got the fellas saying what up, the tape what up
946The same mothafucker playing with his steak cut up
947I'm great, shut up, the flowing no debate just us
948I'm out of shape but I'm straight to fuck
949Yeah you know I got a chicken in the condo
950I was sick of getting off beat she a bongo
951Now she playing with the hard D being Rondo
952Drunk and go inside her all sweet like a Strongbow
953How I'm'a do
954I got your ex coming next like a W do
955I gotta flex, I'm the best, now I'm being direct
956I'm unimpressed by these bitches that I see in the press
957I'm kinda vexed by the trash like I'm cleaning a mess
958Cus they as real when they rap as a Chias a pet
959They old news stocks plummet! Men's leg hair they ain't cut it!
960Forget about your era, Pat Summitt
961Finesse writtens
962I wanna get a hundred bitches and fuck with the spitting
963Religious like a couple of post-marital Christians
964I've been official, Dick Bevetta a living
965You better dig it like you bitches got a mill in the ditch
966I'm killing this shit I been kicking like a villainous ninja
967My shit is gripping when I run it how the fuck I be slippin
968I be intimate with them hoes, she never flummoxed
969I take chick, pee and smash, I call it hummus
970And I be funny with this shit, I'm just playing
971But still nobody fucking with the kid I'm just saying
972Ah! Got a chicken parm on the date it seem
973But I don't even know the broad, she just grating the cheese
974I don't even got a job I just blaze and free
975But still they give a boy bands, 98 degrees
976So come fuck with me
977I got a couple hundred bitches doing drugs with me
978And I got a couple dozen bitches tryna hug Dicky
979And I got a couple bitches who be steady fucking me
980Hey, that's a good ass life
981Only thing I got left find a good ass wife
982But yo I gotta hit these hoes first, don't tell Mom
983But in a year I'm'a bend over Michelle Obama
984Bruh you know I gotta do it while I'm hot
985I'm tryna get blew in most states like Barack
986I'm tryna show a boo the last name of the Rock
987And put her on D till we O, J Watt
988I never hit the scene when I do I'm high and wasted
989I'm fucking with them jeans love them bitches high waisted
990I run around your team, you a player but I'm Naismith
991And I Command V, while you copy I just paste it, face it
992Hotel got 'em puffing on the L, going harder than some hell
993You ain't knew it
994If everybody had to tell the truth and you had to pick a dude
995Spitting better than your dude: can't do it
996Telling me damn you got bitches, damn you got hoes
997Damn you got money, but damn I got flow
998Damn you got riches, damn you got clothes
999Damn you got honeys but damn I got soul
1000Hold up. This shit I'm making's always tight it's like a yoga store
1001They all up in the other boat it's why I'm overboard
1002I'm taking time to do it right it's like a soda pour
1003Cus we ain't loving all you bitches like we spoken for
1004I been packing the band-wagon, the man cracking
1005The man packing the stands, had them clapping they hands
1006Tagging they ‘grams, Manhattan was ham
1007Slapping the fans, playing havin' the plan
1008Fans rapping the jams, sagging my pants
1009You see the type of shit I do on the track
1010Hot shit like I poop in the jacket
1011Won't mack your bitch but yo I'm bout to come and mack your clique
1012Your whole friend group fucking with Dick no hetero
1013I yawn when I hear these motherfuckers on the radio
1014They ball all retarded Cuba Gooding up in Radio
1015I long for the moment I can say that's not debatable
1016I'm past that, I wonder who appreciate it like a Snapchat
1017Aflac, duck the dude, I'm going hard for the grind but I tuck this move
1018I made war with the rhymes, motherfuck your crew
1019These bitches going Adolf, tryna fuck this Jew
1020I'm too nice like a motherfucker that fell in love with a boo
1021Twice as in double as fuckable as he was
1022And dude tries to be subtle and get her cuddling
1023Venting her troubles and getting her truffles and ending up
1024Befuddled when she don't fuck him and someone tell him listen
1025You bugging she never fucking a pedestrian muggle like you
1026So why all the trouble but he rebuttal with
1027I think I just love her so I would shudder at the thought
1028Of being anything other than nice
1029I’m that nice
1030Heat bang like I caught a body/Port-A-Potty
1031It wasn't even deep dang shit is still a hobby
1032It's too bad bitches sleeping on me threesome
1033Cus now these bitches want to help but he don't need none
1034I'm all time like the Wall at the Bank
1035You've no shot like you drawing a blank
1036Honestly you probably couldn't hang man
1037I've been drawing a blank
1038Giving you lines while you sitting there and drawing a blank
1039So go in the rink, chilling like it's dough in the bank
1040And I’m flowing danker than a grower in Napa
1041Growing the stankest cannabis
1042Doing rap and pro-est smacking the hoe-est rappers
1043And showing the total package like my flaccid is growing fatter
1044Samoan cracker dapper rapper had to keep goin
1045Yeah that rap is a rap I know you rappers napping don't know it
1046There’s a dagger pita pappa-tapping on the window
1047It’s a real accurate metaphor of what you having in store
1048And I be snapping I mean I be splashing on the
1049Pane me your rain, fallin
1050Quicker than Aladdin for his dame
1051Are you better than me
1052Bruh
1053Ey, ey
1054Damn
1055L tapped twice on some ass like grams
1056I just fucked
1057Now what I'm doing
1058I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy
1059I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy Do you fuck with the war
1060I just finished spazzing on a bitch, ayy
1061Now I'm pillow talking with a bitch
1062I'm like Girl, that was great, talk about a connection
1063Am I alone in my praise, do you share my assessment
1064She like Yeah, that was nice, I enjoyed myself
1065Great, yeah
1066She like Can you reach that shelf for my phone
1067I'll take care the alarm
1068I'm like Oh, for the morning, like to sleep
1069She like Yeah, we just had sex
1070What did you think
1071I was just gonna fuck you and leave
1072No, I... I hadn't thought that far ahead
1073But of course, can I get you a T-Shi-
1074Oh, can you not tickle my hair
1075It's just a personal thing, it's not you
1076Okay, sorry for doing it
1077No, no, it's just a personal thing, it's not you
1078Okay cool, yeah
1079Uhhh, so you're from Minnesota
1080Only thing I know is that it's colder
1081Break it down, how's it compare
1082To living in LA
1083Well, I can't compare them they're so different
1084Y'know what I'm sayin
1085Yeah, for sure
1086She like Apples to oranges
1087Yeah, well you can still compare them but I hear ya
1088What's the deal with your family Got any siblings
1089She like I have a brother, I'm like Oh, what he do
1090She like He in the Army
1091Oh, true
1092Uhh, do you fuck with the war
1093She like Huh, what did you just say
1094Huh, like just now
1095Yeah... 
1096Do you fuck with the war
1097No, I don't fuck with the war
1098I'm like No, I don't fuck with the war
1099Just don't know how to react to the forces
1100I should have just thanked you of course-
1101Uh, why would you thank me 
1102Uh... I guess I assumed it would extend to the families but okay
1103While we on the topic
1104I been actually thinking about some shit
1105About the Army and Navy
1106What if tomorrow is the day
1107That the fucking aliens came
1108And invaded our nation
1109Like, would we even be able to fuck with their shit
1110Like do we got the type of weaponry to fuck with their ships
1111Or not at all, like would they just walk up in this motherfucker
1112Laughin' at us, and blastin' at us
1113And makin' everybody disintegrate and assimilate
1114Without a hint of intimidation
1115Or could we do some shit to be making they heart race
1116Granted I don't know the alien heart, but
1117You get what the fuck I'm sayin
1118Like what the fuck would it be like
1119Would they be like Earth go hard
1120Or is it just another conquest
1121Or would they be like damn earth go hard
1122They was harder than Simian
1123You ever talk to your brother about this uh type of stuff
1124Then she like No
1125I'm like Well, what you think
1126She like I don't concern myself with hypotheticals that couldn't be
1127I'm like Girl, what you mean
1128She like I don't believe
1129In the war
1130In aliens
1131Oh... hold up
1132Hold up, wait
1133Girl what you sayin
1134That all of the life in the universe happens to be where you stand
1135I guess
1136What an enormous coincidence that shit would be
1137Do you see what I'm sayin'
1138I can't hear what you're sayin'
1139Well, the universe always expanding
1140There are infinite galaxies
1141Why would we be the anomaly
1142She like That's no coincidence
1143I call that shit God
1144I'm like Oh, you're religious, bitch
1145You think it's all God
1146No, I know it's all God
1147No, I know that there might be a God
1148First off, nobody knows there's a God
1149Girl, I think we should drop this
1150No, what's goin' on in your brain right now
1151Brain Ayy, brain on some other shit though
1152I been all up in the club for the year, hey Brain
1153I been killing shit, don't mind me
1154I'm just top flight, I could sure use a Sprite, I'm thirsty as fuck
1155Who getting money That's brain. Who make decisions That's brain
1156Who make the hits That's been brain
1157Who run the whole operation
1158That be brain-
1159Brain, can you just get back to the issue here
1160Uh, can you just remind the brain
1161You're such an idiot, we're talking about God and if he exists
1162Don't call brain names
1163The brain couldn't recall
1164But if I'm not mistaken this bitch to my left
1165Guaranteed there's a God
1166I believe in a God, yes
1167So God never wrong
1168God never wrong, right
1169Yeah, that's like the whole point
1170Brain just get there, please
1171Hold up
1172So God made the earth
1173And God was like hold up, this shit is boring
1174It need more shit
1175God was like I'ma put dinosaurs on that bitch
1176Dinosaurs on that bitch
1177Then he like why I put dinosaurs on that shit
1178What is your brain even saying
1179Can he get to the point
1180Hold up brain you just did it
1181God ain't wrong, what the fuck was he thinking
1182About what 
1183Bitch, the dinosaurs
1184He made the Earth for them
1185But then he like nah
1186Dinosaurs are just blah
1187What's your point
1188I'ma cook up some blondes
1189Like he was way off
1190I don't look like a dinosaur
1191Hoe them things thirty-five-feet
1192I'm like five-foot-eleven Up on Tinder I'm six-foot
1193Seen that Bronchiosaurus
1194That thing fuckin' neck go to heaven
1195And that's just an expression bitch
1196There ain't no heaven
1197Ha, funny
1198I'm just messin' but if he ain't wrong
1199I guess this the exception
1200Can I talk now
1201Go ahead
1202Look
1203Everything in life has purpose
1204You, chickens, a midget at a circus
1205What
1206I don't interpret
1207She like That's not for me to determine
1208So dinosaurs purpose was to just die
1209That's not for me to determine
1210But... ok
1211I'm just a person
1212Okay, but think of the root of the argument girl
1213View how we started this girl, like you don't believe in the aliens
1214You confine God to earth girl, I find that shit salient
1215I just don't presume to know the plan
1216Bitch, me neither but that's not what I've been saying
1217But what are you saying
1218Why can't God fuck with aliens
1219Why can't Earth just be like a fucking small side project for this guy
1220Ok, look we just don't see eye to eye
1221Yeah but logically like you don't believe in your side
1222Yeah but you're like bringing up fucking dinosaurs
1223Like we could have shared the earth with them nobody knows
1224Yeah, there is hard soil evidence girl
1225Like what's next you don't fuck with Pangaea
1226She like Let's change the subject
1227Ok...
1228This bitch don't know about Pangaea, uhm...
1229Brain leave it alone
1230I'm starving, are you hungry by chance
1231Oh, my God, I'm so hungry
1232Yes, do you wanna get a pizza
1233Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah, I'm on it
1234Also I'm sorry about that whole interrogation thing
1235Come on dude I'm a grown up
1236I'm capable of having intelligent conversations
1237Okay, I just... fuck it
1238Okay back to this pizza I lean pepperoni
1239Ugh
1240Sausage
1241How can you eat that shit
1242No, no, no, this not Dominoes
1243This legit, is high quality meat and shit
1244No, no, I'm vegetarian
1245Oh right, well we can get half pepperoni
1246And half of whatever you like
1247Uh, ew, I can't have that shit
1248In the same box
1249Seriously You're that against meat
1250No, I'm that against us being gluttonous
1251Thinking that animals live on this earth to get eaten
1252Okay, is it how we treat them
1253Uh, that sure doesn't help
1254Ok...
1255She like I'm not opposed to us hunting
1256But now we not trackin' them down
1257We just breed them to eat
1258That's disgusting
1259You should honestly read on the subject
1260Alright, hold up
1261Just because we're not running around with a bow and arrow
1262Doesn't mean we're not hunting these chickens
1263We just set the place to do our hunting intelligently enough
1264To manipulate these animals and get them to do exactly what we want
1265That's my point we just incubate animals
1266Instead of just letting them live how they come
1267But, that's just your God at work, bitch
1268Why we go hard on earth
1269What you think would happen right now
1270If you left my place
1271And there were like three wolves waiting for you
1272Wolves
1273Bitch, they would tear your ass up
1274Viciously
1275Like they would eat your titties And your pussy
1276That's what they do And your face and shit
1277Humans are smarter bitch
1278That's what we do
1279She like Apples to oranges
1280Bitch, that phrase don't make no sense
1281Why can't fruit be compared
1282She like I'm gonna leave
1283There's just all of these conflicting principles
1284Right, enjoy your pepperoni pizza
1285I will, that's my God-given right
1286She like Where is my bag
1287Oh, that leather one next to the trash
1288That's the one right Made out of cow, I think
1289Ugh why are there no Ubers in this area
1290So you don't eat the meat, you just be wearing the shit
1291I'm not listening dude
1292That's barbaric as shit
1293Do you come from the vikings
1294Why are you even still talking
1295Do you take peoples land
1296I'm not listening dude
1297Do you fuck with the war
1298How are there no Ubers anywhere
1299Just download Lyft, they are bigger in presence out here
1300I don't wanna add shit to my phone
1301Okay, the choices are clear, hoe
1302Ubers are not around here at all
1303Taxis will come but they real slow
1304And the brain gotta poop
1305T minus five till the brain gotta shit
1306I just downloaded Lyft, but it's being so glitch
1307Uh, look do you just want to sleep here
1308Uh, no thanks
1309It's past 2 am
1310I'm not sharing a bed with you
1311You can sleep in my bed, I'll just sleep on the floor
1312Fine, you're sure
1313Yeah, it's cool
1314I won't throw you out to the wolves
1315Oh, my God, you are so annoying
1316I couldn't help myself
1317But can you at least throw me a pillow
1318I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy
1319I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy Do you fuck with the war
1320I just finished spazzing on a bitch, ayy
1321Now I'm pillow talking with a bitch
1322Brain gotta poop still
1323Please don't neglect the brain
1324Please don't neglect the brain
1325
1326Hold on, is that my Lyft
1327Nah, I got a pizza
1328Full pepperoni too
1329So, you're not gonna wanna be a part of it
1330But first you should poop
1331Please don't neglect the brain
1332Yeah,
1333I feel like people are really weird about admitting, when they’re scared
1334If you’re not scared ever, you’re just lying or something
1335You’re being weird
1336Ten days in the bay left
1337And I don’t mean to overthink that
1338Got a one way straight to L.A.X
1339And I ain’t blink yet
1340I know you’d think that
1341I’d of figured out this whole thing
1342Like where his chink at
1343Segue to Lil Dicky getting bigger than a Yao Ming
1344But can I shrink that
1345Where my shrink at
1346I don’t know what to feel
1347Everything has gotten totally real
1348Everything I always wanted right in front of me with nobody near
1349So it’s weird that I’m overly scared
1350But I’m so unprepared
1351Holding the beer, I’m withholding the fear
1352Not in the clear but I’m kind of revered
1353And yeah I might appear like the chill type
1354The veneer is not real in the real life
1355What it feel like
1356Thanks giving I was missing I ain’t even miss ‘em
1357Girlfriend hella distant I ain’t even listen
1358Only shit I really care about is spittin’ writtens
1359This is the beginning
1360I’m just getting into the game
1361My world’s not spinning the same
1362The shit looking like it’s bigger than Dave
1363It’s so crazy
1364But when all this sitting at stake
1365I can’t break, even if I’m afraid it might change me
1366Look if you let me
1367You know I could get deep
1368Baby hope you ready
1369I’m coming through
1370Running you
1371That’s what I do
1372Just know that it’s all for you
1373So what you gonna choose
1374Afraid to say okay
1375And I know I’m not gonna get in the way
1376But I’m afraid
1377Who I wanna be is what I became
1378But I’m ashamed
1379Ain’t no coming back
1380Facing what I wanted but it’s all fucking weird
1381At night I’m really scared
1382I ain’t made from the projects
1383But you know I treat the game like a project
1384So you know it’s not the same kind of progress
1385Different process, but I digress
1386Other rappers didn’t blow overnight
1387They ain’t had a nine to five that was totally right
1388They was all up on the grind from the moment they write
1389At twenty five, hadn’t even done a show in my life
1390It’s like, damn, I’m a rapper, how did that happen
1391I was making ads then, back when
1392Only used to rapping to my Mac then
1393Packed venues came through like shoot let’s practice
1394Tryin' tell you I ain’t bred for this shit
1395Despite that, feeling like I’m meant for this shit
1396But like that, everything depends on this shit
1397And I ain’t betting against it
1398But I ain’t had a moment to reflect what I’m betting against it
1399I’m next even though it’s pretentious I sense it
1400Relentless, but it leave me defenseless
1401I guess I should learn to accept it, but it’s hectic
1402Oh you want a condensed list
1403I’m worried that I’m about to give my all to it, hundred percent
1404You ain’t gotta know it all to discover what’s left
1405Pretty fucking intense
1406And I worry that I got a lotta gall when it come to success
1407Telling y'all this a hundred percent
1408But what happens if I fall short of what I call the surest of bets
1409Cause what’s a hundred percent
1410What’s a hundred percent
1411Is that it take a lot to make me content
1412And I’m ‘bout to chase around a legend that I fucking invented
1413While I’m neglecting everybody that I love and respected
1414Because I hate the thought of coming in second
1415And I don’t want to do no second guessing when it come to progressing
1416Because I really couldn’t stomach regretting my effort
1417When I’m at the end and I’m assessing if I could of done better
1418I better be able to be it or never
1419Or be the best ever
1420But if somehow I’m really that special
1421Then I’m about to deal with mad pressure
1422I fear that when I finish my assessment I'mma be in depression
1423Because I’ll see a lot of me as regressing
1424It’s obvious to me to be the best a lot of me is repressing itself
1425I wonder what I’ll see in reflections
1426I wonder if I’ll run into a woman cool with coming in second
1427Or if I’m bound to be the fool at the weddings
1428Alone and regretting the whole thing
1429Now you’re seeing why it’s so big
1430What would y'all do, if y'all were the old me
1431Get involved and you gotta give the whole thing
1432This is no fling, this devoting
1433Every mother fucking part of yourself
1434No matter what ever the cards you was dealt
1435You going all in
1436I don’t know about y'all but I’m gone
1437And I don’t know if I’m ballin' or bawling
1438Look if you let me
1439You know I could get deep
1440Baby hope you ready
1441I’m coming through
1442Running you
1443That’s what I do
1444Just know that it’s all for you
1445So what you gonna choose
1446Afraid to say okay
1447And I know I’m not gonna get in the way
1448But I’m afraid
1449Who I wanna be is what I became
1450But I’m ashamed
1451Ain’t no coming back
1452Facing what I wanted but it’s all fucking weird
1453At night I’m really scared
1454Hello, how can I help you
1455Hi, my name's Dave Burd. I have an appointment today. it's probably under 'Lil Dicky, ' actually. I'm a... I'm a rapper, so...
1456Ok, and who are you here to see
1457Uh, Snoop Dogg Says here Snoop D-o-g-g.
1458Oh, yeah. He's right down the hall. First door to your right. Give him a knock and he should be right with you.
1459Thanks. It's uh, this door right here, right
1460Mm-hmm.
1461Thank you.
1462Grab a seat
1463Thanks I'm Dave very nice to meet
1464Dave, what it do You can call me Dogg
1465Let me just check your sheet
1466No problem, sir, let me just say
1467I'm a big fan of the shit that y'all make
1468I can't lie, I been thinking about this all day
1469All good, there's a reason that we called, Dave
1470Let me start with your background
1471Where you come from
1472Sure, I was undergrad down there in Richmond
1473Before that
1474Oh, you talking bout my hometown
1475Yeah
1476I was born out of Philly grew up in a little silly old town called Cheltenham
1477It was in the suburbs, upper-middle wealth around
1478So real shit you ain't never had to struggle for much
1479I wouldn't say it like that, we just had a different kind of trap
1480Elaborate
1481Well I ain't never had a tool, but I had to be the man at school
1482Like I was doing shit I had to do so when I finished undergrad, I'm cool and I can get whatever job I wanted
1483But the job you wanted wasn't all that bumping
1484Yeah, and I saw it quick all the flaws that be coming when you grow up like that
1485Know you been racing them rats, you ain't been making them raps
1486Boo hoo what a hardship
1487How you paid to get the rap shit started
1488Man, my Bar Mitzvah money
1489But don't diss me buddy, I wasn't one of them younguns up on the block who had nothing to lose
1490I must've wanted this a lot, I had something to choose
1491Look at that, I can say there's something to prove up in your ass
1492Yeah, I guess
1493That's enough of the past, what makes you want to do rap
1494Oh my God, it's the best
1495Bitches let me draw up on their breasts
1496Literally I can reinvent myself
1497I get a forum to project myself
1498It's never boring, every morning I wake up and try to best myself
1499I never got to be suppressed or stealthy to express myself
1500It's kinda healthy
1501Cool, now let me put you through a couple hypotheticals
1502Sure
1503In a club and a couple niggas threaten you
1504Uh, I wouldn't do shit
1505And I don't even get what that got to do with this
1506Shut the fuck up, rap's like life
1507If you wanna do this, then you won't get far acting like a little bitch
1508Nah, that's my niche!
1509Don't get offended by this, but that's the market y'all missed
1510That's the target I'll hit
1511And that's the heart of my pitch
1512I wanna do this whole thing different
1513What the fuck you mean you wanna do the whole thing different
1514Uh, you know, I-I think, like, you know
1515Traditionally people have been doing the job the same kind of way for a long time
1516But traditionally speaking, this shit works, right
1517Nah, like, I get that, but I-I just think that, you know
1518You don't know if it could be working even better
1519And I think you should look at me as an opportunity to find that out
1520I don't mean any disrespect by that
1521I'm just saying I have a different background
1522Like a different perspective way of looking at things than your typical applicant
1523So what are your biggest strengths
1524Well my flow is crazy, I can switch that amazing
1525For example, I can be like ain't nobody fucking with Lil Dicky
1526When he get up on that shit and spit it sick and ridiculous
1527Ripping this shit like it's never been did and the rhythm is never predictable
1528Cause I can switch it, deliver this shit to whatever cadence you bitches prefer
1529Alright, alright, I get it
1530Top of that, lyrically I'm pretty damn clever Go
1531Got a long bottom bitch, called a hoe Neville Whoa
1532And I blow it from the jump, Derrick Rose knee Oh
1533You can say I'm pretty smart how I know better
1534And y'all been winning like Pistorius, there's no feet.
1535Bro, I can go on and on
1536I'm taking over any man like father in laws
1537OK enough of the punchline, that ain't showing me you different from the other guys
1538Well I don't know if they can run it like that
1539But ain't nobody else doing funny type rap
1540What's that
1541Well I can tell a story about my morning
1542Watching Boy meets World and jerking off to Topanga Lawrence
1543Like the 14 year old Topanga
1544Oh this shit like a joke to you
1545I don't get it
1546Nah it ain't like that I just happen to be a nutty abundantly funny type of individual
1547Like it's a guy
1548So when I get up on the mic I ain't finna just lie
1549Real recognize real, right
1550Yeah, I guess
1551So what you trying to do
1552Five years from now, tell me bout the dude
1553Well, I don't care about the money
1554Like, it's the respect that I'm wanting
1555Honestly, I just want to be one of the greats,
1556For they gotta bring ya boy every debate.
1557I don't wanna leave the game the same
1558In a nutshell, what's your legacy
1559Well, I wanna be the dude that came in and made the stand up rap
1560With the random rap and the man like that for the people that was anti-rap
1561Yet the fans of rap started recognizing anti-rap is ironically one of the real brands of rap left
1562That shit sound pretty damn complex
1563I guess, I wanna be the best
1564I just wanna do it my way
1565And turn the whole game sideways
1566And show people you ain't gotta be resigned to the highway
1567You can make a path while these motherfuckers drive straight
1568I ain't mad at that
1569Well thanks, man, that's my plan of my attack
1570Just let me in and I'm a rap the plaques
1571And I ain't about to win them back to back
1572I'm bout to win them like it's back to back to back to back to back
1573Til I stop rapping
1574You ain't even sold a damn album yet
1575True
1576That's a lot of talk from a wiley vet
1577Let alone a young rook nigga
1578You misread me
1579Nah this ain't a book nigga
1580Well that's one of my flaws, I'm too competitive dawg
1581No, you just fucking repetitive dawg
1582I get it, you trying to be better than all
1583But you ain't shit until cheddars involved
1584I get that I gotta prove myself
1585No shit you ain't done shit
1586But think about that though
1587Only doing this a couple of years
1588One tape and I'm like this
1589This shit is aight for your first shit
1590But you don't know if it's your worst shit
1591You don't think finding out would be worth it
1592It might be, it might not
1593But I'm a put your ass to work, kid
1594Wait, like, like I have the job Like really
1595Well one more thing, let me see if you could put a hook together
1596What would you do for the hook for this song
1597You want me to make a hook up right now
1598Do I look like the type of nigga that like repeating himself
1599Alright, uh, okay
1600Man do the hook!
1601I'm bout to be professional
1602Homie, I'm professional
1603Uh, maybe like a low voice type thing
1604Nigga, that shit is garbage man
1605Well, you know, I feel like there might have been some upside to it
1606But I'm not good at thinking of things on the spot like that
1607Don't y'all normally like outsource for that kind of thing sometimes
1608Sometimes, but you know, that was some next level Dogg shit right there
1609Yeah, you know, I'm just way better when I get to think things through
1610Have my like that dual screen action that type of thing
1611Whatever man, you trying to smoke a blunt
1612Right now
1613Yeah
1614Sure
1615Dope. Juanita, bring some weed in here, please. Thank you
1616You got it, Snoop. I'll be right there.
1617Thanks, Juanita. Super nice woman
1618Nigga, why does everything you say sound so soft
1619Uh, I really don't wanna be spoken to like that, so...
1620Whatever. Thanks
1621Hey, I got y'all y'all weed.
1622Damn, that's some great looking weed. It's just so early
1623Can I get you guys anything else while I'm here Coffee Tea Head Bottled water
1624D-Did you just say head
1625Yeah. You ain't never got no head before
1626I mean... Just feels like... A lot, right now
1627Ok.
1628But what kind of tea do you guys have
1629We got mint, raspberry, earl grey, english breakfast...
1630Actually, I'll take head
1631I knew your little dirty ass wanted some head.
1632A.k.a the Time Traveler's Wife
1633s I like to play it cool like I'm not that
1634On the low, who'd assume that I got that
1635I don't know, but the dude with the tall frappe
1636Looking all aloof being all that
1637Even Babe Ruth wouldn't call that
1638I don't even sweat it though
1639They been hesitant as if my credit low
1640And shit'll hit them quicker than an edible
1641I'm 'bout to run for Senate ho, you ain't even centerfold
1642Been on top of cheese, I ain't talking 'bout oregano
1643I'm talking 'bout your cheddar homie, revel in that
1644I'll hit a college and I'm fucked, like I'm pledging a frat
1645They 'bout to silhouette my nuts on American flags
1646Estoy contento, muy estupendo
1647Better hearse word to rent-a-car, Dicky Tony K
1648Y'all the Le Batard speaking to you lames, that's a seminar
1649I'm straight like a pleasant bar, ain't nobody ready for my repertoire
1650I wasn't getting credit like a debit card
1651But never mind, had to give them time to adapt
1652I'm kind of like a rap rendition of a fry in a wrap
1653Just try it as that
1654You rappers Rebel Wilson's vagina, you stank!
1655I take it back, I don't know that ho
1656And bro they used to
1657Look around the boy, wouldn't raised they head
1658Now they looking at the boy like the main event
1659He don't even got a rap sheet, looking like a mathlete
1660How the fuck is he the one that come in with the crack
1661We like Who knew, who knew
1662Used to look at me like who you, who you
1663Now they look at me like Who knew, who knew
1664Now it's Dicky with this, who knew, who knew
1665Now they look at me like
1666I am hip-hop Heisenberg
1667Young boy got dough for a quiet nerd
1668I am rap game Walter White
1669You might get killed thinking that he all polite
1670Buzz around the city, coming out of Philly
1671I'm about to get a milli, being me that's word to milli
1672I'm looking super silly, but cooking like at Chili's
1673You look at me like Really but I look at you like Who that
1674Oh you new here, I'm the bomb
1675Ok I'm Lebron, ok I'm the one
1676Ok all that shit confusing that's a quandry
1677What you call a pussy with a movement, that's a Ghandi
1678I'm tryna get better but science preventing
1679Because I'm undeniably clever, the highest of levels
1680I'm high in a sweater but rhyming like I'm lying in pepper
1681Don't mind the endeavor, I bet I do better than veterans
1682Cheddaring, let him on Letterman
1683Get him on L and I'm on, boy
1684I think I need a therapist the way I get in my dome
1685Doing D like they was Syracuse, when they up in they zone
1686Used to load it on chrome, now I really ball
1687Living like a fucking letter man, never mailing the song
1688Though the dime flow rubbing combos in Tom's shoes
1689With blonde hoes getting Peyton like the Broncos
1690I'm on ho, vanilla looking but the rest of y'all the John Does
1691It's pretty odd bro, cause they used to
1692Look around the boy, wouldn't raised they head
1693Now they looking at the boy like the main event
1694He don't even got a rap sheet, looking like a mathlete
1695How the fuck is he the one that come in with the crack
1696We like Who knew, who knew
1697Used to look at me like who you, who you
1698Now they look at me like Who knew, who knew
1699Now it's Dicky with this, who knew, who knew
1700Now they look at me like
1701I am hip-hop Heisenberg
1702Young boy got dough for a quiet nerd
1703I am rap game Walter White
1704You might get killed thinking that he all polite
1705Get up off my dick, ho
1706That's an unassuming dick, though
1707Get up off my dick, ho
1708That's an unassuming dick, though
1709Who knew, who knew
1710Used to look at me like Who you, who you 
1711Get up off my dick, ho
1712That's an unassuming dick, though
1713Now they look at me like Who knew, who knew
1714Now it's Dicky with this, who knew, who knew
1715Get up off my dick, ho
1716That's an unassuming dick, though
1717LD, AKA The Independent Variable
1718Trap God, and we servin' up the whole world
1719Ay, where the gold at, baby
1720Ay, where the clothes at, baby
1721Ay, where the dough at, baby
1722In the bank but you know I ain't tryna blow that, baby
1723Ay, we gon' save that money I'm so thrifty
1724Ay, we gon' save that money I'm so stingy
1725Ay, we gon' save that money
1726What we do We gon' save that money
1727Rap game got it all wrong
1728We ain't 'bout to go and spend money just to flex on them
1729We ain't really got it like y'all Yeah, baby!
1730I'm a type of motherfucker that'll check the check
1731Do the math, I ain't never gettin' robbed
1732Those margaritas not goin' on my card
1733I ain't 'bout to split a damn thing for convenience sake
1734I'm at the restaurant workin' that waitress
1735Hold up
1736You ain't heard of Lil Dave, Yung L, The Jew Biz Major
1737Fuck you know about the world he was raised in
1738I've been savin' money since a motherfucker thirteen
1739I wear the same pair of jeans everyday
1740Free sandwiches, homie, two stamps away
1741Book flight December but I leave in May
1742Drugs are generic but still work the same
1743I get logins for Netflix from my cousin Greg
1744Thanks Greg!
1745Ay, where the gold at, baby
1746Ay, where the clothes at, baby
1747Ay, where the dough at, baby
1748In the bank but you know I ain't tryna blow that, baby
1749Ay, we gon' save that money I'm so thrifty
1750Ay, we gon' save that money I'm so stingy
1751Ay, we gon' save that money
1752What we do We gon' save that money
1753All of my luggage is Louie V, I swear to God, nigga
1754All of my bitches be scared of me, I put that rod in 'em
1755All of them bitches actin' thoughtless, I disregard 'em
1756All of them bitches actin' holy, ain't got no God in 'em
1757I can teach a lil nigga somethin', like a preacher
1758I can take his ass church fresh as hell, no Easter
1759I can make his ass burp like a baby without no hiccup
1760I can...
1761Quan what's this have to do with saving money though
1762You know a full verse would have been too expensive anyways
1763I think
1764I ain't parkin' that unless the meter green, homie
1765Hair cut several months in-between, homie
1766Hit the motherfuckin' lights when I leave, homie
1767Single ply TP ass bleed
1768Air B&B the mother fucker, least I'm never there
1769I'm not in Cali, why the fuck my company in Delaware
1770Happy hour takin' out the chicken, I don't even care
1771That applies to both dating and wings
1772Peep matinees phone bill got the motherfuckin' fam on it
1773401k rollin' over bands on it
1774Coppin' sweaters in the summer with the sale on it
1775The fuck you rappers bragging bout You overpay for it
1776Ay, where the gold at, baby
1777Ay, where the clothes at, baby
1778Ay, where the dough at, baby
1779In the bank but you know I ain't tryna blow that, baby
1780Ay, we gon' save that money I'm so thrifty
1781Ay, we gon' save that money I'm so stingy
1782Ay, we gon' save that money
1783What we do We gon' save that money
1784I ain't never hit a bar with a cover
1785Low thread count, hard with the covers
1786Free trial memberships though
1787I never join the shiz though
1788Fuck you think this is though
1789Frequent flying like a motherfucking finch though
1790General Tso, half a dozen on the stick
1791Just so I can whet the appetite of dick
1792What you talkin' about
1793My AC never doing nothing, blow fans
1794Walgreens card shoppin' all the off brands
1795Boy go hard when collecting, got Venmo
1796Save every motherfuckin' roach, tryna smoke
1797Check the clothes in my drawers, I ain't playin' around
1798It's LD, lil boy, Mr. Hand-me-down
1799Dirty drawers gettin' worn, can you blame me now
1800You think I got 4.50 up in quarters on me well I fucking don't!
1801Ay, where the gold at, baby
1802Ay, where the clothes at, baby
1803Ay, where the dough at, baby
1804In the bank but you know I ain't tryna blow that, baby
1805Ay, we gon' save that money I'm so thrifty
1806Ay, we gon' save that money I'm so stingy
1807Ay, we gon' save that money
1808What we do We gon' save that money
1809Every time these niggas tryna play
1810And lately I've been stackin' up crazy
1811Stackin' up all about the bands baby
1812800k underneath the bed baby
1813If you at a restaurant and got an iced coffee
1814And the waiter been refillin' that without a word of caution
1815And you get your fuckin' bill and you can see 'em double chargin'
1816For the coffee and you told 'em there's a problem
1817Sing along like
1818Oh don't double charge for me for that
1819Don't double charge me, we like
1820Oh don't double charge for me for that
1821Don't do it to yourself
1822Cause I might just ask what the ice cube's worth
1823What the ice cube's worth
1824That's the only differentiator making this a non-free perk
1825And I might make work more difficult for you than it need be
1826So think about it take a minute let it breathe B
1827But think about it bruh you saw me get the burger with the bacon on the side
1828After looking at the price of the side of just bacon
1829And comparing it to the what the difference in the cheeseburger
1830Vs. the bacon cheeseburger was and making my decision
1831I would hate to be the waiter trying to tell me something different
1832I'm a get on Yelp in a minute and review
1833This piece of shit place like only a kyke know how
1834Unless you take the extra coffee off I might get loud unless you...
1835Oh, it was just an accident
1836You didn't even mean that [snicker]
1837You didn't... that was... that's... I'm so embarrassed
1838Oh well, I'm ignorant
1839But not to the fact that I'm ignorant, of course
1840I know that, I'm indifferent
1841I don't care to know what I don't
1842I don't care 'til I'm coming home
1843And my dad tell me some shit about when he my age, he was doing shit
1844Protesting about something that I forget currently
1845But that's not the point, the point is
1846To my pot, the boy is in the crowd devoid of giving a fuck
1847I would call his bluff but I've been thinking 'bout it
1848And shit, he ain't wrong, though
1849I don't vote but I think I did at prom, though
1850I don't know about a world if it's not home
1851I don't even know the first thing about what Obama do
1852I'm better off telling y'all what Lebron been doing
1853I don't even know what my mom been doing
1854I hit her up every Sunday
1855And we talk, but the call's going one way
1856In the dark, if it's not what I'm doing
1857Never been aware from the start, but I knew it
1858I don't even care how my tech work
1859If the shit work, put it there, turn it on, we can do it
1860Funny thing is I could look it all up today
1861Constructive way to buck behavior Dave hate
1862And placate the debate within my brain waves
1863But the shows I watch all start at 8 so
1864Oh well
1865It's the season finale, so...
1866Oh well
1867I kind of have to watch live, people are gonna tweet about it
1868Oh well
1869But I'm aware of all this stuff, I'll figure it out
1870Oh well
1871I do care when my phone's dying
1872Like, when that shit's red and I can't text
1873And I can't check what my fans said
1874I get mad stressed
1875Laying in the bed but I can't rest
1876Till my gram checked, wish I cared less
1877Leave it at the crib, I'm a damn mess
1878I should stop for a day, wanna try that shit
1879Drifting away, I wanna ride that ship
1880Dinner on the table but I'm unable to be tasteful
1881Underneath, I'm a like that pic
1882Watching the show on a phone, filming Coachella on phones
1883Hoping I capture the moment so I could post it
1884Don't live in the moment, hoping I'm still in control
1885But I'm praying I'm not alone
1886All the fans say I'm great at talking to 'em
1887They don't even understand I am not the man
1888I just can't go a day with being alone
1889When I'm with friends, though, why the fuck am I still on my phone
1890Wishing I could look this shit up on Chrome
1891Wishing I could take a second to stop and reflect it
1892But someone just texted me
1893[Hook 2 - Lil Dicky:]
1894Oh well
1895It's actually like an important text
1896Oh well
1897I'm trying to solve, like, logistical issues
1898Oh well
1899It's time sensitive is what I'm trying to say
1900Oh well
1901[Verse 3 - Jace:]
1902I was gonna do a line, but I sneezed
1903I was gonna smoke, but I need weed
1904I just wanna roll up and then leave
1905But everyone keeps on talking to me
1906Like How's Mike Will You know Rae Sremm
1907I like No Type but I really hate them
1908Like I asked for your opinion when I barely even know what day it is
1909I'm passed through and through on loans and my rent
1910But I just bought new J's and shit
1911Going way fast on a one way road with the window down tryna wave at them
1912My mom says I should go back to classes
1913But I'm in the strip club and I'm clapping asses
1914And my bitch look like Jacqueline Onassis
1915But she lies a lot and can't kick the habit
1916I've tried to stop giving passes to those who front it cause that's living backwards
1917And they give two cents when I ain't even ask them
1918Treat them like exams and I need to pass them
1919I'm twitching dutches, I don't do the backwoods
1920But this gas station don't carry those
1921And I'm tryna smoke, man, how traffic
1922Here's a 20 and some change, man, you can have it like
1923No
1924Oh well
1925Oh well
1926Oh well
1927What's up, y'all
1928It's your boy LD
1929A.K.A. The Original Pancake
1930I'm going the fuck out tonight
1931Off work, 'bout to get trashed
1932Me and my crew all about to get ass
1933Sam coming through with a bottle of the Cap
1934Me and Dean 'bout to tube, Mark taking out the trash
1935Clean up my room, bitches 'bout to peep that
1936Peeing, getting groomed, bitches 'bout to eat that
1937Dean shave my neck, thanks, man, I need that
1938Read through my text, then I itch my kneecap
1939Now I gotta play the game right with Liz
1940Top prospect, met the other night through Tinder
1941Eight o'clock so I think it's only right I hit her
1942With a what you got on tap for the night, delivered
1943While I wait Imma pick a shirt
1944Ain't nobody wearing plaid so I claim it first
1945Mark got a little sad cause his favorite shirt's plaid but fuck him
1946He knows I back off in a reverse
1947Now I'm taking a shot and we drinking and popping a bottle
1948And thinking of all the bitches we gon' haul in
1949Sam say I know a house party and it's popping
1950Bet Imma cop some weird head, Dennis Rodman
1951Oh, yeah, we plotting
1952This is a pregame
1953It's a pregame
1954A classic male pregame
1955Not a weekday
1956So this is when we take
1957Shots and we chasing alternate DJs
1958And that we pray cause
1959And we all get drunk
1960And we get dressed up
1961And we all buy gum
1962And we all gon' fuck
1963Aye, pour me another shot, God damn it
1964I'm tryna get to a place where I can talk to these bitches
1965I got seven shots in me, three condoms on me and immeasurable hope
1966Ten O Clock, words getting slurred
1967Another shot, Sam's tryna hurry
1968Mark's not, says he isn't worried
1969He ain't tryna spend hella bread at the clurb
1970Call him out, since when you using clurb, faggot
1971Mark pouts, something like a herb rabbit
1972Dean smiles, we been doing work
1973Pretty turnt, think he blacked out
1974Lil Dicky burp loud
1975Peep phone, what the fuck, she ain't text back
1976Pretty close to considering a text back
1977Spilling Coke on my shirt that's a red flag
1978Now I gotta change, Mark knows put his best plaid on
1979We debating the top ten in the NBA
1980Disagreeing alot about Lamarcus A
1981Shawshank Redemption popped on, attention all on
1982Sam was like, nah, the party called off
1983I already got a Lyft, I'm going out to a bar
1984Then Mark pulled out a spliff, temptation very hard
1985You know I couldn't resist, we blazing, now the car here
1986And we get fucked up
1987And we all feel rushed
1988And our plans fall through
1989And we in bad moods
1990Man, what time is it
199112:24 And the bars close at 2, lights on like 1:30
1992Let me just think for like a second
1993Sam like, we gotta go, cause the car here
1994Mark like, I don't know, what's the bar deal
1995Dean like, I'm on a roll in Guitar Hero
1996Dicky looking like he about to choke on his lamb gyro
1997Sam looking let down, 'bout to go berserk
1998Mark put his sweats on, now he rolling purp
1999Dean blacked out, he ain't even on the earth
2000I was like, Sam, I was with it with my other shirt
2001Sam bounced, he's like, fuck it, I'm out
2002Me and Mark smoke a blunt, Dean stuck on the ground
2003Text Liz, what the fuck, even snuck in a frown
2004I get the spins high and drunk, I throw up in the shower
2005Now I'm jerking off inside a condom I do that
2006I text my ex say, I miss you often true that
2007Sam back, it's not even one yet, he a dumb mess
2008He about to be a problem
2009I ain't even tripping, I'm Tindering
2010All of a sudden I'm blinking, I'm squinting
2011It's saying it's six in the morning
2012I'm stinking, I'm still in the same shit from last night
2013Got a text from Mark saying:
2014I ain't mad, but I know you’ll clean the bath, right
2015And we get too drunk
2016And we don't have fun
2017Then we eat too much
2018And the next day sucks
2019Like, we really just wake up and spend far too much time shitting
2020So, the whole process just seems flawed
2021Thank you for your time
2022We ain't ever been the mother
2023Fight a stack and get a hundred fifty bitches on deck
2024We the type of dudes that be putting in the effort
2025Just to show them that we better
2026Get the broads like that
2027It's how we do it!
2028Hey bitches
2029Uh, I know I can be a little bit much sometimes
2030But really I just do that shit for the fellas
2031You know, I rap for the fellas
2032But like, this is for y'all
2033I ain't even strong like that
2034So average, I ain't tall like that
2035We just trying to show a little respect
2036Maybe you go for it
2037I'm the one that you need and you just don't know it
2038We ain't never been ballers
2039But we getting pussy with our personality
2040We getting pussy with our personality
2041We getting pussy with our personality
2042Honestly I'm like a seven with my hair long
2043Maybe seven and a half facial hair strong
2044But I make these bitches laugh and I care for them
2045I'm the type of motherfucker pulling out the chair for them
2046I ain't ever been the g at the bar
2047That get them bitches hella wet just by seeing his arms
2048You know the boy about the leg work
2049I plant seeds, I'm a mexicano gardener
2050All I'm saying is I ain't playing the game with these bitches
2051I ain't mean to em, I prefer to show them everything that I can mean to them
2052Lil Dicky thrive with a friend of a friend and I never hesitate to tell them that I love Rent
2053I am not a stud I'm a boyfriend
2054I love love and I cuddle for enjoyment
2055My dick small but I'm telling you it's nothing by the time
2056That we fucking they so emotionally interested they really be cumming
2057Drinking champagne oh you trying to dance babe
2058We can hit the floor I'm bout to show you how to man shake
2059We can make a handshake
2060Keep you safe and walk you to your damn place
2061Then I got you bouncing on my rubber like a trampoline
2062What you doing tomorrow I'm with it
2063I'm a take you to the zoo and be cordialant witty
2064I'm a tell you hella stories and be mindful
2065Bet you get a little horny like the infant rhinos
2066I ain't even strong like that
2067So average, I ain't tall like that
2068We just trying to show a little respect
2069Maybe you go for it
2070I'm the one that you need and you just don't know it
2071We ain't never been ballers
2072But we getting pussy with our personality
2073We getting pussy with our personality
2074We getting pussy with our personality
2075We ain't never been ballers
2076But we getting pussy with our personality
2077We getting pussy with our personality
2078We getting pussy with our personality
2079We ain't ever been the mother
2080Fight a stack and get a hundred fifty bitches on deck
2081We the type of dudes that be putting in the effort
2082Just to show them that we better
2083Get the broads like that
2084It's how we do it!
2085When I get your gchat, that's a wrap hoe
2086Smoke weed, eat the pussy like a snack hoe
2087Bake lays, you on top like a wrap though
2088Bet you think I'm nice in person I ain't talking rap shows
2089We ain't never been ballers
2090But we getting pussy with our personality
2091We getting pussy with our personality
2092We getting pussy with our personality
2093We ain't never been ballers
2094But we getting pussy with our personality
2095We getting pussy with our personality
2096We getting pussy with our personality
2097We ain't ever been the mother
2098Fight a stack and get a hundred fifty bitches on deck
2099We the type of dudes that be putting in the effort
2100Just to show them that we better
2101Get the broads like that
2102It's how we do it!
2103When I get your gchat, that's a wrap hoe
2104Smoke weed, eat the pussy like a snack hoe
2105Bake lays, you on top like a wrap though
2106Bet you think I'm nice in person I ain't talking rap shows
2107I ain't gonna pick you up at the club
2108But if I get bout an hour with you, bet you in love
2109I'll ask questions
2110Oh you did your hair Little Dicky pay attention
2111Oh you getting scared What's the root of all this tension
2112ou know I'd be a hell of a date and if you torn I will split the entrees that you crave
2113And when you bored I can send you Snapchats for days
2114And make them personally for you like they all will be based around the inside jokes we develop in time
2115And if you tired won't initiate the sex it's fine
2116And that bitch goin' love it
2117She goin' tell your ass you legit yo a hubby
2118She goin' tell your ass need to quit your clubbing and go get that youngun
2119While I'm sitting with your dad being slick straight grubbing
2120I can take you out to brunch call me hollandaise
2121Know exactly what you want every holiday
2122I can text you like a motherfucker
2123Wordy and impressive 57 on the Ketchup
2124Hit you when you coming through
2125I ain't even strong like that
2126So average, I ain't tall like that
2127We just trying to show a little respect
2128Maybe you go for it
2129I'm the one that you need and you just don't know it
2130We ain't ever been ballers
2131But we getting pussy with our personality
2132We getting pussy with our personality
2133We getting pussy with our personality
2134We ain't ever been ballers
2135But we getting pussy with our personality
2136We getting pussy with our personality
2137We getting pussy with our personality
2138We ain't ever been the mother
2139Fight a stack and get a hundred fifty bitches on deck
2140We the type of dudes that be putting in the effort
2141Just to show them that we better
2142Get the broads like that
2143It's how we do it!
2144Lil Dicky...
2145T-Pain... We goin' get them hoes one day man
2146We goin' places
2147Like... together
2148Not on a date, but we're goin' places oh OK
2149For instance, I saw this nice looking young lady that I was attracted to sexually in the grocery part of Target.
2150And I wanted to put my penis in her vagina, but I didn't tell her. And that, my friends, is the definition of a motherfucking gentleman!
2151Brain fuck a hood bitch sup, bitch
2152Brain don't give a single fuck no, no, no, never
2153Brain'll look a grown man right up in his face
2154Tell that man he should toughen up knuck or buck
2155Brain fuck a ant mound it's soft yo
2156Brain fuck with cream cheese the spread
2157The Brain fuck with poppy seeds texture
2158The Brain don't even got a penis
2159Swin Cash, balling like a bitch
2160Whoa, Nelly, I'm the shit right now
2161Library tryna get it in
2162Tell that loud li'l bitch pipe down
2163Brain got it on smash
2164Brain got the club jumpin'
2165Brain got it on smash
2166Everyday I wake up, get money, count it up
2167Do the math, Brain about to buy a new dick
2168Brain don't really give a damn at all aw nah
2169Lookin' at your bitch like damn, he wrong him
2170Lookin' at your dick like damn, you soft
2171Lookin' at Lebron James brain like what's happenin'
2172Ayy, Young L, big pimpin', you can call me Shawn
2173Son of rappers, and I'm a bitch
2174You can call me mom
2175Hit me when you need that shit
2176Lil Dicky like the John
2177Jammin' like Lebron
2178Ey, like the Fonz, ey
2179Yo, fuckin' her good, yeah
2180Fuckin' her good, yeah
2181Good as I could, yeah
2182Good as I could, yeah
2183Ay, look at my bitch
2184Look at her lips
2185Look at her good hair
2186Why my girl look like she work for a department store or something
2187Why my girl look like she working for a Macy's
2188Why your bitch lookin' like she work and shop at Ross
2189Where I know you from
2190I seen you, I'm just struggling to place it huh
2191Why I got a bitch butt-naked in the bath tub, while I'm in the shower that's adjacent
2192I can see her contemplating masturbation
2193Hope she doesn't, that'd be weird
2194But I get it woop
2195I also got the neck so long like a giraffe
2196Suck on titties like a calf
2197Went a few rounds like a draft yo
2198Still got bitches
2199Still got bitches yeah, yeah
2200Still not different
2201Still not different yeah, yeah
2202I swear to God I'm bout to fuck Julia Roberts swear
2203I think a star is afoot we should converse
2204Baby I've been down south kickin' shit
2205Outhouse with the shit
2206Mike WiLL told me he was proud of my penmanship thanks
2207Brain feeling limitless
2208Dave, lemme finish this
2209Okie dokie Brain am I great
2210Like an immigrant
2211rain Brain, fuckin fuckin, like like
2212He was Timberlake with his bad bitch Jessica Biel
2213Brain ain't got no dick but she don't care
2214I got no hair
2215Picture Brain rollin' 'round with a broke person, hmm
2216Picture that, yeah
2217Picture Brain rollin' 'round with the windows open
2218Screamin, I'm Brain!
2219Brain got it on smash
2220Brain got the club jumpin'
2221Brain got it on smash
2222Everyday I wake up, get money, count it up
2223Do the math, Brain about to buy a new dick
2224Brain got it on smash
2225Brain got it on smash
2226Brain whoop yo bitch ass
2227Brain gon' whoop yo bitch ass
2228Not yo bitch like your girl, but you
2229You a bitch Brain would never hit a girl
2230Motherfuck your bitch
2231I be looking at her like Fnnnnnn
2232I be looking at her like Eeeeeeeeeegh
2233Lemme get it
2234Lemme get it
2235I be looking at her like Fnnnnnn
2236I be looking at her like Eeeeeeeeeegh
2237Lemme get it
2238Lemme get it
2239Lemme get it fuck
2240Every-every other brain can't even measure up
2241See me then
2242See me then
2243Faggot
2244 You mix some Brain with some LD
2245Never even done cocaine
2246I've never even done cocaine
2247I never even tried it, never even tried it
2248Never even tried it, you know I ain't lying
2249Never even done cocaine
2250I've never even done cocaine
2251I never even tried it, never even tried it
2252Never even tried it, I've been close-minded
2253Party girl, party girl
2254Out in LA with a party girl
2255I was all good with Bacardi, girl
2256Now she tryin' to up the ante
2257I was kinda drunk and handsy
2258Johnson looking long like Randy
2259Hoping that my pitch is strong
2260Now she's like let's do some bumps
2261Ew, chill I don't do that Ew!
2262Poured a rail and she blew that
2263Now I'm scared, I look pussy
2264Spark the blunt 'cause I do that
2265She was sniffing that Tom Hanks
2266I was just sipping Chris Brown
2267She keep on sniffing that Zeus Coke
2268I keep my eyes on the ground
2269She like don't knock it 'till you try it
2270That's some bullshit yeah, I know
2271Just do a line of this Betsy Ross
2272I started thinking, can't deny I'm a pussy
2273Like as a child I was so dissmissive of the baked potato 'till I tried that shit
2274Now the baked potato is my favorite kind potato
2275Now she got me wondering what else I left on the table
2276Twenty-eight, I still ain't done no anal true
2277And I'm unusually skeptical
2278But man oh man this bitch was raw
2279So I asked her for some Molly
2280She like start with Miley
2281I'm like give me Molly
2282Crazy 'cause I
2283Never even done cocaine
2284I've never even done cocaine
2285I never even tried it, never even tried it
2286Never even tried it, you know I ain't lying
2287Never even done cocaine
2288I've never even done cocaine
2289I never even tried it, never even tried it
2290Now I'm doing Molly, I hope I survive it
2291Flippin' a bitch and I'm poppin' this shit and I don't really feel it yet
2292He never done it before and I'm worried I'll feel neglect
2293But I ain't trippin'
2294Balmain, Brain 'bout to get to kissing
2295I'm sauced up, fucking with this breezy boo
2296Haven't eaten since four, man I need some food
2297Why these broke people looking at me you broke
2298I'm feeling good and happy
2299Hold up the Molly kicking in now
2300I think I should sit down
2301Brain for the win now
2302I think we should dip now, girl let me know we should dip
2303Brain overwhelmed losing control of this front lobe hello
2304I was G'd up, now I'm T'd up
2305Like a ball playing motherfucker in Atlanta
2306Shout to Dwight Howard
2307In case she didn't let him ew!
2308And now I'm puking
2309Girl I blew it, but I was just doing my j-o-b
2310Brain, what the fuck is going on
2311The molly got me shakin' and clenchin' on the jaw
2312It got me going crazy
2313It got me going crazy
2314How the fuck you blame me
2315You the one that popped MDMA
2316When you never ever even done cocaine
2317Never even done cocaine
2318Never even tried
2319Oooh Brain
2320I never even done cocaine
2321Never even done cocaine
2322I never even tried it, never even tried it
2323Never even tried it, you know I ain't lying
2324I never even done cocaine
2325I never even done cocaine
2326I never even tried it, never even tried it
2327Never even tried it, I've been close-minded
2328I never even done cocaine
2329Never even done cocaine that Paul Rudd!
2330I never even tried it, never even tried it Sue Bird
2331Never even tried it, you know I ain't lying Meryl Streep
2332I've never even done cocaine Like Joan of Arc!
2333I never even tried it, never even tried it that Ross Perot
2334Never even tried it, I've been close-minded Betty Boop
2335Ay, can y'all turn my headphones down Significantly
2336Cool, that's good
2337It was super loud
2338First of all, this shit about me
2339I ain't made this shit for y'all, that's the damn thing
2340I've been waiting pretty long to get on some shit and rip it for Dicky
2341So just consider this my damn theme song, baby
2342I've been working hella hard, though
2343There's people telling me I'm 'bout to be a star, bro
2344But when I play 'em some of this, they like nobody want the piss, Lil Dicky
2345You the funny kid, that's where your card go
2346That metaphor about my lane, if your retardo
2347I'm bubbling like I'm in a soda, word to Fargo
2348I'm tryna get the fucking fame and it's a tricky little game you gotta play
2349Sometimes you gotta tell your heart No
2350Here's the problem I've been having
2351I wanna make my favorite type of music
2352And the shit I like to bump is not the type I'm brewing
2353I be on that Fuck the world, you motherfuckers losing type of shit
2354Like all you haters, look at what the fuck I'm doing
2355All my favorite rappers not amusing
2356And I love my funny stuff, I hope it's not confusing
2357I'm just saying, when you doing something time consuming
2358Every now and then you wanna spaz
2359Why I didn't go with jazz, muhfucka
2360Get up in yo ass, muhfucka
2361Y'all are trash, ye ain't even know the half
2362I could rattle off a lot of opposition to rap game
2363But honestly I'm not in the position for that plane
2364To carry any weight, I just gotta carry on and wait
2365'Til a motherfucker carry all the weight
2366Hypothetically, though, I prolly tell you that I'm better than your every bro
2367I prolly tell you it's subjective, I'm more impressive
2368You pressing play, a form of respective
2369I'm guessing more or less it won't be competitive
2370Y'all adorable, seditive kind of rappers, so deplorably editive
2371Nothing's worse than when a moron's repetitive
2372I don't get it, how is everyone the same dude
2373The rookie walking on the court like Man, I can't lose
2374They playing Dicky, everybody in the room be like That's some shit
2375Playing yo bum ass, they be like That's some shit
2376Y'all are bubbles with the rapping
2377Lil Dicky get it popping, you could say bubble rapping
2378The irony in all of this is I've been funny rapping
2379Yet the youngin's snapping to the point where all of y'all are funny rapping
2380Congratulations, y'all can write a hook
2381At my graduation, they was saying I could write a book
2382If a Rotten Tomatoes site existed for us rappers
2383I would be a 97, y'all would hover 'round a 64
2384Little Dicky spit that Pixar
2385Hope you seeing why I really like to spit hard
2386Only problem is I'm rapping at rappers
2387To the people that be listening, that world doesn't matter
2388Wanna know what the advantage of the rapper who black is
2389The N-word isn't antagonist
2390Before you get all huff and puff about, think about it, be analyst
2391The fact they always use it's no accident
2392For example, I could be like Go figure
2393I don't think I'm one to fuck with all you ho 
2394Y'all can fill in the blank
2395That don't make it so you don't gotta rap it a rapper
2396That applies to every detractor
2397But even if I had a word like  disturbed
2398It's absurd but I'm looking 'round and ain't nobody verse me
2399I don't think a motherfucker's ever tried to hurt me
2400Every one I see has been supportive on this journey
2401Like where my haters at I'm thirsty
2402I just really wanna talk my shit, be like Y'all ain't shit
2403But y'all ain't shit, like, y'all don't exist
2404I could talk about the people that are dicks but I feel like that's whack
2405That'll get old quick, Robin Williams in Jack
2406Who the fuck is my antagonist
2407Is it you Is it you
2408If it's you, let me tell you something
2409You ain't even got a clue 'bout the shit that's coming
2410You don't wanna be the dude in five years like
2411The fuck, I dissed that
2412Shit was pretty clear, how the fuck I missed that
2413You know that I ain't fucking light, bruh
2414I just fucked round and did this overnight, bruh
2415I just fucked around and quit a fucking job 
2416where I was making triple digits then the comma got involved, dawg
2417This wasn't rapping or trapping
2418This was rapping over a big ol' fucking house with a family
2419Who the fuck is listening  but making Dicky so angry
2420Is it you Is it you
2421I'm just waiting on some nonbelievers
2422The writing isn't on the wall, it's coming out your speakers
2423Anybody disagree, I'm being so facetious, homie I mean it
2424Forget the website, I'm the only motherfucking rap genius
2425Where you doubters at, I'm tryna hear it
2426Maybe it's the motherfuckers never paying mind to lyrics
2427I would dumb it down for y'all to try make it more appealing
2428But the ones who hang on every word think I'm kinda fearless
2429But even with no attention, you can kinda tell this motherfucker killing this section
2430You can kinda tell this motherfucker still an erection
2431But getting harder by the minute, just admit it, it's sexy
2432The funny fact about this shit, I gotta rap 
2433about the fact I wanna rap about this shit to even rap about this shit
2434Nobody been sleeping on Dicky
2435It's only been a year and bitches been sleeping on Dicky
2436Nobody took over the tape with they first tape
2437This motherfucker hasn't struggled since the first grade
2438Add it up, there's no excuse to berserk, Dave
2439Can't debate this shit, you got to skip, you not on first tape
2440So what the fuck am I mad for
2441What's some other shit that I could actually spaz for
2442Maybe it's the fact that I've been stuck in this lab for
2443A hundred fucking days straight cooking up raps or
2444The fact this shit been taking over every thing in life
2445I gotta make it so I made the call to leave it all behind
2446That's my girl, that's my world, that's beyond being busy
2447Now the only one that gets to David Burd is Lil Dicky
2448See, I told you this about me
2449Go on and look up in the mirror, see with LD
2450Who you hate, boy
2451Only care about me, said I'm straight, boy
2452Maybe I'm the one that gotta hit when I wanna murder shit
2453Y'all probably thinking Who is David Burd and shit
2454Y'all just wanna hear some LD
2455But I ain't made this shit for y'all, that's the damn thing
2456Hey, man... man
2457Hey... hey
2458I guess y'all on board
2459Young Man couldn't leave that shore
2460Had the life they made for him 'til he seeked out more
2461Boat rock, couldn't see that storm
2462Held it up, dawg
2463He know he close
2464It's too late to jump ship Hey
2465Aw, damn! Aw, damn!
2466You that motherfucker shit
2467I know
2468This here became a trip, Cabo
2469Up in the womb, but you can feel it when I kick it, I know
2470And you too U2 must be rockin' with Lil Dicky, Bono
2471It's like I hit the lotto
2472I had to hit the wall though
2473I couldn't see it for a minute
2474Shit was hidden, Waldo
2475They treat it like I'm goin' crazy
2476I'm just prayin', I don't
2477It's just I know
2478It's just I know
2479I saw the world like, Hold up
2480Damn near fakin' on the side
2481Let me take you on a ride
2482Let me tell you bout the one who couldn't take the 9 to 5
2483Use to take the 95 down to Richmond
2484Bumpin' Jigga up in the ride
2485Use to think along and drive
2486'Bout my drive
2487Used to wonder why
2488Used to wonder when the world'l see like I'm seein' mine
2489Use to whine
2490Use to wanna shine
2491Used to wanna dine
2492Used to talk to bitches in my mind when they were walkin' by
2493Girl, what's happenin' Girl what's happenin'
2494I ain't really 'bout to get involved that's what's happenin'
2495Errything I knew was unevolved like a Baptist
2496Layin' on my matress
2497Prayin' I could have this, and
2498Now when I get Tinder matches
2499They think they've been Catfished
2500Now I been controlling how we livin' like a facist
2501Now I got this weight up off my shoulders like a strapless
2502Remember this shit was hapless
2503Remember the day it happened
2504Aw, you the shit Dave, you be killin' everything you did
2505Got the whole world talkin' all about what you did
2506Got your old girl talkin' all about what you is
2507Got your old world lookin' like it's his you ain't here
2508I been fuckin' for the fuck of it
2509And one of the bitches I been fuckin' with
2510Been wondering how I can work this much and stomach it
2511She wonders what I want from it
2512I said, We don't gotta get into it
2513She like Nah, just do it
2514She a psychology student
2515She always followin' up
2516Find the guy to be amusing as fuck
2517Usually I'll answer her truthfully
2518But truthfully, I'm unusually used to being unusually good at internalizing when music is not provided
2519But I humor hoe
2520Ask her if she ever saw the Truman Show
2521She like yeah
2522I like well, when I saw that shit I was convinced I was livin' like Jim
2523A similar situation where I was the basis of everyone's entertainment
2524Like really up in the basement talkin to y'all
2525In the mirror because I thought Lil David was some American hero
2526I know it's selfish and all
2527But I just felt it's my call
2528I was a ten year old then
2529By 2010 I was wrong
2530I'm like
2531Aw, damn! Aw, damn!
2532You the motherfucker though
2533I know
2534That shit became a trip, Cabo
2535Up in the womb, but you can feel it when I kick it, I know
2536And you too U2 must be rockin' with Lil Dicky, Bono
2537It's like I hit the lotto
2538I had to hit the wall though
2539I couldn't see it for a minute
2540Shit was hidden, Waldo
2541They treat it like I'm goin' crazy
2542I'm just playin', I don't
2543It's just I know
2544It's just I know
2545Twenty three bars up in my apartment
2546I am debarred
2547Gotta do this shit
2548I gotta recharge
2549But I gotta be smart
2550Movin' up that ladder company
2551Star, fuck it, that ain't nothin'
2552I am *the* star
2553Spittin' like a retard
2554Work was like a prison
2555I'm just seein' bars
2556My boss was all up in my camp
2557And I'm just seein' Lars
2558I been a heavyweight, Muhammad Ali
2559And if he can mold that out of Clay
2560Then I can turn the Lil D
2561So now I'm snappin' like I'm Truman
2562But off and on
2563There's always somethin' in the way
2564I should be often gone
2565Girl I'm sorry if this draggin'
2566I just need you to imagine
2567Bein' stuck up on the land without a captain
2568When everyday is average
2569And everyday you feelin' like a captive
2570And feel like somethin' seriously lackin'
2571And then you fear what could happen if you just leave it on the table like napkins
2572But, yo, you really fearin' hitting them rappin's and leaving everything behind
2573Cause you don't know what that horizon brings
2574But girl you gotta know what kind of fish you is
2575Survival instinct kicked in
2576Sink or swim
2577I flipped a playlist
2578Quit my day gig
2579Now, I'm on a boat, Lonely Island
2580Irony, and you still been tryin' to figure how I work this tirelessly
2581But girl
2582This is everything I've thought
2583This for everything I've fought
2584This for who I am to me becomes to y'all
2585Go
2586They tellin' me nah
2587But I just be tellin' them yeah Go
2588I just be tellin' them yeah Go
2589I just be tellin' them yeah
2590Tell 'em I'm gone Yeah
2591I just pretend I ain't scared Go
2592Don't even know I was there Go
2593Don't even know if I care
2594Cause girl this is Truman approachin' the wall
2595Until I'm me I am nothin' at all
2596Until I'm free I will not see beyone
2597I had to be who I was all along
2598Ay [crash]
2599I think I mighta broke it down
2600Hoppin' on the fuckin' steps like ain't no around
2601Open up that door, you bet, ship ain't goin' down
2602Guess the only thing left is to take a bow
2603Aw, damn! Aw, damn!
2604You that motherfucker shit
2605I know
2606This ship became a trip, Cabo
2607Up in the womb, but you can feel it when I kick it, I know
2608And you too U2 must be rockin' with Lil Dicky, Bono
2609It's like I hit the lotto
2610I had to hit the wall though
2611I couldn't see it for a minute
2612Shit was hidden, Waldo
2613They treat it like I'm goin' crazy
2614I'm just prayin', I don't
2615It's just I know
2616It's just I know
2617Just I know Fuck! Just I know echo
2618That felt good
2619Well, that's all I got
2620The show is over, as they say
2621Honestly, I just think that part in the Truman Show where his boat hits the wall is really the exact
2622Moment that I'm at in my own life right now
2623Uh... metaphorically, of course
2624And I'm ready for - I think I'm read for it
2625Like I've been thinkin' about it, I think I'm ready
2626I mean, if I'm being completely transparent with y'all
2627Uh, like my lifestyle hasn't really changed that much
2628Uh, you know, considering, uh, where I think I'm at musically
2629Like I'm still at the point right now where pretty much any bitch that tweets at me anything remotely flirtatious
2630I have seen not just one of your pictures, I have seen the entire catalog
2631That's the type of shit that's goin' down over here right now, so...
2632I am definitely ready for that, uh, next step, y'know what I'm sayin'
2633I think it's close, too
2634I think it's close
2635Like, uh, Diddy tweeted about me
2636Uh, y'know, that... I don't know if he handles his own Twitter
2637I would assume he probably doesn't, actually
2638But, like, I'm so confident that I feel as though, like, me and Diddy will have a moment just about this outro
2639Like when we're both sittin' next to each other smokin' cigars
2640And bein' like, Ay, remember when you said that shit on that outro
2641Like, and I'm like, Yeah. That's, this is the exact moment I - I did that for, y'know what I'm sayin'
2642Bring the - bring the beat back up. I don't know why
2643Like, keep, loop everything. I wanna be talkin' for minutes, yeah, uh, y'know what I'm sayin'
2644Like, uh, shout out my Macbook Pro
2645Had that shit since '09
2646I made my first song ever on it
2647Like, when I called myself Lil Dicky
2648I made my, like, fuckin' album song on that shit
2649And we survived, baby
2650Uh, shoutout Allen Iverson, Larry David, Will Smith, and Kobe Bryant
2651For makin' me the man that I am today
2652Both on and off the court
2653Shout out my mother
2654What a great woman
2655She's so mad I recorded these conversations
2656She - she honestly went crazy
2657It took so much convincing to allow this
2658But, she's awesome
2659She's adapting to the rap game, as we all are
2660Look, I just want to get this to a place where I can sell TMZ pictures of my actual asshole
2661Heh, y'know
2662Cause, well, I, I think that'd be such a feat
2663If I could actually create, like, an alt alias
2664And sell TMZ pictures of my own asshole
2665Like, profit off of that
2666That, I would totally do it
2667I don't know why Seth Rogen's not already doing it
2668I don't, I'm seein' the signs that it's not, I'm
2669I think I'm seein' the signs
2670I hope I am
2671If I'm really just misreading all these signs
2672Then, I am 100% gonna have, like, a legitimate nervous breakdown
2673Uh, at some point very soon
2674So, we'll find out about that
2675But I see some signs
2676Like, like I really am not fuckin' that much
2677But, like, the other day I did fuck a bitch to music
2678Like, I fucked a bitch to some Miguel
2679And that's kind of new for me if I'm bein' real
2680Like, I had never actually done it before
2681But I was feelin' like I was some king shit
2682Y'know what I'm sayin'
2683So, I was like, Man, Imma fuck this bitch to some Miguel right now
2684Uh, actually to be completely real to you, I, I will never fuck a girl to music again
2685I found the whole thing to feel, like, completely cliche
2686Like, I don't need my emotions dictated to me by, like, music
2687It makes me feel like I'm in a TV scene
2688Takes all the, like, realness out of the moment for me
2689Like, actually, was actually super weirded out by it
2690So, but still, like, I am about to let my hair down
2691And, I don't know, I just feel like it's all comin'
2692I feel like, like, I'm literally, like, about to find out about everything
2693And it's exciting
2694And, I, y'know, I, I had pinkeye last week
2695And I remember thinkin' that, as I, like, was like, real down
2696Cause I was, like, trying to keep recording and shit
2697But I was thinking, What would Michael Jordan do
2698And he would play through the pinkeye
2699So that's why I'm in here
2700I'm still not fully recovered, y'know what I'm sayin'
2701I, I'm definitely clearin' up
2702Like, it's totally on the upswing
2703But, I just want you know I did record this shit through pinkeye
2704Alright, I could talk for fuckin' years
2705Legitimate years
2706This is an outro to an out
2707You see how long I talk with outros to songs
2708But, goddamn
2709Look, I need to get out of here
2710I'm 'bout to go take a Khalifa
2711Rest up
2712That's right, I did invent that phrase just there
2713Take a Khalifa
2714Y'know what I'm sayin'
2715I also invented That's what she said
2716But I get no credit for it
2717Uh, oh, shoutout to Dickheads, obviously
2718Fundin' this whole operation
2719Whatchu know about a Kickstarter, man
2720Whatchu know about the best fans in the world
2721Seriously
2722Thank you guys, I appreciate it
2723Honestly, you made my dreams come true, and that's fact
2724Couldn't have done this without y'all
2725Uh, I'd like to shoutout my dick
2726I know, y'know, we haven't had the smoothest relationship
2727But, I feel as though by kind of putting our issues out there
2728Like, we have become something bigger than we could have become otherwise
2729And, hopefully soon you will be rewarded for your patience
2730And I will be rewarded for my patience
2731I, and, I respect you
2732I'd like to shoutout my brain
2733My brain got the hardest verse on the whole goddamn album
2734I hope my brain starts gettin' some feature looks
2735But he don't just hop on shit
2736Fuck, I, I got nothin' left
2737I'm out
2738I'm a professional rapper
2739Long live LD
2740And in case I don't see ya
2741Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.
2742People are always saying to me
2743Hey Cream, how do you come up with the stuff you come up with Because it's so cool
2744And it's not even me
2745It's Brain!
2746Fuckin' with these hoes I'm a popular dude
2747Got some hot top like the popular do
2748Rest in peace B.I.G. but I'm Pac and I'm smooth
2749'Bout to go after two, I'm a hoe after two
2750And look, I still get chose like I'm rockin' a suit
2751I don't know if I prefer like a blonde or brunette
2752You get held up pickin' locks, robbery moves
2753I be scoffing at you like a prosperous jew
2754Hold up, Brain 'bout to spaz
2755What the fuck you want Brain do
2756Come through and the club's all crowded fuck
2757Fuck you want Brain do when he can't even move when he in the club
2758Brain gotta make moves fuck up out the way homie
2759Brain got great moves where you seen me dance dog
2760The Brain fuck with field hockey what a sport
2761The Brain knew Bin Laden
2762How you wanna do it, how you stoppin' the kid
2763Just get it off your chest, rockin' a bit, chomp at the bit
2764I got to get another property, monopoly shit
2765And y'all sketchy motherfuckers like a comedy bit
2766I just met with Netflix on some comedy shit
2767Then I went to Costa Rica on a tropical trip
2768Parents worry 'bout the price, started talking and shit
2769But it's a nominal hit peanuts, make it back in a jiff
2770Because
2771Brain just been whippin' it up
2772Brain just been whippin' it up
2773Brain just been whippin' and whippin' and whippin' and
2774Brain just been whippin' it up
2775Brain just been whippin' it up
2776Brain just been whippin' it up
2777The Brain thought of that one
2778The Brain whipped it up, Brain whipped it up
2779These rappers like Barry Melrose
2780We don't dislike you, we just don't really care
2781The Brain came through with a bottle of the Nair
2782Made my bitch rub it all over her pussy
2783My bitch likes Bun B
2784That's some new shit to me
2785Bitches that I used to be fuckin' with would only fuck with Houston's for grub and they frumpy
2786Brain The Brain heard about tidal wave in Seattle
2787They say it's imminent still no-one moved
2788The Brain just don't know why they don't think it matter
2789Humans can't breathe underwater, what gives
2790[Lil Dicky Brain:]
2791Y'all wanna know why I stopped eatin' pussy Tell 'em
2792'Cause I looked up the facts
2793If 85% of us have oral herpes who am I to say that I don't True
2794And if I get oral herpes on the pussy and we fuck
2795Then I'm fucked Fuck
2796Fuck you want Brain do
2797He know all the facts, what the fuck you want Brain do
2798Middle of the pack, all you rappers is gum
2799Going in with the trash, I be chewin' 'em up
2800Brain fucked a thoroughbred down in Preakness
2801Like a horse, I ain't talkin' 'bout a bitch with a ass
2802Brain hear it all the time, he a genius
2803Hey, you a savvy motherfucker Brain, giving you that
2804I'm the type of motherfucker on a call with a CMO
2805Bitches tryna catch a glimpse, bitches at Sia shows
2806Girls look at me and think How does he fuck
2807Bet they heard through the grapevine
2808In daytime, I take dimes like a paid line, and make time
2809It's they prime, hittin' on the jew like it's a hate crime
2810Speaking of that, they won't even book me in Dubai Why
2811Apparently for jews it can be hostile
2812So my new goal is to buy like, Dubai like
2813All of it
2814I don't know, I just wanna go there
2815Brain just been whippin' it up
2816Brain just been whippin' it up
2817Brain just been whippin' it up
2818Brain just been whippin' it up
2819Brain just been whippin'...
2820Oooh Brain is overwhelmed, he's fuckin' up, ohh Brain
2821Brain just been whippin' it up
2822Brain just been whippin' it up
2823Brain just been whippin' and whippin' and whippin' and
2824Brain just been whippin' it up
2825Feel like we goin' crazy
2826Feel like we goin' crazy
2827Real life we goin' crazy
2828Suck me, fuck me, drive me crazy
2829Cool Brain
2830Y'know, I think you might be better off
2831Focusing just a bit more
2832What, whatchu mean I'm f-
2833I'm locked in bro I'm
2834Whatchu mean
2835No it sounds cool and all I'm just saying
2836Like you know
2837Maybe it could be a little less random
2838Or if you-
2839Man, don't get all high and mighty at me bro
2840My shit a wave bro
2841Fuck outta here
2842No totally and I like your music
2843I think it's-- I like it
2844I just think I'd love it
2845Man
2846Let's just come up with some ideas for you
2847Like song topics and shit that's what you sayin
2848Yeah exactly let's brainstorm some topics
2849Ohhh no you said brainstorm
2850Uhh yeah just a brainstorm
2851Brain gotta think
2852Brain don't even know
2853What's going on
2854Usain Brain, they call me Usain Brain cuz I'm fast
2855Brain in the club
2856Brain thinking up stuff
2857Brain pourin up
2858What's going on man
2859Tell 'em Brain! Heyyy!
2860It's a brainstorm
2861It's a brainstorm
2862Time to think of some ideas
2863It's a brainstorm
2864It's a brainstorm
2865Everybody know the drill
2866Oh it's a brainstorm
2867It's a brainstorm
2868Time to get my ass in gear
2869Brain don't even know
2870But the Brain don't even know
2871But the Brain don't even know
2872What the fuck is happening
2873Brain so overanalyzed
2874Scrutinizing every single move
2875So weird
2876The Brain had no further questions Your Honor I object
2877Well I can testify
2878There was a brainstorm
2879There's a brainstorm
2880Time to think of some ideas
2881We in this it's a brainstorm
2882It's a brainstorm
2883Everybody know the drill
2884Oh it was a brainstorm
2885It's a brainstorm
2886Everybody know the drill
2887Woah Nelly it's a brainstorm
2888It's a brainstorm
2889Better bring your best ideas
2890What the fuck was that
2891Did you even come up with anything or no
2892No, not yet, but the process is underway now
2893So any minute
2894I should be cookin' I should be whippin' it up
2895Alright, take your time
2896It's your process just let me know
2897I'm always down to help whip or whatever you need, so
2898I'll be, I'll be in the kitchen
2899Whatchu want, whatchu gonna make
2900Nah, I'm actually just gonna clean the kitchen
2901Oh alright, bet
2902You say bet now
2903Yeah
2904Alright, see you later Brain
2905Hey man, the way these bitches when they fuck on us
2906This shit, the friction in this shit hurt bro
2907You gotta talk to them bro
2908Ok
2909I tell her, I tell her, I tell her
2910Chill, girl. We should chill, girl
2911You been humpin' on me too fast, keep it real girl
2912The brain on the same page
2913Fucking another one, Damn, LD how do you slow a hoe down
2914I'm 'bout to show a hoe how
2915Baby girl, let's slow it down yeah
2916Drill her when I'm in it, I admit it
2917But I hate it when these bitches ridin' dick super quick
2918Aggressive ass movements hurt my dick ow
2919I don't know why, just the way my dick was built oh
2920Getting the impression when they get up on erection that they think it'd be impressive just to go full tilt fast
29210 to 100 bitches going full Wilt
2922Seriously afraid that my dick might wilt hurts
2923Out and 'bout with my Spanish bitch
2924Throw that hoe a middle management at the Radisson
2925Why she hoppin' on the brain like a savage bitch
2926She fuck me ravenous
2927I'm assessing damages, shit
2928Coronating all the money bags
2929Coronating all the fucking ass
2930Orating, I don't like it fast
2931Pores chafing when she fuck me fast
2932And the Brain don't even got no dick
2933Woah But I got a dick, and I'm tryin'a do it like this
2934Let me fuck slow on you girl
2935Let me fuck slow on you girl
2936Where them hoes lookin' bomber than a landmine
2937Will my bros that be fuckin' on 'em stay alive
2938Let me fuck slow on you girl chill, girl
2939Let me fuck slow on you girl said chill, girl
2940And the Brain got them bitches on stand-by
2941And the Brain getting hungry Raisin Bran time
2942Chill girl, we should chill, girl we should chill, girl
2943I've been looking at them ol' breasts since they real, girl
2944Thinking through the words like I read it
2945Esketit like a Brain, if you see a tight end then he toss like Bennett
29461 in 7 down, going down like credit
2947Don't get shook like lettuce lettuce
2948Brain tryin'a get fucked
2949Brain tryin'a get sucked
2950Brain been lit for a month
2951Fucked a bitch on that kiss cam
2952Yeah I been doing my thing
2953LD now they been checking for Brain
2954Hey, we should go flirt with this dame, kay
2955She should come flirt with the Brain
2956But this bitch has it all like a Genuardi's
2957Now my mouth is watering just like my spot for Hardee's
2958I'ma go chill with the girl be back  all day
2959Young L, I got a knack for hauling that
2960I might even get up in the bathroom stall with that
2961Please, you ain't been fucking like Brain
2962I got this shit like a car alarm when that car is parked around thieves ooh
2963Got this shit like gardener that's in charge of all of your trees ooh
2964Young LD got a poppin ass shirt check
2965Backstory, kinda poppin, where's my work check
2966I might even go up to the bar and cover her check
2967And then you'll say what
2968Let me fuck slow on you girl
2969Let me fuck slow on you girl
2970Where them hoes lookin' bomber than a landmine
2971Will my bros that be fuckin' on 'em stay alive
2972Let me fuck slow on you girl chill, girl
2973Let me fuck slow on you girl said chill, girl
2974And the Brain got them bitches on stand-by
2975And the Brain getting hungry, Raisin Bran time
2976I fuck, I fuck with Raisin Bran so heavy
2977That shit hard
2978Brain
2979Brain, you're so cute
2980Aight
2981I just..I felt really in the moment there, the way the light is just glistening off of your creases
2982I...I'm tryna focus, bro
2983Okay, okay. Can I do one song like without you on this project
2984Without me
2985No, it'll still be your song, but you'll be more like a DJ Khaled of it. Like..the organizer, the facilitator as oppo- like you pick the rappers but I just wanna go really hard like really bad without you be-
2986What makes you think I'd even pick you, bro
2987Well, c'mon, Brain. We both know that you would pick me
2988Well this shit better be hard, bro
2989AKA homicide
2990Yes, homicide
2991OG's knew I had it poppin'
2992IG lookin' Photoshopish it's lit, it's real
2993They just can't take charge so they floppin'
2994New shit looking like it's knocking
2995Rap game, not a game, well I ain't broke so it's cast off
2996Really I been keepin' shit a hunnid like the Cubbie tryin' to close it with a fast ball
2997I don't even do this shit for money but they buying it in droves like it's half-off
2998If Dicky gotta show out there
2999You know he 'bout to show out there
3000Rol on my arm
3001Russ on a farm
3002Piston, new guard
3003They put the boy on the Jumbotron
3004Just to pump up the crowd
3005At my ten year reunion, like look at me now
3006Having good sex on the reg
3007New Tempur-Pedic, my bed
3008All of my lawyers are black
3009Shit is ironic as hell
3010But I guess that what happens when Jews started rappin'
3011Used to have turtles, no wonder I'm snappin'
3012Used to commercial, right, used to play Madden
3013No wonder they let me do both for a bag
3014I was not in a frat, I had never conformed
3015In a 2000 cab I had never performed
3016I ain't takin' no L's
3017Fuck what you sell
3018I barely pay for my drinks, doin' well
3019I tell 'em there is no need for the glitz
3020I don't need sparklers, they know that I'm lit
3021I'm on top of the world, fuck all these girls
3022I prefer momma to play with my curls
3023I can tell all of you rappers ain't thorough
3024Head hit the pillow and boom it's tomorrow
3025But how can you sleep ew, ew
3026How can you sleep ew
3027How can you sleep gross, how
3028How can you sleep how ew
3029How can you sleep how gross
3030How can you sleep how ew
3031How can you sleep how ew
3032You still asleep
3033How many bitch ass rappers I gotta slap 'till they put on Worldstar
3034Even though Q passed away
3035Pull a '38 out of my pocket and then cock it
3036Leave a nigga on an island like he in Castaway
3037Cock strong since them old Doc songs thug life
3038Like an old Pac song, outta my mind
3039The lights on, but I'm not home
3040Something is wrong with me
3041I done brought six strippers from Vegas home with me
3042Trees bought game to getting blown with me
3043FaceTime with Karrueche, they on the phone with me
3044Tell K good night, I'm hype, I might ignite
3045Plastic cups, Promethazine and Sprite
3046Man I don't really know who's song this is
3047Who's weed I'm stealing and who's bong this is
3048And I don't really give a fuck 'cause I keep the ammo tucked and you can keep on swinging from my nuts
3049But don't say I can't rap like I'm not a Rap God
3050Like I won't break your fucking favorite rapper's rap jaw
3051I don't give a shit
3052Big or tall, short or small
3053I'll cut your dick off and sit it on Trump's wall
3054Then spraypaint Fuck the President it's evident
3055Hip Hop dead, them new niggas irrelevant
3056Different color braids, you niggas stuck in the maze
3057Ain't grew up by a beach, to say you ridin' a wave
3058Man, I'm so glad that Guwop out
3059And rap fans still give a fuck what 2Pac 'bout
3060I'm right here, I don't give a fuck who hop out
3061Don't let Mark Zuckerberg get you knocked out
3062And don't try me over IG
3063Don't try to be subliminal and get it by me
3064I'm a criminal, I'll leave you hooked to a IV
3065Next to Jimmy Iovine over hood shit, but-
3066We could start with rap shit
3067I ain't never lost at that shit
3068Let me clear it up, Proactive
3069I could walk up in this motherfucker looking everybody dead up in the eye, like we can rap for that shit
3070You'll get embarrased
3071I'll be in Paris, don't compare us
3072Flow the rarest
3073Got bitches in the bed room, over sharing
3074Got an Aussie and a Brit like I’m going with Sharon
3075So apparent, Heir apparent
3076But I don't want it next
3077Someone tell Complex it ain't complex
3078And what you lookin' at is now like a Timex
3079I am checked the on now off the clock like compound
3080I'm really adamant, you're really adequate
3081I'm really passionate, I'm Billy Madison
3082I'm the motherfucking graduate
3083Twenty ten with a pen, I didn't plan this shit
3084My plan legit, I manuscript it
3085It was living by the candle stick
3086But for the plaques I had to mantle it
3087All my friends thought Dicky was a joke
3088Now they tryin' to see a show
3089Now they out of breath, tryna speak good
3090I remember everyone that didn't think I could
3091Every publicist who thought that I was mocking hood
3092Look what what you were tryin' to stopping jerk
3093Look who tryin' to rap now
3094I don't even fuck with you
3095If what's done is done, how come I ain't done with you
3096And if it's fucking done, come on how dumb is you
3097Let me get another tissue
3098I'll be crying 'till the fucking bank pull that card again
3099From Charlamagne to Busta, Game, to Puff, to Sway, Questlove, T-Pain, from Snoop to Chainz, it's all the same
3100Ain't no debate, they know who fake, they know who great
3101You don't know your place
3102Cameras around me, they don't know your place
3103Shooters around me 'cause I entertain
3104I got 'em shooting they movie
3105I could meet a bitch on a Tuesday
3106Girls come to me
3107Don't got jewelry
3108Don't feel bad when I bust in my jacuzzi
3109Don't eat ass but it still be lookin' juicy
3110Front page, coming at you like a news'ie
3111Hoes didn't choose me, now I'm choosing
3112Now I got a Jap on knees like sushi
3113Lil' dick got vert, no Uzi
3114I might just pop that coochie, bruh
3115OG's knew I had it poppin'
3116How can you sleep Ew
3117How can you sleep
3118Just saying yuh sounds like you're jocking Drake
3119So annoying
3120Illa, illa, illa, illa, L
3121Yuh, yuh
3122I used to go out to the Y, Friday nights
3123On the outskirts of Philly
3124I'm dropping dimes to this night
3125In the outskirts you feel me
3126And I done been saving my good shit up
3127Old bitches now, yeah they would get up
3128Winklevoss twins, yeah I could get fucked
3129Chinese food, yeah I could get duck uh
3130Brain give a fuck 'bout an old bitch
3131Brain give a fuck 'bout dat hoe
3132Brain got head on the snowlift
3133Brain cold ipso facto
3134Brain go in', I'm ballin' ooh
3135Brain go in', I'm ballin'
3136One, two time for the sixers
3137If this bitch get off on the wrong foot
3138Put her on the bench for a lil Ben Simmons
3139 could ride wood like Jah, doe
3140Still gotta lick gelato
3141Feel like I hit the lotto
3142Brain never bag a proper
3143Brain fucked Aunt Jemimah
3144I don't get head on the freeway
3145That is forbidden like ebay
3146She playing with Jimmy like D Wade
3147She wanna stop at the B.K
3148We don't go out, she a cheap date
3149I'm straight to the ass like a cheesecake
3150We run this shit back like a replay
3151Mutual orgasm, we came
3152Wait, could I be Jesus
3153Wait, could I be Jesus
3154Hey, could I be Jesus no way, no way, no way
3155Hey, could I be Jesus
3156Wait, could I be Jesus
3157Holy like Jesus
3158I might be Christ
3159Oh, my word
3160Oh, my God
3161I was overweight today but now I'm a model
3162I don't eat the pussy for free
3163Touchy, I get pussy, I be fucking these streets
3164Ichiar deli my P got a nut out the purple like jelly
3165I'm buzzin', buzzin' like a left behind celly
3166My DM x-rated like critics, the belly
3167I got the coldest cuts around like a deli ah
3168Used to be in love with Aliyah
3169Used to be in love with Daria
3170Shit on these rappers like diarrhea
3171Brain with the dope like a mob boss
3172Chapo Chapo Chapo Brain
3173Stay with the peace like Gandhi
3174Blocka blocka, know what I'm sayin' yah Brain like Mike, like Shad Moss
3175Brain like, might like shamone
3176Brain might fuck your bitch
3177When he done, might ask your ex for a ride home
3178Rollin' up the bud, rollin' up the club, rollin' up the work
3179Pourin' up the Bud, blowin' up the drug
3180Leavin' out the back, damn this work
3181Haven't thrown a punch in about five years
3182Last time I did I broke my wrist
3183On my friend Glen's butt
3184Damn, that sucked
3185Had to jerk off with the left hand
3186But you learned your lesson!
3187Ain't nobody in my category
3188I'm inventive with I'm with it like it's Scattergories
3189I was over-doubted, now I'm overcrowded
3190But I'm extroverted, don't you ever doubt it
3191Gotta lot of money, but I never count it
3192Competition fun, but they ain't never 'bout it
3193I was searching for it but I never found it
3194Like an Oreo up in a power outage
3195Let's go!
3196Wait, could I be Jesus
3197Wait, could I be Jesus
3198Hey, could I be Jesus no way, no way, no way
3199Hey, could I be Jesus
3200Wait, could I be Jesus
3201Holy like Jesus
3202I'm like the cross
3203Oh, man
3204Hope I'm not Jesus
3205But I also wanna get sucked
3206Brain
3207Lil Dicky, ooh
3208Mustard on the beat, ho
3209I woke up Chris Breezy, oh my god I'm the man oh shit
3210I'm so fly and I can dance whoa, whoa shit
3211There's tattoos on my neck oh, oh
3212I just FaceTimed Kanye blip, blip
3213I told him I'm his biggest fan yeah yeah
3214Got all these hoes in my DM yeah, I do, hold up
3215Holy shit, I got a kid oh!
3216Oh, I can sing so well
3217Wonder if I can say the n-word wait for real
3218Wait, can I really say the n-word
3219What up, my nigga woo
3220What up, my nigga Big ups, my nigga
3221We up, my nigga, you pussy ass nigga
3222Man, fuck y'all niggas, 'cause I'm that nigga
3223Nigga, nigga, nigga, I'm that nigga
3224I woke up in Chris Brown's body oh yeah
3225So how this shit turned into Freaky Friday
3226But we got no choice but to turn this bitch sideways oh yeah, oh yeah
3227I can't believe that it's freaky Friday
3228Yeah it's Freaky Friday
3229I'm in Chris Brown's body
3230I drive his Ferrari and I'm light-skinned black
3231Ring ring, what the fuck
3232I woke up and I'm Lil Dicky Lil Dicky
3233Ugh, what the fuck
3234This shit is real weak
3235How his dick staying perched up on his balls like that
3236Walking down the street and ain't nobody know my name whoa
3237Ain't no paparazzi flashing pictures, this is great whoa
3238Ain't nobody judging 'cause I'm black for my controversial past
3239I'ma go and see a movie and relax woo, let's go
3240Ayy, I'm a Blood but I can finally wear blue cool
3241Why's his momma calling all the time
3242Leave me the fuck alone, bitch
3243Wait, if I'm in Dicky body, Breezy is who
3244Hope my daughter's in school
3245Fuck, if I was Chris Brown, where would I be
3246What would I do
3247I woke up in Chris Brown's body oh yeah
3248So how this shit turned into Freaky Friday
3249But we got no choice but to turn this bitch sideways oh yeah, oh yeah
3250I can't believe that it's Freaky Friday
3251Yeah it's Freaky Friday
3252I'm in Chris Brown's body
3253I look at my soft dick with delight, it's my dream dick
3254If I was Lil Dicky in my body, where would I be
3255I'm tryna find myself like an introspective monk
3256I'm balling on the court, oh my god I can dunk
3257Snap a flick of my junk
3258My dick is trending on Twitter, fuck
3259Now I'm at the club, I talked my way to getting in
3260I look up in the VIP, my goodness there I am
3261I signal to him let me in but he won't let me in
3262I don't know who that is
3263Wait, who the fuck he think he is
3264Took a glass bottle, shatter it on the bouncer's head woo
3265Walked up to that motherfucker
3266Wait, think it through for a sec
3267If you hurting me then you only hurting yourself
3268But wait, I love myself
3269That was the key, now we're switching back
3270I woke up in Chris Brown's body oh yeah
3271So how this shit turned into Freaky Friday
3272But we got no choice but to turn this bitch sideways oh yeah, oh yeah
3273I can't believe that it's Freaky Friday
3274Wait what the fuck
3275[Ed Sheeran:]
3276And now I'm in Ed Sheeran's body
3277It's way less cool than being Chris Brown was
3278What the fuck again
3279[DJ Khaled:]
3280I'm DJ Khaled! Why am I yelling
3281Huh, I'm Kendall Jenner
3282I got a vagina, I'm gonna explore that right now woo
3283Holy shit, I got a vagina uh, I'm gonna learn
3284I'm gonna understand the inner workings of a woman
3285Yeah fuck you think you dealin' with
3286Every time ya hear da the kid you know he bout to kill dis shit
3287Every rhyme is sicker than an ugly bitches period
3288You know the Jew is building something I ain't talking pyramids
3289Them bitches with titties they wanna get up at the kid
3290They instant messaging Dicky, they wanna get up on his dick
3291But I ain't ready to hit it, because I'm relatively timid in the bed I admit it
3292But fuck that gay shit we should fuck soon
3293Baby whatchu wann do
3294Tell me when to come through
3295Take you out to ritas then I'll skeet up where dat tongue blue
3296D could tweet a freak till I'm peekin' up at a cheek and that physique'll
3297Have me jackin' ma D if I don't agree to meet at her at her fucking condo
3298Eat it like a combo
3299Need it in the mourning or I'm heated like Alonzo
3300You know that the geek about mack up an actress
3301Imagining McAdams all on ma mattress
3302Attackin' ma sack and attractively crackin', ejaccin', we nappin'
3303The fuck you think you doin'
3304I'm rappin' some crack and I'm lackin' the practice cause the Jew
3305Dat's been smackin' the track up and snappin' has actually been doin'
3306This shit, renewing the spit, for one year
3307Fuck it tho
3308Think you better read about ma fuckin' flow
3309I'm smoking weed with clueless bitches cheatin' playin' suck and blow
3310Eatin' on some buffalo chicken fingers on a boat
3311Went from being honor roll to spreadin' like he on a roll
3312Haha... Whoa
3313Okay now I'm on a roll
3314Scoring got em screaming commentators speaking on a goal
3315Tourin' writing TV, getting greedy but I'm honorable
3316I swear dat Dicky isn't that conceited but I think it's time to
3317Roll another spliff, and we blowin' that
3318Salt and vinegar up in the whip, yea I'm holdin' that
3319Bitches droppin' back up in shotgun like they was Flacco or Rodgers
3320I'm doin 60 so I tell em to stoppit, I need to concentrate
3321The hoes know DI, been goin' MIA
3322I'm in the four door Fiat, with poquilla
3323Bitches das been showin' me interest
3324Seen up on Pinterest
3325Don't know how it happened but Lil Dicky back in business
3326Cause if you really talkin' shit bruh
3327I suggest you take a sec and recognize ma shit raw
3328I been texting pictures atcho sister, be ma in law
3329You know I been spittin' vicious, whatchu fittin' to get at ma dude
3330I been killin' bitches, Michael Vick in the booth
3331The US see me, I be kiffin to you
3332I gotcho bitch up on ma stick she ride it sick
3333Like it was quidditch but nude
3334And I'm the honorary Gryffindor Jew
3335And I don't care about ya bitch, or ya ya, ya riches or ya wips bro
3336Even tho you fictional, I'm guessing that you get dough
3337No you don't exist, but I see through you like a window
3338Dicky run this shit and you'sa cripple
3339Fuck it though, you dumber than Waka Flocka
3340Be sonnin you like a father
3341D bomber than Osama plot
3342And smart as Obama
3343Gotcho lil mama in the sauna all up
3344In the male locker room
3345She really good with the D
3346That's my Serge Ibaka boo, ooh
3347Das dat dude, spittin hot as Rihanna
3348You softer than llamas
3349Do prima donnas faster than ramadan
3350I'll be honest, getting commas in ma wallet
3351Is nada, ebonically smarter, the kike
3352Been flowin nice as the Dalai Lama
3353Whaddup bruh
3354I'm goin stupid cause I'm better
3355This the hottest shit like I was pooping in a sweater
3356Ain't nobody do you anymore, you a letter
3357You get it write That was clever
3358Ho'
3359But look
3360If you think you on ma level jabroni
3361Than let me educate you, bet you need a fellowship homie
3362Lil dicky rippin dat ribbon cause what he spittin' is winning
3363So if you finna be some chicken for dinner
3364Then hollaback up at the kid boy
3365I'm spittin' good up in this bitch ho
3366So if you wanna get at me, you better get a Mento, ahhh
3367That's word to ads from the past
3368Ya ass up in a jam if you come at the man
3369Then yon't stand a chance
3370Das retard flow
3371I been talkin game on campuses I'm Lee Corso
3372Battle me, he'll be like, Dude I ran. see Argo
3373Package all up in this dude caboose... free cargo
3374Fuck it. I'm really talkin that shit
3375I'm coming at a muthafucka that don't even exist
3376But if we under the assumption that he
3377Someone dat spit it redundant to someone incumbent
3378Then he dumber than bricks ya dig
3379Listen to these bitches making hits and
3380You'll see the horrendousness dat be existing
3381Every minute some kid is diminishing a single
3382Written like a semi-retarded kid in kindergarten
3383Except he harder than me, so poor Lil Dicky is stuck
3384Watching stupid muthafuckers
3385Make music and caking foolish
3386While jewish muthafuckas rate movies
3387Okay cupid to do a lil fuckin
3388But if it's bout the rap, they on't want it
3389That's why I tell em look
3390Looking at a bitch, it's a beautiful view
3391Snookie kinda tits, with a booty for two
3392But she really fit, word to Scooby and Doo
3393So I pursue it like I do in the booth
3394That mean I really wanna hit, holla at her like ayo what it do
3395I ain't your daddy, I ain't mad at you moves
3396The way you dancing got me staring cause you badder
3397Than a bear at the zoo
3398Who doesn't care particularly for the food
3399And get embarrassed when there is a lot of people staring into his lair
3400And he very hairy and the air isn't good
3401She said okay I'm understanding the comparison
3402So chill with the narrative, cause you scaring me away from you dude
3403Then I said, I said okay, that was my bad
3404Know my pick up line's sad
3405Wanted to impress you, why the fuck you think I buy plaid
3406We should go to my pad
3407Let you hold the iPad climax
3408You looking better than an imax
3409Decide fast, cause I'm bout to get up in the the ride and take a ride fast
3410She replied yes, now we driving
3411And now she kissing on ya dude
3412But the minute she unzippin's when I think I gotta poop'
3413But the minute she unzippin's when I think I gotta poop'
3414Now your man is rolling all around the motherfucking city
3415While he holding on a bitty
3416While he holding in a shit
3417He can't control it, so he focused, but she groping on his dick
3418He wanna bone her, but he told her that he feeling sorta iffy
3419But she really wanna get it bro
3420Feeling on a testicle
3421But Lil Dicky reeling what he feeling is intestinal
3422Goddamn it what the fuck should I do
3423Cause shawty really wanna get in the mood
3424But Dicky been had to poop
3425And now she kinda confused
3426Been persistent but the kid been tryna resist her moves,
3427Doing 60 in a 20, I got reason to move
3428Cause I been squeezing on my buttcheeks like a prisoner do
3429And now I'm getting close to panicking
3430Stomach is unraveling
3431Every fucking bump has got me clutching on my abdomen
3432I swear this isn't happening
3433I'm staring at the back of the Cadillac in the passing lane
3434Swearing up at the traffic mayne...
3435Man this is harder than all madden
3436I'm airing out the car because I'm farting like a savage
3437She started fucking grabbing, on ma part to make some magic
3438But I'm hardly harder than some corduroys up on a rabbit
3439So I tell her that the plans change
3440Don't mean to act strange
3441But I gotta go, I left ma phone up in the last place
3442She gave me the sad face
3443Started typing numbers at a fast pace
3444Glowing black case on the dash, great
3445So I told her thanks babe,
3446But I forgot I gotta water fucking plants up at my aunts house that way
3447But shawty still up on your man
3448She caressing and undressing me and then I shit ma pants
3449Now ya man is rolling all around the motherfucking city
3450Trying hold in that he shitted, cause he rolling with a bitty
3451Now ya man is rolling all around the motherfucking city
3452Trying hold in that he shitted, cause he rolling with a bitty
3453But he tripping, and he twitching cause he hoping she don't sniff it
3454But he only got a minute till she notice that he did it
3455So he pull over the car and
3456Do it like he Tarzan
3457Rip all of his clothing then go into the forest
3458Minute later shawty came in the nude
3459And then I laid her on a sycamore root
3460Nobody knew that I pooped
3461Nobody know that I pooped
3462Fucking right, nobody knew that I pooped
3463Until I got back in the wip up with that chick
3464And she could sniff all the poop and
3465So then I told her that it must have been goose,
3466She said I think you mean geese
3467I said that's what I mean
3468Seen a dozen of them motherfuckers in the ravine
3469Then she said what's a ravine
3470I said the thing in between us and all the greenery
3471I mean it's a stream, don't know why I said ravine
3472Then she said oh I see, and then
3473It's like, these days dicky been up on his grind
3474Tryna spit a rhyme
3475Fly enough to get cracker signed
3476It's aight tho
3477I been typing all damn night bro
3478Kikes gotta write raps right, no typo
3479Nice flow
3480Best up in the game, no Michael
3481I guess I gotta wait for the fame, no lipo
3482But damn, if ya man had a hoard of fanbase
3483I'd have a lot to cover like a corpulent klan face
3484Go on some man dates
3485With D'Caprio and Drake
3486And make a man cave full of chronic and pancakes
3487A handshake's all I'm really wantin from LeBron tho
3488Iono
3489Think I'd rather get up with his mom
3490And do it delonte, couple bottles of Andre
3491In pompei, getting dirtier than some laundry
3492I'm freakin that ho, just for Cleveland man
3493But first thing I'm a need some fans
3494Cause little dicky tryna make that cake, like a balla do
3495And denigrate little wayne up at a bar-b-q
3496And I just wanna hit the floor with pauly D
3497And cross swords up with Tommy Lee
3498So where the muhfuckers drinkin the ciroc at
3499Where the fuck the rock at
3500Where the bad bitches on this mediocre cock atttt
3501I'm tryna make the move
3502From gay, lame, dateless jew to famous dude, ya dig
3503First grade and I was thirsty
3504I was wantin fame up in the muthafuckin worst way
3505Word play, gotta get ya ya boy up on some first take
3506Skip Bay, Steve A, get up in they ass ya dig
3507If I'm celebbin then I'm getting with mccadams's
3508The hottest women on the muthafuckin planet kid
3509I'm tryna get up at Selena
3510Mess around with mila
3511I remember when it was Christina
3512Genie up in a bottle, but now she couldn't fit up on a waterbed
3513I wanna score a ten imagine Natalie portman
3514And if she borin then, ill get a ride in ma DeLorean
3515And go before it, securing the whore I been adoring since
3516I was a teen, ya mean
3517Brittany spears, whacha doin
3518Couple years, dat career and dat metabolism ruined
3519Yain't know about me yet
3520But the future do
3521On youtube, I been getting some views
3522Ay, enough about a boo, ion't need a bitch
3523But I need a clique
3524Full a people Derek jeterish
3525Love the bieber kid
3526That's a hell of a dude
3527Well I ain't met him but his documentary was the truth
3528I'd holla back at snoop, drop a couple tracks in the booth
3529He'd prolly have me high enough to take a nap as I poop
3530I'm callin kobe Bryant up because I'm fucking with his game
3531But it's such a shame, I can tell that muthafucka lame tho
3532Flame flow
3533Ain't nobody even know ma name tho
3534And all I wanna do is know if channing's really gay tho
3535All I wanna do is play Durant up in some Halo
3536Play shows, date hoes, where the fuck diddy at
3537Where lil dicky gonn spit at
3538And where the crib at
3539And where da rose gold shit at
3540I'm tryna get dat
3541I wish dat I was sitting courtside for games
3542And lickin on Kate Upton's titties
3543Ridin' round smoking weed with ma foreign bitch
3544Ridin' round smoking weed with ma foreign bitch
3545Ma window down, I'm riding to ma new shit wish dat was me
3546Got ma new bitch, got ma, got ma new bitch this dude a g!
3547Ion't camp off with no j's they sell them hoes for free what the fuck that mean
3548Never payin for no pussy, fuck them hoes for free
3549That's a fucking bawlaa
3550How can I become a bawlaa
3551Mirror mirror on the wall
3552How can dicky learn to ball
3553I wish I was TIP and I could spit some shit with southern drawls
3554I wish I could flip a brick and spit dat shit like Ricky Ross
3555Holla at broads, at the mall
3556Spit about a mafuckan bitch up in da wip
3557And getting lit up in the backseat
3558Talkin shit about a dinner with an athlete
3559Fuck that, can't rap like the rest of these mafuckas
3560Without all ma writtens being fact free
3561Do y'all know how bad I wish I could
3562But y'all would laugh if I spit hood
3563So now ya man is making jams about some random
3564Shit, when dudes is rappin bout they fuckin weaponry
3565Homicidal tendencies
3566The only dough that I can boast about is seeded sesame
3567I'm jealous B.
3568Cause errbody in the game get to say they kill
3569Errbody in the game get to say steal
3570Errbody in the game sayin words like trill
3571Really wish that I could make that hit
3572Fake that shit
3573Without coming off all gay n shit
3574Cause if I coulda rapped like wayne
3575Then I'd prolly be sayin a lot of the crazy shit like
3576I'm a kill you pussy ass bitches with the chopper
3577Now make that pussy pop off... and this shit would sound proper
3578Ridin' round smoking weed with ma foreign bitch
3579Ridin' round smoking weed with ma foreign bitch
3580Ma window down, I'm riding to ma new shit wish dat was me
3581Got ma new bitch, got ma, got ma new bitch this dude a g!
3582Ion't camp off with no j's they sell them hoes for free what the fuck that mean
3583Never payin for no pussy, fuck them hoes for free
3584That's a fucking bawlaa
3585How can I become a bawlaa
3586Here we go
3587Here's a flow
3588Bout some shit I really know
3589I'm a spit it raw and swag it up as if I'm really cold
3590Ma cheerios is honey nut
3591Gear at most a hunned bucks
3592PS I Love You is on the TV dicky tearin up
3593Go up to the bathroom, I have to
3594Ma dentist say I gotta make an effort now it's time to floss
3595Hollat ma dog, and I call the mafucka to me and
3596Get a leash and take him out to walk
3597Roll around the ave
3598I put his shit up in a bag
3599And then a wip pull up, the windows down, this bitch look out and asking
3600How she get back on the high way
3601Told dat bitch to drive straight
3602And take a left on honeycut
3603But stay up in the right lane
3604Cause it come up kinda quick
3605You see what the fuck I'm sayin,
3606Other people get to rap about like
3607Home cooked crack, and like jail n shit
3608And I gotta spit a lotta shit about a muthafuckin
3609Kid up in a crib that's got the central air
3610It's not fair
3611No one cares
3612Real talk I just wanna braid ma hair
3613And rap about whatever bruh
3614Money hoes etcetera
3615Instead of bein clever every measure but I'm never gonn be
3616Ridin' round smoking weed with ma foreign bitch
3617Ridin' round smoking weed with ma foreign bitch
3618Ma window down, I'm riding to ma new shit wish dat was me
3619Got ma new bitch, got ma, got ma new bitch this dude a g!
3620Ion't camp off with no j's they sell them hoes for free what the fuck that mean
3621Never payin for no pussy, fuck them hoes for free
3622That's a fucking bawlaa
3623How can I become a bawlaa
3624Alrite, this the type a shit they be playin at the barbershop
3625I hear these mafuckas saying that it's all for naught
3626But I ain't stopping till I make it to the top y'all
3627They bout to feel stupid talking like a dropped call
3628Cause I'm bout to pop off ma dude, the flow too cashy
3629And this white dude ain't trashy
3630I'm actually college educated, U of R abbreviated,
3631Got inebriated but ma GPA was still amazing
3632On that 3.93 tip, fuck you know about a
3633Eastside G spittin uncontrollable
3634I mean if clever is the measure, then I'm better than
3635Whatever rapper's getting cheddar, I'm the king, and they corretta
3636They some bitches like a kennel got,
3637Dicky spittin devil hot
3638Listenin to ma writtens gotchu whistlin like a kettle potttt
3639I can't stop till I make a dent
3640But this is greatness, take it in
3641Ya namsayin cause
3642Ya'll mafuckas wanna be that kid
3643Wanna lease that wip
3644Wanna be that sick
3645Das a mafucka in this mafucka getting dough
3646Like a mafucka in this mafucka whatchu know bout a
3647Late teen with dreams, debate team to frees
3648To makin these hooks like Kareem, yamean
3649Now ya man deep in the game, but keepin the same
3650Cause I believe, I been keepin the faith, y'nawmsayin
3651And I spit that shit so asinine
3652Been known to jerk ma dick just to pass the time
3653And I ain't never really care for these fake mafuckas
3654Take mafuckas cake like I wait on these mafuckas
3655Hate when these mafuckas talk the talk
3656I'm at the plate, but you know I'm getting walked or balked or somethin'.
3657And you ain't even in ma league lil shawty
3658I'm a beast you can find me on the beach with a sporty lil young thang
3659Tan lines out the ass, so bad she about to go to Alcatraz
3660I gotta second with the tenth, thinkin alphabet
3661Lil dicky only breaking bad bitches, Malcolm's dad
3662I'm on the beat, know you hearda dat
3663G that'll murder cats
3664Freak raps, ma dude, ma genes in a fertile sack
3665Balls full a ballplayas, Archie Manning
3666I could even let a few in ya family
3667Now I'm laughin cause
3668Ya'll mafuckas wanna be that kid
3669Wanna lease that wip
3670Wanna be that sick
3671Das a mafucka in this mafucka getting dough
3672Like a mafucka in this mafucka whatchu know bout a
3673Late teen with dreams, debate team to frees
3674To makin these hooks like Kareem, yamean
3675Now ya man deep in the game, but keepin the same
3676Cause I believe, I been keepin the faith, y'nawmsayin
3677And I'm a cake like it ain't nothin.
3678I stay humpin with a cock, tryna date something.
3679I'm straight frontin cause I'm not, hard top on ma mamma lexus
3680I ain't stoppin til lil dicky and Obama texting
3681Dog, I just wanna rap till ya man straight blow up
3682I'm nasty, throw up
3683Ma fam reads torah
3684And I can do this shit on the reg ya dig
3685White mack sound brown like texases
3686I'm really dreamin bout the 22s but I can do it tho
3687I got a jewish flow and I ain't ever had a student loan
3688I think you knew it ho, darling, ya man correct
3689I tell y'all bout ballin, Stan Verret
3690Cause I been known to use a metaphor
3691Only fuckin ten or mores
3692Thought I was an artist but I think I'm likin metta more
3693Atlanta, Japan to Amsterdam
3694Ya boy bout to run up into the stands, ynamsayin baby
3695Ya'll mafuckas wanna be that kid
3696Wanna lease that wip
3697Wanna be that sick
3698Das a mafucka in this mafucka getting dough
3699Like a mafucka in this mafucka fuck you know bout a
3700Late teen with dreams, debate team to frees
3701To makin these hooks like Kareem, yamean
3702Now ya man deep in the game, but keepin the same
3703Cause I believe, I been keepin the faith, y'nawmsayin
3704Middle of the week, ain't nobody at the crib uhh
3705Chillin in the bed with a hard ass dick uhh
3706And you Dicky need that
3707Where the fuck the weed at
3708Dis about to be a fuckin treat
3709You can find me tryna beat dick
3710Lookin for a freak bitch
3711I ain't fittna pay for it, fuckin with dat free shit
3712Loadin up a page, porn hunting like a genius
3713Baby, I make it rain, cetaphil up on the penis
3714Find the kid up on youjizz loadin two vids
3715Both dem bitches point of view and
3716Finding new shit, can't decide to sort by rating or the view hit
3717Goin stupid, whatcha know about a window full a tabs
3718And all of them bitches pretty fuckin bad ya dig it
3719The type bitches gotchu thinkin bout they past uhh
3720Could a been a model, now a fist up in dat ass uhh
3721Bet she wasn't coddled, ain't had no a father
3722So shawty hit the bottle, gotta toddler
3723And needed dollars, I swear I hit the lotto with these
3724Low self esteem having fine ass bitches
3725Got me loadin, got me streaming, closing blinds, lights dimming
3726Baby, I'm about to blast off
3727Ballin with my pants off
3728So if you was lookin for ya man'You can find me in the bedroom'Okay you know I'm searchin jenna haze, heather I
3729Rollin j's and getting high
3730Almost started creaming seeing mini-skirted haley wilde
3731Rollin over thumbnails
3732Lube up in ma thumbnails
3733Top rated page 21
3734It's taken me kinda long, but I'm scrollin with ma dick out
3735I roll a little zag, yea das word to dan dickau
3736I'm higher than penthouse
3737Vagina booty and mouth
3738You prolly redtube-ing, like a pre-pubescant kid out this muthafucka
3739I'm havin trouble cause her dude is fuckin with rubbers
3740I know it's subtle, but it's covered, and if I had my druthers
3741Then I would need to see the skin touch
3742Maybe that's a bit much
3743Either way, if you wanna play beatin on ma dick
3744Homie I'on't give a fuck, I'm just tryna find a clip
3745Only fuckin with a hi definition type a bitch
3746That can suck a dick... man, this a fuckin hit...'Okay you know I'm searchin jenna haze, heather I
3747Rollin j's and getting high
3748Almost started creaming seeing mini-skirted haley wilde
3749Rollin over thumbnails
3750Lube up in ma thumbnails
3751Top rated page 21
3752It's taken me kinda long, but I'm scrollin with ma dick out
3753I roll a little zag, yea das word to dan dickau
3754I'm higher than penthouse
3755Vagina booty and mouth
3756You prolly redtube-ing, like a pre-pubescant kid out this muthafucka
3757I'm havin trouble cause her dude is fuckin with rubbers
3758I know it's subtle, but it's covered, and if I had my druthers
3759Then I would need to see the skin touch
3760Maybe that's a bit much
3761Either way, if you wanna play
3762 beatin on ma dick
3763Last week, tried to suck my own dick ehhhh
3764Don't try n act like you ain't try that shit at least once
3765But now I'm back jackin dat with a mac
3766No klan, but I stay away from blacks
3767And ion't take it back, I just can't even relate to it
3768Lookin like a pussy got a porterhouse steak through it
3769Hate it when a mafuckas dick is as a big as a 4 loco
3770Type a girth, that ain't even of this earth ya dig it
3771I'm dodging pop ups like a muthafuckin vet in this bitch
3772The door is locked I got the toilet paper ready and ripped
3773I'm talkin X-art tan hoes
3774Bangbros passcodes
3775So if you was lookin for ya man
3776You can find me in the bedroom beatin on ma dick
3777Homie I'on't give a fuck, I'm just tryna find a clip
3778Only fuckin with a hi definition type a bitch
3779That can suck a dick... man, this a fuckin hit...
3780Shots in the club like plaxico
3781I'm in the corner, hot like Placido's
3782And dicky fuckin flow nuts pistachio
3783And like Shelvin, I know how to mack a ho
3784I got girls on ma penis
3785Flow is the meanest
3786Not Gilbert, but I'm sellin out arenas
3787Do it all day A peterson
3788Because I'm tryna get paid like Revis did
3789I met a French bitch, big lips, and she got a body
3790Told her put that ass on moi like nnamdi
3791Fight like rocky, white like Roddy
3792Hoosier Daddy all knight like Booby
3793Hot box ride, I can barely see
3794You know I keep ma car melo like Anthony
3795Got bigger blunts than legarrete, smoke outta Taurus
3796Put Mar kief in dat philly like Morris
3797Anybody better better than me, good try
3798I'm the best like Jahvid, but I'm not lion
3799Not even a tyson... no ear biting
3800Ma pockets fat with green, so Rex Ryan
3801I ball for the bucks like Luc Richard Mbah a Moute,
3802But I'm a fuckin superstar
3803And if they ask LD where he wanna live
3804Then I'm a tell 'em where markakis like Nick.
3805I'm tryna get a little Kevin Love
3806And then I see a bad bitch starin up in the club
3807She got an ass so sweet like a cinnabun
3808I bet dat bitch a giant freak like Lincecum
3809And so I go and approach her
3810We kick it like Stover
3811End of the night, I'm a ownher, hova
3812Liquor make a bitch feel raunchy, horny
3813So I'm getting big shots, Chauncey, horry
3814Took her back at ma Eddie House
3815And this fine ass bitch takin off her blouse
3816And then ma D Rose quicka than a bull at the garden
3817Dick like James from the way that it Harden
3818My name ain't Charles, but I pack wood son
3819Ma dick ain't Gretzky, but it's still a good one.
3820She want that juice I ain't talkin bout OJ
3821It's more like Mayo, something like OJ
3822Okay, now her clothes are off
3823And I can see her C pierced like her name was Paul
3824I couldn't care less, went down feelin the flavor
3825It was hairless, something like Villanueva
3826Ma Rod Smart, so He Hate Me
3827When I don't cover him up with a safety
3828But I coordinate that D, so I planned protection
3829Had a Magnum Rolle like louisania tech did
3830Put a condom on ma Ryan Braun
3831Ma Hebrew hammer, then we got it on
3832I was playin with a boobie, Cavalier
3833We even made a couple movies, Shaq O'Neil
3834She had a real big cat, Andres Gallaraga pussy
3835But I hit it hard, Troy Polamalu on that pussy
3836No acting but she had a big O Oscar
3837No PED's little Dicky ballin proper let's go.
3838Friday fucking night
3839We bout to do this right
3840Dicky rollin to the club, he about to find his wife
3841Cause he fresher than a kid that called his mom a fuckin ho
3842Bunch a bitches getting low
3843Pimpin you already know
3844I'm bout to get up on the flo and then bring chicken to ma crib
3845Getting drunk up in this muthafucka, fuck you think this is
3846Then I see a bad bitch with a booty and a half
3847I make a move on that cutie, excuse me do you wanna dance
3848Then she looked at me and laughed
3849Like I didn't have a chance
3850Like I shouldn't even asked
3851So I proceeded to get trashed
3852And I'm at the bar now, and it's so loud
3853But I'm takin shots, and I'm throwin down
3854And I see a pretty lady, so I send her some of that cold brown
3855And she turned around, and then turned it down
3856Because in her words, she don't like to flirt with clowns
3857And I'm alone and pouting, overcrowded, I need to get up out this club
3858I been inside this club for way too long
3859I wanna leave and eat calzones
3860None of these females wanna bone
3861Ma self esteem is all but gone
3862Bout to quit, but I'm bitter I paid that cover
3863So I guess I gotta stay in this stupid club a bit longer
3864And I'm sweating like a jew in a multicultural sauna
3865They been playing fuckin dubstep for ten consecutive songs
3866And then I bumped into a guy
3867He was roughly 6 foot 5
3868Pretty sure it was his fault, but I apologized
3869Pretty sure you know the type, probly bankin every night
3870Vodka sprite, lookin round to find a kike that he can fight
3871Or suckerpunch, I'm kinda drunk, and I been in the club for way too long
3872Now I'm up in the corner, all alone, ESPN up on ma phone
3873Ma self esteem is so depleted, such a mess, I'm overheated
3874I regretfully just tweeted some depressing shit, I need to leave this club
3875I been inside this club for way too long
3876I wanna leave and eat calzones
3877None of these females wanna bone
3878Ma self esteem is all but gone
3879Is this really for the bathroom, are you kidding
3880This the type of line where people squeeze they dick to prevent pissing
3881When I get inside the stall it's like a yeti had been shitting
3882And there's piss all on the ground, so as I'm wizzing I keep slipping
3883Fuck this hand stamp
3884Club is really damn cramped
3885Fuck it, I'm a suck it up and take another damn chance
3886Ughh, here goes nothing c'mon D
3887Ay girlie, what's the word
3888At first glance I may look like a nerd
3889But if you let me, bet D, get thee, all up in the bed so wet like a mafuckan jetski
3890Real rap if you tryna go, then put your name right here up inside ma phone
3891She took bait, no way, typing out her home, she pressed save,
3892Walked away, and her name was no
3893I been inside this club for way too long
3894I wanna leave and eat calzones
3895None of these females wanna bone
3896Ma self esteem is all but gone
3897Iont fuck around
3898I been getting down
3899Not afraid to eat some triscuits up off the ground
39005 second rule
3901I'm on that 5 year
3902A lotta guys fear what I got in my ears wax
3903If I ain't pissin then you know I'm shittin bricks
3904Do it sick, when I finish homie I ain't washin shit
3905Shaved dick, shave with, same shit, face get
3906Bitches sittin on ma pillows and they butt naked
3907Lickin grease off of that pizza
3908And these mafuckas prolly want a paper towel
3909Errybody know that I rape toenails
3910When I pick, then I flick em on the straight up ground now
3911Ain't shit to a mafuckan balla
3912Mo grit than a mafuckan dolla
3913Come back from ballin, you gotta smell sack
3914Yea it's that appalling
3915And Ion't ever wash ma feet
3916When I'm in the shower, they be hard to reach
3917When I'm getting down, goin out on the weekend
3918I'm asleep before I brush my teeth
3919I'm a goddamn G tho
3920Mo grime than Ed Reed's pee hole
3921Mo grime than Ronaldhino
3922These other rappers can't deny it
3923Cause I don't even act like a thug
3924But I'm cold enough
3925I ain't moving crack, holdin guns
3926But there's more than one dimension to a balla
3927You can find ya boy around the way
3928Being scummy and fucking grubby you know I'm tryna say
3929That I'm grimy as a gooch
3930Grimy grimy as a gooch swag
3931Grimy as a gooch
3932Grimy grimy as a gooch swag
3933It take a slimy muthafucka to be grimy as a grundle
3934So you in trouble, if you attempt to try to be as gutter as the kid
3935Eating wings
3936Beating off
3937Dick stings from the muthufuckan hot sauce swagga
3938Came nuts... no tp
3939Lazy so I rub it on the damn sheets
3940Ya man D on that reggie evans shit
3941Boogie pickin, boogie flickin, hella belly button lint
3942Fuck a bitch, and I'm wetter than a muthafuckin swish
3943Yeah I'm sweating more than CC bases loaded, bottom 6
3944I'm eating mixed nuts with my mouth wide open
3945At bar a bar where them house flies float
3946Iont give a fuck if it flush if I must urinate
3947Not a place up in the house I wouldn't go
3948I sink piss, and I sniff clothes
3949Nastier than Kimbo
3950And I lick snow
3951When it's yellow
3952And I sleep at the hotel on
3953That old blanket that yo mamma used to never let you touch
3954I just don't give a fuck, I'm nasty like the nut of johnny kruk
3955I do the dutch oven to maself
3956Fuckin with the way it smells
3957So if someone sicker well then tell me
3958Cause I don't even act like a thug
3959But I'm cold enough
3960I ain't moving crack, holdin guns
3961But there's more than one dimension to a balla
3962You can find ya boy around the way
3963Being scummy and fucking grubby you know I'm tryna say
3964That I'm grimy as a gooch
3965Grimy grimy as a gooch swag
3966Grimy as a gooch
3967Grimy grimy as a gooch swag
3968It take a slimy muthafucka to be grimy as a grundle
3969So you in trouble, if you attempt to try to be as gutter as the kid
3970What it do
3971Was 22 up in the room
3972Thinkin bout a way that I could make a move
3973Make a boom
3974Debated to move to LA
3975To make it in movies
3976But traded the pool shade and gravitated to music
3977Now I'm spittin the hottest shit
3978It don't matter the competition
3979Is sadder than a bladder that be lackin a pot to piss in
3980It's actually kinda sicknin
3981The rap is beyond horrific
3982Admit it bruh, waka flaka flame is somehow respected
3983The game has gotta change, used to listen to jay
3984Up on the train, now they floodin the waves with 2 chainz
3985I feel like I separate with ma lines like 2 lanes
3986It's a dark knight when the joker's better than them banes
3987Of the rap game, all of 'em rap lame,
3988They claimin all em ballin, well then all of em sac kings
3989At least they in the league tho
3990I can't even cop a fuckin peacoat
3991That's why I'm aiming outside the box, like it's a free throw
3992The weed smoke fuckin the air up
3993Got this mothafucka snackin more than Miggy Cabrera
3994Got dis mafucka rappin some crack and yappin about it on his cell phone
3995Tell holmes this is the track, that I got ma swell on
3996And I spit that shit so fast sometimes I need to slow it down
3997All these bitches up in the crib, it's like ma home a pound
3998Tell me I ain't hold it down
3999Spittin ridiculous, ticklin bitches
4000Up into they britches, and rip em like tickets
4001And fastballs, lookin at a cutie on the dance flo
4002I visualize that booty with the pants off
4003Had a little dance off
4004And I ain't had no shot it was the ass fault
4005Cause shawty body arguably hotter than august asphault
4006They claimin they great, man these rappers straight lebroning
4007I'm layin in wait, to smack the fuck up out dat spalding
4008I'm hatin every song, they celebratin poppin dom
4009But I be takin shots a brandy like a kobe at the prom pic
4010Bomb shit, ya'll should see ma muthafuckin blonde bitch
4011The bombs on dat body shawty just gotta be Islamic
4012I twist and I turn her on till she wet like she a faucet
4013No rapper give you more a set... isn't it ironic
4014Because I'm seein these labels
4015Pumpin out the horseshit, got me callin em stables
4016Pumpin out the tours quick, but they ain't makin hits
4017Ain't nobody great as this
4018White boy killin brothers on that cane and abel tipppp
4019Tri tip steak, up on a plate, I'm on a date
4020With a dime bitch, nibbling cake
4021But nevermind that
4022Someone tell me where the fuck the rhymes at
4023I was bumpin nas in his prime and you gonn sign that
4024Oh well, guess I'm better than they'll ever be
4025I could do it serious but they prefer the levity
4026I ain't really hearin nuffin
4027Say I ain't the man
4028I'm layin in sand, zero spf for the tan
4029But now I'm back in this muthafucka, spit hotta than a flame throw
4030Waitin to hear em call on ma name like rap a game show
4031Tell me this is lame,
4032Though I know that is bogus
4033Gotta focus
4034Be the dopest
4035With the most set of quotes, and the grossest
4036When I flow sick, and the hope is
4037Notice is right around the corner, my time to shine
4038Is almost aligned, something like a quarter to nine
4039If I could have a quarter for the metaphors in my rhymes
4040I'd only have a couple dollas so I'm stickin with dimes, ya know
4041They getting off like a train stop
4042I'm lookin at ma dick like how the fuck do you stay rock
4043No southern carolina, how you got so much game cock
4044Cause you movin that vagina in the dark like a stage prop
4045It's all good
4046I'm making this the outro
4047I had to fuckin spit, this is what I'm about bro
4048And you know what it is, holla back up at the kid Slim Boner
4049So damn hard, this shit is over
4050Now look at all these muthafuckas out on Pride Rock
4051Lotta livestock
4052Think it's cause Sarabi ride cock, or she did once
4053Cause they celebrating Simba
4054Lil cub, errbody gotta kneel cause
4055Deal was, lions was some muthafuckin real thugs
4056And the fear of, being turned into a meal was
4057Such a fright yo, but on the real they hella nice tho
4058This specific pack of lions acting like some white folks
4059But Africa is full a brothas, one is Uncle Scar
4060And that muthafucka wasn't nuffin funny son he hard
4061And he mad too
4062Cause he just wanna be the man too
4063First it was his brother, now another king is brand new
4064Baboon drawin on a tree ya dig
4065There's something freaky bout rafiki, bet his weed legit
4066That muthafuckin monkey doesn't need comedians
4067The reason is, he laughin at the breeze and shit, it's weird
4068Alrite now back to the plot
4069Mufasa was a wonderful father, he loved him a lot
4070And Simba wanted to impress him every second he got
4071The youngn was taught... but then one afternoon he forgot
4072Thas when he holla'd at nala, to follow da balla
4073To crawl up in da squalor
4074Where all uh da lawless acknowledge his father
4075But they never gave a fuck bout a little bitty pup
4076Aw shucks... they gonn eat this mafucka up
4077Until his dad came through, and smacked dem bitches in the head
4078Coulda had em dead, but he let em runaway instead
4079Now he really mad at dude
4080He cute when he sad tho
4081And the simple truth, Simba doin what his dad do
4082Shit... now das some real talk homie.
4083But he can't own them fields with dem lil paws homie
4084And real dogs only bark at bitches when they gotta do
4085Taught him to, think when he at the line like an audible
4086And now the part I abhor
4087Lil Simba chillin with a chameleon, perfecting his roar
4088Could a been a gecko but dat shit echoed, effectin the gorge
4089Was accidental, but you know what's in store, the stampede scene
4090Shit... and he was all up on a stick, gotta hold a grip
4091Simba you done got up in some shit
4092But his dad came through, and he saved him man
4093But as he climbed with them wounds, Mu raised his hand
4094But dude his brother on some muthafuckin scar face
4095Scar face, lit up like a muthafuckin star'n space
4096Hard place, and a rock, mufasa caught up in between that
4097Das his brother but that brotha was a mean cat
4098And when he threw him off the ledge
4099Simba couldn't believe dat that muthafucka dead
4100Tears being shed
4101Scar got up in his head
4102More dread for da boy, so he ran away and fled
4103Timon and pumba time
4104The young cub grown up, what a beautiful lion
4105They grub bugs, cub's nuts hittin puberty while
4106The voice of change up - ferris buller style, ya know
4107And they was tryna eat a beatle
4108A lion came through, tryna dine, hella regal
4109Then pumba got stuck, bout to get his ass cut
4110But then Simba stepped up, and defended like a thug do
4111Rollin round he realized who it was too
4112Hollad back at nala like whassup boo
4113Hugged smooth
4114Confused
4115Nala lookin pretty, titties done grew
4116Butt cute
4117He bout to fuck soooooon
4118Then he nuzzled from the back
4119And he cuddled from the front
4120He was really mackin jawn
4121She all up on his junk
4122You could see me jackin off to scene, believe dat
4123The young me, fuckin around with cats, I need that
4124To recap, lotta feedback, Simba react
4125The fam need dat... but ya man can't be back
4126He just wanna do his thing ya dig
4127But he the king
4128Even tho he wadnt feelin it
4129Until he met up with the monkey
4130What a funky fuckin junkie
4131But he spunky, told the muthafuckin lion bout his country
4132And he ran back
4133Pride rock got it's man back
4134But damn... the whole land hella ransacked
4135And then he saw scar with his mom
4136Sarabi lookin hella worn, hidden Simba looked on
4137As scar did her like a dog, hit her hard with his palm
4138Forreal dog
4139Alrite you fuckin with the God now
4140Long growl
4141Pimpin' handle bidness like a boss now
4142Tossed down
4143Talkin shit to Simba bout to cost clown
4144Scar tell the young'n that he killed his pops tho
4145Foreal mafucka He revealed his hops bro
4146And clocked on that muthafuckin sucka with a cross
4147Rocked uncle with couple then sunk him with a toss
4148He on't play that shit... brothas and lacrosse
4149Real talk... the dogs done finished him off
4150And pride rock was back where it started at
4151The meals back, fields packed with the hardest cats
4152Foreal jack... the animals is feelin dat
4153The real is back... and I just spit the realest rap, ya know
4154And Simba musta hit it hella freaky
4155Gotta keep it PG
4156But you see Rafiki with da pee =wee baby
4157Dat right there mean he merckin' it right
4158The dude piped... but that's just the circle of... life.
4159Sup y'all
4160It's your boy, L-D
4161A.K.A. Slim Boner
4162This does not have shit to do with Sports Center,
4163But I want to dedicate this to all the Sports Center anchors out there making our nights easier
4164Ay, what's really really good with it
4165Dicky rollin swishers, switch da role up, now the jew killin shit
4166Excuse me, ma attitude be, a little crude
4167For da few people, tryna boo, and screw and shoo me
4168Ma crew be sayin that I'm focused for real
4169And soon dude'll play dem women like he coachin brazil, I'm ill
4170Score with bitches bro... yain't get that punchline
4171Love dimes, drum line, cherry coke and lunch time
4172Damn, how you spittin so ridiculous with it,
4173Da kid been killin
4174All his writtens meticulously,
4175Cause dicky getting sick
4176Of these bitches spittin chicken shit, literally
4177Listen to little b, piss on the industry, shit isn't pretty
4178But LD, whaddup, ya boy been spittin hot
4179Weird, but it's cool like boy when he kiss his pop
4180I'm here, makin noise, better get a mop
4181Cause I'm bout to shit all up on hip-hop
4182So if you want it with me
4183You know I'm clubbin with a chubby
4184Prolly tuckin ma D
4185Cause I been really good livin
4186Philly D ma hood chillin
4187If you really good feelin
4188Holla back at dude killin em
4189L-I-L dicky flowin it up
4190Westside, getting high, yea we blowin it uppp now
4191So if you really getting sick. of this new crap...
4192Then listen up, cause Dicky been spittin new rap
4193Das dat good shit
4194Read about that shit
4195I'm tweeting bout that shit
4196I'm making a believer outcho bitch
4197I'm freakin out dis bitch,
4198I'm skeeting where you eatin' outcho bitch
4199I cheef a mound piff, and now I'm really freakin out this bitch bro.
4200I'm the biggest pussy rappin all day
4201I'm a represent it lovin me some rent on broadway
4202Call it gay, but fuck it, it's really lovely
4203To come up in really comfy pajamas
4204With a mama and knowledge of commas and college
4205But all these other rappers think thuggin is cool
4206These mafuckas so redundant with the drugs in the jewels
4207But I ain't buggin... ma stomach getting sun by the pool
4208I'm with a mexicano jawn straight getting azul
4209Foreal tho
4210Real flowin, jabronis is still frontin with it
4211Real open spittin, ma dick is a mere couple inches
4212Meals made of truffle,
4213Ma kitchen is real troublesome
4214I'm real good at hugging, and snugglin,
4215Somewhat at fuckin and
4216I heard this shit on workaholics
4217And this for errbody bout to finish college
4218It's only right that I drop a little knowledge
4219Cause life ain't like it outta be
4220I thought it'd be, a lotta women callin me
4221And sodomy, and drinkin like it's all for free
4222Illogically, I never thoughta poverty
4223Or how this muthafucka's muthafuckin job would be
4224But ever since I go the cap and gown
4225Errybody cracking down, nappin now
4226Erry fuckin snack got me packin pounds
4227Wearin fuckin slacks, got me scratching da back uh ma sack
4228And rap is not exactly a faculty rapidly rackin me
4229Anything but apathy for those who be naggin and draggin me
4230Into the wackest meetings, holding me back from eating
4231The saddest fucking lunch I pack and bag in the evening
4232Ma bank is depleted, I even have to think before tweeting
4233Man it's really fuckin sad when thinking bout
4234The evolution from the past to drinking now
4235We used to go and split a handle, drink it down
4236Then hit the town, and hit the hottest chicks around
4237But now I can barely slug a half a dozen tops
4238Used to chug a lot, now I'm fuckin buzzin off a shot whoa
4239Clubbin wasn't nuffin to me boy
4240Used to walk up in that muthafucka stuntin like whassup, I wadn't coy
4241Ain't nobody gave a fuck if I'm employed
4242Errybody drunk and fuckin lovin it, rubbin, and huggin
4243Mugging, chugging and fuckin but now these bitches
4244Is up on some other shit, wanting a husband
4245Clubbin got me buggin and blushing cause I'm a young'n das confronted
4246With a hundred abundantly rugged, and coveted, funded muthafuckas, it's humbling
4247Think about the age range
4248They get to date way older and emotionally open homies goin gray
4249Now I'm up on first dates
4250Sober like it's first grade
4251Hoping when it's over that I close it with some first base shit
4252Ma face getting fuckin fat
4253It's April, hateful fillin fuckin taxes out
4254Long ass days, getting blazed, and tappin out
4255Back is naggin now, mac is laggin now
4256Because I bought it back in college
4257So if you comin lemme run a little knowledge
4258If you was wondering if fun isn't acknowledged
4259Well Wednesdays, I be watching workaholics
4260Wasup ya'll let me preface this by saying this is not a Mac Miller diss by any means
4261I actually like mac miller butt, but right now he probably is the most popular rapper excluding Eminem
4262And I'm just not even close so you can understand why I would rap over one of his beats
4263I got a little bit of Kobe in me and if Kobe saw Lebron he would wanna rap over one of his beats
4264Metaphorically speaking, I know he ain't Lebron, butt, but you get what the fuck I'm saying
4265Maybe he's more of a Jo Johnson type of shit, no disrespect
4266Fuck... this undergrad bitch tryn fuck
4267And her chest deserves an A, like she handle da puck
4268She know D been bumpin Drake like ya man a Canuk
4269Homie even if it's May in LA... I'm so fuckin cold
4270Roll good on that Westside
4271Hoes cook like they country thick
4272So hood up in Best Buy
4273Controller, D punkin kids
4274Loading up the used dishes
4275Rollin up with two bitches
4276Hope they old enough
4277To get folded up, I'm not bold enough to do prison
4278I been drinkin sippin something so horrific, ya dig it
4279Because I tipped the bartender extra, then he put extra liquor
4280In dat shit. Goddamn. Das a misinterpretation
4281Hate it when they stiff. Overtipping cause I'm caking
4282Take in errything a mafucka say
4283Been about rap, figured out that from the basement
4284I ain't talkin bout rap city on black entertainment
4285Talkin bout the place I was raised in
4286Plate full uh bacon
4287Making a bagel and bake on occasion
4288Back then woulda made rap for grades
4289Now a mafucka make rap for pay
4290And them bitches too
4291Chickens that I'm bangin so appealing
4292They been Shagging on ma balls, like they practicing they fielding and
4293I Sorta make em pop off
4294Make em take they socks off
4295Round the fuckin bases then get pounded like a walk off
4296Aw naw...
4297This a fucking statement I'm making
4298They been hesitating to give lil David space at the table
4299Cause they label a capable able jew gay and too playful
4300Watching cable naked, the AC blowin major like slater's dad
4301Why you hater's mad
4302Maybe I should get a couple tats
4303Maybe I should get in trouble and be dumbin down the rap
4304Look at Mac
4305White as fuck but lookin thugger than a trap spot
4306Need another mac 'stead of luggin round this laptop
4307Blackballed
4308From the muthafuckin rap blogs
4309Cause I rap odd, never talkin bout a fuckin black card
4310Ion't gotta play da black card, cause I rap hard
4311Ion't think it mean I gotta act hard
4312Fuck it tho
4313Despite dat LD straight fucking hoes
4314Ma chickens stay hot, no buffalo
4315Ma hand been up in her bod, no muppet ho
4316Whatcha know bout a mafuckin kid up with a job
4317Coulda fit in with the mob, had a kid and a garage
4318But I didn't now I'm spittin like a mothafuckin slob
4319Doin shit up in garageband, better than the gods of the game do
4320Ya'll better know ma name soon
4321I ain't no clown, when you laughin out loud
4322Don't forget you getting down to a great tune
4323Make room
4324I'm coming for you muthafuckin rappers spittin dogshit
4325Yeah I'm fuckin funny, but this muthafuckin dog spit
4326Aw shit... I could write a TV show tomorrow
4327But before I get dat Emmy I'm a make you bitches sorry that I'm gone
4328Yeah, and once again no disrespect to Mac, Mac I actually follow you on Vine, I'm fucking with you, it looks like your having a pretty ridiculous amount of fun,
4329Sometimes your at a pool, sometimes your smoking weed and rapping
4330Would love to be a part of it, if vine is any indicator your life is awesome
4331Okay I got to go to work, cya
4332Hey what's up y'all
4333It's ya boy Dicky, AKA Yung Dick
4334AAP Rocky beat
4335AAP, fuckin' witchu
4336If you tryna like, get on a track, collaborate, I'm with it
4337Or like
4338Even if it's like just getting brunch
4339I get brunch, if you wanted to
4340I don't know if you get brunch but you should
4341My treat
4342So, alright, hold up
4343Yo
4344Riding through ya city, tryna find some titties
4345I'm high enough to think I might be dying, word to Whitney
4346Vagina, chicken, sticky, that's all you gotta give me
4347And I'm bout it, bout it, ain't no doubt about it
4348Lil dicky ehh
4349Heard he spit that witty ridiculously, offensive shit
4350Heard he got expensive shit, heard that he resent his dick
4351You heard right muthafucka
4352I'm a a bright, coy, white boy, kike muthafucka ehh
4353So whatchu fittin to do
4354I got a bitch she brought a bitch now ma dick dinner for two
4355Okay das fiction but admit it that I'm spittin it smooth enough
4356To get a jew with some scruff to mack a beauty with boobs and a butt
4357And plus a flat ass navel, twistin' that, no dreidel
4358From the back so fable of me woof
4359Cream cheesin, philly bred - so bagel of me
4360When dicky dead, this is never gonna be... so
4361And I been rollin with a fatty
4362Boneless chicken patties
4363Been clubbin like this muthafucka's rollin with a caddy
4364And now that I been rappin, all these bitches holla me
4365Had to put a daily cap on the head, no Aladdin
4366Know I'm average looking, and I'm bragging bout getting chickens
4367But this spitting got me positioned to be banging out bitches
4368Outta ma league... Jeff Teague bangin on Griffey
4369Would never happen less you happen to be hanging with dicky
4370Oh yeah I'm white, killin brothas like I'm up in the klan
4371Been fucking fly faced honeys like I'm up in sudanm so damn!
4372I'm a spit it till I get a buggatti
4373And body two hotties, who bodies
4374Fugazi, punanis tsunami - das wet
4375Puffin sticky, you ain't fuckin with lil dicky
4376Bumpin biggie, humpin giddy
4377Cummin quicker than ma internet
4378I got high speed internet
4379Spittin mad ignorant
4380Sicker than a muthafuckin immigrant
4381Sippin' on an Orangina
4382Bout' to see a foreign feature
4383Skittles and a quarter reefer
4384I snuck em both inside the theater
4385Used to do a ton of math
4386Now I'm close to doing none of that
4387I'm bout to hire someone's dad
4388And he about to do a ton of math
4389Add it up, rapping crack, gon' stack it up
4390Back it up ho, das whassup
4391Cracker jacks at the bank
4392Cole Hamels up, drank a cup and I'm kind of buzzed
4393I'm high as fuck, but fuck that
4394Where them bitches sitting 7th inning finna fuck at
4395Used to fuck with bitches that was timid with the nutsack
4396Now I'm fuckin' bitches let me jizz up on they buttcrack
4397Das a fun fact, I'm
4398Head of ma class and ready for mine
4399And like a great red in a glass, I'm better with time
4400I mean I came letterman jacket, ready to shine
4401They up designer shit
4402I'm in footie pajamas bitch
4403Omelettes, bomb as shit
4404The rhyming sick
4405Competish can't conquer dis'
4406I'm legit, honest chicks is on ma dick
4407I ain't a God but... you can call me Deezus
4408Switch to beat up
4409Ye, I see ya
4410Bout to make more tortillas
4411Pork carnitas
4412Going straight North Korea
4413Poor Aaliyah
4414Sorta Lena
4415Y'all dudes more Madea
4416Touring, writing, rapping, snoring while I'm napping
4417Luring these foreign tourists to ma sack and scoring
4418During performances in the back and
4419I'm making all of this up because I'm rappin'
4420Inside a lucky 4 bedroom apartment
4421That we found on Craigslist and settled in August
4422You know it was rent control and it was awesome
4423It came with' a washer
4424And a dryer
4425Goodbye y'all
4426Iight, I'm blowing on that sticky shit
4427Everybody's talking, bitches stalking, quick as Lawson
4428When I'm walking to the gym and shit
4429Everybody wanna get involved with the Dicky kid
4430I don't even know the deal y'all, I'm just killing shit
4431I ball like I'm playin the wii
4432Hit up all da ATMS, I been paying the fees
4433Being gay about the stems, Dicky weighing the weed
4434And now these labels on a cleanse, got em saying
4435We need jews, oh the dude the scoop boos,
4436Boozing stupid and he rap bruising tunes amusing students
4437I'm the truth dude
4438Put some funny shit up on youtube
4439Now these mafuckas spitting looking shitty as doo doo
4440Who knew, ya dude got a lot to do
4441I don't fill them bitches up, but the lobster do
4442Plus she licking on my nut like it's pasta too
4443And now that Dicky blowing up all these bitches so compliant
4444These days dicky gotta cover up his privates
4445Bathroom pissing brothas buzzing on some spy shit
4446Man, I wish that my dick was a little bigger
4447Because I'm in a pickle for riddles about ma pickle
4448Being minimal, criminally abysmal and literally
4449Women I'm hitting is cognizant of every centimetre
4450And I'm meeting bitches who seem to be fucking Derek jeter's
4451Every weekend, very freaky, don't know what I'm doing to em
4452These bitches do the type of shit chicks in porn doing
4453Bathroom beating on my dick, right before I do 'em
4454Man that's my only chance, ya know
4455I'm handsome though
4456I gotcha lady dancing bro
4457Man ever since I came up in this motherfucker shit been changed
4458Every rapper getting madder 'bout the funny shit I'm saying
4459They be trapping, I be napping, steady crapping on the game
4460And like a rabbit out the hat I'm doing magic with the flames man
4461Better stop comparing me to Andy Milanokis
4462Andy Samberg, Adam Sandler, man I swear it's so obnoxious
4463I don't care about the rarity of care-free song topics
4464The hilarity and parody is not what's got you noddin when I write
4465On the mic spit, nothing like a white kid
4466Black bitches even fucking with me cause I'm nice with
4467Raps, booty big as shit, I'm in it but she quite thick
4468Crap, from this angle I can barely fit the pipe tip
4469Like da the white man bright, and me don't bite
4470And me won't fight, me done watch da dark knight with a cold sprite
4471And me so kike, kite runner up on da cold night
4472And me done scrub de body with ton of the old spice
4473But fuck it
4474My buddy got a crib Nantucket
4475And everybody here with a bitch straight fucking
4476And everybody here know the kid stay bumpin'
4477My YouTube, Smith up on the Knicks, they subbing... aww.
4478I just checked up in yo bitch's pussy up on 4square
4479Mini golfing oh so often you woulda swore I toured there
4480Break 'em off up in my office you know I record in there,
4481It's boring there so fuck it
4482I been caking, don't mistake me for some rapper you hating
4483I'm actually making the hottest fucking tracks in the nation
4484Like Satan somehow created some elaborate gymnasium
4485Packing bowls in stadiums, came from packing the bowl in basements
4486Name a rapper in the game, spit a flame like you boy can
4487Everybody know I got it made like a boyband
4488Everybody know I'm getting laid like a Troy fan
4489I stay with Trojans on ma shit, ya dig
4490Man I ain't even into being curt dude
4491But ma head blowin up like I'm the kurt dude
4492And my friends getting hung up like a shirt do
4493Now they ain't the only homies fuckin with da burd dude
4494This for all ma homies lookin like a nerd who
4495Got a tennis serve and never broke a fucking curfew
4496I been getting ready for confetti, from the first boo
4497Game 6, I ain't bout to finish like the spurs do
4498Now they tryna get ya guy a deal
4499Cause the flow cash money, got a tyga feel
4500All these majors coming at me like I'm tiger healed
4501But ion't think the labels know about ya guy foreal
4502We sittin down, kickin and riffin, diggin the sound
4503Different from the shit dat's been spittin from typical clowns
4504Finna give me money in the bag and
4505Hunnies from the mag and
4506All the other shit they tell the dummies that can rap
4507But the fact of the matter is I ain't the rapper
4508They used to using, confusing, abusing with da chatter
4509I mean the dude across the table
4510Reppin for the label
4511Probly never met a rapper with a business major
4512So I am able
4513To avoid the fatal
4514Fate that every rapper face in they appraisal
4515Now I got em thinkin even bartering too
4516It's probly harder when the fuckin rapper's smarter than you
4517I came through
4518Same dude
4519Same crew
4520Same jew
4521And I tell these muthafuckas errything that they ain't knew
4522Yain't knew I'm about to get a grammy and leave
4523Michael Jordan in ma genes since I been 23
4524Except, I ain't ball playin at all, sayin da bol
4525Gave all it the game, he played it wrong
4526Made the songs for the laughs cause
4527Funny was the path but
4528Now I really wanna fuck these dummies in they asses
4529Practiced
4530Tell me I ain't climbing up that rap list
4531I bet a lot of fans'll listened to this and feel catfished
4532Damn where da Dicky dat I used to know
4533The goofy flow
4534Ma dude where the humor go
4535Well truth be told, I'll put that in a movie, show, or musical
4536But now I'm in the studio
4537And dudes in the booth knew that the jew can flow
4538And if you listenin to this shit, you should know
4539I'm too cold in this bitch
4540To be actin a clown
4541Fuckin around
4542If I wanna get ma hands on the crown
4543I'm getting down, letting the smile, beset to a frown now
4544The kid up from the burbs bout to settle in downtown
4545But maybe that's a bad move
4546Maybe I'm a fucking pussy if I'm letting people tell me what I can't do
4547Maybe all these rappers wanna wear the same shoes
4548Get into the game and never playing cause they can't move
4549Now I'm thinkin what would Jordan do
4550Back when everybody only wore a boring shoe
4551If he settled for what every other scorer used
4552Then you dudes wouldn't ever get the Jordan 2s
4553I'm snoring through, ya muthafuckin tours and tunes
4554The game needs change now, it's short a few
4555And I don't mean to harp about the Jordan dude
4556But there's a little bit of him in this adoring jew
4557Of course you, listen to that thinkin I mean I'm great
4558You mistake, thinkin of rap, and I what I want a play
4559J wanted baseball
4560But he nice at playin ball
4561When he went away, we acting like he went all AWOL
4562Always got a trade off
4563I see Jay and Kanye the same way I see Larry David
4564It's cliché
4565And I know I'm gonn make it
4566But I dunno if I prefer as Dicky or as David
4567I guess it's sorta like the sox and bulls
4568But I can't leave yet, gotta lot to prove
4569But I'm a rock ma shoes, watch the toes
4570And if it hurts, then I'm a find Dr. Scholl's
4571And... one day, I'm a find satisfaction from rappin
4572Or acting, or cracking up factions of black kids
4573Adapting to whatever is in front of me
4574And like Mike, I'm a be aight because of me
4575One life, better think of who you wanna be
4576It's your eyes, doesn't matter what they wanna see
4577You do it right, you the only one you need to please
4578You ain't that alive till you doin something you believe
4579Dis the type of shit that's making D
4580Think twice bout the mafuckin comedy
4581Cause the mic got a mafucka on his knees
4582Twerk dicky, dicky dicky twerk
4583Twerk dicky, dicky dicky twerk
4584Let's go, it's your boy LD, A.K.A. watch your girl pussy, homie
4585Y'all missed me, don't you I stay with a boner, I'm typically hard
4586My dickheads, I'm sorry, for keeping you waiting
4587Just know that I miss you I love y'all
4588Been leaving you all out to dry in the dark
4589Like a cum loaded tissue that's reference to semen
4590I woke up this morning like fuck it, I got to address all the fans I do
4591I need y'all to know I got plans I do
4592I need y'all to know I been slaving away on my debut
4593I'm taking a page out the playbook of Jay, Big and Dre, Nas and Ye
4594If you studying rap like I study it then
4595You would know what the fuck I been tryin' to say classic
4596It's harder to wait it is
4597But it's gotta be great it do
4598And then when I drop that shit all y'all gonna be like Lil Dicky we made it! we made it
4599To everyone listening I think that it's cool that we know what they don't they don't
4600It's not about if, only when, and it's fun to be in on the joke
4601Just did my first shows, nervous as shit, never been on the road
4602Started in Philly I signed my first titty, I killed dat shit
4603Still I ain't fucking no hoes like no pussy, it's sad
4604A part of the reason is none of the venues equipped with a shower it's so inconvenient
4605So I leave for an hour and when I come back ain't no bitches around them bitches be leaving
4606I fuck with this sound
4607Rapping like Migos is fun for a clown
4608I could say anything and at the end of my statement
4609This cadence will make it profound
4610Like for example, ya man is about to go ham in the kitchen
4611I'm fixin a sandwich woo
4612All it is is some turkey and mayo but tell me that shit ain't dramatic! on ciabatta
4613It's stupid emphatic
4614Stomach is fucked I been poopin' erratic damn
4615New Santa Monica dude I just moved in in March
4616And I'm bout to get into some Madness
4617Don't confuse what my plan is
4618I never go out it's depressing
4619I meant that my bracket about get sandy
4620The beach on my house ehh, more like three blocks away
4621I'm newly an Uncle Uncle Dicky
4622My bro had baby he did, she cute
4623I'll be on by the time she can talk
4624Her first words'll be Dicky we made it! that's a BABY
4625Can't wait to be famous oh
4626That shit gon' be wild I bet I'll meet Drake
4627I'm lookin' at Jason Sudeikis like who my Olivia Wilde I need an actress
4628I love Anna Kendrick legitimate feelings
4629She never tweet back not once, ever
4630I figure she's busy or think that I'm creepy
4631But baby I'm not! unless you like that shit
4632I just have this vision where both of us living like Bonnie and Clyde
4633That's you as a singer and me as a rapper
4634We could be like Jay and Beyonce for whites that could be so cool
4635That would be the life
4636I'd buy the Sixers and make you my wife
4637Nah I'm just kiddin', I've only been smitten
4638With totally fictional characters right obviously we'd have to get to know each other
4639You could be a grouch that would suck
4640You could be so mean I hope not
4641You could be the type that need warning with oral to avoid the cream some bitches hate the taste of semen
4642That's graphic as fuck I suck my own dick
4643But some bitches is bougie I've kissed other men
4644Forgive me, I just wanna make this pitch perfect I love all your movies these ad-libs are fun
4645I need me some pussy I'd buy it
4646I'm scared of the AIDS the virus
4647I wish I was reckless
4648There's rappers that's been getting head up on stage Danny Brown
4649I'm way too afraid my dick is a pussy
4650My dick been enraged
4651But soon when I'm fuckin in public post nut, he'll look up atcha boy and say Dicky we made it! get 'em D
4652I'm just fuckin with the flow
4653You know I still be on that ya ain't really fuckin with da boy
4654I got 150 different ways to cut dat
4655Love rap
4656Soon they'll be fuckin with the dork like a humpback
4657Yeah I'm bout to bring the fun back
4658Every other rapper need to go get and get a dunce cap
4659Now I got a one track
4660Mind till I run rap
4661Mine till I'm done
4662Wack rhymes better run rap run ho
4663Mafucka shit is done wrapped over
4664You ain't wanna see me come back nah
4665Y'all hot for a summer in July in Arizona
4666Lil Dicky literally is where the sun at
4667Knowing y'all, gotta show you where the sun at hot
4668All of y'all been bad where my son at hot
4669Where my son at hot
4670Where my son at hot
4671Where my son at hot
4672Come get spanked, ho!
4673My New Year's resolution is to call these rappers hoes
4674And mean that
4675I mean that shit
4676Y'all some hoes y'all some hoes
4677Y'all some hoes y'all some hoes
4678Adios that's Spanish
4679Aye y'all, on the real
4680I've been like over thinking everything these days
4681And I just wanted to come in today
4682And just have no plan and just make a song
4683So this song ain't about shit, it's just what I'm thinking
4684I should have done this before
4685I ain't got no plans for it, but it's fun to explore
4686I ain't got no pants on because I'm under record
4687I been some non-constrictive type of shit
4688I left my skinny jeans up on the floor of my adorable apartament
4689Pardon me, part of me, hard to believe
4690Retarded, part of me smart as a Harvard graduate deaggregate
4691Well above the averages, wondering where my salad is
4692I hate when they get salads but
4693It's hard for me to challenge that
4694I need to fucking balance all the crap that I devour
4695I been scouring the internet, been tryna find an intimate
4696Place to take an Tinder date
4697Straight up I'm amazed at how infrequently they pick me
4698I been spitting great, you think again my ass a dinner date
4699I'm thinking 'bout my gas, last I looked at that graphic, shit
4700Was creeping to the E, that's a terrible habit, man
4701Honestly, your boy been way to busy making dicky shit
4702Gotta rap, gotta get up on the map, gotta get a nap
4703Gotta get it cracking and get a plaque
4704Gotta go attract the masses but it's such molasses going
4705Slow as slow can go
4706I don't even know if I could wait
4707I just wanna run but I'm growing out of shape
4708In my PJ's being DJ, hit a replay, tryna get a little leeway
4709Overthinking every little thing, it's crazy
4710You ain't got to be rapping so crazy, just to persuade the nation
4711That you know how to be rapping amazing
4712Bro, on occasion you should let it go and let your brain flow
4713And say whatever come into... oh my God, that girl's so hot
4714Suck my dick, ho, suck my dick
4715Suck my dick, ho, suck my dick
4716Come suck my dick, ho, suck my dick
4717Or at the very least, touch my dick
4718Okay, excuse my libido
4719But the titties on that girl, homie, holy toledo
4720I just wanna see the world, think of all of it's people
4721I'm living so regal but wonder what I'd see through a peephole
4722Into Kinsacha or some shit, impossible but
4723It's probable they got a lot of people feeling some stuff, so
4724Oddly enough, I could probly become a buff
4725I bet they got a show up on Discovery but fuck it
4726I don't really care, out of tupperware, plus I'm out of underwear
4727I swear that doing laundry such a process I don't wanna bare
4728I want a bear that I can train, just imagine pouring rain
4729And comin' home and there's a panda snoring on the floor
4730That you can hug and praise, hundred days
4731Since I fucked that lady, don't play me, it's crazy
4732But I stay in, unless they play shit, rotten tomatoes
4733Lable eighty seven, the higher I are I admire art
4734Well, certain kind of art, I hate them paintings that
4735I swear that your boy can make and I'm tryna get in shape
4736By avoiding cake and I wanna get a place where the boys can stay
4737With a gate when they visit Dave in LA
4738What a shame vaca days is dead to me
4739Instead dude, get bread to them
4740My best moves at your venues and my set playing in your bedroom
4741That's head to me, real shit and my hand doing real slick
4742Cause I swear to y'all, I ain't plan for this
4743It's new territory, but it's real shit
4744And I'm real pissed this took an hour
4745Instead of days, but it's amazing
4746What's spontaneity, do for ya
4747And if you don't like it, you can...
4748I like the way this came out, that hook is fire
4749You know what I'm saying
4750That hook is the easiest hook I ever made in my fucking life
4751And that shit is, that shit goes, I gotta do this shit more often
4752Oooo
4753I ain't seen a guy get the clout that quick
4754Erry mafucka say he great right now, we could doubt that shit
4755Au revoire
4756Yung dick talkin bout all of y’all
4757Young tits looking like mardi gras I might sharpie ya’ll
4758I’m tryn party dog, I’m like ughh
4759I’m just tryn fuck
4760Erry mafucka in the way been fucked
4761Erry mafucka in the game been butt
4762Burd running circles, y’all been duck
4763Iont gotta chill who the fuck been y’all
4764Fam getting killed on some chris benoit
4765Iont got a deal but the meal quinoa and I got it for a steal cuz the bill been comped
4766The server know L, like he so suburban and shit
4767He just been murdering shit like he take it too personal shit
4768Word is the shit that be purple up in that kid history is slightly perverted and shit
4769Word is there’s 32 bitches who last name is tinder up in that kid phone
4770His profile been strong
4771I can't compete with these pictures like why is he on
4772Suck dick mafucka
4773Suck dick mafucka Im just tryna get the hoes on the down low
4774Iont even got friends in this town, I just moved to LA so I date cuz I’m outgoing
4775Kinda lonely too
4776Ex girl got another homie too, I’m not mad, just kinda sad
4777But it help that these hoes like rap
4778It’s about damn time that the boy LD bout to get up in the fun shit
4779Im the goddamn man like damn erry time a mafucka hit the function
4780Now the man wit a tan got a plan and I dare a mafucka make assumptions
4781I dont care I ain't there, I’ll be damned if im bout to go and let up on the gumption
4782Ugh
4783They ain't really ready
4784I ain't even hard
4785But I stay wit da semi
4786Bitches in the car, you could say I got a bevy
4787Shit pretty par, dicky do it on the the reggy
4788Lotta yall ain’t probly never heard of on the reggy
4789Das a lil something lil dicky just invented
4790Now the white kids gonna say it on the reggy
4791You could say I pull the strings when it’s cool, lil penny
4792I just hit the double digits fucking bitches
4793Out in Venice hearing mafuckas bumpin dicky
4794They treat a youngin like I’m Caesar with the ass kissing
4795That line about a fucking salad if you ain't get it
4796But I ain't tryn get tossed, rap been lost
4797Like the map been off
4798They blowing smoke like the back exhaust
4799Fact you soft like an overcooked linguine noodle
4800You bitch made I ain't fuckin witchu lil poodles
4801Ma vocab the bomb
4802I’m the don with the lexicon
4803Cats pajamas
4804Eastside reppin
4805Westside stepping
4806You know im the man goddamn it
4807I just got a handjob damn it
4808Like from a masseuse
4809She was tryn fuck, I ain't let her pursue
4810I ain't got 160 bucks
4811Plus I mentally connect with the hoes I fuck
4812And this was a whore
4813I mean a literal whore
4814Not like massages in porn
4815This was an overweight asian
4816With no aspirations
4817We never developed rapport
4818Eatin boar’s head in my other whore’s bed
4819Well not a whore, but you know she ain't a girlfriend
4820We still about to get it crackin paul george leg
4821I got a napkin if I cum within the foreplay
4822It’s about damn time that the boy LD bout to get up in the fun shit
4823Im the goddamn man like damn erry time a mafucka hit the function
4824Now the man wit a tan got a plan and I dare a mafucka make assumptions
4825I dont care I ain't there, I’ll be damned if I’m bout to go and let up on the gumption
4826Iono the definition, fuck is average
4827I been sittin, watching waiting, so impatient like it’s baggage
4828Claim I’m bout to be the greatest, naked pictures in my chat
4829These other rappers fucking lazy word to bangin in a hammock
4830But y’all ain't even hangin
4831Y’all ain't in the running
4832Boy I’m fucking up the track, like da young’n into running
4833Y’all are lighter with the fire, I want a match
4834He be like naw I’m bout it, bro how you get at that
4835Like these bitches tryn rap
4836They on’t get they time wrappin
4837I’m coming
4838Like I’m fucking
4839They underwood and to be frank I ain't fronting
4840Word to Kevin Kevin spacey I’m another level
4841Debatably crazier, than shit they play beside the porn that you playing
4842At a matinee eatin dip n dots
4843I’m getting checks, fuck I care that my twitter not
4844Okay I care a little bit
4845Algorithm isn’t doin it’s job
4846I’m assuming it’s flawed
4847They probably not believing in Hobbes
4848The nice boy been ballin
4849White boy been a damn king scott pollard
4850Gotta tell my mom stop callin
4851But dog she confused about ma destiny
4852Making me repeat myself like I was judging spelling bees but
4853I’m just tryna smoke weed, grab a quesarito
4854Got azul by a Spanish chick. Muy bonito
4855Or bonita
4856Das ma vida
4857Keep the rapping tight both ways
4858Dexterous
4859Where my rita
4860And when it’s y’all it’s a nice sound, when it’s me, it be like errbody pipe down
4861Y’all the background
4862Play ya part ho
4863Chex mix grubbin up at wells fargo
4864Had to make a new account, didn’t want the checks mixed
4865Y’all are tryna fit in I’m the one who playin tetris
4866This is the beginning of my day, it’s only breakfast
4867Y’all the mini bars
4868Y’all got mini bars
4869Ma girl ass thick, that’s my minotaur
4870You hear it fading but you crave another minute hard
4871That’s the difference when you david to these bigger stars
4872But you know goliath getting rocked he gone finish scarred
4873I’m bout to break erry record….white girls fall, Eric Decker
4874LD, A.K.A. the urologist, this my year, show them D
4875Okay, I'm 'bout to do it all
4876I don't think I'm stopping, 'til it's mountains of my balls
4877Y'all like, oh dear, like I'm mounted on the wall
4878But the way I'm 'bout it, 'bout it my accountant getting mauled
4879His wife 'bout to leave his ass
4880He been working all night, while she give him baths
4881Actually, I'm pretty light, like, within his tasks
4882He got bigger clients, but I'm nice, so just let me bask
4883These white bitches let me smash
4884I get scared though, no bravado
4885Third base for the O's, like Machado
4886Miss, I ordered this with Avocados, thanks
4887Ey, walk up in this bitch, like I was born bread
4888Going deeper with this spitting, like some porn head
4889Picture every rapper laying on the floor dead
4890While I'm in a chair, cross legged, eating corn bread
4891I just fucked a black chick, yeah, I'm proud
4892If that's racist, suck a black dick
4893I'm the one who going straight to the top
4894Don't mistake it, it's not that flagrant when you blatantly flop
4895And plus I stay down, like my date gown in this bitch
4896I'm about to hit the playground, straight clown, all these kids
4897I'm watching ladybugs with your lady, I got it made like that
4898Cleaning house like a maid might rap
4899I don't play with you lame type cats
4900Say the same shit for days, motherfucker, if you cold I got flames
4901You're the ice caps
4902I bet money y'all don't even know about the ice caps
4903I don't know that much either
4904Push the button, lean the couch back, everybody chill
4905Time to feel better than the free bread at the outback
4906This so good, chill, put your phone back
4907Feeling better than the free bread at the outback
4908Eat that shit, like we supposed to do
4909Take a rib, get it in, while it's toasted, too
4910They be like chill, Dicky, chill, I want another
4911They be like chill, Dicky, chill
4912You see the butter on that motherfucker
4913'Bout time someone bringing back that east coast
4914I got that shit that make a Rabbi be like preach, bro
4915Cory turned Marshawn, now it's beast mode
4916I don't buy her sushi, but she still be licking me, so
4917I'm getting pussy, like I'm Tebow, if he a virgin, I'm a cheese scone
4918Motherfucker, I ain't no cheese scone, I'm a grown man
4919I'm just saying that lil David is coming, got Perrier in abundance
4920I'm with a bitch who pushing fingers down
4921That's saying she want it
4922Don't look it's head up on the table, label that seven nothing
4923I'm faded snacking on Funyuns, while making raps
4924That's a luncheon
4925I'm packing a punch and packing lunch and packed in incumbents
4926Rapping dumber than some tackle football
4927With no pads to a motherla
4928That's how you know it's going down
4929Philly D, so you know I keep that Hoagie around
4930Philly beef, we don't fuck with that baloney clown
4931Y'all made a mess, let me just push that old Zamboni around
4932That's for hockey if you curious
4933Treat you like my bitches, only peep between the periods
4934Treat you like my dishes, only need you when I mentioned
4935To be eating something viscous, y'all deliciously inferior
4936Dicky sicker than Nigeria
4937All types of health issues over there, lot of AIDS
4938Don't fuck with me, don't fuck with me, please, don't fuck with me
4939I wouldn't like it at all
4940I'm about to buy a monkey and just chill with him
4941Like in three years, buy a monkey and just chill with him
4942Dressing him well as fuck, like, throwing overalls on that monkey
4943Naming him some shit like Greg, like some normal ass name
4944Like just Greg and, and like, and like really develop a strong
4945A strong relationship with the monkey
4946I assume he become one of my better friends
4947Professional Rapper coming out this fall, I feel bad for the game
4948I feel the hope sometimes I just feel bad for the game
4949They ain't ready, woah, I, I just got a fucking Hinge match
4950Like throwing that out, y'all, just got a Hinge match, y'all on Hinge
4951It's really irresponsible not to be, it's just free pussy
4952Wassup y'all
4953I realized I never kinda just like full on swagged on cats
4954You know what I mean And I was thinking about that
4955And like, damn D, why the fuck not You know I mean
4956Your swag is a, is a real thing, I think
4957And I've been looking at other rappers swag
4958And being intimidated by it, but like why
4959I'm an impressive young man
4960I guess I could tell you I'm blowing up big
4961And I'm 'bout to get money
4962Although I ain't joking, America also agree that I'm funny
4963The rapping, you like it
4964Oh, this is some shit I picked up in my twenties
4965I'm really a writer, you knew it, it's stupid
4966I got an eight hundred, come fuck with that
4967Lil ho, come fuck with that
4968Honestly I could have had whatever fucking job
4969I wanted in the country
4970But I fuck with rap, real shit, bro, I fuck with rap
4971And I don't mean it, like I fuck with that
4972I mean it like I run amuck in that
4973I talk about somebody cock and I buzz off that
4974Know I'm saying I'm the man right now
4975Act like ya man playing right now
4976Act like I ain't get hundred granding in from the fans right now
4977Act like I ain't planned that out
4978Act like I'm not about to get them bitches from the mag
4979Picture that right, cauce I rap nice, I'm attractive to that type
4980Living that life and I'm naturally that likeable
4981That right dimple, not like the left, but it's barely worse
4982Bitches playing marry, fuck, kill, inevitably become Mz. Burd
4983Go head and fuck them, I'm real and my jumper is ill
4984Y'all got swag, but I got reservations
4985Ya just boys and I'm the voice of my generation
4986Like I really belive that, like I think I'd get us
4987Run it back, homie talking shit, pipe down
4988I don't care 'bout history, I'm the shit right now
4989You can tell me that I'm brash, but it's hardly a fight
4990I've been tryna tell you hoes, I ain't cocky, I'm right
4991Swagga on a hundred milligram, I can play the villain, fam
4992Put your boy in any room, I swear to God he still the man
4993Lil homie, I am Obama
4994You the man among some bitches, bunch of lying Juwannas
4995Flex, run it back, homie talking shit pipe down
4996I don't care 'bout history, I'm the shit right now
4997You can tell me that I'm brash, but it's hardly a fight
4998I've been tryna tell you hoes, I ain't cocky, I'm right
4999I ain't cocky I'm right, I ain't cocky I'm right
5000Everything I say I do and I ain't stopping tonight
5001Swagga, swagga, swagga, swagaa
5002That's really fun to say like that, y'all should try it
5003If you ever get some free time, or on my level
5004I never done acting, but somehow, I still get auditions for movies
5005The last one I went after Bob Odenkirk
5006And that's Saul if you clueless
5007The way they react to my rapping
5008It show me, it's bigger than music
5009At shows they be laughing, then dancing
5010They never seen anyone do this
5011Come fuck with that
5012Lil ho, come fuck with that
5013Was in the number one department in the country
5014I was one up in my class, coulda run with that
5015Biz week, coulda run with that, then Lil D had a run with ads
5016Lil D wrote couple for the League, got them on TV
5017Then was done with that, y'all high I'm matterhorn
5018And no offense I matter more
5019The Rec League, like Steve, LD winning back to back
5020With scattered blacks, then smack y'all in scattegories
5021You in a trash, like category, I'm getting ass no statutory
5022You seeing red I'm matadoring
5023Ya rap is boring and wack deplorable
5024Lack the morals that make mine allegorical
5025I'm the motherfucking man of my time right now
5026Got ya whole team looking at the man, like damn
5027That's LeBron, that's Durant, that's Assange
5028That's your aunt, on my cock, say I can't
5029Even parents fucking with me
5030Bro, I'm so comfy with myself, but here snuggle with me
5031Like please, come here and snuggle
5032See what the fuck happen to you, you gon' like it, I'm real warm
5033I shift my weight, so your legs won't fall asleep
5034I didn't even mention how nice I was at tennis neither
5035So, don't forget about that
5036Lemme freak! I don't give a damn what you playin right now, this is me comin at you as a man right now, lemme freak
5037I'm talkin to ya lemme freak Goddamn it lemme freak, just lemme freak
5038Girl I smell that pussy across the room
5039There's no disrespect, they could make that shit perfume
5040Oh good God, I'm nasty
5041Don't look around girl, I'm lookin at you
5042What's good I'm Dave
5043What's your name Where you from Who you with
5044What's your policy on birth control When were you last tested Girl I gotta know
5045If you gon let me hit it raw, you gotta go
5046That would be crazy irresponsible
5047You know I only get with a bitch I mentally respect
5048We ain't even gotta fuck unless you and me connect
5049Minimally I'd like to ejaculate somehow though
5050Girl, I don't think I'm being unreasonable unless you that naive, that you thought this was a friend thing
5051I hope you not a freak so don't moan and spool your body soak and wet
5052My bad, I know I sweat profusely
5053Also, I won't fuck from the side girl, I'd lose like half my dick
5054Are you good about the pill
5055Cuz even if it's foreplay, I should know that shits for real, girl I got hella pre-cum
5056Also, I'm wondering bout the way that you cum
5057Like is it external stimulation or penetration-based Fuck it
5058You know I enjoy that way
5059But you know damn well, I just want my bed
5060They gon say I fell, I got blown away
5061I'm a hopeless romantic, girl I'm being dramatic but it's just the truth
5062Wait hold up, I should slow down
5063Don't even know you enough to go down
5064But if you want it we should go now
5065And we gon find out if it's great or it's strange
5066Oh girl, I could get you 4 to 8 minutes
5067Won't force the issue
5068Bitch it's too crowded
5069So girl if you bad then just give me that signal
5070But make it a loud one, I'm awful at this, hoe on the low, you [fire] cut the shit
5071Girl what you tryin to do
5072I got candles, Nonpareils, and three condoms in my room
5073The Nonpareils might be old as shit
5074Like they've been in there for a while
5075But fact of the matter is I don't want this to be no blip
5076I'd prefer to fall in love or swear I'm on some crazy shit. crazy shit
5077Like honestly, I need someone to save the kid. save the kid
5078It could be you but first you gotta let me freak, just lemme freak, just lemme freak again
5079Girl, what's wrong with you
5080I need to freak
5081I need to freak
5082I need to freak
5083Like please let me freak
5084Like please let me freak
5085Please let me freak right now
5086Please lemme freak, lemme freak right now
5087Girl we could get married
5088Like we could be fuckin
5089A daughter named Bailey
5090That barely
5091We gon eat so many goddamn meals
5092What's your name
5093Girl, you better keep them dirty paws off my chicken lo mein
5094We'll talk the boundaries out together is all I'm sayin
5095And for the record girl I'll eat that pussy later
5096Like when I know you a little bit better
5097But for now it's just too intimate
5098Like it's too much
5099You don't even have to give me head either
5100Like I'm totally onboard with a hand job
5101Especially if there's like lube or some shit around
5102In a weird way, I actually prefer it to head
5103There's no guilt
5104No guilt at all
5105In fact, it feels just as good to me too if not better
5106I think it's a dick sensitivity issue
5107At the same time, there's no way you should complain about such a thing
5108Actually, you know what...
5109I don't, I-I will say one thing. I'd rather you sleep in a hotel downtown than sleep at your friend's house. You need a good night's sleep.
5110Ha, why
5111Well, because you're gonna get up and perform, honey.
5112Yeah, I mean...
5113You need, you just, I guess I just think you're underestimating...
5114I know you're gonna perform, you're gonna perform 3 shows in 4 nights.
5115Yeah.
5116You know, you don't wanna get sick. You don't wanna have a cold, you don't, you know. I'm trying not to be a Jewish mother, here, but I think you're really underestimating this.
5117No, you guys are handling it, I'd say you're playing your role great as the, the Jewish parents of a rapper. I'm curious to hear the conversations that happen between other rappers and their parents, I think these are interesting.
5118What do you mean by that, David
5119What do you mean what do I mean by that
5120When you say we're handling our role, you think we're being, uh, we're being sarcastic
5121No, I-I enjoy it, I think it's funny. I'm just saying, like, I can't imagine, like, Puff Daddy or something talking to his mom and she's telling him, like, You better get a good night's sleep, you can't catch a cold.
5122I-I, you know what, actually, you're gonna laugh at me. I disagree with you, I think anybody's mother would do that.
5123Ok.
5124And when Puff Daddy was 25 years old and the night before he was performing, I'm sure somebody was telling him the same thing. That's what mothers do. Black, white, Indian, it doesn't matter who we are.
5125I respect that, but Jewish mothers a little more.
5126Yeah, Jewish mothers maybe a tad more.
5127Hi, I'm Dave
5128I'm Strange no
5129I've been up so long
5130Don't know where ill go don't know what I know I'm wrong
5131I must be gone gone I must be gone gone
5132I'll play my god
5133What you doing
5134Like everything
5135Don't shoot down my pair of wings
5136Let me just smoke my Mary Jane
5137Ill just hold my marriage in
5138And that coin flip so damn american
5139Ever take a walk in the street
5140Sit up in the middle of the median
5141And they come and go and they come and go
5142And my shit been bumpin' my shit been dope
5143But I'm missing something I'm kissing hoes
5144And I'm missing something I'm switching rolls
5145And I'm pissed at something I'm drifting slow
5146I got zip files
5147And I know if I click them they gonna unlock
5148How do I know that though I wasn't taught
5149I guess that shit that you learn on the job
5150And my permanent fog is burning like smog
5151Look at your feet totally odd
5152What is a feat what is a job
5153Look at my teeth and they been moving a bit
5154So as of late I've got in my retainer but dawg
5155Sooner or later the pain is a problem
5156Only its not only its not
5157That mean its working I guess I'm like god
5158I don't ever front out here for a minute go crazy
5159Oh my god oh my god
5160I can't even stop this song
5161Now the kid been getting bananas
5162He going Donkey Kong
5163King of the ape shit
5164He going Donkey Kong
5165King of the ape shit
5166I earned shit while he learned quick
5167Churned shit while he cursed this
5168And I turned around like I heard something
5169But i swear to god I ain't heard nothing
5170I second guessed you but escalated
5171Shit ready when I'm done renovating
5172Don't fuck with me on my escapade
5173Don't fuck with me on my escapade
5174And I met a boy on that mountain top
5175And he said to me go round the block
5176And I did that and I came back and he took back what I took back
5177I stood back while he took that
5178And I looked back while he looked at me
5179And that's when I knew I was on
5180Shouldn't be long
5181I keep it moving along
5182I keep on proving you wrong
5183I keep on doing the shit that you want me to do
5184It don't have to be public at all
5185It will be our little secrete
5186Unless you do songs about it
5187Hmm but why would you do that
5188Well...
5189I don't ever front out here for a minute go crazy
5190Oh my god oh my god
5191I can't even stop this song
5192Now the kid been getting bananas
5193He going Donkey Kong
5194King of the ape shit
5195He going Donkey Kong
5196King of the ape shit
5197My own boss
5198Work less
5199Man, she always taking the most
5200Conference room every day is the worst
5201Can I see your work
5202I was zerked, I was search
5203Tryna figure out them alibis
5204This your work
5205I was drinking with some black guys
5206Hey I done came up sho' nuff
5207Like, May I see your work
5208I'm like oh, that's my boss, she a bitch
5209She know this
5210She looking at me every day
5211Like, Dave, where you going
5212I'm looking back like, Hoe
5213I hate your demanding
5214To print some shit, but you don't even know
5215Now look what happened, now who rapping
5216Now at work I ask to look at bitches' titties then this happens
5217Titties looking back at me like Dicky, boy, what's cracking
5218I look back at titties like I need a sec, I'm rapping
5219Titties looking back at me like, take your time, you snapping
5220I'm like, woo, I'm getting paid for that
5221I'm getting paid for that
5222Nah, I'm getting paid for that
5223I'm getting paid for that
5224Nah, I'm getting paid for that
5225All of these hoes been on me
5226I'll never go back homie
5227Homie last week I was up in Miami
5228Got paid to chill in the club
5229Literally, chilling, like not even rapping
5230I think I did a good job
5231Sat down on Twitter, my new correspondence
5232Is going through all of these wonderful compliments
5233Used to be scrutinized in all these documents
5234Now when I sign off on something, it's body parts
5235Titty, booty, macking a cutie
5236Got a bag in the back of the room of the venue cause she copped that meet and greet
5237I got them going down in their prime like Aaliyah be
5238Used to post up, on time, no brakes
5239Got a purp poster on the vine, no grapes
5240Used to have to swallow all the pride
5241Had to piss out the slacks of the sack in the sweats every day
5242Used to buy brands, now the brands pay Dave
5243Like, I just got a box of Pumas, cause they think I'm cool
5244Watch me mention StarKist Tuna, watch my friends get full
5245I used to sit and wait for Friday
5246But now my whole week like a Friday
5247I'm getting paid for that
5248Nah, I'm getting paid for that
5249I'm getting paid for that
5250Nah, I'm getting paid for that
5251All of these hoes been on me
5252I'll never go back homie
5253Last year I'm stuck up doing shit up in a cubicle
5254They tell me what to do, I'm thinking fuck that shit
5255But y'all, I couldn't tell them what the fuck I'm thinking
5256Now they're paying just to listen to this shit, I got up on my leg
5257Got three or four bitches who 'bout to get the fourth down
5258That's a first, I remember when what lunch I picked was all I get
5259My bitch make that coffee, now only boss me around when we fuck
5260Was missing college but now they bringing me back, it's still fun
5261God damn Dicky, you too old to be fucking all these kids
5262Yeah, I know, but if you can rap, it's a lot less creepy though
5263I'm smoking weed in public, but it never seem to matter
5264Dump a bottle of water on your clothes and you ecstatic
5265I don't ever have to set alarms, I wake up supernatural
5266I can grab a bitch's hand and she will scream you so attractive
5267How did this happen
5268I'm getting paid for that
5269Nah, I'm getting paid for that
5270I'm getting paid for that
5271Nah, I'm getting paid for that
5272All of these hoes been on me
5273I'll never go back homie
5274I used to be up in Excel every day with a bitch very proficient
5275Now I just suck on my dick, suck on my own dick, man
5276I suck on my own dick, every rapper do it
5277Just a thing, an inside thing I learned
5278It's absurd, it's like, I'm in the industry now, so, I'm seeing shit
5279Every rapper suck they own dick, it's not just me
5280Swear to God on the Bible
5281Aiyyo fam, check this out
5282I was just at the club right?
5283Heard these two dudes talkin
5284One of them said to the other one
5285that they knew someone, who said you guys are WACK!
5286Who said we're wack? You said we're wack?
5287You take it back! Who said we're wack?
5288You talkin smack? You're gonna get smacked!
5289You sayin that I'm wack but it just ain't so
5290Someone said we're wack, why would they say that?
5291I don't think we're wack, who said we're wack?
5292Who said we're wack? I can't believe that
5293They must be smokin crack, to say that we're wack
5294Say that we're wack, you probably get smacked
5295if you say we're wack, did you say we're wack?
5296WHO SAID WE'RE WACK? I'll paint your eye black!
5297Won'tcha check my facts - who said we're wack?
5298How could a person up and call a person wack?
5299How could the devil turn the blue sky black?
5300How many babies born will never reach their dreams?
5301And how could a person call another person wack?
5302I heard a rumor that somebody said we're wack
5303I think that's wack, to call someone wack
5304I AM NOT WACK, NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY
5305WHAT DID YOU SAY? DID YOU SAY I'M WACK?!
5306All the ladies in the house put your hands up
5307All the fellas in the house put your hands up
5308Now whoever said we're wack put your hand up
5309Now everyone else, put your hands down
5310Oh there he is, there he is!
5311What is that, Cristal? No!
5312Dom P? Hell no!
5313This is that Carlos Santana champagne!
5314Oh shit, Santana DVX? That's my joint!
5315Mine too, but a lot of these busters don't know about it
5316WELL LET'S TELL THESE MOTHERFUCKERS!
5317As a kid, I used to lay awake and think
5318When was Santana gonna make a drink?
5319But now I'm all grown and my dream came true
5320Santana champagne, from here to you
5321From the heart of Napa Valley and the guitar king
5322Comes a sparkling wine, to make a blind man sing
5323Yo it's the cham-pan-yah, from the man with the bandana
5324I can't stand a flute with anything but Santana
5325What's the first name in cham - it's Carlos
5326And to that man I propose a toast
5327In the 60's, he had lots of freebie sex
5328But now he's gettin down with the DVX
5329Excuse me fellas!
5330Am I to understand that Carlos Santana has made a champagne?
5331That's right motherfucker! Here, try it
5332Alright pops bottle AWWWWWWWWW SHIT!
5333I feel alive for the first time
5334Each sip hits my lips like a landmine
5335Without Carlos in my life I was livin a lie
5336He makes his guitar weep, but his champagne cries
5337He's a Southwest, tie wearin bolo champ
5338Comin straight out the box with a bolo champ'
5339Yo he a beast with the sugar and yeast, mix it in pots
5340Like the way his release mixed jazz blues and pops
5341And the salsa fusion, he's lady's shoe producin
5342Plus he teamed with Rob Thomas for a music revolution
5343On the 7th day, it was said God rest
5344But on the 8th day he made the DVX
5345Gentlemen, gentlemen, what is all the hubbub about?
5346Carlos Santana! That's right
5347I see bitches-is enjoyin my sparkling wine
5348We certainly are Well be careful
5349cause this shit'll get you fucked up
5350Bitch!
5351I'm like no other, one of a kind, my sparkling wine
5352Santana DVX make you wanna have sex OOOOH
5353I'm rich bitch! I'm havin my chips
5354Get laid all the time, by 70's chicks - uhh
5355Won hella Grammies, batches throw me they panties
5356I'm probably your daddy, I probably nutted in your mammy
5357I'm a Bay boy, city life, been around the corner
5358Try to play me foul and my vatos gon' run up on ya
5359A legend, a boss, that's what I are
5360Ask about me pimp, 'tana be killin the guitar
5361Old enough to know better but young enough to not care
5362I get active - might slap a bitch with my hair WHIP
5363Left coast up top I bang that shit
5364My sparkling wine'll pop Cristal on her lip
5365Cain't stop, won't stop gettin my bread
5366Pack arenas and coliseums now watch me shred
5367Ohhhh, San-tan-tan-tan-ahhhh
5368A monkey drank a bottle and learned to speak
5369A queer drank a bottle and became a freak
5370A lion drank a bottle and forgot how to growl
5371A horse drank a bottle, and fucked a cow!Lock eyes from across the room
5372Down my drink while the rhythms boom
5373Take your hand and skip the names
5374No need here for the silly games
5375Make our way through the smoke and crowd
5376The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud
5377Move in close as the lasers fly
5378Our bodies touch and the angels cry
5379Leave this place go back to yours
5380Our lips first touch outside your doors
5381The whole night what we've got in store
5382Whisper in my ear that you want some more
5383And I
5384Jizz in my pants
5385This really never happens you can take my word
5386I won't apologise, that's just absurd
5387Mainly your fault from the way that you dance
5388And now I
5389Jizz in my pants
5390Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a slut
5391Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt
5392I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus
5393Now I'll go home and change
5394I need a few things from the grocery
5395Do things alone now mostly
5396Left me heart-broken not lookin' for love
5397Surprise in my eyes when I looked above
5398The check-out counter and I saw a face
5399My heart stood still so did time and space
5400Never felt that I could feel real again
5401But the look in her eyes said I need a friend
5402She turned to me that's when she said it
5403Looked me dead in the face, asked, "Cash or credit?"
5404And I
5405Jizzed in my pants
5406It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me
5407But we're going to need a clean up on aisle 3
5408And now I'm posed in an awkward stance because I
5409Jizzed in my pants
5410To be fair you were flirting a lot
5411Plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot
5412Please stop acting like you're not impressed
5413One more thing, I'm gonna pay by check
5414Last week I saw a film
5415As I recall it was a horror film
5416Walked outside into the rain
5417Checked my phone and saw you rang and I
5418Jizzed in my pants
5419Speeding down the street when the red lights flash
5420Need to get away need to make a dash
5421A song comes on that reminds me of you and I
5422Jizz in my pants
5423The next day my alarm goes off and I
5424Jizz in my pants
5425Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I
5426Jizz in my pants
5427When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense I
5428Jizzed in my pants
5429I just ate a grape and I
5430Jizzed in my pants
5431I went
5432Jizzed in my pants
5433OK, seriously you guys can we, OK?
5434I jizz right in my pants every time you're next to me
5435And when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me
5436You say I'm premature I just call it ecstasy
5437I wear a rubber at all times it's a necessity
5438'Cause I
5439Jizz in my pants
5440I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants, yes I jizz in my pants, yes I jizz in my pants
5441Yes I jizz in my pants
5442I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants
5443Shortayyyy Aww shit
5444Get your towels ready it's about to go down shorty, yeah
5445Everybody in the place hit the fuckin deck shorty, yeah
5446But stay on your motherfuckin toes
5447We runnin this, let's go
5448I'm on a boat I'm on a boat
5449I'm on a boat I'm on a boat
5450Everybody look at me cause I'm sailin on a boat sailin on a boat
5451I'm on a boat I'm on a boat
5452I'm on a boat
5453Take a good hard look at the motherfuckin boat boat, yeah
5454I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me
5455Straight flowin on a boat on the deep blue sea
5456Bustin five knots, wind whippin out my coat
5457You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat
5458Take a picture, trick trick I'm on a boat, bitch bitch
5459We drinking Santana champ, cause it's so crisp crisp
5460I got my swim trunks, and my flippie-floppies
5461I'm flippin burgers, you at Kinko's straight flippin copies
5462I'm ridin on a dolphin, doin flips and shit
5463The dolphin's splashin, gettin e'rybody all wet
5464But this ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets
5465I'm on a boat motherfucker, don't you ever forget
5466I'm on a boat and, it's goin fast and
5467I got a nautical themed pashmina afghan
5468I'm the king of the world, on a boat like Leo
5469If you're on the shore, then you're sho' not me-oh
5470Get the fuck up, this boat is REAL!!!
5471Fuck land, I'm on a boat, motherfucker motherfucker
5472Fuck trees, I climb buoys, motherfucker motherfucker
5473I'm on the deck with my boys, motherfucker yeah
5474This boat engine make noise, motherfucker
5475Hey ma, if you could see me now see me now
5476Arms spread wide on the starboard bow starboard bow
5477Gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow moon somehow
5478Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible
5479Yeah, never thought I'd be on a boat
5480It's a big blue watery road yeah
5481Poseidon!! Look at me, oh all hands on deck
5482Never thought I'd see the day
5483When a big boat comin my way
5484Believe me when I say, I fucked a mermaid
5485Whoahhh
5486Sha-sha-shorty, shorty
5487Yeah yeah yeahhh
5488Well he was the Sax Man from the state of Tennessee
5489First set in with the band at the ripe old age of three - weeks old
5490And when he blew into that horn all the people gathered 'round
5491Club manager jumped right up and said "Boy I gotta have that sound!"
5492Scream "Hallelujah Lord!", I said the Sax Man's got my soul
5493Everybody gotta move their feet, when the Sax Man started to blow
5494Now blow it Sax Man!
5495Mmmmmm'kay he's a little shy, but his genius cannot hide
5496Cause when the Sax Man starts to win he gonna take you on a ride
5497Take it Sax Man!
5498Ow! Take it Sax Man!
5499Okay he'll be right with you folks!
5500All right, Sax Man, that's my fault, I put you on the spot
5501But now you're all warmed up and this-a next one's gonna be hot
5502Kick it Sax Man! C'mon!
5503What the fuck are you doing!!
5504Haha, okay! Why don't we have a little inspiration now
5505You know this game, Sax Man!
5506Repeat after me
5507Here we go, and..
5508Shibbidy bop bop, buda bop bah one note
5509Dip dip di-dip, dip dip di-dip dip two weak notes
5510Arrip da di-dip, bop ba-doo-doo day-day no sound at all
5511Fuckin play somethin Sax Man! pause.. one weak note
5512Okay, movin on!
5513Sax Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!
5514Sax Man!
5515Haha, okay! Why don't we have a little inspiration now
5516You know this game, Sax Man!
5517Repeat after me
5518Here we go, and..
5519Shibbidy bop bop, buda bop bah one note
5520Dip dip di-dip, dip dip di-dip dip two weak notes
5521Arrip da di-dip, bop ba-doo-doo day-day no sound at all
5522Fuckin play somethin Sax Man! pause.. one weak note
5523Okay, movin on!
5524Sax Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!
5525Sax Man!
5526Hit The Chronic what? cles of Narnia
5527Yes The Chronic what? cles of Narnia
5528We love The Chronic what? cles of Narnia
5529Pass The Chronic what? cles of Narnia
5530Yo stop at the deli, the theater's overpriced
5531You got the backpack? Gonna pack it up nice
5532Don't want security to get suspicious!
5533Mr. Pibb and Red Vines equals crazy delicious!
5534Yo reach in my pocket, pull out some dough
5535Girl acted like she'd never seen a ten befo'
5536IT'S ALL ABOUT THE HAMILTONS BABY
5537Throw the snacks in the bag and I'm a ghost like Swayze
5538Roll up to the theater ticket buyin, what we're handlin
5539You can call us Aaron Burr from the way we're droppin Hamiltons
5540Now parked in our seats, movie trivia's the illest
5541What "Friends" alum starred in films with Bruce Willis?
5542We answered so fast it was scary
5543Everyone stared in awe when we screamed MATTHEW PERRY!
5544Now quiet in the theater or it's gonna get tragic
5545We're about to get taken to a dream world of magic!
5546Hey what's up man?
5547Aww not much, you?
5548Hey are you ready for the party tonight?
5549Yeah man already got a case of Santana champagne
5550So, should be good
5551Oh nice
5552Yeah that's... YOO-HOOOO!
5553Aww shit
5554Oh man, don't make eye contact
5555DING-DONG! NORMAL GUY IN THE HOUSE!
5556Hey man
5557Hey
5558OH IT'S GREAT SEEING YOU OTHER NORMAL GUYS
5559Ohh yeah
5560Uh-huh
5561WHAT ARE YOU GUYS UP TOOOOO!
5562Ahh not much
5563HEY WHAT ARE YOU OTHER NORMAL GUYS UP TO!
5564Seriously nothing we're just standing here
5565DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT I HATE!!
5566What?
5567HANGING OUT WITH A WEIRDO!
5568Yeah
5569HANGING OUT WITH SOME LOSER WEIRDO
5570Yeah we..
5571IT'S MY BIGGEST PEEVE
5572Yeah well I was just actually
5573IT'S LIKE THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE WE'RE COMING FROM
5574Right, we understand
5575I CAN'T TAKE IT WHEN SOME WEIRDO SHOWS UP UNANNOUNCED
5576Okay well I gotta get going
5577THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ANY OF US
5578Okay man yeah
5579NONE OF US HAVE ANY MAJOR PRO-BLEMS!
5580Ohhh man
5581HEY LET'S MAKE A PACT!
5582What?
5583LET'S MAKE A SUICIDE PACT!
5584Ohh no, that's cracy
5585I'll go first
5586"And the award for best comedy sketch goes to
5587The Lonely Island"
5588Who said we're wack? Who said we're wack?
5589You take it back - who said we're wack?
5590Thank you very much
5591Imagine in your mind a posh country club
5592The stuffy old money where the poor kid's snubbed
5593The spread is bland: sauerkraut and boiled goose
5594There's no way these people will ever cut loose
5595But then I walk in the room, hold my boombox high
5596And what happened next, will blow your mind
5597Everything got outta control
5598The music was so entrancing
5599Everyone got out on the floor
5600It was a bunch of old white people dancing
5601Now picture if you will a bunch of business men
5602Stuffed in the boardroom like pigs in a pen
5603The ties around the necks are like a hangman's noose
5604In the middle of the table there's a boiled goose
5605The old people smell makes you want to puke in the sink
5606These dudes will never dance - yeah, that's what you think
5607I stride in the room all young and hip
5608Hold up my boombox and say listen to this
5609Then everyone started to move
5610People rejoiced instead of financing
5611Your preconceived notions were shattered
5612By the super old white people dancing
5613The big apple, where people never dance
5614Spirits go down while profits expand
5615The cops or the dealers, who's got the juice?
5616The street vendors peddling their boiled goose
5617So many types of people will never get along
5618Till I bust out my boombox and play this song
5619The music washed away all the hate
5620And society started advancing
5621Every demographic was represented
5622It was a rainbow coalition of dancing
5623Whoa!
5624Everyone was wearing fingerless gloves
5625Whoaaaaaoaaaaaoh!
5626I saw a Spanish guy doing the Bartman
5627Transport now to an old folks home
5628Where the elderly are tossed on their brittle bones
5629The orderlies are stealing; there's no excuse!
5630Everyday for lunch they eat boiled goose
5631So I grabbed my boombox and hit the turbo bass
5632And what happened next was a total disgrace
5633Everybody started having sex
5634The music was way too powerful
5635A bunch of old people fucking like rabbits
5636It was disgusting to say the least
5637Oh!
5638A boombox can change the world
5639You gotta know your limits with a boombox
5640This was a cautionary tale
5641A boombox is not a toy
5642Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review.
5643No problem.
5644So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?
5645Absolutely, I'm the boss.
5646OK, so take us through a day in the life of "The Boss".
5647Well the first thing I do is
5648Talk to corporate like a boss
5649Approve memos like a boss
5650Lead a workshop like a boss
5651Remember birthdays like a boss
5652Direct work-flow like a boss
5653My own bathroom like a boss
5654Micro-manage like a boss
5655Promote synergy like a boss
5656Hit on Deborah like a boss
5657Get rejected like a boss
5658Swallow sadness like a boss
5659Send some faxes like a boss
5660Call a sex line like a boss
5661Cry deeply like a boss
5662Demand a refund like a boss
5663Eat a bagel like a boss
5664Harassment lawsuit like a boss
5665No promotion like a boss
56665th of vodka like a boss
5667Shit on Deborah's desk like a boss
5668Buy a gun like a boss
5669In my mouth like a boss
5670Oh fuck me, I can't fucking do it, shit!
5671Pussy out like a boss
5672Puke on Deborah's desk like a boss
5673Jump out the window like a boss
5674Suck a dude's dick like a boss
5675Score some coke like a boss
5676Crash my car like a boss
5677Suck my own dick like a boss
5678Eat some chicken strips like a boss
5679Chop my balls off like a boss
5680Black out in the sewer like a boss
5681Meet a giant fish like a boss
5682Fuck its brains out like a boss
5683Turn into a jet like a boss
5684Bomb the Russians like a boss
5685Crash into the sun like a boss
5686Now I'm dead like a boss
5687Uh huh. So that's an average day for you then.
5688No doubt.
5689You chop your balls off and die.
5690Hell yeah.
5691And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick?
5692Nope.
5693Actually, I'm pretty sure you did.
5694Nah, that ain't me.
5695OK, well this has been eye-opening for me.
5696I'm the boss.
5697Ya, I know, I got that. You said it about 400 times.
5698I'm the boss.
5699Ya, ya, I got it.
5700I'm the boss.
5701No, I heard you, see you later!
5702like a boss
5703 Hi, do you want to go to a party with me?
5704 No. The game's on.
5705 Oh, I almost forgot. I'll be right there.
5706We like sportz and we don't care who knows
5707From shooting hoops, to the Super Bowl
5708We like sportz and we don't care who knows
5709Football Football Football. Tennis. Hockey. Golf.
5710The game is starting everyone is here,
5711I got my snacks, my friends, and a beer
5712Just two normal guyz hanging out having fun
5713Kiv: Right guy number 2?
5714Jorma: Yeah guy number 1.
5715E to the S to the P to the N
5716Is all I watch cause I'm the man
5717If my team loses I'll be mean all night
5718If you tell me to relax we'll get in a fight
5719Watching sportz with girls is a pain
5720They don't know the rules; there's no time to explain
5721Single, double, triple, home-run
5722For the celebration I'll shoot my gun
5723I like my friend, he's a real guys guy
5724He's not a loud-mouth like that cunt-hole Steve
5725We like sportz and we don't care who knows
5726From Wimbledon to the Astrodome
5727We like sportz and we don't care who knows
5728Football Football Football. Tennis. Hockey. Golf.
5729Now when I say "sportz", you say "nutz"
5730"Sportz!"
5731"Nutz!"
5732"Sportz!"
5733"Nutz!"
5734When I say "cheating", you say "sux"
5735"Cheating!"
5736"Sux!"
5737"Cheating!"
5738"Sux!"
5739I drink whiskey cause I like the taste
5740You think its bitter but I think its great
5741I also drink whiskey and we smoke cigars
5742Don't believe me? Smell our cars
5743We're real men, and we like sportz
5744If you say we're not then we'll see you in court
5745Jorma: I'm team captain and I choose you
5746Kiv: I'm the other team captain and I choose you too
5747We steal the ball and we're off to the races
5748Then scare the other team with our mad dog faces like,
5749What what what what what what.
5750What what what what what what.
5751We like sportz and we don't care who knows
5752From the pregame jokes to the wrap-up show
5753We like sportz and we don't care who knows
5754Football Football Football. Tennis. Hockey. Golf.
5755Jah! Rastafarianism 
5756Yes I, Ras Trent 
5757Ba-da ding-ding-ding-ding whooaaaaa! 
5758Who dem? 
5759You no want test me champion sound 
5760Oh fire pon Babylon 
5761and fire pon a batty boy 
5762Rude boy living in the shanty dorms 
5763My roommate Nick is an ignorant ballhead! 
5764Now chant down Babylon 
5765midterm essays 
5766Then puff from de chalice 
5767I fi make from a Sprite can 
5768Last week I read a book 
5769about Selassie I 
5770Then told my bomboclat parents 
5771I was switching religions 
5772Excuse I! 
5773Oh hot stepper, you do so many dutty crimes 
5774Nyabinghi! 
5775And plus you're fully skylarking all the time 
5776Unnu look ya now! 
5777Have you ever noticed 
5778how ball-heads suck? 
5779Ba-da-da ding-ding-ding-ding 
5780dong-dang ding-dong duck! 
5781Excuse I for my skanking 
5782give thanks and praise 
5783Me toil part-time 
5784at jah Cold Stone Creamery 
5785In a dub style! 
5786Roller skates...a DVD of Cool Runnings...Murder, She Wrote 
5787Yagga-yagga-yagga yowwww! 
5788Are you there Jah? It's me, Ras Trent 
5789Are you there Jah? It's me, Ras Trent 
5790Are you there Jah? It's me, Ras Trent 
5791Please guide me mumbles pon your bike path of righteousness 
5792Oh stannaho, stannaho, stannaho, stannahoy Jaaaah! 
5793Fussing and fighting and Zion and Roots 
5794Red Stripe, Shabba, Ragamuffin and culture 
5795Me night nurse never want to plant de corn 
5796Skiddily-whoa 
5797Diddily, skiddily diddily diddily...fades out
5798Hey girl I got somethin' real important to give you 
5799So just sit down and listen 
5800Girl you know we've been together such a long long time such a long time 
5801And now I'm ready to lay it on the line 
5802Wooow You know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide 
5803Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind 
5804A gift real special, so take off the top 
5805Take a look inside -- it's my dick in a box 
5806Not gonna get you a diamond ring 
5807That sort of gift don't mean anything 
5808Not gonna get you a fancy car 
5809Girl ya gotta know you're my shining star 
5810Not gonna get you a house in the hills 
5811A girl like you needs somethin' real 
5812Wanna get you somethin' from the heart 
5813Somethin' special girl 
5814It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box babe 
5815It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl 
5816See I'm wise enough to know when a gift needs givin' yeah 
5817And I got just the one, somethin' to show ya that you are second to none 
5818To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress 
5819It's easy to do just follow these steps 
58201: Cut a hole in a box 
58212: Put your junk in that box 
58223: Make her open the box 
5823And that's the way you do it 
5824It's my dick in a box... my dick in a box babe 
5825It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl 
5826Christmas; dick in a box 
5827Hanukkah; dick in a box 
5828Kwanzaa; a dick in a box 
5829Every single holiday a dick in a box 
5830Over at your parent's house a dick in a box 
5831Mid day at the grocery store a dick in a box 
5832Backstage at the CMA's a dick in a box yeah-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow 
5833a dick in a box...
5834Yo I'm being serious
5835Yo, it's the wild wild west
5836You came to the right place my man
5837Get ready, here we go
5838New Shit! 
5839Welcome my friends to the old saloon
5840Everyone in town is hangin out
5841If you got a drink, well you drink it down
5842Then we'll all go have sex with the whoever! 
5843Brand new! 
5844Buffalo Bill, I just rode into town
5845On my horse, you betcha on a horse
5846That's the thing in the old west times, 
5847Everyone enjoys a good horse ride
5848If you cheat at cards ya get thrown out! 
5849Right out the saloon doors on your butt
5850Go back in and buy a round of whiskey
5851Guess what? All is forgiven! 
5852DJ LARRY! 
5853Well look who's here, it's Calamity Jane
5854And you're another guy who's probly an injun! 
5855This whiskey's warm and it tastes like piss! 
5856DJ LARRY! 
5857Oh no! My stash smells like piss! 
5858So that's your story, stickin to it
5859The old wild west is no place for a lady
5860I'm the bartender, but I'm also the mayor
5861So just put that in your pipe and smoke it
5862DJ waaahaa! 
5863Tiny Tim and it's almost Christmas, 
5864Sure is dusty here.
5865These days, a lot a cats is outta line 
5866Seems to me, like they need to get punched 
5867Yeah, but where you gonna punch em? 
5868Yo, the choice is obvious 
5869I'll punch you in the jeans 
5870I'll punch you in the jeans 
5871This is not a case of man vs machine 
5872You think that you're safe, thought you got away clean? 
5873I'll roll up on you smooth and punch you in the jeans 
5874I got my fists clenched, gonna throw a haymaka 
5875Rockin your slacks from here to jaimaica 
5876Shake in your boots, cuz I'm the earthquaka 
5877Bringin those jeans round here was a mistaka 
5878I gotta vendetta, it's against your jeans yeah 
5879Gonna put my knuckles up against the seams 
5880They can be on your legs or on the clothesline 
5881But when I see the zipper and cloth, it's go time! 
5882And I'm zeroed in, I got the tunnel vision 
5883Gonna cover you in shit like a ton of pigeons 
5884Man I hate your jeans, I'm gonna bruise that denim 
5885It really doesn't matter as long as you're in em' 
5886Yo we'll punch your jeans, we've said it before 
5887Best believe this is not a metaphor 
5888Better watch your back, cuz we're on the creep 
5889And we won't stop till your jeans are six feet deep! 
5890Man I'll murder your jeans, I'll feed em to the fishes 
5891Heres what I'd do, if I had three wishes 
5892Punch your jeans, on all three counts 
5893It would bring me satisfaction in large amounts 
5894If I had three wishes I would do the same 
5895We see eye to eye in this jean punch game 
5896I'd lay em in a field, where there's chemical sprayin 
5897But I'd punch em first, yo that goes without sayin yeah 
5898Acid wash pleats or a nifty cuff 
5899It's just another jean for my fist to stuff 
5900Throwin fistacuffs, eat pants like bag lunches 
5901Jeans pronounced dead 
5902Cause of death? 
5903Hecka punches! 
5904Yo we'll punch your jeans, we've said it before 
5905Best believe this is not a metaphor 
5906You got somethin to say, we got the proper retorts 
5907Beat your jeans so bad that they'll wish they were shorts 
5908Gonna revise your Levi's with physical harm 
5909Put divets in the rivets with my physical arm 
5910Gonna beat those jeans, gonna dip em in slime 
5911Turn your 501s into 499s 
5912When I punch a jean I like to imagine a face 
5913The fly is the nose and the balls are the base of the face 
5914You got taste and it shows my man 
5915God damn your jean brand got me throwin my hands 
5916Gonna go back in time, find the man who made jeans 
5917And choke him to death, if you know what I mean 
5918Yo I know what you mean, so keep your jeans on a hush 
5919Breakout, before you get bumrushed 
5920Yo we'll punch your jeans, we've said it before 
5921Best believe this is not a metaphor 
5922So take off your jeans, and reverse the curse 
5923Cuz we the best jean punchers in the universe 
5924It really doesn't matter as long as you're in em' x2
5925Play "Punch You In The Je…"
5926on Amazon Music
5927Writers: SAMBERG ANDREW D, SCHAFFER AKIVA, TACCONE JORMA, DEWESE MOHANDAS, POTSIC MARK ALI 
5928AZLyrics L The Lonely Island Lyrics
5929album: "Incredibad" 2009
5930Who Said We're Wack
5931Santana DVX
5932Jizz In My Pants
5933I'm On A Boat
5934Sax Man
5935Lazy Sunday
5936Normal Guy Interlude
5937Boombox
5938Shrooms Interlude
5939Like A Boss
5940We Like Sportz
5941Dreamgirl
5942Ras Trent
5943Dick In A Box
5944The Old Saloon Interlude
5945Punch You In The Jeans
5946Space Olympics
5947Natalie's Rap
5948Incredibad
5949Bing Bong Brothers
5950Reach for the stars! 
5951You stand on a distant planet 
5952Skyline of red plateaus 
5953Strange air and vegetation 
5954You're a winner! 
5955Welcome to the Space Olympics 
5956The year Thirty Twenty Two 
5957Take part in a grand tradition 
5958Your name echoes in the holes of the universe! 
5959Believe in yourself! 
5960Take your game into outer space! 
5961Every single galactic athlete 
5962Needs a coded ID badge 
5963Drug tests are mandatory 
5964You're a winner! 
5965The Athlete's Village is on Zargon 
5966You all get a junior suite 
5967We don't cover incidentals 
5968So keep your ass off the minibar! 
5969You're the best in the world! 
5970Brace yourself 'cause there's no gravity! 
5971You're in the motherfuckin' Space Olympics! 
5972Let it be known by every nation 
5973You'll only get one meal a day 
5974There was a bit of a budget SNAFU 
5975And food funding is insufficient 
5976We can't really enforce a curfew 
5977As there is no light or sound 
5978Just one of the many problems 
5979With hosting a sporting event in space. 
5980Attention all athletes. There are minor scheduling adjustments. 
5981Space Disc! Is totally cancelled. 
5982Space Swords! Is totally cancelled. 
5983Space Luge! Is also cancelled. 
5984And all other events are pending! 
5985Welcome to your Space Olympics 
5986All the oxygen has run out 
5987And someone who will not be named 
5988Accidentally hit self-destruct 
5989As you file to your escape pods 
5990I'll distract the alien hordes 
5991And as I stare death in the face I know my sins will take me to hell. 
5992You do it for the love 
5993My love 
5994And there ain't no woman that could take your spot my love
5995I don't sleep, motherfucker, off that 'gnac and the bourbon
5996Doing 120 getting head while I'm swerving
5997Damn, Natalie, you a crazy chick
5998Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick
5999I bust in dudes' mouths like gushers motherfucker
6000Pull up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker
6001What you want Natalie? To drink and fight!
6002What you need Natalie? To fuck all night!
6003Don't test me when I'm crazy off that airplane glue
6004Put my foot down your throat 'til your shit's in my shoe
6005Leave you screaming, pay for my dry-cleaning
6006Fuck your man it's my name that he's screaming!
6007All the kids looking up to me can suck my dick
6008It's Portman motherfucker, drink 'til I'm sick
6009Slit your throat and pour nitrous down the hole
6010Watch you laugh and cry; while I laugh, you die
6011And all the dudes, you know I'm talking to you
6012We love you Natalie! I wanna fuck you too!
6013P! It's for Portman! P! It's for pussy!
6014I'll kill your fucking dog for fun, so don't push me
6015When I was in Harvard I smoked weed everyday
6016I cheated every test and snorted all the yay
6017I got a def posse, you got a bunch of dudes
6018I sit right down on your face and take a shit
6019Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch hell yeah!
6020And I always pay for your dry-cleaning
6021When my shit gets in your shoe What!
6022And as for the drug use
6023Well, I can't vouch for that,
6024My dick is scared of you ooh
6025Nowwwwwww let's take a trip down memory lane
6026Back to junior high school where it all begain
6027Three bad little kids raisin hell at school
6028We were just 13, straight actin the fool
6029Every day after class Kiva's house was the spot
6030Makin crazy prank calls hopin not to get caught
6031Best friends, blood brothers, yo we one and the same
6032'Til one fateful afternoon when everything changed
6033One day playin Punch Out up and came doom
6034The house started shakin and we heard a kaboom
6035Looked out the back window saw billowin smoke
6036Yo your backyard is smashed - man this isn't a joke!
6037Yo let's go check this out man Aight bet, let's go
6038All the smoke and debris led straight to the basement
6039Yo what the hell is that? Man it looks like a spaceship
6040We all ran for cover, as the hatch opened wide
6041And a little green dude stepped out from inside; he said
6042Little Green Dude
6043I'm from Mars, and I come in peace
6044I have something to ask, and it's not discrete
6045There's a mutated strain in our DNA helix
6046And you three kids are the ones who can heal it
6047But we're just 13 man, what can we do?
6048Umm how should I put this? I think we should screw
6049What?! On my home planet we can no longer breed
6050I've been sent as a receptacle to store your seed
6051Storin our seed? - Yo I think he means sex
6052Man I'm a virgin - we all are - BET!
6053I'm just gonna lie here and close my eyes
6054Aww what should we do? Now he's spreading his thighs!
6055You'll be heroes on our planet But why us 3?
6056You're the chosen ones, you'll just have to trust me
6057Okay, we're in cool who should go first?
6058I have three depositories to capture your burst
6059Wait, so at the same time? Yeah that's what I was thinking
6060Here's some wine coolers, let's get you boys drinking
6061We pounded the drinks and, started gettin tipsy
6062Then took our positions, and started gettin frisky
6063One in the front, and two in the back
6064Had it locked up like a Chinese finger trap
6065Keep pumping away, my wife and family thank you
6066I'm about to explode - yo son, me too
6067THREE-WAY CLIMAX, best friends forever
6068What a blessing to have lost our virginity together
6069Yeah!
6070Andy, Jorma, Kiv', you've saved my race
6071Your reward is one wish then I'll go back to space
6072We looked at each other, didn't have to talk
6073Knew exactly what we wanted, before he took off
6074Mr. Alien Sir, for what it's worth
6075WE WANT TO BE THE GREATEST FAKE MC'S ON EARTH
6076Your wish is granted and thanks again
6077I may have saved my planet but I'm losing three friends
6078What happened today was both incredible and bad
6079Therefore your name is Incredibad!
6080This one goes out 
6081From the bottom of our hearts
6082To the most important lady in our lives
6083It's time to pay some respect
6084I hope you proud of us
6085'Cause we're proud of you
6086Mama!
6087You raised me right
6088Mama!
6089Showed me the light
6090Mama!
6091Through pain and strife
6092Mama! 
6093You gave us life
6094When I fell down you were there to pick me up
6095When I felt bad you were there to build me up
6096Gave everything you had in the world to me
6097And you made me the man I'm supposed to be
6098Jane, even though I don't say it often enough
6099I appreciate everything you did for us
6100Never take you for granted 'cause it ain't hard to see
6101The best parts of you are now a part of me
6102Ah Mama
6103And when it was cold outside you kept us warm and held us down...
6104Mom Hi boys, who wants a snack?
6105Andy MOM, GET OUT WE'RE IN THE STUDIO!
6106Jorma OH MY GOD!
6107Mom Just checking on my guys!
6108Jorma GET OUT OF HERE!
6109Andy WE'RE MAKING A TRACK YOU IDIOT!
6110Mom Oooohhh!
6111Andy JUST LEAVE!
6112Mom Okie doke
6113Jorma GO! GO!
6114Andy YOU SUCK, MOM!
6115Yeah my one true love, my heart, my ma
6116Show her respect in the form of this song
6117So when life gets hard and it makes you cry
6118I'll always be there to wipe a tear from your eye
6119My mom's my number one fan, my best friend
6120And I'll never disrespect...
6121Door opens
6122Jorma MOM!
6123Mom I know you said you weren't hungry, but I made ants on a log
6124Andy GET THE FUCK OUT
6125Jorma LEAVE! LEAVE ME! GO!
6126Mom So how's your little club going?
6127Andy IT'S NOT A CLUB!
6128Jorma IT'S A RAP GROUP!
6129Mom Well I'll leave these here and eat them if you...
6130Jorma FINE!
6131Andy GO TO HELL, MOM!
6132She's an angel on earth with invisible wings
6133I put no one above in summer, winter or spring, or fall...
6134Door opens
6135Mom Have you guys seen the remote?
6136Andy OH MY GOD!
6137Jorma LEAVE US ALONE! 
6138Andy FUCK YOU MOM!
6139Jorma LEAVE US ALONE!
6140window smashes
6141Mom Watch it
6142Andy I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE!
6143Jump in front of a bullet if it could save my mom
6144You got a ? bullet 'cause she will never see harm...
6145Door opens
6146Mom Nevermind, I found it
6147They all scream/shout/glass smashes
6148'Dale' Laura, everything ok?
6149Andy SHUT THE FUCK UP DALE!
6150Jorma SHUT UP!
6151Mom Hey! Be nice to Dale
6152Andy FUCK DALE!
6153Jorma FUCK DALE!
6154Andy I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE SEX WITH THAT GUY!
6155This goes out to all the mamas 
6156Trying to protect their kids from drama
6157Love was your goal to bring?
6158No matter what they say, you're beautifull
6159So push them lighters in the sky
6160Wave 'em back from side to side
6161And if you feel lost and alone
6162Let our voices guide you home
6163Mom Is something burning down there?
6164Andy GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!
6165Sometimes Oooooh
6166Something beautiful happens
6167In this world Akon
6168You don't know how to
6169Express yourself so and Lonely Island
6170You just gotta sing
6171I just had sex
6172And it felt so good Felt so good
6173A woman let me put
6174My penis inside of her
6175I just had sex
6176And I'll never go back Never go back
6177To the not-having-sex
6178Ways of the past
6179Have you ever had sex?
6180I have it felt great
6181It felt so good
6182When I did it with my penis
6183A girl let me do it
6184It literally just happened
6185Having sex can make a nice
6186Man out of the meanest
6187Never guess where I just came from
6188I had sex
6189If I had to describe the feeling
6190It was the best
6191When I had the sex
6192Man my penis felt great
6193And I called my parents
6194Right after I was done
6195Oh hey, didn't see you there
6196Guess what I just did?
6197Had sex, undressed
6198Saw her boobies and the rest
6199Was sure nice of her to let you
6200Do that thing
6201Nice of any girl ever
6202Now sing
6203I just had sex
6204And it felt so good Felt so good
6205A woman let me put
6206My penis inside of her
6207I wanna tell the world
6208To be honest I'm surprised
6209She even wanted me to do it
6210Doesn't really make sense
6211But man, screw it
6212I ain't one to argue
6213With a good thing
6214She could be my wife
6215That good?
6216The best 30 seconds of my life My life
6217I'm so humbled by a girls ability
6218To let me do her
6219Cuz honestly I'd have sex
6220With a pile of manure
6221With that in mind
6222The soft, nice smelling girls better
6223Cuz she let me wear
6224My chain and turtle neck sweater
6225So this one's dedicated to them girls
6226That let us flop around on top of them
6227If you're near or far
6228Whether short or tall
6229We wanna thank you all
6230For letting us fuck you
6231She kept looking at her watch
6232Doesn't matter, had sex
6233But I cried the whole time
6234Doesn't matter, had sex
6235I think she might've been a racist
6236Doesn't matter, had sex
6237She put a bag on my head
6238Still counts
6239I just had sex Sex
6240And all my dreams came true Dreams came true
6241So if you had sex in the last
624230 minutes then you're qualified
6243To sing with me
6244I just had sex Everybody sing
6245And it felt so good We all had sex
6246A woman let me put
6247My penis inside of her I wanna tell the world
6248I just had sex
6249And I'll never go back No no no
6250To the not-having-sex
6251Ways of the past
6252Here's a little story that I think you'll like
6253It's not about Shaq or Iron Mike
6254So buckle your seatbelts, it's gonna get choppy
6255And listen to the tale of the time I fought Rocky
6256One day me and all my friends were hangin'
6257Talkin' 'bout which of the girls was most bangin'
6258Then one friend says, "You know who's really tough?
6259"Rocky," hit me home "the boxer." Man,
6260I said, "Yeah I know him. What about him?" He said, 
6261"He's really tough." "No way, man. I'm calling your bluff
6262"I think that I can take him and, to prove my point,
6263"I'll challenge him in public." Yeah, that's the joint!
6264So the very next day, stayed true to my word
6265And I snuck on T.V. so I could be heard
6266I said, 'Rocky, if you're out there, I think you're a nerd.
6267"And I'll lick you and bury you like a dog turd!"
6268I got kicked out, but the candle was lit
6269'Cause the people had to know if my claim was legit
6270It made the headlines and I got the call
6271It was Rocky "Hey" and he wanted to brawl
6272We negotiated terms and set the date
6273Then I went into training to add some muscle weight
6274While I punched on meat in a rickety shack
6275He was sippin' on wine, having models rub his back
6276At the weigh-in, boy the tension was high
6277Me and Rock, toe-to-toe and eye-to-eye
6278I talked some trash, we got pulled apart
6279I shot him one last look to strike fear in his heart
6280Skip ahead, the big night was finally here
6281My body was ripped and my mind was clear
6282We entered the arena to the roar of the crowd
6283People chantin' my name - I never felt so proud
6284Faced off once more in the center of the ring
6285Touched gloves, said a prayer and the bell went *ding*
6286He hit me with a left and shattered my face
6287And a right sent my teeth all over the place
6288Then another great punch caved-in my eye socket
6289He broke my jaw and my trainer yelled, "Stop it!"
6290But nobody heard him and he crushed my ribs
6291Blood sprayed off my face and onto some kids
6292They yelled out, "More!" and Rocky obliged
6293I had to think of some way to turn the tides
6294So I leaned back to hit him with all of my might
6295Took a swing, but he caught me with a sucker punch right
6296Then a sucker punch left and a sucker punch right
6297Then twenty-two consecutive sucker punch rights
6298He tore off my arms and beat me with 'em
6299Then threw acid in my face which obscured my vision
6300He kicked me in the leg and fractured my shin
6301The bone splinters shot right out of my skin
6302People barfed in the crowd; they were going insane
6303And Rocky punched my nose-bone into my brain
6304I was quivering and twitching when I soiled my shorts
6305Then Rocky pissed on me customary in sports
6306The doctor came out and pronounced me dead
6307And that was the night I fought Rocky
6308My turtleneck fat and my chain so thin,
6309N' I'm sippin' light beer, n my crew right here
6310Chain razor thin like beer in my cup,
6311And my sweater on turtle with the neck on puff
6312Huge turtle neck and my chain so skinny
6313Beer light all night, stand up get dizzy
6314Light cup, beer drink, thin so chain, neck turtle fat, man I won't say it again
6315Turtle neck check with another on deck
6316Incase I spill something on it like some light beer? Yes.
6317We be braggin' bout whose chain is the thinnest
6318Turtle neck thicker than Delta Burke swimmin' in a Guinness now bear witness
6319But they can't see my chain,
6320Metal so thin it dissolve when it rain
6321Got more chains than the snow patrol
6322Everyone razor thin like an insect stripper pole
6323Chain so light when a breeze roll by, man it float man it float 
6324And my beer so light you could see right through it, like a ghost
6325And I also wear turtle necks
6326Sweaters swallowing my chain like it's stuck in the couch
6327Looking like cookie monster flossin' his mouth
6328Find me coolin' on the corner sippn' light beer foam
6329You can tell by my turtle neck and chain that I bone
6330Turtleneck, light beer, n' a thin ass chain, n' that's it
6331The rabbit kicked the bucket, dog said fuck it,
6332Get my 2 step on, with my turtle neck on
6333Thin ass chain, like beer in my glass
6334Mackin at the bitches, the ones with the ass
6335Girl you know it's true, tell me what it do
6336Oh you like my style, say you like my crew
6337Say you wanna' be under my chest, this turtle neck is like one of my best x2
6338So I guess your dress, no stress, stayin' fresh as my bandana
6339Ima crook, so my look, Ima game go getta
6340The fatter the puppy, get the fluffy, get the bigger the turtleneck,
6341The more gangster it is
6342 Oh dang.
6343 What is it dawg?
6344 I forgot it's Mother's Day.
6345 Didn't get a gift for her.
6346 Other plans got in the way. She'll be so disappointed.
6347 Damn I forgot it too.
6348 This could have been avoided.
6349 What the hell are we gonna do?
6350 My mom's been so alone ever since my daddy left.
6351 Cold.
6352 No one to hold her tight. Life has put her to the test.
6353 I know just what you mean, my mom's been so sad and gray.
6354 Word
6355 My dad can't satisfy her in the bedroom ever since he passed away.
6356 Hold up!
6357 You thinking what I'm thinking?
6358 I'm thinking I'm thinking too.
6359 Slow up!
6360 What time is it dawg?
6361 It's time for a switcharoo
6362 We both love our moms, women with grown-women needs
6363I say we break 'em off
6364Show 'em how much they really mean,
6365'Cause...
6366I'm a Mother Lover
6367You're a Mother Lover
6368We should fuck each other's mothers
6369 Fuck each other's moms
6370I'll push in that lady where you came out as a baby
6371Ain't no doubt this shit is crazy
6372 Fuckin' each other's moms
6373'Cause every Mother's Day needs a Mother's Night
6374If doing it is wrong, I don't wanna be right
6375I'm callin' on you 'cause I can't do it myself
6376To me you're like a brother, so be my mother lover
6377 I'm laying in the cut waitin' for your mom clutchin' on this lube and roses
6378 I got my digital camera, I'm gonna make your momma do a million poses
6379 They will be so surprised
6380 We are so cool and thoughtful
6381 Can't wait to pork your mom
6382 I'mma be the syrup, she can be my waffle
6383 Show love!
6384 My mama loves bubble bath with chamomile
6385 Straight up!
6386 Give it to my mom d-d-d-d-d-d-doggy-style
6387 This the perfect plan
6388 For a perfect Mother's Day
6389 They'll have to rename this one
6390 All up under the covers day
6391Cause I'm a Mother Lover
6392You're a Mother Lover
6393We should fuck each other's mothers
6394 Fuck each other's moms
6395I'll push in that lady
6396Where you came out as a baby
6397Ain't no doubt this shit is crazy
6398 Fuckin' each other's moms
6399 Break it down
6400 It would be my honor to be your new step-father
6401 It would be my honor to be your new step-father
6402 While you're in my mother make me another brother.
6403And while I'm in your mother I'll never use a rubber
6404 OH!
6405'Cause every Mother's Day needs a Mother's Night
6406If doing it is wrong, I don't wanna be right
6407I'm calling on you cause I can't do it myself
6408To me you're like a brother, so be my mother lover
6409They blessed us both with the gift of life
6410She brought you in this world so I'mma sex her right
6411This is the second best idea that we've ever had
6412The choice can be no other
6413Be my mother lover
6414 Happy Mother's Day.
6415Hi, I'm John Waters, and this is...
6416The Creep.
6417When you're out in the club and you see a fly girl
6418Do the Creep hah
6419Do the Creep hah
6420And if you wanna make friends at the ATM
6421Do the Creep hoo
6422Do the Creep hah
6423Well, we got a new dance so get up on your feet
6424It's real easy to do, and it's called 'The Creep'
6425Let your hands flap around like a Marionette
6426Pop your knees up and down, sh-sh-shaking your neck
6427Now pull your waistband up like you expectin' a flood
6428And slick your hair down flat like it was covered in mud
6429Trim up your pencil mustache and pop them peepers
6430Put this in your speakers; you a certified creeper.
6431When you see a country peach, laying out at the beach
6432Do the Creep hah
6433Do the Creep hah
6434And when a fine PYT walks in front of your tree
6435Do the Creep hoo
6436Do the Creep hah
6437I was six years old when I started creepin'
6438My parents took it to their room and I started peepin'
6439You can't imagine their surprise when they lifted their heads
6440And saw my little ass creepin' at the foot of the bed
6441Yeah they knew I was a creep, since the day I was born
6442Poppin' out my momma like some kettle corn
6443Yeah the doctor caught my head and he started freakin'
6444'Cause I came out clean - and I came out creepin'!
6445Nicki,
6446Nicki,
6447Nicki, Nicki, Nicki
6448Nicki!
6449When I was a girl, I creeped in the boys' locker room
6450Hide deep inside - it was my little creep stalker room
6451As they disrobed, I was oogling and oggling
6452Little did they know, that for me, they were modeling
6453And I would laugh, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha.
6454And they would dance, la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la.
6455So pop-pop-pop your peepers,
6456and tweak out your sneakers
6457Don't sleep, come on get your Creep on with me!
6458Go on, get to sweatin' off a bride at her wedding
6459Do the Creep hah
6460And do the Creep hah
6461And when you sneak into a wake, and you see a beefcake
6462Do the Creep hoo
6463And do the Creep hah
6464And when the judge is a hottie and you can't control your body
6465Do the Creep hah
6466Do the Creep hah
6467So, get your knees flexin', and your arms T-rexin',
6468And Creep hoo
6469Do the Creep! hah