1rwX3ai8

1The way of the pilgrim & The pilgrim continues his way
2
3
4By the grace of God I am a Christian man, by my actions a great sinner, and by
5calling a homeless wanderer of the humblest birth who roams from place to place. My
6worldly goods are a knapsack with some dried bread in it on my back, and in my
7breast pocket a Bible. And that is all.
8
9On the twenty-fourth Sunday after Pentecost I went to church to say my prayers there
10during the liturgy. The first Epistle of St. Paul to the Thessalonians was being read,
11and among other words I heard these—"Pray without ceasing." It was this text, more
12than any other, which forced itself upon my mind, and I began to think how it was
13possible to pray without ceasing, since a man has to concern himself with other
14things also in order to make a living. I looked at my Bible and with my own eyes read
15the words which I had heard, that is, that we ought always, at all times and in all
16places, to pray with uplifted hands. I thought and thought, but knew not what to make
17of it. "What ought I to do?" I thought. "Where shall I find someone to explain it to me?
18I will go to the churches where famous preachers are to be heard; perhaps there I
19shall hear something that will throw light on it for me." I did so. I heard a number of
20very fine sermons on prayer—what prayer is, how much we need it, and what its
21fruits are—but no one said how one could succeed in prayer. I heard a sermon on
22spiritual prayer, and unceasing prayer, but how it was to be done was not pointed
23out.
24
25Thus listening to sermons failed to give me what I wanted, and having had my fill of
26them without gaining understanding, I gave up going to hear public sermons. I settled
27on another plan—by God's help to look for some experienced and skilled person who
28would give me in conversation that teaching about unceasing prayer which drew me
29so urgently. For a long time I wandered through many places. I read my Bible always,
30and everywhere I asked whether there was not in the neighborhood a spiritual
31teacher, a devout and experienced guide, to be found. One day I was told that in a
32certain village a gentleman had long been living and seeking the salvation of his soul.
33He had a chapel in his house. He never left his estate, and he spent his time in
34prayer and reading devotional books. Hearing this, I ran rather than walked to the
35village named. I got there and found him.
36
373
38
39"What do you want of me?" he asked.
40
41"I have heard that you are a devout and clever person," said I. "In God's name
42please explain to me the meaning of the Apostle's words, 'Pray without ceasing.' How
43is it possible to pray without ceasing? I want to know so much, but I cannot
44understand it at all."
45
46He was silent for a while and looked at me closely. Then he said, "Ceaseless
47interior prayer is a continual yearning of the human spirit toward God. To succeed in
48this consoling exercise we must pray more often to God to teach us to pray without
49ceasing. Pray more, and pray more fervently. It is prayer itself which will reveal to you
50how it can be achieved unceasingly; but it will take some time."
51
52So saying, he had food brought to me, gave me money for my journey, and let me
53go. He did not explain the matter.
54
55Again I set off. I thought and thought, I read and read, I dwelt over and over again
56upon what this man had said to me, but I could not get to the bottom of it. Yet so
57greatly did I wish to understand that I could not sleep at night. I walked at least 125
58miles, and then I came to a large town, a provincial capital, where I saw a monastery.
59At the inn where I stopped I heard it said that the abbot was a man of great kindness,
60devout and hospitable. I went to see him. He met me in a very friendly manner, asked
61me to sit down, and offered me refreshment.
62
63"I do not need refreshment, holy Father," I said, "but I beg you to give me some
64spiritual teaching. How can I save my soul?"
65
66"What? Save your soul? Well, live according to the commandments; say your
67prayers and you will be saved."
68
69"But I hear it said that we should pray without ceasing, and I don't know how to
70pray without ceasing. I cannot even understand what unceasing prayer means. I beg
71you, Father, explain this to me."
72
73"I don't know how to explain further, dear brother. But, stop a moment, I have a
74little book, and it is explained there." And he handed me St. Dmitri's book, on The
75Spiritual Education of the Inner Man, saying, "Look, read this page."
76
77I began to read as follows: "The words of the Apostle, 'Pray without ceasing,'
78should be understood as referring to the creative prayer of the understanding. The
79
804:
81
82understanding can always be reaching out toward God and praying to Him
83unceasingly."
84
85"But," I asked, "What is the method by which the understanding can always be
86turned toward God, never be disturbed, and pray without ceasing?"
87
88"It is very difficult, even for one to whom God Himself gives such a gift," replied
89the abbot. He did not give me the explanation. I spent the night at his house, and in
90the morning, thanking him for his kindly hospitality, I went on my way—where to, I did
91not know myself. My failure to understand made me sad, and by way of comforting
92myself I read my Bible. In this way I followed the main road for five days.
93
94At last toward evening I was overtaken by an old man who looked like a cleric of
95some sort. In answer to my question he told me that he was a monk belonging to a
96monastery some six miles off the main road. He asked me to go there with him. "We
97take in pilgrims," said he, "and give them rest and food with devout persons in the
98guesthouse." I did not feel like going. So in reply I said that my peace of mind in no
99way depended upon my finding a resting place, but upon finding spiritual teaching.
100Neither was I running after food, for I had plenty of dried bread in my knapsack.
101"What sort of spiritual teaching are you wanting to get?" he asked me. "What is it
102puzzling you? Come now! Do come to our house, dear brother. We have startsi1 of
103ripe experience well able to give guidance to your soul and to set it upon the true
104path, in the light of the Word of God and the writings of the holy Fathers." "Well, it's
105like this, Father," said I. "About a year ago, while I was at the liturgy, I heard a
106passage from the Epistles which bade men to pray without ceasing. Failing to
107understand, I began to read my Bible, and there also in many places I found the
108divine command that we ought to pray at all times, in all places; not only while about
109our business, not only while awake, but even during sleep—'1 sleep, but my heart
110waketh.' This surprised me very much and I was at a loss to understand how it could
111be carried out and in what way it was to be done.
112
113A burning desire and thirst for knowledge awoke in me. Day and night the matter was
114never out of my mind. So I began to go to churches and to listen to sermons. But
115
1165:
117
118however many I heard, from not one of them did I get any teaching about how to pray
119without ceasing. They always talked about getting ready for prayer, or about its fruits
120and the like, without teaching one how to pray without ceasing, or what such prayer
121means. 1 have often read the Bible and there made sure of what 1 have heard. But
122meanwhile I have not reached the understanding that I long for, and so to this hour I
123am still uneasy and in doubt."
124
125Then the old man crossed himself and spoke. "Thank God, my dear brother, for
126having revealed to you this unappeasable desire for unceasing interior prayer.
127Recognize in it the call of God, and calm yourself. Rest assured that what has
128hitherto been accomplished in you is the testing of the harmony of your own will with
129the voice of God. It has been granted to you to understand that the heavenly light of
130unceasing interior prayer is attained neither by the wisdom of this world, nor by the
131mere outward desire for knowledge, but that on the contrary it is found in poverty of
132spirit and in active experience in simplicity of heart. That is why it is not surprising
133that you have been unable to hear anything about the essential work of prayer, and
134to acquire the knowledge by which ceaseless activity in it is attained. Doubtless a
135great deal has been preached about prayer, and there is much about it in the
136teaching of various writers. But since for the most part all their reasonings are based
137upon speculation and the working of natural wisdom, and not upon active experience,
138they sermonize about the qualities of prayer rather than about the nature of the thing
139itself. One argues beautifully about the necessity of prayer, another about its power
140and the blessings which attend it, a third again about the things which lead to
141perfection in prayer, that is, about the absolute necessity of zeal, an attentive mind,
142warmth of heart, purity of thought, reconciliation with one's enemies, humility,
143contrition, and so on. But what is prayer? And how does one learn to pray? Upon
144these questions, primary and essential as they are, one very rarely gets any precise
145enlightenment from present-day preachers. For these questions are more difficult to
146understand than all their arguments that I have just spoken of, and they require
147mystical knowledge, not simply the learning of the schools. And the most deplorable
148thing of all is that the vain wisdom of the world compels them to apply the human
149standard to the divine. Many people reason quite the wrong way round about prayer,
150
1516:
152
153thinking that good actions and all sorts of preliminary measures render us capable of
154prayer. But quite the reverse is the case; it is prayer which bears fruit in good works
155and all the virtues. Those who reason so take, incorrectly, the fruits and the results of
156prayer for the means of attaining it, and this is to depreciate the power of prayer. And
157it is quite contrary to Holy Scripture, for the Apostle Paul says, 'I exhort therefore that
158first of all supplications be made' (1 Tim. 2:1). The first thing laid down in the
159Apostle's words about prayer is that the work of prayer comes before everything else:
160'1 exhort therefore that first of all ... ' The Christian is bound to perform many good
161works, but before all else what he ought to do is to pray, for without prayer no other
162good work whatever can be accomplished. Without prayer he cannot find the way to
163the Lord, he cannot understand the truth, he cannot crucify the flesh with its passions
164and lusts, his heart cannot be enlightened with the light of Christ, he cannot be
165savingly united to God. None of those things can be effected unless they are
166preceded by constant prayer. I say 'constant,' for the perfection of prayer does not lie
167within our power; as the Apostle Paul says, 'For we know not what we should pray for
168as we ought' (Rom. 8:26). Consequently it is just to pray often, to pray always, which
169falls within our power as the means of attaining purity of prayer, which is the mother
170of all spiritual blessings. 'Capture the mother, and she will bring you the children,'
171said St. Isaac the Syrian. Learn first to acquire the power of prayer and you will easily
172practice all the other virtues. But those who know little of this from practical
173experience and the profoundest teaching of the holy Fathers have no clear
174knowledge of it and speak of it but little."
175
176During this talk, we had almost reached the monastery. And so as not to lose touch
177with this wise old man and to get what I wanted more quickly, I hastened to say, "Be
178so kind, reverend Father, as to show me what prayer without ceasing means and
179how it is learnt. I see you know all about these things."
180
181He took my request kindly and asked me into his cell. "Come in," said he. "I will
182give you a volume of the holy Fathers from which with God's help you can learn
183about prayer clearly and in detail."
184
185We went into his cell and he began to speak as follows. "The continuous interior
186prayer of Jesus is a constant uninterrupted calling upon the divine name of Jesus
187
1887:
189
190with the lips, in the spirit, in the heart, while forming a mental picture of His constant
191presence, and imploring His grace, during every occupation, at all times, in all places,
192even during sleep. The appeal is couched in these terms, 'Lord Jesus Christ, have
193mercy on me.' One who accustoms himself to this appeal experiences as a result so
194deep a consolation and so great a need to offer the prayer always that he can no
195longer live without it, and it will continue to voice itself within him of its own accord.
196Now do you understand what prayer without ceasing is?"
197
198"Yes indeed, Father, and in God's name teach me how to gain the habit of it," I
199cried, filled with joy.
200
201"Read this book," he said. "It is called The Philokalia,1 and it contains the full and
202detailed science of constant interior prayer, set forth by twenty-five holy Fathers. The
203book is marked by a lofty wisdom and is so profitable to use that it is considered the
204foremost and best manual of the contemplative spiritual life. As the revered
205Nicephorus said, 'It leads one to salvation without labor and sweat.'"
206
207"Is it then more sublime and holy than the Bible?" I asked.
208
209"No, it is not that. But it contains clear explanations of what the Bible holds in
210secret and which cannot be easily grasped by our shortsighted understanding. I will
211give you an illustration. The sun is the greatest, the most resplendent, and the most
212wonderful of heavenly luminaries, but you cannot contemplate and examine it simply
213with unprotected eyes. You have to use a piece of artificial glass that is many millions
214of times smaller and darker than the sun. But through this little piece of glass you can
215examine the magnificent monarch of stars, delight in it, and endure its fiery rays. Holy
216Scripture also is a dazzling sun, and this book, The Philokalia, is the piece of glass
217which we use to enable us to contemplate the sun in its imperial splendor. Listen
218now: I am going to read you the sort of instruction it gives on unceasing interior
219prayer."
220
221He opened the book, found the instruction by St. Simeon the new theologian, and
222read: " 'Sit down alone and in silence. Lower your head, shut your eyes, breathe
223out gently, and imagine yourself looking into your own heart. Carry your mind, that is,
224your thoughts, from your head to your heart. As you breathe out, say "Lord Jesus
225Christ, have mercy on me." Say it moving your lips gently, or simply say it in your
226
2278:
228
229mind. Try to put all other thoughts aside. Be calm, be patient, and repeat the process
230very frequently.'"
231
232The old man explained all this to me and illustrated its meaning. We went on reading
233from The Philokalia passages of St. Gregory of Sinai, St. Callistus, and St. Ignatius,
234and what we read from the book the starets explained in his own words. I listened
235closely and with great delight, fixed it in my memory, and tried as far as possible to
236remember every detail. In this way we spent the whole night together and went to
237matins without having slept at all.The starets sent me away with his blessing and told
238me that while learning the prayer I must always come back to him and tell him
239everything, making a very frank confession and report; for the inward process could
240not go on properly and successfully without the guidance of a teacher.
241
242In church I felt a glowing eagerness to take all the pains I could to learn unceasing
243interior prayer, and I prayed to God to come to my help. Then I began to wonder how
244I should manage to see my starets again for counsel or confession, since leave was
245not given to remain for more than three days in the monastery guesthouse, and there
246were no houses near. However, I learned that there was a village between two and
247three miles from the monastery. I went there to look for a place to live, and to my
248great happiness God showed me the thing I needed. A peasant hired me for the
249whole summer to look after his kitchen garden, and what is more gave me the use of
250a little thatched hut in it where I could live alone. God be praised! I had found a quiet
251place. And in this manner I took up my abode and began to learn interior prayer in
252the way I had been shown, and to go to see my starets from time to time.
253
254For a week, alone in my garden, I steadily set myself to learn to pray without ceasing
255exactly as the starets had explained. At first things seemed to go very well. But then it
256tired me very much. I felt lazy and bored and overwhelmingly sleepy, and a cloud of
257all sorts of other thoughts closed round me. I went in distress to my starets and told
258him the state I was in.
259
2609
261
262He greeted me in a friendly way and said, "My dear brother, it is the attack of the
263world of darkness upon you. To that world, nothing is worse than heartfelt prayer on
264our part. And it is trying by every means to hinder you and to turn you aside from
265learning the prayer. But all the same the enemy does only what God sees fit to allow,
266and no more than is necessary for us. It would appear that you need a further testing
267of your humility, and that it is too soon, therefore, for your unmeasured zeal to
268approach the loftiest entrance to the heart. You might fall into spiritual covetousness.
269I will read you a little instruction from The Philokalia upon such cases."
270
271He turned to the teaching of Nicephorus and read, " 'If after a few attempts you do
272not succeed in reaching the realm of your heart in the way you have been taught, do
273what I am about to say, and by God's help you will find what you seek. The faculty of
274pronouncing words lies in the throat. Reject all other thoughts (you can do this if you
275will) and allow that faculty to repeat only the following words constantly, "Lord Jesus
276Christ, have mercy on me." Compel yourself to do it always. If you succeed for a
277time, then without a doubt your heart also will open to prayer. We know it from
278experience.'
279
280"There you have the teaching of the holy Fathers on such cases," said my starets,
281"and therefore you ought from today onward to carry out my directions with
282confidence, and repeat the prayer of Jesus as often as possible. Here is a rosary.
283Take it, and to start with say the prayer three thousand times a day. Whether you are
284standing or sitting, walking or lying down, continually repeat 'Lord Jesus Christ, have
285mercy on me.' Say it quietly and without hurry, but without fail exactly three thousand
286times a day without deliberately increasing or diminishing the number. God will help
287you and by this means you will reach also the unceasing activity of the heart." I gladly
288accepted this guidance and went home and began to carry out faithfully and exactly
289what my starets had bidden. For two days I found it rather difficult, but after that it
290became so easy and likeable, that as soon as I stopped, I felt a sort of need to go on
291saying the prayer of Jesus, and I did it freely and willingly, not forcing myself to it as
292before. I reported to my starets, and he bade me say the prayer six thousand times a
293day, saying, "Be calm, just try as faithfully as possible to carry out the set number of
294prayers. God will vouchsafe you His grace."
295
29610:
297
298In my lonely hut I said the prayer of Jesus six thousand times a day for a whole
299week. I felt no anxiety. Taking no notice of any other thoughts however much they
300assailed me, I had but one object, to carry out my starets's bidding exactly. And what
301happened? I grew so used to my prayer that when I stopped for a single moment I
302felt, so to speak, as though something were missing, as though I had lost something.
303The very moment I started the prayer again, it went on easily and joyously. If I met
304anyone I had no wish to talk to him. All I wanted was to be alone and to say my
305prayer, so used to it had I become in a week.
306
307My starets had not seen me for ten days. On the eleventh day he came to see me
308himself, and I told him how things were going. He listened and said, "Now you have
309got used to the prayer. See that you preserve the habit and strengthen it. Waste no
310time, therefore, but make up your mind by God's help from today to say the prayer of
311Jesus twelve thousand times a day. Remain in your solitude, get up early, go to bed
312late, and come and ask advice of me every fortnight."
313
314I did as he bade me. The first day I scarcely succeeded in finishing my task of saying
315twelve thousand prayers by late evening. The second day I did it easily and
316contentedly. To begin with, this ceaseless saying of the prayer brought a certain
317amount of weariness, my tongue felt numbed, I had a stiff sort of feeling in my jaws, I
318had a feeling at first pleasant but afterward slightly painful in the roof of my mouth.
319The thumb of my left hand, with which I counted my beads, hurt a little. I felt a slight
320inflammation in the whole of that wrist, and even up to the elbow, which was not
321unpleasant. Moreover, all this aroused me, as it were, and urged me on to frequent
322saying of the prayer. For five days I did my set number of twelve thousand prayers,
323and as I formed the habit I found at the same time pleasure and satisfaction in it.
324
325Early one morning the prayer woke me up as it were. I started to say my usual
326morning prayers, but my tongue refused to say them easily or exactly. My whole
327desire was fixed upon one thing only—to say the prayer of Jesus, and as soon as I
328went on with it I was filled with joy and relief. It was as though my lips and my tongue
329
33011
331
332pronounced the words entirely of themselves without any urging from me. I spent the
333whole day in a state of the greatest contentment. I felt as though I was cut off from
334everything else. I lived as though in another world, and I easily finished my twelve
335thousand prayers by the early evening. I felt very much like still going on with them,
336but I did not dare to go beyond the number my starets had set me. Every day
337following I went on in the same way with my calling on the name of Jesus Christ, and
338that with great readiness and liking. Then I went to see my starets and told him
339everything frankly and in detail.
340
341He heard me out and then said, "Be thankful to God that this desire for the prayer
342and this facility in it have been manifested in you. It is a natural consequence which
343follows constant effort and spiritual achievement. So a machine to the principal wheel
344of which one gives a drive works for a long while afterward by itself; but if it is to go
345on working still longer, one must oil it and give it another drive. Now you see with
346what admirable gifts God in His love for mankind has endowed even the bodily nature
347of man. You see what feelings can be produced even outside a state of grace in a
348soul which is sinful and with passions unsubdued, as you yourself have experienced.
349But how wonderful, how delightful, and how consoling a thing it is when God is
350pleased to grant the gift of self-acting spiritual prayer, and to cleanse the soul from all
351sensuality! It is a condition which is impossible to describe, and the discovery of this
352mystery of prayer is a foretaste on earth of the bliss of heaven. Such happiness is
353reserved for those who seek after God in the simplicity of a loving heart. Now I give
354you my permission to say your prayer as often as you wish and as often as you can.
355Try to devote every moment you are awake to the prayer, call on the name of Jesus
356Christ without counting the number of times, and submit yourself humbly to the will of
357God, looking to Him for help. I am sure He will not forsake you and that He will lead
358you into the right path."
359
360Under this guidance I spent the whole summer in ceaseless oral prayer to Jesus
361Christ, and I felt absolute peace in my soul. During sleep I often dreamed that I was
362saying the prayer. And during the day if I happened to meet anyone, all men without
363exception were as dear to me as if they had been my nearest relations. But I did not
364
36512
366
367concern myself with them much. All my ideas were quite calmed of their own accord.
368I thought of nothing whatever but my prayer. My mind tended to listen to it, and my
369heart began of itself to feel at times a certain warmth and pleasure. If I happened to
370go to church, the lengthy service of the monastery seemed short to me and no longer
371wearied me as it had in time past. My lonely hut seemed like a splendid palace, and I
372knew not how to thank God for having sent to me, a lost sinner, so wholesome a
373guide and master.
374
375But I was not long to enjoy the teaching of my dear starets, who was so full of divine
376wisdom. He died at the end of the summer. Weeping freely I bade him farewell and
377thanked him for the fatherly teaching he had given my wretched self, and as a
378blessing and a keepsake I begged for the rosary with which he said his prayers.
379
380And so I was left alone. Summer came to an end and the kitchen garden was
381cleared. I had no longer anywhere to live. My peasant sent me away, giving me by
382way of wages two rubles, and filling up my bag with dried bread for my journey. Again
383I started off on my wanderings. But now I did not walk along as before, filled with
384care. The calling upon the name of Jesus Christ gladdened my way. Everybody was
385kind to me; it was as though everyone loved me.Then it occurred to me to wonder
386what I was to do with the money I had earned by my care of the kitchen garden. What
387good was it to me? Yet stay! I no longer had a starets; there was no one to go on
388teaching me. Why not buy The Philokalia and continue to learn from it more about
389interior prayer?
390
391I crossed myself and set off with my prayer. I came to a large town, where I asked for
392the book in all the shops. In the end I found it, but they asked me three rubles for it,
393and I had only two. I bargained for a long time, but the shopkeeper would not budge
394an inch. Finally he said, "Go to this church nearby, and speak to the churchwarden.
395He has a book like that, but it's a very old copy. Perhaps he will let you have it for two
396rubles." I went, and sure enough I found and bought for my two rubles a worn and old
397copy of The Philokalia. I was delighted with it. I mended my book as much as I could,
398
39913
400
401I made a cover for it with a piece of cloth, and put it into my breast pocket with my
402Bible.
403
404And that is how I go about now, and ceaselessly repeat the prayer of Jesus, which is
405more precious and sweet to me than anything in the world. At times I do as much as
406forty-three or four miles a day and do not feel that I am walking at all. I am aware only
407of the fact that I am saying my prayer. When the bitter cold pierces me, I begin to say
408my prayer more earnestly, and I quickly get warm all over. When hunger begins to
409overcome me, I call more often on the name of Jesus, and I forget my wish for food.
410When I fall ill and get rheumatism in my back and legs, I fix my thoughts on the
411prayer and do not notice the pain. If anyone harms me I have only to think, "How
412sweet is the prayer of Jesus!" and the injury and the anger alike pass away and I
413forget it all. I have become a sort of half-conscious person. I have no cares and no
414interests. The fussy business of the world I would not give a glance to. The one thing
415I wish for is to be alone, and all by myself to pray, to pray without ceasing; and doing
416this, I am filled with joy. God knows what is happening to me! Of course, all this is
417sensuous, or as my departed starets said, an artificial state that follows naturally
418upon routine. But because of my unworthiness and stupidity I dare not venture yet to
419go on further and learn and make my own spiritual prayer within the depths of my
420heart. I await God's time. And in the meanwhile I rest my hope on the prayers of my
421departed starets. Thus, although I have not yet reached that ceaseless spiritual
422prayer which is self-acting in the heart, yet I thank God I do now understand the
423meaning of those words I heard in the Epistle—"Pray without ceasing."
424
425I WANDERED ABOUT for a long time in different districts, having for my fellow-
426traveler the prayer of Jesus, which heartened and consoled me in all my journeys, in
427all my meetings with other people, and in all the happenings of travel. But I came to
428feel at last that it would be better for me to stay in some one place, in order to be
429alone more often, so as to be able to keep by myself and study The Philokalia.
430Although I read it whenever I found shelter for the night or rested during the day, yet I
431greatly wished to go more and more deeply into it, and with faith and heartfelt prayer
432to learn from it teaching about the truth for the salvation of my soul.
433
43414:
435
436However, in spite of all my wishes, I could nowhere find any work that I was able to
437do, for I had lost the use of my left arm when quite a child. Seeing that because of
438this I should not be able to get myself a fixed abode, I made up my mind to go into
439Siberia to the tomb of St. Innocent of Irkutsk. My idea was that in the forests and
440steppes of Siberia I should travel in greater silence and therefore in a way that was
441better for prayer and reading. And this journey I undertook, all the while saying my
442oral prayer without stopping.
443
444After no great lapse of time I had the feeling that the prayer had, so to speak, by its
445own action passed from my lips to my heart. That is to say, it seemed as though my
446heart in its ordinary beating began to say the words of the prayer within at each beat.
447Thus for example, one, "Lord," two, "Jesus," three, "Christ," and so on. I gave up
448saying the prayer with my lips. I simply listened carefully to what my heart was
449saying. It seemed as though my eyes looked right down into it; and I dwelt upon the
450words of my departed starets when he was telling me about this joy. Then I felt
451something like a slight pain in my heart, and in my thoughts so great a love for Jesus
452Christ that I pictured myself, if only I could see Him, throwing myself at His feet and
453not letting them go from my embrace, kissing them tenderly, and thanking Him with
454tears for having of His love and grace allowed me to find so great a consolation in His
455Name, me, His unworthy and sinful creature! Further there came into my heart a
456gracious warmth which spread through my whole breast. This moved me to a still
457closer reading of The Philokalia in order to test my feelings, and to make a thorough
458study of the business of secret prayer in the heart. For without such testing I was
459afraid of falling a victim to the mere charm of it, or of taking natural effects for the
460effects of grace, and of giving way to pride at my quick learning of the prayer. It was
461of this danger that I had heard my departed starets speak. For this reason I took to
462walking more by night and chose to spend my days reading The Philokalia sitting
463down under a tree in the forest. Ah! What wisdom, such as I had never known before,
464was shown me by this reading! Giving myself up to it I felt a delight which till then I
465had never been able to imagine. It is true that many places were still beyond the
466grasp of my dull mind. But my prayer in the heart brought with it the clearing up of
467
46815:
469
470things I did not understand. Sometimes also, though very rarely, I saw my departed
471starets in a dream, and he threw light upon many things, and, most of all, guided my
472ignorant soul more and more toward humility.
473
474In this blissful state I passed more than two months of the summer. For the most part
475I went through the forests and along bypaths. When I came to a village I asked only
476for a bag of dried bread and a handful of salt. I filled my bark jar with water, and so on
477for another sixty miles or so.
478
479Toward the end of the summer temptation began to attack me, perhaps as a result of
480the sins on my wretched soul, perhaps as something needed in the spiritual life,
481perhaps as the best way of giving me teaching and experience. A clear case in point
482was the following. One day when I came out on to the main road as twilight was
483falling, two men with shaved heads who looked like a couple of soldiers came up to
484me. They demanded money. When I told them that I had not a farthing on me, they
485would not believe me, and shouted insolently, "You're lying, pilgrims always pick up
486lots of money."
487
488"What's the good of arguing with him!" said one of them, and gave me such a blow
489on the head with his oak cudgel that I dropped senseless. I do not know whether I
490remained senseless long, but when I came to I found myself lying in the forest by the
491roadside, robbed. My knapsack had gone; all that was left of it were the cords from
492which it hung, which they had cut. Thank God they had not stolen my passport, which
493I carried in my old fur cap so as to be able to show it as quickly as possible on
494demand. I got up weeping bitterly, not so much on account of the pain in my head as
495for the loss of my books, the Bible and The Philokalia, which were in the stolen
496knapsack.
497
498Day and night I did not cease to weep and lament. Where was it now, my Bible which
499I had always carried with me, and which I had always read from my youth onward?
500Where was my Philokalia, from which I had gained so much teaching and
501consolation? Oh unhappy me, to have lost the first and last treasures of my life
502
50316:
504
505before having had my fill of them! It would have been better to be killed outright than
506to live without this spiritual food. For I should never be able to replace the books now.
507
508For two days I just dragged myself along, I was so crushed by the weight of my
509misfortune. On the third I quite reached the end of my strength, and dropping down in
510the shelter of a bush I fell asleep. And then I had a dream. I was back at the
511monastery in the cell of my starets, deploring my loss. The old man was trying to
512comfort me. He said, "Let this be a lesson to you in detachment from earthly things,
513for your better advance toward heaven. This has been allowed to happen to you to
514save you from falling into the mere enjoyment of spiritual things. God would have the
515Christian absolutely renounce all his desires and delights and attachments, and to
516submit himself entirely to His divine will. He orders every event for the help and
517salvation of man; 'He willeth that all men should be saved.' Take courage then and
518believe that God 'will with the temptation provide also a way of escape' (1 Cor.
51910:13). Soon you will be rejoicing much more than you are now distressed." At these
520words I awoke, feeling my strength come back to me and 'I my soul full of light and
521peace. "God's will be done," I said. I crossed myself, got up, and went on my way.
522The prayer again began to be active in my heart, as before, and for three days I went
523along in peace.
524
525All at once I came upon a body of convicts with their military escort. When I came up
526to them I recognized the two men who had robbed me. They were in the outside file,
527and so I fell at their feet and earnestly begged them to tell me what they had done
528with my books. At first they paid no heed to me, but in the end one of them said, "If
529you will give us something we will tell you where your books are. Give us a ruble." I
530swore to them that even if I had to beg the ruble from someone for the love of God, I
531would certainly give it to them, and by way of pledge I offered them my passport.
532Then they told me that my books were in the wagons which followed the prisoners,
533among all the other stolen things they were found with.
534
535"How can I get them?"
536
537"Ask the officer in charge of us."
538
539I hurried to the officer and told him the whole story.
540
54117:
542
543"Can you really read the Bible?" he asked me.
544
545"Yes," I answered, "not only can I read everything, but what is more, I can write
546too. You will see a signature in the Bible which shows it is mine, and here is my
547passport showing the same name and surname."
548
549He then told me that the rascals who had robbed me were deserters living in a
550mud hut in the forest and that they had plundered many people, but that a clever
551driver whose troika they had tried to steal had captured them the day before. "All
552right," he added, "I will give you your books back if they are there, but you come with
553us as far as our halting place for the night; it is only a little over two miles. Then I
554need not stop the whole convoy and the wagons just for your sake." I agreed to this
555gladly, and as I walked along at his horse's side, we began to talk.
556
557I saw that he was a kindly and honest fellow and no longer young. He asked me
558who I was, where I came from, and where I was going. I answered all his questions
559without hiding anything, and so we reached the house which marked the end of the
560day's march. He found my books and gave them back to me, saying, "Where are you
561going, now night has come on? Stay here and sleep in my anteroom." So I stayed.
562
563Now that I had my books again, I was so glad that I did not know how to thank God. I
564clasped the books to my breast and held them there so long that my hands got quite
565numbed. I shed tears of joy, and my heart beat with delight. The officer watched me
566and said, "You must love reading your Bible very much!" But such was my joy that I
567could not answer him, I could only weep. Then he went on to say, "I also read the
568Gospel regularly every day, brother." He produced a small copy of the Gospels,
569printed in Kiev and bound in silver, saying, "Sit down, and I will tell you how it came
570about.
571
572"Hullo there, let us have some supper," he shouted.
573
574We drew up to the table and the officer began his story.
575
576"Ever since I was a young man I have been with the army in the field and not on
577garrison service. I knew my job, and my superior officers liked me for a conscientious
578second lieutenant. Still, I was young, and so were my friends. Unhappily I took to
579
58018:
581
582drink, and drunkenness became a regular passion with me. So long as I kept away
583from drink, I was a good officer, but when I gave way to it, I was no good for anything
584for six weeks at a time. They bore with me for a long while,' but the end of it was that
585after being thoroughly rude while drunk to my commanding officer, I was cashiered
586and transferred to a garrison as a private soldier for three years. I was threatened
587with a still more severe punishment if I did not give up drinking and mend my ways.
588Even in this miserable state of affairs, however much I tried, I could not regain my
589self-control nor cure myself. I found it impossible to get rid of my passion for drink,
590and it was decided to send me to a disciplinary corps. When I was informed of this I
591was at my wits' end. I was in barracks occupied with my wretched thoughts when
592there arrived a monk who was going round collecting for a church. We each of us
593gave him what we could. "He came up to me and asked me why I was so unhappy,
594and I talked to him and told him my troubles. He sympathized with me and said, 'The
595same thing happened to my own brother, and what do you think helped him? His
596spiritual father gave him a copy of the Gospels with strict orders to read a chapter
597without a moment's delay every time he felt a longing for wine coming over him. If the
598desire continued he was to read a second chapter, and so on. That is what my
599brother did, and at the end of a very short time his drunkenness came to an end. It is
600now fifteen years since he touched a drop of alcohol. You do the same, and you will
601see how that will help you. I have a copy of the Gospels which you must let me bring
602you.' "I listened to him, and then I said, 'How can your Gospels help me since all
603efforts of my own and all the medical treatment have failed to stop me drinking?' I
604talked in that way because I had as yet never been in the habit of reading the
605Gospels. 'Don't say that,' replied the monk, 'I assure you that it will be a help.' As a
606matter of fact, the next day he brought me this very copy. I opened it, took a glance,
607and said, 'I cannot accept it. I am not used to Church Slavonic and don't understand
608it.' But the monk went on to assure me that in the very words of the gospel there lay a
609gracious power, for in them was written what God Himself had spoken. 'It does not
610matter very much if at first you do not understand; go on reading diligently. A monk
611once said, "If you do not understand the Word of God, the devils understand what
612you are reading, and tremble," and your.drunkenness is certainly the work of devils.
613And here is another thing I will tell you. St. John Chrysostom writes that even a room
614
61519
616
617in which a copy of the Gospels is kept holds the spirits of darkness at bay and
618becomes an unpromising field for their wiles.' "I forget what I gave the monk. But I
619bought his book of the Gospels, put it away in a trunk with my other things, and forgot
620it. Some while afterward a bout of drunkenness threatened me. An irresistible desire
621for drink drove me hurriedly to open my trunk to get some money and rush off to the
622public house. But the first thing my eyes fell on was the copy of the Gospels, and all
623that the monk had said came back vividly to my mind. I opened the book and began
624to read the first chapter of St. Matthew. I got to the end of it without understanding a
625word. Still I remembered that the monk had said, 'No matter if you do not understand,
626go on reading diligently.' 'Come,' said I, 'I must read the second chapter.' I did so and
627began to understand a little. So I started on the third chapter and then the barracks
628bell began to ring; everyone had to go to bed, no one was allowed to go out, and I
629had to stay where I was. When I got up in the morning I was just on the point of going
630out to get some wine when I suddenly thought—supposing I were to read another
631chapter? What would be the result? I read it and I did not go to the public house.
632Again I felt the craving, and again I read a chapter. I felt a certain amount of relief.
633This encouraged me, and from that time on, whenever I felt the need of drink, I used
634to read a chapter of the Gospels. What is more, as time went on things got better and
635better, and by the time I had finished all four Gospels my drunkenness was
636absolutely a thing of the past, and I felt nothing but disgust for it. It is just twenty
637years now since I drank a drop of alcohol.
638
639"Everybody was astonished at the change brought about in me. Some three years
640later my commission was restored to me. In due course I was promoted, and finally
641got my majority. I married; I am blessed with a good wife, we have made a position
642for ourselves, and so, thank God, we go on living our life. As far as we can, we help
643the poor and give hospitality to pilgrims. Why, now I have a son who is an officer and
644a first-rate fellow. And mark this—since the time when I was cured of drunkenness, I
645have lived under a vow to read the Gospels every single day of my life, one whole
646Gospel in every twenty- four hours, and I let nothing whatever hinder me. I do this
647still. If I am exceedingly pressed with business and unusually tired, I lie down and get
648my wife or my son to read the whole of one of the evangelists to me, and so avoid
649breaking my rule. By way of thanksgiving and for the glory of God I have had this
650
65120:
652
653book of the Gospels mounted in pure silver, and I always carry it in my breast
654pocket."
655
656I listened with great joy to this story of his. "I also have come across a case of the
657same sort," I told him.
658
659"At the factory in our village there was a craftsman, very skillful at his job, and a
660good, kindly fellow. Unhappily, however, he also drank, and very often at that. A
661certain God-fearing man advised him, when the desire for drink seized him, to repeat
662the prayer of Jesus thirty- three times in honor of the Holy Trinity, and in memory of
663the thirty-three years of the earthly life of Jesus Christ. He took his advice and started
664to carry it out, and very soon he quite gave up drinking. And, what is more, three
665years later he went into a monastery."
666
667"And which is the best," he asked, "the prayer of Jesus, or the Gospels?"
668
669"It's all one and the same thing," I answered. "What the Gospel is, that the prayer
670of Jesus is also, for the Divine Name of Jesus Christ holds in itself the whole
671Gospel truth. The holy Fathers say that the prayer of Jesus is a summary of the
672Gospels." After our talk we said prayers, and the major began to read the Gospel of
673St. Mark from the beginning, and I listened and said the prayer in my heart. At two
674o'clock in the morning he came to the end of the gospel, and we parted and went to
675bed.
676
677As usual I got up early in the morning. Everyone was still asleep. As soon as it began
678to get light, I eagerly seized my beloved Philokalia. With what gladness I opened it! I
679might have been getting a glimpse of my own father coming back from a far country,
680or of a friend risen from the dead. I kissed it and thanked God for giving it me back
681again. I began at once to read Theolept of Philadelphia, in the second part of the
682book. His teaching surprised me when he lays down that one and the same person at
683one and the same time should do three quite different things. "Seated at table," he
684says, "supply your body with food, your ear with reading, and your mind with prayer."
685But the memory of the very happy evening the day before really gave me from my
686own experience the meaning of this thought. And here also the secret was revealed
687to me that the mind and the heart are not one and the same thing.
688
68921
690
691As soon as the major rose I went to thank him for his kindness and to say good-bye.
692He gave me tea and a ruble and bade me farewell. I set off again feeling very happy.
693I had gone over half a mile when I remembered I had promised the soldiers a ruble,
694and that now this ruble had come to me in a quite unlooked-for way. Should I give it
695to them or not? At first I thought: they beat you and they robbed you; moreover this
696money will be of no use to them whatever, since they are under arrest. But afterward
697other thoughts came to me. Remember it is written in the Bible, "If thine enemy
698hunger, feed him," and Jesus Christ himself said, "Love your enemies," "And if any
699man will take away thy coat let him have thy cloak also." That settled it for me. I went
700back, and just as I got to the house all the convicts came out to start on the next
701stage of their march. I went quickly up to my two soldiers, handed them my ruble and
702said, "Repent and pray! Jesus Christ loves men; he will not forsake you." And with
703that I left them and went on my way.
704
705After doing some thirty miles along the main road I thought I would take a bypath so
706that I might be more by myself and read more quietly. For a long while I walked
707through the heart of the forest, and but rarely came upon a village. At times I passed
708almost the whole day sitting under the trees and carefully reading The Philokalia,
709from which I gained a surprising amount of knowledge. My heart kindled with desire
710for union with God by means of interior prayer, and I was eager to learn it under the
711guidance and control of my book. At the same time I felt sad that I had no dwelling
712where I could give myself up quietly to reading all the while. During this time I read
713my Bible also, and I felt that I began to understand it more clearly than before, when I
714had failed to understand many things in it and had often been a prey to doubts. The
715holy Fathers were right when they said that The Philokalia is a key to the mysteries of
716holy Scripture. With the help it gave me I began to some extent to understand the
717hidden meaning of the Word of God. I began to see the meaning of such sayings as
718"the inner secret man of the heart," "true prayer worships in the spirit," "the kingdom
719is within us," "the intercession of the Holy Spirit with groanings that cannot be
720uttered," "abide in me," "give me thy heart," "to put on Christ," "the betrothal of the
721Spirit to our hearts," the cry from the depths of the heart, "Abba, Father," and so on.
722And when with all this in mind I prayed with my heart, everything around me seemed
723
72422
725
726delightful and marvelous. The trees, the grass, the birds, the earth, the air, the light
727seemed to be telling me that they existed for man's sake, that they witnessed to the
728love of God for man, that everything proved the love of God for man, that all things
729prayed to God and sang His praise. Thus it was that I came to understand what The
730Philokalia calls "the knowledge of the speech of all creatures," and I saw the means
731by which converse could be held with God's creatures. In this way I wandered about
732for a long while, coming at length to so lonely a district that for three days I came
733upon no village at all. My supply of dried bread was used up, and I began to be very
734much cast down at the thought I might die of hunger. I began to pray my hardest in
735the depths of my heart. All my fears went, and I entrusted myself to the will of God.
736My peace of mind came back to me, and I was in good spirits again. When I had
737gone a little further along the road, which here skirted a huge forest, I caught sight of
738a dog that came out of it and ran along in front of me. I called it, and it came up to me
739with a great show of friendliness. I was glad, and I thought, Here is another case of
740God's goodness! No doubt there is a flock grazing in the forest and this dog belongs
741to the shepherd. Or perhaps somebody is shooting in the neighborhood. Whichever it
742is I shall be able to beg a piece of bread if nothing more, for I have eaten nothing for
743twenty-four hours. Or at least I shall be able to find out where the nearest village is.
744After jumping around me for some little time and seeing that I was not going to give
745him anything, the dog trotted back into the forest along the narrow footpath by which
746he had come out. I followed, and a few hundred yards further on, looking between
747the trees, I saw him run into a hole, from which he looked out and began to bark. At
748the same time a thin and pale middle-aged peasant came into view from behind a
749great tree. He asked me where I came from, and for my part I wanted to know how
750he came to be there, and so we started a friendly talk.
751
752He took me into his mud hut and told me that he was a forester and that he looked
753after this particular wood, which had been sold for felling. He set bread and salt
754before me, and we began to talk. "How I envy you," said I, "being able to live so
755nicely alone in this quiet instead of being like me! I wander from place to place and
756rub along with all sorts of people."
757
75823
759
760"You can stop here too, if you like," he answered. "The old forester's hut is quite
761near here. It is half ruined, but still quite fit to live in in summer. I suppose you have
762your passport. As far as bread goes, we shall always have plenty of that—it is
763brought to me every week from my village. This spring here never dries up. For my
764part, brother, I have eaten nothing but bread and have drunk nothing but water for
765the last ten years. This is how things stand. When autumn comes and the peasants
766have ended their work on the land, some two hundred workmen will be coming to cut
767down this wood. Then I shall have no further business here, and you will not be
768allowed to stay either."
769
770As I listened to all this I all but fell at his feet, I felt so pleased. I did not know how
771to thank God for such goodness. In this unlooked-for way my greatest wish was to be
772granted me. There were still over four months before next autumn; during all that time
773I could enjoy the silence and peace needed for a close reading of The Philokalia in
774order to study and learn ceaseless prayer in the heart. So I very gladly stayed there,
775to live during that time in the hut he showed me.I talked further with this simple
776brother who gave me shelter, and he told me about his life and his ideas. "I had quite
777a good position in the life of our village," said he. "I had a workshop where I dyed
778fustian and linen, and I lived comfortably enough, though not without sin. I often
779cheated in business, I was a false swearer, I was abusive, I used to drink and
780quarrel. In our village there was an old dyachok3 who had a very old book on the Last
781Judgment. He used to go from house to house and read from it, and he was paid
782something for doing so. He came to me too. Give him threepence and a glass of wine
783into the bargain and he would go on reading all night till cockcrow. There I would sit
784at my work and listen while he read about the torments that await us in hell. I heard
785how the living will be changed and the dead raised, how God will come down to
786judge the world, how the angels will sound the trumpets. I heard of the fire and pitch,
787and of the worm which will devour sinners. One day as I listened I was seized with
788horror, and I said to myself, What if these torments come upon me? I will set to work
789to save my soul. It may be that by prayer I can avoid the results of my sins. I thought
790about this for a long time. Then I gave up my work, sold my house, and as I was
791alone in the world, I got a place as forester here and all I ask of my mir4 is bread,
792clothes, and some candles for my prayers. I have been living like this for over ten
793
79424:
795
796years now. I eat only once a day and then nothing but bread and water. I get up at
797cockcrow, make my devotions, and say my prayers before the holy icons with seven
798candles burning. When I make my rounds in the forest during the day, I wear iron
799chains weighing sixty pounds next my skin. I never grumble, drink neither wine nor
800beer, I never quarrel with anybody at all, and I have had nothing to do with women
801and girls all my life. At first this sort of life pleased me, but lately other thoughts have
802come into my mind, and I cannot get away from them. God only knows if I shall be
803able to pray my sins away in this fashion, and it's a hard life. And is everything written
804in that book true? How can a dead man rise again? Supposing he has been dead
805over a hundred years and not even his ashes are left? Who knows if there is really a
806hell or not? What more is known of a man after he dies and rots? Perhaps the book
807was written by priests and masters to make us poor fools afraid and keep us quiet.
808What if we plague ourselves for nothing and give up all our pleasure in vain?
809Suppose there is no such thing as another life, what then? Isn't it better to enjoy
810one's earthly life, and take it easily and happily? Ideas of this kind often worry me,
811and I don't know but what I shall not some day go back to my old work."
812
813I heard him with pity. They say, I thought, that it is only the learned and the clever
814who are free thinkers and believe in nothing! Yet here is one of ourselves, even a
815simple peasant, a prey to such unbelief. The kingdom of darkness throws open its
816gates to everyone, it seems, and maybe attacks the simpleminded most easily.
817Therefore one must learn wisdom and strengthen oneself with the Word of God as
818much as possible against the enemy of the soul.
819
820So with the object of helping this brother and doing all I could to strengthen his faith, I
821took The Philokalia out of my knapsack. Turning to the 109th chapter of Isikhi, I read
822it to him. I set out to prove to him the use- lessness and vanity of avoiding sin merely
823from fear of the tortures of hell. I told him that the soul could be freed from sinful
824thoughts only by guarding the mind and cleansing the heart, and that this could be
825done by interior prayer. I added that according to the holy Fathers, one who performs
826saving works simply from the fear of hell follows the way of bondage, and he who
827does the same just in order to be rewarded with the kingdom of heaven follows the
828
82925:
830
831path of a bargainer with God. The one they call a slave, the other a hireling. But God
832wants us to come to Him as sons to their Father; He wants us to behave ourselves
833honorably from love for Him and zeal for His service; He wants us to find our
834happiness in uniting ourselves with Him in a saving union of mind and heart.
835
836"However much you spend yourself on treating your body hardly," I said, "you will
837never find peace of mind that way, and unless you have God in your mind and the
838ceaseless prayer of Jesus in your heart, you will always be likely to fall back into sin
839for the very slightest reason. Set to work, my brother, upon the ceaseless saying of
840the prayer of Jesus. You have such a good chance of doing so here in this lonely
841place, and in a short while you will see the gain of it. No godless thoughts will then be
842able to get at you, and the true faith and love for Jesus Christ will be shown to you.
843You will then understand how the dead will be raised, and you will see the Last
844Judgment in its true light. The prayer will make you feel such lightness and such bliss
845in your heart that you will be astonished at it yourself, and your wholesome way of life
846will be neither dull nor troublesome to you."
847
848Then I went on to explain to him as well as I could how to begin, and how to go on
849ceaselessly with the prayer of Jesus, and how the Word of God and the writings of
850the holy Fathers teach us about it. He agreed with it all and seemed to me to be
851calmer.
852
853Then I left him and shut myself up in the hut which he had shown me. Ah! How
854delighted I was, how calmly happy when I crossed the threshold of that lonely retreat,
855or rather, that tomb! It seemed to me like a magnificent palace filled with every
856consolation and delight. With tears of rapture I gave thanks to God and said to
857myself, Here in this peace and quietude I must seriously set to work at my task and
858beseech God to give me light. So I started by reading through The Philokalia again
859with great care, from beginning to end. Before long I had read the whole of it, and I
860saw how much wisdom, holiness, and depth of insight there was in this book. Still, so
861many matters were dealt with in it, and it contained such a lot of lessons from the
862holy Fathers, that I could not very well grasp it all and take in as a single whole what
863was said about interior prayer. And this was what I chiefly wanted to know, so as to
864learn from it how to practice ceaseless self-acting prayer in the heart.
865
86626:
867
868This was my great desire, following the divine command in the Apostle's words,
869"Covet earnestly the best gifts," and again, "Quench not the Spirit." I thought over the
870matter for a long time. What was to be done? My mind and my understanding were
871not equal to the task, and there was no one to explain. I made up my mind to besiege
872God with prayer. Maybe He would make me understand somehow. For twenty-four
873hours I did nothing but pray without stopping for a single moment. At last my thoughts
874were calmed, and I fell asleep. And then I dreamed that I was in my departed starets'
875cell and that he was explaining The Philokalia to me. "The holy book is full of
876profound wisdom," he was saying. "It is a secret treasury of the meaning of the
877hidden judgments of God. It is not everywhere and to everyone that it is
878accessible, but it does give to each such guidance as he needs: to the wise, wise
879guidance, to the simpleminded, simple guidance. That is why you simple folk should
880not read the chapters one after the other as they are arranged in the book. That order
881is for those who are instructed in theology. Those who are uninstructed, but who
882nevertheless desire to learn interior prayer from this book, should take things in this
883order. First of all, read through the book of Nicephorus the monk (in part two), then
884the whole book of Gregory of Sinai, except the short chapters, Simeon the new
885theologian on the three forms of prayer and his discourse on faith, and after that the
886book of Callistus and Ignatius. In these Fathers there are full directions and teaching
887on interior prayer of the heart, in a form which everyone can understand.
888
889"And if, in addition, you want to find a very understandable instruction on prayer,
890turn to part four and find the summarized pattern of prayer by the most holy Callistus,
891patriarch of Constantinople."
892
893In my dream I held the book in my hands and began to look for this passage, but I
894was quite unable to find it. Then he turned over a few pages himself and said, "Here
895it is, I will mark it for you." He picked up a piece of charcoal from the ground and
896made a mark in the margin, against the passage he had found. I listened to him with
897care and tried to fix in my mind everything he said, word for word. When I woke up it
898was still dark. I lay still and in thought went over my dream and all that my starets had
899said to me. "God knows," thought I, "whether it is really the spirit of my departed
900starets that I have seen, or whether it is only the outcome of my own thoughts,
901
90227:
903
904because they are so often taken up with The Philokalia and my starets." With this
905doubt in my mind I got up, for day was beginning to break, and what did I see? There
906on the stone which served as a table in my hut lay the book open at the very page
907which my starets had pointed out to me, and in the margin, a charcoal mark just as in
908my dream! Even the piece of charcoal itself was lying beside the book! I looked in
909astonishment, for I remembered clearly that the book was not there the evening
910before, that it had been put, shut, under my pillow, and also I was quite certain that
911before there had been nothing where now I saw the charcoal mark.
912
913It was this which made me sure of the truth of my dream, and that my revered master
914of blessed memory was pleasing to God. I set about reading The Philokalia in the
915exact order he had bidden. I read it once, and again a second time, and this reading
916kindled in my soul a zealous desire to make what I had read a matter of practical
917experience. I saw clearly what interior prayer means, how it is to be reached, what
918the fruits of it are, how it filled one's heart and soul with delight, and how one could
919tell whether that delight comes from God, from nature, or from temptation.
920
921So I began by searching out my heart in the way Simeon the new theologian
922teaches. With my eyes shut I gazed in thought, that is, in imagination, upon my heart.
923I tried to picture it there in the left side of my breast and to listen carefully to its
924beating. I started doing this several times a day, for half an hour at a time, and at first
925I felt nothing but a sense of darkness. But little by little after a fairly short time I was
926able to picture my heart and to note its movement, and further with the help of my
927breathing I could put into it and draw from it the prayer of Jesus in the manner taught
928by the saints, Gregory of Sinai, Callistus, and Ignatius. When drawing the air in I
929looked in spirit into my heart and said, "Lord Jesus Christ," and when breathing out
930again, I said, "Have mercy on me." I did this at first for an hour at a time, then for two
931hours, then for as long as I could, and in the end almost all day long. If any difficulty
932arose, if sloth or doubt came upon me, I hastened to take up The Philokalia and read
933again those parts which dealt with the work of the heart, and then once more I felt
934ardor and zeal for the prayer.
935
93628:
937
938When about three weeks had passed I felt a pain in my heart, and then a most
939delightful warmth, as well as consolation and peace. This aroused me still more and
940spurred me on more and more to give great care to the saying of the prayer so that
941all my thoughts were taken up with it and I felt a very great joy. From this time I
942began to have from time to time a number of different feelings in my heart and mind.
943Sometimes my heart would feel as though it were bubbling with joy; such lightness,
944freedom, and consolation were in it. Sometimes I felt a burning love for Jesus Christ
945and for all God's creatures. Sometimes my eyes brimmed over with tears of
946thankfulness to God, who was so merciful to me, a wretched sinner. Sometimes my
947understanding, which had been so stupid before, was given so much light that I could
948easily grasp and dwell upon matters of which up to now I had not been able even to
949think at all. Sometimes that sense of a warm gladness in my heart spread throughout
950my whole being and I was deeply moved as the fact of the presence of God
951everywhere was brought home to me. Sometimes by calling upon the name of Jesus
952I was overwhelmed with bliss, and now I knew the meaning of the words "The
953kingdom of God is within you."
954
955From having all these and other like feelings I noted that interior prayer bears fruit in
956three ways: in the spirit, in the feelings, and in revelations. In the first, for instance, is
957the sweetness of the love of God, inward peace, gladness of mind, purity of thought,
958and the sweet remembrance of God. In the second, the pleasant warmth of the heart,
959fullness of delight in all one's limbs, the joyous "bubbling" in the heart, lightness and
960courage, the joy of living, power not to feel sickness and sorrow. And in the last, light
961given to the mind, understanding of holy Scripture, knowledge of the speech of
962created things, freedom from fuss and vanity, knowledge of the joy of the inner life,
963and finally certainty of the nearness of God and of His love for us.
964
965After spending five months in this lonely life of prayer and such happiness as this, I
966grew so used to the prayer that I went on with it all the time. In the end I felt it going
967on of its own accord within my mind and in the depths of my heart, without any urging
968on my part. Not only when I was awake, but even during sleep, just the same thing
969went on. Nothing broke into it, and it never stopped even for a single moment,
970
97129
972
973whatever I might be doing. My soul was always giving thanks to God and my heart
974melted away with unceasing happiness.
975
976The time came for the wood to be felled. People began to come along in crowds, and
977I had to leave my quiet dwelling. I thanked the forester, said some prayers, kissed the
978bit of the earth which God had deigned to give me, unworthy of His mercy as I was,
979shouldered my bag of books, and set off.
980
981For a very long while I wandered about in different places until I reached Irkutsk. The
982self-acting prayer in my heart was a comfort and consolation all the way; whatever I
983met with it never ceased to gladden me, though it did so to different degrees at
984different times. Wherever I was, whatever I did or gave myself up to, it never
985hindered things, nor was hindered by them. If I am working at anything the prayer
986goes on by itself in my heart, and the work gets on faster. If I am listening carefully to
987anything, or reading, the prayer never stops; at one and the same time I am aware of
988both just as if I were made into two people, or as if there were two souls in my one
989body. Lord! what a mysterious thing man is! "How manifold are thy works, O Lord! In
990wisdom hast thou made them all."
991
992All sorts of things and many strange adventures happened to me as I went on my
993way. If I were to start telling them all, I should not end in twenty-four hours. Thus, for
994example, one winter evening as I was going alone through the forest toward a village
995which I could see about a mile away, and where I was to spend the night, a great wolf
996suddenly came in sight and made for me. I had in my hand my starets's woolen
997rosary, which I always carried with me. I struck at the animal with that. Well, the
998rosary was torn out of my hands and got twisted round the wolf's neck. He leapt away
999from me, but in jumping through a thorn bush he got his hind paws caught. The
1000rosary also caught on a bough of a dead tree and he began dashing himself about,
1001but he could not free himself because the rosary was tightening round his throat. I
1002crossed myself in faith and went forward to free him, chiefly because I was afraid that
1003if he tore my rosary away and ran off with it, I should lose my precious rosary. And
1004sure enough, as soon as I got hold of the rosary the wolf snapped it and fled without
1005
100630:
1007
1008leaving a trace. I thanked God, with my blessed starets in mind, and I came safe and
1009sound to the village, where I asked for a night's lodging at an inn.
1010
1011I went into the house. Two men, one of them old and the other middle-aged and
1012heavily built, were sitting at a table in a corner drinking tea. They looked as though
1013they were not just simple folk, and I asked the peasant who was with their horses
1014who they were. He told me that the elder of the two was a teacher at an elementary
1015school, and the other the clerk of the county court. They were both people of the
1016better class. He was driving them to a fair about a dozen miles away. After sitting a
1017while, I asked the hostess to lend me a needle and thread, came over into the
1018candlelight, and set about mending my broken rosary.
1019
1020The clerk watched what I was doing and said, "I suppose you have been praying so
1021hard that your rosary broke?"
1022
1023"It was not I who broke it," I answered, "it was a wolf."
1024
1025"What! A wolf? Do wolves say their prayers, too?" said he jokingly. I told them all
1026that had happened, and how precious the rosary was to me. The clerk laughed
1027again, saying, "Miracles are always happening with you sham saints! What was there
1028sacred about a thing like that? The simple fact was that you brandished something at
1029the wolf and he was frightened and went off. Of course, dogs and wolves take fright
1030at the gesture of throwing, and getting caught on a tree is common enough. That sort
1031of thing very often happens. Where is the miracle?"
1032
1033But the old man answered him thus: "Do not jump to conclusions like that, sir. You
1034miss the deeper aspects of the incident. For my part I see in this peasant's story the
1035mystery of nature, both sensuous and spiritual."
1036
1037"How's that?" asked the clerk.
1038
1039"Well, like this. Although you have not received the highest education, you have,
1040of course, learned the sacred history of the Old and New Testaments, as
1041summarized in the questions and answers used at school. You remember that when
1042our father Adam was still in a state of holy innocence all the animals were obedient to
1043him. They approached him in fear and received from him their names. The old man to
1044whom this rosary belonged was a saint. Now what is the meaning of sanctity? For the
1045
104631
1047
1048sinner it means nothing else than a return through effort and discipline to the state of
1049innocence of the first man. When the soul is made holy the body becomes holy also.
1050The rosary had always been in the hands of a sanctified person; the effect of the
1051contact of his hands and the exhalation of his body was to inoculate it with holy
1052power—the power of the first man's innocence. That is the mystery of spiritual nature!
1053All animals in natural succession down to the present time have experienced this
1054power, and they experience it through smelling, for in all animals the nose is the chief
1055organ of sensation. That is the mystery of sensuous nature!"
1056
1057"You learned people go on about strength and wisdom," said the clerk, "but we
1058take things more simply. Fill up a glass of vodka and tip it off; that will give you
1059strength enough." And he went over to the cupboard.
1060
1061"That's your business," said the schoolmaster, "but please leave learning to us!"
1062
1063I liked the way he spoke, and I came up closer to him and said, "May I venture,
1064Father, to tell you a little more about my starets?" And so I told him about the
1065appearance of my starets while I was asleep, the teaching he had given me, and the
1066charcoal mark which he had made in The Philokalia. He listened with care to what I
1067told him, but the clerk, who lay stretched out on a bench, muttered, "It's true enough
1068you can lose your wits through reading the Bible too much. That's what it is! Do you
1069suppose a bogeyman comes and marks your books at night? You simply let the book
1070drop on the ground yourself while you were asleep, and some soot made a dirty mark
1071on it. There's your miracle! Eh, you tricksters, I've come across plenty of your
1072kidney!" Muttering this sort of thing, the clerk rolled over with his face to the wall and
1073went to sleep. So I turned to the schoolmaster, saying, "If I may, I will show you the
1074actual book. Look, it is really marked, not just dirtied with soot." I took it out of my
1075knapsack and showed him. "What surprises me," said I, "is how a spirit without a
1076body could have picked up a piece of charcoal and written with it." He looked at the
1077mark and said, "This also is a spiritual mystery. I will explain it to you. Look here now,
1078when spirits appear in a bodily form to a living person, they compose themselves a
1079body which can be felt, from the air and the world-stuff, and later on give back to the
1080elements again what they had borrowed from them. Just as the atmosphere
1081possesses elasticity, a power to contract and expand, so the soul, clothed in it, can
1082take up anything, and act, and write. But what is this book of yours? Let me have a
1083
108432
1085
1086look at it." He began to look at it and it opened at the sermons of St. Simeon the new
1087theologian. "Ah, this must be a theological work. I have never seen it before," he said.
1088
1089"It is almost wholly made up," I told him, "of teaching on interior prayer of the
1090heart in the name of Jesus Christ. It is set forth here in full detail by twenty-five holy
1091Fathers."
1092
1093"Ah, I know something of interior prayer," he answered.
1094
1095I bowed before him, down to the very ground, and begged him to speak to me
1096about interior prayer.
1097
1098"Well, it says in the New Testament that man and all creation 'are subject to
1099vanity, not willingly,' and sigh with effort and desire to enter into the liberty of the
1100children of God. The mysterious sighing of creation, the innate aspiration of every
1101soul toward God, that is exactly what interior prayer is. There is no need to learn it, it
1102is innate in every one of us!" "But what is one to do to find it in oneself, to feel it in
1103one's heart, to acknowledge it by one's will, to take it and feel the happiness and light
1104of it, and so to reach salvation?" I asked.
1105
1106"I don't know whether there is anything on the subject in theological books," said
1107
1108he.
1109
1110"Well, here it is. It is all explained here," I answered, showing him my book again.
1111The schoolmaster noted the title and said he would certainly have one sent from
1112Tobolsk and study it. After that we went our different ways. I thanked God for this talk
1113with the schoolmaster and prayed that God would so order things that the clerk also
1114might read The Philokalia, even if only once, and let him find salvation through it.
1115
1116Another time—it was in spring—I passed through a village where I stayed with the
1117priest. He was a worthy man, living alone, and I spent three days with him. Having
1118watched me for that length of time, he said to me, "Stay here. I will pay you
1119something. I need a trustworthy man; as you see, we are starting to build a stone
1120church here near the old wooden chapel, and I have been looking for some honest
1121person to keep an eye on the workmen and stay in the chapel in charge of the
1122offerings for the building fund. It is exactly the thing for you and would just suit your
1123way of life. You will be alone in the chapel and say your prayers. There is a quiet little
1124room for a verger there. Please stay, at any rate until the building is finished."
1125
112633
1127
1128For a long while I refused, but in the end I had to yield to the good priest's
1129begging, and I stayed there till the autumn, taking up my abode in the chapel. At first
1130I found it quiet and apt for prayer, although a great many people came to the chapel,
1131especially on holidays, some to say their prayers, some because they were bored,
1132and others again with the idea of pilfering from the collection plate. I read my Bible
1133and my Philokalia every evening, and some of them saw this and started talking to
1134me about it or asked me to read aloud.
1135
1136After a while I noticed that a young village girl often came to the chapel and spent
1137a long while in prayer. Listening to her whisperings, I found that the prayers she was
1138saying were some of them strange to me, and others the usual prayers in a garbled
1139form. I asked her where she learned such things, and she told me it was from her
1140mother, who was a churchwoman, but that her father belonged to a sect which had
1141no priesthood. Feeling sorry for her, I advised her to read her prayers in the right form
1142as given by the tradition of holy church. Then I taught her the right wording of the
1143Lord's Prayer and of the Hail Mary, and finally I advised her to say the prayer of
1144Jesus as often as she could, for that brought one nearer to God than any other
1145prayer. The girl took note of what I said and set about it quite simply. And what
1146happened? A short time afterward she told me that she was so used to the prayer
1147that she felt it draw her all the time, that she used it as much as she could, that she
1148enjoyed the prayer at the time, and that afterward she was filled with gladness and a
1149wish to begin using it again. I was glad of this and advised her to go on with it more
1150and more.
1151
1152Summer was drawing to a close. Many visitors to the chapel came to see me
1153also, not only to be read to and to ask for advice, but with all sorts of worldly troubles,
1154and even to ask about things they had mislaid or lost. Some of them seemed to take
1155me for a wizard. The girl I spoke about also came to me one day in a state of great
1156distress and worry, not knowing what to do. Her father wanted to make her marry a
1157man of his own religion, and they were to be married not by a priest but by a mere
1158peasant belonging to the same sect. "How could that be a lawful marriage—wouldn't
1159it be the same thing as fornication?" cried the girl. She had made up her mind to run
1160away somewhere or other.
1161
116234:
1163
1164"But," said I, "where to? They would be sure to find you again. They will look
1165everywhere, and you won't be able to hide anywhere from them. You had better pray
1166earnestly to God to turn your father from his purpose and to guard your soul from sin
1167and heresy. That is a much sounder plan than running away."
1168
1169Thus time passed away, and all this noise and fuss began to be more than I could
1170bear, and at last at the end of summer I made up my mind to leave the chapel and go
1171on with my pilgrimage as before. I told the priest what was in my mind, saying, "You
1172know my plans, Father. I must have quiet for prayer, and here it is very disturbing and
1173bad for me, and I have spent the whole summer here. Now let me go, and give your
1174blessing on my lonely journey."
1175
1176But the priest did not want to let me go and tried to get me to stay. "What is there
1177to hinder your praying here? Your work is nothing to speak of, beyond stopping in the
1178chapel. You have your daily bread. Say your prayers then all day and all night if you
1179like, and live with God. You are useful here, you don't go in for silly gossip with the
1180people who come here, you are a source of profit to the church. All that is worth more
1181in God's sight than your prayers all by yourself. Why do you always want to be
1182alone? Common prayer is pleasanter. God did not create man to think of himself
1183only, but that men should help each other and lead each other along the path to
1184salvation, each according to his strength. Think of the saints and the fathers of the
1185church! They bustled about day and night, they cared for the needs of the church,
1186they used to preach all over the place. They didn't sit down alone and hide
1187themselves from people."
1188
1189"Everyone has his own gift from God," I answered. "There have been many
1190preachers, Father, but there have also been many hermits. Everyone does what he
1191can, as he sees his own path, with the thought that God Himself shows him the way
1192of his salvation. How do you get over the fact that many of the saints gave up their
1193positions as bishops or priests or the rule of a monastery and went into the desert to
1194get away from the fuss which comes from living with other people? St. Isaac the
1195Syrian, for instance, fled from the flock whose bishop he was, and the venerable
1196Athanasius of Athos left his large monastery just because to them these places were
1197a source of temptation, and they sincerely believed our Lord's saying, 'What shall it
1198profit a man if he gains the whole world and lose his own soul?'"
1199
120035:
1201
1202"Ah, but they were saints," said the priest.
1203
1204"And if," I answered, "the very saints took steps to guard themselves from the
1205dangers of mingling with people, what else, I ask you, can a feeble sinner do?"
1206
1207So in the end I said good-bye to this good priest, and he, out of the love in his
1208heart, set me on my way.
1209
1210Some half-dozen miles farther on, I stopped for the night at a village. At the inn
1211there I found a peasant hopelessly ill, and I advised those who were with him to see
1212that he had the last sacraments. They agreed, and toward morning sent for the parish
1213priest. I stayed there too, because I wanted to worship and pray in the presence of
1214the holy gifts, and going out into the street, sat down on the zavalina5 to wait for the
1215priest to come. All at once I was astonished to see running toward me from the
1216backyard the girl who used to pray in the chapel.
1217
1218"What brings you here?" I asked.
1219"They had fixed the day of my betrothal to the man I told you of, so I left them." And
1220kneeling before me she went on. "Have pity on me: take me with you and put me into
1221some convent or other. I don't want to be married, I want to live in a convent and say
1222the Jesus Prayer. They will listen to you and take me."
1223
1224"Goodness!" I exclaimed, "And where am I to take you to? I don't know a single
1225convent in this neighborhood. Besides, I can't take you anywhere without a passport.
1226For one thing, you wouldn't be taken in anywhere, and for another it would be quite
1227impossible for you to hide nowadays. You would be caught at once and sent home
1228again and punished as a tramp into the bargain. You had far better go home and say
1229your prayers there. And if you don't want to marry, make out you are ill. The holy
1230mother Clementa did that, and so did the venerable Marina when she took refuge in
1231a men's convent. There are many other cases of the same thing. It is called a saving
1232pretense."
1233
1234While all this was happening and we sat talking the matter over, we saw four men
1235driving up the road with a pair of horses and coming straight toward us at a gallop.
1236They seized the girl and put her in the cart, and one of them drove off with her. The
1237other three tied my hands together and haled me back to the village where I had
1238spent the summer. Their only reply to everything I said for myself was to shout, "We'll
1239teach the little saint to seduce young girls!"
1240
124136:
1242
1243That evening they brought me to the village court, put my feet in irons, and lodged
1244me in jail to await my trial in the morning. The priest heard that I was in prison and
1245came to see me. He brought me some supper and comforted me, saying that he
1246would do what he could for me and give his word as a spiritual father that I was not
1247the sort of person they thought. After sitting with me for a while he went away.
1248
1249The magistrate came late in the evening, driving through the village on his way to
1250somewhere else, and stopped at the deputy's house, where they told him what hat
1251happened. He bade the peasants come together, and had me brought to the house
1252which was used as a court. We went in and stood waiting. In comes the magistrate,
1253blustering, and sits down on the table with his hat on. "Hi! Epiphan," he shouts, "did
1254the girl, this daughter of yours, run off with anything from your house?"
1255
1256"No, sir, nothing," was the answer.
1257
1258"Has she been found out doing anything wrong with that fool there?"
1259
1260"No, sir."
1261
1262"Well then, this is my decision and my judgment in the matter: you deal with your
1263daughter yourself, and as for this fellow we will teach him a lesson tomorrow and
1264throw him out of the village, with strict orders never to show his face here again. So
1265that's that."
1266
1267So saying, he got down from the table and went off to bed, while I was taken back
1268to jail. Early in the morning two country policemen came, flogged me, and drove me
1269out of the village. I went off thanking God that He counted me worthy to suffer for His
1270name. This comforted me and gave still more warmth and glow to my ceaseless
1271interior prayer. None of these things made me feel at all cast down. It was as though
1272they happened to someone else and I merely watched them. Even the flogging was
1273within my power to bear. The prayer brought sweetness into my heart and made me
1274unaware, so to speak, of everything else.
1275
1276A mile or two farther on I met the girl's mother, coming home from market with
1277what she had bought.
1278
1279Seeing me, she told me that the son-in-law to be had withdrawn his suit. "You see,
1280he is annoyed with Akulka for having run away from him." Then she gave me some
1281bread and patties, and I went on my way.
1282
128337:
1284
1285The weather was fine and dry and I had no wish to spend the night in a village. So
1286when I came upon two fenced-in haystacks as I went through the forest that evening,
1287I lay down beneath them for a night's lodging. I fell asleep and dreamed that I was
1288walking along and reading a chapter of St. Anthony the Great from The Philokalia.
1289Suddenly my starets overtook me and said, "Don't read that, read this," and pointed
1290to these words in the thirty- fifth chapter of St. John Karpathisky: "A teacher submits
1291at times to ignominy and endures pain for the sake of his spiritual children." And
1292again he made me note in the forty-first chapter, "Those who give themselves most
1293earnestly to prayer, it is they who become the prey of terrible and violent
1294temptations." Then he said, "Take courage and do not be downcast. Remember the
1295Apostle's words, 'Greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world.' You see that
1296you have now had experience of the truth that no temptation is beyond man's
1297strength to resist, and that with the temptation God makes also a way of escape.
1298Reliance upon this divine help has strengthened holy men of prayer and led them on
1299to greater zeal and ardor. They not only devoted their own lives to ceaseless prayer,
1300but also out of the love of their hearts revealed it and taught it to others as
1301opportunity occurred. St. Gregory of Thessalonika speaks of this as follows: 'Not only
1302should we ourselves in accordance with God's will pray unceasingly in the name of
1303Jesus Christ, but we are bound to reveal it and teach it to others, to everyone in
1304general, religious and secular, learned and simple, men, women, and children, and to
1305inspire them all with zeal for prayer without ceasing.' In the same way the venerable
1306Callistus Telicudes says, 'One ought not to keep thoughts about God (i.e., interior
1307prayer) and what is learned by contemplation, and the means of raising the soul on
1308high, simply in one's own mind, but one should make notes of it, put it into writing for
1309general use and with a loving motive.' And the Scriptures say in this connection,
1310'Brother is helped by brother like a strong and lofty city' (Prov. 18:19). Only in this
1311case it is above all things necessary to avoid self-praise and to take care that the
1312seed of divine teaching is not sown to the wind."
1313
1314I woke up feeling great joy in my heart and strength in my soul, and I went on my
1315way.
1316
1317A long while after this something else happened, which also I will tell you about if
1318you like. One day—it was the 24th of March to be exact—I felt a very urgent wish to
1319
132038:
1321
1322make my communion the next day—that is, on the feast of the annunciation of our
1323Lady. I asked whether the church was far away and was told it was about twenty
1324miles. So I walked for the rest of that day and all the next night in order to get there in
1325time for matins. The weather was as bad as it could be—it snowed and rained, there
1326was a strong wind, and it was very cold. On my way I had to cross a small stream,
1327and just as I got to the middle the ice gave way under my feet and I was plunged into
1328the water up to my waist. Drenched like this, I came to matins and stood through it,
1329and also through the liturgy which followed, and at which by God's grace I made my
1330communion. In order to spend the day quietly and without spoiling my spiritual
1331happiness, I begged the verger to allow me to stay in his little room until the next
1332morning. I was more happy than I can tell all that day, and my heart was full of joy. I
1333lay on the plank bed in that unheated room as though I were resting on Abraham's
1334bosom. The prayer was very active. The love of Jesus Christ and of the Mother of
1335God seemed to surge into my heart in waves of sweetness and steep my soul in
1336consolation and triumph. At nightfall I was seized with violent rheumatic pains in my
1337legs, and that brought to my mind that they were soaking wet. I took no notice of it
1338and set my heart the more to my prayer, so that I no longer felt the pain. In the
1339morning when I wanted to get up I found that I could not move my legs. They were
1340quite paralyzed and as feeble as bits of string. The verger dragged me down off the
1341bed by main force. And so there I sat for two days without moving. On the third day
1342the verger set about turning me out of his room, "for," said he, "supposing you die
1343here, what a fuss there will be!" With the greatest of difficulty I somehow or other
1344crawled along on my arms and dragged myself to the steps of the church, and lay
1345there. And there I stayed like that for a couple of days. The people who went by
1346passed me without taking the slightest notice either of me or of my pleadings. In the
1347end a peasant came up to me and sat down and talked. And after a while he asked,
1348"What will you give me if I cure you? I had just exactly the same thing once, so I
1349know a medicine for it."
1350
1351"I have nothing to give you," I answered.
1352
1353"But what have you got in your bag?"
1354
1355"Only dried bread and some books."
1356
1357"Well, what about working for me just for one summer, if I cure you?"
1358
135939
1360
1361"I can't do any work; as you see, I have only the use of one arm, the other is
1362almost entirely withered."
1363
1364"Then what can you do?"
1365
1366"Nothing, beyond the fact that I can read and write."
1367
1368"Ah! write! Well, teach my little boy to write. He can read a little, and I want him to be
1369able to write too. But it costs such a lot—they want twenty rubles to teach him."
1370
1371I agreed to this, and with the verger's help he carried me away and put me in an
1372old empty bathhouse in his backyard.
1373
1374Then he set about curing me. And this was his method: He picked up from the floors,
1375the yards, the cesspools, the best part of a bushel of various sorts of putrid bones,
1376bones of cattle, of birds—all sorts. He washed them, broke them up small with a
1377stone, and put them into a great earthen pot. This he covered with a lid which had a
1378small hole in it and placed upside down on an empty jar sunk in the ground. He
1379smeared the upper pot with a thick coating of clay, and making a pile of wood round
1380it, he set fire to this and kept it burning for more than twenty-four hours, saying as he
1381fed the fire, "Now we'll get some tar from the bones." Next day, when he took the
1382lower jar out of the ground, there had dripped into it through the hole in the lid of the
1383other jar about a pint of thick, reddish, oily liquid, with a strong smell, like living raw
1384meat. As for the bones left in the jar, from being black and putrid they had become
1385white and clean and transparent like mother-of-pearl. I rubbed my legs with this liquid
1386five times a day. And lo and behold, twenty-four hours later I found I could move my
1387toes; another day and I could bend my legs and straighten them again. On the fifth
1388day I stood on my feet, and with the help of a stick walked about the yard. In a word,
1389in a week's time my legs had become fully as strong as they were before. I thanked
1390God and mused upon the mysterious power which He has given His creatures. Dry,
1391putrid bones, almost brought to dust, yet keeping such vital force, color, smell, power
1392of acting on living bodies, and as it were giving life to bodies that are half dead! It is a
1393pledge of the future resurrection of the body. How I would like to point this out to that
1394forester with whom I lived, in view of his doubts about the general resurrection!
1395
1396Having in this way got better from my illness, I began to teach the boy. Instead of
1397the usual copybook work, he wrote out the prayer of Jesus. I made him copy it,
1398
139940:
1400
1401showing him how to set out the words nicely. I found teaching the lad restful, for
1402during the daytime he worked for the steward of an estate nearby and could only
1403come to me while the steward slept, that is, from daybreak till the liturgy.
1404
1405He was a bright boy and soon began to write fairly well. His employer saw him
1406writing and asked him who had taught him.
1407
1408"A one-armed pilgrim who lives in our old bathhouse," said the boy.
1409
1410The steward, who was a Pole, was interested, and came to have a look at me. He
1411found me reading The Philokalia and started a talk by asking what I was reading. I
1412showed him the book. "Ah," said he, "that's The Philokalia. I've seen the book before
1413at our priest's6 when I lived at Vilna. They tell me, however, that it contains odd sorts
1414of schemes and tricks for prayer written down by the Greek monks. It's like those
1415fanatics in India and Bokhara who sit down and blow themselves out trying to get a
1416sort of tickling in their hearts, and in their stupidity take this bodily feeling for prayer,
1417and look upon it as the gift of God. All that is necessary to fulfill one's duty to God is
1418to pray simply, to stand and say the Our Father as Christ taught us. That puts you
1419right for the whole day; but not to go on over and over again to the same tune. That,
1420if I may say so, is enough to drive you mad. Besides, it's bad for your heart."
1421
1422"Don't think in that way about this holy book, sir," I answered. "It was not written
1423by simple Greek monks, but by great and very holy men of olden times, men whom
1424your church honors also, such as Anthony the Great, Macarius the Great, Mark the
1425spiritual athlete, John Chrysostom, and others. It was from them that the monks of
1426India and Bokhara took over the 'heart method' of interior prayer, only they quite
1427spoiled and garbled it in doing so, as my starets explained to me. In The Philokalia all
1428the teaching about the practice of prayer in the heart is taken from the Word of God,
1429from the Holy Bible, in which the same Jesus Christ who bade us say the Our Father
1430taught also ceaseless prayer in the heart. For He said, 'Thou shalt love the Lord thy
1431God with all thy heart and with all thy mind,' 'Watch and pray,' Abide in Me and I in
1432you.' And the holy Fathers, calling to witness the holy King David's words in the
1433Psalms, 'O taste and see how gracious the Lord is,' explain the passage thus: the
1434Christian man ought to use every possible means of seeking and finding, delight in
1435prayer and ceaselessly to look for consolation in it, and not be content with simply
1436saying 'Our Father' once a day. Let me read to you how these saints blame those
1437
143841
1439
1440who do not strive to reach the gladness of the prayer of the heart. They write that
1441such do wrong for three reasons: firstly, because they show themselves against the
1442Scriptures inspired by God, and secondly, because they do not set before
1443themselves a higher and more perfect state of soul to be reached. They are content
1444with outward virtues only, and cannot hunger and thirst for the truth, and therefore
1445miss the blessedness and joy in the Lord. Thirdly, because by letting their mind dwell
1446upon themselves and their own outward virtues they often slip into temptation and
1447pride, and so fall away."
1448
1449"It is sublime, what you are reading," said the steward, "but it's hardly for us
1450ordinary layfolk, I think!"
1451
1452"Well, I will read you something simpler, about how people of goodwill, even if
1453living in the world, may learn how to pray without ceasing."
1454
1455I found the sermon on George the youth, by Simeon the new theologian, and read
1456it to him from The Philokalia.
1457
1458This pleased him, and he said, "Give me that book to read at my leisure, and I will
1459have a good look into it some time."
1460
1461"I will let you have it for twenty-four hours with pleasure," I answered, "but not for
1462longer, because I read it every day, and I just can't live without it."
1463
1464"Well then, at least copy out for me what you have just read. I will pay you for your
1465trouble."
1466
1467"I don't want payment," said I. "I will write that out for you for love's sake and in
1468the hope that God will give you a longing for prayer."
1469
1470I at once and with pleasure made a copy of the sermon I had read. He read it to
1471his wife, and both of them were pleased with it. And so it came about that at times
1472they would send for me, and I would go, taking The Philokalia with me, and read to
1473them while they sat drinking tea and listening. Once they asked me to stay to dinner.
1474The steward's wife, who was a kindly old lady, was sitting with us at table eating
1475some fried fish when by some mischance she got a bone lodged in her throat.
1476Nothing we could do gave her any relief, and nothing would move the bone. Her
1477throat gave her so much pain that a couple of hours later she had to go and lie down.
1478The doctor (who lived twenty miles away) was sent for, and as by this time it was
1479evening, I went home, feeling very sorry for her.
1480
148142
1482
1483That night, while I was sleeping lightly, I heard my starets's voice. I saw no figure, but
1484I heard him say to me, "The man you are living with cured you, why then do you not
1485help the steward's wife? God has bidden us feel for our neighbor."
1486
1487"I would help her gladly," I answered, "but how? I know no means whatever."
1488
1489"Well, this is what you must do: From her very earliest years she has had a dislike
1490of oil. She not only will not taste it, but cannot bear even the smell of it without being
1491sick. So make her drink a spoonful of oil. It will make her vomit, the bone will come
1492away, the oil will soothe the sore the bone has made in her throat, and she will be
1493well again."
1494
1495"And how am I to give it her, if she dislikes it so? She will refuse to drink it."
1496
1497"Get the steward to hold her head, and pour it suddenly into her mouth, even if
1498you have to use force."
1499
1500I woke up, and went straight off and told the steward all this in detail. "What good
1501can your oil do now?" said he. "She is hoarse and delirious, and her neck is all
1502swollen."
1503
1504"Well, at any rate, let us try; even if it doesn't help, oil is at least harmless as a
1505medicine."
1506
1507He poured some into a wineglass, and somehow or other we got her to swallow it.
1508She was violently sick at once, and soon vomited up the bone and some blood. She
1509began to feel easier and fell into a deep sleep. In the morning I went to ask after her
1510and found her sitting quietly taking her tea. Both she and her husband were full of
1511wonder at the way she had been cured, and even greater than that was their surprise
1512that her dislike of oil had been told me in a dream, for apart from themselves, not a
1513soul knew of the fact. Just then the doctor also drove up, and the steward told him
1514what had happened to his wife, and I in my turn told him how the peasant had cured
1515my legs. The doctor listened to it all and then said, "Neither the one case nor the
1516other is greatly to be wondered at—it is the same natural force which operated in
1517both cases. Still, I shall make a note of it." And he took out a pencil and wrote in his
1518notebook.
1519
1520After this the report quickly spread through the whole neighborhood that I was a
1521prophet and a doctor and wizard. There began a ceaseless stream of visitors from all
1522
152343
1524
1525parts to bring their affairs and their troubles to my notice. They brought me presents
1526and began to treat me with respect and to look after my comfort. I bore this for a
1527week, and then, fearing I should fall into vainglory and harmful distractions, I left the
1528place in secret by night.
1529
1530Thus once more I set out on my lonely way, feeling as light as if a great weight
1531had been taken off my shoulders. The prayer comforted me more and more, so that
1532at times my heart bubbled over with boundless love for Jesus Christ, and from my
1533delight in this, streams of consolation seemed to flow through my whole being. The
1534remembrance of Jesus Christ was so stamped upon my mind that as I dwelt upon the
1535Gospel story I seemed to see its events before my very eyes. I was moved even to
1536tears of joy, and sometimes felt such gladness in my heart that I am at a loss even
1537how to tell of it.
1538
1539It happened at times that for three days together I came upon no human dwelling,
1540and in the uplifting of my spirit I felt as though I were alone on the earth, one
1541wretched sinner before the merciful and man-loving God. This sense of being alone
1542was a comfort to me, and it made me feel my delight in prayer much more than when
1543I was mixing with a crowd of people.
1544
1545At length I reached Irkutsk. When I had prayed before the relics of St. Innocent, I
1546began to wonder where I should go now. I did not want to stay there for a long while,
1547it was a town in which many people lived. I was walking thoughtfully along the street
1548when I came upon a certain merchant belonging to the place. He stopped me,
1549saying, "Are you a pilgrim? Why not come home with me?" We went off together and
1550he took me into his richly furnished house and asked me about myself. I told him all
1551about my travels, and then he said, "You ought to go on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem—
1552there are shrines there the like of which are not to be found anywhere else!"
1553
1554"I should be only too glad to do so," I answered, "but I haven't the money. I can
1555get along on dry land till I come to the sea, but I have no means of paying for a sea
1556voyage, and it takes a good deal of money."
1557
1558"How would you like me to find the money for you? I have already sent one of our
1559townsfolk there, an old man, last year," said the merchant.
1560
1561I fell at his feet, and he went on to say, "Listen, I will give you a letter to my son at
1562Odessa. He lives there and has business connections with Constantinople. He will be
1563
156444:
1565
1566pleased to give you a passage on one of the vessels to Constantinople, and to tell his
1567agents there to book a passage to Jerusalem for you on another boat, and pay for it.
1568That is not so very expensive."
1569
1570I was overcome with joy when I heard this and thanked my benefactor for his
1571kindness. Even more did I thank God for showing me such fatherly love, and for His
1572care for me, a wretched sinner, who did no good either to himself or to anyone else,
1573and ate the bread of others in idleness. I stayed three days with this kindly merchant.
1574As he had promised, he wrote me a letter to his son, so here I am now on my way to
1575Odessa planning to go on till I reach Jerusalem. But I do not know whether the Lord
1576will allow me to venerate His life-giving tomb.
1577
1578JUST BEFORE leaving Irkutsk, I went to see my spiritual father, with whom I had so
1579often talked, and I said to him, "Here I am actually off to Jerusalem. I have come to
1580say good-bye, and to thank you for your love for me in Christ, unworthy pilgrim as I
1581am."
1582
1583"May God bless your journey," he replied. "But how is it that you have never told
1584me about yourself, who you are, nor where you come from? I have heard a great deal
1585about your travels, and I should be interested to know something about your birth
1586and your life before you became a pilgrim."
1587
1588"Why, very gladly," I answered. "I will tell you all about that also. It's not a very
1589lengthy matter.
1590
1591"I was born in a village in the government of Orel. After the death of our parents,
1592there were just the two of us left, my brother and I. He was ten years old and I was
1593two. We were adopted by our grandfather, a worthy old man and comfortably off. He
1594kept an inn which stood on the main road, and thanks to his sheer goodness of heart
1595a lot of travelers put up there. My brother, who was a madcap child, spent most of his
1596time running about in the village, but for my part I liked better to stay near my
1597grandfather. On Sundays and festivals we used to go to church together, and at
1598home my grandfather often used to read the Bible, this very Bible here, which now
1599belongs to me. When my brother grew up he took to drink. Once when I was seven
1600years old and we were both of us lying down on the stove, he pushed me so hard
1601that I fell off and hurt my left arm, so that I have never been able to use it since; it is
1602
160345:
1604
1605all withered up. My grandfather saw that I should never be fit to work on the land and
1606taught me to read. As we had no spelling book, he did so from this Bible. He pointed
1607out the A's, and made me form words and learn to know the letters when I saw them.
1608I scarcely know how myself, but somehow, by saying things after him over and over
1609again, I learned to read in the course of time. And later on, when my grandfather's
1610sight grew weak, he often made me read the Bible aloud to him, and he corrected me
1611as he listened. There was a certain clerk who often came to our inn. He wrote a good
1612hand and I liked watching him write. I copied his writing, and he began to teach me.
1613He gave me paper and ink, he made me quill pens, and so I learned to write also.
1614Grandfather was very pleased and charged me thus, 'God has granted you the gift of
1615learning; it will make a man of you. Give thanks to God, and pray very often.'
1616
1617"We used to attend all the services at church and we often had prayers at home.
1618It was always my part to read the fifty-first psalm, and while I did so grandfather and
1619grandmother made their prostrations or knelt. When I was seventeen I lost my
1620grandmother. Then grandfather said to me, 'This house of ours no longer has a
1621mistress, and that is not well. Your brother is a worthless fellow. I am going to look for
1622a wife for you; you must get married.' I was against the idea, saying that I was a
1623cripple, but my grandfather would not give way. He found a worthy and sensible
1624young girl about twenty years of age, and I married her. A year later my grandfather
1625fell very ill. Knowing that his death was near, he called for me and bade me farewell,
1626saying, 'I leave you my house and all I have. Obey your conscience, deceive no one,
1627and above all pray to God; everything comes from Him. Trust in Him only. Go to
1628church regularly, read your Bible, and remember me and your grandmother in your
1629prayers. Here is my money, that also I give you; there is a thousand rubles. Take
1630care of it. Do not waste it, but do not be miserly either; give some of it to the poor and
1631to God's church.' After this he died, and I buried him.
1632
1633"My brother grew envious because the property had been left wholly to me. His
1634anger against me grew, and the enemy prompted him in this to such an extent that
1635he even laid plans to kill me. In the end this is what he did one night while we were
1636asleep and no guests were in the house. He broke into the room where the money
1637was kept, stole the money from a chest, and then set fire to the room. The fire had
1638got a hold upon the whole building before we knew of it, and we only just escaped by
1639
164046:
1641
1642jumping out of a window in our nightclothes. The Bible was lying under our pillow, so
1643we snatched it up and took it with us. As we watched our house burning we said to
1644one another, 'Thank God, the Bible is saved, that at least is some consolation in our
1645grief.' So everything we had was burnt, and my brother went off without a trace. Later
1646on we heard that when he was in his cups he boasted of the fact that he had taken
1647the money and burnt the house.
1648
1649"We were left naked and ruined, absolutely beggars. We borrowed some money
1650as best we could, built a little hut, and took up the life of landless peasants. My wife
1651was clever with her hands. She knitted, spun, and sewed. People gave her jobs, and
1652day and night she worked and kept me. Owing to the uselessness of my arm I could
1653not even make bark shoes. She would do her knitting and spinning, and I would sit
1654beside her and read the Bible. She would listen and sometimes begin to cry. When I
1655asked, 'What are you crying about? At least we are alive, thank God!' she would
1656answer, 'It touches me so, that beautiful writing in the Bible.'
1657
1658"Remembering what my grandfather had bidden us, we often fasted, every
1659morning we said the Acathist of Our Lady, and at night we each made a thousand
1660prostrations to avoid falling into temptation. Thus we lived quietly enough for two
1661years. But this is what is so surprising—although we had no understanding of interior
1662prayer offered in the heart and indeed had never heard of it, but prayed with the
1663tongue only, and made our prostrations without thought like buffoons turning
1664somersaults, yet in spite of all this the wish for prayer was there, and the long prayers
1665we said without understanding did not seem tiring; indeed we liked them. Clearly it is
1666true, as a certain teacher once told me, that a secret prayer lies hidden within the
1667human heart. The man himself does not know it, yet working mysteriously within his
1668soul, it urges him to prayer according to each man's knowledge and power.
1669
1670"After two years of this sort of life that we were leading, my wife was taken
1671suddenly ill with a high fever. She was given her communion and on the ninth day of
1672her illness she died. I was now left entirely alone in the world. There was no sort of
1673work that I could do; still I had to live, and it went against my conscience to beg.
1674Besides that, I felt such grief at the loss of my wife that I did not know what to do with
1675myself. When I happened to go into our little hut and caught sight of her clothes or
1676perhaps a scarf, I burst into tears and even fell down senseless. So feeling I could no
1677
167847:
1679
1680longer bear my grief living at home, I sold the hut for twenty rubles, and such clothes
1681as there were of my own and my wife's I gave away to the poor. Because of my
1682crippled arm I was given a passport which set me free once for all from public duties,
1683and taking my beloved Bible I set straight off, without caring or thinking where I was
1684going.
1685
1686"But after a while I began to think where I would go and said to myself, 'First of all
1687I will go to Kiev. I will venerate the shrines of those who were pleasing to God, and
1688ask for their help in my trouble.' As soon as I had made up my mind to this I began to
1689feel better, and, a good deal comforted, I made my way to Kiev. Since that time, for
1690the last thirteen years that is, I have gone on wandering from place to place. I have
1691made the rounds of many churches and monasteries, but nowadays I am taking more
1692and more to wandering over the steppes and fields. I do not know whether God will
1693vouchsafe to let me go to Jerusalem. If it be His will, when the time comes my sinful
1694bones may be laid to rest there."
1695
1696"And how old are you?"
1697
1698"Thirty-three."
1699
1700"Well, dear brother, you have reached the age of our Lord Jesus Christ!"
1701"But it is good for me to hold me fast by God, to put my trust in the Lord God."
1702"The russian proverb is true, which says that 'man proposes but God disposes,'" said
1703I, as I came back again to my spiritual father. "I thought that by now I should certainly
1704be on my way to Jerusalem. But see how differently things have fallen out.
1705Something quite unlooked for has happened and kept me in the same place here for
1706another three days. And I could not help coming to tell you about it and to ask your
1707advice in making up my mind about the matter.
1708
1709"It happened like this. I had said good-bye to everybody, and with God's help
1710started on my way. I had gotten as far as the outskirts of the town when I saw a man I
1711knew standing at the door of the very last house. He was at one time a pilgrim like
1712me, but I had not seen him for about three years. We greeted one another and he
1713asked me where I was going.
1714
1715" 'God willing,' I answered, 'I want to go to Jerusalem.'
1716
1717" 'Thank God! There is a nice fellow-traveler for you,' he said.
1718
171948:
1720
1721" 'God be with you, and with him too,' said I, 'but surely you know that it is never
1722my way to travel with other people. I always wander about alone.'
1723" 'Yes, but listen. I feel sure that this one is just your sort; you will suit each other
1724down to the ground. Now, look here, the father of the master of this house, where I
1725have been taken on as a servant, is going under a vow to Jerusalem, and you will
1726easily get used to each other. He belongs to this town, he's a good old man, and
1727what's more he is quite deaf. So much so that however much you shout, he can't
1728hear a word. If you want to ask him anything you have to write it on a bit of paper,
1729and then he answers. So you see he won't bore you on the road; he won't speak to
1730you; even at home here he grows more and more silent. On the other hand you will
1731be a great help to him on the way. His son is giving him a horse and cart, which he
1732will take as far as Odessa and then sell there. The old man wants to go on foot, but
1733the horse is going as well because he has a bit of luggage, and some things he is
1734taking to the Lord's tomb. And you can put your knapsack in with them too, of course.
1735Now just think, how can we possibly send an old deaf man off with a horse, all by
1736himself on such a long journey? They have searched and searched for somebody to
1737take him, but they all want to be paid such a lot; besides, there's a risk in sending him
1738with someone we don't know, for he has money and belongings with him. Say "Yes,"
1739brother, it will really be all right; make up your mind now for the glory of God and the
1740love of your neighbor. I will vouch for you to his people, and they will be too pleased
1741for words; they are kindly folk and very fond of me. I've been working for them for two
1742years now.'
1743
1744"All this talk had taken place at the door, and he now took me into the house. The
1745head of the household was there, and I saw clearly that they were quite a worthy and
1746decent family. So I agreed to the plan. So now we have arranged to start with God's
1747blessing, after hearing the liturgy two days after Christmas. What unexpected things
1748we meet with on life's journey! Yet all the while, God and His Holy Providence guide
1749our actions and overrule our plans, as it is written, 'It is God which worketh in you
1750both to will and to do.'"
1751
1752On hearing all this, my spiritual father said, "I rejoice with all my heart, dear
1753brother, that God has so ordered it that I should see you again, so unexpectedly and
1754so soon. And since you now have time, I want, in all love, to keep you a little longer,
1755
175649:
1757
1758and you shall tell me more about the instructive experiences you have met with in the
1759course of your long pilgrimages. I have already listened with great pleasure and
1760interest to what you told me before."
1761
1762"I am quite ready and happy to do that," I answered, and I began as follows:
1763
1764"A great many things have happened to me, some good and some bad. It would
1765take a long while to tell of them all, and much I have already forgotten. For I have
1766tried especially to remember only such matters as guided and urged my idle soul to
1767prayer. All the rest I rarely remember; or rather I have tried to forget the past, as St.
1768Paul bids us when he says, 'Forgetting the things that are behind and stretching
1769forward to the things that are before, I press on toward the goal of the prize of the
1770high calling.' My late starets of blessed memory also used to say that the forces
1771which are against prayer in the heart attack us from two sides, from the left hand and
1772from the right. That is to say, if the enemy cannot turn us from prayer by means of
1773vain thoughts and sinful ideas, then he brings back into our minds good things we
1774have been taught, and fills us with beautiful ideas, so that one way or another he may
1775lure us away from prayer, which is a thing he cannot bear. It is called 'a theft from the
1776right- hand side,' and in it the soul, putting aside its converse with God, turns to the
1777satisfaction of converse with self or with created things. He taught me, therefore, not
1778to admit during times of prayer even the most lofty of spiritual thoughts. And if I saw
1779that in the course of the day, time had been spent more in improving thought and talk
1780than in the actual hidden prayer of the heart, then I was to think of it as a loss of the
1781sense of proportion, or a sign of spiritual greed. This is above all true, he said, in the
1782case of beginners, for whom it is most needful that time given to prayer should be
1783very much more than that taken up by other sides of the devout life.
1784
1785"Still one cannot forget everything. A matter may have printed itself so deeply in
1786one's mind that although it has not been actually thought of for a long time, yet it is
1787remembered very clearly. A case in point is the few days' stay that God deemed me
1788worthy to enjoy with a certain devout family in the following manner.
1789
1790"During my wanderings in the Tobolsk government, I happened to pass through a
1791certain country town. My supply of dried bread had run very low, so I went to one of
1792the houses to ask for some more. The householder said, 'Thank God, you have come
1793just at the right moment— my wife has only just taken the bread out of the oven, so
1794
179550:
1796
1797there is a hot loaf for you. Remember me in your prayers.' I thanked him and was
1798putting the bread away in my knapsack when his wife, who was looking on, said,
1799'What a wretched state your knapsack is in, it is all worn out. I'll give you another
1800instead.' And she gave me a good strong one. I thanked them very heartily and went
1801on. On leaving the town I went into a little shop to ask for a bit of salt, and the
1802shopkeeper gave me a small bag quite full. I rejoiced in spirit and thanked God for
1803leading me, unworthy as I was, to such kindly folk. 'Now,' thought I, 'without having to
1804worry about food I shall be filled and content for a whole week. Bless the Lord, O my
1805soul!'
1806
1807"Three miles or so from this town, the road I was following passed through a poor
1808village, where I saw a little wooden church nicely decked out and painted on the
1809outside. As I was going by it I felt a wish to honor God's house, and going into the
1810porch I prayed for a while. On the grass at the side of the church there were playing
1811two little children of five or six years of age. I took them to be the parish priest's
1812children, for they were very nicely dressed. I finished my prayers and went on my
1813way, but I had not gone a dozen paces from the church when I heard a shout behind
1814me. 'Dear little beggar! Dear little beggar! Stop!' The two little ones I had seen, a boy
1815and a girl, were calling and running after me. I stopped, and they ran up to me and
1816took me by the hand. 'Come along to mommy, she likes beggars.'
1817
1818" 'I'm not a beggar,' I told them, 'I'm just a passerby.'
1819
1820"'Why have you got a bag, then?'
1821
1822" 'That is for the bread I eat on the way.'
1823
1824" 'All the same you must come. Mommy will give you some money for your
1825journey.'
1826
1827"'But where is your mommy?' I asked.
1828
1829" 'Down there behind the church, behind that little wood.'
1830
1831"They took me into a beautiful garden in the middle of which stood a large country
1832house. We went inside, and how clean and smart it all was! The lady of the house
1833came hurrying to us. 'Welcome, welcome! God has sent you to us; and how did you
1834come? Sit down, sit down, dear.' With her own hands she took off my knapsack and
1835put it on a table, and made me sit in a very comfortably padded chair. 'Wouldn't you
1836like something to eat? Or a cup of tea? Isn't there anything you need?'
1837
183851
1839
1840" 'I most humbly thank you,' I answered, 'but I have a whole bagful of food. It is
1841true that I do take tea, but as a peasant I am not very used to it. I value your heartfelt
1842and kindly welcome even more than the treat you offer me. I shall pray that God may
1843bless you for showing such love for strangers in the spirit of the Gospels.'
1844
1845"While I was speaking, a strong feeling came over me, urging me to withdraw
1846within myself again. The prayer was surging up in my heart, and I needed peace and
1847silence to give free play to this quickening flame of prayer, as well as to hide from
1848others the outward signs which went with it, such as tears and sighs and unusual
1849movements of the face and lips. I therefore got up, saying, 'Please excuse me, but I
1850must leave now; may the Lord Jesus Christ be with you and with your dear little
1851children.'
1852
1853" 'Oh, no! God forbid that you should go away. I won't allow it. My husband, who is
1854a magistrate, will be coming back from town this evening, and how delighted he will
1855be to see you! He reverences every pilgrim as a messenger of God. If you go away
1856he will be really grieved not to have seen you. Besides that, tomorrow is Sunday, and
1857you will pray with us at the liturgy, and at the dinner table take your share with us in
1858what God has sent. On holy days we always have up to thirty guests, and all of them
1859our poor brothers in Jesus Christ. Come now, why have you told me nothing about
1860yourself, where you come from and where you are going? Talk to me—I like listening
1861to the spiritual conversation of devout people. Children, children! Take the pilgrim's
1862knapsack into the oratory, he will spend the night there.'
1863
1864"I was astonished as I listened to what she said, and I asked myself whether I was
1865talking with a human being or with a ghost of some sort.
1866
1867"So I stayed and waited for her husband. I gave her a short account of my travels,
1868and said I was on my way to Irkutsk. " 'Why, then, you will have to go through
1869Tobolsk,' said the lady, 'and my own mother is a nun in a convent there; she is a
1870skhimnitsa1 now. We will give you a letter, and she will be glad to see you. A great
1871many people go to consult her on spiritual matters. And you will be able to take her a
1872book by St. John of the ladder, which we have just ordered from Moscow at her
1873request. How nicely it all fits in!'
1874
1875"Soon it was dinnertime, and we sat down to table. Four other ladies came in and
1876began the meal with us. When the first course was ended one of them rose, bowed to
1877
187852
1879
1880the icon,8 and then to us. Then she went and fetched the second course and sat
1881down again. Then another of the ladies in the same way went and brought the third
1882course. When I saw this, I said to my hostess, 'May I venture to ask whether these
1883ladies are relations of yours?'
1884
1885" 'Yes, they are indeed sisters to me; this is my cook, and this the coachman's
1886wife, that one has charge of the keys, and the other is my maid. They are all married;
1887I have no unmarried girls at all in my whole household.'
1888
1889"The more I saw and heard of all this, the more surprised I was, and I thanked
1890God for letting me see these devout people. I felt the prayer stirring strongly in my
1891heart, so, wishing to be alone as soon as I could and not hinder the prayer, I said to
1892the lady as soon as we rose from the table, 'No doubt you will rest for a while after
1893dinner, and I am so used to walking that I will go for a stroll in the garden.'
1894
1895" 'No, I don't rest,' she replied. 'I will come into the garden with you, and you shall
1896talk to me about something instructive. If you go alone, the children will give you no
1897peace, directly they see you, they will not leave you for a minute, they are so fond of
1898beggars, and brothers in Christ, and pilgrims.'
1899
1900"There was nothing for me to do but to go with her. In order to avoid doing the talking
1901myself, when we got into the garden I bowed down to the ground before her and
1902said, 'Do tell me, please, have you lived this devout life long, and how did you come
1903to take it up?'
1904
1905" 'I will tell you the whole story if you like,' was the answer. 'You see, my mother
1906was a great-granddaughter of St. Joasaph, whose relics rest at Byelgorod. We had a
1907large town house, one wing of which was rented to a man who was a gentleman but
1908not well off. After a while he died; his wife was left pregnant and herself died in giving
1909birth to a child. The infant was left an orphan and in poverty, and out of pity my
1910mother adopted him. A year later I was born. We grew up together and did lessons
1911together with the same tutors and governesses, and were as used to each other as a
1912real brother and sister. Some while later my father died, and my mother gave up
1913living in town and came with us to live on this estate of hers here. When we grew up,
1914she gave me in marriage to her adopted son, settled this estate on us, and herself
1915took the veil in a convent, where she had a cell built for her. She gave us a mother's
1916blessing, and as her last will and testament she urged us to live as good Christians,
1917
191853
1919
1920to say our prayers fervently, and above all try to fulfill the greatest of God's
1921commandments, that is, the love of one's neighbor, to feed and help our poor
1922brothers in Christ in simplicity and humility, to bring up our children in the fear of the
1923Lord, and to treat our serfs as our brothers. And that is how we have been living here
1924by ourselves for the last ten years now, trying as best we could to carry out mother's
1925last wishes. We have a guesthouse for beggars, and at the present moment there are
1926living in it more than ten crippled and sick people. If you care to, we will go and see
1927them tomorrow.'
1928
1929"When she had ended her story, I asked her where the book by St. John of the ladder
1930was, which she wished to send to her mother. 'Come indoors,' she said, 'and I will
1931find it for you.'
1932
1933"We had just sat down and begun to read it when her husband came in and,
1934seeing me, gave me a warm welcome. We kissed each other as two brothers in
1935Christ, and then he took me off to his own room, saying, 'Come, dear brother, let us
1936go into my study, and you shall bless my cell. I expect she (pointing to his wife) has
1937been boring you. No sooner does she catch sight of a pilgrim of either sex, or of
1938some sick person, than she is so delighted that she will not leave them day or night.
1939She has been like that for years and years.' We went into the study. What a lot of
1940books there were, and beautiful icons, and the life-giving cross with the figure life-
1941sized, and the Gospels lying near it! I said a prayer. 'You are in God's own paradise
1942here,' I said. 'Here is the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and His most holy mother, and
1943the blessed saints! And there,' I went on, pointing to the books, 'are the divine, living,
1944and everlasting words of their teaching. I expect you very often enjoy heavenly
1945converse with them.'
1946
1947" 'Yes, I admit I am a great lover of reading,' he answered.
1948
1949" 'What sort of books are they you have here?' I asked.
1950
1951" 'I have a large number of religious books,' was the answer. 'Here you see are
1952the Lives of the Saints for the whole year, and the works of St. John Chrysostom, and
1953Basil the Great, and many other theologians and philosophers. I have a lot of
1954volumes of sermons, too, by celebrated modern preachers. My library is worth about
1955five hundred pounds.'
1956
195754:
1958
1959" 'Haven't you anything on prayer?'
1960
1961Yes, I am very fond of reading about prayer. Here is the very latest work on the
1962subject, the work of a Petersburg priest.' He took down a book on the Lord's Prayer
1963and we began to read it with great enjoyment. A short while after the lady came in,
1964bringing tea, followed by the children, who dragged in a large silver basket full of
1965biscuits and cakes such as I had never tasted before in my life. My host took the
1966book from me and handed it to his wife, saying, 'Now we will get her to read; she
1967reads beautifully, and we will keep our strength up with the tea.' So she began
1968reading, and we listened. And as I listened I felt the action of the prayer in my heart.
1969The longer the reading went on the more the prayer grew and made me glad.
1970Suddenly I saw something flash quickly before my eyes, in the air as it were, like the
1971figure of my departed starets. I started, and so as to hide the fact I said, 'Excuse me,
1972I must have dropped asleep for a moment.' Then I felt as though the soul of my
1973starets made its way into my own, or gave light to it. I felt a sort of light in my mind,
1974and a number of ideas about prayer came to me. I was just crossing myself and
1975setting my will to put these ideas aside when the lady came to the end of the book
1976and her husband asked me whether I had liked it, so that talking began again. 'Very
1977much,' I answered, 'the "Our Father" is the loftiest and most precious of all the written
1978prayers we Christians have, for the Lord Jesus Christ himself gave it to us. And the
1979explanation of it which has just been read is very good, too, only it all deals for the
1980most part with the active side of the Christian life, and in my reading of the holy
1981Fathers I have come across a more speculative and mystical explanation of the
1982prayer.'
1983
1984" 'In which of the Fathers did you read this?'
1985
1986" 'Well, in Maxim the confessor, for example, and in Peter the Damascene, in The
1987Philokalia.'
1988
1989" 'Do you remember it? Tell us about it, please.'
1990" 'Certainly. The first words of the prayer, "Our Father which art in heaven" are
1991explained in your book as a call to brotherly love for one's neighbor, since we are all
1992children of the one Father, and that is very true. But in the holy Fathers the
1993explanation goes further and is more deeply spiritual. They say that when we use
1994
199555:
1996
1997these words we should lift up our mind to heaven, to the heavenly Father, and
1998remember every moment that we are in the presence of God.
1999
2000" 'The words "hallowed be thy name" are explained in your book by the care we
2001ought to have not to utter the Name of God except with reverence, nor to use it in a
2002false oath, in a word that the Holy Name of God be spoken holily and not taken in
2003vain. But the mystical writers see here a plain call to inward prayer of the heart; that
2004is, that the most Holy Name of God may be stamped inwardly upon the heart and be
2005hallowed by self-acting prayer and hallow all our feelings and all the powers of the
2006soul. The words "Thy kingdom come" they explain thus—may inward peace and quiet
2007and spiritual joy come to our hearts. In your book again, the words "Give us this day
2008our daily bread" are understood as asking for what we need for our bodily life, not for
2009more than that, but for what is needed for ourselves and for the help of our neighbor.
2010On the other hand, Maxim the confessor understands by "daily bread" the feeding of
2011the soul with heavenly bread, that is, the Word of God, and the union of the soul with
2012God, by dwelling upon Him in thought and the unceasing inward prayer of the heart.'
2013
2014" 'Ah, but the attainment of interior prayer is a very big business and almost
2015impossible for layfolk,' exclaimed my host. 'We are lucky if we manage to say our
2016ordinary prayers without slothfulness.'
2017
2018" 'Don't look at it in that way,' said I. 'If it were out of the question and quite too
2019hard to do, God would not have bidden us all do it. His strength is made perfect in
2020weakness. The holy Fathers, who speak from their own experience, offer us the
2021means, and make the way to win the prayer of the heart easier. Of course, for
2022hermits they give special and higher methods, but for those who live in the world their
2023writings show ways which truly lead to interior prayer.'
2024
2025"I have never come across anything of that sort in my reading,' he said.
2026
2027" 'If you would care to hear it, may I read you a little from The Philokalia?' I asked,
2028taking up my copy. I found Peter the Damascene's article, part three, page 48, and
2029read as follows:' "One must learn to call upon the name of God, more even than
2030breathing—at all times, in all places, in every kind of occupation. The Apostle says,
2031'Pray without ceasing.' That is, he teaches men to have the remembrance of God in
2032all times and places and circumstances. If you are making something, you must call
2033to mind the Creator of all things; if you see the light, remember the Giver of it; if you
2034
203556:
2036
2037see the heavens and the earth and the sea and all that is in them, wonder and praise
2038the Maker of them. If you put on your clothes, recall Whose gift they are and thank
2039Him Who provides for your life. In short, let every action be a cause of your
2040remembering and praising God, and lo! you will be praying without ceasing and
2041therein your soul will always rejoice." There, you see, this way of ceaseless prayer is
2042simple and easy and within the reach of everybody so long as he has some amount
2043of human feeling.'
2044
2045"They were extraordinarily pleased with this. My host took me in his arms and
2046thanked me again and again. Then he looked at my Philokalia, saying, 'I must
2047certainly buy myself a copy of this. I will get it at once from Petersburg; but for the
2048moment and in memory of this occasion I will copy out the passage you have just
2049read—you read it out to me.' And then and there he wrote it out beautifully. Then he
2050exclaimed, 'Why, goodness me! Of course I have an icon of the Damascene!' (It was
2051probably of St. John Damascene.) He picked up a frame, put what he had written
2052behind the glass, and hung it beneath the icon. 'There,' said he, 'the living word of the
2053saint underneath his picture will often remind me to put his wholesome advice into
2054practice.'
2055
2056"After this we went to supper. As before, the whole household, men and women,
2057sat down to table with us. How reverently silent and calm the meal was! And at the
2058end of it we all, the children as well, spent a long while in prayer. I was asked to read
2059the 'Acathist to Jesus the heart's delight.' Afterward the servants went away to bed,
2060and we three were left alone in the room. Then the lady brought me a white shirt and
2061a pair of stockings. I bowed down at her feet and said, 'The stockings, little mother, I
2062will not take. I have never worn them in my life, we are always so used to onoochi.'9
2063She hurried off and brought back her old caftan of thin yellow material, and cut it up
2064into two onoochi, while her husband, saying, 'And look, the poor fellow's footwear is
2065almost worn out,' brought me his new bashmaki,10 large ones which he wore over his
2066top boots. Then he told me to go into the next room, which was empty, and change
2067my shirt. I did so, and when I came back to them again they sat me down on a chair
2068to put my new footwear on, he wrapping my feet and legs in the onoochi and she
2069putting on the bashmaki. At first I would not let them, but they bade me sit down,
2070saying 'Sit down and be quiet; Christ washed His disciples' feet.' There was nothing
2071
207257:
2073
2074to do but obey, and I began to weep, and so did they. After this the lady went to bed
2075with the children, and her husband and I went to a summerhouse in the garden.
2076"For a long while we did not go to sleep, but lay talking. He began in this way, 'Now in
2077God's name and on your conscience tell me the real truth. Who are you? You must
2078be of good birth, and are only assuming a disguise of simplicity. You read and write
2079well, you speak correctly, and are able to discuss things, and these things do not go
2080with a peasant upbringing.'
2081
2082" 'I spoke the real truth with a sincere heart both to you and to your wife when I
2083told you about my birth, and I never had a thought of lying or of deceiving you. Why
2084should I? As for the things I say, they are not my own, but what I have heard from my
2085departed starets, who was full of divine wisdom, or what I have gathered from a
2086careful reading of the holy Fathers. But my ignorance has gained more light from
2087interior prayer than from anything else, and that I have not reached by myself —it has
2088been granted me by the mercy of God and the teaching of my starets. And that can
2089be done by anyone. It costs nothing but the effort to sink down in silence into the
2090depths of one's heart and call more and more upon the radiant name of Jesus.
2091Everyone who does that feels at once the inward light, everything becomes
2092understandable to him, he even catches sight in this light of some of the mysteries of
2093the kingdom of God. And what depth and light there is in the mystery of a man
2094coming to know that he has this power to plumb the depths of his own being, to see
2095himself from within, to find delight in self- knowledge, to take pity on himself and shed
2096tears of gladness over his fall and his spoiled will! To show good sense in dealing
2097with things and to talk with people is no hard matter and lies within anyone's power,
2098for the mind and the heart were there before learning and human wisdom. If the mind
2099is there, you can set it to work either upon science or upon experience, but if the
2100mind is lacking then no teaching, however wise, and no training will be any good. The
2101trouble is that we live far from ourselves and have but little wish to get any nearer to
2102ourselves. Indeed we are running away all the time to avoid coming face to face with
2103our real selves, and we barter the truth for trifles. We think, "I would very gladly take
2104an interest in spiritual things, and in prayer, but I have no time, the fuss and cares of
2105life give no chance for such a thing." Yet which is really important and necessary,
2106salvation and the eternal life of the soul, or the fleeting life of the body on which we
2107
210858:
2109
2110spend so much labor? It is that that I spoke of, and that leads to either sense or
2111stupidity in people.'
2112
2113" 'Forgive me, dear brother, I asked not just out of mere curiosity, but from
2114friendliness and Christian sympathy, and even more because about two years ago I
2115came across a case which gave rise to the question I put to you. It was like this:
2116There came to our house a certain beggar with a discharged soldier's passport. He
2117was old and feeble, and so poor that he was almost naked and barefoot. He spoke
2118little, and in such a simple way that you would take him for a peasant of the steppes.
2119We took him into the guesthouse, but some five days later he fell seriously ill, and so
2120we moved him to this very summerhouse, where we kept him quiet, and my wife and
2121I looked after him and nursed him. But after a while it was plain that he was nearing
2122his end. We prepared him for it and sent for our priest for his confession, communion,
2123and anointing. The day before he died, he got up and asked me for a sheet of paper
2124and a pen and begged me to shut the door and to let no one in while he wrote his
2125will, which he desired me to send after his death to his son at an address in
2126Petersburg. I was astounded when I saw him write, for not only did he write a
2127beautiful and absolutely cultured hand, but the composition also was excellent,
2128thoroughly- correct, and showing great delicacy of touch. In fact, I'll read you that will
2129of his tomorrow. I have a copy of it. All this set me wondering, and aroused my
2130curiosity enough to ask him about his origin and his life.
2131
2132" After making me solemnly vow not to reveal it to anyone until after his death, he
2133told me, for the glory
2134
2135of God, the story of his life. "I was Prince X ---- ," he
2136
2137began. "I was very wealthy and led a most luxurious and dissipated life. After the
2138death of my wife, my son and I lived together, he being happily settled in military
2139service; he was a captain in the guards. One day when I was getting ready to go to a
2140ball at an important person's house, I was very angry with my valet. Unable to control
2141my temper, I struck him a severe blow on the head and ordered him to be sent away
2142to his village. This happened in the evening, and next morning the valet died from the
2143effects of the blow. This did not affect me very seriously. I regretted my rashness but
2144soon forgot the whole thing. Six weeks later, though, I began seeing the dead valet,
2145in my dreams to begin with—every night he disturbed me and reproached me,
2146
214759
2148
2149incessantly repeating, 'Conscienceless man! You are my murderer!' As time went on,
2150I began seeing him when I was awake also, wide awake. His appearances grew
2151more and more frequent with the lapse of time, till the agitation he caused me
2152became almost constant. And in the end he did not appear alone, but I saw at the
2153same time other dead men whom I had treated very badly, and women whom I had
2154seduced. They all reproached me ceaselessly and gave me no peace, to such an
2155extent that I could neither sleep nor eat nor do anything else. My strength grew utterly
2156exhausted, and my skin stuck to my bones. All the efforts of skilled physicians were
2157of no avail at all. I went abroad for a cure, but after trying it for six months, I was not
2158benefited in the slightest degree, and those torturing apparitions grew steadily worse
2159and worse. I was brought home again more dead than alive. I went through the
2160horrors and tortures of hell in fullest measure. I had proof then that hell exists, and I
2161knew what it meant! While I was in this wretched condition I recognized my own
2162wrongdoing. I repented and made my confession. I gave all my serfs their freedom
2163and took a vow to afflict myself for the rest of my days with as toilsome a life as
2164possible and to disguise myself as a beggar. I wanted, because of all my sins, to
2165become the humblest servant of people of the very lowest station in life. No sooner
2166had I resolutely come to this decision than those disturbing visions of mine ceased. I
2167felt such comfort and happiness from having made my peace with God that I cannot
2168adequately describe it. But just as I had been through hell before, so now I
2169experienced paradise, and learned what that meant also, and how the kingdom of
2170God is revealed in our hearts. I soon got perfectly well again and carried out my
2171intention, leaving my native land secretly, furnished with a discharged soldier's
2172passport. And now for the last fifteen years I have been wandering about the whole
2173of Siberia. Sometimes I hire myself out to the peasants for such work as I can do.
2174Sometimes I find sustenance by begging in the name of Christ. Ah, what blessedness
2175and what happiness and what peace of mind I enjoy in the midst of all these
2176privations! It can be felt to the full only by one who by the mercy of the Great
2177Intercessor has been brought out of hell into paradise."
2178
2179" 'When he came to the end of his story he handed me the will to forward to his
2180son, and on the following day he died. And I have a copy of that will in a wallet lying
2181on my Bible. If you would like to read it I will get it for you now. . . . Here you are.'
2182
218360:
2184
2185"I unfolded it and read thus:
2186
2187In the name of God the glorious Trinity, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
2188My dearest son,
2189
2190It is fifteen years now since you saw your father. But though you have had no
2191news of him, he has from time to time found means to hear of you, and cherished a
2192father's love for you. That love impels him to send you these few lines from his
2193deathbed. May they be a lifelong lesson to you!
2194
2195You know how I suffered for my careless and thoughtless life; but you do not
2196know how I have been blessed in my unknown pilgrimage and filled with joy in the
2197fruits of repentance.
2198
2199I die at peace in the house of one who has been good to me, and to you also; for
2200kindnesses showered upon the father must touch the feeling heart of a grateful son.
2201Render to him my gratitude in any way you can.
2202
2203In bestowing on you my paternal blessing, I adjure you to remember God and to
2204guard your conscience. Be prudent, kindly, and considerate; treat your inferiors as
2205benevolently and amiably as you can; do not despise beggars and pilgrims,
2206remembering that only in beggary and pilgrimage did your dying father find rest and
2207peace for his tormented soul. I invoke God's blessing upon you, and calmly close my
2208eyes in the hope of life eternal, through the mercy of the Great Intercessor for men,
2209our Lord Jesus Christ.
2210
2211Your father, X ------------------------------------------------
2212
2213"Thus my host and I lay and chatted together, and my turn I put a question to him. 'I
2214suppose you are not without worries and bothers, with this guesthouse of yours? Of
2215course there are quite a lot of our pilgrim brotherhood who take to the life because
2216they have nothing to do, or from sheer laziness, and sometimes they do a little
2217thieving on the road; I have seen it myself.'
2218
2219" There have not been many cases of that sort,' was the answer. 'We have for the
2220most part always come across genuine pilgrims. And if we do get the other sort, we
2221welcome them all the more kindly and try the harder to get them to stay with us.
2222Through living with our good beggars and brothers in Christ they often become
2223reformed characters and leave the guesthouse humble and kindly folk. Why, there
2224was a case of that sort not so long ago. He was a man belonging to the lower middle
2225
222661
2227
2228class of our town here, and he went so thoroughly to the bad that it came to the point
2229of everybody driving him away from their doors with a stick and refusing to give him
2230even a crust of bread. He was a drunken, quarrelsome bully, and what is more he
2231stole. That was the sort of person he was when one day he came to us, very hungry,
2232and asked for some bread and wine, for the latter of which he was extraordinarily
2233eager. We gave him a friendly reception and said, "Stay with us and we will give you
2234as much wine as you like, but only on this condition, that when you have been
2235drinking, you go straight away and lie down and go to sleep. If you get in the slightest
2236degree unruly or troublesome, not only shall we turn you out and never take you back
2237again, but I shall report the matter to the police and have you sent off to a penal
2238settlement as a suspected vagabond." He agreed to this and stopped with us. For a
2239week or more he certainly did drink a great deal, to his heart's content. But because
2240of his promise and because of his attachment to the wine, which he was afraid of
2241being deprived of, he always lay down to sleep afterward, or took himself off to the
2242kitchen garden and lay down there quietly enough. When he was sober again the
2243brothers of the guesthouse talked persuasively to him and gave him good advice
2244about learning to control himself, if only little by little to begin with. So he gradually
2245began to drink less, and in the end, some three months later, he became quite a
2246temperate person. He has taken a situation somewhere now, and no longer leads a
2247futile life of dependence on other people's charity. The day before yesterday he came
2248here to thank me.'
2249
2250"What wisdom! I thought, made perfect by the guidance of love! and aloud I said,
2251'Blessed be God, who has so shown His grace in the household under your care.'
2252After this talk we slept for an hour or an hour and a half till we heard the bells for
2253matins. We got ready and went over to the church. On going in we at once saw the
2254lady of the house, who had been there some time already with her children. We were
2255all present at matins, and the Divine Liturgy went straight on afterward. The head of
2256the house with his little boy and I took our places within the altar,11 while his wife and
2257the little girl stood near the altar window, where they could see the elevation of the
2258holy gifts. How earnestly they prayed as they knelt and shed tears of joy! And I wept
2259to the full myself as I looked at the light on their faces. After the service was over, the
2260gentlefolk, the priest, the servants, and the beggars all went off together to the dining
2261
226262
2263
2264room. There were some forty or so beggars, and cripples and sick folk and children.
2265They all sat down at one and the same table, and how peaceful and silent it all was! I
2266plucked up my courage and said quietly to my host, 'They read the lives of the saints
2267during meals in monasteries. You might do the same. You've got the whole series of
2268books.' " 'Let us adopt the plan here, Mary,' said he, turning to his wife, 'it will be most
2269edifying. I will begin, and read at the first dinnertime, then you at the next, then the
2270batyushka,12 and after that the rest of the brothers who know how to read, in turn.'
2271
2272"The priest began to talk and eat at the same time. 'I like listening, but as for
2273reading—well, with all respect I should like to be let off. You have no idea what a
2274whirl I live in when I get home, worries and jobs of all sorts, first one thing has to be
2275done and then another, what with a host of children and animals into the bargain—
2276my whole day is filled up with things to do. There's no time for reading or study. I've
2277long ago forgotten even what I learned at the seminary.' I shuddered as I heard this,
2278but our hostess, who was sitting near me, took my hand and said, 'Batyushka talks
2279like that because he is so humble, he always makes little of himself, but he is really a
2280man of most kindly and saintly life. He has been a widower for the last twenty years
2281and is bringing up a whole family of grandchildren. For all that he holds services very
2282frequently.' At these words there came into my mind the following saying of Nicetas
2283Stethatus in The Philokalia: 'The nature of things is judged by the inward disposition
2284of the soul,' that is, a man gets his ideas about his neighbors from what he himself is.
2285And he goes on to say, 'He who has attained to true prayer and love has no sense of
2286the differences between things: he does not distinguish the righteous man from the
2287sinner, but loves them all equally and judges no man, as God causes His sun to
2288shine and His rain to fall on the just and the unjust.'
2289
2290"We fell silent again. Opposite me sat one of the beggars from the guesthouse
2291who was quite blind. The master of the house was looking after him. He cut up his
2292fish for him, gave him his spoon, and poured out his soup.
2293
2294"I watched carefully and saw that this beggar always had his mouth open and that
2295his tongue was moving all the time, as though it were trembling. Surely, thought I, he
2296must be one of those who pray. And I went on watching. Right at the end of dinner an
2297old woman was taken ill. It was a sharp attack, and she began to groan. Our host and
2298his wife took her into their bedroom and laid her on their bed, where the lady stayed
2299
230063
2301
2302to look after her. Her husband meanwhile ordered his carriage and went off at a
2303gallop to the town for a doctor. The priest went to fetch the Reserved Sacrament, and
2304we all went our ways.
2305
2306"I felt as it were hungry for prayer, an urgent need to pour out my soul in prayer,
2307and I had not been in quiet nor alone for forty-eight hours. I felt as though there were
2308in my heart a sort of flood struggling to burst out and flow through all my limbs. To
2309hold it back caused me severe, even if comforting, pain in the heart, a pain that
2310needed to be calmed and satisfied in the silence of prayer. And now I saw why those
2311who really practice interior self-acting prayer have fled from the company of men and
2312hidden themselves in unknown places. I saw further why the venerable Isikhi called
2313even the most spiritual and helpful talk mere idle chatter if there were too much of it,
2314just as Ephrem the Syrian says, 'Good speech is silver, but silence is pure gold.'
2315
2316"As I thought all this over, I made my way to the guesthouse, where everyone was
2317resting after dinner. I went up into the attic, where I quietly rested and prayed.
2318
2319"When the beggars were about again, I found the blind man and took him off to
2320the kitchen garden, where we sat down alone and began to talk. 'Tell me, please,'
2321said I, 'do you for the sake of your soul say the prayer of Jesus?'
2322
2323" 'I have said it without stopping for a long while.'
2324
2325" 'But what sort of feeling do you get from it?'
2326
2327" 'Only this, that day or night I cannot live without the prayer.'
2328
2329" 'How did God show it you? Tell me about it, tell me everything, dear brother.'
2330
2331" 'Well, it was like this. I belong to this district and used to earn my living by doing
2332tailoring jobs. I traveled about different provinces going from village to village, and
2333made clothes for the peasants. I happened to stay a fairly long time in one village in
2334the house of a peasant for whose family I was making clothing. One day, a holy day it
2335was, I saw three books lying near the icons, and I asked who it was in the household
2336that could read. "No one," they answered; "those books were left us by an uncle; he
2337knew how to read and write." I picked up one of the books, opened it at random, and
2338read, as I remember to this very hour, the following words: "Ceaseless prayer is to
2339call upon the name of God always, whether a man is conversing, or sitting down, or
2340walking, or making something, or eating, whatever he may be doing, in all places and
2341at all times, he ought to call upon God's name." Reading that started me thinking how
2342
234364:
2344
2345simple that would be for me. I began to say the prayer in a whisper while I was
2346sewing, and I liked it. People living in the same house with me noticed it and began
2347to make fun of me. "Are you a wizard or what?" they asked, "going on whispering all
2348the time?" or "What are you muttering charms about?" So to hide what I was doing, 1
2349gave up moving my lips and went on saying the prayer with my tongue only. In the
2350end I got so used to the prayer that my tongue went on saying it by itself day and
2351night, and I liked it. I went about like that for a long while, and then all of a sudden I
2352became quite blind. Almost everyone in our family gets "dark water"13 in the eyes.
2353So, because I was so poor, our people got me into the almshouse at Tobolsk, which
2354is the capital of our province. I am on my way there now, only the gentry have kept
2355me here because they want to give me a cart as far as Tobolsk.'
2356
2357" 'What was the name of the book you read? Wasn't it called The Philokalia?'
2358
2359" 'Honestly, I don't know. I didn't even look at the title page.'
2360
2361"I fetched my Philokalia and looked out in part four those very words of the
2362patriarch Callistus which he had said by heart, and I read them to him.
2363
2364" 'Why, those are the very same words!' cried the blind man. 'How splendid! Go on
2365reading, brother.'
2366
2367"When I got to the lines, 'One ought to pray with the heart,' he began to ply me
2368with questions. 'What does that mean? How is that done?'
2369
2370"I told him that full teaching on praying with the heart was given in this same book,
2371The Philokalia. He begged me eagerly to read the whole thing to him.
2372
2373" 'This is what we will do,' said I. 'When are you starting for Tobolsk?'
2374
2375" 'Straight away,' he answered.
2376
2377" 'Very well then, I am also going to take the road again tomorrow. We will go
2378together and I will read it all to you, all about praying with the heart, and I will show
2379you how to find where your heart is, and to enter it.'
2380
2381" 'And what about the cart?' he asked.
2382
2383" 'What does the cart matter! We know how far it is to Tobolsk, a mere hundred
2384miles. We will take it easy, and think how nice it will be going along, just us two
2385together alone, talking and reading about the prayer as we go.' And so it was agreed.
2386"In the evening our host came himself to call us all to supper, and after the meal we
2387told him that the blind man and I were taking the road together, and that we did not
2388
238965:
2390
2391need a cart, so as to be able to read The Philokalia more easily. Hearing this he said,
2392'I also liked The Philokalia very much, and I have already written a letter and got the
2393money ready to send to Petersburg when I go into court tomorrow, so as to get a
2394copy sent me by return of post.'
2395
2396"So we set off on our way next morning, after thanking them very warmly for their
2397great love and kindness. Both of them came with us for more than half a mile from
2398their house. And so we bade each other good-bye.
2399
2400"We went on, the blind man and I, by easy stages, doing from six to ten miles a
2401day. All the rest of the time we spent sitting down in lonely places and reading The
2402Philokalia. I read him the whole part about praying with the heart, in the order which
2403my departed starets had shown me, that is, beginning with the writings of Nicephorus
2404the monk, Gregory of Sinai, and so on. How eagerly and closely he listened to it all,
2405and what happiness and joy it brought him! Then he began to put such questions to
2406me about prayer as my mind was not equal to finding answers to. When we had read
2407what we needed from The Philokalia, he eagerly begged me actually to show him the
2408way the mind finds the heart, how to bring the divine name of Jesus Christ into it, and
2409how to find the joy of praying inwardly with the heart. And I told him all about it thus:
2410"Now you, as a blind man, can see nothing. Yet as a matter of fact you can imagine
2411with your mind and picture to yourself what you have seen in time past, such as a
2412man or some object or other, or one of your own limbs. For instance, can you not
2413picture your hand or your foot as clearly as if you were looking at it? Can you not turn
2414your eyes to it and fix them upon it, blind as they are?'
2415
2416" 'Yes, I can,' he answered.
2417
2418" 'Then picture to yourself your heart in just the same way, turn your eyes to it just
2419as though you were looking at it through your breast, and picture it as clearly as you
2420can. And with your ears listen closely to its beating, beat by beat. When you have got
2421into the way of doing this, begin to fit the words of the prayer to the beats of the heart
2422one after the other, looking at it all the time. Thus, with the first beat, say or think
2423"Lord," with the second, "Jesus," with the third, "Christ," with the fourth, "have mercy,"
2424and with the fifth "on me." And do it over and over again.-This will come easily to you,
2425for you already know the groundwork and the first part of praying with the heart.
2426Afterward, when you have grown used to what I have just told you about, you must
2427
242866:
2429
2430begin bringing the whole prayer of Jesus into and out of your heart in time with your
2431breathing, as the Fathers taught. Thus, as you draw your breath in, say, or imagine
2432yourself saying, "Lord Jesus Christ," and as you breathe again, "have mercy on me."
2433Do this as often and as much as you can, and in a short space of time you will feel
2434a'slight and not unpleasant pain in your heart, followed by a warmth. Thus by God's
2435help you will get the joy of self-acting inward prayer of the heart. But then, whatever
2436you do, be on your guard against imagination and any sort of visions. Don't accept
2437any of them whatever, for the holy Fathers lay down most strongly that inward prayer
2438should be kept free from visions, lest one fall into temptation.'
2439
2440"The blind man listened closely to all this and began eagerly to do with his heart
2441what I had shown him, and he spent a long while at it, especially during the nighttime
2442at our halting places. In about five days' time he began to feel the warmth very much,
2443as well as a happiness beyond words in his heart, and a great wish to devote himself
2444unceasingly to this prayer, which stirred up in him a love of Jesus Christ.
2445
2446"From time to time he saw a light, though he could make out no objects in it. And
2447sometimes, when he made the entrance into his heart, it seemed to him as though a
2448flame, as of a lighted candle, blazed up strongly and happily in his heart, and rushing
2449outward through his throat flooded him with light; and in the light of this flame he
2450could see even far-off things. This did indeed happen once. We were walking through
2451a forest, and he was silent, wholly given up to the prayer. Suddenly he said to me,
2452'What a pity! The church is already on fire; there, the belfry has fallen.'
2453
2454" 'Stop this vain dreaming,' I answered, 'it is a temptation to you. You must put all
2455such fancies aside at once. How can you possibly see what is happening in the
2456town? We are still seven or eight miles away from it.'
2457
2458"He obeyed me and went on with his prayer in silence. Toward evening we came
2459to the town, and there as a matter of fact I saw several burnt houses and a fallen
2460belfry, which had been built with ties of timber, and people crowding around and
2461wondering how it was that the belfry had crushed no one in its fall. As I worked it out,
2462the misfortune had happened at the very same time as the blind man spoke to me
2463about it. And he began to talk to me on the matter. 'You told me,' said he, 'that this
2464vision of mine was vain, but here you see things really are as I saw them. How can I
2465fail to thank and to love the Lord Jesus Christ, Who shows His grace even to sinners
2466
246767:
2468
2469and the blind and the foolish! And I thank you also for teaching me the work of the
2470heart.'
2471
2472" 'Love Jesus Christ,' said I, 'and thank Him all you will. But beware of taking your
2473visions for direct revelations of grace. For these things may often happen quite
2474naturally in the order of things. The human soul is not bound by place and matter. It
2475can see even in the darkness, and what happens a long way off, as well as things
2476near at hand. Only we do not give force and scope to this spiritual power. We crush it
2477beneath the yoke of our gross bodies or get it mixed up with our haphazard thoughts
2478and ideas. But when we concentrate within ourselves, when we draw away from
2479everything around us and become more subtle and refined in mind, then the soul
2480comes into its own and works to its fullest power. So what happened was natural
2481enough. I have heard my departed starets say that there are people (even such as
2482are not given to prayer, but who have this sort of power, or gain it during sickness)
2483who see light even in the darkest of rooms, as though it streamed from every article
2484in it, and see things by it; who see their doubles and enter into the thoughts of other
2485people. But what does come directly from the grace of God in the case of the prayer
2486of the heart is so full of sweetness and delight that no tongue can tell of it, nor can it
2487be likened to anything material; it is beyond compare. Every feeling is base
2488compared with the sweet knowledge of grace in the heart.'
2489
2490"My blind friend listened eagerly to this and became still more humble. The prayer
2491grew more and more in his heart and delighted him beyond words. I rejoiced at this
2492with all my soul and thanked God from my heart that He had let me see so blessed a
2493servant of His. We got to Tobolsk at last. I took him to the almshouse, and leaving
2494him there with a loving farewell, I went on my own way.
2495
2496"I went along without hurrying for about a month with a deep sense of the way in
2497which good lives teach us and spur us on to copy them. I read The Philokalia a great
2498deal, and there made sure of everything I had told the blind man of prayer. His
2499example kindled in me zeal and thankfulness and love for God. The prayer of my
2500heart gave me such consolation that I felt there was no happier person on earth than
2501I, and I doubted if there could be greater and fuller happiness in the kingdom of
2502heaven. Not only did I feel this in my own soul, but the whole outside world also
2503seemed to me full of charm and delight. Everything drew me to love and thank God:
2504
250568:
2506
2507people, trees, plants, and animals. I saw them all as my kinsfolk; I found on all of
2508them the magic of the name of Jesus. Sometimes I felt as light as though I had no
2509body and were floating happily through the air instead of walking. Sometimes when I
2510withdrew into myself, I saw clearly all my internal organs and was filled with wonder
2511at the wisdom with which the human body is made. Sometimes I felt as joyful as if I
2512had been made czar. And at all such times of happiness, I wished that God would let
2513death come to me quickly and let me pour out my heart in thankfulness at His feet in
2514the world of spirits.
2515
2516"It would seem that somehow I took too great a joy in these feelings, or perhaps it
2517was just allowed by God's will, but for some time I felt a sort of quaking and fear in
2518my heart. Was there, I wondered, some new misfortune or trouble coming upon me
2519like what had happened after I met the girl again to whom I taught the prayer of
2520Jesus in the chapel? A cloud of such thoughts came down upon me, and I
2521remembered the words of the venerable John Karpathisky, who says that 'the master
2522will often submit to humiliation and endure disaster and temptation for the sake of
2523those who have profited by him spiritually.' I fought against the gloomy thoughts, and
2524prayed with more earnestness than ever. The prayer quite put them to flight, and
2525taking heart again I said, 'God's will be done, I am ready to suffer whatever Jesus
2526Christ sends me for my wickedness and pride.' And those to whom I had lately shown
2527the secret of entry into the heart and interior prayer had even before their meeting
2528with me been made ready by the direct and secret teaching of God.
2529
2530"Calmed by these thoughts, I went on my way again filled with consolation, having
2531the prayer with me and happier even than I had been before. It rained for a couple of
2532days, and the road was so muddy that I could hardly drag my feet out of the mire. I
2533was walking across the steppe, and in ten miles or so I did not find a single dwelling.
2534At last toward nightfall I came upon one house standing by itself right on the road.
2535Glad I was to see it, and I thought I would ask for a rest and a night's lodging here
2536and see what God sent for the morrow; perhaps the weather would get better. As I
2537drew near, I saw a tipsy old man in a soldier's cloak sitting on the zavalina. I greeted
2538him, saying, 'Could I perhaps ask someone to give me a night's lodging here?'
2539
2540" 'Who else could give it you but me?' he shouted. 'I'm master here. This is a post-
2541house, and I am in charge of it.'
2542
254369
2544
2545" 'Then will you allow me, sir, to spend the night at your house?'
2546
2547" 'Have you got a passport? Give some legal account of yourself.'
2548
2549"I handed him my passport and, holding it in his hands, he again asked, 'Where is
2550your passport?'
2551
2552" 'You have it in your hands,' I answered.
2553
2554" 'Well, come into the house,' said he.
2555
2556"He put his spectacles on, read the passport through, and said, 'All right, that's all
2557in order. Stay the night. I'm a good fellow really. Have a drink.'
2558
2559" 'I don't drink,' I answered, 'and never have.'
2560
2561" 'Well, please yourself, I don't care. At any rate have supper with us.'
2562
2563"They sat down to table, he and the cook, a young woman who also had been
2564drinking rather freely, and asked me to sit down with them. They quarreled all through
2565supper, hurling reproaches at each other, and in the end came to blows. The man
2566went off into the passage and to his bed in a lumber room, while the cook began to
2567tidy up and wash up the cups and spoons, all the while going on with the abuse of
2568her master. I took a seat, thinking it would be some time before she quieted down. So
2569I asked her where I could sleep, for I was very tired from my journey. 'I will make you
2570up a bed,' she answered. And she placed another bench against the one under the
2571front window, spread a felt blanket over them, and gave me a pillow. I lay down and
2572shut my eyes as though asleep. For a long while yet the cook bustled about, but at
2573last she tidied up, put out the fire, and was coming over toward me. Suddenly the
2574whole window, which was in a corner at the front of the house—frame, glass, and
2575splinters of wood—flew into shivers, which came showering down with a frightful
2576crash. The whole house shook, and from outside the window came a sickening
2577groan, and shouts and the noise of struggling. The woman sprang back in terror into
2578the middle of the room and fell in a heap on the floor. I jumped up with my wits all
2579astray, thinking the earth had opened under my feet. And the next thing I saw was
2580two drivers carrying a man into the house so covered with blood that you could not
2581even see his face. And this added still more to my horror. He was a king's messenger
2582who had galloped here to change horses. His driver had not taken the turn into the
2583gateway properly, the carriage pole stove in the window, and as there was a ditch in
2584
258570:
2586
2587front of the house, the carriage overturned and the king's messenger was thrown out,
2588cutting his head badly on a sharp post.
2589
2590"He asked for some water and wine to bathe his wound. Then he drank a glass,
2591and cried, 'Horses!'
2592
2593"I went up to him and said, 'Surely, sir, you won't travel any further with a wound
2594like that?'
2595
2596" 'A king's messenger has no time to be ill,' he answered, and galloped off.
2597
2598"The drivers dragged the senseless woman into a corner near the stove and
2599covered her with a rug, saying, 'She was badly scared. She'll come round all right.'
2600The master of the house had another glass and went back to bed, and I was left
2601alone. Very soon the woman got up again and began walking across the room from
2602corner to corner in a witless sort of way, and in the end she went out of the house. I
2603felt as though the shock had taken all the strength out of me, and after saying my
2604prayers I dropped asleep for a while before dawn.
2605
2606"In the morning I took leave of the old man and set off again, and as I walked I
2607sent up my prayer with faith and trust and thanks to the Father of all blessing and
2608consolation Who had saved me when I was in such great danger.
2609
2610"Some six years after this happened I was passing a convent and went into the
2611church to-pray. The kindly abbess welcomed me in her room after the liturgy, and
2612had tea served. Suddenly some unexpected guests came to see her, and she went
2613to them, leaving me with some of the nuns who waited on her in her cell. One of
2614them, who was pouring out tea, and was clearly a humble soul, made me curious
2615enough to ask whether she had been in the convent long.
2616
2617" 'Five years,' she answered. 'I was out of my mind when they brought me here,
2618and it was here that God had mercy on me. The mother abbess kept me to wait on
2619her in her cell and led me to take the veil.'
2620
2621" 'How came you to go out of your mind?' I asked.
2622
2623" 'It was fright,' said she. 'I used to work at a post- house, and late one night some
2624horses stove in a window. I was so terrified that it drove me out of my mind. For a
2625whole year my relations took me from one shrine to another, but it was only here that
2626I got cured.' When I heard this I rejoiced in spirit and praised God, Who so wisely
2627orders all things for the best.
2628
262971
2630
2631"I had a great many other experiences," I said, speaking to my spiritual father,
2632"but I should want three whole days and nights to tell you everything as it happened.
2633Still there is one other thing I will tell you about.
2634
2635"One clear summer's day I noticed a cemetery near the road, and what they call a
2636pogost, that is, a church with some houses for those who minister in it. The bells
2637were ringing for the liturgy, and I made my way toward it. People who lived round
2638about were going the same way, and some of them, before they got as far as the
2639church, were sitting on the grass. Seeing me hurrying along, they said to me, 'Don't
2640hurry, you'll have plenty of time for standing about when the service begins. Services
2641take a long while here: our priest is in bad health and goes very slowly.'
2642
2643"The service did, in fact, last a very long while. The priest was a young man, but
2644very thin and pale. He celebrated very slowly indeed, but with great devotion, and at
2645the end of the liturgy he preached with much feeling a beautiful and simple sermon
2646on how to grow in love for God. The priest asked me into his house and to stay to
2647dinner.
2648
2649"During the meal I said, 'How reverently and slowly you celebrate, Father!'
2650
2651"'Yes,' he answered, 'but my parishioners do not like it, and they grumble. Still,
2652there's nothing to be done about it. I like to meditate on each prayer and rejoice in it
2653before I say it aloud. Without that interior appreciation and feeling every word uttered
2654is useless both to myself and to others. Everything centers in the interior life, and in
2655attentive prayer! Yet how few concern themselves with the interior life,' he went on. 'It
2656is because they feel no desire to cherish the spiritual inward light.'
2657
2658" 'And how is one to reach that?' I asked. 'It would seem to be very difficult.'
2659
2660" 'Not at all,' was the reply. 'To attain spiritual enlightenment and become a man of
2661recollected interior life, you should take some one text or other of holy Scripture and
2662for as long a period as possible concentrate on that alone all your power of attention
2663and meditation; then the light of understanding will be revealed to you. You must
2664proceed in the same way about prayer. If you want it to be pure, right, and enjoyable,
2665you must choose some short prayer, consisting of few but forcible words, and repeat
2666it frequently and for a long while. Then you will find delight in prayer.'
2667
266872
2669
2670"This teaching of the priest pleased me very much. How practical and simple it
2671was, and yet at the same time how deep and how wise. I gave thanks to God, in my
2672thoughts, for showing me such a true pastor of his church.
2673
2674"When the meal was over, he said to me, 'You have a sleep after dinner while I
2675read the Bible and prepare my sermon for tomorrow.' So I went into the kitchen.
2676There was no one there except a very old woman sitting crouched in a corner
2677coughing. I sat down under a small window, took The Philokalia out of my knapsack,
2678and began to read quietly to myself. After a while I heard the old woman who was
2679sitting in the corner ceaselessly whispering the prayer of Jesus. It gave me great joy
2680to hear the Lord's most holy name spoken so often, and I said to her, 'What a good
2681thing it is, mother, that you are always saying the prayer. It is a most Christian and
2682most wholesome action.'
2683
2684" 'Yes,' she replied. 'The "Lord have mercy" is the only thing I have to lean on in
2685my old age.'
2686
2687" 'Have you made a habit of this prayer for long?'
2688
2689" 'Since I was quite young, yes, and I couldn't live without it, for the Jesus prayer
2690saved me from ruin and death.'
2691
2692" 'How? Please tell me about it, for the glory of God and in praise of the blessed
2693power of the prayer of Jesus.'
2694
2695"I put The Philokalia away in my knapsack and took a seat nearer to her, and she
2696began her story.
2697
2698" 'I used to be a young and pretty girl. My parents gave me in marriage, and the
2699very day before the wedding, my bridegroom came to see us. Suddenly, before he
2700had taken a dozen steps, he dropped down and died, without a single gasp. This
2701frightened me so that I utterly refused to marry at all. I made up my mind to live
2702unmarried, to go on a pilgrimage to the shrines and pray at them. However, I was
2703afraid to travel all by myself, young as I was; I feared evil people might molest me.
2704But an old woman- pilgrim whom I knew taught me wherever my road took me
2705always to say the Jesus prayer without stopping, and told me for certain that if I did,
2706no misfortune of any sort could happen to me on my way. I proved the truth of this,
2707for I walked even to far-off shrines and never came to any harm. My parents gave me
2708
270973
2710
2711the money for my journeys. As I grew old I lost my health, and now the priest here out
2712of the kindness of his heart gives me board and lodging.'
2713
2714"I was overjoyed to hear this, and knew not how to thank God for this day, in
2715which I had been taught so much by examples of spiritual life. Then, asking the kindly
2716and devout priest for his blessing, I set off again on my way, rejoicing.
2717"Then again, not so long ago, as I was making my way here through the Kazan
2718government, I had a chance of learning how the power of prayer in the name of
2719Jesus Christ is shown clearly and strongly even in those who use it without a will to
2720do so, and how saying the prayer often and for a long time is a sure and rapid way of
2721gaining its blessed fruits. It happened that I was to pass the night at a Tartar village.
2722On reaching it I saw a Russian carriage and coachman outside the window of one of
2723the huts. The horses were being fed nearby. I was glad to see all this and made up
2724my mind to ask for a night's lodging at the same place, thinking that I should at least
2725spend the night with Christians.14 When I came up to them I asked the coachman
2726where he was going, and he answered that his master was going from Kazan to the
2727Crimea. While I was talking with the coachman, his master pulled open the carriage
2728curtains from inside, looked out, and saw me. Then he said, '1 shall stay the night
2729here, too, but I have not gone into the hut, Tartar houses are so uncomfortable. I
2730have decided to spend the night in the carriage.' Then he got out, and as it was a fine
2731evening, we strolled about for a while and talked. He asked me a lot of questions and
2732talked about himself also, and this is what he told me:
2733
2734" 'Until I was sixty-five I was a captain in the navy, but as I grew old I became the
2735victim of gout—an incurable disease. So I retired from the service and lived, almost
2736constantly ill, on a farm of my wife's in the Crimea. She was an impulsive woman of a
2737volatile disposition, and a great cardplayer. She found it boring living with a sick man
2738and left me, going off to our daughter in Kazan, who happened to be married to a civil
2739servant there. My wife laid hands on all she could, and even took the servants with
2740her, leaving me with nobody but an eight-year-old boy, my godson. So I lived alone
2741for about three years. The boy who served me was a sharp little fellow, and capable
2742of doing all the household work. He did my room, heated the stove, cooked the gruel,
2743and got the samovar15 ready. But at the same time he was extraordinarily
2744mischievous and full of spirits. He was incessantly rushing about and banging and
2745
274674:
2747
2748shouting and playing, and up to all sorts of tricks, so that he disturbed me
2749exceedingly. And I, being ill and bored, liked to read spiritual books all the time. I had
2750one splendid book by Gregory Palamas, on the prayer of Jesus. I read it almost
2751continuously, and I used to say the prayer to some extent. But the boy hindered me,
2752and no threats and no punishment restrained him from indulging in his pranks. At last
2753I hit upon the following method. I made him sit on a bench in my room with me, and
2754bade him say the prayer of Jesus without stopping. At first this was extraordinarily
2755distasteful to him, and he tried all sorts of ways to avoid it and often fell silent. In
2756order to /make him do my bidding, I kept a cane beside me. When he said the prayer
2757I quietly read my book, or listened to jlow he was saying it. But let him stop for a
2758moment, and I showed him the cane; then he got frightened and took to the prayer
2759again. I found this very peaceful, and quiet reigned in the house. After a while I
2760noticed that now there was no need of the cane; the boy began to do my bidding
2761quite willingly and eagerly. Further, I observed a complete change in his mischievous
2762character: he became quiet and taciturn and performed his household tasks better
2763than before. I was glad of this and began to allow him more freedom. And what was
2764the result? Well, in the end he got so accustomed to the prayer that he was saying it
2765almost the whole time, whatever he was doing, and without any compulsion from me
2766at all. When I asked him about it, he answered that he felt an insuperable desire to
2767be saying the prayer always.
2768
2769"' "And what are your feelings while doing so?" I asked him.
2770
2771.... Nothing," said he, "only I feel that it's nice to be saying it."
2772
2773.... How do you mean—nice?"
2774
2775... I don't know how to put it exactly."
2776
2777.... Makes you feel cheerful, do you mean?"
2778
2779... Yes, cheerful."
2780
2781" 'He was twelve years old when the Crimean War broke out, and I went to stay
2782with my daughter at Kazan, taking him with me. Here he lived in the kitchen with the
2783other servants, and this bored him very much. He would come to me with complaints
2784that the others, playing and joking among themselves, bothered him also, and
2785laughed at him and so prevented him saying his prayer. In the end, after about three
2786
278775:
2788
2789months, he came to me and said, "I am going home. I'm unbearably sick of this place
2790and all this noise."
2791
2792.... How can you go alone for such a distance and in winter, too?" said I. "Wait,
2793
2794and when I go I'll take you with me." Next day my boy had vanished.
2795
2796" 'We sent everywhere to look for him, but nowhere could he be found. In the end
2797I got a letter from the Crimea, from the people who were on our farm, saying that the
2798boy had been found dead in my empty house on 4 April, which was Easter Monday.
2799He was lying peacefully on the floor of my room with his hands folded on his breast,
2800and in that same thin frockcoat that he always went about my house in, and which he
2801was wearing when he went away. And so they buried him in my garden.
2802
2803" 'When I heard this news I was absolutely amazed. How had the child reached
2804the farm so quickly? He started on 26 February and he was found on 4 April. Even
2805with God's help you want horses to cover two thousand miles in a month! Why, it is
2806nearly seventy miles a day! And in thin clothes, without a passport, and without a
2807farthing in his pocket into the bargain! Even supposing that someone may have given
2808him a lift on the way, still that in itself would be a mark of God's special providence
2809and care for him. That boy of mine, mark you, enjoyed the fruits of prayer,' concluded
2810this gentleman, 'and here am I, an old man, still not as far on as he.'
2811
2812"Later on I said to him, 'It is a splendid book, sir, the one by Gregory Palamas,
2813which you said you liked reading. I know it. But it treats rather of the oral prayer of
2814Jesus. You should read a book called The Philokalia. There you will find a full and
2815complete study of how to reach the spiritual prayer of Jesus in the mind and heart
2816also, and taste the sweet fruit of it.' At the same time I showed him my Philokalia. I
2817saw that he was pleased to have this advice of mine, and he promised that he would
2818get a copy for himself. And in my own mind I dwelt upon the wonderful ways in which
2819the power of God is shown in this prayer. What wisdom and teaching there was in the
2820story I had just heard! The cane taught the prayer to the boy, and what is more, as a
2821means of consolation it became a help to him. Are not our own sorrows and trials
2822which we meet with on the road of prayer in the same way the rod in God's hand?
2823Why then are we so frightened and troubled when our heavenly Father in the fullness
2824of His boundless love lets us see them, and when these rods teach us to be more
2825earnest in learning to pray, and lead us on to consolation which is beyond words?"
2826
282776:
2828
2829When I came to the end of the things I had to tell, I said to my spiritual father,
2830"Forgive me, in God's name. I have already chattered far too much. And the holy
2831Fathers call even spiritual talk mere babble if it lasts too long. It is time I went to find
2832my fellow-traveler to Jerusalem. Pray for me, a miserable sinner, that of His great
2833mercy God may bless my journey."
2834
2835"With all my heart I wish it, dear brother in the Lord," he replied. "May all the all-
2836loving grace of God shed its light on your path, and go with you, as the angel
2837Raphael went with Tobias!"
2838
2839The starets. A year had gone by since I last saw the pilgrim, when at length a gentle
2840knock on the door and a pleading voice announced the arrival of that devout brother
2841to the hearty welcome which awaited him.
2842
2843"Come in, dear brother; let us thank God together for blessing your journey and
2844bringing you back."
2845
2846The Pilgrim. Praise and thanks be to the Father on high for His bounty in all
2847things, which He orders as seems good to Him, and always for the good of us
2848pilgrims and strangers in a strange land. Here am I, a sinner, who left you last year,
2849again by the mercy of God thought worthy to see and hear your joyful welcome. And
2850of course you are waiting to hear from me a full account of the holy city of God,
2851Jerusalem, for which my soul was longing and toward which my purpose was firmly
2852set. But what we wish is not always carried out, and so it was in my case. And no
2853wonder, for why should I, a wretched sinner, be thought fit to tread that holy ground
2854on which the divine footsteps of our Lord Jesus Christ were printed?
2855
2856You remember, Father, that I left here last year with a deaf old man as a
2857companion, and that I had a letter from a merchant of Irkutsk to his son at Odessa
2858asking him to send me to Jerusalem. Well, we got to Odessa all right in no very long
2859time. My companion at once booked passage on a ship for Constantinople and set
2860off. I for my part set about finding the merchant's son, by the address on the letter. I
2861soon found his house, but there, to my surprise and sorrow, I learned that my
2862benefactor was no longer alive. He had been dead and buried three weeks before,
2863after a short illness. This made me very much cast down. But still, I trusted in the
2864power of God. The whole household was in mourning, and the widow, who was left
2865
286677:
2867
2868with three small children, was in such distress that she wept all the time and several
2869times a day would collapse in grief. Her sorrow was so great that it seemed as
2870though she too would not live long. All the same, in the midst of all this, she met me
2871kindly, though in such a state of affairs she could not send me to Jerusalem. But she
2872asked me to stay with her for a fortnight or so until her father-in-law came to Odessa,
2873as he had promised, to settle the affairs of the bereaved family.
2874
2875So I stayed. A week passed, a month, then another. But instead of coming, the
2876merchant wrote to say that his own affairs would not allow him to come, and advising
2877that she should pay off the assistants and that all should go to him at Irkutsk at once.
2878So a great bustle and fuss began, and as I saw they were no longer interested in me,
2879I thanked them for their hospitality and said good-bye. Once more I set off wandering
2880about Russia.
2881
2882I thought and thought. Where was I to go now? In the end I decided that first of all
2883I would go to Kiev, where I had not been for many years. So I set off. Of course I
2884fretted at first because I had not been able to carry out my wish to go to Jerusalem,
2885but I reflected that even this had not happened without the providence of God, and I
2886quieted myself with the hope that God, the lover of men, would take the will for the
2887deed, and would not let my wretched journey be without edification and spiritual
2888value. And so it turned out, for I came across the sort of people who showed me
2889many things that I did not know, and for my salvation brought light to my dark soul.
2890
2891If that necessity had not sent me on this journey, I should not have met those spiritual
2892benefactors of mine.
2893
2894So by day I walked along with the prayer, and in the evening when I halted for the
2895night I read my Philokalia, for the strengthening and stimulating of my soul in its
2896struggle with the unseen enemies of salvation.
2897
2898On the road about forty-five miles from Odessa I met with an astonishing thing.
2899There was a long train of wagons loaded with goods; there were about thirty of them,
2900and I overtook them. The foremost driver, being the leader, was walking beside his
2901horse, and the others were walking in a group some way from him. The road led past
2902a pond which had a stream running through it, and in which the broken ice of the
2903spring season was whirling about and piling up on the edges with a horrible noise. All
2904
290578:
2906
2907of a sudden the leading driver, a young man, stopped his horse, and the whole line of
2908carts behind had to come to a standstill too.. The other drivers came running up to
2909him and saw that he had begun to undress. They asked him why he was undressing.
2910He answered that he very much wanted to bathe in the pond. Some of the
2911astonished drivers began to laugh at him, others to scold him, calling him mad, and
2912the eldest there, his own brother, tried to stop him, giving him a push to make him
2913drive on. The other defended himself and had not the least wish to do as he was told.
2914Several of the young drivers started getting water out of the pond in the buckets with
2915which they watered the horses, and for a joke splashed it over the man who wanted
2916to bathe, on his head, or from behind, saying, "There you are; we'll give you a bath."
2917As soon as the water touched his body, he cried out, "Ah, that's good," and sat down
2918on the ground. They went on throwing water over him. Thereupon he soon lay down,
2919and then and there quietly died.
2920
2921They were all in a great fright, having no idea why it had happened. The older ones
2922bustled about, saying that the authorities ought to be told, while the rest came to the
2923conclusion that it was his fate to meet this kind of death.
2924
2925I stayed with them about an hour and then went on my way. About three and a
2926half miles farther on I saw a village on the high road, and as I came into it I met an
2927old priest walking along the street. I thought I would tell him about what I had just
2928seen and find out what he thought about it. The priest took me into his house, and I
2929told him the story and asked him to explain to me the cause of what had taken place.
2930
2931"I can tell you nothing about it, dear brother, except perhaps this, that there are
2932many wonderful things in nature which our minds cannot understand. This, I think, is
2933so ordered by God in order to show men the rule and providence of God in nature
2934more clearly, through certain cases of unnatural and direct changes in its laws. It
2935happens that I myself was once a witness of a similar case. Near our village there is
2936a very deep and steep-sided ravine, not very wide, but some seventy feet or more in
2937depth. It is quite frightening to look down to the gloomy bottom of it. A sort of
2938footbridge has been built over it. A peasant in my parish, a family man and very
2939respectable, suddenly, for no reason, was taken with an irresistible desire to throw
2940himself from this little bridge into that deep ravine. He fought against the idea and
2941
294279
2943
2944resisted the impulse for a whole week. In the end, he could hold himself back no
2945longer. He got up early, rushed off, and jumped into the abyss. They soon heard his
2946groans and with great difficulty pulled him out of the pit with his legs broken. When he
2947was asked the reason for his fall, he answered that although he was now feeling a
2948great deal of pain, yet he was calm in spirit, that he had carried out the irresistible
2949desire which had worried him so for a whole week, and that he had been ready to risk
2950his life to gratify his wish.
2951
2952"He was a whole year in hospital getting better. I used to go to see him and often
2953saw the doctors who were round him. Like you, I wanted to hear from them the cause
2954of the affair. With one voice the doctors answered that it was 'frenzy.' When I asked
2955them for a scientific explanation of what that was, and what caused it to attack a man,
2956I could get nothing more out of them, except that this was one of the secrets of nature
2957which were not revealed to science. I for my part observed that if in such a mystery of
2958nature a man were to turn to God in prayer, and also to tell good people about it, then
2959this ungovernable 'frenzy' of theirs would not attain its purpose.
2960
2961"Truly there is much to be met with in human life of which we can have no clear
2962understanding."
2963
2964While we were talking it was getting dark, and I stayed the night there. In the
2965morning the mayor sent his secretary to ask the priest to bury the dead jnan in the
2966cemetery, and to say that the doctors, after a postmortem, had found no signs
2967whatever of madness, and gave a sudden stroke as the cause of death.
2968
2969"Look at that now," said the priest to me, "medical science can give no precise
2970reason for his uncontrollable urge toward the water."
2971
2972And so I said good-bye to the priest and went on my way. After I had traveled for
2973several days and was feeling rather done-up, I came to a good-sized commercial
2974town called Byelaya Tserkov. As evening was already coming on, I started to look
2975around for a lodging for the night. In the market I came across a man who looked as
2976though he were a traveler too. He was making inquiries among the shops for the
2977address of a certain person who lived in the place. When he saw me he came up to
2978me and said, "You look as though you are a pilgrim too, so let's go together and find
2979a man by the name of Evreinov who lives in this town. He is a good Christian and
2980keeps a splendid inn, and he welcomes pilgrims. Look, I've got something written
2981
298280:
2983
2984down about him." I gladly agreed, and so we soon found his house. Although the host
2985himself was not at home, his wife, a nice old woman, received us very kindly and
2986gave us an out-of-the-way private little garret in the attic to rest in. We settled down
2987and rested for a while.
2988
2989Then our host came and asked us to have supper with them. During supper we
2990talked—who we were and where we came from—and somehow or other the talk
2991came round to the question of why he was called Evreinov. "I'll tell you an odd thing
2992about that," he said, and began his story.
2993
2994"You see, it was like this. My father was a Jew. He was born at Shklov, and he
2995hated Christians. From his very earliest years he was preparing to be a rabbi and
2996studied hard at all the Jewish chitchat which was meant to disprove Christianity. One
2997day he happened to be going through a Christian cemetery. He saw a human skull,
2998which must have been taken out of some grave that had been recently disturbed. It
2999had both its jaws, and there were some horrible-looking teeth in them. In a fit of
3000temper he began to jeer at this skull; he spat at it, abused it, and spurned it with his
3001foot. Not content with that, he picked it up and stuck it on a post—as they stick up the
3002bones of animals to drive off greedy birds. After amusing himself in this way, he went
3003home. The following night he had scarcely fallen asleep when suddenly an unknown
3004man appeared to him and violently upbraided him, saying, 'How dare you insult what
3005is left of my poor bones? I am a Christian—but as for you, you are the enemy of
3006Christ.' The vision was repeated several times every night, and he got neither sleep
3007nor rest. Then the same sight started flashing before his eyes during the daytime
3008also, and he would hear the echo of that reproachful voice. As time went on, the
3009vision got more frequent, and in the end he began to feel depressed and frightened
3010and to lose strength. He went to his rabbi, who read prayers and exorcisms over him.
3011But the apparition not only did not cease; it got even more frequent and threatening.
3012
3013"This state of affairs became known, and, hearing about it, a business friend of
3014his, a Christian, began to advise him to accept the Christian religion, and to urge
3015upon him that apart from that there was no way of ridding himself of this disturbing
3016apparition of his. But the Jew was loath to take this step. However, in reply he said, 'I
3017would gladly do as you wish, if only I could be free from this tormenting and
3018intolerable apparition.' The Christian was glad to hear this, and persuaded him to
3019
302081
3021
3022send in to the local bishop a request for baptism and reception into the Christian
3023church. The request was'written, and the Jew, not very eagerly, signed it. And lo and
3024behold, the very minute that the request was signed, the apparition came to an end
3025and never troubled him again. His joy was unbounded, and entirely at rest in mind,
3026he felt such a burning faith in Jesus Christ that he went straight away to the bishop,
3027told him the whole story, and expressed a heartfelt desire to be christened. He
3028eagerly and quickly learned the dogmas of the Christian faith, and after his baptism
3029he came to live in this town. Here he married my mother, a good Christian woman.
3030He led a devout and very comfortable life and he was most generous to the poor. He
3031taught me to be the same and before his death gave me his instructions about this,
3032together with his blessing. There you are—that's why my name is Evreinov."16
3033
3034I listened to this story with reverence and humility, and I thought to myself, "How
3035good and kind our Lord Jesus Christ is, and how great is His love! In what different
3036ways He draws sinners to Himself. With what wisdom He uses things of little
3037importance to lead on to great things. Who could have expected that the mischievous
3038pranks of a Jew with some dead bones would bring him to the true knowledge of
3039Jesus Christ and be the means of leading him to a devout life?"
3040
3041After supper we thanked God and our host and retired to our garret. We did not
3042want to go to bed yet, so we went on talking to each other. My companion told me
3043that he was a merchant of Mogilev, and that he had spent two years in Bessarabia as
3044a novice in one of the monasteries there, but only with a passport that expired at a
3045fixed date. He was now on his way home to get the consent of the merchant
3046community to his finally entering upon the monastic life. "The monasteries there
3047satisfy me, their constitution and order, and the strict life of many devout startsi who
3048live there." He assured me that putting the Bessarabian monasteries beside the
3049Russian was like comparing heaven with earth. He urged me to do the same.
3050
3051While we were talking about these things they brought still a third lodger into our
3052room. This was a noncommissioned officer, with the army for the time being, but now
3053going home on leave. We saw that he was tired out with his journey. We said our
3054prayers together and lay down to sleep. We were up early next morning and began to
3055get ready for the road, and we only just wanted to go and thank our host, when
3056
305782
3058
3059suddenly we heard the bells ringing for matins. The merchant and I began to consider
3060what we would do. How could we start after hearing the bells and without going to
3061church? It would be better to stay to matins, say our prayers in church, and then we
3062should go off more happily. So we decided, and we called the officer. But he said,
3063"What's the point of going to church while you are on a journey? What good is it to
3064God if we have been? Let's get off home and then say our prayers. You two go if you
3065want. I'm not going. By the time you have stood through matins I shall be three or
3066four miles or so farther on my way, and I want to get home as quickly as possible."
3067To this the merchant said, "Look here, brother, don't you run so far ahead with your
3068schemes until you know what God's plans are!" So we went to church, and he took
3069the road.
3070
3071We stayed through matins and the liturgy too. Then we went back to our garret to
3072get our knapsacks ready for the start, when what do we see but our hostess bringing
3073in the samovar. "Where are you off to?" she says. "You must have a cup of tea—yes,
3074and have dinner with us too. We can't send you away hungry." So we stayed. We
3075had not been sitting at the samovar for half an hour, when all of a sudden our
3076noncommissioned officer comes running in, all out of breath.
3077
3078"I've come to you in both sorrow and joy."
3079
3080"What's all this?" we asked him.
3081
3082This is what he said:
3083
3084"When I left you and started off, I thought I would look in at the pub to get change for
3085a note, and have a drink at the same time so as to get along better. So I did. I got my
3086change, had my drink, and was off like a bird. When I had gone about two miles I had
3087a mind to count the money the fellow at the pub had given me. I sat down by the
3088roadside, took out my pocketbook, and went through it. All serene. Then suddenly it
3089struck me that my passport was not there—only some papers and the money. I was
3090as frightened as if I'd lost my head. I saw in a flash what had happened. Of course I
3091had dropped it when I was settling up at the pub. I must run back. I ran and ran.
3092Another awful idea seized me— suppose it's not there! That will mean trouble! I
3093rushed up to the man behind the bar and asked him. 'I've not seen it,' he said. And
3094was I downhearted! Well, I searched around and hunted everywhere, wherever I had
3095stood and hung about. And what do you think? I was lucky enough to find my
3096
309783
3098
3099passport. There it was, still folded up and lying on the floor among the straw and
3100litter, all trampled in the dirt. Thank God! I was glad, I can tell you; it was as though a
3101mountain had rolled off my shoulders. Of course it was filthy and coated with mud,
3102enough to get me a clout on the head; still, that doesn't matter. At any rate I can get
3103home and back again with a whole skin. But I came to tell you about it. And what's
3104more, in my fright I've rubbed my foot absolutely raw with running and I can't possibly
3105walk. So I came to ask for some grease to bandage it up with."
3106
3107"There you are, brother," the merchant began, "that's because you wouldn't listen
3108and come with us to church. You wanted to get a long way ahead of us, and, on the
3109contrary, here you are back again, and lame into the bargain. I told you not to run so
3110far ahead with your schemes; and now see how it has turned out. It was a small thing
3111that you did not come to church, but besides that you used such language as, 'What
3112good does it do God if we pray?' That, brother, was bad. Of course, God does not
3113need our sinful prayers, but still, in His love for us He likes us to pray. And it is not
3114only that holy prayer which the Holy Spirit Himself helps us to offer and arouses in us
3115that is pleasing to Him, for He asks that of us when He says 'Abide in Me, and I in
3116you'; but every intention, every impulse, even every thought which is directed to
3117His glory and our own salvation is of value in His sight. For all these the boundless
3118loving kindness of God gives bountiful rewards. The love of God gives grace a
3119thousand fold more than human actions deserve. If you give Him the merest mite, He
3120will pay you back with gold. If you but purpose to go to the Father, He will come out to
3121meet you. You say but a word, short and unfeeling— 'Receive me, have mercy on
3122me'—and He falls on your neck and kisses you. That is what the love of the heavenly
3123Father is like toward us, unworthy as we are. And simply because of this love He
3124rejoices in every gesture we make toward salvation, however small. It looks like this
3125to you: What glory is there for God, what advantage for you, if you pray a little and
3126then your thoughts wander again, or if you do some small good deed, such as
3127reading a prayer, making five or ten acts of reverence, or giving a heartfelt sigh and
3128calling upon the name of Jesus, or attending to some good thought, or setting
3129yourself to some spiritual reading, or abstaining from some food, or bearing an affront
3130in silence—all that seems to you not enough for your full salvation and a fruitless
3131thing to do. No! None of these small acts is in vain; it will be taken into account by the
3132
313384:
3134
3135all-seeing eye of God and receive a hundredfold reward, not only in eternity, but in
3136this life. St. John Chrysostom asserts this. 'No good of any sort,' he says, 'however
3137trifling it may be, will be scorned by the righteous judge. If sins are searched out in
3138such detail that we shall give an answer for words and desires and thoughts, then so
3139much the more good deeds, however small they are, will be taken into account in all
3140detail, and will be reckoned to our merit before our judge, who is full of love.'
3141
3142"I will tell you a case which I saw myself last year. In the Bessarabian monastery
3143where I lived there was a starets, a monk of good life. One day a temptation beset
3144him. He felt a great longing for some dried fish. And as it was impossible to get any in
3145the monastery at that time, he was planning to go to the market and buy some. For a
3146long while he struggled against the idea, and reasoned with himself that a monk
3147ought to be content with the ordinary food provided for the brothers and by all means
3148to avoid self-indulgence. Moreover, to walk about the market among crowds of
3149people was also for a monk a source of temptation, and unseemly. In the end the lies
3150of the enemy got the upper hand of his reasoning and he, yielding to his self-will,
3151made up his mind and went for the fish. After he had left the building and was going
3152along the street, he noticed that his rosary was not in his hand, and he began to
3153think, 'How comes this, that I am going like a soldier without his sword? This is most
3154unseemly. And layfolk who meet me will criticize me and fall into temptation, seeing a
3155monk without his rosary!' He was going back to get it, but, feeling in his pocket, he
3156found it there. He pulled it out, crossed himself, and with his rosary in his hand went
3157calmly on. As he got near the market he saw a horse standing by a shop with a great
3158cartload of enormous tubs. All at once this horse, taking fright at something or other,
3159bolted with all its might and with thundering hoofs made straight for him, grazing his
3160shoulder and throwing him to the ground, though not hurting him very much. Then, a
3161couple of paces from him, that load toppled over and the cart was smashed to
3162splinters. Getting up quickly, naturally he was frightened enough, but at the same
3163time he marveled how God had saved his life, for if the load had fallen a split second
3164earlier, then he would have been smashed to pieces like the cart. Thinking no further
3165about it, he bought the fish, went back, ate it, said his prayers, and lay down to sleep.
3166
316785:
3168
3169"He slept lightly, and in his sleep a benign-looking starets whom he did not know
3170appeared to him, and said, 'Listen, I am the protector of this dwelling, and I wish to
3171teach you so that you will understand and remember the lesson now given you. Look
3172now: The feeble effort you made against the feeling of pleasure, and your sloth in
3173self-understanding and self-control, gave the enemy his chance to attack you. He
3174had got ready for you that fatal bombshell which exploded before your eyes. But your
3175guardian angel foresaw this and put into your mind the thought of offering a prayer
3176and remembering your rosary. Since you listened to this suggestion, obeyed, and put
3177it into action, it was just this that saved you from death. Do you see God's love for
3178men, and His bountiful reward of even a slight turning toward Him?' Saying this, the
3179visionary starets quickly left the cell. The monk bowed down at his feet, and in doing
3180so woke up, to find himself, not on his bed, but kneeling prostrate at the threshold of
3181the door. He told the story of this vision for the spiritual benefit of many people,
3182myself among them.
3183
3184"Truly boundless is the love of God for us sinners. Is it not marvelous that so
3185small an action—yes, just taking his rosary out of his pocket and carrying it in his
3186hand and calling once upon the name of God—should give a man his life, and that in
3187the scales of judgment upon men one short moment of callihg upon Jesus Christ
3188should outweigh many hours of sloth? In truth, here is the repayment of the tiny mite
3189with gold. Do you see, brother, how powerful prayer is and how mighty the name of
3190Jesus when we call upon it? St. John Karpathisky in The Philokalia says that when in
3191the prayer of Jesus we call upon the holy name and say, 'Have mercy on me, a
3192sinner,' then to every such petition the voice of God answers in secret, 'Son, thy sins
3193be forgiven thee.' And he goes on to say that when we say the prayer there is at that
3194moment nothing to distinguish us from the saints, confessors, and martyrs. For, as
3195St. Chrysostom says, 'Prayer, although we are full of sin when we utter it,
3196immediately cleanses us. God's loving-kindness to us is great, yet we sinners are
3197listless, are not willing to give even one small hour to God in thanksgiving, and barter
3198the time of prayer, which is more important than anything, for the bustle and cares of
3199living, forgetting God and our duty. For that reason we often meet with misfortunes
3200and calamities, yet even these the all-loving providence of God uses for our
3201instruction and to turn our hearts to Him.'"
3202
320386:
3204
3205When the merchant came to the end of his talk to the officer, I said to him, "What
3206comfort you have brought to my sinful soul too, your honor! I could bow down to your
3207very feet." Hearing this, he began to speak to me. "Ah, it seems you are a lover of
3208religious stories. Wait a moment and I'll read you another like the one I have just told
3209him. I've got here a book I travel with called Agapia, or The Salvation of Sinners.
3210There are a lot of wonderful things in it."
3211
3212He took the book out of his pocket and started reading a most beautiful story
3213about one Agathonik, a devout man who from his childhood had been taught by
3214pious parents to say every single day before the icon of the Mother of God the prayer
3215which begins "Rejoice, God-bearing maiden." And this he always did. Later, when he
3216had grown up and started life on his own, he got absorbed in the cares and fuss of
3217life and said the prayer but rarely, and finally gave it up altogether.
3218
3219One day he gave a pilgrim a lodging for the night, who told him he was a hermit
3220from the Thebaid and that he had seen a vision in which he was told to go to
3221Agathonik and rebuke him for having given up the prayer to the Mother of God.
3222Agathonik said the reason was that he had said the prayer for many years without
3223seeing any result whatever. Then the hermit said to him, "Remember, blind and
3224thankless one, how many times this prayer has helped you and saved you from
3225disaster. Remember how in your youth you were wonderfully saved from drowning?
3226Do you not recall that an epidemic of infectious disease carried off many of your
3227friends to the grave, but you remained in health? Do you remember, when you were
3228driving with a friend, you both fell out of the cart; he broke his leg, but you were
3229unhurt? Do you not know that a young man of your acquaintance who used to be well
3230and strong is now lying weak and ill, whereas you are in good health and feel no
3231pain?" And he reminded Agathonik of many other things. In the end he said, "Know
3232this, that all those troubles were warded off from you by the protection of the most
3233holy Mother of God because of that short prayer, by which you lifted up your heart
3234every day into union with God. Take care now, go on with it, and do not give up
3235praising the queen of heaven lest she should forsake you."
3236
3237When he had finished reading, they called us to dinner, and afterward, feeling our
3238strength renewed, we thanked our host and took the road. We parted, and each went
3239his own way as seemed best to him.
3240
324187:
3242
3243After that I walked on for about five days, cheered by the memory of the stories I
3244had heard from the good merchant in Byelaya Tserkov, and I began to get near to
3245Kiev. All at once and for no reason at all I began to feel dull and heavy, and my
3246thoughts got gloomy and dispirited. The prayer went with difficulty and a sort of
3247indolence came over me. So, seeing a wood with a thick undergrowth of bushes by
3248the side of the road, I went into it to rest a bit, looking for some out-of-the-way place
3249where I could sit under a bush and read my Philokalia, and so arouse my feeble spirit
3250and comfort my faintheartedness. I found a quiet place and began to read Kassian
3251the Roman in the fourth part of The Philokalia— on the eight thoughts. When I had
3252been reading happily for about half an hour, quite unexpectedly I noticed the figure of
3253a man some hundred yards or so away from me and farther in the forest. He was
3254kneeling quite motionless. I was glad to see this, for I gathered, of course, that he
3255was praying, and I began to read again. I went on reading for an hour or more and
3256then glanced up again. The man was still kneeling there and never stirred. All this
3257moved me very much and I thought, "What devout servants of God there are!"
3258
3259As I was turning it over in my mind, the man suddenly fell to the ground and lay
3260still. This startled me, and as I had not seen his face, for he had been kneeling with
3261his back to me, I felt curious to go and see who he was. When I got to him I found
3262him in a light sleep. He was a country lad, a young fellow of about twenty-five. He
3263had an attractive face, good-looking, but pale. He was dressed in a peasant's caftan
3264with a bast rope for a girdle. There was nothing else to note about him. He had no
3265kotomka,17 not even a stick. The sound of my approach awoke him, and he got up. I
3266asked him who he was, and he told me he was a state peasant of the Smolensk
3267government and that he was on his way from Kiev. "And where are you going to
3268now?" I asked.
3269
3270"I don't know myself where God will lead me," he answered.
3271
3272"Is it long since you left home?"
3273
3274"Yes, over four years."
3275
3276"And where have you been living all that time?"
3277
3278"I have been going from shrine to shrine and to monasteries and churches. There
3279was no point in staying at home. I'm an orphan and I have no relations. Besides, I've
3280got a lame foot. So I'm roaming about the wide world."
3281
328288:
3283
3284"Some God-fearing person, it seems, has taught you not just to roam anywhere,
3285but to visit holy places," said I.
3286
3287"Well, you see," he answered, "having no father or mother, I used to go about as
3288a boy with the shepherds of our village, and all went happily enough till I was ten
3289years old. Then one day when I had brought the flock home I never noticed that the
3290starosta's18 very best sheep was not among them. And our starosta was a bad and
3291inhuman peasant. When he came home that evening and found that his sheep was
3292lost, he rushed at me abusing and threatening. If I didn't go off and find the sheep, he
3293swore he'd beat me to death, and 'I'll break your arms and legs,' he said. Knowing
3294how cruel he was, I went after the sheep, searching the places where they had been
3295feeding in daylight. I searched and searched for more than half the night, but there
3296was not a trace of it anywhere. It was such a dark night, too, for it was getting on
3297toward autumn. When I had got very deep into the forest—and in our government the
3298forests are endless—suddenly a storm came up. It was as though the trees were all
3299rocking. In the distance, wolves started howling. Such a terror fell upon me that my
3300hair stood on end. What's more, it all got more and more horrible, so that I was ready
3301to drop with fear and horror. Then I fell on my knees and crossed myself, and with all
3302my heart I said, 'Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.' As soon as I had said that I
3303felt absolutely at peace, straight away, as if I had never been in any distress at all. All
3304my fear left me, and I felt as happy in my heart as if I had flown away to heaven. This
3305made me very glad, and—well, I just didn't stop saying the prayer. To this day I don't
3306know whether the storm lasted long and how the night went. I looked up and daylight
3307was coming, and there was I still kneeling in the same place. I got up quietly, I saw I
3308shouldn't find the sheep, and home I went. But all was well in my heart, and I was
3309saying the prayer to my heart's content. As soon as I got to the village the starosta
3310saw I hadn't brought the sheep back and thrashed me till I was half dead—he put this
3311foot out of joint, you see. I was laid up, almost unable to move, for six weeks after
3312that beating. All I knew was that I was saying the prayer and it comforted me. When I
3313got a bit better I began to wander about in the world, and as to be continually jostling
3314about in a crowd didn't interest me, and meant a good deal of sin, I took to roaming
3315from one holy place to another, and in the forests too. That's how I have spent nearly
3316five years now."
3317
331889
3319
3320When 1 heard this, my heart was very glad that God had thought me fit to meet so
3321good a man, and I asked him, "And do you often use the prayer now?"
3322
3323"I couldn't exist without it," he answered. "Why, if I only just call to mind how I felt
3324that first time in the forest, it's just as if someone pushed me down on my knees, and
3325I begin to pray. I don't know whether my sinful prayer is pleasing to God or not. For
3326as I pray, sometimes I feel a great happiness—why, I don't know—a lightness of
3327spirit, a happy sort of quiet; but at other times I feel a dull heaviness and lowness of
3328spirits. But for all that, I want to go on praying always till I die."
3329
3330"Don't be distressed, dear brother. Everything is pleasing to God and for our
3331salvation—everything, whatever it is that happens in time of prayer. So the holy
3332Fathers say. Whether it's lightness of heart or heaviness, it's all all right. No prayer,
3333good or bad, fails in God's sight. Lightness, warmth, and gladness show that God is
3334rewarding and consoling us for the effort, while heaviness, darkness, and dryness
3335mean that God is cleansing and strengthening the soul, and by this wholesome trial is
3336saying it, preparing it in humility for the enjoyment of blessed happiness in the future.
3337In proof of this I will read you something that St. John Klimax wrote."
3338
3339I found the passage and read it to him. He heard it through with care and enjoyed
3340it, and he thanked me very much for it. And so we parted. He went off right into the
3341depth of the forest and I went back to the road. I went on my way, thanking God for
3342treating me, sinner as I am, as fit to be given such teaching.
3343
3344Next day, by God's help, I came to Kiev. The first and chief thing I wanted was to
3345fast a while and to make my confession and communion in that holy town. So I
3346stopped near the saints,19 as that would be easier for getting to church. A good old
3347Cossack took me in, and as he lived alone in his hut, I found peace and quiet there.
3348At the end of a week, in which I had been getting ready for my confession, the
3349thought came to me that I would make it as detailed as I could. So I began to recall
3350and go over all my sins from youth onward very fully, and so as not to forget it all I
3351wrote down everything I could remember in the utmost detail. I covered a large sheet
3352of paper with it.
3353
3354I heard that at Kitaevaya Pustina, about five miles from Kiev, there was a priest of
3355ascetic life who was very wise and understanding. Whoever went to him for
3356confession found an atmosphere offender compassion and came away with teaching
3357
335890:
3359
3360for his salvation and ease of spirit. I was very glad to hear of this, and I went to him at
3361once. After I had asked his advice and we had talked awhile, I gave him my sheet of
3362paper to see. He read it through and then said, "Dear friend, a lot of this that you
3363have written is quite futile. Listen: First, don't bring into confession sins which you
3364have already repented of and had forgiven. Don't go over them again, for that would
3365be to doubt the power of the sacrament of penance. Next, don't call to mind other
3366people who have been connected with your sins; judge yourself only. Thirdly, the
3367holy Fathers forbid us to mention all the circumstances of the sins, and tell us to
3368acknowledge them in general, so as to avoid temptation both for ourselves and for
3369the priest. Fourthly, you have come to repent and you are not repenting of the fact
3370that you can't repent—that is, your penitence is lukewarm and careless. Fifthly, you
3371have gone over all these details, but the most important thing you have overlooked:
3372you have not disclosed the gravest sins of all. You have not acknowledged, nor
3373written down, that you do not love God, that you hate your neighbor, that you do not
3374believe in God's Word, and that you are filled with pride and ambition. A whole mass
3375of evil, and all our spiritual depravity is in these four sins. They are the chief roots out
3376of which spring the shoots of all the sins into which we fall."
3377
3378I was very much surprised to hear this, and I said, "Forgive me, reverend Father,
3379but how is it possible not to love God our creator and preserver? What is there to
3380believe in if not the Word of God, in which everything is true and holy? I wish well to
3381all my neighbors, and why should I hate them? I have nothing to be proud of; besides
3382having numberless sins, I have nothing at all which is fit to be praised, and what
3383should I with my poverty and ill-health lust after? Of course, if I were an educated
3384man, or rich, then no doubt I should be guilty of the things you spoke of." "It's a pity,
3385dear one, that you so little understood what I said. Look! It will teach you more quickly
3386if I give you these notes. They are what I always use for my own confession. Read
3387them through, and you will see clearly enough an exact proof of what I said to you
3388just now."
3389
3390He gave me the notes, and I began to read them, as follows:
3391A Confession which Leads the Inward Man to Humility
3392
3393Turning my eyes carefully upon myself and watching the course of my inward
3394state, I have verified by experience that I do not love God, that I have no love for my
3395
339691
3397
3398neighbors, that I have no religious belief, and that I am filled with pride and
3399sensuality. All this I actually find in myself as a result of detailed examination of my
3400feelings and conduct, thus:
3401
34021. I do not love God. For if I loved God I should be continually thinking about Him
3403with heartfelt joy. Every thought of God would give me gladness and delight. On the
3404contrary, I much more often and much more eagerly think about earthly things, and
3405thinking about God is labor and dryness. If I loved God, then talking with Him in
3406prayer would be my nourishment and delight and would draw me to unbroken
3407communion with Him. But, on the contrary, I not only find no delight in prayer, but
3408even find it an effort. I struggle with reluctance, I am enfeebled by sloth and am ready
3409to occupy myself eagerly with any unimportant trifle, if only it shortens prayer and
3410keeps me from it. My time slips away unnoticed in futile occupations, but when I am
3411occupied with God, when I put myself into His presence, every hour seems like a
3412year. If one person loves another, he thinks of him throughout the day without
3413ceasing, he pictures him to himself, he cares for him, and in all circumstances his
3414beloved friend is never out of his thoughts. But I, throughout the day, scarcely set
3415aside even a single hour in which to sink deep down into meditation upon God, to
3416inflame my heart with love of Him, while I eagerly give up twenty-three hours as
3417fervent offerings to the idols of my passions. I am forward in talk about frivolous
3418matters and things which degrade the spirit; that gives me pleasure. But in the
3419consideration of God I am dry, bored, and lazy. Even if I am unwillingly drawn by
3420others into spiritual conversation, I try to shift the subject quickly to one which
3421pleases my desires. I am tirelessly curious about novelties, about civic affairs and
3422political events; I eagerly seek the satisfaction of my love of knowledge in science
3423and art, and in ways of getting things I want to possess. But the study of the law of
3424God, the knowledge of God and of religion, make little impression on me, and satisfy
3425no hunger of my soul. I regard these things not only as a nonessential occupation for
3426a Christian, but in a casual way as a sort of side-issue with which I should perhaps
3427occupy my spare time, at odd moments. To put it shortly, if love for God is recognized
3428by the keeping of His commandments ("If ye love Me, keep My commandments,"
3429says our Lord Jesus Christ), and I not only do not keep them, but even make little
3430attempt to do so, then in absolute truth the conclusion follows that I do not love God.
3431
343292
3433
3434That is what Basil the Great says: "The proof that a man does not love God and His
3435Christ lies in the fact that he does not keep His commandments."
3436
34372.   I do not love my neighbor either. For not only am I unable to make up my mind
3438to lay down my life for his sake (according to the gospel), but I do not even sacrifice
3439my happiness, well-being, and peace for the good of my neighbor. If I did love him as
3440myself, as the gospel bids, his misfortunes would distress me also, his happiness
3441would bring delight to me too. But, on the contrary, I listen to curious, unhappy stories
3442about my neighbor, and I am not distressed; I remain quite undisturbed or, what is
3443still worse, I find a sort of pleasure in them. Bad conduct on the part of my brother I
3444do not cover up with love, but proclaim abroad with censure. His well-being, honor,
3445and happiness do not delight me as my own, and, as if they were something quite
3446alien to me, give me no feeling of gladness. What is more, they subtly arouse in me
3447feelings of envy or contempt.
3448
34493.   I have no religious belief. Neither in immortality nor in the gospel. If I were
3450firmly persuaded and believed without doubt that beyond the grave lies eternal life
3451and recompense for the deeds of this life, I should be continually thinking of this. The
3452very idea of immortality would terrify me and I should lead this life as a foreigner who
3453gets ready to enter his native land. On the contrary, I do not even think about
3454eternity, and I regard the end of this earthly life as the limit of my existence. The
3455secret thought nestles within me: Who knows what happens at death? If I say I
3456believe in immortality, then I am speaking about my mind only, and my heart is far
3457removed from a firm conviction about it. That is openly witnessed to by my conduct
3458and my constant care to satisfy the life of the senses. Were the holy gospel taken into
3459my heart in faith, as the Word of God, I should be continually occupied with it, I
3460should study it, find delight in it, and with deep devotion fix my attention upon it.
3461Wisdom, mercy, and love are hidden in it; it would lead me to happiness, I should find
3462gladness in the study of the law of God day and night. In it I should find nourishment
3463like my daily bread, and my heart would be drawn to the keeping of its laws. Nothing
3464on earth would be strong enough to turn me away from it. On the contrary, if now and
3465again I read or hear the Word of God, yet even so it is only from necessity or from a
3466general love of knowledge, and approaching it without any very close attention I find
3467
346893
3469
3470it dull and uninteresting. I usually come to the end of the reading without any profit,
3471only too ready to change over to secular reading in which I take more pleasure and
3472find new and interesting subjects.
3473
34744. I am full of pride and sensual self-love. All my actions confirm this. Seeing
3475something good in myself, I want to bring it into view, or to pride myself upon it before
3476other people or inwardly to admire myself for it. Although I display an outward
3477humility, yet I ascribe it all to my own strength and regard myself as superior to
3478others, or at least no worse than they. If I notice a fault in myself, I try to excuse it; I
3479cover it up by saying, "I am made like that" or "I am not to blame." I get angry with
3480those who do not treat me with respect and consider them unable to appreciate the
3481value of people. I brag about my gifts: my failures in any undertaking I regard as a
3482personal insult. I murmur, and I find pleasure in the unhap- piness of my enemies. If I
3483strive after anything good it is for the purpose of winning praise, or spiritual self-
3484indulgence, or earthly consolation. In a word, I continually make an idol of myself and
3485render it uninterrupted service, seeking in all things the pleasures of the senses and
3486nourishment for my sensual passions and lusts.
3487
3488Going over all this I see myself as proud, adulterous, unbelieving, without love for
3489God and hating my neighbor. What state could be more sinful? The condition of the
3490spirits of darkness is better than mine. They, although they do not love God, hate
3491men, and live upon pride, yet at least believe and tremble. But I? Can there be a
3492doom more terrible than that which faces me, and what sentence of punishment will
3493be more severe than that upon the careless and foolish life that I recognize in
3494myself?
3495
3496On reading through this form of confession which the priest gave me I was
3497horrified, and I thought to myself, "Good heavens! What frightful sins there are hidden
3498within me, and up to now I've never noticed them!" The desire to be cleansed from
3499them made me beg this great spiritual father to teach me how to know the causes of
3500all these evils and how to cure them. And he began to instruct me.
3501
3502"You see, dear brother, the cause of not loving God is want of belief, want of
3503belief is caused by lack of conviction, and the cause of that is failure to seek for holy
3504and true knowledge, indifference to the light of the spirit. In a word, if you don't
3505believe, you can't love; if you are not convinced, you can't believe, and in order to
3506
350794:
3508
3509reach conviction you must get a full and exact knowledge of the matter before you.
3510By meditation, by the study of God's Word, and by noting your experience, you must
3511arouse in your soul a thirst and a longing—or, as some call it, 'wonder'—which brings
3512you an insatiable desire to know things more closely and more fully, to go deeper into
3513their nature.
3514
3515"One spiritual writer speaks of it in this way: 'Love,' he says, 'usually grows with
3516knowledge, and the greater the depth and extent of the knowledge the more love
3517there will be, the more easily the heart will soften and lay itself open to the love of
3518God, as it diligently gazes upon the very fullness and beauty of the divine nature and
3519His unbounded love for men.'
3520
3521"So now you see that the cause of those sins which you read over is slothfulness
3522in thinking about spiritual things, sloth which stifles the feeling of the need of such
3523thought. If you want to know how to overcome this evil, strive after enlightenment of
3524spirit by every means in your power, attain it by diligent study of the Word of God and
3525of the holy Fathers, by the help of meditation and spiritual counsel, and by the
3526conversation of those who are wise in Christ. Ah, dear brother, how much disaster we
3527meet with just because we are lazy about seeking light for our souls through the word
3528of truth. We do not study God's law day and night, and we do not pray about it
3529diligently and unceasingly. And because of this our inner man is hungry and cold,
3530starved, so that it has no strength to take a bold step forward upon the road of
3531righteousness and salvation! And so, beloved, let us resolve to make use of these
3532methods, and as often as possible fill our minds with thoughts of heavenly things;
3533and love, poured down into our hearts from on high, will burst into flame within us.
3534We will do this together and pray as often as we can, for prayer is the chief and
3535strongest means for our renewal and well-being. We will pray, in the words holy
3536church teaches us: 'O God, make me fit to love Thee now, as I have loved sin in the
3537past.'"20 I listened to all this with care. Deeply moved, I asked this holy Father to hear
3538my confession and to give me communion. And so next morning after the honor of
3539my communion, I was for going back to Kiev with this blessed viaticum. But this good
3540father of mine, who was going to the Lavra21 for a couple of days, kept me for that
3541time in his hermit's cell, so that in its silence I might give myself up to prayer without
3542hindrance. And, in fact, I did spend both those days as though I were in heaven. By
3543
354495:
3545
3546the prayers of my starets I, unworthy as I am, rejoiced in perfect peace. Prayer
3547flowed out in my heart so easily and happily that during that time I think I forgot
3548everything, and myself; in my mind was Jesus Christ and He alone.
3549
3550In the end, the priest came back, and I asked his guidance and advice—where
3551should I go now on my pilgrim way? He gave me his blessing with these words, "You
3552go to Pochaev, make your reverence there to the wonder-working footprint22 of the
3553most pure mother of God, and she will guide your feet into the way of peace." And
3554so, taking his advice in faith, three days later I set off for Pochaev.
3555
3556For some 130 miles or so I traveled none too happily, for the road lay through pot-
3557houses and Jewish villages and I seldom came across a Christian dwelling. At one
3558farm I noticed a Russian Christian inn and I was glad to see it. I turned in at it to
3559spend the night and also to ask for some bread for my journey, for my rusks were
3560coming to an end. Here I saw the host, an old man with a well-to-do air and who, I
3561learned, came from the same government that I did—the Orlovsky. Directly I went
3562into the room, his first question was, "What religion are you?"
3563
3564I replied that I was a Christian, and pravoslavny.23 "Pravoslavny, indeed," said he
3565with a laugh. "You people are pravoslavny only in word—in act you are heathen. I
3566know all about your religion, brother. A learned priest once tempted me and I tried it. I
3567joined your church and stayed in it for six months. After that I came back to the ways
3568of our society. To join your church is just a snare. The readers mumble the service all
3569anyhow, with things missed out and things you can't understand. And the singing is
3570no better than you hear in a pub. And the people stand all in a huddle, men and
3571women all mixed up; they talk while the service is going on, turn round and stare
3572about, walk to and fro, and give you no peace and quiet to say your prayers. What
3573sort of worship do you call that? It's just a sin! Now, with us how devout the service
3574is; you can hear what's said, nothing is missed out, the singing is most moving, and
3575the people stand quietly, the men by themselves, the women by themselves, and
3576everybody knows what reverence to make and when, as holy church directs. Really
3577and truly, when you come into a church of ours, you feel you have come to the
3578worship of God; but in one of yours you can't imagine what you've come to—to
3579church or to market!"
3580
358196:
3582
3583From all this I saw that the old man was a diehard raskolnik.24 But he spoke so
3584plausibly, I could not argue with him nor convert him. I just thought to myself that it
3585will be impossible to convert the old believers to the true church until church services
3586are put right among us and until the clergy in particular set an example in this. The
3587raskolnik knows nothing of the inner life; he relies upon externals, and it is about
3588them that we are careless.
3589
3590So I wanted to get away from here and had already gone out into the hall when to
3591my surprise I saw through the open door of a private room a man who did not look
3592like a Russian; he was lying on a bed and reading a book. He beckoned me and
3593asked me who I was. I told him.
3594
3595And then he began, "Listen, dear friend. Won't you agree to look after a sick man,
3596say for a week, until by God's help I get better? I am a Greek, a monk from Mount
3597Athos. I'm in Russia to collect alms for my monastery, and on my way back I've fallen
3598ill, so that I can't walk for the pain in my legs. So I've taken this room here. Don't say
3599no, servant of God! I'll pay you."
3600
3601"There is no need whatever to pay me. I will very gladly look after you as best I
3602can in the name of God." So I stayed with him. I heard a great deal from him about
3603the things that concern the salvation of our souls. He told me about Athos, the holy
3604mountain, about the great podvizhniki25 there, and about the many hermits and
3605anchorites. He had with him a copy of The Philokalia in Greek, and a book by Isaac
3606the Syrian. We read together and compared the Slavonic translation by Paisy
3607Velichovsky with the Greek original. He declared that it would be impossible to
3608translate from Greek more accurately and faithfully than The Philokalia had been
3609turned into Slavonic by Paisy.
3610
3611As I noticed that he was always in prayer and versed in the inward prayer of the
3612heart, and as he spoke Russian perfectly, I questioned him on this matter. He readily
3613told me a great deal about it, and I listened with care. I even wrote down many things
3614that he said. Thus, for example, he taught me about the excellence and greatness of
3615the Jesus prayer in this way: "Even the very form of the Jesus prayer," he said,
3616"shows what a great prayer it is. It is made up of two parts. In the first part, 'Lord
3617Jesus Christ, Son of God,' it leads our thoughts to the life of Jesus Christ, or, as the
3618
361997:
3620
3621holy Fathers put it, it is the whole gospel in brief. In the second part, 'Have mercy on
3622me, a sinner,' it faces us with the story of our own helplessness and sinfulness. And it
3623is to be noted that the desire and petition of a poor, sinful, humble soul could not be
3624put into words more wise, more clear-cut, more exact than these—'have mercy on
3625me.' No other form of words would be as satisfying and full as this. For instance, if
3626one said, 'Forgive me, put away my sins, cleanse my transgressions, blot out my
3627offenses,' all that would express one petition only—asking to be set free from
3628punishment, the fear of a fainthearted and listless soul. But to say 'have mercy on
3629me' means not only the desire for pardon arising from fear, but is the sincere cry of
3630filial love, which puts its hope in the mercy of God and humbly acknowledges it is too
3631weak to break its own will and to keep a watchful guard over itself. It is a cry for
3632mercy—that is, for grace— which will show itself in the gift of strength from God, to
3633enable us to resist temptation and overcome our sinful inclinations. It is like a
3634penniless debtor asking his kindly creditor not only to forgive him the debt but also to
3635pity his extreme poverty and to give him alms—that is what these profound words
3636'have mercy on me' express. It is like saying, 'Gracious Lord, forgive me my sins and
3637help me to put myself right; arouse in my soul a strong impulse to follow Thy bidding.
3638Bestow Thy grace in forgiving my actual sins and in turning my heedless mind, will,
3639and heart to Thee alone.'"
3640
3641Upon this I wondered at the wisdom of his words and thanked him for teaching my
3642sinful soul, and he went on teaching me other wonderful things.
3643
3644"If you like," said he (and I took him to be something of a scholar, for he said he
3645had studied at the Athens Academy), "I will go on and tell you about the tone in which
3646the Jesus prayer is said. I happen to have heard many God-fearing Christian people
3647say the oral Jesus prayer as the Word of God bids them and according to the
3648tradition of holy church. They use it so both in their private prayers and in church. If
3649you listen carefully and as a friend to this quiet saying of the prayer, you can notice
3650for your spiritual profit that the tone of the praying voice varies with different people.
3651Thus, some stress the very first word of the prayer and say Lord Jesus Christ, and
3652then finish all the other words on one level tone. Others begin the prayer in a level
3653voice and throw the stress in the middle of the prayer, on the word Jesus as an
3654exclamation, and the rest, again, they finish in an unstressed tone, as they began.
3655
365698:
3657
3658Others, again, begin and go on with the prayer without stress until they come to the
3659last words—Have mercy on me—when they raise their voices in ecstasy. And some
3660say the whole prayer—Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner—
3661with all the stress upon the single phrase Son of God.
3662
3663"Now listen. The prayer is one and the same. Orthodox Christians hold one and
3664the same profession of faith. The knowledge is common to all of them that this
3665sublime prayer of all prayers includes two things: the Lord Jesus and the appeal to
3666Him. That is known to be the same for everybody. Why then do they not all express it
3667in the same way, why not all in the same tone, that is? Why does the soul plead
3668specially, and express itself with particular stress, not in one and the same place for
3669all, but in a certain place for each ? Many say of this that perhaps it is the result of
3670habit, or of copying other people, or that it depends upon a way of understanding the
3671words which corresponds with the individual point of view, or finally that it is just as it
3672comes most easily and naturally to each person. But I think quite differently about it. I
3673should like to look for something higher in it, something unknown not only to the
3674listener, but even to the person who is praying also. May there not be here a hidden
3675moving of the Holy Spirit making intercession for us with groanings which cannot be
3676uttered in those who do not know how and about what to pray? And if everyone prays
3677in the name of Jesus Christ, by the Holy Spirit, as the Apostle says, the Holy Spirit,
3678who works in secret and gives a prayer to him who prays, may also bestow His
3679beneficent gift upon all, notwithstanding their lack of strength. To one He may give
3680the reverent fear of God, to another love, to another firmness of faith, and to another
3681gracious humility, and so on.
3682
3683"If this be so, then he who has been given the gift of revering and praising the
3684power of the Almighty will in his prayers stress with special feeling the word Lord, in
3685which he feels the greatness and the might of the creator of the world. He who has
3686been given the secret outpouring of love in his heart is thrown into rapture and filled
3687with gladness as he exclaims Jesus Christ, just as a certain starets could not hear
3688the name of Jesus without a peculiar flood of love and gladness, even in ordinary
3689conversation. The unshakable believer in the godhead of Jesus Christ, of one
3690substance with the Father, is enkindled with still more fervent faith as he says the
3691words Son of God. One who has received the gift of humility and is deeply aware of
3692
369399
3694
3695his own weakness, with the words have mercy on me is penitent and humbled, and
3696pours out his heart most richly in these last words of the Jesus prayer. He cherishes
3697hope in the loving kindness of God and abhors his own falling into sin. There you
3698have the causes, in my opinion, of the differing tones in which people say the prayer
3699in the name of Jesus. And from this you may note as you listen, to the glory of God
3700and your own instruction, by what emotion anyone is specially moved, what spiritual
3701gift any one person has. A number of people have said to me on this subject, 'Why
3702do not all these signs of hidden spiritual gifts appear together and united? Then not
3703only one, but every word of the prayer would be imbued with one and the same tone
3704of rapture.' I have answered in this way: 'Since the grace of God distributes His gift in
3705wisdom to every man severally according to his strength, as we see from holy
3706Scripture, who can search out with his finite mind and enter into the dispositions of
3707grace? Is not the clay completely in the power of the potter, and is he not able to
3708make one thing or another out of the clay?'"
3709
3710I spent five days with this starets, and he began to get very much better in health.
3711This time was of so much profit to me that I did not notice how quickly it went. For in
3712that little room, in silent seclusion, we were concerned with nothing else whatever
3713than silent prayer in the name of Jesus, or talk about the same subject, interior
3714prayer.
3715
3716One day a pilgrim came to see us. He complained bitterly about the Jews and
3717abused them. He had been going about their villages and had to put up with their
3718unfriendliness and cheating. He was so bitter against them that he cursed them, even
3719saying they were not fit to live because of their obstinacy and unbelief. Finally he said
3720that he had such an aversion for them that it was quite beyond his control.
3721
3722"You have no right, friend," said the starets, "to abuse and curse the Jews like
3723this. God made them just as He made us. You should be sorry for them and pray for
3724them, not curse them. Believe me, the disgust you feel for them comes from the fact
3725that you are not grounded in the love of God and have no interior prayer as a security
3726and, therefore, no inward peace. I will read you a passage from the holy Fathers
3727about this. Listen, this is what Mark the podvizhnik writes: 'The soul which is inwardly
3728united to God becomes, in the greatness of its joy, like a good- natured, simple-
3729hearted child, and now condemns no one, Greek, heathen, Jew, nor sinner, but looks
3730
3731100:
3732
3733at them all alike with sight that has been cleansed, finds joy in the whole world, and
3734wants everybody—Greeks and Jews and heathen—to praise God.' And Macarius the
3735Great, of Egypt, says that the inward contemplative 'burns with so great a love that if
3736it were possible he would have everyone dwell within him, making no difference
3737between bad and good.' There, dear brother, you see what the holy Fathers think
3738about it. So I advise you to lay aside your fierceness, and look upon everything as
3739under the all-knowing providence of God, and when you meet with vexations accuse
3740yourself especially of lack of patience and humility."
3741
3742At last more than a week went by and my starets got well, and I thanked him from
3743my heart for all the blessed instruction that he had given me, and we said good-bye.
3744He set off for home and I started upon the way I had planned. Now I began to get
3745near to Pochaev. I had not gone more than seventy miles when a soldier overtook
3746me, and I asked him where he was going. He told me he was going back to his native
3747district in Kamenets Podolsk. We went along in silence for seven miles or so, and I
3748noticed that he sighed very heavily as though something were distressing him, and
3749he was very gloomy. I asked him why he was so sad.
3750
3751"Good friend, if you have noticed my sorrow and will swear by all you hold sacred
3752never to tell anybody, I will tell you all about myself, for I am near to death and I have
3753no one to talk to about it."
3754
3755I assured him, as a Christian, that I had not the slightest need to tell anybody
3756about it, and that out of brotherly love I should be glad to give him any advice that I
3757could.
3758
3759"Well, you see," he began, "I was drafted as a soldier from the state peasants.
3760After about five years' service it became intolerably hard for me; in fact, they often
3761flogged me for negligence and for drunkenness. I took it into my head to run away,
3762and here I am a deserter for the last fifteen years. For six years I hid wherever I
3763could. I stole from farms and larders and warehouses. I stole horses. I broke into
3764shops and followed this sort of trade, always on my own. I got rid of my stolen goods
3765in various ways. I drank the money, I led a depraved life, committed every sin. Only
3766my soul didn't perish. I got on very well, but in the end I got into jail for wandering
3767without a passport. But when a chance came I even escaped from there. Then
3768unexpectedly I met with a soldier who had been discharged from the service and was
3769
3770101
3771
3772going home to a distant government. As he was ill and could hardly walk he asked
3773me to take him to the nearest village where he could find lodging. So I took him. The
3774police allowed us to spend the night in a barn on some hay, and there we lay down.
3775When I woke up in the morning I glanced at my soldier and there he was dead and
3776stiff. Well, I hurriedly searched for his passport —that is to say, his discharge—and
3777when I found it and a fair amount of money too, while everybody was still asleep, I
3778was out of that shed and the backyard as quickly as I could, and so into the forest,
3779and off I went. On reading his passport I saw that in age and distinguishing marks he
3780was almost the same as 1.1 was very glad about this and went on boldly into the
3781depths of the Astrakhan government. There I began to steady down a bit and I got a
3782job as a laborer. I joined up with an old man there who had his own house and was a
3783cattle dealer. He lived alone with his daughter, who was a widow. When I had lived
3784with him for a year I married this daughter of his. Then the old man died. We could
3785not carry on the business. I started drinking again, and my wife too, and in a year we
3786had got through everything the old man had left. And then my wife took ill and died.
3787So I sold everything that was left, and the house, and 1 soon ran through the money.
3788
3789"Now I had nothing to live on, nothing to eat. So I went back to my old trade of
3790dealing in stolen goods, and all the more boldly now because I had a passport. So I
3791took to my old evil life again for about a year. There came a time when for a long
3792while I met with no success. I stole an old wretched horse from a bobil26 and I sold it
3793to the knackers for a bob. Taking the money, I went off to a pub and began to drink. I
3794had an idea of going to a village where there was a wedding, and while everybody
3795was asleep after the feasting I meant to pick up whatever I could. As the sun had not
3796yet set I went into the forest to wait for night. I lay down there and fell into a deep
3797sleep. Then I had a dream and saw myself standing in a wide and beautiful meadow.
3798Suddenly a terrible cloud began to rise in the sky, and then there came such a terrific
3799clap of thunder that the ground trembled underneath me, and it was as though
3800someone drove me up to my shoulders into the ground, which jammed against me on
3801all sides. Only my head and my hands were left outside. Then this terrible cloud
3802seemed to come down onto the ground and out of it came my grandfather, who had
3803been dead for twenty years. He was a very upright man and for thirty years was a
3804churchwarden in our village. With an angry and threatening face he came up to me
3805
3806102
3807
3808and I shook with fear. Round about nearby I saw several heaps of things which I had
3809stolen at various times. I was still more frightened. My grandfather came up to me
3810and, pointing to the first heap, said threateningly, 'What is that? Let him have it!' And
3811suddenly the ground on all sides of me began to squeeze me so hard that I could not
3812bear the pain and the faint- ness. I groaned and cried out, 'Have mercy on me,' but
3813the torment went on. Then my grandfather pointed to another heap and said again,
3814'What is that? Crush him harder!' And I felt such violent pain and agony that no
3815torture on earth could compare with it. Finally, that grandfather of mine brought near
3816me the horse that I had stolen the evening before, and cried out, 'And what is this?
3817Let him have it as hard as you can.' And I got such pain from all sides that I can't
3818describe it, it was so cruel, terrible, and exhausting. It was as though all my sinews
3819were being drawn out of me and I was suffocated by the frightful pain. I felt I could
3820not bear it and that I should collapse unconscious if that torture went on even a little
3821bit longer. But the horse kicked out and caught me on the cheek and cut it open, and
3822the moment I got that blow I woke up in utter horror and shaking like a weakling. I
3823saw that it was already daylight, the sun was rising. I touched my cheek and blood
3824was flowing from it; and those parts of me which in my dream had been in the ground
3825were all hard and stiff and I had pins and needles in them. I was in such terror that I
3826could hardly get up and go home. My cheek hurt for a long time. Look, you can see
3827the scar now. It wasn't there before. And so, after this, fear and horror often used to
3828come over me and now I only have to remember what I suffered in that dream for the
3829agony and exhaustion to begin again and such torture that I don't know what to do
3830with myself. What is more, it began to come more often, and in the end I began to be
3831afraid of people and to feel ashamed as though everybody knew my past dishonesty.
3832Then I could neither eat nor drink nor sleep because of this suffering. I was worn to a
3833ravel. I did think of going to my regiment and making a clean breast of everything.
3834
3835Perhaps God would forgive my sins if I took my punishment. But I was afraid, and I
3836lost my courage because they would make me run the gauntlet. And so, losing
3837patience, I wanted to hang myself. But the thought came to me that in any case I
3838shan't live for a very long time; I shall soon die, for I have lost all my strength. And so
3839I thought I would go and say good-bye to my home and die there. I have a nephew at
3840
3841103
3842
3843home. And here I am on my way there for six months now. And all the while grief and
3844fear make me miserable. What do you think, my friend? What am I to do? I really
3845can't bear much more."
3846
3847When I heard all this I was astonished, and I praised the wisdom and the
3848goodness of God, as I saw the different ways in which they are brought to sinners. So
3849I said to him, "Dear brother, during the time of that fear and agony you ought to have
3850prayed to God. That is the great cure for all our troubles."
3851
3852"Not on your life!" he said to me. "I thought that directly I began to pray, God
3853would destroy me."
3854
3855"Nonsense, brother; it is the devil puts thoughts like that into your head. There is
3856no end to God's mercy and He is sorry for sinners and quickly forgives all who
3857repent. Perhaps you don't know the Jesus prayer: 'Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on
3858me, a sinner.' You go on saying that without stopping."
3859
3860"Why, of course I know that prayer. I used to say it sometimes to keep my
3861courage up when I was going to do a robbery."
3862
3863"Now, look here. God did not destroy you when you were on your way to do
3864something wrong and said the prayer. Will He do so when you start praying on the
3865path of repentance? Now, you see how your thoughts come from the devil. Believe
3866me, dear brother, if you will say that prayer, taking no notice of whatever thoughts
3867come into your mind, then you will quickly feel relief. All the fear and strain will go,
3868and in the end you will be completely at peace. You will become a devout man, and
3869all sinful passions will leave you. I assure you of this, for I have seen a great deal of it
3870in my time."
3871
3872After that I told him about several cases in which the Jesus prayer had shown its
3873wonderful power to work upon sinners. In the end I persuaded him to come with me
3874to the Pochaev Mother of God, the refuge of sinners, before he went home, and to
3875make his confession and communion there.
3876
3877My soldier listened to all this attentively and, as I could see, with joy, and he
3878agreed to everything. We went to Pochaev together on this condition, that neither of
3879us should speak to the other, but that we should say the Jesus prayer all the time. In
3880this silence we walked for a whole day. Next day he told me that he felt much easier,
3881and it was plain that his mind was calmer than before. On the third day we arrived at
3882
3883104:
3884
3885Pochaev, and I urged him again not to break off the prayer either day or night while
3886he was awake, and assured him that the most holy name of Jesus, which is
3887unbearable to our spiritual foes, would be strong to save him. On this point I read to
3888him from The Philokalia that although we ought to say the Jesus prayer at all times, it
3889is especially needful to do so with the utmost care when we are preparing for
3890communion.
3891
3892So he did, and then he made his confession and communion. Although from time
3893to time the old thoughts still came over him, yet he easily drove them away with the
3894Jesus prayer. On Sunday, so as to be up for matins more easily, he went to bed
3895earlier and went on saying the Jesus prayer. I still sat in the corner and read my
3896Philokalia by a rushlight. An hour went past; he fell asleep and I set myself to prayer.
3897All of a sudden, about twenty minutes later, he gave a start and woke up, jumped
3898quickly out of bed, ran over to me in tears, and, speaking with the greatest
3899happiness, he said, "Oh, brother, what I have just seen! How peaceful and happy I
3900am; I believe that God has mercy upon sinners and does not torment them. Glory to
3901Thee, O Lord, glory to Thee."
3902
3903I was surprised and glad and asked him to tell me exactly what had happened to
3904him.
3905
3906"Why, this," he said. "Directly I fell asleep I saw myself in that meadow where they
3907tortured me. At first I Was terrified, but I saw that, instead of a cloud, the bright sun
3908was rising and a wonderful light was shining over the whole meadow. And I saw red
3909flowers and grass in it. Then suddenly my grandfather came up to me, looking nicer
3910than you ever saw, and he greeted me gently and kindly. And he said, 'Go to
3911Zhitomir, to the Church of St. George. They will take you under church protection.
3912Spend the rest of your life there and pray without ceasing. God will be gracious to
3913you.' When he said this he made the sign of the cross over me and straight away
3914vanished. I can't tell you how happy I felt; it was as though a load had been taken off
3915my shoulders and I had flown away to heaven. At that point I woke up, feeling easy in
3916my mind and my heart so full of joy that I didn't know what to do. What ought I to do
3917now? I shall start straight away for Zhitomir, as my grandfather told me. I shall find it
3918easy going with the prayer."
3919
3920105:
3921
3922"But wait a minute, dear brother. How can you start off in the middle of the night?
3923Stay for matins, say your prayers, and then start off with God."
3924
3925So we didn't go to sleep after this conversation. We went to church; he stayed all
3926through matins, praying earnestly with tears, and he said that he felt very peaceful
3927and glad and that the Jesus prayer was going on happily.
3928
3929Then after the liturgy he made his communion, and when we had had some food I
3930went with him as far as the Zhitomir road, where we said good-bye with tears of
3931gladness.
3932
3933After this I began to think about my own affairs. Where should I go now? In the
3934end I decided that I would go back again to Kiev. The wise teaching of my priest
3935there drew me that way, and, besides, if I stayed with him he might find some Christ-
3936loving philanthropist who would put me on my way to Jerusalem or at least to Mount
3937Athos. So I stopped another week at Pochaev, spending the time in recalling all I had
3938learned from those I had met on this journey and in making notes of a number of
3939helpful things. Then I got ready for the journey, put on my kotomka, and went to
3940church to commend my journey to the Mother of God. When the liturgy was over I
3941said my prayers and was ready to start. I was standing at the back of the church
3942when a man came in, not very richly dressed, but clearly one of the gentry, and he
3943asked me where the candles were sold. I showed him. At the end of the liturgy I
3944stayed praying at the shrine of the footprint. When I had finished my prayers I set off
3945on my way. I had gone a little way along the street when I saw an open window in
3946one of the houses at which a man sat reading a book. My way took me past that very
3947window and I saw that the man sitting there was the same one who had asked me
3948about the candles in church. As I went by I took off my hat, and when he saw me he
3949beckoned me to come to him, and said, "I suppose you must be a pilgrim?"
3950
3951"Yes," I answered.
3952
3953He asked me in and wanted to know who I was and where I was going. I told him
3954all about myself and hid nothing. He gave me some tea and began to talk to me.
3955
3956"Listen, my little pigeon, I should advise you to go to the Solovetsky27 monastery.
3957There is a very secluded and peaceful skeet28 there called Anzersky. It is like a
3958second Athos and they welcome everybody there. The novitiate consists only in this:
3959
3960106:
3961
3962that they take turns to read the psalter in church four hours out of the twenty-four. I
3963am going there myself and I have taken a vow to go on foot. We might go together. I
3964should be safer with you; they say it is a very lonely road. On the other hand, I have
3965got money and I could supply you with food the whole way. And I should propose we
3966went on these terms, that we walked half a dozen yards apart; then we should not be
3967in each other's way, and as we went we could spend the time in reading all the while
3968or in meditation. Think it over, brother, and do agree; it will be worth your while."
3969
3970When I heard this invitation I took this unexpected event as a sign for my journey
3971from the Mother of God whom I had asked to teach me the way to blessedness. And
3972without further thought I agreed at once. And so we set out the next day. We walked
3973for three days, as we had agreed, one behind the other. He read a book the whole
3974time, a book which never left his hand day or night; and at times he was meditating
3975about something. At last we came to a halt at a certain place for dinner. He ate his
3976food with the book lying open in front of him and he was continually looking at it. I
3977saw that the book was a copy of the Gospels, and I said to him, "May I venture to
3978ask, sir, why you never allow the Gospels out of your hand day or night? Why you
3979always hold it and carry it with you?"
3980
3981"Because," he answered, "from it and it alone I am almost continually learning."
3982
3983"And what are you learning?" I went on.
3984
3985"The Christian life, which is summed up in prayer. I consider that prayer is the
3986most important and necessary means of salvation and the first duty of every
3987Christian. Prayer is the first step in the devout life and also its crown, and that is why
3988the gospel bids unceasing prayer. To other acts of piety their own times are
3989assigned, but in the matter of prayer there are no off times. Without prayer it is
3990impossible to do any good and without the gospel you cannot learn properly about
3991prayer. Therefore, all those who have reached salvation by way of the interior life, the
3992holy preachers of the Word of God, as well as hermits and recluses, and indeed all
3993God-fearing Christians, were taught by their unfailing and constant occupation with
3994the depths of God's Word and by reading the gospel. Many of them had the gospel
3995constantly in their hands, and in their teaching about salvation gave the advice, 'Sit
3996down in the silence of your cell and read the gospel and read it again.' There you
3997have the reason why I concern myself with the gospel alone."
3998
3999107:
4000
4001I was very much pleased with this reasoning of his and with his eagerness for
4002prayer. I went on to ask him from which gospel in particular he got the teaching about
4003prayer. "From all four evangelists," he answered; "in a word, from the whole of the
4004New Testament, reading it in order. I have been reading it for a long time and taking
4005in the meaning, and it has shown me that there is a graduation and a regular chain of
4006teaching about prayer in the holy gospels, beginning from the first evangelist and
4007going right through in a regular order, in a system. For instance, at the very beginning
4008there is laid down the approach, or the introduction to teaching about prayer; then the
4009form or the outward expression of it in words. Farther on we have the necessary
4010conditions upon & which prayer may be offered, the means of learning it, and
4011examples; and finally the secret teaching about interior and spiritual ceaseless prayer
4012in the name of Jesus Christ, which is set forth as higher and more salutary than
4013formal prayer. And then comes its necessity, its blessed fruit, and so on. In a word,
4014there is to be found in the gospel full and detailed knowledge about the practice of
4015prayer, in systematic order or sequence from beginning to end."
4016
4017When I heard this I decided to ask him to show me all this in detail. So I said, "As
4018I like hearing and talking about prayer more than anything else, I should be very glad
4019indeed to see this secret chain of teaching about prayer in all its details. For the love
4020of God, then, show me all this in the gospel itself."
4021
4022He readily agreed to this and said, "Open your gospel; look at it and make notes
4023about what I say." And he gave me a pencil. "Be so good as to look at these notes of
4024mine. Now," said he, "look out first of all in the Gospel of St. Matthew the sixth
4025chapter, and read from the fifth to the ninth verses. You see that here we have the
4026preparation or the introduction, teaching that not for vainglory and noisily, but in a
4027solitary place and in quietude we should begin our prayer, and pray only for
4028forgiveness of sins and for communion with God, and not devising many and
4029unnecessary petitions about various worldly things as the heathen do. Then, read
4030farther on in the same chapter, from the ninth to the fourteenth verses. Here the form
4031of prayer is given to us—that is to say, in what sort of words it ought to be expressed.
4032There you have brought together in great wisdom everything that is necessary and
4033desirable for our life. After that, go on and read the fourteenth and fifteenth verses of
4034the same chapter, and you will see the conditions it is necessary to observe so that
4035
4036108:
4037
4038prayer may be effective. For unless we forgive those who have injured us, God will
4039not forgive our sins. Pass on now to the seventh chapter, and you will find in the
4040seventh to the twelfth verses how to succeed in prayer, to be bold in hope—ask,
4041seek, knock. These strong expressions depict frequency in prayer and the urgency of
4042practicing it, so that prayer shall not only accompany all actions but even come
4043before them in time. This constitutes the principal property of prayer. You will see an
4044example of this in the fourteenth chapter of St. Mark and the thirty-second to the
4045fortieth verses, where Jesus Christ Himself repeats the same words of prayer
4046frequently. St. Luke, chapter eleven, verses five to fourteen, gives a similar example
4047of repeated prayer in the parable of the friend at midnight and the repeated request
4048of the importunate widow (Luke 18:1-8), illustrating the command of Jesus Christ that
4049we should pray always, at all times and in every place, and not grow discouraged—
4050that is to say, not get lazy. After this detailed teaching we have shown to us in the
4051Gospel of St. John the essential teaching about the secret interior prayer of the heart.
4052In the first place we are shown it in the profound story of the conversation of Jesus
4053Christ with the woman of Samaria, in which is revealed the interior worship of God 'in
4054spirit and in truth' which God desires and which is unceasing true prayer, like living
4055water flowing into eternal life Q°hn 4:5-25). Farther on, in the fifteenth chapter, verses
4056four to eight, there is pictured for us still more decidedly the power and the might and
4057the necessity of inward prayer—that is to say, of the presence of the spirit in Christ in
4058unceasing remembrance of God. Finally, read verses twenty-three to twenty-five in
4059the sixteenth chapter of the same evangelist. See what a mystery is revealed here.
4060You notice that prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, or what is known as the Jesus
4061prayer—that is to say, 'Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me'—when frequently
4062repeated, has the greatest power and very easily opens the heart and blesses it. This
4063is to be noticed very clearly in the case of the apostles, who had been for a whole
4064year disciples of Jesus Christ, and had already been taught the Lord's Prayer by
4065Him—that is to say, 'Our Father' (and it is through them that we know it). Yet at the
4066end of His earthly life Jesus Christ revealed to them the mystery that was still lacking
4067in their prayers. So that their prayer might make a definite step forward He said to
4068them, 'Hitherto have ye asked nothing in My name. Verily I say unto you, whatsoever
4069ye shall ask the Father in My name He will give it you.' And so it happened in their
4070
4071109
4072
4073case. For, ever after this time, when the Apostles learned to offer prayers in the name
4074of Jesus Christ, how many wonderful works they performed and what abundant light
4075was shed upon them. Now, do you see the chain, the fullness of teaching about
4076prayer deposited with such wisdom in the holy gospel? And if you go on after this to
4077the reading of the Apostolic Epistles, in them also you can find the same successive
4078teaching about prayer.
4079
4080"To continue the notes I have already given you I will show you several places
4081which illustrate the properties of prayer. Thus, in the Acts of the Apostles the practice
4082of it is described—that is to say, the diligent and constant exercise of prayer by the
4083first Christians, who were enlightened by their faith in Jesus Christ (Acts 4:31). The
4084fruits of prayer are told to us, or the results of being constantly in prayer—that is to
4085say, the outpouring of the Holy Spirit and His gifts upon those who pray. You will see
4086something similar to this in the sixteenth chapter, verses twenty-five and twenty-six.
4087
4088Then follow it up in order in the apostolic Epistles and you will see (1) how necessary
4089prayer is in all circumstances (James 5:13-16); (2) how the Holy Spirit helps us to
4090pray Qude 20-21 and Rom. 8:26); (3) how we ought all to pray in the spirit (Eph.
40916:18); (4) how necessary calm and inward peace are to prayer (Phil. 4:6, 7); (5) how
4092necessary it is to pray without ceasing (1 Thess. 5:17); (6) and finally we notice that
4093one ought to pray not only for oneself but also for all men (1 Tim. 2:1-5). Thus, by
4094spending a long time with great care in drawing out the meaning we can find many
4095more revelations still of secret knowledge hidden in the Word of God, which escape
4096one if one reads it but rarely or hurriedly.
4097
4098"Do you notice, after what I have now shown you, with what wisdom and how
4099systematically the New Testament reveals the teaching of our Lord Jesus Christ on
4100this matter, which we have been tracing? In what a wonderful sequence it is put in all
4101four evangelists? It is like this. In St. Matthew we see the approach, the introduction
4102to prayer, the actual form of prayer, conditions of it, and so on. Go farther. In St. Mark
4103we find examples. In St. Luke, parables. In St. John, the secret exercise of inward
4104prayer, although this is also found in all four evangelists, either briefly or at length. In
4105the Acts the practice of prayer and the results of prayer are pictured for us; in the
4106apostolic Epistles, and in the Apocalypse itself, are many properties inseparably
4107
4108110:
4109
4110connected with the act of prayer. And there you have the reason that I am content
4111with the Gospels alone as my teacher in all the ways of salvation."
4112
4113All the while he was showing me this and teaching me I marked in the Gospels (in
4114my Bible) all the places which he pointed out to me. It seemed to me most
4115remarkable and instructive, and I thanked him very much.
4116
4117Then we went on for another five days in silence. My fellow-pilgrim's feet began to
4118hurt him very much, no doubt because he was not used to continuous walking. So he
4119hired a cart with a pair of horses and took me with him. And so we have come into
4120your neighborhood and have stayed here for three days, so that when we have had
4121some rest we can set off straight away to Anzersky, where he is so anxious to go.
4122
4123The Starets. This friend of yours is splendid. Judging from his piety he must be
4124very well instructed. I should like to see him.
4125
4126The Pilgrim. We are stopping in the same place. Let me bring him to you
4127tomorrow. It is late now. Good-bye. As I promised when I saw you yesterday, I have
4128asked my revered fellow-pilgrim, who solaced my pilgrim way with spiritual
4129conversation and whom you wanted to see, to come here with me.
4130
4131The Starets. It will be very nice both for me and, I hope, also for these revered
4132visitors of mine, to see you both and to have the advantage of hearing your
4133experiences. I have with me here a venerable skhimnik, and here a devout priest.
4134And so, where two or three are gathered together in the name of Jesus Christ, there
4135He promises to be Himself. And now, here are five of us in His name, and so no
4136doubt He will vouchsafe to bless us all the more bountifully. The story which your
4137fellow-pilgrim told me yesterday, dear brother, about your burning attachment to the
4138holy gospel, is most notable and instructive. It would be interesting to know in what
4139way this great and blessed secret was revealed to you.
4140
4141The Professor. The all-loving God, who desires that all men should be saved and
4142come to the knowledge of the truth, revealed it to me of His great loving-kindness in a
4143marvelous way, without any human intervention. For five years I was a professor and
4144I led a gloomy dissipated sort of life, captivated by the vain philosophy of the world,
4145and not according to Christ. Perhaps I should have perished altogether had I not
4146been upheld to some extent by the fact that I lived with my very devout mother
4147
4148111
4149
4150and my sister, who was a serious-minded young woman. One day, when I was taking
4151a walk along the public boulevard, I met and made the acquaintance of an excellent
4152young man who told me he was a Frenchman, a student who had not long ago
4153arrived from Paris and was looking for a post as tutor. His high degree of culture
4154delighted me very much, and he being a stranger in this country I asked him to my
4155home and we became friends. In the course of two months he frequently came to see
4156me. Sometimes we went for walks together and amused ourselves and went together
4157into company which I leave you to suppose was very immoral. At length he came to
4158me one day with an invitation to a place of that sort; and in order to persuade me
4159more quickly he began to praise the particular liveliness and pleasantness of the
4160company to which he was inviting me. After he had been speaking about it for a short
4161while, suddenly he began to ask me to come with him out of my study where we were
4162sitting and to sit in the drawing room. This seemed to me very odd. So I said that I
4163had never before noticed any reluctance on his part to be in my study, and what, I
4164asked, was the cause of it now? And I added that the drawing room was next door to
4165the room where my mother and sister were, and for us to carry on this sort of
4166conversation there would be unseemly. He pressed his point on various pretexts, and
4167finally came out quite openly with this: "Among those books on your shelves there
4168you have a copy of the Gospels. I have such a reverence for that book that in its
4169presence I find a difficulty in talking about our disreputable affairs. Please take it
4170away from here; then we can talk freely." In my frivolous way I smiled at his words.
4171Taking the Gospels from the shelf I said, "You ought to have told me that long ago,"
4172and handed it to him, saying, "Well, take it yourself and put it down somewhere in the
4173room." No sooner had I touched him with the Gospels than at that instant he trembled
4174and disappeared. This dumbfounded me to such an extent that I fell senseless to the
4175floor with fright. Hearing the noise, my household came running in to me, and for a
4176full half hour they were unable to bring me to my senses. In the end, when I came to
4177myself again, I was frightened and shaky and I felt thoroughly upset, and my hands
4178and my feet were absolutely numb so that I could not move them. When the doctor
4179was called in he diagnosed paralyis as the result of some great shock or fright. I was
4180laid up for a whole year after this, and with the most careful medical attention from
4181many doctors I did not get the smallest alleviation, so that as a result of my illness it
4182
4183112
4184
4185looked as though I should have to resign my position. My mother, who was growing
4186old, died during this period, and my sister was preparing to take the veil, and all this
4187increased my illness all the more. I had but one consolation during this time of
4188sickness, and that was reading the gospel, which from the beginning of my illness
4189never left my hands. It was a sort of pledge of the marvelous thing that had
4190happened to me. One day an unknown recluse came to see me. He was making a
4191collection for his monastery. He spoke to me very persuasively and told me that I
4192should not rely only upon medicines, which without the help of God were unable to
4193bring me relief, and that I should pray to God and pray diligently about this very thing,
4194for prayer is the most powerful means of healing all sicknesses both bodily and
4195spiritual.
4196
4197"How can I pray in such a position as this, when I have not the strength to make
4198any sort of reverence, nor can I lift my hands to cross myself?" I answered in my
4199bewilderment. To this he said, "Well, at any rate, pray somehow." But farther he did
4200not go, nor actually explain to me how to pray. When my visitor left me I seemed
4201almost involuntarily to start thinking about prayer and about its power and its effects,
4202calling to mind the instruction I had had in religious knowledge long ago when I was
4203still a student. This occupied me very happily and renewed in my mind my knowledge
4204of religious matters, and it warmed my heart. At the same time I began to feel a
4205certain relief in my attack of illness. Since the book of the Gospels was continually
4206with me, such was my faith in it as the result of the miracle; and as I remembered
4207also that the whole discourse upon prayer which I had heard in lectures was based
4208upon the gospel text, I considered that the best thing would be to make a study of
4209prayer and Christian devotion solely upon the teaching of the gospel. Working out its
4210meaning, I drew upon it as from an abundant spring, and found a complete system of
4211the life of salvation and of true interior prayer. I reverently marked all the passages on
4212this subject, and from that time I have been trying zealously to learn this divine
4213teaching, and with all my might, though not without difficulty, to put it into practice.
4214While I was occupied in this way, my health gradually improved, and in the end, as
4215you see, I recovered completely. As I was still living alone I decided in thankfulness
4216to God for His fatherly kindness, which had given me recovery of health and
4217enlightenment of mind, to follow the example of my sister and the prompting of my
4218
4219113
4220
4221own heart, and to dedicate myself to the solitary life, so that unhindered I might
4222receive and make my own those sweet words of eternal life given me in the Word of
4223God. So here I am at the present time, stealing off to the solitary skeet in the
4224Solovetsky monastery in the White Sea, which is called Anzersky, about which I have
4225heard on good authority that it is a most suitable place for the contemplative life.
4226
4227Further, I will tell you this. The holy gospel gives me much consolation in this journey
4228of mine, and sheds abundant light upon my untutored mind, and warms my chilly
4229heart. Yet the fact is that in spite of all I frankly acknowledge my weakness, and I
4230freely admit that the conditions of fulfilling the work of devotion and attaining
4231salvation, the requirement of thoroughgoing self-denial, of extraordinary spiritual
4232achievements, and of most profound humility which the gospel enjoins, frighten me
4233by their very magnitude and in view of the weak and damaged state of my heart. So
4234that I stand now between despair and hope. I don't know what will happen to me in
4235the future.
4236
4237The Skhimnik. With such an evident token of a special and miraculous mercy of
4238God, and in view of your education, it would be unpardonable not only to give way to
4239depression, but even to admit into your soul a shadow of doubt about God's
4240protection and help. Do you know what the God-enlightened Chrysostom says about
4241this? "No one should be depressed," he teaches, "and give the false impression that
4242the precepts of the gospel are impossible or impracticable. God who has predestined
4243the salvation of man has, of course, not laid commandments upon him with the
4244intention of making him an offender because of their impracticability. No, but so that
4245by their holiness and the necessity of them for a virtuous life they may be a blessing
4246to us, as in this life so in eternity." Of course the regular unswerving fulfillment of
4247God's commandments is extraordinarily difficult for our fallen nature and, therefore,
4248salvation is not easily attained, but that same Word of God which lays down the
4249commandments offers also the means not only for their ready fulfillment, but also
4250comfort in the fulfilling of them. If this is hidden at first sight behind a veil of mystery,
4251then that, of course, is in order to make us betake ourselves the more to humility, and
4252to bring us more easily into union with God by indicating direct recourse to Him in
4253
4254114:
4255
4256prayer and petition for His fatherly help. It is there that the secret of salvation lies, and
4257not in reliance upon one's own efforts.
4258
4259The Pilgrim. How I should like, weak and feeble as I am, to get to know that
4260secret, so that I might to some extent, at least, put my slothful life right, for the glory
4261of God and my own salvation.
4262
4263The Skhimnik. The secret is known to you, dear brother, from your book The
4264Philokalia. It lies in that unceasing prayer of which you have made so resolute a
4265study and in which you have so zealously occupied yourself and found comfort.
4266
4267The Pilgrim. I fall at your feet, reverend Father. For the love of God let me hear
4268something for my good from your lips about this saving mystery and about holy
4269prayer, which I long to hear about more than anything else, and about which I love
4270reading to get strength and comfort for my very sinful soul.
4271
4272The Skhimnik. I cannot satisfy your wish with my own thoughts on this exalted
4273subject, because I have had but very little experience of it myself. But I have some
4274very clearly written notes by a spiritual writer precisely on this subject. If the rest of
4275those who are talking with us would like it, I will get it at once and with your
4276permission I can read it to you all. All. Do be so kind, reverend Father. Do not keep
4277such saving knowledge from us.
4278
4279The Skhimnik.The Secret of Salvation, Revealed by Unceasing Prayer. How is one
4280saved? This godly question naturally arises in the mind of every Christian who
4281realizes the injured and enfeebled nature of man, and what is left of its original urge
4282toward truth and righteousness. Everyone who has even some degree of faith in
4283immortality and recompense in the life to come is involuntarily faced by the thought,
4284"How am I to be saved?" when he turns his eyes toward heaven. When he tries to
4285find a.solution to this problem, he inquires of the wise and learned. Then under their
4286guidance he reads edifying books by spiritual writers on this subject, and sets himself
4287unswervingly to follow out the truths and the rules he has heard and read. In all these
4288instructions he finds constantly put before him as necessary conditions of salvation a
4289devout life and heroic struggles with himself which are to issue in decisive denial of
4290self. This is to lead him on to the performance of good works, to the constant
4291fulfillment of God's laws, and thus witness to the unshakableness and firmness of his
4292
4293115:
4294
4295faith. Further, they preach to him that all these conditions of salvation must
4296necessarily be fulfilled with the deepest humility and in combination with one another.
4297For as all good works depend one upon another, so they should support one another,
4298complete and encourage one another, just as the rays of the sun only reveal their
4299strength and kindle a flame when they are focused through a glass on to one point.
4300Otherwise, "He that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much."
4301
4302In addition to this, to implant in him the strongest conviction of the necessity of this
4303complex and unified virtue, he hears the highest praise bestowed upon the beauty of
4304virtue, he listens to censure of the baseness and misery of vice. All this is imprinted
4305upon his mind by truthful promises either of majestic rewards and happiness or of
4306tormenting punishment and misery in the life to come. Such is the special character
4307of preaching in modern times. Guided in this way, one who ardently wishes for
4308salvation sets off in all joy to carry out what he has learned and to apply to
4309experience all he has heard and read. But alas! even at the first step he finds it
4310impossible to achieve his purpose. He foresees and even finds out by trial that his
4311damaged and enfeebled nature will have the upper hand of the convictions of his
4312mind, that his free will is bound, that his propensities are perverted, that his spiritual
4313strength is but weakness. He naturally goes on to the thought: Is there not to be
4314found some kind of means which will enable him to fulfill that which the law of God
4315requires of him, which Christian devotion demands, and which all those who have
4316found salvation and holiness have carried out? As the result of this and in order to
4317reconcile in himself the demands of reason and conscience with the inadequacy of
4318his strength to fulfill them, he applies once more to the preachers of salvation with the
4319question: How am I to be saved? How is this inability to carry out the conditions of
4320salvation to be justified; and are those who have preached all this that he has learned
4321themselves strong enough to carry it out unswervingly?
4322
4323Ask God. Pray to God. Pray for His help.
4324
4325"So would it not have been more fruitful," the inquirer concludes, "if I had, to begin
4326with and always in every circumstance, made a study of prayer as the power to fulfill
4327all that Christian devotion demands and by which salvation is attained?" And so he
4328goes on to the study of prayer: he reads, he meditates, he studies the teaching of
4329
4330116:
4331
4332those who have written on that subject. Truly he finds in them many luminous
4333thoughts, much deep knowledge, and words of great power. One reasons beautifully
4334about the necessity of prayer; another writes of its power, its beneficial effect—of
4335prayer as a duty, or of the fact that it calls for zeal, attention, warmth of heart, purity
4336of mind, reconciliation with one's enemies, humility, contrition, and the rest of the
4337necessary conditions of prayer. But what is prayer in itself? How does one actually
4338pray? A precise answer which can be understood by everybody to these questions,
4339primary and most urgent as they are, is very rarely to be found, and so the ardent
4340inquirer about prayer is again left before a veil of mystery. As a result of his general
4341reading there is rooted in his memory an aspect of prayer which, although devout, is
4342only external, and he arrives at the conclusion that prayer is going to church, crossing
4343oneself, bowing, kneeling, and reading psalms, kanons, and acathists.29 Generally
4344speaking, this is the view of prayer taken by those who do not know the writings of
4345the holy Fathers about inward prayer and contemplative action. At length, the seeker
4346comes across the book called Philokalia, in which twenty-five holy Fathers set forth in
4347an understandable way the scientific knowledge of the truth and of the essence of
4348prayer of the heart. This begins to draw aside the veil from before the secret of
4349salvation and of prayer. He sees that truly to pray means to direct the thought and the
4350memory, without relaxing, to the recollection of God, to walk in His divine presence,
4351to awaken oneself to His love by thinking about Him, and to link the name of God with
4352one's breathing and the beating of one's heart. He is guided in all this by the
4353invocation with the lips of the most holy name of Jesus Christ, or by saying the Jesus
4354prayer at all times and in all places and during every occupation, unceasingly. These
4355luminous truths, by enlightening the mind of the seeker and by opening up before him
4356the way to the study and achievement of prayer, help him to go on at once to put
4357these wise teachings into practice. Nevertheless, when he makes his attempts he is
4358still not free from difficulty until an experienced teacher shows him (from the same
4359book) the whole truth—that is to say, that it is prayer which is incessant which is the
4360only effective means for perfecting interior prayer and for the saving of the soul. It is
4361frequency of prayer that is the basis, that holds together the whole system of saving
4362activity. As Simeon the new theologian says, "He who prays without ceasing unites
4363
4364117:
4365
4366all good in this one thing." So in order to set forth the truth of this revelation in all its
4367fullness, the teacher develops it in the following way:
4368
4369For the salvation of the soul, first of all true faith is necessary. Holy Scripture says,
4370"Without faith it is impossible to please God" (Heb. 6:6). He who has not faith will be
4371judged. But from the same holy Scriptures one can see that man cannot himself bring
4372to birth in him faith even as a grain of mustard seed; that faith does not come from
4373us, since it is the gift of God; that faith is a spiritual gift. It is given by the Holy Spirit.
4374That being so, what is to be done? How is one to reconcile man's need of faith with
4375the impossibility of producing it from the human side? The way to do this is revealed
4376in the same holy Scriptures: "Ask, and it shall be given you." The Apostles could not
4377of themselves arouse the perfection of faith within them, but they prayed to Jesus
4378Christ, "Lord, increase our faith." There you have an example of obtaining faith. It
4379shows that faith is attained by prayer. For the salvation of the soul, besides true faith,
4380good works are also required, for "Faith, if it hath not works, is dead." For man is
4381judged by his works and not by faith alone. "If thou wilt enter into life, keep the
4382commandments: Do not kill; do not commit adultery; do not steal; do not bear false
4383witness; honor thy father and mother; love thy neighbor as thyself." And all these
4384commandments are required to be kept together. "For whosoever shall keep the
4385whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all" Games 2:10). So the
4386Apostle James teaches. And the Apostle Paul, describing human weakness, says:
4387"By the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified" (Rom. 3:20). "For we know
4388that the law is spiritual; but I am carnal, sold under sin... . For to will is present with
4389me, but how to perform that which is good I find not.... But the evil which I would not,
4390that I do. . . . With the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of
4391sin" (Rom. 7). How are the required works of the law of God to be fulfilled when man
4392is without strength and has no power to keep the commandments? He has no
4393possibility of doing this until he asks for it, until he prays about it. "Ye have not
4394because ye ask not" (James 4:2) the Apostle says is the cause. And Jesus Christ
4395Himself says: "Without Me ye can do nothing." And on the subject of doing it with
4396Him, He gives this teaching: "Abide in Me and I in you. He that abideth in Me and I in
4397him, the same bringeth forth much fruit." But to be in Him means continually to feel
4398His presence, continually to pray in His name. "If ye shall ask Me anything in My
4399
4400118:
4401
4402name, that will I do." Thus the possibility of doing good works is reached by prayer
4403itself. An example of this is seen in the Apostle Paul himself: Three times he prayed
4404for victory over temptation, bowing the knee before God the Father, that He would
4405give him strength in the inner man, and was at last bidden above all things to pray,
4406and to pray continually about everything.
4407
4408From what has been said above, it follows that the whole salvation of man
4409depends upon prayer and, therefore, it is primary and necessary, for by it faith is
4410quickened and through it all good works are performed. In a word, with prayer
4411everything goes forward successfully; without it, no act of Christian piety can be
4412done. Thus, the condition that it should be offered unceasingly and always belongs
4413exclusively to prayer. For the other Christian virtues, each of them has its own time.
4414But in the case of prayer, uninterrupted, continuous action is commanded. Pray
4415without ceasing. It is right and fitting to pray always, to pray everywhere. True prayer
4416has its conditions. It should be offered with a pure mind and heart, with burning zeal,
4417with close attention, with fear and reverence, and with the deepest humility. But what
4418conscientious person would not admit that he is far from fulfilling those conditions,
4419that he offers his prayer more from necessity, more by constraint upon himself than
4420by inclination, enjoyment, and love of it? About this, too, holy Scripture says that it is
4421not in the power of man to keep his mind steadfast, to cleanse it from unseemly
4422thoughts, for the "thoughts of man are evil from his youth," and that God alone gives
4423us another heart and a new spirit, for "both to will and to do are of God." The Apostle
4424Paul himself says: "My spirit [that is, my voice] prayeth, but my understanding is
4425unfruitful" (1 Cor. 14:14). "We know not what we should pray for as we ought" (Rom.
44268:26), the same writer asserts. From this it follows that we in ourselves are unable to
4427offer true prayer. We cannot in our prayers display its essential properties.
4428
4429Such being the powerlessness of every human being, what remains possible for
4430the salvation of the soul from the side of human will and strength? Man cannot
4431acquire faith without prayer; the same applies to good works. And finally, even to
4432pray purely is not within his power. What, then, is left for him to do? What scope
4433remains for the exercise of his freedom and his strength, so that he may not perish
4434but be saved?
4435
4436119
4437
4438Every action has its quality, and this quality God has reserved to His own will and
4439gift. In order that the dependence of man upon God, the will of God, may be shown
4440the more clearly, and that he may be plunged more deeply into humility, God has
4441assigned to the will and strength of man only the quantity of prayer. He has
4442commanded unceasing prayer, always to pray, at all times and in every place. By this
4443the secret method of achieving true prayer, and at the same time faith, and the
4444fulfillment of God's commandments, and salvation, are revealed. Thus, it is quantity
4445which is assigned to man, as his share; frequency of prayer is his own, and within the
4446«province of his will. This is exactly what the Fathers of the church teach. St.
4447Macarius the Great says truly to pray is the gift of grace. Isikhi says that frequency
4448of prayer becomes a habit and turns into second nature, and without frequent calling
4449upon the name of Jesus Christ it is impossible to cleanse the heart. The venerable
4450Callistus and Ignatius counsel frequent, continuous prayer in the name of Jesus
4451Christ before all ascetic exercises and good works, because frequency brings even
4452the imperfect prayer to perfection. Blessed Diadokh asserts that if a man calls upon
4453the name of God as often as possible, then he will not fall into sin. What experience
4454and wisdom there are here, and how near to the heart these practical instructions of
4455the Fathers are. In their experience and simplicity they throw much light upon the
4456means of bringing the soul to perfection. What a sharp contrast with the moral
4457instructions of the theoretical reason! Reason argues thus: Do such and such good
4458actions, arm yourself with courage, use the strength of your will, persuade yourself by
4459considering the happy results of virtue— for example, cleanse the mind and the heart
4460from worldly dreams, fill their place with instructive meditations; do good and you will
4461be respected and be at peace; live in the way that your reason and conscience
4462require. But alas! with all its strength, all that does not attain its purpose without
4463frequent prayer, without summoning the help of God.
4464
4465Now let us go on to some further teaching of the Fathers, and we shall see what
4466they say, for example, about purifying the soul. St. John of the ladder writes: "When
4467the spirit is darkened by unclean thoughts, put the enemy to flight by the name of
4468Jesus repeated frequently. A more powerful and effective weapon than this you will
4469not find, in heaven or on earth." St. Gregory the Sinaite teaches thus: "Know this, that
4470no one can control his mind by himself, and, therefore, at a time of unclean thoughts
4471
4472120:
4473
4474call upon the name of Jesus Christ often and at frequent intervals, and the thoughts
4475will quieten down." How simple and easy a method! Yet it is tested by experience.
4476What a contrast with the counsel of the theoretical reason, which presumptuously
4477strives to attain purity by its own efforts.
4478
4479Noting these instructions based upon the experience of the holy Fathers we pass
4480on to the real conclusion: that the principal, the only, and a very easy method of
4481reaching the goal of salvation and spiritual perfection is the frequency and the
4482uninterruptedness of prayer, however feeble it may be. Christian soul, if you do not
4483find within yourself the power to worship God in spirit and in truth, if your heart still
4484feels no warmth and sweet satisfaction in mental and interior prayer, then bring to the
4485sacrifice of prayer what you can, what lies within the scope of your will, what is within
4486your power. Let the humble instrument of your lips first of all grow familiar with
4487frequent persistent prayerful invocation. Let them call upon the mighty name of Jesus
4488Christ often and without interruption. This is not a great labor and is within the power
4489of everyone. This, too, is what the precept of the holy Apostle enjoins: "By Him,
4490therefore, let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our
4491lips, giving thanks to His name" (Heb. 8:15).
4492
4493Frequency of prayer certainly forms a habit and becomes second nature. It brings
4494the mind and the heart into a proper state from time to time. Suppose a man
4495continually fulfills this one commandment of God about ceaseless prayer, then in that
4496one thing he would have fulfilled all; for if he uninterruptedly, at all times, and in all
4497circumstances, offers the prayer, calling in secret upon the most holy name of Jesus
4498(although at first he may do so without spiritual ardor and zeal and even forcing
4499himself), then he will have no time for vain conversation, for judging his neighbors, for
4500useless waste of time in sinful pleasures of the senses. Every evil thought of his
4501would meet opposition to its growth. Every sinful act he contemplated would not
4502come to fruition so readily as with an empty mind. Much talking and vain talking
4503would be checked or entirely done away with, and every fault at once cleansed from
4504the soul by the gracious power of so frequently calling upon the divine name. The
4505frequent exercise of prayer would often recall the soul from sinful action and summon
4506it to what is the essential exercise of its skill, to union with God. Now do you see how
4507important and necessary quantity is in prayer? Frequency in prayer is the one
4508
4509121
4510
4511method of attaining pure and true prayer. It is the very best and most effective
4512preparation for prayer, and the surest way of reaching the goal of prayer, and
4513salvation.
4514
4515To convince yourself finally about the necessity and fruitfulness of frequent
4516prayer, note (1) that every impulse and every thought of prayer is the work of the
4517Holy Spirit and the voice of your guardian angel; (2) that the name of Jesus Christ
4518invoked in prayer contains in itself self-existent and self-acting salutary power, and,
4519therefore, (3) do not be disturbed by the imperfection or dryness of your prayer, and
4520await with patience the fruit of frequently calling upon the divine name. Do not listen
4521to the inexperienced, thoughtless insinuation of the vain world that lukewarm
4522invocation, even if it be importunate, is useless repetition. No; the power of the divine
4523name and the frequent calling upon it will reveal its fruit in its season. A certain
4524spiritual writer has spoken very beautifully about this. "I know," he says, "that to many
4525so-called spiritual and wise philosophers, who search everywhere for sham
4526greatness and practices that are noble in the eyes of reason and pride, the simple,
4527vocal, but frequent exercise of prayer appears of little significance, as a lowly
4528occupation, even a mere trifle. But, unhappy ones, they deceive themselves, and
4529they forget the teaching of Jesus Christ: 'Except ye be converted and become as little
4530children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven' (Matt. 18:3). They work out
4531for themselves a sort of science of prayer, on the unstable foundations of the natural
4532reason. Do we require much learning or thought or knowledge to say with a pure
4533heart, 'Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me'? Does not our divine teacher Himself
4534praise such frequent prayer? Have not wonderful answers been received and
4535wonderful works done by this same brief but frequent prayer? Ah, Christian soul,
4536pluck up your courage and do not silence the unbroken invocations of your prayer,
4537although it may be that this cry of yours comes from a heart which is still at war with
4538itself and half filled by the world. Never mind! Only go on with it and don't let it be
4539silenced and don't be disturbed. It will itself purify itself by repetition. Never let your
4540memory lose hold of this: 'Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world' (1
4541John 4:4). 'God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things,' says the Apostle."
4542»> And so, after all these convincing arguments that frequent prayer, so powerful in
4543all human weakness, is certainly attainable by man and lies fully within his own will,
4544
4545122
4546
4547make up your mind to try, even if only for a single day at first. Maintain a watch over
4548yourself and make the frequency of your prayer such that far more time is occupied in
4549the twenty-four hours with the prayerful calling upon the name of Jesus Christ than
4550with other matters. And this triumph of prayer over worldly affairs will in time certainly
4551show you that this day has not been lost, but has been secured for salvation; that in
4552the scales of the divine judgment frequent prayer outweighs your weaknesses and
4553evil- doing and blots out the sins of that day in the memorial book of conscience; that
4554it sets your feet upon the ladder of righteousness and gives you hope of sanctification
4555in the life to come.30
4556
4557The Pilgrim. With all my heart I thank you, holy Father. With that reading of yours
4558you have given pleasure to my sinful soul. For the love of God, be so kind as to allow
4559me to copy out for myself what you have read. I can do it in an hour or two.
4560Everything you read was so beautiful and comforting and is so understandable and
4561clear to my stupid mind, like The Philokalia, in which the holy Fathers treat the same
4562subject. Here, for instance, John Karpathisky in the fourth part of The Philokalia also
4563says that if you have not the strength for self-control and ascetic achievements, then
4564know that God is willing to save you by prayer. But how beautifully and
4565understandably all that is drawn out in your notebook. I thank God first of all, and
4566then you, that I have been allowed to hear it.
4567
4568The Professor. I also listened with great attention and pleasure to your reading,
4569reverend Father. All-arguments, when they rest upon strict logic, are a delight to me.
4570But at the same time it seems to me that they make the possibility of continual prayer
4571in a high degree dependent on circumstances which are favorable to it and upon
4572
4573entirely quiet solitude. For I agree that frequent and ceaseless prayer is a powerful
4574and unique means of obtaining the help of divine grace in all acts of devotion for the
4575sanctifying of the soul, and that it is within the power of man. But this method can be
4576used only when man avails himself of the possibility of solitude and quiet. In getting
4577away from business and worries and distractions he can pray frequently or even
4578continually. He then has to contend only with sloth or with the tedium of his own
4579thoughts. But if he is bound by duties and by constant business, if he necessarily
4580finds himself in a noisy company of people, and has an earnest desire to pray often,
4581
4582123
4583
4584he cannot carry out this desire because of the inevitable distractions. Consequently
4585the one method of frequent prayer, since it is dependent upon favorable
4586circumstances, cannot be used by everybody, nor belong to all.
4587
4588The Skhimnik. It is no use drawing a conclusion of that kind. Not to mention the
4589fact that the heart which has been taught interior prayer can always pray and call
4590upon the name of God unhindered during any occupation, whether of the body or of
4591the mind, and in any noise (those who know this know it from experience, and those
4592who do not know it must be taught by gradual training), one can confidently say that
4593no outward distraction can interrupt prayer in one who wishes to pray, for the secret
4594thought of man does not depend upon any link with external environment and is
4595entirely free in itself. It can at all times be perceived and directed toward prayer; even
4596the very tongue can secretly without outward sound express prayer in the presence
4597of many people and during external occupations. Besides, our business is surely not
4598so important and our conversation so interesting that it is impossible during them to
4599find a way at times of frequently calling upon the name of Jesus Christ, even if the
4600mind has not yet been trained to continuous prayer. Although, of course, solitude and
4601escape from distracting things does constitute the chief condition for attentive and
4602continuous prayer, still we ought to feel ourselves to blame for the rarity of our prayer,
4603because the amount and frequency is under the control of everybody, both the
4604healthy and the sick. It does lie within the scope of his will. Instances which prove this
4605are to be found in those who, although burdened by obligations, distracting duties,
4606cares, worries, and work, have not only always called upon the divine name of Jesus
4607Christ, but even in this way learned and attained the ceaseless inward prayer of the
4608heart. Thus the patriarch Photius, who was called to the patriarchal dignity from
4609among the ranks of the senators, while governing the vast diocese of Constantinople,
4610persevered continually in the invocation of the name of God, and thus attained even
4611the self-acting prayer of the heart. Thus Callistus on the holy Mount Athos learned
4612ceaseless prayer while carrying on his busy life as a cook. So the simple-hearted
4613Lazarus, burdened with continual work for the brotherhood, uninterruptedly, in the
4614midst of all his noisy occupations, repeated the Jesus prayer and was at peace. And
4615many others similarly have practiced the continuous invocation of the name of God.
4616
4617124:
4618
4619If it were an impossible thing to pray midst distracting business or in the society of
4620other people, then, of course, it would not have been bidden us. St. John
4621Chrysostom, in his teaching about prayer, speaks as follows: "No one should give the
4622answer that it is impossible for a man occupied with worldly cares, and who is unable
4623to go to church, to pray always. Everywhere, wherever you may find yourself, you
4624can set up an altar to God in your mind by means of prayer. And so it is fitting to pray
4625at your trade, on a journey, standing at the counter, or sitting at your handicraft.
4626Everywhere and in every place it is possible to pray, and, indeed, if a man diligently
4627turns his attention upon himself, then everywhere he will find convenient
4628circumstances for prayer, if only he is convinced of the fact that prayer should
4629constitute his chief occupation and come before every other duty. And in that case he
4630would, of course, order his affairs with greater decision; in necessary conversation
4631with other people he would maintain brevity, a tendency to silence, and a
4632disinclination for useless words; he would not be unduly anxious about worrying
4633things. And in all these ways he would find more time for quiet prayer. In such an
4634order of life all his actions, by the power of the invocation of the name of God, would
4635be signalized by success, and finally he would train himself to the uninterrupted
4636prayerful invocation of the name of Jesus Christ. He would come to know from
4637experience that frequency of prayer, this sole means of salvation, is a possibility for
4638the will of man, that it is possible to pray at all times, in all circumstances, and in
4639every place, and easily to rise from frequent vocal prayer to prayer of the mind and
4640from that to prayer of the heart, which opens up the kingdom of God within us.
4641
4642The Professor. I agree that during mechanical occupations it is possible and even
4643easy to pray frequently, even continuously; for mechanical bodily work does not
4644require profound exercise of the mind or great consideration, and, therefore, while it
4645is going on my mind can be immersed in continuous prayer and my lips follow in the
4646same way. But if I have to be occupied with something exclusively intellectual, as, for
4647instance, attentive reading, or thinking out some deep matter, or literary composition,
4648how can I pray with my mind and my lips in such a case? And since prayer is above
4649all things an action of the mind, how, at one and the same time, can I give one and
4650the same mind different sorts of things to do?
4651
4652125:
4653
4654The Skhimnik. The solution of your problem is not at all difficult, if we take into
4655consideration that people who pray continuously are divided into three classes. First,
4656the beginners; secondly, those who have made some progress; and thirdly, the fully
4657trained. Now, the beginners are frequently capable of experiencing at times an
4658impulse of the mind and heart toward God and of repeating short prayers with the
4659lips, even while engaged in mental work. Those who have made some progress and
4660reached a certain stability of mind are able to occupy themselves with meditation or
4661writing in the uninterrupted presence of God as the basis of prayer. The following
4662example will illustrate this. Imagine that a severe and exacting monarch ordered you
4663to compose a treatise on some abstruse subject in his presence, at the steps of his
4664throne. Although you might be absolutely occupied by your work, the presence of the
4665king who has power over you and who holds your life in his hands would still not
4666allow you to forget for a single moment that you are thinking, considering, and writing,
4667not in solitude, but in a place which demands of you particular reverence, respect,
4668and decorum. This lively feeling of the nearness of the king very clearly expresses
4669the possibility of being occupied in ceaseless inward prayer even during intellectual
4670work. So far as the others are concerned, those who by long custom or by the mercy
4671of God have progressed from prayer of the mind and reached prayer of the heart,
4672they do not break off their continuous prayer during profound mental exercises, nor
4673even during sleep itself. As the All Wise has told us, "I sleep, but my heart waketh"
4674(Cant. 5:2). Many, that is, who have achieved this mechanism of the heart acquire
4675such an aptitude for calling upon the divine name that it will of itself arouse itself to
4676prayer, incline the mind and the whole spirit to a flood of ceaseless prayer in
4677whatever condition the one who prays finds himself, and however abstract and
4678intellectual his occupation at the time.
4679
4680The Priest. Allow me, reverend Father, to say what is in my mind. Let me have a
4681turn and say a word or two. It was admirably put in the article you read that the one
4682means of salvation and of reaching perfection is frequency of prayer, of whatever
4683sort. Now, I do not very easily understand that, and it appears to me like this. What
4684would be the use if I pray and invoke the name of God continually with my tongue
4685only and pay no attention to, and do not understand, what I am saying? That would
4686be nothing but vain repetition. The result of it will only be that the tongue will go
4687
4688126:
4689
4690chattering on, and the mind, hindered in its meditations by this, will have its activity
4691impaired. God does not ask for words, but for an attentive mind and a pure heart.
4692Would it not be better to offer a prayer, be it only a short one, even rarely may be, or
4693only at stated times, but with attention, with zeal and warmth of heart, and with due
4694understanding? Otherwise, although you may say the prayer day and night, yet you
4695have not got purity of mind, you are not performing a work of devotion, not achieving
4696anything for your salvation. You are relying upon nothing but outward chatter, and
4697you get tired and bored, and in the end the result is that your faith in prayer is
4698completely chilled and you throw over altogether this fruitless proceeding. Further,
4699the uselessness of prayer with the lips only can be seen from what is revealed to us
4700in holy Scripture, as, for instance, "This people draweth nigh unto Me with their
4701mouth and honoreth Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me" (Matt. 15:8).
4702"Not everyone that saith unto Me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of Heaven"
4703(Matt. 7:21). "I had rather speak five words with my understanding . . . than ten
4704thousand words in an unknown tongue" (1 Cor. 14:19). All this shows the
4705fruitlessness of outward inattentive prayer with the mouth.
4706
4707The Skhimnik. There might be something in your point of view if with the advice to
4708pray with the mouth there were not added the need for it to be continuous, if prayer in
4709the name of Jesus Christ did not possess self- acting power and did not win for itself
4710attention and zeal as a result of continuity in the exercise. But as the matter now in
4711question is frequency, length of time, and uninter- ruptedness of prayer (although it
4712may be carried on at first inattentively or with dryness), then, on account of this very
4713fact, the conclusions that you mistakenly draw come to nothing. Let us look into the
4714matter a little more closely. One spiritual writer, after arguing the very great value and
4715fruitfulness of frequent prayer expressed in one form of words, says finally, "Many so-
4716called enlightened people regard this frequent offering of one and the same prayer as
4717useless and even trifling, calling it mechanical and a thoughtless occupation of simple
4718people. But unfortunately they do not know the secret which is revealed as a result of
4719this mechanical exercise; they do not know how this frequent service of the lips
4720imperceptibly becomes a genuine appeal of the heart, sinks down into the inward life,
4721becomes a delight, becomes, as it were, natural to the soul, bringing it light and
4722nourishment and leading it on to union with God." It seems to me that these
4723
4724127:
4725
4726censorious people are like those little children who were being taught the alphabet
4727and how to read. When they got tired of it they cried out, "Would it not be a hundred
4728times better to go fishing, like father, than to spend the whole day in ceaselessly
4729repeating a, b, c, or scrawling on a sheet of paper with a pen?" The value of being
4730able to read and the enlightenment which it brings, which they could have only as a
4731result of this wearisome learning the letters by heart, was a hidden secret to them. In
4732the same way the simple and frequent calling upon the name of God is a hidden
4733secret to those people who are not persuaded of its results and its very great value.
4734They, estimating the act of faith by the strength of their own inexperienced and
4735shortsighted reason, forget, in so doing, that man has two natures, in direct influence
4736one upon another, that man is made of body and soul. Why, for example, when you
4737desire to purify your soul, do you first of all deal with your body, make it fast, deprive
4738it of nourishment and stimulating food? It is, of course, in order that it may not hinder,
4739or, to put it better, so that it may be the means of promoting purity of soul and
4740enlightenment of mind, so that the continual feeling of bodily hunger may remind you
4741of your resolution to seek for inward perfection and the things pleasing to God, which
4742you so easily forget. And you find by experience that through the outward fast of your
4743body you achieve the inward refining of your mind, the peace of your heart, an
4744instrument for the taming of your passions, and a reminder of spiritual effort. And
4745thus, by means of outward and material things, you receive inward and spiritual profit
4746and help. You must understand the same thing about frequent prayer with the lips,
4747which by its long duration draws out the inward prayer of the heart and promotes
4748union of the mind with God. It is vain to imagine that the tongue, wearied by this
4749frequency and barren lack of understanding, will be obliged to give up entirely this
4750outward effort of prayer as useless. No; experience here shows us exactly the
4751opposite. Those who have practiced ceaseless prayer assure us that what happens
4752is this: One who has made up his mind to call without ceasing upon the name of
4753Jesus Christ or, what is the same thing, to say the Jesus prayer continuously, at first,
4754of course, finds difficulty and has to struggle against sloth. But the longer and the
4755harder he works at it, the more he grows familiar with the task imperceptibly, so that
4756in the end the lips and the tongue acquire such capacity for moving themselves that
4757even without any effort on his part they themselves act irresistibly and say the prayer
4758
4759128:
4760
4761voicelessly. At the same time the mechanism of the throat muscles is so trained that
4762in praying he begins to feel that the saying of the prayer is a perpetual and essential
4763property of himself, and even feels every time he stops as though something were
4764missing in him. And so it results from this that his mind in its turn begins to yield, to
4765listen to this- involuntary action of the lips, and is aroused by it to attention which in
4766the end becomes a source of delight to the heart, and true prayer.
4767
4768There you see the true and beneficent effect of continuous or frequent vocal
4769prayer, exactly the opposite of what people who have neither tried nor understood it
4770suppose. Concerning those passages in holy Scripture which you brought forward in
4771support of your objection, these are to be explained, if we make a proper examination
4772of them. Hypocritical worship of God with the mouth, ostentation about it, or insincere
4773praise in the cry, "Lord, Lord," Jesus Christ exposed for this reason, that the faith of
4774the proud Pharisees was a matter of the mouth only, and in no degree did their
4775conscience justify their faith, nor did they acknowledge it in their heart. It was to them
4776that these things were said, and they do not refer to saying prayers, about which
4777Jesus Christ gave direct, explicit, and definite instructions. "Men ought always to pray
4778and not to faint." Similarly, when the Apostle Paul says he prefers five words spoken
4779with the understanding to a multitude of words without thought or in an unknown
4780tongue in the church, he is speaking about teaching in general, not about prayer in
4781particular, on which subject he firmly says, "I will therefore that men pray everywhere"
4782(1 Tim. 2:8), and his is the general precept, "Pray without ceasing" (1 Thess. 5:17).
4783Do you now see how fruitful frequent prayer is, for all its simplicity, and what serious
4784consideration the proper understanding of holy Scripture requires?
4785
4786The Pilgrim. Truly it is so, reverend Father. I have seen many who quite simply,
4787without the light of any education whatever and not even knowing what attention is,
4788offer the prayer of Jesus with their mouths unceasingly. I have known them reach a
4789stage when their lips and tongue could not be restrained from saying the prayer. It
4790brought them such happiness and enlightenment, and changed them from weak and
4791negligent people into podvizhniki and champions of virtue.31
4792
4793The Skhimnik. Prayer brings a man to a new birth, as it were. Its power is so great
4794that nothing, no degree of suffering will stand against it. If you like, by way of saying
4795good-bye, brothers, I will read you a short but interesting article which I have with me.
4796
4797129
4798
4799All. We shall listen with the greatest pleasure.
4800
4801The Skhimnik.
4802
4803On the Power of Prayer
4804
4805Prayer is so powerful, so mighty, that "pray, and do what you like." Prayer will
4806guide you to right and just action. In order to please God nothing more is needed
4807than love. "Love, and do what you will," says the blessed Augustine,32 "for he who
4808truly loves cannot wish to do anything which is not pleasing to the one he loves."
4809Since prayer is the outpouring and the activity of love, then one can truly say of it
4810similarly, "Nothing more is needed for salvation than continuous prayer." "Pray, and
4811do what you will," and you will reach the goal of prayer. You will gain enlightenment
4812by it.
4813
4814To draw out our understanding of this matter in more detail, let us take some
4815examples:
4816
4817(1) ' 'Pray, and think what you will." Your thoughts will be purified by prayer. Prayer
4818will give you enlightenment of mind; it will remove and drive away all ill-judged
4819thoughts. This is asserted by St. Gregory the Sinaite. If you wish to drive away
4820thoughts and purify the mind, his counsel is "drive them away by prayer." For nothing
4821can control thoughts as prayer can. St. John of the ladder also says about this,
4822"Overcome the foes in your mind by the name of Jesus. You will find no other
4823weapon than this."
4824
4825(2)  "Pray, and do what you will." Your acts will be pleasing to God and useful and
4826salutary to yourself. Frequent prayer, whatever it may be about, does not remain
4827fruitless, because in it is the power of grace, "for whosoever shall call on the name of
4828the Lord shall be saved" (Acts 2:21). For example, a man who had prayed without
4829success and without devotion was granted through this prayer clearness of
4830understanding and a call to repentance. A pleasure-loving girl prayed on her return
4831home, and the prayer showed her the way to the virgin life and obedience to the
4832teaching of Jesus Christ.
4833
4834(3) "Pray, and do not labor much to conquer your passions by your own strength."
4835Prayer will destroy them in you. "For greater is He that is in you than he that is in the
4836world" (1 John 4:4), says holy Scripture. And St. John Karpathisky teaches that if you
4837have not the gift of self-control, do not be cast down, but know that God requires of
4838
4839130:
4840
4841you diligence in prayer and the prayer will save you. The starets about whom we are
4842told in the Otechnik33 that, when he fell into sin, did not give way to depression, but
4843betook himself to prayer and by it recovered his balance, is a case in point.
4844
4845(4) "Pray, and fear nothing." Fear no misfortunes, fear no disasters. Prayer will
4846protect you and ward them off. Remember St. Peter, who had little faith and was
4847sinking; St. Paul, who prayed in prison; the monk who was delivered by prayer from
4848the onset of temptation; the girl who was saved from the evil purpose of a soldier as
4849the result of prayer; and similar cases, which illustrate the power, the might, the
4850universality of prayer in the name of Jesus Christ.
4851
4852(5) Pray somehow or other, only pray always and be disturbed by nothing. Be gay
4853in spirit and peaceful. Prayer will arrange everything and teach you. Remember what
4854the saints—John Chrysostom and Mark the podvizhnik—say about the power of
4855prayer. The first declares that prayer, even though it be offered by us who are full of
4856sin, yet cleanses us at once. The latter says, "To pray somehow is within our power,
4857but to pray purely is the gift of grace." So offer to God what it is within your power to
4858offer. Bring to Him at first just quantity (which is within your power), and God will pour
4859upon you strength in your weakness. "Prayer, dry and distracted maybe, but
4860continuous, will establish a habit and become second nature and turn itself into
4861prayer that is pure, luminous, flaming, and worthy."
4862
4863(6)  It is to be noted, finally, that if the time of your vigilance in prayer is prolonged,
4864then naturally no time will be left not only for doing sinful actions but even for thinking
4865of them.
4866
4867Now, do you see what profound thoughts are focused in that wise saying, "Love,
4868and do what you will"; "Pray, and do what you will"? How comforting and consoling is
4869all this for the sinner overwhelmed by his weaknesses, groaning under the burden of
4870his warring passions.
4871
4872Prayer—there you have the whole of what is given to us as the universal means
4873of salvation and of the growth of the soul into perfection. Just that. But when prayer is
4874named, a condition is added. Pray without ceasing is the command of God's Word.
4875Consequently, prayer shows its most effective power and fruit when it is offered
4876often, ceaselessly; for frequency of prayer undoubtedly belongs to our will, just as
4877purity, zeal, and perfection in prayer are the gifts of grace.
4878
4879131
4880
4881And so we will pray as often as we can; we will consecrate our whole life to
4882prayer, even if it be subject to distractions to begin with. Frequent practice of it will
4883teach us attentiveness. Quantity will certainly lead on to quality. "If you want to learn
4884to do anything whatever well you must do it as often as possible," said an
4885experienced spiritual writer.
4886
4887The Professor. Truly prayer is a great matter, and ardent frequency of it is the key
4888to open the treasury of its grace. But how often I find a conflict in myself between
4889ardor and sloth. How glad I should be to find the way to gain the victory and to
4890convince myself and arouse myself to continuous application to prayer.
4891
4892The Skhimnik. Many spiritual writers offer a number of ways based upon sound
4893reasoning for stimulating diligence in prayer. For example, (1) they advise you to
4894steep your mind in thoughts of the necessity, the excellence, and the fruitfulness of
4895prayer for saving the soul; (2) make yourself firmly convinced that God absolutely
4896requires prayer of us and that His Word everywhere commands it; (3) always
4897remember that if you are slothful and careless about prayer you can make no
4898progress in acts of devotion nor in attaining peace and salvation and, therefore, will
4899inevitably suffer both punishment on earth and torment in the life to come; and (4)
4900enhearten your resolution by the example of the saints who all attained holiness and
4901salvation by the way of continuous prayer.
4902
4903Although all these methods have their value and arise from genuine
4904understanding, yet the pleasure-loving soul which is sick with listlessness, even when
4905it has accepted and used them, rarely sees the fruit of them, for this reason: these
4906medicines are bitter to its impaired sense of taste and too weak for its deeply injured
4907nature. For what Christian is there who does not know that he ought to pray often
4908and diligently, that God requires it of him, that we are punished for sloth in prayer,
4909that all the saints have ardently and constantly prayed? Nevertheless, how rarely
4910does all this knowledge show good results. Every observer of himself sees that he
4911justifies but little, and but rarely, these promptings of reason and conscience, and
4912through infrequent remembrance of them lives all the while in the same bad and
4913slothful way. And so, in their experience and godly wisdom, the holy Fathers,
4914knowing the weakness of will and the exaggerated love of pleasure in the heart of
4915man, take a special line about it, and in this respect put jam with the powder and
4916
4917132
4918
4919smear the edge of the medicine cup with honey. They show the easiest and most
4920effective means of doing away with sloth and indifference in prayer, in the hope, with
4921God's help, of attaining by prayer perfection and the sweet expectation of love for
4922God.
4923
4924They advise you to meditate as often as possible about the state of your soul and
4925to read attentively what the Fathers have written on the subject. They give
4926encouraging assurance that these enjoyable inward feelings may be readily and
4927easily attained in prayer, and say how much they are to be desired. Heartfelt delight,
4928a flood of inward warmth and light, ineffable enthusiasm, joy, lightness of heart,
4929profound peace, and the very essence of blessedness and happy content are all
4930results of prayer in the heart. By steeping itself in such reflections as these, the weak
4931cold soul is kindled and strengthened, it is encouraged by ardor for prayer and is, as
4932it were, enticed to put the practice of prayer to the test. As St. Isaac the Syrian says,
4933"Joy is an enticement to the soul, joy which is the outcome of hope blossoming in the
4934heart, and meditation upon its hope is the well-being of the heart."
4935
4936The same writer continues: "At the outset of this activity and right to the end there
4937is presupposed some sort of method and hope for its completion, and this both
4938arouses the mind to lay a foundation for the task and from the vision of its goal the
4939mind borrows consolation during the labor of reaching it." In the same way St. Isikhi,
4940after describing the hindrance that sloth is to prayer and clearing away
4941misconceptions about the renewal of ardor for it, finally says outright, "If we are not
4942ready to desire the silence of the heart for any other reason, then let it be for the
4943delightful feeling of it in the soul and for the gladness that it brings." It follows from
4944this that this Father gives the enjoyable feeling of gladness as an incitement to
4945assiduity in prayer, and in the same way Macarius the Great teaches that our spiritual
4946efforts (prayer) should be carried out with the purpose and in the hope of producing
4947fruit—that is, enjoyment in our hearts. Clear instances of the potency of this method
4948are to be seen in very many passages of The Philokalia, which contains detailed
4949descriptions of the delights of prayer. One who is struggling with the infirmity of sloth
4950or dryness in prayer ought to read them over as often as possible, considering
4951himself, however, unworthy of these enjoyments and ever reproaching himself for
4952negligence in prayer.
4953
4954133
4955
4956The Priest. Will not such meditation lead the inexperienced person to spiritual
4957voluptuousness, as the theologians call that tendency of the soul which is greedy of
4958excessive consolation and sweetness of grace, and is not content to fulfill the work of
4959devotion from a sense of obligation and duty without dreaming about reward?
4960
4961The Professor. I think that the theologians in this case are warning men against
4962excess or greed of spiritual happiness, and are not entirely rejecting enjoyment and
4963consolation in virtue. For if the desire for reward is not perfection, nevertheless God
4964has not forbidden man to think about rewards and consolation, and even Himself
4965uses the idea of reward to incite men to fulfill His commandments and to attain
4966perfection. "Honor thy father and thy mother." There is the command and you see the
4967reward follows as a spur to its fulfillment, "and it shall be well with thee. If thou wilt be
4968perfect, go, sell all that thou hast and come and follow Me." There is the demand for
4969perfection, and immediately upon it comes the reward as an inducement to attain
4970perfection, "and thou shalt have treasure in heaven. Blessed are ye when men shall
4971hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach
4972you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake" (Luke 6:22). There is
4973a great demand for a spiritual achievement which needs unusual strength of soul and
4974unshakable patience. And so for that there is a great reward and consolation, which
4975are able to arouse and maintain this unusual strength of soul—"For your reward is
4976great in heaven." For this reason I think that a certain desire for enjoyment in prayer
4977of the heart is necessary and probably constitutes the means of attaining both
4978diligence and success in it. And so all this undoubtedly supports the practical
4979teaching on this subject which we have just heard from the skhimnik.
4980
4981The Skhimnik. One of the great theologians—that is to say, St. Macarius of
4982Egypt—speaks in the clearest possible way about this matter. He says, "As when you
4983are planting a vine you bestow your thought and labor with the purpose of gathering
4984the vintage, and if you do not, all your labor will be useless, so also in prayer, if you
4985do not look for spiritual fruit—that is, love, peace, joy, and the rest—your labor will be
4986useless. And, therefore, we ought to fulfill our spiritual duties (prayer) with the
4987purpose and hope of gathering fruit—that is to say, comfort and enjoyment in our
4988hearts." Do you see how clearly the holy Father answers this question about the
4989need for enjoyment in prayer? And, as a matter of fact, there has just come into my
4990
4991134:
4992
4993mind a point of view which I read not long ago of a writer on spiritual things, to this
4994effect: that the naturalness of prayer to man is the chief cause of his inclination
4995toward it. So the examination of this naturalness, in my opinion, may also serve as a
4996potent means of arousing diligence in prayer, the means which the professor is so
4997eagerly looking for.
4998
4999Let me now sum up shortly some points I drew attention to in that notebook. For
5000instance, the writer says that reason and nature lead man to the knowledge of God.
5001The first investigates the fact that there cannot be action without cause, and
5002ascending the ladder of tangible things from the lower to the higher, at last reaches
5003the First Cause, God. The second displays at every step its marvelous wisdom,
5004harmony, order, gradation, gives the basic material for the ladder which leads from
5005finite causes to the infinite. Thus, the natural man arrives naturally at the knowledge
5006of God. And, therefore, there is not, and never has been, any people, any barbarous
5007tribe, without some knowledge of God. As a result of this knowledge the most savage
5008islander, without any impulse from outside, as it were involuntarily raises his gaze to
5009heaven, falls on his knees, breathes out a sigh which he does not understand,
5010necessary as it is, and has a direct feeling that there is something which draws him
5011upward, something urging him toward the unknown. From this foundation all natural
5012religions arise. And in this connection it is very remarkable that universally the
5013essence or the soul of every religion consists in secret prayer, which shows itself in
5014some form of movement of the spirit and what is clearly an oblation, though more or
5015less distorted by the darkness of the coarse and wild understanding of heathen
5016people. The more surprising this fact is in the eyes of reason, the greater is the
5017demand upon us to discover the hidden cause of this wonderful thing which finds
5018expression in a natural movement toward prayer. The psychological answer to this is
5019not difficult to find. The root, the head, and the strength of all passions and actions in
5020man is his innate love of self. The deep-rooted and universal idea of self-preservation
5021clearly confirms this. Every human wish, every undertaking, every action has as its
5022purpose the satisfaction of self-love, the seeking of the man's own happiness. The
5023satisfaction of this demand accompanies the natural man all through his life. But the
5024human spirit is not satisfied with anything that belongs to the senses, and the innate
5025love of self never abates its urgency. And so desires develop more and more, the
5026
5027135:
5028
5029endeavor to attain happiness grows stronger, fills the imagination, and incites the
5030feelings to this same end. The flood of this inward feeling and desire as it develops is
5031the natural arousing to prayer. It is a requirement of self-love which attains its
5032purpose with difficulty. The less the natural man succeeds in attaining happiness and
5033the more he has it in view, the more his longing grows and the more he finds an
5034outlet for it in prayer. He betakes himself in petition for what he desires to the
5035unknown cause of all being. So it is that innate self-love, the principal element in life,
5036is a deep-seated stimulus to prayer in the natural man. The all-wise creator of all
5037things has imbued the nature of man with a capacity for self-love precisely as an
5038"enticement," to use the expression of the Fathers, which will draw the fallen being of
5039man upward into touch with celestial things. Oh! if man had not spoiled this capacity,
5040if only he had kept it in its excellence, in touch with his spiritual nature! Then he
5041would have had a powerful incentive and an effective means of bringing him along
5042the road to moral perfection. But, alas! how often he makes of this noble capacity a
5043base passion of self-love when he turns it into an instrument of his animal nature.
5044
5045The Starets. I thank you from my heart, all my dear visitors. Your salutary
5046conversation has been a great consolation to me and taught me, in my experience,
5047many profitable things. May God give you His grace in return for your edifying love.
5048
5049[They all separate.]
5050
5051My devout friend the professor and I could not resist our desire to start on our
5052journey, and before doing so to look in and say a last good-bye to you and ask for
5053your prayers.
5054
5055The Professor. Yes, our intimacy with you has meant a great deal to us, and so
5056have the salutary conversations on spiritual things which we have enjoyed at your
5057house in company with your friends. We shall keep the memory of all this in our
5058hearts as a pledge of fellowship and Christian love in that distant land to which we
5059are hastening.
5060
5061The Starets. Thank you for remembering me. And, by the way, how opportune
5062your arrival is. There are two travelers stopping with me, a Moldavian monk and a
5063hermit who has lived in silence for twenty-five years in a forest. They want to see you.
5064I will call them at once. Here they are.
5065
5066136:
5067
5068The Pilgrim. Ah, how blessed a life of solitude is! And how suitable for bringing the
5069soul into unbroken union with God! The silent forest is like a garden of Eden in which
5070the delightful tree of life grows in the prayerful heart of the recluse. If I had something
5071to live on, nothing, I think, would keep me from the life of a hermit!
5072
5073The Professor. Everything seems particularly desirable to us from a distance. But
5074we all find out by experience that every place, though it may have its advantages,
5075has its drawbacks too. Of course, if one is melancholy by temperament and inclined
5076to silence, then a solitary life is a comfort. But what a lot of dangers lie along that
5077road. The history of the ascetic life provides many instances to show that numbers of
5078recluses and hermits, having entirely deprived themselves of human society, have
5079fallen into self-deception and profound seductions.
5080
5081The Hermit. I am surprised at how often one hears it said in Russia, not only in
5082religious houses, but even among God-fearing layfolk, that many who desire the
5083hermit life, or exercise in the practice of interior prayer, are held back from following
5084up this inclination by the fear that seductions will ruin them. Insisting on this, they
5085bring forward instances of the conclusion their minds have arrived at as a reason
5086alike for avoiding the interior life themselves and for keeping other people from it
5087also. To my mind this arises from two causes: either from failure to understand the
5088task and lack of spiritual enlightenment, or from their own indifference to
5089contemplative achievement and jealousy lest others who are at a low level in
5090comparison with themselves should outdistance them in this higher knowledge. It is a
5091great pity that those who hold this conviction do not investigate the teaching of the
5092holy Fathers on the matter, for they very decidedly teach that one ought neither to
5093fear nor to doubt when one calls upon God. If certain of them have indeed fallen into
5094self-deception and fanaticism, that was the result of pride, of not having a director,
5095and of taking appearances and imagination for reality. Should such a time of testing
5096occur, they continue, it would lead to experience and a crown of glory, for the help of
5097God comes swiftly to protect when such a thing is permitted. Be courageous. "I am
5098with you, fear not," says Jesus Christ. And it follows from this that to feel fear and
5099alarm at the interior life on the pretext of the risk of self-deception is a vain thing. For
5100humble consciousness of one's sins, openness of Soul with one's director, and
5101"formlessness" in prayer are a strong and safe defense against those tempting
5102
5103137:
5104
5105illusions of which many feel so great a fear and, therefore, do not embark upon
5106activity of the mind. Incidentally, these very people find themselves exposed to
5107temptation, as the wise words of Philotheus the Sinaite tell us. He says, "There are
5108many monks who do not understand the illusion of their own minds, which they suffer
5109at the hands of demons —that is to say, they give themselves diligently to only one
5110form of activity, 'outward good works'; whereas of the mind—that is, of inward
5111contemplation—they have little care, since they are unenlightened and ignorant
5112about this." "Even if they hear of others that grace works inwardly within them,
5113through jealousy they regard it as self-deception/' St. Gregory the Sinaite declares.
5114
5115The Professor. Allow me to ask you a question. Of course the consciousness of
5116one's sins is proper for everyone who pays any attention to himself. But how does
5117one proceed when no director is available to guide one in the way of the interior life
5118from his own experience, and when one has opened one's heart to him, to impart to
5119one correct and trustworthy knowledge about the spiritual life? In that case, no doubt,
5120it would be better not to attempt contemplation rather than try it on one's own without
5121a guide. Further, for my part, I don't readily understand how, if one puts oneself in the
5122presence of God, it is possible to observe complete "formlessness." It is not natural,
5123for our soul or our mind can present nothing to the imagination without form, in
5124absolute formlessness. And why, indeed, when the mind is steeped in God, should
5125we not present to the imagination Jesus Christ, or the Holy Trinity, and so on?
5126
5127The Hermit. The guidance of a director or starets who is experienced and
5128knowledgeable in spiritual things, to whom one can open one's heart every day
5129without hindrance, with confidence and advantage, and tell one's thoughts and what
5130one has met with on the path of interior schooling, is the chief condition for the
5131practice of prayer of the heart by one who has entered upon the life of silence. Yet, in
5132cases where it is impossible to find such a one, the same holy Fathers who prescribe
5133this make an exception. Nicephorus the Monk gives clear instructions about it, thus:
5134"During the practice of inward activity of the heart, a genuine and well-informed
5135director is required. If such a one is not at hand, then you must diligently search for
5136one. If you do not find him, then, calling contritely upon God for help, draw instruction
5137and guidance from the teaching of the holy Fathers and verify it from the Word of
5138God set forth in the holy Scriptures." Here one must also take into consideration the
5139
5140138:
5141
5142fact that the seeker of goodwill and zeal can obtain something useful in the way of
5143instruction from ordinary people also. For the holy Fathers assure us likewise, that if
5144with faith and right intention one questions even a Saracen, he can speak words of
5145value to us. If, on the other hand, one asks for instruction from a prophet, without
5146faith and a righteous purpose, then even he will not satisfy us. We see an instance of
5147this in the case of Macarius the Great of Egypt, to whom on one occasion a simple
5148villager gave an explanation that put an end to the distress which he was
5149experiencing.
5150
5151As regards "formlessness"—that is, not using the imagination and not accepting
5152any sort of vision during contemplation, whether of light, or of an angel, or of Christ,
5153or any saint, and turning aside from all dreaming —this, of course, is enjoined by
5154experienced holy Fathers for this reason: that the power of the imagination may
5155easily incarnate or, so to speak, give life to the representations of the mind, and thus
5156the inexperienced might readily be attracted by these figments, take them as visions
5157of grace, and fall into self-deception, in spite of the fact that holy Scripture says that
5158Satan himself may assume the form of an angel of light. And that the mind can
5159naturally and easily be in a state of "formlessness" and keep so, even while
5160recollecting the presence of God, can be seen from the fact that the power of the
5161imagination can perceptibly present a thing in "formlessness" and maintain its hold
5162upon such a presentation. Thus, for example, the representation of our souls, of the
5163air, warmth, or cold. When you are cold you can have a lively idea of warmth in your
5164mind, though warmth has no shape, is not an object of sight, and is not measured by
5165the physical feeling of one who finds himself in the cold. In the same way also the
5166presence of the spiritual and incomprehensible being of God may be present to the
5167mind and recognized in the heart in absolute formlessness.
5168
5169The Pilgrim. During my wanderings I have come across people, devout people
5170who were seeking salvation, who have told me that they were afraid to have anything
5171to do with the interior life, and denounced it as a mere illusion. To several of them I
5172read out of The Philokalia the teaching of St. Gregory the Sinaite with some profit. He
5173says that "the action of the heart cannot be an illusion (as that of the mind can), for if
5174the enemy desired to turn the warmth of the heart into his own uncontrolled fire, or to
5175
5176139
5177
5178change the gladness of the heart into the dull pleasures of the senses, still time,
5179experience, and the feeling itself would expose his craftiness and cunning, even for
5180those who are not very learned." I have also met other people who, most unhappily,
5181after knowing the way of silence and prayer of the heart, have on meeting some
5182obstacle or sinful weakness given way to depression, and given up the inward activity
5183of the heart which they had known.
5184
5185The Professor. Yes, and that is very natural. I have myself experienced the same
5186thing at times, on occasions when I have lapsed from the interior frame of mind or
5187done something wrong. For since inward prayer of the heart is a holy thing and union
5188with God, is it not unseemly and a thing not to be dared to bring a holy thing into a
5189sinful heart, without having first purified it by silent contrite penitence and a proper
5190preparation for communion with God? It is better to be dumb before God than to offer
5191Him thoughtless words out of a heart which is in darkness and distraction.
5192
5193The Monk. It is a great pity that you think like that. That is despondency, which is
5194the worst of all sins and constitutes the principal weapon of the world of darkness
5195against us. The teaching of our experienced holy Fathers about this is quite different.
5196Nicetas Stethatus says that if you have fallen and sunk down even into the depths of
5197hellish evil, even then you are not to despair, but to turn quickly to God, and He will
5198speedily raise up your fallen heart and give you more strength than you had before.
5199So after every fall and sinful wounding of the heart, the thing to do is immediately to
5200place it in the presence of God for healing and cleansing, just as things that have
5201become infected, if they are exposed for some time to the power of the sun's rays,
5202lose the sharpness and strength of their infection. Many spiritual writers speak
5203positively about this inner conflict with the enemies of salvation, our passions. If you
5204receive wounds a thousand times, still you should by no means give up the life-
5205giving action—that is to say, calling upon Jesus Christ who is present in our hearts.
5206Our actions not only ought not to turn us away from walking in the presence of God
5207and from inward prayer, and so produce disquiet, depression, and sadness in us, but
5208rather further our swift turning to God. The infant who is led by its mother when it
5209begins to walk turns quickly to her and holds on to her firmly when it stumbles.
5210
5211The Hermit. I look at it in this way, that the spirit of despondency, and agitating
5212and doubting thoughts, are aroused most easily by distraction of the mind and failure
5213
5214140:
5215
5216to guard the silent resort of one's inner self. The ancient Fathers in their divine
5217wisdom won the victory over despondency and received inward light and strength
5218through hope in God, through peaceful silence and solitude, and they have given us
5219wise and useful counsel: "Sit silently in your cell and it will teach you everything."
5220
5221The Professor. I have such confidence in you that I listen very gladly to your
5222critical analysis of my thoughts about the silence which you praise so highly, and the
5223benefits of the solitary life which hermits so love to lead. Well, this is what I think:
5224Since all people, by the law of nature ordained by the creator, are placed in
5225necessary dependence upon one another and, therefore, are bound to help one
5226another in life, to labor for one another, and to be of service to one another, this
5227sociability makes for the well-being of the human race and shows love for one's
5228neighbor. But the silent hermit who has withdrawn from human society, in what way
5229can he, in his inactivity, be of service to his neighbor and what contribution can he
5230make to the well-being of human society? He completely destroys in himself that law
5231of the creator which concerns union in love of one's kind and beneficent influence
5232upon the brotherhood.
5233
5234The Hermit. Since this view of yours about silence is incorrect, the conclusion you
5235draw from it will not hold good. Let us consider it in detail. (1) The man who lives in
5236silent solitude is not only not living in a state of inactivity and idleness; he is in the
5237highest degree active, even more than the one who takes part in the life of society.
5238He untiringly acts according to his highest rational nature; he is on guard; he
5239ponders; he keeps his eye upon the state and progress of his moral existence. This is
5240the true purpose of silence. And in the measure that this ministers to his own
5241improvement, it benefits others for whom un- distracted submergence within
5242themselves for the development of the moral life is impossible. For he who watches
5243in silence, by communicating his inward experiences either by word (in exceptional
5244cases) or by committing them to writing, promotes the spiritual advantage and the
5245salvation of his brethren. And he does more, and that of a higher kind, than the
5246private benefactor, because the private, emotional charities of people in the world are
5247always limited by the small number of benefits conferred, whereas he who confers
5248benefits by morally attaining to convincing and tested means of perfecting the
5249spiritual life becomes a benefactor of whole peoples. His experience and teaching
5250
5251141
5252
5253pass on from generation to generation, as we see ourselves and of which we avail
5254ourselves from ancient times to this day. And this in no sense differs from Christian
5255love; it even surpasses it in its results. (2) The beneficent and most useful influence
5256of the man who observes silence upon his neighbors is not only shown in the
5257communication of his instructive observations upon the interior life, but also the very
5258example of his separated life benefits the attentive layman by leading him to self-
5259knowledge and arousing in him the feeling of reverence. The man who lives in the
5260world, hearing of the devout recluse, or going past the door of his hermitage, feels an
5261impulse to the devout life, has recalled to his mind what man can be upon earth, that
5262it is possible for man to get back to that primitive contemplative state in which he
5263issued from the hands of his creator. The silent recluse teaches by his very silence,
5264and by his very life he benefits, edifies, and persuades to the search for God. (3) This
5265benefit springs from genuine silence which is illuminated and sanctified by the light of
5266grace. But if the silent one did not have these gifts of grace which make him a light to
5267the world, even if he should have embarked upon the way of silence with the purpose
5268of hiding himself from the society of his kind as the result of sloth and indifference,
5269even then he would confer a great benefit upon the community in which he lives, just
5270as the gardener cuts off dry and barren branches and clears away the weeds so that
5271the growth of the best and most useful may be unimpeded. And this is a great deal. It
5272is of general benefit that the silent one by his seclusion removes the temptations
5273which would inevitably arise from his unedifying life among people and be injurious to
5274the morals of his neighbors.
5275
5276On the subject of the importance of silence, St. Isaac the Syrian exclaims as
5277follows: "When on one side we place all the actions of this life and on the other
5278silence, we find that it weighs down the scales. Do not place those who perform signs
5279and wonders in the world on a level with those who keep silence with knowledge.
5280Love the inactivity of silence more than the satiety of greedy ones in the world and
5281the turning of many people to God. It is better for you to cut yourself free from the
5282bonds of sin than to liberate slaves from their servitude." Even the most elementary
5283sages have recognized the value of silence. The philosophical school of the
5284Neoplatonists, which embraced many adherents under the guidance of the
5285philosopher Plotinus, developed to a high degree the inner contemplative life which is
5286
5287142:
5288
5289attained most especially in silence. One spiritual writer said that if the state were
5290developed to the highest degree of education and morals, yet even then it would still
5291be necessary to provide people for contemplation, in addition to the general activities
5292of citizens, in order to preserve the spirit of truth, and having received it from all the
5293centuries that are past, to keep it for the generations to come and hand it on to
5294posterity. Such people, in the church, are hermits, recluses, and anchorites.
5295
5296The Pilgrim. I think that no one has so truly valued the excellences of silence as
5297St. John of the ladder. "Silence," he says, "is the mother of prayer, a return from the
5298captivity of sin, unconscious success in virtue, a continuous ascension to heaven."
5299Yes, and Jesus Christ Himself, in order to show us the advantage and necessity of
5300silent seclusion, often left His public preaching and went into silent places for prayer
5301and quietude. The silent contemplatives are like pillars supporting the devotion of the
5302church by their secret continuous prayer. Even in the distant past, one sees that
5303many devout layfolk, and even kings and their courtiers, went to visit hermits and
5304men who kept silence in order to ask them to pray for their strengthening and
5305salvation. Thus the silent recluse, too, can serve his neighbor and act to the
5306advantage and the happiness of society by his secluded prayer.
5307
5308The Professor. Now, there again, that is a thought which I do not very easily
5309understand. It is a general custom among all of us Christians to ask for each other's
5310prayers, to want another to pray for me, and to have special confidence in a member
5311of the church. Is not this simply a demand of self-love? Is it not that we have only
5312caught the habit of saying what we have heard others say, as a sort of fancy of the
5313mind without any serious consideration? Does God require human intercession, since
5314He foresees everything and acts according to His all-blessed providence and not
5315according to our desire, knowing and settling everything before our petition is made,
5316as the holy gospel says? Can the prayer of many people really be any stronger to
5317overcome His decisions than the prayer of one person? In that case God would be a
5318respecter of persons. Can the prayer of another person really save me when
5319everybody is commended or put to shame on the ground of his own actions? And,
5320therefore, the request for the prayers of another person is to my mind merely a pious
5321expression of spiritual courtesy, which shows signs of humility and a desire to please
5322by preferring one another, and that is all.
5323
5324143,
5325
5326The Monk. If one take only outward considerations into account, and with an
5327elementary philosophy, it might be put in that way. But the spiritual reason blessed by
5328the light of religion and trained by the experiences of the interior life goes a good deal
5329deeper, contemplates more clearly, and in a mystery reveals something entirely
5330different from what you have put forward. So that we may understand this more
5331quickly and clearly, let us take an example and then verify the truth of it from the
5332Word of God. Let us say that a pupil came to a certain teacher for instruction. His
5333feeble capacities and, what is more, his idleness and lack of concentration prevented
5334him from attaining any success in his studies, and they put him in the category of the
5335idle and unsuccessful. Feeling sad at this, he did not know what to do, nor how to
5336contend with his deficiencies. Then he met another pupil, a classmate of his, who
5337was more able than he, more diligent and successful, and he explained his trouble to
5338him. The other took an interest in him and invited him to work with him. "Let us work
5339together," he said, "and we shall be keener, more cheerful and, therefore, more
5340successful." And so they began to study together, each sharing with the other what
5341he understood. The subject of their study was the same. And what followed after
5342several days? The indifferent one became diligent; he came to like his work, his
5343carelessness was changed to ardor and intelligence, which had a beneficial effect
5344upon his character and morals also. And the intelligent one in his turn became more
5345able and industrious. In the effect they had upon one another they arrived at a
5346common advantage. And this is very natural, for man is born in the society of people;
5347he develops his rational understanding through people, habits of life, training,
5348emotions, the action of the will—in a word, everything he receives from the example
5349of his kind. And, therefore, as the life of men consists in the closest relations and the
5350strongest influences of one upon another, he who lives among a certain sort of
5351people becomes accustomed to that kind of habit, behavior, and morals.
5352Consequently the cool become enthusiastic, the stupid become sharp, the idle are
5353aroused to activity by a lively interest in their fellow men. Spirit can give itself to spirit
5354and act beneficially upon another and attract another to prayer, to attention. It can
5355encourage him in despondency, turn him from vice, and arouse him to holy action.
5356And so by helping each other they can become more devout, more energetic
5357spiritually, more reverent. There you have the secret of prayer for others, which
5358
5359144:
5360
5361explains the devout custom on the part of Christian people of praying for one another
5362and asking for the prayers of the brethren.
5363
5364And from this one can see that it is not that God is pleased, as the great ones of
5365this world are, by a great many petitions and intercessions, but that the very spirit and
5366power of prayer cleanses and arouses the soul for whom the prayer is offered and
5367presents it ready for union with God. If mutual prayer by those who are living upon
5368earth is so beneficial, then in the same way we may infer that prayer for the departed
5369also is mutually beneficial because of the very close link that exists between the
5370heavenly world and this. In this way souls of the Church Militant can be drawn into
5371union with souls of the Church Triumphant, or, what is the same thing, the living with
5372the dead.
5373
5374All that I have said is psychological reasoning, but if we open holy Scripture we
5375can verify the truth of it. (1) Jesus Christ says to the Apostle Peter, "I have prayed for
5376thee, that thy faith fail not." There you see that the power of Christ's prayer
5377strengthens the spirit of St. Peter and encourages him when his faith is tested. (2)
5378When the Apostle Peter was kept in prison, "prayer was made without ceasing of the
5379church unto God for him." Here we have revealed the help which brotherly prayer
5380gives in the troubled circumstances of life. (3) But the clearest precept about prayer
5381for others is put by the holy Apostle James in this way: "Confess your sins one to
5382another, and pray for one another.... The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man
5383availeth much." Here is definite confirmation of the psychological argument above.
5384And what are we to say of the example of the holy Apostle Paul, which is given to us
5385as the pattern of prayer for one another? One writer observes that this example of the
5386holy Apostle Paul should teach us how necessary prayer for one another is, when so
5387holy and strong a podvizhnik acknowledges his own need of this spiritual help. In the
5388Epistle to the Hebrews he words his request in this way: "Pray for us: for we trust we
5389have a good conscience, in all things willing to live honestly" (Heb. 13:18). When we
5390take note of this, how unreasonable it seems to rely upon our own prayers and
5391successes only, when a man so holy, so full of grace, in his humility asks for the
5392prayers of his neighbors (the Hebrews) to be joined to his own. Therefore, in humility,
5393simplicity, and unity of love we should not reject or disdain the help of the prayers of
5394even the feeblest of believers, when the clear-sighted spirit of the Apostle Paul felt no
5395
5396145:
5397
5398hesitation about it. He asks for the prayers of all in general, knowing that the power of
5399God is made perfect in weakness. Consequently it can at times be made perfect in
5400those who seem able to pray but feebly. Feeling the force of this example, we notice
5401further that prayer one for another strengthens that unity in Christian love which is
5402commanded by God, witnesses to humility in the spirit of him who makes the request,
5403and, so to speak, attracts the spirit of him who prays. Mutual intercession is
5404stimulated in this way.
5405
5406The Professor. Your analysis and your proofs are admirable and exact, but it
5407would be interesting to hear from you the actual method and form of prayer for
5408others. For I think that if the fruitfulness and attractive power of prayer depend upon a
5409living interest in our neighbors, and conspicuously upon the constant influence of the
5410spirit of him who prays upon the spirit of him who asked for prayer, such a state of
5411soul might draw one away from the uninterrupted sense of the invisible presence of
5412God and the outpouring of one's soul before God in one's own needs. And if one
5413brings one's neighbor to mind just once or twice in the day, with sympathy for him,
5414asking the help of God for him, would that not be enough for the attracting and
5415strengthening of his soul? To put it briefly, I should like to know exactly how to pray
5416for others.
5417
5418The Monk. Prayer which is offered to God for anything whatever ought not, and
5419cannot, take us away from the sense of the presence of God, for if it is an offering
5420made to God, then, of course, it must be in His presence. So far as the method of
5421praying for others is concerned, it must be noted that the power of this sort of prayer
5422consists in true Christian sympathy with one's neighbor, and it has an influence upon
5423his soul according to the extent of that sympathy. Therefore, when one happens to
5424remember him (one's neighbor), or at the time appointed for doing so, it is well to
5425bring a mental view of him into the presence of God, and to offer prayer in the
5426following form: "Most merciful God, Thy will be done, which will have all men to be
5427saved and to come unto the knowledge of the truth, save and help Thy servant N.
5428Take this desire of mine as a cry of love which Thou hast commanded." Commonly
5429you will repeat those words when your soul feels moved to do so, or you might tell
5430your beads with this prayer. I have found from experience how beneficially such a
5431prayer acts upon him for whom it is offered.
5432
5433146:
5434
5435The Professor. Your views and arguments and the edifying conversation and
5436illuminating thoughts which spring from them are such that I shall feel bound to keep
5437them in my memory, and to give you all the reverence and thanks of my grateful
5438heart.
5439
5440The Pilgrim and the Professor. The time has come for us to go. Most heartily we
5441ask for your prayers upon our journey and upon our companionship.
5442
5443The Starets. "The God of peace that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus,
5444that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant,
5445make you perfect in every good work to do His will, working in you that which is well
5446pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever.
5447Amen" (Heb. 13:20, 21).
5448
5449Notes
5450
54511.  Starets, pi. startsi. A monk distinguished by his great piety, long experience of
5452the spiritual life, and gift for guiding other souls. Layfolk frequently resort to startsi for
5453spiritual counsel. In a monastery a new member of the community is attached to a
5454starets, who trains and teaches him.
5455
54562.  Philokalia (in Russian: Dobrotolyubie). "The Love of Spiritual Beauty." The title
5457of the great collection of mystical and ascetic writings by Fathers of the Eastern
5458Orthodox Church, over a period of eleven centuries.
5459
54603.  Dyachok. A minister whose chief liturgical function is to chant psalms and the
5461epistle in the Russian Church.
5462
54634.  Mir. The assembly of all the peasant householders in a village. It was a very
5464ancient institution in which the peasants only had a voice, even the great landowners
5465being excluded. The mir enjoyed a certain measure of self-government and elected
5466representatives to the larger peasant assembly of the volost, which included several
5467mirs. The starosta was the elected headman of the mir.
5468
54695.  Zavalina. A bank of earth against the front wall of the house, flat-topped and
5470used as a seat.
5471
54726.  Priests. The word is ksendz, which means a Polish priest of the Roman
5473Catholic Church. The steward, being a Pole, was a Roman Catholic.
5474
5475147:
5476
54777.  Skhimnik (fem. skhimnitsa). A monk (nun) of the highest grade. The distinction
5478between simple and solemn vows which has arisen in the West has never found a
5479place in orthodox monasticism. In the latter, Religious are of three grades,
5480distinguished by their habit, and the highest grade is pledged to a stricter degree of
5481asceticism and a greater amount of time spent in prayer. The Russian skhimnik is the
5482Greek megaloschemos.
5483
54848.  Icon. The icon or sacred picture occupies a prominent position in orthodox life.
5485In Russia, icons are found not only in churches but in public buildings of all sorts, as
5486well as in private houses. In the devout Russian's room the icon will hang or rest on a
5487shelf diagonally across a corner opposite the door, and a reverence will be made to it
5488by a person entering or leaving the room.
5489
54909.  Onoochi. Long strips of material, generally coarse linen, which the Russian
5491peasant wraps around his feet and legs instead of wearing stockings.
5492
549310.  Bashmaki. A kind of shoes.
5494
549511. Altar. In orthodox churches, altar is the name of that part of the building which
5496is known in the West as the sanctuary. What Westerners call the altar is in the East
5497the throne or holy table. In orthodox phraseology the throne stands in the altar.
5498
549912.  Batyushka. "Little Father," a familiar and affectionate form of address, applied
5500usually to priests.
5501
550213.  Dark water. The popular name for glaucoma.
5503
550414. The Tartars, of course, being Moslems.
5505
550615. Samovar. A sort of urn heated with charcoal to supply hot water for tea.
5507
550816.  Evreinov. Literally the name means "son of a Jew."
5509
551017.  Kotomka. A sort of knapsack made of birch bark. It has two pockets, one in
5511front and another behind , and is worn slung over the shoulder.
5512
551318. Starosta. The headman of the village community, or mir.
5514
551519.  Near the saints—that is, near where they are buried, the Kiev-Pecherskaya
5516Lavra. This was one of the most famous and influential monasteries in Russia and
5517was visited by hundreds of thousands of pilgrims every year. It was founded in the
5518eleventh century, and its catacombs still contain the uncorrupted bodies of many
5519saints of ancient Russia.
5520
5521148:
5522
552320.  From the eighth prayer in the morning prayers of the lay prayer book of the
5524Russian Church.
5525
5526NOTES
5527
552821. Lavra. Originally a monastery which followed the rule of St. Anthony, but later
5529used simply to designate certain large monasteries. Besides Kiev, there were eight
5530monasteries in Russia that bore the title "Lavra."
5531
553222. The Holy Footprint. The legend, which is said to date from about the thirteenth
5533century, says that Our Lady surrounded by saints appeared in a blaze of glory to a
5534group of shepherds. The rock upon which she stood was afterward found to bear the
5535imprint of her foot, and from it trickled a flow of water which subsequently proved to
5536have healing powers. A monastery was later built over the site and the shrine of the
5537footprint is still preserved in the crypt.
5538
553923. Pravoslavny. The name which the Russians give to the orthodox church.
5540Literally it means "right praising."
5541
554224. Raskolniki. Literally "schismatics," sometimes called "old believers." In the
5543seventeenth century Nikon, the patriarch of Moscow, in the face of fierce opposition,
5544carried through a reform of the service books. The old believers, led by Avvakum,
5545seceded from the church rather than accept the changes. The origin of Russian
5546dissent is, therefore, the exact opposite of the origin of English dissent. The raskolniki
5547afterward themselves split into more sects, some having a priesthood and some
5548being without. Some of these sects degenerated into oddities and indulged in the
5549strangest excesses. But the more sober element among the old believers
5550incorporates some of the best of the Russian religious spirit and character. Altogether
5551these sects numbered some 2 percent of the Christian population of the empire at the
5552beginning of the twentieth century. There is an English version of the autobiography
5553of the archpriest Awakum.
5554
555525. Podvizhnik. A podvig is a notable exploit, and the man who performs it is a
5556podvizhnik. The terms are applied in the spiritual life to outstanding achievements in
5557the life of prayer and ascetic practices, and to those who attain to them.
5558
555926. Bobil. A landless peasant, hence a miserable poverty- stricken fellow.
5560
5561149,
5562
556327.  Solovetsky. The famous monastery on the group of islands of that name in the
5564White Sea. It was founded in 1429 by St. German and St. Sabbas. The former had
5565been a monk of Valaam.
5566
556728. Skeet. A small monastic community dependent upon a large monastery.
5568
556929. Acathist. One of the many forms of the liturgical hym- nody of the Orthodox
5570Church. Its characteristic is praise. There are acathists of Our Lady and of the saints.
5571
5572The Kanon is another element which enters into the structure of Eastern Orthodox
5573services. Further information on this subject may be found in the writers' article on
5574Eastern Orthodox services in Liturgy and Worship, p. 834.
5575
557630. The original has a note here as follows: "From the author's MS received by
5577Father Ambrose of the Dobry Monastery."
5578
557931.  The original has a note here as follows: "In the nineties of the last century
5580there died at the Troitskaya Lavra a starets, a layman in his 108th year; he could not
5581read or write, but he said the Jesus prayer even during his sleep, and lived
5582continually as the child of God, with a heart that yearned for Him. His name was
5583Gordi." Troitskaya Lavra is the famous monastery of the Holy Trinity near Moscow,
5584founded by St. Sergei in the fourteenth century. The part it played in Russian
5585religious life has been compared by Frere in some respects to the Cluniac movement
5586(Links in the Chain of Russian Church History, p. 36). The Troitskaya Lavra was
5587intimately connected with Russian history, and was the focal point of the national
5588movement which drove out the Poles and placed the first Romanov on the Russian
5589throne in 1613.
5590
559132.  St. Augustine. The reference is to Dilige, et quod vis fac. St. Augustine, Tract
5592on the First Epistle of St. John, Tract VII, Chapter X, paragraph 8, Edition Migne, III,
5593p. 2033.
5594
559533.  Otechnik. Lives of the Fathers with extracts from their writings.
5596
5597Biographical Notes
5598
5599Anthony the Great was born about A.D. 250 in Egypt. As a young man he
5600adopted the solitary life of the ascetic and was perhaps the first to withdraw into the
5601desert to live a hermit's life. His influence spread widely and he kept in touch with his
5602friend St. Athanasius the Great, who wrote his Life.
5603
5604150:
5605
5606Basil the Great was bishop of Caesarea in Cappadocia in the fourth century. A
5607great writer and preacher, he was a reformer also in the spheres of the liturgy and the
5608monastic life. The "Liturgy of St. Basil" is used by the orthodox on Sundays in Lent
5609and a few other days. Orthodox monks and nuns follow the Rule of St. Basil.
5610Blessed Diadokh was bishop of Photice in Epirus. Victor, bishop of Utica, writing in
5611the preface to his History of the Barbarity of the Vandals about the year 490, calls
5612himself the pupil of Diadokh and speaks in high praise of his spiritual writings.
5613Diadokh, therefore, flourished in the second half of the fifth century. His signature
5614appears among those attached to the letter from the Epirote bishops to the Emperor
5615Leo. Nothing more is known of him.
5616
5617Callistus the Patriarch, a disciple of Gregory the Sinaite in the skeet of Magoola
5618on Mount Athos, led the ascetic life for twenty-eight years in company with one Mark,
5619and especially with Ignatius, with whom he had so great a friendship that "it appeared
5620as though but one spirit was in the two of them." Later, after he had been made
5621patriarch, he was passing by Mount Athos on his way to Serbia, and during his stay
5622in the holy mountain one Maxium foretold his early death. "This starets will not see
5623his flock again, for behind him can be heard the funeral hymn, 'Blessed are they that
5624are undeftled in the way.'" On his arrival in Serbia, Callistus did, in fact, die. Gregory
5625Palamas, in his treatise on the Jesus prayer, speaks very highly of the writings of
5626Callistus and Ignatius on the same subject. They lived in the middle of the fourteenth
5627century.
5628
5629Chrysostom. The most famous of the Greek Fathers. He was born about A.D. 345
5630at Antioch in Syria and was trained as a lawyer. At the age of thirty-five, however, he
5631was baptized and later ordained. He became archbishop of Constantinople, in which
5632office he led a life of ascetic simplicity and was celebrated for his writings and
5633sermons. (The name means "golden-mouthed.") He died in 407.
5634
5635Ephraem the Syrian. The great Syriac writer, poet, and commentator of the fourth
5636century. He was ordained deacon but in humility refused any higher order. The bulk
5637of his vast output of literary work was written in verse and upon many varieties of
5638theological subjects. He was a notable champion of orthodoxy, especially against
5639Marcion and in defense of the creed of Nicaea. He died at Edessa about A.D. 373.
5640
5641151
5642
5643Gregory Palamas. A fourteenth-century monk of Athos and the outstanding
5644defender on dogmatic grounds of hesychasm (see Simeon the New Theologian), to
5645which the Council of St. Sophia gave the official approval of the Orthodox Church in
56461351. Palamas died as archbishop of Thessalonika in 1359.
5647
5648Gregory the Sinaite took the habit in the monastery on Mount Sinai about the year
56491330. Later he went to Mount Athos, where he stimulated the contemplative life. He
5650also founded three great lavras in Macedonia and taught the practice of unceasing
5651prayer. Callistus, the patriarch of Constantinople, a former pupil of his, wrote his Life.
5652
5653Innocent was one of the great Russian missionaries of the eighteenth century. By
5654the appointment of Peter the Great he was consecrated to be the first bishop of
5655Peking, but the
5656
5657BIOGRAPHICAL NOTES
5658
5659Chinese refused to allow the establishment of the bishopric in that city, and Innocent
5660became bishop of Irkutsk. He labored as a missionary bishop for some ten years and
5661died at Irkutsk in 1731.
5662
5663Isikhi was a native of Jerusalem and in his early years a pupil of Gregory the
5664theologian. He retired to one of the hermitages in Palestine for some years, but
5665became a priest in the year 412 and established a great reputation as a teacher and
5666interpreter of holy Scripture. The date of his death is given as 432-433.
5667
5668John of Damascus. The famous theologian and hymn writer who lived in Palestine
5669in the eighth century and is honored in East and West alike. His great work, The
5670Fountain of Knowledge, is concerned with religious philosophy and dogmatic
5671theology. A man of immense learning in many fields, he is well known for his three
5672treatises in defense of the "images" (icons). One or two of St. John Damascene's
5673very large output of hymns are to be found in English hymn books, for example,
5674"Come ye faithful, raise the strain," "The Day of Resurrection," and "What sweet of
5675life endureth."
5676
5677John Karpathisky. Nothing certain seems to be known about this writer. But
5678Photius speaks of reading a book which contained, besides writings of Diadokh and
5679Nil, a section by John Karpathisky entitled "A consoling word to the monks who have
5680turned to him for consolation from India." This had been taken to imply that he was a
5681
5682152
5683
5684contemporary of Diadokh and Nil and belongs to the fifth century. Karpathos is an
5685island between Rhodes and Crete, and he was presumably either a native of the
5686island or lived there for some time.
5687
5688Kassian the Roman was born betwepr350 and 360, probably in the neighborhood
5689of Marseilles, His parents were well-known people and wealthy, and he received a
5690good education. He went to the East and became a monk at Bethlehem. About two
5691years later, hearing of the ascetic achievements of the Egyptian
5692
5693Fathers, he went with a friend, German, to visit them. This was about the year 390.
5694Except for a short visit to their own monastery in 397, the friends stayed among the
5695Egyptian hermits until the year 400. In that year they went to Constantinople, where
5696they were received by St. John Chrysostom, who ordained Kassian deacon and
5697German priest. The two friends were among those who were sent in 405 to Rome by
5698the friends of Chrysostom to seek help for him when he was imprisoned. Kassian did
5699not return to the East, but spent the rest of his life in his native land, still practicing the
5700severe asceticism he had learned in Egypt. He left some twelve volumes on the
5701constitution and ordering of the monastic life, written, it is said, at the request of many
5702in whom the monasteries he founded inspired great admiration. He died in 435 and is
5703commemorated by the orthodox on February 29.
5704
5705Macarius the Great (of Egypt) was the son of a peasant and himself a shepherd.
5706Feeling a strong attraction to the hermit's life, he retired to a cell near his own village
5707and later withdrew with some other monks into the desert on the borders of Libya and
5708Egypt. He was ordained priest and became the head of the brotherhood. He suffered
5709at the hands of the Arians for his rigid orthodoxy and died in the year 390 in the
5710desert at the age of ninety, having spent sixty years in solitude. Miraculous power
5711and the gift of prophecy were attributed to him. He left numerous writings on the
5712spiritual life. His relics are venerated at Amalfi.
5713
5714Mark the Podvizhnik was one of the most notable of the Egyptian Fathers, but
5715little is known of his life. He is said to have been mild and gentle, to have had such
5716love of the study of holy Scriptures that he knew both the Old and New Testaments
5717by heart. He is supposed to have lived beyond the age of a hundred years and to
5718have died at the beginning of the fifth century. He left behind him the memory of his
5719
5720153
5721
5722deep spirituality and of his devotion to Holy Communion; but few of the numerous
5723writings ascribed to him have survived.
5724
5725BIOGRAPHICAL NOTES
5726
5727Nicephorus the Recluse was a great ascetic of Mount Athos who died shortly
5728before 1340. He was the director of Gregory of Salonika (Palamas).
5729
5730Nicetas Stethatus was a presbyter of the Studium in the eleventh century and a
5731pupil of St. Simeon the new theologian, whose virtues and wisdom he absorbed to
5732such an extent that he was said to shine as the twin sun of his teacher.
5733
5734Philotheus was igumen (abbot) of the Slav monastic community on Mount Sinai,
5735but at what date is not known.
5736
5737Simeon the New Theologian died in the first half of the eleventh century. He was
5738a monk of the Studium in Constantinople and a great visionary and mystic. His
5739visions began when he was a boy of fourteen. The Method (i.e., the hesychast
5740method of prayer, the way of using the Jesus prayer) has been attributed to him, but
5741Hausherr gives reasons for concluding that he was not the author, though his
5742influence contributed to the spread of the method. Various explanations of his name
5743have been given, and it has sometimes been translated as "Simeon the young, the
5744theologian"; but according to Nicetas Stethatus, who wrote his life, the name recalls
5745St. John the divine, and so would mean "the new St. John." An examination of the
5746whole subject of the hesychast method and its connection with Simeon is to be found
5747in Orientalia Christiana, Vol. ix, No. 36, June-July, 1927.
5748
5749St. John of the Ladder, or Klimax, lived for forty years in a cave at the foot of
5750Mount Sinai. Then he became abbot of the monastery on the mountain. He died
5751about 600. He wrote a book called The Ladder to Paradise, and from this he derives
5752his name. The Ladder has been translated into English.
5753
5754Theolept. A monk of Mount Athos, and later Metropolitan of Philadelphia. Among
5755his pupils at Athos was Gregory Palamas.